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nebulous-frog · 7 years ago

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Can You Feel the Love Tonight

Summary: Phil sings with the door open while he’s folding laundry and Dan overhears. Phil’s completely tone deaf and doesn’t know any of the lyrics, but that won’t stop him, dammit, no matter how many times people ask him to seriously just stop. Dan thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.

Rating: G

Warnings: Dan swears

Word Count: 3391

Challenge: Disney Challenge

Pairing: Phan

Genre: University AU, Fluff, Getting Together, Strangers to Lovers

Author’s Note: Thanks so much to @imnotinclinedtomaturity for betaing and generally being fantastic! This was written for @phanfichallenge’s Disney Challenge

Link to AO3 Fics Masterlist

“Pregnant women, sick of swimmin’, ready to staaaaaaaaaand!” Phil sang as he folded his laundry in the living room. “And ready to go where the people flow! Ask him high questions and get them answered!”

“Phil, stop!” whined his friend, Nate. “Those literally aren’t the words at all!”

Phil turned to grin at his friend. “So? Mine are better.” He turned back and continued folding his laundry, humming to himself.

“They make no sense, though! Besides, you’re completely tone deaf and I think you’ve killed the cat that lives in the place across the street. Look at it! A few minutes ago it was standing but now it’s lying on its back with its feet in the air! Poor thing. Ruined by Phil’s atrocious singing.”

Phil scoffed. “That cat is alive and you know it. It’s just having a comfortable lie-down.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “Whatever, mate, just knock it off. I’m trying to write an essay. You know, that thing you invited me over to do?”

Sighing dramatically, Phil continued folding his trousers in silence. He was always more willing to do laundry when someone else was in the room because it felt like time flew by faster and he didn’t have to think so much about the work.

Unfortunately for him, nobody would agree to hang out just to watch him fold laundry, so he’d tried to come up with lies like “Hey, let’s do homework together in my room!” to get his friends to keep him company. Nate was the very first person he tried this lie on, but the result wasn’t exactly what Phil wanted, as Nate was clearly irritated by Phil’s singing and would have much rathered to actually do homework in peace and quiet. Phil decided to try again with someone else next time to see who might be the most willing to put up with him.

As it turned out, nobody was willing to put up with him singing badly while folding laundry when they were meant to do homework. The next several weeks consisted of Phil trying and failing to trick his friends into hanging out while he folded laundry until he finally gave up. He would just have to deal with the boredom of laundry by himself.

To make up for the lack of company, Phil took to singing constantly and loudly throughout the folding process. It wasn’t as good as having somebody in the room with him, but it worked alright. He’d generally leave his door open, as well, letting anyone walking down the hallway hear his magnificent renditions of classic Disney.

Unbeknownst to Phil, this practice gained him a secret admirer…

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a long day. Dan had gotten an essay back from a professor with a series of disappointing comments and a note to visit office hours, took an exam he felt woefully underprepared for, and skipped lunch to complete an assignment he had totally forgotten about. It was late, he was tired and as he trudged down the hall feeling sorry for himself, all he wanted to do was eat some shitty uni food and just go to bed.

As he walked, however, he approached an open door and heard something incredibly enticing.

Am I going insane now or did I just hear singing? Like, surprisingly angelic singing? Dan thought. He slowed to a stop outside the open door and listened for a moment.

Someone was singing “Circle of Life” from The Lion King but with the wrong lyrics.

“It’s a llama, penguin and a llama. It’s a llama penguin and a llama. It’s a llama penguin and a llama.”

Dan giggled. Hearing such incorrect lyrics sung unashamedly was extremely endearing. He peeked into the room and saw a young man with black hair and pale skin folding a pair of trousers and singing. He was completely off-key and actually pretty bad at singing, but Dan thought his voice was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard. This mysterious man’s voice and confidence was utterly entrancing and uplifting after the day Dan had had.

The man started to turn around and Dan panicked. He didn’t want the man to know he’d been there watching him, so Dan quickly jogged down the hall before he could be noticed.

As he fled, Dan wondered if he would hear the man sing again someday.

A week later, he did. This time, the man was botching the lyrics to “When Will My Life Begin” from Tangled.

“And so I’ll read a Nook or maybe two or three, add a few new pizzas to my kitchen sink, I’ll play guitar hero and eat and a plus b just wonder when will my life begin!”

Dan held back a snort at the lyrics, unsure if the man just didn’t know the lyrics at all or made up ones he liked better. Either way, the man was folding laundry with his door open and singing again and Dan was in love. He watched the man as he folded his clothes and sang for a few minutes, then decided to sit outside the room and down the hall a little bit, just far enough away to still hear but not be obviously listening in.

Pulling out his laptop to work on homework, Dan grinned. He’d found the perfect study spot with an attractive man singing wonderfully right nearby. What more could he want?

Every week, the man would do his laundry and leave his door open while he folded it and sang. By the fifth week, Dan had figured out the man’s schedule enough to know the exact time the singing would start and he would sit in the hallway, just to listen. It became a habit and a relaxing evening activity for Dan. The singing man was something he could depend on.

He would always fold laundry with his door open on Wednesday nights at 7pm, belting completely incorrect lyrics at the top of his lungs. Dan began pining after this adorable man purely based on his habit while folding laundry.

Dan told his friend Melody all about it over coffee in a cafe near the dorms.

“So, you’re telling me that for the last month you’ve creepily sat outside some guy’s room listening to him sing badly and with the wrong lyrics? And you still haven’t talked to him?”

Dan opened his mouth to reply, then paused, wrapping his hands tighter around his coffee mug. “Well, when you put it like that it does sound kinda weird, I guess…”

Melody scoffed. “Yeah, definitely weird. Are you gonna talk to him sometime soon?”

Dan’s eyes snapped up to Melody’s before darting around nervously. “What? Of course not! Why would I do that?” he said in a rush. He took a quick gulp of coffee then cautiously looked back up at Melody.

Melody stared blankly at him for a second, then shook her head, as if to herself. She took what seemed to be a steadying sip of her coffee, then looked Dan directly in the eye. “Daniel Howell, you’re unbelievable.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “And you’re just now learning that?”

She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “You’re so oblivious it hurts. You clearly like this guy, so you should talk to him.”

“Ha ha, very funny. I don’t like him, I just like his voice and how he gets all the lyrics wrong. He’s interesting.” Dan took another sip of his coffee, avoiding eye contact with Melody.

“You just said he sings way off-key. What do you mean you like his voice but don’t like him? Also, any time I accidentally sing the wrong lyrics to a song you freak out and correct me. You definitely like him and you definitely need to talk to him.”

As Melody spoke, Dan shrunk down further and further in his seat and found his mug more and more interesting.

“Okay, fine. Say I do like this guy, which I don’t-” Dan ignored Melody’s eye roll and glare, “- What do you suggest I do about it? You know how bad I get when trying to talk to guys I like for the first time.”

Melody nodded and snorted a laugh. “Remember that time you tried talking to that barista and accidentally spilled three separate coffees on him and-”

“Thanks, Melody, I did not need a reminder! That was not an invitation for you to shame me!”

Stifling her laughter, Melody took another sip of coffee. “Okay, okay, I’m done! Promise.” She giggled again. “Anyway, you need a plan to talk to this badly-singing, laundry-folding cutie. Well, if you don’t want to immediately launch into conversation you could always leave flowers and a note or something and eventually reveal yourself. Cliche and cheesy, but effective.”

Dan nodded thoughtfully. “I could leave notes. Yeah, that might work.”

“Glad to be of assistance. If you need help writing them, let me know!” Melody smiled brightly and drank more of her coffee.

“Thanks, but I think I have some ideas already. I guess I have to go write one down now if I want to leave one for him while he does his laundry this week. I’ll see you later, okay?” Dan said. He finished off the last of his coffee then stood, quickly leaving the cafe for his dorm.

About an hour and several crumpled-up sheets of paper later, Dan finally had a note to give to the man. It was written on a bright green sticky note, since that was all he had. He was inspired by the man’s generally incorrect lyrics, so the note featured a slight parody of “Once Upon a Dream” from Sleeping Beauty:

“I know you, I’ve listened here once upon a dream, I know you, with such a familiar melody, And I know it’s true, you’re just so alluring when you sing, But if I know you, I’ll love you so true! And you’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream!”

