#dead men don't catcall

[mychemical-andie]

i’m obsessed with the white eat the rich why'd it turn out so perfect . they're patches for my jeans :]

[konigsblog]

I, personally, hate the r@pe things you write.

I feel very strongly about SA and I know my feelings aren't your priority. I used to read your stuff a lot then actually ended up blocking you, but I decided to unblock you for this message.

I know a lot of people use this as a coping mechanism if they ARE victims, but hey, to each their own. You can't save everybody.

I just don't fuck with it. It's not my forte, but I know, deep down, you're not a bad person. Your brain just doesn't completely function. I, myself, have weird fantasies about military men and serial killers, but only about one's from shows, movies, or basically anyone fictional. I, myself, am extremely weird and I think I have a few mental disorders but I haven't gotten tested.

The things you write are vial, disgusting, and down right crazy, but hey, I used to fantasize about r@pe and honestly can't even imagine myself fantasizing about being violated now. I guess I've healed in a way or whatever, but I'm still into rough play and knives and such.

What im trying to say is, I feel for you and don't like your stuff at the same time. Nobody with a normal functioning, properly working brain is into what your into. It's just plain wrong. But that doesn't mean you're bad. You're just...mentally unput. Or, that's my assumption from first hand experience.

I just feel like your brain is messed up. Not in a quirky " I'm so twisted⛓️" way, but there's actually something wrong in there. Like, you're actually missin' a few dozen screws.

I have awful intrusive thoughts about hurting, killing, and/or fornicating with them and I hate this because it's a mental battle that honestly makes me wanna commit, which is why I feel so strongly about r@pe, especially as someone who gets catcalled a lot, and I am in dangerous situations often.

R@pe is worse than murder in my opinion because you can't hurt once you're done and dead, but being a survivor is an actual psychological battle that's torture, and torture is ALSO worse than murder.

I'm glad to know you don't actually support real SA and have some actual boundaries unlike the tons of idiots that I've blocked that do. Most of them have never even come close to experiencing SA, or just plain don't care.

I just think you feel this way because an actual issue with your brain. I don't mean this hatefully, even though I hate what you write. But that's just my analysis. But I am curious to know what made you this way.

you're a disgusting piece of shit, you don't know me, and let's keep it that way

[greenunoreversecard]

Kai,llyod, and Cole hc of them with a s/o that's kinda like a child of aphrodite from pjo? A bit more like piper though, they hate their gift and have to deal with cat callers alot?

I got cat called by way older men on the way home so this would be really comforting.

A/N:sorry it took so long to get this out for you. Ik my words can't offer much, but I'm sorry you get catcalled, it's not a fun feeling.

Sugar and spice-> Gn! Reader

individual headcanons of kai, cole and lloyd with a stunning S/O

Kai:

Kai, despite being extremely similar to his element in a multitude of ways, is an utter gentleman.

Hes always respectful of you, and makes sure to ask before he touches you in anyway, and is respectful with his eyes as well

With this said, as you guys grow close and start dating, he becomes uber protective of you.

He knows your very stunning.

And he knows others know that as well.

But alot of times, these people are creepy and go about saying: "hi, your outfit is cool" weirdly

And so he won't hesitate to punt a bitch into the sun

Most likely to throw a punch before a word leaves the creeps mouth.

And if your ever feeling gross and icky bc of the creeps?

Bros pulling out every stop.

Hes getting Zane to make a 10 course Michelin star meal, he's getting your comfort items, a hoodie (yours or his, doesn't matter) and he's becoming a 10/10 massager

Hes getting self care items, and a bath along with movies and cuddles with a side of shoulder to cry on

But if you get angry about the creeps??

He eggs you on. Agrees with you"YEAH BABE, FUCK THOSE ASSWIPES"

he will actively encourage any fist fights fights want to start with them

Hes your number 1 hype man, as well as comforter

Cole:

This man worships the ground you walk on. Just generally

Also drinks the respect tea (all of them do)

Hes always telling you how amazing you look, and even gives advice for anything you may need

Clothes? Food? Whatever hobby your working on?

He just has a eye for style of all categories

Hes generally also more down to earth, and realizes its much more than looks that makes a person

Which is why it takes him a bit longer to confess, as he wanted to get to know you better first (this man is demiromantic and demisexual)

Hes also fucking oblivious

So when people are more... sly about their intentions, like wording and such, he prolly won't notice

But the second he gets wind of what they are tryna pull

Hes super passive aggressive

And he slings a arm around your shoulder, or hides you behind him

Trys to talk it out first, and if they don't catch the hint they will catch his hands

Hes not... great with comfort tbh

His mom's dead and his dad's lowkey emotionally unavailable so he's not good at it

But he will rub your back when you cry, and buy takeout

He'll also prolly ask kai or Jay about how to comfort you better, bc both had either a sibling or parent.

He would ask Nia buts she's a younger sibling with a emotional brick wall of a brother so it's next to never she did some comforting.

Hes a little confused when it comes to comfort but Hes got spirit

Lloyd:

He has always been a little silly

So expect to bark at your aggressors

Idk why I just see him barking at your catcallers

Besides that

Hes always relied more on personality for if he likes someone, like cole

Not that kai doesn't care for personality he does, but looks plays a bigger factor for kai than they do cole and lloyd

Anyways

Off topic

Lloyd doesn't make a big deal how you look. Like doesn't comment on your outfits like cole.

Doesnt mean he doesn't think you don't look nice, bc he thinks you look lovely always

But moreso doesn't give a fuck

Wear a potato sack, or go naked, he doesn't give a fuck he just wants to get to the mall before it closes to he can check out the anime shops

He Def has a idrc additude, especially in dragon rising i feel, so I think if you want compliments you'd have to be outright about it, whereas the other two just kinda;"aww my partner is lovely🥰🥰"

And he's like;"babe, love you to bits and pieces but hurry the fucketh upeth I wanna get there before the fucking store closes"

And bc of that he's also the worst at comfort

Like he's always been told to suck it up so he kinda just is like... cool you done? And stands there awkwardly. He will get better with time, but please explain how to help better for future moments bc he was a Lil scared when you started crying.

Anyways back to the beginning about when mfs are being creepy

Barks at them

Fr barks

Bc it weird them out and he thinks it's funny

Or just tries to be as weird as possible

Like starts acting possessed

Crawls backwards on all fours like the lady from the ring or smth

If generally weirdness doesn't work he fights them

Though he tries to scare them off first

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Falling for you

Summary: When you decided to bring your daughter to Colombia to work for the CIA to take Pablo Escobar down, you never thought you would find someone to fall in love with....

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem. reader

Wordcount: 6.2k

Rating: E

Warnings: colleagues to friends to lovers, reader has a daughter, mentions of dead husband, death of best friend, angst, fluff, domestic Javi, kissing, smut (unprotected sex), feeeeeelings

A/N: This fic has been in the making for almost 2 years. I can't really explain why, but it took a long time and before I keep on editing it, I put it out in the world. I'm aware the last thing the CIA would do is send a single mother with her child to Columbia in the eighties but this is fiction and I don't want to hear complaints lol Also please let me know how you like the mood boards this year. I'm trying to change things up

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“He’s starring again.” You looked up from the file you were reading, looking at your partner Enrique before you let your eyes wander to the desk across the room. You had been here in Colombia for a good three months now. It might have been the worst idea you ever had to take your daughter with you to one of the most dangerous countries in the world, but it was not like something was holding you back in the states. 

You were used to the looks of all the men who thought they were more important than you. 

More intelligent than you.

The whispers behind your back. 

The catcalls. 

How they always tried to talk over you. But they didn’t know what you knew. They didn’t know the resources you had. Working as one of the few women at the CIA as an active agent took a lot from you. But you did it for the greater good. You did not talk to many of the men working in your department. Except for your partner Enrique and your supervisor. You and Enrique had been working together back in the states and him coming with you was one of the conditions you had before you agreed to go. You needed someone you could trust if you would work here to help to take down the biggest drug cartel in the world. You needed someone you could trust your daughter with, apart from the two nannies the CIA was providing all around the clock. 

Of course the safer and easier way would have been to stay back in the states. Where your daughter could play outside without being watched by at least one CIA Agent. But ever since your husband died almost four years ago on a mission, you had been searching for the change you needed in your life. And against all better judgement you found yourself agreeing to go and take your six year old daughter Eva with you to Colombia. Was it crazy? Obviously. Did it still feel like the right decision? Absolutely.

