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slytherinslut0 · 3 months ago

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SLYTHERINSLUT0’S KINKTOBER

october 8th. tom — somno / free use kink.

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST. | 2024.

summary: tom riddle is a god at many things. you’ve never felt more alive than when you’ve reduced him to something lesser.

warnings: 18+, SMUT MDNI, free use, sleeping kink, a lot of reverence for more biblical tom riddle that i genuinely need to choke me unconscious, PIV, fingering, multiorgasm, overstim, slight bondage, dubcon but not really i mean this fic speaks for itself. tom is kinda soft here???? what happened to me??

Tom Riddle, you'd determined, was obsessive before he was anything else. You saw it long before you knew him—intimately, at least—his compulsions, the meticulous way in which he carved out his time, handpicking what fit his ambitions best before pouring himself into them until he was empty.

Tom never moved with half-measures, a man that brilliant does nothing halfhearted.

You didn't expect to become his fixation—didn't know what it meant to be seen by someone who never stopped searching—never stopped dissecting—until the moment when his eyes lingered just a second too long and his hands followed suit—the moment he taught you the meaning in the only way he knew how.

Benevolently.

Tom Riddles need is tempered but there's always something burning underneath, something that flickers to life when his breath catches against your neck—when his fingers trace delicate lines along your skin—something that feels a lot like a thank you. The magical world gave him power—dominion—but in you, he found control. The kind you give freely, without even knowing it, the kind that he takes with the same reverence in his hands he applies to everything he touches.

There’s always been a mutal give and take between you—one formed without words and you solemnize this unspoken vow because he leaves you no other choice.

And it's not by force, not by demand, but by the sheer intensity of his regard, that sacred hunger in the way he looks at you, like you were made for this. For him. To be unmade, piece by piece, worshipped in the ruins of what you once were and stitched back together by his grace alone. When he kneels at your feet after a day that's worn him thin, his eyes sharp with exhaustion— when he spreads you open as though you're a book of scripture, when his hands steady you and his mouth finds its way between your thighs—there's nothing left for you to do but hold onto him. Your fingers in his hair, letting him take—letting him consume you in ways only he can.

He is both salvation and sin. Saviour and ruin. You're not sure how it's possible but he ensures you believe it.

And it started with secret moments—stolen glances, brushes of fingers, impromptu study sessions. But it grew into something more, and then something more still, until one day he's slipping into your flat as though it's his own, finding you before you even realize he's there.

You'll be cooking dinner and without a word, he'll flick off the stove with a twitch of his fingers—a breath of magic—his appetite insatiable but not for any caloric substance. You pretend, for his sake, to be surprised by his power, the way he moves without moving, but he knows better now—knows that nothing he does surprises you anymore, not after the way he loosens the strings of your corset with just a blink, how his teeth scrape your ear in a smile as he works a spell between your thighs. Not after he waits until you're thoroughly ruined by his magic—malleable just the way he likes you before he's merciful, allowing you the honour of his touch—allowing himself the honour of breaking you further.

There's no shock left in it because you've already accepted that whatever you think he's capable of—there's more.

There will always be more with Tom—a knowledge that is a sweet, endless ache. He is reasoning made lucid. You could never define all that he is capable of.

And foolishly you thought after all these years you'd have come to understand him, but Tom Riddle is not easily deciphered—he's a mystery even to himself, a disposition of contradictions. He doesn't need to be understood; he only needs to feel as if he is, to which you do your best. But when you're finally asleep after a long day and feel the bed dipping behind you in the quiet hours—a large, rough hand grazing timidly up your thigh, comprehension of Tom Riddle becomes even more of a distant accomplishment.

There is no logic in him when it comes to you, just instinct. No explanations, just need.

Tom has always had his compulsions, but you are his favourite fixation, and so you give. There's hunger, and there's devotion. There's desire, and then there's worship. You let him choose which ones he wants from you.

On this night you stir, half-conscious yet not quite aware of what's happening as his fingers move slowly, finding the heat between your legs and spreading you gently. There's never any urgency in his movements, though the fervour is palpable—a kind of feverish desperation thrumming beneath the surface, a pulse you can feel in his flesh, in the way his breath catches as if this is the only way he knows how to breathe.

Perhaps the only certainty about Tom is that you know he wouldn't be here if it weren't a necessity.

And he does this often, though sometimes it's more—the plush of his lips, the slick slide of his tongue—but this time, he chooses to wake you to the steady push of his fingers inside you, two of them stretching you, deliberate in their rhythm, curling deep, coaxing you open. It's his mercy, his crafted version of tenderness—you know he could easily just cast a lubing charm and press right in—but he doesn’t. He paces, he savours.

It’s a patience he continually allows himself which you know he doesn't have to give.

And some nights, when you wake to his touch—he whispers for you to sleep, to let him have you quietly, other times he'll make it clear that's the last thing he wants.

Tonight—

You shift against him, instinct guiding your body, but he hushes you, gentle, soft—a tut of warning, a shushing breath against your ear. You don't know how long he's been inside you, how long his need has burned quietly beside you, but by the time you realize, it's the wet sounds, obscene, that draw you from the haze of sleep, drowning out the sharpness of his breath. You're half-gone, face pressed into the pillow, drooling— and your lips part on a moan that never fully forms.

When your hand reaches instinctively for his wrist, his growl curls low in your ear—

"Sleep," if the command was a weapon it'd be a feather—he casts a binding spell on your wrists, drawing them above your head. "I've got you."

You swallow another moan, throat dry, choking on air as you fight to rip free from whatever remnants of slumber you're clinging to. His fingers are slow, pumping in and out of you, dragging you deeper into his need—and you're shaking in a way that is as involuntary as it is habitual. You know from experience just how much he loves this— the way he reduces you to fragments, the way he breaks you apart until there's nothing left but the shattered pieces of your pleasure—the mess he can make of you in minutes, even absentmindedly.

He slips an arm under your head, pulling you closer, impossibly close. The room is dark, and though you can't see him, you imagine his face—the hunger in his eyes as his skin sticks to yours, the hard evidence of his need against your ass.

"T-Tom—" your voice stumbles, a choked whisper of his name. His hand curls over your mouth, silencing you.

"Quiet," he mutters. "It's just a dream."

His breath ghosts over your neck, and your back arches in response. Wherever he was earlier, he came back starving, and this is part of it—sometimes he wants you silent, sometimes he wants you loud. Tonight, he wants you like this.

"Stay still," he murmurs again, and you shudder, your climax pulled from the edges of sleep by the slow drag of his fingers inside you. "Just a dream..."

A dream, he says—somewhere inside you, buried under a fog of grog you know it isn't, and he knows you know, he's not trying to trick you but it's all part of the game—coaxing—the way he devours you a little more each time, not just physically but mentally too.

With your lips muffled by his hand and his fingers buried deep, you do what you always do—you let him.

"T-Tom—" you whimper through the cracks in his digits. Your body is soft, boneless, melting into his touch, aching for more. "Please—"

As much as he wants you quiet he wants his name broken in your mouth all the same. He rewards you with a bitten-off moan, a crack in his control, a slight hitch in his breath—you clench around his fingers and his palm tightens over your mouth just a little too hard before he realizes and eases up.

You did say Tom's need was tempered—but sometimes, there are exceptions.

"I said quiet." His hips rut against your ass, fingers slow dragging at your walls, scissoring in your slick. "Let me give you this."

You push back into him, desperate, needy. "But—"

"Take it." His fingers on your mouth slide past your lips and over your tongue, reaching toward the back of your throat. Tears spring to your eyes as you gag, the sound smothered by the moan you make as a spell, swirling and tightening, pulses against your clit. "With the way I'm going to fuck you, you need this...you'll thank me later for it..."

Tom doesn't waste words. His tone may be soft but it's also sharp, which tells you everything you need to know—that he's had a wretched day and you're the only thing that can make it better. That he's going to fuck out his frustrations on you.

You moan around his fingers at the thought.

"You'll want to be nice and stretched for me, won't you?" A statement, not a question. "You don't want it to hurt. You know I don't want to hurt you."

Though he'll deny it, he's not as emotionless or as lacking in empathy as he'd like to believe. It's one of the many things you've come to know about him—or should you say, one of the many things you've struggled to understand about him—but the way he says it, like he's reminding himself not to be cruel—it's all very Tom Riddle.

"I don't want to hurt you.." he repeats in a murmur, as if he's trying to convince himself. You can't speak, though you're not sure you could find the words even if you could; the only indication you give him that you understand—that you hear him—is the quiet whimper that slips past his fingers. "Just need you."

The spell on your clit is as overwhelming as the drag of his fingers against your walls and it's only moments until you're cumming hard around him and he's groaning hard in return—you know his eyes are closed and you know he's inhaling every single sound you make as though he could house them in his lungs. The darkness clings to you like a second skin but Tom clings to you worse—not relenting even as you're twitching and whimpering with aftershocks.

"There we go." You're squirming and Tom fucking loves it. "Good girl."

Overstimulation is charging in—you have no where to run from it. You bite down on his digits in your mouth and he punishes you by intensifying the spell on your clit. "T-Tom—Tom—"

All he offers is a shush. His fingers curl deep.

"I need...I need you...need this.." he's mumbling, mantra-like, almost like a prayer and perhaps that's the closest he's come to one. You can count on one hand the amount of times you've heard him say it but you know there's no one else he'd be saying it to—no one else he'd want to. "You know, I thought of this all day...having you, like this..."

You sob around his fingers in your mouth as he rips another climax from you—you think you're seeing stars and you know if you are, they were hung there by him.

"Couldn't focus.." his teeth find your jaw, just under your ear, biting just a little harder than he usually does. "No matter what I did, I just kept thinking of this...of you...of you like this for me.."

Tom Riddle is a greedy man—in all ways—but he's not only greedy in the way he takes from you, he's greedy in the way he gives to you too, and though he would never admit it—he'd rather die first—this moment feels as close to worship as he'll ever come.

As you said, there's reverence in everything he fucking touches—you know you're lucky you get to experience it.

"You have this effect." He swallows hard, you feel it against your shoulder. "You have this effect on me...I—I can't stop wanting you-“

—and he's just a man, after all. No matter how well versed in dark spells and manipulation, no matter how cold and calculating he's able to be, beneath it all he's so very mortal. He tells you he was never made for love but when he buries his face in your neck and talks this talk it sure feels like maybe he was.

And all it does is make you want him that much more—knowing that you do this to him—you make him weak. You make him want and need and yearn.

"I don't even know what you've done to me," his voice is destroyed—his thoughts cut off by the evidence of your desperation for him, the lewd sounds coming from your pussy as you suck on the fingers in your mouth. "Fuck, you're so wet."

You groan, helpless and needy as a whore. Tom digs his teeth into your shoulder. It's all too much. There are many ways to come apart and this is Tom's only true undoing—in the aftermath of the destruction he causes, and you are—his collateral.

"Fuck—oh, fuck—" you're garbling, the words don't sound like words. "T-Tom—"

You're not sure how long you've been awake or how many times you've cum—how much oxygen you've inhaled since this all started but the one certainty is that you know Tom has very little patience left—if any.

"Fuck." He shifts, grinding against you. "Can you take me? Can you take me right now?"

All you can do is nod—your eagerness evident in the pace of it—drool dribbling down your chin and instantly the spell fades from your clit, his fingers pull out of your cunt and he's lifting your thigh up toward your head, fingers still hooked in your mouth. There's a moment of movement—trousers and boxers pulled down and then he's there—thick and heavy and warm between your thighs. You tense.

You'll never get used to the size of him. His ego made flesh. Though perhaps the greatest pleasure is in knowing he'll never get used to you, either.

"Gonna—gonna fuck you." He mutters against your neck as he glides along your slit—you're soaked, slick coating your thighs and the sheets and him but it never matters much because it always stings when he takes you. Especially like this. "It won't be soft."

You moan and he finally pulls his fingers free from your mouth, dragging them down to your throat, nails against your skin that feel more like claws because for all the human Tom Riddle is he's just as much animal.

He's never known soft—only with you—but you wouldn't have him if not for all his jagged lines and sharp edges. You let him take.

"Please, Tom-" words fail you, they always do when he's like this. "Please, gods—fuck me-"

Tom growls and it vibrates up your spine. You rarely curse when you can help it—so when you do, when you can't do anything to stop the pathetic vulgarities—he likes it too goddamn much and you know he's going to give you what you want because you give him what he needs.

A mutual give and take, as all the best things are.

"No god could compare to me." He doesn't say it with arrogance, just with certainty, like a letter he's written a thousand times. Then, he's flipping you onto your stomach, wrists still bound above your head as he lines up and presses inside you—all at once, deep and full and breathtaking. "Oh, yes—"

You cry out but it's muffled by the pillow, your cunt trying hard to adjust to the stretch—Tom is never cruel, but he is brutal, and perhaps the two get confused. There is a difference, though you know he would prefer to remain ambivalent on his own harshness, it’s the only way he's managed to survive this long—but here, with you, he thinks he can allow for a bit of mercy.

And he gives it, in his own way, only because you gave it first. It's as close as he'll come to offering himself without asking anything in return. To you, it's still a pretty close second.

"I'm going to make you feel this," he murmurs, lips against your shoulder, teeth against skin and if you had any tears left, this would be when they fell. "You'll think of this all day tomorrow. You'll think of me all day tomorrow."

He pauses inside you—he's taking it slow and the implications of that fact are far out of reach right now.

"I'll think of you anyway, Tom," you grit through your teeth, voice cracking on his name as he pulls out—only halfway—ensuring you feel that emptiness before he presses back in. "I'm—ohh—a-always thinking of you."

He makes a sound, a broken sort of sound, the same one you've heard him make only a handful of times—a raw, vulnerable, almost pathetic sound and all it does is make you want him that much more. He's still moving too slow, too methodically, drawing pleasure out from deep under your skin.

You clench around him because you know he doesn't want you to—he warns you against it with a cervix-piercing thrust.

"You're always thinking of me." His hand snakes around your throat, his lips to your ear—"and are you proud of that?"

You know that's a loaded question, the answer to which he doesn't truly care to know. But it's one you'll answer truthfully, regardless—because you know it'll affect him either way.

You nod, just once—and the grip on your neck tightens, cutting off an almost sob. His hips piston faster now, as though you've chipped off another piece of his control.

"Proud enough, then," he growls, his pace unforgiving, and that's enough to tear another broken sound from you—from the both of you. His fingers twist painfully around your throat, digging into your skin like a man possessed, and you know that means he's done holding back. His mouth is next to your ear, you can feel his smirk. "M'sorry—I'm—sorry—"

He says he's sorry but you know he's not. Not with the way he's groaning into your ear, not with the way he's driving his cock fast and deep. He is a manmade monster and a self-made god trapped inside a mortal man who needs so much to feel human. He knows to be nothing but intense. It's a wonder how the three can exist in him all at once.

"T-tom-" your voice fractures around his name, the only word you know now. "F-fuck—s'deep—ohh-"

His teeth sink into your neck as he cranks your head back with a pull of your hair, bared teeth on preyish flesh and you hardly have time to worry how deep he might devour because you feel his magic on your clit and you see those stars again—distant yet creeping closer, drawn down to your orbit by his power alone.

"M'sorry—" he mutters again, as though he was saying it to your cervix. "Fuck—"

You scream out again as the spell on your clit swirls faster—the sensation unfathomable each and every time—he's fucking you so hard you're burning underneath him and though the pleasure is as white hot as the flames that now cover every inch of you, you don't fear burning as much as you fear it's passing.

He's a fire in your veins, in your blood, and if he stops now you'll die of the cold.

"So good for me," he says, as soft as he can muster for being so lustdrunk— "so—perfect. You're perfect."

Perfect. You whinge and squeeze your eyes shut—choking on your breath. The words are more painful than his thrusts because time and time again you’ve failed to decipher their meaning—you know he doesn't believe in perfection, the concept too weak and foolish for his sake—but he's said it before, always in times like this—you are perfect.

You're perfect under his hands. You're perfect when you shatter apart for him, in the darkness, under the light of those stars he dragged down for you.

"Ohh—fuck—Tom—" another climax wracks you, splitting you at the seams. "I'm—I'm—"

It feels like an earthquake and you're the epicenter, all the power and destruction Tom thrusts into you radiating from within you outward. His hand moves from your throat to your jaw, tilting your face back so he can kiss you, messily, open-mouthed and with teeth. But it's still a kiss. Something he rarely does.

"Yeah, yeah. Good—" he grunts into your mouth. "Mmfff—fuck—tight—“

A second later, he's cumming, a broken string of profanity tumbling from his chest into your mouth, release spilling deep inside you, warm and thick and he holds you tighter for it as you whimper and throb around him. Tom has always had his reservations. Always had his long list of fixations—and like you said, he pours himself empty into the ones he's chosen. It's in moments like these where you feel it more than ever—as his hips slow and his cock stops twitching inside you—the way that he's made you part of that list.

And when he's done moving through you—when he's done taking what he needs—he pulls away, yet he's still there. Freeing your wrists and rubbing them gently, curling you against him as you both descend.

"Thank you." He murmurs, face in your hair.

You tell him he doesn't need to thank you but you know it makes no difference. After all, he's still a man. A man with something to prove, even under a sky full of stars he dragged down for you.

Tom is a god at many things. You've never felt more alive than when you've reduced him to something lesser.

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theeternalwombtarot · 3 months ago

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your persons intimate fantasies about you (18+)

Message: you guys over here on tumblr have the nsfw covers and the covers for TikTok and Instagram are sweeter because unfortunately TikTok is sensitive and so is Instagram 💀 anyways, we’re in Scorpio season and I felt like it was time for me to do another 18+ reading, I hardly ever do these, they all make nervous 🙄✋🏾but for you, I will do it because who doesn’t want the tea on what their persons fantasies are about them let’s literally be for real. Stop looking at me I’m embarrassed 😞. Let’s just hurry up and do it.

***

pile one: The first card out was the sun card upright pile one, I've got some channeled messages as well that I've pulled out this person just wants to make you happy, they just want to please you. You're the top priority in their fantasies about you, I get the imagery of someone working extra hard, doing everything in their power to make sure you cum first if not multiple times, it's almost like they wouldn't even care if they finished themselves. They think you'd look pretty during sex or that your faces and moans would further push them to fuck you with their best effort. This person also may feel like you're a tough one or have a strong energy outside of the bedroom in your day-to-day life this person wants you to melt in their hands and submit to them, I'm also hearing they want you to be completely exhausted afterward, out of breath, or they want to be put you straight to sleep. Some of these people are masculine energies and have really heavy dominant traits or tendencies, care for you, adore you, may want to protect you, or be protective of you.

There's a lot of imagery of someone lying behind you or draping a heavy arm over you when you guys are finished or watching you sleep to admire their accomplishment or to make sure you're okay. I also pulled "acts of service (pleasure, aftercare, etc.) from my channeled messages so that kind of confirms the energy I'm getting from this person. They may be the type to run you a warm bath afterward, help you clean up, or make sure everything is to your liking afterward. This person is going to prioritize your needs every time, anything you do for them in the bedroom or sexually I heard "would be nice." but it's never their top priority. You may be really pretty or be someone who is really put together or would go into intimacy, makeup, and hair done, looking nice, I kind of almost get like an old school wifey vibe, the way beauty ritual for your husband/partner was a thing, like pampering yourself, putting on a little makeup, doing your hair, or putting on something your partner would like before they come home to you. This person imagines you looking good before sex with them and may even feel like you almost look your best but they fantasize about ruining all that, mascara streaming down your face, hair looking insane, lipstick swiped off, etc.

This person loves your face or your features either way though so you'll always be pretty to them or this person is really in awe of your physical appearance. Pulled "Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breast, soft features, etc.)" This person thinks your natural features are very sweet but also thinks that you're very sexy, you may have full hips, or a soft body shape, a nice waist or midriff, you may have big boobs or a soft or full butt too and this person is really obsessed with that, imagines themselves in between your thighs if you're a woman, imagines themselves caressing your skin or grabbing handfuls of your ass. I'm getting like doughy imagery, like a Greek goddess or even people who have similar body types to doja cat or someone with a south African body type or maybe even someone Somali. This person thinks your figure is the embodiment of a whole lot of woman. getting "this is a man's world, but not without a woman." This person is obsessed with you pile one, you're extremely desirable to them. I get a lot of pussy worship from this pile too, if you're a woman this person fantasizes about eating you out or lapping away at you or sticking their fingers in it.

Pulled "wet pussy." too, this person thinks you're hiding a slip in slide in between your legs and fantasizes about you being wet for them or fantasizes about what it would feel like to stick their hand in your panties or discover that you are aroused. which one of you are water signs, it's sticky in here. 😟. I haven't even gotten to the second row of cards in my spread, this person just has a lot on their mind, they dreams about you often, has wet dreams about you or fantasize about being intimate with you like clockwork, they should be getting paid for it due to all the time they devote to thinking of you. This person dreams of you desiring them though or being impressed with them, you being needy or them being the object of all your desires or someone you ache for or spend a lot of time fantasizing about. If this person is quiet about their desires or nonchalant about things like this, I hope you know they're pretending. This person fantasizes about you coming undone all over them, tearing up during orgasms or releasing high-pitched moans or making all types of outlandish vocalizations while they f*ck you. They want you all to themselves and if they're spiritual or are into spiritual thinking they fantasize about a soul-deep connection with you that makes your desire for them magnified and out of control.

I was just listening to "any time, any place" by Janet Jackson yesterday, and I had "my heart belongs to you" by Jodeci stuck in my head yesterday, I absolutely get 90s baby-making music vibes from this person. This person wants to worship you. This person wants to drag you around on the bed, pick you up and toss you around, or loves to be hands-on, this person likes to talk you through it, will tell you good job for squirting and creaming. LMAO nooo! the intro lyrics to "my heart belongs to you" being exactly how this person feels, go look at the lyrics immediately. This person also feels like you're a little shy about sex or are usually very quiet about your desires and like to keep them to yourself and this person thinks this is cute or this turns them on. I also pulled the king of cups but it landed sideways, this person is extremely sweet on you but the sideways position of the card leads me to believe this person is sweet on you and wants to cater to you romantically and be obsessed and cuddly with you but in bed sort of has a switch that they flip. This your man???? I don't know friend I had to stand up out of my seat and clap..

channeled messages I pulled:

"Relieving period cramps or menstrual pain through penetration"

"Favorite place? ; inside you."

"Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breast, soft features,,"

"wet p*ssy."

"exactly someone's type."

"finger f*cking (knuckles deep, rings on fingers,,)" yall need to be stopped.

"favorite positions/taking notes"

"eyes tearing up"/"coming undone."

special spots (g-spot,a-spot, erogenous zones on your body) this person knows what you like or will study you and wants to hit all the right spots repeatedly

"desire to please"

"wet dreams"

"sex after marriage or delayed gratification"

"acts of service (pleasure, after care, etc.")

"worship of eachothers divinity / divine feminine worship/ divine masculine worship"

"having sex in public , "any time any place"" (this person likes the idea of car sex with you, you being needy, or not being able to wait until you get home to sleep with them)

"obsessed with your physique"

"first to break celibacy or take virginity"

channeled music:

"any time, any place" -Janet Jackson (miss freak-a-leak supreme)

"Feenin'" -Jodeci

"My heart belongs to you" -Jodeci

"Just the two of us" - Bill Withers

"It's a man's world" - James Brown

"At Last" -Etta James

extras:

this person has sloppy or big handwriting

this person is a quick thinker, is witty, or pays close attention

this person has calloused hands or does a lot of work with their hands

"I will survive" - Gloria Gaynor (this song came on auto-play and was really distracting to me, I almost got up and did a back flip and put on an entire performance, you may remind this person of this song or something like it, I'm channeling a lot of 70s energy or 70s feminine energy, this person may think of you that way or you give them 70s sex symbol energy, think Pam Grier, big breasted and natural, supple skin, big hair, glamour, etc. )

beauty competitions or pageants or feminine displays of beauty like burlesque is the energy you give this person

Etta James or Beyonce in Cadillac Records (you really remind this person of vintage women in history or if you're a man vintage male figures in history, there's something this person picks up when they think of you that's very vintage, classic, romanticized or antique and valuable)

you remind this person of classic recipes or like angel food cake, classic vanilla recipes, homemade things or nostalgia specific to fragrance, touch, and auditory stimuli like music or melodies.

this person likes to eat, they're an eater and you might be as well, is a fan of fine dining but also is a fan of oral sex and likes it done to them as well, is a big fan of how you suck dick if you do oral is big in this connection. if you've never gotten good oral, this persons about to change your life or thinks of doing so, mouth wide open, chin dripping type of people.

blankets or bed being a mess, or like pillow feathers being all over the place

*****

pile two: there's a lot going on in this pile two but I feel like this reading is about to change your life or give you some huge take away, if this person is someone you're romantically invested with this is more than just a telltale on what they want to do to you. I immediately pulled the three of cups card and I was like ??? but there's a message here about this person's sexuality and sexual experiences being connected to their love lives or romance, this person has very heavy Scorpio energy, they're obsessive and possessive and heavily devoted in love but they want to make people fight for their love or fight for their commitment and devotion. This person may have third parties or like to keep their options open or may like a lot of attention and get a lot of attention but they fantasize about everything about you captivating them and making them change their ways, put their walls down, and commit/marry you.

They fantasize about you going out of their way to earn their love and devotion and then they fantasize about how they're gonna fuck and make love to you after you earn it as a reward. I pulled "best you've ever had" from the channeled messages too. This person is taken up by you and sort of admires your beauty and admires you like you're this persons "little love" I heard but they're about to turn you every which way but loose if you devote yourselves to them and prove that you truly love and care for them. This person is afraid of abandonment or has trouble with commitment but they don't really on the inside on an internal scale. this person has layers or is a complex individual but you're the one who understands them or you understand the interworking's of their mind.

This person fantasizes about exploring sex and intimacy with you or exploring each other's bodies. This person may need trust and emotional intimacy and connection to get it up for people or to even consider having sex. This person is used to being desired or people lusting over them but that is a surface level idea and they understand it's temporary unless it's built on the right foundation. They may be a virgin or be saving themselves but most people would assume the opposite. This person fantasizes of driving you wild or making you needy and crave sex with them or crave their touch, I'm channeling the energy of that scene in 40 days and 40 nights when he finally gets the girl and they don't have penetrative sex but he brings her to an orgasm with just a flower alone, like this person wants you to want them that bad. Tugging on their belt loops when you hug them, wanting to smell them, not being able to get enough of their embrace, like that!! I'm also channeling the song "Summertime" by Ella Fitzgerald and how gorgeous her voice is in that song and how in flow she is with the male harmonizer on the record. They're trying to fuse souls with you, they want to make music with you, the music being you moaning loudly.

