#dave's reaction in the first gif is hilarious

[bethorz]

Chris takes Wolf Van Halen's advice and two-hand taps his way through Eruption for the first time while the peanut gallery looks on - Birmingham, UK, June 27, 2024

I love the guys just chillin there and being impressed against their will

[source]

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2, Epsiode 13 ("A Tisket A Tasket") Part 1 of ???

So this is like, the first heavily Jess-centered episode after his debut back in 2/5. He's kind of been chilling behind the counter at Luke's for 8 episodes. He's been seen, he's been mentioned since he lives rent free in the head of every citizen of Stars Hollow. But here, he has truly arrived, making his debut in one of these shitshow eps that combine Dean, Jess, the DALA (Dean and Lorelai Affair), etc etc. A real fucking doozy. PS: All previous commetary is now linked in my pinned post.

What have we here? Oh, look everyone, it's yet ANOTHER fundraiser/excuse for Taylor Doose to embezzle money from the citizens. All proceeds to go to the retirement home, right. Sure. Where is this mythical retirement home that no one has ever mentioned and has never been seen before? I think he mis spelled "All proceeds line Taylor Doose's pockets."

Pictured below: A senior citizen of Stars Hollow after receiving money raised for the retirement home.

Oh, Lorelai is just STARVING for some Dean Forrester today. She’s foaming at the mouth. Patty: Do you have any change? I don't know where all my quarters go. Lorelai: Down some guy's g-string? Patty: Oh no. A quarter would be insulting. Miss Patty for Prez. On my gritty adult Gilmore Girls Reboot titled The Hollow I would make sure we'd see a scene of Miss Patty at the male strip revue, it would be hilarious.

I've never seen "You". Is this "You"? Is Dean Forrester the guy from "You"?

I've warned you two to stop doing this. Time to resort to drastic measures.

Go and get him Lorelai. This fine specimen is right there waiting for you in the Cheese Ball aisle.

The way Jess Mariano's name rolls off of Dean's tongue with such vitriol, such disgust, the way Jess Mariano clearly lives rent free in Dean Forrester's otherwise empty little head 24/7, it gives me tremendous joy. Jess' jacket may as well be the equivalent of a cold blast from a garden hose. It's so ugly that it will put a damper on even the most passionate makeouts (of which Rory and Dean's was not) because you must stop whatever you’re doing and gaze upon it, to wonder what rock-bottom of a church donation bin his mother scraped that thing from, or maybe he took it from one of Liz's lousy husbands who left it behind. I'm telling you, that in my opinion, this is the ugliest man's coat to ever exist, and the other thing that makes it so ugly is that it's way too big on Milo's tiny frame. He's drowning in it. Where was I? *ugly coat ugly coat ugly coat* Uhh, let's get back to it...

Does anyone else think about the fact that Gilmore Girls (2000) was the last time anyone would see Milo with even a single curl in his hair? He had jumped to Peter Petrelli hair by S6 and never looked back.

RENT-FREE. Someone: Can you sum up the relationship between Jess & Dean in 15 words or less? Me: I Gotchu fam.

Rory Giving Dean Completely Sensible Advice: I wish you two could get along. He lives here. You run into him. He goes to school with you. It's a waste of energy to fight with him. Dean:

Alexis Bledel's acting can be pretty wooden, but her "Rory is fucking sick of Dean or Tristan's shit" facial reactions are priceless.

I wrote a Haiku: His ugly brown coat Ugly coat you are so brown Vomit colored brown.

For anyone keeping score, Rory has been snuck up on from behind and frightened by two different people in the span of only a few minutes. Give my girl a break.

Rory: "Dis guy.... sigh." And now for some other Goings On in this episode: Lane has yet another insane and convoluted plan to meet with Henry behind her mother's back, involving her male cousin and using the Line Taylor Doose's Pockets Auction as a cover. If she has to go through all of this to hide a nice Korean boy like Henry (and later, Dave Rygalski, the Best Boyfriend On Tv) from her mother, it once again makes me yearn to see Lane and Jess date openly if for nothing else but to give Mrs. Kim chest pains. This will happen on my adult Gilmore Girls reboot titled The Hollow. Lane: Mom, I had sex with Jess Mariano. Oh and I might be pregnant. Mrs Kim: Evaporates into the ether, ascending to the heavens to meet Jesus. Jackson wants Sookie to move in with him, but she's not getting the hint. Miss Patty thinks Lorelai needs to get laid and has taken it up on herself to try to remedy that, much to Lorelai's annoyance, but Patty is obviously blind to the fact that Lorelai Gilmore waits for only one man.

