#dawg i cant even thing straight after that

[halfetirosie]

My obituary shall say, "Died after watching Rei's Unfulfilled Dream R5" (excessive blood loss)

At first I was like:

And by the end I was like:

Here's some tidbits from the room for you, fam:

REI IS ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE AND AN ABSOLUTE TSUN, BUT HE AINT FOOLING EIDEN

THEY HUG

EWHGNNJBVIEBVIUQEBVUIEBVIENV HIS FACE OHMYGOD REI WHY ARE YOU SO SEXYYYY

EIDEN IS AN ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART THE WHOLE TIME

Of course, when they're done Rei does his typical tsun behavior, but like I said, he aint fooling anyone

♡♡(⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄uo̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝)♡♡

[myunghology]

XIAO , SCARAMOUCHE , KAZUHA general relationship headcanons.

!! gender neutral reader, completely sfw, fluff. tw ? ; none ( song reco )

!! XIAO

you guys are definitely taking it slow, he still has to adjust y'know. even if he's over 2,000 years old, i doubt he's ever been in a romantic relationship. ( is that an insult ? ; maybe )

overprotective, doesn't care who it is, he just is. the only exception is probably zhongli and ganyu. still unsure about traveler, but i'm leaning to maybe yes.

"who's that? why are you acting so close with them? do i know them? have you mentioned them before?" "....xiao that's one of my family members." "oh."

easily flustered. he can either cover it up easily, or he can't. there's no in between, or that's up to you if you want to decide.

can't express his feeling's properly. this ones a little bit toxic, but if you didn't want accurate headcanons then i think you came to the wrong blog.

but you cant really blame him, he's naturally like that. and it's probably gonna take him a long time to actually open up about his feelings, but if you're an understanding and patient person, then that's better.

he'll probably ignore you if he's jealous, but i guess that's how he copes dawg

he'd want you to come to him first more than him actually confronting you.

but put all that aside- he gives you little things that reminded him of you whenever he goes somewhere. he would sometimes give you a random cute hairpin and said that it'd suit you, which it did.

that's what makes your relationship so cute, he does these little things that make you smile, like taking you out to places where he thinks it's pretty, just like you. he thinks. he does this because he doesn't know how else to express it. ( shakespeare could never amirite )

!! SCARAMOUCHE

mOTHERFUCKER NUMBER 2 WHO ALSO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS

it's ironic enough that him and xiao are similar in relationships, more so that they absolutely can't express their feelings properly.

but what's different is that he expresses it more aggressive about it. more passive-aggressive probably.

buys you stuff you want without even asking, if he sees you looking at it then he buys it for you the next day, maybe even something better, but still the same design.

you tell him to stop spending his money on you when you don't even need it, but he tells you to just be good and take it. you give in, because it'd be a waste if he bought it and he'd just give it right back after.

but if you like it that way, then he's your personal sugar daddy now congratulations

denies it whenever you call him out when he's being shy, especially when you flirt back, this guy is a hard flirt, only to you of course.

there may be tons of women or men who are into him, but he's only looking at you, if he wanted to cheat, he can. but he doesn't.

"i don't understand why you're so worried about that, you know i'll only always be with you." ( AGOI )

( HE SAY THAT IM GOOD ENOUGH GRABBIN MY DUHDUHDUH THINKIN BOUT SHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HA-)

but then again, he also says straight forward about problems into a relationship, because he wants to avoid them in the future.

you guys fight sometimes, and i mean teasing by the way, not an actual fight. but fights aren't really rare when you're with him.

it's usually caused because of a misunderstanding.

they do say you fight with the people you love the most

!! KAZUHA

probably the most normal one out of all of them here i fear. sweetest boyfriend ever

bros the whole package

he says whatever's making him uncomfortable in a relationship and he encourages you to do the same and not be ashamed, probably because you two have already been through everything together once you've even started dating.

also he's a very understanding person, and he's willing to listen to you no matter what situation it is.

his love language is probably words of affirmation, saying he loves you out of the blue is his favorite part of the day.

"i love you so much" "..h..huh..?"

10x more soft spoken to you than he is to other people, i know his voice is naturally like that, but he can't help but treat you like your fragile, especially if you're emotional. but if you don't want him to, then he won't push it. especially if you don't like feeling belittled.

closeted sadist

won't force you to do things you don't want to do, but he definitely encourages you.

never and i mean never comments anything rude or disrespectful at you, especially about your appearance. the only things he comments are compliments.

but if you truly want advice for your looks then he'll recommend a hair, clothing switch or something like that, "maybe that would look better, but you really suit anything and everything" he says.

gives you love letters whenever he's away, probably once a week so you don't go overthinking. you don't have to worry about him cheating either, beidou has promised you that she'd tell you if he cheats ( and crush his testicles ) , and obviously, kazuha isn't that type of person, you'd know for sure.

[ionicslime]