This person imagines that you have really high-pitched moans or orgasms or they try to imagine what you'd sound like during sex by the tone or frequency of your voice, they love your voice. Thinking of you moaning drives them insane as well, one of their fantasies is to make you yell or have you be really loud to the point where other people can hear you but they don't care or aren't ashamed. If you're the type of person to cover your mouth or try to be quiet they're going to hold your hands back when they know you're close. This person is like a hopeless romantic at heart like they're badly hoping you'll love them through their setbacks or their issues to the point in which they grow, heal, and leave all that behind. You may be someone whose a little prone to loving unconditionally or loving people through rough times in their lives and you'll get your happily ever after through that energy of being exactly who you are.

this person knows how sweet you are or picks up on it when you have a hard time when they're away even if you try to put up facades or pretend, and they really like that you want them, that you crave their attention and quality time. If you're crazy and needy they love that about you. This person needs to be loved unconditionally within this lifetime. You're their person. This person is really into the idea of you guys both equally giving and receiving romantically but also sexually. This person fantasizes that you'd do anything to please them and they you. This person fantasizes about fucking you dizzy and making you forget about anyone else you've ever liked or cared for or ever wanted to be with. They see the whole nine yards with you too, the house, the marriage, the kids, the wealth!! PUT IT ON EM' MAKE EM' WANNA MARRY ME!!!

This person also fantasizes about little bouts of intimacy between the two of you especially if you guys are waiting for sex till after you're married or till after you're ready whenever that may be. they fantasize about sloppy kisses with you, getting hot and heavy and almost getting carried away and they fantasize about fingering you and the sounds you'll make when they do, they also know and think about how wet you get for them or how tight you are just over two fingers. They're obsessed with your face and your eyes too, you may have big eyes or eyes that catch a sparkle or a lot of light, and they're obsessed with your eyes and lashes, they also fantasize about messing up your lipstick or your lip combo or being covered in kiss marks by you or covered in your lipstick. lol or like kind of comedic vibe like them coming out a closet with you in public covered in kiss marks and your lipstick, looking crazy. A connection between the two of you will be very passionate and hot and heavy to the point where your friends will be able to feel the desire radiating off the two of you and after you have sex for the first time it'll be even wilder. You may even have an anonymous or faceless blog of your own when you're a little older or some years into your relationship or start writing a book to share about your sex experiences or romance.

channeled messages I pulled:

"worship of each other's divinity, divine feminine worship/divine masculine worship"

"exactly someone's type."

"Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breasts, and soft features)" Your person really loves your boobs and your skin, they feel like your boobs fit perfectly in their hands or they love your nipples.

favorite positions/taking notes. Your person is gonna study the way your body reacts to things, the sounds you make, if your breath quickens, what makes you cum the fastest, etc. They're gonna make it their lives work to know exactly what you need

"desire to please"

"acts of service (pleasure, aftercare, etc.) this person is going to be extremely obsessed with you, I just heard "whatever you'd like my love."

"relieving period cramps through penetration" I'm getting the energy that this persons going to do whatever they can to make you feel happy and comfortable like I feel like in early stages of your relationship this person would want to cater to you when you're on your menstrual cycle if you're a woman, buying you gifts, buying flowers, buying you food or sending food to your house, getting you a heating pad or making sure your water cup is full and you have the medication you need or the sanitary products you need after ya'll are done waiting they'll def be doubling all that plus sex for added relief. I'm hearing this person doesn't care if you bleed all over their sheets either.

"having sex in public. "any time, any place."

"finger fucking (knuckles deep, rings on fingers, etc.)" I feel like this person is going to live to have their fingers in your twat in early years of your connection, like they genuinely enjoy hearing your reaction to their fingers, watching your face and feeling you cum all over their fingers. But they'll be really quiet and respectful about the things you do like not telling their friends or dodging questions intending to pry on your intimate lives but will encourage you or really like it when you tell your friends about what you guys do or brag about your intimate lives to your friends.

"best you've ever had." ("and the only.") I heard them add. EEOOWWW! 😛😋 that's like their favorite thing ever, they love that.

"spending money/spoiling" prepare for Cartier and Hermes!!

"wet dreams" bros waking up in a puddle-

"medicine for the soul." aww, this person feels like you make them all better like spending time with you replenishes them of energy and optimism

"wet pussy." hasn't even had it, they clearly just knows intuitively.

channeled music:

"Smooth operator" - Sade

Tennessee whiskey - Chris Stapleton (the lyrics on this one are incredibly resonate, listen or look this one up, especially the lyric: "but when you pulled out your heart I didn't waste it.")

"back to black" - amy winehouse

"you know I'm no good" - amy winehouse

"there is something on your mind" - Big Jay Mcneely

"I only have eyes for you" - The flamingos

"I'd rather go blind" - Etta James

"A Sunday kind of love" - Etta James

extras:

nonchalant-like behavior or pretending to be nonchalant in the beginning

sweetheart

true colors

true love/heart/personality

devotion

scorpio!!!! / being testy in love

amy winehouse in general and her energy or music

"earn it." "how bad do you want me."

Mr. Grey Type or Fifty Shades of Grey being really similar to the connection

Jazz

blues music

red lipstick/lip combos

blankets being a mess, pillow feathers being all over the room

the wedding sex scene in twilight, longing for it, waiting for it, not wanting to hurt you during sex, the bed breaking, getting pregnant right away or not having to try very hard to get pregnant

"brag about it. / "telling the groupchat"

legs being sore, trying to get out of bed and immediately falling/not being able to walk straight

hair being tangled the morning after

turning you every which way but loose

"someone tell that man to get off of her."

big wedding

well endowed/big d*ck/big surprise

pent up frustration, "waited for you,"

bedroom being a mess the morning after (clothes on the floor, bottles, decorations all over if there was any, blankets on the floor, etc.)

jealous women or men, people wondering what about you has your person wrapped around your finger

"wifey. wifey. wifey." (future song trend on tiktok)

mad you left them in bed by themselves, will come to find you, carry you back

handsy/touchy

likes your perfumes or colognes or your taste in fragrances

likes your hair/likes it long, will help you do or style your hair or will help you with your hair

likes your eyes and lashes

"pretty face man"

Etta James and Leonard chess and their relationship portrayed in Cadillac records (him being taken up with her despite third party, the scene where he caresses her face AND YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR HOW SOFT IT IS UGH!!, buying her stuff/going out of his way to do stuff for her, caring for her or sympathizing with her past/inner child trauma when she's in vulnerable states)

pile three: I'm starting off the reading upright with the "Death" card. I feel like this person is someone from your past or someone that you've departed from or since left or aren't in communication with anymore. This person fantasizes about immense change or some sort of full-force transformation that results in them being married to you and having the full ten of cups energy, everything they've ever wanted, the kids, the dog, the house, the fish, the luxury mommy SUV. everything!!! this person fantasizes about being everything you want and giving everything you want, both in general and sexually. If this isn't a current connection I kind of get the vibe that there was a huge ending or tower moment that resulted in this relationship or connection closing out altogether but this person has not yet let you go whether they've seemingly moved on or whatever!!! You're on their mind a lot as well and they sort of feel like you're above them or like they don't deserve you (and they're probably right) but they're obsessed with you.

The reading started with Creep by Radiohead on shuffle too! This person may have communicated with you a lot through music when ya'll were invested and connected or there were several songs that you resonated with or that they resonated with regarding their connection. This person may fantasize about making love to you to one of you guy's old playlists made about your relationship. Tennessee Whiskey could've been significant to you in this connection as well. ALL THE LYRICS!! This person may like to drink too or like whiskey themselves, be a smoker or be a person with bad habits and bad vices. I think this person fantasizes about your heart still being in this connection and your body too. Like they wonder and fantasize about you up late at night losing it over them both emotionally and sexually. they fantasize about you not being able to get off with anyone else or you thinking about their sex when you're with other people. They fantasize about you not wanting anyone but them or having a hard time dealing with the fact that they're away and can't have them. This person feels exactly like this over you and has a hard time getting aroused or getting it up for other people unless they think about you.

This person misses the way it feels the way it feels to fuck you, if they're a man they may like being deep inside you and watching you struggle to take it all or they like the sound you make when they put it in. Or they like when you rub on them or tug on them when you guys fuck. This person's hands may have been extremely attractive to you or something about hands and fingers are significant. I like hear them saying they didn't touch you enough or savor the feeling of your skin enough or your body or they didn't finger you enough. I don't know what's up with the collective and fingering today.. anyways, whoever you're with or whatever you're doing this person feels like they have a lot of competition or a lot of options or they've been watching you and you look really good and they're literally craving your touch and sex with you. This person really likes what your vagina smells like their idea of a good day is putting their face in between your legs and leaving it there. disregard that if you don't own a vagina but I don't know either way your smell both natural and fragrance choices turn this person on or they miss it.

this person is really is really turned on by your confidence and your magnetism they fantasize about being your man or your woman or your lifelong partner and people noticing how hot you are and being upset that they're the ones who get to fuck you every day or wake up next to you. Like this person wants to be the boyfriend mentioned in "teenage dirtbag" by Wheatus who has the hot girl, drives the hot girl and doesn't give a fuck about the people who eye their person because they're irrelevant to them. This person also feels nobody fucks you like they do or like you and them know how good they make you feel or they fantasize about you having that sort of mindset. they also feel like you were designed for them or made for them like they feel like they like the way you wrap around them or how your inner walls feel or flip that to resonate with you if necessary.

I'm totally getting "complicated" by Avril, this person absolutely feels like you spending time away from them is you acting like you don't care. they're so stuck on you. They miss your mouth too, whatever you do, whatever type of oral you give is like their greatest weakness, they reminisce about the way they feel in your hands or the way your fingers feel. This person is obsessed with everything about you and it drives them completely insane.

channeled messages I pulled:

"releasing period cramps through penetration" if you're a feminine energy this person may have knowledge of you having heavy intolerable cramps and fantasizes about being the one to take care of that for you or make you feel better. it's weird because it's like this person after whatever you guys have been through now wants to be the most considerate, the most sugary sweet, the most giving, etc.

"Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breasts, soft features)" I've pulled this for every pile but there's a lot of energy in this one, they envy whoever gets to feel you in their hands, their obsessed with the way your skin feels or the way your body or waist fits in their hands, you may have a smaller frame or be shorter, they miss the way your ass feels, they've always loved that about you, and they miss your breasts, they love to put your nipples in their mouth or want to motorboat you really bad lol!

"mocking/playfullness" this person may fantasize about making fun of your moans or this is something they used to do

"worship of your divinity/ divine feminine worship" you have a lot of divine feminine energy or this person feels like you're an earth angel or you're extremely magical and they want to tell you all about that while they're fucking you, I just picture someone talking to you, affirming you, talking you through it during the act

"sex after marriage or delayed gratification" I get the energy that this person really wants to marry you but that they're also in a constant energy of longing or craving you/feeling like they have to earn sex with you and your time and attention

"eyes tearing up/coming undone" this person fantasizes about giving their all to you and fucking you until you lose it and can't handle it anymore

"medicine for the soul" this person really feels like you make them feel extremely good/make them feel better like if they're feeling upset you always fix it or if they're feeling low they know exactly who to go to. or they feel like you have a healing/magic touch.

"acts of service (pleasure, after care, etc.)” this person really desires to give back to you or give you everything you’ve wanted or did want. I get the vibe that you guys relationship the first time around had a lot of you being the type of person to pour into this person and they feel like they owe you. They want to give back to you sexually and emotionally and prove to you that they care for you I feel like

“Oral sex (sloppy head or pussy eating)” this one is sort of confirmation I feel like this person is obsessed with your mouth or your oral skills and the way you go down on them and they miss it. I feel like they’re tired of going through life with people don’t know how to suck dick or eat pussy it annoys them lol

“Period sex” this person may have done some spiritual research or has educated themselves on soul ties or even just if women enjoy period sex or not and I feel like this person wants to try that with you or see how you’ll behave when your/their senses are heightened like that, they like they idea of fucking you year around, no pauses, not for anything not even blood

“Nobody fucks you like I do.” LMFAO yes!!! This person swears by this..

“Spending money/spoiling” this person fantasizes a lot about taking you places or going places with you, buying you gifts or giving you gifts or feeling like they’re spoiling you or giving you everything you’ve wanted desire and deserve. They may even think about sex after romantic gestures

“Appreciation/affection” this person may have a love language of physical touch, is touchy, loves kissing you, holding you close, grabbing on you or showering you with love and affection. I feel like they’re tired fantasize about that in general but especially about kissing you all over your body, kissing your neck, kissing places they know make you aroused, they fantasize about worshiping your body with affection

“Studies you/pays close attention to body language” this person may have grown up with you or has known you for a long time, I’m getting a message here about it having watched you come into yourself, having learned the things you liked over the years, in general but also in the sexual sense once you guys started being sexually active. I think that’s where this person gets this idea from that they know your body like no other or nobody can fuck you like they do, this person knows what you like, what you want, where to kiss you, where to touch you..

channeled music:

"Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" -Milli Vanilli

"Killing Me Softly" - Fugees

"Can't Take My Eyes off of You" - Lauryn Hill

"Creep" - Radiohead

"Tennesse Whiskey" - Chris Stapleton

"Complicated" - Avril Lavigne

"Ain't No Sunshine" - Bill Withers

"Don't Know Why" - Norah Jones (and this lyric especially: something has to make you mine)

extras:

nostalgia or reminiscing

never-ending longing

"fucking someone else to the thought of you."

stalking your social media/looking at your posts over and over

#divine feminine #divine masculine #tarot readers of tumblr #tarot readers of instagram #relationships #tarot readers of tiktok #love #channeled message #love readings #18+ readings

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januaryembrs · 10 months ago

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BLACK CAT GIRLFRIEND | Spencer Reid x reader

request: Hey Congratulations on the 2K! Do you think you could write something with Spencer Reid and a Reader who has lots of tattoos and/or piercings? Like she's the whole "bad girl" stereotype but Spencer and her complement each other so well and have a very sweet and mature relationship. I would love something like that.

description: the team meet Spencer's new girlfriend and she doesn't look quite like they'd imagined

word count: 1.1k

main masterlist

authors note: I officially hit 2k followers this morning!! see my post here for requesting but lets start this milestone off with a bang!! thankyou so much :))))))

Morgan had to admit, you weren’t exactly what he’d envisioned when Pretty Boy had been talking his ear off for months about the girl in his apartment building that had slipped him your number. He wasn’t judgemental, not by a longshot, but Spencer had always seemed like the type to date the preppy, library geek, or even the cutesy geneticist if Maeve had been anything to go off of.

It’s not like you weren’t hot, he could see that you were a mile away, but you looked like you’d sooner break someone’s wrist for so much as talking to you than fall for their resident genius.

You smiled tightly, shaking Derek’s hand with a crushing grip, as Spencer introduced you to his team, the obnoxiously loud bass almost drowning out his words as the six of you stood in the bar.

“Nice to meet you, Spencer talks about you all the time,” You said politely, and no sooner had you let go of the man’s warm hand, two arms were thrown over your shoulders and you were tugged into a hug.

“I’m Penelope- oh you’re so pretty, Morgan isn’t she so pretty? You should marry Spencer then you can be boyfriend girlfriend for, like, life-” The perky voice was all a jumble as the blonde pulled away, cupping your face, rubbing down your arms kindly, sweetly, like you were swallowing a warm spoon of honey.

“Penelope, newbie rules, remember,” Emily chimed in, seeing your eyes widen at the sudden intrusion of personal space. She could see this ending with the pretty pink bows Garcia had plaited her hair in torn to shreds on the sticky floor, right next to her long barbie locks if your intimidating figure was anything to go off, “Not everyone likes hugs,”

“No, no,” You replied, smiling gently at the woman who was softer than cotton candy, “Hugs are nice,”

“We’re going to be very best friends, I can feel it, which is funny because my tarot actually said I’d meet a strong Taurus woman- or are you a Scorpio-” Penny’s smile was dazzling, but she was soon ushered to let go of the bear like grip she had on your shoulders by a chuckling Morgan.

“Let the other kids play with her, babygirl,” He said, and you were pulled in another direction towards Emily who gave a polite handshake.

“Nice ink,” She said with raised brows as she saw the intricate sketches that covered the back of your hands, trailing up your arm and under the band tee you wore. She knew who they were, though they only dragged up memories of her own days of thick eyeliner and rebelling against her mother. “They must have hurt like a bitch, I got one on my hip and could barely sit for one hour,”

You snickered, nodding, seeing her eyes trailing over the ones on your ankles and knees where your ripped jeans flashed them all.

“Bones hurt the most, though the one on my ass is up there for the worst ones,” You replied, and Penny’s brows shot into her hairline, though she giggled like a schoolgirl being told a secret.

“I think we’re gonna need to see the proof on that one,” Morgan teased flirtily, the way he always did, the way he did even with JJ who had a whole child and partner, because it was his natural state of being.

Spencer smiled as his team warmed to you, though he was quick to pull you to him with a gentle arm around the waist. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Derek, that man was practically his brother, he’d taken bullets for the guy, but he liked having you close, even if to just remind himself that you were all his, including said tattoo on your buttcheek that he’d seen plenty of times.

The team didn’t need to know that, but you could tell your words had reminded him of it as he pressed a shy kiss behind your ear.

He was careful to avoid the studs and links that glittered from your ear lobe, wrapping over the cartilage on your helix, though he loved to stare at them on nights where you tied your hair up and he could count every one of them. To him you were a work of art, complex and detailed with every glance he stole. You were an illustration in one of his many books, everything he imagined for himself times a million.

“I’m going to go get a drink, do you want one?” You said, looking up at him with puppy eyes, like a lovestruck teenager, fat adoration in your gaze. It oozed out of every inch of you, and JJ thought for a moment that you looked nothing like the scary doberman woman that Spence had originally brought over to meet them. You looked in love, the saccharine, soft and dazed kind of in love.

“Let me get it for you,” Spencer rooted around his pocket for his wallet, turning to see Morgan’s beer bottle running low, “You having another one?”

“I’m good, my man, you just sort yourself and your lady out,” Derek flashed him a thousand watt smile and clapped him on the shoulder as you entwined your fingers with his, pulling him through the cluster of people and towards the bar, “What a stud,”

Penelope giggled again, leaning towards her adonis best friend with honeyglow cheeks, watching their genius get led like a dog on a leash.

“Oh lover boy had got it bad,” She drawled, watching Reid, their Reid, develop an uncharacteristically protective stance as a few men at the bar shot looks up and down your body. She couldn’t blame them either, you were a sight for sore eyes. “Okay, so do I have to be the first one to point out how hot she is or have I maybe had one too many margaritas?”

“She seems nice,” JJ chose her words carefully, still not entirely sure she would have ever put the two of you together but she saw the way Spence’s eyes got round and longing when he looked over you. He’d clearly said something to make you laugh, and an inked hand raised up to brush his chocolate curls out of his face lovingly, “She seems good for him,”

A murmur of agreement ran through the four of them, Emily taking one more sip of her martini as her eyes roved over your figure returning with something fruity and colourful, “Anyone else dying to know what’s on her ass?”

#Spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic

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sparklyskies0 · 3 months ago

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𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 ౨ৎ m.s

pairings: badboy!bf!matt x goodgirl!virgin!reader

( 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 ) you and matt have been seeing each other for some time now. your parents don’t approve of him but you couldn’t care less─that’s the whole point, to prove that you’re no longer the little girl that follows the rules despite how it makes her feel. When your parents are away for the weekend, you invite matt over. Finally deciding to take the next step and give yourself to him completely.

warnings/disclaimers: smut, unprotected sex, virginity loss, mentions pain, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), nsfw..

As you awaited matt’s arrival, you paced around your dimly lit room. The smell of your vanilla scented candle filling the air. You fiddled with your fingers; you were nervous. Matt has came over countless of times, behind your parents back of course. And you were never as anxious as you are now. Because you knew, how this night was going to end. Both of you, tangled in your satin bedsheets, your naked form against his. You knew you were going to finally lose your virginity. Give him all of you.

Your relationship with matt has been going on for a couple months now. Behind your parents back and even sometimes in their face. They don't like matt at all, he's exactly the kind of guy they had warned you to stay away from. They have expectations for you, they want you to become a lawyer to follow in your mothers footsteps, marry a man they think is perfect for you and basically be unhappy. Being with a guy like matt, would simply wound that perfect life your parents want you to have. Your whole childhood was dedicated to making them happy; skipping your dance classes, which you desperately wanted to go to for those stupid dinners with their rich friends who did nothing but brag about how smart and capable their kids were, getting straight A's instead of playing outside at the park with the other kids. You were always afraid of getting dirty because your parents made you. You weren't allowed thrill or excitement. Because clean, perfect good girls who are going to law school don't get dirty, ever.

Matt was the bad boy. the whole school knew about his record and the amount of girls he slept with. He had tattoos and a motorcycle and never went to class or followed any rules whatsoever. Girls want to be with him and guys are afraid to cross him. You never wanted to speak to him ever, he was far too intimidating. But that's exactly why you wanted him so bad. He's the complete opposite of you, his world doesn't, shouldn't align with yours. Your parents freaked when you brought him home and you loved it.

After a couple minutes you were snapped out of your worried thoughts by a knock at your window. you turned around, meeting him. He crouched down outside of the dormer window. A sly smirk on his face. A wide grin plasters on your face as you walk towards the window, pulling it up and open. As soon as he fully sets inside he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist pulling you closer towards him.

You squeal at his action. Your arms wrapping around his neck. "why'd you come through the window? i unlocked the front door for you, y'know" you look at him.

"where's the fun in that?" he responds, causing a soft giggle to leave your lips. Your eyes glued to his, occasionally roaming over his features, which is something you do a lot.

His blue eyes that are sparkling in the dim room mixed with the soft moonlight blaring through the window. His soft pale skin, pinkish lips, long perfect nose. You were honestly obsessed. You could stare at him all day.

When people look at him, they see a boy with a bad reputation. drugs, motorcycles, tattoos and fighting, someone who's going nowhere in life. But you don't, you see an actually sweet (when he wants to be) guy, who's trying but also can't help but rebel against everyone's wishes. They believe he's bad news, so he's giving them bad news.

You're almost starting to believe that you're in love with him. you know you are. But you won't tell him that, at least not yet. But you trust him so much, with everything. You know you're ready, ready to take all of him in every way.

Youve seen him naked before, and you know how big he is. Which is why your hearts beating so fast out of your chest right now. "what're we doin tonight, doll? a movie?, please don't say baking cus i don't think I'm mentally prepared for that this time" he says.. The last time you forced him to bake with you ending up with him burning his hand and a mediocre cake. You don't show it but your heart kind of flutters at the fact he didn't mention anything sexual despite the countless times he fingered you and ate you out, he doesn't expect it to happen all the time. But he didn't know that none of the things he listed were on your agenda for tonight.

you tilt your head slightly, "actually, i was thinking..." you trail off, hoping he can answer for you. his face changes, the smirk on his face growing wider. You feel him tug you closer. "oh.. i see" he brings his head down to your neck, placing a soft kiss to the flesh. His lips continue to pepper kisses all over your neck, and collarbone. your head falls back slightly, biting your lip.

a soft hum escapes your lips as you bring your hands to cup his face, bringing him to look at you. his eyes already filled with desire. "i think I'm ready" you state

you watch his face contort in confusion, instead of elaborating further you press his lips against yours. His breath hitches into the kiss, a deep sigh escaping both of you.

you back him up, towards your bed. When the back of his legs hit the furniture, he falls down onto it. The kiss yet to be broken. You climb on top of him. You're not quite sure where this confidence is coming from, but you like it. It's perfect to have, especially for tonight. Your thighs straddle his sides, you break the kiss, your lips leaving trails over his jaw and neck. His hands grip your waist, loving whatever has gotten into you. He didn't know yet that it was going to be him.

You grind yourself onto him, moaning softly. He lets out a few low groans himself. "i want you inside of me.." you whisper moaned by his ear, your hot breath sending shivers down his spine. Once he registered your words, his grip on your hips got tighter. you continued to kiss his jaw, about to make your way to his lips when he stops you. "wait-what?" he speaks. You lift your head, looking at him.

you bite your lip. "ive been thinking..and i, i want you to fuck me. Like for real this time" you say. "im ready"

Matt's face softens. he lets out a soft sigh. "You think you're ready or are you actually ready?" he asks, with genuine concern

You nod "i am ready. i swear... i want you. i...i trust you" you say softly, you mean every word. He lets out another soft sigh. "i don't wanna force you to do anything, you don't have to do this..we can keep doin what we always do" he says. He's deep-down terrified right now, he doesn't want to say or do the wrong thing, he doesn't want to scare you or make you regret it. You two always just stuck to oral. he knew you were inexperienced, and you were pretty open about being a virgin and wanting to trust someone enough. He's never pressured you, he wants you to be as comfortable as possible, no matter what.

"matt i promise, i want to" you cup his face. your eyes glued to his. he was finally convinced. licking his lips he speaks, "well in that case.." he sits up, flipping you over so now he's hovered over you.

he looks down at you, the way your eyes glisten, the way your chest rises and falls. By the look on your face, he can tell how ready you were, and that only egged him on.

His head dropped down to your exposed neck, trailing hot wet kisses down to your collarbone, then to the top of your chest. You let out soft moans at the way his mouth worships your body, the way his kisses are gentle yet hungry. He kisses down to the middle of your stomach. When he stops, he looks up at you. "take this off for me, doll" his voice hoarse. He tugs at the bottom of your tank top, you bite your lip as you look down at him.

You arch your back to assist him in removing the tiny top. He lifts it up, revealing your breasts, perky and perfect.. for him. The sight made him moan "so beautiful" he doesn't hesitate to bring his head back up to latch onto the flesh. A sharp moan escapes your mouth. His tongue circling around your hard nipple. he trails a couple kisses in between your breasts licking along your skin. It doesn't take long for him to give your other breast some attention as well. He trailed his mouth down to your lower stomach, stopping at the top of your pajama shorts. he looks up at you, a grin growing on his face. "this is about you doll, all you" his voice low in a mumble. His fingers hook your bottoms. bringing them down slowly, your white lace panties revealed to him. You squirm slightly, your teeth tugging on your bottom lip as he works.