For anyone keeping score, Rory has been snuck up on from behind and frightened by two three different people in the span of only a few minutes.

Stars Hollow video can be seen in the background in this scene, so I withdraw my take that it was never seen again after the previous episode.

Perhaps there was some deeper meaning, a metaphor of some kind, something AmyShermanPalladino was trying to say, with these repeated references to people being shoved into closets against their will. The bidding wars have begun.

I had to listen to Milo Ventimiglia talk about being Team Dean again this week (we all know he's really just Team Jared) and he said Dean was "A sweet hometown boy" and obviously he doesn't remember this show at all if he thinks that, and he would probably be pretty upset with me if I said I wanted to smack that stupid smug grin off of Jared Padalecki's face right now. Jess, I will give you $1,000 if you burn this coat and I'm allowed to watch it go up in flames. Glorious, glorious flames.

Are we talking about Dean Forrester's weiner here?

Does anyone else wonder where Jess gets $90 of easily disposable income from? Not like he can make that in the short time he's been working at Luke's since his uncle is probably paying him sub minimum wage and no one in Stars Hollow pays for their food or tips their servers.

Just a baby! Just a little guy, in an ugly brown coat!

When his lips get real thin you know he's mad. Guy behind him in the black coat is like ha, you putz, you almost spent $80 on a basket for a girl who won't even put out until you're already married to someone else.

Kiss my ass, Doose.

Okay, that was just the first TEN minutes of the 42 minute episode. We may have a 4-parter on our hands, people. Be patient for the next chapter.

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update - 01/07/2024

Nerdie! Happy New Year! How was your first week of 2024?

….I could have used more sleep, but it wasn’t horrible. Just okay overall. There were a few high points. I'm getting organized in life and in fanfiction.

That's a good thing. You're taking your planning seriously? This is The Way. So what's on the way? *laughs at their poor joke*

Don't abuse The Way like that. It's to be respected! But that did earn a giggle. Anyway...

1. The New Year began with all the Pickled Peñas! The @pickled-pena challenge fics were posted on 01/01 but by using the tag: trickle pickle you can still write a Pickled Peña fic if you so choose until January 31st. All Pickle Peña fics are listed here.

2. I finished my Space smut with feelings series Sard’ika Sessions. 🥰 You never forget your first series. It’s quite special, I feel I represented Din well and bent The Creed but didn’t remove any helmets prematurely. I put in all the feelings I wanted (because smut can have feelings too!) And Din saying the things that I giggled and squealed as I wrote them. 😘 This is The Way. Din had his way, all the ways. 🥰

3. Working on WIPs via the WIP Tag/Ask game which @trulybetty got me into. I thank her for including me. I may need to work on some of those titles.

Pedro characters from the WIP list include:

Dave York (4 from the list - guess which ones)

Marcus Pike (has 2)

Dieter Bravo (has 3)

Frankie Morales (@i-own-loki he's not dying)

Joel Miller (Frankie and he are tied for one each)

Din Djarin (one as well)

New characters to my writing:

Benny Miller (one listed, 2-3 not listed)

Santiago Garcia (two listed)

When I turn my brain off after coming home. I note different ideas or vibes I had. Sometimes there's bullet points, sentences or just a few words and a description. @tinytinymenace also has this same issue.

Well, there are three people to thank for plunge into the York Pit. The first, is @goodwithcheese with her asks to be about Dave which lead me to write 3-4 paragraphs to each ask. Also her end of the year confessional. Which is hilarious because apparently the way I misspelled someone’s name (I won’t say who, I feel embarrassed about it still 😣) was specific to me. It should also be noted, that maybe one of the two people I’ll mention next reblogged it saying they may know who it is and to DM them. So subtle, and I laughed because my reaction was, “How did they know?!” 🤣 The person who pointed out the spelling error was @for-a-longlongtime who should be a PI 🕵️ and had encouraged me to start writing the Dave cat-mouse fic. As for the reblog, that was the sweet @legendary-pink-dot who I’m not sure if it was my spelling mistake or the way I write. Special mention goes to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for her recent Dave York fic Inamorata

So your friends seem extremely observant!

That they are! If you want to learn about physics, keeping track of where body parts are and tantalizing smut you read Adi’s Nothing that I Didn’t Know she’s going to have more and we’re going to need all the hydration. Dot ran the Catfish Pond PhD Degree program in 2023. She knows our dear Frankie “Catfish” Morales exceptionally well, every curl and freckle I’m pretty sure. Both very smart and eagle- eyed ladies. 👀

Sounds like we should check both of them out! They sound like a blast!

