#death blaming dean for godstiel (????)) but it's also about how cas used to be someone dean felt he could control and that's no longer true

[ananke-xiii]

SPN Comparisons with novels, tragedies, myths and other stories that I don't totally vibe with:

"Widower arc" and Romeo and Juliet: I feel like this one is a slippery slope. As I've said, I see the theme and the movie reference but I've found out a more compelling way to see that arc, a way that's profoundly related to Dean and Castiel alone which I find more interesting. Cause if you agree with the Romeo and Juliet of it all in "Advanced Thanatology" then you will also see it in "Red Meat" where we even have Billie as a reaper to complete the death theme. Which means you either acknowledge that both Sam and Castiel serve as Juliets to Dean's Romeo and/or acknowledge that Dean's suicidal tendencies have nothing to do with a specific character per se but with the idea that Dean can't find meaning in himself without someone else. And I tend to agree with the latter because, for instance, "Regarding Dean" is, to me, precisely about that: everybody is regarding Dean but how does he regard himself? I don't see the episode as sad as many people do, I think it's actually hopeful in the sense that Dean accepts the fact that he needs to work on himself, takes responsibility for his past and decides he wants to move on. It's a rather positive episode although it is bittersweet like every moment of growth is.

Romeo and Juliet is pertinent to Crowley and Dean as well: Juliet's Crowley's pet just like Dean was the domesticated "Queen" Crowley wanted to rule Hell with. A queen whose death he had a hand in and who resurrected transformed into the Queen of the Underworld, a title which Dean rejects. This time the association is indeed sad, just as Crowley and Dean's summer of love is. If the comparison must be done, spn writers seem to say, it will not be about the commercialized, uncritical romantic idea of love associated with the play.

Finally I don't like the comparison because Cas, Sam and Juliet the Hellhound (lol) didn't fake-die voluntarily, not just straight-up died to avoid something or escape from something. They unfortunately succumbed to their opponent and this is no small detail that can be ignored, imo ( I love symbols and evocative images but I am also a very literal person, I know, I am a living contradiction, blame my sun squaring my moon).

Castiel as Don Quixote: if anything Metatron is the kind of guy Cervantes makes fun of in the Don Quixote. It's him who uses literature as escapism and it's him who wants to write a story where he is the hero because he wants to walk in Cas' trenchcoat. Metatron's windmills were a bit more real because Heaven did have a beef with him, still he had to go ahead with that, admittedly funny, "X" façade that literally nobody asked for. Metatron implicitly comparing Cas to Don Quixote in s10 revelas more about him than Cas (Metatron was, after all, the main character of "Meta fiction", an episode where he literally creates illusions for Cas to believe).

s6 Dean and Cas as Orpheus and Eurydice: I don't see it at all. Apart from that one shot where Dean turns and Cas is still in the holy fire cycle the parallels don't parallel like at all. It's visually nice because it shows how Dean is still conflicted after everything they've been through and the whole Godstiel's arc will indeed change his relationship with Cas forever. But, like, I don't see Orpheus's myth at play at all.

Sam and/or Dean as Christ figure and/or sacrificial lamb and/or scapegoat: now this is where I have to come out as born and raised Roman Catholic cause this is all about redemption and salvation and, from what I've gathered, Protestants have it worse. I still need time to process all this but I suspect there is something at play that doesn't add up. Christ, lamb and goat all have in common one thing among many: the concept of sin. Specifically the concept of humans as sinful creatures that must be redeemed. Now, this is not Christ's sin or the lamb's, they act as conduit for the salvation of others. So here's my problem with these symbols in SPN: what's the sin in this story? I mean, the original human sin that must be redeemed? It seems to me that both Sam and Dean don't redeem other people, don't really save other people but themselves. They sacrifice themselves to redeem themselves of what they think it's their sin. It's, again, the family business: hunting things and saving people which basically means killing monsters and save people from death and apocalypse but not sin. How can one character be a Christ figure if all they(try/want to) redeem is only their own (perceived) sin? And how does a Christ figure prevent the Apocalypse while Christ himself very much brings it about? Is Apocalypse the sin? But then it's the angels' or god's sin, not the people's. Christ and the apocalypse are very much connected by the concept of resurrection but characters like Sam and Dean very much stop at the symbolical crucifixion/sacrifice aspect of Christ story. They went very close in s13 with the Second Coming of Sam Winchester via Lucifer's grace in Apocalypse world (!!!!) but it really stopped there.