Once your shorts were brought down to your ankles you kick them off. Matt places kisses up your thighs, his hands spreading your legs apart. after your legs are as open as he wants them to be he stands up. "take those off." he says his head nodding to the clothing that's blocking what he considers heaven. You obey, removing them from your body. While you do that, matt pulls his shirt over his head, discarding it somewhere in the room. He's now shirtless in front of you. "get yourself nice and wet for me, doll" he says, his hands coming down to unbuckle and tug his pants along with his underwear down.

You take your fingers into your mouth, getting your index and middle finger wet, bringing them down to your already dripping core.. wetting the flesh more. You run your fingers along your folds, moaning at how his cock springs out when his pants fall down to his ankles.

He strokes himself, the precum visible on his pink aroused tip. he makes his way back to you. "im gonna stretch you out with my fingers first okay?" he says softly. You nod, your eyes on him. He's fingered you before, but this time it feels far more different.

He settles himself between your legs again. wetting his fingers with his mouth before bringing them across your slimy folds. You moan at his fingers, your hips rolling against them naturally. He eases his fingers into you, causing you to hiss slightly.

He continues to push his fingers inside you, stretching you out. You moan at the feeling. As soon as you adjusted his fingers curled and he began to finger fuck your tight cunt.

"mm fuck" you moan, your body arching up. "yea baby, y'like that?" he murmurs, his fingers keeping up his torturous pace. Your moaning becomes more louder, and struggled as you feel the pit in your stomach grow. "mm shit just imagine how you'll sound with my cock inside you"

His fingers pick up. Your orgasm crashes over you, you let out a loud strong moan as you release over his fingers. "mm..thats my girl" he hums, his fingers still pumping inside you slowly, riding out your high. Once his fingers leave your core he brings them to his mouth, soaking up your juices and licking his fingers clean. He brings his head back down to your center, his tongue comes out to taste you. Dragging in between your folds, sucking up the rest of your juices and wetness. After he licks you clean he leaves a kiss to your pretty pussy.

He comes up, hovering over you once again. "you ready doll?" he asks, his eyes scanning for any doubt, wanting this to be just as real and perfect for you than him. When you nod, your eyes looking up at him, almost pleading for him; he knew.

"okay, its gonna hurt, but only for a second...tell me if its too much and we'll stop" he speaks. letting out a nervous sigh. "hold onto me baby"

You bring your arms up to wrap around his neck, pulling him down closer to you. He kisses you gently, yet passionately. He was waiting for this moment, and so were you.

As he kisses you, his hand grips your leg, lifting it up more, he does the same to your other one. He's settled deeply in between you now.

His hand latches onto his member, lining it with your entrance. His tip rubbing teasingly against your wet glistening folds. He places multiple kisses along your cheek and jaw before attaching your lips back together. Wanting to be able to swallow the sounds of your pain for you as he slips in.

He slowly pushes himself inside of you, his thick member barely in yet you still broke the kiss with your hiss of pain. "shh shh i know doll i know" he comforts against your lips. continuing to kiss you

"just relax.. i got you, m' right here"

he continues to push himself inside you, your moans of pain honestly breaking his heart. But this is what you wanted, and he knew it will subside eventually.

Once he was fully in. he stayed still, wanting to give you time to adjust to him. "its okay, you okay?" he lifts his head up to look at you. His thumb coming to wipe away the tears at the corner of your beautiful eyes. "i-it just hurts..im okay though" you admit.

Matt nods understandably, "we can stop if you want" He gently caresses your face

You shake your head, "no...no i want this" you say

you suddenly feel the pain that was once invading you slip away. You had adjusted to him, to his size, to the feeling of his cock buried deep inside you. "you can move.." you speak

And with that, he thrusts into you slowly. You let out a soft sigh, the pleasure slowly creeping back into you.

"you feel so good babydoll" he hums, the feeling of you clenching around him. So innocent, and so his.

"mm matt" you moan, as he thrusts his cock into you at a slow sensual pace. "it feel good, doll? my cock deep inside you...is this what you wanted?" his voice low

You nails dig into the back of his neck as you hold onto him. The pleasure, the feeling of his thick cock stretching you out too good to bare.

Your moans were like music to his ears, giving him the permission and encouragement he needed to increase his movements and move into you faster. "o-oh fuck" your mouth opens wide. His hand reaches for your thigh, lifting it up more for him to fuck you deeper.

He continously hits a certain spot inside you that has you squirming underneath him. "mm just like that doll, your s'good" he moans

"tell me how it feels baby...how does my cock feel inside you"

"fuck matt, it feels s'good.." you moan. you pull his face closer, nipping on his shoulder to silence yourself. "mm fuck dont do that baby," his hand cups the side of your face "i wanna hear you..hear how good im making you feel" he looks you in your eye.

His pace quickens, wanting to bring you to the edge. He can feel it, with the way you clench around him, the squelching sounds being the tell of how wet and close you are.

"i want you to cum doll, cum on my cock please" he pleads

your eyes squeeze closed as you feel a pit in your stomach, you've felt them before.. but this one feels stronger. his cock so deep inside you making you feel things that were far more foreign to you before.

"no no no, open your eyes f'me doll. let me see you" he groans. you open your eyes, meeting his lusty half lidded bedroom eyes. "look at me while you cum on my cock"

He continued to thrust into you deeply, your legs trembling from the sensations. His hands let go of your sides, coming to find yours from around his neck. He intertwined your fingers, holding both your hands. He brought them to both sides of you. Holding them tightly, not wanting to let go. Pinning your hands down he smashes his lips against yours. His hips moving at rapid speed, slamming into you.

You squeeze his hands, your moans muffled and uncontrolled as he swallows them.

You break the kiss moaning loudly, your breath shaking and uncontrolled "ah.. ah fuck im cumming!" you announce. that only made matt let out a gutteral groan and fuck into you faster.

"shh.. yeah thats it baby..come on doll" He encourages, kissing your neck, leaving bites and marks. You moan loudly, your body shuddering as you cum.

Matt immediately takes you into a kiss, swallowing up your beautiful sounds. He was right behind you, one single thrust and he stilled inside you. The feeling of his thick warm load shooting inside you. You could barely keep your eyes open. Trembling from your release, and still feeling matt fuck his cum into you. Riding out both of your highs.

His face buried into your neck, his own body shuddering against you. "you did so good doll...my good girl" He places wet kisses to your flesh.

He waits a moment for you to calm down, before slipping out of you. You gasp at his action. your body jolting up. Matt winces for you, "i know, m'sorry" he apologizes knowing how sensitive you must be

He collapses next to you. you turn on your side facing him, your head resting on your hands. He leans over, placing a soft kiss to your bare shoulder. "you okay?" He asks. His voice filled with genuine concern.

You nod "yeah, I'm okay..im happy" you answer, the corners of your mouth curing slightly

"good." he says, relief taking over him. "was it..how you imagined?" he asks, needing to know if there's a chance of regret.

"Better." you smile.

He returns a smile back, his hands trailing the curves of your side. "c'mon, lets get you cleaned up"

ᥫ᭡ Authors Note

this is so long lmfaoa

obsessed with matt as a bad boy

#sturniolo triplets #ᥫ᭡ sparklyskies0 #ᥫ᭡ ❛ xoxo paris ❜⸊ ᥫ᭡#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo imagine #ᥫ᭡ good girl reader ꣑ৎ

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suiana · 4 months ago

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yandere! parasite who decides to inhabit your body after observing you from his previous host. you're so cute! you'll definitely be a lot more comfortable to be in over this... fumbling fool that's obsessed with you.

the switch is seamless and you don't even realize that you have a parasite in you until he speaks.

you were stunned, where did this voice come from? you look around you, thinking your boss or coworker had called for you... only for the face of a... translucent and handsome looking man to appear right in front of you.

"hey!"

"what the- where did you come from? wait a minute who even are you?"

"you're so silly. isn't it obvious that i'm a parasite and you're my host?"

"a... parasite?"

you freak out, thinking you have brain eating worms in you as you break down in the middle of your job. fortunately, the lovely parasite in you takes the time to comfort you through your brain.

he tells you that he won't kill you and that he's a symbiotic parasite. that he'll just co-exist with you for as long as you live. that he won't interrupt your life whatsoever, he just needs a place to stay, you know?

at least that's what he tells you and himself.

unbeknownst to him, he had... unfortunately adopted certain characteristics from his previous host. and what did that include? his obsession of course.

he doesn't notice it at first. he was just acting like his normal self, observing your day to day life for about a month or two while interacting happily with you through brain messages. everything was fine and dandy! nothing out of the ordinary for the both of you except for the fact that you now had a parasite in your brain.

and he was quite useful actually! improving your health, boosting your physical strength and stuff... it was so freaking cool! you never knew you could do all these things!

plus, he was so sweet! you two were definitely like a pair of really good friends even if you just met a month or two ago! he's just perfect!

that was, until he saw someone confessing to you.

he didn't understand what was going on. why did his chest tighten up at the sight of some other person confessing their love to you? why does he feel a sudden rush of... anger?

he turns to watch what you do and he swears he only feels more anger at how you react. cheeks flushed, pupils dilated...

no, he couldn't have that.

meanwhile, you were totally flattered by the sudden confession. especially when it was from this cute nerd from the IT department! maybe you'll accept- wait, wait, wait! why was your body moving on its own?!

"you belong to me."

the parasite in your brain mumbles as you lose all control of your body and begin walking away from your admirer. what the?! he's never done this before! why's he taking control of your body?!

"hey! give my body back!"

"how could you do this to me? i am hurt, my dear host."

you couldn't even respond, too shocked to even say anything before you try to resust again. obviously it wouldn't work but it doesn't hurt to try.

"hey cut it out! i thought you said we're just living together? what's this? you totally messed up my chances of getting with someone!"

you were about to snap back when you feel a cold dread creep up your spine. shit, you forgot he could control everything in your body.

you could only watch in horror as he brings your body back to your apartment before he forces your body onto your bed. his translucent body appears in your vision once more, pinning you to the bed. you couldn't even resist even if you tried. he controlled your brain after all.

"you're my host, therefore, you are mine. i do not understand what's so hard to understand."

gritting your teeth, you could only allow this parasitic admirer of yours to stare down at you while grinding his hips into yours. damn, what's he trying to-

"hah... you're so cute... i love you so much... can i explore you? I'm so curious. I've always looked away when you were bare but..."

you couldn't even say no if you tried. your body was responding on its own. damn it! his brain controlling abilities were too good! maybe you should be a parasite in your next life.

"ah... is that a yes? god, i love you. i love you, i love you... i love you so much my darling host."

...

were you about to have mental sex with the parasite living in your body right now?!

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere concepts #yandere parasite #yandere parasite x reader #gn reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

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yanderenightmare · 4 months ago

Note

Modern day soft (well, as soft as he gets lol) bf sukuna hcs PLEASEEEEEE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Ryomen Sukuna

♡ TW: NSFW, underskirt peaking, ish innocent reader, not really hcs but anyway

♡ fem reader

He starts liking you by chance and entirely against his own will. Having a girlfriend is not something he had in mind.

He'd have girls then and there, don't get him wrong, easy one-night stands out on the town if and when he urged for it—even had a couple of sluts on demand he was familiar with—girls he knew would let him fuck them the way he wanted to, but they weren't any special.

And then there's you, who, by all means, shouldn't be any special either. But goddamn, you stick out like a sore thumb, how could he not notice you? The way you handle the back alley bar as if it's a cozy little day café with your fresh-out-of-college appeal, he can't help but think—what on earth is a sweet thing like you doing working here at the wrong side of town after hours?

Well, at least you can pour a drink. But still, what was the owner thinking hiring someone like you—a little lady in a skirt who can't even reach the top shelves without standing on a stool? It's almost to laugh at, and he would, but... sitting on his usual spot right at the counter, he's able to look straight up your skirt and see your pretty pink panties and that awfully teasing way it cups your cunt.

And it's absurd! Because he's seen and done so many depraved things in his life, seeing up a girl's skirt shouldn't be any different, but then that's exactly it—you were different. Not like any of the sluts he's had on his belt, you're... well... you're many things, but a slut isn't one of them. But he would love to make one out of you.

He gets a little drunker than usual nowadays—always requesting top-shelf stuff. You think he's a real big spender—completely unaware he's doing it all for a glimpse. Sitting there, twirling his bourbon, daydreaming what it would be like to have someone like you in his bed. He bet you would squeal a lot—you seem like the type who'd whimper his name and cling to him. You'd whine if he pulled your hair, cry if he slapped your ass, and be real shy if he made you cum on his tongue.

It's a nice thought. He might have jerked off to the image in favor of calling on one of his arrangements. But a thought was all it was. A girl like you would never do anything like that with a guy like him. After all, working at a shitty place doesn't warrant you need to stoop to the same standards. And you were still no closer to fitting in.

You'd been a little wary of him at first. Always by the counter right next to you—rough voice and a chronic harsh glare. His face tattoos didn't help either—looking like a seasoned gangster even though he couldn't have been all that much older than you.

No matter how much you pour him, he never seems to get very drunk. But it's not all the strange either, given the size of him—bulked and built like a bear. His muscles are so big you can see every cut of them through his tank—it's a surprise the fabric holds. He barely even fits through the door.

But he's a quiet guy. Studious. It seems he's always got something weighing down his mind, and given you're the bartender, and he's your best-paying and most regular customer, it might be high time you took it upon yourself to ask him about it.

"'Penny for your thoughts, big guy?" you ask, rubbing the residue from the bottom of a glass.

He doesn't seem like he's going to answer, and you feel regret for even having asked in the first place—like, geez, why would a rough and tough-looking guy like that share any of his thoughts with you? What were you thinking?

"Why do you work here?"

You stop to look at him, blinking. You didn't exactly expect a question in return. "Uhm," you hum in nonplus, unsure how to answer. But then again, the truth isn't so hard to relay. "I dropped out of college."

You have to giggle at the raised eyebrow he gives you.

"Don't look so shocked," you say, busying yourself with wiping down the dew rings left on the counter. "I just found out it wasn't for me. All those sheep walking the same path, eating the same grass, listening to the same boring shepherd... I thought I'd enjoy being a wolf more."

He scoffs softly, more so in acknowledgment than appraisal, you think, then looks down into his glass—his expression as dour as always, unreadable.

"You don't look like a wolf," he mutters at last, taking an indifferent swig.

Of course, you could have left at that. You knew most people would find your reasoning silly, but if you were to be a wolf, you'd have to flash your teeth, puff your chest, and prove it.

And so you do, "Well, that's 'cause I'm still in sheep's-clothing!" A smirk on your face as you fold your arms atop your chest with a raised chin. "But you better watch out! 'Cause one of these days, you'll walk in here, and I'll be even fiercer-lookin' than you."

That stunts him—even more so than your speech earlier. This time, he isn't even able to keep the surprise off his face. Who would have thought you'd be this brazen? Definitely not very sheep-like, even though you look it.

He scoffs again. Maybe he'll help you out...

"Oh yeah?" he grins—and it's the first time you've seen it. Almost a sneer, but way more charming than that—loud and unapologetic with a voice to match. "How 'bout you come to my parlor after your shift, and we get started on dirtying that pristine sheep fur of yours?"

And to his surprise, you don't even waver.

"It's a date."

That night, you get your first tattoo and your first time seeing stars, being folded flat like fresh laundry, and made to cum on a stranger's tongue piercing until screaming.

♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

#ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #jjk ryomen #sukuna ryomen smut #ryomen x reader #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #yandere sukuna #yandere ryomen sukuna #yandere sukuna x reader #yandere sukuna ryomen #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jujutsu sukuna

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thedivinetarot · 4 months ago

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Light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul [Pt.2]

Who is your future spouse?

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind.

3) Take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head. And open your eyes. The pile you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Note:

- This is a general reading. So, please take what resonates with you.

- Please, Please and I will say it again PLEASE DO NOT think of anyone. Not your EX or crush or EVEN someone you are currently dating. This reading about your future spouse.

- Also the energy is not set in stone. So don't be surprised if your choice change after a period of time.

Lots of love

Arya

Pile 1 - Eternal kiss

Your current energy:

I see that this pile is feeling trapped and lacking something. Pile one I feel like you lack clarity regarding a situation in your life. I'm not really sure whether it is love, or work or even spirituality. I feel like this pile is paralyzed. They are trying to find clarity about something, but you can't even put your finger on. I feel like you are looking forward. You are between the past and the future. I think this pile have been dealing with something and when they found their clarity they are now ready to move on. I see that this pile are deciding whether to stay or leave this chapter and letting go of that situation. You've been trapped into that situation for a long period and now you are choosing to move on and close that chapter. You have succeeded in fighting the demons in your head. You have done the right work, you are taking care of everything. I salute you pile one. At the beginning of this reading, you were confused, paralyzed and you lack clarity but then you realized that the situation doesn't really deserve the energy you are pouring into it. I see that after you healed yourself and closed the chapter you finally received the blessings from the universe. This pile’s energy is sooo great! Guys I feel like the things you manifested are on the way. They are coming so soon especially if you are manifesting clarity or news regarding something. The universe is going to show it to you in the weirdest way. So, be open.

Who is your spouse (personality)

I see that this person is very defensive. To be honest if you are someone with high masculine energy this person is your opposite. He have a very feminine energy. He is nurturing, sweet and motherly. I see that this person is explosive. This might be something negative about him. Or he catastrophically; changes a lot. He might be pluto dominant or scorpio in his big three. I see cancer and Capricorn too, so take what resonates. People with pluto dominant changes a lot internally. I see also that this person is lazy? Or slow? I see that this perosn might be working in a bad job or he hates his job honestly. Like this job gives him a lot of money but he doesn't really like it since there’s a lot of pressure on him. This person like to work in groups or he is an extrovert. I see that he might be insecure physically OR possessive. Again I see that he is so wise and Intelligent. I see a lot of emotional maturity here. This person really loves to take care of people and help them. You see those men with mbti ENTJ or ENFJ 9w8 in movies? I'm picking up on someone like that. Also there's emphasis on the voice too, he might have loud tone. Very nurturing and sweet but manly at the same time. He might even help you balance your feminine and masculine energy. Oooh now I got it pile one! Maybe in the beginning of your relationship with him (the initial stages) you might think he is lazy, feminine and spoiled. But then he will truly show you WHO IS THE MAN at the end of the day. I see that he is the true gentleman that every lady dreams of. I see that despite his emotional side or nurturing side he knows how to take care of other stuff like work, finances and you wink wink ;). I see that once he commit to you; you'll be HIS forever. This person is not the "Oh it didn't work out goodbye" type of person. No he is "Let's work on it" type of person. He is so reliable. And stubborn omg pile 1 that's wonderful now let's look into his physical appearance.

His appearance

Well, I guess this person is naturally beautiful. He might have brown or dark brown hair with light or dark eyes, take what resonates. He has a very light to medium skin tune. Or even olive skin undertone. Also I see that he might be your type or he might be someone you are comfortable to date physically. You might feel comfortable or like how he looks. I see that his aura make you feel safe and cared for. You see that video on tiktok to a girl returning home late in the subway, she was anxious and scared and then she saw a guy with a calming and serene aura that his aura helped her to calm her anxiety down? He might be like this. I see that his weight is medium for his height to a little overweight or curve. I see light eyes also. Between hazel, green or even light brown.

Now, let's look into his finances.

His financial state

I see that in the beginning of his career. When he started earning good amount of money, people who dated him or people in his life used him for his money. But now I see that he matured honestly. I see that his financial state is very good. Like he might earn above the average person and he is very smart dealing with his finances. You see I feel like he gives off daddy vibes. He might spoil you rotten. Like if you were someone who dated dusties he will come in and swap you off the ground and show you how a real man treat his baby girl. I see that financially, he is so generous and giving. Especially for people who he care for. Like if he cared for you or if you want to know that he truly appreciate your presence he will pay for everything that's what I'm seeing. I see also the energy of someone practical. Very practical guys.

So, when will he come into your life?

I got 2,6,7. So after 2 or 6 or 7 months, again take what resonates this is different for everyone. July and November coming in strongly. You guys might meet in those months or this person is born in one of these months. Guys I see that he might be someone you already know. He is not giving any Ex vibe no I'm not seeing that. This might be someone you have brief encounters with. You might went on a date with them or someone from your hometown or childhood. Could be a childhood friend? Maybe. Or someone you dated when you were in school. I'm picking up on a neighbor too.

Possible placements (U or them)

Taurus, Aquarius, Capricorn, cancer, leo. Also I see Venus, Pluto, Saturn dominant energy. Also I see 2nd, 11th, 10th, 4th, 5th house stallium or his big 6 in one of these houses.

Pile 2 - the engagement

Your current energy

I'm picking up on multiple energies in this pile. So, I see that some of you guys started your healing journey and now you are finally seeing the results. I see that this pile is channeling their inner pain into something creative like painting, drawing or writing. And if not; you are channeling this pain into physical activity like working out constantly, and going out to take a walk. Something like that. I see that other people in this group is my artistic people. You are working on a project, a painting, or a book for others I see active manifestations here. You might be manifesting healing, romance or an Ex. Guys what did I say before about moving on? It is so frustrating! Stop trying to manifest a dusty please. Embrace the abundance mindset. Believe me pile 2 you deserve better honey. That person is not that good for you so don't be delusional about them and do not manifest them. I see that this pile also are taking very good care of themselves. Like you are taking care of your health, your mental well-being and overall your fitness level. Or if you are not manifesting someone then I think there's someone (romantic offer) or an Ex who want to get back with you. In this situation (the ex) you decide whether you want them or not. Please be wise pile 2. The dominant placements in this pile are air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius), Aries, capricorn. Mercury, and Uranus dominant planets in your chart.

Who is your future spouse (personality)

Well, I'm picking on a very taurian energy, venusian. This person might be a Taurus, Aries, Cancer. Venus, Uranus and mars dominant. I see that this person is very practical. His mind function when he thinks about money or money is everything on his mind, he is a materialistic person to the moon and back. It is so hilarious 😂, he is very generous, active physically or energetic. I see someone in a constant motion. Also this person is so handsome/pretty? Yeah he take good care of himself. He live in the present moment, his whole life is the 24 hour in his day. He have no regrets over the past and no anxiety over the future. He is so earthy and possessive. He sees his people, or people in his life as his territory. Like you are his and his only. This person might be your twin flame or soulmate. He might enter your life out of the blue. I see a geographical distance between you two. I see that this person is feeling down lately. I feel like he lack motivation or he feel disappointed because of a problem in his job. I see that he is childish or optimistic. I'm picking up on a volcano, this person is like a volcano to be honest. He might display a poker face but inside he is overwhelmed by emotions. You see Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice? Like he was madly in love with Elizabeth but she never knew because of the stern face he show her. This perosn had a terrible past. I see that he was constantly being lied or deceived to. I see that he had a very heavy karmic lessons. Especially about deceit or lies, people might have used him because he was naive and childish. I see that he is so nurturing. His only goal right now is to work hard on himself and his finances/career. I see someone who is disciplined too. This person enjoys the finer things in life or expensive things I'm seeing. This person adores MONEY he breathe money. But he is so caring and gentle at the same time so don't worry. I see that he is a little bit insecure about how he looks. He doesn't see how beautiful he is, you see those models who complain about their insecurities to the internet but they are drop dead gorgeous. He is like that.

His physical appearance

Okay, this person and you have a wonderful chemistry together. So, I think his physical appearance might compliment yours. He might have a similar features. You see those people who date but everyone thinks they are siblings? He is like that. People might think you are siblings because you kinda look alike. I see someone with medium height. Curve or chubby. Light eyes (Hazel, green, grey) and light hair (dirty blonde, blonde, very light brown hair) round and cute features. I see that this person look like he is smiling or smirking even though he is not. Or his eyes, it seems like they are sparkling. Straight hair to wavy too. Pale skin, light skin and medium skin tone. This person is not too tall not too short. His height compliment yours. Like if you are short then he might be short between men. And if you are tall he might be very tall compared to men around him. This person's physical appearance might be so liked or desired by people. Or there's something sensual about him. Or he is sexually appealing.

His financial state

I see that this person's family or your future family in law financial state is very good. They might own multiple houses or multiple what do we call it? Mmmm lands? Like not estates I'm not seeing this, you see when we go and buy a piece of land? So we can resell it or use it to build something on it? This person's family have this and he might have inherited from his family. I see that his job or career requires him to travel, he might work in the court or justice. He might work in a lawyer office or he is a lawyer himself. And this job give him lots and lots of money. His financial state is sooo good. He never really faced a rough patch regarding finances. When he was young, he never really had to deal with poverty or anything like that no.

So, when will he enter your life?

I see 3 months and 5 weeks from now. This person might watch you or observe you from afar. He is so sneaky. He might push one of his friends to introduce you to him. I see a social event okay. And you are mingling and chatting with people and friends. So, he use this and come to you. And then this is how it is going to happen. This person might enter your life in June, July or he might be born in those months or his birthday on the 6th or 7th of the month (any month).

Possible placements

Taurus, Aries, Capricorn, cancer. Venus, Mars, Uranus as dominant planets in their chart. Or 2nd, 1st, 10th, 4th house stallium or his sun or big 6 in these houses.

Pile 3 - Wounded love

Your current energy

Okay, this pile’s current energy is so happy and giddy to be honest. I see that this pile are finally releasing an old relationship and healing from it. I see that you are feeling more confident and proud because you finally realized your own worth (as you should baby💋). I see that this pile are dating someone or already getting to know someone romantically. I see that this pile were single, got disappointed by someone and then they healed and now they are moving on. This pile is moving on to a better version of themselves and above all more confident. I see that right now you are discovering or seeing how many romantic options you have. I see also that you are helping someone to prepare a birthday party. I feel like this party is for a boy, young boy to be specific. And if it is not a birthday party then you are planning a wedding and helping the family with preparations. I see that you are so excited too. So maybe the person you are going to date or crushing on is going to come to the party and you are so excited and nervous. I see that this pile are coming out of the hermit mode. After a long time of healing and solitude. Anyways, I see that you are finally enjoying the present moment. You are happy of how things are. You might be someone who used to link their happiness to something/person or anything and if that thing is not around you get depressed. But now you finally detached. And got stronger and more resilient. The cards are very joyful; sooo enjoy pile 3. The dominant placements on this pile are fire placements (Aries, Leo and sagittarius) and water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces) I see that you might have your sun or moon in the 1st, 5th, 9th, 4th,8th,12th house. You might also be sun, moon and mars dominant too. So, take what resonates.