They both are! And so is Megan when she and @trulybetty when they aren’t trying to get us all under control and herd cats and organize things. 😅 Or maybe they are with threats usually, but nice ones. You gotta be there.

We don’t know what to make of that. We’re concerned but intrigued.

As am I most of the time. It’s a good place to be. 😎

Making her update long enough, Hornado hooligan departs!

Wait, what does that name mean?

Ask @mysterious-moonstruck-musings and @undercoverpena they know, they’re both menaces. ❤️❤️

Love Nerdie 💕

[hotchley]

I posted 4,705 times in 2021

2594 posts created (55%)

2111 posts reblogged (45%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.8 posts.

I added 3,041 tags in 2021

#sumayyah stop - 829 posts

#people talk to me - 676 posts

#criminal minds - 405 posts

#i really need a better tag for queue - 327 posts

#aaron hotchner - 305 posts

#for the bad days - 141 posts

#🐝anon - 112 posts

#hotchniss - 85 posts

#sumayyah talks writing - 85 posts

#queue - 76 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i have to try so hard to do well and it just makes me really mad when it gets reduced down to you're smart like f off and let me have this

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

things that happened when hotch first joined the bau

i thought of most of these in the shower. in my opinion, they’re funny.

he got stuck trying to demonstrate how an unsub would have done something and the fire brigade had to rescue him (dave found it hilarious)

he answered his work phone thinking it was his personal phone and accidentally said hey baby to strauss

on that note, she once handed him a juice box because he looked like he was about to pass out and he accidentally called her mom

somebody thought he was just an intern/trainee agent so he got stuck doing admin because he was too southern to explain that he was actually the new profiler

he ate strawberry cheesecake at his first big function and had an allergic reaction in front of everyone. gideon was just confused but dave took him to the hospital

family, friends, potential suspects, potential victims you name it would flirt with him because he was this young man with floppy hair but he was so awkward and bad at accepting compliments that he would just nod and hope that they’d move on

they didn’t and more than once he went home with somebody’s number which haley thought was hilarious because he wore his wedding ring all the time and was never creepy

he slipped down a hill and fell in poison ivy and could tell from the beginning exactly where the rash was developing but he wasn’t about to tell dave because it was embarrassing, so he kept trying to hide it but then dave worked it out and luckily, it was a local case because haley was the only person that he would let near him

more than once, he ended up in a hostage situation because he was basically reid- he’d just go in with no weapon and no vest like hello unsub, i’m aaron

he went too long without sleeping, eating and drinking and just passed out in the middle of the precinct they were in (dave unintentionally caught him)

because it was a case in the south, the admin ladies had already basically adopted him and when he came round, they were all fussing over him and he was mortified

on more than one occasion, other people assumed that he was just the kid or the intern of another agent and because the people involved were either too awkward (hotch), too confused (gideon) or too busy laughing at the people being awkward and confused (rossi) it was an assumption that wasn’t challenged

this is probably part one because i can’t think of any more but i’m sure they’ll come to me

262 notes • Posted 2021-01-20 21:11:42 GMT

#4

“Fuck you my child is completely fine.”

Parent, your child’s comfort show is Criminal Minds. And not only is it Criminal Minds, the specific episodes they watch are the ones where they’re favourite character gets hurt. Badly.

“Well-“

And not only that, their favourite ship is the two people that got with everyone but each other and the only thing that makes them feel anything is watching episodes where they have powerful scenes together, even though they know they won’t get together.

356 notes • Posted 2021-03-22 08:16:21 GMT

#3

Imagine if the BAU got tasked with making one of those anti-bullying/peer pressure advert things that are always cringe and inaccurate.

But because Hotch is in charge it’s the most extreme and dramatic thing ever.

Because for the peer pressure aspect it’s like:

Emily: *monotone* Hey Derek! Do this illegal thing with us!

Derek: *monotone* No. That would be wrong. I am walking away.

Hotch, doing the voiceover: And then Emily went to prison whilst Derek had a successful career as a football player.

Then the bullying thing

JJ: *bored* Wow David, your socks are stupid.

Rossi: *rolling his eyes* Bitch.

Hotch, doing the voiceover: The next time someone insulted Dave’s socks- this time in the workplace he went on a murder spree. Don’t bully kids!

