#dealends

[inmyheaddd]

✦ anything - grayson hawthorne x reader

summary: you go to the cliffs to find peace and time alone after an argument with grayson, only for him to follow after you shortly, where he’s briefly reminded of a certain someone. warnings: angst, emily mention…, more angst, happy ending / resolved at the end i pinky swear!! wc: 1.7k masterlist || jameson version!

you slammed the door behind you, your breath coming in quick, uneven bursts as you stormed out of the house. the fight still echoed in your mind, every word hitting like a fresh wound. grayson had this unwavering ability of cutting deep without raising his voice, of shutting you out without even trying.

you needed to get away. anywhere but there.

you always found solace in the ocean, viewing it from up high brought you a sense of serenity nothing else could compare to. 

"you can't keep shutting me out, grayson."

"i'm not shutting you out, i'm trying to protect you."

"oh,” you chuckled dryly “from what? from you?" you almost mocked, recalling the words he would always say. 

his face had been unreadable, that cold mask slipping into place as soon as you started to get too close to the truth. it always happened like this. every time you pushed, he pulled away. every time you needed him, he locked himself down tighter.

"you don't understand—"

"no, i do understand. i understand that you don't trust me. that you'll never let me in. your problems don’t make you less than, they make you human.” you tried to explain to him, but it was like he would never get it. it was drilled into him since he was a child that he had to be ‘perfect.’ 

“i just want you to be real with me, gray.”

the wind whipped at your hair as you stared out at the waves, your heart pounding in your chest. he didn’t trust you. he never had. no matter how much you tried to be there for him, to show him that he didn’t have to do this alone, he always shut you out.

you paid no mind to the wind tugging at your hair as you reached the top of the cliffs, your eyes fixed on the dark horizon twinkled with stars and constellations you had spent many nights learning with grayson. 

god, it always came back to him somehow. his voice still echoed in your head, and you willed for it to go away, focusing on anything you possibly could around you. 

it almost worked, until the voice wasn’t just in your head anymore. 

“it’s late, you shouldn’t be out here.” 

of course he found his way here. so much for your short lived peace. 

“i know how to take care of myself,” you spat, not even looking back at him. 

you felt his sharp gaze on you, “i never said otherwise.” 

the wind whipped harder as you reached the edge, the waves crashing violently below, almost mirroring the maelstrom you felt inside you. you stared out, your heart pounding in your chest as you wrapped your arms around you. why did it always end like this with him? why couldn’t he just let you in?

“don’t walk away from me,” he called out when you kept silent, “we can work this out. you know we can.” 

you took a deep inhale, the cold sea air filling your senses before you turned your head to face grayson. “you say that, but when we try, you still never fully open up to me. what the hell am i supposed to do with that?” 

he immediately took a step forward when you finally turned to face him, but there was still a metre distance between you two. “i’m  not trying to shut you out. i’m—” he hesitated, his breath catching. “i’m protecting you.”

“there it is again,” you muttered under your breath, your grip on your arms tightening. “protect me from what? grayson, you keep saying that like it’s a valid reason but you don’t tell me anything.” you stated, growing more frustrated and exasperated by the second.

“my problems shouldn’t be your burden.” he said with his jaw stone tight, his eyes colder than you’ve ever seen them. “i’ve dealend with them alone all my life, that doesn’t have to change.”

“oh my god, grayson, it’s like talking to a brick wall with you.” you sighed, on the brink of crying or screaming, you weren’t too sure what would come first. “why can’t you understand that i want to be there for you? i want to help you, i want you to be able to trust me.” you pointed out, like it couldn’t be more simple. 

when he kept everything to himself, it felt like he didn’t value your input or that you didn't mean enough to him for him to tell you. you know that wasn’t the case, but it still felt like it. 

you shook your head, “you’re not a burden, i love you, for gods sake.” you turned around frustratedly with a huff and faced your back to him. your eyes pricked and your throat burned— you hated the way you felt everything so deeply sometimes. you felt selfish.

you shook your head and took a step forward, further away from him and closer to the edge. 

it wasn’t a large step, by any means, but there was something in the action seemed to set grayson off. 

he called out for you, almost like a gasp with the way his voice was strained and quieter than it usually was. 

your mind seemed to block out all the other things in an instant, the argument, the harsh wind blowing in your hair, the waves crashing below you, the way your ears rang. 

the only thing you were focused on was him.

your head whipped around, the anger dissipating from your body when you took in the expression on his face. “grayson?” when he didn’t respond, you walked towards him tentatively.

he didn’t respond right away, just kept staring past you, his whole body tense, like he was frozen. “hey, what’s wrong?” you said, taking another step back, maybe he needed space, and watched as his eyes finally shifted to yours.

"please," he said, but it wasn’t a demand—it was a plea. "don’t do that."

