#dealing with emotions and grief is hard™

[era-of-the-moon]

Inside the Wand

Full version of this.

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Moon watched her prey from afar, hidden in the shadows, waiting to catch the little blue abomination off guard. The ancient book opened in a flurry of pages, and a grumpy face peeked out, looking around suspiciously. 

She called upon the ancient magic in her wand, twisting the dormant energy and forming a whip made of pure, neon light. She flicked her arm and the whip curled around Glossaryck, trapping her mentor in a glowing prison of magical rope.

She nonchalantly stepped into the room. "Lovely evening, wouldn't you say so, Glossaryck?" She greeted with perfect etiquette, but her eyes betrayed the depths of her anger and desperation. 

Glossaryck scoffed. "Hm, you know, I could think of quite a few reasons not to find this evening 'lovely', and unfortunately it seems you are the cause of all of them."

Moon ignored his insult, grabbed a chair and sat in front of her now-prisoner.

"Listen, Glossaryck. I will make a deal with you. You will answer all of my questions and promise to help me, and in return I will let you go."

Glossaryck looked away, unimpressed by her attempt at negotiation. He started picking at his toes, which she found rather disgusting and disrespectful.

"One would think that as the heiress to an unfathomable power, you could offer me more than just my freedom for such valuable information that only I can provide."

Moon rolled her eyes and, with a quick flick of her wrist, summoned a small tub of pudding. 

Her mentor's eyes were like saucers—it was evident that, in his grief, he hasn't eaten anything in weeks. He then grew uninterested again.

"Bribery. Classic Butterfly. It's still not enough, though. Your negotiation skills are lacking."

Moon felt her eye twitching and her leg unintentionally started bouncing - which was unbecoming of a young lady of her status. She really couldn't control her temper around him—he managed to get on each and every one of her nerves.

"Glossaryck, we both know that if I give you everything now you'll just be stuffing yourself with it and I won't be getting any answers."

Glossaryck, seemingly given up on negotiating farther, relented. "Fine, what do you want?"

Her mood slightly lifted now that he cooperated with her.

"I want you.." she hesitated and, for a moment, the facade of a ruthless queen was broken. "I need you to teach me to dip down." 

His eyes narrowed. "...go on."

"I... I admit defeat, okay? I can't do it by myself. I've spent months giving it my all, but I just can't. I need your help."

She stood up and started pacing, caught up in her rant—months of pent up anger.

" –And you! You refused to help me for so long! You've been basically dormant for an entire year! I understand that you miss my mum, I miss her too, but I really need you!" 

She turned and faced him, "Haven't I suffered enough? Haven't I proven my incompetence to you, and to all of Mewni?!"

She slumped down on the chair and covered her face with her hands, defeated. "I can't do everything by myself."

At the sight of his young student's agonized state, Glossaryck allowed his eyes to soften. 

"It can be hard to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulder, all by yourself," he spoke as if the words hurt him, and Moon could sense true understanding in his voice, and felt some of her tension has gone—the year of distrust and unease between them began to melt away.

"Of course I will help you, my queen." He said softly, and they shared a heartfelt glance, full of understanding. Moon knew that she finally got her mentor back.

"Now, let us discuss the ins and outs of your problem-" Glossaryck started as he freed himself effortlessly from the confines of her magic, which then dissolved.

"Wait, you could've escaped this whole time?" Moon sputtered. "Glossaryck!"

Glossaryck floated upwards and ignored her.

"Now, The first step in solving a problem is to recognize its existence - and tonight you also achieved the magnificent and agonizing step of admitting it to an outside source—for which I applaud you."

She stared at him in disbelief, eyes wide. "...what."

"Here lies our problem," he continued, "you couldn't dip down because you refused to confront your emotions and admit your flaws."

Moon frowned. "What do my emotions have to do with anything? Such trivial things shouldn't be of importance."

Glossaryck eyed her. "My queen, your emotions should always matter. Especially when it comes to magic. Dip downs are triggered by strong emotions, and you've been refusing yourself those natural and healthy feelings for months—which in turn blocked the connection with your innate magic."

His leaned closer to her, sorrowful. 

"You're only Mewman, Moon. It's okay to have feelings, even if you are the queen."

Her stomach twisted. She looked away. "Ugh. How do you suggest we deal with this problem, then?" 

"Well, normally you'd console a therapist and go through a long process of healing and reconnecting with your emotions. But we don't have time for this. As a fresh queen, you are under constant threat, even with your new accords. We must go deep, straight to the bottom of the hot melted soup that is your mind." 

She stared at him. "And how are we going to do that?" 

"We must go inside... your wand." 

"...what? How is that gonna help?" 

"The wand is an extension of your memories. And before you dip down, it is the link between you and magic. You must confront yourself in the most intense way possible if dipping down is what you desire." 

"That sounds... absolutely terrifying."

"Oh, yes, it's going to be very traumatic. Anyway, let's go!" He clapped his hands twice, and the world around her faded.

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"Now, it is very important that you do not leave my side - this place is very dangerous.  Do you understand?"

Moon nodded, distracted, as she glanced around her. She could recognize the place from both nightmares and reality. Her own reflection greeted her from the many crystalline surfaces that sprouted from the ground. The cold air sent a shiver down her spine.

The Crystal Dimension. 

Well, but not exactly the Crystal Dimension. It felt distorted, almost foreboding. 

"-Moon, are you listening?"

She shook from her thoughts. 

"Yes, yes!"

"Good, now lets go." 

"Wait, where are we going?"

"On our first stop here we're going to visit someone very important. Hopefully seeing her will make you reconsider many things."

Moon narrowed her eyes at the thinly veiled insult. "Whatever do you mean, dear mentor?"

Glossaryck opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by an excited call, and Moon froze in her place. An icy sensation was spreading up her arms, as if she was being crystallized herself and added to Rhombulous's prized collection. 

She looked to the owner of the voice, who was seated next to a crystalline table, sipping tea and looking rather pleased with herself. On the table were scattered countless forms of sweets and pastries, from snookers to creamed corn. She saw Glossaryck's mouth water, and she might have allowed herself to indulge in a sweet treat, if it wasn't for the painfully-familiar woman that greeted her from the other side of the table.

"Oh, Moon darling! It has been quite some time since we last met, hasn't it? Why don't you join me?" Eclipsa smiled gently. Moon eyed her warily, not trusting that smile one bit. She glanced at Glossaryck, who to her dismay was already making his way towards the former queen.

"Glossaryck, wait-!" 

"Come on, Moon! Let's enjoy this lovely tea party!" Glossaryck said, ignoring her concern. 

"Ugh." She reluctantly followed and sat across Eclipsa. 

"So, I wanna hear all about how you've been since we've met. How did your boy problem turn out?" 

"Ah, but I want to know all the details! Why you like each one of them, how they make you feel... you know, the juicy bits!" Eclipsa nibbled on a snookers bar as she rambled.

"...Boy problem?" No, no way she was discussing that. Eclipsa looked at her expectedly. Moon swallowed in embarrassment, and continued. "...Oh. Well I've been kinda avoiding it. Hopefully it will solve itself after my mourning period is over." 