But what really steals the limelight is a) Reid just standing around in the background not doing anything and b) Penelope editing it to be the most dramatic thing ever

369 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 09:24:45 GMT

#2

Jack would get so offended if Hotch ever accidentally called him a BAU member name, especially as a teenager.

He’d be like: Spencer? You’re calling me Spencer? Do you even love me? I’m much more responsible than him!

On the other hand, BAU members love being accidentally called Jack, because a) Hotch’s face when he realises and b) it’s cute!

Hotch gets so flustered either way so…

447 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 11:25:35 GMT

#1

See the full post

1638 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 21:55:27 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[zalrb]

Hey Zal! Hope your having a good day :)

What are your favourite jealousy scenes or couples? For example (and I know you ship them so don't list them lol) the only part of season 8 of GOT i liked was when you could clearly see Sansa was jealous of Jonerys bc it proved to me that Jonsa is a thing canoncially lol. But I also liked how Sansa was like fighting Dany bc she is destroying the North/westoros lol but also bc she is jealous

Or another example is in Bones whenever Booth is jealous lol, I love his reactions etc. I hope what I'm asking makes sense bc English isn't my first language 😅

Lol, I have posts on this already tbh but I'll answer it again because, like, two days ago @initiumseries and I were talking about how much we like the way kdramas do jealousy. So in that vein, I'm going to start with kdramas

I remember DYING when this scene happened because I was like he is so jealous of someone else liking her but still ends up saying that the other person who likes her has good taste FOR liking her

and then:

I remember being like, with the wrong delivery this just could come across as controlling but it was actually hilarious and sweet:

This is one you have to actually watch because he isn’t even angry, he is just so distraught so she’s like omg, you’re adorable:

These two are such dorks:

This was also really cute:

and then he runs back to get the note but she already saw it:

DOTS has a few of them that are hilarious so in this one --- the male leads were drooling over a girl group and it was caught on TV

 so one of the girlfriends goes on TV and says that she doesn’t have a boyfriend

then there’s when the female leads were arguing over a boy that got between them in med school

then there’s another when two women from a previous double date sent them both care packages, lol.

and then like

This is more, like, irritation than jealousy but it’s kind of a jealous irritation since they’re talking about who in the office the lead would date without knowing that he’s secretly dating her and they’re saying she’d never date him

I laughed so hard at this scene because they’re dating in secret so his friend drags him to a double date and she sees

OK so that’s it for kdramas right now. In terms of other scenes

By now people should know I don’t care for Jess and Rory but I was a shipper when the show was on the air and I remember liking this moment

because it showed that Jess was keeping tabs on Rory even though the only time you saw him previously, he was making out with Shane so I was like lol, you were watching and I can still appreciate it for that even though they were both so shitty

Less ehhh is Lane and Dave! He ran CLEAR ACROSS town just to see what was up

there are others but this is already ridiculously long.

[p-artsypants]

Spinel ‘The Guilt Friend’ and the Impossible Problem

I watched the Steven Universe Movie with my friend John. At the end, I asked him how he liked it, and he looked at me misty-eyed and said, “Spinel reminds me of Dave.”

Now, John has many friends, because he’s incredibly nice and hilarious. One of them is Dave. John is his ONLY friend. And the only thing that’s keeping John being friends with him is guilt.

Sounds like a pretty poor friendship, right? Some of you might even be thinking, why is John stringing him along? That’s so mean!

Well, what if Dave doesn’t give him a choice? John and I have plans this weekend with some other friends. We confirmed our plans together last week. A few days later, he texts me and says, “hey, Dave wants to hang out this weekend. I have to decide who I want to bail on.” (For context, Dave lives an hour away from both John and I, and can’t drive. Thus making him join our plans difficult. When I suggested that we invite Dave, John got an exhausted look on his face, and said ‘please don’t make me do that.’)

“You can’t just tell him this weekend doesn’t work, but you’ll hang out next weekend?”

“No, because I’m afraid that will hurt his feelings.”

This was puzzling. A friend who would get upset because you were busy, because you couldn’t drop everything to be with them?

I saw this for what this was. A manipulation tactic, even if Dave didn’t realize he was doing it.

Thus, the first connection to Spinel. The most obvious. Spinel wanted to be with Pink, no matter what. And became upset when Pink or Steven tried to go somewhere without her. And unlike most people, she was clear to show it. Look at how she clamped onto Pink’s wrist back when she was ‘innocent’?

Talking with John, I also learned that being friends with Dave was exhausting, because Dave has no interest in John. Bizarre, right, considering that Dave has proclaimed that he and John are best friends, even without John’s consent.

