#death dream is in my top 20 songs of this year

[svnflower-writes]

i wanna find out

part one. ao3 | series masterlist

description: james is confused, but no less confused as he was when he was a high school student and denying his infatuation with his best friend's brother. now, regulus is a regular at the cafe he works in, and james doesn't know what to do.

warnings: none it's fluffy james is so cute

note: (reblog and comment please please please i need the validation) HI HELLO I AM BACK OKAY SO i heard the new gracie song and i went insane bc its so jegulus and wrote this in one hour in english class and its unedited. anyway this is a series, the masterlist is linked at the top. this chapter has been on ao3 since yesterday but i didn't get around to posting it here. lowkey think this is terrible but oh wellll

taglist: (i included the people on my marauders taglist so lmk if you don't wanna be on this one) @thestarslittleking @chaserofstars11 @gu1lty-as-sin @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @a-beautiful-fool @optimizedchaos @star-ch4ser @qwerty-keysmash @lost-in-reveriie @tulips-best @nqds

Upon his first week at high school, James Potter had come to the conclusion that he would end up with Lily Evans if it was the last thing he did. She was exactly the kind of girl he liked, she was pretty and opinionated and she seemed like the sweetest person he’d ever met. Remus had chuckled at his lovesick pining, not having the heart to tell the messy haired boy that your crush when you’re eleven years old is never your soulmate.

He pined after Lily for two years, with no clear progression other than Lily awkwardly smiling at him each time they passed in the hallways. Safe to say, James’ feelings were not reciprocated, and Marelne had grown a habit of snickering at the way his eyes followed her down the hall.

A few students at school had thought he was overdoing it slightly, but he really wasn’t. He wasn’t overly pushy, and he had only asked her out once or twice. He was clear about his feelings, but wasn't going to make her uncomfortable. James Potter was a gentleman in the truest sense of the word, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel an undeniable feeling of heartache when she walked past and ignored his presence.

Now, however, James was in university. He was as over Lily as he had ever been, and he had escaped the inherent unpleasantries that come with being a teen going through the heartache of growing up. He felt undeniably free, and not to mention his psychology course was helping him understand himself better than ever. He was happier than ever, saying otherwise would be a blatant understatement. He was living in a flat with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, which had been his dream since primary school.

Lily was now one of his closest friends, and she worked at the flower shop that had a door into the coffee shop James worked in. Lily’s law degree and James’ psychology one made them a perfect pair, and much to Remus’ surprise, the two studied together regularly. The fact that James’ attention span and motivation had changed since high school was something no one had expected, and although he still struggled, he had his tactics to get back on track.

Some things never change, though, and James still hated quiet, slow paced days more than death itself. He could deal with stressful, busy days, but the mundane was his greatest oppressor, the repetitiveness of a quiet day driving him to the edge of his sanity. Today happened to be one of those days, he sat behind the counter at the small coffee shop he worked in as customers filtered in once every half an hour.

He sat, watching the slow ticking of the clock as the time went by as slow as it possibly could. It was 12:38pm, and 12:20 felt like hours ago. Blankly staring at the wall, the coffee he’d made himself had been discarded on the counter next to him and he didn’t bother picking it up, knowing that after half an hour of it sitting there, it would surely be cold. Each time someone walked past the door of the shop, James perked up—only to sigh as they walked past without a second thought. James’ tendency to romanticise everything that life had to offer often left him disappointed.

Finally, he heard the bell signalling that someone had opened the door sound, and his head snapped up in relief. ‘ My saviour, love of my life, thank god you’re here.’ his brain sung as he sprung up from his seated position, standing at the counter within seconds of the boy walking into the shop. His signature smile appeared on his face, “hi, how’s your day going?”

The boy seemed to falter, as if his carefully planned interaction of simply ordering what he wanted and leaving had been disrupted by a simple question. His dull blue eyes widened, and his lips fell open in a dumbfounded expression before he picked himself up and showed James a tight lipped smile. “Uh, I’m good.”

James noticed that this small interaction had absolutely foiled his carefully planned coffee order, and the boy had entirely forgotten to say what he wanted. James smiled softly, chuckling in his head. He always thought it was interesting how common these interactions seemed to be when you worked in a coffee shop. The psychology major in him couldn’t help but psychoanalyse these interactions, which made working in hospitality both intriguing and perplexing. He found that you could get a pretty good idea of someone’s mindset and what their day to day life is like by doing this, and it almost acted as revision for his upcoming exam.

“What can I get you today?”

Embarrassment flushed over the dark haired boy’s face, and he automatically sent another tight lipped smile to try and compensate for his forgetfulness. A strand of his soft black curls fell over his eyes, and James could tell just by his body language and the look in his eyes that it annoyed him to no end. “A black coffee, please.”

That was fitting, James thought. With the tidy (almost obnoxiously so) outfit and the carefully styled short black hair, a black coffee was the only thing that really made sense for him.

“And can I have a name for that?”

Stupid boy, you know his name.

“Regulus.”

James knew how to spell it.

He knew how to spell it and he hated that. Regulus was his best friend’s brother, and things between Sirius and his younger brother were rough. They got along until they didn’t. Sirius had spent more evenings than James could count frantically ranting about him on evenings at James’ house after school. When Sirius had left for high school, Regulus had distanced himself from Sirius more than he ever had before. Regulus had always been detatched, and James knew this from Sirius’ extensive complaints.

James he knew he shouldn’t have been so enamoured with Regulus in his high school years as he was, but when James fell for someone he fell for them. He fell for them intensly and irreversably and everyone he had ever loved lived in his heart for eternity. It may seem like James was feeling too insensely, but for him to not love so deeply and fully would mean he was not James Potter. He could not be in any sort of relationship without loving them to the end of the earth. His mother had always told him to cherish this, that his way of loving was incredibly pure and a love that many people would give anything to be the recipient of. But based off his past relationships, his love was not something to be cherished.

“Alright, I’ll have that ready for you soon.”

While he was making the coffee, James allowed himself to watch Regulus, noticing the way his hair was slightly more inclined to falling to the right side of his forehead, the way his greyish-blue eyes fixed on one spot of the wall and didn’t seem to move. He watched as his hands anxiously clasped together in his lap and his foot tapped.

James was a master of the art of noticing, and he tended to read into what people did, more so than was probably helpful. But James had always been observant, even as a toddler he had had an integral interest in people. He understood when people said that the human race was done for, but he was compelled to disagree. He had a sense of optimism that many thought was overbearing, but in the same way, James sometimes found their pessimism slightly disheartening.

Regulus intrigued him, although the boy was made of very few words and made him fiddle with his hands behind the counter and cause his eyes to flutter around the room to look anywhere other than his eyes. Regulus was pretty. He was the definition of pretty, with his wavy black hair and his grey eyes that shone with something James couldn’t quite place. James felt an intense urge to sink into the ground and never reappear. Unsure of what this was, he played it off as simply nervousness around someone new—not that it was common for James to ever feel nervous around new people. Regulus had this aura about him, one that James couldn’t figure out. It was undeniable that Regulus made James shy, but James would deny the reason for this nervousness for as long as he possibly could—and longer. This was merely a customer that would show up to the coffee shop once and never again—after all, he hadn’t seen Regulus in the shop at all earlier in the year.

For a reason James couldn’t quite place, there was a hint of awkwardness between him and Regulus. They respected each other, sure, but when they were alone, without Sirius or Remus, James felt an intense urge to sink into the ground and never reappear. He played it off as simply nervousness around someone new—not that it was common for James to ever feel nervous around new people. Regulus had this aura about him, one that James couldn’t quite place. It was undeniable that Regulus made James nervous, but James would deny the reason for this nervousness for as long as he possibly could—and longer. Regulus didn’t speak much, and James tried but failed to match this. The silence felt awkward, and he couldn’t go for long sitting in silence with him until he overshared, making the situation more awkward than it had been beforehand.

“Long black for Regulus?”

He says his name, although there is no one else in the shop to mistake the coffee as their own. But James likes the way his name sounds on his lips, as horrifically cheesy as that may sound.

Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. He’s off-limits and you know that.

Looking up, Regulus looked up and flashed a small, awkward smile, walking to the counter and reaching for the coffee. As his fingers wrapped around the cup, they brushed James’ fingers, and his grey eyes flickered up to meet James’ deep brown ones. “Thank you,” he looked away quickly and was out of the shop before James could even respond.

Okay, James thought, okay, this is okay. He just has to make it out of the shop and then I’ll never see him again.

But then Regulus stops halfway out of the door, sending James a wonky smile and a soft “I’ll see you around.” His eyes are twinkling with something unrecognisable, and once he leaves James allows himself to breathe and forces the dorky smile off his face as he swears under his breath.

Stupid, stupid boy.

[chaosincurate]

My favourites from 2024

Note: this post was made for my website, and I believe that is the best way to read this post! For the linkphobes, I did my best to replicate the quality of the formatting here, but if you want to see the original, you can follow this link to check it out. Thanks and enjoy!

As I assemble my top 20 albums and songs from this year, I wanted to take the opportunity to highlight some songs and albums that did a very specific thing well this year. Some of these superlatives will be about the songs more objective qualities, while some will be about how they fit into my broader listening this year, but all of them, I feel, deserve attention for their own unique qualities.

If you want to listen to my favourites as you read along, I've made a companion playlist on Apple Music (with auto-synced versions available on Spotify and YouTube). Linked here!

Most underrated album of the year

Criteria: This is the album I feel has gone most unfairly under the radar. It might be an album that isn't talked about enough, or one that is talked about, but not as highly as I believe it should be. Or maybe even a combination of both.

Los Campesinos! - All Hell

Kind of like: Gang of Youths, Death Cab for Cutie Songs to try: The Coin-Op Guillotine, A Psychic Wound, To Hell in a Handjob

If your thing is indie rock with great emo lyricism and a buried but noticeable punk streak, this album should absolutely be on your radar. This album is witty, depressing, masochistic, sadistic, frustrated, and so much more, all while still being an exciting and mostly coherent listen. It's one of those albums that has that perfect balance between the in-depth, something-new-every-listen approach and the immediate, fun, catchy approach which makes it great to listen to regardless of the level of focus you can afford it (although, as ever, I recommend a focused first listen).

Concept Album of the Year

Criteria: The album which I feel has the most interesting concept and/or execution of that concept which is explored over the course of it's runtime.

Honourable Mention: Lupe Fiasco - Samurai

Just an honourable mention here first. I didn't really connect with this album as much as I would have thought, and I think the execution of the concept seems a little lacking, at least on first few listens, but I couldn't talk about concepts of the year without discussing the album which dives into Amy Winehouse's hypothetical rap career. It's such an interesting concept, and I hope it is more embedded in the music than I can see after my first couple listens, because it's exactly the type of concept I'd love to get on board with.

Magdalena Bay - Imaginal Disk

Kind of like: Japanese Breakfast, a moodier Dua Lipa, Carly Rae Jepsen Songs to try: Killing Time, Image, Love Is Everywhere

There's so much to love about this album, and you'll definitely find out more about that if you catch my top 20 albums list that'll be coming out sometime in the new year. Sticking to the album's concept though, the concept is somewhat open to interpretation I think, but I'm fairly confident in my personal reading of it, which is that it's an album about cultural assimilation of some kind. Broadly, it is undoubtedly about a transformation, but how sinister (or not) that transformation is is largely left up to the listener.

On first listen, I considered it a positive transformation, probably due to the album closing on the happy love song The Ballad of Matt & Mica, but on repeat listens I picked up on some less happy undertones. Or more accurately, undertones that were too happy. It gave me Stepford Wives vibes, and my current interpretation as of writing this is that the album is from the perspective of someone who undergoes a transformation from a regular human with flaws and expectations into an eerie, overly-smooth version of themselves, a Stepford Wife that fits in perfectly at the expense of individuality, in order to attain the "dream" of a spouse, a house, and kids to run around it.