Reading it over a few more times, Dan decided it was good enough. Maybe a little bit cheesy, but he couldn’t help it when the man of his affections always sang Disney songs.

Dan picked up his bag with his laptop and the note, then headed over to the hallway with the man’s room.

He could hear singing before he even turned the corner, and he grinned. He was ready to do this.

Settling in about two meters away from the open door, Dan pulled out his laptop and began working on homework, as normal. He had decided not to give the note to the man until just before Dan left again so he could maximize his time listening to the man sing before he had to run away to maintain his anonymity.

Today, the man sang a few more songs from The Lion King and The Little Mermaid, still with the incorrect lyrics and off-key. As time passed, Dan grew more relaxed and content, just as he had every week so far.

About five minutes before Dan would normally leave, he packed up his stuff and put it all in his backpack. Note in hand, he approached the man’s room carefully and peeked in.

Luckily, the man was busy putting his folded clothes away in his chest of drawers with his back to the door. After ogling the man’s ass for a few seconds, Dan snapped out of his trance and put the note on the floor as far into the room as he could reach and quickly fled the scene. He speed-walked down the hallway as fast as he could without looking too suspicious (hopefully) and turned the first corner he could.

Dan checked the time and saw that he still had three minutes or so before he would usually leave the hallway, so he decided to run back to his room and drop his stuff off. He would then come back and casually walk past the man’s room again to see if he had noticed the note yet.

When Dan got back to the man’s hallway, he could tell that the man had definitely already seen the note, as he could hear the man singing with Dan’s lyrics.

“And I know it’s true, you’re just so alluring when you sing. But if I know you, I’ll love you so true! And you’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream!”

Dan stopped in the hallway as soon as he could hear it and bit his lip, trying (and failing) not to grin too widely. Apparently the man liked the note, which had Dan absolutely ecstatic. He wasn’t sure where to go from here, but figured another note might not be a bad idea.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Dan wrote more and more notes with short parodies of Disney songs that the man adopted as the lyrics he would sing for those songs. Eventually, Dan included little compliments outside of the lyrics and he stuck around a little closer to the room to wait for the man to find the note. It was risky, as the man almost always ran out of his room to look both ways down the hallway for his secret admirer, but it was perpetually worth it to hear the cute little giggle before the man would burst into song again, this time with Dan’s lyrics.

About a month after the first note, Dan fucked up.

He was bent over to place the note carefully on the floor and run off when the man started singing “Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride” from Lilo & Stitch, a song he hadn’t sung before while Dan was around.

“Take off your shirt, boy, I wanna see! Fingering me, the ocean blue. Daddy, if I had one wish, he’d come true.”

After a moment to process what he’d just heard, Dan absolutely lost it. It started out as a snort of laughter, but quickly exploded into a full-on hyena laugh that had Dan desperately grasping the doorframe to keep himself standing.

The man whipped his head around, eyes wide in surprise, to see Dan doubled over with laughter, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. The man’s pale skin darkened to a deep pink blush.

“Um, can I- can I help you?”

Dan hadn’t noticed the man turn around, so the voice startled him out of his laughing fit for a moment. That is, until he saw the man’s flushed face and sheepish expression, at which he began laughing hysterically once more.

“Uh…” the man said awkwardly. “Why are you laughing?”

That just added fuel to the fire. Clearly, the man felt uncomfortable and confused, probably even embarrassed, but all Dan could do was laugh.

“Do- do you really- hahahahaha- do you really think those- hahahaha- are the actual- hahahahahahaha- the actual lyrics?” Dan managed to get out.

“I’m- I’m sorry? I don’t really… I don’t really know what I said?” the poor, confused man said.

“Oh my god- hahahahahaha- okay, okay, hold on,” Dan said. He took in a few deep breaths that were interrupted by a few giggles, but eventually his breathing steadied enough to actually try responding. “You said- hehe, hooooo- you said, ‘Take off your shirt, boy, I wanna see!’ Ahahahahahaha!”

The man’s face now was all just a single shade of deep red. “Oh.”

“No, no no no that’s not all! Hahaha! You also said, ‘Fingering me, the ocean blue. Daddy-’ hahahahahaha,” Dan spat out through laughter. “‘Daddy, if I had one wish-’ hahahaha- ‘he’d come true!’ Ahahahahahaha!” By now, Dan had doubled over again and was hitting the doorframe.

The man awkwardly watched Dan falling apart. He seemed to have no idea how to proceed with this bizarre stranger laughing at him in his own doorway, so he just stood there with an increasingly embarrassed expression.

A few minutes later, Dan had sobered up enough to realize a few things. First and foremost, he had been discovered. For the last two months, he had effectively kept himself a secret from this man, but now he had most definitely been spotted. It was also entirely possible that the man had noticed the note Dan was still holding in his hand - a note that was written on the same bright green sticky note all the other notes had been written on. Dan not only might have been discovered as the secret admirer, but also as just some weirdo that happened to be passing by and stopped to laugh at this poor man’s misheard lyrics.

Second, Dan was laughing at the man he had been crushing on for two months. The man who now looked horrifically embarrassed and uncomfortable. Shit, Dan thought. Shit, shit, shit, you’ve ruined everything. He knows it’s you and he definitely thinks you’re mocking him. Pull yourself together, Howell!

“Um, I- I am so, so sorry for laughing at you like that. Oh my god,” Dan began. The apology was made a little less effective by the occasional giggle, but he was trying, dammit, and that had to count for something. Right? “That was totally out of line and you look really uncomfortable and embarrassed, so I’m really sorry.”

The man nodded. “I mean, I’m sure I’ll find this hilarious in a day or two. I can’t believe that’s what I was saying! There’s no way those are the actual lyrics.”

Dan giggled. “No, they’re not the actual lyrics. Not even close, really.”

Sighing, the man continued. “I usually say the wrong words to these songs, but that was a really bad one.”

“Yeah, kinda.” Dan swallowed another giggle, then remembered he was still holding the note.

Well, I guess now’s as good a time as any to tell him. I’m already talking to him. I’m relatively relaxed. This’ll never happen again. Seize the moment, Howell, he thought.

“Um, so. I wasn’t really planning on saying this right now, but here we are.” Dan fumbled for the right words, then decided actions might be easier. He raised the note in his hand so the man noticed it, then smiled as his eyes widened in surprise. “I’m the one who’s been giving you these things the last few weeks. I know it might seem like I’m making fun of you now, since I just laughed at you for, like, ten minutes, but I promise I’m not. Everything I’ve said in those notes has been true. I find everything about you incredibly endearing, especially your singing and your interpretation of the lyrics.”

The man just stared at Dan for a few seconds, mouth slightly open. “I- you- what?”

Dan giggled again, this time more from nerves than actual amusement. “Here’s your note for the week.” He handed it over to the man, who took it and looked down at it.

“This is- this is incredibly sweet. Thank you,” the man began, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “I’ve been wondering who it could be, and I saw you around a bit so I thought, you know, maybe it was you. But I wasn’t sure. I- uh- I had hoped it was you, though.” The man stared at the floor.

Now, it was Dan’s cheeks that were heating up. “You did?”

The man nodded.

Dan grinned. He stuck out his hand. “I’m Dan. It’s nice to actually meet you.”

“I’m Phil, and it’s nice to meet you, too,” Phil said. He shook Dan’s hand.

“Well, Phil, what would you say to getting a coffee with me sometime?” Dan said with a lot more confidence now than he probably would have been able to any other time in his life.

Phil grinned back. “I would love to, Dan.”

“Fantastic.”

They exchanged numbers and Dan promised to text, then turned to walk back to his own room.

“Oh, and Dan?”

Dan turned back to see Phil in the doorway to his room.

“Next time, come on in to do work instead of sitting on that old carpet, okay?”

Dan mock-gasped. “Phil, are you offering me front row tickets to the concert that is your weekly laundry performance?”

“I am indeed. I expect you there at 7pm on the dot.”

Dan smiled and nodded. “You can count on me.”

With that, he turned around and walked back to his room, giddy with anticipation for his upcoming date with Phil.