Javier Peña was looking at you, a cigarette between his lips. The first three buttons of his baby blue shirt were open and his finger kept rubbing over the side of his face. You nodded at him before you focused back on the files in front of you.

“Do you think he would still look at you like that if he knew about Eva?” Enrique whispered. You rolled your eyes. 

“He can look at me all he wants. I know how good I look today,” you chuckled and made him laugh. You were wearing a white silk blouse and dark red dress pants.

You did enjoy flirting with Javier Peña. 

He and his partner Steve were the only ones around here who actually talked to you. And in Javier’s case, try to get into your pants. And a part of you did enjoy the attention you got for him.

No one had looked at you like he did since your late husband. 

And even though you knew it was dangerous to entertain his flirtations, you found yourself doing it. You found yourself thinking about him more often, even though you knew that nothing would ever come out of it. He was, well, he was Javier Peña. Fucking everything that just looked his way and you were a widowed single mom. 

Of course you did enjoy it when he invited you for a drink after work at the bar around the corner. Who wouldn’t enjoy being invited for a drink by a handsome man? The problem you had was that he knew exactly how handsome he was and he knew how to use it. Because deep down, in the moments Javier Peña was just himself and not the guarded DEA Agent with commitment issues, you could see him as a man you could fall in love with.

“Why did we end up in this shithole again?” Enrique asked. You were about to answer when Carillo came back in, shouting in Spanish and everyone around got up and moved.

“What’s happening?” You asked, internally cursing yourself for not knowing more Spanish.

“Something about La Quico and a brothel?” 

There was something about La Quico and a brothel and you knew from the moment you heard about the intel and the plan that it would go to shit. Now, as you were standing outside, bulletproof vest still on, watching how body after body was carried out of the building, you kept shaking your head. 

If any of these fuckers would have just listened to you. 

Woman after woman was carried out. Dead. But your knees almost gave out when you saw your partner's lifeless body being carried out. Hugging yourself, you looked away from him and up to the sky to stop yourself from crying, They did not need to see you crying. You would wait to break down until you were home and after your daughter was tucked it.

You felt someone stand next to you.

“I’m sorry,” Javier said and you breathed in deeply, not looking away from the sky.

“It’s not your fault,” you answered quietly. Because it wasn’t. Javier actually had been more than vocal about what a shit idea this was in the first place.

“I’m still sorry,” you smelled the smoke he breathed out and you finally looked at him. He looked as tired as you felt. You reached for the cigarette between his lips inhaling the smoke yourself, before you handed it back to him. Steve came to stand beside him, the same tired expression on his face.

“I think we could all use a drink,” he said and you sighed.

“He’s been my partner for more than 8 years. And my friend for almost 20,” you shook your head, looking at Steve before your eyes fell back on Javier.

“I really wanna go home.” 

“We’ll take you.” Steve said.

You could still see the lights on in your daughters room and you sighed. You weren’t ready to tell her that her Uncle Ric wouldn’t be helping her with her Spanish skills anymore, that he wouldn’t help her paint her bedroom after he made the big plan for her to get her jungle book room.

“I’ll walk you in,” Javier said as the car stopped. You only nodded, saying your thanks to Steve as you stepped out and walked across the street. 

“Are you okay on your own tonight?” He asked, as you opened the door to the house, walking in. Javier kept following you.

“I’m not alone, and I am planning on getting drunk and then cry myself to sleep. It’s Saturday tomorrow right?” You asked and he nodded. 

“I guess I’ll see you on Monday,” Javier said quietly. You felt the tears in the corner of your eyes and you prayed he would just turn around and leave. You just nodded, your lips already trembling. The reality of how alone you felt hit you like a brick as you looked at the apartment door across from yours, where Enrique lived… used to live. 

“Please go Javier. I don’t need you to see me breaking down,” you pleaded and turned away from him, putting the key into the lock of your apartment.

He sighed before he said your name. You felt his hand on your shoulder and against your better judgement you turned around and let him pull you against him, as you sobbed into his shirt.

You blamed it on the loss of your best friend, the need to feel something, that you just leaned in, your ear on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as his hands rubbed soothingly over your back.

“You are going to get through this,” he whispered. You enjoyed this moment. Standing outside of your apartment in his arms. He wasn’t being a flirt. He was just there to comfort you. You breathed in deeply, his scent in your nose and you had never noticed just how good he smelled.

“Thank you Javier,” you whispered and brought some distance in between you. Looking up into his tired eyes, the hint of a smile on his lips as he looked at you, you were more than grateful when you heard footsteps behind your door. Untangling yourself from him you brushed your tears away and put a smile on your lips just in time before the door opened. Eva jumped into your arms as you turned around.

“I missed you Mommy!” She giggled and you felt yourself smile as you picked her up and carried her in your arms.

“I missed you too, princess,” you whispered into her hair, before you set her down.

Looking up you saw Maria standing there with a tired smile on her lips. 

“I tried everything Miss, but she wanted to wait until you’re home.” 

“It’s okay. Thank you,” you nodded at her. She looked behind you and you followed her gaze, finding Javier standing in your door as if he was out of place. Maria nodded at him as she said her goodbyes. He stepped out of her way as she left.

“Either in or out Pena,” you said. He looked at you, about to open his mouth when Eva came back with a painting she had made today.

“Who is that?” She asked looking at Javier.

“That is one of the Agents I’m working with,” you explained nodding at him. He still looked between you and Eva like a fish out of the water before he shook out of it.

“I’m Javi. And I should go before my partner drives off without me,” he said the last words looking at you. You nodded.

“Bye Javi. Thanks for bringing my mom home safe,” Eva smiled, and you sighed.

“Go brush your teeth, I’ll tuck you in in just a moment, okay?” You smiled down at her, your hands brushing over her cheek before you leaned down to kiss her forehead. She nodded, waving towards Javier and left the room to go to the bathroom.

“She’s a…” Javier began.

“Yeah,” you nodded, walking towards him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.

“You never asked,” you shrugged. He nodded. You could see the many questions he had in his eyes. 

“Will the two of you be okay here tonight? Alone?”

“We will. Thank you. And now go, before Steve actually drives off without you,“ you smiled forced.

“Okay. I’ll see you on Monday?” He asked, sucking his bottom lip in. You nodded.

“Good night Javier,” He nodded too and turned around, slowly walking down the hallway.

“It’s Javi,” he called over his shoulder and you frowned.

“Friends get to call me Javi,” he looked at you. You had to smile at that before you finally closed the door behind you.

Within two weeks after this day, everything had changed. You moved into the same building as Javi and Steve, after a brief visit to the states for Enrique’s funeral. You actually found a close friend in Steve’s wife Connie. But most of all the absence of your best friend had been hard on you. 

You never actually told him how grateful you were for his help. And for coming to this country with you, just because you felt the need to change your life. You spend the nights crying yourself to sleep, feeling responsible for his death. If he hadn’t agreed to come down to Colombia with you, he would still be alive. 

And you wouldn’t have to look into your daughters sad eyes when she remembered that Uncle Ric wouldn’t come around to cook her favourite meal. You never learned the secret on what exactly Enrique did with the mac & cheese that made her go absolutely nuts, and now you wouldn’t have a chance to. 

Work had been one big mess ever since the fail at the brothel. And it took all willpower you had to not go around and tell everyone “I told you so”. You also had a new partner. Well, two. Steve and Javier insisted on you joining them. Not that you had a chance when you came back on Monday morning and your desk was standing a joined to theirs. You had spend the whole weekend crying when you weren’t around Eva and this had almost made you tear up again.

Javier had almost entirely stopped flirting with you, which was the biggest change. He had actually been nothing but nice and respectful and you were wondering what it was that made him like this. Not that you minded. 

He made the effort to get to know you, asking little question here and there. Asking about Eva and what her hobbies were. 

You were fascinated by this side of Javi you got to know now. 

But somehow you missed the way he used to look at you. 

“What are you doing this weekend?” Steve asked, as you were sitting over another file of leads going nowhere.

“We wanted to paint Eva’s room. She chose green. And I absolutely hate it,” you chuckled.

“How come you never told anyone you had a kid?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.

“No one ever asked,” You shrugged. 

“People don’t really talk to me because I'm CIA and I'm a woman. And I don’t speak more than 10 words of Spanish.”

“Yikes, we really are assholes,” Steve shook his head and you laughed.