Excuse me waiter my full name is,

Ionic "im already in cool mode" "tutorial character" "i will get a color role if you beat the path of pain in hollow knight" " @king-of-fuffies do radiant gruz mother" "ADMIN WATCH DAWGS HES TRY TO CHANGE MY COLOR WITHOUT MY CONSENT" "THERE WAS NO BASEMENT! IT WAS THE SECOND FLOOR OF MY HOUSE!" "i don't know what a bong is. WHAT THE FUCK IS A BONG" "there should be a suggestion box on this server. THEY CALL IT THE LITTERBOX" "im going to take an emergency shit" "YOU FORGOT TO PICK UP THE LEGO ON THE FLOOR" "i was the best man AND the pope" "does this look like the face of mercy" "you own him therefore you are responsible for them" "the" "you are the father" "if im a moth do i deal 2 masks of damage" "my body is ready" "if it needs a color role you'll never take me alive" "it was funny but also" "extremely" "extremely" "extremely" "extremely" "cursed" "carleah, not pillar john" "he soaks up more damage that way" "everyone has a horror game dopelganger" "Ruck" "Fuffy get your man’s, He exploded" "I need to find Carleah and steal their liver to take their ability to open the thousand-one year door" "Only then Keane McZupp will explode turning into a bagel at 3 am after ordering the among us happy meal" "ethereal toasters are the only thing that can control toast" "all toasters have secret potato slots" "he is several parallel universes behind" "the internet is a giant mcdonalds" "I’m a ocean" "i cant even throw you, much less pick you up" "he didn't know FedEx had a stand" "funny words magic man" "nothing to see here" "Za Waldo!" "Remember besties, don’t blow stuff in peoples faces unless it’s air kisses, or darts!" "fuffy left me in the car for 4 hours" "There are no mistakey wakeys" "Fuffy I’m like 300% sure you are a pony" "He was pouring out lemonade into the abyss" "**Fuffy was ejected. One Sussy Boy remains**" "The abyss was thirsty" "A funny" "I am not safe for clothes driers" "Can your wall eat a lawn mower" "squirrels do not die at terminal velocity. also theres lizards that fire blood from their eyes as a defense mechanicism" “I bowl like my sexuality: Not straight” "short" "You have 5 minutes to live" "IM A FUCKING CAR KEANE" "\*I mean edgy I mean edgy I mean edgy I mean Edgy" "What is this mario party" "no" "brain issue" "i even crashed your computer" “Seduce the Skeleton!” “Kentucky Fried [REDACTED]” "im scared of my own pasta power sometimes" "He becomes noise pizza tower" "Anything is possible, with the power of Crazy Dave’s Twinkysdinkys" "he eats the golf ball and dies" “Everything is a weapon if you hit someone hard enough” "Happy tale of under unde of tale tdat" "fuffy brain melt. he die" "why are you in my chem textbook" "where is the dinnerbone cat." "Everything is a table." "Was schmoving too hard and bust my ass." "That was just my normal attack. Deploying Unexplainable Gifs" "I am immune to gachas. And they’re immune to me." "Did you know you don’t have organs. The constitution I wrote myself says so." "Go to Burger King" "My attack was so powerful discord crashed" "Fuffy open the door I have 3 sad poems and one sparkler" "If you rearrange final you get fianl" "stop watching cringe and beat the shit out of every boss." “Alright, you’re getting stepped on.” "i am the bio-weapon in youe walls" "*Hello my name is now temporarily humphrey*" "Also I beat up a toaster today," "we got a job to do" Slime

[historixally-accurate]

hee hoo its late at night but im still awake so im repsonding teehee. youre probably gonna see this during breakfast, so. good morning! ohaiyo早安 selamat pagi <3

YOURE A NATURAL ENGLISH A1er?!?!?!? god damn but also lowkey me too LOL. i dont remember much from when i was still wriitng narrative/discursive essays, but i found it easier than others for the most part. holy yap. ill gladly listen to you yap too its only an equivalent exchange...we're both a bit insane for men halfway across the world who love to go fast in a video game.

your primary school sounds like a nightmare. goddamn. i guess my prisch was also pretty pressurising, but from the sounds of yours, suddenyl i think it wasnt that bad after all... psle huh, crazy times. seems so long ago help now i feel old. i hope youre gonna be okay in your current school :,) the sg school system really doesnt let up, but its really, really important to know that youre never alone!

thanks for the compliment about marker mediums, though i dont think its actually that bad unless you have markers that are seriously in need of rescucitation. like on their last legs. unfortunately i cant send a picture of that kazuha because going anon removes the image sending feature, so maybe someday in the future. once i work up the courage to actually talk to you under my handle >_>

OH WOW you really have a hbg themed phone thats so cool u_u i agree with your family, thats swag as hell. the slingshot feinberg quote sent me for absolutely no reason, im shaking w laughter rn and frantically trying to suppress it so i dont wake my family. send help😭😭 and youre so real for the daily usage of the word "mongey". its only NOT invaded my daily speech because im purposely avoiding thinking about it...if i bury myself in doing sports surely the bigbigmongey brainrot wont get me smile (no this isnt copium wdym) this is ignoring the fact that without thinking i keep saying "what the sigma" and "what the skibidi" unironically btw. both my friends and i know im cooked as fuck

i actually did NOT know there was an upcoming BAC stream. im like a fake ahh fan... ill do my best to be there but uh. my duties arent over, despite it being the hols. this sucks :^(

mad respect to you, actually playing the game you watch. my lazy ass would NOT get off my ass enough to do this ever smh. im sure getting knocked off by a piglin is a pain every speedrunner can relate to . same goes from hitting the cope. except for me, if that shit ever happens im skipping the cope and striaght up hitting the bong. for SG legal reasons this is a JOKE! MOH please dont find me

hey you take lit too ? aura level just went up dawg. youve just caught a fat lit lover right here. im a guilty guilty poetry lover. sorry i just love both poetry and prose it makes me go WidePeepoHappy

lowkey though if you ever decide to take a HBG members legs may i suggest mr lewis fulham ive heard him being desrcibed as a birch tree so that means hes tall right. ill even aid and abet! im sure he wouldnt miss a few cm

bro did NOT just do the clash royale laugh at me😒😒my friends keep telling me im firmly chaotic evil. like damn where is the democracy bros didnt even give me a chance to squeak out a fart before straight up attacking my reputation😟 they my opps frfr

i get it when you say you get pressed cause whenever things dont go as theyre supposed to i inwardly get more and more tilted LMAOOO dw ur not the only one.

i would loooove to watch hbg do more sports related content because i find it hilarious that the one time at twitchcon (?) during poundy's football match there were SO MANY INJURIES... tf you mean couri broke his mf elbow in a sport supposedly restricted to legs. as a sportsperson i really do love playing sports wahaha <3

i cant tell if youre serious about liking amath but damn if you like amath thats really good smile :) much more formula based but overall more predictable.

question for today... what made you decide talkingmime was your favourite hbg member? kinda curious and wanted to give you a reason to yap more about him . feel free to type out a response the lnegth of the mekong river, i promise ill read it i love to read (maybe that why im such a good lurker LMAO). personally im still undecided on who my favouirte member is, but since ive talked so much about mr condiment cringe man 21custard i guess ill just say i like him cause of his goofy ahh humour and memes. im just a sucker for people with good vibes/dryass humour/an entire arsenal of your mom jokes. dont ask about tgat last one. im currently trying to know tekniik better and im falling victim to more deez nuts and your mom jokes than ive ever experienced before. i love it btw

holy yap i think ive talked too much.....never trust anything you say after 9pm....i think they were right the demons got to me. namely my unhealthy terminal obession with fart jokes. same to you, hope you have a beautiful mongey pyun pyun morning <3 always happy to give you an essay response. arigato for readin ;)

-sgmcsr anon

hi anon!!! sorry for the late response, I just got sick and I WAS SLEEPING FOR HALF THE DAY TODAY. let's get cracking

about my amazing spectacular skibidi English, yes! natural English a1-er ^_^ well actually it was only up till like eoys where I got my first DEVASTATING B3, but apart from that, I've been doin good for English. call me. idk Shakespeare. idk. ALSO SHARING OF YAP.. whenever you gain the courage to ask on main, I'll gladly yap with you... I'm online literally 24/7 now that I've got nothing to do with my life, so it'll be nice to speak with someone in the same timezone and who has the same interests that I do.