#phan #phanfic #phan fluff #university au #strangers to lovers #getting together

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phanfeed-ao3 · 7 years ago

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Three Black Words

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2zhJFML

by grammatically_correct_phan

Dan and Phil were each about to turn eighteen and get their soulmate tattoo, revealing to them the first words they’d hear their soulmate say. Phil was a bit concerned, considering he couldn’t hear at all. Dan stopped caring long ago. When the two bumped into each other and caused chaos on the streets of London, both their mindsets changed forever.

Words: 3094, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dan Howell, Phil Lester

Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dan Howell & Phil Lester

Additional Tags: Phan - Freeform, phanfic, Phanfiction, Phandom - Freeform, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff, Angst, Fluff, Phan AU, AU, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Deaf Phil Lester, Mute Dan Howell, Mentions of Murder, mentions of cutting, Mentions of self-harm, mentions of depression, Blood, PTSD, dnp, dap, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Daniel Howell - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, Amazingphil - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2zhJFML

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #danisnotonfire/amazingphil #dan howell/phil lester

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urfavepositive · 7 years ago

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SnowBaz au/headcanon where Simon is deaf and Baz learns ASL so he can talk to Simon and they eventually become (more than?) friends

lmao okay you gonna make me cry while writing this.

- Baz was a smart bloke, always ready for class and always participating, he’s sharp as a knife and teachers love his remarks; but his all time favorite thing to study are languages.

- He was raised as a bilingual kid, but later in life moved to another country, needing to learn another, complete foreign to him, language. That is when he realized his passion.

- By the age of fifteen he already spoke 5 languages and was now learning Latin, he had all the teachers impressed, and even the jocks of the school asked him to teach them new curse words (which Baz being Baz, he of course provided them with).

- When Baz comes in to class after a few weeks, he sees a new student, all bronze messy locks, sitting next to his unassigned assigned spot. He’s ready a book about physics, and Baz can already tell that he can get used to this cute boy.

- Baz puts his bag down and sits next to the boy, he says hello but it seems like the boy just ignores him, so he taps his shoulder, and when the boy looks up at him with his blue eyes, Baz knows he’s a goner.

- Baz says hi introducing himself, but he notices that the boy isn’t looking directly at him but at his lips, and when he introduces himself with a weird lisp using hand moments Baz realizes, he’s deaf.

- However that does not stop Baz.

- He starts writing Simon notes and texting him, sometimes directly talking to him but not much as Simon revealed that he’s kind of bad at reading lips.

- It was about 2am on a friday when Baz realized that he was falling in love with Simon Snow, he realized that as they were watching a movie together (yellow subtitles for snow), limbs tangled (???) under the blanket, and Baz ran his hands though Simon’s hair.

- When Simon fell asleep Baz took out his phone, he knew what language he wants to study next.

- At first Simon didn’t notice anything about Baz, but as the days moved on Si started noticing all the different hand movements that Baz started using, even when he just gave Si a note.

- It was one of those nights again when Baz nudged Simon’s shoulder, and he looked up at him. Baz sat him up and looked him in the eye smiling as he signed “I Love You” to Simon, and Baz swore that Si lit up brighter than a Christmas tree as he saw that, he smiled so wide and it seemed like he was about to cry, as he threw himself into Baz’s embrace.

- Baz was still learning but in a few weeks they talked in ASL, and as they lay down in the grass on a spring day, the flowers from the near by blossoming cherry tree flying in the wind, Simon turns to Baz, and decides to do something he was thinking about even before the night Baz told him he loved him. (hE FUCKING PUNCHED HIM jk)

- Baz looks at Simon, and Si’s cheeks are so red, but Simon closes his eyes and he kisses the boy laying next to him, and as he disconnects Baz just smiles and signs “Can we do this more often?” to which Simon happily nods.

LMAO OKAY SORRY IF THIS IS BAD IDK IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED BUT ENJOY!!!

send me more prompts and stuff i love writing (i do mostly snowbaz, phan, joshler, destiel, otayuri and viktuuri)

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writerstragedy-blog · 7 years ago

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Escorts

Phan!AU Where they're both in college and meet at a party. They didn’t actually want to be there.

All Fluff, No Angst

Phil scrolled through his timeline, scanning for something to pull him away from boredom. It was late, too late to be considered healthy, and he was laying on the sofa. After a very disappointing browse through tumblr, he closed his laptop with a huff and picked up his phone. 3:17am, all kinds of miscellaneous notifications from Twitter and Instagram. There wasn't much to do in the small apartment that he lived in, even during normal hours. Forcing himself to believe that he was hungry instead of bored, Phil heaved himself off the sofa and made for the kitchen. Two sandwiches later and he was still bored- erm, hungry. He sighed leaning back in his seat and looking around the poorly lit room. His friends had always told him how fun it would be when he finally moved away from his parents. How many parties there’d be, all the drinks he could have. It made Phil roll his eyes every time, thinking of all the drunken phone calls he’d receive around this time asking for an escort He walked over and checked his phone again, greeted with exactly what he expected; “4 Missed Calls From Louise.” He didn't mind giving his friends a ride, he just wished it didn't happen so regularly. He pressed Call Back and pressed the phone to his ear, listening to the ringing and then nearly going deaf due to Louise screaming into the phone. “Phillip! What are you doing right now?” She shouted into the phone that Phil was now holding at arms length. “Hi Louise, I’m in my apartment. Is it that time already?” Phil said at the phone, trying to not sound annoyed. Instead of responding, Louise broke into loud, hysterical laughter. “I STARTED NODDING AS IF I COULD SEE YOU< BUT THEN I REMEMBERED YOU’RE IN THE PHONE!!!” She explained, louder than before. Phil smiled, because its 4am and everything's funny at 4am. “Okay, Louise, where are you?” Phil asked, hearing cheering and shouting on the other line. She gave him the address, then he pulled on some shoes, and was off. It’s not that he needed a car, everything was pretty close by and people just needed help walking to their houses. It was a peaceful night in London and the fear of being murdered was at a minimum. Phil took a deep breath as he walked along the road, next to the pavement. After ten minutes, he reached the house; which was glowing with bright blue and purple from the inside. He could hear loud music, and lots of people: This was going to fucking suck. He entered the home, texting Louise to let her know he’d arrived and then began his search for her. He was about 3 minutes into the search when he reached the living room. A young man was stood in the center of the room, people surrounded him as he chugged vodka out of the bottle. Everyone was cheering, and the guy smiled at the attention, scanned the room as he finished, and locked eyes with Phil. Phil looked down, incredibly embarrassed, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. He could feel the guy staring at him so he made an attempt to move out of eyesight, bumping into some other drunk person and stumbling backwards. Great. He could hear giggling coming from where the guy was, the thought of that guy laughing at him made Phil even more upset, not daring to look over in that direction. “PHil!” Louise was wrapping an arm around his shoulder, drink in hand. “Thanks so much for this, but I wanted to tell you. I got Matt to come over and I’m going home with him!” Louise explained, smiling over at Matt. Phil sighed, trying not to get angry. That’s when he looked back over and- holy fuck the guy was staring at him still. Phil stared back at him, cocking his eyebrow and narrowing his eyes slightly. The guy smiled confidently, and his stare intensified. Now they were having a staring contest. Phil decided he was going to win this. He had a good chance of it too, that is until Louise interrupted the situation. “Phil!” She yelled, moving herself into his view. Shit, he blinked. “What? Oh, yeah, okay, that’s fine Louise, I’m not mad,” He answered and watched as she walked over to Matt. When he looked back over to where the guy was, he was disappointment to see he wasn't there. He turned to leave and there he was. “I won,” the guy said, startling Phil to a point where he almost fell over. The guy laughed, placing his hands on both of Phil’s shoulders as if he couldn't stand on his own. It was weird, but Phil didn't move away. “Hi, My name is Daniel,” He said, letting his hands linger on Phil's shoulders for a tad longer before returning them to his sides. After a very obvious scan of Phil’s body, He added “But you can call me Dan.” Phil smiled, staring at this really attractive stranger in front of him. “Hey, I’m Phil,” He replied sweetly. It was really loud in the house and Phil was itching to get out of here. Dan was pulled away by one of the people he must have come here with, so Phil took his chance. “That sucks,” He said as he left, realizing he will probably never meet Dan again. He was clear down the street when he heard something behind him. “PHHHIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!” Dan screamed from the house. Phil started laughing as Dan broke into a dead sprint to get to him. “Was that really necessary?” Phil asked as the red-faced Dan arrived. “Entirely! I didn't get your number, and I have full intention to talk to you more than just an introduction,” Dan explained in between breaths and pulling out his phone. They exchanged numbers, Phil laughing at Dan’s inability to remember the numbers he recited. “so..I hope to see you again?” Dan said, rocking back and forth on his feet. I nodded and he smiled. “I’d walk you home, but the only reason I came here was cause my friends said they needed an escort. things kinda..got out of control,” He explained, giggling. Phil laughed, refusing to mention that’s the EXACT reason he came here too. “Bye, Dan,” Phil said before hesitating. “Uh, whats wrong? Leave something in the house?” Dan asked, concerned. “No, its not that, I just- Can I kiss you?” Phil asked, squeezing his eyes shut and bracing for Dan’s reaction. The reaction was soft lips placed on his own. They were kissing. Phil smiled as he wrapped his arms around Dan’s neck. Not so bad for a stranger.