Who is your future spouse (personality)

First thing I'm picking up on I someone very strategic. Someone very witty and smart. I guess this person is someone you dreamed of (you saw in your dreams) or subconsciously you manifested those traits. This person is so hot and sexy. I see that his aura is very sexual. Like people can't really resist how charming and sexy he is. I see that person is very blunt and if not blunt then he might be very honest. Like he is very straightforward. What is on his mind is going to be told to you with no filter. I see that this person is very sure of themselves. They are very confident and rigid. This person is very generous or his energy or his appearance is very big. I feel like he is the type of person that when he enter a place all eyes are on him. He is a seducer and he is not ashamed of that. I see that this person have all the tools and he know how to use them. Not to mention that this man is soo dominant. I see alot of masculinity. His voice, there's something about his voice that make him stand out. I see that this person is hard on the edge but very soft and sweet inside. I'm not sure if you are into Japanese anime or not but he might be a tsundere; which means someone who displays hard mask but inside they are a softy. I don't know why Christian grey came out all of sudden. I think this person have Christian Grey's energy. Dominant and horny. This person is very much like that. You see those dilfs who are irresistible? He have their energy. This person was very controlling before. I see that controlling thing didn't really help him or it drove people away from him so he is now trying to change this habit. This person, really knows how to manipulate things to his advantages. I see that he knows exactly when to shoot his shot and when to hold back. I see also that this person was either an alcohol addict or someone with destructive behaviors. And if not so, I see that this person might have anger issues. Also aggressive, I don't know why this aggressiveness came through but this person is kinda rude and aggressive to people whom he don't like. This person is very swift, he have hot temper. If you are not comfortable with someone like this then you can chose another pile. But I see that you are a sunshine and this person is the grumpy baby who feel weak in front of his sunshine 🌞. I see that this person usually look grumpy, but when they see you they change 180° and become that cute tamed cat.

His appearance

This person is taller that the average. Very sporty. He worked soooo hard on his body. I see that when they stand or enter a room they easily draw attention towards them. I see brown or tan skin. This person is tanny. Anyways, this person is so sexy omg. And his... Ahem is very large or big. I see that this person is dirty blonde or have a very light brown hair or he dye his hair in that color. I see also curly hair, and wavy. Might be afro too. This person knows how to dress well and he have a very magnetic aura. Sexy is coming through again. I see that you might be so picky with your taste in men. Like no one easily is liked by you. But when this person enters your life, he will be everything you dreamed and prayed for. Glasses, I see he wear glasses. He is like a sexy nerd if you understand what I mean. The eye color range from brown, grey, hazel. But mostly brown. This person's shoulders are wide. Very wide compared to the rest of his body. Also I see someone mascular. He is lean and mascular. I see that his face shape is triangle, he have pointy chin. The voice as I mentioned above. His voice is very demanding. Scary, it can send shivers down your spine. I see that he scares many people and he got told that many times. So, good luck with being able to face all of that.

His financial state

This person have a job but it doesn't really pay that much. I see he have money, average wage what I'm getting. I don't see someone rich, no. I see someone who is average. After his first saturn return he will earn more money. His job might require him to deal with children. To be a role model for children. So he might be pediatrician, or a teacher or a children mentor. I see that he is very good at dealing with babies and kids. He loves them. I see that this person work with a woman or under the supervision of a woman. And she pay for him. This person is in the education system. He is educated, have higher education. And he is now a new member in the organization he work in. He still struggles a little with money. But I think when you meet him, he will be in a better place. That's what I'm seeing. They are telling me that he is still a page; which means he is a fresh teacher or a new member in his job.

When will he enter your life?

I see 7 months and three weeks. I see also that you might know who this person is. You might be dating someone right now and if yes then this person is your spouse. I'm not seeing any Ex here. You might know this person because of someone, an older man introduced you to them. And if not then you may intuitively know who your future spouse is. Also, if nothing from the cases I mentioned apply to your case. Then, you might intuitively know this person but your head (ego, rational thoughts) is telling you otherwise about it. I feel like you can't accept the fact that someone like this is your spouse. There's an advice to this pile; believe in your intuition. That person is your spouse stop ignoring it.

Possible placements for him

Air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Sagittarius, Capricorn. Jupiter, Pluto, Mercury dominant, Air dominant. Stallium in the 3rd, 11th,7th house. A little bit of pisces. Or 12th house stallium.

Pile 4 - the gifted lady

Your current energy

So, I'm picking up on a male and this male (doesn't have to be) or a person is from 20 to 35 (This age range) is either love bombing you. Or pursuing you continously. I see that you are kind of anxious or blinded whether this person is serious or not. I see that this person is smart. He could be a sagittarius, or Aquarius. I see that this person feel that you are easy to get or you are in love with him that any action he does will woo you. What you feel about him is happiness, you enjoy this person's company and you truly like them I see that you are very daring when you are with them. Or this person make you feel like you have infinite possibilities. I see also that this person knows that you love him that's why I got this energy of surrender from you. You might like this person or even in love with them but you feel like they are distant. And you can't truly understand why are those things happen to you. If this is not the case, then the second energy I'm picking up on is that someone is coming in with a love offer to you. This person is emotionally unavailable so please don't bother to build something with them. I see that this person's main motive is sex. If you are expecting to hear from this person; they will text or call you soon. They will offer you two to meet up and you know (hook together). I'm not really sure if you want to be with this person but nothing really will come from them. Nothing serious. I see that you are not seeing things clearly. This person, might come and present himself as someone good and fun to be around but he is a fuckboy so don't give him anything to fuck. Or if you want to then it is on you 🙃. Also I see that many of you know the motive of this person but are paralyzed by their emotions or how they feel towards this person. Please honey leave that dusty to his momma. You need your spouse not this. Anyways, I see that this pile is considering to travel soon, I see a trip after 2 or 3 weeks, days or even months. The dominant energy on this pile are fire placements (Leo, Aries or sagittarius) and air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius).

Who is your future spouse (personality)

I see someone who is very sensitive. Someone who is really shy and dreamy? I'm picking up on a piscesian energy to be honest. This person can detach and leave any situation easily. I also see that this person have a unique perspective on life. He might be someone who is drawn to spirituality and if not then dark science. Like tarot, astrology, magic, occult, Satanism or anything that is considered taboo in your country, this is a general reading so take what resonates. This person is very spiritual too. I see that this person is carefree and can influence anyone easily. You see those people who are cult leaders? I see someone (your spouse) who can change anyone's perspective about the subject he is interested in. Let's say that you think magic is harmful okay? This person have the ability to convince you that magic is not really that harmful. What I'm picking up on also is that this person is very good at persuasion. He knows how to win any argument. This person is very responsible despite his dreamy nature. I'm also seeing that this person is very fair. He doesn’t manipulate people at all. I see someone who is isolated or you know a lone wolf. A classic ISTP or ISFP; since this person is not so rational or you know not ruled by their head or brain. This person is balanced, or when you meet him; he will balance out all the areas in his life. I see also that this person is currently collecting money or working very hard. I see that when you meet him, he will be already lunching a project that is related to his career. This person is smart too. And if not then wise beyond his age. Idk why I'm picking up on mercury in pisces. He might have this placement. I see that this person is not so extrovert, you can say he is selectively extrovert. He got to chose who he spend time with, very selective regarding people.

His physical appearance

Well, first thing I'm picking up on is that this person look exactly like one of his family members. He might have a twin or look like his father or grandpa. I see also that this person will have great chemistry with you too. I'm picking up on green and hazel eyes, round face or chubby face, someone who is blonde, brown or his hair color is caramel. This person is very sexy and active. He might not be mascular but still he goes to the gym and do the things that most gym bros do (channeling his frustration into working out). This person's face is very baby like or he have baby face or he look younger than his age. You see those people who you think are in their 20s but they are in like their 30s? This person have this thing. Also this person have a sunny aura. Or a golden retriever energy. Another thing is this person undertone is very fair; almost pale. And if not he have medium or tan skin color. He look boyish or childish. Hmmm, I'm not sure if this apply to everyone but this person physically is sexy or hot I mean his body but his face is very boyish or cute. He might have a light beard too. I don't know why but his ears might be pointy? Yeah I'm picking up on a pointy ears too. His hair is wavy or straight. This person's height is between medium to tall, mostly between 5'9 to 5'11 (175 to 180). His smile is very prominent. And yeah guys I think the smell? He use trendy perfumes. Or if not his perfume could be so special it lingers in you thoughts.

His financial state

This person work as a soldier and if not then his effort got used in return to a very low wage. I'm not saying that he is now broke but he was broke before. I see that someone hired him and used his time and energy to underpaid him. You see those people who work in malls? As cashiers or even clean the floor? This person endured that job and got nothing in return. And then I see that one day he met a man and that man helped your spouse to get a better job and even better payment. I see that your spouse struggled a lot financially. His family perhaps wasn't really that supportive of him so he had to work and earn the money. Now I see that your spouse in a better place financially, there's no more debts on his shoulder. And honestly I see that he possibly might have worked multiple jobs just to earn money and support himself. I see why in the beginning of this reading I felt like he is paralyzed and stuck! Because his financial state literally traumatized him.

When will he enter your life?

10 weeks from now, the cards are telling me that this person will enter your life all of sudden. Or if not then there's something traumatic that is going to happen to you and at that time your spouse will be there. He might enter your life after you broke up with someone or if you're not dating anyone then you might witness a divorce of someone around you. Capricorn season is prominent here. So, this person might enter your life via a woman who is a Capricorn or have earth placements. I see also that you might intuitively know that this is your spouse. Or you might be having a spiritual awakening at the time he enters your life.

Possible placements

Libra, Cancer, Pisces, Aquarius, earth signs (Capricorn, virgo and taurus). Moon, neptune, Saturn dominant in their chart or he have sun or moon or his big six in the 7th, 4th, 12th, 11th house.

Post date: 7th/Sep/2024-Sat

*Feedback is appreciated

#free divination #free tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot community #divination #divination readings #metaphysical #occult #tarot pac #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarot #pick a picture #witchy #witchblr #spirituality

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junezsq · 4 months ago

Text

cigarettes

steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: you hate the way cigarettes taste and when he finds out he decides that maybe it’s time to quit

established relationship

warnings: alcohol, (underage) drinking, partying, smoking, a few swear words, make out scenes

word count: 3.6k

a/n: someone get me somebody like steve ugh!!!! the way I feel like he'd do anything for the people he loves :')

── ᵎᵎ ✦

by the time you’d filled up the kitchen counter with all the different types of liquor you could find it felt like you had run half a marathon. to be completely honest, you were still in shock about how one household could own this much alcohol in the first place.

the sound of footsteps echoed throughout the hallway towards the kitchen and when you glanced sideways you smiled at your boyfriend walking towards you. “hey,” you pushed yourself off the counter and motioned your hands at the kitchen island, proud of the set up you’d made, “tadaa! what do you think?.”

he chuckled, “you didn’t have to.” he looked over the full counter before looking back at you, taking a few steps closer so he was able to place his hands on your waist, “it looks great, sweets.”

you shrugged, “i wanted to help.” you smiled, moving your hands along his chest and up to his shoulders. your eyes flickered up to his hair, which he had carefully styled in the time you’d been setting up the kitchen. the devil on your shoulder told you it’d be fun to run your hands through it and mess it up a bit. you didn’t want to force him to undergo the entire styling process again though, which would result into him missing the start of the party he was organizing, “it was a lot though, is it all yours?”

steve glanced over at all the bottles you’d picked, “it’s my dad’s.” he looked back at you, raising his hand to carefully tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. you raised your brows, “and he lets you use it? i bet my dad would kill me if i drank even the tiniest bit of his precious liquor.”

“i don’t know.” he moved his hand back to your waist, “he’s never home long enough to check.”

your gaze softened as you softly squeezed his shoulders in comfort. you knew how difficult it had been, and still was, for steve; not having his parents home for majority of his life. “luckily, you now have me to irritate you.” you tried to lighten the mood, successfully, because he let out a soft chuckle and dipped his head to sweetly place his lips on yours.

you let yourself melt into the kiss for a short moment before pulling back, leaning your forehead against his, "on that note," you bit your bottom lip, slightly smirking as you leaned backwards so you could look at him again, "could i stay the night?"

steve smiled at your request, "you know you don't have to ask that, sweets." he softly squeezed your hips, placing a quick peck on your lips. "but if you do, you have to help me clean up."

you giggled, moving to stand on your toes and reconnect your lips with his. you felt him smile through the kiss and you slightly tightened your grip on his shoulders when he pulled you closer against him.

the sound of the doorbell ringing throughout the house interrupted your moment and a laugh escaped your throat at steve throwing his head back in annoyance. you softly patted his chest, "i'll open the door."

steve watched as you walked off around the corner and towards the front door. god the things you did to him. there was never a moment he looked at you and didn't want to smother you with kisses. he was sure he could kiss you all day, everyday, and never get tired of it. he shook his head, a small smirk playing on his lips as he turned to the kitchen island, grabbing two red cups to fill them up with a drink he knew you liked.

the first to enter were some you recognised as steve's friends and a couple of your classmates. you decided to keep the door unlocked so no one had to worry about constantly hearing the obnoxious sound of the doorbell.

while you made your way back to the kitchen you widened your eyes, surprised by the amount of people that had arrived in the span of a few minutes. you muttered a couple sorry’s as you squished yourself through the crowd and a breath of relief left your lips when you’d finally reached the kitchen.

your eyes fell on steve, who was talking to someone you vaguely recognized as someone from your school year. you dusted off your hands on your jeans as you stepped closer to them, “hey.” you breathed out, and at the sound of your voice the two immediately turned their heads to look at you. you glanced down and caught sight of the two cups in steve’s hands. “what’cha got there?”

steve followed your line of sight, “right.” he glanced at the guy next to him, telling him he’d find him later that night to continue whatever conversation they were having, “here you go, gorgeous.” he turned to you and handed you the fullest cup, clearly already having drunk from the other one.

you thanked him as you took the cup from his hand, a small smile playing on your lips, “you didn’t have to cut off your conversation with …?”

he chuckled, leaning back against the counter, “joshua.”

“right,” you nodded before taking a sip of your drink.

“it’s fine, we still have the entire night to finish that.” steve kept his smile playing on his lips as he took your free hand in his, pulling you closer to him, “and i needed to give you your favorite drink.”

you playfully rolled your eyes at his words, “you’re such a cliché, harrington.”

“don’t act like you don’t love it.”

“hmm.” you stilted your head, trying to appear as if you were in thought, “maybe.”

steve smirked at you, softly squeezing your hand as he pulled you even closer against him. he immediately smashed his lips on yours and you returned his smirk through the kiss. you tried your best not to spill the drink you were still holding in one hand as you untangled your other from his, moving it to the back of his neck.

his tongue swept over your bottom lip, as if to ask for permission and so you moved your hand up to slightly tug on his hair in answer. he groaned softly at the gesture and tightened his grip on your waist, slowly starting to loose himself into the kiss. he couldn't get enough of it. of you.

"yo, harrington! stop sucking the life out of your girlfriend!"

a voice called throughout the kitchen and you giggled as you pulled away from steve. your hand was still tangled up in his hair when you glanced to the backdoor in which eddie was leaning against the doorpost. you playfully rolled your eyes and looked back at steve starting to carefully fix his hair.

"you're just saying that because you're still bitchless, munson." steve shot back, removing his hand from your waist only to immediately wrap his other arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. you instinctively wrapped your arm around his middle.

"whatever." eddie scoffed, pointing his thumb over his shoulder, "you comin' outside?"

steve's gaze landed on you, his eyes searching your features for a hint of your thoughts. you smiled at him, "go! i'll try and find robin or nancy."

"are you sure?" steve's eyes were focused on yours and you gave him another reassuring smile, "yeah!" you detached yourself from him and softly pushed him towards the backdoor, "go!"

"alright, alright," steve chuckled, leaning closer to you again to place a quick kiss on your lips, "don't let anyone get close to your drink."

you giggled at his protectiveness, knowing he would stay by your side the entire evening if you asked him to, "i won't, now go! eddie's waiting." his hand found your cheek as he leaned in for another soft kiss. you smiled against his lips while slightly pulling him closer by his collar.

“harrington!”

eddie’s call-out made him draw back with a stupid grin playing on his lips, “see you later, yeah?”

you nodded, letting go off his collar to softly pat his chest, “see ya.” your own smile didn’t recede as you watched him stalk off towards eddie and out the back door. a soft breath escaped your lips before you quickly downed your drink. time to mingle.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:

the chatter and music died down as you stumbled through the hallway, trying to make your way towards the bathroom. at the sound of a door closing you glanced backwards, but the quick movement caused you to loose your balance. before you could fall face first to the ground though, a pair of strong hands found your waist.

“shit, sorry.” you grumbled, automatically grabbing their arm to straighten yourself. when you found the mystery person’s face you immediately widened your eyes in surprise, “steve!”

it was obvious you’d had a drink too many; the strap of your top had fallen of your shoulder and your hair was completely disheveled. steve chuckled at your excitement and let go of your waist to carefully readjust the strap and place some hair strands that were stuck against your lipgloss behind your ears, “what’s up, sweets?”

you shrugged, “nothing much.” steve’s hand found it’s way to your upper arm, causing your insides to warm up at his touch. you slightly raised your brows when you remembered something, “i found robin!”

“you did?” steve let his thumb rub small circles on your skin.

you nodded eagerly, “yeah! only a moment after you went outside, she walked into the kitchen. she made me a drink, actually!” you started rambling, “it was really good! not as good as the one you made me, but maybe, like, a close second!”

“a close second, huh?”

you hummed in response, “and then we talked for a while, i don’t remember about what, though.” you lightly tilted your head in thought, but gave up quickly, “doesn’t matter, because then we went dancing for a bit, and after that she made me another one of those drinks. that one wasn’t as good as the first one she made me, though.”

“that’s too bad.” steve’s eyes went over your features while he listened carefully, “and then … you ended up here?”

“yeah,” you smiled at your boyfriend, “i was on my way to the bathroom, but now that i think about it, i don’t really have to pee.” you shrugged and steve let out a soft chuckle.

you slightly tilted your head, placing your pointer finger against his chest, “what have you been up to, handsome?”

an amused grin was playing on steve’s lips and you swore you could see small sparkles glowing in his eyes as he looked at you, “well, while robin was playing your personal bartender, i was outside with eddie and a few other guys from our year…”

you tried your utmost best to focus on whatever steve was telling you, but for some reason all you could look at, and think of, were his lips. they were just too pretty to not look at. you swallowed, flattening your hand against his chest as your mind started wandering to what his way too perfect lips could do. what they’d done to you already.

“are you listening?”

his voice pulled you out off your trance and your eyes flickered up to his, “huh?”

he raised his brows teasingly, “what are you thinking off?”

you let out a soft breath, “sorry, it’s just … i wanna listen to what you’re saying,” you trailed your hand up to his cheek so you could place your thumb on his bottom lip, your own lips forming a small pout, “but all i can think of is your lips and how badly i want to kiss them.”

“do you now?” steve smirked, your thumb moving along with his bottom lip as he spoke. your eyes intently followed the small movement.

“yeah…” you let out another sigh, “wait! is this what you meant when you told me you wish you could kiss me 24/7?” you blurted out, tearing your gaze away from his lips to look him back in the eye.

all steve did was let out a soft laugh. his hand slowly creeped up your arm and to your hand, removing it from his cheek so he could intertwine them, “i did tell you that, huh?”

“i get it now.” your focus landed back on his lips as you softly bit your own bottom lip. the things you’d do to the male standing in front of you if his house wasn’t full with people right now.

he pulled you closer by your hand and leaned slightly closer. his forehead was almost touching yours and when he spoke in a whisper you felt shivers form along your spine, “you know you can just kiss me anytime you want, sweets.”

“i know.” you whispered, detaching your hand from his and moving it, along with your other, up to the back of his neck. his hands instantly moved to your waist. you smirked lightly as you pulled him closer; your foreheads now touching, “but what if i want you to kiss me?”

steve chuckled before connecting your lips with his and you felt yourself instantly relax. “you’re crazy.” he spoke in between kisses, softly squeezing your hips.

“about you, yeah.” you mumbled against his lips, tangling one of your hands into his hair; wanting him to be as close to you as possible.

you raised yourself to stand on your toes just as his tongue darted past your lips and into your mouth. a soft groan escaped steve's lips as he tightened his grip onto your hips. just when you started to melt into the kiss, you could taste a bit of nicotine on either his tongue or lips.

you pulled back slightly, which steve took as a hint to trail his kisses down towards your jaw and neck. your brows formed a small frown in thought. was it your imagination or did he really taste like cigarettes? wanting to find out you placed your palms on his cheeks so you could tilt his head back up and move back into a kiss. as soon as your lips touched his again, you knew you were right.

you leaned back, "did you smoke?" you asked, your eyes on his and his face still cradled in your hands.

steve blinked in confusion, "I did ... outside with eddie and the others." he let his fingertips slip just underneath your top as he spoke, under the impression you already knew he'd smoked earlier that night, "why?"

you threw your head back and let out a groan, “ugh.” a sigh escaped your lips, letting your hands slip down to his shoulders as you looked him back in the eyes, “ now i don’t want to kiss you anymore.”

steve's brows knitted together, getting more confused by the second, "what? ... why?"

"i hate the taste of cigarettes." your lips formed a pout as you spoke, "kinda makes me want to throw up, actually."

"really?! i didn’t know that."

"yeah..." you nodded, starting to play with the collar of his polo.

steve slipped one of his hands from underneath your top and reached up to tuck a stubborn strand of hair behind your ear, "so if I kiss you again right now, you'll throw up..?"

you giggled softly, "okay, maybe, not literally throw up." your eyes went over his features as you spoke, "i just think it tastes awful."

"right." steve slightly tilted his head in thought.

when you noticed you softly squeezed his shoulders, "I'm not saying you have to quit smoking, or anything! you can do whatever you want." you smiled affectionately, "i just won't kiss you right after you've smoked ... maybe you can eat a mint or brush your teeth?"

"alright." steve quickly nodded, still slightly thrown off by this new information. "yeah, i can do that." he smiled at you, moving his hand back to your waist, "wouldn't want to miss out on kissing you, now would i?"

a giggle escaped your lips as you reached your hand up to softly ruffle his hair, “i’m going to get some water, sober up a bit.” you smiled, brushing some hair away from his eyes, “see you later?”

even though you already knew his answer your smile grew slightly when steve hummed in confirmation. you raised yourself on your toes to place a kiss on his cheek, his hands instinctively squeezing your waist.

you gave him one last smile and steve watched as you walked off. his eyes stayed on the doorway through which you had just disappeared a moment longer before throwing his head back. all sort of thoughts were circulating through his head; he couldn’t stop thinking of the conversation you’d just had.

he ran his hands through his hair before placing them on his hips. how had he not know about this? he though of all the times he’d smoked, coming to the conclusion that none of them had been around you, and that there’d always been quite some time between taking a cigarette and seeing you.

steve sighed and let his hand slip into his pocket, taking out his lighter and a pack of cigarettes; the thought of not being able to kiss you slipped into his mind. he ran his free hand through his hair once more before stalking off towards the kitchen.

he squished himself through the crowd, mumbling a quick sorry when bumping into someone. a voice he vaguely recognized called his name but he ignored it as his thoughts were elsewhere.

when he reached the kitchen he instantly went for one of the counter cabinets and opened it to reveal the trash can. he took one last glance at the cigarettes and lighter in his hand before throwing them away. a small breath of relief escaped his lips; it almost felt as if he should’ve done this way sooner.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:

when steve wasn’t able to find you he decided to take a breath of fresh air and go outside for a bit. while he ran his hand through his hair he closed the back door. he was still wondering if he should tell you he’d decided to quit smoking tonight or if he would wait until after the party; not sure if you had managed to sober up.

“look who we’ve got here.” he glanced up to find eddie already looking at him, a stupid smirk grazing his lips. eddie reached out his hand that held a pack of cigarettes, “want one?”

steve shook his head, “thanks, but i can’t.”

“what?” eddie slightly tilted his head, taking a cigarette for himself before stuffing the package into his pocket, “didn’t you smoke one with me earlier?”

steve watched as eddie casually lit up the cigarette, “yeah, that was my last one.”

“your last one?” eddie knitted his brows, exhaling the smoke, “ever?”

steve shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. he had never been a big smoker, he’d probably describe himself as an occasional one; parties, etc. however, having eddie point out so specifically he’d taken his last cigarette earlier that night, it made it sound so official. “yeah, man.”

“why’s that?” eddie tapped his cigarette, his eyes focused on the male in front of him.

steve shrugged once more, “promised my girl.”

the moment the words had left steve’s lips, eddie perked up, his eyes widening and a stupendous smirk growing on his own lips, “no way.”

“what?”

eddie exhaled some more smoke and slightly pushed steve’s shoulder, “aw, my little stevie is in love.”

steve slightly rolled his eyes, but stayed silent as he let his eyes wander over his backyard. eddie’s smirk grew even larger at his silence, “dude, you’re not even denying it!”

“okay, shut up.”

eddie opened his mouth to tease steve a bit more, but closed it the second his eyes caught on the back door opening. when he saw who was making their way outside he grinned back at steve, placing his cigarette against his lips, “speak of the devil.”

steve knitted his brows in confusion, turning his head towards the direction eddie was looking. at the sight of you his brows and posture relaxed instantly and when your eyes found his he couldn’t help but smile. you returned his smile and walked closer to the pair, “hey, i was looking for you, actually.”

“were you now?” eddie tapped his cigarette, “i’ve been outside the entire night.” he playfully smiled at you.

you let out an exaggerated gasp, your eyes falling on the curly haired, "no way! dang it, I should've come out here sooner." you giggled softly.

eddie exhaled some smoke once more before peaking away his cigarette, "too bad and too late, cutie, because i'm going inside now." he sent you a smile and glanced at steve, softly patting his arm, "good luck with the whole 'no smoking' thing, buddy."

your eyes snapped to steve, who obviously cringed at eddie's words. the curly haired called out a goodbye; you waved at him but kept your focus on your boyfriend, "what did he mean by that?"

steve bit his bottom lip, his eyes avoiding yours, "yeah, uhm, exactly what he said. i decided to quit."