Now I enter a story pov not a religious one but there is the whole "willingness" towards sacrifice that must be studied, really, cause no lamb or goat actually wanted to get killed (I personally would argue Christ too with the whole "my god why have you forsaken me"). They got CHOSEN and here we are again with the "destiny vs free will". Grrrr.

It seems to me that there's a certain "cult of death" at play throughout all 15 seasons of SPN which makes me think that I really need to get my hands on Eco's essays about heroism and fascism.

Okay my brain hurts now but I'm sure I've got more somewhere.

[autisticandroids]

DEAN: Cas, I just can't...

[youtube]

dean's perspective on godstiel arc. the way cas failed him. the feeling of abandonment. the obligation to control. affection for cas souring on his tongue as the imaginary idol he built in his mind shatters. the trials and tribulations of being the center of the universe.

that is not my lover and that's not even my friend.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 9x23: “Do You Believe in Miracles?”

THE ROAD SO FAR: Kicking ass, taking names. Ezekiel wasn’t who he said he was; he’s actually Gadreel, and he was working with Metatron. Metatron took Cas’ grace for a spell to cast angels out of Heaven. Abaddon. The Mark of Cain and the First Blade. Cas vs Metatron. Crowley was addicted to human blood. The Mark and Blade are affecting Dean. Metatron got Cas’ army to turn on him. Cas gave up his entire army for one man. Metatron’s power comes from the angel tablet. Dean is really going off the rails. Gadreel has come to help, Dean nearly kills him. 

(All set to “Carry on Wayward Son” by Kansas, as usual.)

Sam defending Gadreel. Who’da thunk it?

“Something is wrong with you, Dean. And until we figure out what, this is where you have to stay.”

“And you two are gonna do what? Take on Metatron yourselves? That's smart. Oh, no, wait. No, you -- you lost your Angel army. And you -- now you're trying to lock up the one guy who has a shot at killing the son of a bitch! Hell of a plan, fellas!”

OH YOU WANT TO BE A DICKHEAD NOW?

That gave me flashbacks to Bobby’s panic room.

At least put the box away??

“Dean...wasn't wrong. My followers have abandoned us.”

“Yeah, and Gadreel says he can help us. From where I sit, that's more than an even trade.”

Gadreel is worth one entire army. I hope he realizes that.

Eww, Dean’s vomiting.

He vomited blood, nonetheless! Always a good sign.

“So, uh, Metatron...Metatron...God?”

“Just a second.”

Oh, he’s that kind of asshole.

“You've just reunited all the angels under the banner of heaven. I mean, that's like...”

“Winning a People's Choice Award? Not quite the real deal, now, is it?”

Nice dig.

There’s our Chekvon gun: the mic that allows all angels to hear Metatron.

“Hello? This is Metatron.”

“More reverb.”

“Because I'm Lou Gehrig?”

I love that reference.

“I'd like to take a moment to welcome you all back. I want you to know how moved I am that you've accepted me as your new God. My heart, as they say, is full--” Of crap.

“We're not here to hurt you.”

“No. Your Grace. Healing me will only weaken you.”

Cas healed Gadreel with no hesitation.

Has this what Crowley’s been up to?? Getting massages?

Dean managed to pry the doors to the dungeon open.

“What the hell's happening to me, you son of a bitch?” At least Dean showed concern about this situation.

“What I want is Metatron.”

