#decerns

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

I have this head canon that Crosshair never gives up the classic silloette of the blacks.

Turtle necks, sleek slacks; always in black.

But they're in like 500 different varieties of fabrics and materials. Only he can tell the difference really so he gets teased about wearing the same clothes multiple days in a row.

But yesterday he was wearing the cashmere and today he's wearing the angora. Obviously.

[emotional-mess-in-distress]

I need all the other characters to lay off Teruko fr

Like I'm sorry that she didn't notice a slight movement of the body of one of her classmates and y'all are gonna jump her for it?!

YOU GUYS ARE USELESS!

She saved your asses last chapter!! Ungrateful much ?!

Especially looking at you Charles since you were talking big game about her mistake while knowing full well you were the most useless one out of everyone last chapter 🙄

Also don't think I didn't notice how Charles didn't get on Whit's ass for not paying attention and let him off with the watching Eden excuse. I know what you are. 🏳️‍🌈😒

[wildflowercryptid]

that post about terapagos has got me thinking about how florian's just. irreversibly linked to it after getting hit with its tera blast and having his body partially crystallized permanently.

[crowposts]

[dark-side-blog3]

Should I play boyfriend to death? I’ve heard of it, and I’ve found some play throughs online. But after downloading Degrees of Lewdity I feel slightly less intimidated in actually playing video games myself. But at that same time, should I really add another video game to my roster instead of watching someone else play and get it done more efficiently?

[placetneplacet]

Love Upon Time

[biinaberry]

With Spotify wrapped being out, anyone feel like sending me random numbers from 1-101 and I’ll draw what comes to mind

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Starting to feel like a washed up fic writer/content creator. Doesnt seem like anyone really wants me around or to even write anymore. Bummer.

[amoebamom]

Dear Journal,

I wasn't going to post this but it's the last part of my "missing post" series 📝 (which happened yet again but i took precautions this time😏) and I'm trying to finish projects i start (small victories 🙌) Well, here you go🤲💣🥧

DISCLAIMER: Everyone is different, so do what's best for you🫵 This was my experience and what worked for me👍

Depression has different levels. From feeling bummed about life, to severely crippling where you can't get out of bed because every waking moment feels like agony😫🖤😭😭😭 I'm referring to that kind🫢 If you have fallen in the black-hole of depression I'm sorry you're here🕳💔🫂 (there's no more love left not even for yourself now)

It's a difficult place to get out of but not impossible (unfortunately, not everyone does😥). And it's not just one thing that's wrong. It's that you stop doing everything that you need to function as a "normal" person (from basic needs to matters of the heart). Add abuse/trauma (which are more than think😬), and you'll need more time to heal those deep wounds (sometimes it's lifelong)⏳️

What needs to happen now is "Radical Sacred Selfishness," which strictly prioritizes oneself. Focus on self-love/inner-child work to help connect with your being again (soul retrieval).

👣Steps to survive depression:

Medication - this is important to help you stay even keel while you work through everything. Since you're not in the right state of mind, then you'll need something to help elevate your mood a little bit. The goal is to eventually not need anything to depend on to feel happy. My preferred medicine of choice is Cannabis💚💚💚 It has lots of healing properties (a true miracle plant🌿)👍 but it's still a stigmatized "drug" even though it has less side effects than other things that are considered "legal" (but that's another conversation)🤨

Psychotherapy- talk through everything that needs rewiring/changing/mourning because you can't be trusted in that current state of mind. Let go of every that no longer serve you or benefit you in anyway😔🪦🙏 (outgrown situations) But depending on the resources that are available to you, will determine how quickly you can recover from this critical condition. I personally couldn't afford therapy the conventional way (plus other reasons that I'm not getting into rn🤨), so I went with the alternative route, Psilocybe (a magic fungus)🍄 and that totally did it for me🤯🤯🤯. Though it's not exactly legal🚫🙅‍♀️ so you'll need to either know someone or go in nature to get one (do the research on how to spot the right one first👩‍💻). Recently, places like in Oregon that have done the research are now leading the way to help others to legally and safely heal at their facilities a good option, too👍

Environment- by removing/eliminating anything that is damaging to your health (which includes people, habits, consumption of any kind, ect.) Even if it means living somewhere else temporarily (without completely isolating yourself☝️) to focus on a steady routine that will help regulate your nervous system (that alone causes so many issues😓) and your basic needs

having plenty of sleep daily 💤 (7+hours)

healthy & consistent meals (breakfast/lunch/dinner) with plenty of water to stay hydrated💧

enough exercise (it can be walking/yoga/somatic/aerobics/dancing/breath work/sports, ect) or mixing up different things depending on what you need that day👍

hang-out with people that treat you kind (only), that's really important for your mental health

spend time in nature (to unplug📵) for forest bathing & grounding🌲🦶🏞 (to help balance your energy⚡️)

Creative outlets or hobbies/activities that you consider fun or a way to express yourself (art can be therapeutic✨️ )

