#deathreversed01

[skyfarering]

@deathreversed

she was a lonely person, but someone who can get used to the bustling of the grandcypher, even if she was a little introverted. nier was someone gran tried to get acclimated to the crew.

but despite all of this, nier was someone gran cared deeply for. he wouldn't anything to happen bad to happen to nier, even if she could defend herself. spirale is a wonderful place to make friends and that's the one thing that was on his mind, did she make any friends?

he takes a deep breath and walks up to the familiar person, she looked surprised to see him.

"nier...would you forgive your captain for leaving you alone?" he takes one of her hands into his own and hold it. "i hope you made some friends while you here."

[kleinstar]

" Oh yeah. I get that. It's frustrating. "

And he does. He's been there several times, sort of gotten over it and then swept into it again. As the colour spreads again he remembers it better too. He wouldn't want to make her feel worse over it or making it like it's some kind of grand sacrifice - maybe it's just Eiden but despite the darker feelings he feels like his base is pretty strong.

" Mm. I guess is just that no matter what I don't want to feel like that."

" Powerless or miserable. So I just consciously look ways to think otherwise? I mean, wouldn't say it works always but y'know, I just want to put some thought to it I guess? "

But telling someone that... yeah, it doesn't really seem enough. 'Just do more', is a little frustrating thing to say. None of it works always either.

" But y'know, I can't always stay optimistic either, really. But when I can, I think it's like... I try to treat myself like I'd treat my friend? "

Nier's gaze lingers on Eiden for just a moment; she wouldn't have thought such a cheerful man would understand what she means by feeling a part of you is missing. Part of her is curious, but it's not the time for that now.

"I guess I just don't like it when people... No, I don't like feeling powerless," she sighs. If Death were able to use the full extent of her abilities, they could cut down the whole of the rotten core, but it's only a dream for now.

His touch makes her jump for a moment, if only because she wasn't expecting him to brave the black that coats her. But it's a nice feeling, and her ears flick excitedly, despite the odd feelings that pervade her heart.

"U-um... Y-yes, let's go. Maybe we could return later, once things are back to normal," she says, beginning to walk back towards the entrance.

Part of her doesn't want to spread the black any further, and another part of her doesn't care. This hollowness is not an unusual feeling for her, but it feels especially pronounced now. She stops for a moment, turning back to her companion. "Um, Eiden... How do you... manage to stay so optimistic? I mean, even before this, you were so cheerful. In a place like this, how?"

[ellysiland]

it was a little strange to visit savior's respite during the night. the day, it was almost as though the cliff was glowing, blooming with colors. but at night?? with the moon just barely seen behind the clouds?? L.L. had to admit, it was unnerving. still lovely in its own right but … unnerving. still, people rarely visited the respite at night, for fear of being unable to see beneath their feet and falling off the cliff but the sinner needed a place to think.

unfortunately ⁽ or perhaps not ⁾ , she was not alone in this, for @deathreversed could be seen ahead of her. ❝ oh!! sorry, i didn't realize this place was occupied. ❞

[kisorashi]

Perhaps there was a better way to approach this–small steps, smaller crowds–better ways to expand someone else’s horizons. With a frown, Djeeta hoped Nier wouldn’t hold this impulse decision against her.  She had yet to ask how long the Erune had been residing on the island, swept away by relief, worry, and joy at the sudden reunion. Fresh and recaptured, the captain wanted to see if anything had changed. It was only fair to invite Nier along with her. With every few steps she took weaving through the crowd, she cast a worried glance over her shoulder.

Maybe going about it this way was no good. She should at least minimize the chance of losing her in the crowd. “Thank you for coming with me, Nier,” the blonde said, her smile bright and airy. 

Holding out her hand, Djeeta offers a link on their way around. “Here, so we don’t get separated.”

@deathreversed​  🌠

[kleinstar]

The grand hall of this library was honestly impressive, even more so than the one back in Aster's mansion. Sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if people ever dropped books into the fountain.... Selection wise... well, Eiden would probably head over to the Golden Ward for more fun reading but sometimes it was fun to find old, kind of ancient looking adult items and other courses of his own interests - or just bring his own reading. To his knowledge it wasn't forbidden

...so in other words definitely not anything he could pass over to this girl here.

Romance though... The ancient texts did sprawl with beliefs of effects of certain flowers and then some things he was unable decipher - basically what seemed old hexes or folk beliefs. It's not exactly his field of expertise but he's fairly it's not what she's looking for....

