#dark ralathor

[gabrielsellesty]

TERRORVORTEX AD ASTRIAX

O.w.

Another Edit I did and Iam kinda proud of! Have to admit that the backround is made by me 🫣

You though it was just a joke about dark Ralathor? Naah... Enjoy!✨💙

[borealopelta]

hello I would like to hear about the guard dog of all your fever dreams (from your wip folder) (i think i have a hunch on where this is going)

fully forgot to answer this lmaooooo anyway my beloved guard dog fic is!!!! dark ralathor!!!! aka ralathor's thousand year long con of earning the trust of the mcfife family and generally all of dundee and then using his insider knowledge to free zargothrax for fun and profit. why wait until chaos wizards attempt it when you (eldritch wizard being) can wiggle around dundee until they put you in charge of building the triton containment unit thus giving you free reign to build in as many blind spots to aid your eventual Guy Heist as you want. i have so so little of it done but here's a snippity snippet:

Ever since Fife’s expansion beyond the limits of Earth began with Crail’s relocation to Triton under the rule of Dundax III, interest in Earth had been on a steady decline. Sure, Dundee was still technically the capital of the Empire, but most kings since Dundax IV’s time resided on Mars. Because of this, when Ralathor’s plan had inevitably bumped into the problem of where he would store the wizard he stole from the fortress of Crail, the only logical choice turned out to be that they go straight back to Earth. Everyone would search for Zargothrax in the most hidden pockets of the multiverse, it wouldn't occur to anyone to look for him right under the nose of the empire.

[the-light-finds-its-way]

A while ago, I came up with a Hive Guardian named Aukesh. He was found by a Titan named Ralathor, who took Aukesh for safety and to make sure this Lucent Hive didn't do anything stupid or detrimental.

I haven't really written anything since this, but I'll fix that now.

Aukesh is a Titan himself. But he hasn't really shown his strength to Ralathor yet. After all, the dude was just resurrected recently.

Anyway, I imagine Ralathor is trying to help Aukesh learn about his Titan powers and what all he's capable of now. Aukesh shows promise, potential, quickly learning the different forms of Light and Darkness he can wield. The two haven't been in action much together yet, but that's about to change.

Both Titans go into the field one day for a mission, and when they reach the final target, a Tormentor, the duo fights it off.

This Tormentor is, as any, horrifying in strength. It flings Aukesh and Ralathor far away from one another, then charges Ralathor with its glaive raised. Shouting something in a tongue he can't understand, it pins him down and lifts the glaive to not him, but his Ghost.

Aukesh gets up and sees this, then screeches a Hive banshee scream. Grasping his sword, the Titan comes flying in, Stasis empowering his every movement as he suddenly musters a fury unfathomable to all. He drives the sword through the Tormentor, freezing it from the inside out as he pulls it away from Ralathor and it remains impaled on the blade. The Titan stares it down in its horrified eyes, and hisses harshly. "You are not of Light. You are a product of the Witness and its corruption. But I am your end, for the Light yields not to terror." Aukesh yanks the sword from the Tormentor which falls to the ground screaming as it freezes entirely internally first, then externally. It's a cold and agonizing death.

Aukesh rushes to Ralathor, blood dripping from his sword, and he holds one hand to his friend.

Ralathor looks up at the Hive Titan with pure horror and awe. "Remind me never to get on your bad side." He grasps Aukesh's hand and is pulled to his feet.

Nodding, Aukesh hugs Ralathor tight. "You do not deserve a Final Death. So long as I stand, I will make sure none fall. But most certainly not you." He separates, and sees an entire battalion of Taken on the horizon. Without missing a beat, he charges forth with his bloodied blade, and drives through a line of Taken, carving through all as though they're nothing, and he unleashes a fury unlike that which Ralathor has ever seen. The Hive Titan freezes all in his path and shatters their corpses with sword and body, his destruction knowing no end.

This, Ralathor sees, is Sword Logic. Show no mercy, no forgiveness, and kill. Bring war. Bring wrath. And never EVER yield.

Aukesh is horrifically powerful in combat, the Titan wielding himself as though he is the weapon.

Ralathor admires this dearly. He can't bring himself to say it, but the fact that Aukesh combines the fury of a Titan with the wrath of a Hive Knight, it's immense and grand.