Moon stared at her, then her gaze shifted to Glossaryck, silently begging him for help.

He just motioned for her to continue talking. Not very encouraging. 

"Uhm, I guess I really like River? He makes me laugh, and his optimistic mind is not something one may come across often.. my court doesn't seem to approve of our relationship though. They all pressure me to pursue Count Mildrew." While talking her hands found a crystalline tea cup near her and held it, desperate to distract herself from the conversation. Talking about feelings just wasn't in her element. 

This is for dipping down. This is for dipping down. Moon took a deep breath.

She stared into the dark substance in the cup, her gloomy reflection staring back from its depth.

As she watched, her reflection changed - dark veins spread from her arms to her chest and head, her skin grew darker and her eyes were blazing with light. She gasped, startled, and nearly let go of the cup. When she blinked, the image reverted back, as if it was never there to begin with. Moon set the cup back on the table, deeply disturbed. 

But what is in my element? 

Eclipsa was talking to her, she realized. She tried to focus on her words.

"And you don't like him, do you? Oh, to be young and in love and to be married off to some puffy swine who sees you as nothing but your title, doesn't respect you or your privacy. But don't worry too much about that, darling! You can always elope with your sweetheart and forget the world around you…" Eclipsa trailed off, lost in a daydream, the half-eaten chocolate forgotten. 

Moon was mortified from Eclipsa's implications. "What? I can't just—just abandon my kingdom!" 

"Of course you can, darling, I did it! Besides, true love is worth it." Eclipsa sighed dreamily as she poured herself of the unrecognizable dark substance from a crystalline teapot. 

Moon felt anger rising in her like a wave. "How can you say that? My mother died for this kingdom, I can't just abdicate the throne and leave it all behind! I'm… not like you." 

"Speaking of your mother, how did my spell work out for you? Let me see your hands." Eclipsa grabbed Moon's left hand before she could even mutter her refusal, and slipped off the confines of her glove. 

"Ah, now would you look at that! You still have some room for improvement, but we're truly alike now!" She gushed as she examined Moon's dark scars.

The water rose higher. "What? No!"

Eclipsa held Moon's hand tight, and seemed genuinely happy, possibly for having found solidarity with Moon sharing the marks of a killer on her arms. Moon trembled, nauseous, and wanted desperately to escape from the woman holding her hand.

She is only a reflection of your memories, part of her insisted. She is only a manifestation of Moon’s warped memory of a dark time and a combination of her nightmares. 

Was this the same woman she had met a year ago, the one who had offered her sympathy and solidarity? It appears that Moon misjudged her nature. 

Perhaps she is as bad as the High Commission claimed.

But she held the wand once, too, the other part argued. Eclipsa's essence is part of the wand, so there is truth in her appearance. The former queen's grip on her hand tightened, and Moon nearly shrieked.

"See? You're exactly like me!" Moon couldn't break free from the her grasp. 

The waves crashed upon the shore. "No! I'm nothing like you!" In her stress and desperation Moon found strength and pulled hard enough to escape Eclipsa's hold. She grabbed Glossaryck from his pastries and started running away from the chamber, away from the former queen. 

The young queen pushed the door open, prepared for a fight. 

After running blindly for what felt like hours in the macabre, barren landscapes of the Crystal Dimension, Moon came to a halt in front of a large door. Engraved on the wood were familiar symbols, and Moon felt she was being pulled into the room, that something waited for her—something she needed to see. Something she dreaded.

"And so, we've arrived.” Glossaryck announced in a rather passive manner from his place on the top of her head. Apparently, her wise, old mentor decided it was prime time to nest in her hair. Once again, Moon recognized the room—though it's been ages since the last time she's been there.

“The Tapestry Room?” Moon asked Glossaryck, who left her hair and stared gloomily at one of the walls.

“Why did we come all this way for-” she stopped in her tracks as she realized what caught his attention. Comet's tapestry. 

Moon took in a shaky breath. 

"Oh, mother. I... I miss you so much." She let her hand rest on the fabric. "If only you were somehow here again..." she lowered her head, banishing the thought. She couldn't afford to start crying now, not after everything they've been through to get here. 

"My queen," Glossaryck bowed before her. Moon looked past him, at a new tapestry. Her own.

She stalked toward it, amazed at the sheer size and drama depicted in the fabric.

"But... this isn't how it happened…" Moon mumbled. Her hands were aching—as if they remembered, too, how they were scarred. 

An oval of stone rose from the floor in a cloud  of smoke. Engraved on its surface were the words that arbitrated how she had gone down in history, her first courageous act as a Mewnian queen.

“The immortal monster will long be haunted, by the darkest spell of Moon the… Undaunted?”

Undaunted? 

She clenched her fists, her eyes locked on the tapestry.

...Me?

When she spoke, her voice was slathered with anger.

“I still don't understand. How can that be my title, Glossaryck?" Moon demanded. "How can I be dubbed undaunted and yet be plagued constantly with fears and doubts?” 

Glossaryck wasn't the one who answered.

“That's because all through-out history Mewmanity has abused the truth. You are so caught up in propaganda and lies that even your magic toes the line. You are not undaunted, Moon Butterfly. You're a coward."

Moon turned slowly, recognizing the voice that haunted her nightmares. Behind her stood the one who destroyed her dreams, her life. The one who left her without a mother.

“...Toffee.” she spat.

He stepped into the light, clad in full battle regalia, just as she remembered - and apparently, just as depicted in her tapestry - and just as arrogantly lacking armor. Those sickening skulls with painted cheek emblems were still part of his horrifying attire, the one with the diamonds returning her a blank stare, silently threatening, you're next. He was armed with a crescent-shaped blade, the sinister metal glistening in the dull light.

If he was not a manifestation of her memories, Moon would have thought he considered her a serious threat this time around.

"Moon the Coward, perhaps. Moon the Liar, quite fitting. Or maybe…" He then smiled in cruel mockery, fangs flashing. 

"...Moon the Orphan."

She glared at him, but if looks could kill, his own title would no longer be that of 'Immortal'. 

“You are nothing more than a frightened little princess, with a desperate hold on a blood-stained throne."

He drew out his khopesh and started stroking its curved blade haphazardly, not at all concerned by the sharp edge.

"Have you ever stopped to consider that your mother deserved her fate, little Butterfly? I watched the life drain from the queen’s eyes as I drove my knife into her heart, knowing that justice was finally served.”

“Shut up. Shut up!” she felt her scars burning.

“Do you honestly believe that you have power over Septarsis? Your little show of strength with your little spell won't last long. Your power isn’t even your own, but a queen’s who you condemned to a fate worse than death. And you couldn’t even kill me."

He pointed his blade towards her, the sharp edges glistening dangerously.

"You can’t control your emotions, you can’t rule your kingdom. The Butterfly lineage ends with you.” 

Toffee stumbled back, his head already starting to regenerate.

“That.. Is.. Enough!” She shouted in defiance, the diamonds on her face igniting with light. Hands flaring blue with her searing magic, she blasted the Lizard’s head. It toppled to the floor, a smoking pile of bone and melted flesh.  

