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shirtlesssammy · 8 years ago

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All Along the Watchtower: Just Stab Me with an Angel Blade Recap

Then:

Just as Cas has faith in the nephilim, we have faith this season was worth it. Carry on��.

Now:

Our beautiful, blue-eyed angelic wavelength of celestial intent stares wondrously at Chuck’s mighty creation. It’s a sight to behold, and the mountains aren’t bad either. (I’ll be here all night!)

He turns from nature’s great view and heads towards a little run-down house, where Kelly Kline is inside struggling with her latest Ikea purchase, a new bed for her angelbaby. Cas finds her and reminds her that he said he’d put it together. “I’m very good at following instructions.” Lolz. Kelly is having pre-baby -Oh, right, this thing is going to kill me- jitters. Cas reassures her that he will do whatever it takes to raise this baby.

Meanwhile, at Casa Bunker, Dean, Sam, and Mary are all reeling from the fact that Lucifer walks the Earth. They thought they almost had it all, but then got renewed for season 13. They blame Crowley (justly) for this current mess, but Crowley is dead. Dean will believe that cockroach is dead when he sees the body (crying small tears in the corner). Cue Night of the Living Dead hand and our favorite King of Hell emerging from his grave! Our strong predictions that Crowley smoked out to the nearby rat was spot-on.

RAGE ALERT

JFC, show. Like will you ever fucking learn how to kill your women correctly (or maybe stop)? Boris is firmly in the camp that Rowena is not dead….or at least is 10 steps ahead of the game. Because this was a load of bullshit how she died. Rowena (and Ruthie!) deserved better than an off-screen death. Tl;dr: Lucifer killed Rowena, burned her to a crisp, and kept a lock of her hair. The boys call her and get Luci on the line instead. Sammy, I’m sorry you had to talk to that monster.

Cas and Kelly are back from a Target run. Cas, after learning that Everybody Poops, bought the store out of diapers.

Classic dialog Alert:

Kelly:I’m just saying, the checkout guy looked at us like we were super weird.

Cas:You get used to it.

CAS!

Kelly then has a mini-contraction and while Cas helps her back to the house, she brushes the side of the truck leaving some babygrace behind.

At the bunker, Dean points out that they can’t kill or imprison Lucifer. Sam suggests finding Cas and Kelly, and keep them on the move before the baby is born. Mary wonders how they track Cas and Kelly. Sam exposits that anytime a nephilim is born, things get weird.

Cut to Cas heading to his backyard, and a glowing crack in space and time. He reaches out to touch it (WHY CAS WHY?), and gets sucked into an alternate world, where the sky flashes red, the wind blows grey dust, and the world is a barren wasteland of impaled bodies on spikes and ominous distant mountains.

Cas is almost taken out by a horned demon, before he’s rescued by a familiar face.

Kelly records a video for her unborn child. More contractions!

At the bunker, research is slow. Sam makes it clear that “whatever this thing is going to be, it’s going to be big and bad.” In pops Crowley! “You rang? Hello boys.”

POW! Dean pops Crowley, knocking him out of his chair. Dean wants to kill him for letting Luci go, but Sam interjects. He might know the cage spell. It’s then then they not so ceremoniously break the bad news to Crowley that his dead mum is not dead. It’s here that Crowley admits some -only people who are going to die soon- truths. “I wanted to win. I perverted Mother’s spell, put Lucifer in a vessel of my own making because I wanted to win.” He was tired of others vying for his throne. One problem though: He hates it. He’ll always bet on the Winchesters though, and wants to make a deal: He’ll seal the gates of Hell, provided he stays Earth-side.

You know Kelly’s in serious contraction mode when she calls out for Cas using “Castiel.”

Sam locates a house in the Pacific Northwest rented out to one “James Novak”. Ah, I see Cas didn’t stick with his super smooth aliases then. The Winchesters are on the trail!

Meanwhile, Doula Castiel is coaching his expectant patient through the still very far apart pressure waves. (Ngl, I’m here for all the doula Cas AU fics. I need something fluffy this summer, damnit!) He took the class online, guys!