The end

(Please don’t kiss random strangers that you meet at parties at 4am unless they're really cute. Uh, kay, PROTIP. VERY BAD PROTIP.)

#phan #phanfiction #phil lester #daniel howell

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em44owls · 8 years ago

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PhanFic/Brendon SHiTT

read between the lines (i will if you will)- “Skype conversations between Dan and Phil, leading up to their first meeting. 2009!Phan. Prepare for fluff.” (72580 words) 19/19

metamorphosis- “Once upon a time, Dan Howell and Phil Lester were best friends. They did everything together, from hanging out at each other’s house, to sitting next to each other at school - but one day, Dan was torn away from Phil by none other than Phil himself. Five years on, and Dan still doesn’t know why his best friend threw Dan away. Was it the fault of the bullies who relentlessly picked on Phil, or was it Dan himself? Dan just didn’t know. So when a chance to protect Phil and get his best friend back arises, Dan jumps on it in a heartbeat, and uses his own confidence to boost Phil’s just enough to make the bullies back away.” (28907 words) 10/10

porcelain fists- “dan fulfills phil's oldest fantasy” {lot of smut} (3346 words)

so, soo pretty- “if you’re too hot why are you wearing a sweater?” if i prefer to just wear underwear and a hoodie it’s my choice and you should respect it.” (1061 words)

Lil D & Big P- “When they become Youtube flops, Dan and Phil decide to embark on another career. But how will they make sure this career stays afloat?” (1198 words)

Rose Colored Boy- “Dan's a struggling piano player trying to make his way through life, Phil works as a director at his brothers record label.” (11639 words) 6/?

Not a Bottom- “Pastel!Dan tries topping for the first time.” (3134 words)

Nights With You- “One night they decide to take whatever they have a step further and end up in Dan's bedroom where Phil finds something he didn't really expect at all.” (1664 words)

Discovered Outlet- “Dan discovers he has a new talent - drawing. He puts a unique spin on it, and Phil finds out.” (7187 words)

‘Fuck you’ - ‘I don’t understand’- “Soulmate AU where the first words your soulmate says to you are on your wrist- person A is worried that person B won’t have any words because A is mute/worried they won’t hear the words because they’re deaf” (1040 words)

PSL- “phil tries something in bed but it doesn't go as well as he planned.” (1100 words)

An Arranged Marriage- “Dan and Phil are forced to marry each other, even though they've never met. Differing life experiences leave the boys unsure of how this could possibly work.” (5952 words)

Already Read../

In which Phil has too many sticky notes and Dan likes to shout memes in Biology class- “Deliberately, precariously, Phil leans forward across his desk and attaches the note to the back of Dan’s omnipresent black hoodie. Dan makes no acknowledgement of Phil’s existence, as usual.” (2698 words)

‘Til We’re Grey Old- “Phil thinks Valentine’s Day is dumb. It’s the one day a year you are supposed to treat your loved one like they are the literal sun. He loves Dan 24/7, so why does the world expect him to make it special on February 14th?” (1808 words)

Brendon’s Egg- “Brendon Urie is a regular married man who lays eggs. One day, Ryan accidentally fertilizes one. After a bit of stress and heartache, they make the decision to raise the child together. The events that follow can only be described as adorable, shocking, and quite possibly unholy.” (10285 words)

Just breathe now- “(Dan comes down with the stomach flu in the middle of the night. Phil cares for him.)” (4714 words)

Babygirl- “Dan is an innocent virgin and Phil is the bad-boy who likes to make him flustered.” (4045 words)

Not Quite Vanilla- “Dan wants to bring a little more passion into his and Phil’s sex life.” (1896 words)

Day of the Dan- "Dan realises that everyone else is … also called Dan.” (1728 words)

First Time- “Dan and Phil’s first time.” (1479 words)

You don’t know me (but I want you to)- “the one were Punk!Phil asks Pastel!Dan out on a date and Dan says no, but Phil is adamant at making Dan change his mind.” (10190 words)

Innocent- 'I kinda want a Phan fic where Dan and Phil are 11 and 12 and they like do inappropriate shit.' (1577 words)

Birthday Sex- “The��rules are pretty simple.Whoever's birthday it is gets whatever they want, no questions asked.” (233799 words) 12/12

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georgiabread · 8 years ago

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falling for you ; phan | chapter thirty five

Full summary ; Dan Howell is dead. Well, sort of. He’s a guardian angel, forced to protect only one human, and that human is Cat. But when he accompanies Cat to school, he can’t help but be intrigued by the broken boy with the black hair who sits by the window in class and disappears at lunch times. Dan realises this boy needs more protection than Cat will ever need, so he takes on human form to save him. But soon he finds himself falling in love, which is something he definitely can’t do. Dan Howell is an angel, and he’s falling for Phil.

Tags ; highschool!phan, teenage!phan, plantboy!phil, spaceboy!dan, angel!dan, phan, phan au, phan fluff, phan angst, chaptered

TWs ; bullying, violence, mentions of self-harm, mentions of death/suicide, depression, panic attacks, physical and verbal abuse, homophobia, foul language and supernatural themes.

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"And I don't want to let this go, I don't want to lose control, I just want to see the stars with you—"

dan ;

True to Phil's words, five minutes did pass before the black-haired boy arrived – but the rate at which the seconds dragged on made it seem like 5 hours. Dan focused on taking calming breaths as he waited, resting his head on his arms and shutting his eyes. He needed to relax. Regulate his breathing and heartbeat. But it wasn't fucking working. Every deep breath he took stammered and broke, every time he blinked away his tears new ones would jump in, stinging his eyes. Dan bit down hard on his bottom lip and looked up. The park had been overrun with shadows in the time he was gone, so dark it seemed they were flooding his own vision, creating an illusion of total blackness. It was terrifying.

Dan could feel it building in his chest as it usually did. The panic, the terror, crawling through his body like an uncontrollable disease. It yanked his intestines into tight knots, crushed and compressed his lungs until there was no air left to breathe, closed over his throat till it felt as if hands were wrapping around it and squeezing. His vision clouded over, distorting the world around him but not like before. Don't cry, he told himself desperately. If you do, you'll fucking suffocate. He reached up to wipe at his eyes, but the movement in his shoulder sent spasms jolting under his skin and he grimaced.

Even though the pain in his back had faded to a dull ache, he still felt a vicious jab every time he moved. By now the blood had glued his jumper to his wounds, and the wool caught on the torn skin every now and then. He had to remove it. But he couldn't. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't fucking breathe.

But he tried to. Dan spat out a strangled sob and braced his hands gently against the bark. Breathe, he told himself. Just breathe. In and out. I swear to god, just breathe. The brown-haired boy shut his eyes and sucked air through his nose, willing his heart to slow down and the panic to unravel itself from around his gut. Slowly, painfully, he began to gain control of his terror, forcing it away with deep, lingering breaths and holding steady against the ground. Grounding himself.

Finally, he slumped into the bark with a wince, sucking in his lips as he attempted to suppress another sob. But then he had nothing else to distract him from his thoughts, and they swamped his mind.