"I will not tolerate such words from the likes of you! These words haunted my mind ever since I became queen. But those days are over! No longer will i tolerate such words, not in the voice of my mother’s killer!”

Toffee, his head fully formed, tightened his hold on his blade. 

Moon removed her remaining glove and threw it behind her. The scars reached past her elbows, dark veins thriving on her rage. There was no longer place for fear or shame in her heart. Not anymore.

“I am queen Moon the Undaunted, and in the name of my mother, I swear to you that you will pay!” a sword made of sharp-neon light manifested in her hands to her voiceless command. Armed at last, the young queen attacked the monster.

She charged at him, blades clashing. Moon used the amplitude of her strike to twist around him and skilfully sink her sword into his lower back, cold light piercing flesh. To her dismay, moments after pulling the sword out, his skin looked as if never wounded in the first place. 

I need a strategy, she thought in distress as she dodged his khopesh. Perhaps I could tire his regeneration by continually wounding him? Has anyone ever managed to kill a Septarian without dark magic? 

While she contemplated his mortality Toffee turned around and thrusted his blade at her neck, which she barely avoided. In a graceful movement he thrusted again. She blocked him, metal meeting light. With another quick thrust from the opposite direction he used his speed and weight to hook the edge of his blade to her sword. He pushed on it, forcing her hand to release the sword, which immediately vanished into mist.

Guess i’ll have to be the first. 

Unarmed, Moon leaped, twisting her body mid-air, and kicked the Septarian's face, which rewarded her with the satisfying sight of his blood. In retaliation he grabbed her other leg and started spinning her around like a bat, preparing to launch her into a wall. 

Sword met Khopesh in a metallic klanck. Strike, parry, feint, strike, counter attack. Again and again.

Holding out her arm, she screamed "Meteoric Blueberries!" and explosive fruits shot out at him. She was dropped to the floor as Toffee lost his hold on her and was sent backwards from the force of the blast. He was immediately back up, not breaking a sweat. Moon cursed as he sped up towards her, barely standing up and summoning her sword once more. 

She was more rusty than she'd like to admit. She needed to recede and attack from afar, before he could find an opening in her defence.

She fell to a fake stab and his tail slammed her into a wall, the impact so powerful it created a crater. She barely managed to get up as he stalked towards her with a mocking sneer on his face.

Using the wall for amplitude, she leaped, hands igniting, shouted "Azure Inferno!" and blusted him into what should have been a fiery oblivion. Instead, when she landed and the fire settled she found him... not dead. And angry. Furious.

"I've had enough of your games," he spat, and in a fit of incredible speed, he leaped at her and sank his blade into her back.

It bit deep. She screamed.

He tore it out and she fell to the floor, her numb mind instinctively summoning a shield. Toffee was swinging his blade at the force shield again and again, in attempt to weaken it and finish what he started.

You will not. 

That's it, she thought, blood oozing from her wound and covering her hair, bright blue turned a deep crimson. I am going to die here, in my memories, defeated by my own mind.

She gasped, more in surprise than pain. The familiar voice echoed around her.

Your power is incredible, and only growing stronger by the day.

My sweet Moon. You will not die here today.  

Mother…

Her shield was starting to crack.

My love. A butterfly is incapable of flight until the struggle to free herself from her cocoon has given her wings the strength to fly. Moonlight! Spread your wings and soar!

Toffee destroyed her shield and she screamed. He stabbed her heart with his khopesh, and suddenly, everything was clear.

Instead of the agonizing pain she expected, she found six arms blocking his blade, inches from her chest. 

A gust of wind sent him stumbling backwards, as a set of wings carried her up into the air, and the Lizard watched, flabbergasted. 

She held out her arms and whispered two words, the pair once written long ago, in a decaying book holding centuries worth of history and knowledge. Words written when she first got hold of that book, with the warm, guiding hand of her mother. 

Powerful light beams shot out of her hands, and after the dust settled, Toffee was no more.

Lunar Flare. 

Moon landed ungracefully, exhausted, wings and additional arms retreating. She collapsed, but instead of meeting the harsh ground, she found herself enveloped in a warm embrace. Her eyes opened just a creek.

"...mummy?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

"I'm right here, Moon." 

Moon fought against her fatigue and sat up, hugging her mother back. She gasped in pain. The mother queen smiled at her. "Let's fix you up," Comet held her hand over her daughter's wound. She raised her hand, and the wound closed. 

"How did you do that?" Moon mumbled in awe.

 "We're in the mind. You can do whatever you can imagine in here." Comet smiled, "Also, magic," she added matter-of-factly. 

"But we have more urgent matters to discuss, before you have to leave." Comet caressed Moon's cheek. 

"Leave? But‐but I want to stay here with you! Ever since you… died, I felt like I wasn't actually alive! I've been living in a nightmare, sleepwalking. I can't do this without you!"

"oh, Moonlight." Her mother smiled sadly. "I'm afraid you must. Staying in here for too long is dangerous." The late queen held her daughter's gaze. "But remember this; I love you. When you're drowning in despair, remember my words, and turn them into strength. I love you, my sweet Moon. Don't you ever forget that." 

They embraced each other, in what was probably the longest hug Moon had ever experienced. 

"Glossaryck," Comet whispered, and when Moon blinked, she found herself back in her room, hugging herself.

With tears in her eyes, she whispered "Baloo-balee, baloo-balow. I let you go, I let you go."

When Moon opened her eyes, the world seemed just a little brighter.

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 Silly bonus!

"Glossy.." 

"yes, my queen?" 

"I declare this.. misadventure.. only be allowed to embark on by a princess who's at least 18 years of age."

Glossaryck hummed. “That’s fair,” he acquiesced, like he wasn’t going to ignore that exact declaration many years down the line.

[selkra-souza]

The Moodsters Rabbit Hole

So I was bored one day and in my vain attempt to search the internet to find a knock off Inside Out movie to ironically enjoy, I find out that one does not exist. Vídeo Brinquedo, the studio behind the critically memed Ratatoing, has truly forsaken me, and alas, I can only dream. Instead of finding a rip off Inside Out movie, I ended up finding something that accused Inside Out of ripping off it, I'm talking suing. Turned out to be just as interesting.

The Moodsters is a multimedia edutainment brand and children's foundation centered around a cast of six monstrous critter "feelings detectives" called Moodsters. There's Coz, the yellow Moodster representing happiness, Snorf the blue Moodster representing sadness, Razzy representing anger, Quiggly representing fear, Lolly who represents love and Tully representing ... being calm I think? The Moodsters is an IP created by Denise Daniels and owned by JellyJam Entertainment (formally known as the Moodsters Company) who claim on their website (themoodsterschildrensfoundation.org, formally themoodsters.com) that they're "providing accessible science-based content on emotions for children, their parents, and teachers for more than 35 years". That science is based in collaboration with Marc Brackett PhD and Robin Stern PhD, to develop the RULER™ model for dealing with emotions. Besides their mission statement and credentials, their site currently has downloadable workbooks for kids to print and journal their thoughts and feelings on, along with guide booklets for their caretakers. Their children's foundation initiatives includes an "International Partnership for Children Displaced by War" and "Grief Relief with the Moodsters".