With both interpretations, though, one thing (other than the broader theme of transformation) remains the same: excellence in execution. It's almost reminiscent of how David Bowie's "Heroes" similarly has various valid interpretations that all feel powerful (a phenomenon I wrote about here, if you feel like checking it out).

Boundary Breaker

Criteria: This one doesn't have to necessarily be a groundbreaking release, it just needs to force me out of my comfort zone. This is the album that introduced me to a genre or style of music that I previously considered in some way out of bounds.

Charli xcx - BRAT

Songs to try: 360, Von dutch, Talk talk

I have so much to say about this one. It's an incredible album with so much interesting stuff going on, and as I mentioned with the Magdalena Bay album, there'll be plenty more on my top 20 albums list coming soon, but for the purposes of this list, I'll keep it about what this album did that was new to me.

This wasn't quite my first electronic album -- for starters it's a broad enough term that you could argue anything with a synth falls under it -- but full on EDM was something I never thought I'd be able to enjoy, even when my concern of there generally not being any lyrics is addressed. So for that reason, when I saw Charli xcx starting to blow up in the build up to this album I just rolled my eyes dismissively and moved on. Then I kept hearing about it and got curious what all the fuss was about, so I watched the Von dutch video and... I still didn't get it. I thought the video was really cool, but the song itself did nothing for me. Then, a month or so later, I had the song on repeat and ended up listening to it over 20 times in a matter of days (which is a lot for me, I tend to like a bit more variety) and listening to every post-transformation Charli xcx album before this album released.

And that's the strange thing about this for me: it was Von dutch that did it for me. It wasn't something stripped back enough to be accessible like 360, and it wasn't something somewhat similar to the likes of The 1975's sound like Talk talk, for example. It wasn't even one of the ballads. It was the most abrasive and unapologetically electronic cut of the album outside of the closer 365 or maybe B2b (both of which are probably top 5 on the album for me too). Maybe we should chalk that up to Charli xcx being an extremely talented woman, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that some of her less noticeable influences align with my own. Either way, I couldn't be happier that I gave this album a shot. It really impressed me.

Although, I am now left with an itch for EDM-adjacent music that can match this album which also has some focus on lyrics and it turns out that just isn't that common from what I can tell, so I guess it's a mixed blessing.

Bop of the Year

Criteria: My favourite song for getting me up and moving. It's on the lighter, more upbeat side.

Honourable Mention: Kendrick Lamar - tv off

There weren't many bops this year that really blew me away, if I'm being totally honest. Espresso was a solid contender, but it was weaker than I would like for it to be my choice here. Thankfully though, Kendrick is here to supply (spoilers) two -- and arguably more -- absolutely generational bops. This is my slightly less beloved bop, but even this is chock-full of incredibly catchy bars, and that beat is just so fucking sweet, and the switch? Every single detail is exactly as it needs to be to succeed as a bop. Its never been so challenging to not move.

Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us

The only person that can top Kendrick Lamar: K. Dot. Basically everything that I said about tv off can be said about Not Like Us, but the latter is also funnier, and feels more righteous, as it tears the biggest rapper alive (at the time, he's no longer alive) to shreds, calling him out for pedophilia (or at least close proximity to it), cultural appropriation, and exploitation of contemporaries.

It was the moment we knew, for sure, that the beef was done. Drake got cooked and Kendrick ate every crumb. It wasn't even close in the end. Everything just came together so perfectly on Kendrick's side as if he had been planning it all for years (which I wouldn't be too shocked by considering the impetus for the beef was seemingly a compliment? Just one that maybe implied that the "big three" were all on the same level?). And this song is the perfect cherry on top of his master-plan.

Euphoria told us Kendrick was here for the beef beyond the verse on Like That, 6:16 in LA told Drake he was here for the beef, Meet the Grahams told us why he was here for the beef, and Not Like Us made all those reasons accessible, fun, and, to the most success, funny. Without any of those previous steps, this might not have hit so hard, but after the severity of the claims was laid out so clearly in previous songs this one became both powerful and infectious.

Jam of the Year

Criteria: My favourite vibey, laid back song. Just a groovy, chill listen.

Honourable Mention: Charli xcx - So i

Okay, maybe this doesn't quite fit the description of a jam that I laid out above, but I think it's fair to say the song is a jam (unless you're one of those disgusting individuals who believe "ballad" is a distinct category. Those people make me sick). It's a pretty minimalist beat that props up a beautiful tribute to a friend and mentor who passed away. Frankly, this deserves some love from me purely on the basis that it gets me teary-eyed. Every time I dare to give this song my full attention the line about turning down an invite to stay for dinner punches me in the gut. It's such a mundane expression of regret, but that's exactly what makes it hit so hard, I think. The fact that everyone has been the person concerned they're overstaying their welcome, or not wanting to spend time with their loved ones for whatever reason and missed the chance to get even closer to them makes the lines critical of your actions in the same way they're critical of Charli's. It's a very powerful moment in a powerful song, and the whole minimalist sound of the track makes sure you feel it.

Kendrick Lamar - reincarnated

This is the perfect example of a hip-hop jam. A simple drum beat, a chill bassline to keep things moving, and restrained melodic hooks. It creates a beautiful backdrop to Kendrick's thoughtful commentary on how fame has influenced his predecessors towards evil and an undesirable death, to then turn that on him, as he reflects on the ways he is influenced by those same forces.

Banger of the Year

Criteria: My favourite song for giving me neck pain or hearing loss. The real blood-pumpers.

Honourable Mention: JPEGMAFIA - don't rely on other men

This is JPEGMAFIA at his abrasive best. The distortion on this track is downright ridiculous, but as ever Peggy knows how to get the balance perfect to make it sweet without going overboard and making it sickly. The Succession sample that runs through the song is bonkers, the lyrics (which aren't typically the focus with JPEGMAFIA's music due to the excellence of his production) are in-your-face and surprisingly catchy to me.

I think it probably helps that the song leans less into the rocky sound that the rest of the album has (as much as I love that sound), because Peggy has always excelled when it came to bangers. His tried and true maximalist sound is the perfect formula for hearing loss in hip-hop and I don't think an album of his would feel complete without at least one of these.

Charli xcx - Von dutch

I talked a bit about this in the Boundary Breaker section, so I'll keep this brief, but the special thing about this track is the production for me. It isn't a maximalist piece like the honourable mention at all, there are very few elements in this song, but the way the bass and vocals are distorted, and the presence that unsettling metallic shrieking sound that kicks in at the chorus has makes the mix seem so full but keeps things extremely memorable to the point where (if I was talented enough to create those sounds in the first place) I could probably recreate the song by memory and get it pretty accurate. For what it's worth, I believe 360 is very similar in that regard. If it wasn't clear that Charli and co. are masters of their craft before, I think the likes of this track settled it.

Favourite Finds of 2024

Criteria: My favourite album and song that I discovered this year that isn't a new release. It might be a massive release I only got around to listening to critically this year, or maybe it's a niche release that few people know about. So long as it wasn't initially released this year, but I only gave it a real listen this year, it counts.

Song pick

Madonna - Papa Don't Preach

If I hadn't gotten around to a proper listen of Madonna's music so late in the year, I probably would have made a think-piece on her legacy by now, because I was very shocked to find out just how huge and influential she was in her prime considering how little she seems to get mentioned now. Of course I knew she was an icon, and I knew there were a few songs I had heard in passing, and even a few that I quite liked to the limited extent I can when I'm not really paying attention to it, but I got the overwhelming feeling that we aren't giving Madonna her flowers nowadays.

This song in particular is probably pushing up against the boundaries of this superlative though, because this was always the Madonna song that stuck with me whenever I heard it on the radio, and I was already pretty familiar with it before my first critical listen (which did still come this year). I already knew I loved it, I just had to pay enough attention to pick out the details about why, and now I can point to the groovy, energetic bassline; the solid lyrics that incidentally highlight how new the abortion moral panic truly is; and Madonna's dynamic vocal performance that runs the gamut, switching seamlessly but impressively between a glitzy pop voice to an impassioned and strained pleading to a growl, giving the song a beautiful rising intensity. It's fun, it's catchy, it's got an interesting premise and some added depth if you're paying attention... Pop just doesn't get much better than this.

Album Pick

MF DOOM - MM.. FOOD

Kind of like: Lupe Fiasco, King Geedorah, Viktor Vaughn Songs to try: Vomitspit, Rapp Snitch Knishes, Kookies

Does a hip-hop album with a classic sound that revolves around food metaphors and double entendres appeal to you? If it does, go nuts, this album is perfect for you. If it sounds a bit cheesy for your tastes, that's fair, I felt the same way at first. But regardless of how skeptical you may be of the album's theme, you'll be asking for seconds before you're done with the entrée. And those seconds will turn to minutes which will turn to hours as you dive deeper, picking up a new stroke of genius every time you give this album a listen.

I'm not exactly sure how many times I've listened to this album now, but I've been going back to it often throughout the year after my first listen early in the year and I still don't feel like I've scratched the surface. I've still only listened to a handful of DOOM's albums for this reason, they're all just so dense that every album, especially this one, is a gift that keeps on giving. Whenever I think about listening to a new album of his, I end up deciding to listen to the albums I already know because I know there's still some novelty buried away in there and I already know I love it. It's either the best curse or worst blessing I could ask for, but either way I'm thankful to my past self for giving me a chance to fall in love with it.

So there are my picks! As mentioned earlier, a top 20 albums will be coming in the new year if you still want to hear more about my favourites of the year, and I'll also try to get a top 20 songs list done before January is over too. And if you want an easy way to listen to the stuff I mentioned here, here's the link again to the companion playlist on Apple Music, Spotify, and YouTube, as well as at the top of the page (note: there may be some sync errors on the latter two services). Enjoy!

[caesariawritesstuff]

♡ CaesariaWrites ♡

● Ao3 ● X ● Retrospring ●

Hi! I'm Caesaria. I write for the Riddler and other Gotham Rogues, but you'll find 95% of my content is Riddler orientated. My current focus is on my long-fic, Cat & Mouse.

♡ I'm a 30-year-old cis female living in the Midwest.

♡ When not writing fanfic, my focus is on my original fiction, as I have big dreams of becoming a published author one day.

♡ I was diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, and OCD.

♡ Fun fact about me: I'm blind in one eye.

♡ I'm pretty active on here, so my ask box is always open for requests, to chat, or just send me whatever you want.

♡ My Ask Box is OPEN

♡ Current No. of Requests: 3

♡ I write primarily for the Riddler (Arkham, Telltale, Gotham, Zero Year, BTAS), but I will write for the other Gotham Rogues, particularly for Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Penguin, and Two-Face.

♡ My preference is smut, angst, and other dark-themed fics, but I don't mind fluff, either.

♡ My main focus is my long-fic, Cat & Mouse, a Riddler x Reader story about a reformed Riddler coming to work for the GCPD three years after Arkham Knight.

♡ Anything to do with minors

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♡ Bestiality

♡ Major character death

♡ Sexual assault/rape. I don't mind writing something where a character comes to the other's rescue, but I won't write about an actual rape/assault taking place.

♡ Anything in general that makes me uncomfortable is. Sometimes I don't realize what that is until I get a certain ask!

♡ At the moment, I'm primarily taking requests for anything to do with my long-fic, Cat & Mouse (involving my Cat&Mouse!Verse).

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♡ Because Cat & Mouse and my original fiction are my focus, requests do come in last on my priority list. Sometimes this means it can take me weeks, if not months, to respond to an ask. I apologize if you have to wait so long, but just keep this in mind, as I do also have a life outside of writing and Tumblr.

♡ When requesting from a specific prompt, please be specific in as to which one so I can make sure I'm doing the right one!

♡ I write for the Riddler, Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Penguin, Two-Face, and occasionally Harley Quinn, if a request interests me.

