#dear god i have so much stupid information stored up in me

[twilghtkoo]

summary. haechan gets hurt but you know that with him it’s not going to be as simple as putting a band-aid on it

pairings. haechan x reader (f)

genre. fluff, crack? friends to lovers??

word count. 1.64k

warnings. mentions of blood, a creepy man stares at reader

notes. me finding hello kitty bandaids in a store and buying them sparked this idea so :D like and reblog if you enjoy this !!

masterlist

—

your dear friend is one stubborn person. one who seeks excitement wherever he can find it and likes to find things out the hard way. in this case being, falling off of a skateboard. you told him to not ride too fast and to not go down the small pavement hill, and what did he do? go down the hill riding too fast. the hill had caused him to accelerate unwillingly and him not being able to stop himself before he collided with the ground.

you gasped at the scene from the bench that was a bit of a distance between you and haechan, who is lying still in the grass. he’s not dead, just lying face down suffering from embarrassment and moaning in pain.

you let out a big sigh, grabbing all of yours and his belongings before crouching down next to the limp body.

you carefully reach out your hand to place on his back. “haechan…”

he flinched at your presence, turning over slowly. “no go away, let me lie in my own embarrassment and pain alone.” he breathes out. his eyes are shut tightly as he holds his hip and his knees brought to his chest.

you roll your eyes at him, shoving his hand away to take a close look at his knee. “you’re a drama queen, you know that?”

his knee suffered the most from the fall, his hip for sure will have a bruise tomorrow.

you wince at the blood, the . “you’re bleeding haechan, we have to get back to the bench so i can clean it up.” you inform him.

he shakes his head, bringing his forearm to cover his face. “no, just leave me here to bleed out.”

you scoff, shaking your head before you take the arm that hides his face and pulling him up to his feet.

“shit,” he curses.

you allow him to use you for support as you both struggle to make your way back to the park bench. he sits himself down and finally glances at his knee.

his eyes bulge out at the bloody sheet on his knee. “ew, oh my god, that’s a lot of blood.”

you nod, “it’s not too bad, thank goodness. stay here i’m going to run to the convenience store and get stuff to clean it up.” and you’re gone before he can argue, leaving him alone with a bloody knee and an aching hip.

the doorbell chimes once you walk into the store, giving the worker a nod as you make your way to where the bandages are. there’s the store brand, a brand you recognize from tv and there’s some fun cartoon ones. pokémon, baby shark, toy story and others.

a certain box is quickly in your hands as you smirk to yourself. grabbing a few other things before making your way to pay for it.

“hey squirrel, did you see how i fell? was it embarrassing?” haechan speaks to the small animal that is munching on something next to his feet. the squirrel doesn’t react in any way, obviously. and he wonders to himself why he doesn’t listen to you, knowing you’re always right. why did he itch to go down that stupid hill and tumble to his doom. in front of you.

“look at all this blood. can you believe i fell in front of the girl i like.” he speaks again, but more like to himself as he stares at the gash on his knee and the drop of blood trickling down his leg.

you and him are close friends. first meeting each other at the movie theater when a few studio ghibli movies were showing. you ripped his ticket up in your cute work uniform behind the counter, making small conversation and telling him that spirited away was your favorite movie and telling him to enjoy the film.

and he enjoyed the film, even coming back out the theater room and finding you in the same spot you both met earlier. you were a quiet character, not much of a talker but just because you didn’t really have much to say but you loved listening. you love and care for people in your own way, something he admires and loves about you. to strangers you may seem closed off but when you grow comfortable with someone you’re very high spirited.

he hears footsteps running quickly to his side, the squirrel scurrying off probably to the tree behind him. goodbye, little friend.

you slow your pace down once you’re near him, a warm smile on your face as you wave the bag in your hand in front of him.

“i’m back,” you huffed, crouching and placing the bag down next to you. your bottom lip is sucked in between your teeth, deeply concentrated as you take out the essentials.

“i’m just gonna clean it with water real quick, okay?” you show him the water bottle and napkins in your hands.

you carefully pour the liquid onto the napkins, your hand grabs the back of his knee as you bring it closer to the abrasion.

before the wet cloth touches him, he flinches away. “wait!” he yelps.

you jump, “what?”

“i’m scared,” he pouts.

your hands drop. “of what?”

“it’s gonna burn!”

“oh my god, haechan do not start.”

he lightly kicks his leg away from you, shielding his wound with his hands.

“haechan i will literally hold you down, it’s not gonna hurt that bad. i promise.” you try to threaten him. you reach for his leg again, wiping the blood that trickled it’s way down and stained his white socks.

his eyes follow another pair of feet walking past you, a man in a tracksuit ogles at your back. haechan follows his eyes to you, and he realizes you’re wearing a dress. haechan’a eyes narrow at the man but the stranger isn’t ashamed as he keeps looking back at you. he’s sure the man can feel his hard stares but is just ignoring him and that makes his blood coil. haechan shrugs his zip up sweater off and cooly throws it over your shoulders, it’s big enough on you to cover the draft to any passersby’s.

you look at the sweater on your shoulders but ignore it, he observes you for a bit before dropping his shoulders. “hmph, fine.”

“and look!” you gasp, reaching down beside you to hold out the small box of hello kitty band aids with a big smile curving your lips upwards.

haechan’s face deadpans. “how old are you?”

you frown, taken back. “what? they’re bandages, but cute. do you want to bleed out? don’t disrespect miss hello kitty.” you stuck your chin out.

he laughs, “i’m a grown ass man, i’m not slapping hello kitty on my battle scar.”

now it’s your turn to laugh. “a grown ass man that fell and acted like he was on the brink of death. yeah, okay. give me your knee,” you demanded.

you quickly dab as much blood away as you can through haechan’s hisses. wiping away the dried blood was a bit hard since he was fighting you but it’s all clean.

“green or pink?” you ask.

he tilts his head, thinking before he answers green.

you take the selected band-aid, the hello kitty that is customized with a green bow and green dress, a blue colored sky behind her and a red flower on the ground that matches her outfit. how cute.

you peel it off from the wrapper, gently placing it over his wound.

you crumble the trash in your hands and place it inside the grocery bag. “all better now, see? wasn’t so bad.”

you stand up, wincing from the position you were sat in for so long before haechan’s long, slick fingers wrapped around your wrist.

“wait, you forgot something.” he tells you.

“huh, what did i forget?” you genuinely ask.

he looks at you seriously. “you have to kiss it better, so it’ll heal quicker.”

your lips part and your cheeks heat up. “what…” the word barely leaves past your lips.

he raises his eyebrows expectantly, as if he’s waiting.

you shake your head, snatching your hand out of his grasp. “be serious, haechan.”

“i’m being very serious,” he tells you. “come on, don’t you want me to get better?”

“it’s just a scrape, your leg isn’t broken.” can he hear the thumping in your chest? god, it’s like it’s ringing in your ears.

you know he’s not gonna let you get away without actually kneeling down and kissing his knee. he will put up a fight in this park and you know it. he likes to tease you.

but how can he ask that question so freely. your lips have never touched any part of his skin because friends don’t do that!

it’s like he loves torturing you, contributing these heartfelt acts unknowingly like an arrow to your heart.

“you big baby.” you mumble out, crouching down and taking a clear glimpse at the cute bandage on his skin, it makes you smile.

haechan gazed at you, anticipating the moment your lips touch his skin. he is so sure that once your lips come in contact with his knee, he’ll be able to run a marathon. can you hear the thumping in his chest?

your face nears his knee, you pucker your lips and you gently place a kiss just below the bandage.

you clear your throat. “there. better now?” you try to act cool, standing to your feet and peering down at your friend.

“i don’t know, can you watch how far i run?” and your friend zooms past you, running across the grass field as if he wasn’t whining and limping by your side just a few moments ago.

“what the hell?” you shout out, chasing after him. “how are you running? yah, lee donghyuck!”

[nfumbewalk]

Getting Easier

Intranquil Spirit love spell about a year ago. Elevation candle in white with blue glass cover. The little chime candle has oils and herbs.

I didn't expect this to happen, but writing my book is becoming easier! Hopefully this continues. Now, most of the pertinent information is on Tom's laptop instead of my Kindle, thank God! I thought I wouldn't make it for a while. Sometimes I still have doubts about myself and my writing...

I found another modern necromancy book released this year, released by the publisher I was thinking about. This person's book is a more "normal and acceptable" sounding necromancy book. My information is very different because I've had help from my guide and a Demon. Channeling isn't acceptable. So, I will have to change some things if I want to publish. I won't lie or be dishonest - I will just omit information. This modern "gentle approach" necromancy is fuckin stupid.

I'm never mean or harsh to muertos but please don't kill the practice with a stupid "white light and rainbows" or "I'm soooo dark and I'm swathed in black...I love the dead, mmmm.." thing either. Dude, I'm in black too but that means nothing in regards to my spirituality and my practice. I love white as well, but hell, I cannot stay clean! Lol!

I'm pretty sure now where and what my practices come from exactly. They are based in Espiritismo and some other interesting methods that I've intuitively picked up over time. The first is Espiritismo. This hails originally from France, originally from the mid 19th century. Allen Kardec founded it. But Muerteria is not nearly a duplicate of spiritist practices. This is just one of the influences of Muerteria. I learned from a Cuban man about muertos very closely and gathered so much knowledge from many other Spanish/Latino religo-magical experiences that have richly colored and continually developed my Muerteria practice. And now, I'm just learning the meat and potatoes of the Spanish language! 😆 Durrr...I swear, I'm not dumb.

I just put all of these origins together, too. Santa Muerte says, "Jajajaja! " Hey! Stop laughing, abuela! She's like, "Told you so." Easy laugh I am for her. Think she loves me because I'm not boring and I keep her amused. Swear to God! 😊 Our bond is different than other devotees, mainly because I do not pray to her. I used to and it felt wrong to beg. I've never felt right. We agreed on focused meditative statements. And it works!

I got beautiful red roses for Santa Muerte today and a Caramello bar. I picked up liquor for Santa, Rodolfo, and Biffy. Decided on tequila and brandy. Biffy said definitely brandy for him, he doesn't care for tequila but he will accept it. Rodolfo is like, "Uh, tequila, always, man." Santa Muerte always gets mezcal or tequila. I wanted to get wine, but it ended up being a hassle to go to the grocery store. All of this was bought via a wonderful tip/donation from my client. 💖 I really appreciate him.

Things are unfolding again!?! A feeling I just got. What is going to happen? I keep thinking of my father-in-law, Chuck. Oh dear. And my mother-in-law's (his wife, Tom's mom) birthday is on the 6th...I hope nothing happens! I'm concerned that Chuck may pass soon. His heart is very, very bad and he's 80. He's got stents, Afib, multiple heart attacks, God knows what else. He's on blood thinners, more than one. Fhhhuuuuccckkkk. Don't die Chuck! He needs Michael. I should ask Michael to watch over him. Or Tom should ask his angel, Cassiel. Chuck is Catholic, think he'd appreciate it much. Perhaps I should look into this by necromancy or my cards.

I wrote a whole diatribe here and deleted it! It got rather controversial and I did not want to lose followers because of my opinions. My reserved parents taught me that "Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one." Hey - they were reserved but not delicate in speech! Cool boomers though. They never took any drugs, unless my dad snuck in some speed. Dunno for sure though my dad never really changed his behavior. Oh! I gave him some weed cookie late in his life - forgot! He turned so cheerful and talkative!! He said his pain was gone, too. So much for oxycodone.

Tom gave my mom a joint but she never smoked it. I would have loved to been able to have given her some chocolate. I'm positive it would have erased her chronic pain like it helps my cramps and nerve pain. But marijuana wasn't legal until after she died.

Well, done here. Hope something I wrote is interesting.

M.M. 💖💀💖

[aphroditesmoon]

♤- ALL THINGS END

CROWLEY X AZIRAPHALE

SUMMARY; a series of unsent letters from a demon, to an angel.

warnings: angst, set after events of S2.

A/N: this is my first aziracrow fic, also i haven't gotten an ao3 acc yet so tumblr it is

♡ "IF SOMEONE ASKED ME AT THE END, I'D TELL THEM, 'PUT ME BACK IN IT' " ♡

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○.-

DAY 1

Dear Diary,

Dear Aziraphale,

It’s been a whole 24 hours without you. I see that Muriel Has been trusted with the bookshop. If you want my opinion, that’s just jolly fucking better. After all, it’ll need an owner who actually cares for it more than you had. ‘Nothing lasts forever?

Well I’ll prove you wrong today, tomorrow and forever. When you’ve realized how wrong you were, and how right I was, I assure you that you’ll come back to a bookshop that’s exactly the same as you left it. I’ll make sure of it, alongside Muriel of course. And we will revel with the deepest joy in ourselves, watching you do the apology dance. You and I can both agree on the fact that your punishment fits the crime. I will not wait for you. Because I know you’ll be back soon enough when you realize that I was, again, right.

DAY 7

Dear Aziraphale,

How’s life as supreme archangel? I bet you’re already on your last straw with lot of them by now. If you’re waiting for me to save you again, you can stop. You have made your bed when you thought you could change Heaven it’s natural course.

You’re probably remembering now, how not even I, not even Gabriel, could change that place. What makes you think you can? With what power? You and your tiny miracles, your insufferable terrible magic tricks that never work, you and your sweet tooth craving a forbidden crepe and some coffee. Some rules like that just can’t be changed, eh? Let alone the big ones, like going against God’s great ineffable plan. The books and I look forward to your groveling.

DAY 30

Dear Aziraphale,

Do you remember Maggie and Nina? You must surely. I’m sure your new job have not been giving you such a power rush that you’d forget those two inevitable lovers. Speaking of inevitable, I thought I’d let you know that they’ve started going out together. Not a surprise, I know. Just some sheltering together from rain, and Vavoom! Works every time. Except with us it probably didn’t. No, the rainstorm had been too strong, hasn’t it? Strong enough to have taken you away from me. Well, when you finally wake up and realize you have free will, you’ll know where to find me. Take your time though, I reckoned the books prefer me over you anyways.

DAY 90

Angel,

I thought I’d inform you that your three month trial has officially ended. The punishment has been upgraded to 2 apology dances. That’s right, you’ll have to do it twice. I also thought I’d let you know how much I hate you. I hate how stupid you are. How incredibly naïve can one be to be sold to a lie, already printed in history. I found your ridiculous magician hat yesterday, yes I ransacked your room. I smashed your special painting by Van Gogh, the ones with the yellow flowers. It can’t have been that important if you could just easily leave it behind.

I also burned your bedsheets. It’s ugly, just something you’d like. Why did you ever need a bed anyways, you read there more than you sleep. And yet I could still smell you all over it. Speaking of smell, I also smashed all of your perfumes together. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea, too much whiskey maybe. Because now I can smell you even stronger. Every second I would stop in my tracks, mistaking the scent for you coming back to me. It’s stupid, just like you.

DAY 320

Angel,

I see that Muriel has been promoted. Good for her, best one of the lot, I see a lot of you in her. Or rather, the old you. Maggie and Nina are moving away. Apparently they’ve been saving money to move away, get a nice condo, open up music store with a café installed inside, a genius idea if you ask me. Good for them. I found your diary. Don’t know how I missed it when I first moved in. You write your feelings conspicuously, you write the same way you talk. Sometimes it feels like you were telling me a story as I read it. I read them with your voice at first, But as I reach the rest 500 pages left, I’ve realized that I had grown to forget how you sound.

The people from the streets must think I’m insane, by the way I’m going around places, mocking your voice as I speak, so I’d never lose it.

DAY 600

My angel,

I lied when I said in my much earlier letter, that I hated you. I could never hate you. Not when you’ve done nothing wrong. You are good, and you were chosen to do more good. I might never understand any of it, or agree with Heaven’s choices and definitions of good. But that’s because I’m a demon, surely. I could never understand you, or love you as you should be loved, no matter how much I wanted to. You have always been, the light by the end of my door, that I can’t seem to reach no matter how hard I’m running. I should not be allowed to say this, but I love you. Despite the fact that I’m barely worthy to. I know, I could try with all my might to know you, know your voice, your smell, to recognize the sound of your footsteps and to feel you even before you make yourself known. I am still not worthy. And yet, all the rules be damned, I love you. I love your silly magic tricks. I didn’t burn your hat. I could never, after all, how would I tell you of it if you ever came back.

DAY 700

My angel,

Funny how life works doesn’t it, I’ll give your boss that. We’ve known each other for more than 6000 years, and here I am, less than two years, out of my mind without my best friend. You’re no longer obliged to come back to me. I free you from my obsession. I will always be yours. I’ve been living as just that, now I’ll die the same way.

I was so sure when I fell, that it can’t get any worse than that. But as you fall further from me, I realized I’ve jinxed myself then. Because this, this is worse than anything. But perhaps it’s all part of God’s ineffable plan. Perhaps loving you is my punishment for asking her questions. To love but not to have. That is my vow to you. That I’ll love you anyway. Despite what I’ve said. Despite what you’ve said.

Despite everything.

DAY 3000

Aziraphale,

If you do one day decide to stop by here one day, You’ll find your bookshop no longer existing. And you’ll find me no longer existing either. If I could pray for one thing, as a fallen angel, owned no debt from God. I’d ask to see you one last time, even as glimpse of scattered  dreams, I’ll take it. One last time before I destroy myself for good

[classpectcurse]

class pairs: seer - mage

key words: perceiving, knowing, understanding

(why bother with a preamble when i can just jump right in to the interesting stuff)

these things are monsters, watch out

seer: passive

they understand their class, can perceive it with greater clarity and thoroughness than others. this tends to be an intellectual, brainy sort of understanding. it errs on the side of theoretical rather than practical knowledge. seers are head thinkers: they are able to come up with plans, ideas, solutions, about their aspect that others might not. they understand and have a VISION of their aspect. they can be relied on to direct others, come up with the best strategy, to explain the topic clearly and make others understand the thing.

however, on the flip side, if unchecked, it makes them rather idealistic and naive, and often arrogant. they can be blinded by their own knowledge. because their knowledge has a limit.

as a passive class, they are best served in a passive role; they work best when guiding others, teaching, directing, or strategising, rather than putting themselves on the front lines. by being head thinkers, seers tend not to think emotionally, and thus end up lacking a sense of boundaries when it comes to executing their own plans. this can lead to them taking things too far, morally speaking, or failing to be cautious due to overconfidence in their own abilities.

in fiction, a seer that oversteps his role is often punished by the narrative. they go too far, and engineer their own downfall. their hubris brings their own demise. they must learn to step back, take on the guiding role for players better suited to direct action, and they will see the best results.

the seer class is obviously based on the mythological seer archetype. think, the oracle of delphi in greek myths. the seer’s role is often to passive guide, to direct the heroes towards what they need without directly interfering in events. seers are often used as a narrative device by authors to deliver exposition; occasionally this use might be so egregious as to change a character who is otherwise NOT a seer into a seer by function (looking @ u jkr :/).

(important note that in fiction/mythology, the seer role has an unpleasant gender aspect to it, in that seer is an easy role to shove a passive woman character into, to give her something to do/say in the plot without involving her in any action. this is still unfortunately true of a lot of fiction today, but this doesn’t work irl bc gender is fake. beware of assigning gendered fictional seer characteristics to descriptions of the seer class.)

a great example of a fictional seer arc is mdzs wei wuxian. (SPECIFICALLY the mdzs version, not the drama version. cql!wwx is a different story.) through his ingenuity and creativity, he becomes the founder of demonic cultivation. however, he is arrogant in assuming that he knows best, that he could control the yin tiger seal, that his path was the only path to follow. the result is, the narrative punishes him for his arrogance. he loses control. he watches his loved ones dies. he dies a horrible death.

but in his second life, after his resurrection, he properly steps into the seer role. he solves the mystery, he guides and teaches the juniors, he steps away from the demonic path. and through embracing his role as a seer, he is finally able to achieve his happiness.

emotionally speaking, seers aren’t very complicated? if the time is right and the circumstances align they’ll confess their feelings etc. they might lack a sense of shame about it, in fact that seems an alarmingly consistent pattern. they kind of just don’t place on the emotional constipation scale. though they might be bogged down by logic and stuff and won’t examine their own feelings properly until later.

identifying traits of a seer: - wordy. good at explaining things; smort - very much a head thinker as opposed to a heart thinker; likes to think of things intellectually - can seem a bit emotionally cold? not that they’re cold people but just that they tend to be a little less overtly emotional, simply due to the nature of their class

examples of seers: namjoon (RM) from bts, wei wuxian (MDZS only), jing beiyuan (qi ye), rose lalonde (Homestuck), terezi pyrope (Homestuck)

prospit/derse: fairly straightforward, both types of seers still tend to be up there in terms of energy and chattiness, but derse seers are just more pretentious about it ngl.

mage: active

on the flip side to seers’ cerebral understanding of their aspect, mages have an intuitive, experience-based understanding, and they function best by employing this understanding directly.

mages, in a team dynamic, essentially serve as the talented weirdo/grumpy uncle who is extremely competent at their job, as long as nobody asks them to explain what they’re doing. mages understand their aspect supremely well, but they CANNOT, for the life of them, explain what the fuck goes through their head. it just comes out a bunch of confused, jumbled rambling that doesn’t really help anyone else. everyone knows that, without a doubt, this guy is a genius, but it’s useless to ask them to teach you because they can’t. they can’t explain shit.

their understanding of their aspect is not, NOT intellectual. it’s just that it comes from a place of instinct, rather than of deliberate, calculated thought. mages work best when they don’t try too hard to rationalise their understanding, but instead allow themselves to operate according to how they feel is best.

mages don’t really have a specific character arc? it’s more just about consistently trusting their instincts, maintaining the relationships around them, and retaining the trust of the people in the team. mages really need to do their own thing, and so a team is best off when they point the mage in the right direction and let them do what they feel is best, because they’ll often do a better job going off instinct than any plan could.

mage characters often come with some kind of tragic or mysterious backstory. because mages learn from experience, this backstory often serves as an explanation for their level of expertise. but irl this isn’t strictly necessary for mages. nevertheless they retain an intuitive understanding of their aspect which can be traced to their personal experience of it.

the thing to know about mages to identify them is just, they give off weird gremlin vibes. like, weird cousin in the basement vibes. like, coffeeshop uncle yelling about the government vibes. like on the surface they might seem respectable and shit, but deep down?? they’re some weirdo gremlin and that cannot shake the weirdness even if they’re in a law firm or a full tailored suit.

i used to think mages were really emotionally constipated but honestly they’re not that bad? they like to put things off, emotionally speaking. like they want to just leave that stuff for later, maybe never, bye, but they do get to it eventually. there’s a lot less active agonising going on, they just don’t like to think about the Feelings thing. when they do confront it, it’s usually just a, OK I SAID HOW I FEEL, CAN WE SKIP TO THE PART WHERE THINGS AREN’T AWKWARD ANYMORE. it’s funny but it gets the job done i guess.

identifying traits of a mage: - grumpy, crabby, whatever you get the vibe - gremlin energy. they’re just kind of weird - know their shit but cannot explain it, like maybe they can explain it a bit but it’s really not their talent and they are more likely to confuse someone than teach them anything - don’t like talking about their feelings if they can help it, but they’re not like, awful at it ig

examples of mages: yoongi (suga) bts, edward elric, meulin leijon (homestuck), sollux captor (homestuck), zhou zishu (tian ya ke, word of honor)

prospit/derse: prospit is edward elric. derse is bts suga. idk what else to tell u. it’s angry weirdo vs vaguely apathetic weirdo. both are weird with gremlin vibes.

[suckerfordylansstuff]

New Journey (S.H.) Prologue Season 1

Pairing: (eventual) Steve Harrington x henderson!reader

Summary: The beggining of the story. How did Y/n Henderson get herself into this mess? How did she deal with the loss of a dear friend and how will she survive the bullies and monsters?

Warnings: swearing

Notes: Hello people. We are back and running. This backstory is going to be eight episodes (maybe an extra epilogue at the end, I haven't figured things out yet), but I do want to make sure I finish this before the new season. It was pretty challenging to make sure I didn't miss any information I had put on the character on the other chapters, but I think I managed. This whole backstory thing made me realise it was pretty stupid of me to not start from season one from the beggining, but oh well, what can you do. I hope you enjoy this first chapter and be prepared for some angst this time around! Stay safe! 💕

Gif not mine

~~New Journey Masterlist >> Chapter 1

" You sure you don't need any more help?" you called out for your boss at the diner. He had decided to close early, since not a lot people were coming in today. November had just hit and the nights were becoming even colder, so it wasn't pleasant to be out.

" Do not worry, Y/N. I can close my store just fine, I'm not that old yet." he winked at you after his joke and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Mr. Miller was one of the sweetest people you had met. When you decided to get a job to help your mother and save up some money for yourself, you were certain you wouldn't enjoy it so much. Sure, being a waitress at a diner had its disadvantages, especially in a small town like Hawkins where everyone knew eachother, but the rest of the stuff certainly knew how to pass the time without a sweat. Plus, the gossip was always fresh, so you weren't really complaining.

" Okay, Mr. Miller, but don't complain tomorrow if your back is hurting." you sent him a smile as he was cleaning the floor.

" Oh, I sure will! Goodbye, my dear." he waved at you before continuing his cleaning.

" Have a good night!" you told him while putting on your jacket. The moment you opened the door to exit the diner, you cursed yourself for not bringing extra clothes with you. As nice as the diner was, the uniform you had to wear was just awful during the winter. A dress cutting just above your knees, making them shiver from the cold. What was even worse was that you had to ride home with your bike. Jonathan had called you during your shift informing you that he was going to take another shift at his job, so he couldn't come and pick you up. You didn't like the idea in the slightest at the beginning, but you knew he was in a same, if not worse, economical situation with his family, so you couldn't be mad.

In the end, this left you alone at night in the cold riding your stupid bike. You tried to ride as fast as possible to keep your body warm. You were closing in at the Wheeler's residence and your eyebrows furrowed when you saw Dustin's bike still outside on the porch "Oh my God, they are still playing?" you had accompanied Dustin to Mike's just before your shift had started ten hours ago, you couldn't believe they hadn't finished yet. Even though you longed to head home, you couldn't, in your right mind, leave the kids to go home alone at this time, so you made a short stop to go and collect them.

You parked your bike next to theirs and quickly ran to ring the doorbell, begging for some more warmth. Finally, Mike's mom, Karen, opened it "Oh, hi sweetie, here for your brother?"

" Yes, I saw his bike outside and decided to come and take them all home. They have been playing for quite some time now." you answered as she welcomed you in.

" They sure have, let me call them for you while you warm up. Nancy's in her room if you want to say hello." she smiled at you and headed to the basement's door.

" I sure will and thank you." you told her and you walked up the stairs to chat a bit with your friend. You met Nancy when you were just thirteen. Your mother, Dustin and you had just moved to Hawkins, Indiana. You didn't expect making any friends that fast, but Nancy had introduced herself to you when you were sitting alone at the cafeteria on your first day. She came with a smile on her face along with another girl, Barbara. It made you so happy and relieved to finally have some company. You were beyond excited when you found out your brothers had become friends too. It made you feel like everything was coming together, that this change wouldn't suck.

You were a lot closer back then, than you were now. Not in a bad way. You still hang out a lot of the time, you just found yourselves in different situations. She was very into studying, being at the top of the class and she loved socializing, even if she mostly talked to you and Barb at school. You, on the other hand, focused on your family, doing everything you could to help them, since you didn't have your father here.. And you also didn't love the idea of talking to new people, especially at school.

Another big difference between the two of you is that you still liked hanging out with your brother's friends, the 'party' as they called themselves. Mike, Will, Lucas and Dustin had become inseparable after meeting eachother. It was because of them that you met Jonathan. His quiet persona made you want to explore more within him as a child and you were both glad you did. He was and is being viewed as weird around the kids at school, but you knew he's sweet and kind. Him and his family have been through a lot of shit because of their father, so he prefers to keep to himself and his close ones. You're just glad you're one of them.

When you reached your friend's room, you saw her on her bed talking to the phone. She had told you earlier at school that Steve Harrington promised to call and a smirk made its way on your face.

" Oh, is that Steve you're talking to? Have I walked into something inappropriate? Should I leave?" you teased her and she threw a pillow at you, but you caught it with ease.

" Shut up. No, I'm just talking to Barb." she explained to you and you walked over to her bed. You sat next to her and took the phone from her hands.

" Hey Barbara. We need to stop this madness she's got going on about Steve." you spoke to your friend on the phone about the infamous boy that has caught Nancy's interest.

Steve Harrington. He was the most popular guy at your school at the moment. He even had a stupid nickname, 'King Steve'. You didn't like him, you didn't like anyone from his clique, especially Tommy H. and Carol. Oh, you could not stand them. Always making fun of people because they didn't fit their definition of 'cool', just because they were unique, different. They always found a way to annoy you and Jonathan when you passed them on the hallways, calling Jonathan a 'weirdo' and you 'pathetic'. They started calling you that when they saw how much time you spent with your brother and his friends, saying you had no actual people your age that cared about you.

That's why you were so shocked that Nancy actually liked and went out with one of them. At first it felt like a betrayal, but she assured you that it was nothing to worry about, that he wasn't as bad as he seems. After a month of them just 'talking' you decided let your feelings of hatred aside and start teasing Nancy about her new crush.

" Oh, stop it you two." you heard Nancy say as she snatched the phone from your hands, bringing it back to her ear "Barb, I'll call you right back." she informed her friend, hang up the phone and turned to look at you "What are you even doing here?"

" Well, I'm here to annoy our brothers by ending their campaign. Can you believe they are still playing after ten hours? I mean Mike told me that he had prepared something extreme, but not like this."

" I can't believe that you still are involved with their games." she said while she hugged the pillow she had earlier thrown at you.

" It's not my fault that I can see how fun they can be. If you didn't ignore your brother now that you have become 'cool', you would have known." you sent her a smirk, when her phone rang again making you gasp "Oh, speak of the devil. Could that be dear Steve?"

" Alright, I think it's getting pretty late. Time to go now!" she took your shoulders in her arms and moved you towards her bedroom door. You started giggling because you knew you were correct, her cheeks immediately flushed when she heard the phone ring.

" Okay, okay! I'm going! But no funny business on the phone, young lady." you pointed your finger at her, when you stepped on the hallway. She just rolled her eyes at you and said 'goodbye', before shutting the door. You smiled a little at her behavior and it grew even bigger when you saw your brother coming up the stairs "Hey, Dusty. Ready to go?"

" Did you have to come? If you just ignored us, Mike's mom wouldn't even remember we were downstairs and we would finish." he complained.

" I highly doubt that." you ruffled his hat, but something caught your attention "What're you holding there?"

" Oh, a piece is left from our pizza and I wanted to see if Nancy wanted it." you found it adorable. You knew Dustin had this small crush on your friend since he met her, even though he denied it. He was crushed when he saw her with Steve one time at your school.

" She's a little preoccupied at the moment, so I'll take that." you opened the box and placed the piece in your mouth. You were starving.

" What's she doing?" you both started walking down the stairs, heading towards the front door.

" You know that saying 'curiosity killed the cat'?" you rhetorically asked him, as you finished the pizza.

" She's talking to that idiot, isn't she?" he looked up at you.

" Maybe, but that's none of your business. Goodnight, Mrs. Wheeler." you placed the pizza box at the kitchen table and waved goodbye at Karen.

" Goodnight, dear." she responded.

You closed the door behind and you picked up your bike just like the kids were doing "I don't get what she sees in him." Dustin continued complaining and now he had made his friends curious as to what you were talking about.

" Who?" Mike asked.

" Your sister. She completely ignores us now." your brother got on his bike. You just shook your head, while you waited for them to get going.

" She's too cool now that she's dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington." Lucas pointed out and your head snapped towards them.

" Boys, language. And don't blame Nancy for anything, that's what happens when you grow up."

" So why are you still hanging out with us?" Mike asked you.

" Cause I don't want to grow up. Now come on, it's freezing out here." you sent him a smile and started biking towards your house. The kids said their goodbyes and after a few seconds all of you were riding together. They started telling you all about the game and how they are going to trick Mike into thinking Will didn't roll a seven. The kids loved having you around. Sometimes Dustin argued because he didn't always want to be with his big sister, but he did agree that when you were apart of the campaign you brought so much life into the story.

Lucas was the first to get home "Goodnight, ladies."

" Kiss your mom 'night for me." Dustin teased back and you just chuckled. You knew it was all fun and games around their age "Race back to our place? Winner gets a comic." he said towards Will, who immediately had a mischievous look on his face.

" Any comic?"

" Yeah." Dustin agreed, but he regretted it the second he said it. Will had already speed up his pace, way ahead your brother "Hey! Hey! I didn't say 'go'! Y/N!" he whined at you, but all you could do was laugh "Get back here! I’m gonna kill you!" he tried to catch up to him, but to no avail. Will was going to win this one.