Kelly asks Cas again when the nephilim showed him. He saw a world without pain or hunger or want (kind of like the world Amara wanted? Hmm.) It is a world without fear or suffering or hate. He saw paradise.

The throaty rumble of the Impala sounds outside and Castiel rushes downstairs to greet Dean, Sam, and Mary. (Boris notes: Cas only greets Dean.) “Is this place warded?” Dean demands. It’s gotta be strong enough to hold off Lucifer.

Dean’s pissed and promises to work out their issues later (sobs). Cas warns them that Kelly can’t be moved; she’s having the baby RIGHT NOW DUDES. Mary rushes off to check on her, for she is also a member of the childbirth sucks club.

They run through their options. Cas likely can’t channel the child’s powers to toast Lucifer. Dean grumbles at his bum knee and Cas rolls his eyes, stretches out his hand, and heals him.

There’s a crackling yellow flare to Dean’s healing cut that is so minute…but I fervently believe it will factor into Castiel’s resurrection in Season 13. Nephilim power, baby! I have faith, my friends, and I am like THIS close to writing the Gospel of Cas this summer, you have no idea.

The Winchesters and Cas head outside and spot the “tear in space and time” - so named and identified thanks to The Doctor Castiel. “Like Narnia?” Dean asks. No, Dean. (You can’t stop me from picturing Dean and Mr. Tumnus having tea.) The nephilim’s power, Cas explains, punctured the fabric of the universe. Cas leads them through the tear to Dark!Verse. He identifies it as a horrific reality where Earth is in the latter years of a grinding apocalypse - demons and angels fighting each other and humanity all but extinguished. Sam’s curious how Cas figured out all of the fine print out and Cas says, mysteriously, “a friend told me.”

Castiel assures them that the nephilim will close the gap when he is born. “I have faith,” he tells them. (Me: rubs hands at Castiel’s even more firmly entrenched faith once that nephilim gets him resurrected amirite?)

“Well then you’re a dumbass,” Dean says, like a dumbass.

The Mysterious Figure approaches and whips off his scarf. It’s Darkverse!Bobby! While I wish it’d been a long dead female character, it is nice to see Jim Beaver again. (Boris interjects: Jim Beaver has been in every season of Supernatural. I’m glad we get to see him again!)

Bobby doesn’t know Dean and Sam because those two crazy kids were never born in that reality - and therefore never stopped the apocalypse. Bobby mentions hearing the Winchester name from a dead hunter he knew, Mary Campbell, who often went on about her dead lover when drunk. (If Mary hadn’t made the deal, you guys, we’d be looking at DEATH SPIKES. I’d like to personally shake Andrew Dabb’s hand for this move. Mary, may you learn to accept your mistakes and move on.)

Back at the house Kelly’s getting close to giving birth. She mourns her impending death but excuses it by saying she would die for her son. Kelly, I’m so glad you developed some agency at the end, even though you’re toast. Mary and Kelly bond over martyrdom and motherhood, which is definitely healthy and normal.

Back in Dark!verse, Bobby boasts that he “usually guns down flyboys on sight” with his angel blade bullets. Dean’s eyes light up at a new toy only to have Cas throw him the most exasperated OH MY GOD DEAN look. Oh Cas, we’ll take care of you. (By lassoing writers and forcing them to resurrect you and give you a cat.)

TFW blasts through the tear again only to be confronted by Crowley, who has managed to wriggle out of the (rather feeble) demon blade trap. He offers to help.

Up at the house, childbirth is shitty. Cas knocks at the door and asks to speak to Kelly alone. He reassures Kelly, reminding her of his paradise vision (which I’m really not sure whether I can believe or if he’s just lying to her to ease her through death).

“Cas has faith in this kid,” Dean notes to Sam but as for himself, “I have faith in us. You, me, mom, Cas, and Crowley…sometimes.” They walk outside to face Lucifer.