He was going to hell. That one sentence tumbled about in his brain, unable to be contained. You're going to hell you're going to hell you're going to hell.

Sure, it might be a while before that, but Dan almost panicked again simply knowing it was inevitable.

He kept remembering the forlorn look in the Keeper's dark eyes. Did Dan really mean that much to him? Would he ever see him again? Dan doubted both heavily. The Keeper was stoic and emotionless, and once again, Dan was going to hell when he died. His business with the mysterious man had come to an end, he was sure of it.

And Phil...Dan was stuck back on Earth until death, but would he ever make things right with his best friend? He wanted to, god he wanted to so bad. But Phil had fought him, been abandoned by him, seen him with wings protruding unnaturally from his back. Dan wouldn't blame him if the dark-haired boy wanted nothing more to do with him – even feared him.

and almost broke down then and there, burying his face into his arms. For now, it seemed Phil wasn't too terrified of him.

"Dan? Dan, oh my god."

Dan glanced up and caught sight of the ghostly hue of Phil's cheeks, the horror shimmering behind his eyes as he entered the gloomy park. He absorbed Dan's pitiful form slumped in the dirt, scanning over his face and arms and then faltering a bit when he noticed the state of Dan's back.

Dan wanted to cry. "P-Phil," he croaked, the single word stumbling in his throat.

Phil's footsteps slowed as he reached the low barrier encircling the play equipment, and Dan noticed how hesitant he was to move closer. It hurt, just a little. Phil didn't meet his eyes when he blurted, "You...you're bleeding."

Dan sniffed and nodded, raising his eyebrows as he looked up at Phil. Even something as small as that sent agony shooting from his wounds. "I think I've noticed. I'm also in a lot of p-pain," he muttered bitterly.

"What happened?" Phil asked quietly. He sounded like the answer to that question was the last thing he wanted to know. Dan wondered if begging him to come here had been the right idea.

He simply shrugged, the pain clearly showing on his face. Then he blurted an empty laugh, wiped his nose and mumbled, "I got what was coming for me."

Phil remained still and speechless, unsure how to respond. "Dan, I don't..."

"F-Forget it. I don't expect you to understand, Phil," Dan interrupted, sounding choked up as he looked away.

"Wait," Phil breathed suddenly, almost deaf to Dan's words. "Your w-wings...they... suddenly turning his vision hazy again as Phil stared into his own tired brown eyes.

Dan looked down, eyelids fluttering shut. He cursed the moisture that trickled onto his cheeks, unable to hold back the waves of sorrow and hopelessness crashing against the dam he'd built to keep them in. He couldn't continue. He couldn't keep hiding. Here he was, lying on the ground in the dead of night, his wings just having been wrenched from his very skin. And all he wanted was to tell Phil everything.

All he wanted was for Phil to hold him again.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, afraid to look up in case the black-haired boy looked at him with disgust, moved away, left him.

But instead Phil sighed shakily and stepped forward, gently lowering to the ground and resting two fingers against Dan's jaw. He tilted his head upwards, and Dan reluctantly opened his eyes, chin wobbling as he saw the sadness pulling on Phil's face. Phil swallowed, wordlessly wiping the tears from Dan's cheeks with his thumbs before placing their foreheads together. "It's okay," he whispered.

Dan had been falling for a long time now. But just as the words left Phil's lips, he hit the ground. A wet sob tore from his throat and the dam broke, tears spilling from his eyes as Phil gathered him into his arms, surrounding him with warmth and thereness and love. Dan took no notice as pain erupted fiercely from his injuries. He He sobbed into Phil's chest, squeezing the material into his fists as if that jumper could somehow ground him to reality.

Phil held him tight and secure, burying his nose into Dan's hair and simply letting the brown-haired boy cry. He was still bewildered and slightly scared, but Dan needed him, and so Phil was there. And that was all he had to be. He made sure to avoid the gashes he'd finally recognised under Dan's shirt as he gently drew his fingers up and down his back, hoping to god he wasn't hurting him in any way.

Dan could taste salt on his lips and a lump had been shoved down his throat and he could barely see as his eyelids grew puffy, but he didn't care. He didn't care for the stuttering in his breath when he gasped for air. He didn't care that he sounded ugly and unpleasant with snot running from his nose. Phil hadn't left him. Phil was here, hugging him and making him feel safe and that was all that mattered. He was here. And Dan had to tell him, he had to explain, Phil had to know who – what he had been. "Ph-Phil, I'm s-so-sorry," he blubbered, now almost curled in the boy's lap. "I – I'm – I need to...because – you – I'm sorry, I–"

"No, no, Dan, stop. It's okay," Phil interrupted softly, silencing him with a firm kiss to his hair. "Everything's okay. Don't speak. Tell me later. It's alright."

"It's not, Phil...I love you," Dan sobbed. "I love you s-so much. And I have to...t-tell you...everything."

"No, you don't. You don't. I don't care, I still – I still love you too, Dan. I never stopped loving you." Phil brushed his fingers through Dan's hair and gently pulled away only to take Dan's face his hands.

Dan bit his bottom lip, staring at his best friend through hazy tears and feeling a mixture of relief and despair and guilt tugging at his stomach. His fingers lifted to curl around Phil's arms, and he wasn't sure whether to kiss him or keep crying or just blurt all that was trapped in his mind.

Gazing at Dan with a mountain of care and affection, Phil moved closer until their noses were inches apart and sniffled a bit. "Dan, I...I don't know what's going on with you right now, but you still mean everything to me and I think we should get you home before we try and figure all this out, okay?" he told him.

"But–" Dan started quietly.

"Shh. You need rest, and a few bandages. Your back is a bloody mess, no pun intended."

For a moment they both chuckled softly, a bit of warmth flickering to life in Dan's heart. Phil was right, a part of him knew. The pain in his back continued to sear him the more he moved, and he didn't want to die of blood-loss now. He wasn't ready to go to hell just yet.

Dan's sniffle seemed to bounce off the trees and rusted play equipment as he blearily rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tear streaks. Phil's hands fell away, but Dan only had time to be disappointed for one second before the dark-haired boy knitted their fingers together, Dan's cold and Phil's warm. It seemed years since Dan had held his hand; he relished in the familiar feeling that sent scattered pinpricks up his arm. But it saddened him as well, only slightly. How had he let the tension between them fester for so long that he was happy simply to hold Phil's hand?

"Hey." Dan glanced up at the softness in Phil's tone. "It's gonna be alright. I think it's time we head back to my place and fix you up, how does that sound?" Phil asked.

Dan let out a small sigh, before perking up when a thought occurred to him. "What about–?"

"Stephen's gone out," Phil cut in. "He even called Mum – he won't be back until sometime tomorrow."

"Okay," Dan whispered, and then nodded. "Yeah, okay, that's good."

Phil remained silent for a moment before breathing out, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to Dan's hairline. "Come on. I'll help you stand. We're just going to take small steps to the car, okay?"

"Okay," Dan said again, steeling himself for the pain he was about to feel.

Sure enough, he felt it when Phil steadied his arm under his shoulders and gradually lifted Dan to his feet. Dan couldn't help but flop a little against the boy as he clung to his waist, squeezing his eyes shut to try and ward off the flames surging through his back. ear like the beat of a butterfly's wings, in sync with the fluttering of his heart. Simple whispers of, "You're doing wonderful, Dan," or, "Nearly there," or, "Everything's gonna be alright," were enough to send his emotions into a frenzy.

Phil still cared. After everything, he still cared.

They reached the car. Dan slumped forward and rested his arms on the roof of the old white Toyota, lungs heaving and eyes closing for a moment. He felt Phil's hand on his shoulder, rubbing soothing circles over the material there.

"Dan," Phil mumbled, "we need to get you in the car."

"I know, I know." As soon as Dan straightened a little, Phil's hands were there to guide him. It took a little manoeuvring, but eventually he was hunched in the passenger seat, leaning forward to stop his gashes from brushing up against the cracked leather. The driver's door thudded shut. Phil shoved his keys into the ignition, fumbling a bit. Dan closed his eyes again, mind whirring like the engine of the car.