about my primary school, yeah it was a little bit of a nightmare academically. coming to think of it, because of all I experienced, it doesn't seem that bad because I experienced it. but on paper it's terrible. wow. anyway, not to be trauma dumpy or unskibidi ^_^ struggling to make friends in my current school, and MOE's school system is unrelentless as always, but ball it we fuck, I am okay.

about marker mediums.. I see... that's really cool.. yeah, all my markers are like. dried up and I haven't bothered to go buy new ones or ask for new ones </3 I'd love to see the weed smoking kazuha one day... very excited

about my skibidi HBG wallpaper. I feel like my layout is hella cramped, but its what I have to work with because. I don't know how to organise my phone. maybe I'll sit down one day and figure out how to make it cooler </3 also, very mongeyful, very beautiful. I am filled with mongey joy. ome

not sure if it's obvious, but fein has also cultivated my usage of the word 'skibidi' specifically?? it's very obvious because I say it every 5 seconds :') and because of one specific mime clip, fulham has influenced me to say the word 'peculiar' very very often 😭😭😭 like instead of calling someone weird, I'll say 'dude! you're soooo peculiar.' yeah, I'm a little normal!

bout the upcoming BAC stream, yeahhh I don't blame you... mime released that fact like. a couple streams ago, and even then nobody knew he was live except for like. 20 people? so i dont think it's just you who doesn't know, dw! I'm just caught in the loop :3 besides, it's on either November 22nd or 23rd, and it'll take at least 24 hours, so don't worry about not catching it for at least a little ^_^

about my. haha. very terrible learning of how to speedrun. despite getting all the help I could ever want to speedrun, I'm still absolutely terrible at it, and I can never find the motivation to do so </3 I'd love to be better and gain more confidence or motivation.. I just don't know how to do that. also, fuck hoglins, suck it pigs >:(

ALSO. FUCKING FART JOKES?? I'm drawing the line...anon... you are behind bars now........ STAY AWAY!!!!! (/j please stay they're funny) as someone who's purely true neutral, I have no comment and will nod my head, saying 'normal ass Tuesday in singapore'

about which HBG members people.. fuck it you get the point I'm tired of this format. yeah! Singaporeans and their short fuses, it is so normal and I am no exception </3 it's awesome tho, I can keep boundaries as someone who says yes too much 😎 hell eyah

HBG FOOTBALL. couriway breaking his arm, silver r runs spraining his ankle and tapl harvey also. straining his ankle iirc??? that shit was so chaotic. IF YOU WANT HBG PLAYING LIKE. FOOTBALL. THE MINECRAFT KIND. here's a feinbergfunny/feinberg rocks video. enjoy.

I haven't done too much amath, but. ohhh it's so. clear cut?? it's very inchresting. I think it's not terrible so far... but I can't say for myself </3 must keep grinding forward and see

GOLDS DAILY DOUBLE.. why is mime my favourite HBG member.. and how did I come to that conclusion... man, it's been like 2 months.. I think it's cuz i watched the silverrrunsfunny video about HoN? and it's a lot of mime n silverr clips... the 5 minutes that they were trapped doing parkour in a cubby hole tryna get the last easter egg made me extremely intrigued like.. who is this MIME GUY... he's so peculiar... and then I finish the video, and see talkingmimefunny recommended!! I watched all his videos. and I got hooked. SO FAST. ended up finding people who also like him, and found out he did BAC, and. the rest is history. or historix. haha. Hahaha. I like mime because of how smart and organised he is, I also like how he take initiative in a lot of events that he's participating in together with friends. I also like people who are snarky and have a very interesting voice but you didn't hear this from me. at all. aaanyway, apart from mime, I also really like nEmerald and fein? I like emerald because he reminds me of lifesteal cc mapic, which drew my attention to him. he's also really silly. and I'm a sucker for people who have green as their colour pallete. feinberg.. he's just. silly. and he's feinberg man I don't know what else to say bout that 🤷

Holy yap. happy 11pm! NEVER UTTER THE WORDS 'HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MONGEY PYUN PYUN MORNING' EVER AGAIN. I CRIED. SO HARD. it's fucking hilarious. I'll start using that with my friends. anyway, as always, have a skibidi-tastic, mega ultra kawaii, animefied morning if you see this, and an alpha, rizz master night if you're seeing this at night and you stay up.

here's your daily mime doodle :)

[akgaereporter]

zeroses: queerosins & hetrosins fighting over twitter survey😕

tldr: a big hao pics account did a rosin survey and posted the results, the sexuality section being a whole 51% straight. queerosins started joking abt it bc its ironic but hetrosins took actual offense and start being homophobic forreal.. mind u these people stan ZHANG HETEROPHOBIC HAO🤕

we used to be a proper country..

so earlier @/haopics posted this fun little thread of rosin demographics, like what gender, job, fav song/album, 2nd bias, etc is popular among rosins. super cute n just a fun interactive thing for the subfandom to have, right?? right….????😓

well no.. dont forget u cant laugh or smile in zeroseville they will jinjja slaughter u😕 the issue started when queerosins started making twts about the sexuality portion of the survey, all of which were clearly unserious..?

there qrts were filled w these, and this was genuinely the worst i could find. no one LITERALLY no one was taking it seriously. like as a straight person if u see this and feel inherently offended then we need to run it back bc this is not any form of oppression..? as long as ur not an akgae, not HOMOPHOBIC, streaming his music and supporting him, trust me no1 actually gaf if ure a hetero rosin its just ironic. these twts shouldnt bother u?? maybe giggle at them a little? “im so sorry you have straight fans” should NOT have u pressed enough to tweet sht like this☠:

whats it finna play.. WOAH🤕 when ur in a dramatic competition and ur opponent is a straight rosin.. “remember you cry on the streets to be respected”????????????? hello?????? discriminaton where exactly???? hao would block n report u all actually bc resorting to casually homophobia in response to satirical tweets made by a minority group is insane.. when u stan this man??

what happened to like idol like fans?? like erm.. yall really sitting here upset over “heterophobia” coming from the fans of the heterophobe founding father himself.. idk maybe sit down and think long and hard abt who u stan🤕 best of luck w that