"what?!" you exclaimed, reaching out your hands to place them on his cheek so you could turn his head and make him look at you, "but i told you, you don't have to do that."

"but i want to." steve's eyes finally found yours.

"why?"

steve instinctively moved his hands to your hips to pull you closer towards him, "because i can't miss out on kissing you."

you couldn't contain your smile as you let your thumbs softly caress his cheeks, "you're crazy, harrington."

"about you, yeah." steve returned your smile when he repeated the words you'd uttered to him earlier that night, "you know i'd do anything for you, sweets."

#steve harrington #steve x reader #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #fluff #stranger things au #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x fem

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astroismypassion · 6 days ago

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Relationship and Compatibility Takes 📍📍📍

Credit @astroismypassion

This is purely based on real life, more so astrology opinions about placements in the Natal chart, so don’t take things to heart.

📍 Cancer Venus men: What is up with them? I think this is one of the placements that is so misrepresented in astrology community. They act really impulsively based on emotion without careful reasoning or thinking of the long-term consequences. The clingy, emotionally mature and wise must be Cancer Venus women then. They are attracted to younger partners. Loves giving food as a gift, even for birthdays. Even when committed, they are not that incredibly loyal and devoted as often described, I’ve seen these people change partners fast or end a partnership on a whim. Also, minus points for not being as affectionate as they are often described. Low key this Venus sign does not give me any stability vibes, they are highly unpredictable (each day is different), must be up there with Gemini, Aquarius, Virgo Venus.

📍 Capricorn Moon: These people attract people with father issues or those who don’t have a father present in their life. Usually Capricorn Moon’s partner has life-long challenges with the father. The partnership with Capricorn Moon can weigh them down, but only after years, this becomes noticable. Loves younger partners.

📍 Gemini Juno: having a Gemini Juno as a partner is a very unique experience. They will remember your favourite snack, song that you mentioned on the first date. However, they do demand a lot in return! They like someone as equally thoughtful, observant and some who just pays attention to everything they say, do and how they react. Gemini Juno native, however, really just loves simple picnics in nature, going for coffee with you, cooking with you, watching films with favourite snacks. They are in love with all the little, simple things in life shown consistently and usually don’t need big gestures.

📍 Ascendant Pluto aspects men: Loves to date significantly younger partner from what I’ve seen. They always go for someone unassuming and less popular than them, but who is really kind, sweet and cute. Genuine kindness and being a good person is so important to them in a partner. However, likely to choose a younger partner, so they can better control them. I said what I said, they can’t help themselves.

📍Pisces Moon: Low key loves to be bossed around. They attract controlling and orderly partners, because they crave a sense of structure that they lacked as a child.

📍Aries Moon: They are looking for a partner with rules, who will bring discipline to the relationship and someone who will dominate them. These people are so soft and obedient around their family members, close friends or a partner! They just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, like ever.

📍Aquarius Moon: They love travelling with their friends, even with a couple third wheeling like a really throuple. Some even go camping with friends often. They love having traditions with friends, like for halloween or like a yearly ski trip. This is either a city boi turned country boy or vice versa. Someone who lived in the country their first half of live and later moved to a bigger city. They are kinda urban people, but then always complains about wanting a more peaceful environment.

📍Pisces Mars: Quite literally the dick that doesn’t know any limits. So struggles with boundaries, if their feelings are involved. These people are lead by their emotions. If they still like you, they will want to touch you. Low key, sometimes disregards whether you are in a partnership or not, because they don’t even care, because their emotions are involved. But they do give plenty second chances, benefit of the doubt! And you will feel like it is incredibly hard to walk away from Pisces Mars, just because they are trying to have that eternal bond with you and it shows! They really want to keep you in their life forever, if they feel like you two are vibing well!

📍Scorpio Moon: Now, this is just alltogether an unique one! I argue this is the most unique, complex and interesting native, because each is so specific due to their lifestory and experiences. They have really one-of-a-kind life and energy and you will feel it! However, yes! They are obsessed with themselves (like JLo), but usually is rightly so! They are the highest earner in the company, your rags to riches lifestory hero, someone who had a transformative effect on their field. They usually have controlling partners.

📍Taurus Moon: Why does every Taurus Moon I know behave like a Libra Moon? 😩 They are either single and content for a while or can be constantly found in a partnership. This doesn’t mean they are codependent, just always find themselves in a partnership. Though, they do heavily rely on emotional support from their partner, because they don’t receive it from their family.

📍Gemini Venus: For what I’ve seen a lot of Gemini Venuses met their “real love” partner while in a marriage or partnership to someone else.

📍Libra Mars/Mars at a Libra degree (7, 19): They are low key so erratic😭. Their behaviour towards you is constantly switching up. This makes them appear chaotic, inconsistent and indecisive, very hot and cold behaviour as well. They are actually really critical of people around them. They have a tendency “to discipline” their partners. They can be tactless, out of all Libra placements this is not a peaceful mediator, but the one that stirs conflict between their partner and their family. And at the first moment they seem to be fed up, they end the relationship and find a new one. They switch partners a lot and have dated quite a few people in life, but always for a shorter period of time. They struggle with keeping a partnership for 2, 3 years. They also desire really flexible, compromising partner who go along with their wishes.

📍Leo Venus: some say that if you have Leo Venus as your partner, that this means you are really good-looking. They are realy sweet, but demanding. It’s not a walk in the park to get them OR to KEEP them. They are selective. But their downside is that they struggle not with getting a partner, but keeping them. I think they have a hard time holding onto a relationship, like any other Leo placement (I’m looking at you Leo Moon and Leo Lilith👀).

📍Capricorn Venus: Ahh, these are my late bloomers. Best not to get tied down to a marriage before your first Saturn Return. These natives when younger, before the age of 30, have a skewed idea of love, partnership or marriage. It’s best to do some soul searching and getting to know your values, expectations before entering a partnership. Because this is why they experience so much disappointment in younger years. Their old age is the time to get coupled up! And also, really take the necessary time to understand yourself. You usually when younger just get along with whatever your partner suggests!

📍Aquarius Venus, Venus at an Aquarius degree (11, 23): Surprisingly, they could have a committed partner and still a “friend” with whom they are romantic on the side. They are romantic with their friends a lot of time, consciously or unconsciously.

📍 Leo Mars: They are more Leo Sun than the real Leo Sun, if you ask me. Surprisingly emotional! But they are quick to forgive you, if you acknowledge and validate their emotions. They need a partner that will make their perspective heard. When they feel under-appreciated, they act out, which leads to dramatic frustration or hurt. Also, they are constantly act in ways that they seek acknowledgement, validation from their partner. But they will celebrate you in return! If you are acting too shy with them, it’s also a no go for them!

📍Taurus Mars: Surprisingly controlling, like Virgo Mars, likes routine and predictable partnerships, they dislike flaky people. They will resolve conflict only if they believe in the long-term of a partnership! Otherwise, they will sink that partnership. Need a lot of validation from partner. Also, they seek drama and conflica when they sense you ignoring them or pulling back too much and this is kind of unexpected from them.

📍Cancer Mars: Wants to build a home or family together with a partner or completely runs away from the idea. They cherish memories, traditions and milestones, can be sentimental and nostalgic in this manner. They often look back on your shared memories together and reminisce. However, be mindful, they struggle with letting go of past hurts, grievances in the partnership. Because they withdraw so often, you are likely to experience misunderstandings with them!

📍Mars in the 10th house: They are trying to create business, legacy and personal success with their partner. They seek a partnership that aligns with or enhances them. Attracted to people who excude strength, authority or have a commanding presence. Usually Mars in the 10th house takes a leadership role in the partnership, so prepare for this! They also want to constantly influence the direction of the partnership. Or wanting “to guide” you! They might attract partners for the wrong reasons, such as status or mutual gain, rather than emotional compatibility, so beware.

📍Sagittarius Mars: Hates controlling partners. They dislike predictability and stagnant energy, unless this is indicated by other aspects. They love idea of building and growing a partnership. They desire new levels of commitment. Loves someone who is enthusiastic about going to a new coffee shop, wants to try new cuisine. They crave a balance between closeness and pursuing own interests, passions. Because they are so blunt themselves, they expect their partner to do the same! In conflicts, they prioritize truth over sensitivity and that’s the hard truth about them! They are incredibly playful, like what you would expect from a Leo Mars, often create spontaneous plans, trips. They are restless and struggle with focus in long-term partnership.

📍Virgo Mars: They attract a lot of emotionally constipated, emotionally unavailable people (which is true for Gemini and Virgo placements in general). They naturally worry or have anxiety about the partnership. They struggle to see the bigger picture when in a partnership. They are conflict avoidant. But they do need a partner that is stable, deliberate, attentive and not overly dramatic. They always need a sense of well organisation in a partnership in order to thrive.

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luveline · 2 months ago

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hi jade! I remember a while back you wrote a drabble about hotchner!reader having a really bad panic attack and Spencer and Aaron helping her at the hospital, and it gave me a lot of comfort to read it. would you be interested in writing something about Spencer and Aaron taking care of hotchner!reader as she adjusts to her new meds?

—Spencer and your brother, Aaron, take care of you when your new prescription gives unexpected side effects. fem (adopted) 2k

When things got quiet at home, you’d get tense.

Your apartment is silent. No whir of the heating, no washing machine clatter, no voices. You sit on the couch with your legs pulled up, turned to the armrest with your cheek pressed to the seat's backing. Your phone is in your hand at a low percentage. You’ll get up to charge just as soon as you can remember what you’d wanted to be doing in the first place.

Spencer was going to call you. He’s sweet, really. You didn’t expect for love to feel easy; you never thought someone could like you without allowances. You’re quiet sometimes, your nerves are shot. You ask for reassurance too much, too often, and you don’t believe them when they’re given.

You aren’t smart, or funny, or particularly hard-working.

But Spencer loves you, you’re almost certain. Or maybe he’s just content to be half happy. It wouldn’t surprise you if he called you to break up with you —what use have you been to him lately? You’re tired everyday. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you never want to go out. You can barely make it through the working day.

Your phone beeps in your hand.

Outside, it says. If Spencer’s there, please make sure he’s fully dressed.

You manage to smile weakly. Aaron saw Spencer once getting out of the shower, and he was dressed, thank you very much. You hadn’t done anything salacious as he might’ve assumed from the situation, just showered together, but Aaron always lets you know before visiting now.

Doesn’t ask, by the way, but you don’t actually want him to. He’s like, the only good thing in your life beside Spencer.

Aaron lets himself in and finds you immediately. “Hey, honey,” he says.

He slipped into the affectionate older brother role not long after meeting you, and he’s been worse since you were in the hospital. Which is to say, gentler with you.

He slips a bag of groceries onto the counter. He pans around the room. It’s cleaner than usual here, but none of the lights are on, nor the TV. You can see him notice it.

“You okay?” he asks, pulling groceries from the bag. He’s brought milk, bread, eggs, and fresh soups from the nice store nearby. “It’s quiet in here.”

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah? Any wobbles?”

He’s asking if you’ve had a panic attack or anything like it, but for the last few days you’ve felt veritably numb. “I’m okay,” you say.

You should bring up your symptoms. Clearly, lexapro either isn’t right for you or the dosage is too much; you’re a zombie these last couple of days. Medications don’t always work straight away, so for a time you’d felt like your script was useless, serving only to make you nauseous, but the sickness has finally gone away.

He opens the fridge to put away the groceries. He’s sliding the bread into your bread box when he says, “Honey, aren’t you gonna answer that? Your phone?”

You blink down at your phone. Spencer’s contact glows in front of a green background.

You click answer and pull it to your ear. “Hello?” you ask softly.

“Hey, angel. How are you feeling today?”

You clear your throat. “Fine.”

“I was thinking I’d come over?”

“You’re outside?” you ask.

“How’d you know that?”

“Must be something in the water.”

“I’ll come up now. I brought some things for dinner.”

You manage your first laugh that dreary day. It’s nearly normal. “Okay. I might not have room.”

Spencer promises to be up quickly and disconnects the call. You lift your chin to find Aaron already looking at you. “Do I look okay?” you ask.

“Beautiful, don’t worry.”

“Is this an ambush?” you ask.

“Not an intentional one. Can I make you something to drink?”

He’ll make you something you like, you trust. You try to sit properly on the couch before Spencer gets here, rubbing under your eyes, checking there’s nothing on your t-shirt and sweatpants. It might not matter if there were, you know Spencer thinks you’re pretty without makeup or fancy clothes, but he doesn’t necessarily have to be truthful about it.

“Aaron,” you say, before you can forget, “did… was Jack’s soccer okay?”

He passes you a mug, squeezing your shoulder lovingly. “It was great. I’ll show you the photos.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t go.”

You were supposed to. Spencer even drove to pick you up, but he got here and your meds weren’t working and your heart was beating wrong, so you stayed home.

“It’s okay.” Aaron looks like he wants to hug you, but he doesn’t. “Nobody’s mad at you for that.”

“For other things?”

“Nothing.”

Your door opens again. Spencer bursts in with two things, a brown paper bag of groceries and a bouquet of flowers. It’s a pretty huge bouquet, as they go, white and pink flowers, cornflower blue chrysanthemums spotted throughout, the end of his scarf stuck in the flowers and his coat unbuttoned in the struggle. “Hey. Hi, Hotch.”

“Spencer,” Aaron says, which is strangely warm.

Spencer shoves the bouquet aside to see you. “Hi, you okay?”

You force yourself to stand. It’s obvious you’re not feeling right, your head whirring, but you have to make sure he still wants you. “Spencer.”

He puts the bouquet down. The groceries next. “Angel,” he says, meeting Aaron’s eyes quickly, then back to you, where he smiles sympathetically, “How long have you been feeling like this?”

You’ve only taken a few steps toward him when he catches you for a hug. It’s nice and polite, but not without tenderness. He doesn’t pull your weight in like he would if you were alone, but he holds your back and sits a quick kiss against your cheek as he pulls away.

“I don’t really know, a few days?” you suggest.

“You could’ve told me. Or Hotch, you know?”

“I know, I was going to, just–” You press your hand to your eyes. “Didn’t really notice it was happening.”

“Don’t get upset,” Aaron says, coming to join you both in the kitchen. “It’s alright. Spencer isn’t scolding you, he just wants you to know we’re here for you no matter what happens.”

“I don’t feel like myself,” you say.

“That’s okay,” Aaron furthers, holding you by the shoulder, his hand settling behind the nape of your neck, “we can talk to your doctor again, this isn’t permanent. We’ll talk to them today, if it’s what you need.”

“I’m sorry. Not many people have such an adverse effect to lexapro, I was hoping you wouldn’t be an exception,” Spencer says.

To your surprise, Aaron answers for you, “You couldn’t have known. This is just something we’ll have to keep doing together.”

Someone sits you down. Aaron warms his fancy soups and toasts the bread he brought, making a plate and bowl for each of you without asking. Spencer barely balks. You manage another laugh, for which you’re rewarded with two smiles.

Aaron can’t stay much longer, having to pick up Jack from Jess’, but he offers to come back. You decline, not wanting Jack to see you feeling as depressed as you are. He promises to call the doctor tonight and leaves in a rush. He must’ve stayed longer than he should’ve.

Spencer is more forthcoming with soft touches once he’s gone. He didn’t eat much but neither did you, pushing the plates across the coffee table. He’s still wearing his coat.

Fond, you reach for his chest and begin slipping buttons from the eyelets. “You’re staying, right?” you murmur.

“If you’ll have me.”

You open his coat and push it away from his shoulders. He dressed fancy even when he’s not going anywhere, it’s so strange, the button up and the tie and the sweater vest, all of it, but you love it. You run your hand down his vest. He lets his head dip forward. Not for kissing, just to be near.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Just feel wrong.”

“It’s not really a good idea to stop taking the lexapro now. It’s technically an antidepressant, and your body won’t adjust well.” He holds your waist as you hold his. “But this is weird, huh?”

“Feels weird.”

“Short term, uh, I think we should just try and make sure you feel alright today. Is there anything you need?” he’s murmuring, rubbing his thumb into the soft of your stomach. “I can get anything. Or we can do anything.”

“You don’t have to… worry about me.”

“Are you kidding?” he asks softly.

“We haven’t been…” You trail your hand to his stomach, where it stays. “I just don’t expect you to deal with this, you didn’t sign up for this.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I had no idea what I’d find out about you or what you might go through when we first met, but I wanted to find out. I wanted to take care of you then, and I do now,” he says simply.

“It’s not good timing for me to be like this.”

“Stuff happens all the time. I wouldn’t want to wait for you to be perfect before we met.” He smiles genuinely. “Not that you’re not perfect.”

“I really feel like I’m not even me.”

“You’re you,” he says, dipping so close to you that you can’t see his face anymore, just his skin.

You slouch into his chest, coaxed by long, lithe arms cradling you, as kind as anyone’s ever touched you. He smells clean, your nose finding its way to his stiff collar.

“I’m sorry,” you say.

“You don’t have to be. Nobody wants you to be sorry, okay?”

It’s a new feeling. Spencer spends the night with you on the couch and doesn’t for a moment seem like it’s something he doesn’t wanna do. You end up laying on his chest, his fingers drawing lines like a meandering figure skater up your back. Twirls and loops, long laps around your spine. When your phone rings, he’s nice enough to click answer and hold it to your ear.

“Aaron?” you ask sleepily.

“Hey, honey. I’ll be by tomorrow to take you back to Dr. Chester’s office, alright? If you don’t want to keep taking your lexapro, don’t. But if you can manage it, take another tonight, and we’ll figure out the new plan after your appointment.”

“Okay,” you say, feeling very small. “Thank you for doing that for me.”

“I’d do anything. Jack says he loves you, he’s making you a painting of yourself. He’s very good at the colours.”

“I bet he is,” you say loudly. In the background, you can hear Jack’s pleased little thank you.

“Do you want to talk a while?” he asks.

“That’s okay, Aaron, I’m half asleep on Spencer right now.”

“Good, that’s good. Tell him to take good care of you, okay? Or I won’t be happy.”

Spencer laughs above your head. “When is he ever happy?” he jokes in a whisper.

“Shh,” you say, giving Spencer a light shove. “He says he will.” You swallow a lump, as you’ve had to do all day, but it isn’t rawness that colours your voice now. “I love you. Thank you for, uh, calling the doctor. Thanks.”

“I love you too. I’ll leave you to sleep now. I’ll come at eleven, alright?”

“Alright. See you tomorrow,” you say.

Your voice is weak. Spencer pulls the phone away and hangs it up, tossing it without force onto the coffee table, before wrapping his arm around you snugly.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Spencer says. “You’ll see, things aren’t going to be like this forever. It’s statistically impossible.”

“Ooh,” you croon, pressing your tired face back into his chest, “I love when you talk statistics to me. Tell me more.”

He draws shapes into your back, his voice a murmur as he starts to talk.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #hotchner!reader

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cherry-leclerc · 1 year ago

Text

lolita ☆ cs55

genre: age gap (10 years), porn with plot, affairs, forbidden romance, angst, mentions of suicide, mentions of drugs, tragedy, erotic literature

word count: 14.9k

You were young, alluring, floating through a disastrous life with the touch of a thousand angels. Carlos was successful, irresistible and someone who often kept a distance from catastrophe. Never in a million years did he think he would have a complete moment of weakness. Especially the week of his wedding.

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+... sexual tension, penetrative sex, dry humping, riding, size kink, oral sex (f and m receiving), semi - public sex, deepthroating, praise, fingering, handjobs, lots of dirty foreplay, slapping (like once AH), a bit of edging, overstimulation, a bit of crying, sucking on fingers, squirting - i should stop now, oh god.

inspired by this and this !

STOP AND READ:

This by no means - in any shape or form - is something that should be admired or looked up to. It does deal with serious topics such as: grooming, suicide, and drugs. While the reader is of age (19), this is not my way of impulsing my own readers - especially younger ones, if by any chance they come across this - to follow this mindset. Dark themes will take place and if that is not something you are comfortable with, then that is okay, I definitely have more light hearted fics in my masterlist. “Love stories” aren’t always filled with flowers and rainbows, they can also be hurtful and confusing, often misunderstood. This is fictional. Given, this is inspired by Lolita and Blue Velvet by Lana Del Rey (*everyone cheers*) – what that means is that this story will not have a happy ending. Verses of Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov are also mentioned (extremely controversial book - as it should be).

cherry here!…hi, guys! i hope you all enjoy and i’m gonna do it now: I’M SORRY.

She was as dangerous as poison could ever be - with no good intentions. She was malicious, sweet laughter that would make anyone fall in love. An Angel walking on Earth, curiously making it her playground.

He was intelligent. A man of few words, but also simply so, the seven deadly sins all wrapped up in one. Keeping a distance from things he knew would bring him no good.

But in order to understand, we would have to take you back to where it all began.

Where Paradise met Hell.

Growing up in Italy for some odd reason made you out to be the girl you were. Men there would throw themselves at any opportunity if they saw a single daisy looking girl in eyesight. At first it felt as if you were walking a tightrope; you knew it wouldn’t be the wisest idea to fall straight into their traps. Except, slowly, it made sense.

They knew how to sweet talk someone so young and naive - you’ll give them that. It only took one taste and that was the moment you knew.

You liked them older.

Men fucked in a way boys never would. Every single one would always put your needs first - but there was this one man that had you realizing how fucked up you could be in order to get what you want. That’s one prize you’d cheat to win.

And that’s a story for later.

Moving away for college was the best decision you felt you would ever make in your entire life. Given, Italy was home, but the people in it weren’t. Often, you find yourself missing your rendezvous but studying abroad in Spain wasn’t much different.

Note; you didn’t grow up with a tight knit family. Your mother was a drug addict with half of her days knocked out on the couch, your father was someone who was occasionally in the picture. He tried his best.

And your older sister, Ollie?

Well, you’d honestly forgotten you even had one.

Some may say that you’re a whore, a slut, a homewrecker, or any other Spanish slur that spits Madrid, but you never cared. You were having fun and why were you the one always being blamed? Perhaps, men, too, should think with their heads rather than their dicks.

Which is how you find yourself still repeating the familiar pattern you had started a long time ago. Riding your professor shouldn’t feel this good. Mierda, he would groan as you bounce up and down like a bunny. Mewling, you shake the feeling of remorse. Not when he felt this good.

Your phone ringing is what makes you stop, him still inside of you, twitching. Ciao? His calloused fingers would slide up to pinch your nipples as you lightly gasped.

“Tesoro! Haven’t heard your voice in so long.”

Your father’s tone makes you wince at the reminder. Occasionally, he would check up on you in a way you would assume other fathers did for their daughters. You could never hate him, though. In his own way, deep down, he still cared.

“Papi, how are you?”

Sliding off of his lap, you zip your dress back on as you pace the lecture room. Bored, he takes out his secret whiskey from under his desk. Your sister is getting married in a few weeks! I was thinking you could fly back home so you could join us. The thought alone made your stomach churn as you bit down onto your thumb. Signaling at the older man, you click your fingers, hinting for a glass of your own. He obliges, handing it to you.

“I’m busy with summer courses. Maybe I can send a gift?”

You try everything in the book in order to get out of what seems like a crappy, dull, Italian wedding. It had been ages since you last stepped foot there. In no right mind would Ollie’s wedding be the one to change that. But he says things that get to you. I haven’t seen you in years. Neither has your sister. She misses you, you know?

You bite down on a snarky remark as you down the rest of the gold liquid. Last time you spoke, she promised that you were dead to her. That she never wanted to hear from you again. In the moment, it hurt, but you grew used to the idea. And what younger sister doesn’t pick up on what older sister says? Now, you despised her as much as she did you.

“Ovviamente. I’ll be there.”

It’s hot as soon as you land. That you didn’t miss. Ale, your fathers chauffeur, picks you up with a bright smile. Saddened, it dawns on you that you hadn’t seen one of those in ages. He’s nice. Let's you sit in the passenger's seat as he introduces himself. He mentions he has 5 granddaughters and has been married for almost 50 years. It’s sweet. Makes you feel human.

Pulling into the driveway, you almost want to correct him. This isn’t my fathers house. You must be mistaken. Only, he says he isn’t. That he had recently moved into his Italian mansion a year ago. You’re skeptical for a minute, but realize you can’t be one to tell. Years have passed; things change.

Still, that didn’t stop you from gawking at the ginormous house that sits on a hill; overlooking all of Tuscany. It even had a beautiful view of the ocean. Why couldn’t you grow up with this?

“I’ll inform your father that you have arrived safely.”

Taking it all in, you slowly pace the entrance, analyzing everything in sight. The crystals hanging from the chandelier, large - expensive - portraits, shiny mirrors. Quirking your head to the side, you glide over to the golden trophy sitting in the middle of the spacious entry.

Carlos Sainz Sr. : Rally Driver of-

“That belonged to my father. He passed away a year ago.”

Startled, you grip onto the trophy tighter as you slightly jump in panic. You curse yourself for being caught as you delicately place it back down before turning your attention to the booming voice.

Instantly, you’re hit with lust. Standing in front of you is a tall man - around his 20’s, perhaps - dark brown eyes narrowed down on you like knives. Messy, untamed, brown hair. Large nose, plump lips, dark brows. His figure is something you can’t wrap your head around that even exists. Richard Mille's watch clung onto his wrist. Giorgio Armani pressed up against his chest, it almost looked as if it didn’t fit due to his rippling muscles. Woody, rich, scent filling up the room.

He was the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on.

“I am so, so, sorry.”

Your voice is so soft, it has him intrigued. You wore a short pastel yellow dress that didn’t leave much to his imagination; paired with converse and tube socks. Rosy tint on your cheekbones from the humidity. Berry lips. Wide, innocent eyes. He’d be lying if he said you didn’t take his own breath away. Even though you stood far enough away, he could still smell your vanilla perfume.

Inching closer, he waves you off. “I was kidding. My father is well and alive.” You tippy toe nervously before planting your feet back down.

“That’s not a nice thing to say.”

And he’s surprised with your response. Yet, he finds himself extending his tan hand out to you. “I’m Carlos.”

Carlos. His name sounds as attractive as his appearance. Strong and sure. But also…dark. You shake his hand, legs quivering at his warm touch. Deep down, he knew how much he affected you - it’s something he’s grown quite accustomed to, having people admire his looks, but it took a lot to not show that you had the same effect on him.