♡ Anyone outside of this list I do not write for. Mainly because I either don't know enough about the character or just don't feel comfortable in my ability to write them (such as Bane, for example).

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♡ Here's a masterlist for all of my fics.

General Masterlist Cat & Mouse Masterlist

♡ Cat & Mouse is my long-fic, and really, my passion project.

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Comic Panel from Chapter 20

Reformed Scarecrow Art

Commission #1

Commission #2

Commission #3

Commission #4

Art Collection

Stim Board

♡ A masterlist of general prompts you can request from.

Put that Guy in a Situation

Build a Fic

The Look of Love

Best Friends to Lovers

Jealousy No. 1

Jealousy No. 2

Jealousy No. 3

Jealousy No. 4

Idiots Who are in Love

Random Various Prompts

"I Want You"

Date Gone Wrong

Hopelessly In Love

Longing for Someone

Injury

Nightmare

Angry Confessions

"I Want You" No. 2

♡ A masterlist of smut prompts for you to request from.

Smut Prompts No. 1

Smut Prompts No. 2

Smut Prompts No. 3

Smut Prompt No. 4

Smut Phrases

Dirty Text Prompts

Discreet Sexual Tension

Smut Prompts No. 1

Smut Prompts No. 2

Smut Prompts No. 3

Smut Prompt No. 4

Smut Phrases

Dirty Text Prompts

Discreet Sexual Tension

♡ I'm OPEN to Stim Board requests!

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♡ Check out an example of my stim boards here, here, and here!

*Profile photo by the wonderful @riddley-art

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[arlana-likes-to-write]

Second Chance - Chapter 5

Masterlist

Warning: mention of car accident, past surgery, cancer treatment, chemotherapy side effects, survivor guilt, bone marrow procedure, talk about death.

Relationships: Yelena x reader, Morgan x reader (platonic), Tony, Pepper, x reader (platonic), Wanda x reader (platonic)

Note: a lot of this chapter is based on my own personal experience with the disease. As I've learned chemotherapy effects everyone very differently. The type of chemo the reader is on is based on her type of cancer but the treatment plan may not be 100% accurate.

Word count: 4k

Morgan was pressed into your side as she scrolled through the many streaming services that were offered at the tower to pick a movie. After dinner, Morgan dragged you to her floor and sat you down to watch a movie. She claimed it was unfair that you didn’t play with her so you had to watch a movie together. It was cute and a movie night sounded perfect after the long day you had. There was something about the blonde Black Widow that kept her on your mind. It was a little nerve-racking. Ever since your diagnosis, you’ve sworn off relationships. It leads to more heartbreak in the end. “Wanna watch Moana?”

“We can watch whatever you want, buttercup,” she giggled and pressed play. It was a movie you’ve seen a lot. Hell, your lifelong dream was to live on a sailboat which you did until you got sick.

“Mind if we join?” Pepper asked as the opening song was over. Her daughter hushed her, not taking her eyes off the screen. You smiled, ruffled her head, and nodded at the CEO, who sat next to you on the couch. Tony slid next to Morgan, grabbing her legs and putting them on his lap.

Moaa was probably in your top 5 favorite animated movies but it was getting harder and harder to keep your eyes open to follow the plot. “Hey,” Pepper whispered. “Do you want to go to bed?” You shook your head, not wanting to get up or move Morgan off of you. But your eyelids became heavy and soon your head fell onto Pepper’s shoulder. You were too weak to fight sleep as it called your name.

*    

The weight of your head falling onto Pepper’s shoulder startled her and she tried to keep her body from jumping so she wouldn’t wake you. You didn’t. “Do you want me to move her?” Tony asked. Pepper shook her head.

“No, she’s perfectly fine.” She meant it. When was the last time you allowed yourself to lean on the shoulder of another? Jessica Easton died in 2018, a few months before the Blip. That was 6 years ago. The case remained open. It was another layer to have you bare alone. So you could rest your head on her shoulder as long as you wanted, she didn’t mind.

*   

“I have a meeting with possible investors,” Pepper said, looking at her tablet.

“I’m waiting for a video call from Bruce,” Tony poured coffee into the mug. You rolled your eyes as you filled up your water bottle from the fridge and poured an electrolyte mix into it. It was important to stay hydrated during your chemo sessions. The couple have been going back and forth for 20 minutes on who would be going with you to your appointment. However, it appeared that being Iron Man and the CEO of one of the biggest companies meant busy schedules.

“You know,” you said slowly and put the water bottle on the side of your backpack. Inside, was everything you needed to survive a long day at the cancer center; art supplies, a book, medication, lotion, and snacks lots and lots of snacks. “I can go by myself. I’ve done it before.”

“No,” they said in unison. You sighed, slumping down in the empty chair. Your appointment was at 0900 so you wanted to leave by 0830 to get there a few minutes early. They add to check your results from the blood you gave yesterday. Before every chemotherapy appointment, they needed to make sure your levels were good. 0830 was in 30 minutes and at this rate, you were going to be late.

“Everything okay?” Wanda asked, leaning onto the counter next to you. You sighed.

“Tony and Pepper don’t want me to go to my appointment alone but they are both too busy,” you explained the short-hand version of what was going on this morning. “So I’m just waiting.” She smiled.

“I can take you,” you looked at her in disbelief. She giggled. “I don’t have anything going on.”

“You're amazing,” you turned your attention back to the couple. “Excuse me?” They looked at you. “Wanda said she’ll take me. She’s a very capable adult and you let her watch Morgan,” you sighed when they remained silent. “Oh for goodness sake, I’m getting a needle stapped into my port,” you flipped open your jacket to reveal your tank top. It was March in New York City, it was a little crazy to be wearing a tank top but it made getting to your port easier. Everything went through your port, chemo and they could draw blood. It was easier than them having to run an IV every time. “It’s not like I’m having brain surgery.” You could see Tony thinking it through.

“Fine but you call me as soon as you're done and if there are any issues.” Amazing. Beautiful. You were half tempted to kiss Wanda for saving you.

“I will,” you grabbed Wanda’s hand and your blanket with the other. “See ya later. Bye!” You dragged the poor witch to the elevator, not daring to wait because they could change their minds. “Sorry,” you said told Wanda when the elevator doors closed safely behind you. “I did not want them to change their mind,” she laughed as the elevator moved to the subfloor of the tower. You adjusted the backpack traps and leaned against the metal walls.

“Are you nervous?” Wanda asked. You sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

“It’s not nerves,” you said. “The anticipation really like I’ve done this before but a knot still forms in my stomach, does that make sense?” You asked, looking at her.

“It does. I get the same feeling when I use my powers,” her fingertips began to glow red. “I know the feeling and what I’m supposed to do but my stomach still twists and turns.” Carefully, you reached out to touch her fingers that glowed. It was like a static shock; one moment you were standing in the elevator with Wanda and the next you felt as if you were in the car accident again. The screeching of tires. The piercing sound of metal against metal. And the screams of you and your mom. “Y/n,” you heard your name. “Hey, can you hear me?” You blinked, shaking your head slightly. You were standing in the corner of the elevator, gripping the handle. The doors were open and Wanda was standing in front of you. “Are you with me?” You nodded, licking your lips.

“Yeah,” you said, releasing the hold you had on the handle. There were indents on your palm from the metal. “I’m okay,” Wanda wasn’t convinced, the color was drained from her face making her green eyes pop. “It wasn’t your fault,” you assured her. “I shouldn’t have touched your magic without asking.” She sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

“Let’s get you in the car,” you nodded, allowing her to wrap her arm around your shoulders and lead you to the car. She opened the passenger door and you sat down.

“I feel like I got run over by an elephant,” you said. Wanda smiled and knelt in front of you. “I don’t remember the car accident,” you told her, playing with the threads on the blanket on your lap. “I just woke up in the hospital and I couldn’t answer any of the questions the police asked me.” You whipped away a tear that fell. “Could you help me remember?” You whispered. Wanda nodded, placing a hand on top of yours.

“I can,” your head snapped up to look at you. “But not when you are fighting this.” This was the cancer that was running rampant through your body. “It will be painful and I don’t think your mind or body is strong enough to handle it.” She was right. On your best days, you were lucky to not get tired before noon. “We should get going. Don’t want to be late.”

“Right,” you whispered, swinging your legs into the car and putting your backpack by your feet. Wanda closed the door and rounded the front to the driver's side. By the time she was in the car, you were buckled in. You were grateful that Tony, Pepper, and Wanda were adamant about going with you to your appointments but there was a nagging voice in the back of your head calling out to your mom. Why was she taken from you? Was it some type of punishment or test? Why was it her and not you?”

“Hey,” Wanda’s voice pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. “Stay with me, okay?” She offered her free hand over the center console. “Stay right here.”

“I’m here,” you promised, lacing your fingers with hers. She wanted you to stay in the present and not slip into the past. You squeezed her hand and held onto it the entire ride, a little afraid to let go.

*  

“Does that hurt?” Wanda asked as the nurse, injected the needle into your port. You were all settled in your little cubicle; a pillow behind your head and a blanket draped over you. Your water bottle, sketchbook, and book were arranged on the small side table how you liked it. Each one had a small TV, and a fridge and there was a kitchen for everyone to use. You never watched TV, content with listening to music and sketching. But now you had someone with you which was weird. You shook your head and thanked the nurse as she left.

“Nope, I put numbing lotion on it before we left,” you answered. “Now I wait.” Wanda looked around.

“And you did this by yourself?” You smiled, nodding at the witch.

“It’s not that bad,” she titled her heat at you, a clear indication she didn’t believe you.”Okay sometimes it gets lonely but the nurses are fun to talk to and I get some drawing done. Besides the double dosage days are the worst since they take forever.” You were given cytarabine and daunorubicin with a flush in between due to the chemotherapy possibility of damaging your kidneys.

“Can I get you anything? Or do anything for you?” You looked at your setup.

“Actually, can you go get me some tea from the common area? We passed the kitchen on our way in.” The witch nodded and journeyed into the kitchen. With a sigh, you picked up your phone and began to scroll through the social media. You liked scrolling through instead of posting yourself. Even though everyone said you needed to make an Instagram, it seemed like a lot of work but you tried to post every once in a while to keep your friends in DC posted. “Shit,” you mumbled when you stopped on a picture that was posted on Captain Mills’ social media page. You forgot your promise to Rebecca. Damn, chemo brain. You pulled up your text message and hit Henry’s contact.

‘Hey Captain, I need a favor. Call me when you free.’ 

*      

“That was a lot of fun,” you said to Wanda as you entered the tower’s lobby. “Thank you for coming with me.” She smile with the blanket you used in her arms. She admitted to helping you carry something. It was nice just talking with Wanda and learning about her through her stories and not the media. The media wasn’t kind to anyone, you’ve seen it grab your mom’s name through the mud. Especially with her case against the Liberation Front, an underground crime syndicate that ran up and down the East Coast. She was able to put one of their leaders Enzo Martinez in prison for life. The local media outlets and officials were not happy with her.

“I’m glad I could go. If you need me to go again let me know.”

“I will,” you hit the button for the elevator, and while you were waiting, you looked towards Rebecca’s desk. She was done helping someone and sat down at her desk. “Hold the elevator for me,” you called over your shoulder and jobbed over to Rebecca. She jumped slightly at your sudden appearance. “Hi.”

“Oh hi. Y/n, right?” You nodded. “I see your talk with Tony went well.”

“It did and all thanks to you,” you fished out a business card from your sweatpants and handed her the card. “A certain captain is expecting a phone call from you,” her hands shook as she took it. Her eyes darted from the piece of paper to you. “And if Tony gives you a hard time about the time off. Let me know, okay? Bye.” You ran back to Wanda.

“Thank you,” she called after you. You waved and stepped into the elevator.