" I'll take you X-Men 134!" he yelled as he continued to make his way towards the Byers residence, since you had arrived at your house.

" Son of a bitch.." Dustin muttered, when he stopped in front of your house, catching his breath. You approached him and placed your bike at your usual place "You just gonna let this happen?" Dustin turned to look at you.

" What do you want me to do? He clearly won." you smiled at him, kind of enjoying his annoyance.

" No, he clearly cheated." he put his bike next to yours.

" Don't worry, you're gonna win it back, just have to play smarter." you placed your arm around his shoulders and headed inside.

___

" Sweetie, could you get that? I'm heading out." you heard your mother call out for you. The phone was ringing.

" Yeah!" you finished putting on your mascara and quickly went to answer the phone "Hello?"

" Hey, dear, it's Joyce." the voice responded and you smiled.

" Good morning, Joyce. What's up?" you saw Dustin enter the kitchen making himself a peanut butter and jam sandwich. A year ago Joyce asked you to start calling her by her first name, saying you had spent too much time at her house to keep up with the formalities. It was a bit weird at first, but you got used to it.

" Um. . Did by any chance Will stay the night at yours?" you could hear it in her voice, she was very anxious.

" No- no, he headed home after me and Dustin arrived at our house. We were with him till then. Did something happen?" your brows were furrowed and Dustin was also looking at you, silently asking what happened.

" Um, you know what? I bet he just left early for school. Thank you, Y/n." she explained trying to reassure you, but you were not sure she was telling the truth.

" Wait, Joyce, are you sure everything's fine? Because you don't sound f-"

" Yes, yes, everything is good. Bye, sweetie." you tried to ask again what is happening, but she hung up the phone. You stood still for a second, before hanging up the phone as well.

" What happened?" Dustin asked, his mouth full of toast.

" I- I'm not sure.. Joyce can't find Will." you took a sit at the kitchen table in front of your brother.

" What?" he asked surprised, his chewing stopping.

" Yeah, but then she covered it up by saying he must have left early for school.. Don't you always meet up before heading there?"

" Yeah, every morning.." you could see he was starting to get worried about his friend, so you decided to change the subject.

" You know what? I bet everything's fine. Come on, get ready and go find him at school, okay?" he nodded his head a bit reluctantly, but he followed you outside as you both rode towards your schools.

You waited on the parking lot as you usually do to wait for Jonathan, but he was taking longer than usual to arrive.

'Maybe something really is off..'

It concerned you a lot when the first bell rang and he still hasn't shown up yet. After that you made a mental note to yourself to go check up on him during lunch, but now you had to go and get your stuff from your locker.

As you were approaching the locker, your head filled with the worst scenarios about what had happened to the Byers family, you saw Barbara and Nancy talking in front of your lockers. You were glad you found them there, you needed a distraction. You went next to Nancy and opened your locker while you listened to their conversation.

"... We just... made out a couple times." you rolled your eyes and spoke up, startling only Nancy since Barbara had already seen you.

" 'We just... made out a couple times'. Oh my god, I still don't understand why you like him so much." you joked as you took a book on your arms, holding it tight.

" Y/n, you said you would be supportive." Nancy whined a bit at your comment, but you knew she didn't really mind. She had accepted the fact that for you Steve will forever be the boy that made fun of you when you first came into town. He will forever be the obnoxious jerk of the basketball team, even if she could see, he wasn't truly like that.

" Of what? The relationship you're pretending that doesn't exist?" you raised your eyebrow at her. This whole time she was pretending that the time her and Steve were spending wasn't a big deal, like she didn't actually had a massive crush on him. You smirked at Barbara as you saw your friend's cheeks turning red once again.

" I- What are you even doing here? Don't you typically come on in early with Jonathan?" Nancy asked, avoiding your comment.

" He didn't show up today, I'll go later to see if everything's okay. And why are you changing the subject? Did something happen last night?" your voice had a teasing not at the end. You closed your locker and walked over next to Barbara silently asking what happened.

" He called." she smiled at you.

" Aha! Was it the call that interrupted our conversation yesterday?" you softly nudged her arm.

" Maybe.." Nancy said with a sly smile, as if she was remembering what her 'lover boy' had told her.

" Nance, you're gonna be so cool now, it's ridiculous." Barbara said and you nodded your head in agreement. Even if you didn't like Steve's group, you had to admit there was something so appealing about being 'famous' around school.

" No, I'm not" Nancy argued back.

" Uh, yes you are. The moment you are in their radar it's a done deal." you replied.

" You better still hang out with us, that's all I'm saying." you knew about Barb's worries. One time when Nancy had 'ditched' her for Steve during lunch, she came and sat with you and Jonathan. You talked about how Nancy looks like she's starting to actually enjoy their company. You remember Jonathan laughing at that comment, but you didn't know what to think. You didn't liker her going out with these people, but you couldn't possibly stop her from doing anything.

Nancy turned from her locker to give Barbara a confused look "If you become friends with Tommy H. or Carol-" the girl next to you continued to explain her thoughts, before she was interrupted by her best friend.

" Oh, that's gross! Okay, I'm telling you, it was a one-time..." her words trailed off, when she opened her locker and saw a note falling from inside. You leaned forward to read the note that had with big letter the words 'Meet Me. Bathroom. -Steve' on it.

" You were saying?" Barbara teased, while Nancy smiled at you two, asking if it was okay to go.

" Just go." you waved her off and watched as she hurried to find Steve "Ahh, young love... Disgusting." Barbara giggled next to you.

" Come on, let's go to class."

___

You were tapping your foot against the floor, as you were pretending to listen to your teacher's lecture, when someone knocked on the classroom's door. Everyone's heads turn and watched the principal come inside with the chief of the police next to him, Jim Hopper. You didn't have a good feeling about this.

" Excuse me for interrupting your lesson, but could we borrow miss Henderson for a minute?" now all the heads turned towards you. You felt small due to all the eyes starring at you as you got up from your seat and made your way out on the hallway.

" Is everything okay?" you asked reluctantly, your feet following the men heading for the principal's office.

" We'll see." you heard Hopper say.

You entered the office. The principal sat on the chair behind his desk, motioning for you to take a seat. You placed yourself in one of the chairs in front of the big desk, watching as Hopper took his time to sit next to you, turning the chair to face you. One of his officers had come as well, leaning his body against the wall.

" You were yesterday with Will Byers, is that correct?" the Chief's voice filled the room and his words had confirmed your fears.

" Has something happened to Will?" you panicked. Will was the sweetest kid you had ever met, you didn't know what you would do if something bad happened.

" Were you with him." Hopper repeated himself. You didn't like him. You didn't have many interactions with the head of the police, thankfully, but everytime you did he always had this mean look on his face, like he didn't like anyone or anything.

" I- I, uh, yes. I was with him for some while yesterday."

" Can you tell me what happened?" you knew that it wasn't really a question.

" After my, uh, shift at the diner, I took my bike and started heading home. As I-"

" Around what time was that?" he interrupted you.

" My shift ended at 7:30, but I left the diner around eight o'clock. I was helping Mr. Miller with closing the store. After I left, I rode pretty quickly to get back home, cause I was freezing, but as I passed the Wheeler's residence, I saw my brother and his friend's bikes still parked there, so I stopped to take them home."

" Your brother's the one with the hat, right?" Hopper pointed to his head.

" The one with no front teeth?" the officer that was with him spoke up. You don't think his comment was to be mean, but it still made you give him a nasty look.

" Yes, Dustin Henderson, that's my brother. I went to go and collect him and his friends, Lucas and Will, and take them back home, since it was getting pretty late. Lucas was the first one to arrive at his place. My place was next on our road so.. Will was left alone to get back home. What happened?" you were very worried now. It hadn't crossed your mind that maybe you should have made sure Will had gotten home safely. You felt so stupid now. You were the oldest, you had the responsibility of making sure all of them are okay.

" Which rode did he take, you remember?" he ignored your question once again, making you more angry.

" He always takes the one where Cornwallis meets Kerley. The kids call it-"

" Mirkwood. Yeah, yeah, I know.." he sighed, adjusting his hat on his leg "Do you remember maybe any unfamiliar behavior with Will last night?"

" I- no. No, Will was the same sweet kid he always is.. He was actually a bit more energetic. Him and my brother had a race back to our place. Will won. Could you please tell me what's happening?" you were getting very impatient. You wanted to know what's actually happening here. If it was your fault..

The chief looked at you with his grumpy eyes and you could tell he was reluctant about telling you, but he eventually gave in "Joyce Byers has reported Will as missing. He didn't came home last night and we are trying to find out what has happened."

" What?" you didn't want to believe it. What had happened to Will last night?

" Do you by any change believe he would want to ran away? I know you are close with the kids and that they trust you. Maybe even more than they would do with a parent or a sibling. Has he told anything about going to Lonnie Byers?" his elbows fell to his knees as he leaned forward, your eye levels matching.

" Who, his dad? No way. There is no way Will would want to go to him. That's the last place I'd look." you looked him in the eye and he considered your words, before getting up and putting his hat back on.

" Alright, I think that's all we need for now. If you remember anything else come and see us."

" What? That's it? You don't know where Will is at all? Are you kidding me?" you stood up from your sit looking at him desperately.

" Miss Henderson, please, calm your voice." you heard your principal tell you, but your eyes were focused on Hopper. He turned to look at you once again.

" I promise you we're doing the best we can. Thank you for your help." that was the last thing he said before opening the door and disappearing with his colleague.

You didn't know what to think or do. Your thoughts were filled with unanswered questions and your body was frozen from the shock. You stood there until a voice pulled back into reality.

" Head back to class, Miss Henderson. The day isn't over yet." you looked at him, silently saying a quick goodbye and got out from his office. You stayed a bit on the hallway while recollecting your thoughts, until you made a decision.

" The day is over for me though."

You couldn't possibly stay here and pretend that all is well. That nothing is happening till the end of your lessons. You walked outside to the parking area and took ahold of your bike, speeding through the roads.

___

You were sitting for maybe forty minutes at the Byer's porch, waiting for either Jonathan or Joyce to return. Your heart was beating faster than it ever had before, your hands were trembling and cold sweat was running from your forehead. You were ready to start crying at the thought of what could have happened to Will, when you heard a familiar engine approaching.

You looked up and saw Jonathan and Joyce inside. When they got out you could see they didn't expect to see you here at all. you got up from where you were sitting and slowly went over to them.

" Hopper, he came into school and asked questions about Will. I knew something was happening ever since you called me in the morning, but I didn't know it was that serious." you felt tears in your eyes. Joyce saw that and pulled you in for a hug.

" We don't even know what's happening. What did Hopper ask you?" she sniffed when you broke your hug.

" He asked me to tell him what had generally happen last night when I took them from Mike's. How and when Will left by himself. Typical police stuff.. Oh! And he also mentioned Lonnie, like he would have anything to do with this."

" Oh, screw him with his Lonnie theory." she mumbled and hurried to get inside. You guessed he had talked to her about it too, a little too much.

Finally, your eyes fell on Jonathan, who looked just as exhausted as Joyce. You couldn't imagine what he was going through, both of them. If you felt bad, they must be feeling it ten times more. You immediately pulled him in your arms and he didn't miss a second returning it. He really needed that. You were one of the only people he could truly let his guard down.

" It's going to be okay.. All is gonna be well." you tried to reassure him with your words while your hand went up and down his back. It wasn't working, but it was the only thing you could do right now. How can you comfort a person who just lost a sibling? A son?

After a minute you felt Jonathan slip away from your arms. You looked up to see his eyes slightly red "I'm going to make a missing poster for Will, wanna help?"

" I'm sorry, but I wanna go and also check on Dustin. I just stopped by to see how you were. I'm pretty sure Hopper interrogated him as well and I don't know how he took it. This whole thing must have him so confused." you ran a hand through your hair and sighed.

" Hey, I get it.. All of us are really shaken up. Go find him." he gave you a weak smile that broke your heart. You wanted to stay with him a bit longer, you knew he needed it. A distraction from this mess. But you also both knew Dustin was just a kid with a missing friend. He was your priority for now.

" Call or leave a message if you need anything. I'll come in no time." he chuckled, agreeing to your statement "I'll come tomorrow morning for the posters, okay? Bye!" you rode, away waving back at him. He replied with a small and weak wave, before putting his hands on his pockets and headed inside.