Anyway, if you stay on track, you'll be able to get out of this even stronger than ever before💪💪💪(and that's not an easy feat)🙌🥇💐🫂👏👏👏👏

You'll have the decernment to express your emotions/energy on everything that matters most to you, and live life more mindfully in a "yutori" way (space to move freely/peace of mind😌), to trust your intuition guiding you home in a loving and powerful way❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

I never thought I could overcome this, but now I'm here encouraging you to never give up!!! (anything is possible)✊️

[gordonthefreedman]

not even 5 minutes into mumbos hermitcraft 10 video and

[fluidity-stupidity]

Beginner Witch Things to Research

So many older - more experienced - witches tell beginner - baby - witches to start with researching things like protection spells, grounding, cleansing and warding but what do you research afterward? These are just a few things that I would recommend every individual to research, regardless of how experienced you may think you are.

Carl Jung's Map of the Soul This is where the archetypes stem from, a what a lot of witches dread doing - Shadow Work. Shadow Work is uncovering not just traumatic ventures of our pasts but also revealing what made and makes us who we are today. Studying where it all started makes working through your own shadow a lot less stressful and a lot hammering on the soul, it also leads to a lot less martyrdom in the spiritual community.

Honing in on your psychic abilities and Intuition Gaining the ability is easy, everyone has these abilities, you just have to work to get them to where you want them to be. Remember a spiritual practice is still a practice, you have to put in the effort to get better, just as you would a physical sport or an instrument.

Egregores and Amalgamations vs. Deitys vs. Pop Culture Deitys Egregores and amalgamations exist solely in the astral plane and can (and will) mimic, imitate, and parody deities. Being able to decern these, especially with your intuition will always provide useful. Learning that Lucifer from Dantes' Inferno is reaching out to you versus aspected, epithetic source Lucifer will give you a much better relationship and outcome in your practice.

Deity Work vs. Deity Worship Offering play a key role when learning to decern these from each other. You can in fact, do both, but be warned deities get jealous of each other.

Find what you love and surround yourself with it Incorporating things that you love into your practice and not actually doing what you love about your practice is one of the key differences I saw in my practice when I learned how to differentiate them. I found incoporating pop culture media into my practice made me get burnout from both that piece of pop culture and my spiritual practices.

Finding a form of divination that you are most comfortable with Everyone likes using cartomancy, divination using cards or pieces of paper, is the most common form of divination, but learning your favorite form of divination will help avoid burnout and creating tension for yourself in your practice.

[the-wellspring]

Decernment

Learning to trust yourself is a major step to enlightenment. All the while you seek the thoughts and opinions of others you are susceptible to manipulation.

Education is about drawing out that innate knowing, combined with learning to assess all received information with discernment.

Clarity of thought comes when you allow time to distil all information against the balance of reason. To take everything on blind faith weakens you and is a lazy way to proceed. With decrement you learn the value of self-belief.

Within you is the entire knowledge and wisdom gleaned through your many life-times, and is available to the present moment when you feel within for understanding. 

However hard the present trials might be you will find guidance. Inside you are all the answers regarding right action with an appreciate the lessons you are dealing with.

[wu-kongs]

Please please please do it 🙏♥️🙏 (doesn't have to be today but that sounds so cool)

hehet. i'll add it to the ditty list

[oksana-moods]

All Too Well

Summary: Natasha tried to mend what's left broken. Because no matter what, she's the love of your life and she knows all too well.

A/N: It's been forever. This 5k piece felt like I was writing 300k, it was difficult, funny, hard and I miss doing this more often. I hope you guys like it and please, it be amazing for me to know your thoughts about it.

You can read it as One Too Many part 2 or as a single piece, it is up to you.

Warnings: Mentions of blood, torture, mentions of death, alcohol, angst (you know how I am, I can't simply write people kissing without suffering before).

"Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place"

The gun pointing at your face barely meters away should be intimidating, but at this point no one would blame you for not caring anymore. And you didn’t even mean the last couple of days, no, your whole life had been a fight, a struggle, an act of survival after another, so the last few days were nothing but the same blur.

The gunpower inundated your nostrils and the pungent smell masqueraded the smell of blood that clung to your brain and you were sure you wouldn’t erase it even if you got out of your current establishment.

Your heightened senses were capable of decerning all the different blood samples available in your cell: yours and from other occupants that came before you, or the blood that belonged to some of your kidnappers, who’ve learned in the worst possible way that you were not to be underestimated.

Back to the gun, the man behind it kept enchanting the same questions and you wondered how long it would take for them to get tired of your silence or mock replies. A sharp pain in the back of your head made you look up to meet his eyes, another man behind you was forcefully pulling your hair down to force your head up and you were already tired of him doing this.

“Where are the others?” The man with the gun asked, patience waning thin. Good to know you were on the same page. “Where is Romanoff?”

A blooded grin made its way to your face after you spat on his shoe. “It’s funny you think I’ll tell you now after all you’ve put me through. Do you think I’m afraid of your bullet?” And you didn’t even mean the fact that you probably wouldn’t die if he decided to shoot anywhere else other than your head, but you did mean that you were not afraid of dying.