LMFAOO THIS PERSON GMFU. please.. ples.. stop it… i am criiyng… Hao is my bias he is never gay pls… stop spreading rumours please……im tire of people saying he is home of sexual… he is chinese…..😓

there were were also some people who felt it was a bad idea to have the sexuality section included at all, bc its “no one’s business”:

but it was a public survey..? wdym none of ur business when people obviously offered this information up😭 and "did yall ever see him for his talent" is a crazy thing to say in this context like what are u even talking abt dawg🫤 i guess zeroseville has gotten to a point where even talking abt sexuality has become discourse fuel. this is just so unserious like it shouldnt be a problem to mention and joke abt orientation without someone getting mad. yall speculate about the jebes sexualities constantly, hao in particular actually, and if thats not a touchy subject then why is this?? and why was yall's go to response ACTUAL homophobia like..

but out of everyone i feel so bad for haopics like they just wanted to do a fun thing for their subfandom and look what happened,, that dec survey def aint happening after yall pulled this nonsense😭

bottom line everyone needs to unclench and smile a little (challenge level IMPOSSIBLE for zerosetwt)🤕

[c l o s e t a b ?] ◀ ⇨ akgaepop.com

[stupid-stew]

i took notes on the art stream dana did tonight in my own way, yes this is also what my school notes look like so my formal apologies

dana didn’t have many friends or anything in college (self defined recluse)

king is the hardest character to draw due to his specific skull shape

dana loves pokemon and the king resemblance is a coincidence, and she drew everyone to be RIPPED

XENA THE WARRIOR PRINCESS WITH THE ABS LMAOOOO

young entrepreneur out here art queen getting that bag WHY WAS SHE MAKING SHIP ART OF HER CLASSMATES FOR MONEY AT THE AGE OF LIKE 11 IM SOBBING

king ruined the sand castle :(

the mcdonald’s coffe, it sucks apparently

insomnia dana supremacy, felt that

DANA WINS ROUND 1 (against her will)

side note i think i need to start watching more anime, that’s just for me the remember tho

“let’s get weird”- dana terrace 2021

“give us the most uncomfortable furby suggestions please”- also dana terrace 2021

FANFICTION JOURNALS CAN WE GET THOSE PUBLISHED

hard time communicating outside of drawings (one of us 👹)

toh is script driven, sicknasty

her test was turned away SPILL THE TEA

dana proposes to furby suggestion giving chat member

8months struggling for job

turned away from power puff girls boooo

“i called up a friend and we had a drink and i cried :(“ -dana

FURBY WITH HUMAN ANATOMY

YES YES YES MITCHELLS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

the director had to fight to make the furby scene happen and sir we appreciate it

“androgyny is beautiful”- dana, about a furby

yes girl let jesus take the wheel on that anatomically correct furby

WHY WAS SHE TRYIKG TO TEACH HER FURBY DO CURSE THATS SO FUNNY

“fuck you! fuck you!”- not dana’s furby

$80,000 in debt for this

“shit shit fuck shit”

“as good friends, as disney would say”

dana trying not to lose her job

“AH GOD NO THE FEET THE FEET”

straight black coffee you psycho

DANA LOOSES TO THE CURSED FURBY

HAHAHA TINY NOSE IN THE SIGIL

cannot cook, girlboss, win dana with food

CATBOY SHREK

catchphrase? “AAAAAAAHHH”

scared of spiders

do not wake the cat

“is that a pile of garbage or is that ur self esteem after i fucking demolish you”

-dana terrace 2021

the iconic “byeeeee” was difficult

why can’t she draw shrek

“i need validation please jesus christ”

-dana terrace 2021

someone buy this woman the cat gamer headphones alex hurry up

she does not like the booth but she does it for us thank you queen

dana fainted getting a stick n poke rip

AWWW SHE GOT STEVE BLOOM THATS SO CUTE FOR HER

SHE DISLIKES FANTASY???? BOI WHAT THE HELL BOI

at least she’s having a good time making her own gross little fantasy land, improvise adapt overcome

dana unlocks the idea of things being done in different ways and have them all be good for the masses

“limitation breeds invention”

“wow ur really wise dana”

“….thanks dawg”

“well i didn’t have friends… no one laughed.”

i want the little comics of her pets

cat person dana

DANA WINS CATBOY SHREK

awww little stick and poke on her ankle

does not celebrate her birthday

OOOH THE HAMMERHEAD IS HER FIRST ONE I LOVE THAT ONE

#mood bunny

KERMIT ON STEROIDS

“how can we make this weird” GIRL IT IS KERMIT ON S T E R O I D S

HER LITTLE LAUGH IM SOBBING

this is literally psychological warfare

dana has not watched the muppets but she knows him drinking the tea so winning

DANA THE ANGST QUEEN LMAO

she’s proud about her making dipper and mable fight

DANA ANIMATED FOR NEXT WEEK MARK UR FREAKING CALENDARS

hooty is the owl house canon?

i wish the owl house was like a creature that would have been so funny

CAT APPEARS

season 2 is outline heavy when it comes to the writing

dana knows what she wants for season 2 and we love that

execs up the wall on season 1

DANA LOSES MUSCLE KERMIT

dana has not found the character porn! keep it up girl! stay over there!

oooh bike queen

SWING DANCE OH MY GOD

TAP DANCING

THIS WOMAN IS AN ICON I LOVE HERRRR

yes get that energy out girl

ddr stan, loses to matt braly at gravity falls team bowling hang out

cat is sad :( give her a snack :(

AWW GHOST HAS ASTHMA omg kinnie moment

conspiracy theory enthusiast when intoxicated

vaccination queen

does not believe in ghosts, kill me girl i’ll haunt you don’t worry i’ll prove it

DOG WORKING IN A CAFE

“the ow house get ready to get some boo boo”- this other guy because it made me cry

“you’re gonna have to pay me to write shit because i don’t work for free”

not a music person

DO A FLIP

dana do a flip for charity please i’ll donate like an organ or something

she can canonically do a flip and she’s not gonna show us this is homophobic

AH FUCK MY STREAM CUT OUT

her neighbor is parking yes get it

draw left hand

while holding pen wack

do it in online version of ms paint

“MS pain”- dana not finishing her word

and stick and poke

show us the work stuff dana >:(

an ARTIST

“he’s a strong independent dog”

“4 minutes 20 seconds 😏 h e h e h e”

WHY CANT WE SEE HER HEADBANG THIS IS SO RUDE

not the muscle pulling girl not now

“also dog”

CHAMPION DANA

IMAGINE DANA CALLING UR ART CUTE

H E L P THE FURBYS I CSNOT

ghost gets rejected

“he’s not impressed with ur bullshit”

catra shrek fan girl moment

dana has probably done drugs

“i am a fan of waluigi”