Doesn't hurt to try.

" Eeeh... Unless you're interested what seems some sort of old beliefs and stuff this place probably won't help you out much? "

" ...there's the university library in Golden that might be better. "

Eiden glances at his bag... He does have a couple of sfw romances in there too huh...It's all BL though.

" ....I also have some with me if you wouldn't mind trying? "

Worrying about her circumstances wouldn't change anything. The last time she had been on this island had been... tolerable, so Nier felt no need to concern herself overmuch. She would pass the time as she usually did.

The huge library in Cotes was unfamiliar to her, or did she just forget? Her previous time here felt like a dream within a dream, a haze that was difficult to focus on. So again, why concern herself? It was easier to simply... wait and see.

"Pardon me..." The young man had an unassuming face, but for some reason... Nier didn't feel he was a threat like she sometimes did with men.

"Do you know where the romance stories are? It's been so long since I've been here, and I think they moved everything... I can't even find a librarian."

@kleinstar

[skyfarering]

"i will always keep my promises nier, remember that okay?"

she looks exhausted.

he breathes in, okay how should he handle this as her captain? he is still holding her hands while she is sobbing on the ground, did the stars happen to have another one of those events again?

gran gets to her level and grips her hands, seeing a precious crewmate cry like this...he feels anger bubble within him. what could have happened to have her on the floor crying like this...she must have gone through something traumatic again.

"n-nier, it's okay...i'll forgive you. do you want to tell me what happened, i promise i won't be mad at you..." or at least he won't yell at her, maybe scold her if she did something too terrible. gran would never do anything to hurt or upset nier in anyway, even if she possibly killed another person, the best thing he could do is calmly speak to her.

She's tired.

So much has happened lately. The only reason she even left her home today is to buy groceries, because she hadn't needed any for weeks. She wants to rest, to curl up in the dark and not come out for days. There are things she needs to do, but she has no energy, no want to do them.

Nier is tired.

And then a boy in a blue jacket approaches her.

It takes a moment for her mind to recognize him; it feels like it's been years since she's seen him. All that emptiness is gone in a heartbeat, replaced with a warmth she hasn't felt since she came here. She's made friends, certainly, but none of them are the captain. Nier's eyes begin to fill with tears as he takes her hand, and she can only nod between tears.

"G-Gran... I've already forgiven you, I'd always forgive you, one-hundred times over... I know you'd never break our promise..."

She almost feels bad for burdening him like this, but the surge of emotions is almost too much for her. Nier clasps both of her hands around his as she sinks to her knees, chest still wracked with sobs. "I-I did make friends, I always tried hard to- To do things so that if you ever got here, you'd be proud of me... B-but I made a mistake, Gran... I did something awful... I-I'm sorryyyyy..."

[ellysiland]

ah. those type of people. it seemed as though nier was being greeted by specific people, those who wanted things on that area. thankfully, L.L. had yet to meet those people, even in her elysiland, which was surprising. a world where whatever you wished for could be granted. the fact that her guests didn't ask for that really did surprise the sinner. didn't people want things they didn't have?? did her former guests really have fulfilling lives outside of the web??

❝ i hope you weren't alone when you met those people. i've read that it's a terrifying experience for young woman. ❞ not that L.L. would know about it. she was a lucky one; outside experiences with other humans weren't things she had experienced before. ❝ of course it's not wrong!! wanting a place to belong … wanting people who treated you well, who saw you for you and not for what you could do … any normal person would want that. ❞

now that the sinner thought about it … nier was right. nobody knew her here. and, from what she gathered, nobody from her world was here either. nobody knew her, didn't know her status as an s rank sinner, didn't that she was the mastermind of elysiland ⁽ except for furina but all L.L. did was introduce herself as the owner ⁾ , didn't know of her full capabilities of world creating using the internet and even bringing people into her world ⁽ even if she was severely power—downed ⁾. ❝ nobody knows, huh … it's a little strange, for nobody to know of my sins but i kind of like it!! ❞

upon the praise her name was given, L.L. brightened significantly, a gleeful smile pulling at her lips. ❝ i did!! i did pick my name!! i do like lore—ley but...after a while, it stopped feeling like my name. it reminded me too much of some— ❞ people. ❝ thing i'm not really happy about. ❞ the name her parents chose for her. the same parents who abandoned her, tossed her aside because her illness had become too much for them. ⁽ her parents who got their normal daughter, like they always wanted ⁾

"I know what you mean. I've had so many men try and get on my good side just because they wanted something. Sweet words, gifts, but they were all empty gestures in the end. They weren't..." She clenches her hand. "Devoted, I think. I don't want to waste time on people like that."