Actually, you were so tired that perhaps laying down cold wouldn’t be unwelcomed. There wouldn’t be any pain, your body wouldn’t try to heal only to get hurt again. You thought it would be refreshing.

Two steps and the man pressed the gun over your knee, and you already knew, his wicked grin grew wider when your body convulsed with pain even though you concealed your scream in muffled grunts by biting your lips so tide you tasted your own blood, again.

“Why don’t you make it easier for you? You tell me what I’ve asked, and I kill you fast.” He pulled a chair and got comfortable for he knew all too well you wouldn’t budge easy. “I promise you. One silver bullet in your temple. Fast. Easy.”

Your eyes flashed to his. Silver bullets were really affective against your healing skills and very few possessed this knowledge. Someone must’ve tipped him off and the idea stung way much more than the powder burning the flesh inside your knee.

Only two women knew your weakness. Well, your creators knew, of course, but they were not in condition of speaking anymore. Unless someone from this organization was capable of going to hell to have a chat and then return to the living world with this intel.

Your love for Yelena was something so natural and it grew so fast for she was just deranged as you were: uncapable of functioning as what people labeled as normal. You were kindred souls and you felt like you were twins separated somewhere along the road and considering both of your past, who actually knew?

After long nights during long missions, you confided in her this. You were scared of losing control because sometimes the beast inside you took over and your brain couldn’t always sway the instincts. So you handed her one silver bullet in case things went south, she was adamant in returning it to you but you asked her to keep it, for insurance.

And the other person was Natasha. You never knew how she learned this but when she recruited you many, many years ago she already knew. If the pain in your leg wasn’t so overwhelming, you could’ve laughed at the memory engulfing your mind’s eye.

Her tide catsuit adorned with nothing but her black widow symbol, swaying her hips and pretending she wasn’t scared of the woman seated in front of her. You remember how her fear smelled, a stark contrast to her pose. You recall her words, her smile, her flirtatious play all to convince you to use your skills to her so called greater good.

And before leaving, she boldly closed the distance between you and placed a silver bullet in your hand. You understood the message. You weren’t stupid. Later she sworn that she was the only one, at S.H.I.E.L.D. or within Avengers, to know your weakness and you believed her.

And this belief comes back to bite you in the ass.

Because you knew full well that Yelena would die, she would kill herself even, before telling someone your secret. But Natasha? You didn’t trust her anymore. She had done it before, and you knew it all too well. If you were to be honest, after one too many treasons, you didn’t care about another.

Or so you told yourself.

“Good luck.” You rasped out after a long time inside your own head.

The man tilted his head to the side and smiled that smile that told you he already knew what you would say. You would go further and say he was eager for it. “I think in the torture manual says I should tell you that I don’t enjoy this, but I’d be lying. We actually bet how long it will take for you to drop the act and start screaming.”

You bet no one thought it would be that fast. He stumped a knife down your thigh so fast and so hard you saw stars. You could feel the silver poisoning the skin and muscle where it was nested, and it burned like nothing else would.

Unfortunately for them, the apex in you was not used to be a prey and this injury was powerful enough to make your survival instincts kick in. It happened so fast it was a haze, one minute he was laughing, the other he was on the ground - lifeless, and just as the others came, they followed their leader – well, who you thought the leader was, at least.

Funnily, your countdown was wrong, or you were not the only one putting your captors down. As the blood ran free down your leg, your strength and capability of keeping fighting diminished. When a body collided with yours, it was a miracle you were still awake.

Her red hair framed her face perfectly, skin white as snow and her green orbs looked like there was an aurora borealis looking down at you as she nested you in her lap as you felt life slipping through your fingers - veins.

“Hey, hey. Stay with me.” Her voice was strange, as if speaking was a struggle and she reeked fear, but not the same you were used to, as if she was feeling a different type of fear, it was a strange concept, but you hated it, nonetheless. If these were your last moments breathing, you wanted her true smell. The one you knew all too well.

“Please, don’t you dare die. I’ve got you.” Her muffled words found your ear, but it was hard to even comprehend anything at all when her lips felt so cold in your forehead. “Heal. Why are you not healing?”

“Silver.” It was all you could say. It was all you had to say.

She frantically started yelling at someone, perhaps the comms, but before you could close your eyes for good, you saw a red blur and he was complaining about your weight.

Her giggle filled the room as the first sun lights announced the day had just begun, you looked at her alarmed, for it was definitely something new. “Are you mocking me?” Enable to conceal a smile yourself.

“I’m not.” She denied, but her laugh told you differently. Her freckles painted her angelical face and her eyes looked like they held the sun captive. And you. And she knew, all too well. “It’s just I can’t believe you still have this scar.”

Her index finger traced said scar as she looked at you expectantly, waiting for your explanation, even though she already knew.

“I didn’t know Wanda’s necklace was made of silver, okay.” You finally replied, pulling her close to you as if her weight meant nothing, right in that moment this action felt so normal, so homely that it ached. “I thought I could take it from that heated place for her, but it burned me as I did. It was silly.”