What I mean, is that Dave revels and craves the attention of John, and depends on him for his happiness. He doesn’t attempt to do things that John enjoys, only makes John get involved in his interests.

You’re probably thinking: “Well, Spinel was totally devoted to Pink and just wanted to make her happy.”

Because that was Spinel’s interest. She wanted to play and entertain. She had no interest in being serious. When Pink got a colony from Blue and Yellow, Spinel’s reaction wasn’t happy because Pink finally got the respect and duties of a diamond, she was happy because they got a new place to play.

Even when Steven goes to try to lift the extractor, everyone is concerned for him, even those who are out of it.

But Spinel takes the opportunity to crack a joke, showing complete social unawareness. Yeah, in the movie it was funny and cute, but in real life, it was completely inappropriate. Even when Pink was given her colony, Spinel was jumping all around and being goofy, when Pink is trying to be a big girl for the other diamonds.

What pushed Spinel over the edge, to the place where she remembered what happened, was seeing Steven fuse with Greg. Steven left, and she no longer had his attention.

So Spinel gets her memories back. She shuts off the Injector. Now they can get back to having their happily ever after.

“What about me?” Says Spinel. Now, Steven is trapped. He HAS to be friends with Spinel. If he’s not, she goes psycho crazy. Which, is of course exactly what happens. Because Spinel is depending on Steven for her happiness now. And that’s the thing with Steven. He befriends his enemies, and that’s how he wins. But it doesn’t work like that in real life. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. You can’t be friends with everyone. People will disagree with you, and never talk to you again. That’s fine. Sometimes, people are toxic and hurtful, and it’s safer for you to let them go and move on. This is the biggest gripe I have with SU.

Back to John and Dave. Everyone who was friends with Dave has left, because of his destructive behavior, selfishness, and toxic personality. All except for John, who is desperate to leave, but has said to me, “if I leave him, I will be responsible for his death.”

Steven and John are both trapped into being friends with someone they would rather not be friends with, simply because of guilt.

Spinel has a moment in the final battle, where she makes the declarion “I wasn’t good enough for her. And now I’m not good at all.” Up until this moment, her problems had nothing to do with her. It was all Pink’s fault. (Granted, Pink was awful. And I’m not trying to shift the blame.)

But after she realizes this, she makes the declarative “what am I doing? I’m supposed to be your friend.” Then later, she says “friendship isn’t going to be easy for me. I’ll have to work at it.”

Spinel now recognizes that forcing someone to be your friend is what drove Pink away in the end. She doesn’t know how to be friend. She knows how to play and make jokes, but not how to be a friend. But she learns that’s something that’s wrong with her, and she needs to work on.

Dave has not yet made this realization.

The Ending.

Or as I like to call it, “The Cop Out.”

Because the diamonds return to Earth, see Spinel, love her jokes and adopt her. But the thing that makes me mad, is that this isn’t actually solving the problem. Spinel’s final line is, “I’ve already found someone.”

Call me crazy, but that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Spinel is going to go right back to where she was before, thriving on the attention the Diamonds give her.

But in another 6 thousand years, what will happen? Will her jokes grow stale? Will her social obliviousness get her in trouble?

More than likely, if Spinel doesn’t figure out how to be herself, and be a good friend at the same time, she’s destined to end up abandoned on a garden again.

Now for John, he saw that ending. He looked at his situation and said, “I don’t feel good about just...handing Dave off to someone else. He hasn’t learned yet.”

And there’s no one to hand him off to. Dave isn’t interested in making new friends. Not when John is so willing to pay attention to him to keep the piece. I’ve told John that what he’s doing is enabling him, and he’s aware of that. But right now, he doesn’t know what to do. Because what made Spinel figure out that she was responsible for her own happiness, was trauma and pain.

But no one wants to be the person to say, “the reason you don’t have any friends, is because you’re miserable to be around.”

I know, because I was a Spinel of the world. My mom always said that I walk to the best of my own drum, and I do what I want to do, even if it’s considered weird. I still do this.

But in middle school, I did what I wanted, despite the effect it would have on others. I was obnoxious, annoying, rude, and uninterested in others. Because middle school is hard, I was bullied. Relentlessly. I became depressed, and demanded my friends make me happy.

Eventually, I left the situation, and had my eyes opened, and realized it was a two way street. If I wanted people to care and love me, I had to make an effort to see them eye to eye. But this was a revelation I had to come to on my own.