When the battle is over, Ralathor sees Aukesh panting and doubled over in exhaustion, and he puts an arm around the Hive, grinning. "You're damn mighty, friend. I'll get the ship, and we can report back to the Vanguard."

"Give me a moment," Aukesh says. He stands up and walks to the frozen Tormentor, then grasps its glaive. He breaks it free from the ice, and then walks to Ralathor, holding the weapon before him. "Take it. Remind yourself never to yield to any foe. One must master the art of death if they are to be at its whims."

Ralathor is burning hot, stammering quietly as he gently grasps the glaive.

Aukesh tries to hear what his friend is saying, but can't make it out. No less, when the glaive is taken, the ship comes flying overhead, and transmats him and Ralathor. The two fly out toward Earth, and report their victory to the Vanguard.

But the entire way, Ralathor seems tense, and otherwise remains silent.

"Are you alright, friend?" Aukesh asks.

"Can you eat Human food?"

"Uhh... I wouldn't see why I can't. Why do you ask?"

"I think we should get dinner together. Let's get something to eat, ok? Ok." Ralathor steers the ship in another direction, and the two make way for a diner where they eat outside sitting on a curb.

And Ralathor, during their meal, scoots closer to Aukesh. "I... think you'd be great at Crucible. Maybe we could do a Crimson Days match together when the time comes."

"I have heard of this Crucible," says Aukesh. "I am unfamiliar with it, but no less I would love to try."

"I'd love to try you." Ralathor freezes. "Shit. Forget I said anything. Forget—"

Aukesh pulls Ralathor into himself, and holds the Titan in place. "Sword Logic brings together warriors who share a common goal. Though we yield to none and hold our power as our own, when paired with that of another, our overall strength grows. I am stronger with you. You are stronger with me. I believe this is what your kind calls 'love'. When two are willing to slaughter and die for one another."

"Uhh... sort of. You've got the rough idea at least."

"Then I hope to learn all of it. With you." Aukesh smiles, and kisses Ralathor's hair.

[uupiic]

You know WHAT?

In honour of a certain keyboard player apparently being a tosser about fan fiction again, here’s a list of my favourite ones (that I wrote)

:)

The One That Got Away - with Angus I, Proletius, Hoots, and Iona - Reverse!AU

Of knights, barbarians, unicorns, and spilled milk - Hoots and Proletius - Reverse!AU

The Sun - Ser Proletius POV, with Angus XIII; Hoots and Ralathor make appearances

Responsibility - Ralathor and Zargothrax

Something, something Auchtermuchty again - Dreadlord Proletius, Zargothrax, and Zachary (OC)

The Dark Lord of Dundee - Ralathor and Zargothrax; Ralathor stans are NOT gonna have a good time :’(

The Void Demands Chicken - Zargothrax and Kor-Virliath

OUTRAGEOUS! - Ralathor and Zargothrax

A Leafy Problem - Zargothrax; Ralathor makes an appearance whether he would have liked to or not :’)

*unfortunately, all of them are under the archive lock due to the AI being on the loose on AO3, but an account is literally one e-mail, or a friend who can give you an invite, away. This is no longer the case. Also tumblr gave me the old edit page to edit this. Tower of playing cards ass site lol :’) (invitations can STILL be accessed and distributed from the user profile, look for a big button that says ‘’Invitations’’ on it. I’m mentioning this because I have NOT seen anyone mention their actual location on all those ‘’get an account’’ posts)

[heroesofdundee]

Be careful who you call ugly in middle school

[blastedking]

State of the Kingdome - 11. December 2021

Comic

In a bit of great news for the start, Universe: Law of Fire III - Kings and Legends is done. It will start as scheduled right after Starheart. (Cover is on the 7th of January, First page the week after naturally) 🌟

Kings and Legends continues almost right after Starheart story-wise - this time, last but not least, the focus is on Angus.

It is 55 pages long - which is actually the longest comic I've ever finished at once I think. And yet there was so much I had to cut out. The supporting cast is Noora Louhimo from Battle Beast - but originally I wanted a whole lot more in it. In the end though, even she doesn't get as much screen time as I would have liked due to the appearance of SOMEONE else who is stealing the show. xD (okay it's not that much of a mystery at this point... I spoilered that one a long time ago.)