“I’m starving,” you said once the metal doors opened the metal doors to the common floor. Skipping past the couch, you through your backpack on it and made your way to the kitchen. There was stuff in your kitchen but you were too lazy to cook and you were hungry now. You opened the fridge, humming to the song that was playing on the radio.

“Hello, Miss. Easton,” you glanced over your shoulder to see Vision, reading a book on the couch. “How was your chemotherapy appointment?”

“Oh hi Vis, I didn’t see you,” Wanda lay your blanket on the back of the couch. The android took the witch’s hand and kissed the back of her hand. Awe, they were cute. “I had food on the brain,” you turned to look back at the fridge. “But it was good. Wanda made it better.” You pulled out someone’s leftover pizza, you didn’t see a name on it and would deal with the consequences later. You ate the pizza over the sink, not wanting to dirty a plate.

“I thought chemo was supposed to make her lose her appetite,” you nodded.

“It does,” you said, covering your mouth while you chewed on pizza. “But they gave me steroids today to trick my body. I’ll be like this for like 24 hours.”

“What can we do to assist you?” Vision asked. That was such an odd question. What could they do to help you?

“Right now nothing,” you shrugged. “I’ll probably be eating all day.”

“Well I can make chicken paprikash,” Wanda said. “I think we have all the ingredients for it.” Your jaw dropped and a piece of pizza was about to fall out of your mouth.

“You know how to make chicken paprikash,” You said in disbelief.

“I would hope so,” she closed your mouth. “I am Sokovian.” That..made sense. “Sit and I’ll make it.” You did what you were told but not without grabbing a small bag of pretzels.

“There is a restaurant in DC that made chicken paprikash not as good as the one I had in Sokovia,” the witch froze and slowly turned to look at you. She blinked once, twice.

“You’ve been to Sokovia,” you nodded. “Before Ultron happened?” You nodded again.

“In 2014, I was 16 and my mom wanted to help with the war efforts,” you slowly ate the pretzel. “It was a beautiful country.” Your mom was hesitant to bring you with her to a war-torn country due to several attacks orchestrated by the US Air Force to try to stop the country’s political turmoil. This resulted in massive infrastructure and property damage, along with heavy civilian casualties. Besides all that, you found some of the kindest and most beautiful souls in Sokovia. She nodded, her green eyes swelling with tears. You couldn’t imagine losing the place you called home in such a horrific way. Vision joined Wanda’s side, offering a gentle hand on her back.

“Yes,” her accent was much thicker. “Yes, it was. Now,” she smiled. “Let’s get cooking.”

*        

“I’m a little impressed,” Natasha mumbled as she stood next to Yelena and Bucky. “Is that her third plate?” The blonde nodded as you finally took a break from inhaling Wanda’s cooking to take a sip of water.

“Stark is going to need to take out a loan if this is how she’s going to be every week,” Yelena rolled her eyes, slapping the soldier on his cheek.

“Please Stark could end world hunger if he wanted to,” the blonde said. The man in question walked over to you. It was a shock that the man was trying to be a father to you. Yelena was curious if he was going to help you or send you away. It was hit or miss with the billionaire. Yelena left her sister and boyfriend and walked over to the empty seat next to you. “Are you saving any for us?” She asked you. You giggled, whipping your mouth with a napkin.

“Yes, Blondie,” you smiled. “Wanda made a double patch.” Yelena chuckled.

“So, you’ll be eating all of our food for the next 24 hours,” Tony teased. You playfully rolled your eyes, the smile on your face growing.

“I think you can afford it.”

“I said the same thing!” Yelena laughed.

“Your old man has more money than everyone in this tower times two,” you spun around in your chair to see Rhodey and Maria. They must have just gotten back from DC.

“I’m surprised Stark doesn’t have more of you surfacing.” Maria joked. Yelena had that very same thought.

“How about we stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Tony asked.

“Eh, where is the fun in that?” You said, glancing over your shoulder. Tony sighed and filled a travel mug with coffee.

“Don’t tell her something you’ll regret,” the billionaire threatened his friend. Rhodey held up his hands in surrender as Tony headed toward the direction of Pepper’s office. Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“James Rhodes,” he introduced himself, extending his hand for you to shake. “Everyone calls me Rhodey.” You smiled and shook his hand.

“Maria Hill,” the brunette said. “Nice to put a face to the name.” You shook her hand as well.

“The old man likes talking about me I see,” you smiled. Yelena thanked her sister with a smile as Natasha handed her a plate. The rest of the team filled in to get their food and sat around the dining room table. You sat next to Yelena, only bringing a glass of water to the table.

“Not every day a stranger pops up and says you're his kid,” Natasha sat down in the empty chair next to Yelena. “Cut him some slack.”

“Hey, no hate,” you smirked, taking a sip of your water. “I am pretty amazing.” Your comment got a few chuckles from around the table. The Black Widow was sure she heard, ‘She really is a Stark.’ But Yelena scuffed and rolled her eyes. “You got something to say, Blondie?”

“Blondie?” Maria questioned. “What the hell kind of nickname is that -” Before the agent could reveal her name, Morgan rounded the corner and excitedly yelled out your name. It was the only warning you got before the 4-year-old jumped on your lap.

“Mommy and Daddy said you had to go to the doctor today,” Wanda appeared with a small plate with chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. Yelena was a little jealous of her mac and cheese but you waved the witch off when she was about to take Morgan to her seat. “Do they give you a lollipop? My doctor always gives me a lollipop.”

“I did and I didn’t get a lollipop,” the young girl gasped at your confession. Yelena began to eat her dinner but she couldn’t help but watch you interact with your half-sister. “The doctors had to make sure I stay nice and healthy so I can keep playing with you.” You tickled her sides which caused her to squeal and giggle. The sound brought a smile to Yelena’s face but it tugged at her heart and made her stomach drop. Of course, you were good with kids, what couldn’t you do?

“Are you healthy? Daddy said you were sick,” her simple question caused the table to get quiet. Yelena saw you cringe at your choice of words that led to this question.

“You know my mom used to say you can get stronger and stronger every day but you have to eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese,” you snatched some of the food off her plate. “You wouldn’t mind if I..” you trailed off as you slowly brought the food to your mouth. Morgan gasped and took it out of your hand.

“My chicken nugget,” she said.

“Well eat your dinner before I get hungry again,” you smiled.

“I would listen to her,” Yelena teased. “She’s got a big appetite. I’m surprised she hasn’t eaten all of our food.” You stuck your tongue at her. Morgan got comfortable on your lap and began to eat her food, not realizing you failed to answer her question. Your eyes locked on with Yelena’s and the blonde tried to silently ask if you were okay. You offered her a small smile and focused back on the conversation that was taking place at the table. Yelena wondered how much Tony told his youngest. Did she know that her newest friend was a little more than ‘sick’?

*    

Was it a mistake to leave one of his best friends with the girl who he just learned was his daughter? Probably but he needed to talk to Pepper before he lost his nerve. Quietly, he opened the door to her office and saw that was wasn’t on the phone. “For you,” he said, handing her the coffee he made; no sugar, a dash of oak milk, and either caramel or French vanilla syrup. She took the coffee and eyes him cautiously.

“What did you do?” Pepper asked. Tony gasped, sitting in the chair in front of her desk.

“Why do you think I did anything wrong?” He asked, crossing his right leg over his left. “Why can’t I, as your husband, bring you, my beautiful hardworking wife, coffee?” The CEO stared at him, slowly taking a stop of coffee.

“Caramel,” she said. “My favorite. So, what’s wrong?” Tony sighed, picking up a spar pencil on Pepper’s desk. He twirled the writing device around his fingers.

“I ran the few tests we have and there is one match.”

“Who is it?” She asked. Oh boy. It was now or never.

“Morgan,” he glanced at his wife. To his surprise, her face remained stoic.

“Have you told Y/n yet?” Tony wasn’t expecting that question or this reaction. He had half the mind to wear his Iron Man suit for protection.

“No, you're the only person I’ve told,” he leaned forward. “How are you not freaking out about this? I’m freaking out.” Pepper sighed, closing her laptop. She rested her elbows on top of her desk and folded her hands.

“I figured it was a possibility, especially with what Vision said.” Right. The android said there was a 1% chance for a parent to be matched and 50% for siblings. Of course, Morgan was more likely to be a match.

“What do we do?” Tony asked and stood up. “If we don’t let Morgan help her-” his voice trailed off.

“Then she’ll die,” she finished his sentence. “But are we going to subject our daughter to an intense procedure? I read about it, it can be incredibly painful.” Tony read about it too. It is why he prayed to whatever deity that would listen that he would be a match. Subjecting his youngest to that wasn’t ideal. But you were fighting cancer. “And you did say her medical team does have a plan B.”

“But it’s not a guarantee it will work,” he said, leaning the palms of his hands against her wooden desk. “So, what do we do?” He asked again.

“We talk with Y/n,” she answered, placing her hands on top of his. “Ultimately it’s her choice.” Your choice. Your choice and your life hung in the balance.

_

Taglist: @likemick, @averagetmblrusser, @@wandaromamoff69

[edenshiba]

Meeting Him Again

Character: Jesse x Fem! Reader

Summary: Your ex, (or so you thought) has been released from prison. How will you react when you meet him again?

Warning: none

Note: Hi! This is my first fic here. I’m not a native speaker so my English is kinda shit. Anyway, I never find any Jesse fic. This man need some love. Naoto play this character too well. I love him.

___________________________________

You were young and dumb. Your 19 year old self was too happy to date a man of your dream. He is older than you, by 3 years but he is very attractive.

He is short, but that doesn’t matter. Both of you almost the same when it came to height. He got a very beautiful smile, a bit arrogant, reckless and know how to fight. You was over the moon when he asked you out.

The night was young when you both decided to ended your date with a kiss. An innocent peck turns into heated make out session and both of you ended up on your bed the next day, naked with only plain blanket covered your body.

The next thing you know is you are his.

Jesse was the man that you always wanted. Even though your relationship with him is toxic, you ignored all of the obvious red flag. One of it when you watched him beat a guy half death just because he looks at you the wrong way.

You thought that it was normal, having a very possessive and caring boyfriend.

His friends are cool, the small hip hop group called Mighty Warrior. Ice, the boxer who are a good rapper used to be your close friend and always there whenever you hang out with them at their hideout. Bernie always show you how to make a fire beat whenever he was doing their new song.

9, not much but that guy is cool and fun to be with. Aside from his questionable hair cut, you found his presence comforting. He thought you how to do freestyle rap and sometimes you guys always tried to make your own song. Doesn’t matter how shit you are when it comes to rapping and singing.

That was until he got caught by the police.

You was there, the day the police came to your apartment to arrested him. Both of you just cuddling on the sofa and your bell rings. You thought that it was the delivery guy until you saw their uniforms.

Jesse didn’t tried to deny the allegations and then he was brought to Rasen. It took you two months to realized how toxic and abnormal your relationship’s are. If it wasn’t for your friends, you would have gone crazy and still in denial.

It’s been years since that day and honestly, you are recovering and stronger than before. You picked up new hobbies and signed up for a music class with your friend. You already graduated from University.

Years of studying your ass off finally paid off. You graduated with perfect CGPA and the best thing is you are free from student loan and debts. You didn’t get to University with scholarship. You worked as a bartender at Club Heaven that belongs to the White Rascals. Your boss is the greatest man alive.

“Don’t forget tonight. We need to celebrate.” Your friends said before waving.

“ I know, I know. Funk Jungle right?” You confirmed for the last time before walking away.

Time flies, it’s been six years.

You entered the taxi before giving the driver your address. You put on your headphones and play a song. You decided to take a nap before arriving at your house.

You changed your apartment three years ago and your new one is 20 kilometres away from your campus. It is far but you usually ride your bike to the Uni but today you felt lazy. You sent your bike to the repair shop since you need to change the oil.