“Nice to meet you, Carlos. Do you work for my father?”

Amused, he lets out a deep chuckle. Even a simple sound like that had you pressing your legs together, arousal dripping in between.

“You don’t know who I am?” You shake your head, confused. Should you? He smiles. “That’s okay. We haven’t met before…Though you should get to know me since you’re already here…”

Wait.

“You know,” he leans his head a bit, floppy hair following, “Ollie.”

No, no, no.

“It’s so nice to finally meet my fiancée’s sister.”

Foolishly, you try your best to hide your surprise. How does a man like him end up with a bratty, narcissist, like your sister?

What was so fucking special about her?

Envy fills your veins as you try to show that this hasn’t phased you. Excited cheers echo down the hallway as your father runs over, embracing you into a warm hug. You’re here! Wincing, you lean into his touch, eyes still trained on the magnetic man.

Only then, did Ollie fly down the stairs, immediately running into Carlos’ arms. Making a big deal out of it, she kisses him as she runs her hands against his chest.

“Come here, tesoro. I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

The entire time; Carlos kept his eyes trained on you.

It didn’t make sense. Part of you knows it never will. You’ve only just met him, but you can tell he must’ve been fucked in the head to willingly choose someone like Ollie. Sure, she seemed sweet and kind, but she was anything but that.

Dinner that night is carbonara. Carlos is extremely talented. He cooked this just for you. Tight lipped, you thank him, looking down at your plate to avoid his burning gaze.

“How’s school?”

Turning to your father, you remind yourself that you were here for him; because he wanted you there. That’s all that should matter. “Very good. Thank you for asking, papi.”

The sound of glass hitting the table erupts as Carlos hurriedly goes to pick it up, quickly murmuring a strong apology. His dark gaze shortly flickers past you. It leaves you squirming.

Clearing his throat, he takes a sip of his wine. “Where do you study?” Spain, you tell him as he beams. “No way. I was born and raised in Madrid. Moved to Italy a few years ago for work.” Letting out a laugh, you find the coincidence funny. He moved from Spain to Italy and you moved from Italy to Spain.

“What do you do for work?”

“He’s a Formula 1 driver. Drives for Scuderia Ferrari,” Ollie weasels in as she smirks down on you. Anger bubbles inside of her when your attention remains on the Spaniard. Drumming your fingers against the table, you lick your lips. Formula 1? He’s about to explain it all up until Ollie butts in once again. She rubs his hand, a glistening ring shining right in front of you. You physically have to force yourself to look away. “Oh, amor, she doesn’t know what that is. She’s too…young.”

You know she’s trying to make a weak point: you’re only a baby, therefore, you don’t compare to her. And yes, you are young, 19, but it was stupid of her to think that it bothered you. You tsk before leaning back against your chair.

“Of course, my mistake. I forgot I was still a pure flower instead of a wilting one.”

Ollie’s face switches to bright red as she grips onto his hand. An entertained smile slips onto his lips before flattening back out. He rubs her hand, trying to calm her down. You can’t stop the jealousy burning from within.

“I didn’t mean you, Mr. Sainz.”

The 29 year old brushed you as if nothing, a smile displayed. Eyeing you both, Ollie suddenly stands up, chair screeching. Why don’t you help me bring out the cookies I baked? Ever so gracefully, you nod. Following after her, you stop suddenly as she spins, hair slapping her face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here? Are you here to ruin my life with your existence?”

“I might.”

Her left eye twitches as she growls angrily. If she didn’t make it this easy to tick her off, then you’d be bored, but luckily for you, it was unchallenging to get under her skin. “This is my wedding; my future husband - so don’t fuck that up like everything else you’ve ever done.”

You try to pretend as if her words didn’t affect you as you stare back blankly. Marching over to the counter, she opens up a box of cookies before sliding them onto a polished dish, leaving you standing there alone.

You thank the higher Gods for not letting you cross roads with Ollie for the next few days. Though, you’re a bit bummed out that you haven’t seen Carlos much either. Peeking out the window, you could see the way a group of workers hurried to set up for the joint bachelorette taking place later that night, right on the beach. The waves look magnificent, so without a second thought, you slip on a bikini before rushing out the door with your necessities.

Lathering a goop of coconut sunscreen, you hum softly to yourself. Weren’t you going out with your sister? Looking up, you see Carlos standing in front of you with his face slightly scrunched up from the bright sun. His cheeks looked as if they’d just been pinched. “Where to?”

He takes a seat next to you. “She said she was going out to go buy a few flowers for later. Said she would invite you.” You shake your head, already bored with the idea.

“You know her,” you tap your head, “Forgetful.”

He cocks his head to the side as he shuts his right eye for a moment. “You two don’t get along, do you?” You try making up a silly excuse. Of course we do. We’re sisters. But he’s looking right into your orbs as if he sees right past your weak attempts. “You’re right. I could be wrong.”

It stays quiet for a while - only the soft breeze being heard. You can see him from your peripheral vision; eyes shut as he takes in the moment of peace he hasn’t had since dawn. Long lashes fan his face, freckles scattered all over.

“Aren’t you too busy to be talking to me?”

“No. Plus, I should take time to get to know my future sister-in-law. Especially since I don't know anything about her even after dating her sister for 7 years.”

7 years.

Squinting at the waves, you slide your sunglasses on. “There’s not much to know, but I can try. I’m 19 years old, studying abroad in Spain, and grew up in Italy. I love the ocean, love a nice cup of hot chocolate - even though I’m allergic - so I only allow myself small sips during the winter. I like to pretend I know how to dance and I kill it in karaoke.” He laughs. You can’t dance? “Unfortunately, I can’t. Once, during my friend's wedding reception, I twirled right into her cake. I spent the entire day on supervision.”

“Dios mío…Remind me to watch out for you on our wedding day.”

Our wedding day. His words slightly sting as you pinch your nose swiftly. Standing up, you brush beads of sand off your legs. Your eyes roam the area before you find your father waving you over. “I should go,” you say as you look down at him. His brown eyes scan you before nodding and standing up. He, too, looks over to where your father waits to introduce you to a group of businessmen. He frowns and that's when you realize just how revealing your bikini might have been, only it's too late now.

“Papi always taught us to greet our elders.”

He clenches his jaw, eyes closing for a second. When his gaze meets yours, you almost choke with how dark and twisted it’s become. “Aren’t you too old to be calling him that?” Confused, you tilt your head.

“Calling him wh- Papi?”

He grinds his teeth together - and then just like that - he’s smiling again.

“Forget it. How would I know?”

Standing next to an empty table, you watch as Carlos and your sister dance along with everyone else. This party has allowed you to pick up on the fact that they seemed to be a much more important couple than you had anticipated. Everyone looked at the Spaniard as if he were a God himself - and being quite truthful - you would agree. There was nothing about him that wasn’t flawless.

Then, Ollie, just looked like any other person. Her eyes were bright, but any time anyone would walk up to him, her stare would become threatening. As if she was his owner and no one else could get close enough to breathe the same air.

Everyone here was older; that much you could tell. Attendees were accompanied by girlfriends or fiancée’s of their own. It made you feel a bit childish, since you clearly were the youngest one there. Reaching out for your margarita, you twirl the straw.

“Not having fun?”

Your attention directs itself to a dirty, blondish, brunette. He looks a bit tipsy, face flushed as he smiles sweetly. He’s tall, handsome. But not as much as Carlos.

“Max,” he introduces himself. Politely, you shake his hand. He points to the large group that dances on the sand. He lets out a croaky laugh. “They could get a bit much sometimes.” You laugh, nodding along with him. He continues talking to you. Brings up how he knows Carlos from driving with him; except he’s signed to Red Bull.

“Everyone here is invited only if they're a driver, huh?” It’s a lame joke, but he laughs and throws his head back as if it were the most fascinating thing he’s heard all night.

“It’s a small circle, but I promise, they're all nice lads.” Discreetly, he takes in your appearance. The way your black dress dances with the wind. Painted red nails glistening under the golden lights.

You were beautiful. Tragically, beautiful.

“You know the groom or the bride?”

“Bride.”

He nods, taking a sip of the beer bottle he had been nursing. You both continue your conversation for a while longer. He’s Dutch. Recently 26. You mention your headache before he brushes his fingers against your hand. Looking down, he pulls away before clearing his throat. He apologizes and asks if you would like to dance. A soft melody now plays and you find yourself taking his hand. It's big as yours disappears into it.

Almost as if he’s shy, he carefully slides his hands down to your waist. You giggle as you throw yours over his shoulders. “I hope slowing down helps get rid of your migraine. Sucks. I get lots of those during race weekends.”

“It is. Thank you for caring.”

He’s sweet. You can tell with the way he blushes when you mention the way you like his dimples. Slowly, you find yourself enjoying his company. You’re in the middle of laughing at some stupid joke he just told, when someone rudely clears their throat. Carlos’ smile appears bitter as he shakes his head.

“I’m sorry - I’ve probably killed the mood.”

“No problem, mate. We were just talking.”

He clicks his tongue before turning to you. Under his scrutiny, you feel as if you’ve just been caught smoking weed for the first time. Dazed, you hum, waiting for him to say something. You know it’s not your place to feel as if he owes you an apology, but you can’t help it.

“Ollie said it’s best if you went to bed.” You let out a sarcastic laugh. Since when does she care if I get a good night's rest? He huffs before running a hand through his hair. “She - she…Just do as you’re told, please.”

Now you’re bothered. Up until that point, you were actually having a good time. Dumbfounded, you turn to Max as he smiles understandingly. Pursing your lips, you apologize. Tippy toeing, you lean up to press a kiss against his stubble. He smiles.

“See you around?”

“See you around, Maxie.”

Walking into the lonely house, you let out a sigh as you pour yourself a cup of water. The summer heat had completely dehydrated you. You could still hear the soft beat playing from outside as you sway in the kitchen. You were upset - angry - that your sister had cut your night short. And any other time you would have put up a good fight, but thought it’d be best to not make a fool out of yourself. Especially in front of people you barely knew.

The door sliding open has you alert as you look up. Carlos silently makes his way in as he groans with exhaustion. Loopy eyes match yours as he clears his throat awkwardly. “So…What were you talking about with Max?”

“Nothing that should concern you.”

His jaw clenches, a large hand running along it. Stepping closer, he takes your cup of water before chugging it down. It leaves you hot and bothered just how close he is. It’s a mixture of salt and musk, his scent. It makes your head spin. Lazily, he takes a step back before nodding.

“Right. Have a good night.”

Carlos knew he had messed up. He had no right lying and saying Ollie had ordered for you to go to bed. That was completely him. It’s just that - seeing you with Max, laughing, smiling, made him seethe - when he knows damn well that he shouldn’t. It wasn’t like he was your boyfriend, after all.

So, he was embarrassed. He kept his distance. In his head it made sense. If you weren’t near then he wouldn’t feel the need to keep his eyes on you all the time. The house felt lonelier, colder without you sliding down the hallways. Rightfully so, you had spent your days locked up in your room. The only person that made happy was Ollie.

Either way, maybe it was for the best. He had a ton of shit to do. Starting with changing their honeymoon destination for what seemed like the millionth time that month. First, it was the Maldives, then Cancún - God - he knew that in a few hours his fiancée would come up with a new place.

“I know, I know we said that, but it’s changed.” He paces the office, stressed. “Can you please just make it fucking happen?”

“Ouch.”

Turning his attention, he sees you peeking at the entrance, phone still pressed up against his ear. Pouting, you enter, sweet aroma filling the room. Excusing himself, he ends the call. “Need anything?” He honestly cared for your response. It had been days without seeing you and he was afraid he blew it before he even had a chance to marry your sister. He told himself it was only because he cared for your relationship with Ollie. But fuck that - he knew not even you both cared that much about each other.

Shaking your head, you walk closer. “You sounded mean. Not a nice look on you, Mr. Sainz.” You’re teasing. You had to be.

“That wasn’t mean. It's called being straight forward.”

Ignoring him, you curiously eye the dark office. Books, trophies, helmets. Letting out a snort, you pick up the nearest picture frame. In it, it’s Carlos and Ollie, smiling wide. Tears brim her eyes as he looks down at her. The sight makes you want to puke.

“When was this taken?”

“The day of our engagement.”

You hum, already setting it back down. You can’t help but picture the impossible. That in the picture it was you instead of her, that you wore that diamond ring, that he looked at you.

Fuck her, honestly.

“Why’d you propose?”

He’s thrown off by your question. He’s expecting you to bring up the fact that it was a joke, but when you looked back for a response, he found himself with a dry mouth. Because I love her?

“Jesus,” you shudder, taking a seat on top of his desk. His eyes wander down your tan legs as you rest them on top of his chair. You're playing mind games - he’s well aware - and still he found himself following them. You were the worst temptation out there. It’s as if you knew the power you held. “I bet fucking her is a chore.”

Shocked at your words, he finds himself dumbstruck. He knew you two didn’t get along, but what the fuck happened for you to aim such insults?

He knows Ollie. Sure, she was a bit much at times, but she was nice. She was pretty. There was no need for your vile words.

You can tell he’s about to get defensive about her and that makes you shrink. Willing, you had handed him a reason to choose her over you.

Looking back at the picture, you purse your lips. “Sorry. That wasn't the right thing to say.”

“You should leave.”

You’re embarrassed over him kicking you out, but you knew you had crossed the line. So much for a peaceful afternoon. You comply, jumping off the desk. Not before making your way over, pressing your soft lips against his neck, which was the only place you could reach, even after tippy toeing. You felt him get stiff.

“Excuse my manners, Carlos.”

Skipping out the door, he’s left with a single thought.

He’s fucked.

The next morning, you’re forced to spend the day with your sister. Whether it was for running errands, fighting; it didn’t matter. As long as you made your father happy. All he wanted was for his girls to get along.

“Go,” Ollie growls as she hands you your bridesmaid dress. Snatching it from her, you slowly climb up the stairs to your room.

It’s a beautiful dress. Strong, dark, cherry red. Just like blood. It hugs your curves the way you’ve always thought all dresses should. For that reason, too, it made you look…older. Trying your best to get rid of the wrinkles, you smooth it down before making your way back.

Papi loves it as he starts throwing out compliments. You look beautiful, tesoro! You are a true gem. His eyes are bright and proud as you stand there with a shy smile. And though you thanked him, nothing else mattered but the man right in front of you.

The Spaniard had just gotten back from a meeting. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to eat and sleep the rest of the day, but as soon as he saw a balsé Ollie and an eager father-in-law, he was interested. She had told him to go relax; practically pushing him away. But as soon as you walked down those stairs, he swore his heart had never melted with such a sight.

His eyes became fixated to the point of no return. You stand there like a divine temptress. A siren who was mixed with innocence. Enough to drool over, but also, to adore from afar. Someone he could worship. If God decided this were his last day on Earth, then he would happily follow, since he finally felt as if his life were complete.

His big brown eyes are glued onto you as your father spins you. Ollie’s attention flickers between her younger sister and her fiancé. Tears fill up her eyes as she springs off the couch. You’re not bothered by it; don’t even bat an eye. That is until Carlos quickly runs off after her. That was a slap to the face as you show off a wounded smile to your father who stands there lost at the sudden commotion.

Later on that day, you find yourself trying to forget it all with watered down tequila. That’s really all you could find in such short notice. Leaning against the balcony, you study the soft waves, cold wind causing your skin to flash small goosebumps.

“Disgusting,” you mumble as you finish the rest of the alcoholic drink. Who knew a simple encounter would set you off?

“Woah there. Are you okay?”

Max cautiously steps closer as you shrug with a sigh. What was there to say? I’m a horrible person. I’m a horrible sister. And yes, we might not get along, but never in a million years did I think I would be falling in love with my future brother-in-law.

“What are you doing up so late?”

Sheepishly, he raises his cigarette. Letting out a low hum, you raise a brow. “Can I have one?” He knows he shouldn't be the one to give a teenager a form of drug, but you looked so upset, so drained, that he felt as if you needed it. Lighting it up, you bring it up to your lips as you squint at him. He laughs.

“First time?”

“No. It’s just been a while.”

You’re still not looking at him, but he notices the way you let out shaky breaths. The way you softly pinch your forearm. He frowns.

“I know we only just met, but do you want to talk about it?”

And maybe it was the gist of the moment. Or that he was being sweet - showing that he cared, but it worked because next thing you knew, you were kissing. He lets out an erotic moan with the taste of your lips. All a mix of cigarettes and tequila. This is wrong. He was friends with Carlos and you were only doing this in a moment of weakness, but you just couldn’t stop. Neither could he. Not when you tasted like a thousand crimes.

His large hands grab your ass as you gasp, brushing against his cock. He hissed as he pressed his lips much harder. Surely, you will have bruises tomorrow. Adrenaline rushes through your veins as you grind against him. Clumsily, you both make your way to the couch that’s nearby. Straddling him, you continue to dry humping. Slowly, but surely, the warm sensation between your legs starts to form. Panting, you pull away as he tries to angle his face closer to yours. You smile tauntingly.

“You know what you remind me of?”

You hum, leisurely picking up your filthy actions. He bites back a smile as he grips harder onto your hips.

“A Lolita.”

A menacing smile looks down at him before you kiss down his thick neck, soft bites being left behind. You can’t recall the moment you start bouncing on his cock, or when he sprawls you open like a map, kneeling down in front of you. It’s all a haze; a delicious one, too. You’re falling like a feather from your climax when you hear a thud. Did you hear that? No, he would mumble as he peppers kisses onto your soft skin.

The tides are crashing harder now, signaling that the night was growing older. Timidly, you share a goodbye as you start to skip your way back into your room, but one last thing caught your attention.

A broken flower pot on its side and dirt trailing into the Italian home.

More days had passed since your last encounter with the devilish Spaniard. If you were ever in the same room, he wouldn’t even glance at you. He would simply just walk past by. He was mad. Upset about something. You tried to think of what it might’ve been, but when he walked into his office with an infuriated expression, you decided it was time to call a truce.

Knocking, you flinch at his sharp tone when he commands you away. Ignoring it, you still step in. Head thrown against his chair, man spreading, he has his eyes screwed shut.

“Are you okay?”

Your tone is sticky like honey. It annoys him the way it strings him in. Drumming his finger against the large chair, he angles his head to look at you. You’re almost scared to ask again, so you decide to stand still until he speaks up.

“Why’d you do it?”

Puzzled, you purse your lips, waiting for further explanation. What was he talking about? Did you do something to make him upset? The thought alone made you feel queasy. When he notices you still don’t understand, he clicks his tongue.

“Why would you fuck a friend of mine?”

Oh. Was it possible that this was something he was jealous of? Bewildered, you know you can’t deny it so you start to word-vomit. I am so sorry, Carlos. He came onto me that night - he kissed me first. I was confused. I was lured in by his words. I didn’t know what I was doing-

His eyes soften up as you try your best to break it down. But you were a liar; a good one. You knew damn well it was all you. You had kissed him first. You threw him under the bus and you knew that. Did he deserve it? No. Of course not. But you couldn't handle the Spaniard being mad at you.

He signals for you to get closer. Securely, he grasps your hand and hauls you onto his lap. It’s embarrassing how wet you’ve suddenly become; how your mind replicates a plate of jello.

“I’m sorry he made you feel like that.”

His rough fingers slide up and down your arms and even that leaves you buzzing. Suddenly, you feel feeble. You assure him that you were fine - that it was no big deal. The way he looks at you is what gives you the confidence to lean in closer. A trace of panic slashes his face for a second. He should probably stop this before anything else happens. There was nothing okay about your ass pressed up against him. Or him craving to taste your plump lips.

“He didn’t make me feel anything I haven't before.”

Your implication irks him far too much, he starts to consider this all an unhealthy encounter. He can’t stop the images of you being with other men. Someone else kissing you, pleasuring you. Whilst your words were suggestive, your features were anything but that. Wide eyes stare back at him, slightly crinkled. Moving your body, you scoot closer as if you weren't already. He growls as he pinches your hip. Then, you're kissing his neck, and he should be pushing you off, but he’s too far gone to pick up on how wrong this all was. I’m sorry I’ve upset you, Mr. Sainz. I didn’t think you would care who fucked me or not.

“I-I don’t. It’s just that you shouldn't be doing stuff like that. You’re too young for all that.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” You narrow your eyes. “I’m wiser than one might think. I’m mature enough to know who can and can’t fuck me the way I like.” Your gaze focuses extra hard with your confession. As if it were meant for him.

Pressing your ass one last time against his tight pants, you leap off, giggling.

“Take care, Carlos.”

It's a business dinner, your father fills you in as you sit nearby, enjoying a bowl of ice cream, hairollers dangling around your head. Pouting, you reach up to clip one back into place. He smiles.

“You know, lots of young, talented guys are going to be here. It could be a great opportunity to meet someone.”

You make a face at his idea. “Yeah. No, thank you.” Marching over to him, you gently pat his cheek. “I’m not here to meet anyone.”

Signhing, he grabs your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you and Carlos…” Choking on your own saliva, you push away. What? No. Of course not! Why would you even think that? He lets out a breath of relief. “It’s nothing. Ollie just brought it up, but I told her you would never actually do something like that. I know my precious girl.”

The door creaks open as Satan herself walks in, followed by an Angel. First thing you noticed are their intertwined hands. Ollie tries to be coy as she flashes the action right in front of you. She mainly greets your father as she sticks by Carlos like a piece of gum. Hello, he would say to you as you bite back a smile.

“What are we talking about?”

“Your sister might have a boyfriend by the end of the night, that's what,” your father jokes as you slap his shoulder. Boyfriend? The Spaniard’s eyes burn you, subtle threat evident. Ollie fakes a smile as she tugs him back a bit.

“Wow. You know what? That might actually be a good idea. Could help with how uptight you are. But I’m confused, boyfriend as in Max?”

Fury fills you as you shoot daggers right at her. Ollie’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction. You’re dating Max? “Of course not, papi! Ollie is just being a bitch.”

“No, no, no - I don’t think telling the truth is being a bitch. You should be happy, baby sister! You sure sounded like it when you let him fuck you out in the balcony.”

Shocked at her words, you can’t bring yourself to look at your father who stands disappointed. Ollie, that's enough, Carlos warns as he squeezes her hand. She yanks it away, jewelry clinging against each other.

“My bad. Shit, I forgot. I forgot no one knew what a slut you are. Opening your legs for any man around you. We’re lucky you’re not attracted to your own father.” She lets out a sour laugh. “Now, that would be fucked up.”

“That’s low, Ollie,” you spit, skin feeling as if it's on fire. You know where all this pent up anger is coming from, but she had no right to make up shit for fun. What kind of sister does that? Embarrassed, your eyes flicker to where Carlos stands with a hopeless expression. Licking your lips, you force yourself to walk away.

Slamming the door shut, you let out a loud scream. Why? Why was she always like this to you? A hard knock is what makes you wipe your tears away. Ollie slithers her way in. It hurt you how proud she looked. As if she had achieved something spectacular.

“The fuck - Are you crying?”

“What do you want?”

She takes a seat on your desk as she dusts off imaginary lint. “I just want to talk. The way sisters do.”

Ricocheting off the bed, you march over to her as you glare. “Sisters? No. You’re nothing of mine.” Ollie yawns as she rubs her eyes. Then, she clears her throat.

“Do you want to know why I hate you? You’re so stupid you probably don’t even know, but don’t worry - that’s what older sisters are for. I’ll explain it to you. Do you remember, Romeo?”

You do. It hits you all at once; the memories of the first man you ever slept with. He was nice - kind enough to teach you what a man likes. He had jet black hair, a smirk always lingering on his lips. He was tall and a local from where you grew up. He was the perfect experience.

But that still didn’t make any sense. What did he have to do with Ollie?

She lets out a wet laugh. Already, you can see her own tears as she tries to quickly wipe them away.

“I loved you; I did. You were my sister before my enemy. But I also loved him. He was my first love. Promised me a home high up in the hills. But do you know what it feels like to see someone you love fuck your little sister against a wall?”

We probably shouldn’t-

Don’t worry. I’ve got you. No ones going to see us. Men love a good thrill.

“You and him…”

She licks her chapped lips. “We had barely started dating.”

“I didn’t know - I swear to God, I didn’t know!”

If you had, you never would’ve looked his way. Ollie was everything to you growing up. You admired her. Loved her. That’s why it broke you when she started pushing you away as if you were some disease. Later, when your parents got a divorce, she didn’t second guess it when she made the decision to stay behind; causing you to leave with your mother. She never cared for you after that and you never knew why.

But now you did.

“I was young…Younger than I am now, how was I supposed to know?”

“Well, I’m glad we agree on something. You truly don’t know anything.” Strolling over to you, she smiles at your desperate state. “Which is why I’m not making the same mistake twice. Stay away from my husband.”

Ollie’s words felt as if they had opened up past scars. You meant what you said. Romeo would have been someone you would have disregarded if you had known the truth. But like always, you were the one with the entire blame and that you didn’t like.

Despite wearing a pretty dress - one that everyone gawked at you for - you felt ugly. Has it always been this way? Maybe it did make sense as to why she despised you. Playing with your bracelets, you try to pretend you’re interested in meeting your fathers investors. You feel completely exposed when they all stare straight at your chest area.

“How are we all doing?”

They all look up at the Spanirad as they start spitting out their congratulations for his upcoming wedding. He thanks them before checking up on you. His eyes connect with yours. Butterflies swirl inside your stomach as you smile weakly. He’s the first one to truly talk to you that night. To show he cares about your wellbeing rather than the way your dress fits you. Though, you looked stunning as always. Excusing yourself, you make your way into the kitchen, looking for something stronger.

Serving yourself a shot of vodka, you throw your head back, burning sensation sliding down your throat. Coughing, you grip onto the counter. Soft moans whisper in between the walls. You stop breathing for a minute as you try your best to identify where it might be coming from. Striding closer, you press your ear against the closet door. Fuck, a mans voice groans. This is not something you should intervene with, it's not your right, but that all changes when you hear a name that makes you burn all over again. So fucking tight, Ollie.

Pushing the door open, you see your sister banging one of your fathers investors. Ben, you think his name is. Honestly, you could care less. Briskly, she pushes her gown back down as he zips his pants. You let out a cold laugh as you clap in amusement.

“Oh, God. This is great. Amazing. You really outdid yourself, Ol.”

Stepping forwards, she grabs your arm harshly as she tugs you out. “How much did you see?”