Story

As a bit of a surprise to everyone including myself I actually managed to get something done for Christmas - it's just a short "slice-of-life" thing, which I originally started last year but had no time for then.

It's called Leitnacht and is based on the Christmas pictures I posted last year. Just something quick and more light-hearted and fun (for the most part. Mixed with some horror elements and the lingering mental trauma because of course) with the Powerwolf guys and a Sabaton cameo. Also, a cover that took WAY too much time which is why there will be only that one for three chapters.

"Leitnach" will be starting next week on the 18th, uploaded as usual on AO3 and a link will be posted here.

After Leitnacht is done follows Parts and Fragments, (the Ralathor has a terrible day story) will come as planned. (A week later due to Leitnacht but still January 15).

However, after that, there will be another break again because ULFIII took a lot longer than planned. Also Return to Darkness (which is the story that follows narrative-wise directly after PaF) is still not done. And given that I have to focus on School now extensively, it won't and can't be done till my current situation changes (see the Personal Section down below).

Art

The queue is currently good till about Mai next year so no changes on that front. There are a couple of very pretty pieces coming up I'm really looking forward to sharing with you! ❤️ While I will take a bit of a hiatus, focusing on school, nobody should notice xD

I will expand the reblog days with the start of next year - one day for 2020 art, one for 2021 art and one for old stories. Everything will be tagged accordingly if you don't want to see the old stuff again.

Friday stays for the comic, Saturday for new Stories and Sunday for new art.

Personal

Job and School have been pretty stressful in the last months - I didn't get much done. Actually, I haven't really gotten around to do anything besides work, school and drawing and even then the latter two are suffering. Haven't even read anything in months now, all my other hobbies are pretty much dead in the water too, which isn't great… But, no way around that. This is the last stretch of having to manage school, work and hobbies - the last 4-5 months. So it's gonna get better soon enough.

I have the final exam in May and Project Presentation in June/July. The latter ain't so wild, May is basically the time when I can breathe again.

Looking forward to that.

👑

[wearerandomlyyours]

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny,

Evil will rise

And of the legendary warriors,

None will survive

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny,

Evil will rise.

To defeat the power of the sorcerer,

Great sacrifice.

I find it kind of heartbreaking that Anstruther's dark prophecy states that all the legends involved in the final battle (on both sides) will not survive, but it doesn't specify anyone by Angus actually dying.

Zargothrax dissolved into liquid dust, yes, and Dreadlord Proletius was destroyed (you can't technically kill a hologram, but I digress), but Ralathor, Hootsman, and Angus all die as well. Angus sacrifices himself to the fires of Schiehallion, of course, but Hoots and Ralathor the Hermit both died on Earth when Hootsman detonated his neutron heart. Angus is the only one who went through the terrorvortex intact.

Ralathor the Warrior is either a manifestation of the terror dimension or a regeneration a la Doctor Who, and Hootsman's 'essence' merged with the terror dimension and made him a god, but he still blew himself up, and died to be reborn as a deity. Ser Proletius can be rebuilt, and of course there's Zargothrax Clone Alpha-1, but...

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny,

Evil will rise

To defeat the power of the sorcerer,

The Prince of Fife must die.

All five of the legends died in the war.

Angus is just the only one who can't come back.

[chaotic-neutral-wizard]

What if... Zargothrax had ascendend into godhood?

An alternative time line where Hootsman never made it to the battle field and never give Angus the help he needs to stop the evil wizard.

Darkness covers the earth and Zargothrax is unstoppable but doesn't kill Ralathor or Angus, he just leaves them live to see them fall into despair and hopelessness as his reign of terror expands over the solar system.

Years pass and Hootsman is no where to be found, slowly Angus stops believing that hoots might be out there somewhere as he becomes less of the determinated and cheerful person he was to even question what he fights for, there's no kingdom to save anymore, there's no justice anymore.

While Ralathor still has some hope on restoring balance, he just knows things that Angus doesn't and so keeps focus on what to do, he still tries to find a way to communicate with Hootsman.

.

.

Proliteous is brought back to live with some necromancy shenanigans...

[slimy-alien]

Still obsessing over Gloryhammer so I think it’s AU time....

Was thinking about what would have become of Angus if he hadn’t had a chance to jump into a volcano before the Knife Of Evil corrupted him. So uhh...Here’s tyrannical Emperor Angus.