Your head turned back on the dirt road, riding back towards the schools. This time the middle school. You were certain Dustin needed a break and taking him back home would be the best idea. School can wait.

~~~

I want to say a big thank you for all the people who are tolerating my ideas about this story and still wanting to keep up with it. I know I don't actually know you, but I love you guys! Also, another thank you for the new people joining in. It always feels nice when you see people enjoying something you put out there, so thank you all and I hope you like this first chapter!

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[alicemitch09writes]

(un)loving miya atsumu

fourteen.

loving miya atsumu

Dear Atsumu,

I hate how much your face is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about the word - ‘happiness’ and ‘love’. Happiness, because it radiates off your bones, no matter the situation, in court when up against strong opponents, thwarting plays with a setter dump or when you’re up serving, or when pulling off nasty quicks with your brother or any other player, off court when you fight with Osamu over the last ice cream at the convenience store, when you share a stupid joke with your dad, or even when you’re with the people you care about. Love, because you do everything with just the right to too much amount of love, pouring your everything in it, pouring your heart in the things that make you happy may it be volleyball, Osamu, your family, Mika- not a single wasted opportunity to convey your love and happiness. Nobody compares the way you do.

You’ve set a standard for almost everything, which is why you expect nothing for the best to be at the receiving end of both happiness and love.

I hope you know that to me; you are the embodiment of both happiness and love. Because I really hate how you remain the embodiment of these two words I have difficulty expressing.

Your name literally translates to 'to devour' and in a sense, you are someone who happily, readily accepts love and happiness on a daily basis, allowing it to fill you up to the core and share it with everyone.

You are everything that is everything – the sun after a stormy day, the sunshine in my veins, the kiss of the wind against my skin, the light to my darkness, my sunflower. You are everything to me, and to you, I offer, my whole heart, which you don’t have to worry returning, because it’s yours. Always has been.

     - (Y/N)’s letter, 1 out of 13

"MIKA!" launching yourself at your big sister, engulfing in a hug, the two of you laughed. Breaking away, you held your older sister an arm's length, taking her in. "You're home! You're here!" The excitement was evident in your tone, a bit of confusion as well, at the joyful arrival of your big sister.

"Just thought I'd surprise you!"

Frowning slightly, you ask again. "But how about school?"

"I'm on break!"

"Alexander and Pien?"

"The family's currently on vacation in Spain," sensing another question coming, she furthers. "the parents were the ones who arranged this trip, because they know it would mean the world to me and I would never want to miss my little sister's big day."

The grin on your face softened, engulfing your sister into a hug again. "I'm just so happy you're here,"

"Me, too."

Despite everything that went down, before anything else in the world, this was your sister – your best friend by design. After months apart, talking to her virtually for a year, having her in person was such a delight. Seeing her home was probably the best graduation gift you could ask more.

Swaying into your hug, relishing in the feeling of her touch, Mika slowly opens her eyes, seeing the twins, finally remembering that they weren't alone.

"Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" dropping the hug, she turns to the twins. "Atsumu, Osamu, hello!"

"Welcome back, Mika-nee," says Osamu.

"H-Hey Mika-nee," Atsumu stutters.

Something unsettled in your belly, coming at a screeching halt at the reunion. You could feel Osamu's eyes on you. Balling your hands into fists, you swallowed that ugly feeling, wearing a smile on.

"Shall we head inside?" Nobody seemed to notice the slight crack in your voice, which you were thankful for. Lowering your head, your eyes easily found your graduation pin, a reminder. 

Atsumu, however, seemed out of it. Even in the presence of his first love, he didn't seem the least happy to see her. In fact, he almost looked, dare you say, troubled.

While the three of you were taking off your shoes, the house filled with joyous noises from both families, you turned to the blond-dyed teen worriedly.

"Atsumu, are you alright?"

Is he alright? How was he supposed to feel? Mika was right there! Mika, the person he's been in love with since he was 9. Love, right? She's always been his standard, the perfect girl for some just as perfect as him. Boyfriend be damned. Mika was there. Mika was here. Shouldn't he be happy?

"Atsumu?" At the sound of your voice, he worked on a feeble smile, worrying you even more.

Snapping out of it, he quirks his lips up. Before you can say another word, his grandparents come barrelling down the hall to greet you three.

Atsumu's smile was worrying.

"How I've missed Japanese food!" Mika gushes at the table, eyes bright at the food on display – especially at the seafood, care of your uncle (of course).

Laughing, the twins' father turns to her. "What's wrong with Dutch food, Mika-chan?"

Aside from sushi, there was an assortment of dishes like tempura, sauteed vegetables, salad, grilled meat, roast beef and chicken, and two cakes. With a feast like this, calling for the occasion, it was enough to water anyone’s mouth.                                          

"It's alright, but kinda bland." they laugh at that.

You sat next to your sister, Kaoru on your other side. Across you sat the twins, Atsumu directly in front of you. Catching his eye, he quirked his lips up – smile seeming forced.

Your mom was all smiles, lifting her glass up. “Well now, let’s make a toast to our graduates!”

"To our bright and wonderful children!” your uncle seconds, joyfully, loudly. “To Atsumu, Osamu, and (Y/N)! Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Everyone was clinking their glasses against each other before digging in.

The adults were usually doing the talking, exchanging pleasantries about this and that, while the youngins were on a world of their own. It only made sense why the (extended) table was divided into two – young and old.

Lifting his gaze, Atsumu could see you chatting up with his grandparents, a pleasing and polite smile on your face. As his grandma was sharing about her newest hobby, you were wiping Kaoru’s face clean, much to the younger boy’s displeasure.

“Atsumu, I hear you’ve been scouted by a pro-league?”

Suddenly called by Mika, he was suddenly on the spot. Normally, he would preen, just to keep those bright (e/c) eyes on him. When in truth, he wants another pair of eyes on him.

“Oh, uh…yeah, that’s right.”

“Pfft, what kinda energy is that?” booms his dad’s voice, ringing throughout the room. “Give it more life, Atsumu!” Beside him, his mom pats her husband’s arm, smiling per usual, but had a loving look in her eyes.

“What team are you joining?”

“MSBY Black Jackals,” he replies, staring at his plate. “they’re based in Osaka.”

Atsumu still remembers the day you approached him, shared with him how a scout agent had approached you first, then asked for Atsumu’s contact information. He was so over the moon after you told him that.

“Oh! So it’s close by!”

“Yeah.”

“That’s nice, you don’t have to worry about university and just continue doing what you do best. I’m jealous.”

Atsumu works on a faint smile, happy to hear it.

You watched the whole exchange from the corner of your eye, taking a bite of sushi before washing it down with soda, swallowing down the lump in your throat as well.

“Nee-san,” something pat at the corners of your mouth, Kaoru grinning. “your mouth was messy!”

Smiling, you could only pat his head in gratitude. “Thank you, Kaoru.”

“And how about (Y/N)-chan?” the Miya’s grandmother asked you suddenly, bringing the attention to you.

Now at the center of attention, you set down your plate. “Um…I’ll be studying at Hiroshima University.”

“Hiroshima! That’s four hours away from here?” whines the twins’ mom, to which your uncle and mom shrugs easily.

“Well, it was her decision.”

“Waseda was also in her list, but she opted for Hiroshima University.”

Nearly choking on his drink, the twins’ father turns to you. “Wa-Waseda!?”

“Dad, calm down!” Atsumu berates, embarrassed. Beside him, Osamu just helps himself to another serving, handing his grandfather another, too.

“Don’t underestimate Waseda, Atsumu! That’s one of the most prestigious schools in Japan!”

Atsumu knows that very well, because you told them about it. Just that…

“Well, she didn’t pass.” Huffs your uncle, but goes on to explain rather excitedly. “So she went for the next big thing – Hiroshima University!”

“Dad, didn’t we already tell you this?” Osamu frowns, rice sticking to his cheek. “We also told you she passed the exams.”

Their dad deflated at that, scratching at his cheek. “A-Ah, eh…you know your old man, he’s getting old and his memory’s failing him.” Everyone in the table laughs, even young Kaoru!

“Still, Hiroshima’s a long way from here, (Y/N)-chan,” their grandfather turns to you. “Why not join Osamu at Kobe University? Or Atsumu in Osaka at Kansai University?”

Shrugging, you reached over to refill his glass. “I wanted a change of pace, I guess. Also,” sitting back, you brushed strands of hair behind your ear, exposing your conch piercing. “I had a bit of epiphany when we had our class excursion there.”

The adults smile at your words, Mika, most especially.

“Well, I know you’ll do well there which is why we want you to have this,” from his pocket, the twins’ grandfather produced three envelopes – for you, Osamu, and Atsumu. To say that the three of you were shocked would be an understatement. “Here,”

Ever so carefully, the three of you took the envelope with both hands.

“Go on, open it!” says their mom excitedly, recording with their phone.

“OH MY GOD MOM, YOU’RE EMBARRASSING US!”

“Open, open!” their grandmother clapped her hands excitedly, sharing the same sweet smile as her husband.

Glancing at each other, the three of you seemed to share the same idea.

“On three?”

Nod.

“One,”

“Two,”

“Three!”

Outside the window, the wind blew, sending a draft it in (L/N) household. One glance and you were greeted by a world painted in pink hues, blushes of nature come in falling petals – spring has come alright.

In your subdivision, there was only one cherry blossom tree that was planted in the playground just behind your house. At the epicentre of your neighbourhood, like a heartbeat that connected each household to its beating. When spring comes, it blooms, shedding off its petals, scattering against the wind everywhere – for everyone to see.

A chance to bring spring into their homes, to enjoy moments like these without having to worry about leaving. Like a hanami at home.

“Ohhh.”

“…we got money.”

“Granny, Gramps, thank you so much!”

“Use the money wisely now!”

“I’m jealous,” Mika tells you, watching the twins. “you three got to share moments like these, have been for years. But now,” her smile falters a bit. “you’re off on your separate ways. Will you be okay?”

Your big sister will always be your best friend, one deigned to you since you were born and because of blood. But having friends of your own was another story, especially worth noting just how quiet you can be, which is why when they moved to Hyogo and were introduced to the twins, it made her feel settled. The three of you were inseparable, always together, a bond she envied.

At this point in your life, there was no denying the consequences of growing up.

“We all have our own different dreams and ambitions, so it’s only normal that we chase after it.” Taking a sip of your drink, your eyes catch on Osamu. “Osamu’s not as ambitious as his brother, but he’s just as competitive – especially when it comes to his future and happiness.”

“True, but a shame that he’s not going pro like his brother, they would be such a team!”

It would, years of watching them grow together was enough of a testament. The most powerful twins in volleyball.

“They’ll always have volleyball and each other. But when it comes to happiness, that’s another story.” Recalling Osamu’s soft gaze on the finished onigiri he made, the tale he shared afterwards. “Osamu’s happiness in with cooking and food.”

Humming, Mika takes her own drink, sipping in.

“And the thing with Atsumu is that’s he’s always looking forward, never once settling on the past knowing that it will hold him back. In fact, he’s always looking ahead that he tends to forget what he’s doing in present time.”

“It sounds like he’s taken to heart your club motto, huh? ‘We don’t need memories’.”

It was such a powerful motto – moving and inspiring all at once. From the moment your eyes saw Inarizaki’s banner when you were young to the moment you became manager, that motto has stuck with you the most. You love that motto, love its implication and even took it by heart.

“We can’t always be ruled by our past after all.” You set your drink down. “How else are we going to move forward?”

Atsumu stared at the ceiling before him, having given up tossing and turning for the past few hours. After the third hour, he threw in the towel – he was restless, unable to fall asleep from everything that’s happened today. It’s as though he found himself at an impasse – unsure of what he’s been holding on to, unable to comprehend how he should feel with everything going on.

Mika was home. Feelings he’s had for her…surfaced. He thinks. Atsumu broke into a sigh, sitting up, he was a mess.

Suddenly, he heard rummaging from below him, muted light glowing from below.

“’Samu?” he called out.

“Ah, shit.” Osamu craned his head, meeting his eyes. “Sorry, ‘Tsumu. Did I wake you?”

Shaking his head, Atsumu noted that Osamu was dressed up. “Where’re you headed?”

“Out.” He pockets his phone and wallet away.

“By yourself?” When his brother shakes his head, Atsumu shifts from his spot, asking again. “With whom?”

“…with (Y/N).”

Atsumu was silent for a while, coming to realization how Osamu sneaks out a lot in the past. It shouldn’t be a question and should be easy to tell who he usually hung out with late at night.

“Can I come?”

Osamu’s blinked at that. Atsumu waits, hopes. He watches as his brother looks at his phone, then back to his brother. Eventually, he exhales through his nose, wearing a half-smile as he nods slowly.

“Yeah, come on.”

Smiling, Atsumu feels excited as he gets down from his bunk and quickly changes. Following his brother's lead, ever so quietly the twins trudge out of the house, careful not to make any loud noises (which honestly, they shouldn't even bother for everyone in their family were heavy sleepers), door closing shut behind him. It amazed Atsumu how his brother does it all with practiced eased.

Spring evening was chilly, biting at his skin, nipping his nose. Good thing he thought of putting on his hoodie.

Together, the twins head out their house, bypassing their gate and turn, towards the (L/N) house next door where a figure waited.

Dressed in an oversized hoodie that stopped by your mid thighs, gazing up at the night sky in thought, in waiting.

"Yo, (Y/N)."

Lowering your head, (e/c) eyes widened slightly once realizing your best friend didn't come alone. At this, Atsumu raised a hand in greeting.

"Hey, (Y/N). Mind if I tag along?"

You shrug easily, standing to your full height. "Sure, why not."

Spring night was cool and crisp, biting almost – remnants from winter’s past.

Three teens walk along their quiet neighbourhood, cruising along houses for some few blocks until reaching a brightly lit establishment just next to the main road.

Upon entering the store, the cashier – a smiling, tired-looking woman, nods at Osamu and you, eyes shining in familiarity. A recurrence, it seems. Despite the wee hours of the night, the stillness of the silence, bright lights flooded the establishment with a multitude of goods lined up, budget meals prepped and ready, everything seemed liked a sight for any customer.

Following after Osamu, the two cruised through the aisles, his brother grabbing some chips and a seasonal onigiri, the twins nearly towering over. Reaching the end, he felt a chill, realizing he was by the frozen section, with you eyeing the selection with pursed lips.

"Aren't you full from all the food we ate earlier?" Atsumu laughs, standing next to you.

"Lest you forget, Osamu has a black hole for a stomach. I'm on my period, so I have cravings." Saying this, you stare at the selection of ice cream.

"How about curfew?" You were such a stickler for rules, this was so new to him.

Shrugging, you picked up strawberry and chocolate brownie. "Osamu and I sometimes pass off as adults. Plus, this neighborhood tends to be complacent when it comes to curfew."

He smirks. "So you're using that to your advantage, huh? Smart girl."

Your only reply was bumping your shoulder against his, putting the strawberry ice cream in his hands. Which he decidedly takes.

Over your meals, the three of you share laugh, meals, and talks. Unable to help himself, and taking a page from his mother, Atsumu takes a selfie to commemorate the moment, uploading instantly to his social media.

To any other bystander – or whoever sees Atsumu’s selfie, it was nothing more than a teenage hang out with your childhood friend and brother. Rather picturesque of perfect innocence, measured smiles, occasional banter highlighted only by the lights of the sleepy convenience store, saturated by the spring evening.

A moment that sent a lurch down each of your hearts at the knowledge that moments like these were numbered. Caught up in the moment, Atsumu desperately wished for time to freeze, wishing his life was always like this.

Nostalgia filled the night, between childhood friends – like that year of silence meant nothing. It was enough to choke Atsumu, bring him to tears with how much he's missed this. Memories from his past painted into his present with bright hues and ink, he wanted them to stay, etched on his skin - unready to have them washed away when the morning comings.

Late-night snacks ended up with the twins sneaking their game console to the (L/N)'s household, talks continue even as you three were playing video games until the wee hours of the morrow, filled with more talks that piled conversation over conversation, talking as though they had a clue – leaving you all breaking into fits of silly laughter.

Just as you landed second in Mario Kart, Osamu conked out first.

"I swear, he sleeps like a fucking log," Atsumu says, watching you carefully set Osamu's head on your lap, patting his head gently.

Smiling softly, you carefully take the blanket you snuck and tucked him in, and yourself, too. Atsumu stood to turn off the console and the TV, filling the room in darkness. However, the glow from the moon outside was enough to illuminate the living room.

"You'll be heading off to Hiroshima, right?" he whispers, reaffirming the question thrown to you earlier that day, you nod. "Wow,” sitting next to you, on the edge of the sofa, he settles in. “big step."

"I figured that I'd like to open my horizon, have a new pace."

Atsumu remembered the peaceful look on your face when they had their class excursion there, smiling at the memory and a bit on the history of the city.

"Like a fresh new beginning, huh?"

Nodding, eyes beginning to droop, Atsumu carefully brings your head to his chest, falling back. "Like you...you'll be off to Osaka...for MSBY Black Jack'ls" you slur. "Osamu's staying here..."

Humming, he brushes away hair from your face, listening to your voice against Osamu's snores.

"You seem t'be doin' fine," he almost laughs at how thick your Kansai was when you were on the brink of sleep. "'ve always been." Taking an inhale, through your exhale you say, "you don't need me, Atsumu, you never have." and then you slipped off to sleep.

How he envied the friendship you had with Osamu, the one thing that connected you both in the first place. Taking your left hand in his, fingers slotting together, scarred fingers touching against each other, he noses at your forehead, lips a hairsbreadth away from your skin.

“Oh, you have no idea just how wrong you are, (Y/N).” lips pressed the lightest kiss, the moon and the stars as his witness. “I’ll always need you.”

You must've heard him in your sleep, because you were smiling, adorably. It was the last sight he saw before Atsumu slipped off, as well. 

Dawn broke out slowly, as it always did in Hyogo, light streaming, searching almost for signs of life in the living room. With the sun slowly making its way up, light follows upwards, eventually finding three bodies knocked out in the living room - sleeping rather awkwardly with two boys sandwiching a girl, peaceful, lost in silence. Somewhat, it was a familiar sight.

Waking up to the smell of breakfast, Atsumu woke with a start, blinking wearily as he took in his surroundings. Right, he snuck out with Osamu and stayed over at the (L/N)’s.

Lifting his head, a ghost of a smile found its way on his face when a mop of (h/c) came to view, your hand still in his. Strands of hair littered your face, which he quickly swept away, causing you to stir.

"Good morning, sleepyheads!" a cheery voice greeted from the kitchen. "Hope you like pancakes!"

Fresh out of bed, with her hair in a messy bun with an apron on was Mika, she looked pretty, adorable even. Atsumu should've been happy by the sight of this, captivated even. But he felt nothing.

At the mention of pancakes, Osamu sleepily lifts his head, in alert, eyes still pinched close. Slowly, you rose from Atsumu’s chest, having used it as a pillow last night, rubbing at your eyes.

“Mornin’ (Y/N),” he laughs.

Blinking your eyes open, with the sight of Atsumu in front of you, between his legs, realizing your sleeping position from last night, instantly your face heated, darkened. “A-Atsumu! A-Ah…Um…G-Good morning…” folding his legs back, he did a stretch, Osamu slowly coming to beside you. “Did you sleep well? Does your neck hurt? Your back?”

Your concern was honestly adorable – like your morning self, it made his heart warm.

“No worries, I slept great!”

True to his word, the rest of the morning went swimmingly over heaps of pancake and another selfie.

“I fear you’ll be taking after your mother in that aspect.”

“Wow, selfie whore.”

“SHUT IT, ‘SAMU!”

After breakfast, the twins had to head back home, to greet their grandparents while you started packing. When lunch came, the twins were back – freshly changed and all. At the sight of them, your mom couldn’t help gushing that ‘it takes me back!’ to which your uncle laughed at heartily, welcoming the boys in before they both left for work.

“Oi, Kaoru what’re you doing?” Osamu asked, watching how as your brother stood on a dining chair he grabbed, pushed it against the wall as he reached up, tying something by the window.

Squinting, you asked. “Is…that a teru teru bozu?”

“Yep!” he smiled, letting the doll face outside, getting another balled-up doll from his pocket. “Nee-san’s birthday’s in a few days, don’t want it to rain then!”

“Kaoru, aren’t you a little too old for superstitions?”

“I’m only 13!”

“Yes, but there’s no scientific proof that they prevent rain from coming. Plus, it’s spring, it’s not so hot of a season for rain to fall.”

Miffed by your explanation, he turned, nearly toppling over had he not righted himself quickly. “You don’t know that, nee-san!” Kaoru hopped off the chair, pouting at you.

“Yeah, what the brother boy said!” Atsumu seconded.

“Better safe than sorry!”

You could only sip on your drink in reply, hiding the smile. Osamu gave you a funny look, amused.

“Plus, it has to be sunny on nee-san’s birthday! We’re going to-“ before Kaoru could finish, Mika appeared, slapping a hand on his mouth.

“Hey, how about I make us pasta for lunch?”

Instantly, Kaoru’s face brightened. “Yay, pasta!”

“By the way, (Y/N),” she calls to you. “Reiki’s coming over with the pizza you like that his friend makes, the spinach one and garlic shrimp?”

At the mention of the aforementioned pizzas, your lips quickly quirk up. It was so hard to find those specific flavors around Kobe, the last time you had them was probably before Mika left. Thankfully, Reiki, being the social butterfly that he was, knew a lot of people.

“Your boyfriend has my many thanks,”

Mika laughs, making you realize a little too late on the words that left your mouth. Sliding your eyes to Atsumu, you were surprised to find that he seemed relatively fine, cordial even.

When Reiki came with the pizzas later, pasta ready and waiting, you all feasted, but not before Atsumu insisted on a selfie with everyone.

“I swear, you’re turning to Ma and it’s scaring me,” Osamu tells his brother with a disgusted frown.

“Watch your mouth, ‘Samu that’s still our Ma!” Atsumu angrily bites off his pizza. “Is it so wrong to capture moments frozen in time!?”

“Wow, that was a rather poetic way of saying it,” you noted, nodding your thanks at Reiki would gave you two slices each of the pizzas.

“Come on now, let’s not fight!” Reiki says calmly, undeterred by the twins. “Let’s just eat, yeah?”

A long-distance relationship seemed to work fine for your sister and Reiki. Clearly, distance makes the heart fonder with how lovey-dovey they seemed. A peek over at Atsumu, and you’d half-expect him to go batshit crazy. But no. If anything, he seemed perfectly fine.

“Atsumu, do you have a minute?”

As Atsumu walked off with your sister, you could only watch, lips quirking into a smile. For some reason, you felt fine with that, too.

It was probably when they first moved to Hyogo that Atsumu’s eyes fell to Mika, the ever-smiling, ever-kind oldest daughter. There were plenty of reasons to like her: she was pleasant, polite, pretty, smart, athletic, and kind. For years, Atsumu has always set her as his standard for his ideal woman, even assured himself that he was at her level (which shouldn’t be so hard, thanks to his genetics).

For the first time in the forever, he thought of finally confessing to her his feelings, that chance that he’s waiting for so long.

And yet, as the two enter the backyard, the door sliding shut behind him, Atsumu turns to Mika, with a question that’s been burning on to the back of his head for a while now.

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh?" Mika looks up in surprise, letting go of the door handle.

"Why'd you to talk to him?" Atsumu felt his patience running thin, anger building.

Mika's perfect face falls into confusion, exposing the cracks underneath. This was clearly not what she intended to talk about, but Atsumu didn’t care, he was leading this conversation now. Honestly, it feels like he’s finally seeing her for who she really is – for the first time, the rosy lenses he had of her were torn away.

Him, being their dad.

Pressing her lips together, a fist to her mouth, contemplating on her response. "...I just...I wanted..."

"A connection?" he finishes for her, an educated guess.

Mika nodded. "He's still my dad, you know? I just thought...I could get to know him..."

"And that hurt (Y/N) in the process," Atsumu threw out, rather impatiently, almost accusingly. "did you know that?"

Pain crosses over her face, bleeding through from her eyes down to the upturn of her lips, hands fisting on her chest.

"Maybe you wanted a relationship with him,” shaking his head, he thinks of you “but not (Y/N)." Of all his memories with you, one where he's caught your eyes on their dad, feeling his stomach twist at the longing in your eyes, hurt him the most. You may have had your uncle, but having your own father was a different thing. You told him that Mika was studying psychology, he couldn’t help but think how ironic that was.

"I'm not perfect, Atsumu."

Atsumu scoffed. "Don't I know that?"

He was an older sibling himself. Older by five minutes, he was still regarded as the oldest, has as much responsibility despite that minute difference.

"Older siblings aren't perfect," Mika says. "We make mistakes, we hurt people, even our siblings." She very clearly wanted to discuss something else, something that clearly wasn’t this. But now that Atsumu’s taken control, she felt herself lose rights.

"Did you tell him about our graduation?"

Mika fell silent, mouth pulled into a line.

That was enough of an answer.

Atsumu tried to imagine how the young you must have felt, the horrors you had to face, to witness, how your young, impressionable mind just paused and came to a screeching halt, to a horrible realization of how fucked up everything was now - he could only feel immeasurable pain, choking him. When that happened, did it also take away the life and spark in your eyes? The joy of life?

He loved his dad very much, his dad was one of the best men in his life who always encouraged him and Osamu to pursue their dreams, always at the frontline for them, and loved his whole family. Had he done what your dad did, he would also feel just as crushed. What he did was inexcusable – to you, to Mika, to your brother, to your mom. Scums like him didn't deserve a second chance.

"I can't believe you did that."

Without waiting for her to reply, Atsumu walked back inside the house, back to where his brother and you were.

Late at night, you stare up at the ceiling, hugging ‘Inari’ – the fox plushie given to you by the trouble children – close to your chest. Mind filled with thoughts, just swimming over you.

Earlier, Atsumu had walked back in the house, the same worrying smile from a few days ago, eyes losing its usual luster. Yet, he assured you that it was nothing, ruffling your hair affectionately.

Mika then walked back in the house, all smiles – but even she had a weary looking smile. Before you could approach her, Reiki rushed to her side and the two scurried to the kitchen. Thankfully, Kaoru, hadn’t picked up on this, busy trying to beat his two nii-sans in Smash.

Shifting your head to the side, to where Mika’s bed was, your sister was dead to the world, deep in her slumber – peaceful and calm. Lifting yourself from your bed, covers dropping, ever so carefully you dropped your feet to the cold floor. Still hugging Inari, you walked away from your bed and to one of the boxes, staring at the contents – some books, stationary.

Bending down, you dig through, careful not to make a sound. From the box, you pulled out a wooden picture frame, hand painted blue, with sunflowers sticking on the top left, a few petals on the upper and lower. And in frame was the photo of the Inarizaki Volleyball Club. It was taken the moment everyone returned from Tokyo. Smiling fondly, fingers smoothed over the sunflowers, taking in everyone’s smiles.

At the center of the photo was you, sandwiched between Atsumu and Osamu, wearing wide grins. When your juniors handed you the frame, you were so sure you’d break out then and there. But it didn’t end there, because Coach Kurosu – tears spilling down his face, gave you his gift, too. Gently setting Inari down, frame sitting next to him, you plucked a small, thick, black cloth.

Sitting crossed legged, you opened it up, smiling at the familiar kanji of the club’s motto.

‘We Don’t Need Memories’

“Such a powerful statement,” you whisper into the silence.

Kita once shared that he wasn’t a fan of the motto – being a man brought by the small things, on how doing the minimum on a daily basis is already enough of an assurance for any needless worries. Yet, it fires him up when he’s up with his team mates.

Coach Kurosu also mentioned, overly fond of the motto, that nothing should ever hold you back from the challenges that life will hurl at you.

Smoothing over the smooth kanji characters, a wave of memories rushed over you – first stepping into the gym, applying as manager the same time the twins had their try-outs, introducing yourself as manager before the twins engulfed you into a hug, seeing Aran again, meeting Kita and the rest of your seniors, meeting Suna, Ginjima, and the rest of the team, being there when the twins got their jerseys, their first official match, making your way to nationals, the twins debuting their dyed hairs, the incident, Kita’s captaincy, him berating you for resigning and convincing you to stay, the painful and cold second year, walking out during preliminaries, breaking down in the club room, having to tell Atsumu he was chosen for the Youth Camp, meeting Sho-chan at nationals, resigning only to be brought back, arcades with the trouble children, sunflowers given by the juniors on your birthday, training in Asano and Yoshimichi, training the new recruits, warmer days in the club, nationals with with Sho-chan, smacking Atsumu in the face, the retirement and turning over, graduation – so many great memories, good and bad. They were definitely the time of your life, if not, the greatest. A chapter that’s come to a close, but filled with so many turning points.

Patting the banner affectionately, a single tear slips down your face, landing on the banner, what a deep tangent you’ve found yourself in.

March 23, your birthday.

It fell on a Sunday, on a perfect sun shiny day, just as your family had expected.

On your birthday, it was decided that it would be spent at Sunflower Hill Park at Ono. Seeing as it was a special day, everyone had to dress their best – you included, being the birthday girl. Mika immediately busied herself prettying you up, even getting you to finally wear the dress that Kita had gifted you sometime back. It’s been gathering dust in the closet since he gave it, unsure on when to wear it.

“It’s just my birthday,” you grumbled, Mika immediately shushing you busily brushing your hair aside to work on your eyes, her face pinched into concentration.

“It’s not ‘just your birthday’, (Y/N).” she says, lighting brushing over your eyes. Setting down her eyeshadow palette, she picks up a blush set, instructing you to smile, exposing your dimples.

“19,” you say aloud, announcing to the world freely. “I’m at the peak of my adulthood.”

“You know, you’ve always been an adult all your life.” Mika teases, brush circling your dimples. “But that doesn’t mean you should be down on your birthday.”

“Studies show that it’s only natural to have birthday disappointments the older you get.” You rebuke, watching her frown cutely, setting her blush down, brandishing a mascara in her hand.

“And studies also show that you don’t always have to have that kind of mindset,” she rebukes back, twirling her mascara madly before taking out the wand. “Open your eyes and look up.”

Gulping, you do as she says, feeling the wand passing down your lashes.

“Birthday disappointments can also be stemmed from high expectations – either from childhood or from adolescence. And here’s the hard truth: you actually want to celebrate your birthday, but you just don’t know how to tell people.”

Capping her mascara, she instructs you to close your eyes, which you do, before you’re assaulted with a mist-like spray all over your face. When she tells you to open, you find yourself staring at yourself in the mirror – struck at the person staring back at you. Mika did a great job, highlighting your features, brightening your whole face, it was easy to see now the resemblance between you two.

“We’re not mind readers, (Y/N), we’re your family. And because we love you, we want to celebrate the day you came to bless our lives,” Mika smiles, smoothing your hair.

Helping you put on your dress, even lending you her sandals, she added some finishing touches like earrings and a sun brim hat.

“I look like those stereotypical animes shown in the summer.” You comment about your reflection in the mirror, to which Mika rolls her eyes at.

“Would you stop, you look beautiful!”

Taking her words with a grain of salt – seeing how pretty she was in her own dress, you smiled and the two of you walk out the room.

“Are you two done, now- Ah, how pretty!” coos your mother, pressing her hands to her mouth, eyes watering.

“Mom, you’re being dramatic-“

“My girls are so pretty! Especially the birthday girl!”

Beside you, Mika looks pleased with herself, especially at her work.

“Happy birthday, sweetie,” says your mom, taking your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

Swallowing down hard, fighting off tears that have strangely formed, you smile at her. “Thanks mom.”

“Alright, let’s go down now! Everyone’s waiting for us!”

Anxiety rose up, heart in your chest as you three descended the stairs, where you could hear people chatting about in the living room. Everyone was there – your uncle, Kaoru, Reiki, the Miyas, even the twins. It was Atsumu who saw you first, doing a double take, taking you in.

And then his mom squealed at the sight of you. “Ah!!!!! (Y/N)-chan, you look so pretty!” everyone turns to you, much to your horror. “Happy birthday, sweet girl!” she says.

“…thank you, Auntie.” Your voice was quiet, raspy.

Being the center of attention, everyone’s smiles on you was unnerving.

Self-consciously, you duck under their gazes, face burning.

To your surprise, your family had long planned this together with the Miyas. What made it extra special was the fact that it was just days after the three of you graduated and of Mika’s return. An outing of two families, in a field of little suns spread across the field.

At the sight of tall, bright yellow and brown flowers, your eyes sparkled in child-like wonder. Sensing your excitement, Mika, with her uncle’s camera slung around her neck, hooked her arm around yours, giggling and pulling you further in the park, leaving Atsumu and the rest to follow after.

The adults were discussing amongst themselves, discussing where they should set up, Reiki happily stuck around them, ever ready to help around, while Kaoru was running off to join his sisters. Alone with his brother, Osamu elbows him.

"Is something wrong with you and Mika-nee?" Osamu asks him, feeling the breeze against his skin.

On the way to Ono, with the twins, you, Mika, and Reiki, in Reiki’s car, there was a noticeable avoidance between Atsumu and Mika. However, the two easily played it off. Mika was busy chatting up with her boyfriend, Atsumu looked over your shoulder, as you answered birthday greetings.

Even way before that, the two of them were masterful in their way of seeming fine, but when they interacted, it felt rather stiff.

Sighing, Atsumu’s eyes found Kaoru, who was giggling as Mika was getting you to pose in front of flowers, you, clearly embarrassed, tried to talk your way out of it.

"I confronted her about their dad," Atsumu grumbles, hands in his pocket. Eventually, you caved in your sister’s whims, posing demurely, before Kaoru cheered you to try other poses.

Osamu's eyes widened. "Are you an idiot!? Why would you-"

"Did you know that she also told him about our graduation?"

Osamu stopped at that, at its implication, their eyes going to the older (L/N) sister, showing the photos to you.

"Damn."

"I know. Pretty shitty of her."

"Wow, 'Tsumu badmouthing Mika-nee, that's new."

Scoffing, he lifted his head to meet his brother’s. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Shrugging easily, Osamu explains, as their parents walk southward into the park, where an open area for picnic was. "Almost a year ago, you were nothing but praises for her, wouldn’t shut up about her on and on and on.” Breathing out a laugh, he shakes his head when he adds. “Heck, even if she farted you'd think it was cute."

Atsumu's face wrinkles, cringes. "That was before."

“Still,” walking ahead, he stares his brother down, feeling a chill run down his spine. “you never let us forget. Never let (Y/N) forget that.”

Up ahead, the (L/N) siblings were soon joined by Reiki, who took the camera from Mika, opting to take photos of the siblings. (Y/N), who was sandwiched between her older and younger sibling, all smiles for the camera.

“A year ago, it was as though your mission was to make (Y/N) feel so shitty about yourself, all because of your stupid little crush. It took her finally deciding to leave for you to snap out of it.”

Swallowing thickly, Atsumu vaguely remembered that moment of panic, like something had clawed into his chest. Immediately, he feels a sense of shame – for everything he had done to you.

"'Tsumu, you realize that you never said you're sorry to (Y/N), right?"

The hardest pill to swallow was realizing that despite the year he’s had, devoted to making up to you, it just wasn’t enough. Actions may speak louder than words, but just saying those words were just as important. Especially because it was worth noting that, sometimes, Atsumu’s actions can be contradicting to his words and may confuse you. You, who’s suffered quietly all this time, who forced themselves to power through, who unselfishly put others before yourself.

“I’m way past that now,” determination was thick in his tone, strong in his words.

Osamu felt proud to see it, loved to see it. They were nearing their parents – who finally found a nice picnic spot, just right next to the playground hustle.

"Didn't you say that Mika-nee was your one true love?" he couldn’t help but say, egging on his brother, never letting him down on his fuck up.

Osamu nearly fell back as Atsumu tackled him, slapping a hand to his mouth, lest anyone heard it. "KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, SHITTY 'SAMU!"

"Wasn't she though!?"

"I was a kid!" he reasoned out. "I didn't know shit!"

"Clearly still don't now!" Osamu yelled slapping his brother's hand away from his face.

"FUCK YOU!"

"Now, now, Atsumu, Osamu, no fighting on (Y/N)'s special day!" calls their dad, hands on his hips. Beside him was their mom, smiling as she took photos of the sunflowers all around them.

"Oh, oh, oh, sweetie, let's take a photo with the birthday girl!" hooking her arm around her husband's she didn't give him time to back out before dragging him with her, smiling sweetly at her sons. "And no fighting, Atsumu, Osamu, it's a special day!"

Speaking of special day, Atsumu’s eyes turned to the fields, where you were – feeling his heart settle at your familiar frame, your gentle expression as you gazed at the vibrant yellow sunflowers. He remembered that field trip when they were younger, remembered where your eyes were staring, dug through the display when no one was looking and snuck it in his bag, feeling giddy all over, remembered the smile that came to your face.

It was brighter than any of the sunflowers.

Under the clear blue skies, the sun was shining bright, smiling down on everyone – especially a particular group down at Ono Sunflower Hill Park, circling a girl dressed in white, balloons in hands, all wearing smiles as they sang to greet her.

Their singing echoed out in the field, the wind carrying on their love for the girl in the middle, the girl whose heart was just filled with love with everyone around her.

A simple white cake, decorated in the same flowers that surrounded them was presented to her, and a single candle stood alit, waiting.