You purse your lips as you theatrically scrunch your face up in pleasure. “Oh, Ben! Fuck me! Oh, oh, yes, baby, right there!” You bow. “That much.”

“How old are you, sweetheart?” The brunette says as he scans your body. Ollie glares at him as he steps back.

“Not a word of this to Carlos.”

“Why would I keep this a secret? He deserves to know. What do you think, Benny?”

Panicked, the older man shakes his head as his eyes plead for mercy. That’s enough. Raising your hands up in defense, you grin back at Ollie. “You’re not mentioning anything if you know what's good for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” You tilt your head back. “And what’s good for me?”

“If you tell him anything of what you just heard - saw - then I’ll just tell him how you’ve been bending over for every man in this house. Charles, Lando, Lewis, Pierre…you name it.”

“He won’t believe you…”

She laughs sinisterly. “No, I think he will. I mean…You’ve already done it before.”

“Hey,” his soft voice enters the room as you turn to look at him. The Spaniard’s eyes dance between you and your sister and Ben. “Is something wrong?”

Ollie shakes her head with a bright smile as she walks up and kisses him. You flinch. “Nothing, amor. We were just talking.” She runs her hands through his hair as his eyes remain on you.

“Are you okay?”

Nodding, you grind your teeth together. “Yes. Ollie was just introducing me to Ben.” Awkwardly, the man waves from behind you. Slowly, Carlos nods.

“Papi asked me to introduce them. You know - with the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing!”

“He was serious about tha- Oh. Okay.” He reaches down to take your sister's hand as he eyes you and Ben. “We should probably leave you two alone then.”

Hastily, you nod. “Sure.”

If you were willing to try and fix your relationship with Ollie before, then that was long gone. This is what you knew her for. A pretender. She wistfully makes everyone believe she’s some sort of saint, when really, she’s a wolf in sheep's clothing. She’s a hypocrite. She has a man that everyone desires and she does this?

You hated her.

You hated seeing the way she beams when Carlos’ mother gives her a necklace that belonged to her own mother. She didn’t deserve it. Or the way his sisters helped her slip in and out of her dress, making sure it's perfect for the big day.

Still, you try your best to be a supportive sister. Especially around the woman who raised a man like Carlos. Biting down on your lip, you take a sip of your champagne as Ollie disappears behind the curtains with the lady who is taking some last minute measurements. Reyes smiles warmly.

“We didn’t know Ollie had a younger sister.”

You smile. “Best well kept secret, right?” The older lady laughs. Your heart warms up as you notice it's the same way Carlos does. Ana and Blanca grin.

“Well, we’re glad to finally get to know you. Might I add, you’re beautiful. Those eyes!”

“Thank you,” you blush.

Ana takes a sip of her drink before clicking her fingers. “That’s what you remind me of! You - Carlos - almost have the same puppy eyes!” She turns to her mother. “Mamá! What’s that saying? Soulmates look alike…Something like that, no?”

“Be quiet, Ani,” Blanca hisses before smiling apologetically. “Excuse her - she can be a bit invasive.”

“No problem,” you reassure as you bite back a smile. Ana frowns.

“Lo siento, I don’t mean to come off as overbearing. It’s just that you do…”

Reyes clears her throat as she winks over at her daughter. “Don’t misunderstand us, please. We love Ollie, we do! It’s just…you’re different.” She examines you. “I like you.”

Their words stick with you like a post it. Do soulmates look alike? Playing with the sand, you circle your finger agonizingly slow. Why did their words matter so much to you?

“I always find you alone.”

You stick your tongue out at Carlos as he chuckles at your childish behavior. You pat the sand, inviting him to join you. What are you doing out here? You point at the ocean. “I told you it was my favorite place.”

“Ah. I see.”

You sneak in a quick look before looking straight ahead. “Nervous?”

“About?”

“Marrying a monster.”

He gives you a deadpan look, bumping his shoulder to yours. “She’s not that bad, you know.” He glances at you. “Ollie has been there for me through so much. Through my failures. Through my accomplishments. She’s the one who convinced me not to quit racing.”

“You were thinking of quitting?”

He nods. “It’s not as easy as it looks. It fucks you up mentally. But she…” He smiles. “She helped me overcome that. I thank her everyday for it.”

It’s a bittersweet feeling hearing him talk about her like that. On one hand, you’re thankful that she had made him realize that he should carry on doing what he loved. On the other, you knew her true reasons. She loved having a famous fiancé; someone she can brag out to the rest of the world.

Somewhere, far away, you hear a melody. It’s low enough that if you didn’t pay close attention, you wouldn’t catch on to it, but you did. You grab his hand, leading him to stand up. He quirks a full brow.

“Want to dance?”

“I thought you said you didn’t know how to.”

“Nice memory, old man.” You gently kick some sand towards him. “But I feel like dancing. Plus, you should be practicing.”

Tugging you closer, he hums. “Alright. Only because that's true.”

His hands feel warm against you - so much so - it feels as if he’s on fire. An ease comes to it, too, as you both sway under the moonlight. You giggle when he spins you, dress flying around you like petals. The way you grin makes his heart speed up in a way he’s never felt before. It’s alarming. He pinches your hip as you yelp.

“Mentirosa.”

“Wha- No, I’m not! Can’t dance to save my life.” Clumsily, you dig your toes into the sand. He winces playfully.

The air grows heavy the moment he brushes your hair behind your ear. Your eyes flutter shut as you lean against his warm hand. One look, and he’s hooked. It’s meant to be something lighthearted, but the way he wishes to feel your soft lips against his indicates that it’s not. He’s tried his best to see you for what you are; his fiancée’s little sister. Someone he shouldn’t find himself caring if they slept well, ate their three meals a day, or that they didn’t talk to any other man that wasn’t him or your father. This was sick and twisted and yet…

His lips meet yours as your eyes spring open for a nanosecond before letting yourself go under. It feels as if you’re exploding like firecrackers on a Fourth of July. Something about the way he cradles your face endearingly has your head spinning. Knees become weak, but his grip is secure. It’s better than you could have ever imagined. His tongue fights for dominance and when you don’t give it to him, he squeezes your ass. Moaning, you open your mouth and that's all it took. He kisses you the way you’ve seen in movies - only better. He’s hungry - desperate - for you as you smile against him. Biting down on his bottom lip, he groans as he kisses you harder than before. You were beginning to think your lips were about to snap.

Letting go, he stands there, staggered. He’s ashamed when he realizes that he regrets nothing. You both stay quiet; only waves crashing and heavy pants being heard. At first you think he’s going to apologize, and maybe that might have been the case, but no words would come out. Pressing a peck against his swollen lips, you smile.

“Goodnight, Carlos.”

Carlos rues the day that he kissed you because that only made things more complicated. He couldn’t find a way to not look for you when he walks into the garden, full of family and friends. Or the way he would want to punch Max when he made you laugh. But there is also something sweet. Like the way you would gossip with his sisters and share stories with his parents. He had never seen them laugh and smile so much, not even with Ollie.

He flinches at the cold hand that wraps around his own. Faking a smile, he presses a soft kiss on top of his fiancée’s head. Continuing the clicking against her glass, she smiles widely.

“Grazie a tutti per esservi uniti a noi!”

Everyone claps and a few of the drivers whistle. Rolling your eyes, you lean your head against your father’s shoulder. His heart skips a beat. Ollie continued her speech filled with thank you’s, thank you’s and more thank you’s. Your father kissed your cheek before making his way up to his eldest. Taking the microphone from Ollie, he starts to share warm felt memories about her. You have to admit, you’re jealous about their bond. Somewhere in the past, that had been viciously stolen from you. He notices the way you shrink with sadness and he finds himself about to walk over to you when Ollie laughs awkwardly. Amor. It’s your turn.

“Right.” Fixing his rolled up sleeves, he smiles at the crowd of guests. “Uh…Well like my fiancée said, we’re extremely happy to have you all here. It takes a lot to get this many people out here all at once.” A few laughs echo as he continues. “This means a lot to me, too, to have my friends and family. To have met new faces.” His gaze flickers past you as your breath hitches. “Many ask me what about Ollie made me fall in love with her…And I’m here to be as brutally honest as I could get. I love the way she makes me feel as crazy as the ocean. I could spend calm days with her and not worry about getting bored. Or I could find myself getting into trouble. Ollie has made me a better man. Because of her I know what true love is…” His loopy eyes meet yours. “True love are the waves that meet the shore.”

He lets out a sheepish smile. I want love like that, Lando yells out as he downs his glass of milk. Everyone claps and cheers and that’s where your nightmare begins.

Let’s give it up for the happy couple! Kiss, kiss, kiss!

The chants continue as Carlos let out a nervous laugh. That’s something private between me and her, he tries but finds himself being booed. Leaning down, he pulls Ollie in for a peck before pulling away with a tight lipped smile. He hates himself for his sudden realization.

Kissing her suddenly did feel like a chore.

With all the whoops and whistles being thrown out by friends, he finds himself trying to find you. It doesn’t take long as he notices you had picked up on your conversation with the Dutchman. His jaw clenches.

“Maybe Ollie’s younger sister would like to share a few words.”

Why would he say that? Frozen, you choke mid sip. Me? Your father beams as he nods excitedly. Oh! That’s such a great idea! Unfamiliar faces turn to look at you as they wait. Taking in a deep breath, you nod as you make your way over.

As he hands you the microphone, he can’t stop himself from grazing his fingers against your hand. Coughing, you yank it fast.

“Ciao a tutti.” Everyone greets you back as you lick your lips. You take a moment to figure out what to say, but there’s not much. Cringing, you try to come up with anything. “As some may know, I’m Ollie’s sister…And I could go on forever about how great she is-” You suppress a sarcastic laugh as Carlos knowingly winks. Your nerves ease up. “But I think I should talk about the man who makes my sister the happiest. Carlos Sainz…When I first met you, you seemed uptight - more than the Grinch - but slowly I got to know the man that even my papi swoons over.”

True, your father laughs. “You’re kind, respectful, and charming…Ollie is one very lucky girl. But there’s something also sensitive inside of you…Despite the permanent frown on your face, you still seem to like days by the ocean. Maybe it's a reminder that peace still exists or maybe it's the way…” Looking up, you see everyone staring deeply. Suddenly, you feel like this might be oversharing as you twirl your dress. “...Or maybe it's the way your face lights up when you take my sister dancing on the sand. Uh…Thank you for making her happy.” Handing the mic back to Carlos, you smile weakly at the strong claps.

“That was quite sentimental,” Max points out as you bite down on your finger. Was it too much? He shakes his head. “Don’t worry. It looks like you and Carlos get along well enough. I, for sure, thought he hated you with the way he looks at you.”

“Oh. Yeah.” You pause. “I thought so, too.”

Aside from the fact that the wedding was approaching quickly, the mansion was quiet. The silence can almost be heard; it's scary. Carefully, you fix your dress as you skip down the stairs barefoot, lollipop painting your lips red.

Peeking around the corner, giddiness fills your body as you snatch a handful of pre-washed cherries. Earlier that day, your father had scolded you for finishing the new batch. Popping them into your mouth, you hum a song as you kick your legs against the kitchen counter. It creeps you out the moment a chill runs down your spine. As if someone were watching.

“Boo!”

“Santa mierda,” you yelp as you clutch your heart. Laughing loudly, the Spaniard bends over as he gasps for air. You pout and kick his knee. “Cabrón, you scared me! Warn a girl!”

“Fuck - I’m sorry.” His lips form a thin line as he stands firm. Slowly, the corners lift up, wobbly at his poor attempt to not burst out laughing. You frown.

“You’re fucked up.”

Again, his laughs echo the dimly lit kitchen. “Can I have some?”

“No. They’re mine. Grab your own.”

He narrows his eyes. “Aren’t you on cherry prohibition or something like that?” You gasp as you look around before flipping him off.

“Keep your voice low or papi will disown me!”

He zips his lips as he whispers. “I won’t tell a soul. But I want one of those in exchange.”

Tapping your finger against your lip, you pretend to think about it before nodding. You extend your hand out, a single red cherry for him. You’re waiting for him to take it and leave to where he came from, but what he does instead has you swallowing a lump down your throat.

Crouching down, he opens his mouth as he picks up the cherry, lips slightly wrapping around your fingers. This was triggering you as you tried your best to keep sane. But there was no way of going about that when he looked up at you with deep, brown eyes. Licking the red juice sliding down your hands, he steps back. He licks his lips before swallowing. It amazes you the way his Adam’s Apple jumps up and down; thick neck begging to be sucked on.

“Fucking delicious.”

Blinking, you look down at the rest of the cherries in hand. All of a sudden they seemed like a sultry fruit rather than a drupe.

“Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Of cours-s-e.”

Stupefied, you throw the leftovers straight into the trash bin. You had no clue what made you do that. A small chuckle escapes past his lips as you shut your eyes in embarrassment. Maybe they weren’t as sweet as you made them seem. Too mortified to speak, you keep your eyes focused on the way your feet hit the wood as a distraction. It takes all of you to not run away as he steps closer once again.

“Is there something in that dirty little mind of yours?”

The room feels hot all of a sudden as you shake your head. There’s no words in your vocabulary when he stands this close. You can smell his cologne mixed with shampoo. If richness were a scent then this would definitely be it. His hands cage you in like a butterfly behind glass. Clicking his tongue, he steps aside as you let out a shaky breath. Taking the opportunity, you jump off the edge, bare feet slapping against the cold tiles. Cuidado, he mutters when you almost slip from the sudden action.

“If you need anything I’ll be upstairs.”

Not sure why you said that, but it seemed like a rationalized excuse. Por supuesto. And that would have been the end of your night. That would have been another successful day of not falling for the forbidden apple. You had held out for so long; the kiss didn’t count. But it only takes a few steps for him to clear his throat. Almost as if this were your secret language, you spin and you find him staring after you; dazzling eyes following your every movement as if he’s trying his best to decipher anything you do.

Smiling wide enough for your eyes to look as if they had a smile of their own, you think - fuck the consequences - as you clumsily run up to him; jumping like a kid onto a tree. Legs wrap around his torso and his hands hold you close to him.

“Do you-”

“Yes,” he whispers. “Since the first day you walked through those doors: yes.”

If you had thought you were obsessed with his kisses before, you were wrong. So very wrong. Because now you were addicted. He kisses you with urgency as you run your hands through his locks, so soft against your fingers. He grunts when you tug on it.

His kisses were stimulating enough for you to plead for something. Anything. Smirking, he pecks your nose before leading you both upstairs. It amazed you how he could continue kissing you as he hurried to get to the bedroom. Noticing him making his way into his and Ollie’s, you pull away. There’s no way you would let him do that. You spin your finger lazily through his hair.

“How about mine?”

He doesn't care if he fucked you against the floor, he needed you. Kicking the door shut, he throws you onto your bed as you squeal. He smiles fondly as you brush your hair out of your face. He’s had his fair share of girls. Models, nepo-babies, Ollie, but none of them compare to you.

He was almost scared of touching you again, even though that’s exactly what he wanted. Doe eyes stare back at him as his cock gets harder at the sight. Ollie had always tried her best to look at him that way, but you didn’t even have to try. It naturally happened. Nothing about this felt forced.

You look untouchable. Like a complete goddess waiting to be ruined. Carlos, you would say as you squeeze your tits, eyes struggling to stay open. Carlos, please. Don’t be mean. Towering over you, he shakes his head.

“Linda, I could never be mean to you.”

Slipping your dress off, he groans when he sees you weren’t wearing anything underneath. He shuts his eyes as he tries to not finish inside his pants, which by the way, were starting to hurt. He pinches your nipple before slapping your tits. You hiss.

“Please tell me you did this for me and no one else…”

“You know it’s always been for you.”

With that, he stands up as he yanks his shirt off; jeans and boxers following right after. A bit worried, you find yourself staring at his rock hard dick. You had never been with some as big as him; it kind of looked as if it would split you right open. That didn’t stop you from wanting it, though.

“Don’t worry. I’ll prepare you nice and good, cariño.”

His lustful tone snaps you out of it as you nod. His fingers rub your wet folds as you cling onto his bicep. C-Carlos. “I know, baby, I know,” he coos as he focuses on the way your face pinches. He slowly starts slipping his finger in as you gasp at the thickness. So big and long. He chuckles. “Oh, come on now. It’s not even fully inside of you yet.”

Stunned, you look down and sure enough, it isn’t. You almost cry out when you notice it’s barely even the tip. “I don’t think it’s going to fit.” He kisses your temple as he slips his finger back out.

“Let’s start off with something else then.”

You almost pass out when he angles himself in front of your pussy. Glistening clit stares back at him as he moans. So pretty, he thinks as he touches you slowly. He stops himself, though, as he goes in for kitten licks instead. You squirm. His large hands pushed you down against the bed, to keep you in place.

“Do you want me to make the ache in between your legs go away?”

“Yes.”

His pink tongue teases you as he hums. You bite down sharply. “You’re going to have to stay still. Relax, bonita.” Following instructions, you close your eyes, trying your best to not think of the handsome Spaniard. As if that were possible. Impressed, he leans in again as he licks you, picking up your pre-cum. Oh, fuck.

Then it’s almost as if Carlos is taken over by something as he dives in like some animal. His stubble burns your legs, but you’re too fucked out to even care. You’re sure you're being loud, but how can you not be when he licks and sticks his tongue inside of you, exploring places you never knew existed. You choke back a moan when he rubs his nose against your clit, only adding to the euphoria.

“Yes. Oh. Fuck, yes.” Looking down at the brunette, you find him taking in your appearance as he rubs himself against the sheets; a way to try and pleasure himself. And that’s enough for you to cum all over his face. He smiles as he greedily tries to drink up everything you give him. He knows he lost control, but he loves the way you were able to keep up. To take everything he gave you.

And that was only going to multiply.

“You taste so fucking sweet,” he groans in between your legs, picking up the white nectar. Crying out, you push his face away as you gasp for air. He sucks your tits as you take a break. His tongue swirls around your bud as you wiggle against him like a fish that jumped out onto land. He laughs. “Can you handle my fingers, now?”

No, you whisper as you push him away. But he knows you’re giving up too soon. He knows there’s an animal inside of you and he’s just waiting for it to decide to join him. He ignores you as he slides his fingers down to your center. You mewl against him. “Hey, hey, I got you, cariño. I’m right here.”

His voice makes you clench harder against his fingers as he grins like a kid at a candy store. Slowly, you start dripping more than before, making it easier for his fingers to slide in and out of your hole. Can you handle a third? “Yes,” you respond, eyes still screwed shut. Hot air hits your ear.

“There she is…Good girl. Justo asi.”

Picking up speed, his fingers reach the gummy part inside of you as you scratch his arms in an attempt to remind yourself to not black out. His long fingers cross, doing figure 8’s as he touches your g-spot as if he knows your entire body better than any map. Leaning up, he bites down onto your nipple before sucking hard. You should be embarrassed with the way you squeal and shake against his actions, but he just made it so hard not to. Much to your surprise, if you dare believe it, he does the thing you last expected.

He adds a fourth digit.

“No, no, no,” you pathetically chant as your eyes fly open. He cocks his head to he side as he clicks in tongue as if seeing you struggle filled him with pride.

“Ah, ah, ah. Just trust me; do you trust me?”

He didn’t need to ask because he knew you did. I do, you whimper out as you start grinding against his fingers. Amazement fills his dark eyes as he looks down to where you clench around him, juices sliding down his arm. It only takes a couple of more swirls before your shriek, velvety walls clenching around him as you reach your climax.

Bringing his fingers up to his mouth, he licks your cum as if it were a meal he’s dreamed of having his entire life. Your mouth hangs open as you watch him lick them clean. You’re sure he’s going to fuck you now, but that flies out the window as he lays down as he drags you onto his face.

This man had stamina. Lots of it. You're trying to beg for a break of some sort. I can suck your dick. Give you a handjob. Just please let me rest. But he wasn’t even listening.

Maybe somewhere deep down, he knew this would be the only night he would have you to himself and if that meant no pauses, then he would push all your buttons.

Like a starved man, he starts licking you all over as you grind against his face. The way he sucks on your clit and adds his fingers make you squeal as you push down harder. His nose rubs against you in such a way, it has you seeing stars. He seems to be enjoying that though, as his moans vibrate against you. Biting hard onto your lip, you try to distract yourself as you reach behind you for his rock hard cock. The moment your small hand wraps around him, he growls like a lion.

Smug over his reaction, your hand slowly starts jerking him off as he eats you out with more urgency. It takes all of you to control your actions as he shakes his face in between your legs. S-slow down, Carlos. He grunts as his actions speed up, but so does your hand. Gripping onto his erection much harder, you furrow your brows as you twist your wrist. Choking on your juices, he opens his eyes wide, whimpers flying past his lips.

Smiling down like the devil, you nod as your hand picks up its pace. Now it's his turn to be groaning with pleasure. He seems to have forgotten what he was doing as he takes in strong whiffs of your aroma. You shudder when his warm breaths escape to warm up your dripping pussy.

His cock twitches and he seems to snap right back into it; already diving back into your hole. Lurching forward, you grip onto his hair as the other remains wrapped around him. It’s a game to see who can make the other cum first, and you were not about to be the loser.

Lively, you circle your thumb around his pink tip as he groans and finishes all around your hand. Sucking hard, he bites gently onto your clit as you screech and trap his head between your thighs. Shaking, you twitch against him as you reach your third orgasm that night. Huffing, you roll off him as he laps his tongue.

The way he looks at you makes you want to ride his face all over again, but you know you needed a break if you didn’t want the night to end so soon. Kneeling in front of him, you raise your ass up high as you lean down to wrap your lips around his cock. He flinches, slightly sensitive, but doesn’t dare push you away. Instead, he rubs your face with his calloused thumb; encouraging you. There's something so hot about the way your lips stretch around his fat cock. The way drool exits your mouth, messy blots of mascaras on the corners of your eyes.

Light of my life. Fire of my loins.

Gagging around him, you squeeze your eyes shut, feet curling up along the way. For sure, your throat would be bruised tomorrow, but you didn’t mind. In fact, you wanted that. Deepthroating him as best as you can, your small hands wrap around the rest of his length. He was huge. Dirty slurps bounce off the walls. You try your best to not pull away when you feel his sticky pre-cum connect inside your throat. Not when he looked so good with his head thrown back. His thick neck is a clear display. With his large hands wrapped around your hair as he fucks your face like theres no tomorrow. Spanish curses flowing past his lips.

“Que linda. Arrodillada como una santa.”

When you giggle around his erection, he groans, head thudding against the headboard. His mind quickly slips over to Ollie - but not in the way one might expect. It hits him like a truck when he compares her to you. With Ollie, she would last at least 20 minutes before calling it a night. He pretended not to mind - he would never force her to do something she doesn’t want to, of course - but once she would knock out, his large hand would slide down past his boxers, looking for a new release.

Then there’s you, ever so pretty. It seems like with everything you do, you want more. You sucking him off as if you’ve done this for him a lifetime ago. Sure, you’re struggling, but that only makes him harder. You’re trying to keep up with him and it’s working. Now, it’s like he’s the one trying to keep up. Swallowing, your throat closes around him as he flies forward, voice cracking as he presses for more.

Glossy eyes look back up at him as you repeat your action. With one last blow, he pulls out as he cums all over your face. His dick immediately gets hard again when you smile wide, fingers going to pick up his mess. Greedily, you pout as you wrap your lips around your finger like the lollipop you had been sucking on a few hours ago.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, abs contracting together as he tries his best to even out his breaths.

“Will you fuck me now?”

You’re moving at a snail's pace as you lick his sweaty neck. A chill runs down his spine with the feeling of your warm tongue. Grinding slowly against his thigh, you throw your head back with pleasure, wet lips rubbing against him. He smiles.

“You’re a dirty girl, you know that?”

“I thought that’s what you liked about me, papi.”

In a flash, he flips you onto your back as he hovers over you like a giant. A beautiful, beautiful, giant. His large muscles he works so hard for stare back at you as you admire with an open mouth. It looks as if he could carry mountains on his shoulders. Dilated pupils admire you as you let out a pathetic whimper. Long gone were his brown eyes as they now appear completely black. Sensual.

“Then you should be fucked as such.”

With that, he swings your tan legs over his broad shoulders, practically bending you like a pretzel. You pat yourself on the back for all those pilate classes. Jerking himself off a bit, he looks straight at you, making sure this was something you wanted. The way you bat your cartoon eyes is all he needs to slip inside of you.

First thing he notices is how tight you are despite him already stretching you out to perfection. Raw moans leave both your lips as you try your best to adjust to his size. You had been with men before - that’s all you really knew - but no one’s cock had ever made you burn with such satisfaction. More than satisfaction. He’s reassuring you with his words in order for you to relax.

I’ve got you, preciosa. Just let go for me. I’m right here.

Still, you can’t help but squirm underneath him. His fingers make their way to your mouth as you stare back confused. Suck, he commands before forcing them in. Caught off guard, you gag around them for a bit before your tongue begins to twirl around them. Your cheeks burn up as you hear your low mewls. Ah- ah- ah, you cry out against his digits as he grins down at you. Retracting them, he slides them down to your clit as he starts rubbing small circles.

“Oh God.”

Instantly, you open up against his tired cock as he hums. There you go, he praises as you make it easier for him to thrust into you. You should both be ashamed of the way gushy sounds bloom from your mixed cum. Or the way he pounds into you so hard and fast that it has you sliding further back against the bed, hair tangling along the way. His fingers dig into your calves as he holds them in place.

“Mierda,” he wheezes as he throws his head back, ripping his eyes away from the way your puffy clit envelopes around him. Pants and whimpers escape you as you arch your back from the fulfillment.

Carlos is a man - you know that - but in this moment; right now: he’s proving it the way a scientist would their hypothesis. His cock brushes against your g-spot as you gasp at the sensation. He’s looking at you as if you held the key to all secrets.

The keys for the gate to Heaven.

Though he knows that this all feels like Heaven, he deserves nothing but Hell for cheating on Ollie. But that’s the least of his worries.

“Does that feel good, bonita?”

Wide eyes look up at him desperately as you nod to the point where your neck starts to ache. Yes - Oh God, yes. So good, Carlitos. Yeah, baby - right there. Snapping his hips harder against you, your mind goes foggy with the way his hair flops around him. Sweat causing long strands to stick to his face. Beads of sweat drip down your legs as he presses sloppy kisses. His cheeks look as if he’s been out in the sun for hours.

In this moment; he looked immortal.