None of this is meant to say you have to conform to what everyone wants. Still be yourself, but be mindful of others. If you see you’re talking about the tv show or books too much and people are getting annoyed, lay off. Find someone else to gush with. Be mindful of your environment and act accordingly.

Just my two cents.

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I5] ====>

DIZZY: um anyway DAVE: as yizzou can see ive bizzeen mackin' probably way too mizzay tiznime wit trolls

JOHN: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. ha ha.

DIZZAY: it meszes wit yizzou DAVE: gets yizzy thinkizzle 'bout... stuff DAVE: yizzy know?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN fo yo bitch ass: i ciznan imagine. JOHN ya feelin' me? i thizzle life was a lot mizzy bor'n on tha sizzy. JOHN: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. bizzay we talked 'bout y-aw a lot dogg! JOHN: we would always wonda hizzle you n roze were managizzle ta git along wit all thoze crazy trolls. JOHN: i thizzle mostly we pictured a lot of arguments. Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

DAVE: thats not tizzle far off

JIZZAY: i'm still gett'n uze' ta hav'n such insane, limitlizzles powers that let me go anywhere i want... JOHN ta help you tap dat ass: it tempt'n to go ta tizzay periods like yours and fizzind out whiznat i misze' ya dig? JIZZOHN so you betta run and grab yo glock: but i don't wiznant ta mess wit too much anymizzle, since it seems like i gots tha time lizzay ta a funky ass stizzay place as it be. J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: so i guess i just hizzy ta do what any regulizzle homey dizzy, n imizzle fondlizzle what it wizzy be L-to-tha-izzike if i gots ta trizzle wit you G-to-tha-izzuys. JIZZY: i wonda if i would have gizzle like... absorbed 'n trizzle culture tizzle? or troll W-to-tha-izzays of pimpin'.

DIZZAVE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. its really inevitable DIZZAVE thats off tha hook yo: yiznou pick up tha lingo tizzy pick up yours DIZNAVE sho nuff: its like a stupid cultural melange afta a whizzle thizzat barely makes anizzle senze from eitha frame of refizzle

JOHN: i poser if i W-to-tha-izzould hizzy learned ta understand black romizzle? Drop it like its hot. JOHN: it S-to-tha-izzuch a goofy idea, but it sizzay pretty important ta trolls in tha mutha fuckin club.

DIZNAVE: they tizzake all they quadrants P-R-E-Double-Tizzy seriously tbh

JIZZAY: yeah upside yo head. JIZZOHN like a tru playa': years ago whiznen we first mizzay tha trolls, i rememba bein pretty fascinated by all our cultural differences, whizzay karkat n vriska were mobbin' me 'bout tizzy fo all my homies in the pen. JIZZY droppin hits: i rememba reallizzle sincerely try'n ta understand it all friznom they point of vizzy! it hizzle though cuz its a doggy dog world. JIZZOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. i still T-H-to-tha-izzink 'bout tha idea of black romance sometimes, n try ta imagine how that really works... or "feels"... i dizzon't K-N-to-tha-izzow. JOHN: d-ya understand it?

DIZZAY: yeah ive spent enizzle time talkin 'bout it whizzere i think i "git it" but DIZZAVE: ive neva had cauze or anizzle rizzeal inclination ta put it into practice or nothin' trippin'

JOHN: mainly the idizzle of sippin' somebody, n translat'n thizzat into attractizzle, or some kind of romancey rhymin' so show some love, niggaz! it feels so alizzle ta me with my forty-fo' mag. JOHN: n yoe R-to-tha-izzight, i have a reallizzle hizzay tiznime even hat'n anyone 'n tha first pliznace!

DAVE: word

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i mizzy, i git ANNOYED by thugz, sure now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe.

DIZZY: lizzle whizzay DAVE now pass the glock: me?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: no, niznot really. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. JIZZY: wizzay, sometimes, but nizzle mizzle. i always tended ta exaggerate mah grievances wit yizzle, fo` tha sake of lizzay. Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

DAVE: hizzle

JIZZAY: a betta exizzle be, more recentlizzle, whizzle i was do'n mah retcon missizzle... Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. JOHN: i was gett'n RIZZLE annoyed wit terezi n ha mind games.

DAVE: Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. yuuup

JOHN so you betta run and grab yo glock: it definizzle neva crosze' tha L-to-tha-izzine ta "hizzle" though, coz we were work'n together ta try n fizzix a dire sitizzle, n even though she weird n insane, she otherwize a pretty gizzy nigga. J-TO-THA-IZZOHN but real niggaz don't give a fuck: but all her needl'n and japes at totally inappropriate times, when there wizzas so mizzuch on tha line... JIZNOHN: argh, it was SO FRUSTRATING.