She giggled again, though muffled by your shoulder this time, there was something new in her eyes that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. “It was cute. Silly, but cute. That necklace belonged to her mother.”

“I know.” You were locked in her eyes, and she stared at you as if she was trying to reach your soul, then you felt her fingertip leaving the palm of your hand to intertwine your fingers as she let her eyes stray to look at both of your hands.

The feeling was overwhelming. You were aware of how fast your heart was beating, you could only hope she couldn’t feel or hear it, for in that moment, all you wanted was to engrave the sight of you, together, and you wish you could just have this forever. Have her forever.

“I’ve never felt this before.” Her brows were furrowed in a way that made you upset, but you wouldn’t let go of her hand for nothing in this world, even if it was to soothe the crinkles in her forehead. “I’m in love with you.”

For a moment, there was nothing that you could do but wait for your brain to register her words and meaning, for a whole minute you simply stared at her, trying to search for a catch or a joke but you found none. And she looked up at you so innocently that you found yourself believing in her.

“I thought-.” You tried, but she never let you finish your sentence.

“I know what I said.” She stopped you midsentence, but her voice was not stern, it was almost tired. “This is not what I feel anymore.” Again, her eyes found yours and the way they shone made your knees weak, luckily you were laying on her mattress.

Somehow, they conveyed so much of this feeling she had claimed she was not capable of nurturing that your stomach did somersaults. And right in that moment, you realized that perhaps silver could hurt you, but this woman was your true weakness.

Specially if she’s looking at you the way she was.

“You already know how I feel about you.” You whispered, it was terrifying saying again the three words that you were sure would make her fly away from this strange arrangement you found yourself in. Yet she didn’t.

“I know.” She confirmed after a while admiring your eyes as if she could read your mind. After deciding she was content with whatever she found, she leaned in and pecked your lips so tenderly it hurt.

Then, when she looked at you again you saw, from the small smirk growing in her lips, that she had gone back to play her prime character: the Black Widow.

“Let’s have a breakfast before the funeral, shall we?” As she got of the bad, you copied her movements going back to your own suitcase to find something comfortable as her voice broke the silence filling the room. “I never asked how you and Sharon became friends to the point you’d come to a funeral of her relative.”

The cleanliness of the room was the first thing you were aware of. In fact, you didn’t even realize you were awake, therefore alive, before the smell hit your nostrils. And with it, her scent.

The occasional up and down from her feet and bouncing leg was the only sound in the room except for the noise coming from the heart monitor over your head. She was anxious, that much was obvious even if you weren’t an enhanced being.

Mentally searching for your injuries and pain, you understood that whatever had happened with you, was all gone. Excluding the lingering pain in some specific places that you credited to silver induced wounds that would take way much more time to wear off.

However, considering the state you were in, whoever tended these wounds had operated a true miracle.

As you opened your eyes, you half expected bright lights, common to these hospital rooms to hurt your eyes, but you soon identified that the only source of light was a yellow bulb close to the door.

Natasha.

“Thanks for working the lights down.” You rasped out and stifled a giggle as she jumped from her chair by the wall and bolted to your bed side. The book previously nested between her hands now long forgotten on the floor.

The iron grip which she clutched your hand didn’t go amiss to you. “A week.” The sadness in her eyes was palpable. “A whole week blacked out.” She explained further but you didn’t need to know the details of how long you were sleeping or how many times your heart stopped at surgery.

“You scared the shit out of me.” Then it hit you, the same type of fear your nose caught when she found you in that facility, it was fear but not the one someone feels when they’re actively facing danger, but it was fear for someone else. Fear of losing someone.

Something stirred inside your heart, but it was something that you couldn’t dwell much longer, not, at least, in that moment.

“They had me, after you sent me as scout.” Your tone was flat, and her eyes widened a little at the bluntness of your accusation, though you were far from settling for little. “They knew about the silver.”

Her hold faltered, but your hand was still snuggled between hers. “What are you accusing me of?” She narrowed her eyes, but her green orbs were bright even in the poor light.

“Cynicism doesn’t suit you the way you think it does.” Before you could even pull back your hand, she completely let it go and got to her feet. “Look at my eyes and tell me that you actually didn’t let them get me, just to find their hideout.”

She had her back turned to you, acutely avoiding your gaze. “Look at me!” You demanded and she had the gall to look at you through her lashes, as if her seductive skills could help her now. You wouldn’t fall for that, and she knew it all too well.

“It wasn’t my intention for you to be captured and I never thought someone else would know about your weakness. I thought I was the only one alive to know.” She finally turned to you, eyes now darting around the floor as if it could grant her the answers she sought.

“Lena knows too.” You corrected her, but if she was surprised by your update, she never showed.

Shaking her head right to left as if to deny such possibility, she exclaimed. “She’d never do this to you.” It was funny that at least in this matter you agreed. “I think she loves you more than she loves me.” A sly smile escaped her lips and you had to restrain your heart from fluttering at the sight of it.