And with L.L.'s words, Nier suddenly feels at ease. "I feel like... You really understand what I mean," she says, smiling. "Most people don't, and explaining it... Well, I don't know if it would really work. I've been told that some of the things I do are wrong, but... Is it really so bad to just want a place to belong?"

She gives a quiet sigh before looking back out over the city. "I don't love this city, but... It was kind of a relief knowing that you can start over, if you want. If you want to keep something secret, you just don't need to tell anyone about it..."

It feels like she might be revealing too much, but it's kind of exciting to even hint at it. Nier's made friends and allies in this city, but she hasn't told a single person the things she's done. She's afraid; would they look at her differently? Would they throw her away? Would they hate her? She doesn't want to chance it, so she just... doesn't.

She smiles back at the other girl. "It suits you. It gives, um... a good first impression, I think. And you picked it yourself, right? I think that's lovely."

[ellysiland]

❝ some people might call them "busybodies" with how invested they are in helping others. ❞ not that it was a bad thing, per say, but some people might not like it when someone tries to help them. some might even feel … belittled?? ❝ i don't like i'd like it if someone tried to reach out their hand like that. what if they're not doing it for kind reasons?? like they want something from me?? ❞ which … is fine. as long as she was useful. but L.L. had gotten better with her need for other people's wants, with her unhealthy need to help others.

⁽ oh. the sinner was a busybody. huh, who knew. ⁾

upon hearing nier's sudden glee, how her voice picked up, how her eyes glistened with an emotion L.L. immediately recognized, the sinner rested her chin upon an open palm, scanning pink—blue hues over the other and hummed. ⁽ nier could have been a sinner, if she originated in L.L.'s original world. that obsession, the want, need for that one person to only look at them; nier would have belonged in the love libram ⁾ ❝ mm. it really is a wonderful feeling. ❞

⁽ only look at me. tell me what you want, give me a reason to be. don't toss me aside, i'm useful, i swear!! i'll do anything you want so please just stay here and keep feeding me more of your wishes!! ⁾ L.L. let out a sharp laugh, closing her eyes and even covering it with a hand. whoops, almost fell too far into that abyss. no chief to help her here. ❝ it's a bit addicting though, huh?? ❞

❝ mhm!! L.L. is a nickname. kind of?? i haven't exactly used my real name in a long time. only the chief calls me it. ❞ her files, obviously, had her real name too but thankfully, everyone just called her by her username. except the chief. huh, L.L. wondered why they called her that, lore—ley. even nightingale, the ever serious adjutant, referred to her as sinner L.L.. ❝ uuh … well, it stands for … lore—ley. see, L.L.!! pretty creative of me, huh?? ❞

It's almost funny to hear of how many similarities there are between the two worlds. Two young girls, trapped in distressing circumstances, and then saved by a charismatic leader. How many women in distress are out there, and how many young heroes are rescuing them?

"I... kind of know what you mean," Nier murmurs, brow knitting. "So many people will just ignore problems if it's easier for them... But the people who live in this city are different, they're all very kind. Whenever I feel lonely, no matter where I go, it feels like there's always someone willing to lend a hand, or at least an ear..."

She returns to silence as L.L. ponders her reply, but Nier's eyes grow wide as the other girl answers. "I-I- Yes! I understand completely!" she says, leaning in. "When someone is looking at you, and only you, it feels so..."

Bringing her hands to her cheeks, the flush on Nier's face deepens. "It's a wonderful feeling. And when you know they're devoted... Then all the doubts just melt away... Then I know I don't need to worry anymore."

The smile remains as she sits back, and Nier submerges in her memories again. Talking about the Captain like this- why can't they be here, right now? Most of the time, Nier can manage their absence, but when she really thinks about it, she wishes they could be here right now, so they could be hers, hers, hers, hers hers hers-

"Ah, I didn't mean to ramble," she says, her face returning to its typical pallor. As much as she'd love to talk about love and devotion and holding onto someone so tightly that they can never get away, it feels... somewhat inappropriate. "A-and thank you for the compliment. Um... Does L.L. stand for anything?"