They've got a twitter account featuring one (1) post from 2016.

Let's dig deeper though. Hopping onto the Wayback Machine and searching for "Moodsters" will show you that they've had an online presence since 2008. Since then, the brand has gone through a few changes, and they've released a few toys and published a few books.

I first want to go over the plushies specifically because look at them.

They're adorable. I want to firmly grasp them in my hand. These goobers were sold in retail in the mid 2010s and nowadays are pretty rare in the second hand market. They look soft and I appreciate everything from their embroidered features to Snorf's lopsided face. From looking at them, I like the quality. My only complaint is that their little detective capes lack edge stitches, which would make them more prone to tears, and I'm not convinced they have an accessible way to replace their batteries (though I could be wrong). Overall as a plushie lover though, I want them in my home so I can invite them to tea parties and have them sit on my bed.

Their website in 2015 teased a mobile app called, The Moodsters: Learn About Feelings, which - as far as I could search - does not exist. This page lists features such as an interactive story book, a Mood Meter that "gives children a basic vocabulary of feelings and helps them express themselves" by using a thermometer-shaped mood meter to take one's "feelings 'temperature'", a Moodster Mirror that "helps them make the connection between feelings on the inside and facial expressions on the outside" with demonstrations of 25 different emotions, and a Feelings Notebook that's an art program. The development of this app is no longer mentioned on the site currently, so it's probably a scrapped project.

At some point there was a Moodster themed memory match browser game and coloring pages (hard to tell if they were browser coloring games or printables).

Some of the features from the what would've been the app actually made it to market as toys. These toys were colorful little detective supplies. One for (almost) each Moodster. The top image of this very long post actually features each Moodster with their chosen detective tool on-hand. Coz wields a Moodster Mirror, Razzy carries a Moodster Meter, Quiggly has an emotional support Feelings Flashlight and Lolly writes in a Feelings Notebook, all (at some point) available at your (once) local Toys R Us. Whatever Snorf is carrying hasn't made it to market it seems, but it's apparently a First Aids Kit for Feelings (mentioned here). I can't find what Tully's item is supposed to be. Perhaps it's emotional identification cards, or positive affirmations? Who knows. My favorite out of these has got to be the notebook, mainly because I'm a sucker for cute stationary. I'd fold and decorate a little cardboard box just to house those crayons just for keepers sake.

And have I even mentioned the yoga mats?

Almost every plushie and detective tool toy appears to come with a picture book. I can't comment on most of the books since I can't buy any that still happen to be available as of now, but luckily there is a read along video I found shown below of one of them. It prominently features a more recent addition to the Moodsters lore, the human children.

These side characters where featured on the site as recent as October 2023 (I neglected to take a snapshot, so here's another from June), but are nowhere to be seen on the website now besides the older downloadable worksheets. There's a chance they've since been retired.

It's exactly as boring as I feared that it would be. Obviously, I'm far from being in the target demographic for this anymore as an adult, nor am I any expert of child psychology beyond one elective course I took in university, but the one credibility that I do have is that I remember my personal tastes from when I was a kid, so I can comment on this from that perspective. I will say if I was handed this as a little kid, I would've liked the little monster dudes, but my attention would've shifted away from this pretty quickly and easily, because the little monster dudes aren’t really doing much. I was one of those kids that was really drawn to creature characters way more than I ever was to human characters (and to be perfectly honest, I still am as an adult, but that's besides the point I'm about to make). The plot of the book is perfectly serviceable with a good message about altruism, so that's not the problem. My grievance is with the fact that the human boy Zach takes center stage as the main character, when one would think that the main characters would be the Moodsters. They kind of take a back seat working on the sidelines for the most part here, and don't directly interact with Zach that much. Would've been hard for kid-me to latch onto this when the cool critter characters don't have as much of an active role as they could have. Not every kid is going to be as drawn to critter characters as I was (and am), but if the critter characters are going to be the face of your preschool IP, they should be presented front and center as much as they can be. Children's picture books are a media format that isn't particularly long nor complex, so their biggest strengths are in the characters and the art. If it were open to changes, I'd make a few: I'd have the Moodsters be just a bit more proactive, such as the suggestion to buy Sam a new bike coming from Coz or maybe Lolly instead of his sister Zoey, have them discover the "feelings emergency" while they're hanging outside with Zach and Sam instead of by spying on them with their cool and fancy desk setup, maybe have a one or two page mini side plot where Razzy's anger at the truck driver is addressed and resolved with breathing exercises or something, and change the art style to 2D illustrations to allow more dynamic poses and expressions since the 3D models and environments used here are pretty okay but nothing that stands out too much (or just instead use more expressive 3D models). No major changes that would fundamentally change the book, just enough to give the Moodsters more spotlight and expressions. Overall, as is, it's an okay children's book, just nothing that really stands out much as unique.

Back in the 2000s, there was an animated pilot for the Moodsters (with art and animation direction by Drew Bloom) featuring different designs of them and an additional cat girl not present in the current iteration named Moodini voiced by Grace Garland. The earliest legible Wayback Machine snapshot for the Moodsters (May 16, 2008) lists their names as Zazz, Rizzi, Scootz, Snorf and Oola". Now, I unfortunately can't find the full pilot, only the intro, which is a massive bummer because it's the most interesting piece of Moodsters media I've encountered. Apparently, according to a few articles and court documents (we'll get to the lawsuit later I promise) it was titled "The Amoodsment Mixup", and said to be officially available in its entirety on Youtube ... only it's not there. It must've gotten unlisted or removed by the company owner, which is really disappointing since it looks like a fun watch. It's gone probably because it's an outdated interpretation of the Moodsters, which makes sense for the company to remove, but it's disheartening that I can't find it archived anywhere on the internet.

To comment on the intro that we can watch: I'm really digging these older designs! They've got that Muppet look to them with the high eye placement but with smaller mouths, and they've got more varied facial structures and come in different heights, along with overall looking more monstrous. The literal emotional roller coaster is a cute touch too! Honestly I wished they kept these looks, they're peak. I can't find an officially stated reason for the design overhaul and reboot of the IP; my only guess as to why was in order to incorporate human children for the Moodsters to interact with, so that the brand would be more relatable for kids and more easily applicable to them as an emotional analysis tool. There's merit to that decision I'm sure, but I personally prefer this older version because the Moodsters here look more critter-ly and kind of seem to just hang out in the woods doing their own thing, instead of having more "marketable" designs and hanging out directly educating human children. I was a kid in the 2000s, if this animation pitch made it to air on PBS, I absolutely would've tuned in to see these goobers. I likely would have enjoyed it as much as Dragon Tails, Cyberchase and Arthur, as long as the education came second to characters and story (as opposed to more overtly educational shows like Super Why). Honestly, I'm really bummed this pilot wasn't picked up for a full show, or heck, I can't even find the full pilot anywhere :(

Speaking of old iterations, I really want to show off these old renders of the Moodster headquarters I found digging through Wayback Machine snapshots from (June 29, 2014). It's the Emote Control Headquarters, which was seen in one page of the book in the read along video linked above, but with more detail in the background surrounding the central desks and not in Zach’s room. It seems these renders were to be how their headquarters looked before the human characters were added to the lore. And lemme tell you I adore the amount of detail put into these! I've mentioned the fancy desk setups from the book, and they're shown here again. It's got to be my favorite design aspect for the Moodsters, because each one has their own personalized setup that's color coded and decked out in decor. Coz has some sports equipment at his desk, Lolly's got art supplies, Quigly's got a telescope, and so on. It's a really good way to visually show off their personalities, since they admittedly don't have that much personality otherwise. My hot take is that it way more creative than the console in Inside Out because of its attention to detail. These colorful set pieces are peak kids show aesthetic appeal to me, especially the third image with the ambient lighting. This holdover is something I'm glad made it to more recent Moodster products like the book mentioned above, even if it doesn't make that much sense for them to have such elaborate setups to monitor on the kid they live in the same house with, but it sure as heck at least looks cool.