“I was waiting for your check-in. I went to your assigned coordinates, and I know I underestimated their numbers, but I would never let someone capture you.” Her feet dragged her back close to your bed but maintained some distance between you.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” You shot back without missing a single beat, crossing your arms around your chest.

She sighed tiredly and looked down at the floor. You wouldn’t let her forget that she was the main cause for you to be locked in the Raft, well, her and your support for Steve when Ross tried to shove the Sokovian Accords down your throat, and solely because you shared his point of view.

After being controlled for most of your life by a group with shady intentions, you swore you’d never submit your loyalty and services to a third party again, even if it was a government group – specially a government group, actually, so only over your dead body you’d accept the Accords.

But when you came back to see if Natasha was fine, she had gone without thinking that you were left behind and in the care of Ross to be taken to the Raft with the others, without sparing a single thought to you.

“I’d never ever willingly put you in danger.” She said taking another step closer to you. “I have never mentioned to anyone about your secret, and I purposefully kept it out of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files.”

Her eyes kept darting from her hands to your eyes, never focusing, never staying too long. “Look, I know Yelena would never speak about it, but I wouldn’t either. And I didn’t, you must believe me!”

“I must?” Your eyebrows shot up so high so fast it hurt. “Well, you made it pretty damn hard for me to believe, don’t you think, Nat?” Your tone was hard, but you were not even speaking too loud.

Somehow, Natasha thought this hurt way much more.

“C’mon all I feel for you-” She tried to counter, but you wanted to swallow the lump stuck in your throat trying to choke you, so you cut her midsentence.

“Words, Natasha.” She found herself locked within your burning eyes. “I kept you as an oath, yet you hid me like another dirty secret. And all you’ve felt you kept hidden – buried – just as who you really are.”

After years thinking about how she lured and how she hurt you, you thought that maybe spatting what your relationship really was – a hidden lust, would make you feel better, would free yourself from her hold, but it didn’t.

After all, calling her unfair wouldn’t change how lonely she made you feel, how she took your happiness away whenever she drew herself back to her main character as she left you daydreaming about imaginary scenarios built in “what ifs”.

As your words found her ears, they settled heavily in her stomach. She knew she had massed up, she had hurt you many times, yet all she wanted was go back in time and erase all her wrongs and all the times she promised and never delivered.

She didn’t possess a time stone, though. There was nothing she could do about the past, however, she knew she couldn’t run from her mistakes anymore. If she wanted to start anew, she’d have to show she was different.

She wanted to, no, she needed you to understand that she was a whole new person because you’ve changed her. She didn’t want to hide anymore and for that she’d have to let go of her walls and be vulnerable. Truly vulnerable.

Funnily, she had played with her vulnerability before, being vulnerable just enough for people to lower their shields or masks so she could get what she wanted but this was something else entirely.

This time she wouldn’t act. She’d be vulnerable, at your mercy hoping she’d make it out alive on the other side. It was something new and it scared her, but losing you was scarier.

“I didn’t know you came back to check on Barton…” She tried weakly, knowing that this was a sore subject for the both of you. Each with your own views and reasons.

“I helped Clint, yes, but we went back looking for you. Yet, Ross was all we’ve found.” Your glare was cold, perhaps colder than ever. In the pit of her stomach, she knew she deserved it, she just wish you could move on with it.

“I was wrong, okay. Is that what you want to hear?” She snapped, though her voice was still in a low tone, eyes sad. And you hated it. “I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry for not going after you that day at the airport or at the Raft.”

Her eyes fell once more to your hands, she slowly nursed them in hers and this action was so soft, so hesitantly as if she was afraid of you taking it away; afraid of you shutting her down once more.

“I wish I could do things differently, but I can’t, and for that I’m sorry. But I- I wish we could try move on from this. I still have feelings for you.” As words flowed through her tongue, you watched as eyes portrayed a sincerity that you rarely saw within those forest green orbs.

Usually, they hid her true feelings or performed like an actress twisting her truths mixed with pieces of lies and characters she created through life until she herself was unaware of what was true or not.

“I hear you, Natasha.” You rasped out after a long moment lost inside her beautiful eyes. “You speak of things as you did before, yet you never act on it.”

Her hands were warm, a muted invitation to go back to your dreams of having a life with her. The only person who never showed any sign of fear about your nature, that never once treated you like an animal.

She never treated you like a woman either.

“I want you to show me.” Your stone-cold eyes punctuated your feelings in the matter at hand. If she wanted to have you back, she’d have to show you she’s changed for words could only take her so far.

“I will.” She vowed and smiled softly, though her heart was shattering inside her chest. She made a career making people believe in whatever she wanted, she supposed she’d be able to make you believe in her heart.

How hard would that be?

Laugh filled the room after another not-so-funny Tony’s jokes and your head throbbed as the sound echoed inside your skull. Parties like these were always a torture for you, after all, your enhanced abilities of hearing and catching smells better than a normal person proved to be really awful in a place full of people with different perfumes, scents, chattering and loud music.