AN ITALIAN POLITICIAN SMACK TALKING THE OWL HOUSE LMAOSJB

note to self dana will only marry you if you look like kermit the frog

also dog comes from a land where dogs eat people at starbucks

LOWES AD

“he’s making out with it! he’s using tongue!”

there are bouncers in cafes where also dog comes from

dana has worked the cash register

someone make real witch merchandise

Q AND A YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

hooty is he has a very he has more he has a backstory it exists it’s written out but we might not ever get it because it’s just for her dana please i am on my knees

would play dnd if she could

favorite episodes haven’t even aired but currently is echoes of the past or keeping up a fear ances because they’re personal especially a fear ances

TOO LATE FOR EXTENDED SEASON THREE BOARDING HAS STARTED IM GOING TO CRY

SPIN-OFFS SHORTS AND COMICS STILL ALLOWED IM LITERALLY DEAD ON THE INSIDE

mentally she is thriving with the show and it’s going to end well 🙏

“it’s just my voice :(“

BYEEEEEEE

[dirt-grub]

👅🌍🍁✨

👅 fav inside joke?

GOD I know I have them but I’m so bad at thinking of them... OH I HAVE A GOOD ONE OKAY

So I have some irls and we’re very stupid. So basically one night we had stayed up late making dumb fucking what if scenarios like. What if Batman was bit by a radioactive spider. Would he be spider bat man? Bat spider man? Bat spider man man? Man man bat spider? And it kept going until we posed the question- what if Harry Potter became bat man after his parents were murdered and was also bitten by a radioactive spider? He would be man man harry spider bat. This is funny to approximately no one but us (also this was before we knew jk was a terf fuck her)

🍁 have you ever gone somewhere (ie a road trip stop, a tourist attraction) that was funny/you had something weird happen to you at?

I’ve been to Broadway and I got accidentally flashed by a rockette but like nyc is nyc ya know

I also had a gaytacular fucking time in washing DC when I was 14 because we had a school field trip and the dumbass teacher chaperones were like oh no we gotta keep the gays from gaying at the straight kids so oh I know let’s put them all in one room together... i was the only room with an odd number and it was my transhet friend and the guy who I ended up dating all through high school so this poor fucker third wheeled with us meanwhile we were holding hands in the air and space museum to the point we got mildly hate crimed (just some spicy slurs nothing physical) by some trump cucks but we were like nah we’re not dating it’s not like he’d ever like ME... morons... also fuck the military but there was one pretty memorial at night and it made me believe in love when I saw my friend in the lights of it at night but like love is dead now no more questions sorry moving on

Also my grandfather took a shit in the garden of a castle in Austria. LONG FUCKING STORY but he’s senile and does not realize it’s not the 50’s anymore and you can’t just shit in the bushes. Nobody caught him. I fear how that ended up. Also the funniest part is after our trip we had a lot of photos blown up and put on the walls and that particular castle is now on the wall of our bathroom so it really came full circle

I could go on man I’ve got Stories.. fuck dawg... that doesn’t even scratch the surface with swimming in sewage on accident at the Jersey shore, or being wanted by the lake police, or that time I went to a Weezer concert in Camden sick to my goddamn stomach in a rainstorm that turned all the lawn seats into a mudslide,

✨ whats a lyric to a song that you find really interesting?

Another one I could go on and on about... let’s see uhh

“And it is easier when you’re older to figure out he things that do and do not work / like my temper / like me and you in the back of my car”

‘And I’ll dig up your graves without skin on my bones / and I’ll carry you home / and I’ll carry you home’

Both from blue eyes like the devils water really ALL the lyrics of that song kill me so hard id recommend a listen (fair warning though there is much screaming lol)

then there’s this absolute classic which just speaks for itself... you cant get more poetic... makes me tear up tbh 

🌎 whats your LEAST favorite us state?

That I’ve been to? It’d be low hanging fruit to say New Jersey and really that’s only NORTH Jersey south Jersey is really nice although they had alligator meat at the grocery stores which is some culture shock I guess man

Uh. I haven’t really been around much let’s see. People in New Hampshire give me sass sometimes when they see my New York plates but like I haven’t been enough for that to be a specific pattern lol  Also I absolutely fucking get it you see a New York driver on the road and you’re like aw fuck that is totally fair

I’ve never been further west than Pennsylvania so idk man. I hate Ohio in principle but like idk I’ve never been lmfao. Ohio get some more things wtf is even in your state

[ateezgf]

“hey jungkook, our natal charts are compatible and the stars never lie so when are you gonna fall in love with me” 

okAY SO I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT THE CONCERT A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE I JUST EEEEP !!!!!!!! they ran out of a lot of the merch and i thought the tape was gonna be washi tape but bitch i was a fool & too scared to ask to swap it for the stickers. but it’s okay, i’ll still use it when i can. 

ANYWAY, the concert itself hoooly shit. first their english??? has gotten so so so so good but im lowkey sad i could barely hear much because everyone was screaming a lot and i was like noooo i wanna listen to them shut up. 

my weak ass cried during save me because i got to hear my favorite damn song LIVE like yall........ i was in shambles. and i cried when i was singing along to epiphany because just.. sigh. 

I HAVE A VIDEO OF ME SCREAMING RM’S PART IN SO WHAT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. ESPECIALLY THE “I WANNA LIVE RIGHT NOW” PART LIKE GNFJKDNS BTS REALLY GOT ME TO SAY THAT.

i was actually pretty close to the stage like i had no idea our seats were THAT CLOSE like i could see them be all dorky and i just sigh. 

oh my god???? jimin’s hair was basically his hair in idol the whole time and just wow. also for some reason it didn’t fully register to me that jungkook dyed his hair back to brown???? like i saw the vlive and stuff but i was sort of like... business as usual. 

jin kept his microphone in his army bomb case during ending ment and when it was his turn he stared at the camera for like.... a minute before unzipping it. 

yoongi was talking about how much he loves the LA lakers and kobe bryant and there were jersey’s hanging super high up & he pointed at the side they weren’t on and went like “look.................... there’s nothing” 

jimin went like “this is the last show in LA” and everyone literally was like ???? no, not today?? and hobi started dancing not today oh my god

jin and jungkook had their hands hovering over the back of each other’s necks for the longest time until jungkook smacked him first 

i watched jin and suga shoot dance & i dont remember which one tried to do the arms and legs at the same time but im... im gonna say it was jin 

i met bit by bit (a jungkook fansite) and bought a little thing from her that had photocards she made and this cute jungkook credit card thing and a fan and a banner and a sticker 

our fan slogan thing was “we’ll only heart you for eternity” which i lowkey was ?? about like dawg just say love lmao but anyway

gOD TAEHYUNG IN SINGULARITY I WANTED TO DIE. IT’S LIKE THAT ARM THING JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER FUCK

during ending ment, namjoon just straight up gave us a lesson about the meaning of his trivia track. i cant believe he created the english and korean language. 