“Well… You’re not that bad. And you have a wife that bakes cake, so you’re on my good side,” you joked and Steve chuckled. 

“But what is going on with Javier lately?”

“So you noticed it too? I kept asking him but he just shrugged it off.” 

“Maybe he needs to get laid,” you shrugged and Steve grinned.

“You offering?” You heard Javier’s voice behind you and you glared at Steve who tried not to laugh. Turning in your seat you looked up at the man in question. He grinned down at you.

“What if I told you I'm a lesbian?”

“That would only make it hotter,” he winked. You turned in your seat looking at Steve. “Okay I think he’s back.” You chuckled.

“If you need any help, just say the word,” Steve said as you walked down the hallway. It was Friday and you had just come home. One of the perks of living together with Javi and Steve was that you could use one car to get to work. 

“Will do, thanks!” You smiled. 

“Help with what?” Javi asked, standing next to you. You were now occupying the apartment across from him.

“I want to paint Eva’s room tomorrow. And let’s just say it’s not my biggest talent. Enrique used to do things like that. He actually planned the whole thing,” you smiled sadly looking at the floor before you breathed in deeply and looked at Javi. He had a strange expression on his face.

“What about I’ll come help and you cook that thing you have been cooking last weekend?” he rubbed his moustache.

“You can come over for some food without working, Javi,” you said right away. 

“You tell me that now? What is it you cooked there last week?”

“I’m trying to figure out how Enrique made his mac & cheese cause Eva loved it so much.” You said quietly. You could hear her laughter behind the door.

“Sorry. I… Fuck. I keep reminding you of his death,” Javier shook his head.

“You’ve been a big help. I mean it. And if you want to spend your Saturday painting my daughter's room, you are welcome to do it,” you shrugged. He smiled a little.

“Okay. See you tomorrow then.” 

One thing you noticed since moving was that Javier was a night owl. Of course you knew about his reputation but you didn’t judge him. He was an attractive man. If you were him you would use that to your advantage too. When Eva was in bed, and you were sitting in yours, a glass of wine in hand as you continued to work on files it was more than once that you heard just how much of a night owl Javier was. Either his women were very good actors or he really knew what he was doing.  

“Mommy?” You heard the sleepy voice of your daughter and looked up from your book. She was standing in your door, her hair a wild mess. You looked at the clock. Nearly 1 am.

“Bad dream?” You asked. You saw her nod.

“Come here,” you smiled.

She climbed under your covers, snuggling to your side as you closed your book, setting it down on the bedside table. 

“Wanna talk about it?” you asked softly, stroking away her hair so you could look at her. She shook her head. 

“Okay,” you kissed her head.

It was a couple minutes later, you thought she was already asleep when she mumbled. 

“You are not gonna leave me too mommy, right?” she whispered. 

You gulped, pulling her closer towards you. 

“I’m never gonna leave you baby,” you promised, your heart breaking. 

She nodded. 

“I miss Uncle Ric,” she said. You fought the tears. 

“I miss him too,” you whispered. 

You didn’t know how long you laid in bed, watching your daughter fall asleep. You had questioned coming to Colombia from the beginning. 

You had been looking to change jobs for a while, and the job in Colombia was the only job the CIA had offered to various agents who had all declined it. Now that you were living here, you knew why. 

It was beyond dangerous to take your daughter to this country. The CIA took your safety serious, which could have to do with how your late husbands death, which happened on a mission the CIA fucked up. 

You could have asked the CIA for everything and they probably would have given it to you, just to keep you quiet. And maybe you should just have taken the money they offered you, buy a house on the beach, settle down with your daughter somewhere safe. 

But there was always a little part of you brain that wanted to…. Avenge the death of your husband who had died because he found himself in the middle of a cartel deal gone wrong in Mexico. 

You looked at your daughter, hoping that your selfish decision would not cost her more of her family in the future, before you let yourself finally drift of to sleep. 

There was a knock on the door just as you finished washing the dishes from breakfast. Eva was wearing a bright blue kids overall you had bought while getting supplies to paint, running past you to the door before she stopped and turned around. 

„Can I open Mommy?“ She asked. 

„You gotta ask whose there first,“ you remind her and she nodded.

„WHO’S THERE?“ She yelled loudly through the door and you chuckled. 

„Uh…. Javi?“ The man behind the door said, sounding it like a question. Eva looked at you and you nodded at her and she unlocked the door and opened it. 

Javi looked at Eva then at you before he stepped into your apartment. 

„Next time we need the codeword from you Javi,“ Eva said and he nodded seriously. 

„What is the codeword?“

„Pancakes,“ she whispered loudly.

„Good morning,“ he said a little awkward. Eva threw the door closed behind him, before she ran back towards her room. 

You shook your head amused.

„Good Morning Javi. Ready to spend time with a six year old girl who is obsessed with the jungle book?“ You asked, drying your hands, before you turned around to him. 

He was wearing some older looking jeans and a white, very tight, T-Shirt. 

„I have you know I have a lot of younger cousins. I think I can handle one girl,“ he said over confident and you nodded. 

„We will see,“ you said, a smile playing around your lips before you nodded with your head towards your daughters bedroom.

You stopped counting after the tenth time Eva insisted on replaying The Bare Necessities. It was a surprisingly fun day. 

You had to admit that you had underestimated Javier Peña.

You knew he was good at his job, but you didn’t know he was good with children. He explained every step he made to paint the walls to Eva and praised her when she began to paint herself. And he listened to every story your daughter told him. Never annoyed with her, always asking follow up questions. 

And once she brought out her little recorder and played the jungle book tape you even noticed him humming along to the song, making you smile as you watched them both together. 

They had both threw you out of her room so you could make dinner, leaving Javi and Eva to rearrange her room now that it was finished painting. 

You could hear them laugh and you found yourself smiling to yourself. You missed the sound of her laughter ever since Enrique died. 

You had put the Mac & cheese into the oven when Javier walked into your kitchen. 

He had paint all over his arms, his shirt too. There was a smile on his lips and you found yourself smiling back. 

„Enough Jungle book?“ You asked and he huffed a laugh. 

„For now. She’s rearranging her stuffed animals on her bed,“ he said, leaning with his hip at the kitchen counter, watching you. 

„Oh good. This will take her at least an hour. She’s a little perfectionist,“ you said. 

„That’s… That’s good…“ Javi hummed and you frowned, turning towards him. He had a hand on his hip, his other hand pulling at his lip as he looked at you. 

„Why?“ You asked. 

He seemed… nervous. His eyes focused on you, seemingly fighting with himself about something. 

„Javi…“ you started but he stepped towards you, one of his hands coming up to touch your cheek, his thumb brushing over your lips. Your breath hitched and you looked at him with wide eyes, your lips slightly parted. 

You were nervous, but not in a bad way. It was more… anticipation of what would happen next. 

„Can I kiss you?“ He asked. Instead of answering you nodded slowly, seeing him smile before he leaned in and kissed you softly. Your eyes slipped close and his lips found yours. You felt his other hand come to rest on the back of your head, and he slowly guided you so your back was against the counter as he slowly deepened the kiss. His tongue brushing over your lips until you parted them for him, sighing against his mouth. You rested one of your hands on his chest, your other hand in his hair as he moved his lips over yours. 

He rested his forehead against yours as he parted form your lips, both of you panting for air. 

„Wow,“ you whispered, opening your eyes. He was smiling at you. 

„Yeah,“ he whispered, kissing you again. 

You both jumped apart when you heard Eva call for you. You felt like a teenager who got caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing when you looked at Javi. You both chuckled at each other and you took a deep breath. 

„I should check on her,“ you said. He nodded. 

„Go. I’ll keep an eye on dinner,“ he said. You ran a hand through your hair, before you turned around, seeing Javi adjust himself out of the corner of your eyes. 

Date Nights were not something you ever had before. Yes you went on dates when you were married, but there was never a big fuss about it. 

Javier on the other hand, had taken you out every Friday night since you kissed. And it didn’t matter that you couldn’t openly date, not just because of work, but because the cartels had eyes everywhere, you were just happy to bet able to spend time with him outside of work.

Steve and Connie were happy to watch Eva for the evening, happy to have someone to play with their recently adopted daughter Olivia. You had been there in the house when Olivia was found. The scene still haunting your dreams. 