“gray?” you took his hands in yours in an attempt to ground him, but he simply shook his head. 

“i’m sorry,” his eyes looked almost panicked he finally said, his voice rough, barely above a whisper. “i’m sorry, please don’t do that. i love you; i promise.” he repeated, his voice crackling in a way that broke your heart all the same. 

his breath was shallow as you furrowed your brows in confusion, hoping there’d be an answer in his eyes as you switched looking between them. “grayson, what do you mean?”

then you realized: he wasn’t hearing you anymore. his mind was somewhere else, somewhere far away, somewhere dark. he wasn’t looking at you—he was looking past you.

emily. god, how you hated the mere mention of that name. you didn’t know the full extent of what she did, but you knew enough. more than enough. 

you knew that she hurt grayson davenport hawthorne in a way no one had before.

“gray, look at me, please. i’m not emily.” you begged, taking your hands to his chest. 

nothing. 

“grayson,” your breath was picking up, your mouth felt drier than ever. you weren’t even sure if a word you were saying would even get to him over the noise of the cliffs, and the state he was in. “you’re scaring me.”

that seemed to do it for him, as the panic left his eyes and made way for something else— almost sorrow, you thought. 

he blinked rapidly, as if shaking himself out of a trance. his grip tightened around your hands, grounding himself in your presence. the distant, haunted look in his eyes slowly faded, replaced with something fragile, something that made your heart ache for him.

“i’m sorry,” he muttered again, but this time it wasn’t panicked—it was broken.

“it’s okay,” you whispered, though you knew it wasn’t, not entirely. but right now, the only thing that mattered was him. “i’m not going anywhere, grayson.”

his hands were still trembling slightly, and you held them tighter, stepping closer until there was barely any space left between you.

“i’m not her,” you repeated softly, your voice steady even as your heart raced. “i’m here, and i love you. nothing you say or do will change that.” you took a breath in, “but you have to let me in, grayson. i can’t do this if you won’t trust me.”

his gaze finally met yours fully, the coldness and distance replaced by a vulnerability you’d rarely seen in him. his jaw clenched, as if he was trying to hold back whatever storm of emotions was raging inside him.

“you’re too good for me, you deserve better. i’m—“ he trailed off, “you shouldn’t have to deal with… this.” 

he deflected your whole point. 

you understood what the message of that was— what he wouldn’t say. he thinks he’s too shattered for you. too much. 

“grayson. i don’t need your protection from yourself. you think you’re some broken toy that needs fixing, you think you need to become something else, something unattainable— but that’s not true.” you shook your head as you forced back tears threatening to come up. 

“i don’t want the version of yourself you think you should be, i want the version you are. how many ways do i have to say it for you to understand?” you continued with a humourless laugh, looking into his eyes that shone a little extra now, focused on you entirely.  

“i love you for you, the way you stifle your laughs when your brothers do something stupid, the way your dimples only show when you find something really funny, or the way that you connect with your passions in such a way that can only leave someone mesmerized. i love you. you’re everything to me.” 

for a long moment, there was silence between you, only the sound of the wind and the waves filling the space. then he finally spoke, the vulnerability in his voice more evident than ever. “i don’t deserve you,” he finally said

“you deserve more than you think,” you almost whispered, without missing a beat. “talk to me, gray. let me know what you’re going through.” 

“i can’t.” he said. grayson davenport hawthorne couldn’t not do anything, and he never admitted it either. 

“i don’t know how to.” he continued; this was just grayson to you. his last name and all that came with it didn’t mean anything to you.

“try,” you asked, your voice steady but soft as you knew how hard this was for the both of you. 

“you don’t have to do it all at once, but let me be there for you. let me love you how i should.”

his hands broke away from yours to cup your face, bringing you into a kiss that was more of a silent promise. words would’ve failed him in fully expressing what he wanted to say. 

when he pulled back from your lips, the wind around you felt a little gentler. he ended up speaking anyways, and the words undid you. 

“i’ll try,” he whispered against your lips, “i’ll try.” 

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[reneleijen]

Tieners geronseld via TikTok voor drugshandel

Tieners geronseld via TikTok voor drugshandel

In hun ‘brede harde aanpak’ van de drugscriminaliteit stuitte de politie Arnhem onlangs op een 13-jarig dealertje. In zeven maanden tijd werden al 78 drugsverdachten geïdentificeerd, waarvan bijna een kwart jonger dan 23 was. Volgens politiechefs Gideon Zandstra en Frank van Leeuwen zijn dealende pubers geen uitzondering meer. De kinderen worden geronseld op school en straat maar ook via TikTok…

[ndjsje]

los Clippers de Los o los Thunder de Oklahoma

Escuchar cualquiera de las dos anteriores, me resulta peyorativo. Prefiero persona con mini melissa picole vidrodiscapacidad, aunque tampoco me termina de convencer. Simplemente soy una