___________________________________

Night come, you decided to wear a short skirt and plain white top and green oversized jacket. You pick your Doc Martin boots before heading out from your apartment.

Your friends already waiting downstairs with their boyfriends. One of them owns a limousine so they decided to pick everyone up before going to the club. You don’t know much about the new club but they say that the rappers are good.

They got myriads of good songs and dance battle at the end of every song.

By the time you arrives at the club, numerous sports car and people outside. The music is so loud that you can hear it from outside. After get your id check by the bouncer, all of you finally get inside.

The neon lights blinded you for a second before you catch the glimpse of the rapper at the stage. The people their jumping, dancing and some drink a lot. You can’t lie, this club is way better than the one that you work at.

Well, they didn’t have any dress code so that’s why they are the best. Oh don’t get you start on the ambiance of the club.

The lights, the music.

Real heaven.

“I’m going to drink. Just dance.” You said before they get to drag you away.

While walking, you get to see a woman drinking with numerous guy by her side. All of the men pass out one by one. That scene made you smile.

“Mind a new drink partner?” The woman didn’t say anything. She signals the bartender to grab another glass.

As the guy pour you the liquor, both you and the woman clink the glass before chug it. Your brows furrowed. That was strong.

You didn’t realize how many glasses that you have drink. Your head felt light but you kept drinking. The next thing that you know, your friends drag you away from the bar and all of you dance together.

“See something that you like?” Jesse turned his head to the guy.

Ice handed him the drink that he just poured. Jesse took it before chugging it down. His eyes still looking at you.

“I heard she move away. Can you believe it?” Ice hummed at the man’s word.

“Do you still like him bro?” Jesse smirked.

“We never broke up.” He reminded him.

Ice snorted at his reply. He know damn well what his friend would do to you.

“You should visit her. After all, she’s your girl bro.” He patted the man’s shoulder before went and sit with Sarah and the others.

Jesse smirked at the idea. By the time he walk out from the Sun King, he thought you would be there, waiting and welcoming him back after been away.

How dare you move away.

How dare you ran from him.

___________________________________

Your laughter can be heard all over the house. Thank god you went to the club with friends and not alone. You drank too much alcohol and your friends need to drop you at your house early.

After drinking a whole 1.5 litre of water and two aspirins, you finally in your right mind. At least you can walk and converse like a normal person.

“Remember to call me tomorrow (y/n). We need to shop for the clothes.” Rika, your friend reminds you.

“ I know. Now go away your boyfriend is waiting.” You finally kick her out.

You take of your boots before putting it aside. You took of your jacket and throw it on the floor. By the time you flick the lamp switch, your screams filled the living room.

“ I miss you bunny.”

You grab the nearest thing that you can get your hands to. Jesse gave you his killer smirk before getting closer to you.

“ Don’t! Don’t move!” You warned him, while still holding the flower vase that you grabbed earlier.

Jesse holding his hands up, playfully trying to get near you. He knows that you would never throw that vase to him.

You are speechless. How? How the hell did he knows your house?

How can he be here? He should be in prison.

“You should be in Rasen.” You muttered.

He shrugged his shoulders and before you get to do anything, he already standing in front of you, taking the vase and put it away.

“ I’ve been released yesterday. And I thought that my girlfriend should be in front of the gate, welcoming me.” He grabbed your cheeks with his right hand.

“I am not your girlfriend!” You snarled at him.

Suddenly the grip became strong. Your jaw tighten and your hands tried to push him away but didn’t succeed.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself yet bunny.” He said.

He pushed your body to the couch before caging you. His hand play with the loose strands of your hair before sniffing it.

“This is better than I imagined.” He muttered.

He planted kisses around your neck before going to your face. The kiss ended on your lips.

“Pack your bag, I’ll come and get you tomorrow. You better behave or I’m going to be very, very mad.”

His breath fanning your neck. He kissed your forehead before walking to the door.

“ Don’t run bunny. I’ll hunt you down.” He reminded you before closing the door.

After he left, tears streaming down from your eyes. Fucking!

Six years, for six years you tried to change and when you finally be the better version of yourself, he came back.

You wasted six years preparing for this day to come but at the end, you still cant win against him.

You kept making the same mistake. Oh how you wish for today to be different.

[evaiskindaweird]

Inspired by @locution-youngster-enjoyeras cuz their awesome so I'm doing it w Tim n Sally (They're married but it still counts)

(Some suggestive stuff)

BOTH 🗣🗣🗣

they don't argue. Their Tim and Sally 😤💅 (if they did, it'd be smth silly like what's the best ice cream flavor)

Tim, he wouldn't go 15 minutes without crying (Sally would be crying she'd just hide it more lol)

They sew together :] Tim makes lovey lovey messages and Sally makes clothes for Tim to try on

Sally usually drives, they do rock paper scissors for the front

Sally. Girlboss and malewife duo

Darling, Love, Honey, every nickname imaginable

they proposed at the same time!!

Tim. He knows any and ALL radio songs. Nobody knows why lol, but sometimes Sally joins him if she knows the song

Tim worries about what people think too much

Sally and Tim take turns taking pictures :]

Tim! He's a silly jokester, Sally always laughs at his jokes even if they suck pure ass 😭😭

Tim. Like I said, he knows all songs for some reason. He's a music lover 🎵💖

Sally! Sometimes she orders for him without him even deciding yet lmao

Tim lol

Sally. like tell me this queen wouldn't top (on rare occasions Tim does)

Sally :]👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏾

Tim :] 👫🏾

Sally. Like this queen will start a make out w her husband in like half a second

Tim is basically ticklish everywhere lmao

Tim will find a racoon near the trash and try and name it Rachel

they hold it TOGETHER RAHHH

they would never 😤😤

they both love bugs they wouldn't hurt a fly

Tim will wake up and wonder what a dream meant lmao

Sally, shes constantly cold

Sally has to go to work, so she wakes up at like 5am to get ready

Also Sally. Girl is NOT an early bird like her husband

If Tim is up earlier enough or Sally doesn't have work, they both make each other coffee

Tim will cry over anything

He got scared over an ARTICHOKE. That's all i need to explain.

They give each other haircuts! That they occasionally butcher but it's ok

Tim, this man will buy an entire bouquet and a poem too 😤😤💖

Tim. When they first started dating he immediately told everyone he knew like a girl writing in her diary

they are like the perfect couple everyone loves them

Sally, and occasionally Tim

For the both of them, they either make the best tasting meal ever (the way Sally was looking at Tim making the dinner in "dinner or consequences" lmao), or they make something like beans a la botsford or sum shit 😭😭😭

Sally! she knows like 20 ways to style it too

Tim. he has a whole ass book on pickup lines

Sally. No comment

Tim's jokes and pickup lines (like in "road rage, anger, and fury" when he said the ice skating would be "cool") make Sally giggle so much

Tim. He has sum sad issues but Sally always manages to cheer him up :] I also headcanon Sally can't function without her job is cuz she feels she needs to earn approval, so Tim makes sure to shower her w compliments so she knows she's important no matter what

"I am willing to trade all this cool stuff for my wife back" -Tim in The rise of miss power

Also from TROMP: "Do do do do do, Tim Botsford!"

Sally. She has an angels voice when she actually tries

Tim gardens, doodles, anything, really. Sally works, and sometimes does arts and crafts

I headcanon Tim's mom died (😔), so every year on her death anniversary he takes it really hard. To the point he can't function sometimes and just lays in bed.

Sally always tries and cheers him up, and helps him mourn by comforting him if he isn't in a cheering up mood

[hello-from-nrc-infirmary]

Valentine's Bonus Special: Stravi's Journal

tw & cw: mentions of death

This will be bittersweet... normally I'd have a divider here but I maxed them below (oops)

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Pg. 1

My Sunlit Ivy,

You have been asleep for a week now and your soft laughter haunts my dreams. I find myself thinking of everything I should have said and things I wish to tell you.

At Cliff's recommendation, I'm writing in this journal for you, like all the letters and postcards I've sent. That way, when you wake, you can catch up on everything you missed! I'm sure how I addressed you at the top will come as a shock, but I believe it to be correct and mean it fondly.

Today, Cliff visited and informed me that a medical mage from Port O' Bliss has been sent for. Everyone is hoping she can help. Victor stopped by to bring groceries and to check in, I'm grateful for his short visits. I also appreciate Folia for taking Shirley on daily walks. I will take that time to write.

Your rosebud, Stravi

Pg. 2

My Sunlit Ivy,

The medical mage from Port O' Bliss arrived late last night. She's an interesting woman I recall from when a few in my former troupe needed assistance. She told us that your body has forced you into Deep Sleep to try and regenerate itself. However, she's not sure when you will wake, or even if you have enough magic to repair the damage and sustain yourself. She's given you two years at most to wake up.

I know my magic is weak next to yours but I'll do what it can. I don't know if you can hear them, but hopefully my songs will help supplement your magic, even just a fraction.

I'm sure you're wondering why I said my former troupe. Well, I promised I would stay, didn't I? I can hear your thousand and one protests even as I write. I know names mean a lot to you, so I swear to you on my name, that I have no regrets.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Nov. XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

The first winter storm has settled in. How did you manage with the cold? I'm doing my best to use the firewood sparingly, just in case, and am following the instructions Cliff gave me. I hope you can't feel the bite of winter like this. I also pray you'll forgive me for sharing the blankets to keep us both from freezing.

Folia has taken Shirley in for these cold months, promising to watch over her Deep Sleep. They told me you would already be asleep at this time. Hibernation is foreign to me.. Are your dreams spun of sugar? I hope they are peaceful. You deserve that.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Jan. XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

The sun was out today and it deceived me. I always thought that would mean a warm day, and here I am still a icepop. I went to town while I could for more supplies and Cliff's family gave me some spare firewood. The day is short, and they know it better than I do. I would have chopped the wood myself, otherwise. I appreciate their assistance.

Everyone was asking about you, they're all concerned. Do you realize how many people care for you? The children wanted me to give you some pictures to make you feel better. I'll put them on the wall for you to see when you wake.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Feb. XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

My grasp on what it means to go stir crazy is made clearer. I saw Victor today, he wanted to know if you showed any signs of improvement. Which, there is none. Your pulse is still terrifyingly low, though I was informed that is expected.

I'm not sure what to do. My entries grow short with the season, as I don't see many people because of the harsh weather this year. Victor tells me it's because these mountains are crying out for you. They are yours to care for, afterall.

I can't hear the same as you or the other sprites. You can hear my songs like this, right? Your hair is still gray, I hope it becomes green with the spring

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Mar. 20

Happy Birthday, My Sunlit Ivy,

Today is supposed to be the first day of Spring. However, it seems Victor and Shirley managed to whip up a blizzard. While comical, it makes my heart ache. This should be a joyful time of year, yet I find myself struggling to feel any mirth.

Little Peter wanted to give you his winter project. He worked very hard and I can see the time he spent in the details, I believe Franz assisted. I placed the figure over the mantel.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

April. XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

I wish I had better news for today. It seems, the blizzard lasted longer than expected. The town is still working to dig itself out. It seems Gin's luck finally ran out on him. I say this in an attempt to ease my own grief.

The details make my belly churn, so I will only leave the summary. It seems he didn't make it back to town in time when the blizzard set in. They believe he consumed too much giggle water and lost his balance, falling into the river.

He deserved better than that. They let me keep his deck of cards, they're drying by the fire. I worry I neglected the relationship he and I had. Everything feels as though it was my fault and...

I can almost hear you telling me it was out of my hands. I wish you could be the one to comfort me, but I will bear this for you.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Oct XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

Today, you scared me. I know it's normal for your heart rate to be reduced in Deep Sleep and yet... yours stopped for a full minute.

It has been a full year now and I find myself thinking about what ifs. What if you never wake? What will I do then?