Javier and you remained strictly professional at work. Of course there was talk about how Javier hadn’t been to a brothels in some time, but no one ever dared to ask, because he still got his intel from the girls. 

You weren’t officially dating, but the both of you spend almost all your free time together. Things had become so domestic that even Eva seemed to realise things were changing. Not that you were hiding it from her. Javier had started to hang out at your place some more. Dinner for the three of you becoming a almost daily fixture whenever Javi was around and not working. 

There were secret touches around Eva at the beginning until she caught Javier kissing you goodbye one night. She had a million questions for the both of you, and you had to give it to Javi, he answered every single one of them until Eva was satisfied, allowing him to date her mommy which you found beyond adorable. 

You could never even entertain the thought of dating someone your daughter didn’t like. 

That your daughter approved of this new man in your life made the change that was coming even harder. 

Things in Colombia were getting more and more dangerous, leaving you to make the difficult decision to go back to the states. You had put in a request to get relocated which had been approved the week before. 

You and Eva would be going back tomorrow leaving you to have to start over again. It had actually been Javier who had brought his concerns in the first place about you and your daughters safety up. You knew that coming to Colombia as a woman working for the CIA would put a target on your back. But the cruelty of the cartels and above all Pablo Escobar were at an all time high and to hard to ignore much longer. 

So this Friday night would be your last date night with Javier for a while. He had taken you out to your favourite restaurant and held your hand all night, proud to show you off now that the both of you did not have to hide anymore. 

It was the first time he kissed you in a crowded room, unafraid of who was watching. Because he knew you would be safe and out of the country in less than 15 hours. 

And while the two of you had kissed for the first time almost three months before, you did not have sex yet. 

Something you meant to change tonight. 

You unlocked the door to your apartment, inviting him in. He had helped you put your whole life in boxes, promising to oversee them being shipped off to your new home. 

„You gonna tell me where you going yet?“ He asked as you made the both of you a drink. You bit your bottom lip as you turned around, handing him the glass. 

He knew you were going to Texas, he just didn’t know where. 

Javier took a sip while you took one too before you set the glass down on the kitchen table. 

„Laredo,“ you said and his eyes widened. 

„I’m transferring to the DEA in Laredo, Texas,“ you added, waiting for his reaction. You never really talked about the future. But Javier was a man you could see yourself growing old with. You knew he had his own demons, thinking he did not deserve to be loved. 

He had told you that he wanted to work on himself once he was finished with Colombia. 

„Say that again,“ he asked you. He was looking at you with warm eyes, a smile forming on his lips. 

„Eva and me will be moving to Laredo, Texas,“ you said, smiling yourself. 

„Where?“ He asked.

„I found a house. But it needs some work. So I talked to your Dad the last time he called to ask for some help to find a contractor and he offered us his guest room,“ you said shyly. Javi laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

He sat the glass down and walked to you, his hands crossing on your lower back, his chest against yours. 

„You did this all behind my back?“ He asked. You nodded. 

„Surprise?“ You asked and he kissed you. 

„You gonna be on our farm?“

„Eva is already looking forward to learn how to ride a horse,“ you nodded. 

„Fuck, she’s gonna have my Dad wrapped around her little finger in no time,“ he chuckled.

„Just like she has you?“ You asked and cried out in laughter as he dinged his fingers into your side, making you giggle. 

„Rude,“ he said. 

„But true,“ you shrugged and he kissed you again. 

„I’m not complaining,“ he mumbled against your lips. You sighed as his lips slowly kissed down your jaw and then your neck. 

„Javi,“ you gasped and he hummed against your skin. 

„Please take me to bed,“ you whispered and he looked up at you. 

„Are you asking me…“

„Yeah…“ you nodded, both of your hands resting against his chest. He took a deep breath. 

„I need words,“ he clarified and you got on your tiptoes. 

„I wanna have sex with you Javier,“ you whispered against his ear.

He took his time undressing you, once you made it to your bedroom. His lips following a path of every inch of skin he revealed. When you were standing in just your underwear in front of him before he kissed you, mumbling against your lips how beautiful you were, before he helped you strip him off his clothes. 

You gulped when you saw his cock for the first time, not really surprised at the lack of underwear on his side. Biting your lip you looked up at him, seeing him wink at you before he kissed you again. 

He laid you down on your bed, his lips never leaving yours. 

You moaned when you felt his weight on top of you, his arms resting next to your head to keep him hovering above you. You felt him rub against you, his cock rubbing against your stomach, making you both groan. 

He slowly kissed down your body. 

Your neck.

Your collarbone. 

Right between your breasts. He looked up at you then a question in his eyes. You arched your back and he smiled as he reached around and unhooked your bra, slowly pulling it down your shoulders until he could pull it off. 

„Beautiful,“ he hummed, his lips kissing the top of each breast before he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth. You whimpered, your back arching again, your hands playing with his hair to keep him close. 

He moaned against your skin, his tongue playing with your now hard nipple inside his mouth. 

„Javi,“ you moaned softly and  he released your nipple. 

„Prettiest tits I’ve ever seen,“ he grinned and you felt yourself flush, giving him a shy smile. 

„I wanna taste you,“ he said, kissing your other breast. 

„Mhhh,“ you hummed.

His lips wandered down your body, his tongue dipping into your belly button with a grin before he kissed right above your panty line. 

You released a shaky breath and he smiled at you. 

„Can I take this off?“ He asked. You nodded, biting your lip. His fingers slipped under the fabric of your panties and he kneeled between your legs pulling them down. Both of his hand ran up your thigh as he leaned back down, his face resting just above your pussy. 

„You’re so wet,“ he said in wonder and you smiled. 

„Just for you.“

He hummed before his face lowered and his lips kissed just above your clit. He inhaled deeply, releasing a groan. 

„Gonna miss this when you’re gone,“ he whispered and you sighed. 

„Guess you have to come home to me quickly then,“ you said and he smiled as he looked up at you. 

„I like the sound of that,“ he said.

„What?“ You asked. 

„Coming home to you,“ he whispered before he licked into you. You grabbed the bedsheet beneath you as he began to eat you out, parting your legs even further. His big hands kept you in place while he devoured you. His tongue playing with your clit before it dipped down and into you. 

„Javi please…“ you moaned.

„Please what?“ He asked.

„Make me cum?“ You begged and he chuckled. 

„Already begging for me….“ He teased and you lightly kicked him in his side, making him chuckle before he leaned back in, eating you out until you were moaning his name, your legs shaking in his hold. He kissed your pussy after you calmed down and have you a proud grin and he leaned back above you, his lips finding yours to give you a deep kiss where you could taste yourself. 

You angled one leg behind him, pushing him down against you. 

„Fuck me, Javi. I want you inside of me,“ you mumbled against his lips.

„Fuck,“ he cursed. He grabbed his cock, lining himself up against your pussy. 

You both moaned when he slowly sank into you. Inch by inch filling you smoothly until his whole cock was inside of you, filling you perfectly. His forehead came to rest against yours and you wiggled your hips, making him groan. 

„Fuck…. Please give me a moment…“ he groaned and you smiled, pecking his lips. He kissed you slow but deep. Licking into your mouth. 

You made out for a while before he slowly bottomed out and pushed back into you, keeping a slow pace. 

„Feels fucking perfect, baby,“ he moaned against your lips, fucking you deeply. 

You wrapped both of your legs around him, your hands on his back and in his hair. 

„Shit I’m not gonna last, feels so good, he groaned and you felt one of his hands slip between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit. 

„I want you to cum with me,“ he said and began to circle your clit while he fucked faster into you. 

„Javi,“ you whimpered, arching your back. His head dipped down, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. He pulled your nipple between his teeth, pulling it playfully and your whole body shuddered as your orgasm washed over you, whimpering beneath him just as he twitched and came deep inside of you. 

You sighed, your fingers brushing through his hair as he kissed you, both of you smiling against each others lips. 

You stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each others embrace before he slowly pulled out of you, pecking your lips. He went to the bathroom to clean himself off, bringing a washcloth to clean you too. 

„I’m gonna get Eva from Steve and Connie’s,“ he mumbled against your lips and you nodded dreamily at him, watching him as he got dressed. 

You got into your bathrobe and walked out of your bedroom just as Javi walked back into your apartment, a sleeping Eva in his arms. 

Smiling at him you opened the door to her bedroom for him, watching him as he put her carefully into her bed. He had been doing this since the first date night, and it never ceased to amaze you just how perfect Javi fit into your life. 