When the singing dwindled down, the girl stared at her cake, closed her eyes, and then blew.

She was now 19.

What a lovely day to be loved, feel loved, and be celebrated by love.

Emboldened by his talk with Osamu, brought also by epiphany, Atsumu finds himself carefully approaching Mika.

“Mika-nee, can we talk?”

Reiki, having sensed the mood, excused himself, but not before kissing his girlfriend on the forehead and taking Kaoru with him away from the playground.

Squirming under his gaze, remembering his blow-up on her days before, she fixes him a pleading look. "Atsumu, look, I don't want to fight with you-"

"I'm not sorry for blowing up on you like that, Mika-nee.” He starts, meaning every word. “But I am sorry for intruding into your family business. I just care for (Y/N), she's..." he swallows thickly. "she's been through so much."

Mika’s expression softens, eyes shining. "You really care a great deal about (Y/N), huh?"

“Always have, always will.”

“I’m glad.”

Mika smiles sweetly at him, fiddling with her hands. “It’s just…he’s still my dad, what he did was unforgivable, but the idea of reconnecting with him,” she sniffles, wiping a tear. “how could I not? And then I thought, that maybe (Y/N) would be on board with the idea…” she shakes her head, laughing incredulously. “Clearly, I forgot that I can’t force it on her, can’t fix the trauma he did.” Her face pinches, pained and regret.

The old Atsumu would have rushed and comforted her, assured her that she did great. Emphasis on the old, the Atsumu now just stared, letting her wallow on her mistake.

Covering her face, she groaned into it, before fixing herself up, slapping her cheeks together. “Wooh! How embarrassing of me! Looks like I’ve got a long way to go!” she laughs. Atsumu can’t help but laugh with her.

Even now, her ability to smile through the pain, shoulder her burdens, amazes him. There was a reason he admired this young woman before him, but seeing her open up to her flaws made him admire her even more.

And then he felt it, the urge, something clawing at his chest, words that needed to be said.

“Mika-nee, actually,” the older girl looks up at him, waits patiently. “I…I like you.” Back when he was younger, he had envisioned the perfect confession – something almost like this, with the sun setting behind them, painting them in the afterglow. That was one of his two options for confessing, the other being in the letter he poured his heart in, with your help. “I liked you, Mika-nee.”

It feels freeing to finally say that, to let the person know how much they meant to them. Even if it were no longer the case.

She smiles, sweetly again. “I know.”

Atsumu looks up at her, surprised. Mika’s smile remains.

“E-Eh?”

“I received your letter,” his eyes widen, confusion crawling over. “(Y/N) snuck it into my things before I left for the Netherlands.”

You did that for him? You.

Looking back, his eyes could only widen, realizing that it had been during the incident. Atsumu is assaulted with guilt all over again, brought by your unselfishness, just unsure with what he could say.

“I always thought that it would be the two of you, you know? You three were thick as thieves, enough to rival the three musketeers. But you and (Y/N)? I always felt like there was a great bond between you two.”

“N-Nee-san…actually…I-“ Everything he did to you in the year following the incident came to mind, his self-hate rising, Mika deserved to know.

Instead, she gently shakes her head. “It’s not me you should be telling that to, Atsumu. It’s (Y/N).” taking his arm in her hand, she cups his chin, (e/c) eyes meeting his honey browns, smiling and squeezing on to him arm encouragingly. “Go.”

Coming to, he nods and quickly starts running. Before fully leaving the playground, Mika calls him. “Oh, and Atsumu? Thank you so much for your feelings!”

“Osamu,”

“Hm?”

“Remember when you told me about your first love?”

“…yeah.” He sighs, heavily. “The umeboshi to my onigiri.”

“That’s a funny analogy,” with your arm over his, you leaned against his shoulder as the two of you walked along the pat. “but very fitting for someone you love.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it off. What’s yours?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” you look to the field.

“Ah, yes.” Osamu nods, following your gaze. “Sunflowers.”

Leaning against his arm, you murmur. “…he’s my sunflower, Osamu.”

Osamu doesn’t say anything for a while, watching how Kaoru and Reiki raced beside them. Two people missing from their group. “I know he is.”

“And you’re my chicken noodle soup.”

He snorts, looking down at you. “Why?”

“It’s my comfort food, remember? Also, you’re my best friend. You should feel honored.”

“Strange analogy you got there.” He waves at his grandparents, enjoying themselves watch the children play in the fountains.

“Not as strange as your umeboshi and onigiri,” you remind him, teasingly.

Rolling his eyes at that, he can’t deny the gentleness of your voice, its weight and wistfulness.

“Thanks for being my best friend, Osamu.”

Patting his hand over yours, he replies. “Always.”

Breaking away, you smile gratefully at him. He lets you walk off from him, taking a new path.

“Stop sounding like you’re about to die, (Y/N). S’not funny.”

Laughing, you could only tuck your hands behind you. “I’m just feeling nostalgic!”

“Where’re you going?”

“For a walk!”

“Geez, aren’t you tired of walking?”

“Nope,” and you walk further in the new path, Osamu watches you go, but doesn’t follow.

With all his heart, he wishes, for your birthday, all the best for you. Keeping his eyes on white, it slowly shrinks as you walk further and further, away and away, until you were out of sight.

Huffing and puffing, he looked around wildly, searching for (h/c) in a white dress. Atsumu almost cursed at how big of an area the park was, felt pathetic that he was winded out after some runs – he was a fucking athlete, god damn it! About to join a pro-fucking-league-

"Are you looking for someone?" a voice asked him, turning, Atsumu nearly sagged in relief when he found who he was looking for.

You.

"You," he says breathlessly, lips stretched into a wide smile.

Your face scrunched into a light frown, wondering, before producing a handkerchief in your hands, patting his sweaty face. “Have you been running around the park?”

“Nah, just now.” Your frown softens a bit. “Like I said, I was looking for you.”

Tilting your head to the side, confused, you asked. “Why?”

Atsumu opened his mouth, only to stop, realization getting the best of him. Shiiiiiiit.

Suddenly shy, he laughed it off, nervously, uncaring that people were looking at him funny. Concerned washed over your features, which warmed him from the inside, especially with you looking at him all pretty like that. But heck, even without the makeup, you were something else.

“Come on,” you opened a hand to him, an invitation.

Atsumu stared at it, at the scar on your middle finger. Placing his in yours, his larger hand over yours, the two of you began to walk hand-in-hand. You took him by the fields, deep in, as though to hide you amongst the flowers, to be one with them, to a secret place for you both.

For all his life, he couldn’t imagine having to miss out on the feeling, like everything he’s known his whole life is nothing compared to the bright, vibrant yellows and browns around him, in the girl dressed in white, leading him through. And he let you.

How is it that he’s never noticed? Why had he never thought of seeing you? It feels as though he’s led a life blind.

With a tug, the two of you exit the field and into a clearing, all Atsumu can focus on was your smile.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” you laugh, walking a few steps to the path. “walking across a sunflower field, I mean.”

Atsumu can’t keep his eyes off your smile, even as the both of you sit on the grass, facing the famed 'Sunflower Tower' made of Mikage granite.

The two of you found yourselves in your little hideaway, with nothing but the sky, the sun, the flowers, and the tower, and of course, each other.

“Sounds like something fresh outta a fairy tale,”

Nodding, you fold your legs, drawing your knees near. “Sunflowers are quite tall, after all. Tall and tough flowers.”

“Like me?”

Laughing, your turn to him, staring at him for a while. “Maybe. Especially with your blond dye.”

At the mention of his hair, he runs a hand through it. “…I’m, uh, thinking of keeping it.”

“You should,” your eyes follow his hands carding through his hair, dark roots slowly showing through. “it’ll be your signature look.”

Running a hand through the back of his hair, he fists them there, unable to look away from you.

You.

Amazing, smart, patient, kind, selfless, beautiful you.

“(Y/N)…” your name came easy through his mouth.

Tilting your head, letting strands of hair slip off your shoulders, you parrot back, “Atsumu…”

Just when did everything seem to feel different between you two? And just how long had he missed the way you look bathed in the sunlight?

Fidgeting a little, Atsumu could feel his strength leave him, being at the receiving end of your gaze. However, looking up, he also draws strength from them.

“I, uh, I kept them,” at your frowned confusion, he shyly – oh so quietly, adds, “your letters.”

Immediately, your face burns, feeling goosebumps run all over your spine. “Ugh,” slapping your hands over your eyes, you wish you could also slap the cringe away. “why.”

Atsumu smiles, despite your apparent horror, shrugging easily.

“It’s a reminder, I guess. A reminder that someone actually liked me. Genuinely and truly. Thought of me. Appreciated me. Written and practically poured her heart out in paper, when it’s the fucking twenty first century. Living proof that someone did that for me, but I was the asshole who humiliated her for something so genuine and heartfelt.”

You would’ve argued then and there, having seen the many love letters he and his brother received from his fan club over the years. And yet, the only one he recognizes are yours.

“Atsumu,” words were failing you, so you just sighed. “that’s behind us now.”

But the look on his face wouldn’t go away, eyes darkening – a dangerous storm brewing, festering.

"You can't return my feelings,” you say kindly. “that's not your fault neither is it your problem."

"Y-Yeah, but I could at least try to-"

"Atsumu, stop. Just, stop.” Turning to him, you take his hand in yours – the one with a scar, fingers rubbing comfortingly. “Please.” You’ve thought about it for a while, a long while, it needed to be said. “I'm not going to force you to like me back, it's not right and it's just wrong. Just because I liked you doesn't mean you're obligated to return my feelings when you clearly don't like me like that. That's that."

"B-But-"

"Besides, I've already accepted it – that my feelings can't reach you." swallowing down it all - the heartache and pain, you lifted your gaze and offered a smile. "If all you're worried about is me forgiving you, rest assured that I have."

"But I don't deserve your forgiveness!" he all but screams, shocking you, his eyes were wet and filled with so much remorse, pain, helplessness, and regret. "I've been an ass to you, (Y/N)! I hurt you while you were already hurting," he remembered having to listen to your cries, muffled behind your hands, the forced smiles, the pained look in your eyes, your back turned to him, his panic of not being able to find you during practice. The realization of the distance between both of you because of him. "I walked around you even though you were breaking from the inside. I might as well be worse than your deadbeat, asshole of a father because I wasn't there for you. I hurt you just as he did! I failed you! I-I-"

A gentle hand touched his elbow, shaking him, he looks up, meeting your kind (e/c) gaze. And that smile, that same kind smile that stretched to your eyes, reflecting an oh so loving gaze he knew he didn't deserve. Even without saying a word, you understood everything he wanted to say, all the sorries that's been resting on his tongue, heavy with the weight of his sins, of the burdens of hurting you, of the love he's had and continue to have for you.

He didn't deserve you.

You didn't deserve him.

But you both loved each other just as much.

"(Y-Y/N)," his voice was barely a whisper, wet and croaking. "I'm so sorry...!"

Enveloping you into a hug, he cries into your shoulder, repeatedly saying “I’m sorry” over and over again.

And you just hold him, caressing his head with your other hand.

“I’ll always love you, Atsumu,” your confession just tore at him, tears leaking more. “you will always be my first love, and that will never change.”

Atsumu hugs you tighter, cries harder. “I love you, too.”

When you let go, there was a smile on your face – a radiant, bright, reflected in your eyes that it brightened up your whole face. Like a sunflower greeting the sun, Atsumu found himself smiling, too. Released from the embrace, in his eyes, he feels his heart fill with a bittersweet sense of warmth and twinge.

Despite it all, it still felt good. It felt really good. Talking to you, settling things with you, loving you – it felt right.

Certain people come into our lives whether we like it or not, and you were no exception.

Sadly, just because you came into their life doesn’t automatically guarantee that they’ll stay with you forever. You can only have them for a time.

One of them may end up as your first love, but it's not guaranteed that they will be your last. They'll be just that - your first love, the first person you offered your heart to, but not the person who gets to keep it.

You were his forever person, the first love he realized too late.

end.

[siwoline]

“can we stay like this forever?” — [sjy.]

♫ : spaces by martti franca

word count: 1,901  |  angst, masochist

<masterlist> <prev> <next>

some, if not everyone, surely had a tower moment. a phase when everything seems to go downfall and you had no other choice but to surrender to wherever the universe takes you. some faced everything alone and some found a companion.

in your case, you had jake.

you met each other through a common friend back in high school. it was just a “hey, this is y/n. y/n, this is jake.” type of introduction and you just both went on with your lives separately, not minding each other’s business because you clearly had nothing to do with it. you weren’t interested with him and, on your point of view, he wasn’t too.

but suddenly, you passed by each other’s lives again, when he saw you sitting like a drunk single aunt by the gutter of an abandoned gas station. it was because you told your friends you’ll walk your way home even though your vision was spinning and your head hurt like hell.

you remember, “y/n?” jake mispronounced your name when he saw you then.

and you corrected him even though you’re drunk by saying, “it’s y/n! you stupid!”

“i’m sorry, y/n. do you need something?”

obviously! is this man really stupid? were your thoughts. you were looking at him meaningfully, trying to tell him that he’s unbelievable but he seems to not care about your stares. he just reached for your arms and guided you to wrap them around his broad shoulders.

this man’s caring. what the hell.

as much as you wanted to throw your shoes at jake that time, you just didn’t have the energy to fight and perhaps you wanted to thank him for somehow taking care of you even though you barely know each other.

after that night, you were informed that, apparently, jake studies in the same university and he lives near your pad. and according to your common friend, it’s just a 10-minute ride from yours.

your encounter with him did not stop there because you saw each other again on a party hosted by your friend. the moment you laid eyes at each other, he recognized you right away and walked towards you leaving a girl who’s clearly hitting on him that time.

that night, you two shared stories and even danced with some acquaintances, completely unaware that it was the start of something you didn’t anticipate.

“who’s this?” you said when you picked up the call of someone who’s bugging you at three in the morning, the day after your friend’s party.

that’s when you heard jake mumbling words you cannot decipher because first, it was, again, three in the morning, and second, he was a drunk zombie.

“where are you?” you asked him repetitively and still trying to respond to what he was saying until the bartender took over the phone and told you where he is.

you went to the bar to fetch him. jake looked so wrecked and tired from the world, he’s a complete mess when you saw him lying on the bar’s couch. when you went to him and woke him up, he looked at you and there you saw his stares. his intense eyes looked like he wanted someone to save him or just someone who’s willing to hear his stories.

and so you did.

it was almost everyday, at three in the morning, when you go out to see each other at the gas station where you first met as acquaintances. you’d bring snacks from your stock and he’d bring drinks bought from the convenience store he’ll pass by on his way to you.

you’d talk about everyday, how things went wrong and how things are going. you’d tell him that the only constant thing in the world is life fucking you up and his boisterous laugh would disturb anyone and anything near. he’d tell you how pretty the night sky is and how badly he wanted to travel just to see its end and you’d agree and tell jake you’ll go with him.

no one knew of the times you’re together, not even the friend who introduced you to each other. it was just a moment between you two, and you hate to admit but there are times that by thinking of it, the thought of seeing jake, made you feel things.

and god, as well as jake, knows how badly you hate feeling tickling emotions, those of the positive kind, because you know that there’s definitely an aftermath.

“how’s your brother?” he randomly asked when you were just talking about an online post you shared with each other through chat.

“he’s doing well. you want to see him next weekend?” then he nodded as a response.

it was not just you who grew fond of jake, some of your family members, only those whom he met, did as well. especially your little brother. they’d play games when you and jake would come over to your grandfather’s house where your brother temporarily lives. they would also talk about boy stuff, completely excluding you from the conversation, and you can see the both of them enjoying their time.

and, annoyingly, again, this made you feel more at ease with jake.

“do you still drink?” you asked meaninglessly.

“not anymore,” he shrugged, as if saying he doesn’t know why.

“as i am,” that’s when he looked at you, confused. “i don’t know. maybe i’m healed,” and you laughed with the absurdity of the thought.

but jake smiled with what you said, “that can be true.”

“what about you? you’re finally moved on from the woman you cried for when i first fetched you at the bar?”

he turned his head away, obviously feeling shy. “that was more than a year ago, y/n.” his lips are forming a pout. “plus, i’m being comforted in a much healthier way.”

you were shocked by his response. “you’re seeing someone again?”

he shook his head and said, “i just found comfort in someone’s presence.”

“isn’t that the same?”

he looked at you and said, “i don’t want to intervene in their peace.”

then all of a sudden, that was your last encounter with jake. you didn’t hear any news about him or his whereabouts for a good six months. when you were told that he’ll be attending a seminar, you woke up late which led to not seeing him around the campus ever since. just like that, jake was nowhere to be found.

and you cannot believe why jake’s no-show bothered you so much.

you thought of him almost everyday, thinking whether he’s doing fine or coping from his heartbreak and problems. you thought of how he’s doing in school because you haven’t seen his shadow from anywhere. you were dead worried of him yet no one knows that you still are.

“y/n, later! don’t pretend to forget, you brat,” you laughed and nodded as a response.

your friend is having a party tonight and you prepared for it the moment you arrived home. wearing the simplest attire, almost looking as if you’re not interested to go, you went to the party.

the moment you stepped foot at the bar, you were reminded of several things. and definitely one of them is jake.

weird how the loud bass and taste of beer feels so nostalgic for you. was it the long period of time that passed since you decided to quit drinking? or was it, again, him?

you shook your head, trying to brush off the thought you have in mind. you took your fifth glass of cuervo and looked at your wristwatch only to see that it’s about three in the morning. you stood up, with your head quite heavy, and went to find your friend so you could bid good bye and leave. 

only to be stopped at your tracks because a pair of eyes are staring at you intensely. it’s jake.

it was quite a moment when you stared at each other but you decided to pretend as if you didn’t see anything. you’re confused at what you’re feeling at the very moment because, for you, you’re not supposed to feel anger just because he didn’t show up nor feel as if you’re longing for his presence.

“y/n,” you heard him call your name and a cold palm touched your skin when he held your hands to stop you from walking away.

you faced him, trying to show a smile. and there you saw a cleaner look of jake, a more mature one you must say. you looked at his eyes and you were surprised with what you’re seeing. your smile grew wider, more genuine this time, because he definitely looks happier now.

“hey. long time no see,” was all you can utter.

“y/n, i’m sorry—”

“look, i have to go home. the apartment’s gate,” you were cut off by him telling you that, “there’s no curfew and you always have a key with you. you don’t forget that. you’re afraid to get locked out.”

right. of course, jake knows that.

you’re afraid to get locked out, you’re afraid to be left behind. without a word, without any notice. you find it hard to forget, especially the moments dear to you, the moments that kept you warm. he knows that but why did he leave was all over your head.

“i have to go,” you said and let go of his hand but he didn’t budge. you kept moving and telling him to, “let go, jake.”

“y/n, i like you.” was what jake needed to say to make you stop from struggling.

he reached for your right arm and now his intense stares feel as if it can see your soul. and what happens now is the very thing you’re afraid of.

“i like you, i love you, i,” he sighed in frustration. “the last time we saw each other, it was you i was referring to. it was you whom i do not want their peace to be ruined. god, i even wanted to talk to you when you were first introduced to me. i wanted to hear more of your stories, i wanted to be even just a small part of your life, y/n.”

“i was so afraid of telling you because i know you fear this the most. you fear feeling things, you fear giving and risking all that you have, you fear the warmth of what love could give, y/n. i know that and you’ve always reminded me about that.” he continued.

“then why are you telling me this now?” i said, almost shouting because of how frustrated i am with what he’s saying. “why are you telling me you love me after leaving me, jake?”

“because,” he paused, looking both tired and frustrated of what’s happening right now. “because i can never get over you. i tried but i can’t and maybe because i do not even want to, y/n. i hate—”

“i fear commitments, jake.”

he looked at you, stared even, and smiled as if he just got reminded of a detail he forced himself to set aside.

still looking at you, with eyes begging you to let out what you really do feel, he said, “you can take your time. please, just allow me to—”

“i fear commitments, jake,” you repeated what you said. “what’s so hard to understand—”

“then just have me by your side, like old times, please.”

[janetbrown711]

"Why should you get to be angry? It's my life you're messing with" Yakko?

Yakko was still angry, even though it had been over a week since Max had visited.

His siblings' hostility towards Max was really getting on his nerves. Sure, Max caught on pretty early and no one was hurt, but still. It threw everything off- though what that 'everything' was, Yakko wasn't sure.

All he knew was that there was this... pulse, or energy. Like a magnet- Yakko had wanted to touch his face. Why? Max had almost not stopped him- what did that mean?

The fluttering, the blushing, the magnetism, what did it mean???

And why was it every time Yakko felt like maybe he'd figure it out, something or someone always interrupted. Even when Max wasn't there- Yakko would just be trying to sort things out in his head or reading a book, but either his sibs, or his classes, or his parents, or something else distracted him.

That didn't stop him from trying though, as he and Max still continued to write to each other daily, already setting up for Max to visit again tomorrow. He constantly read and reread Max's letters- absorbing every word to craft a perfectly witty yet sincere response. He valued Max and his friendship, he didn't want to ruin it.

And hey, he could tell he was improving. Over the letters he managed to never bring up his grandmother even once- and most of his conversations with Max avoided her too (for the most part... he was working on that). At least he knew other topics now.

However, he was still peeved at his siblings for their attempts to ruin it. Sure Max was clever enough to catch it- but if he hadn't? What if Max had never wanted to see him again after that? What if he had gotten hurt? It was totally irresponsible. He thought Wakko and Dot were better than that.

So- yeah. He was mad, though perhaps angry was too strong. He had mostly buried his anger deep within himself when his father pulled him aside and told him not to get mad at his sibs and that they just needed time, but the anger still resided deep in his chest. Reading the letters did calm him a little though, so that was nice.

However, the day before Max was to come over again, as Yakko went to reread through the letters he found the box that he stored them in to be empty. He searched through every possible drawer and every possible location in the entire castle before admitting what his gut instinct had told him.

His letters were stolen.

And he had a theory on who the culprit could be.

.o0o.

Yakko found his younger brother in his old room, the one nearby the room once belonging to their grandmother, with the private letters all sprawled out before him as he read over them.

All attempts to keep this a civil conversation were thrown out the window in that instant.

"Wakko, what the hell are you doing with my letters?!" Yakko did at least attempt not to shout, but he caught his brother off guard, as he nearly jumped to the ceiling in surprise.

"Y-yakko- I-i thought- I'm just-" Wakko scrambled to gather his mind.

"These letters are none of your business! Why on earth do you have them?!" Yakko approached, angrily taking the letters back.

"I-i thought you read them all- I thought you didn't need them- I-i just-" Wakko fought Yakko, pulling on the letters.

"These are private letters full of private emotions, Wakko. You have no business- I haven't even read this one! What is wrong with you?!" Yakko yanked harder, causing Wakko to let go.

"I-i just- Max is just-"

"Max is just what? Being my friend? Being the first person outside of my family that's ever connected with me?! God forbid I have a life outside of you two!" The elder brother fumed.

"H-he's just trying to take you away! You can't see it because you're like- in love with him- or something!" Wakko bit back.

Yakko froze.

"What did you say..?" Yakko's eye twitched.

"Y...you're like- in love with him. He's just trying to take you away- he's just like grandma!" Wakko argued.

"Max is nothing like grandma." Yakko snapped. "Max has made me the happiest I've ever been in my entire miserable fucking life! You should know that after snooping around my private fucking letters!" Yakko shouted, his voice cracking slightly as he felt himself begin to tear up.

"I just- god-! How could you be so selfish? Why can't you just be happy for me?!" Yakko demanded to know.

Wakko opened his mouth to utter some kind of reply, when without warning, their mother burst through the door.

"What on earth is all this shouting about?" She demanded to know. Wakko attempted to blink away his tears, which unfortunately caused them to fall so instead he picked up what letters he could before storming out without another word.

"Yakko. Tell me what happened. Now." She locked eyes with Yakko, deciding it best to give the younger brother a moment to himself.

Yakko sighed, wiping his tears from his eyes as he sat on Wakko's old bed. Lena was quick to join him, slowly rubbing his back.

"He took my letters. he's been reading them- all of them." Yakko explained bitterly. Lena slowly nodded.

"I just- those are private thoughts between the two of us- it's not just my privacy, it's Max's too. I-it's like Wakko has no respect for either of u-us," Yakko hiccuped a little.

"Now Yakko, you know that isn't true. Wakko thinks the world of you," Lena reminded softly. "He's just... confused. And scared."

"Oh yeah? He can join the club then," Yakko sniffled.

"Look... I know you're going through a lot with Max right now: new emotions, new situations, and the like, but... you've been plenty selfish too, especially in neglecting your siblings, Yakko. They've tried getting your attention several times but they feel as though you won't give them the time of day," Lena held one of his hands.

"I-i haven't-..." Yakko's instinct was to protest but as he reflected upon the past few months, he recognized the truth behind her words.

"Shit..." He muttered.

"Now, I'm not going to make you cancel Max's visit for tomorrow, but do know that after he's gone I want you to spend some good quality time with your siblings, alright? I'm sure Max will understand your situation plenty," Lena said softly yet firmly.

"Y-yeah... I guess I've been pretty wrapped up, haven't I?" He chuckled weakly.

"It's alright dear, so long as you do your best to recognize the mistake and make up for it through your actions," She kissed the top of his head. Yakko sighed and leaned his head on her shoulder.

The pair stayed like this a moment, before Lena decided she had waited long enough and it was time for her to seek out Wakko. However, as she started to head through the door, Yakko stopped her.

"Mom?" He asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you-... Am I...?"

Yakko bit his lip as he tried to think of what to ask.

"How do you know if you're in love?"

Lena chuckled softly.

"Hard to say, as it truly is different for everyone... But from what I remember... it's a sense of comfort and peace; being at peace with who you are and who they are to the point where you constantly want to be with them for that peace... if that makes any sense." Lena shook her head.

"Then again, when has love ever made any sense?" She snickered.

"Uh-huh..." Yakko pondered her words.

"I'm sorry dear, I'm afraid that's something you'll have to figure out on your own," She explained. "I'm afraid I have to go to your brother now though, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah- that's... yeah," Yakko nodded and Lena headed out, leaving Yakko to sort out this new information.

.o0o.

Wakko hated shouting.

It made him feel small- like he was four all over again. God- why did he always just make things worse? He never backed down, even when he said something stupid.

He hid in one of the storage closets near the tower. It was dark and cramped, but it was where he felt he ought to be. After all, he didn't want to be seen.

He gripped the letters in his hands tighter. He didn't know why he took them that time- it was dumb. He was already caught- Yakko already knew he was a thief.

But it was to protect him against Max-

Max.

Just that name made Wakko's blood boil and angry tears increase.

He hated Max.

He hated him a lot. Yakko wouldn't see it- he was under his siren spell somehow. Wakko thought taking those letters would show him some kind of clue to unraveling it, but instead, it just showed how messed up and lost Yakko was. It hurt to read each word and Yakko's notes on the letters- the little question marks and underlines and occasional heart. Wakko hated it.

Wakko hated Max.

He hated him very, very much.

He was taking his brother away- his brother would never ignore him unless there was something very sinister forcing him too- which Max clearly was.

R...right?

Wakko continued crying.

However, after a while of crying in the dark a soft knock interrupted his tears as the door slowly opened to reveal his mother, who slowly sat on the ground outside the closet and opened her arms. Wakko hesitated a moment, before practically leaping out into her loving arms.

"There, there Wakko..." She soothed as he sobbed in her arms.

"I-i w-was just- i-i just-" he couldn't get his words out.

"I know darling, he shouldn't have shouted so much," she stroked his head.

"I-i just..." Wakko attempted to breathe enough to calm himself.

"I know... you don't trust Max yet, and it's scary seeing Yakko connect so quickly, I know," She moved him so she could see his face, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Wakko sniffled. "H-he's just trying to take him away."

"That's not true, Wakko. Max is just spending time with him- Yakko is just getting... a little caught up is all," Lena sighed.

"B-but he never ignored me like this before he met him," Wakko frowned.

"I know Wakko... he hasn't done his best with balancing everything out..." She said. "But... you haven't made it exactly easier either."

Wakko blinked at that.

"What I mean is... you haven't given Max a shot yet. You rejected him without giving him a shot to prove himself to you," Lena said.

Given him a shot..? Was she insane? She would never suggest he "give grandma a shot" so why was she suggesting to give Max a shot? Because he "seemed" friendlier and more charismatic???

"Wakko, look. Whether or not you like it, Yakko really really likes Max. The least you can do is give him a day to prove himself, alright?" Lena made him look at her.

She looked so desperate for him to believe her, it made him sad. She was clearly under Max's spell too.

It became clear to Wakko he had been underestimating Max. If he wanted him gone for good and to free his family from his influence, he was going to have to take drastic measures.

"Maybe..." he mumbled for her sake. Lena smiled softly and kissed the top of his hat.

"Yakko will really appreciate it," She said.

"Yeah, okay," Wakko looked at the ground.

Yakko will appreciate it when he's free of Max's stupid curse- all of them will be.

"I have to go back to work- will you be okay?" Lena asked. Wakko nodded. Lena slowly stood, helping Wakko up as well, before giving him another hug and a kiss on his hat.

"It's gonna be okay Wakko, just give him a chance," She said.

"Okay," he said, giving a weak smile. Lena gave a similarly weak smile back before hugging him once more and walking away.

'Give him a chance.' Oh please- Wakko would give him a chance alright.

Wakko stormed right back into that storage closet, climbed up to the tallest shelf, and pulled down the highest key, before storming right on down to the tower- quickly and furiously unlocking the massive lock just to be sure, and-

Yes, they hadn't bricked it off quite yet.

Wakko now had the perfect to keep Max far away from his family for the rest of his life.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 The End

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt 18

Steven Hyde x Reader

A/N: The part is finally here! THE PARENTS FIND OUT. I hope you enjoy this part! Geez, I can’t believe we’re already 18 parts in! And I’m not even done lol with all this information I want to put in the story, there maybe a bit more. Let me know what you all think! By the way, CONGRATULATIONS TO WILMER VALDERAMA FOR THR BIRTH OF HIS DAUGHTER! What a beautiful baby!!

Kitty sat there, staring at her daughter with an unreadable expression. Was she angry? Disappointed? Murderous? Y/n couldn’t bear to make eye contact with her, so she kept her gaze down.

“So,” Kitty said, clearing her throat. “Pregnant, huh?”

Y/n nodded, flitting her eyes to Kitty who was calmly messing with her ring.

“How far along are you?”

“Bout a month.”

“And does Steven know?”

“Yes, he—wait, what?” This time Y/n snapped her gaze to Kitty who was staring at her down with a stoic expression.

“I said does Steven know?” Kitty repeated and placed her fist underneath her chin. “Does he know that he is the father?”

All Y/n could do was stare at her mother in disbelief as her brain suddenly stopped working. The gears in her head froze as she felt her hands go numb. “What—how—uh, when did you—why would you—wait, what? Steven’s not the father.”

“Oh, no need to get all fussy and lie to me,” Kitty said and chuckled and got up to start a pot of tea. “I’ve known for weeks.”

“You what?” Y/n asked in complete disbelief. “How did you find out?!”

“Oh, please, I’m not stupid. You kids are terrible at keeping secrets.” She grabbed two mugs and placed two teabags in them, then reached up to get the honey. “It’s obvious that you two have gotten much closer in the recent months and besides—I’ve seen you two lay a smooch on each other in a time or two.”

“Oh, God,” Y/n mumbled, covering her hot and flushed face. “Well, if you knew, why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Because I wanted you to come to me yourself,” Kitty answered as if it was obvious and poured the hot water into the mugs. “You’re eighteen now. You make that decision to date whoever you want.”

Kitty set the mugs down on the table in front of them.

“If that’s true then why were you telling me that I shouldn’t and can’t date him?”

“Because of your father,” she responded and took a sip of her tea. “You know how he is.”

“Oh, God, does he know?”

“Oh, heavens no,” Kitty responded and waved her hand. “If he does, he’s in denial.”

“He’s going to kill us,” Y/n groaned and covered her eyes with her hand that wasn’t holding the mug.

“Well, we need to find a way to ease into it,” Kitty said. “The last thing we want is to give him another heart attack. Because let’s be honest, this one will kill him.”

“So, what do you suggest?”

“Well, we could liquor him up,” she responded. “That way, he’ll be mad, but not enough to kill him.”

“Wow, Mom. It sounds like you’ve done this before.”

“Eh, maybe once or twice,” Kitty said, waving her hand and took a sip of her tea.

They sat in silence for a moment. “Are you mad?”

Kitty inhaled deeply and looked at Y/n. “A little. More so that you didn’t tell me and lied to me. Multiple times.”

Y/n looked down at her tea in shame. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

“Do you and Steven even have a plan?”

Y/n nodded, debating on telling her about the engagement. Like a band-aid. “Yes. He’s going to go work with his dad in Milwaukee and I’m going to go back to school while looking for an apartment. And, uh,” she took a deep breath, her voice wavering. Get ready to see some chairs fly. “We’re….going to get…married.”

Kitty sat there in stunned silence, blinking at Y/n. The growing silence between them made Y/n more nervous as she was receiving daggers from her mother’s blazed eyes.

“Yep,” Y/n said shortly after a minute of no talking. “A grandchild and a son-in-law. Big day for you.”

“You’re WHAT!” Kitty shouted, shooting up from her seat.

Y/n jumped up and held her hands out at her menopausal mother. “I’m sorry! We just thought that it would be better for you and Daddy because I’m sure you guys don’t want a screaming baby around and we—”

“You’re going to leave me?!”

Y/n knitted her eyebrows together and brought her hands down. “What?”

“My baby is having a baby and getting married and you’re going to leave me?!”

“Uh, okay, I’m sorry, but I’m really confused,” Y/n said calmly and stood up straight. “I thought you’d want me and Steven to move out.”

“Well, not right now!” she yelled. “I’ve always wanted to plan my children’s wedding. When I saw what path Laurie was going down, I thought to hell with that I’m never going to plan her wedding, and Eric…well you know what happened! But now you’re getting married and I need to plan yours! Sure, I still want to put my foot up your ass, but I need to do this!”

Y/n stood there in confusion and shock. Well, this went better than expected. “Really, Mom? You’re sure?”

“Yes, you dumbass!” Kitty shouted and wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shoulders.

“Wow, uhm, you’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would,” Y/n said, wrapping hesitant arounds around her petite mother.

“Don’t be so sure,” she replied. “I’m still angry that you lied to me and didn’t tell me and for Steven going behind our backs instead of just coming to us, but we will talk later. For now, we need to focus on telling your father so that we can start planning and getting ready for everything.”

“When should we tell him?”

“Well, tomorrow night I’ll be throwing a small dinner party for couples. So, you, Steven, and Donna and Eric will be there. And Bob is coming with a date.”

“You really think telling Dad while we’re having a party, which he hates, is a good idea? He’s not afraid to have witnesses while he murders me, you know that right?”

“Oh, honey, don’t be so dramatic. That’s where we’re going to get him liquored up,” Kitty laughed and sat back down, leaving Y/n utterly confused still.

                                                  --Time Skip—

     “So, she knew this whole time?” Steven asked later that night, as they laid in his bed, their naked bodies covered by the blanket.

“Yep. Apparently, we weren’t being as secretive as we should’ve been,” Y/n commented.

“And she took the news well?” He felt genuinely confused. “So, I’m not getting…kicked out?”

“No, but she definitely wants to put her foot up our asses.”

He raised his eyebrows. “She said that?”

“Word for word.”

Steven threw his head back laughing. “Man, I wish I would’ve heard that.”

“Yeah, but here’s the kicker. I think she was madder that I told her that we would be moving out.”

He stopped laughing and looked at her confused. “How?”

She shrugged. “Beats me. She said something about how she’s never going to be able to plan Laurie’s wedding because she’s, well, Laurie, so she really wants to plan ours.”

Hyde chuckled. “That’s funny.”

Y/n lifted the corner of her mouth. “Which part?”

“Well both. She just called Laurie a whore and that she thinks we will have a real wedding.”

Y/n sat up and looked at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, obviously Laurie gets around quite a bit—”

“No, no, not that,” she said. “About the wedding.”

“Oh, well,” Hyde said and sat up too. “You didn’t think we were going to have a real wedding, did you?”

“Uh, yeah I did,” she replied. “That’s why I said wedding. It’s not like I’m saying let’s have a big one or anything, but something. What were you thinking?”