I dare not breathe these thoughts into the air in fear they will come true. Yet, I will admit in these pages that I would stay here. I will keep the promise our lips sealed even if you never wake.

You were the first to see me as more than a pretty face, more than my unique hair and strange eyes. The songs I wrote for you bring me the most joy. I swear to sing them for you for eternity, if you'll have me.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Dec. XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

The winter has been ruthless. Snow has blocked the door, it's almost to the roof. I hear there's illness spreading in town and many fear it's because you have yet to awake. Perhaps this land is cursed without you? I should not entertain that. Forgive me, it seems this sense of gloom has gripped my heart tightly.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Jan. XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

Today, I have more unfortunate news. While there has been a break in the near constant blizzards, it seems a number in town have perished. Our dear friends Sasha, Franz, and their youngest among them. They say little Peter was found crying for them, he is not doing well. Fever has consumed him and they're doing what they can.

The nature here is truly... well, there's a majesty to how insignificant it makes me feel.

Your Rosebud, Stravi

Feb. XX

My Sunlit Ivy,

The snow has let up, the sun is finally trying to show a glimmer of good fortune. Your hair has become green again. I can't help but feel I will hear your voice again soon, perhaps even see sunlight shimmer in your eyes. If I could, I would trade anything to have your soft laughter fill my ears again. The memory of it has faded and my heart aches for the joy of it.

I plan to visit Cliff, Shirley, Folia, and Victor to inform them of your improvement. I'm sure they will all be overjoyed at the news

Your Rosebud, Stravi

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Tagging: @night-raven-miscellany @nrcbookclub I know you wanted to read this!

[now-notyet]

1, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, and 100 :D

Wherever I Go - Jacob Collier ft. Lawrence & Michael McDonald - #1

I was very much anticipating the release of Djesse volume 3, and while I am one hundred percent sure this isn't my actual top song and Spotify messed with my stats this year, it's a solid listen. Experimental as all Jacob songs tend to be, it's a zany banger about remaining connected whenever you're apart, and the pain of missing someone is really well illustrated by three band kids screaming in three part harmony. Since this is my half alive blog, I'll link it to this; if you liked Brighton off of LP 2. Conditions of a Punk, you might like this.

Did I Make You Up? - Acoustic - half alive - #10

I love, love, love whenever we get an acoustic drop, and this one just happened to be on Spotify, so I got lucky and happened to listen to it at least 6 times a day. To be entirely honest, I was a little worried about it being a guitar acoustic set with this song as my favourite part of original DIMYU? was the little piano melody that runs through the chorus, but it translated super well into an addictive little guitar melody instead.

Call Back - half alive - #20

Just a fun, easy going, maybe slightly sad song that we don't need to talk about ramifications of. Everyone knows I love Josh Taylor, and they gave me 3 of him, in one song. At the same time. Certified cruising down the motorway banger - end of story.

Steppin' To The Bad Side - Deluxe Package Edition - Cast of Dreamgirls - #30

Past my secret little musical theatre sideblog, and the stuff I get up to when I'm not writing secret little theories about my favourite band on Tumblr dot com, I don't really talk about how much I love Dreamgirls and musical theatre as a whole. This is my favourite song from it, and though Jimmy Early isn't my dream broadway role (Effie is), this song is a genuine banger, especially the latter portion where they let Eddie Murphy take the role away. Far and away, his performance in this film is his best performance on screen, and it needs to be spoken about more. It is such a shame he didn't win any awards for this role, because he deserved them. Once again, this is my half alive blog, so if you like Automatic, of off LP. 3 Persona, you might like this.

Vanilla Curls - Teddy Hyde - #40

It is always such a treat when I am allowed to listen to a Teddy Hyde song; they are always so thick with imagery and he is a master on keys. Though I will gladly sit and talk about the man behind the song - and am thoroughly awaiting the newest album which appears to be releasing this Friday, I need to give this song its flowers. Vanilla Curls touches on the feeling of falling and being tangled in love with someone, but not a true, genuine love, more the puppy love of sitting barefoot on the grass and looking at the stars. It is a beautifully romantic ballad, with just a hint of something terribly, terribly wrong, and Teddy Hyde does an amazing job on the classical instrumentalisation of it. Everything is layered for a beautiful Sunday morning listening experience. If you liked Songs off of LP 3. Persona, you might like this one.

RUNAWAY - half alive - #50

Without going into too much detail, 2024 was a whirlwind and kept to the tempo of this song far too often. In those moments it was very useful to be reminded that I didn't need to rush into what I was trying to do, and that taking things at the pace they were being given to me was okay. Things didn't go to plan, but Now, Not Yet, did a fabulous job of keeping me right where I needed to be, and 5 years past its release is still as timely and relevant as the day it dropped.

When I Get There - Peter Cottontale w/ Jamila Woods, Grace Weber, Jack Red, Jamilah Woods, Jon Batiste, Maurice Brown, PJ Morton, Jeremih - #60

I am not a Christian, but I am black, and Gospel music is so firmly entrenched in our culture, so it's no surprise this ended up on my wrapped. It is meant as a celebration of life after death; the 'There' referenced is Heaven - and this is lovely imagery that I won't deny. Since I do not personally believe, it's not the imagery I ascribe to the song, and I just love the feeling of people singing and celebrating something together. And the fact it features so many incredible black artists I listen to independently isn't a bad thing either. I truly don't believe there's any equivalency for this one, but give it go! It's delightful.

Stronger Than You - Estelle - #70

Am I outing myself as a Steven Universe fan? Yes. Am I ashamed? Only a little a bit. Does this song still bang 4 years after the end of the show? Abso-fucking-lutely. It is a song about love, but the power of mutual love. The metaphor itself is more ham-fisted than the regular subtleties of half alive but it is a powerful reminder of both love for another person making you strong and lifting you up, as well as self love - 'I am Made of Love' is something I tend to forget, so the lyrical reminder that my love is stronger than hate really tends to resonate with me. There is no equivalency with a half alive song, but ok ok tend to project the same image or feeling.

Nothing Has Changed - The Polar Boys - #80

This song entered my rotation in October and hasn't left since. It's a delightful run of surf rock mixed with a disgustingly poignant depiction of nostalgia and missing someone. It's a song you can break down over and break dance to, and the bass is loud enough to be incredibly addictive without overpowering the mix. It's almost anthemic, especially with the building outro, and anyone who knows my musical tastes knows I love it when multiple people are singing at the same time. If you liked Lie, Lie off of LP 3. Persona, you'll love this.

So Damn Fast - Lawrence - #90

Lawrence got a LOT of hate this year, which sucked, because I was on TikTok for all of it. That being said, it doesn't take away from the listening experience of their first EP, Homesick. This, being my favourite song off of it, is a refreshing take on NYC Soulpop without being too poppy. I am outing myself as Lawrence fan (though the newest LP isn't my favourite). This song just gives great Randy Newman vibes, and is a good sing-along song to me. It's hard to describe, but it's just good.

Pocket - Louie Zong, Brian David Gilbert, Jeff Liu - #100

Finally, a little bluesy jazz moment from my two favourite internet microcelebs and an incredible instrumentalist. It's a great song to just lose yourself in and sing like you're in a hazy blues bar, and past the deeply metaphorical lyrics, the instrumental break in the middle is just a fun time.

I hope this is adequate enough description without being verbose! My only wish would be that there was more Persona on my wrapped but unfortunately that is the curse of dropping an album at the end of the year... :(

[whatever-lmaoo]

Alright sorry this took me a MINUTE

My tats in no particular order:

1.“We’ll be alright” in harry styles’ handwriting.

2.Imagine dragons signatures and lyrics (written by hand by them on my skin in 2012)

3.the signatures of the band 100 monkeys by hand directly on me (jackson rathbone’s band) wrapped in vines with 6 heart shaped leaves to represent each band member plus me.

4.jackson rathbone’s signature by itself with “memento mori” around it (once again, written on my skin. I only get autographs inked if i get them written on me. No copy/paste lol).

5.A poem by spencer bell.

6.The typewritten “Elvis Presley” on an old library checkout card of Elvis’, that’s on display at Graceland.

7.A “13” for john mayer— i saw him live for the first time on july 13 2013 after 13 years of waiting and trying to get tix.

8.a No-Face character from Spirited Away.

9.a little Totoro from Totoro.

10/11.Two dumb tats for exes. One is covered up and is now a coffin because he is dead to me.

12/13.Two lyric tattoos for matt duke: “it is my will to be left to the sea” and I honestly can’t remember the other one anymore because it’s on my shoulder so i never see it; it’s 12 years old and it’s too blurry to read anymore LOL.

14.a tiny lifesize ladybug on top of my arm/shoulder with it’s wings out ready to fly.

15.an Ernie Halter lyric on my thigh:

We are rising like the tide

We are falling like the sun

We are temporary dreams

like the dark before the dawn

We're here and then we're gone

16.Martina mcbride lyrics symbols on my left foot forbher song anyway (a music note, a tiny mountain, and a butterfly)

17.Three sparrows on my right foot

18.a portrait of Chester Bennington, lead singer of linkin park

19.A light bulb that is shining, with the linkin park logo as the inner wire of the bulb. It represents “one more light” going out, which symbolized chester’s death

20/21 i literally can’t remember. I’m scanning my body like WHAT DID I MISS????? It’s not like i removed them??? I’m too tired to go look in the mirror lol.

But seriously there comes a point when you get enough, that you forget some of them LOL. Especially when they’re not in a place you normally see on a daily basis.

The way you have so many that were written by the actual artists😱 You get cooler and cooler every day😍 also the coffin is so clever🫢

No because sometimes I forget the one on my arm is there and it takes up the whole space😭 also they were not lying when they said it becomes an addiction because when we finished I was like “I want another one🥹” but I didn’t get it cuz gotta save money 😩

[valandhirwriter]

20 Questions

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I came across this in @andordean blog and decided to invite myself to the party. As I have two Ao3 Accounts, my answers will list them as needed.

Taggig @do-androids-dream-ao3acc @regis-favorite-raven @lohrendrell @tumbleweedtech

How many works do you have on A03?

Valandhir: 11

Cardhwion: 40

What's your total A03 word count?

Valandhir: 1,249,377

Cardhwion: 644,842

What fandoms do you write for?

The Witcher, and Lord of the Rings. I would love to write for Star Wars, Dragon Age, Wheel of Time, but haven't gotten around to doing it yet. General Bel Riose brought the idea of Foundation writing on my to-do list.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Valandhir: Durin's Bane, The Twilight years, The heart of the journey

Cardhwion: Strange Blood, In my father's house

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, because I enjoy the conversation. But sometimes I forget, because there is too much going on, or I have no idea what I should reply.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Valandhir: Wishes are no horses or maybe Durin's Bane, the latter does only half-count because the next part, the Twilight Years changes something about the death at the end of Durin's Bane.

Cardhwion: In the darkest places, or maybe In my father's house. I just realise, I killed Eskel a lot.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Valandhir: The Heart of the Journey

Cardhwion: Song of the Dragon

Do you get hate on fics?

Yes.

Do you write smut?

Sometimes, I need characters that have that dynamic and need to be in the mood.

Do you write crossovers?

Haven't yet, but do have some in mind.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

As English is my second language, I did translate the whole Raven's Blade series on my Valandhir account into German myself. But only posted two parts. Would need a beta to read over it, to ever post it full.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, with @do-androids-dream-ao3acc, titled "The Unforgiven"

What's your all-time favourite ship?

That's a hard one, I love so many ships, and am a passionate multi-shipper. So a real favourite is hard. Coën/Erland of Larvik comes close.

As far as the sheer hilarity is concerned nothing ever beat Henselt/His throne.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Song of Stone on the Valandhir Account

What are your writing strengths?

Description and Detail I think

What are your writing weaknesses?

Emotions, romantic feeling

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Full dialogue I use rarely but having some arrogantly spit a line in Latin, or use a spell in Gaelic is fun.