Remember when I said that this was something that accused Inside Out of ripping it off? Well we’re finally getting to that. I have no formal education on law keep in mind, so here's my understanding on the situation: in Daniels v. Walt Disney, The Moodster Company filed suit against Disney for breaching an "implied-in-fact contract". The gist of the matter is that the Moodster Company had pitched their IP to several companies, the relevant one here being Disney, during the 2000s (likely the animated pilot mentioned earlier was what was pitched), and accused Disney of using the ideas they pitched to produce the film Inside Out, and failing to compensate The Moodster Company for it. It was an accusation of copyright infringement. Disney filed to have this case dismissed, claiming The Moodster Company "failed to meet the legal standard for copyright in a character", basically that the Inside Out emotion characters are not rip offs of the Moodster characters. Ultimately the court granted Disneys' dismissal, because The Moodsters are "lightly sketched" and "are not protectable by copyright". This was determined by the "Towle test" (based on Mark Towle v. DC Comics), which has three criteria for making a character design eligible for copyright protection:

" (1) has “‘physical as well as conceptual qualities,’” (2) is “‘sufficiently delineated to be recognizable as the same character whenever it appears’ and ‘display[s] consistent, identifiable character traits and attributes,’” and (3) is “especially distinctive’ and ‘contain[s] some unique elements of expression.’” " ~ McDermott Will & Emery

It was determined that The Moodsters met criteria (1) but not the later two, mainly because of the several redesigns and name changes the Moodster characters have gotten over the years, ultimately making them inconsistent and indistinctive. The Moodster characters also didn't pass the “Story Being Told test”, because in what little media they have been in, they don't have a proactive enough role nor go through any character arcs nor at least have any unique personality quirks that would make them distinguished characters, instead their personalities are summed up with a short description in their pitchbook and otherwise only just kind of exist. I'd hate to side with the massive corporation for pretty much any reason, but it's a stretch for The Moodster Company to have claimed that Disney ripped them off with inside Out. If the Moodsters had more consistent designs and personalities that Disney-Pixar copied in the Inside Out emotions, there would've have been a case, but that case isn't here. However, I don't think it was completely unreasonable for The Moodster Company to take the legal action that they did, even if they didn't really have much of a legal leg to stand on, because the creator of the company, Denise Daniels had directly pitched the Moodsters to Disney and a contract was involved. I can imagine pitching your idea about personified emotions to a huge company like Disney only for them to come out with their own personified emotions movie a few years later to feel like a contractual stab to the back. One last tidbit mentioned in the court documents though, the most interesting claim Daniels makes is that she discussed the Moodsters with Inside out director Pete Doctor, though the context for when and why this discussion took place isn't known. If that's true, it's very possible that Inside Out took inspiration from the Moodsters, as in, the general idea of personified emotions. The movie is also known to be inspired by Doctor's own daughter, so if anything, this is a case of taking inspiration at most, not copyright infringement. It just goes to show that even though the Moodsters is, first-and-foremost, an emotional educational tool, it's still worth the effort to make your educational tool have an iconic narrative with distinct characters at the very least. It's also interesting to learn that the history of the Moodsters is more intertwined with Inside Out than I initially guessed. If this law suit has taught me anything, it's that the more you redesign your commercially public OCs, the less they are eligible for copyright protection. Weird to think about, in my opinion. (sources and relevant court documents (1), (2) and (3)).

The last thing I want to talk about extensively are the designs of the Moodsters themselves. Honesty, I like them. I think they're cute! I probably wouldn't have have written all of this text if I didn't. I dig the idea of having little fluffball monsters represent emotions, even if they have that generic preschool edutainment mascot look to them. I prefer their pilot designs, but the current designs have been growing on me. You might have noticed the green one got redesigned into the orange one to make room for another green one. Or maybe you didn't notice because they both look the same. In fact, they all kind of look the same save for the colors and outfits. They admittedly are not the same exact 3D model copy pasted with different colors and clothes (each have different shaped ears, cheek fur, facial features and heights), but they're all so similar to each other overall that they're still hard to distinguish. The only bad thing about their designs are the fact that their silhouettes look near identical, really.

If I gave you only half a second to tell them apart based on this image, you'd probably have a difficult time. I'd imagine the preschoolers they're marketed to would as well. Now, a bad silhouette is a pretty fundamental character design issue, but it's easily fixed by just reshaping them with different body types. For fun, I tried my hand at it shown below. Essentially they're the same but with more exaggerated shapes, along with digitgrade legs and short tails to help sell the monstrous look. I drew Tully (the current green one) a little later after the original five (digitally, while the former five were drawn traditionally). It's a first draft that could be improved upon more, because if these critters need anything apparently, it's yet another redesign. I did have fun with it though!

Since I like the pilot animation, it got me thinking about how I might reboot the Moodsters for a hypothetical animated show. I’d change the lore a bit. The main change I’d make is scrap the fact that they live in Zach’s house. They’re not like his fairly oddparents or anything to my knowledge, so there’s no need for them to hang out exclusively (or even primarily) with him. Instead of only helping Zach out with his emotions, I’d have them help out everyone in the whole town with them. This would allow the Moodsters (and the audience) to experience a diverse cast of human characters with a wider variety of life and emotional problems. The Moodsters could help out other children, parents, teachers, the baker, the librarian, the mayor, basically there’s a lot more possibilities than Zach alone would ever provide. A diverse cast of townspeople characters would make it more likely that the audience will relate to at least one of them. Having them help out adults would teach kid audiences that even adults need help with their emotions (because boy do we ever), along with giving this show an all ages appeal (so parents would actually want to watch it together with their kids, or heck, even teens, and adults who don’t have children). It’d be an episodic show that focuses on introducing characters with emotional problems that the Moodster main characters help solve, with the townspeople being better neighbors to each other for it. I personally would avoid any fourth wall breaking (“talking down to”) teaching moments because I personally hated that in shows when I was a little kid (I’m looking at you Dora) and it would bore older viewers. Again, I'm going for a aimed-at-young-children-but-has-an all-ages-appeal. All you really need to teach young kids via a show (again I'm far from an expert, I'm making assumptions based on my anecdotal experiences as a child) in an engaging way is interesting character interactions going through a well written plot honestly, and their caregiver being there with them to talk about it with them.