...How much blood had he lost in the time between the removal of his wings and now? He must've spent heaps – that would explain the droopiness of his eyelids, the effort it took just to fill his lungs with a little air. His arms felt like limp bodies, dangling off his larger one. So what would happen to him? Would he need to go to the hospital? God, how would he explain his wounds to the doctors without getting shipped off to the government to be experimented on? Dan shuddered at the thought. He couldn't tell anyone. At least, no one but Phil.

Dan tried to clear his mind, tuning in only to the thrum of the engine and Phil's quiet breathing. Really, all he wanted was to sleep. Maybe he should. Maybe it would only be a few minutes of rest, but it would be something, right?

The gentle murmurs of noise around him faded, and suddenly he was aware of nothing.

"...can't carry you when you're asleep, Dan, come on. Wake up. You fell asleep literally two minutes from my house, you spork..."

Dan groaned a little, stirring in his sleep to the exasperated mutterings of Phil Lester as the guy tried to shift him gently out of the car. It took him a few moments to distinguish where he was, glancing groggily at the dashboard in front of him, Phil awkwardly leaning over him and the driveway the car was parked in. "Um...wait," Dan mumbled, whacking Phil's hands away and moving around himself. Amazingly, his wounds had cooled down slightly, so it didn't feel like his back had fallen into the pits of hell every time he shifted a muscle.

"You good?" Phil asked, stepping back a bit as Dan swung his legs over and out onto the path. "Here, lean on me again. God, you're actually quite pale. Let's get inside."

After a few struggles and a lot of Dan acting like a wobbly drunkard, they made it to the front door of Phil's house. Dan could see lights on through the curtains, and suddenly frowned. He didn't know what time it was.

At last the door was opened, and a warm glow spilled out onto the unreadable welcome mat. Dan peered inside, frowning at the stillness of the house.

"Mum's out as well, by the way," Phil said, answering his unspoken questions. "Gone to...see a friend or something. She'll be back later. And Daisy's at a sleepover I think."

Dan only frowned harder. "So, you're just left here? By yourself?" he asked worriedly.

"It's fine, Dan," Phil replied, glancing down at him. "I prefer being alone here, really."

Dan didn't believe him, sighing softly.

"Dan, I do," Phil insisted. "Let's just get you upstairs to the bathroom, okay?"

Several moments later Dan found himself seated precariously on the edge of the bath, eyes glued to the floor and heart palpitating at the thought of finally having to explain himself to Phil. His fingers quivered in his lap as the dark-haired boy swung the bathroom door shut.

"Okay Dan," Phil started, walking towards him. "I'm gonna take off your jumper so I can see those gashes, so could you turn around for me?"

Dan nodded and did as he was told, moving so his feet flattened out against the bottom of the bath. He sucked on his lower lip as Phil placed his fingers under the thin material and slowly peeled the jumper off his back; Dan's knuckles turned white and blotchy gripping the side of the bath when threads of wool came loose from the torn skin. Eventually the gashes were fully exposed and Dan didn't miss the sharp intake of breath behind him. Phil pulled his jumper all the way off and discarded it to one side.

"Shit," Phil muttered. Dan felt his fingers ghosting over his skin. "These cuts are quite deep. And the skin is so red. I'll need to clean the blood off, but...I think we should take you to the hospital just to be safe–"

"No," Dan snapped immediately, whipping his head around to glare at Phil. "I can't go there. Please, don't make me go. I...I can't..." He trailed off and lowered his head, hurriedly blinking back tears.

There was a pause, and then the bath creaked as Phil tentatively sat beside him, resting a hand on his arm. "Dan..." he said softly, waiting until the boy met his eyes before he continued. "...Why don't you want to go? What happened?"

Staring into those swirling pools of blue, Dan found he couldn't tell him. The words lingered on his tongue, but he simply would not open his mouth. Because Phil wasn't just asking how he'd received his wounds – he was asking what had happened to him, to both of them...what had happened for them to reach this point. Dan glanced away, heart thudding heavily in his chest.

Phil sighed, his eyes still boring into Dan's face even when the boy wouldn't look at him. "You know you'll have to tell me sometime," he said, voicing Dan's thoughts. The pad of his thumb swirled over Dan's skin.

"I know," Dan whispered weakly. And that was it.

Through his peripherals, he saw Phil stand and heard water gushing into the sink seconds later. Phil was right. He couldn't keep hiding this. His best friend deserved the whole truth – real and unadulterated.

"I'm just washing off the blood now," Phil told him, before pressing a warm, wet towel carefully against his skin. "This might hurt a bit."

It did, but Dan swallowed it and refused to let it show on his face as Phil scrubbed softly around his gashes. The bathroom was silent, save for the squelch of the towel every now and then. But it wasn't a comfortable silence. It was stifling and uneasy, a thundercloud drooping above them ready to break open.

Where would he even start? With his death, or all the way back to his old life? Or what if he worked his way back from now? Dan had no idea how to tell this story to Phil, but he wanted to now, at least to make things less awkward between them. He let out a gentle breath, afraid to make the slightest of noises, and cursed how hyperaware he was of Phil's fingers pressed against his bare skin as the boy ran the towel slowly down his back.

"Um, so, medical assessment," Phil uttered after a while. "The bleeding seems to have slowed, and I'm not a doctor but I don't think you'll need stitches. Just a few bandages and some ointment."

Dan frowned, incredulous, wondering how deep his wings really had been buried under his skin. "You sure I won't need them?" he asked.

"Well...I can't see any bone or muscle, and that's usually when you need stitches. Even so..."

"I'm not going to the hospital."

"Dan, it's okay. I won't take you." Phil turned away and rummaged through the cabinets below the sink, uncovering a few extra-large Band-Aids, some gauze and an antibiotic ointment.

Phil didn't warn him when he started applying the antibiotic to his gashes, and its sudden sting was malicious. Dan gritted his teeth and braced himself against the bath again, taking in slow breaths as he gradually grew used to the burn. "I'm sorry you have to do all this..." he blurted as Phil started plastering on the first Band-Aid on one of his cuts

"Don't be silly," Phil said softly. He smoothed the bandage over his torn skin. "You can't even reach your back, let alone move properly. And besides, this is a 'want to' thing, not a 'have to'."

The words brought a gentle pink hue to Dan's cheeks – still, he didn't relent. "But...but I forced you to come and drag me here and you don't even know what's going on. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this t-to happen."

Dan heard a small sigh from Phil and the tear of another Band-Aid. "I know you didn't," Phil replied simply as he set to work on the second gash. "But you're my best friend. I think best friends are always supposed to be there for each other, even when...you know...one of them is lying in a park at night with wounds in their back that look suspiciously like wing holes."

Dan could feel his gaze burning into the back of his head, and a different kind of blush settled on his cheeks. He glanced down to his lap. "Yeah...well, thank you."

A moment of silence passed before Phil sighed again, expecting some kind of explanation this time but not getting one. He started unravelling a roll of gauze. "I just hope things will be okay for you after this," he murmured.

Dan swiped his tongue over his chapped lips. "So do I."

They didn't speak again until Phil had wound his chest in the dressing, packing it tightly against his gashes and holding the end down with a stripe of tape. Ten minutes later Dan was sinking into a chair at the dining table, huddled in Phil's green hoodie and hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate. And Phil was sitting down right beside him.

The dining room had been stuffed with cotton balls. The silence was hot and suffocating, tension suspended above them like rain clouds ready to burst. Dan sat motionless, fully invested in the gently rippling liquid in his mug with no intent of drinking it as of that moment. His thoughts were like that too – following one after the other in a continuous circle, stretching on with no clear result. He was terrified. That was just it. Fear engulfed him like a tidal wave, drowning out his words and common sense. Phil had to know. Dan couldn't tell him. So he simply sat there, pretending to ignore Phil's impatient gaze, thumb swirling over the ceramic handle of his cup. Because there was so absolutely no way he could explain things without scaring his best friend, or worse. Even when Phil finally broke the silence, Dan still avoided the topic.

"Dan, I'm not gonna sit here all night waiting for you to tell me what the fuck is going on," Phil muttered eventually, spite laced through his words.