He kissed her forehead before he walked towards you, taking your hand to lead you back into your bedroom. 

You knew you had to sleep but as you watched Javi strip out of his clothes and get into bed with you you were overcome with a sadness, knowing that his was the last time you would see him for a while. 

You laid in bed, facing each other. 

„I love you,“ you whispered, wanting him to hear the words before you leave. 

He gave you a soft smile before he slipped closer towards you, his nose brushing over yours. 

„I love you too,“ he whispered back and kissed you. 

Both of you finding close to no sleep until it was time to get ready to leave for the airport the next morning. 

„Bye Javi,“ Eva sobbed as Javi held her in his arms the next morning. She was clinging to him like a koala, clutching his shirt in her tiny fists. He was still holding your hand.

Javi had gotten breakfast while you got Eva ready before he drove you both to the airport.

You saw him take a shaky breath, kissing her hair. 

„I’m gonna miss you,“ she mumbled and you felt tears stinging in the corner of your eyes. 

„I’m gonna miss you and your mom too. So much,“ Javi whispered, pulling you closer. He let go of your hand to put his arm around you, pulling you into the hug. 

„You have to fight the bad guys. And then you can come live with us all the time,“ Eva mumbled and Javi looked at you. You gave him a watery smile.

„I’ll do my best. Be good for your mommy,“ he said and you saw her nod, before he slowly let her down. She hugged your side and you wrapped your arm around her. 

„Be safe,“ you whispered looking up at him. 

„I will,“ he promised before he kissed you softly. 

„I love you,“ you said and he smiled, a tear now running down his cheek. 

„I love you, too,“ he kissed you again.

[verdemoun]

Ik you set this up to ask about characters but can I ask how a beach day would go with the gang? Who's been buried in the sand and left there, what's Kieran getting up to, who's gotten the cops called on them and got removed from the premises? Do the girls get to enjoy modern swimwear as much as I think they would?

fuck yeah asks are for gang activity ideas too

bessie has no time for ageism she looks like aphrodite in her sunhat and sheer coverup and hosea almost has a heart attack and dies right there because of how beautiful his wife looks and how much he loves her

i need to set this in the whole gang chapters because arthur spends at least an hour making fun of john who is downright afraid of going near the water but instead of admitting he's afraid he just gets angrier at arthur

jack also can't swim and abigail is increasingly wondering why she even agreed to come jack looks like he's about to pass out because he insisted on wearing all black in his typical angsty teenage bullshit

isaac morgan to the rescue he convinces jack to at least change into shorts and take off his coat. being the sweetest most courteous man to ever exist he bought a paddle board and jack just gets to sit on the front enjoying getting further away from the embarrassing chaos that is the gang while isaac paddles.

course isaac is also a shit and jumps off at several points because it's hot he wants to be in the water and after giving jack suffient panic attacks he rows to a little secluded spot so jack doesn't have to be embarrassed about not knowing how to swim and tries to give him lessons

eliza and abigail both absolutely radiant like modesty is dead and they are thriving at its wake abigail is serving in the strapless bikini and her beach wrap and just because her boys can't enjoy the water doesn't mean she won't. they both deserve to be able to relax without worrying about their children or the men who fathered them if arthur and john kill each other they don't care anymore they're living their best lives

also men stupid enough to catcall them soon learn the reason the gang didn't react is because abigail can punch as hard as they can and will not tolerate that shit

sean gets buried mostly because he started to burn the second he left the car after claiming it was too hot to wear protective clothing and his skin has forgotten he used to be an outlaw who literally lived outside. burying him was the only way to get him to stay still long enough to put sunscreen on his face. karen proceeds to lay on top of sand mound so he can't escape which he is okay with because she is unapologically rocking the purple two piece

lenny is the only one with the mental facilities to remember everyone's ice cream orders so he spends half the trip trying to carry a gang worth of ice cream back from the truck but he would really enjoy swimming little nihilistic nerd ass is swimming around imagining it's the weightless of space and thinking about perceptions of gravity

everyone has been doing their own things for a good 30 minutes before they realise kieran has wandered off and they swear to god he is doing it because he enjoys causing them distress

kieran and albert mason went to look at rock pools which is fine NOT FINE DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS IN THERE ARE VENOMOUS charles has to abandon his relaxation to supervise and make sure they don't poke anything that could kill them

micah is trying to teach baymax how to swim the giant baby of a rescue dog has never been in water deep enough where he needs to paddle

dutch and micah would be the ones kicked off the beach because it's not a dog friendly beach and upon being asked to leave micah started shouting about stupid laws which triggered dutch into another 'oh so this is the great and bountiful united police states where you can use your almighty powers to govern where a man takes his companion'.

grimshaw gently squeezing annabelle's hand like honey that ain't your problem anymore. let the ladies lay on the beach and enjoy wine and cheese while dutch gets arrested

molly didn't even know the gang were going to the beach but it's good to see everyone every once in a while (she turns up after dutch left or she would have shived him). she brought 4 different outfits for different times of day depending on uv exposure and javier applauds her for it. she is taking so many selfies and encourage javier to pose with her

[mysticstarlightduck]

What is the most common trauma you give your characters? The one that most/many of them have. For example abandonment issues, survivor's guilt, something along those lines

Thank you so much for the ask, @an-indecisive-nerd!!!

Sorry for the late response btw - these past two weeks were really tough on me due to the fact I was anemic AND had a really bad flu, but now that I'm 100% back to health I'm ready to catch up with my asks and tags lol

I think a few of the most common traumas my characters face in my books are the following (mostly because I'm a whump enjoyer but also because those things are really plot relevant too):

Familial Loss - Most of my Main Characters have suffered some kind of familial loss in their past. A lot of them don't have their parents and if they have the good one is usually dead and the bad one is hunting them. Examples of this in my stories include: the Millihan siblings from WLITH lost both of their parents at a young age, Savvy Hahn from WLITH lost her half-brother to a brutal kidnapping when she was six, Adahm Ryker from Scrapyard Boys lost his childhood best friend when he was 12, Kaelan Brimcaste from Arrows of Nightfall lost his older brother and only guardian he ever had to an execution, and so on.

Poverty and Oppression- Many if not most of my MCs have suffered poverty in their past. In Grim City Chronicles Willem and his brother are street urchins in a Victorian Era-inspired city, Vince became a common prostitute to pay the bills and his cousin Peggy is a thief, and Ilya is a conman renowned for swindling nobles. Most of the characters from Scrapyard Boys suffered from various forms of poverty plus they live in a cyberpunk dystopian regime that is infamous for its oppresive and murderous tendencies. In Supernova Initiative, before Jack and Cassie Tithus became the richest and most wanted intergalactic thieves in the galaxy, they were just common street urchins in a backwater moon that was swamped by crime of all kinds. Even in WLITH - though NOT to the same extent as the other books, since the MCs in this book do have some stability - the Millihan siblings aren't exactly well off and Dylan often has to have 3 jobs just to pay the bills and settle their grandmother's debts that are still in their name.

Torture and/or Major Injuries: Many, many, many characters in my medieval high fantasy stories (Arrows of Nightfall, Realms of Loss, The Last Wrath, Crooked Fable, etc) AND in my science fiction stories (Scrapyard Boys, Plague of Tomorrow, Supernova Initiative) at one point or another of the story undergo some form of torture or continuous injury at the hands of their enemies.

Abandonment Issues & Betrayal - Though not as prevalent as the other traumas above, a lot of the cast from many of my WIPs has some form of abandonment issues. Erin Niemand from WLITH has very much unresolved abandonment issues due to her mother blatantly walking out on the family after cheating on Erin's dad. Adrien Rosetrom from Scrapyard Boys was literally kicked out from home and abandoned by his grandparents when he was 15. Victor Moreau in Grim City Chronicles was betrayed and shunned by his best friends when he was turned into a vampire at the age of 20, and lost his son to a monster hunter his so-called 'friends' sent after them a few years later.