KARKAT: EGBERT, I HAVE NEWS FO` YOU.

DIZZY so show some love, niggaz! whoa hes B-to-tha-izzack! DAVE: all right side up n everyth'n

KARKIZZLE: I HIZZY YOU WERE TALK'N 'BOUT QUADRIZZLE, SO I DECIDIZZLE TA PAUZE MAH TANTRUM. KARKAT: JOHN, ALL YOE DO'N HERE BE DESCRIB'N THA SUBTLE FEEL'N WHICH PLANT THA SEE' FO` HAV'N A CALIGINOUS CRUSH ON SOMEONE.

JOHN with my forty-fo' mag: whizzat??

KARKAT: YIZZOU HIZZY ME. KIZZLE like a motha fucka: YOU BE NAIVELY STEPPIN' TA STRUGGL'N WIT SOME BLACK FEELIZZLE FO` TEREZI. KARKAT: SO, THIZZERE YIZNOU GO. QUESTION ANSWERED. KARKAT: T-TO-THA-IZZURNS OUT YOU ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF BLIZZLE ROMANCE.

JIZNOHN: n... no! Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.

KARKAT: A FIZZY REBUTTAL. HOWEVA, CONSIDA DIS COUNTERPOINT: Holla! KARKAT: Y... YES???

JIZZAY: but i dizzay HIZZY ha, n i'm sizzle i neva will in tha mutha fuckin club! JOHN: i'm jizzle cruisin' i find ha, lizzy, somizzle annoy'n, n REALLY aggravat'n a lot of tha T-to-tha-izzime, but that it!

KARKAT: Death row 187 4 life. BUT THAT EXACTLIZZLE WHIZZLE THA FEEL'N BE! KARKAT: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. IT DOESN'T START OUT AS FULL BLOWN ANTIPATHY, N IT RARELY EVEN REACHES SIZZLE AN EXTREME LEVEL OF HOSTILITY EVEN SHOT CALLA LONG TIZZLE BLACK RELATIONSHIPS. KARKAT: THERE BE PIZZY TA IT, BUT OTHERWIZE A GENERAL EBB N FLIZZLE TA THA DARK FEEL'N, JUST LIKE WIT FLUSHED RELATIONSHIPS.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: ok, but... JOHN: i don't knizzay if i'm express'n myself clearlizzle. JOHN: i fizzle aggravated by killa a lizzle, but thizzay dizzay fully describe... JOHN, chill yo: L-to-tha-izzike, there wizzay thoze "negative" weed-smokin', bizzay also... JOHN: bizzay...

KARKAT: Holla! YEAH, TIZZY IT, RIGHT THERE!!! KIZZLE: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. THA "BIZZAY" BE ALWIZZLE P-TO-THA-IZZART OF IT. KARKAT: WHIZNAT YOE *TRY'N* TA SAY BE, YOU HIZZAD FRUSTRATED, NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARD HER, BIZZY THEY DON'T COMPREHENSIVELY ACCOUNT FO` YO' ATTITIZZLE TOWARD HER. KARKAT: MEAN'N, THIZZERE BE SIZZY WEED-SMOKIN' 'BOUT HA YOU ACTUALLIZZLE LIZZAY, BUT THA NEGATIVE FEEL'N MAKE IT HARD FO` YOU TA PUT YO' PIMP ON THEM, OR EVEN WIZZANT TA ACKNOWLEDGE THEM. KARKIZZLE: THAT BE ABSOLIZZLE STANDARD. WHAT GIZZLE WIZZY IT BE TRIPPIN' A KISMESIS WHO DIDN'T POSSESS QUALITIES YIZZOU ACTUALLY ADMIRED ON SOME LIZZLE where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'? KARKAT: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. THAT WIZNOULD BE MACKIN', N IT WIZZOULDN'T EVIZZLE WORK. THERE'D BE NO TIZZLE, NO PUSH N PULL 'N THA TURBULENT EMOTIZZLE LANDSCAPE. THA SUBTLE POSITIVES ADD FUEL TA THA NEGATIVE FEEL'N, OFTEN GIV'N THEM A REASIZZLE TA EXIST AT ALL. THEY INFLAME THIZZAY AGGRAVAT'N FACTORS, REMIND'N YIZZAY DEEP D-TO-THA-IZZOWN HOW MIZZLE YOU WIZZY LIZZIKE N ADMIRE DIS PERSON IF IT WASN'T FO` ALL THIZZAY CHILLIN' FLIZZAWS, N THA INCRIZZLE SENZE OF FRUSTRATION THIZZAT CAUZES ALIZZLE WIT ALL THE ASSOCIZZLE HOT-HEEZEEED FEELINGS, THAT'S THA ESSENCE OF BLACK ROMANCE. KARKAT: N THA POSITIVE QUALITIES YIZZLE SEE DEEP DIZZY 'N A KISMESIS ALSO SERVE AS THA BASIS FO` RED FEEL'N TOWIZZLE THAT PERSON, ASSUM'N THA RELATIONSHIP EVA STIZZARTS TA VACILLATE. KARKAT: IT ALL PRETTIZZLE STRAIGHTFORWARD, REALLY.