“Well, just, uh,” he said nervously. “Just city hall and then maybe have a dinner.”

“That’s it?” she asked. “That’s how you want to spend our big day?”

“Well, to be fair we have an even bigger one coming,” he responded, motioning towards her stomach.

“Okay, yes, we’re having a baby but also us getting married is also pretty big.”

“ Y/n, what is the big deal? We’re going to be spending a lot of time and money for what? A few hours of partying?”

“A few hours of partying? Are you kidding me?”

“What? It’s true.”

“A wedding is the unification of us becoming one and celebrating our love! To promise one another that we will always be there and love each other. Doesn’t that mean something to you?” She got out of the bed and started putting her clothes back on.

“Why do we need to promise each other in front of people when it’s our marriage? I’m promising you, not them.”

“It’s still a celebration, Steven.”

“Yeah, maybe back in the olden times when marriage was used as transactions and not for anything more. I mean, come on, be happy that I’m even marrying you!” He started to put his pants back on when he noticed the shift in the room.

“What?” Y/n asked sharply.

Hyde’s eyes grew a fraction bigger. “No, no! That’s not what I meant!”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I just meant that before I probably wouldn’t have even considered marriage even if I did get you pregnant.” He mentally cringed, knowing he just made the situation worse.

“Wow,” was all she said before she walked out the room.

“No, wait Y/n!” he stumbled as he fumbled to put his pants back on. “I didn’t mean it that way!”

“Just leave me alone, Steven!” she shrieked as she stomped up the stairs.

He groaned. “Great.”

                                               --Time Skip—

           “Y/n, honey can you go to the store for me and pick some things up for the party tonight?” Kitty asked while she gave Y/n her breakfast plate.

“We’re having a party?” Eric asked. Everyone, excluding Red was there. Fez and Jackie sat at the counter, Kelso and Donna at the table.

“Yes, we are. All couples are invited.”

“Wait, why wasn’t I invited? Kelso asked.

“Well, honey, you need a date,” Kitty said. “Do you have a date?”

“Yeah, Brooke.

“That would be great! Then I can ask her questions about when she was pregnant,” Y/n said.

“Ohhh, honey, let’s not say that out loud,” Kitty replied, patting Y/n’s shoulder. “Your father could walk in any minute.”

“Guess I can come now,” Kelso beamed.

“Yeah, I guess you can,” Kitty said and sat down next to Y/n.

“Can I come too Miss Kitty?” Fez asked. “If I bring a date that is.”

“Of course, dear,” Kitty beamed and clapped excitedly. “I’m so excited!”

“Uh,” Hyde said and raised his hand. “Do I have to come?”

“Yes,” Kitty and Y/n said in unison sternly.

“And wear a tie,” Y/n said.

“I don’t want to,” he responded stubbornly.

“Well, you’re gonna,” she snapped.

He looked at Kitty and Y/n and slumped his shoulders. “Fine. But, Mrs. Forman, can I speak to you privately in the living room, please?”

“For what?”

“I just need to speak to you.”

She looked to Y/n who shrugged her shoulders. Kitty and Steven stood up and made their way into the living room.

“What do you want to talk about, Steven?” Kitty asked him and clasped her hands together in front of her.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” he began and scratched his neck. “I’m not very good at apologizing and stuff, but I’ve always looked at you as a mom, especially because you took me in and took care of me as if I was your own and I owe you an apology. I understand if you’re angry with me and you have every right to be. I disrespected you and Red by going behind your back with Y/n and lying to you and I deeply regret that, but I need you to know that I don’t regret Y/n. I truly do care about her and…I do love her. I know this was probably a shock for you, but I promise to do whatever I can to take care of her. I’m not sure if Y/n told you, but I took a job with my dad at his company.

“I just want you to know that even though you may not think I’m the right person for your daughter, I promise you I am. I know I’m not perfect, but I think I’m good enough for her and she’s definitely more than enough for me.”

Kitty looked at her foster son with blurry eyes. “Oh, Steven,” she whimpered and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He gratefully accepted her embrace. “You’re such a good boy. Thank you. I love you so much.” She pulled away and looked at him. “Yes, I am a little angry about the situation and trust me, we will be having a talk later, but please don’t worry about me. It’s Red we need to worry about.”

“I’ll have to run before he can put his foot in my ass,” he replied.

“Oh, I won’t let that happen,” she said and patted his arm.

“Thank you, Mrs. Forman.”

She smiled at him before they went back into the kitchen.

                                   --Time Skip—

           “For the last time, I told you I don’t want a freakin’ wedding!” Steven raised his voice at Y/n.

“Well, I do, dammit!” Y/n shouted back.

“What’s the point? We can still celebrate with everyone after we sign the piece of paper!”

“I’m not asking for anything big here, Steven!” she growled. “I’m asking for a simple wedding. Why is that so much to ask?”

“Because it cost a lot!”

“Alright let the moth out of your wallet you cheap ass,” Y/n snapped. “We’re going to be spending more on this baby and any other future children we may have than a wedding. The wedding doesn’t even have to be big! It could just be all of us and my grandparents. Why are you being so difficult about this?”

“Because I don’t want a wedding!”

“Uhm,” Eric called out awkwardly from the couch. “Some of us are trying to watch TV here. Care to take it outside?”

“No!” the couple said in unison.

“Y/n listen to me,” Jackie said and stood up. “Getting Steven to even marry anybody is a miracle. Take it from me.”

“Yeah, he told me that last night,” Y/n spit.

“You said that to her? BURN!” Kelso shouted, but then instantly cowered when Y/n and Hyde threw daggers at him.

Y/n rolled her eyes and turned back to Steven. “I want us to have pictures to remember this day. So, we’ll need a photographer.”

“If you need a photographer to remember something like this, then we have bigger problems,” Hyde deadpanned.

Y/n groaned in frustration. “God, you’re impossible! Come on, just something from you.”

Hyde shook his head. “No. And that’s final.”

“Fine,” she huffed. “But you get to tell my mom why she won’t plan our wedding.” She flipped her hair and sat down on the couch, crossing her arms. “And by the way, you’re going to be the one to deal with her wrath. Not me.”

Steven titled his back and looked up at the ceiling, groaning. “Fine! We’ll have a wedding, but it won’t be big. Just us, no extra relatives, we’ll have it in the backyard, beer, and spaghetti, and a small cake. No dressing up, nothing.”

“Or,” Y/n said coyly and sauntered back up to him. “It’s just us and my grandparents, somewhere outdoors with Pastor Dave, a decent sized cake, some dressing up, and 1 main plate of food with 2 sides. Beer and champagne.”

He looked down at her, trying so hard to be mad, but her puppy dog eyes made him melt. “Fine.”

She smiled widely for him. “Okay!” She gave him a quick peck and sat back down on the couch.

“Aweeee,” the gang cooed.

“Shut it!” Hyde barked.

“Who’s going to be your maid of honor?” Jackie pushed. “I’m not saying it should be me, but it should be me.”

“Yeah, and who is going to be your best man?” Kelso asked and pointed at himself. “Me,” he whispered.

“Hang on, guys,” Donna said. “Let’s not put too much pressure on them. It’s their wedding. Let them decide who.”

Y/n gave her an appreciative smile. “Thank you, Donna.”

“Oh, she’s just sucking up to you so you’d pick her!” Jackie cried out. “ Y/n, if you pick me, I’m rich, so I can give you the bachelorette party of your dreams. I can help with the wedding too.”

Y/n puckered her lips and looked up, thinking. “That does sound nice.”

“What, no! That’s crap,” Donna exclaimed. “I’ve been there for her this whole time, I think I deserve to be maid of honor.”

“Oh, what have you brought to the table, Big Foot?” Jackie spit.

“Listen, here Midget, I was the first person who knew about her and Hyde, the first to know about the pregnancy, AND kept it a secret until she was ready to tell the others. She trusts me more. Being rich doesn’t make you a better friend than me.”

Jackie gasped theatrically. “You take that back!”

Donna smirked at her. “No.”

“Bitch!”

“Skank!”

“GIRL FIGHT!” Kelso hollered. “Eric, quick, get a pool of mud and we can watch them fight for honor.”

“Alright, alright, alright, stop. Both of you,” Y/n cut in, trying to prevent them from ripping at each other. “I still have Laurie to think about.”

Donna and Jackie scoffed and rolled their eyes at her.

“You really want the queen of whores to be your maid of honor?” Hyde asked her.

Y/n thought about it for a minute. “No, not really. But she’s still an option.”

“Okay, well, while you ladies figure out your issue, we have a bigger one at hand,” Fez said and down on the coffee, facing Hyde who was now sitting in his chair. “Who’s going to be the best man? Me.”

“Nuh uh, I wanna be!” Kelso argued.

“Hey, if anybody deserves to be best man, it should be me,” Eric piped up. “I think it’s already a given why I deserve this role.”

“Why you deserve it?” Hyde repeated. “This isn’t a play, man.”

“Come on, man. I made you the godfather of my daughter,” Kelso said, giving him the puppy eyes.

“Or, how about the one who’s related to the bride? And who gave him a home when he became an orphan?” Eric said.

“Don’t pull that crap on me, Forman,” Hyde said, making a face at him. “You also forget how you reacted and tried to kick me out.”

“I was just preparing you for what’s going to happen with Red,” Eric defended, albeit rather weakly.

“Well, we got to figure something out,” Jackie said and stood, adjusting her shirt. “Why don’t we pull straws?”

“Or how bout we race?” Fez said. “I can outrun all of you sons of bitches.” He beamed with pride.

“No, we’re not going to do any of that,” Y/n said. “Let me and Steven decide, okay?”

“Good ‘cause I’m not running,” Jackie said. “Jackie Burkhart doesn’t sweat.”

“Or how ‘bout we go with the two most good looking people in this room?” Kelso suggested. “So, me and Jackie.”

Jackie nodded. “I second that!”

“NO,” Hyde and Y/n said in unison.

Kelso and Jackie huffed and sat down on the couch and chair, pouting.

“Please, guys, let us get through tonight and then we’ll decide,” Y/n begged. “Right now we just want to get through the night alive. My dad is going to tear us to shreds.”

“Oh, why wouldn’t he?” Eric asked sarcastically. “Not only are you secretly dating the orphan boy living in his house, you’re having his baby and getting married.”

“Actually, it wasn’t so secretive,” Y/n mentioned. “Mom’s known for weeks.”

“What? How?!” Eric asked.

“I don’t know, but she’s not as naïve as I thought.”

“Oh, crap,” Eric said wide eyed. “That means she probably found my magazines!”

“What magazines?” Donna asked.

“Uh,” Eric stuttered while Y/n smirked at her dumbass twin. “S-some good ol’ fashioned…classy magazines.”

“Nice,” Y/n said, thoroughly amused.

“Uh huh, sure,” Donna said, but let it go.

“So, are you guys nervous about telling Mr. Red?” Fez asked.

“Oh, I’m just short of completely and utterly terrified,” Y/n responded.

“Yeah, what she said,” Hyde responded and gestured for Y/n to sit in his lap. “But, this is something we have to do. We messed up and now we have to make up for it.”

“Or make a run for it,” Fez said, giggling. “See what I did there?”

Y/n chuckled lightly, loving his sweet and innocent sense of humor. “You’re not wrong. My dad is a very scary man.”

“But you’re his little girl. I don’t think he’s going murder you,” Eric said. “It’s clear that you’re the favorite.”

“Even if that were true, you know who is the one who’s going to get murdered,” Jackie said and pointed at Steven. “You. You better get your running shoes on now.”

“Ha ha very funny. Listen, I think once he calms down and realizes that being blinded by rage isn’t going to change anything, he’ll come around,” Steven said.

Everyone looked at him as if he had grown a third head.

“Are you just now meeting my dad?” Eric asked.

“All I’m saying is that there isn’t much he can do at this point,” Hyde defended. “Mrs. Forman will be there.”

“Yeah, to tell you to run,” Eric said.

“He’s right, though,” Donna said. “Besides getting scary and pink, nothing’s going to change.”

“What do you expect him to do though?” Eric asked. “Sit there and tell you congratulations?”

Y/n shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Yeah,” her twin scoffed. “After he cheers and tosses his poms poms into the air.”

The group fell silent as the image of Red fell into their heads.

“You’re pregnant?” Red asked as the teens started trembling in their seats.

“Now, Daddy, please let me explain—” Y/n began before Red jumped up from his seat.

“That’s great!” he boasted with a broad smile and somehow brought out two poms poms from behind him. “Let’s cheer!”

He started hopping up and down, shouting, “P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T!”

“What’s happening?” Hyde asked, staring at Eric who continued to play the scene out for them.

“Who’s going to be a grandpa?” Red cheered. “Me! G-R-A-N-D-P-A! WhooOOooOO!”

 He started jumping up and down like a teenage girl.

“That was unpleasant,” Y/n commented once Eric was finished.

“You got the cheer wrong,” Jackie commented.

“What?” Eric asked, directing his attention to her.

“Yeah, you’re supposed to go—”

“I don’t care,” he cut her off lazily.

The gang chuckled before Y/n looked down at her watch. “The party is in an hour. Honey, you need to get ready.”

“It only takes me two minutes to get ready,” Steven argued.

“You still need to figure out what you’re going to wear.”

“I’m wearing this,” he said and gestured towards his current outfit.

Y/n hummed unamused. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re really not.”

“ Y/n, I’m wearing this and that’s final.”

“Or, you can wear a tie and still have sex tonight.”

Eric rolled his eyes as he forced that mental image out of his head.

Hyde grunted. “Fine.”

He got up and followed Y/n into his room to pick out the outfit he would be wearing.

“Well, I better go pick up Brooke before she gets mad at me again,” Kelso said begrudgingly. “Man, you forget a woman one time at the store and suddenly you’re ‘irresponsible’ and ‘immature.’ You make one small mistake and she never lets you live it down!” Michael rolled his eyes as he walked out the door.

“And I better go pick up Nina,” Fez said. “She’s super foxy and the best part, I get to see her everyday! It really pays off to be dating your boss.”

“You’re dating your boss?” Eric asked.

“Yeah you don’t want to date anyone within the workplace,” Donna said. “This spells disaster.”

“Yeah, but she’s so spicy,” Fez said.

“See and I don’t care. So, I’m just going to go home,” Jackie said and stood by Fez.

“You’re just mad because you’re not going to this party,” Donna stated.

“Yeah! I just had to be the one without a boyfriend and to add salt to the wound, I won’t be there when Mr. Forman finds out.”

“Finds out about what?” Red asked as he came down the stairs.

Fez’s eyes widened. “Bye,” he squeaked and fumbled for the door and whipped it open, running for the hills, leaving Jackie behind.

“Is that kid on dope? Because if he is, I don’t want him in my house” Red asked before turning towards the washer and dryer. “I’m looking for my blue shirt. Your mother is insistent I wear it tonight. I’d rather be back in Korea than go to this damn thing.”

“Yeah, that’s a real kicker, there, DAD,” Eric shouted dramatically, hoping to have Y/n hear and for the love of God to NOT come out of Hyde’s room.

Red gave Eric a look. “Son, are you on dope too?”

Eric laughed uncomfortably. “No, no, not at all, DAD.”

“Yeah, MR. FORMAN. Nothing going on here,” Donna said and gave him a fake smile.

Red shook his head in confusion and pulled his shirt out of the dryer. “Damn teenagers,” he mumbled and sulked back upstairs.

Once he was out of earshot, Eric and Donna huffed and leaned into the couch while Jackie continued to stay by the door. “You know, maybe it’s good that I won’t be here. I don’t want to be here to help clean up the blood. See ya!”

“Yeah,” Eric and Donna said lazily as Jackie walked out the door.

“That was a close one,” Donna said. “After tonight, this will all be over.”

Eric rubbed his face. “God, I hope so.”

“Was that Dad?” Y/n asked, coming out of Steven’s room with him trailing behind her.

“Yeah, it was. He’s gone now,” Eric replied.

“Thanks, you guys. You have no idea how much we appreciate that,” Y/n said. “I promise tonight will be the last. Once Red knows then it will hopefully be over.”

“Or the start of a blood bath,” Donna snickered.

“Real funny,” Y/n said and headed towards the stairs. “I’m going to go change. I’ll see you guys in a few minutes.”

“I’ll go with you. Can I borrow a shirt?” Donna said, joining Y/n on the stairs.

“Yeah, sure. Which one are you thinking?”

“Well, I was thinking…”

Their conversation drifted off as the guys sat on the couch. Eric noticed Hyde wearing a nice shirt and a tie with a pair of black jeans.

 “Wow, Hyde, I didn’t know you even owned a pair of black jeans,” Eric said and batted his eyes. “You look so handsome!” Before he could keep going, a pillow was thrown in his face to muffle his taunting.

                                                                                                                 —Time Skip—

           “Alright, everybody!” Kitty said excitedly as she came through the door into the living room. She set down a plate of hors d'oeuvres on the table. “Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.”

She looked around the room to see Y/n and Steven, Eric and Donna, Kelso and Brooke, Bob and his date, Joanne, but no Laurie or Fez. “Where’s Fez?”

“He went to go pick up his date,” Y/n responded. “He’ll be here soon.”

“Oh, okay. Sounds good. Well, you look very pretty tonight, Y/n ,” Kitty said, gesturing towards her dress.

Y/n wore a maroon colored, high low dress that was decorated with orange, white, and blue floral print with long and flowing sleeves. She wore knee high brown boots to match with the dress. Her long hair was flat ironed down her waist as she sported hoop earrings.

“Oh, thank you, Mom,” she said and smoothed out her dress. “You look pretty too.” Kitty wore a nice red dress with short sleeves and a sweet heart neckline. “Donna, Joann, and Brooke look very pretty too.”

Donna and Joann smiled at Y/n who sported normal flowered bell bottoms and a plain and elegant baby pink top. While Brooke, wore simple, yet stylish, emerald green maxi dress with a white dress cardigan and strappy black heels.

“I told you, you looked pretty,” Bob said to Joanne who smiled at him.

“You think I look pretty?” Brooke beamed, feeling relieved. “Thank you so much. Ever since I had Betsy, it’s been hard to go out, let alone dress up.”

Kelso snorted. “I know.”

Brooke glared at him before turning her attention away from him with a hurt expression.

“Steven, would you mind?” Y/n asked.

“It’ll be my pleasure,” he responded before connecting his fist to Kelso’s shoulder.

“Ow!” Kelso shouted, holding his shoulder. “The hell, man?”

“You don’t say that to the woman who just had your baby, you moron!” Y/n scorned. “Brooke looks lovely and you should definitely acknowledge that, you dillhole.”

“I did!”

“I believe your exact words were, ‘Wow, you look hot. Wanna do it?’” Brooke said, imitating Kelso.

“But you do!” he defended.

“Alright, kids,” Kitty said as she handed Red an hors d'oeuvre.

“Hey, if this is a couple’s dinner, then why is Y/n and Steven here?” Bob asked.

Y/n’s heart caught in her throat and Hyde shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, we just wanted to come,” Y/n lied.

“Did ya now?” Red asked suspiciously. “If that’s the case, then why is Steven here?”

“Uh, you know,” Hyde responded nervously and cleared his throat. “Free food.”

“Uh huh,” Red responded unconvinced.

“I asked them to come,” Kitty said, stepping in. “I—uh—”

Laurie walked into the room, unsuspecting of her mother flying over to her.

“I also invited Laurie!” she said, gripping her oldest daughter’s arm and dragging her to the couch.

“What? No, you didn’t—”

“Sshh, shut up, I did and you get five bucks out of this,” Kitty murmured in her ear as Laurie smiled, quickly accepting and sat down on the floor next to the table.

“Hellooooo! Me and Nina are here!” Fez called in, stumbling in through the door. “Please, meet my lovely and hot date, Nina.”

“Fez,” the short haired girl blushed and turned to the group. “Hi!”

“Fez, are you drunk?” Hyde asked.

“I had to pregame before I came!” he announced.

“Fez, you realize you’re not supposed to get drunk when you pregame,” Y/n said. “Only buzzed.”

“And how would you know that?” Red asked.

“Public school. Everybody knows that,” Y/n lied. Sort of.

“Okay, well, let’s just get this party started so I can go to bed,” Red said begrudgingly.

                                                       —Time Skip—

            Later on that evening, when everyone had finished eating and was now enjoying dessert, Fez was enjoying his third glass of kahlua. Kitty had allowed the kids to have small glass of it, but Fez was finishing off Hyde’s and going for Y/n’s.

“Y/n, do you not like your drink?” Red asked.

“Kind of. It’s a little too sweet,” she lied and felt her heart drop. She hated lying to her dad. He trusted her so much. Now, he was going to lose any ounce of pride he had in her. She turned to Kitty, wanting now more than ever to get this over with. “Hey Mom, I think it’s time.”

“No. Not right now,” Kitty shook her head vigorously who was cleaning up the dessert plates. “He hasn’t had enough yet.”

“Time for what?” Red asked.

The mother and daughter ignored him.

“I have to tell him.” Y/n stood from the couch and faced Kitty. “I can’t hold it in anymore.”

“ Y/n, don’t,” Kitty warned, pleading her.

“Tell. Me. What?” Red asked, growing impatient.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just say it and get it over with?”

“Y/n, stop,” Steven piped up, eyeing Red who was now standing behind Y/n.

“For the love of God, tell me what?!”

“To tell you that Y/n is pregnant with Hyde’s baby!” Fez drunkenly shouted, causing the air in the room to still. “Oh, and they’re also getting married!”

Everyone in the room held their breath as they stared at Red.

“Fez, why?” Y/n trembled.

“Well, you weren’t going to say it, so I did.”

“Remind me to kick your ass later,” she seethed and turned around to face her father.

“Y/n, the foreign kid better be lying,” Red threatened, his voice wavering.

Her gaze fell to the floor, not able to keep eye contact with him. Her throat suddenly felt dry and she couldn’t find the words to speak. She swallowed thickly and shook her head.

“I swear to God, if this is some kind sick joke…” Red trailed off and looked around at everyone, seeing their horrified and sullen faces. “Are you really pregnant? With Steven’s baby?!”

Y/n cringed and dared herself to look up at him. “I’m sorry, Daddy, but yes.”

“Wow, I picked a great night to stay home,” Laurie beamed.

Red’s eyes darted to Steven who was visibly sweating. “YOU!”

Kitty was shaking as she stared at the scene in front of her in fright. “Run, honey, run!”

Hyde didn’t hesitate to jump off the couch and sprinted to the front door. Red was on his tail immediately.

“You son of a bitch!” Red roared as he ran after Hyde.

Luckily Hyde was faster as he ripped the door open and made his way down the street with Red running after him like a mad man.

Taglist:  @jeeperky​ @05-feet-off-the-table-06​ @cooloclown​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @taysirene @ xxivy-32 

[buckysgoldenheart]

Protect You

August Walker x Reader

Summary: You discover August is working with Lane and it crushes your heart, but he’s not about to let you go any time soon. He’ll do what he must to prove that you are more important to him than what he wanted before he had you.

Warnings/Notes: Fluff, some smut, cursing, maybe slight angst if you squint (like super hard), Sort of breeding kink (kinda hard to say (it’s like one sentence)).

The details of this story, with Lane and August and their plan/how their relationship worked, are not 100% accurate. There are slight changes, but I just did it for the sake of plot. And dear lord, there are questionable writing choices, but after writing and rewriting this idk how many times, I can’t tell what’s good and what isn’t. So, sorry in advance :’]

Words: 4k…Way too many (my bad).

You ran as fast as you could through streets and back alleys, your steps disturbing the settled water puddles on the cobblestone. Escaping where August had tied you up proved to be much simpler than you were sure he imagined, and he unintentionally gave you enough of a hint to know exactly where he was going.

God, you felt so stupid. He deceived you, fooled you, bound your wrists around a bedpost and gagged you, leaving you behind like trash while he went after your friends; your team.

You shoved through the side door of a parking garage and sped down the stairs. You paused before the last door that opened to the basement floor, inhaled deeply then peeked through the small window. Your vision went red at the sight of your team, their hands raised and weapons scattered at their feet.

“Take them--” August began, his voice devoid of all emotion as you ran in.

“Stop!” You shouted, only slowing your pace once your body was a small barrier between your friends and the crowd of armed men with August at their side. One of many masked men in vests immediately turned his gun your way, ready to pierce a bullet through your heart without a thought, but you didn’t care, your heart was already broken anyway.

“No!” August snapped, his face twisting at the sight of you. He was instantly pissed, you could see it in his body, in the way he now stood. No one else would be able to tell, but you weren’t just anyone else. You knew what every stance, every lip quirk, every flash of emotion in his eyes meant.

He looked away from you for a moment, then shook his head with a curse on his lips. “Not her.”

Masks or not, you knew the men seconds away from killing you had surprised looks plastered on their faces. “Sir?”

“Bring her,” August looked at you. “Inform Lane you have these three,” He said, and you darted your eyes to the panicked faces of Ilsa, Benji, and Luther. “And find Hunt.”

Another man grabbed you around the waist at his order. You kicked at legs and clawed at the arms around you as Benji shouted your name, his voice falling farther and farther away with every step you were dragged from them.

August walked ahead of you, not daring a look back.

“August…” You growled, ready to tear into him, but a needle was shoved into the side of your neck and your vision was quickly blurring the form of his body.

----------------

Your head jerked up and your eyes burst open. You tried to rub the haze from them but couldn’t.

Tied up again…wonderful. This was not something you enjoyed getting used to, at least not in this way.

As your vision cleared, you saw him sitting across from you, his shoulders hunched forward, elbows on his knees, and hands clasped as he stared at the floor. You had no idea how long you’d been out or how long he’d been watching over you, but by the look of him, he hadn’t slept much in the time since you last saw his face.

“August!” You wiggled in your chair, trying anything to loosen your binds.

August’s head shot up. He looked relieved despite the furious way you hissed his name, but his annoyingly handsome face quickly succumbed to irritation. “I told you to stay put,” He said, a certain grit to his voice. “Why couldn’t you just listen?”

“You tied me up and left me in a room so you could kill my family, you asshole. What did you expect, huh? An obedient little girl? I figured by now you’d have learned I’m far from that.”

“Y/N—”

“How could you do this to them, to…me?” Your voice broke, and god, if your hands were free you would’ve slapped yourself silly. Letting him see a crack in your rage was not a power you needed to give him.

“It’s not what you think. At least, not anymore.” August stood from his chair and crossed his arms. “I didn’t betray you. It’s just complicated and, believe me, you are the last person I wanted to get caught in the crossfire,” He said. “I wish I didn’t anymore, but I have a vital role in Lane’s plan. I don’t just get to back out because I met you. I can’t say ‘sorry, I don’t want to work with you anymore because I have a thing for the girl on the other team.’”

“That’s pathetic,” You spit out. “You’re pathetic, and your loyalty to him is disgusting.”

He hummed, seemingly unaffected by your outrage. “Loyalty is not something I have the luxury to hand out like little candies, sweetheart. It goes to whoever I benefit most from.” He paused. “I get something from Lane believing in my loyalty, but it’s not real, baby.” He leaned down and cupped your jaw. “Every last scrap of devotion I have in me truly goes to you.”

You hated the thought of you and him. You grew more nauseous with each memory you replayed in your head. They were lies. Every move you made while he infiltrated your team he’d observed with a sharp eye. Every kiss you gave him he dissected to discover exactly what to do to make you melt in his arms. The way you spoke, what it took to make you smile, what he needed to say to get you into bed; all of it he must’ve stored in the back of his mind to use against you later. It was all fake; every loving gesture he made, a complete ruse. It had to be.

“What do you mean it’s not real?”

“Lane doesn’t know how I really feel about you,” August said simply. “He thinks I’ve been manipulating you for information.”

A scoff left your throat that you couldn’t help to hold back. As far as you were concerned, he was.

“And he needs to keep believing that, because if I suddenly decide not to finish this,” He continued. “Lane will find a way to make me regret it. And I fear if he gives it too much thought, he will realize the truth; that the only way to break me is to hurt you. So, I tried to separate you from it. I tied you up and I told you to stay there!” His words grew harsher with each one that passed his lips, and by the end of his rant his frustration was more than palpable.

“And what, August, starve to death?”

“I was going to come back for you!”

“Why should I believe you?” Tugging at your ropes again, you groaned. Clearly, he tied this knot better than the last. You looked at him again. “My friends could be dead because you handed them off to Lane, so spew all the pretty words you want but nothing will change that. I may never see them again because of you. You might as well have shot them yourself!”

August was in front of you in an instant, his large hands gripping the arms of the chair you were bound to as he leaned down to look you in the eyes. You glared back at him.

“I don’t give a fuck about them! I give a fuck about you! I don’t care who dies as long as you don’t!” He yelled, scolding you like a child. Then he straightened up. He was so tall, hovering above you. “When this is over…when Lane gets his revenge on Hunt, then I’m done. I will have held up my end of the deal, and that is all he cares about. He has no interest in how I choose to spend the rest of my life, a life with you, as long as he gets what he wants. If the bombs go off and Ethan goes down, you and I can--”

‘A life with you.’ Those words made the steady pounding of your heart stumble, but you shook it off. “I won’t help you find Ethan. I won’t help you pin a massive bombing, the loss of so many lives, on him.”

“No, you won’t,” He agreed. “Because you won’t be doing anything. You are going to stay here, out of harms way, while I make sure everything else goes to plan. I killed one of Lane’s men, the one I told to bring you, so we could get away, and that is all the complication I can afford right now.”

Get away to where, you wondered and looked around. You hadn’t taken to time to process where you were, but as you scanned the room, it was not what you expected. It was something of a small apartment. One common area; A small kitchen that was really just a stove and a fridge, and a couch that pulled out into a very uncomfortable looking bed; A single window carved into the wall to your right allowed just enough light seeping through to tell the time of day. “Where are we?”

“My place…temporarily, anyway.” He mumbled. “But, Y/N, I have to go back. I have to play the part until Lane wins this.”

He’d been playing a part, alright, but you weren’t so sure who he was trying to manipulate anymore. You or Lane. Lane or you. The training in you told you it was you, it was always you. His goal, the reason he planted himself in your team, involved taking you down and you had no reason to believe otherwise. But if there was a chance he wasn’t lying, if he really wanted you to be his, you weren’t sure you’d have the willpower to turn him away no matter what horrible things he may have done. He had that unforgiving power over you, unfortunately.

“Don’t do this, August.” You said. “Lane is a villain, he—”

“I know what he is.” He shut you up.

“If you know what he is, then why would you ally yourself with him?”

He sighed. “Y/N…”

“Tell me the truth,” You pressed. “You want me to believe you? Then be honest with me. You owe me that much.”

He paced once, an agitated look marring his beautiful features. At war with himself. You’d seen that look before when you laid in bed together. Now you knew why. “You don’t understand what I’ve been through, and one day I will explain it to you, but I was angry, and working with Lane presented me an opportunity to change things in my own way. To create a better world.”

“Then why give it up? Why bother dropping that fucked up dream of yours? What, have you suddenly seen the error of your ways, August?”

August’s eyes softened as he took a breath. He studied your face in a way that made the last ounce of your tenacity shred to bits. “I’m giving it up because if I don’t, you won’t want me anymore, and I can’t have that.”

“If you still plan to help Lane then it doesn’t make a difference…and I don’t want you.” You lied. Two big, fat liars. Perfect for one another.

“You did a couple days ago.”

Yes…a couple days ago you were kissing him in the early morning before joining the team, musing over the idea of that life together. The idea of being with him, being happy, you craved like nothing else before. He made promises he said he intended to keep. ‘No matter what happens,’ He’d said. ‘One day, you and I will have everything we want.’

He continued. “Y/N, you are all that I care for. I’d give up anything you asked me to. But I’ll also do whatever I have to in order to get us a chance to be together. If that means working with Lane a little longer, then that is what I’ll do.”

“So, to avoid raising suspicion you just had to give my friends over to him, is that right?”

He grabbed the chair he was sitting in earlier and placed it in front of you before taking a seat. “Look, baby, I don’t care about your friends or if Lane kills them, but I know you do, so after I put you in the car, I created a tiny diversion, an advantage over Lane’s men.”

He brushed a few stray hairs behind your ear. You savored that touch, brief as it was.

“Getting you away from there was my main priority, and I didn’t stick around to see the outcome, so I make no promises as to their fate. But…I wanted to do this for you.”

Your eyelids fluttered as you pushed yourself to focus more on his words than the feel of his fingers on your cheek. “So, Lane doesn’t—I mean…they could be fine?” The thought that August spared your friends, or at the very least, gave them the opportunity to escape, made your chest swell. That was the man you had fallen for.

“As long as they took advantage of my generosity, then they could be alive, yes, and might remain so if they don’t run headfirst into the war zone.”

“You know they will.”

“That is not my problem.”

“And Ethan…”

August shook his head. “I won’t give you hope when it comes to Hunt,” He said. “To get what I want with you something must be sacrificed.”

Something? Someone; Anyone, you realized. August clearly didn’t care who. “Then help us take down Lane before he kills all those people. Ethan could get him, and we could escape before Lane even realizes that you aren’t on his side any longer.”

“What?” He rose an eyebrow. If it was anyone’s idea rather than your own, you knew he would have dismissed it without a thought. Assisting Lane was the path of least resistance.

“If all you want is to be with me, for Lane to not cause us any trouble, then why does it matter who you ally with? If something must be sacrificed, why not him?”

----------------

Four Months Later -- Scotland

“Goddamn, baby,” August growled around your nipple in his mouth. He lightly bit down, and you yelped, the sting of it only adding to your desire.

Roughly thrusting into you once more, he pulled out and crawled off your body to stand at the base of the mattress. You whimpered at the loss of contact. Without him on top of you, your internal temperature dropped to unsafe levels.

With his arms under your thighs, he yanked you to the edge of the bed. He kneeled and placed his warm mouth on your cunt, licking and sucking until you were writhing around, clutching the sheets for dear life. God, you loved what he did to you. You loved the feel of him. You loved the way his beard scratched your inner thighs until angry red marks remained long after he left you sated.

He had grown out his facial hair; kept it neat and manageable to avoid the homeless, mountain-man look, but it was no longer close shaven like it was when you were first together. Warm water didn’t exactly make it to shabby, man-made shacks on the abandoned, cliffside beaches of Scotland, and if August didn’t have warm water, he wasn’t shaving. Without a proper hot water system, the hard and frigid ocean was your only source. You only ever bathed together; your combined body heat the one thing that saved you both from freezing to death.

You came with his name tearing from your throat. You could feel his smirk as he lapped at you two more times before kissing his way back up your body to your swollen lips. He placed his mouth on your own, forcing you to taste yourself, then slid himself in you again, thrusting deep until he filled you with his cum.

You knew you were being stupid; that choosing to have sex without protection while hiding from a man that could kill you at any moment was one of the worst choices you could make. But with each day that passed, you cared a little less. The thought of carrying August’s baby turned you both on like nothing else.

He collapsed next to you then tucked you into his side and sighed.

You looked up at him and he smiled back at you. “I fucking love you,” He said.

“I fucking love you, too,” You chuckled as August ran a hand up and down your arm.

He hugged you to him one last time, kissed the top of your head, then untangled his limbs from yours and hopped up from the bed.

You stared at his ass with a grin on your face as he strutted to the kitchen.

“What do you want for breakfast, babe? Oatmeal or…oatmeal?”

“Both,” You called back, sitting up and stretching.

You followed him to the kitchen a moment later, snickering at the small apron he’d tied around his naked waist as he started up the portable camping stove. They weren’t meant to be used indoors, and the breeze from the open windows for airflow chilled your skin.

“Don’t laugh at me, Darlin’. We can’t have sex again if my dick gets burned off.”

Wrapping your arms around him from behind, you placed a feather light kiss between his shoulder blades and said, “Well, I can always find someone else to fuck.”

August tensed on spot and spun around in your arms with a scowl. “That’s not allowed,” He growled.

“The having sex with someone else, or the mentioning of having sex with someone else?”

“Both!” He snapped but all you gave in return was an innocent grin. “Though, secluded, misty beaches are hardly tourist spots. I don’t know who you think you could find to fuck you around here.”

He suddenly made a face as if a bitter flavor coated his tongue.

Your eyebrows rose. “What’s wrong?”

“Having ‘fuck’ and ‘you’ in a sentence without the words ‘I’m going to’ in front of them just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“You’re a dork.” You slapped his chest and pulled away from him, then nudged your head toward the water starting to boil in the pot. “Now pay attention or you’ll burn the water.” You winked.

Just as August was turning back around, his secure phone on the table flashed red and began to buzz. Both sets of eyes darted to it then you looked at one another. Your breaths hung in the air. August quickly took the pot off the burner and tossed it in the sink.

“Get dressed. Get your stuff,” He said sternly, and you jumped into action as he untied the apron and hurried behind you. You both threw clothes on your bodies, then you went to grab the emergency bags from under the bed while August punched some numbers into the small gun safe. Who the fuck knew you were here? You prayed it wasn’t who you thought it was. You knew Lane hadn’t succeeded in his original plan, but that didn’t mean he had been caught. He was resourceful. Regardless, the alarm was tripped so you needed to get the fuck out of dodge. You’d only have minutes.

“Passports.”

“Got them,” You said, running into the bathroom to grab a couple things.

“The cash.”

“Yes.”

“What about—"

Your eyebrows scrunched together at his pause and you dipped your head around the corner. All of the blood drained from your face.

“Drop the gun,” Ilsa’s deep, feminine voice demanded as she held her own gun to the side of August’s head. His lips thinned but he did as she asked. A loud thump sounded through the room that matched the beat in your chest. “And do not move,” She snarled.

With a smirk, August casually put up his hands. “Don’t worry.”

“Where. Is. She?”

You rushed into the room. “Ilsa!”

She looked at you, her confusion evident, then pushed the gun harder into your boyfriend’s temple as if she thought the image of you in front of her was an illusion meant to catch her off-guard. She didn’t trust August, and you couldn’t blame her.

“Ilsa, please. Just put the gun down.”

Her eyes narrowed as they grazed you up and down. You knew she was wondering how it was that you had not a scratch on you, how you had all of your limbs still attached after months of being held captive by the man she considered an enemy.

“Benji, she’s here,” She spoke into her earpiece.

August stared at you, unconcerned despite how close he could be to death. Your fingers twitched. You wanted to run up and yank him away from Ilsa. You wanted to lock him in the bathroom, out of harms way so you could talk your friend down.