Also, why isn't there a disgust Moodster? Disgust is a lot more than just wincing your nose at duck poop on the sidewalk, it's a feeling that can shape your entire worldview - particularly about other people - if you don't take the time to analyze it like you would other emotions. It's probably the emotion that's talked about and understood the least and absolutely should have a place in an educational tool that teaches about how to identify and handle emotions. Waltzing around with unchecked disgust can mold a person into an needlessly judgmental snob, at worst a bigot (something I sadly have witnessed growing up with my own parents). Again, for fun, I designed one shown below. Admittedly, she's inspired a bit (a lot) by Rarity from My Little Pony. The gem emblem on her detective cape represents her meticulous sense of aesthetics, since she's the most artistic of the Moodster group. She’s purple because that’s the only color left.

Listen, the Moodsters new detective hideout could be in a burrow under a tree stump in the park, there could be a hotline the townspeople can call to summon them for their help with emotional problems, the park could have a year round carnival with a whole ride dedicated to the Moodsters because they’re beloved by the townspeople called the Emotional Rollercoaster that’s a callback to the coaster in the animated pilot. The whole town could be called “Moodsville” or something. One of the school mascots can be a cow (because MOOdsters) with rainbow colored spots that represent each Moodster. Townspeople can participate in all sorts of community activities like community gardening and hanging out at rec centers. The Moodsters can emotionally help children acting for the school play or college students picking careers or parents handling a messy divorce, the possibilities are truly endless.

That's everything I can find online about the Moodsters. I pretty much focused more on the Moodster media as apposed to them as a children's foundation mainly because I find the media more interesting, and it was easier to find information on. If you're reading this and happen to know any other other info about it (especially if it's about the pilot animation), definitely tell me about it because my intrigue pertaining to these fuzzy goobers is immense.

I think it's an IP with a lot of potential, and one that's struggled to have much of any footing on the general public these past few decades. Pretty much any rare recent mention of the Moodsters online is in reference to their lawsuit against Disney, and it's disfavorable on the part of the Moodster Company since a quick-glance-view of the situation shows a company that sued for a copyright infringement case that ultimately looked silly.

I do like their mission statement about aiming to help children and their caretakers to better understand and cope with their emotions, because emotions really are ignored, misunderstood and dismissed a lot here in countries like the US, leading to many dysfunctional interactions between family, coworkers, and communities at large. Discovering the Moodsters has certainly inspired me to be more mindfull about my feelings, and I hope this 9 page wall of text has inspired you to do the same.

Fingers crossed that the Moodster Company re-releases those plushies in the future

[deramin2]

Critical Role is posing a big question about free will in fantasy creatures. Even in Exandria's deliberately less essentialist setting vs. D&D's traditional settings, the Feywild is a fairy tale land and it's denizens are more bound by their natures.

So how much free will and agency does Morrigan have? She claimed Fearn in one of her dark bargains. She kept Fearne safe but imprisoned in her realm and separated from her parents. Fearne is upset at her parents for staying away and not raising her, but Morrigan did that.

However, Morrigan didn't directly treat Fearne cruelly in any other way. She genuinely loved & doted on Fearne. Fearne had a wonderful childhood she cherishes every moment of. It's only looking in from the outside that we have to question how fucked up that caregiver situation is.

Fearne and her parents are victims of Morrigan's nature. But they also love her and forgive her. Both generations of Calloways fled back to Morrigan when they needed safety, protection, and a place they loved that is also part of that nature. They love her. She loves them. They're family and they look out for each other.

Fearne came to Morrigan for serious emotional crisis help in the time it most mattered and Morrigan genuinely helped them. In a terrifying, dramatic, entertaining for her (and us) way, but she did help. Morrigan is a Tragedy Enjoyer™ superfan, only for real life and she can donate to the stream to get the outcome she wants. She just loves watching people make fools out of themselves and suffer awkwardly. Which Bell's Hells did for her very willingly.

So is it Morrigan the Fate Stitchers compelled nature to make everyone she makes deals with suffer? Or is that just really enjoyable for her but if it's entertaining and enjoyable to help people she absolutely can and will do that. Does she always take when she gives? I think the answer is way more compelling if she has free will and we're seeing some of the few exceptions.

So now Chetney has made a deal to be the most famous toymaker ever. All he has to do is bring her a piece of the god-eater. Chetney did not discuss what happens if he fails. He also didn't necessarily need to be famous for his toys. If Bell's Hells succeed and Chetney upholds the bargain, Morrigan might be satisfied and make him famous for heroism. Which might be infamy more than adoration and be a curse all on its own. If he fails maybe she deliberately makes sure he's never remarkable and easily forgotten (Chetney's worst fear). I'm less afraid of her getting him killed because we've seen she likes to keep her victims alive. She makes them living topiaries in her garden. Or she sets them up for constant failure and then watches them flounder as her shows. But I she could still change how he's known if he incidentally dies. (Maybe differently depending on his Bell's Hells fulfills his bargain for him.)

Same with Orym. If Morrigan helps them (he still has to call on her like Percy's pact), Orym serves her. He might become ward like Fearne was with guard duties. He lives in her domain or where she sends him, and he lives in this freaky place with his best friend. Which isn't much different than what he did in and for Zephrah. Except his home is full of so many ghosts it's hard to be there anymore, even though he loves it and the people there. He's been on the road for years unable to settle down in his grief. His "price" for her is that she gives him a place where he has to settle down. Where he's loved and not alone, even if it's not the same. Like Fearne, the reading where this is a tragic sacrifice for Orym is from the outside in. From inside the restrictions come with a lot of benefits. Orym's Fearne's best friend. Morrigan doesn't have to take anything he isn't relieved to give up. Or so he thinks. Maybe his tragedy is that he'd start losing touch with Zephrah over time, like Fearne lost to her parents. What if that's what he thinks he wants so he can be someone new that isn't stuck in the past? Disappearing from his loved one's lives the way Will and Derrig did. But alive and maybe thriving with what feels like a new beginning and a different but happy ending as Fearne's friend.

Travis and Liam are also making a bargain with Matt: Matt sets up dramatic consequences, good or bad, and Travis will get to act out this super interesting story. Chetney's story is about a guy who wants fame so much he makes a huge gamble on his abilities for it. Could be the next Shakespearian tragedy where a hubristic guy makes terrible decisions chasing huge bets into the ground and destroying his own life and many others in the process. Could be the next Lord of the Crossroads.

Liam gets to ask both Matt and the audience if this is a tragedy of the moral chaos of the Feywild. What's a tragedy from the outside might not be one on the inside. Fate and Fate Stitchers are fickle that way. Nana Morri could show nothing but love and affection for Orym and it gets told as a terrifying fairy tale warning against Morri. That's a story that often doesn't get told, but there's so much inherent angst to it. (Which let’s be real Liam is also a Tragedy Enjoyer™ like Morri.

