#day that im at least convincing at faking it. the derealization is seriously starting to get so bad and its almost like im masquerading as
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i need to be euthanized
#genuinely so fucking miserable every waking day of my life and sometimes im like well maybe its just my job i could always quit but recently#ive come to the conclusion that no matter where i am no matter what i do i will always be like this i will always be trapped in a mind that#wants nothing more than to cease to function. i dont even know how to properly interact with the world around me i just hope and pray every#day that im at least convincing at faking it. the derealization is seriously starting to get so bad and its almost like im masquerading as#myself... like im a parasite that took over this body and now im just here to suffer the rest of my days. i cant remember the last time i#was ever truly happy without that always-there feeling of dread. i wish i had the guts to kill myself but truthfully i dont think i ever#will so hopefully i get ran over or diagnosed with cancer or something#ok vent over back to work
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