Sexual Harassment: To a lesser extent (this time probably as some form of catharsis for my inner child 😭lol, but I'm fine btw) but still there, a few, specific characters in my WIPs have suffered some form of harassment or even, unfortunately, assault. Dylan Millihan in WLITH is stalked by a 50-year-old cougar (Mrs. Adelaide Draycott) who is disturbingly enamoured with him and wants to get the 23-year-old to fall in love with her or at least sleep with her at all costs, which she luckily fails at everytime but is still harassment. Adrien Rosetrom (Scrapyard Boys) has been catcalled, received inappropriate touches/groping or even snide comments from multiple men in clubs throughout the years due his job as a stripper - and the same applies to Vince in Grim City Chronicles but to a worse extent. (Also in Scrapyard Boys) It is implied Adahm Ryker suffered some form of assault by Dr. Gladys from the PHANTOM Labs when he was a teen, though any details are unclear. In the same WIP Karima Sallow offhandedly mentions that Caroline Tarych and her husband James both had a grooming-like attitude towards her before the Tarychs massacred House Sallow.

[library-of-babylon]

House of Night: Chosen - Review

★★★☆☆ Bullshit galore

Craft ★☆☆☆☆ Characters ★☆☆☆☆ Plot ★★☆☆☆ World-building ★★☆☆☆ Utter nonsense ★★★★☆

Triggers?

Homophobia

Victim blaming

Homeless abuse

Religious abuse

Racism

Sexism

Ableism

Implied sexual assault

Grooming

Sexual manipulation

Self harm

Misogyny

Race war(?) I don't like how I'm just collecting triggers

✨Spoilers✨

Birthmas

Do you like contrived conflict? No? Too bad because that's how this book starts. Zoey's birthday is December 24th and literally everyone except Heath and Grandma Redbird decided this meant everything they got her needed to be Christmas-themed. The only person who gets a pass from this is Jack who's known her for two weeks, likes snow globes, and trusted everyone else on the shit decision. These people have known her for about 3 months at this point and not a single one of them thought to ask her about what she'd like for her birthday or how she would feel about birthday presents that are Christmas-themed. This is a very basic thing to do and should go without saying.

And then there's Zoey, Erik, and Heath. As the book points out Heath has known Zoey for literal years and yet knowing this Erik gets pissed at her over him getting her a gift he knew she would like with a card that says he knows how much she hates Christmas-themed birthday presents.

Chapter 18

Why does a chapter finally deserve its own tangent? Because it is the worst. Problems with Heath aside about halfway through some men start sexually harassing Zoey, while with Heath, and these guys are offensively stereotypical black men. The books have always had a problem with racism including using food to describe skin and referring to hair as "nappy" all the damn time, but hoo boy the first black men we see and they are sexually aggressive, have baggy pants, are harassing people, and as if that start wasn't bad enough it somehow gets worse.

Zoey throws them into oncoming traffic, they get hit by a truck, and she doesn't even care. It takes a moment for her to really process what's happened and by then say they might not be dead besides there's a hospital nearby and they were trying to hurt Heath. To all this tells her what she did was mean she shouldn't be mean, Nyx isn't mean. I haven't told a lot of people this but I was in a car accident last month two days before Christmas. We were T boned and sent rolling, I got a concussion and my arm got pinned under the seat belt, my friend who was the driver got several broken ribs. Again we were inside a car that took most of the impact and thankfully were in a residential area so there wasn't as much force as the main road these men were thrown into. They were hit by a truck going at least 40 miles an hour and had nothing to protect them. That's not mean, that's malice and grievous bodily harm to men who catcalled her.

Professor Bad Touch (Loren Blake)

Please god, make it stop. He calls her a woman, compares their relationship to the implied pedophilic relationship the vampire Shakespeare had with a fledgling, gives her diamond earrings, kisses her, manipulates her into feeling bad for him, tells her not to tell anyone about "them", kisses down her shoulder and invites her back to his room to have sex.

This girl looks for a reason to get out of having sex with her teacher that isn't "moronic and juvenile". She turned 17 at the start of this book and he is not only her teacher but in his mid-twenties. This is deeply unsettling to listen to and all I can think is "You are a child" and "Did this really need to be included". The extremely predatory nature of this "relationship" is not being handled at all responsibly by the very fact that Nyx is seemingly cosigning this.

Because we are with Zoey 24/7 there isn't much room for her, the girl actively being groomed, to talk against what is happening being normalized to her by a man with power over her however at no point does Nyx step in, and give her a warning in any kind of way. Nyx is just as much at fault for this happening in the narrative as Blake, by the constant special treatment Zoey gets it is obvious she cares deeply for this girl who is her "eyes and ears" but does nothing while she is in active danger from this man. Nyx in these books is a trusted adult watching her get abused and doing nothing about it. The only thing Nyx does do around him is tell her to shut up and not spill secrets to the man which yeah I wouldn't tell him shit either but come the fuck on.

I hate that he's the one who takes care of her after she finds her teacher dead and mutilated in front of the school. I don't like how the book is trying to make me like him I know what he is and it just gives everything he says or does no matter how kind an insidious nature.

This man is a predator. He takes her virginity and imprints with her while she's an emotional mess, possibly in shock, having thought that she was about to witness her boyfriend die just one month after seeing her best friend die, forcing her to relive it. Even if she wasn't all the other problems this is so fucked up. Yeet this man into the sun he is scum in every way shape and form.

"you're not like other fledglings. And I feel some rules are meant to be broken" 🤮

The only good thing about professor bad touch is that he fucking dies at the end of the book after being revealed to have groomed and abused Zoey on Neferet's order.

Linda Heffer (Zoey's mom)

Zoey's mom is in an abusive relationship and is doomed by the native. Linda is manipulated by her abusive husband into giving her daughter a birthday present that they both know she would not only not like but would find offensive. The gift in question is adding Zoey and her siblings to the family bible. Under normal consonances this would be extremely heartwarming, adding stepchildren to a cherished family heirloom and tree cementing an unwavering acceptance into the family. Instead, it's a knowing insult to her religion and further religious abuse and manipulation from her stepfather.

Beyond that, there is also a very good chance that Linda and Zoey's siblings have been forced by John Heffer to not be in contact with her. Despite realizing how she's being manipulated by her husband, both Zoey and her own mother (Grandma Redbird) instead comment on how she's a weak woman who wants a man to think for her. It's all honestly quite sad.

Stevie Rae

Since dying and becoming Nosferatu Stevie Rae has gone through an almost complete personality change while also falling into a completely different class of more classical vampires. These Nosferatu vampires as I'm calling them in these reviews need to be invited in, think and act like most would assume the soulless would, burn in sunlight, and need to feed on human blood more often than regular fully fledged vampires. Despite these however, there does still appear to be some humanity in Stevie Rae as she is willing to go along with Zoey's plan to hide her in Aphrodite's parents' mother-in-law suite, part of which involves her giving up feeding on the homeless and other vulnerable civilians instead feeding on blood bags stolen from the school.

Aphrodite

It's absolutely wild hearing Zoey call Aphrodite a hoe while juggling two guys + her teacher.

Keeping with the last book's decision to give her more things to do than just hang around being spiteful in this Aphrodite is given an affinity for earth and sent by Nyx to replace Stevie Rae in the dark daughters and sons magic circle. She also gets a good amount of character development with a clear pattern of her opening up and being vulnerable while alone with Zoey, as well as agreeing to not be as antagonistic while being a part of the circle.

"As Mother says dependable illegals are really hard to find" Sometimes I really wish the books would quiet while they're ahead.

Erik Night

Yo, fuck this guy. He finds his girlfriend being groomed and sexually abused by their teacher and thinks she's the problem, calling her a slut. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Erik was a bland if likable guy in the past two books but his behavior in this one just makes me want to throw out the baby and the bathwater. On the one hand, he's upset about very reasonable things but he takes it out on Zoey in the most unreasonable ways. I really can not overstate how bad Erik is as a person, man found his girlfriend being abused and went scorched earth telling all of their friends the moment he had an opportunity and being such a spiteful vindictive bastard that not only was that not enough he then tried to turn everyone against her. Yeet him into the sun with Blake's corpse fuck the both of them.

Heath Luck

Guess who still doesn't understand boundaries? Heath who has gone from light stalking to full-blown obsession. At this point his only goal is Zoey and if they were normal people I'd be legit worried that he would kidnap her. Props to the book for realizing how unhealthy this is however any good boy point that would be given for this are immediately taken away by him deciding to cut himself when she tries to leave him so she'd be drawn to his blood.

I don't like Zoey but can the books please please please give her one love interest with a minor character flaw instead of being the scum of the earth? Like can she get with a guy whose problem is his car is a mess or who never vacuums his carpet?

Neferet

The duality of Neferet is an interesting one. After the girls find their teacher dead and mutilated she makes a genuine effort to be strong and supportive, the rock they and everyone needs at that moment however at the same time she is the unseen evil behind every door.