JOHN: no droppin hits... dis is mesze' up!

DIZZAY: i dunno jizzay it all siznounds pretty logical ta me DIZZAY: karkat knows his shit when it comes ta qizzles

JOHN: argh! Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. JIZZOHN: it can't be triznue thizzay... JOHN: it fizzy so fucked up! JOHN: what if yoe right though... erg! Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. no bitch ass nigga... JOHN: no, no, no, no...

KARKAT fo' sho': THAT PART OF IT TIZZOO! KARKAT, chill yo: THA "NO NO NO" BE ALL PIZZLE OF THA FEELING. THAT'S HOW IT *ALWAYS* GOES. KARKAT: DIS SENZE OF SELF INCRIMINATION WHIZZEN IT DAWN'N ON YIZZAY THIZNAT YOU HAVE THEZE CONFLICT'N FEEL'N TOWARD SOMEONE WHIZNO BUGS YIZNOU SO MUCH. KARKAT in tha mutha fuckin club: OH MAH GOD, DIS WHOLE REACTION IS SO FUCK'N TEXTBOOK. IT HILARIOUS, REALLY.

JIZZY: it fizzle up T-H-to-tha-izzough!!!

KARKAT: IT SUPPOZE' TA FEEL FUCKED UP!

JOHN: aw, dawg.  ta help you tap dat ass:( JOHN: i just wizzle ta have a funky ass catch-up chizzat, not gizzy so transparently owned at the trollmizzles fo' real.

DAVE so bow down to the bow wow! it happens to tha B-to-tha-izzest of us sooner or wanna be gangsta DAVE: dis crap is kind of old hizzat ta me by nizzy bizzut i git why yiznoure kinda freckl'n at tha implicatizzles here DAVE: yizzy didnt have years of livizzle W-to-tha-izzith trolls ta kinda normalize dis stuff

JOHN: i don't thizzle i want it ta feel normalize' though! Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. JOHN: i'm not ready to... JOHN: like, admizzle that... i hiznave S-to-tha-izzome warped spade criznush on ha, baze' on... JOHN: some feel'n i dizzay understand n makes no senze ta me! JOHN: oh god... what if it trizzle?? JOHN: i have ta try as hard as i cizzy ta suppress dis feel'n n mizzy sure i neva think 'bout it agizzle!

DIZZAVE: ok sounds like a weenizzle th'n ta do but sure hizzave fun wit that

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: fizzy. Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. JOHN: yizzeah, probizzle. JIZZAY: just... JOHN: pleaze don't tizzay ha abizzle anizzle of dis, ok guys?

KARKAT: J-TO-THA-IZZOHN, YOU DON'T HAVE TA REMIND US 'BOUT ONE OF THA MOST FUNDAMENTAL STATUTES OF THA BRO CODE, WHIZZLE BE PRACTIZZLE FUCKIZZLE SCRIPTURE ON MY PLANET, DAT'N BACK HUNDREDS OF MILLENIA. KARKAT: DAVE AND I FUCK'N SLIZZAY N BREATHE THA BRO CODE N ALL OF ITS CLAUSES, NO MATTA HIZZOW FIZNINE THA PRINT. KIZZLE: They call me tha black folks president. FIZZAY FREE TA C-TO-THA-IZZOME N RAP TA US 'BOUT DIS ANY TIME. YO' SECRETS WILL ALWAYS BE SAFE.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. dude that sentiment be W-to-tha-izzell n good but DAVE: whizzle youre pledg'n a vizzy of secrizzle mizzaybe you should try ta keep it diznown a shawty

KARKAT puttin tha smack down: DAMN. YEAH. KARKAT: SORRY.

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