First fandom you wrote for?

Three Musketeers

Favourite fic you've ever written?

The Raven's Blade series

[ultraviolet-ink]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @aawrightworth, thank you so much for this!! <3

How many works do you have on Ao3? 117, but I have four more on the roster due to @aaholidayrare!

What's your total A03 word count? 427,315 (OH WOW???)

What fandoms do you write for? Ace Attorney/Great Ace Attorney!

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1) Once Upon a Christmas (2019)- NRMT first kiss prompt 2) 12:26 AM (2019)- Forbidden Hospital Scene 3) The Talk (2020)- Greg notices that Baby Miles has a crush 4) Oh Shirt! (2019)- Phoenix can't find his shirt at Miles' place 5) Litigation in the Streets... (2021)- Miles and Phoenix become the subjects of tabloid gossip NGL, I'm not surprised that my top rated fics are NRMT, they're oldies but goodies! I've definitely grown as a writer (not to mention grown UP since these were all written when I was 18-20), but it really is lovely to see that they're still getting love! <3

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? OMGOMGOMGOMG!! Yes!! I love doing it because it lets the commenter know that I've seen their comment, and that I really do appreciate them! No matter how old a fic is, I will comment back as soon as I get that email, haha! In all seriousness, it's my way of giving back a kudos, a sort of "kudos to the reader" if that makes sense. They really do make me smile and I like to print out some of the comments that made me cry happy tears and save them in a scrapbook so that I can read them when writer's block hits me. Also, commenting brought my some of my greatest friends <3

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ohhh DEFINITELY I Dreamed A Dream (2022)!! Not only is the title from the Les Mis song of the same name (where Fantine's life is just absolutely ruined), but I did the one thing I never thought I would be able to do... I KILLED one half of the otp!! It's a RyuuSusa fic, and of course, Major Character Death, proceed with caution!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oooohhh this is a really hard one since I'm such a sucker for happy endings! I think the one that makes me the happiest now is from The Caterpillar Man (2022). It's a fic I wrote to sort of conceptualize Yujin and Susato's relationship when the former came home from the original study trip, and it takes place over a year and among other tragedies and growth. It's from the perspective of Susato, and I think it's one that still makes me tear up (and I got fanart based on it once!!)

Do you get hate on fics? I've never been John Phoenix'd which is very rude, am I not GOOD enough for you DaKoolGuy?? but in all seriousness, I don't really get hate on specific fics, but because I'm so vocal about a certain pairing (being Ryuu X Susato.... if I'm not supposed to ship, why game make so cute?)

Do you write smut? Not on Ultraviolet_Ink, but I do on Infrared_Quill! Fun fact, Infrared got put on a blacklist when I only had one work, and Ultraviolet wasn't on it, I found it quite funny XD

Do you write crossovers? The Journal of Dr. Yujin Mikotoba (2022-????) is just one giant crossover with ACD canon, and I'm planning on having Raffles and Arsène Lupin making an important appearance in the future! It's very self indulgent XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen? God I hope not

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge, but I do have a blanket statement saying that I am a-okay with a translation of any of my works!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? It's always been in the "omg we should totally do this" phase, but given how I am with my own works, I feel like I would be a nightmare to work with XD

What's your all-time favourite ship? Honestly... It's between HomuMiko and RyuuSusa, especially since that's just what I've been writing recently XD

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? That's a good question that I don't have a single answer for XD I have a notepad full of a WIP list, but I think one that intrigued me when I first started off was this sort of continuation of the JFA 2-4 bad ending, just kind of coming from the ashes and then De Killer eventually kills Phoenix for betraying Matt Engarde (just because of the principle). It's really interesting to think about, but I honestly don't know how I could workshop it, and I remember stopping because It made me too sad haha! If you come across this and like the idea, please feel free to adopt this bunny, no credit needed! I'm not the first person who came up with a continuation of Miracle Never Happen, and I'm sure I won't be the last!

What are your writing strengths? I think I'm getting a lot better at dialogue, especially since I have a very good friend who helps me workshop them through a sort of RP! I would say that I'm also good at making a sort of vibe/ambiance, I know how to dress a scene B-) (Yes I was a theatre kid)

What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue is also something I struggle a lot with, but I would say I get into my own head too much, and I over think and try to over explain to cover up "holes" (Cracked.Com owes me reparations for this)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'm a linguistics nerd, I love writing dialogue in other languages! I even wrote a fic entirely in Latin because I wanted to practice (Miles et Phoenix Romae Sunt (2021)). That being said, you have to use more than Google Translate, I've studied and majored in Spanish, so I'm confident enough in my own skill to write, but I don't really know German despite English being Germanic! So, while I do use Google Translate to get a base understanding, I try to run it by a native speaker, or at the very least, someone who has studied the language, to see if it makes sense haha. Or don't, I'm not your mom, and we're all just doing this for shits and giggles XD

First fandom you wrote for? ...... Oncest Those journals filled with Oncest have been burned since 2014 in the traditional "middle schoolers host a bonfire at the end of the year" that my friends hosted, and they will never see the light of day XD But then again..... how ba-a-a-ad COULD it have been? Tbh, I do regret getting rid of them, not because they were actually lost Great American Novels, but they were something I created and I could look back on and see how I've grown and what I've just stuck with over the years XD

Favourite fic you've ever written? It's honestly a tossup between The Journal of Yujin Mikotoba and The Caterpillar Man! I just love playing around with the empty playground canon left me haha

[mistpodfics]

Podfic Stats 2023 by MistbornHero. Included some covers I liked that had no reason to be put on the Stats page.

Descriptions & Links under the Read More.

Total Works: 152 Total Words: 207,838

122 solo works

9 multivoices (edited or produced by me)

13 multivoice roles (works where I participated in a voice only role)

2 not!fics

5 repods (which are also solo works)

1 filk

Total Time: 33 hours with 38 minutes. (Or, one day and 9 hours with 38 minutes)

Authors Podficced: 148

Fandoms Podficced: 56

Longest Chaptered Work: Like Fire in our Bones | +4 hours | Incomplete

Longest One-Shot Work: "Twin Flame" written by @insi | 1 hour 30 minutes

Shortest One-Shot Work: "Trapped" written by @melimegreenleaf | 56 seconds

All Time Totals & Comparison between each year

Total “Solo” Works: 420

2018 - 6 podfics

2019 - 21 podfics

2020 - 73 podfics

2021 - 60 podfics

2022 - 111 podfics

2023 - 152 podfics

Total “Solo” Works Time: 131 hours and 56 minutes

2018 - 1 hour and 34 minutes

2019 - 12 hours and 25 minutes

2020 - 21 hours and 12 minutes

2021 - 22 hours

2022 - 1 day and 16 hours

2023 - 1 day and 9 hours

Top 3 Ships:

CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi

Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya

Lucy Carlyle/Anthony Lockwood

Top 5 Fandoms:

33 | 9:17 hours | Star Wars

6 | 2:30 hours | Bungou Stray Dogs

11 | 2:00 hours | DCU / Batman

4 | 1:40 hours | One Piece

7 | 1:20 hours | Lockwood & Co (this could have been Zelda by 3 mins, but Zelda is only here from ITPE and L&Co is here by my own obsession)

Rating Divisions:

82 General

47 Teen & Up

7 Mature

3 Explicit

1 Not Rated

Category:

57 Gen

44 M/M

25 F/M

20 Multi

12 F/F

7 Other

Significant Works:

First: "in which Qui-Gon Jinn learns why he should not make Obi-Wan upset" written by MiriRainbowitz | @dammmithardison | 11 minutes

Last: "The Air That I Need" written by FunkyinFishnet | @dinomighty | 21 minutes

300th: "Explosion" written by yeaka | @yeaka | 9 minutes (I also got to 350)

Most Music: "Domestic Trappings" written by zombified_queer | @zombified-queer | 26 minutes (I know it sounds like 2ish songs, but I under-laid like 3 extra ones under it)

Most SFX: "Divide & Conquer" written by impersonal_villain | @impersonal-villain | 31 minutes (this might have been Death Wish if that fic had been longer lmao)

Most Kudos: "I've never made it with moderation" written by Trixree | @trixree | 3 hours and 11 minutes

Most Words In Top Ship: "Kill Me With Desire" written by jynx | @bluemaskedkarma | 1 hour and 12 minutes (I'm manipulating my stats to make this fic show up, yes)

Drabbles made: "its", "Trade Secrets", "After the Rescinding", "Cicatrix", "Not for Us", "Protection", "Reason to Live", "tea, milk & honey", "Infinite", "Looking Good", "Ruffled Feathers", "keep out", "string", "tri-confession showdown", "video game night", "Pull Me Closer", "Friends", "Skip", "The Unspoken Hour", "mi hijo", "Three", "Go Jump in a Lake", "Dia de muertos", "Trapped", "A Familiar Scent", "dream", "Fallout", "Olives", "Sound", "Spells", "not a third-wheel", "New Resolve", "A List of Ordinary Miracles", "Is That a Weird Cucco?", "Just a princess", "be the lightning in me"

[alasse-irena]

Top 5 albums?

Choosing favourite music is always very difficult for me, so consider this a list of "5 Albums I've Been Into Recently", rather than my Top 5 Of All Time.

The Decemberists - As It Ever Was, So It Will Be Again This is not technically new anymore (I think it came out last year?) but it is new to me still. I rarely love a song on first listen, so discovering a new album for me is a process of socialising myself to it gradually like introducing two cats to each other. It's still in that phase where I listen to it start to finish a lot slowly figuring out which tracks work for me and which ones don't. The final track is 20 minutes long; I never thought I'd say this but it's a cohesive 20 minute work and I think it's worth it.

The Beths - Expert in a Dying Field If you listen to the lyrics, this is definitely a break-up album, but it's also a fun pop rock kind of situation. Also the band is from New Zealand and they are my cousins across the sea.

Gang of Youths - Angel in Realtime I went on a weekend camping trip with my sister last year. We had two CDs we borrowed from the library in the car. I forget what the other one was (First Aid Kit, maybe?) but this is the one that remained in rotation for me. Fair warning, it is David Le'aupepe's grief album following his dad's death, so parts of it can hit pretty hard.

Hoa - soundtrack This is the soundtrack for a video game I've never played. I think it's some kind of puzzle platformer? idk. It's an incredibly soothing piano-focused soundtrack that I listen to when I'm doing physio exercises or trying to block out a Loud and Distressing Sound outside the window. The composer learnt classical piano and as his comrade-in-childhood-piano-lessons it really shows; I like that I can pick his influences as I'm listening.

King Stingray - For the Dreams King Stingray describes themselves as "Yolŋu surf rock", which I think evokes the vibes very well. My favourite track on this album is Lookin' Out, but it's also the one that was released as a single a year ago, so I think I'm biased by time and familiarity.

[mayapapaya33]

Sandman Hopes and Dreams

I know I'm getting way ahead of myself here but lets assume for a minute that netflix doesn't mess everything up and we have the completed show of our Dreams, What extra, non 1-75 material would you love to see on screen in a perfect world? Either incorporated into the show itself, or as a spin off tv show/ movie/ animated feature/ short/ Claymation/ Coraline-esque stop motion/ etc, whatever you can think of.

Personally, my biggest hope is that they do The Dream Hunters, either as a special episode in the tv show, or as an animated short film, using Yoshitaka Amano's art as inspiration. It's one of my favorite Sandman stories. I'm pretty sure they are already planning on doing Sandman Overture based on the little bits of set up they put in season 1 (And I really hope they incorporate J H Williams III's art style into that). I'm also almost 100% certain they are going to do the song of Orpheus, because... well duh lol. I think they could easily incorporate bits of Endless Nights into the show if they wanted to.

