#dash:mariah

[starletolivia]

@fairygodmariah:

You don’t have to wait forever! Just hook her up with a cute guy and your problems are solved! Kristina gets married and she totes owes you! It’s not impossible, she’s pretty!

If anyone can make it into acting this late into the game, it’s you, Liv! The extra years of it would’ve just given us less time to hang out.

Awww, you’re so nice! That’s why someone like you deserves a fairy godmother, not a genie. Genies are like slaves for you, whereas godmothers just like you, befriend you, and help you whenever!

Kristina and a cute boy, hmm, what could be the problem with that? Oh yeah, maybe the fact that she like, literally only talks to Benji as far as people with penises go.

You’d think, right? But did you know that Cupcake has a sister who’s like, determined to steal all the lead roles in every play from now until eternity? Ugh, what did the Darling-Pans do, go out and adopt every kid with the potential to ruin our lives in Auradon?

Right? I don’t get why the Genie wouldn’t just love me enough to stick around and cast wishes for me forever, but I guess it’s a good thing that magic’s still deadzo so I never have to deal with this scenario for real.