walking in the merch line, i was tempted to say “wow i cant wait to watch exo tonight” but i didnt want to get my ass beat but i did want to be a little shit. 

also yes i did say that quote in the beginning but that’s when they were playing the euphoria mv 

when they started playing the fire mv, i said “set me on fire, min yoongi” and these girls two rows down turned around and started hella nodding and going like “YeAH YEA HYEAH”

yoongi, taehyung, and jungkook were fighting for a camera and just kept moving in front of each other and doing aegyo coNDSTANTLY 

jungkook stood on my side a lot and i was like g o d, please big head. also jungkook uploading a selca the day of my concert?????? meant to be. he knew i was there. love ya babe. 

also im really curious just how close bts are staying to the staples center? not so i can stalk them but just because hobi got onto vlive super fast after the concert? like it was maybe 10? 20 minutes? since it ended and he was already on it with food and like tae had time to take a bubble bath. and i knew they didn’t just dip right after because even then, traveling would take awhile with traffic so it’s like ????? where are yall staying that make you capable of this so quickly???? 

conclusion: i had such a great night. i really cant explain how happy i am just from seeing them.

[frankeyss-blog]

1st Draft “ CANT CHEAT DESTINY

Can’t Cheat Destiny

I’ve never told this story before but I think it’s time you all know the truth. It’s been exactly twenty years since the homeboy’s Mario’s sister died. I am not that same person anymore, and now that everyone that was in the incident is dead. Well, allow me to tell you what happened that night in early ‘98, Mr. Priest.

“Go ahead, I got all day son.”

But I don’t. So this is it. So please record it. Only to show their mother. I heard she ain’t doing too good, yeah? I don’t want to let her die without knowing the truth about her kids, ya know.

“Do what you need to do to make this place a better one once you pass, son.”

Well, this dude was a hard nigga, straight up. We called him Maury cause he always had random bitches telling him he their baby daddy. His real name was Mario though. He had mad short people trauma. He liked getting drunk and picking fights at parties, hitting on taken girls, try to drink the most and smoke the most. You know, it was all fun for us cause we’d known him so well that we didn’t take him seriously.

You know, we all grew up in Long Beach. Not the Belmont side, not the Bellflower, not even close to Signal Hill. We were from downtown right before they started remodeling the area closest to the port. Cause all that shit is nice now. Bar here, lounge there, wine tasting over here and a club in every block. Pine avenue is where people go lose their money now. Back in ‘97, when all three of us graduated high school, Pine avenue was the block you lost your life in. It was the crack spot, the whore house and the place you wouldn’t want to be without at least a fucking knife, man. Most people carried guns, most people had no bullets in them but I wouldn’t try to test nobody. I survived that shit cause I was from there. I messed with the right people and picked the right people to ignore. My mom was a drug user, my most loyal customer. She still owes me money to this day. Don’t laugh, I’m serious. Mario’s mom too.

I can’t tell you when I met Mario. I don’t remember. My earliest memory of him is, us drinking water at the Cesar Chavez Park out of a garden hose because we had ditched class. We were in second grade at the time and we used to go back to my house while my mom was at work and smoke the cigarette butts she left on the coffee table. Mario would always want to do some extra shit like drink my mom's liquor, burn shit for the fuck of it. It was never enough trouble for him. He would push me to get on a random bus and just cruise through the city. People gave no fucks back in the day you know. Things were probably worse back then but people weren’t as alert about it. I guess two seven year olds alone in a bus wasn’t important enough for anyone to notice or care. I was always about twice the size of Mario so people probably thought he was my little brother. Shit, only if they knew I was following his orders.

This was our way of life for the longest time. Doing whatever the fuck we wanted. Our moms didn’t care. At least, I didn’t think so back then. I had never met my father, and I think Mario’s left him when he was like two. So doing whatever we wanted to do made us feel like men. We got in trouble and shit but it was the only way we could experience and learn from life. Luckily, I was the only child. Mario had a little sister. About four years younger than him. She outgrew him when she was in 7th grade, he was a junior then. I never teased him about it cause it was that one thing that triggered him the most. Everyone else, though. We would be in school or at the park playing ball, and dudes be asking him like, Yo, where’s your sister at? I rather have her ass on my team! Me too, shit. I always had Mario’s back though, no matter what. These moments is what made Mario so feisty. He always needed to prove a point. I fought a lot of his fights and maybe I helped his ego grow because he always had someone to rely on.

On 9th grade, this fool joined a gang. Not any gang either, he had to go prove himself he was better than any other thug and drug dealer. He went ahead and joined the Crips. We always had an invitation to the gang because we lived in the neighborhood. All main heads knew us since we were children and whether we were in the gang or not they protected us, invited us to parties, they had our backs and we had theirs. No need to actually join the gang. I really wish Mario would’ve consulted me first. There I went helping him sell weed and hustle. We were already living the ghetto life, no need to have to wear blue so everyone knows you’re being a low life on purpose. I can tell you that Mario watched Scarface too many times. I remember the summer from Junior to Senior year was crazy. Everyday we would go to the local liquor and I would steal a few forties while he bought a swisher and a lighter. We would kick it at my house. Smoke my mom out. We’ll wait for his little sister to get out of summer school at noon and go fuck with the little youngsters from her middle school. She hated us, man. She was so ashamed of Mario but we gave no fucks, we were faded. She always stayed away from us as much as she could. I don’t blame her now. I don’t think I ever did. Mario would pick a couple fights, we’ll sell a few grams and recruit one or two kids a week. The main heads liked Mario but they also knew his ass wasn’t alone, there was a dumb nigga doing half his work for him, that was me. Like I said though, I didn’t care, I was having fun, Mario had his gat, I had my knife, we were cool.

Remember when I said, Mario never settled though. He always had to go do some extra shit.

Fast forward to when we were in senior year. High school wasn’t as bad. No one fucked with us because they knew they could die. That was the truth. Get your fucking brains blown out for talking shit or looking at someone the wrong way. If you carried a bandana that wasn’t blue, chances were you were going to get a few broken ribs after school that day.