But either way Travis and Liam get to explore what that looks like and how it affects his OC. This is what roleplaying thrives off of. That's what makes it fun. Players, GMs, and dice all being unpredictable in constrained ways that drive the narrative forward, not always to good ends but interesting ends is what makes TTRPGs a compelling medium. The cast have repeatedly said they always enjoy taking the risk and playing out the consequences way more than the things they held back on. They said at the beginning of this campaign all bets are off. Matt's set some high stakes and big red buttons in front of them (even when he warned about the consequences up front).

This is emotional Roller Coaster Tycoon and it's unclear if the players are creating an effective roller coaster that scores high points, or one deliberately designed to crash in new and exciting ways just to see what happens. That breaks so many rules of narratives made for an audience but is totally normal in home-play if all the group consents to it. (Definitely something you need buy-in for from everyone before you play because if someone is expecting epitomized heroic play and gets that they're not going to have a good time.) Perhaps that's also why some audience members aren't vibing with this as much as previous heroic campaigns whereas I who greatly enjoy media like The Lighthouse, Uncut Gems, Torch Song Trilogy, and Dead Esther am having a grand old time. (Just a taste difference.)

Am I scared the characters aren't going to get a happy ending, yeah sort of. This could easily turn into EXU Calamity. But I love the territory they're exploring, the questions about human (and hag) nature they're exploring, and the importance of subjective experience. I have absolutely no investment in how the events ultimately pan out. Blorbos were meant to be tormented. It's important for their enrichment and mine. Is Morrigan going to fuck them over? Maybe, maybe not. But it is going to be a really interesting story either way. And really at the core of it, a really interesting story is what Morrigan likes most.

[musical-chick-13]

Akimeno for the ship game

Really gonna try to say something about them that isn't just AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Ship It

What made you ship it? This is kind of a hard question to answer, because I'm not fully sure. I always liked Himeno, and I did feel very sad about how obviously she wanted Aki to quit. And her devotion toward him tugged at something primal within me. But I was also in kind of a weird place when I first became aware of the manga and went, "Oh, I should check this out," so I think back then it was really more of...an appreciation for her character and the thematic elements of the ship rather than something I Went Feral Over For Personal Reasons? Honestly, I think it was the episode 8 ED (aka MAPPA's Grief AMV) that made me go from "I appreciate this on a narrative level" to "Oh, this is The Ship Ever, actually." (Fun fact, I did an overly-detailed narrative and musical analysis on said ED after it aired just. For fun. To get the Thoughts™ out of my brain.) Genuinely there are not enough words to describe how thoroughly this sequence fucked me up.

What are your favorite things about the ship? YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK ABOUT THIS AT REASONABLE LENGTH??? UGH OKAY, FINE, I'LL TRY, I GUESS. I love how comfortable they are around each other and how they can be in each other's personal space and it's not a huge deal. I love how DEEPLY they care, even if it's to the point of not always being completely healthy. I love how, even though they both have so much respective issues and there are...uh...as-yet-unexplained-in-the-anime Story Reasons for Aki acting in...certain ways...they STILL managed to build this incredibly close and touching relationship. Genuinely everything in the world they live in was kind of conspiring against them in terms of letting them get to a place of mutual emotional attachment, but they got to that place anyway. And it's SO clear that they care SO MUCH: Aki gets to GRIEVE when she dies because she MATTERS; Himeno tries SO HARD to act cavalier about everything, but she CANNOT be cavalier about him, it's impossible, she doesn't even TRY to be; Aki gets mad/petty/vindictive on multiple occasions over the fact that people have hurt her, and Himeno gets borderline-unhinged about the idea of him being in danger. But ultimately, above all, the thing that I really love about them is that, even if there are a lot of things that might not get fully communicated, they still understand each other. And that's, I think, the most important thing to me regarding a ship.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I mean...really the unpopular opinion is just that I ship this in the first place, lmao. (Wow, me shipping something that's NOT the fan-preferred ship, what a surprise.) Um...I guess the fact that I believe the romantic feelings were mutual? There are a lot of things I could point to for this (especially some of the anime-specific animation choices), but I'll stick to the biggest reason (because this is already long enough) which is that, overall, this piece of media is a very tragic story. One laced with hope, yes, but still a tragedy in many ways. And, as someone who used to be a stage actor, having to inhabit various fictional characters day after day, I tend to look at fiction from the angle of, "What interpretation choice makes the theme/genre stronger?" So, what's the bigger tragedy: Two people, for all their faults, are in love-could have had time together and been on the same page and carved out some small pocket of happiness, however brief-but one of them is physically prevented by story elements from ever realizing or acting on it? That the feelings WERE there and it COULD have worked but it never got there due to circumstances COMPLETELY outside anyone's control? Or "girl likes best friend who doesn't like her back." Some people may think that straight-up unrequited love is more tragic, but I think it's infinitely more sad when the love is mutual but forced to go unrealized.

Ship ask game

[storm-leviosa-fanfics]

Fic Rec List

In honour of the 2 year anniversary of my last fic rec list, have another.

Seven acts of mercy, by ElodieWrites (multichap, incomplete)

Kicking this whole thing off with a tonne of angst. This is a post-Batman #71 fic so use your discretion on whether that is for you (tw for child abuse etc), but Tim and Damian's relationship is really beautiful in this. Incomplete, but what's there is definitely worth reading

One shot, two shots in the night, by discowing (@wlwdiscowing) (multichap, complete)

Bruce Wayne writes a memoir, goes to therapy, and realises how much his family means to him - not necessarily in that order. I'm a sucker for some good dad Bruce, and this is some great good dad Bruce. He's not perfect but he's trying and that's all we can ask really.

Not taking it for granted, by woodenwashbucket (oneshot)

It wouldn't be a batfam rec list if there weren't some heartbreaking angst. Tim and Damian ruminate on being dead, on being not dead after all, and on grief after everyone you know and love dies. It has a happy ending though, promise.

Farthest you've ever flown, by rutacea (@applejee) (multichap, complete)

Some brilliant hurt/comfort right here. I know just how hard Luka worked on this fic and it really shows! Great work! Tim's dad (Jack not Bruce) kicks him out and Jason, pre-reveal to the rest of the fam, finds out and looks after him.

Batfam pacific rim au, by Calypso_Rambles (@theogygiaisland)(series)

Exactly what it says on the tin really. Just...super good guys idk. Told non-linearly which is really interesting and cool. You never quite know what's coming with this fic and it's so refreshing.

The universe was made just to be seen by your eyes, by popsunner (@popsun) (oneshot)

Somehow angsty and funny and heartwarming all at once I cannot even begin to describe the emotion this makes me feel (which isn't hard ngl but still). Core four roadtrip post-Tim death/resurrection, feat. batfam fluff. The whole series this belongs to is great actually, highly recommend.

Thank you for calling..., by Maximum_Quinn (@aahsokaatano) (oneshot)

Outsider POV. Poor Tyler having to deal with all the batfam's drama. I would be Done™ too. Light-hearted fun, much love.

Secretary Tim (and other shenanigans), by Shirokokuro (@shirokokuro) (series)

Tim is Bruce's secretary in this, which sounds like a crack fic but it's actually not? Which doesn't mean it's not funny! Just it is funny and a little bit angsty. Some of the fics in this series deal with parental death and hospitals and stuff if that's a trigger for you, but not all of them.