I just wish it'd been better done. The book ends with the implication that she killed her pedo boyfriend (for the wrong reason) and a personal friend of hers to start what is essentially a race war with humans. It's obvious that she has some greater plan here other than ruining Zoey's life but right now the pieces aren't adding up to shit and given the general state of things I worry whatever it is isn't going to be satisfying.

Jack Twist

I kinda feel bad for Jack, it's said in the book that Erik is like a big brother to him, and in this one, he completes the change to full vampire leaving Jack who has only been at the school for about a month alone. They were roommates and friends but he already lost him.

I just want to give Jack a hug, he's an absolute sweetheart and I swear to any god that will listen if that ever changes I will riot.

Craft

Said said said would it kill the Casts to pick a new word? Try muttered or chided or hell bit.

Maybe "exotic" isn't the best term to use as a compliment to someone period, let alone right after bringing up native Americans.

Would I recommend this book?

I mean kinda because it's full of utter bullshit like Zoey killing two guys then just forgetting that shit but at the same time this book just kinda meanders about not really knowing what to do, creating artificial conflicts and horrifying implications it has no intention of handling properly, and spending entirely too much time with Blake for even me to be comfortable with.

Mind the warnings with this one. Unlike that last book where you could ignore all implications lurking about in favor of things like fake domestic terrorism and the genuinely heartwarming sleepover after Stevie Rae's death in this one it can't bother to be bonkers enough to give much plot besides the horrors.

[spidermailed]

So, like, gender, right?

Yeah so sorry gonna infodump/rant again. Haha. Buckle in for this one folks, it's a doozy!

So lately in my therapy I've been talking about my experiences being a transmale. You know, the usual - Getting screamed at in the boxers isle, the joy of being called my preferred pronouns, the fact that the only two holidays about trans people are remembering our dead and asking society to acknowledge us? Yeah, stuff like that.

And It's uncovered something that I feel kinda like talking about, so, to the blog I go.

I'm a pre-T trans guy. I'm in highschool, though I kinda look like I'm younger. And I dress to pass, usually. Even though my voice is pretty high, sometimes I'll actually be, like, seen as male by strangers. And it's pretty cool.

Until you start to notice the fact that the only reason you can *tell* they see you as male, is because their treating you differently.

Women move out of my way when I'm walking in the hallways (which has caused me to accidently bump into them when I move out of the way myself), sometimes a random guy will give me that... Stupid goddamned bro-nod, or, probably most blaringly, I don't get catcalled. I live in damn New York, and in a .. Rustier area, for hell's sake. Usually I can't take a step out my door before some drunk guy starts begging me for some 15-year-old ass.

And it gets uncomfortable, really really fast. Sometimes It's made me question if I even identify as male at a core, because I'm so uncomfortable with it. I don't *like* being seen this way.

And when I started to talk about this experience is when I realized that no one has a goddamned clue about what I'm on about.

And that shocked me at first, but upon further thinking, it makes sense.

Most of the people in my life are cisgender. They've never had the experience of changing their presentation entirely, of being able to see what life is like in our culture for The Other Gender. If your born with genitals shaped one way, you wear a dress. If not, you wear one of those baby shirts that has the monster trucks and fire and ... stuff. And people treat you accordingly.

So of course they wouldn't understand.

And that discovery was so damning.

I don't think I have ever been so outraged at the world as the moment I understood what was happening. And I'm going to be honest, I have never met a cisgender man who *didnt* behave in this way. (Yes, that includes cisgender gay men.) And they don't even realize usually that their doing it. Because of course they don't.

Their not trans. This is purely just a trans experience.

Anyway. Let me know your thoughts on this one. This is kind of more personal then the usual shitpost-esk stuff I write, but I felt it might comfort some or open interesting conversation.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena reactions S1Ep5!

"And that one of their parents was made here" Ew, straights. (joking)

Uh oh.

"Places like this always have the best food" *dude tossed out the window* "And the best atmosphere"

Pls Xena just beating up people in the back

"Did you ever notice we never have trouble getting a table" dhdhdhsh

NOT THAT KIND OF HIRE SHDGDHSH GABRIELLE GETTING SUPER DEFENSIVE

Did Gabrielle start counting the gold shdhdhd

*kicks guy catcalling her*

Does she work for love

He looks like a sweet boy. (It's the big brown eyes)

Gabrielle wanted to see her new amulet xD

Awwww, "decide that you like it again" awwwwwwww... Gabrielle is worried.

Gabrielle talking, we love. She's such a clever girl.

Ohhh, he wants to fuel war to sell more weapons. Of course.

"Long live who"

Is that her bro? 😂 (Sorry I'll just assume everyone is her brother bc lovers? Bullshitttt)

Gabrielle babygirl xD

"I just called your bluff" shdhdh

"and therefore reasonable" 😂

"Perfect we're getting into the castle" I love Gabrielle have I mentioned

EW STOP LICKING HER HAND MARCUS.

I wuv Xena

And hate the guy

She's gonna double cross him

Xena keeping a woman from killing herself. She will always save a woman.

"I found it best to listen when Xena speaks" wise words 😌

Hehe Xena knocking out a guy. We stan.

I fucking hate the guy. The old man one.

"Never found someone to trust" BABES XENA GONN EXPLOIT UR TRUST

"There's something different about you" proximity to Gabrielle. "It's like now you have the answer." GJ HDHDHDS GABRIELLE. THE ANSWER IS GABRIELLE.

EW. SMOOCH

Ah fuck they chained Gabrielle up

Bäh. Get this straight man away. Xena is NOT into it. XD

Her being all innocent. GAH OLD MAN GO AWAY.

"His companion????" Xena, internally

Okay but Xena holding the girl's head did something to me. Idk what. But it was gay.

Men being veeeery toxic masculinity...

Urgh is Marcus gonna hurt them. He's so

"I don't wanna stand by your grave" // "Someday you'll be standing over my grave" "Or you over mine." or something in Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

No I won't stop the Doctor Who / Xena parallels

YES GIRL K.O. THE GUY

Urgh, Marcus c'mon

......

Of course he dies.

At least the capitalist weasel is dead

I AM VERY CLOSE TO CRYING OVER MARCUS OMG

*dies dramatically*

Not the burial

May he rest in peace

"To be remembered like that is a good thing" GABRIELLE MAKES ME CRY

I had a journey starting to like Marcus, and thrn obviously he DIES... I'm still gay, expect more reactions.

[ultramaga]

"#and while barbie didn't get the oscar the song i'm just ken gets an award#like the movie was explicit about feminism and equality and the only thing about that movie to get an award is i'm just ken#i'm honestly so disappointed" Don't hide that it in the tags. Come out of the closet, admit your movement is a failure. You had a trojan horse, dressed in Barbie, which Feminists despise. You retcon it as being feminist, denouncing other dolls for teaching girls how to become mothers, which Feminists despise. And nobody cares about that. What they care about is how gorgeous the girly stuff your movement hates is. Barbie is fun! Feminism is awful. And Ken, who was created by the demands of girls, who was actually super-competent ... he's rewritten as a helpless doofus with no usefulness, no purpose, and somehow the villain because he wants equality.

The villain. The Feminist hero Mary Sue, who was perfect all along. She's there. No character arc, no memorable lines, only just ... there. Your movie, sunshine, your fuck up, because it turns out that just means she's boring. But Ken? Ken, the symbol of Patriarchy, is fun, is human, is exciting and romantic.

People genuinely like Ken.

Margot's movie bitches that women are sexually harassed by men just for existing, but the reality was the opposite. Ryan and Margot had totally different experiences. Ryan got the catcalls. Ryan had the public fawning over him. Nobody talks to Margot, probably because they don't want to be #MeToo-ed. But if you're a gay man and say Ryan's got fab abs, there's no legal punishment, you won't be dragged and cancelled, you will get a thanks and a wave. The reality is the dead opposite to Greta Gerwig's hateful vision, and that's why people love Ken, and don't give a toss about the movie's Barbie. Don't get me wrong, I think the costuming and backgrounds are fantastic, they deserved awards too. But Ken could have a sequel. Barbie? She was a perfect summary of why Feminism failed, ironically. It has nothing to offer. It's not human.