However, Tony himself forbid you from leaving tonight for this was his engagement party and it would be rude to Pepper if you left too early. Deciding that indulging him was easier than arguing with him, you found a safe corner and pretended to enjoy whatever was going on.

Though, your sharp eyes, even though you tried hard, always wandered after a certain redhead and you could all but clench your jaw every time you judged someone got too closer for your comfort.

Jealousy clawed its way through your throat and even the best bourbon from the bar couldn’t help it. You knew you had no right, no claim, especially after your last conversation. Still, your heart acted on its own and made sure you’d regret your words and resolve.

Considering that you were one drink from scooping lower than ever for her, you abandoned your glass on a random table and vanished to the balcony in hopes the fresh air could help your head and brain.

The cars down the streets ran from side to side completely unaware of your inner turmoil as you pathetically looked down searching for answers you wouldn’t find there.

In fact, as your answers arrived at the balcony, you realized that her hills clicking the marble floor announced her before her perfume invaded your nostrils in waves as she moved closer and closer towards you.

“Tired of mingling?” She asked as she lined her body at the railing. Her red hair bobbed around her ears in meticulously designed waves and her dark maroon dress hugged her curves in all the nice places.

She was flawless.

As always.

“I think I might’ve break Sam with incredible five words.” You gave her a sly smile that she retributed with a smirk and a fake gasp.

“This is basically a whole speech.” She clicked her tongue playfully. “I think you’ve been around Tony just too much.”

You snorted a laugh and she let a broad smile paint her lips, content with herself for making you ease the pained expression adorning your face the whole evening.

Uncertenty hugged you like a cold blanket as you pondered your next words. As if rolling the dices in a game you were sure you’d end up losing, you turned to her and spoke. “You’re really beautiful tonight, Nat.”

Your heart fluttered as she fought back a smile trying to win her lips and looked down as if she wasn’t expecting your praise. She genuinely looked flustered by your words.

“Thank you. You’re quite handsome yourself. Well, I already praised your choice of suit, earlier.” She turned her body so now she was fully looking at you and you tried to remember how to properly breath. However, it was as if the air was composed of her scent.

You were intoxicated.

“What do you mean?” You asked confused. “This is the first time we speak tonight.” You clarify. Truth be told you’ve been keeping a fair distance from her and funnily enough she didn’t make the effort to push you and your comfort space.

She did make it obvious that she was trying, though. She invited you out in front of people, she brought you coffee whenever you were reading in the garden in the morning or brought you a blanket when you were on the couch watching movies with Wanda.

Whenever you were called to a meeting, she worked the lights so it wouldn’t hurt your eyes that much. And, one day, she brought you the files they recovered from Hydra from the mission you were taken, and you both learned that one of your creators left behind a journal and there were a lot of dirty secrets down there. Including yours.

To be honest, she was really trying to show her true intentions, but you were still afraid that this was just for show, just a ploy for you to lower your guard and be disappointed after she return to her normal pattern of misleading.

However, the way she stood basking in the moon light looking at you like she was slowly sipped through the cracks of your determination of not giving in that easy.

Her soft smile was a sight to see, and you even forgot that you were waiting for her to reply. “Directly, yes. I sent a drink to you earlier.”

Then it clicked in your head. Your laugh was loud and very uncharacteristic of you, though Natasha simply stood there admiring your carefree stance, a rare occurrence.

Your mind traveled to a moment earlier that night when the waiter approached you with a drink in hand, stating that the lady had sent it to you complimenting your fine tailored suit. At the time, the way he vaguely waved in the direction of Agatha and other ladies, you thought that one of them had been the person.

Though if you thought harder about it, Natasha was at the bar in that moment, right behind said ladies.

“Now it made sense.” You grinned back at her and nodded your head softly. “Thank you for the compliment and the drink.”

“Of course.” She flashed on last smile and turned her body to admire the city bellow and you did the same. Though you found it hard to ignore her presence by your side. You could feel the heat emanating from her skin, her sweet scent still impregnating the air around you and you could hear her fast heartbeat. It was uncommon.

In a haste, you both turned towards each other and started to speak at the same time. A nervous laugh scaped your lips as you signaled for her to go on first. And she did.

She closed her eyes as one does when bracing for the impact, as if second-guessing her next step, but when she opened her eyes again, there was no doubt and no deceit. “I love you and it’s ruining my life not having you, knowing that I am the one who pushed you away.”

You were speechless by her blunt confession, specially because she never, ever, used the word love in such a direct sentence. She expressed her feelings before, yes, but always with an adore, in love with you once or twice, never this straight.

She took your silence as hesitancy and reached for your hand, she yearned for your touch and the closeness of the last weeks made her heart clench with longing. “I am asking for a chance to show you who I really am, and I, please, I know I’ve made mistakes, but I wish to make it up to you.”

Her eyes were pools of emotion and you had trouble in breathing with her so close now. “Please, let me love you the way you deserve, the way I should’ve since the very first time I kissed your lips.” Her free hand caressed your cheek in such a tender way that you felt your knees weak.