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persona que tiene unas limitaciones en su vida y que cada día lucha para nike hypervenom all black vencerlas, además en mi caso, son tan invisibles que si no te lo digo, ni te darás cuenta.. En cuanto a la plantilla, los camara sony cybershot dsc w810 Grizzlies han reforzado el banquillo y volver zattini promoção de botas a confiar en su juego interior de los mejores de la liga compuesto por el espa y Zach Randolph, rodeado de buenos jugadores como Mike Conley, Jeff Green, Vince Carter o Tony Allen. Pero el l ser Marc, elegido en el mejor quinteto de la pasada temporada y p m votado en una encuesta reciente realizada a los propietarios de las franquicias. Este curso los Grizzlies lo tendr a m dif en la reforzada Conferencia Oeste con conjuntos como los campeones Warriors, los Spurs, los Clippers de Los o los Thunder de Oklahoma.. En el anterior encuentro, por primera vez en 726 días, desde noviembre de 2014, Stephen Curry se quedaba sin anotar un triple. Su 0/10 contra Los Angeles Lakers era la peor marca de su carrera y acabó con una racha de 157 partidos seguidos sumando al menos una canasta de tres. En el partido anterior ante los Thunder acumuló un pobre 2/6. Y, aunque es cierto que estas Finales lo han llevado a un extremo no sostenible, si los Warriors logran esta noche el anillo con su formato liliputiense, a los tacaones les tocará quemar sus viejos apuntes y la moda se hará costumbre. Y qué mejor símbolo para esta revolución que Curry, un nike jean jacketgenio delgado de 'solo' 1,91 que es pura fantasía. Un jugador sin referentes históricos porque es distinto a todo lo que habíamos visto. Es porque está más cerca, básicamente. Eso, combinado con que es más difícil llegar a defender. Hay jugadores que se les da más el frontal (tu caso), pero de media, en el conjunto de la liga, es un 3% más de probabilidades. Chris Bosh y Ford aportaron 14 puntos cada uno, mientras que Juan Dixon firmó 11 anotaciones que dejaron a los Raptors con el segundo triunfo consecutivo y pusieron fin a una racha de cinco derrotas seguidas ante los Nuggets. Ford también repartió 14 asistencias y los Raptors se consolidaron en el primer lugar de la División Atlántico y cada más cerca de conseguir su primer título en la franquicia del equipo. Carmelo Anthony, segundo máximo encestador de la liga, y Allen Iverson no pudieron nunca con la defensa de lo Raptors y fueron limitados a 10 y 14 puntos, respectivamente, sin que su aportación ayudase a evitar la derrota de los Nuggets.. Pero muchísimo mejor. Lo que ha cambiado es el resto de baloncesto internacional, que ha subido muchísimo el nivel. Ahora, casi todas las selecciones tienen algún NBA en sus filas, y muchos son verdaderas estrellas en la liga estadounidense. Los espa somos culpables de muchos atropellos, pero no quieras endosarnos este tambien, pues no nos pertenece. En realidad esos paises se repartian tareas, el comercio de esclavos fue mayoritariamente fianciado y

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organizado por banqueros Holandeses de origen judio, encargaban a Arabes de raptar 'trabajadores' de raza negra en Africa y los traian a puertos de Cadiz, Barcelona etc. Donde otra vez les esperaban los Holandeses para organizar la venta a traficantes Ingleses, Espanoles y Portugueses que los llevaban a las Americas y revenderlos o emplearlos directamente. Sin embargo, la gratitud de los reyes medievales sol tener fecha de caducidad, y una serie de desencuentros con el monarca hizo caer en desgracia al noble castellano en 1448. El castillo y la villa de Alba de Tormes fueron confiscados y el primer Conde de Alba fue encarcelado durante seis a acusado de rebeli por de Luna, su viejo valedor. Fue en ese tiempo cuando se mostraron las primeras trazas de la voraz personalidad e guerrero de Garc de Toledo, quien siendo solo un adolescente organiz varias incursiones militares por los territorios de los air max 90 ultra se nobles leales al Rey. The Celtics signed Al Horford last year. The Jazz endured a difficult Tuesday with point guard George Hill agreeing to a three year, $57 million dealEnd of Tour de France 4th stage marred by ugly and controversial crash that took out Mark CavendishBritish cyclist Mark Cavendish may have been knocked out of the Tour de France in an ugly crash that was some feel wasaccidental but has othersscreaming foul. The lugosis carharttfinal kilometers at the end of the fourth stage of the Tour de France were expected to be exciting and potentially dangerous, but once the lead riders cleared two sharp turns it was expected to just be a sprint to the finish. Il punto di rottura, in questo senso, datato 2014. In quell'anno Disney attuale proprietaria dei diritti su Star Wars