RYAN GOSLING "I'm Just Ken" wins Best Original Song at the 29th Annual Critics' Choice Awards (January 14, 2024)

[chronicsundaze]

---- dead men don't catcall

follow me on instagram 💞

[purplesurveys]

1816

What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed in public? So my memory is horrible at retaining things like this, but yesterday I saw a dead rat at the sidewalk I was standing on while on my way to the dentist so there's that. 😬

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why? Time travel. As a history buff with a major FOMO complex in terms of what will happen in the future lol, it just makes the most sense.

What's the scariest encounter you've ever had with another person? I probably almost got abducted. It was around 15 years ago, the church service I attended with my mom just ended and she had to leave me for a few moments to attend to something. That one time she did, a woman approached me, held out her hand, and told me to come with her. I was like 10, didn't know any better, and was easily swayed at the time, so I very nearly went with her until my mom caught me at the exact moment and picked me up.

Other scary encounters... just a lot of gross experiences with men. Catcalling mostly, but I can recall at least two times men have gone out of their way to lunge at me while I was walking outside.

If you could go back in time and change one decision, what would it be? I would not.

What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? When I didn't get into the school paper back in high school, it was a big hit on my pride tbh. Writing was and is the only thing I love to do, and being told I wasn't qualified based off of an interview alone felt unfair and it made me doubt my passion in writing for a time. It was embarrassing for me, but I also couldn't face my parents at the time because I felt like I let them down. Anyway, I absolutely refused to give the paper the time of day for the rest of high school, even when they eventually came to me in like senior year and asked me to hold an editorial post.

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Sushi, just cause there's so many different kinds and I think it would be a while before I start to get sick of it.

What's the most unforgettable dream you've ever had? I had one dream where a loved one and I got shot, and another where I encountered an abandoned baby. Both visuals continue to stick with me.

What's the most unexplainable phenomenon you've experienced? Nothing.

If you could live in any time period, past or future, when would you choose and why? The 90s so I can live through the pop culture trends of the time.

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? Giving up decisively also counts as courage.

What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to you? That one day I locked myself out of the office, leaving my phone and laptop behind, while a presentation where I was due to talk was ongoing. I stepped out to handle a delivery hence the door closing and locking on its own for the three seconds I needed to go out.

If you could erase one movie or TV show from existence, what would it be and why? That Sabrina show, just out of personal spite.

What's the biggest regret you have in life? I don't have any big regrets.

What's the most interesting fact you know? I always like rehearing the fact that says if you fold a piece of paper enough times it'll reach the moon.

If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose and why? Monica Geller. I want to be able to cook anything I want to eat.

What's the creepiest encounter you've had with a stranger? Just a bunch of stuff with men.

What's the most heartwarming act of kindness you've witnessed? My dad coming to pick me up from Makati at 1 AM because there weren't any Grabs accepting my booking, and the Starbucks I was at was about to close.

If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would you choose? Owen Hart, Eddie Guerrero, Windham Rotunda.

What's the most unusual phobia you have or have heard of? My own fear of catching advertisements at night, when I was a kid lol.

If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why? Cooking. It's a basic skill that I'm too scared to do but know that I have to learn at some point.

What's the most thought-provoking book you've ever read? I don't read a lot to begin with but the last book I read – Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 – did make me think, largely because I felt super betrayed at the end haha.

What's the most unexpected plot twist you've encountered in real life? It's my own experience again, but basically it was how quickly I moved on from my past relationship. That, and me getting into K-pop which goes hand-in-hand with the said moving on lol.

If you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be and why? Someone who lives in New York, so I can travel around New York for a day.

What's the craziest coincidence you've experienced? I'm sure there've been many interesting ones but I can't seem to think of anything at the moment.

If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go and why? New York City. I'd love to go to their museums.

What's the most bizarre conversation you've overheard? I don't really eavesdrop much but that's also because my hearing is so poor, haha.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be and why? PR for WWE. It's the industry I'm in already, but I'd love to be able to do it for a brand that I've long been watching. I'm sure it'll be a nightmare LOL what with all the messy shit WWE deals with on a daily basis but that's the kind of challenge that makes the job exciting as well.

What's the most surreal moment you've ever experienced? Seeing Yoongi. I never thought I'd be lucky enough to see BTS.

If you could witness any event in history, what would it be? Whatever was going on in the universe (if there was one?) before the Big Bang.

What's the most valuable lesson life has taught you so far? To focus on yourself, and that comparing others' progress to your own is pointless, even unfair because we all move at our own paces.

[psychedelicmadness666]

𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖚𝖒𝖆

Remember kids, if you want to commit suicide. Just never tell anyone, anything. They will find out and make you have a reason to live. Life isn't for me. Life is painful. Drugs don't heal in the long run. It's a temporary band-aid to a giant wound.

Death is the only way out to the pain. Death is one. Everyone dies in the end

I always have the memories of the abuse people gave me. It is so difficult to live with. It's like a demonic bully decided to live inside your head. The voices, the paranoia, the delusions, the traumatic flashbacks, the nightmares, and the anxiety are all part of the demonic bullies controlling your mind. I don't have faith in God. He died a long time ago. He left and never gave me solidarity. I cry with tears of his blood. The self-harm wounds are a desperate attempt for help. No one needs to see it either. It's a heavy topic. I feel ashamed even discussing about it. My friend ignored me because of it. I felt even more abandoned. I'm glad there are other people in my life that ACTUALLY support me. She didn't. She barely did anything to help after I desperately tried to reach out to find hope. Some people just don't care. It hurts and now I see her differently. She seems so cold and distant. I feel horrible now. I don't see her as funny or attractive anymore. I see her really distant, strange, isolated, kind of heartless. She even told me one time that she doesn't understand people's emotions. It all makes sense on what she means now. Her and my old crush are both heartless to me. They just live their lives as if I never existed. It hurts so much to unfollow her because that was the end of the friendship. I had some good memories on both of them but they changed.

People change, it hurts. It will always hurt. The good times with my old crush in my memories is not the same person now. They are different. I whine and complain like a little bitchy child to them. Some people are just like that, they seem to "care" but they don't. It's a damn shame. They both are gone from my life for good. I'm just too disturbing to them. I talk about macabre topics like death, suicide, and horror. I like dark topics. She seemed to be interested in that type of topics too. So? How is my self-harm too "much" for that. She told me she can help with me getting a therapist and she didn't even bother with doing that. Straight up ignored me and didn't even bother to check up on me the next day. I felt so guilty for talking to her about my self-harm. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'm so sorry but I have no choice but to talk to you anymore. I feel like I'm bothering you. I feel creepy now.

I was sexually abused multiple times by both genders. A man groped me a couple of times at work. He tried to grab my penis and my ass. I would get perverts hitting on me. Men and women. Catcalling me, calling me sexy. I was 11 and these girls who were 15 or older would wolf whistle me. I feel weird when they do, so I feel for women when someone catcalls them. It's immature, disrespectful, and disgusting. My abuser was also a woman. She would abuse me by groping my ass. I was 16 and I think she was 37? I don't remember. She would try to take me "home." She would have probably raped me.

My friend died at a young age. He was 5 and I was 9. He got hit by a car. I remember vividly that a woman was screaming and crying that the kid we'll call "Bobby" got hit and is dead. I saw the dead body on the floor and there was a lot of blood. I was shocked and confused. What the hell just happened. I just met this kid and now he is dead. The worst summer ever. I would have nightmares for years about this, feeling guilty. I wish he survived but life is not easy like that.

I was abused by my cousin. He would beat me, hit me in my stomach, and attempt to drown me. He tortured me for weeks. Emotionally abuse me, calling me ugly, worthless, useless, and would say kill yourself. Me, 9 years old, same week as when my friend died in 2010 and him around 13 years old. My mom was also depressed and screamed a lot at me calling me dumb. I would also get nightmares about her and my cousin. Sometimes, the nightmares were so intense, I wouldn't sleep due to fears of another one. My faith in God in that age began to fade. I felt pretty depressed for a 9 year old. Kids would also throw rocks at me. I was defenseless. I had kids punch my stomach. I would get into fist fights with bullies to just to defend myself but I would lose. I was just nothing but a mere punching bag to people. My anger towards people grew more and more as a teenager and as an adult now.

Life seems so cruel.

[burythecarnival]

favorite fucking jacket. customly made by shoplastrites ☠

[angelnyxfidelartwork]

Dead men dont catcall

[keystonewarrior]

Dead Men Don't Catcall

- Kate Nyx