We made it to winter break, that year of ‘97. Mario had the great idea of impressing his mom and stealing a car for her. When Mario told me about it, it wasn’t a plea for help, it was a plan, alright. This fool, had spotted a ‘64 impala on the other side of the city, closer to Wilmington. Don’t worry about Wilmington, just know that they don’t like crips.

It was December 22nd. Cold as fuck man, I had told my mom I was going to wal mart to get some christmas gift for one of my teachers. Mario had actually told his mom he was going to go get her a christmas present. I was wearing a black Steelers hoodie and he was wearing a bright blue Cowboys jacket.

We met at his house. Drank a forty with his mom. We smoked a spliff on our walk to the bus stop. I had never stolen a car before, this was some big boy shit. I assumed Mario knew what he was doing. Even though he seemed to have big balls, he would never approach something without at least knowing he had a chance to win or achieve his goal. I just followed Mario. I remember my hands stayed inside the pocket of my hoodie the whole ride there. Mario was talking about how this gangsta life was paying of. He was trying to go into moving bricks and maybe trying to hustle pussy in the hood. He wanted the life of scarface. Big mansions, big cars and fine bitches at his feet. If he made it, that meant I made it too. I was riding his same cloud. It’s been like that for so long.

We got to Wilmington, we get off the bus somewhere on Anaheim blvd and the beautiful six-four impala is right fucking there. The rims were shiny, the reflection of the moon laid peacefully on the chrome bumpers. The car was painted light brown. The hydraulics were painted blue and before I was done appreciating the beauty of the car Mario had already found a rock to break the window.

“Aye bro, nah. That’s so high key.” I remember saying to him.

“Don’t be a pussy.” he said to me.

“This ain’t our hood Maury. Can’t be fucking around.” I tried to convince him. I thought he had a plan. “How are you supposed to turn it on?”

“Hot wire it, nigga.”

“Nigga, cause you know how to hotwire a fucking car.” I replied.

Mario walked to the driver's side of the car and looked in. I stood a few feet in front of the head lights. He took his cowboy hoodie off and wrapped the rock around it. Lucky bastard broke the window off on the first try.

“Get in, bro. Here you go,” he said as he handed me what it seemed to be a 9 mm. I was first to jump inside the car. Went through the driver's side and slid to the passenger side. I don’t know for how long I turned behind my shoulder to see if anyone was coming from behind us but when I turned around to face forward, Mario was already on Drive mode. Talk about a rush. Nothing like it. At age 17, that shit’s better than sex, man. You feel like a giant amongst men. You feel like a wildfire around a bunch of dry weeds. Unstoppable. Until something bigger than you comes. Everything that goes up must come down, right?

“Dawg, I think I dropped my sweater back there,” he said, “Fuck it.”

Mario never told me the aftermath of the carjack with the gang. Two days after new years, I was kicking it with Tripple. The homeboy I told you about at the beginning. He was a crip too. His dad was a main head. We were smoking a cigarette in the patio of my apartment watching people walk by. Chill mode, no danger, everyone knows each other in the Projects.

“You heard about lil Maury, bro?” he opened.

“Nah, partied with him on new years. He went home with some bitch and I just came back home.”

“Remember the wheels that nigga stole?” he said.

“No shit. I was there with him.” I replied without hesitation to look hard.

“So my dad had beef with this OG from wilmas blood gang. Follow this shit though. They had squashed it about three months ago. Now, Mario left or dropped his bright ass blue sweater at that niggas porch. When my dad asked Mario if he had done it, which we all know he’s the only dumb ass that goes for the cowboys, he said nah. He said, he had stolen that shit from somewhere in LA.”

“So…” I didn’t want to assume what was going to happen to Mario.

“My pops is going to send him on a mission to prove himself a real gangster.”

“This foo just stole a car from an OG. What else does your dad want?” I was scared.

“Yeah, but he fucking lied. He’s a got to stab a motherfucker.” Tripple said this quietly as if his intention was not too make me worry. He had his head down because he knew this was going to affect me too.

“You can’t get him out of it?” I asked him without trying to sound like I was begging. My lips were the only warm part of my body because of the cigarette. My voice was all I could use at the moment.

Tripple looked at me in the eye and I noticed his eyes take note of my facial expression. He raised his eyebrows and said, “I already did. He was supposed to go shoot at some cops. Mario told him to send him out to do some shit so that he could prove to him, to my pops, he could be a main head.”

“Fuck, bro. Alright, thanks for the heads up.” That’s exactly what it was. A warning for me to be ready when Mario calls. Mario, always with the extra shit.

“I’ll be there too, homie. My dad wants me to make sure everything goes smooth.” Tripple said as he took a few steps away from me to crush his cigarette butt on the ground.

That must’ve happened around three p.m. because my mom wasn’t back from work yet. I remember I waited for Mario’s call all day. When he didn’t hit me up by ten at night, I decided to smoke a joint with my mom to release some stress and knock out. Even though it was a weekend, I didn’t feel like turning up. I remember that feeling of insecurity.

My mom woke me up that same night around one a.m. telling me Mario was on the phone. I got up and asked him what’s up. He knew that I knew because he was with Tripple already. I grabbed my knife, the same one as always. I dressed all in black and waited for them to come through.

It takes five minutes to walk from Mario’s house to mine. These dudes made it in like 2 minutes, I remember. This is how I knew they were nervous as fuck.

I ain’t no crip, but still our handshake was and then we walked through and out of our hood. There were a few parties poppin off. This was no time to fuck around though. Don’t matter how cool or how close you think you are to your crip gang. This needed to happen. If Mario didn’t come through, man. Crip motherfuckers, back in the day, were the real deal. They gave no fucks, they were violent and proud of it. Who knows where Mario was going to end up if he didn’t pull through this one.

Tripple suggested we got some forties and pack a few bowls before we acted on anything. So Tripple already had weed. So just like the old days, we walk to a liquor store and Mario goes in distracting the cashier by buying swishers to roll blunts and I went stealing some forties.

We walked a few blocks and everything seemed so alive, everyone was partying. It was the weekend after new years. It was going to be hard to keep all this shit low key so we decided to post up on top of the bathroom building inside the Cesar Chavez Park. Yup, the same place Mario and I used to go run to first after ditching elementary. Doors were always open because of crackheads breaking in to sleep in there. This was like five miles off of our crib.

We started cracking jokes, we started sipping on our forties and we never really talked about why we were doing this. It was part of our life, this was normal in our hood. We were those niggas doing dirt shit in the middle of the night. We were the reason people locked their doors that night.

I don’t remember the time but I do remember the streets started getting quieter. Less and less bodies were seen on the sidewalk. Car lights started to disappear and we all knew why we were there. We stood up on the edge of this two story building and posted like alligators waiting for prey to step into our swamp.