“Go on.”

“But I have to get through that door, and I have to get to the blade. And you're gonna help me.”

Damn it.

Alright Sam, take deep breaths.

“Are you sure it was Crowley?” Yep.

“Well, Metatron is more powerful than ever, but if Dean has the First Blade and the mark, that might give us our best chance.”

“You're joking, right? An hour ago, we were ready to throw Dean into a padded cell, and now you say he's our best chance?”

“Hear him out, Sam.”

“Oh, right. Excuse me. Sorry, guys. Uh, sorry I'm a little less than eager to hear that our best chance is -- is arming the warhead and hoping it hits the mark. This is not a bomb we're talking about. This is my brother.”

This is so reminiscent of S4, when Sam was the warhead even Bobby wanted to arm if it meant killing Lilith. Sam’s vouching for protecting Dean the exact same way Dean did for him

Oh damn. RIP woman. Hit by a car.

“What can I get you fellas?”

“Coffee. Black.”

Jeez, Dean.

“Are you serious? You take this girl's table, her time, you spread out like an overgrown teenager, and for what? What's the tip on a single cup of Joe? A nickel?” That was sweet of Crowley.

“Hell's fine. Hell's like a Swiss watch. Don't worry about hell. Hell's complicated.”

"’Game of Thrones’ is complicated. Shower sex -- that's complicated.”

A hell of a conversation going on.

“My problem is Metatron. Right now there's nothing. There's no angel smitings, no crazy acts of God, no vermin, hail. If Metatron's making his move on earth, he is taking his sweet-ass time.” No, he’s being subtle about it, unlike Godstiel and his mass killings and healings.

Metatron can’t pull off puppy dog eyes.

“You're not gonna eat your food?”

“Not hungry.”

A huge red flag.

“How we might convince them to let us pass.”

“Wookie.”

!!!

“Brother, I have no idea what that means.”

“It's a reference to a very popular film that -- never mind.”

Cas finally gets to be on the other side of explaining a pop culture reference to someone.

Sam beat Dean to the punch.

“I guess one of us doesn't need a demon to help follow a clue trail.” b u r n

“I just thought you might like to know that while you two have been playing, uh, odd couple, your real friends, like Cas, like the angel you stabbed, Gadreel --they're out there right now, risking their asses to help you win this fight.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“A fight, I might add, you made that much more complicated when you decided to stab the one angel who could actually get us to Metatron.”

“You mean the angel that took you for a joy ride? The angel that slaughtered Kevin? That angel?”

WILL YOU LET HIM TALK, DEAN.

“Please, when you say you don't want to explain anything to me, don't. I get it. And I also get that Metatron has to go. And I know you're our best shot to do that.” Unlike Dean in S4, Sam is arming the warhead.

“If this is it, we're gonna do it together.” Sam “teamwork” Winchester.

“Excuse me. I'm not exactly demon Minion number three here. As the kids say-” 

lol

“Look, I don't know what you expected here, okay. I don't really care, but you wanted off the hamster wheel. Get off.”

“Well, I guess I've been Winchestered.”

Our first look at Heaven’s portal.

c r a p

“Welcome to heaven's jail, Castiel. I believe Gadreel can give you the tour.”  Screw you, Ingrid.

I will now like to take donations for “Give Gadreel a Hug”.

“He's a fraud!”

“I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, good sir. How can one be a fraud when one offers nothing? A little love, a little hope, the occasional miracle -- nothing more.”

“You know exactly what I mean...Metatron.”

PUT HIM ON BLAST, UNKNOWN ANGEL.

“Who here has the gift that this man has?” The unknown angel, if Metatron hadn’t cast him down and taken most of his powers away.

My stomach is in knots. I always hated this. All these people are going to hell, especially George.

RIP unknown angel. Killed by George.

How do we still have 19 minutes left???

“Are you ready to gut this bitch?” Aww, Sammy.