Benji came crashing through the front door not a minute later and all tension in his body visibly released at the sight of you. “Oh, thank God.”

“Guys—” Your trembling voice began.

“You’re alright.” Benji blew out a breath. “I gotta tell you, we weren’t sure we would find you there for a second. This asshole is clever,” He said, throwing his thumb over his shoulder in August’s direction. “We have a chopper a couple miles south, so let’s go. Ilsa can deal with--”

“Guys! Stop.”

Ilsa’s lips parted. “Y/N…”

August chuckled at their obliviousness and you glared at him. “We should’ve moved last week,” He said.

You rolled your eyes. “They clearly aren’t Lane, August.”

“I don’t like them any better.” He crossed his arms in defiance, ignoring the gun at the ready to blow his brains out.

“Y/N!” Both Ilsa and Benji shouted at once, drawing your attention to their bugged-out eyes.

“Look,” You made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a groan. “There’s a long story and I will explain but put the gun away. You don’t need it.”

Dubiously, Ilsa lowered her weapon, and with every inch it traveled further away from your boyfriend, the easier it became to breathe.

You reached your hand out and August tried you walk your way, but Ilsa put her arm up, blocking his path. He halted though he could easily snap that arm like a twig.

“Someone needs to speak…now,” She said.

“Where are Ethan and Luther?” You asked.

“Reykjavik,” She replied. “We had two potential leads of your whereabouts.”

It had been easier to track you than you hoped. You’d just left Iceland a few weeks prior.

August looked at you smugly, but his eyes held their usual hint of love that no expression could erase. You knew what he was thinking. ‘I love you, babe, but you should’ve listened to me. If we kept moving, we could be having sex right now.’ He was right. You’d been moving every couple of weeks to throw anyone who might be tracking you off your trail. If you stayed in place, Lane had a better chance of finding you, but you were tired and you liked Scotland. August, soft as was with you, hesitantly agreed to one more week before packing your bags again.

You didn’t notice Benji’s eyes examining the two of you like a hawk honing in on his next prey until it was too late. “Holy shit,” He said, almost stumbling back. “He actually loves you.”

Your head snapped to the left. “Benji—”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! He took you because he loves you! All this time, we thought this asshole was torturing you, maybe even killed you, but he took you because he wasn’t lying about being in love with you?”

You only nodded. He summed it up so eloquently there was little left for you to say.

“Oh, Ethan is going to lose it. This might actually be the thing that does him in.”

You opened your mouth to speak but Benji continued his rambling, now looking to August.

“So, was that the only part of your undercover bullshit that was real, or were you secretly planning to save the rest of us as well?”

“No, I didn’t care if you got killed. Still don’t, actually.” August retorted with a sarcastic smile. “But she does.”

“So, you weren’t with Lane or…?” “Ilsa asked.

“I was, but not since I left with Y/N.” August nudged his head in your direction.

Your friends turned to you. “You should’ve told us,” Benji said.

“I know. I’m sorry, but once we tipped you off about Lane, we had to hide. If he found out it was us before you guys could get to him, then he would’ve killed us both. We didn’t want to take that chance.”

“You tipped us off?” Ilsa’s eyebrow quirked and you could tell her mind was shuffling her thoughts.

“Yes.” August had given you all information he had on Lane and you hoped, after anonymously sending all of it to your team, they’d find a way to take him down. You considered seeing them once more and explaining everything in person, but August wanted to leave immediately and demanded there be no paper trail with your name on it.

Benji sighed. “Well, it worked.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lane is dead,” Ilsa said. “Last month.”

“What?”

Lane...

…dead?

Suddenly, nothing else mattered.

He was gone.

No one was coming after you.

You could go home, wherever you and August would decide that be. You could live the life you promised one another without a threat at any wrong turn.

August rose an eyebrow at you, and when you let out a breathy laugh of relief, he shoved his way past Ilsa.

“Come here, baby,” He whispered only for you, then pulled you to him and kissed you hard.

Benji roughly rubbed his fingers along his forehead, creating wrinkles that were sure to last. “This is so not how I thought this day was going to go.”

---------------------------------------------------

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[leahseclipse]

Souvenirs, secrets and coffee dates

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Summary: Suspicions about a possible partner rise when Spencer starts buying souvenirs and closely monitoring his phone more than he usually does; as he plans a few surprises for his beloved partner in secret.

Warnings: Mentions of case, usual cm stuff, slight mentions of death, loss of a person (not concerning any of the characters; only mentioned in a few paras)

Category: Fluff

Word count: 11.6k

A/N: Hello!! This fic is another fic I accidentally wrote for an event, for @sunlight-moonrise​ !! sorry if some moments are badly written,,,,hope you enjoy tho!!

The total fic is 25.1k, so i preferred to cut it in two parts so it wouldn’t be too long.

Continuation of Dear diary

         After we got together, days quickly got to weeks, weeks to months, and...now

It’s been more than a year.

Time went by more quickly than I thought it ever would, I often think about that diary that allowed the two of us to meet.

I'm glad that she had it in the first place, and that she lost it after. If she didn't have it, she would have either left a book that belonged to the library, (so, not many chances to find her, or even know she exists, you know), or possibly an item that could have her information, like a phone, or whatever she could have left, but, she could have remembered about the diary and take it.

If it would have happened, we wouldn't have talked, and we still wouldn't be, as I just did a few minutes ago on the phone.

And now that I think about it, It’s been a while since I haven’t seen y/n. 

Even though we always talk on the phone, it's not quite the same.

I’m always thinking about her, especially when I’m away on a case and the only thing that allows us to see the other is through a cell phone. 

I tried not to let her know I’m tired, I don’t want her to worry too much, she’s the type of person to freak out about the smallest thing, and I wouldn’t really like her to. 

She worries enough when I’m away, so I wouldn’t like y/n to have another problem to worry about until I get back.

I hate to let her know;  but if there was a word to describe the week I just spent; 

exhausting.

It’d definitely be that one, 100%.

Every single case is exhausting, especially when It’d last more than intended; when the profile has to be done again because of sudden changes, when leads turned out to be fake, or don’t make the case progress in any way, and a ton of reasons that if were to be enunciated, would be worth a encyclopedia long. 

We all know from the moment we’re announced of a case that we'll come back from it completely dead because of the non-existent sleep we would have had. 

One week earlier, I thought it’d be different from usual, and I turned out to be...completely wrong. I had woken up at 3am in a start, just an hour after I had gone to bed with y/n.

She had woken up when I happened to be in the middle of the call, and locked her eyes in mine when I had turned her way while on the phone.

Y/N already knew from the moment I received the call that it meant that I had to go, it had been a few months since we had been together, so she knew the song well after she happened to witness six or seven of the calls.

I knew she didn’t mind because I had to do my job, she has always been very understanding about my work. 

Of course, I think that the fact that I have to go away for god knows how long upsets her, but not in a hateful way.

I sometimes wonder if she actually really minds the fact that I would go; even though she always says that she doesn’t. 

Whenever I go on a case, I don’t even know when I’ll come back. I’m not coming back in three months, but not two days later. 

All we can do to let the other know we’re okay is to call, or send a message; when we happen to have spare time to do it in between breaks.

Well, speaking of calls, these are often calls I have to do when no one else I know is around. I haven’t told any of my colleagues that I’ve been dating her.

I still wonder to this day if it’s because they never mentioned it, saw it, because I didn’t want them to know, or even….both.

I guess it was okay that way, they didn’t know, and nothing changed. We’d still talk the same way as when I wasn’t with her, except for some details, which makes me come back to the ‘talk with her when no one else is around’ topic. 

As I am an idiot in love, I can’t help but smile whenever I talk to her, I just can’t help it. I always like to hear about her day, how she’s doing, talk about whenever we both have in mind, I just even appreciate hearing her. But, all that I’m doing when I’m with her isn’t something I can do when I’m around others.

They’d immediately want to know the reason of my behavior, which would certainly go up all the way to Garcia that would certainly harass me about it for weeks, probably with hundreds of mails and texts, as I have to use my computer for mail work, and my phone for cases, so...texting while no one is around is a much better solution.

I don’t think she minds either. She likes to hear about them, but she never mentions seeing them that often, I think she likes the whole ‘secret’ relationship stuff, she kind of sees it like a game in which you would have to go through levels, without being caught by the villains and eventually, lose the game, so, being discovered.

It wouldn’t be that bad if they’d find out, they’d just probably ask themselves why I wouldn’t have told it, or how they didn’t find out, but overall, I think they’d be happy.

But, I like it that way, when we’re together, we’re in our bubble, it’s just the two of us, no one else. 

We always try not to mention work, as it mainly is the reason we can’t see each other most of the time, which is...a bit more for me, as I’m often still on a case when she happens to not be at work.

I would like to say that the little time we get to spend together is always enough, but when we finally get time, and I get called, it isn't quite enough.

I always wish I could be there more often, I'm at work most of the time and I'm afraid it could somehow impact our relationship; even if again, it isn’t a bother at all to y/n.

One of my worries when we started dating was that she'd feel frustrated because of that; the fact that I'm not here as often as she'd like me to be, that I'm busy when she's not.

I sometimes have to call her to tell that I won’t be able to make it home after I originally told her that I would come.

At first, she didn’t know what I was doing, even when I’d call her. I didn’t even tell y/n at the library back then.

I just mentioned once that it was an office job, and I don’t think she really had a problem with it, she wouldn't force much on the subject.

And now that I think of it,, it wouldn’t have changed much about our relationship if I had exactly said what I was doing.

The way she had discovered it was really odd, but...not that bad.

I had come to her apartment after she was done with work, and I had shortly gone to the bathroom after entering.

 I had left my coat on the table, so she had decided to put it on a chair for me.

What happened next would probably seem stupid and cliché if I'd tell it to anyone, but my badge had slipped out from it and naturally, she picked up what just fell on the ground.

I had crossed the door of the bathroom to see her staring at it, with a confused and kind of surprised look.

It was a mix of these two emotions, I'd say.

I didn't exactly plan for her to find out like that, but I think that when I had previously mentioned an office job, she didn't quite expect that kind of office job.

Which stays understandable, as you don't necessarily think about them literally working at the FBI itself when an office job is mentioned.

And the thing is that, it isn't even a full office job, as I am literally...risking my life out on the field and have a chance to get injured, and uh…in the worst scenario, not make it alive.

So, I think that the fact that I didn't want her to know was to kind of, protect her so she wouldn't worry while I'm at work, asking herself if the last time she would ever see me would be when I had left for work in a hurry.

Yeah, I know, it's kind of morbid to think of it, but, I can't really ignore them at the same time.

They’re mostly the risks that are included, I was completely aware of that when I had entered, so...I can't really complain about anything. No one forced me, it really was a decision that I made alone.

But, it went well overall. 

We can say that she was surprised, that is a fact.

But she wasn't mad that I didn't tell her. She understood that I didn't want her to know because of the stuff that makes my job risky, which can be scary, but she was supportive. 

She asked me a bunch of questions after that, they all were various and different. I felt like I was a teacher answering questions of a kid, considering how energetic y/n was.

Eventually, the subject of the jet, that I'd travel from one state to another came, and that's when I felt like something lightened inside her.

She had never mentioned it back then, so that way, we both had a common point, a small secret that the other didn’t know.

She had begun talking about her passion of travelling, discovering places she wondered what could be made of, how it was, she always was curious to know more, she'd go wherever her mind would tell her to...which was funny, as the mind would often lead her to the same place, many times, strangely.

Y/N also had the habit of taking books from different places. I remember her having copies of the same book, but each were in a different language. 

She didn’t do it with all of her books, because if she did, she’d have to literally dedicate a whole room to store them.

She hasn't been able to travel much after she started working full time, with little vacation time. But if she didn’t have this full time job, she’d travel as much as possible. 

So, I had a small idea. 

As I'd often travel, I could possibly grab a souvenir from the state I'm in, and give it to her. I thought it could be fun, she also liked collecting objects from the places she'd go to, so, I thought she would probably like the idea.

I didn't say that I planned to do it the first time, I did want to surprise her, even if I was already doing it when I'd come home when she thought I wouldn’t.

It always was a surprise to see me coming back, neither of us knew when it'd be done, so I would rarely get to tell her when I could be back. 

But, the gifts I began doing were very special, it meant something to her, what she liked, and eventually, to me. 

She meant everything to me and if that was making her happy, it truly was all that mattered in that moment.

The first souvenir I had purchased when I happened to be in California, we had just wrapped up the case; when I had decided to wander around, not far from where the jet was.

I had already gone around quite a few times since the beginning of my career, so I knew where I was going.

That’s when my eyes laid on a shop I hadn't seen before. It must have opened recently; but it really seemed nice at first sight. It sold a bunch of souvenirs, some related to the state’s local traditions, or some cute stuff with the name of the state on it. 

As I quietly entered the small shop and walked a bit around, I noticed a small keychain of a bee next to a honeycomb.

Two details above the name of the state written in calligraphy could be seen; so after a bit of thinking, millions of questions whether it was nice or not, I just decided to take it.

I hadn't even realized that I had spent a whole hour in it stressing over what could be fine and what wasn’t.

It basically was a call from Morgan that made me realize that I had been there for almost an hour.

I did eventually make my way back to where the group was, I didn't even know they were actually there because they were waiting for me, for...a bit of time.

I had just told them some kind of excuse, and even if I think they didn’t quite believe it 100%, the subject had been quickly changed. I think they kind of forgot about it after.

I didn’t have many relatives in California, and they hadn’t seen the reason for my prolonged absence this time. 

It’s just that, even if it had been almost half a year, I still wasn’t quite ready, I still wanted everything to be the two of us, for a bit more. We didn’t have a deadline or anything, so we could take as much time as possible to decide about it.

I don’t think they’ll be angry, just really surprised that I hid the fact that I had a girlfriend from them for a while now. 

They just probably won’t have thought that the genius of the BAU would spend his free time with his girlfriend, and not with books and paperwork as they expect me to, and as I always did.

So, they'll know that I didn’t answer my phone because I had muted it when I was with her. 

They probably won’t believe it at all at first.

They'll probably think of a prank, but when it’s gonna hit, I think I have to get ready for a week of questions and conversations about the fact that the genius got a girlfriend.

I know it isn’t mean at all, they’ll just be surprised, and happy for me, but, every time I try to talk to them, thinking they chose to abandon the subject, they’ll immediately try to talk about it.

It’ll have to happen eventually -if they do find out- but I still want it to stay secret for now.

The fact that I also buy stuff for her can also be seen as a sort of top-secret mission, if -of course- the words that I’m using aren’t too exaggerated. 

I don’t usually buy souvenirs for myself, so if they see me doing it, I think they’ll try to think if it isn’t for someone else. 

But, are they going to think it’s for my mother, or directly for a possible girlfriend? 

I tend to stutter when I get nervous sometimes, and as it’ll be about y/n, I might not manage to stay serious.

I’m supposed to not let them know I have a girlfriend, even if I really want them to know.

I kind of feel bad, because that looks like I don’t want them to know because I don’t like her, but that’s the complete opposite.

I love her more than anything, and the fact that I don’t want her to be involved with my work is because I mostly want her to be safe.

There's been many cases where various members of the team, or even people working near us, had to witness their loved ones getting involved in a case, and I wouldn’t want that to happen to y/n at all.

I know that one day or another, we’ll tell them, and that when the day comes, I’ll have to make sure nothing happens by calling her every second to know if she’s okay.

I’ll be worried as hell for her, even if that doesn’t mean that she’ll immediately get targeted, I’m just a worried mess about that. 

I’m probably the only one thinking about that, constantly.

Does it make me sound crazy? Yes and no at the same time, if I ever were to answer that question in an honest way. 

I just tend to imagine scenarios that probably have no chance of ever happening when it comes to someone that I deeply care about, which is...basically the whole team, my mom, and her. 

So: literally everyone in my life right now.

Back to where I was, it’s better not to let anything slip out, even if I do feel like...it isn’t the thing I’d usually do.

It..isn’t quite something people would expect me to do. 

Maybe I’ll talk to her about it when I come back, it may be a good time, I guess.

Whether the choice would be, I'll still keep bringing her souvenirs as I always did, she likes them every time, and even displayed some a bit everywhere around her apartment.

This kind of became a tradition between us.

Y/N would often do the same by organiszing nights where I'd be the one deciding what we would do, which would be watching doctor who till 2AM most of the time.

I wonder if she doesn’t hate me after that.

I do hope we’ll get to it often.

I do miss that.

++

When was the last time I got a moment to breathe without having to worry about the work waiting for me outside?

A while ago, if I had to be honest with myself.

I don’t even feel like thinking about it, it’s really depressing.

It’s been a while now since the last time I had time to talk with y/n, because trust me, I’ve never been waiting that much for a break to get to call her than for something else.

I’m just waiting for just a minute to get to talk, but the odds aren’t going in my favor today apparently. It kind of makes me feel bad to just send a text, I know she’ll understand I’m busy with work and can’t call, but still, I prefer to call her over than texting words.

I tend to prefer to hear her voice and get her to talk if I ever hear worry in her voice, because I always know that she tends to not say everything in texts, I understand her on that one, a message and an actual conversation isn’t the same.

 You can’t really figure out the mood of the person in texts, it’s just commas, points, but otherwise, it’s up to you to guess whether they just typed like that or if something is up.

I just like to know if she’s okay, I wouldn’t want her to spend the day feeling down, and not talk about it because I’m either busy, or because she’s afraid it might add more stress than I already have because of my job. 

But I’d never refrain y/n from talking about what bothers her, on the contrary, I always want to know what’s in her thoughts, I’m often absent, so at least, I’d prefer to know she feels okay, because otherwise, I won’t stop worrying until I know.

I haven't forgotten about the souvenir tradition either. 

It's been a while since I've been doing that, and we both have begun liking it more and more each time, I get to talk to her about the place I got it from, and sometimes, I even end up rambling about the case.

She also tells me stuff about the place if she visited it, or if she didn't; places that make her think of the place the souvenir was from, it's always interesting to have these conversations, we both get to learn stuff.

When these kinds of conversations occur, we either continue the subject or change it, and don't even notice how much time we spend talking.

Our best record is 2:54AM. Let's hope we don't go further next time we have a chat; because we always end up regretting it the next morning. 

Considering the lack of sleep I have, and how late I go because of my work, sleeping late on my days off isn't helping at all.

It only makes it worse for when I'll actually get back to work, so, we'll try not to stay up that late and sleep to at least enjoy the sleep I usually don't have when on a case.

I’m always saying that, but it’s not that easy sometimes, we usually don’t think about the time we spend talking, so, the ‘going to bed early’ matter is still an unsolved problem for now.

Talking about it, I did get to sleep early today, we decided to continue the searches and I have to admit that I didn’t sleep like that for a while.

I can’t really say that I hope it arrives often because that would literally be like not doing much, because as we don’t sleep as much as we’d like to, we can totally stay in bed all day if no one comes to get us out.

It reminds me of when I was around 12, my mom would sometimes allow me to stay at home, and we would just sit in bed while she would talk to me about what she liked, anything that went through her mind. 

She does like to hear about my mom too, and actually slid the matter in the conversation quite a few times, more than I could ever count, little does she know my mom does the same, they both are happy to hear about the other, they look like two best friends sometimes. 

I do wonder if they’ll act like that, it won’t really surprise me if they actually do to be honest, they both like similar things, used to do same things before, and I think y/n would like to hear about some of my mom’s stories, or even just my mom talking, she always manages to keep the other person interested, I always feel like a kid when I talk with her.

I do guess some things never change.

They will both have a lot to tell, y/n traveled a lot when she was younger, and still remembers every trip she did, and noted everything down in not one notepad, but at least three of four of them. 

She writes what she did, where she went, what she liked the most, some of her favorite things like, stuff she purchased, activities, it really is a whole story, she could literally write one book for each trip at this point and if I’d tell her about it, I do think she would do it.

And sometimes, when she would read a book, or even when we would just go to the library together, she would often find something that reminded her of one of her travels. 

She mentioned not having an eidetic memory at all, but by moments, I wonder if she doesn’t have it without knowing it, considering all of the stuff she remembers.

Y/N always liked to do new stuff she hasn’t done, she likes to learn a lot, but only when it comes to non-educational purposes, she wasn’t really a good student.

Apparently to her, sitting all day in a chair with a teacher yelling at you, or either saying nothing but nonsense you can’t understand was absolutely ‘boring as hell’, as she said with her own words.

I do, and don’t agree with that at the same time, I don’t know. I’ve always had the habit of studying instead of doing what most people my age would do when I was young, but I did want to do something else after working more than my liking.

Guess it hasn’t changed much now, I pretty much work most of the time, and, unfortunately, I don’t get to rest whenever I want, only if the case happens to be over.

But, enough talking of the case, and all of the days of absence that comes with it. 

I already have to endure it, so might as well not plunge the knife deeper than it is, it’s been many years since it’s been occurring and it shouldn’t be more of a bother than it is as I’ve already made myself into the idea in the first week.

I actually wonder if it’s the same on her side, I know she doesn’t have the same sleep habits, but she doesn’t always go to sleep at the same time. It’s always because of various reasons like; she began remembering a trip and wrote about it, thought about a trip too and got lost in her thoughts.

I often find her daydreaming most of the time, it does remind me of myself with my books, I don’t pay much attention to what's happening around me.

If I take for example the moment we met, I don’t know if it really counts. I only saw her diary first, but I paid attention to the item that belonged to her, so, in a way, it counts. 

She’s also pretty much what keeps me sane when I’m working, she manages to send messages at the right time just when I need to. I have no idea how she does it, but if she could do it everyday, I literally would not mind at all.

I always like to hear whatever she talks about, a book, a story she already told a week ago, I know she likes to talk about them on repeat until she either forgets it or moves to another one.

She seriously could have been a teacher if she had chosen another career, her voice is really soothing, and she explains the words in a manner that makes the story more interesting that you’d thought. 

I often found myself asking her to tell another one when I had found the previous one too short for my liking, when it literally lasted over half an hour. 

She literally has the power of transforming me as a kid when she talks about stuff she did on a trip.

But, even after she told me all of that, I don’t really enjoy the kind of travelling I’m doing. It isn’t like a vacation, at all, it really is the exact opposite. I don’t really come here for the purpose of having fun. 

I do hope I’ll get to travel with her once, in the purpose of actually having fun instead of two hours of sleep, having a chance of -possibly- getting injured, and all of the good and funny risks of my job. 

And, while I’m talking about it, I do hope, if we decide not to go far, that I’m not going to actually have a case when I’m supposed to have a vacation.

This stays like, extra rare, but it can’t really be ruled out at the same time. So...let’s hope it doesn’t occur, I’d prefer not. 

If we travel, it’ll be to stay out of work, so if the reason that basically refrains us from travelling happens, I’m not sure either of us would be pleased with it.

I'm far enough away, so, let’s not add more and hope that scenario won’t occur once.

I’ve already stayed buried for way too long in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Morgan standing besides me before I thought of turning my head in his direction. 

“Oh, sorry. Thought of something and got carried away...did you say something?”

“I know that I don’t usually talk about that with you, but I was just wondering, is there something going on? You always go away for calls, have something to do before we get back home, or after, I thought I’d check on you, just to know.”

Well shit. What the hell am I supposed to say now?

“No, it’s nothing, really. I just um...it’s just some stuff with...an old friend. It’s nothing bad, I’m fine.”

Ok, you’re definitely screwed right now, good luck to get out of this mess Spencer.

“Nothing, really? That’s kinda rare from you.” He commented, which made the two of us laugh, Derek always managed to lighten the situation with whatever he thought could do it, even if some words happened to be placed...at the wrong moment sometimes; but he’d never mean to harm, always to make things better as much as he could. 

This situation wasn’t a bad one, but I definitely think that he could sense that I wasn't telling…what he truly would take as the right answer.

It definitely wasn't bad, but it probably won't get as bad as it is, I've already put myself in a mess I have no idea how to avoid by not managing to find my words and stuttering.

That really was the right thing to do to avoid all suspicions.

"I'm just tired, that's it. I couldn't sleep much this week, so...yeah, I—" I said, as I was getting to thank whatever god made me get out of this mess by making someone call.

At this point, even if it was a number that called me to advertise whatever stuff they wanted people to buy, I'd still be thankful for it. 

I slightly got the phone out of my pocket, it wasn't an unknown number, just y/n; the one that just saved me from an interrogation. 

I swear that when I come back I'll cancel our doctor who marathon, cook her whatever she wants, give her a bath, massage her, because she really saved me from a conversation I couldn't get out of and didn't know how to either. 

Gosh what would I do without her? I'd be dead right now.

"Oh, it's uh, my friend, I have to answer. I uh...see you in a few minutes." I excused myself as I went into an empty room, checking a million times if I locked the door behind me.

"Gosh, y/n...you just saved me. Tell me whatever you want when I get back, I'll do it."

"Just breathe, it's ok. You sound like you just ran through the whole city." Y/N told me, as I heard like she was holding off laughter probably from how dramatic I was acting. 

And in a way, she was right, I wouldn't be mad if she laughed. "Wha- What happened?" She asked.

"Well uh, I was thinking of something and got lost in my thoughts, and all of a sudden Morgan comes to me, asking if everything was okay because he wanted to check in case, and like an idiot, I stuttered at the moment when I told that it was a friend, because I almost mentioned that it was my girlfriend."

"And you just did a whole theater play for that? They'll have to know at some point, and if that happened, it wouldn't have been death. Still, it wouldn't have been the best way, but not the worst one either."

"Yeah, I know y/n, but, I prefer them to know another day, a special one, not when a colleague asked me if I was fine when my whole team could know, and possibly Garcia, who won't stop for a whole week."

"You're being dramatic Dr. Reid."

"No- I'm not!"

"You are."

"N—"

"You. Are. I have the last word, no matter what. I don't know when and how you want them to know, but we can't keep hiding it till we're married and have two kids with a third on the way at some point. And they're not anyone, they're like your family, and if you like, respect and trust them, so do I."

"Yeah, you're right. But not now. I trust you too, don't go behind my back to the office either.”

"You just gave me a suggestion."

"And that wasn't a suggestion."

"That seemed like it."

"They won't let you in, so, do what you want."

"I'll show them pictures."

"They could be photo-shopped, anyone with good skill can make it seem like a real picture."

"I have videos."

"Same thing, it stays a file that can be edited with a software. How do you think they do the effects in movies and shows? With a software."

"You're no fun Reid."

"You're lying, you always laugh at my jokes."

"No, I'm not."

"I can even tell through a call that you're lying."

"You're a bad profiler."

"Then how do I solve crimes and can tell that you love me, Spencer Reid, the ultimate genius." I said, with a dramatic voice as if I was saying lines of a play.

"...I do love you."

"I already know it because I do too."

"Don’t avoid the subject, we’re still gonna have to tell them.”

“...really?” I asked, with a tiny voice.

“Yeah, really. I think he asked you because you were acting like nothing but suspicious, and if, on top of that, he saw you buying stuff, you’re not close to being dead. And also, if I remember correctly from what you said, Penelope is really chatty, so that might go up to her, and once she hears about it, you know. She might not have an eidetic memory, but I don’t think that she, or even anyone else will forget it.”

“I’m dead, I know. I’m still asking myself if he’s not the only one that knows. They might all know it but keep their mouths shut. I can’t go and ask them either, so it’s all a waiting, guessing game right now.”

“You should have told them from the beginning.”

“I have to remind you that you weren’t against it either. We’re both in it.”

“...true. You have a point genius.”

“So, what’s the plan then?”

“Tell them at some point, we’re not going to reveal it in ten years. I have no possibility of reaching out to them, except stealing your phone, which isn’t possible as you’re away, so the only way they’ll know is through you.”

“But, we’re not really forced to. There’s not a rule or anything that says you are obligated to state if you have a partner or not.”

“It’s not the same, they’re like your family, in a way, if you ignore DNA stuff and all, you’ve been working with them longer than we know each other, they’re not strangers, I think they’ll be happy to know you’re sharing your life with someone.”

“You have a point this time.”

“Mind you, I’ve had the point since the beginning of our chat, which I think…had been lasting way too long, by the way.”

“How many….” I questioned, as I took away the phone from my ear to see the time. “Oh, almost six minutes, that’s...a bit long for a chat I’m supposed to have with a friend.”

“Yeah, a bit too long. Oh, by the way, before you go, I’ll be at your apartment, I felt like it needed a small clean, it’s been a while since you’ve been away, and you’ve been staying a lot at my place, so might as well come back to a clean apartment.”

“You don’t have to, I’ll clean myself.”

“I've been there for the last three hours, I didn’t plan on asking for your permission. I just have to hope no one you know decides to come by.”

“Penelope? No, she’s always busy.”

“You told that last time, and she popped up out of nowhere because she had something to give you, and if she had a key, she would have seen a half naked girl in the middle of her friend’s apartment, how’s that?”

“I didn’t know she would actually come, she never did before.” I said, with a small voice, kind as if I was being grounded by my mother.

“Unless someone forgot to charge their phone, which was you, so that’s why she came.”

“It only happened once.”

“And it’ll happen again if you don’t charge your phone. Luckily you were there and you heard, because if you didn’t hear and as I said, she happened to have a key, what would have happened if she would have seen items that belong to me, and the owner of these when you’re supposed to have no partner in your life as they don’t know anything?”

“Um...they would have known.”

“That’s why we have to stop this small game soon. I sounded like a mother talking to her child, I’m...sorry about that. Um...I know you can’t, as you like...remember everything, but, do as your brain is a computer, delete that chat.”

She also sounds like a child too, we’re both kids to be honest.

“I can’t do that.”

“Um...what about I buy you books?”

“We can make a deal then.”

“I can’t believe that...we’re both kids.”

“Yeah, but I mean, that’s why we get along.” I commented.

“I can’t believe how I’m still handling you. We also look like an old married couple.”

“You do, I don’t.”

“I’m not so sure about that- Spencer it’s been almost ten minutes now, you should uh...go back.”

“Ten minutes...since when? Now I’m definitely dead.”

“I wish I could say yes but, you’re almost dead, if you manage to avoid suspicion after...of course.”

“Yeah, that’s an easy thing to say…?”

“I can’t talk to them and say ‘oh hi, I’m Spencer’s secret girlfriend, since half a year’, because apparently it’s not the right moment.” She said, ironically. 

“Okay, I get it...we’ll do it when I get back, I don’t know. We can’t wait another year at this point, it’s a bit too late and the suspicions raised themselves...a bit too much to be dissipated.”

“It’s been a while so, yeah, it’s time. We should have told them since we met at the library.”

“Yeah, maybe we should have..”

“But we can be proud of ourselves, especially you, if uh...of course, they don’t know. Because, I’m just saying, but...they could know, but choose to not say anything until they’ll realise that you know that they know you have a girlfriend. I’m...just saying.”

“So, there might be a chance that I’m already screwed and I didn’t know, or that they just have suspicions but don’t really know…? If you get it…?”

“Yep, and the worst part is that you can’t go and ask them, because if they actually don’t know, you’ll just be revealing what you thought they knew but actually don’t.”

“That whole story is an endless maze. I’m thinking we shouldn’t have waited that long.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have.”

“Yeah. I think I’m gonna go, I’ll uh...be back tomorrow towards the beginning, middle of the afternoon, we’re almost done, we have like...some papers left and other stuff.”

“Okay, don’t make me wait too long, I’ll be waiting at your place.”

“I’ll be back before you even know it.”

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too.”

They’re not gonna believe the friend excuse anymore at this point

I stayed for more than ten minutes, no one stays that long with me. I don’t really know, the team’s always with me, so when we talk it’s case related or short texts in general, and it’s not really part of my habits to go away for that long. 

I guess we’ll see.

With a soft sigh, I unlocked the door before lowering the handle down, exiting the room to walk to where I originally was, already hoping to get some remarks.

“I was about to come to where you went to check if you weren’t dead.”

“It’s been a while since we talked, that’s all Derek. Why?”

“Nah, just asking.” He said, raising his two hands up above his head.

“Ok then..?” I almost panicked when I answered, but I think that my reaction was enough for him to see it as I was confused...I think.

Okay, I think they already know by now, awesome.

I even came to the point of wondering if they knew and were just pretending to not know all along. They could have stayed in silence, acting like they didn’t know.

It also was a bit my fault, I did let some details slip, like my behavior, how I checked my phone more often, my long absences, again, how I talk, avoiding suspicion became kind of difficult.

Especially a bit after we started dating; we got really closer, and talking often helped us fill the distance. I really felt bad for leaving her alone that often, so at least I’d feel less guilty by talking to her whenever I could.

It really changed fast, just a few days ago, I didn’t even plan on telling it at all, but, y/n did convince me to not do so, and now, it might not be a good idea to continue pretending. 

It’s kind of obvious that they know something is up, they’ve known me longer than her, so obviously, they know when something is different about me.

I just...was so focused on her, that I didn’t even think that they’d notice to be honest.

But, as she said, I don’t think that it’ll be...that bad. They’ll be understanding, and happy, that’s all. 

They’ve always been a bit shocked when they’d think I had a girlfriend; because I really wasn’t the guy to have one to them, I don’t really know how to explain as I’m not in their heads, but I saw it that way, but again, that wasn’t in a mean way, they were just surprised. 

Except this time, they won’t think that I don’t have a partner, they’ll definitely think I have one this time.

We didn’t really pay attention to the world around us, especially me, if I were to be really honest. 

I just fell so hard for her, I would always be talking to her, thinking about her, and only looking at her when she’d be with me.

I always hold her hand when we go out together, I don’t know why, I can’t say more than a few minutes without it, and also, it’s always funny to compare our hand sizes, it’s cute.

Also another thing, I can’t help but mimic the emotions on her face sometimes, without even realizing it, because when she smiles, I also happen to do so.

I just can’t help myself but think about things that make her so perfect in my eyes; she truly means a lot to me and I can’t seem to imagine what my life would be like if she didn’t happen to be in it.

I remember saying stuff like; “When you meet your soulmate, remember that the act of bringing you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other.”, or even, “Maybe the events in our lives were set in motion a long time ago”; that may sound like cheesy sentences, or whatever means to anyone else; but I guess it’s just how I see things, I do mean it when I say these.

I’ve noticed she always likes to hear them, she wouldn’t see it as rambling or anything else, just a sentence like another one I’d casually say, she admitted quite a few times that my talking never bothered her in any way.