[ellysiland]

❝ eeeh~ this captain of yours sounds like a great person!! i wouldn't mind meeting them one day. i mean, if they're brought here too. ❞ someone who's able to accept them like that … yeah, that sounded like her chief. L.L. wondered if that kind of criteria was normal in different worlds, where there would be someone who was just a little different than normal. who was the center of giant groups of people, the glue that kept them together. the protagonist of a story!!

floating islands?? multiple from the sounds of that. oh, that sounded like something out of a fantasy setting!! ❝ my world isn't really all that special. it's kind of like … golden ward?? at least, the area i was born in. loud, bright lights are night with lots of people talking from the videos i've seen. their own little bubble where they don't pay attention to what's happening outside the city. ❞ where corruption clung to people and ate at their minds.

❝ nier, what a cute name!! ❞ and it really was!! L.L. wondered briefly if nier was a nickname of a kind?? or if nier had a nickname, what would it be?? nier was already a short name … something cute. hmm … ah, the sinner forgot that she wasn't all that good at naming others. take MANTY for example. MANTY the manta—ray. not really creative, huh??

did she prefer quiet places?? now that was a question the sinner had to think about, giving a slight hum in thought. ❝ i'd say … it's situational?? there are times where i crave the attention of others, where i want them to look at me, to pay attention and — ❞ ⁽ tell her their wishes. give her something to do, to look forward too once she left the tub. to know what the real world was like, what wants, needs and the greed of others took the shape of ⁾ the sinner cuts herself off with a frown before continuing. ❝ but sometimes it does get a bit loud in my brain. ❞

The other girl accepts Nier's offer without hesitation, but she kind of understands what it's like when someone reaches out like that. If you're not used to it, it feels like a dream come true, so maybe this girl thinks similarly?

Nier places a hand on chest, smiling as she loses herself in memories for a few moments. "I guess it's something similar for me... The Captain of my crew was one of the first people to really accept me. I owe them a lot, so I want to make sure repay their kindness. Unfortunately, they aren't in the city right now, so..."

Trailing off, she turns her gaze skyward again. Try as she might, she can't imagine not seeing the sky; even in her darkest moments, it was always hanging overhead. "The place I come from is called the Sky Realm, and everyone lives on floating islands... It's comforting to know that even so far away, the sky looks the same. Just blue, as far as you can see..."

She spends a few more moments staring upwards before she realizes how rude she's being. "Ah, f-forgive me, I got distracted... My name is Nier, it's very nice to meet you, L.L."

The two girls sit in silence for a short while, enjoying the quiet view that Savior's Respite offers of the horizon, but Nier shifts from side to side. If she offered to sit together, is it rude to be quiet? "Um, do you... Do you prefer quiet places, L.L.? This city can be too crowded sometimes, so I know lots of places where it's easier to be alone..."

[ellysiland]

⁽ now that L.L. looked at the other girl closely, those ears were adorable!! really, this place brought a lot of different races and people. fox eared people, rat eared, gem-creatures known as pokemon?? a sinner like her?? why, what if they brought over a corrupter?? she would be surprised but strangely?? it wouldn't be unexpected. there seemed to not be a criteria that the people brought here followed. ⁾

❝ sad?? hmm, i guess you could see it like that. but i didn't really mind it. to be, it was normal, not being able to see the sky. until recently anyways. ❞ it really couldn't be helped; that room was the only thing she knew. the walls, the single window above the bathtub that she could barely see out of. it was normal to her. but she supposed it might be a sad existence to other people.

❝ i might like people but even i have my limits. ❞ which was very hard to reach, especially for an affection—starved sinner like herself who literally created a world so she could interact with others and give them everything they wanted. anyhow, when the other offered to stargaze with her, even offering her a seat beside her, L.L. immediately accepted. ❝ oh really?? thank you!! your captain sounds a lot like my chief. they were the first person who took me outside and to the city. ❞

❝ i feel like they spoil me quite a bit though. might be my own fault. oh!! i'm L.L., by the way. what's your name?? ❞

"Ah, you didn't? That's so sad... I mean, maybe..." Nier frowns for a moment, ears flicking. She'd never seen land that wasn't a floating island before coming here, but that wasn't really sad, it was just... normal, where she came from.

But the sky is a comfort to Nier, no matter the time. The skies of her own home are an unending blue, reaching out as far as creation allows; even if she's trapped within the confines of this city, the skies still stretch on forever. And within an endless sky, there's even room for someone like her.