“Chuck will stop you,” Sam says. (Oh, honey, no he won’t.)

“Every time I look at this sad trash fire of a world, you know what I keep thinking?” Lucifer asks. “I could do so much better.” (<– Me: breathlessly parallels this to Cas’s “sad, doomed little world” speech and how Cas is SO GOOD and also the nephilim’s inevitable journey towards embracing free will)

The rumble starts, Cas gets knocked aside immediately, and Sam and Dean run off. The Winchesters lead Lucifer to the universe tear and Lucifer happily follows them through. Lucifer gets cornered by Sam and Dean, who levels Darkverse!Bobby’s angel killing machine gun at him. “Say hello to my little friend,” Dean actually, literally says.

It…doesn’t work. But it does hold him off for a while so Sam and Crowley can work the spell to lock Lucifer in the Mad Max wasteland. While Dean is getting the snot beaten out of him, Crowley heads off to grab a life sacrifice to heal the rift. Specifically, Crowley is going to use his own life to seal the rift.

And…Crowley sparks out with a final, “Bye, boys.” Dean and Sam hesitate at the portal when Cas bursts through and runs after Lucifer with his angel blade drawn. Oh, Castiel, you didn’t get the memo? (bites nails)

Back at the house, Kelly screams and then begins to glow as the nephilim, aka “baby cannon” as someone hilariously termed it, is born.

Dean and Sam emerge back into their own universe and the tear begins to close as Castiel, on the other side, knifes Lucifer in the gut.

Cas burst through the portal. WHEW just in time, right? Only…

^^^ Fandom right now ^^^

Fucking Lucifer knifes Cas in the back (in the same way Billie was killed by Cas earlier in the season…More disconcerting parallels).

I mean, this hurts so bad that I had to stop this recap. Just. CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

Cas falls to the ground. Solidly.

“Points for trying, super impressed,” Lucifer says. Mary approaches, slips on two sets of Enochian warded brass knuckles, and cracks Lucifer in the face.

Mary. Fucking. Winchester everyone.

She punches Lucifer to the tear and then pushes him through it, pulled in by him at the last minute. The tear heals. Mary is trapped in Dark!Verse with Lucifer. (Reminding everyone that a whole legion of angels is about to descend on that area. An injured Lucifer scampers off and Mary is ushered to safety by Bobby. Right? Right. We’ll do a reality-jumping spell next season to go save her.)

“No no no no no,” says Dean, one hand held up to where his mother disappeared and the other towards the ground at the prone body of Castiel. No no no no no is right, Dean.

Sam looks at Castiel then back at the flickering lights of the house. Sam runs inside to the nephilim, leaving Dean to kneel at the side of his best friend (and the love of his life). Dean looks up to Heaven where I SWEAR TO GOD he is going to pray to Chuck for the first time ever and my heart is going to break again. (As positive as I am at Castiel’s resurrection this scene actually makes me a little nauseous.)

Sam heads inside and finds Kelly dead on the bed. He hears a noise from the other room and finds, in the baby’s room near the apple tree mural, a young man huddled in the corner. His eyes glow golden in the gloom.

*Flails*

And for those following along, I’d like to close with these cherry-picked lines from T.S. Eliot’s “Little Gidding”

We die with the dying:

See, they depart, and we go with them.

We are born with the dead:

See, they return, and bring us with them.

What we call the beginning is often the end

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

The end is where we start from.

Quotes from Bizarro World:

If you ask me if I have the quarter inch allen wrench one more time I am going to come down there and burn your giant Viking junk yard of a store to the ground.

I’m very good at following instructions.

Everybody poops.

This is what you do when I’m not here? Type?

Can you flame on again?

It’s a bizarro world.

Supernatural wasn’t real. And you were Polish.

Wait, angel killing bullets? Awesome.

You big, beautiful, lumbering piles of flannel.

#spn recap #spn 12x23 #all along the watchtower #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #mary winchester #crowley #rowena #lucifer #kelly kline #alt!Bobby #supernatural season 12

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