She was definitely your true weakness.

You brain was haywire, short-circuiting with the lack of air and the sudden increase in your heartbeats. There she was. The woman you felt like you could love forever, offering you what you always wanted: her heart. For real this time. Not the hide and seek games you’ve been playing in the past.

She promised and have been showing changes, however, if you were to be honest, all she’d have to do was to come at you and say hi. If you were to be honest, she would always have your heart at her mercy.

Unable to form words and knowing that your silence was unnerving for her, as you saw her brows furrowing, you decided to answer her differently as you brought your hand to her own cheek and guided her lips to meet yours.

Her lips were soft as they used to be, and you could feel her body melting into the kiss. Her eyes fluttered open when you broke the kiss and smiled softly at her. “I love you too, Nat.”

Smiling back at you, Natasha circled her arms behind your neck to pull you down for another kiss, and another. And another.

And you knew, all too well, that she wouldn’t stop soon.

taglist: @username23345; @afuckingshituniverse; @strangegardentaco; @waltermis (I know you didn't specifically asked to be tagged, but I am doing it, nonetheless, because if your rb - and because you sparked a fire in this. Thank you.)

[sageofthestarz]

Dew walks in on Phantom trying to have some alone time and decides to help the quint out

Aka that first time Phantom fic I promised ages ago and forgot about

Dew can only smirk when he walks into their shared room at the hotel.

Dew had said he'd be out at some bar late with the others. Phantom having stayed behind claiming to be tired, Dew certainly didn't expect to see the younger ghoul borderline desperately humping his own pillow

Phantom was still rather new. To his knowledge he hasn't been wisked off to bed by anyone yet, so seeing him like this was a treat even if he was a little ashamed being there without permission

He cleared his throat and walked into the room further watching as Phantom froze, thighs shaking from where they were clenched around the much too soft and very wet looking pillow

"Well what do we have here?" Dew chirped out amused at the way he watched the quint try to pull a blanket over himself

"D-Dew I-" he goes to scramble to cover himself

"Calm done bug. I'll grab my wallet and leave you be, do warn a guy if you're wanting some alone time though" Dew hummed out trying not to laugh at the quints horrified face, the slow rocking of his hips didn't stop though much to Dews interest

"Ya'know. I'd think you wanted to be caught like this. Such a display and everything" he mused, really just being an asshole for the sake of it but the deep flush on the youngers face makes something in him stir

"Most of us just shoot in the showers kid, just so ya'know" Phantom whined covering his face in his hands

"I know! Okay I know.. I- I just. Can't. Can't get off unless it's like this.. even then I still just cant" he grumbled out. Embarrassment mixed with frustration. Unable to meet Dews eyes as his own had small tears coming to them

Dew was, more then a little surprised by the confession, taken aback but he felt for the younger

"I- Bug I'm not trying to make fun of you okay, just saying let me know so I can stay out of your hair.." he said glancing to the door, the instinct to flee pulling at him, but looking back at the newer ghoul, he really just wanted to help

He's seen how stressed out the quints been, sure this wasn't helping. New vessel to learn, the stress of tour, and the way the stress effected the vessel. He knew it all to well. With a small sigh and a loud drop of his keys he's made up his mind

"Hey, hey relax okay?" He said in a much softer tone before making his way over to the other

"Can I touch you?" He asked, pausing next to him.

Phantom started at him for a moment, glancing between Dews face and the outstretched hand like he was trying to decern if this was another of his cruel jokes. He was hesitant but desperate so he gave a quick nod, his core throbbing at the thought of another's hand on him

Dew smiled cupping his cheek and combing the hair from his face "You're okay" he cooed quietly feeling how tense he was

Phantom lent into the touch, a small gasp leaving his lips leaning into it like a cat nuzzling his face into the hand his whole body leaning into it.

He doesn't remember the last time he was touched for anything other then the shows.

He pet over his cheeks sitting down next to him, coaxing him with gentle overly warm hands. Rubbing down his shoulders soothing away any aches. Trailing them down giving a small brush over his nipples watching as the other sucked in a breath rolling his hips forward, until finally to his waist guiding him to his lap.

Phantom was still in boxers, settling down onto Dews thigh leaning against him.

"Do not be afraid to tell me if anythings too much okay?" Wanting to make sure the quint heard he tilted phantoms head up and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. He set a slow pace, warm hands spreading over his thighs, around to cup his ass as he deepened the kiss, drinking up the moans that fell from the others lips

Soon his hands were gliding up, hands slipping under his shirt to move over chest feeling him up before thumbing over a nipple exparsmentally, before giving it a light little pinch as Phantom whined into his mouth. His hips twitching trying to find friction against Dews thigh

"Yeah? That feel good baby?" He asked leaning in to press a soft kiss down his jaw, then to his neck. Phantoms eyes fluttering shut as he slowly rocked against his thigh with quick nods

"Gonna take your shirt off okay baby?" another nod as he pulled it over the smallers head giving his little tits a look removing his own

Dew brought warm hands massaging over the quints shoulders, and down to lightly pinch his nipples giving them each a light tug "Look at you, so pretty~" he cooed softly watching the way Phantom shuttrred and ground down harder

"Yeah? You like it when I tell you how pretty you are?" The moan that fell from his lips was tell enough, a little info to file away for later use

Dew hummed happily kissing down his neck leaving a few light marks along his way, relishing in the small shakes and cry's the quint let out.