Even if most of it was rambling, and facts, stuff that anyone else would be bored of after one minute; but y/n never did, she would often be the one to ask me about it, she wanted to know stuff too, and get to brag about it to people she knew.

I really like these little things, the small details about each other, what we think, what we like, and what we know to do to make the other happy, including the small souvenirs I bring her when I get the occasion. 

This time, it’s a small pumpkin, it’s not halloween related at all, just a cute pin. I know we’re literally in January, but it’s our favorite holiday, and we happen to talk about it all year, no matter what month it is. 

We also like other holidays, but that one stays our favorite. We’ve always had a liking for it.

Since it’s almost February, it means that Valentine's Day is close, so...I could possibly do a small event, or a letter, or even organise some stuff we could do on dates.

There’s plenty of time to plan all of it, I’ll just keep it in the corner of my head and think about it again when the occasion comes.

++

No matter how many times it happens, I can’t help but always feel relaxed when I come back home after a case, it isn’t always fully happy as the thought of the families often haunt my mind, I can’t help but feel a bit guilty, the cases ends up getting resolved, but the families never move on, only me as I go back to the bureau, and get called for another.

It’s always hard to think about it, and we’ve at least found ourselves getting stuck on a case even after it got resolved; but at least, if that can be reassuring, in a way, the ones who had committed the crime won’t harm anyone else and make other people lose their loved ones, that’s what I try to tell myself when I can’t get the thought out of my mind.

It also helps to be with the people I'm closest to and appreciate, with the team, we've been through it more than we can recall, and it helps to talk about it between us, try to find a tiny ounce of light in the tragedy, and even when the case impacts us personally, we try to move on, because even if we don't know the victim most of the time, it's not good to suffer for too long, they wouldn't want that for their families, or anyone else that might have cared about them, we have to learn to move on, at our own pace and honor their lives. 

That's the best we can do for them, and even though we don't know them, we sometimes happen to think about the victims, it's hard not to get impacted by it, but when it happens, we have to try to not let it touch deeply and do our best to find the author of the crime, for them, and their loved ones, whom the pain will lessen with time for some, but will always stay deep inside their hearts. 

The aftermath of a case is always rough, but we don't have much choice to face it like we can, and get ready for the next one.

I'm really glad to have everyone in my life around me, they're the one who I talk to, confide in, laugh with, and spend the most of my time with, but that last is an exception sometimes.

When I'm not on a case and have no papers, I often happen to be with y/n, and find some kind of excuse to say to the team they believe...or not, it depends. 

When I happen to decline their offer, they either think that I'm going to spend the night watching whatever show I brag about, or read, but...when I do think that's the reasons they have in mind, I realize that I underestimated them too fast by thinking of a simple and silly reason when they literally began immediately thinking of the real stuff, which is in that case, me having a partner.

So, yeah, the reason they think about when I don't join them is because of a partner. Which they think is definitely real; because of my "successful" way of hiding it. 

I'm sure they already know it by now, I'm not sure of it, but at least I know that I can't really go back. They definitely know something is up and trying to hide it more won't lessen the suspicions, on the contrary.

They’ll be informed of it officially in a bit, I’m not sure when, I just want it to be special not just a; “Oh, here’s my girlfriend.”, I don’t really want it to happen this way.

I’m literally about to plan a whole meeting with her and the team, while I could just shorten it to something more simple.

I may be over dramatic over this…

I guess we have time though, I’m barely coming from a case, and I’d prefer to spend the next days with her, because if I would plan it, she doesn’t have to know at all, which means I’ll have to hide stuff, see her less, and that’s the last thing I would want to do after not seeing her for what felt weeks to me.

Again, yes, I may be a bit overdramatic;, I admit it, but even when I talk to her on the phone, text her or even buy stuff, I still want nothing more but to see her; nothing replaces the feelings I have when she’s close to me. 

I do like to hear her voice even when it’s through a phone, but I prefer over everything to just  have her close.

I wish it could have happened now, but we all know what returning from a case is, paperwork and all, we don’t immediately go home, as much as we all want to do it more than anything after the week we’ve had.

I’ll be in my car before I even think of it, I just have to do what I have to do, and it’ll be over, I would have said “as soon as possible”, but I doubt Hotch will accept reports done in two minutes, and upset him is the one thing no one wants to see, we’re all tired, so our patience eventually tends to be limited, which is understandable. 

I thought that I would have been able to think of going home as I previously told, but I soon found myself struggling to stay away and focused on the left work on my desk. If she had happened to work with me, even if I were to be tired, I’d ignore it because I would be busy staring at her every two seconds, and eventually, lose all focus.

And even though she wasn’t with me at work, I still happened to freeze for two minutes in the same spot when I thought of her.

I just can’t wait to see her again, I really missed her a lot.

I was so distracted on the way in that I almost drove to her place before remembering she said that she would be waiting at my apartment yesterday.

She's probably gonna be either in the bathroom taking a bath, as she always prefers my bathroom. Her apartment has a shower, and as she finds it too tiring to stand sometimes, she prefers to shower at my place, and I kind of understand her and agree with her on this point. 

When I come from work, I just want to lay down and stay up only if I need to, which tends to become rare once I'm in my bed, and basically nonexistent when y/n happens to lay besides me, and even if I dared to think of leaving without her, I think she wouldn't agree, we literally both can't stay away from each other, we're as magnets, in a way.

She could also be watching the same episodes of Doctor Who for god knows how many times. I would often find her still watching it at 2AM when I'd wake up at night.

I even had to pull her to bed myself, and tossed her over my shoulder once. 

I don't think she's sleeping now, she's literally a ball of energy, if I take the 'still watching tv at 2am' matter. If I didn't pull her to bed, I bet she would have kept watching it.

I would normally say that she's a child, but I'm also a child myself sometimes, so I can't make fun of her, which would literally be as I made fun of me; but it's okay, we often make fun of the other, so there's so harm in doing it, as it's basically how we talk generally.

Which includes her calling me 'genius', 'smart pants', '187', and, I know it isn't the subject, but, gosh, her smile when she laughs, it's honestly one of my favorite things about her. 

So, her making fun of me isn't that bad if it means that I get to see her laughing and all happy.

As I looked at the surroundings, I soon came to the realization that I happened to be close to the destination, just a block away I'd say. 

If there weren't other cars around me, and people, I would have sped as I was on a highway to get there faster.

Although the ride was less than a quarter of an hour (depending on traffic, it could maximum be twenty minutes), it still somehow felt longer…if I don't count the times I had to stop to let people cross the street. 

I also really blamed other people for being there at the moment as I was driving, that was a bit stupid, people weren't going to stop because I had to see my girlfriend (even if, I admit that I wouldn't have mind if they did stop, it could...be nice.), they absolutely don't care about it, as much as again, the inverse could have been cool, but absolutely unlikely to happen in this reality.

I sighed for a long minute when the familiar structures came to my field of view, logically meaning that I was really close to see her, I wish I could have sped the car, but as always, people.

I hope she doesn't mind the fact that I made her wait (and still am right now), but I'm pretty sure she won't mind, just "yell" at me about it, but nothing including hate. 

As I stopped the engine in front of the building, undoing my seatbelt and stepping out of the car before locking it after my exit, I excitedly made my way to the entry of the building, almost tripping on some of the steps considering how impatient I was.

Although I was really impatient, I wouldn't have quite appreciated the fact of breaking a leg, so I obviously slowed down and paid attention a bit more.

You could really compare it as what a kid feels like on the morning of Christmas waking up to see his present, except right now, what I was truly waiting for, was to see her when I'd open the door; but she wasn’t only a gift, she was my everything, my person.

I really tend to get emotional when I talk about her, I don’t know why. I remember almost crying when I thought she hurt herself badly one day, but she only fell down a step, it was nothing bad, but I really thought she had broken something, I hope she didn’t break a bone or anything else while I was gone; she often tends to be clumsy.

After getting lost in my thoughts (for the millionth time today), I took the keys out of my pocket and softly opened the door, closing it once I entered while trying not to make a lot of noise.

It quite surprised me to see my apartment this time.

Small lights were attached to the wall, above it, small polaroid pictures taped down, some hearts, probably cut down, in coloured paper I think.

The only lights were coming from the ones attached to the wall, so the apartment wasn’t quite visible, but still, I didn’t turn the light on in case she happened to be asleep, which happened to be what I expected, as I saw a distinct figure on a couch, a blanket wrapped around it. 

I sat down to her level, taking a moment to watch her for a bit before putting my hand on her head, as I gently stroked her hair.

The sight of her was so beautiful, and after being away for a week, it truly was the best thing to come home to. I could never get sick of it, that became my favorite thing to see after we met, and it’ll always stay that way, I don’t think it’ll ever change.

I could watch her for hours, and I wouldn’t even realize how much time would go by, But realizing it, I don’t know if that could be considered as psychopath behavior…

As long as there’s no bad intentions, I guess it isn’t.

Yeah, I think the lack of sleep is kicking in right now, I’m saying weird stuff. Y/N would probably say I’m crazy if she ever happened to hear me.

I also figured out that while she was asleep, I could possibly give her a little bit more sleep, while I take a shower, change myself and possibly cook some food? 

Without burning it...of course.

I wouldn’t like her to eat burned food, even if she won’t really mind, she’s not a good cook either, so at least we understand each other. But still, I’d like her to eat something not burned.

I’ll just see what I can do after, I already have things to do, and if I keep thinking I still won’t have done one thing before she wakes up.

Stroking her hair one more time, I raised myself up as I glanced at her one more time, smiling as I did so. I left the room, heading to the bathroom.

I’m not going to lie to myself, but I literally spend less time in the bathroom than usual.

All of my motions were sped up and without even realizing it, it probably was mainly because I was way too impatient to get out of the room to have y/n in sight again.

I honestly never did that with anyone else before, was I scared that she would suddenly disappear or something? She was literally asleep.

Yeah, I tend to get paranoid even when she’s in the next room, with absolutely no danger in sight, I just imagine stuff that could seem a bit ridiculous if heard by someone else.

I guess that’s why I don’t talk to anyone about it, but, I don’t think anyone would take it badly, I just -again- think people are going to react badly- when it’s perfectly normal, everyone worries about their loved ones, maybe not as bad as me, but- they worry.

But now, absolutely everything is fine, I don’t have to start worrying, I’m gonna walk out of the bathroom and she’s simply going to be there, exactly where she was when I left, probably asleep...or not.

She doesn’t have a light sleep at all, it’s a task to wake her up in the morning, and I don’t think she ever woke up when I accidentally dropped utensils in the kitchen one day. I just saw her slightly moving, but when I called her name, she didn’t even wake up. 

That happened to be quite surprising when I just saw her, sitting on the couch as I left the bathroom.

We looked at each other, and I just froze in place, kind of confused. 

She never wakes up first, I’m the one who usually wakes her up, so, I was quite confused when I just saw her awake, about to stand up.

“I didn’t hear you coming…” Y/N said, rubbing her eyes.

“That’s literally because I did everything not to wake you up. Did the uh...water wake you up?”

“I just woke up a few minutes ago, oh and I’m sorry, I was just tired after you know, cleaning, and that…” She explained, pointing at the decorations. “I can just take them off if you don’t like them, it’s-”

“What- no! I like what you did, that’s really nice.” I quickly reassured her, making my way towards the couch. “Why would you think I wouldn’t like it?”

“I just, you don’t decorate it often, so I thought I’d do that, I...I’m not sure if you’ll be home for valentine’s day as you were away often because of work, so...I did that, so you wouldn’t feel bad or anything. Is it too much?”

“Not at all. Don’t worry, I do get why you did that. I hope you don’t feel bad, I’m kind of worried that you feel upset when I’m away, I’m not here as much as I would like to be, you didn’t expect this when we started dating, I feel bad sometimes.”

“I don’t feel bad, you’re just doing your job, and hey, even if some cases don’t end well, you get to catch the ones who did it, so they won’t hurt anyone else, so why would I get upset?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And, I know that even if you don’t say it, you’re worried for me, so don’t be. I’m completely fine, and if anything happens, you know that I’ll call you.”

“I know too, and you don’t lie on this point because you called me once when there was a spider in your shower.”

“...yeah, I did. And you laughed at me when I called.”

“That’s because I knew she wasn’t as big as you described. When I came, she didn’t even have the size of a coin, she was so small.”

“She wasn’t that small.”

“She kind of was. She wasn’t two millimeters tall, but not two centimeters.”

“I exaggerated a bit.” She admitted, slightly hitting me with her elbow when she saw a smile on my face. “It’s not funny!”

“It kind of is.”

“I swear that I’m gonna cook burned eggs for you and force you to eat them.”

“Burned eggs are like regular ones to me, neither of us know how to make them normal.”

“...true. So, in that case, what are we supposed to do right now?”

“I think we should do some pasta, it isn’t really difficult...if we follow the steps like it’s told.”

“Yeah, I just hope we won’t burn the apartment. I prefer to burn the pasta rather than set a fire.”

“Same thing.”

“Okay, let’s hope we don’t burn anything.”

“Oh, wait. I forgot.”

“What did you forget?” She asked, visibly confused.

“I forgot...that,” I said, pausing as I kissed her cheek which earned a small giggle from y/n. “And...that.” I continued, heading over to where my bag was.

"You didn't have to Spence, really."

"Yes, I had. You have to see how cute that is." I explained, walking back to her. "Look at that, it's adorable, a small pumpkin."

"Okay, it really is." She smiled, taking the small item. "It's from our favourite holiday. I miss buying pumpkins, I haven't done it since I was a kid."

"Yeah, it's been a while for me too. I wish we could do it, but I don't have much of an idea where they could be. We both live in buildings, and I doubt the landlords or the neighbors will appreciate this."

"They definitely won't. I guess we'll do it later, when we're married maybe, or…more simply, when the team will know."

"Oh, yeah...that."

"That, yeah."

"I do think they know by now."

"Probably, it's been five months, and you've been acting like nothing but a guy that's absolutely in love these past weeks."

"What can I say? I couldn't really hide it anymore."

"You could have been more discreet, you were literally surrounded by profilers, they definitely catched up."

"I should have asked you to teach me how to be clumsy. That way I would have broken a leg."

"Hey! I'm not doing it on purpose!"

"It looks like it! You almost broke your leg when you fell off a single step!" 

"I'm gonna push you up the stairs one day if that's what you want." 

"And how are you gonna do without me? You can't even cook."

"You can't either."

"I'll have Rossi teach me. He can basically teach anyone."

"Then why do you still suck? You visited him a lot from what you told me."

"I uh...didn't participate, I just watched."

"Then that explains it." 

"I can cook! I'm gonna show you."

"Okay, I'm watching." 

"Don't make fun of me!" I shouted, taking the pillow off the couch to throw it at her.

I shouldn't have done that, I literally started a war that lasted at least…twenty minutes, then we talked more, ten more minutes, then again, which led us to eat one hour later.

Eventually, we managed not to burn anything at all and ended the afternoon on the couch, talking about whatever came to mind.

"We should do something for the next few days. In case you get called, we should at least do something fun." She proposed, hesitating.

"Like what, I don't have many ideas…"

"Um well…what do we both like to do usually?"

"Let me think...coffee?"

"What about...we go on dates, except it's with coffee too."

"So, coffee dates?"

"Yeah. We could also add something to make it more...fun."

"A kind of...challenge?"

"Mhm."

"I think there’s a new place that opened recently? We could try it out."

"Maybe other ones too. Wait- I got an idea.

"Which is?"

"A mission to find the best cup of coffee in town. We both like coffee, and It’d be nice to discover what the other shops have."

"That could work, totally."

"Okay. Coffee dates and coffee missions it is."

"The title is kind of weird." I admitted

"Do you have anything else to propose?"

"Just dates, I guess."

"It's so basic." She argued.

"But it's easier though."

"Easier than telling you have a girlfriend?" Y/N asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Then if you bring up that, yeah, it's easier than that."

"I knew it."

"Of course you did.”

“That’s because I’m always right.” 

“Always? I’m not so sure about that.”

“Are you insinuating that I’m not smart enough Reid?”

“Maybe.” I teased.

“I’m really going to kill you, I didn’t forget what I said earlier.”

“You wouldn’t dare to.”

“Don’t be so sure about that.” She insisted.

“Okay, I apologize. You’re as smart as I am.”

“I prefer that answer.” Y/N approved, which sent the both of us into a fit of laughter, which seemed totally endless at first. 

It lasted about five minutes before we sort of calmed ourselves to come back to a calm state. We didn’t look much at each other, as we knew it would do nothing but make us laugh again for a duration we didn’t even know.

But, even if that meant that we would laugh for a few minutes, even if that meant that we’d both complain because our stomachs would hurt, it’ll have been worth it, I wouldn’t have regretted it.

These were the moments we both knew the other appreciated to spend, we both took a liking for these, and often tend to forget about everything else. 

It would just be the two of us; we’d forget about work, anxieties, just for a moment.

Work has always been a problem to me, I couldn’t see her as much as I’d like, having to interrupt an afternoon we thought would be calm to go to work, having to stay away more than I thought.

Although, even if that remains an inconvenience, it never made our relationship weaker, it stayed the way it was, from the moment we met each other.

Even back then when we barely knew anything else about each other at the library, it didn’t take us much time to get along as if we were friends for years and not one week.

We’ve always had a strong relationship, it never really changed.

Work would eventually get in the way, and it’ll be okay. We would learn to adapt, and just live with it, and it really worked out to be fine, and not as bad as I thought.

I think that I was afraid at the beginning, when we just started dating. Mostly because I thought she wouldn’t appreciate my schedule, the fact that I would be away for one week, and go back to work only after two days, I thought she’d get tired of it, and realize that it wasn’t the kind of relationship that suited her.

I really turned out to be wrong. Five months later, we’re still together, and sometimes it’s almost as if we’re not five states away from the other.

Let’s hope we’ll get to have -at least- a week, it would be nice. It’s been a while since we had more than three days without the sound of my phone meaning vacation time was over.

Plus, we get to do something we don’t usually do as often as we’d like to. We’ve already gone to coffee shops, but it’s been a month or so since; so I’m really excited about that new mission of ours. 

It’s another thing to add to the list of our numerous and diverses adventures I get to spend with her.

**

Let me know what you thought of this fic here! 

The next and last part is coming on April 2nd/3rd (just so that the tags don’t get clogged)

[filmsmakkari]

Congratulations

Wordcount- 1.7k

Hamilton!Tom Holland x Angelica!Reader

Tom Holland x Princess!Reader

I would recommend listening to the song here!

Full Series Masterlist

Your time in Hasnaa was joyous. You wished you could have stayed there forever, but you most unfortunately had to return to your husband, and your disastrous marriage in London. With him, the days were drab and dull. It felt as if every day dragged on longer than the last, but drag on they did, and before you knew it, five years had passed.

You were sitting at the end of the table what felt like miles away from your husband, when a servant entered with a letter in her hand.

“It’s from Prince Phillip, your grace.” The servant girl curtsied before exiting.

“Thank you,” you said as you opened the letter.

It read:

My Dear Aunt,

Cold is my heart as I reckon with the affects my father’s whims have had on our family name. I’m not sure if word has yet reached you there in London, but I must most regretfully inform you that our dear Duke of Saataun has had a most unfortunate affair with the young Countess Nadia Renoylds. Apparently, it took place when we were visiting grandfather at the Fadar da Hasnaa, a considerable time indeed. He also had the privity and connivance of the count, whom he paid off to not tell mother. Apparently, the entire affair was an elaborate scheme on the Renoylds’ part. Their most intricate plan was for the countess to seduce father into an affair, and then blackmail him. If father did not find himself in a prosperous enough position to put wealth into their pockets, they would tell mother of the affair. Of course, this all took place many years ago, and father did pay the count off. None of this would have come to light if those vultures Anthony Monroe, Christopher Jefferson, and Aaron Blackwell hadn’t accused father of embezzlement. To prove his innocence, father published an essay entitled “The Reynolds Pamphlet”in which he admits the truth of his affair, and how he did not in fact embezzle money, but rather used it to pay off his mistress’s husband. In truth it isn’t much better, but he committed no crimes. He might have mortally wounded his prospects, but his papers are orderly, that is a fact none can deny. I have attached a copy of The Reynolds Pamphlet with this letter so that you may read it yourself. Tis no surprise that my mother is outraged. She has father sleeping in his office, and last night as I was passing her cracked bedroom door, I saw her setting fire to all the hundreds of letters he’s written to her. I know it is much to ask of you, seeing as you are the ruler of a large realm, but if you could journey here to see her, I’m sure it would be much consolation. With our dear Peggy sick in Paris, you are the only of her sisters with the ability to make the journey. Please consider.

Votre neveu le plus adorant et le plus vrai,

Prince Phillip of Saataun

Your heart sank as you read your nephew’s words. You quickly took the “Reynolds Pamphlet” from under his letter and read it.

It Read:

I owe perhaps to my friends an apology for condescending to give a public explanation. A just pride with reluctance stoops to a formal vindication against so despicable a contrivance and is inclined rather to oppose to it the uniform evidence of an upright character.

The charge against me is a connection with one Anthony Reynolds. For purposes of improper speculation, my real crime is an amorous connection with his wife, for a considerable time with his knowing consent, if not originally brought on by a combination between the husband and wife with the design to extort money from me. I had frequent meetings with her, most of them in my own house, the Duchess with our children being absent on a visit to the King.

This confession is not made without a blush. I cannot be the apologist of any vice because the ardour of passion may have made it mine. I can never cease to condemn myself for the pang, which it may inflict in a bosom eminently intitled to all my gratitude, fidelity and love. But that bosom will approve, that even at so great an expence, I should effectually wipe away a more serious stain from a name, which it cherishes with no less elevation than tenderness. The public too will I trust excuse the confession. The necessity of it to my defence against a more heinous charge could alone have extorted from me so painful an indecorum.

The essay went on for several more paragraphs, but you could not bear to read any more. Your heart felt as if it was cracking as you thought of your dear Eliza. Oh, all the pain she must have been in. How could Thomas, your Thomas have done such a thing? How could he have hurt your sister in such a way? The anger must have been clear in your eyes, as your husband suddenly spoke.

“What is it?” his monotone voice asked. He barely even looked up from his newspaper.

“My dear sister, Eliza, and our brother, Thomas seem to have been involved in a scandal. I must return home immediately.”

“Oh, well you do that. I shall remain here.”

Oh, of course, he was. You held back an eye roll as you stood and went to your quarters to begin packing.

You booked passage on a ship that was heading for Saataun the next day and quickly made your way home. Your carriage was awaiting your arrival when you stepped off the docks, and you immediately directed him to Eliza’s palace. When you knocked on the door, to your surprise, it was answered by your nephew, Phillip, now fourteen years old. You hugged him tightly.

“Where is your mother, Phillip?” you asked as you released the boy.

“At the store, I believe. But father’s just upstairs, in his office.”

You thanked the young boy before rushing up the stairs and into Thomas’s office.

His eyes widened at the sight of you. “(Y/N)?”

“I came as soon as I heard,” you said flatly.

“Oh, (Y/N), thank God,” he rose and walked towards you, taking your hands and trying to kiss it “someone who understands what I’m struggling here to do-” he paused as you snatched your hand away from him.

“(Y/N)?”

“Congratulations, Thomas.”

He looked at you confused.

“You have invented a new kind of stupid! A damage you could never undo kind of stupid, an open all the cages in the zoo kind of stupid! Truly, you didn’t think this through, did you?”

You gestured with your hands as you spoke. “Let's review, shall we? You two a rumor a few-what was it, three- people knew and refuted it by sharing an affair of which no one has accused you!” You got close to his face, saying, “Thomas, I begged you to take a break and you refused to.”

Now you were pacing and speaking loudly. “You’re so scared of what your enemies will do to you when in reality you’re the only enemy you ever seem to lose to! Do you know why Jefferson can do as he pleases? He doesn’t dignify schoolyard taunts with a response! So yes, congratulations, Thomas.”

“(Y/N)...”

“You’ve redefined your legacy. No, really! Congratulations,” you said, walking out.

“It was an act of political sacrifice!” he exclaimed.

You stopped in your tracks, looking back at him bewildered. “Sacrifice? Thomas Holland, you know nothing of sacrifice.”

“What does that mean?”

“Thomas, I languished in a loveless marriage in London, I lived only to read your letters. I look at you and think “God, what have we done with our lives, and what did it get us?” It doesn’t wipe all the years or all my tears away, but I’ve returned to Larione, and this time I’m here to stay. Do you know what I’m here to do, Thomas?”

“(Y/N)...” he said, coming close to you and cupping your face.

As much as it pained you to do so, you grabbed his hand, tearing it from your face, and saying, “I’m not here for you.”

Thomas sighed, tears burning in his eyes.

You felt the anger begin to rise again as you spoke, “I know my sister like I know my own mind! You will meet a more gentle, kind, trusting soul. I love my sister more than anything in this life! If it comes to choosing between her happiness and mine, I will choose hers every time! Yelizaveta is the best person in our lives, so never again make the mistake of forgetting that you have been blessed with the best wife! For the rest of your life, every sacrifice you make is for my sister, you be sure to give her the best life!”

You raised your hand and slapped him as hard as humanly possible and turned to leave. You paused in the doorframe, turning back to him. “Putting what we had aside, I’m going to find my sister and I am going to stand by her side. I already know “you could never be satisfied.” God, I hope you’re satisfied.” And with that, you were gone.

Your night was spent whispering comforting words to your younger sister, remarking to her “Oh, my dear Eliza, I fear you have married an Icarus. He has flown too close to the sun.”

You did in fact stay in Larione, just as you had told Thomas you would, choosing to relocate to the Fadar da Zuri. It was frowned upon by the public that you, the Empress of Jimbaari, were staying in a palace outside of your country without a husband or some other guardian, but you didn’t care. Your sister and her happiness were all that mattered to you. You prayed for your sister’s happiness. You also prayed that she’d forgive Thomas. Not, in fact, because of your love for Thomas, but rather as you didn’t want anything weighing on your sister’s gentle soul.

As for your ever most complicated relationship with Thomas, you barely interacted with him, not speaking to him when at their home and not writing to him. Though sometimes, you would catch him staring at you with such deep longing that it made your heart ache. And it pained you so deeply, because you knew you couldn’t have been more in love with him- even after his betrayal. So, pray you did. Prayed for your sister’s inner peace, and your own, prayed for the well being of the children, and prayed begging the lord why in all his goodness, he would cause you the utmost pain by bringing that foolish soldier Thomas Holland into their lives.

[chilling-seavey]

Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit (d.s.) - 13

A/N Time to meet our last character 

Warnings: This story is centered around a murder so there will be graphic descriptions of blood, death/manslaughter, dealing with corpses, possible domestic abuse (physical/verbal), crime/covering up a crime, shock/grief, and other possibly heavy or triggering topics. Please read at your own discretion.

Jonah woke me up early the following morning by a shake of my shoulder. I winced as I lifted myself off the desk and stretched my arms above my head until my spine cracked.

“Sleep okay?” Jonah chuckled lightly as he glanced over my shoulder at the paper I had basically slept on top of.

I dropped my hands back to my lap with a heavy tired sigh, “I guess.”

“Any sleep is better than no sleep.” Jonah said. “We gotta get a move on though.”

I got up from the desk chair and turned off the lamp before starting to gather my things up again. The clock on the bedside table read 7:30am and I tried to ignore the ache in my limbs from exhaustion and my uncomfortable sleeping position as I packed up our few things in preparation to leave again. Jonah opened one of the cans we bought at the grocery store with a knife and stuck it in the hotel room microwave to warm up some sort of makeshift breakfast for us.

As I was packing up my laptop bag and Jonah was tending to our weak excuse of breakfast, there was a knock at the door. Our heads snapped over towards it.

“Housekeeping.”

The microwave beeped steadily three times.

Jonah and I looked at each other and I hurried over to the door to look out the peephole into the hallway.

“Close the bathroom.” Jonah whispered sharply.

I closed the bathroom door as instructed before speaking through the main door to the person on the other side, “We don’t need service, thank you.”

“Your check out is today so I need to come in and clean up.”

“Come back when we leave.”

“I was told to come by now.”

I glanced over my shoulder to Jonah who was standing a few paces back with his arms crossed over his chest and eyes narrowed in confusion and concern. He shrugged and I opened the door to the young man in the hallway.

He gave me a wide smile, standing beside a small housekeeping cart and wearing one of the hotel staff’s uniforms of sky-blue scrubs embroidered with the Riviera logo on the breast pocket and his nametag above it read ‘Corbyn’. The small rectangular shape inside the pocket caught my attention and I narrowed my eyes back up to his face.

“I won’t be long, Mr. Seavey.” he said reassuringly.

The statement of my name sent my heart to my throat, now regretting the fact that I gave my true information over to the lady at the front desk last night. I was now a prime suspect in a murder case and my whereabouts was suddenly incredibly easy to find. Not to mention my bright white Tesla sitting in the parking lot with my identification plates easy to see in the broad daylight. We had to get the hell out of there.

“Thank you, but we’re okay. Give us ten minutes and come back.” I tried to speak as solidly as I could.

“Is your wife here? May I speak with her?”

“My…my wife?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s none of your business.”

“Are you hiding something?” he asked bluntly.

“I just don’t want housekeeping right now.” I retorted.

I tried to close the door but he stopped it with his hand flat against the painted wood.

“Your brother said you left for a road trip…so can I speak with her?”

I reached into his breast pocket of his uniform and pulled out the small recording device before grabbing him by the arm and yanking him inside, slamming the door behind us. I shoved him backwards onto the desk chair and held him by the front of his shirt, glaring right into his light eyes.

“Who sent you?”

“That’s none of your business.” he pushed back on me.

“Are you a cop or a reporter?”

“I plead the 5th.”

“Bullshit.”

“I must say, Mr. Seavey, your panicked reaction to simple questions is quite concerning.”

I took a step back from him and Jonah moved up beside me. Corbyn smirked proudly up at us and started to get up from the chair. I shoved him back down.

“What do you know?”

“I know that you two are some of the most popular people in all of Los Angeles county. I know you have enough money to buy up this entire resort. I know that you’re currently on the run from the police in the possible murder of your wife.”

My breath caught in my throat.

“Where is she?” Corbyn pressed. “I’m not a cop. I’m just curious. You…you can call me a fan of sorts.”

Jonah didn’t even need to see my panicked look before he was pulling the rope tie from the closed curtains across the room and tying Corbyn’s wrists together behind the chair. I unbuckled my belt and passed it over to Jonah too and he locked him to the chair around the middle with the belt.

“Nice. Real classy.” Corbyn scoffed. “Is this how you treat all your guests?”

“Shut up.” I snapped, reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet. I flicked through his cards to find his ID and came across a Press Pass with his photograph and name under Corbyn M Besson. “Fuckin’ paparazzi.” I grumbled as Jonah looked over my shoulder at what I was finding.

“Paparazzi? Ooh, that’s insulting. I like to consider myself more of a journalist.”

“You’re a fucking stalker is what you are. How did you know we were here?” Jonah asked sternly.

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” Corbyn cocked his head to the side slightly as he stared sweetly at us, “So, tell me, how was the honeymoon, Daniel? Was it romantic and blissful? Costa Rica looks beautiful this time of year.”

Jonah and I knew perfectly well from a few years of being bombarded by paparazzi how to avoid questions and although this was much more serious than ‘which artist are you currently working with?’, it was all one in the same. They were sly and Corbyn seemed no different; being able to hide his true malicious intent behind a handsome face and an almost trustworthy voice. He was one of the pros, no doubt.

“Don’t answer him.” Jonah spoke lowly to me.

“I know.” I mumbled.

“He’s trying to get under your skin to get some bullshit to publish.”

“I know.”

“What’s in that box?” Corbyn asked.

Jonah and I looked over at him and them followed his furrowed gaze to the equipment trunk by the wall. The towel was peeking out from under the closed lid and the blood stain on the corner was unmissable. I swallowed thickly.

“Music equipment.” Jonah answered flatly. “We always take work with us.”

“Yeah?” Corbyn peaked an eyebrow at us. “Avalon’s here helping you?”

I clenched my jaw and stuffed his cards back in his wallet with trembling hands.

Corbyn spoke gently as if we were nothing less than old friends catching up, “I met her before. She’s a really nice lady.”

“Honey?”

The front door slammed and I got up quickly from the couch at the sound of her sobbing and rushing down the hallway. I followed after her, right into our bedroom and she shook with tears, stumbling over each breath as her hands raked through her messy blonde hair.

“Ava? Honey, what’s wrong?” I asked softly as I stepped up beside her.

“Th-They cornered me!” she sobbed, accepting my comfort and she curled into my chest, her arms wrapping tightly around my waist.

“Who did?” I pressed gently.

“The paparazzi…some reporter…” she cried, her tears soaking through the shoulder of my t-shirt. “Cornered me outside of work and I-I thought he was going to hurt me he-he-”

“What did he say to you?” I asked as softly as I could as I stroked her hair soothingly while she cried in my arms, her whole body trembling.

“Asked me a whole bunch of questions ab-about you…who you are working with…about our wedding…said he was going to show up. Oh God, Dani, I don’t want paparazzi at our wedding!”

“I know. There won’t let there be any. I’ll make sure of it.” I promised, pressing a kiss to her head.

“He cornered me…pushing his phone in my face and asking all these questions and…and…and I couldn’t get him away and he grabbed me. He grabbed my arm so tight and I couldn’t get away! He knows where we live, Dani! He knows where we live and he said he’s going to get the information out of me one way or another…I’m so scared!”

I leaned back from her to take her face in my hands. Her tear-streaked cheeks and shimmering brown eyes made me furious as to who the hell laid their hands on my fiancé. My anger was easily overpowered with concern and I spoke gently to her as I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs, “I’ll take care of him, honey. Did you get his name?”

“His Press Pass said ‘Besson’.”

I held the Press Pass in my hand, staring at the surname of the man who made my wife fear for her life. I have stated many times that I was not the best husband, dear reader, this is a fact we cannot deny. I am human and I am selfish, and yet, I know the feeling of protective anger when it comes.

“You motherfucker.” I spat, dropping the ID to the top of the dresser in one swift movement and making a lunge for our captee.

Jonah grabbed me quickly before I could throw a punch and yanked me back.

“I know exactly who you are! You scared the fucking hell out of her and you made her scared to even live in our house!” I shouted angrily, Jonah desperately holding me back. “Do you know how many times she woke up from nightmares about you?! About you cornering her in that goddamn alley and threatening her like you did? You are a fucking creep!”

“Daniel.” Jonah spoke sternly from behind me as I thrashed in his arms.

“I was just doing my job. One passionate man to another I figured you might have understood my responsibilities.” Corbyn answered slowly, his face filled with stupid concern.

“If you have a problem with me then you come to me. What nutjob corners a woman in an alley at night? Huh? Threatening her and grabbing her like a psycho!”

“Daniel.” Jonah repeated but his voice was no where near what I was focusing on. Between my fear and my grief and now my anger, seeing red was truly what was happening in my mind. I wanted and almost needed to avenge my wife’s death and this man had guilty written all over him.

“She’s dead because of you!” I screamed.

Corbyn’s eyes went wide and he lifted his head up straighter at my sudden outburst.

“Daniel.” Jonah hissed against my ear, “You better stop talking right now.”

A little smirk tugged at the corner of Corbyn’s mouth, “Wow. The raise I will get for bringing this information in is fucking astronomical.”

I went to shout some more at him but Jonah smacked his hand over my mouth and pulled me backwards and into the ensuite, slamming the door behind us. He shoved me away and gave me a glare that was nothing less than ‘what the fuck’.