I don't know how you would translate those creepy drawings of Despair but they should try because they are fantastic. Perhaps through a rough, sketchy, jagged looking animation style? Just give us a weird, disjointed 5 minute animation of horror and Despair lol. I want it. And if they did Desire's story it would be a good way of seeing Desire in their element from an unbiased source divorced from any interaction with Dream. Because so far most people who have only watched the tv show probably think that Desire is just a villain when it's more complicated than that. (I would see that story as live action, it's very grounded in reality). And Dream's story might give some insight into their relationship dynamics, which would really help give depth to Desire's character. (could be live action with fun cgi elements, could be animated, hard to say, it's in space with a bunch of aliens and sentient suns, I'd love if they did most of it with practical effects though. It would totally give Star Trek vibes.)

You couldn't really do Delirium's story (or Destruction's) until the end of the show for obvious reasons, but I love it and hope they do it! I think of the stories Death and Destiny's are the least likely to be adapted mostly because they have the least plot relevance and least character relevance, They could draw on the art as inspiration for Destiny's garden, and I hope they do, because It's very pretty and Escher esque! (And Death has cooler stories to choose from). I could see them skipping or shortening Destruction's bit and adding it to the end of Delirium's story and making it one long piece. (I think Delirium's bit would lend itself to crazy animation imposed on top of real actors so we can see their hallucinations in the real world. Destruction's piece could be live action).

I'd love it of they did Death's stories onscreen, I know a Death movie has been in development "heck" according to Neil Gaiman for like 20 years lol (We could have had Guillermo del Toro as executive producer!!!!!!!) But they have a Death cast and ready to go and it's such a wasted opportunity not to do it with her. I'm assuming any movie made would be Death: The High Cost of Living. But I do dearly wish to see Death: The Time of Your Life onscreen as well. And again, the casting will already have been done, Foxglove and Hazel will (presumably) be in Season 2. So maybe they could do an extra special episode in the show somewhere with the plot of Death: the Time of your Life? (Both of these stories could easily be 90% live action with bits of cgi and other cool computer wizardry wherever necessary. Probably more cgi or animation for Death: the Time of Your Life for the bit where they're in the Underworld and for the zombie baby nightmare lol. (Am I remembering that right? It's been a minute since I read this story).

I've read most of the extra Sandman material Neil Gaiman himself has written but I haven't yet gotten around to exploring all of the stuff other people have written. Feel free to recommend reading material by the way! I don't care how obscure or how tangential to the Sandman universe it is, if you think it's great and want them to adapt it let me know what medium you think would best suit the story and whether it would suit a spin off or could be incorporated into the main tv show in a way that makes sense!

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

tagged by @doomednarrative!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

407, might go up to 408 today or tomorrow

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

730,184

3. What fandoms do you write for?

toku mostly, some bl, a few bromance dramas, maybe 2 or 3 dramas that don't fall into those categories

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

four out of five are explicit utsukare that's insane lmaoooo

Operation Get My Senpais Together (Cherry Magic, M)

drink in all of you, who is so special, (this moment shall pass so) let's take a #photograph

i need your touch (i have no doubt) i want your love until it all runs out, cause you're all that i've been dreaming of (is this just another song about love?) i need your voice i need your lips i need you bad (i wanna steal your kiss)

you're making Something out of Nothing and Jealousy's the Cousin, the cousin of Greed

take the Leap, I'll follow you, put your Hands here, pull me Through keep this way (down at the waist), there's no time to wait, take the Thoughts and let it go (Feel the rhythm, let it flow) Baby, I just want a taste

5. Do you respond to comments?

Almost always! If it's really weird goodbye, or just a natural stopping point in a thread

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably this one, tbh? i just could not see it ending happily no matter what i tried

WAIT I LIED.

this one <- ryuki fic about some of the canon deaths

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmm gonna go with my wred marriage fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Think the closest i got was a comment on a cherry magic fic asking me why i didn't think two fourze characters were together.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

yeah. once upon a time i was embarrassed to write it

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

CONSTANTLY MAN LMAO. uhhhhh probably the sukima suki/cherry magic one. iykyk and if you don't well i am not explaining

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

a few! mostly vietnamese, one chinese

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, just talking with people

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

probably wred, tbh

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i mean i PLAN to finish it but god it's like. so slow going for The Day Where the Pocket Universe That Keeps the Heroes' Weapons Disappeared because canon KEEPS CHANGING ON ME (screams in ooo ten year)

16. What are your writing strengths?

probably dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

descriptions of like. anything lmao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i did have this problem majorly for a ranger switch, so i did like

< bold > for english and > italic < for japanese, because the point was that they couldn't understand each other

19. First fandom you wrote for?

either hotel stars or 2moons2 i think.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

there's quite a few i reread but for now going with this one

tagging @incandescentflower @rosemirmir @flaim-ita @missmako-chan @plushie-sentai and anyone who wants to do it!

[mangowavves]

a mistake (spotify wrapped 2023 on steroids)

here's the top 100 from both of my accounts. and i mean both. i used two different accounts this year. meaning it's a top 187 :3

links will be supplied at the bottom in case you'd rather look at them that way

version one

1. ramen waitress - high sunn 2. hunter's moon - ghost 3. how to never stop being sad - dandelion hands 4. rats - ghost 5. ghuleh / zombie queen - ghost 6. the bug collector - haley heynderickx 7. nova scotia 500 - boyscott 8. ode to joy 2 - remo drive 9. per aspera ad inferi - ghost 10. where the sun sets - mars water 11. what a pleasure - beach fossils 12. seventeen (age) - mike krol 13. year zero - ghost 14. glass jaw - chokecherry 15. american spirits - inner wave 16. fifteen minutes - mike krol 17. kiss the go-goat - ghost 18. ever new - beverly glenn-copeland 19. visions - loving 20. dræm girl - no vacation 21. jigolo har megiddo - ghost 22. song for a guilty sadist - crywank 23. her sinking sun - coma cinema 24. lotus eater - foster the people 25. mummy dust - ghost 26. hospital beach - cottonwood firing squad 27. evergreen - richy mitch & the coal miners 28. what once was - her's 29. con clavi con dio - ghost 30. grade school love - mike krol 31. my blueberry life - current joys 32. clay pigeons - michael cera 33. call me little sunshine - ghost 34. the end - sisyphus 35. gnaw - alex g 36. i exist i exist i exist - flatsound 37. dance macabre - ghost 38. orgasm of death - the growlers 39. using - sorority noise 40. disco - surf curse 41. cirice - ghost 42. swing lynn - harmless 43. stress relief - late night drive home 44. boys - indigo de souza 45. jesus he knows me - ghost 46. red minivan - mike krol 47. blond hair, black lungs - sorority noise 48. smokey eyes - lincoln 49. twenties - ghost 50. ash in the sun - vundabar 51. kids - the frights 52. francis forever - mitski 53. square hammer - ghost 54. alien blues - vundabar 55. ***hidden track*** - prince daddy & the hyena 56. nostalgic feel - bedroom 57. faith - ghost 58. misty morning - travis bretzer 59. killing floor - subvision 60. fine, great - modern baseball 61. i'm a marionette - ghost 62. losing touch (nyc) - thanks for coming 63. make out song - the rosebuds 64. forever dumb - surf curse 65. monstrance clock - ghost 66. two weeks - grizzly bear 67. the gaping mouth - lowertown 68. art school wannabe - sorority noise 69. kaisarion - ghost 70. need 2 - pinegrove 71. you are going to hate this - the frights 72. velvet ring - big thief 73. ritual - ghost 74. rip van winkle - shannon & the clams 75. like a star - mike krol 76. i dreamt i saw you in a dream - sunbeam sound machine 77. watcher in the sky - ghost 78. maud gone - car seat headrest 79. natural disaster - mike krol 80. where'd all the time go? - dr. dog 81. griftwood - ghost 82. morning sun - dave bixby 83. glue - p.h.f. 84 idk - fake tides 85. stand by him - ghost 86. all alone - acid ghost 87. everything is going to hell - teen suicide 88. best supporting actor - good morning 89. spillways - ghost 90. cold weather - glass beach 91. woke up - olivia olson 92. heart attack - mike krol 93. from the pinnacle to the pit - ghost 94. nothing lasts - bedroom 95. enjoy yourself - saint pepsi 96. s.w.a.k. - luxary elite 97. crucified - ghost 98. resonance - home 99. 恢复 - 2 8 1 4 100. a sad song about a girl i no longer know - bedroom kites

version two

1. the village - wrabel 2. get fucked - mustard service 3. unlucky - lunar vacation 4. dancing through the telephone - the axidents 5. i think it might be hell - clarence james 6. common sense - benches 7. want me - baby queen 8. a portrait of - sorority noise 9. like or like like - miniature tigers 10. keep two-stepping - pretoria 11. smokey eyes - lincoln (48) 12. hanging from the ceiling - the velveteins 13. eventualities - daddy's beemer 14. card declined for pizza & wine - stevie dinner 15. fear of heights - daddy's beemer 16. why do you lie - the grinns 17. stay - buddah trixie 18. jesus he knows me - ghost (45) 19. demons - m.a.g.s. 20. shrek~chic - winona forever 21. why am i like this? - orla gartland 22. dogs - nouns 23. drought - carpool tunnel 24. where did my pets go? - furnsss 25. sea dogs & pyrite - soft cough 26. a.c.l. - the symposium 27. jaded - near tears 28. cowboy hat - sea ghost 29. typical - goodbye honolulu 30. nova scotia 500 - boyscott (7) 31. red minivan - mike krol (46) 32. like i care - noah nolastname 33. girls - girls in red 34. corpse - franky flowers 35. grade school love - mike krol (30) 36. dance with me - beabadoobee 37. dover beach - baby queen 38. lovesick - peace 39. like a star - mike krol (75) 40. sappho - frankie cosmos 41. colours of you - baby queen 42. too close - sir chloe 43. easy eyes - archer oh 44. strawberry milk - deep sea peach tree 45. art school wannabe - sorority noise (68) 46. pine point - pup 47. 27 club - strange case 48. blackout control - spendtime palace 49. kids - the frights (51) 50. where the sun sets - mars water (10) 51. the spins - mac miller 52. shred cruz - mom jeans 53. evergreen - richy mitch & the coal miners (27) 54. my only friend - lll spector 55. kim - joy again 56. don't delete the kisses - wolf alice 57. grass eater - the mellowells 58. call me - elevator fight club 59. if you want to - beabadoobee 60. lucid - rina sawayama 61. don't leave me (chapter 1: despair) - hmltd 62. buzzkill - baby queen 63. any other way - tomberlin 64. because i love you - montaigne 65. fever dream - mxmtoon 66. alaska - maggie rogers, toby green 67. i want to be with you - chloe moriondo 68. paper mache world - matilda mann 69. close to you - dayglow 70. telephone - waterparks 71. 14 days - floral tattoo 72. april - beach bunny 73. let's go - stuck in the sound 74. d'you have a car - swrms 75. soapbox sunday - courier club 76. dance macabre (37) 77. ode to joy 2 - remo drive (8) 78. star catcher - vansire 79. cut your bangs - radiator hospital 80. our window - noah and the whale 81. yer killin' me - remo drive 82. my own person - ezra williams 83. angel - lava la rue 84 clearest blue - chvrches 85. flirting with her - sir babygirl 86. heart - flor 87. what's it gonna be - shura 88. tired - beabadoobee 89. urbanangel1999 - thomas headen 90. knock me off my feet - soak 91. you are going to hate this - the frights (71) 92. nothing else i can do - ella jane 93. moment in the sun - sunflower bean 94. bang bang bang - lauren hibberd 95. imposter syndrome - sidney gish 96. natalie portman 2002 - jason is 97. nobody loves you - similar kind 98. i want to kiss you - the spook school 99. turtleneck sweater - marinelli 100. satan's hands - sexy girls

links for the impatient :3