Dan flinched at the swear word he used, fingers tightening around the mug. The hot chocolate trembled within it, and he continued to stare, searching for a response in the wrinkles of the liquid cocoa. "Why did you have Advil on you when I found you in the alley?" he blurted after a while, turning his head to meet the startled look in Phil's eyes. He didn't want to know the answer.

Lungs heavily deflating, Phil glanced away at his own mug, falling quiet. Dan watched him carefully, desperate for yet dreading what the boy would say next. "Why the hell do you think?" Phil muttered.

"Phil–" Dan started.

"I was going to overdose, alright?" Phil snapped, causing Dan to jump as he whirled around violently in his chair. "Stephen came home and told me to kill myself, so that's just what I was gonna do. I thought – I thought, you know, my shitty hideout in the forest would be an alright place to go. But instead life decides to fuck me over and let Finn and everyone else beat me to death. That is, until you showed up, used the fucking force on them and grew wings. And now – now I just wish I'd...swallowed the fucking p-pills in the b-b-bathroom..."

Dan's heart tore open He blinked away the sting in his own eyes and shuffled his chair closer to the boy, before wrapping his arms around him and pushing Phil's face into his shoulder. Phil's fragile frame shuddered with sobs as he crumbled in Dan's arms. The hoodie was quickly soaked but Dan didn't care, knowing he just needed to hold his best friend and never let go. He dug his nose into Phil's hair and rubbed patterns on Phil's back, trying not to think of him lying lifeless on a bathroom floor. By the time Phil had calmed down enough for Dan to talk, their hot chocolates had gone cold.

"I'm sorry," Dan murmured as Phil tightened his arms around his waist. "I'm sorry for cutting you off and confusing you and being such a shitty person and – and making you feel like you had to do this. But you don't, Phil. God, don't you ever for a second think about ending it like that because you're worth so much more than you realise and I want you to grow old." With me, he thought. "And I need you. I can't even think about you...d-doing that, because you're everything to me and if you were gone, all of this would be for nothing."

Phil had remained silent throughout the small speech, but now he sniffed and raised his head, frowning at Dan. "What do you mean?" he asked nervously. "What would be for nothing?"

Staring into Phil's eyes after hearing those words, Dan thought the terror would consume him once again because finally, he knew the time had come. But all he felt was a sense of tranquility as he sighed and intertwined his fingers with Phil's before looking into his eyes. And then he opened his mouth.

#highschool!phan #teenage!phan #plantboy!phil #spaceboy!dan #angel!dan #phan #phan au #phan fluff #phan angst #chaptered #dan and phil #phanfiction

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bookwormscififan · 9 months ago

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Consolation

Read on AO3!

Concept art

A/N: A little thing for my deaf Jackie AU, where Phan finds out about Jackie's deafness and promises to keep him safe.

Phantom watched the hero work, admiring the way his muscles moved under his clothes. He eyed the graceful curve of his back as he backflipped over an enemy, eyes focused as he landed perfectly and immediately got into a fighting stance.

“I think I’m in love,” Phantom sighed as he laid on the sofa, throwing his legs into Mare’s lap with a dramatic groan. “I think I’m in love, and I’m sure he doesn’t even know I exist.” He dropped his arm over his eyes, lifting it to peer at Mare when his brother hummed and gently nudged his legs away.

“It’s Jackie, right?” He smirked at Phantom’s silence, barely dodging being jabbed in the ribs with a toe and letting out a soft chuckle. “He knows you exist, idiot. Mad’s noticed Jackie never stops talking about you. Just ask him out already.” He laughed when he turned to see Phantom glaring at him with a bright red face, turning off his phone and getting off the sofa before Phantom could kick him off.

It took several attempts, a few dumb songs tossed in the trash, and a painful attempt at playing the helpless citizen, but eventually Jackie agreed to a date with Phantom. He’d kicked Mare out of the apartment for the night, putting on his best clothes and fidgeting anxiously while he waited for Jackie to arrive.

Phantom nearly jumped out of his skin when the knock sounded at the door, pulling it open and meeting the gaze of a very flustered Jackie, a miserable-looking bouquet of flowers in his hand.

“Am I late? I’m so sorry, I completely forgot the address and had to go ask Chase—” he stopped as Phantom pulled him inside, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug before releasing him. “Not quite the welcome I was expecting, but not unwelcome,” he commented, offering Phantom the flowers.

“Not late, just on time,” Phantom said, chuckling awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck. “Would you like to go out for dinner, or stay here? I’m not the greatest chef, but Mare always cooks extras, so I’m sure we can find—”

“Phan, slow down, take a breath,” Jackie laughed, resting a hand on Phantom’s shoulder to stop his ramble. “I’m fine to do whatever you want me to do. Leftovers for dinner sounds great. Take me to the kitchen.”

“You do realise Jackie’s deaf?” Mad’s question made Phantom sit upright, looking at the man curled into Mare’s side. “He’s only got about 15% of his hearing, needs aids to help him hear everything. The doctors asked me to help, and I’m pretty sure Anti added some kind of spark to it to amplify the gain.” Mad blinked at Phantom’s blank face, looking up at Mare before returning to Phantom.

“Did you not know?”

“I thought he was just a bad listener,” Phantom whispered, feeling a coldness settle in the pit of his stomach. “Is he alright? Like, does he think I wouldn’t like him because of that?” He bit his lip as he thought back over his time with Jackie, the ways Phantom had joked about certain things, wondering if he’d said something to offend Jackie that led to his being here with Mare and Mad asking why Jackie hadn’t returned his calls.

“Mare, your brother’s an idiot,” Mad stated, standing and heading out of the living room. “I need to get some prototypes set up for some equipment.” Rolling his eyes at Phantom, he left the room, giving Mare time to talk to his twin alone.

“You need to talk to Jackie,” Mare started after a deep sigh, setting his book aside. “You need to go to him, and talk to him. Explain that you didn’t know about his deafness, tell him how you feel. There really isn’t anything we can do to help you in this.”

“I know,” Phantom replied, lowering his head. “Do you think he’ll be angry?”

----

It was four days before Phantom finally plucked up enough courage to visit Jackie. With a shaking hand, he knocked on the door, pulling out his phone and sending the hero a short message: I’m at your front door. Can we talk?

The door opened to reveal Jackie in an oversized grey hoodie, eyes puffy from crying and hair a greasy mess atop his head. In his free hand he held a tissue crunched into a ball from rubbing at his eyes, and he looked at Phantom with pure heartbroken grief that made Phantom want to hold him.

“Come in.” His voice was hoarse, croaky implying he had been crying for a while. “Chase usually stays here with me to help out, but he’s out with Marvin at the moment.” Shuffling into the kitchen, Jackie turned on the kettle and leaned against the bench, looking at Phantom with a pout.

“Jackie, I want to apologise,” Phantom started, making sure to shape the words properly when he noticed Jackie looking at his mouth. Lip reading. Does he not have his aids in? “I’m such an idiot. I didn’t realise you were… you had… I’m so dumb and thought you didn’t listen properly.”

“Technically, you’re right,” Jackie chuckled, pouring hot water into two mugs to make coffee. “I don’t listen properly, but that is because I can’t hear much. And I’ve been an idiot, too. I didn’t wear my aids around you because I was afraid that you’d dump me.”

“Dump you?” Phantom stared at Jackie, incredulous. “Why would I dump you for an impairment? If you’d told me, I would have stopped trying to serenade you, and gone with something else, like a joke.”

“Not many people like finding out that the city’s greatest hero’s deaf,” Jackie said bitterly, handing Phantom his mug and hugging himself. “I was scared, because I feel so deeply for you, and I wouldn’t have been able to cope if you’d left.”

“Jackie…” Phantom set his coffee aside, pulling Jackie into a tight embrace. Gently he placed his hands on Jackie’s ears, summoning a small bit of his power so that Jackie could hear his next words. “I would never leave you, because I love you far too much to ever let you go.”

He moved his hands when a sob rattled through Jackie, the hero falling to his knees and holding Phantom tightly, pressing his face into his vest as fresh tears began to fall. Phantom held Jackie back, ensuring he was aware of his presence.