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ha deciso di riscrivere sostanzialmente il canone di Star Wars (ovvero la storyline ufficiale della saga). Dall'anno scorso sono quindi stati divisi i progetti legati al franchise in due grandi tronconi e non canoci, con quest'ultimi chiamati per comodit Legends.. He looked much more like the LeBron James of his carefree early years in Cleveland than the more stoic version of recent vintage."We saw you on the broadcast, seconds left in the game what was going on on the bench in your show of just unbridled emotion?" Scott asked."I mean, uh . This right here is the happiest day of my life," James said, the crowd again rising to meet him. Just one day after he was acquired by the Golden Knights from Chicago, Kruger was on the move again Tuesday as the Carolina Hurricanes acquired him from Vegas for a fifth round pick at next year's draft.

[deprotagonisten]

Babyteeth

Recensie Babyteeth ★★★★★ - 23, 30, 31 januari en 1 februari te zien op @IFFR en later dit jaar in de bioscoop Au, wat doet deze film pijn. En wat een liefde ❤️ #Babyteeth #IFFR2020 #iffr

De dramafilm Babyteeth gaat over Milla, die op haar zestiende al aan kanker lijdt en ook nog eens een drugs dealend vriendje heeft. Haar ouders besluiten haar anders op te voeden dan gebruikelijk, vooral in deze fase van haar leven. Wat wij van Babyteeth vinden, lees je in onze recensie.

(more…)

[thcguide]

Fake Cannabis: Kölner Teenie verkauft Buchsbaumblätter

#Fake #Cannabis: Kölner Teenie verkauft Buchsbaumblätter

Den Vogel in puncto Dreistigkeit hat ein dealender Teenager in Köln abgeschossen, der simple Blätter vom Buchsbaum als Hanf verkaufen wollte – und ausgerechnet an einen Cop geriet. (Bild von Andrzej Rembowski auf Pixabay)

Wenn Ihr Cannabis beim Dealer kaufen geht, was zwar illegal ist, aber beliebt, dann haben die Verkäufer manchmal gestrecktes Gras am Start. Allerlei Varianten sind da anhängig,…

[ungeheuerliches]

Drei Islamisten sollen aus der U-Haft entlassen werden, so das Berliner Kammergericht. Besonders interessant: Sie sind auch Drogendealer. Das sind doch echte Parade-Muslime, oder?

[zwentner]

LIV060 Aufgeschlitzt & drangelassen

Hi Freunde, wir sind wieder da und beglücken euch mit unserem wöchentlichen Platten-Talk. Diesmal mit dabei: Calexico, Vince Staples, Kikagaku Moyo, Mariah Carey, Kevin Morby, BadBadNotGood, Destroyer, japanischer City Pop und mehr.

11.09.2020

…..

Bitte bewertet uns auf iTunes (klickt hier) oder nutzt die Bewertungsfunktion in der Apple Podcast App! Wir sind Euch sehr verbunden…

Du willst uns etwas mitteilen, uns kritisieren oder uns etwas über Platten erzählen, nur zu! Wir freuen uns…

Erreicht uns auf Twitter @zwentner auf Instagram @nibrasso, @newreverend oder @zwentner auf Snapchat @zwentner oder gerne auch per Mail: lostinvinyl@zwentner.com

Auf Instagram habt ihr zudem die Möglichkeit viele unserer Schallplatten zu sehen :)

Die Songs die wir in jeder Folge ansprechen findet ihr in unseren Playlisten auf Spotify oder Apple Music. Also gerne direkt abonnieren!

Bitte vergesst nicht uns eine Bewertung auf Apple Podcasts zu hinterlassen! Wir freuen uns :)

Shownotes LIV060:

….. (Nachlese) Kikagaku Moyo, Mammatus Clouds – Pacific Breeze: Japanese City Pop, AOR & Boogie 1976-1986 Summer Fun Vinyl Edition – HIROSHI NAGAI UPSCALES

….. Calexico, Feast of Wire (silver vinyl)

….. Sepher, Shaytoon

….. Vince Staples, Summertime 06 (special edition)

….. (Vinyl Freakshow) Third Man Records 3rpm Record Third Anniversary TMR Jack White – Music From Baz Luhrmann’s Film The Great Gatsby (gold & platinum)

…..(Preorders) Mariah Carey Vinyl Represses – Heathered Pearls – Kevin Morby, SUNDOWNER – SPOTIFY FANS FIRST EDITION – Moses Boyd, Dark Matter – BadBadNotGood III – Destroyer’s Ruby’s – Helena Dealend, Someone New

….. (Outro) always be my baby | 8-bit mariah carey

  On Air:

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BTC

Christoph

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Nibras Naami

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