“Carlos, I’m gonna-”

“Hold it.”

Like a doll, you flop back against the bed as you start to leak acid. No - please. Don’t ask me to do that. Feeling a sharp sting, you gasp. His hands dives back in to massage your cheek after slapping you. He cocks his head with fake sympathy. “I know you can do it,” - thrust - “Wait for me, yeah?”

You have no word as you wail - tits bouncing with every assault from his hip. Your stomach burns with the way his abs glisten, with the way his bottom lip juts out, or the way his muscles shine with a layer of sweat as they hug your legs like a teddy bear.

He was yours. In this moment, he was yours.

“Alright, linda-” He brushes your hair out of your face as he wipes your sweat with his hand. “Cum for me?”

It’s an out of body experience the moment you squirt around his dick - the way your tummy feels like it's on fire. Sore groans leave his lips as he finishes inside of you, brown eyes trained on the way you gush around him. He freezes in place at the feeling. You squirm for a few seconds below falling limp against the bed. The room smells like nothing but filthy sex.

Pulling out of you, he carefully places your legs back down before kissing your ribs. Then your bruised tits. Then your cheeks, forehead, and lastly, your lips that taste like home. Sighing against him, you try your best to remember the way he kisses you as if you're the only form of oxygen that exists. As if this were a dystopian world and you were the only source of survival.

He pecks your lips once more before brushing his fingers against your temple. “Get some sleep.” Yawning, you nod as your eyes flutter like a butterfly's wings. Will you stay? And he doesn’t know what takes over him when he says-

“I will.”

When you wake up you notice it’s still dark out. The moon shines, eyes flickering around, looking for the Spaniard. You let out a low breath of relief when you see him sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Ollie,” he whispers into the phone as he runs a hand against his jaw. “...I made a mistake.”

Your heart stops with his words. He makes sure to speak low, thinking you're sound asleep. She - I - it was a mistake. She’s just a kid…Fuck. She’s just a child. Your heart shatters with the evident blame in his voice. You weren’t a kid. Sniffling, you stop breathing when you realize you’re crying. He pauses for a moment before standing up and making sure you’re okay. Bringing the phone up against his ear, he shakes, already walking out the door.

“Where are you? Let me just see you, amor. I’ll explain it all.”

There’s a saying that goes: You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same.

You would personally like to punch that person in the face. It’s not true. It doesn’t beat the same - because then why does it hurt everytime it pounds against your chest? Why is it hard to breath when the priest says-

“You may now kiss the bride!”

Everyone’s faces are blurry; cheers sound far away. You can’t be too sure you're standing upright as your father beams at the sight of Ollie pressing her lips up against Carlos. The way his hands slide down to her waist as shows her off proudly like some champion ring is what hurts the most. You feel flames all over your skin, letting out a flinch when your fathers signals for you to clap, too.

You don’t know what happened after that night. Whether Ollie forgave him or not - though clearly she had. Maybe she didn’t know about you the same way he didn’t know about Ben. This was all starting to feel like some nightmare. But it’s very much real life with the way the newlyweds hold hands, smiling brightly as guests throw a mixture of confetti and baby breath.

“Nice ceremony.”

“What? Oh.” You shrug towards Max as he points over at the couple. “Y-yeah. It was…”

He goes over his next words for a moment because Lord knows that if he has it all wrong then he would appear to be the biggest jerk to ever exist. “You fell in love with him, didn’t you?”

“I-I-I’m not sure I understand,” you trample over your words as your cheeks burn the same color of your red dress. He shares a small smile.

“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.”

Walking away, you’re left alone, second guessing everything. The violin seemed too happy. The guests seemed too bright. All of this was fake, couldn’t they see? Pursing your lips, you try your best to hide your broken heart as you catch up with old friends. How is college? How does it feel like having a brother-in-law who drives for Formula 1? Must feel pretty great, right?

The night is boring. Half of it you spend faking smiles and the other you spend trying to avoid the Spaniard. Life was better back in Spain, where ironically, he was never around despite it being his home country. You’re in the middle of conversing with the Dutchman - who quite frankly is an honest listener - when Ollie walks up looking like a ball of whipped cream. Can I talk to my sister alone, please? Max’s concerned eyes ask if you’re okay with that as you nod. Slumping away, he squeezes your knee one last time.

Blue Velvet plays as she fixes herself onto the stool right next to you. “Have you tried the cocktails? They have cherry flavored; your favorite.” Something about her sweet voice makes you unsteady as you raise a brow. She shows off her veneers. “This is weird. Sorry. I’m just so…happy.”

“Good to know.”

“But enough about me!” She places her left hand over yours, shiny rock sitting perfectly. You wince. “I want to talk about you! How’s school?”

“Like you care.”

She pouts. “I do now…” You furrow your brows. What do you mean now? She gasps. “Oh, you poor thing! You don’t know I know!” Your stomach drops. “Well, you know, as your older sister, I’m also your guardian since our mother is too fucked up to look after you…And a little birdie filled me in on your reputation back in Spain.” She giggles as she takes a sip of your drink. “Doesn’t surprise me, though. It only makes sense that you keep messing around with men old enough to be your father. You always had a thing for those.”

“What does this have to do with anything?”

Ollie grins ear to ear when she notices how annoyed you’ve become. “Carlos told you he was born in Madrid, right? Okay, well, he also has a whole bloodline there. And let’s just say, a cousin of his - my goodness, his daughters are beautiful - is a professor at your Uni.”

No.

“And well this birdie also told me how you’ve been sneaking in and out of his lecture room, late at night. And I wonder…What have you and him been doing behind closed doors?”

It can’t be.

Professor Vázquez de Castro, he says as he extends his hand out, eyes roaming every inch of your body.

Suddenly, the name sounds familiar. The surname is Carlos’ extended one. Ollie’s eyes shine. “I see it’s clicking.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to leave me and my husband alone. I want you to grab your things and leave. Don’t look back; just leave. Don’t contact papi ever again. I don’t want to hear a single thing from you. It’s bad enough you’ve already fucked my spouse.”

She knows. He told her. And they still got married.

“Ollie, don’t…”

Tugging your hand harshly, she slaps her phone on it. And you don’t know how, but in it, it’s a video of you riding your Professor - Carlos’ cousin.

“Leave or I’ll show this to him. Your choice.”

Wet sobs leave your mouth as you shake your head in disbelief. How did this happen? Who took this video?

“Ollie, please…I love him.”

Her gaze sharpens as she takes the phone back and stands up. “You know what to do.”

Bringing your shaky hand up to your lips, you stare in shock. Wobbly legs walk past Max as he asks if you’re okay. One last smile looks back at him before you brush past by.

Carlos is craning his neck, looking for you. He had confessed that night, but so had Ollie. He was breaking off the engagement. Spilling apologies as she cried against his chest. Despite it all, he still cared for your sister. But he knew it wasn’t going to work out. He was ready to leave when she brought up the tape of you and a cousin he didn’t even know he had. I’ll get her expelled. Don’t do this, Carlos. And so he stayed. He knew how much you loved school, regardless of what others might think. I just want to help others, you swooned one day by the pool. It’s what I wish someone had done for me.

You get to him before he spots you as you tap on his shoulder. He fills up with worry when he sees your red brimmed eyes. Sheepishly, you take his handkerchief as you wipe your rosy nose. What happened? Who made you cry? You shrug.

“Carlos…I love you.” He blinks. You let out a wet laugh as you lean up to kiss him. You didn’t care who saw anymore. This was it. He doesn’t seem to care either as his hands wrap around your waist. Holding you close, as if you might vanish into thin air. He was the waves, you were the shore. Pulling away, you wink. “Save me a dance, yeah?”

Then, you’re walking away. Becoming smaller as you stroll over to the Italian house. Clutching his chest, he chokes: I-I…I.

“Carlos!”

Turning to face Ollie, he sees her waving him over to the giant cake.

“Coming.”

Running into the quiet house, he calls your name. He looks behind every door, hoping to find the girl in red. Stumbling up the stairs, he swings your door open. He breathes heavily when he doesn’t find you, even here. Panicked, he grips his hair in despair. Only then, does it occur to him to open the restroom door, hoping to not scare you.

“¿Bonita?”

Silence. He still pushes it open as he carefully walks in, finding no harm in checking. And why? Why couldn’t he be as truthful like you were? Risk it the way you would have willingly done. Why did he let you walk into the house alone?

Falling to his knees, he desperately crawls over to your lifeless body, dark blood flowing from your wrists.

As red as your dress.

He must be dreaming. This can’t be real. Surely, it can’t.

“No, no, no.” He drags your limp body into his arms. He can’t even pinpoint the moment his tears flow down his face. “Bonita, no. No. No. No.” The Spaniard cradles your colorless face into his hands. He gently taps your face a few times, but almost stops breathing himself when it only rolls back. Blood stains his white shirt. “Hey, hey. C’mon, please. You want me to say it?” Hurriedly, he picks up your head as he kisses your lips over and over. He winces when he feels how chapped they’ve become.

“It doesn’t feel forced. I’m not saying it because I think it’s what you want to hear - I love you. I do. I love you as infinite as the ocean. I love the way you laugh, the way you trip over anything in your way, the way you say my name…I love you.”

But he knew you weren’t listening. Not anymore.

A piece of him died that day along with you. After that, life was a sickening blur. He’s out of it the moment he hears your father yelling out in agony or when Ollie screams at the gruesome scene.

None of it mattered anymore.

5K notes · View notes

reiderwriter · 7 months ago

Text

🧺 Any More 🧺

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 2024

Requested: spencer realizing that he’ll never love someone as much as he loves you. (whether that be because of a case or what have you), his mind is absolutely blown with how much he worships you and how much you love and care for him and he shows you that with the softest most sickeningly sweet sex you and him has ever done. <3

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI! Discussions of case details, case burnout, very close friends to lovers, oral (f receiving), vanilla sex (p in v penetration). Discussions of mental health, and two idiots in love.

A/N: I'm hitting the prompt Vanilla for this one, so please don't be scared off by the KinkBingo tags! I had a lot of fun writing this one (and adding Pride and Prejudice quotes into the smut scene because HELLO). Let me know what you think in the replies~♡

Masterlist || Bingo Board

You hadn't seen Spencer in 100 days. Which in the grand scheme of things wasn't that long, trapped in the purgatory of a ‘what if’ the way you had been for the last eight years.

You'd lived without him for longer than 100 days before. He'd been in prison, you'd been on assignments, you'd lived an entire life before meeting him, but now somehow 100 days was too much time, and you were exhausted. You understood why Spencer had to take some time away from you, from the team in an official capacity after everything he'd been through. You supported him even.

But when even your free time didn't overlap anymore, you wondered if your relationship would ever be the same again.

Spencer was a friend, your best friend, probably. You'd arrived on the BAU team, he'd rattled off some statistics, stammering the way through them, and you'd immediately warmed to the man. He was brilliant, funny, and fiercely loyal, and you tried your best to protect him even when the job seemed designed to break people like him into thousands of little pieces.

You'd tried to convince him to leave before, after Maeve had died. You didn't want to see him heart broken again, but no one else had seemed to agree.

“Reid needs purpose,” they'd said. “Reid needs something to do.”

What Reid needed was to not end up dead before he had a chance to be happy, and happiness didn't come often in your field of work.

You'd been almost vindicated a year later when he'd been shot again, almost fatally. Vindicated, maybe but distraught and inconsolable. Morgan had to carry you screaming and clawing out of his hospital room multiple times. It sounded stupid enough to yourself that it was only then you realized your feelings for the man.

You wanted to be Spencer Reid's happiness, which was why you were so lost without him.

He was coming back on Monday, and at least you had the weekend to sort your feelings out about everything.not just about him, but about the job you'd found didn't fit you well enough anymore, about the team you loved like family, about the relationship you knew would likely never come to fruition.

You dumped your bags at your door when you'd arrived in your house that night, pushed yourself into your bedroom and let yourself collapse on your bed, balling up into as cozy a position as you could. You didn't even bother taking your jacket off, you just let your brain haze over and sleep rush in.

Three quiet raps at your door lifted you up and out of bed again, not an hour later.

You grabbed your phone, grabbed the second go-bag you kept at your house, put your shoes back on, and opened the door, expecting Emily and a new case.

“Where are we going?” You said, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, not even looking up at your guest.

“Hopefully, nowhere? I brought takeout.”

Your eyes widened then, taking in all 185cm of Doctor Spencer Reid, tweed jacket and plastic bag full of chow mein included.

“Spencer,” you breathed out, like a sigh of relief, letting the bag drop to the floor next to the first one and letting yourself into his arms.

He held you carefully there for a second before leading you back into the apartment, wrapping an arm around you and ruffling your hair. It was brotherly, and it made you sick to your stomach.

“What are you doing here?”

“Emily said you were back from a case,” he started, unpacking the takeaway from the containers. “And it feels wrong to eat this without you.”

You rolled your eyes and followed him into the kitchen, pulling two forks out of the drawer nearer you and stabbing them in the top of your two cups.

“Hey, I can use chopsticks now,” he said, defending himself against an inside joke. Spencer was always useless with his hands.

“I don't care if you can use them, I care that they don't accidentally end up stabbing me,” you said, taking yourself back to your bedroom, Spencer following.

“You'd hardly die from being stabbed by a wooden chopstick, maybe a papercut or a splinter but-”

“But you're just bad enough that I don't want to risk it.”

You kicked off your shoes again and climbed onto your bed. Spencer followed.

“Remind me again why we aren't sitting on your couch?”

“Uncomfortable.”

“Or at your breakfast bar?”

“Glorified filing cabinet right now. Eat.”

He shook his head but complied, leaning back against your pillows as you both began carefully eating. Silently, you pulled your laptop onto your bed, opened it up, and pressed play on a movie, one you'd seen more than once, and you'd forced Spencer to watch before as well.

In a comfortable, friendly silence, you finished your food. You stretched out in a yawn once and then curled into his side, letting his mumbling voice, repeating the movie lines as they were spoken, lull you softly into sleep.

Spencer knew he had to leave, but he couldn't bring himself to wake you. The movie had finished hours ago, he'd closed the laptop and turned off the bug lights, but he couldn't leave.

Unlike you, he hadn't counted the days that you'd been apart. He hadn't needed to. He knew you'd be waiting there for him when he returned, knew you'd give him a smile and a pat on the back, and immediately start bouncing ideas off of him. It was what he loved about you.

As he laid next to you in your bed, a place he'd absolutely been before, his heart thumped. Just once, but hard.

Even in sleep, you looked exhausted. Your shirt was crumpled, hair a mess, you were still wearing makeup, and he knew he'd probably get an earful for letting you sleep like that in the morning. You were a mess, and he still wanted you.

The thought came to him suddenly, another painful thump of his chest echoing in his mind. He rubbed absent mindedly at his chest as if experiencing heartburn. In the dim light of the room, he let his head drop to the pillow and wrapped two shaky arms around you and pulled you in closer.

The two of you were a picture - both in suits, both with badges still somewhere on your person, both dearly clinging to the person they feared losing the most.

When you woke the next morning, it was actually the afternoon.

“Spencer,” you groaned, melting under the heat of his embrace. Somehow, during the night, he'd rolled on top of you, pressing you into the bed with a delightful pressure, head nuzzled into your neck, arms tucked around your waist.

“Spencer, we should get up,” you said again, forcing your eyelids apart as your mascara tried to glue them together.

“Mmmmhh,” he groaned, moving to pick himself up off you for a minute but lowering himself again. If asked, he'd blame your hand in his hair, stroking the rogue curls gently, as if he were a prized pet and you their carer.

“Spencer, its 2pm.”

“On a Saturday.” You laughed at how pouty his voice sounded, but he complied and rolled off of you slightly, arms still wrapped around you.

“Come on. Get up. I've got some clothes that might fit you, let's get you out of the tweed.”

He huffed but nodded and lifted himself halfway to upright, eyes still closed lazily as he let in the light millimetre by millimetre.

“God, my face feels horrible,” you said, itching at your nose. “How did we even sleep so long like this? My belt is still on, Spencer, my belt.”

“If you were still wearing a weapon, then I'd be worried,” he smiled.

You shot him a sarcastic look and finally detangled yourself, only to clasp his hands and pull him forward as well, letting him trail you to your closet.

“Here, change in the bathroom,” he nodded and walked away, following directions with eyes still closed, as if it were really his apartment and not your own.

100 days without him, and it was as if it had only been 100 hours. Your entire body chemistry changed when he was around, the stick holding your spine rigidly in place, dissolving into calm, into a smile and a free giggle. It felt right again, and you almost forgot you'd ever felt wrong.

After briefly changing, you swapped place with Spencer, who'd exited the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and wet hair.

“Dry it for me?” He asked, sitting on your couch, and you nodded your ascent. A shower and a quick change later, and you were doing just that.

As much as he tried to keep his head upright, it kept lolling onto your thigh, yawns stretching out of him as he nuzzled closer to you.

“Spencer, you're like a big kid, keep your head up.”

“I'm not a kid,” he laughed, hooking his arms behind your knees and nuzzling closer into your soft sweats. “I'm just tired.”

“You're right. A child would probably be better behaved.”

“Our child would be,” he sighed, but you'd already turned the hairdryer back on, drowning out everything. Everything but that thump again. A child, he was thinking about children, and more importantly, he was thinking about your children. With him.

He'd always imagined himself with a family, knowing it would ultimately stay in his imagination. But for a second, his visions changed. It wasn't just a child or two. It was you. Thump.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

He only released the image when you finally pushed his head off of you and stood, turning away from him to get a glass of water from your kitchen.

“So, any plans today? Books to read, papers to mark, undergrads to run away screaming from?” You let the ice water cool your hot cheeks, but kept your back to him. You were hot, embarrassed, and you were looking at him in a sickeningly sweet way that could only be described as love struck or struck dumb.

“No, no, I finished all my obligations at the college yesterday,” he said, following behind you and picking up your cup when you set it down, taking a sip himself.

“I was… I was actually hoping we could spend some time together? Unless you had plans, which is totally fine-”

“No, Spencer, yeah, I have no plans, that's…. Well I have to do laundry, which is a bit boring but, no. No plans.”

“Laundry?”

“Two week case in Florida, I don't know how you didn't smell me yesterday, Spencer. I'd be running for the hills.”

He laughed and stepped away again, grabbing the two go bags by the door and coming back into your space.

“How about we get this done now so we can spend the day in a Who-Trek marathon?”

“Make that a Who-Greys Anatomy Marathon, and you have yourself a deal.”

He pouted again, and you snorted at the sight, taking another sip of water to calm yourself before you could react safely to that face.

“Come on, you know you've been dying to know what happens next at the Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital.”

“I thought it was called the Seattle Grace Mercy?”

“Oh we better get to that laundry now. You have a lot to catch up on.”

Grabbing a bag in one hand and his free hand in your other, you made your way down to your building's laundry room. But despite the man by your side and the relaxing day threatening to stretch ahead of you, a gloom caught you in the corridors.

You'd worked for two weeks, practically solid. You'd killed a man two days ago, or at least someone on your team had multiple shots having been fired. Another day on your job, another unsub felled, and everyone else was content with this just being a part of the job description.

It felt like each step towards the laundry room, each thing you did that was normal, that was regular, threw back in your face the pain you endured to save lives.

The bag in your hand weighed you down, pulling you lower and lower by the second.

You reached the laundry room, and you found the weight almost unbearable, stopping just before you could step in. You didn't have to think about what came next though, because suddenly the bag was out of your hands and Spencer was sorting your laundry for you.

“It's a Saturday, so your neighbour's won't complain if we separate the darks and lights into two machines, will they?” He asked, not looking up at you as he worked pouring out the fabric softener and the detergent. “Y/N?”

You hadn't noticed the lightness in your body until the tears hit your cheeks, the weight gone with his support.

“Y/N, what is it? What's wrong?” He said, hands cupping your face, because of course he was immediately at your side.

“I-I can't do it, Spencer…” your voice shook, pitching upwards, your vision blurring with tears.

“Can't do what, Y/N? Talk to me please, let me help?”

“I can't do laundry!” You said, finally bursting into a full fit of tears and burying your head in his waiting chest.

“L-Laundry?” He said, trying not to laugh, but the smile slipping out anyway now you were holding him.

You only sobbed again, nodding into his shirt, aware you were probably leaving snot all over it but not being able to care. It was your shirt anyway. You would just have to add it back to your laundry pile.

The thought set you off on another wave of sobs, and Spencer set about comforting you again. Keeping an arm wrapped around you, he put his quarters into the machines and set them off before quickly ushering you back up the stairs into your apartment.

“Y/N? Y/N, please talk to me,” he begged, smoothing your hair out of your eyes as you tried to gather yourself.

“I don't…. I can't….” You took a breath again, aware of the way your breathing hitched in your chest as you did.

“I don't think I can do this anymore,” you said, and his eyes widened quickly.

“This? Y/N, if you mean this as in us, then I can't-”

“This job,” you clarified, hands digging into the soft flesh of his arms further as he held you, finally sitting back on your couch.

“The job. Okay, the job. That's okay. We all feel like this at some point.”

You sniffed again and refused to meet his eyes.

“But this isn't like the other times this - It's like my whole b-body is protesting, and I can't sleep, and if I don't, then I might get sloppy and an unsub could-”

“Y/N, focus on my voice. You're spiralling. Listen to my voice, let's take some breaths, and think about this for a second.”

He guided you through some breathing, a hand on your back tapping out beats even as his voice grew quiet.

When you finally relaxed, you were sat on top of him, his hand rubbing circles into your back.

“I think it started when you left,” you whispered. “When you went to Mexico, and then, you know,” you've voice thickened, and you couldn't get the words out.

“And then these last 100 days they've just been…difficult.”

“100…difficult,” he echoed, almost breathless as he listened to you.

“It's like I can't do it without you. I never had to try to do it without you, and now I get what people say when they say this job is shitty, because it is when your best friend isn't there.”

You gave him a weak smile and wiped away your tears, trying to climb from his lap. But his firm arms held you still, and you didn't really want out anyways.

“When I get home, everything is different, and I can't make myself do anything. If you weren't here, I wouldn't have done that laundry. I'd let it sit and avoid it for weeks. Do you understand?”

“Y/N, lots of people feel depressed sometimes-”

“It's not - Spencer, I don't think this is something I can medicate my way out of. I don't know what to do because I can't do my job without you, and I can't be happy doing my job, and if I leave my job I'll be without you and then-”

Your voice cracked again.

“And then I still won't be happy.” The words were barely a whisper, but they were a plea, too. You weren't sure what for.

“You can't be happy without me?” He asked, but it was more a statement than anything else. Spencer felt horrible in that moment as his chest rattled, gleeful that he was your happiness.

“I love you,” he said, outloud finally after eight years.

“I love you, too, Spencer, but-”

“No, Y/N. Listen to me. I. Love. You.” The thumping of his heart set the tempo for the choir that was his senses to begin singing, as he finally leaned forward and kissed you.

“I love you, and I don't care if you're working at the BAU or if you're avoiding laundry at home. I, god, you're amazing and wonderful, and you're a human being, and you've our yourself under so much pressure for the last decade to keep me alive, to keep all of us alive really and….”

He took another breath, leaning into kiss you one more time.

“And you deserve a break.”

“W-When we take breaks, people die.”

“Did anyone die when I was teaching for the last three months? When JJ went on maternity leave?”

You shook your head, but your brain was still a mess.

“You all had reasons, I-”

“You have reasons, too. Y/N…. Y/N, let me be your reason.”

For a moment or two, Spencer truly thought you were going to say no. He thought you would get up and walk away, or better yet, ask him to leave and never come back.

So when you pressed your lips to his, he was sure that this was a dream.

But to you, it was salvation. Spencer Reid's love was the lifeline you'd been thrown, and it was buoyant enough to make you start floating.

His hands kneaded the flesh at your hips as he pulled you closer still to him, his tongue slipping into your mouth to explore every part of you there.

“Y/N… love…you,” he mumbled with each spare breath he caught, and you only detangled your lips to hear him say it again as he pressed similarly heated kisses against every inch of your exposed skin.

When Spencer's mind lost its ability to create original speech, he leant back on a lifetime of information, of learning love through books and people and marathons with you.

“I know that all I know right now is that I love you. And I know that I always will,” he whispered, lifting you and carrying you back to the bed you'd only crawled from an hour hence.

A hand slid under your shirt, and slowly pushed it over your head, letting it slowly drop to the floor as he held you tenderly.

“To me, you are perfect.”

His mouth found one nipple, and he gently kissed, then suckled at it, hands softly caressing your stomach, feeling along every ridge of you as you writhed under him.

“Of all the FBI Units, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.”

“Spencer,” you said, voice still thick with tears, but these ones more tender, more joyful.

His hand eased your sweats over your ass and off, his hips settling between your legs as if he found the place he was made to lie forever.

“The truth of it is, I’ve loved you from the first second I met you.”

His mouth trailed lower until his tongue hit your clit, brushing against it languidly, as if it was his deepest desire to taste you and nothing else ever again.

His tongue flattened and flicked and pushed inside of you as you replayed his words again and again and again. You found yourself repeating them with him.

“I love you,” you echoed as he pushed a finger inside of you.

“I.. love you,” you gasped as he added another.

“I love you,” you screamed as your back arched up off the bed, finding your pleasure in his tongue, just ad you'd found love in his words.

“You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love….” He freed his cock from his pants, and took it in hand.

“I love…” With another kiss, he pressed the tip of it against you, asking for permission silently as you nodded your head.

“I love you.” He pushed in slowly, but it wouldn't matter how he did it because now you knew how he felt, and you didn't want to return to a time of not knowing.

Hooking your legs around him, Spencer dropped his forehead to yours and looked you directly in the eyes as he began moving. In and out, he thrust, mouth open in a moan of pleasure, likely mirroring your own.

The poetry, the movie lines, they were gone now, and Spencer was left with nothing but you, and love, and love for you.

“Spencer,” you moaned out, and he felt his chest swell. Pride. His name on your tongue, his body pressed to yours, claiming you as his ad you claimed him as yours.

He came with a shudder and you were not far behind, his undoing sending a shiver up your spine as his fingers grazed your clit again.

You sat panting for a minute, still attached, still forehead to forehead.

You weren't sure if it was him who giggled first or if it was you, but you were glad it was one of you.

You spent the rest of the night, the rest of the weekend, wrapped in his warmth, dressed in his love, taking each day a step at a time as you basked in his adoration.

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