“I know you,” he began, taking advantage of the last seconds of power to make an oath to Jackie. “I understand you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure you’re safe with me.” Gently moving Jackie, Phantom knelt in front of him, hands cupping his cheeks as he lifted his face to look at him. “I love you, Jackie. I love everything about you.”

Jackie let out one final choked sob before leaning forward to kiss Phantom, hands curling in his shirt to hold him tightly.

-------------

@iamvegorott @brokentimewatch

#writing #fanfiction #nwtb fanfiction #jacksepticeye fanfiction #phantomhero #background madmare #fluff #slight angst

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phanfictioncatalogue · 5 years ago

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Sign Language Masterlist

Links last checked: September 19, 2024

But It Takes Someone To Come Around To Show You How (ao3) - Cutaehyung

Summary: Phan Mute Soulmate AU. Dan is born mute into a world where once in everyone's life your soulmate will say the specific words that are tattooed onto your body, and bring you together. These words will save your life in more ways than imaginable. Whilst Dan resigns himself to the fact he will never have a soulmate, fate has different ideas...

For Fun - kittycatriona

Summary: Dan is deaf and possibly lonely, and Phil decides to learn sign language so maybe he’ll be a little less lonely.

'Fuck You' - 'I Don't Understand' (ao3) - Ghost_of_FCV

Summary: Dan's (selectively) mute, one of the two worst things in the world. Where soulmates' first words are written on each other's wrists, being mute was a disaster.

But still, there's no rule saying first words had to be spoken.

Listen - adorkablephil

Summary: Phil is a successful YouTuber, and Dan is a fan desperate for attention. Sounds like 2009, right? Except Phil is Deaf.

Love is Blind (ao3) - counting2fifteen

Summary: Phil is deaf and turns off his hearing aids whenever Dan tries to argue with him, so Dan learns sign langauge.

Photography has Nothing to do with Cameras - crescendohowell

Summary: Dan gets transferred into Phil’s photo class and while asking Dan about how to use photoshop, Phil realises that Dan knows sign language.

Resistance - amazingdanielhowell

Summary: Dan moved up to Manchester after his already successful parents got a promotion and moved to be closer to work. Dan is lonely seeing as his parents are always too busy for him. Since birth, he’s had a life plan that he is to follow exactly, though he wants to create his own future. He meets a really quiet kid, Phil, who never talks to anyone and is known as “Freaky Phil” by everyone in school. Dan decides to give the boy a chance, though Phil isn’t exactly the easiest person to talk to…

Silent Proposal - phandabbydosey

Summary: Phil takes Dan out to dinner (or any place you prefer) and forgets his ear pieces and doesn’t know Phil is going to propose so Phil has to sign will you marry me to Dan?

Something No One Can Hear - six-foot-two-phanchild

Summary: Both Dan and Phil are starting over at a new school, lonely and unsociable. When Phil finds Dan, he’s not what he was expecting - he’s deaf, but that only intrigues Phil more.

Sound (ao3) - somanydestiel

Summary: dan is deaf but goes to mainstream school and is lonely and gets bullied but meats bamf!phil who knows sign language and stands up for him.

They Know - phandabbydosey

Summary: Dan is deaf and his subscribers don’t know. One day he accidentally uses sign language on a live show and has no choice but to come clean about his disability.

You Deserve The World - doomedhowell

Summary: Dan is deaf and doesn’t have many friends at his school. Phil is the new kid who meets Dan on his first day. They instantly bond the moment Dan learns that Phil knows sign language. They become best friends because of this.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #au #deaf #signlanguage #signlanguage masterlist

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adorkablephil · 7 years ago

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Fic: Listen (Epilogue)

Title: Listen Rating: PG Word Count: 705 (this chapter) Summary: Phil is a successful YouTuber, and Dan is a fan desperate for attention. Sounds like 2009, right? Except Phil is Deaf. Tags: AU, Deaf!Phil, Mute!Dan, Both YouTubers, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Conversion Disorder, Childhood Trauma (no details) Author’s Note: This epilogue is dedicated to Dani (@blackteelester), for reasons that will be obvious to her. :) Entire fic also available on AO3 here

[Masterlist of all “Listen” chapters on Tumblr]

Epilogue: PINOF 6

Viewer question: “What kind of pants does Dan wear?”

Phil signed, “Well, I assume you’re talking about the British meaning of ‘pants’”—he fingerspelled the word—“meaning underwear, since you can obviously see his black skinny jeans. So I’m going to let you in on a secret: Dan doesn’t wear briefs or boxers. Actually … Dan wears pantaloons.” He had to fingerspell “pantaloons,” too, because he had no idea if a BSL sign actually existed for the ridiculous word, but he knew viewers would find it funny in the subtitles.

Dan blanched for a moment, then reddened, then gathered his composure. He signed stiffly, “I’ll have you know they are very masculine pantaloons. With only the most laddish of ruffles.”

Phil fell over on the bed, giggling hysterically.

Dan continued, straight-faced, “In fact, right now, I’m wearing very fashion-forward silken pantaloons from the latest Alexander McQueen collection.”

Phil pulled himself upright, but his signing was loose and clumsy from all the laughing. “What color are they today?”

Dan lifted his chin majestically and fingerspelled the word “fuchsia.” He continued stoically, “If a man’s outer clothing is primarily black, he has to express the more colorful, private elements of his personality through his manly pantaloons.”

Phil completely lost control, laughing so hard that he fell off the bed, which finally broke Dan’s composure, and he suddenly burst into unrestrained giggles and collapsed back onto the duvet. Phil peeked his head up to look at Dan and signed, “Are we going to leave that in?”

Dan sat up again and rolled his eyes. “Of course, you spoon. It’s hilarious.” And they grinned at each other.

Another viewer had requested that Dan play something on the piano, but they didn’t want to haul all the camera equipment into the music room, so Phil just used his phone to film it.

This had been one of Phil’s absolute requirements when they were searching for the London flat: it had to have a room they could use as a music room, something big enough for a real piano. Sure, the primary reason for the move might be the trauma specialists and speech therapists here, but the Manchester flat had been far too small for a proper piano, so Phil had considered this supposed London “bonus” non-negotiable. And so here Dan was, playing his very own piano in his simply furnished music room with the sun streaming in through the large windows while Phil filmed him on his phone.

Phil watched Dan’s fingers, but didn’t recognize any of the patterns until suddenly he saw a familiar flow along the keys and bit back a gasp. Dan was actually playing a bit from the piece he’d been composing himself lately, which Phil would have thought too private for him to want to share with fans like this. His perfectionism meant he kept getting frustrated with it because he could never get the music to sound exactly like what he heard in his head.

Phil couldn’t hear it at all, of course, but he often rested his palms on the lid of the piano while Dan played or watched those lovely long fingers move fluidly across the keys. Even now, though, after so many years together, composing seemed like such a private creative process that he always felt honored when Dan invited him to “listen” while he worked on one of his own pieces.

Dan’s lips weren’t moving right now, so he wasn’t telling the viewers that this was his own work, but just the fact that Dan played part of his own composition for the video showed how far he’d come in his self-confidence and willingness to share himself with his audience. Phil thought back on the Dan he’d first met, the Dan he’d rescued from hiding in the corner of the Apple Store, and felt a rush of love and admiration for this beautiful, wonderful man and all he’d accomplished over the years, how comfortable he had become with simply being himself and letting it show to the world.

Of course, they could always edit this part out later if they wanted to, if Dan decided it was too much, but somehow, Phil didn’t think Dan would ask for that. He wasn’t hiding anymore.

Author’s End Note: Yes, it’s finally finished! Writing this story has been so incredibly informative and interesting and fun! I still have another list of info and links about sign language, Deaf culture, and stuff (including a list of d/Deaf YouTubers’ channels with short descriptions of each so you can see which ones you’re interested in checking out), which I will finish up and post sometime soon, since so many people have expressed further interest in those issues as a result of reading this story (which I find incredibly cool). Thank you to everyone who was so supportive while I was writing and posting this, with special thanks again to The Treehouse Mailing List folks, who were the first ones who convinced me this story was worth something and encouraged me to keep going.

#phanfiction #phanfic #deaf phan au #phan deaf au #phanfiction au #phanfic au #au phanfiction #au phanfic #phan #deaf phil #mute dan #myphanfic

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