5 times Tim spends the night at Wayne Manor + 1 time he comes home, by motleyfam (@motleyfam) (multichap, complete)

'Tim joins the family early' is one of my favourite tropes and this is no exception. It's also a five plus one, which is just a bonus. A multichap of manageable length.

Twelve Magpies, by 061828 (oneshot)

One of those epic Tim/Bernard fics that came out (lol) of Urban Legends being awesome. This one's great fun - fluff and angst and some hilarious secret identity shenanigans.

If anyone else has any recs, feel free to add them in the notes.

[exuberantocean]

Can you explain what you meant about Ted and Fraser performing as themselves?

I'm going to go with Ted as an example since it's been a little since I watched Due South. Ted truly is a warm, caring person who I believe really does enjoying being positive to everyone around him. I don't think that's fake.

But, Ted is also a character with a great deal of grief, sadness, anxiety and pain. Ted who is always talkative and loud around friends, we see is also very much capable of being quiet when he's alone.

Ted plays up the parts of himself he's willing to let others see while suppressing the parts of himself he isn't (because he's afraid to show/share his pain/open up about certain things).

This also means that when Ted is feeling one way, he'll often act like the emotional opposite.

The best/most recent example is 2x12. We see Ted alone in the morning getting ready for the day and joining up with Beard. And you can see just how difficult this day is for him, given that the whole world know suddenly knows about his panic attacks. He's on the tv, he's in the papers. This is the very thing he's been trying to keep hidden and now it's been sensationalized and he's clearly feeling how hard it is to face.

And then he shows up at Rebecca's office as his usually sunshiny self. It's not that Ted's suddenly feeling so much better, it's that he's acting like Ted™ instead of acting as he actually feels. He is still motivated to be positive around others even though he's not feeling positively right now because to him, that's who he is. That's the role he plays. So he exaggerates or plays up certain aspects about himself that are totally true while hiding others.

[lovedlovingly]

Hi! I just wanted to tell you I think your emotional strength and self love and protecting your self worth are so amazing and inspirational and I hope you get everything you want in life! Hugs!

thank you!!

it's fucking hard to go through this rn ngl and I'm not sugarcoating it (just not talking about all this as publicly as i could because??? i actually feel embarrassed by all this still) but i know I'm not the first in the world to go through this, i know it happens and it sucks! and it's allowed to suck!

i don't have a handbook on how to deal w/ this situation so I'm literally going moment from moment but holy shit am i proud of myself and I'm so glad someone out there sees it as inspirational 😭💗

I've gone through an avalanche of emotions and every day is weird to wake up to but ofc easier than the last. and it already feels like a month since it all happened because it's been so much™ but it's literally 10days day since i got ghosted w/ no explanation and seems like i won't get one 🥲

8 months of feelings, which were still high af for me, won't cool in just 10 days and i still have hope (it feels like a warm blanket) that he'll come back. but i don't want to take him back because of that. i need to have more self love than to be treated like this and i will have that in the end 😌 i do wish for a dialogue but that could harm me in the long run too so I'm not counting on it.

what I've really learned tho with this, is what i want from a partner - and ofc also what i don't want, how i want to be loved, how i want to feel with someone and what path i want to go in life! what i wanna work towards! and i will find someone who shares it all and roots me on and wants to grow together 🥰 but the most important thing; I've learnt to cry. without stopping myself. my floor has been covered in tissues most days because i just get waves of sorrow, grief and pure raw sadness 😂 and letting it all out will let me heal faster and be ready for whatever beauty life actually has in store for me ❣️

and I'm taking u all up with me 🥰

[capseycartwright]

how are you so accepting of seb and everything happening on screen? I haven't seen you struggle about it once and I feel as though I'm never going to get over it

ok so. i’m not trying to tell you how to feel or act, but i’m going to tell u a story which explains why i will accept whatever narrative choices any show i watch makes. 

basically, i had a bad™ experience and it really affected me badly and changed the way i do fandom. when i was a lonely lil fourteen year old, i discovered fandom and fic and tumblr and i got super invested in all things iCarly. like, i would stay up to watch it live (which was like 2am my time) and i’d say up until 3 or 4am every saturday night just to liveblog and react and be involved with fandom. it was my happy place, you know? i ran a popular blog, i had lots of online friends, i wrote fic, it was all good. then my otp got together and it was even more good, and then the show fucked it. like, just fucked it up. i cried about the finale for days. like, literal days. i was devastated the show would end like that, that the show hadn’t gone the way i wanted. like, heartbroken isn’t a strong enough word. i left fandom, i deleted my ff.net account, i deleted everything. like, i was so badly affected by hating how this show had ended, this is legit my first proper fandom experience since. 

being that #traumatised changed the way i look at fandom. like - for my sanity, i just go with the narrative. i might think its a meh writing choice, but there’s fuck all i can do, really, so i have to go with it or stop watching. i did it with the 100 - i didn’t like the narrative choices and i found i couldn’t just go with it and enjoy it, so i had to stop watching. like, the media we consume is something we have an emotional connection to, of course. we wouldn’t watch it/write fic about it/be in fandom if we didn’t have an emotional connection to the story and the characters. thats why its hard to accept some narrative choices. but for me, the best way to consume any sort of media/fandom is to either accept the narrative choices and where the story is, or quit watching. i know that sounds super black and white, but like i said, i had a bad bad experience with a show before and i don’t want to end up in that place again, so i’m quite ruthless about the things i watch. i don’t enjoy it anymore? bye. its done, i’m not going to watch it. it’s the only way i can keep fandom and tv shows etc as my fun hobby and not something that consumes my life in a negative way, because (and i think i say this a lot but yolo) i find negative thought incredibly overwhelming. around the ONS i was really upset and didn’t like the narrative choices being made on ed, and it spilled over into my everyday life, and thats when i had my “either accept the narrative choices being made or quit watching” moment and i didn’t want to quit watching, so here we are.

like. i think you’ve got to have your own journey with this aspect of fandom. casually watching a tv show is different to watching  and enjoying it through the media of fandom - it’s an inherently time consuming way of watching and enjoying a tv show, and its obviously upsetting when the thing you give so much time to goes in a direction you don’t like. its tough, and i sympathise, because i have felt that way before, but its a dangerous line of thought for me personally - i can’t exist in a fandom space where my perspective is an unhappy one. like - i know i probably come across as relentlessly positive and accepting of anything thats happened within this storyline, but its for my own sanity. for some people its cathartic to be negative, and to express that upset and anger - its like a grieving process, right? for a lot of people, you have to grieve your way through a storyline you don’t like in the hopes of reaching the final stage of grief and accepting whats on screen. i have to be harsh with myself from the get go or it turns fandom into a very ugly thing for me.

this got long i’m sorry and i’m on mobile so no readmore for u but you’ve got to muddle your way through your feelings and find a way to deal with your anger and sadness and come out the other side of it. i can’t really give you advice bc most people would consider my attitude too harsh or easier said than done lmao but its worked well for me for years now so u gotta find what works well for you