Licking slowly over his chest, watching his face as he took one of Phantoms nipples into his mouth, letting his hot tongue play with the harddened bud pulling a gasp him his lips squeezing his eyes shut tight

"Dew.. Dew please touch me?" He whined, unsure of where to place his hands eventually deciding onto his sides as Dew pulled back with a pleased hum

"You want to try something I think you'll like bug?" He asked much to Phantom frantic nodding. He wanted so badly to cum, he hadn't been able to since they left the abbey weeks ago

"Get up for a second okay?" There was a slight panic on his face but did as he was told. Watching as Dew laid back against the bed head propped up on the same pillow he was using earlier

"Take those off and come kneel over my head" he instructed, biting his lip as he watched the younger ghouls shaking hands slip off his boxers nervously before coming over and getting settled above Dew

"Brace your hands on the headboard there. Let me do the rest okay?" Another nod as he held on, jumping when Dews hands massaged up and down his thighs to his hips rubbing the ache he knew was there before guiding him down leaving a few kisses to his thighs, before licking slowly though his folds. Tasinting him, with a groan before he took the ghouls clit into his mouth

Phantom immediately tensed, this was very new to him. He didn't know what to expect but it certainly wasn't the fire ghouls hot tongue dragging so slowly over his clit, small shots of pleasure zipping up his spine.

Forcing deep breaths as he felt the ghouls tongue dip inside his folds and deep into him, thighs shaking in no time when he pulled back just to shut his arms holding his wasit to his face before diving back in sucking on him while letting his tongue press in long slow strokes over him

Dew was more then pleased feeling him squirm trying to buck his hips against his tongue. Giving in a little he helped guide his hips to grind against his tongue as he wanted, working him into to steady rythem. Moans and whines coming from above him as Phantom got used to the movement, using his mouth the same he would his pillow

When Dew brought a hand up to pet though his folds, collecting the slick from them before pressing a fingers inside Phantom couldn't hold back the loud moan as he started to desperately use the fire ghoul. Fucking himself back onto his fingers as dew added a second just to grind his clit against his tongue. It was pure pleasure filled torture

A whined chant of "Dew- Dew- Dew- gonna- fuck fuck-" scrambling to hold the fire gogiks head, hands fisted in his hair. "Cum for my baby, let me taste you" he purred out before doubling down, guiding his hips against his tongue moaning into his cunt and with a loud gasp Phantom came, fluid gushing from him as Dew worked him through it, thighs clamping against his head with thighs trembling. Deep panting breaths as he slowly came down Dew only smiled rubbing his hips and back

"You did so well, so good Phantom. Love your little cock so much. Taste so good" he purred gently guiding the shaking quints body to lay against his chest. Combing through Phantoms hair, and rubbing up and down his back as he calmed down

Phantom pressed his face into Dews neck, craving being close to him and Dew was more then willing to give him anything he needed. It took a bit, but once he was ready Phantom pulling away looking up to Dew with a blissed out look

"Hey there starlight, back with me?" He asked, a shy nod coming from Phantom "Good, you want to go get a shower? Get you some water and then we can rest?" another nod comes from him.

Dew takes him to get cleaned up, gentle as could be then wisked right back to bed for some cuddles and maybe another few rounds later on, ready to teach the quint all the way he could use his new vessel

[forestshadow-wolf]

Soap hates when his foods mix. He won't say anything if someone gets him food and just lumps it all together, he just... won't eat it. He'll pick at it, push it around, maybe pop a piece into his mouth.

He's been like that since he was a kid, used to get in a lot of trouble for it. Always the "picky eater" when really he's usually willing to try just about anything.

On many occasions soap has forgone lunch because everything got lumped together. Nobody really notices since he never says anything.

But ghost notices. It's his thing to notice the things that other people don't.

At first he couldn't figure it out. There was on pattern, and no decernible rhyme or reason to it. Just some days soap would eat, some days he would. It wasn't even that he'd have had a bad day. Sometimes it was 3 days in a row without lunch or 3 weeks of consistent lunches.

It was only months later that ghost finally figured it out. Months of watching him closely. Finally ghost realized, after watching soap receive chicken tenders and mash potatoes next to each other one day, and on top of each other another.

From from then on when ghost noticed soap skip lunch he made sure to bring soap something he would eat. Ghost brought it up the first time. Soap explained with a sheepish laugh, saying it was a bit embarrassing, ghost assure him it wasn't. After that soap usually have ghost his unwanted food. Sometimes ghost would do the work of separating his food items for him if there was time, it was the least he could do since soap pealed his peaches for him without complaint.