“Sorry, little brother. It's not your fight.” DAMN IT DEAN.

“Nothing you say matters.”

“Would you rather I not try at all?”

“Not if you can't prove it.”

HANNAH P L E A S E.

Yeah, y'all won’t be forgiven for beating and killing an innocent man.

“Of reclaiming my good name. I thought of nobody, no cause, other than my own.”

“You’ve been redeemed, my friend.”

Not yet, not fully.

“The only thing that matters in the end is the mission -- protecting those who would not and cannot protect themselves --the humans. None of us is bigger than that. And we will not let our fears, our self-absorption prevent us from seeing it through. Not anymore...Move to the other side of your cell, Castiel, and keep your head down.

When they say my name, perhaps I won't just be the one who let the serpent in. Perhaps I will be known as one of the many......who gave heaven a second chance. Run, sister.”

Gadreel’s last words.

RIP Gadreel. Killed himself to give Heaven a second chance.

“Most people -- even the real belly crawlers living in filth...Or Brentwood...They don't want to be cynical. They just want something to believe in.”

“And that’d be you.”

“Why not me?”

There’s a list, buddy.

The sickly yellow lighting on Dean’s face...

Cas and Metatron both wanted to be a better God than God.

“I'm blaming you for Kevin! I'm blaming you for taking Cas' Grace. Hell, I'm blaming you for the Cubs not winning The World Series in the last 100 freaking years.” Give it a couple more years on that last one.

My stomach already hurts; I know what’s coming.

“Well, here's a news flash -- humpty and dumpty are starring in their very own version of ‘Locked Up Abroad: Heaven’ right now.” They don’t know that Cas escaped.

I’d been looking forward to this fight, looked forward to Metatron getting his ass kicked...I had the highest hopes for Dean to win...and it went so badly, so quickly.

Haul ass, Sam!!

I want them to hurry up...but I know how this ends.

The look on Dean’s face when he sees Sam...that’ll haunt my dreams.

Cas finds the Angel Tablet one second too late. 

NOW, SAM.

Cas breaks his third word of God.

“The Angel tablet -- arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe -- is in pieces, and for what again? Oh, that's right -- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.” 

After all these years...I can’t stand to see Dean like this.

Cas has learned that one of the most important people in his very long life is dead...and he still carries on with the plan to stop Metatron. Tears in his eyes, and everything.

“What happened with you being okay with this?”

“I lied.”

I knew it.

The angel blade with Dean’s own blood on it.

“You know, why you could never quite pull it together, Castiel? While you're sitting here with Your Grace slowly burning away and your reputation long extinguished? No curiosity. You didn't read enough. You never learned how to tell a good story.”

“But you did.”

FUCK YES.

“I'm proud of us.” Dean’s last words.

RIP Dean Winchester. Killed by Metatron. Death #4.

“You're doing the right thing -- letting him live. It's what a leader would do.”

“I'm no leader, Hannah. I never was. I just want to be an angel.”

“Can’t Find My Way Home” by Blind Faith.

Sam had to carry Dean’s body to the Bunker and to his room.

Crowley came on his own accord.

On first viewing, I was crying so much I barely paid attention to Crowley’s monologue and I didn’t even care. Dean was dead.

“But...there is one story about Cain that I might have... forgotten to tell you. Apparently, he, too, was willing to accept death, rather than becoming the killer the Mark wanted him to be. So he took his own life with the Blade. He died. Except, as rumor has it, the Mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this. Why set hearts aflutter at mere speculation? It wasn't until you summoned me... No, it wasn't truly until you left that cheeseburger uneaten...that I began to let myself believe. Maybe miracles do come true.”

...Up until this point.

“Listen to me, Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now -- it's not death. It's life -- a new kind of life.” A horrible life.

“Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And let's go take a howl at that moon.”

A real “eye opening” ending, screw you, Jensen.