About twenty minutes went by and I remember checking my watch then. 1: 45 a.m.

Everything seemed blurry. All three of us were pretty much crossfaded. The building felt ten stories high and I remember stepping back from the ledge. Tripple was looking down. His vision was stuck on something down there, or maybe he was just drunk but I was paying more attention to Mario. His toes were in the air, his heels balancing his whole body on the edge of the building. Always making everything more dangerous than it has to.

“There. White sweater.” Mario said to himself.

“Let’s go kid. Now you got your chance to be raw.” Tripple said. “I can’t tell if it’s a guy or a girl.”

Any other day we would’ve laughed but not today.

“You’re going to wait here, Mario.” Tripple said while handing him his knife. “I’ll bring him up here, we can’t do it down there in the street.”

This wasn’t Tripple's fight but the drugs and alcohol added to his bravery. Truth is, he knew Mario couldn’t fight someone bigger than him too well. Specially if he had to drag them upstairs.

“He’s right.” I added to the fear in all of us, “too high key.”

Tripple took his sweater off halfway. His arms were still in to use it as a choke around the dudes neck and drag him up. I was surprised they didn’t ask for my help. I don’t think I could’ve done it. I was fucked up. We were all fucked up.

While Tripple went down and got the dude. Mario didn’t take his sight off the fire escape exit on top of the building. I couldn’t intervene because I knew this wasn’t my fight.

To my surprise, Tripple walked up without making any unnecessary sounds while holding the body on a chokehold. The top half was covered with his sweater and the bottom half was naked. It wasn’t a dude.

We all laughed as if this was a bigger victory. Only because we knew how easy everything was going to go.

“Give me your best shot, right here baby, right here.” Tripple whispered at Mario while pointing at this poor girl's head.

We fucked her up.

I remember kicking her ribs and seeing Tripple’s sweater caving in on an opening. That was probably her mouth trying to grasp for air. She tried screaming but she had no chance.

Tripple was the first one to take his pants off and go for it. I remember grabbing my forty and spilling beer on the girl's head. Mario wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how good it was going to feel to stab a bitch.

Mario went second. This wasn’t the first time I saw Mario in action. I do think that was the first time Mario felt important and bad ass. He was closer to scar face now, more than ever.

Mario kept on getting the knife he had in his hand closer to this bitch’s neck.

I said, “Fuck that nigga. This bitch can recognize our voice. I say we fucking shoot her.”

“Fuck yeah,” Mario looked at me and continued “I’m shooting this bitch in the fucking face.”

He mentioned something about real gangsters looking at you in the eye while they shoot you between them.

Tripple went ahead and took his bloody sweater back. I remember it looked purple during night time. Must’ve been the beer, the girls saliva and her tears that made the blue turn darker.

But what Mario saw made him start to cringe and stutter because he was staring into the eyes of his own sister. She looked back at him and cried. She cried more painfully, than when they were raping her.

Mario fucking lost it and took his own gun to his own head. I didn’t try to stop him neither did Tripple. He fell to his knees and looked up to the sky but I don’t think there was nothing there for him.

He shot himself through the left eye. I remember looking down at the back of his head and the heat of the bullet left it looking like the top of a chimney. Everything was dark, the smoke got in my nose and till this day, I still can’t describe that smell. All I knew was that the only man I had ever trusted was dead. I might’ve not had a father or blood siblings but this guy Mario was all I had. I had to take care of his legacy, I needed to make sure his name wasn’t put down.

I remember getting off my ass and taking the gun out of Mario’s hand. My fingertips felt the freezing chrome through my black gloves. I looked at his sister without trying to make eye contact, and I don’t know why but she didn’t beg, she didn’t ask why, like, she just knew I was meant to kill her. The power of the gun forced me to close my eyes. I heard her body land. I opened my eyes and she bled the same color he did.

Tripple took the gun from me and ran down stairs. I handed it to him, honestly. I didn’t need it anymore. This wasn’t me. For the first time, I felt like I did the right thing. I felt like I did someone a real favor. That night, it wasn’t just three of us. The devil followed us. I thought about the chances of this happening. This no crip plan, nobody wanted to hurt his little sister. The fact that a nigga like me didn’t know much about her, was strange. Strangeness, the good kind cause that meant she didn’t fuck with the wrong crowd. She didn’t deserve this, but she had to die so Mario could take himself out and I would be on death sentence twenty years later.

Tripple and I kept our distance for some time. No cops wanted information, nobody gave a shit. Times had changed. I thought these were the things people paid attention to instead of paying attention to two second graders on a bus.

I didn’t go to Mario’s funeral. I was told people were saying he was walking his sister back home from a party when they both got attacked by either a gang or a robber. I always responded that it sounded like something Mario would do.

Tripple died during a drive by a few years ago. I didn’t care as much. It just reminded me of Mario.

“Son, and you are telling me all this because?”

Cause I never could come back from that, Priest. I’ve been inside these same four walls for a couple years now. But I know, I damn well know, that God is making me pay for what I didn’t pay before.

“Aren’t you afraid of dying?”

I don’t know what death feels like priest, so why should I be?

“You have less than twenty four hours to live, and you chose to ask for forgiveness on something you did more than twenty years ago?”

Nah, the electric chair don’t forgive. You think you can forgive, priest. I don’t know if God is going to forgive but there’s nothing better than living with peace of mind, even if it’s just for a few hours.

“I’m glad you did it, son.”

Tell her that I miss him, tell her that I never had any other best friend than Mario. But also tell her we didn’t know what we was doing. Tell her by the time she gets this, I’ll be wherever I deserve to be. I loved Mario like a brother, and for that, for that simple reason, I want her to know the truth. She deserves it.

“When she asks about what happened?”

You tell her the truth, I fucked up, I couldn’t go back to my life without Mario, after what I did. The gang life took over and I just did too much fucked up shit, enough to deserve to die.

“Are you sure?”

Fuck yeah, she doesn’t need any more bullshit into her life. Go ahead and tell her I killed random niggas’ families for a living. Tell her I stayed on selling drugs and making money on the block. Tell her I needed to live Mario’s dream, and I did. Tell her, that wherever it is that people like us go after death, I’ll see Mario and I’ll tell him about all the scarface life shit I did.

“Take care, son. I swear on the cross that hangs on my neck that I’ll take care of this. God and everyone involved in this thanks you for making this your last wish.”

Thank you.

“In the name of the Father…”

The Son. The Holy Spirit.

“May the devil no longer follow you.”

Amen.