“He’s the fucker I told you about. The one who cornered her and scared her out of her mind.” I said through my teeth.

“Okay, but you have to shut the fuck up, Daniel. I’m serious. I get that you’re angry but you just blew our tiny bit of cover. You have to remember that everyone in the whole fucking state right now thinks you killed her and admitting that she’s dead is only going to screw you over.”

I huffed angrily and glanced down at Avalon still resting in the bath of ice.

“He’s a reporter for the paparazzi. He has no remorse and he is an expert at getting a scene out of people like us. He’s going to talk and you are going to be screwed.”

I sat on the side of the tub and held my face in my hands, “I just need more time.”

“I know we do.” Jonah sighed, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck in thought. “We can’t let him go now though; you gave him information that we can’t afford letting out.”

“Goddammit.” I grumbled, rubbing my hands over my face tiredly.

“We could just leave him here. Gag him and leave him tied. It’s not perfect but it will at least give us enough time to make it to the lodge.” Jonah suggested quietly.

I thought it through for a moment before nodding in agreement. It was our only logical option. There was no way I would be willing to take him with us otherwise we may have ended up with two dead bodies in the trunk. One was already far too much.

Corbyn was already tied to the chair so we just had to gag him. If the guy would shut up it would have made it so much easier but his constant pestering questions only made it easier to leave him there.

“You don’t know what you’re doing! I was just doing my job!” Corbyn protested, “I’d do anything for a good story and she was the easiest way to get it! I didn’t mean to scare her but it’s not my fault if she can’t even handle-”

I stuffed one of the cloths from the bathroom in his mouth and Jonah wrapped the silk belt from the hotel robe around his head to finish it off. Corbyn struggled a little but Jonah tied a tight knot around the back of his head to keep the gag in place and we hurried to pack up and get out of there.

Corbyn tried to continue his ranting but it only came out as a bunch of muffled noises. My heartbeat was in my ears. It was so damn loud.

Jonah and I pulled the equipment trunk into the ensuite and carefully lifted Avalon back into it, tucking the towel around her again before closing the lid and latching it up. I tossed my laptop bag over my shoulder and slid the hotel pad of paper into my pocket as we got ready to leave. Corbyn thrashed around slightly on the desk chair, trying to get his hands free of the binds that held him but Jonah and I didn’t give him a second look as we each took one end of the large trunk and carried it out of the room. To tell you the truth, dear reader, after everything I knew about that young man and his conniving ways, I was mostly worried about leaving my favourite belt with him.

The morning was just as hot and sticky as the previous evening when we arrived and perspiration was already forming at my brow when we stepped out of the hotel and into the parking lot. My mind felt as muddled as the desert humidity. I unlocked the car and we lifted the equipment case into the trunk before slamming it shut and getting into the front seats quickly, the denim jacket back in my hands. Jonah offered to take his turn to drive which I was grateful for and I let myself rest back against the window ledge as he pulled quickly out of the hotel parking lot and towards the freeway. I swear I could still hear Corbyn’s muffled screams from the hotel room.

The sun was rising above the mountains in the distance as we drove north-east towards state lines. Once we crossed over into Nevada, I felt like I could actually take a moment to breathe. I wasn’t safe yet, not until I could prove my innocence, but at least the distance gave me time.

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee​ @randomlimelightxxx​ @stuffofseaveyy​ @hopinglimelight​ @tempus-ut-luceant​ @br4nd1s​ @xkelsev​ @hiya-its-amber​ @the-girl-who-cried-wolf​

[ithinkweallsing]

Promise

Remus Lupin x Fem Reader

Warning- mild depiction of violence/ blood 

A little angsty with a super fluffy ending, hurt/comfort 

WC- 3.1K 

A/N- Let me know what you think! Huge thank you to @newa0810 for editing this and Spilled Beans! 

__

He was still gone. He should have been back by now.

What was taking him so long? Why was he not back yet? Oh god, what if he had gotten ambushed by Death Eaters?

Your thoughts raced as you anxiously paced the worn floorboards of your little apartment. Remus had been gone for weeks and you hadn’t heard anything. Of course, you couldn’t expect to hear anything from him, but you were still stressed.

You remembered what he said to you that night at Grimmauld Place when he had left for the mission. He had looked tired, but his face was still handsome and peppered with the pale scars that you kissed each night because you had to love them enough for the both of you when he couldn’t. The situation had seemed eerily ominous as you kissed him goodbye. You closed your eyes and pictured the conversation.

“Come home to me in one-piece, ok love?” You told him desperately as the rest of the group was getting ready to leave.

He looked up from his bag and directly into your eyes. “Of course, dear, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Do you promise?” You asked hesitantly.

“I promise on every chocolate bar in Honeydukes that I will be home in one piece for you darling,” He said with confidence.

You let out a strained laugh. “Well, if we’re swearing on Honeydukes chocolate I feel just fine,” you chuckle, momentarily distracted from the fact that he was about to leave for Merlin knows how long. He gave you a small hopeful smile, glad that he could hear your laugh again, if it really is for the last time.

“Do you have enough healing potions?” You asked worriedly, shuffling through your own handbag. “I might have a few extra that you should take-”

He put his hand on yours to cease your searching. “Yes dear, I have plenty, St. Mungos should be investigating your theft of their stores.”

“They can take the loss I’m sure,” You responded with a passive wave of your hand. You had been working at St. Mungos for the past 3 years and the head healer trusted your judgement.

“I lo- I’ll miss you,” He corrected himself, stopping before he could blurt out the words that he had been waiting for the right moment to say for the past two weeks.

You gave him one last tight hug. “I’ll miss you too,” You said into his shoulder. He gripped you tighter for a second before finally releasing and moving out with the rest of the group. Just before the door shut, he caught your eyes again and winked with a small smile. You gave a weak smile in return. Then, the door was shut and he was gone.

That was almost three weeks ago.

You knew you couldn’t be upset, especially with what was going on in the world right now. This stuff was bound to happen. Both of you were often away, leaving the other to worry and fret before eventually coming home to each other. You felt like an idiot, an anxious and stupid, idiot.

What if he never came back and you had never gotten the chance to say the big word to him?

You had of course known that you loved him; you had known for a while, but you were never sure when you were supposed to say it. Everyone always talks about the magic of hearing the love of your life say ‘I love you’ for the first time, but what if you had missed it now because you were too scared to say it to him before he left?

“What if he doesn’t come back?” You asked the empty space in a small voice.

He had never been gone this long, neither of you had. You had not been given any details about the mission for security reasons, the less people that knew the better, but you did know that it was dangerous. It felt different this time; you were used to sleeping next to him with his arms around you, giving you a warm embrace of security and comfort, or wrapping him in your arms to give him comfort after the full moon. You were not used to going without it, without him for this long. He would disappear for a few days around his time of the month, but this was different, there was no assurance that he was ok or that he was even alive.

You had taken to sleeping on the sofa, not that it mattered because you hardly slept anyways. The bags under your eyes were a token from your multiple restless nights, and the fog that had yet to clear from your mind served as a constant reminder of how much you needed him. A fog that only cleared after a Vitamix potion, taken for the sake of your patients at the hospital.

You wandered around your apartment in one of his sweaters, you didn’t live together but you had a fair amount of stuff in the other’s respective house. You had started wearing his sweaters when he was gone, not just on missions but during the full moon too, months ago, you could snuggle up in one and pretend that it was the same as being near him.

Sirius came to check in on you a few times, looking at you with pity and worry. Today was no exception.

“Why are you at my apartment Sirius?” You asked, opening the door with a frown on your face. You were grumpy to have been pulled away from your worrying, even if it was probably for the best that you took a break from pacing.

“Ugh, ‘apartment’,” He mocked in a phony-American accent as he moved past you and inside.

“Sirius, I moved here three years ago! I still say apartment, and aluminum foil and restroom because that’s how I speak and I’m not going to change. Now, do you need something, or did you just come to bug me again?” You snapped, closing the door behind you, and going towards him in the living room.

“Easy love” -he held his hands up in surrender- “I come in peace. I’m just here to check in on you. Moony would want you to take care of yourself while he’s gone. When was the last time you ate a full meal or slept in a bed?” He asked, giving you a once-over.

You shrugged dejectedly and sat down on the couch, staring at the unlit logs in the fireplace. “It doesn’t really matter does it?” You asked in a hopeless tone, your voice raising with your anxiety as you abruptly stood up. “I feel like I can’t focus not knowing he’s ok - I mean what if something happened to him?”

“Woah calm down doll, it’s no use working yourself up over something you can’t do anything about,” Sirius said, guiding you to sit back down on the couch.  

“Ok,” He continued, “I’m not really supposed to share mission details with anyone, but I mean, look at you.”

“Thanks Sirius,” You responded dryly, collapsing into the couch. Then it registered in your brain what he had said.  He had news about Remus? You sat up straighter.

“Alright out with it Pads, tell me what’s going on!” You exclaimed, turning your body fully towards him on the sofa.

“Apparently the mission is going well and they’re almost ready to come home. The last time we got an update, they had just found Dolohov and were preparing to strike.”

“When did you last get an update?” You asked anxiously.

“About 4 hours ago.”

“Are you serious?” You prodded, looking for more information about Remus.

“Well yes love, of course I’m Sirius, but I am a little offended that you don’t remember, especially after all these years,” He responded chuckling at his stupid pun.

You rolled your eyes. “So, when do you think that he’s coming back?” You asked, a new light shining in your eyes.

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this,” He said with a mock look of hurt on his face and a slight laugh. “I mean you didn’t even remember my name after all this time.”

You weren’t in the mood for jokes. “Sirius, please, this is the love of my life, I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him.”

His face dropped and he sat up straighter, fixing you with a searching look. “You really love him, don’t you?” He asked you, hands clasped together, his arms on his knees as he waited for your response.

“With my everything. He is my everything,” you mumbled, embarrassed, with a flush on your cheeks. You were embarrassed because neither of you had actually said the big word yet and the first person you were admitting it to outside your own stream of consciousness was Sirius Black.

Sirius looked at you with an unrecognizable expression on his face before sighing and saying, “Well doll, I’d say he’s pretty crazy about you too.”

You and Remus were fairly open with your affection and your devotion to each other, but hearing it come from Sirius, who had been basically family to Remus for years, meant a lot to you.

“Tell you what, how about you clean yourself up, and we can go to headquarters to wait for them to come back,” he said, standing up. He checked his watch and added, “Which should be pretty soon.”

You quickly stood and raced to the bathroom. You grimaced at yourself in the mirror before hopping into the shower and scrubbing yourself clean. Afterwards, you left the bathroom feeling refreshed and more at peace than you had in a while.

You quickly crossed the small hallway into your room that was basically yours and Remus’ room with how much he stayed over. After throwing on one of Remus’ sweaters and a pair of jeans, you put your hair up and walked out of the bedroom to find Sirius waiting by the door patiently. You slipped your wand into your back pocket and heaved a sigh.

“Let’s go,” you said.  

The two of you left your apartment and quickly walked into the alley behind your building. Sirius grabbed hold of your hand and apparated the both of you to the front door of Grimmauld Place. Once you landed, you let out a deep exhale and tried not to sway on the steps. Sirius looked at you and let go of your hand in favor of grabbing your arm instead to try and steady you.

“Thanks,” you replied, eyes clenched shut and body doubled over, desperately trying not to vomit all over the sidewalk. You hated apparating.

           Sirius ushered you inside gently and you immediately caught sight of Molly Weasley. She rushed over to you, looking at you up and down worriedly.

“Y/n look at you!” She gasped. “When was the last time you ate a proper meal? We’ve just finished up supper here but let me fix you a plate?” she said quickly, leading you to the table to sit down.

“Thank you, Molly. That would be wonderful,” you said gratefully.

You looked around at the table as Molly wandered off to the kitchen to get your food. Arthur was reading the newspaper, Fred and George were entertaining Ginny with an Extendable Ear, and Harry and Hermione were playing some muggle card game which Ron was watching with interest. Sirius sat down next to you as Molly set down two steaming plates with an aroma that made your mouth water. You both started eating and afterwards you felt much better.

“Thank you for the delicious food Molly,” you said as you pull out your wand to do the dishes.

“Oh, it’s not a problem dear,” she responded with a smile. “It looked like you could use it.”

You sat back down once the dishes were done, and Sirius began chatting with Arthur. You tried your best to pay attention to what the conversation was about, but your mind kept slipping back to the fact that Remus was almost home. Your knee bounced under the table and your eyes kept flicking to the door at any noise, hoping to see him walking through.

“Y/n…Y/n?” Arthur asked, and your eyes quickly moved to focus back on the conversation you were still kind of not really paying attention to.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Arthur, what were you saying?” you asked trying to reengage with him and Sirius.

Sirius just laughed and said, “Arthur, don’t bother asking her now, she’s too anxious for Moony’s return.”

You blushed. “I apologize Arthur. I think I’m just a touch distracted right now.”

Arthur just smiled knowingly and turned back to his conversation with Sirius, leaving you to your own thoughts and leg bouncing.

You were planning on telling Remus that you loved him. Him being gone made you think about how important he was to you and you wanted to tell him as soon as possible. Your thoughts clouded with worry, though. What if he doesn’t say it back? What if he doesn’t feel the same way that you do and it’s a huge mistake?

Maybe you should just wait and continue living the same way as before. That was working, it was working well, so why would you try to change that? you asked yourself, drowning in your own thoughts.

Sirius pulled you out of your reverie. “Calm down Y/n. You look like you’re going to combust or something,” he said with a concerned look on his face.

 You just shook your head and offered a small, grim smile. “Sirius what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” you whispered.

He looked at you and scoffed. “Y/n if you can’t see the way Moony looks at you then you must be blind. I have never seen him look at anyone the way that he looks at you,” he responded.

Well, that made you feel better, but before you could say anything, there was a commotion at the door.

You rushed to the sound and saw what you had been waiting to see for the past three weeks: Remus. Although, this wasn’t exactly how you pictured his homecoming.

He was standing in the doorway, supported by someone on either side of him, his body limp and weak. His hair and clothes were a mess and he looked like he was in desperate need of a hot bath, but still, he was there. He was alive.

Your eyes locked and he gave you a faint, weak smile. Without wasting another second, you rushed over to him, but when you reached out to touch his arm you gasped.

Remus’ arm was almost spliced clean off.

You looked on in horror at his mangled arm as he was rushed to one of the sofas by some of the others. Snapping out of your reverie, you immediately pulled out your wand and made your way to his side as others surrounded the sofa. You started muttering a healing spell and gave a silent sigh of relief as you saw his flesh starting to knit back together and mend. Molly Weasley handed you a bottle of dittany and after Remus’ arm was no longer in danger of falling off, you quickly unstopped the bottle of dittany and dripped it onto his arm, watching as the last traces of the, once horrific, wound disappeared. You looked up from his arm to him staring intently at you, with a soft smile on his face.

You quickly closed the bottle and performed a quick cleaning spell to remove the bloodstains from Remus’ clothes and the sofa.

He looked at you, that soft smile still on his face, and you reached out to gently brush away the hair that had fallen into his face.

“I missed you, y/n,” Remus said, softly.

“I missed you too, so much,” you responded, taking the hand on his non-injured arm into your own, squeezing softly. “How are you feeling Rem, do you want anything for the pain?” You asked, not confident that your healing was sufficient for him to be completely painless even after the reparation.

“No, it feels good as new y/n. Perks of dating a healer, I guess,” he said with a grin.

You rolled your eyes and took a moment to look at him. He looked tired, but he was looking at you with an expression that you couldn’t find words for.

Breaking eye contact, you cleared your throat slightly. “Let’s get you in bed, want to sleep at my place?” you asked, slightly aware of the others in the room.

“Yes, I cannot wait to sleep with you for the next week,” he responded with a smirk.

“Me neither,” you responded, laughing, some of the tension in your body dissipating at his ability to joke around. You stood and helped him up slowly, still worried about his arm, even though he assured you it’s perfectly fine. You both got ready to apparate while Sirius leaned on the wall, watching the two of you together with a slight smirk on his face.

“Glad you’re back safe and sound Moony,” he said. Remus gave him a smile and a nod as you both bade your goodbyes to the rest of the house and quickly apparated to the alley by your apartment.

You made your way into the apartment and dropped your stuff at the door, letting out a tired sigh. Once fully inside, you went to start a hot bath, but Remus stopped you before you could make it to the bathroom and engulfed you into a tight hug. Instinctually, your arms wrapped around his taller frame, holding him to you as you both breathed in each other’s presence. He stepped back and removed himself from your embrace to give you a once-over.

“Y/n are you ok? You look exhausted,” he said, concern lacing his voice.

You looked at him for a minute, just taking in the man before you, the man that you loved with every fiber of your being, and suddenly you couldn’t help yourself.

“I love you!” you blurted out. A hot blush rushed to your cheeks when you realized what you had just said, but you didn’t regret. Not one bit.

He looked at you, eyes widening, then a soft, dopey smile spread across his face.  

“I love you too.”

Your eyes widened at his response, and then you reached on your tiptoes to grab his face and guide it to yours. You kissed, soft, sweet and full of promise.

  Tags- @probably-peeves @snapefiction @newa0810

[domesticblisss]

Näher | PT.06

Walter x Female Reader (Nicknamed ‘Hase’) Mob AU! Rating: Mature (Minors DNI) Word Count: 2186 Warnings: Angst, smut and fluff, the holy trinity. Alcohol mention, annoying dude at a bar. Oral (female receiving), fingering, PiV. Summary: Hase and Walter has to stay away from each other for over a year. A/N: Blame Walter’s appearances on NXT and NXT UK this week. Pt.01 | Pt.02 | Pt.03 | Pt.04 | Pt.05

I haven’t seen Walter in over a year. Shit went down with Bobby Gunns’ gang and he made Axel, Fabian and Alex flee with me to the US, to Florida of all places. It has been the worst 483 days of my life. I haven’t spoken to him since he made me leave, no “goodbyes”, no “I see you laters”, no “I love yous”, only a “You’ve got 30 minutes to pack your stuff. Axel is going to help you and Fabian and Alex will be waiting for you in the car.” It was the most silent and nerve wrecking car ride ever. Alex’s knuckles were whiter than usual from how tight his grip on the steering wheel was, Axel’s legs bounced nonstop, and I am pretty sure Fabian was saying a prayer in italian under his breath. My nerves got the best of me and my incessant questioning started. “What is going on?” Silence “Where are we going?” Silence “Why isn’t Walter with us?” Silence “Is everything ok?” “Will you shut the fuck up?” Fabian yelled from the front seat, earning a smack on the head from Axel, who sat by my side in the back. “There’s no need to talk to her like that, Fabian.” Alex, always the voice of reason, started. “Hase, I’m sorry about peanut head over here and everything that’s going on. Do you remember Jurn?” I nodded. “He turned on us. He works for Gunns and somehow made his way into our business. Walter found out but he was still able attack the office by the docks and we lost a few men. Gunns was planning on going after you to get to Walter.” “Oh.” I couldn’t say anything else and I felt Axel’s hands in mine, squeezing it tightly. A few minutes passed before I was able to open my mouth again. “Is Walter okay?” “Yeah, he’s fine. He has some stuff to solve but he’s fine. Don’t worry about him.” it was Axel’s turn to answer me. “Where are we going?” “Florida.” “Why?” “We’ve got business there too and it’s safer.” I could fell the tiredness coming from Axel’s voice. “Hm, okay. Is Walter going to meet us there?” “I don’t know. At least not right now, he’s going back to Austria for a little while.” “What about Tim?” “You know how loyal Tim is to Walter. He’ll just go wherever Walter goes.” I could only nod. The last 10 minutes of the car ride and the 14+ hour plane trip were made in complete silence. ------ It has been 483 days since I have last seen Walter or even heard his voice. In the beginning, I would bombard the boys with questions daily, asking if I could call him – which the answer was always no – asking if he was ok, asking when he was coming to meet us or how was the businesses. My constant running around to only be met with dismissiveness from his side and vague answers from the boys started to get tiring and I lost my will by the fourth month. The three of them were kind enough to not force me to talk about him anymore and were always finding a way to slip a little info here and there during conversations for me to catch on. Tim came to be with us around the six-month mark and brought with him the copy of The Rolling Stones’ Aftermath vinyl Walter and I would always listen to after a hard day, me either sitting on his lap or us dancing around his library when “Under My Thumb” came on. Inside the vinyl case was a letter handwritten by him, ever the man of few words, the letter was as short as I would imagine a letter written by Walter would be.

“Hase,

I am deeply sorry about how fast everything happened and that I couldn’t even say a proper goodbye.

I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you got hurt because of me and I am sorry for not calling you, but this is for the best as of right now.

Things are getting better around here, and we will see each other again someday.

I hope this record brings you good memories and makes your days a little better like it used to when we had each other.

Love, yours forever,

Walter.”

“Someday”. What the fuck was “someday” supposed to mean?

------

I left the house a couple of weeks after Tim arrived, all their presences and Walter not being there was getting to be unbearable, as they were acting as if I was this fragile object that would break at any given point. So, for the sake of my mental health, I decided to leave the house and rent a place for me in downtown Miami and opened a record store to keep my mind occupied since the boys already had people running their businesses around here, only calling me in when they needed a second opinion.

It wasn’t like I stopped seeing them, at least one of them would go everyday to the store and Fridays were the days where we would get together to drink, eat and talk all night long. Besides that, my days simply consisted of yoga, working out when I felt like, looking out for the store, and going out for drinks at night to the bar on the street corner of the store.

The Bar is owned by Gus and Angela, a couple in their fifties that have known each other since high school. The nicest people I have ever met, they took me under their wings on the first night I went there. They saw how down I was and started talking to me, asking about “what is making a sweet angel like you hurt like this?” and I told them everything. I probably shouldn’t but I am sure Walter isn’t the most dangerous and “issues with the law heavy” person they got to know. Every night since then, they made sure my favourite spot on the counter was free for whenever I arrived, that my favourite drink was on stock and, of course, that I didn’t drink too much, that no assholes got into funny business with me and that I arrived home safe.

Today was supposed to be another one of those nights. It was way busier than usual, but my seat was still free, and my drink was there waiting for me, being super crowded, they couldn’t give me the attention they always did.

I barely sat on the stool and I could feel eyes staring at me from my left side. I turned around to be met with blue blood shot eyes, messy, bleached, and drier than the Sahara Desert blonde hair.

“Hey, peach. What is a sweet thing like you doing here?” the man asked.

“Drinking.”

“Yeah? Me too! I’m Dolph, what can I get you?”

“I’m good. Thanks.”

“C’mon sweetheart,” he got up to stand closer to me, his hands touching my hair as he spoke up again “order something, it’s on me. Let’s have some fun.”

“I’m good, dude. Thanks again.” I told him and as I turned to face my right side, I felt his hand grab my left arm.

“I said, let’s have some fun you little b–“ he was cut off by a too familiar voice.

“I think she said no, weichei.”

“Walter?”

“Geht es dir gut, Hase?” he said as he came to my side and I could only nod.

“Oh, I see. So, this is your type, huh? You little sl-“ Walter cut the Dolph guy off once again, this time by punching his nose. The whole bar stopped, and Angela came to me to know what was going on.

“Is everything ok, dear?”

“Yes, I’m so sorry, Angie. This dude was bothering me but it’s fine now. This is Walter by the way.” I look behind me to see him greeting her with a wave and that stupid childish grin he gets on.

“Oh, now I understand you, darling. Go, just go and leave it to us to take care of this loser.”

Luckily, Walter’s car was parked right out of the bar so the walk to it wasn’t long. I could feel him right behind me, his hand finding its way to the small of my back, only to have me walking a little faster so I can get away of his touch.

The air inside the car felt thick with tension that seemed one sided when Walter slowly typed my address on the navigation system.

“How do you know my address? Wait, that’s a stupid question. Of course you know it. Axel gave it to you, right?”

“Yes.”

The 10-minute ride felt like an hour long. I couldn’t say anything, and Walter knew better than to try and strike a conversation like nothing happened. Both of my legs were bouncing nonstop, and Walter gave in to his default reaction to when I got like this: he put his hand on my knee and squeezed it, knowing that it usually calmed me down.

“Please don’t touch me.”

He was quick to comply.

It didn’t take us too long to get to the apartment and I wordlessly told him to get in.

“This is a nice place.”

“Yeah.”

“Feels like you.”

“God, Walter. Cut the fucking small talk.” I snapped.

“What do you want me to say?”

“What do I want you to say?! I had to fucking flee Germany and leave you behind. I stayed one year and three months with no contact with you whatsoever. One year and three months without hearing your voice, without seeing you, having to beg to one of the guys to give me any sort of information on you and you are asking me what I want you to say? Are you really that out of touch?”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s it? You’re sorry? Fuck! I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” I kept repeating those words while slapping his chest only to be stopped by having him hold my wrists and bring me closer to him.

“Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to be this way.” I didn’t let him continue and kissed him.

His hands immediately left my wrists, one of them grabbing me by the back of my hair and the other going straight to my waist, bringing me even closer to him, as if that was possible.

He backed me up on the kitchen doorway, his hands working quickly to take all the layers of fabric that got in our way and as soon as my pants hit the floor, he got on his knees and started eating me out.

It is like he had a map of my body memorised on his head. He knew exactly where to bite on my thighs, the exact pressure to apply on my clit when he was sucking it and how I liked my nipples to be played with. I broke down when he got two thick fingers inside of me. He got up and held me after I stopped spasming, the high too big after one year getting by with my trusty vibrator. He held me tight, as if, if he let me go, I would disappear.

“Are you ok?”

“Mhm” I nodded and let out a shaky laugh.

“Wanna keep going?”

“Please!”

He guided us to my couch, sitting down and pulling me to his lap.

“Go on, use me as your will.” He offered.

I sank down onto his shaft slowly, getting used to the thickness of it once again.

“You used to be faster at this.” He mocked me.

“I haven’t fucked anyone in a year, give me a break.”

“Don’t you have a vibrator?”

“I do and he’s not as big and thick as you.”

“Good.”

I started riding him slowly, each up and down motion bringing me closer to bottoming him out. I held on to his hand, which he brought to his lips and started kissing each fingertip, murmuring “I love you” after every kiss.

His breathing got uneven as my movements became more erratic, his thrusts got faster, meeting mine halfway. It wasn’t long before we came together.

I got off from his lap and laid down on the couch, panting. He took this as an opportunity to grab us some water in the kitchen, and when he came back, he laid on top of me.

We stayed quiet for a few minutes, only staring at each other. He had the same look of adoration he gave me the first time I ran into him with Axel on the grocery store.

“What?” I broke the silence.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I am truly sorry that everything happened like this. I never meant to stay away from you this long, but you know Bobby was a dangerous guy and I had to take precautions. I promise you this will never happen again and that I will never leave you again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Never again. I’m all yours.”

 ------

Translations

Weichei: Wimp

Geht es dir gut, Hase?: Are you ok, Hase?

→

[snowflake-apocalypse]

“English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.”

“You need to stop.”

It’s been six months since the formation of Global Justice’s new aces, “Team Go-Possible”. Though, the rhyme and reason of it was wrong, Shego was actually enjoying the partnership with her former rivals. Dare she ever admit it out loud. The three grew to have a good dynamic, she thought. Between conversations about world events and the audacity of Club Banana creating a brach-off store, to the double-edged sarcasm they dished out to their adversaries in combat.

Team GP’s missions took them near and far around globe. This time, it was a nuclear power plant in the blustery Netherlands. Some madman claiming the greed of the world has grown to great. That he was the salvation it needed. His answer to said salvation? Implode the richest nuclear power plant in the world to prove his point.

This has got to be the seventh extremist kook we’ve taken on this month.. though the dude’s not wrong..

Kim and Shego are in route to the mountain side factory. Shego landing their sleek jet on an empty field with concentrated ease.“Okie dokie, let’s go get Mr. Doom Gloom before he turns the mountain side into a mushroom cloud-.” Shego powers their craft down, switching various instruments this way and that.

“-Don’t know about you, Kimmie but I’m looking forward to the bocca coffee. No stupid avalanche is going to ruin that.”

Double checking her equipment, Kim spares the woman a glance. “Heh, glad to know where your priorities are, Shego.-” Kim directs her attention to their mission control via comm link.

“-Hey, Wade you got a lock on our position?”

“Always do.” From GJ headquarters, the tech wiz of the team zooms his screen in on their target.

“That is the most creepy, heartwarming thing I’ve heard from you, Load.” Shego quips, donning her green and black cold weather apparel. When she accepted Betty’s offer, the one thing she swore is that she was keeping her colors.

“Uh..thanks? Anyway, I’ve scanned the interior of the facility, the reactor is located in the south side of the building.” Through the wrist-worn Kimmunictor, a holographic layout of the factory appears. Detailing the whereabouts of their target, only one heat signature appears on the layout. The reactor, they assume.

“Wade, this guy is working alone?” Kim quizzical asks, zooming in on the projection.

“From my latest update, yes. The building has been evacuated for safety. No other intel I’ve collected suggests multiple culprits.-“

Wade swipes through the limited file he has on their perp. He had an uneasy feeling about this caper, but couldn’t justify it from a hunch. “-But, please still be careful, you two.”

Shego, after getting one last solid look at the diagram, closes her hand on the blueprint. “Will do, dad. Thanks.”

——

Approaching the bolted door of the factory, Kim still voiced her concerns., “Y’know, I just wished we had more information on this guy.”

Shego directs a small concentration of searing plasma at the deadlock, freeing the door. “Yeah, well I wished they’d appear at GJ’s doorstep. Or just stayed home.”

Cautiously pushing the door open, Shego scans the left side of the interior, while Kim covers the right.

“Okay, Wade. It looks as empty as you said.- Wade? Wade.” Kim, only being met with silence, tries and fails to reach their partner. Somewhere along the trek, the so-called incorruptible signal was lost.

“Fan-freakin’-tastic. Guess the altitude is the weakness.” Rolling her eyes, Shego marches on. “Let’s just shut this joint down before we get any more surprises.” Despite her quiet tone, Shego’s voice echos throughout the vast building.

Creeping through the corridors, the women stay on alert. Passing abandoned offices, break rooms, only Kim’s quiet chatter fills the space. “Hey, about that coffee, you also want to stop at Portugal of the Little Ones?”

“Are you serious, Possible? You want to visit a tiny replica city in Portugal?” Shego raises an eyebrow in Kim’s direction.

“...Yeah.”

If you don’t stop making that damn face...

“..Okay, fine. Portugal.” Shego huffs in faux annoyance. The pair rounded the corner to the vast power center of the facility, the two spot the ticking time bomb.

“Bingo!” Shego exclaimed, running up to the reactor. Which had been armed with specialized munitions.

“This is new.. Newer. What the hell kind of explosive is this?” The younger agent puzzles.

The device, almost cybernetic, jet-black with a single blinking blue light. Upon closer examination, Shego makes out a faintly marked two-pronged arch on the surface. Gaping at the realization, she snaps of her shock.

“No.. No way...”

“What’s up? What is it?”

“This looks like a prototype product of Gemini’s splinter cell scientists. Before he broke off to W.E.E. It’s not on a timer, it’s remote detonation.”

“Gemini? Hold on, then how is some random guy get a his hands on-“

Before Kim could finish her statement, a man’s honeyed voice breaks through the atmosphere.

“Well, you always were the most observant of the team, Shego. Bravo.”

On the grated deck before them, stood a man. Medium build, piercing blue eyes, a mop of brown hair turning grey. All pulled together by a navy trench coat and tactical cargo slacks.

“Sorry, don’t think we’ve met. Unless I’ve taken you hostage or saved you from a flooding city before.” Shego deadpanned, hands resting on her hips.

Leisurely leaning on the rail of the balcony, a shiftiness displayed in his eyes. “Oh no, I didn’t expect you to be familiar with me. But I have been following the folly of Global Justice’s new dream team. I must say, you are quite the force to be reckoned with.”

“And we really don’t want you to find out why.” Kim interjects, conviction lacing her voice.

“-So if you could hand over the remote, shut down the detonation, then maybe we can reach an agreement.”

“Possible. Kim. Of all the people in the bloody world, I thought you would be one to know.. it’s never that simple.” Faster than her reflexes, the man draws a sleek laser-gun from his coat and fires upon the unsuspecting woman.

Center mass.

Direct hit.

“Gah!” With a cry, Kim covers the wound with her hand, bracing herself on her knees.

“Hey!” Shego booms. Hands ablaze, she charges their suspect... no, enemy now.

Kim, biting back the shock and pain, rises to her feet.

Damnit... Sloppy. Get up, Possible.

Kim averts her concentration back to the reactor. Without Wade, she scrambles to find a bypass way of disarming the bomb.

Firing scorching blast after blast, Shego dodges the rounds aimed at her. The room being filled with the leaden smell of burning metal, as the balcony gave way to the force of plasma.

“I swear, that god-forsaken organization is more concerned with the stock market and shiny toys than actual global security-and you! You radioactive madwoman, turn your back on your very profession! The Emerald Rage can’t even decide who’s side she’s on!” Anger and outrage boiling from the man the closer she got.

“Yeah.. y’know your twenties when you’re trying figure shit out... a lot of grey area and robberies in there.” Flipping onto the grate, Shego faces the man with a controlled fury.

“Oh, also I’m on my side and no one else’s. Which, coincidently is the side that doesn’t want a giant crater in the middle of the Netherlands!” Weaving between a few more shots, Shego disarms the man. She restrains him in a firm, plasma-fortified grip. Not enough juice for a second degree burn, but it sure wasn’t comfortable.

“Hello.” The welcome rolling off his tongue like an invitation.

Abruptly Shego is met with a viscous head-butt and a solid tungsten bracelet around her wrist.

“Grrr-! What the hell-!?” Collecting her wits, Shego paws at the metal. Kicking up the intensity of her powers in hopes of liquifying the substance.

Her foe stands back in smug satisfaction, watching her ferocity slowly turn to languid effort. Her flames spasmed, then doused like a candle in the wind.

Shego lightheaded and pale, collapses with heavy bang on the cold metal.

Crouching next fallen woman, he gingerly strokes her raven hair. Conceited grin never leaving his face. “Oh, my my. Did dear Mother Director not tell you about the adverse correlation between tungsten and the Aether comet? I don’t blame her. Must’ve been frightening for her to raise super-powered children, especially if she had no way of controlling them.”

The clamber drawing Kim away from her task, horror at watching the strongest person she knew hit the floor. “Shego!”

“No, no.” Motioning to the button on the detonator remote, he actives the explosives. Sending the entire right side of the structure up in blazing destruction.

Kim instinctively covers her head, in an effort to shield herself from the blast. Evading wooden beams and falling debris, Kim steels and drives on towards her ally.

Producing a small syringe from his coat, filled with a concentrated supply of the fatal alloy. He methodically pushed back the sleeve of Shego’s fleece, carefully injecting the liquid into her bloodstream.

“My father, Jeremiah Asbell had so much passion for his work. So much drive to create a better world. What did he receive for his endeavours? Scorn and betrayal by the very people he supported!-“

Jeremiah Absell.. Absell.. Dr. Absolute. Wait, he had a kid?

“-All to be handed back by some punk children who should’ve been left in a crater.”

As the tungsten courses through her system, melds with her mutated cells, Shego braces the pain gripping her body. She clenches her teeth, fighting for some kind of spark of her dwindling power.

Thanks, Betty. Chalk this up to another ‘I got your back, kid.’ move. Trust sure ran deep there.

With a flicker of ginger hair catching her attention behind a wall, Shego arduously motions her head to face Kim. Olive meets emerald eyes.

After all of the years they spent trading blows, like scorpions in a bottle, after the late night discussions they’d have when neither could sleep... they both knew that look. The look of unwavering determination meeting one of unabated stubbornness. With all of the unknown wild cards revealed, Shego couldn’t afford both of them being killed.

Mustering as much strength as she could, Shego discreetly raises her hand, stopping Kim in her tracks.

Don’t you dare.