[autisticandroids]

#idk i think s6 thing is more ridiculous#but besides that his actions make sense as an abuser#its pretty consistent in the way that its inconsistent#not sure what dean criticism is being talked about#the narrative makes the experience frustrating#but its not the main issue with Dean#the issues is who he is as a person and it flies over 99% of the fandom's head#and spn is consistent about it#it just excuses it

idk i don’t think this is true. basically, dean’s issues work like this:

dean believes that anything that goes wrong is his fault -> dean takes responsibility for everything -> dean believes it is his duty to control everything and everyone -> dean experiences anyone doing anything outside his control as a betrayal

and yes, this is the mindset of an abuser, but it’s a mindset the text of the show agrees with. death himself blames dean for not keeping cas from becoming god. dean is like..... just a guy! he is literally just some guy. like, why in god��s name does death himself think it’s dean’s fault? because the narrative of supernatural sees it as his fault. like, yes, i do think dean has an abusive mindset, and is abusive to sam. i also think that this is true because the show itself has an abusive mindset, keeping dean from ever learning and growing, and keeping other characters under his thumb. 

for example cas, for whom the power dynamic totally goes the other way, and who has shown himself totally capable of standing up to dean and breaking free of him, and in fact of setting solid boundaries with dean and convincing dean to change, never wants to do any of those things. he never seriously tries to get away from dean or change dean’s behavior, which ends up making him look like someone who has experienced abuse their whole life and simply considers it normal. like, is dean’s behavior towards cas toxic and controlling? totally. but when cas tries to change their relationship, set boundaries, and demand different behavior from dean, it seems to work. it’s just that cas never asks. and the reason he never asks is, well, from a watsonian perspective, like i said, it kinda comes off like dean’s behavior is just normal to cas, it’s what he’s used to from heaven and it would never occur to him to ask for better. but from a doylist perspective, the reason he never asks is because it never occurs to the narrative of the show that there could be anything wrong with dean’s behavior.

like, there’s a reason why, for example, it doesn’t occur to anyone that cas might even want an apology for dean putting him in a situation where he had to choose between killing dean and losing his army in 9x22. like it’s not that dean doesn’t apologize, that makes sense since he’s under the influence of the mark of cain. it’s that cas doesn’t even seem to mind. and it doesn’t occur to cas or the narrative that he should.

like the narrative thinks that this is how relationships are supposed to work. and sometimes, like with sam, dean is actively enforcing the relationship working that way, like, in that relationship he is abusive. but in other cases, like with cas, it’s the narrative of supernatural enforcing the way the relationship works. 

like, dean is the avatar of the narrative in a way that often makes no sense at all in-text. arguably, you could see like.... all of supernatural as a completely warped version of reality exclusively from dean’s perspective which has almost nothing to do with the actual events as they happened, like, you could see supernatural as an-account-of-events-as-dean-and-only-dean-remembers-them, but short of that level of unreliable narrator for the whole show, it’s the narrative itself that’s enforcing most of the relationships dean has working the way they do.

like, every time dean fails to control the situation and people around him, the narrative punishes him for it (death blaming him for godstiel, soulless sam, my favorite quote from let it bleed when he apologizes to lisa for “hitting her with his car”: “i lost control for a minute,” even cas saying “it took everything to get me here” in reading is fundamental though that is arguably the narrative giving dean an opportunity to blame himself but not demanding that he do so and dean taking the opportunity). like. he’s shown himself capable of learning and growing and becoming a better person (the trap the trap the trap the tRAP THE TRAP but also other moments like soooort of the jack arc until they threw that out the window because spn will die before having a “consistent” “narrative”) but the narrative consistently punishes him for growing and agrees with his own assessment that everything is his fault.

so he is both disallowed from growing, because he is always right, and constantly allowed to be toxic and controlling usually without even needing to abuse the people around him, because the narrative of supernatural believes that’s how relationships are supposed to work.

is the narrative of the show supernatural dean's body, and other thoughts i have had in the last hour