"Mmn, that's... I-I understand. It's a lot of people..." says Nier, a small flush on her cheeks. She could never dream of going to the Waters alone, either. So many people would be staring, and what if some playboy tried to flirt with her? It would be awkward to have to kill him.

"W-well, if this is your first time, then perhaps we can watch them together? My Captain is always saying things are more memorable when you do them with others." She pats the ground beside her, only a little nervous. At least if this girl does something unusual, it would be very easy for Death to intervene.

[ellysiland]

ah, yeah. L.L. remember when she first arrived here, how people were suddenly dyed one color or something similar of the sort. thankfully, she wasn't affected by it but it was still something to note. from understanding, situations, events like that were rather normal. some even circled around specific holidays and the like. ⁽ so, would that mean the next event would one on halloween?? ⁾

❝ the sky … wow!! look at those stars!! ❞ the sinner never really had the opportunity to look up during the night, whether it be on this island or home. so … was this … ❝ this ... could be the first time i'm seeing stars?? never got the chance to back home … ❞ not in her first home, not in her bathtub, elysiland's sky was just digital and she was never outside of her cell during the night, only the day. she did recall seeing some pictures, thanks to ada but seeing them in real life … this was a first for her.

❝ i did think about the waters of styx, even went by it earlier but … there are some people there and i feel like they might want to talk and i don't … feel up to that. ❞ extroverts truly were a different brand of people, able to talk to strangers without a problem, always reaching out to people who might look even the slightest upset.

If this new has girl noticed Death, she doesn't indicate it, and Nier offers no explanation. She's too tired to clarify it all, anyways; she came up here to pass the time quietly.

"I understand. Sometimes you want to distract yourself. So much has happened on this island lately, and there's not many places where I feel... Well, coming up here and looking at the sky reminds me of home..." She gives a small smile, looking back out towards the city. From here, the Archimedes Ward spills out beneath them, decked in a warm, honey glow. In the distance, the spires of Fibonacci can be seen, along with the great tree of Cotes and the twinkling lights of Golden's boardwalk.

"It feels... smaller, from up here," she says. More manageable, perhaps.

Countless stars dot the sky above; are they the same ones that could be seen from the deck of the Grandcypher? Nier's never paid them close attention before, but perhaps she will now.

"You're not a bother," she says, her eyes tracing lines between the stars. "It's nice to know that other people can appreciate this too. Like we're not alone..."

She trails off, but her eyes wander downwards, to one of the spots in the ward below. "Actually... This place does have a pool that's open late. You can sort of see it from here..." She points at the Waters of Styx, off in the distance. "A-ah, but I'm not trying to chase you away or anything... It's just an option..."

[ellysiland]

⁽ was there … something else there?? ⁾ L.L. blinked a few times, a hand reaching to rub just below one before frowning. maybe she was seeing something; it was rather dark after all. maybe it was the girl's shadow. there was a soft hum as the sinner slowly walked closer; not enough to be breaching any border or social bubble but enough for her to be heard. not that she needed to raise her voice, it was only the two of them here.

❝ mmm, yeah. i get what you mean. i'd normally go swimming to clear my mind, to just … hmm. ❞ unable to figure out what word to use, the sinner instead waved a hand around, hoping that explained it. though, she herself wasn't sure what she meant. ❝ but swimming at this hour, or rather finding a place open at this time would cause some problems so … here works. ❞

❝ again, sorry if i'm bothering you in any way. i can move to the other side?? ❞

The view was nice enough, but what Nier valued was the privacy. She didn't feel comfortable in her apartment back in Golden; it was too cramped, too empty. Only out beneath the open sky did she feel at ease, and only in places like this did she feel she could talk freely with her beloved Death.

"It is getting late," said the Primal Beast, seated besides its Evoker. "Perhaps we should be leaving...?"

"Not yet... Just a little longer." Nier's gaze is pointed out towards the horizon; she'd already marveled at the city's twinkling lights before, so for now she's simply staring into space. "With everything that's happened lately, I don't want to go back so soon. It's so quiet there..."

Death nods, and says nothing. The two sit, side-by-side, hands gently interlocked. Of course, the instant someone else's voice is heard, Death vanishes in a puff of dark smoke; despite everything, she's still shy around strangers.

Nier looks up at the new visitor, shaking her head. "That's fair, I guess... Not many people come here, after all. Sometimes, we just like to get away from everything..."

Her gaze goes back out towards the city. "It's... too much, at times."