He has declared himself as Emperor of space Dundee and has managed to enslave most of the galaxy at this point. He will gladly bludgeon rebels and all who oppose him with his hammer. Those who are set upon by his minions and goons are the lucky ones. He has finally imprisoned the Hootsman (with a lot of planning, trickery and great difficulty) in order to leech off of his nuclear heart as part of his plan to take over the multiverse. He is also no longer a friend to the unicorns and enslaves them for gruelling labour whilst also harvesting their horns for their magic. He probably also eats unicorn steaks now. Despicable. Ralathor, the only remaining member of the Hootsforce gang able to do anything, has to both try and free the unicorns and also rescue Hootsman; as he is still not strong enough to defeat Angus in battle by himself, and only a godlike dude like Hoots is gonna stand a chance at this point...and Angus has put a hefty bounty on his head.

On top of all that stress, Ralathor has also got to think about trying to find a cure for Angus, and whether it even exists.... The Hammer of Glory is either the real one, which he's managed to corrupt with some kind of dark edgelord power, or it's a bootleg evil copy he's created with some of the harvested unicorn horns because he can no longer wield the original (as he is no longer "pure of heart") and he keeps the original under (dark magical) lock and key, as anyone who wields it would probably be able to tear him a new one.

Poor Angus.

(He also wears a tiara instead of a crown because even though he's evil he's still fabulous.)

[thedarkawakening]

Intro - Necrons - Atredies Dynasty

Force overview (with names)

HQ

Overlord (Skeith) – Warlord

Technomancer (Ralathor)

Plasmancer (Zargothrax)

 Troops

10x Warriors (the Dark Omen)

10x Warriors (Deathbringers)

10x Warriors (the Silver Tide)

 Elites

3x Skorpekh destroyers (Reapers of Flesh)

 Heavy Support

1x Domstalker (Bringer of the Black Smoke)

 Fast attack

3x Scarab Swarms

 Intro story

 In the many years since hibernation, my tomb world lay undisturbed until the Great Illuminor began his machinations and upstart lesser races attempted to interfere.  In their folly, their trespass began awakening my forces.  As thanks, I decreed that they be purged first, that they may not have to watch their comrades fall before them in our glorious reclamation.

 The scarabs were released first, to gain some measure of their strength.  They suffered some casualties, but as insolent children often do, celebrated too soon when we were only toying with them. Three phalanxes of my most loyal warriors were then deployed, the first described by them as a dark omen of what was to come.  They were driven back by a rain of gauss fire until the remaining phalanxes, already in wait brought death upon them as surely as the tide erodes the rock beneath.

 They countered this assault with primitive machines, which afforded them a display of Ralathor’s craft. His latest creation, the Doomstalker emerged from the catacombs below and fired upon them with it’s blaster, reducing them to nought but an acrid, black smoke.

 By this point their wiser leaders had retreated to a place of relative safety, or so they thought, but I unleashed Skorpekh destroyers upon them.  These reapers of flesh are afflicted by the terrible destroyer curse, turning them into mindless savages, contemptuous of the codes of combat, but not without their uses.  These horrors cleaved into the remaining forces, a stark warning that we were ready to retake the empires of the Necrontyr.

[smolsleepyfox]

Not the brightest candle on the cake

@tellmeoflegends gave me an idea and I just had to type it up. We all agree Angus McYeet’s idea with the volcano was not very good - lucky for him, others came to the same conclusion.

And lo, Zargothrax was finally defeated. But in the epic final struggle with the dark sorcerer, the valiant hero Angus McFife realised he had been impaled by the Knife of Evil. As he watched the lifeless corpse of Zargothrax dissolve into liquid dust, Angus knew that soon he himself would be corrupted by the dark power of that cursed blade. And so he resolved that he must make the final sacrifice for the Glory of Dundee... he would end his own life by descending into the raging volcanic fires of Schiehallion!

It was hot, so awfully hot. His armor did nothing to cool him down, on the contrary. The metal seemed to sear his skin even through the fabric beneath. His hammer, too, was getting too hot to bear. Angus coughed, the air too stuffed, flowing like toxic liquid through his lungs.

It probably didn’t matter anymore. His destiny has already been written, long before he was born. He would die here, and after him, there would be peace.

A cramp ran through him, felling him where he stood. Agony burned through his chest as he coughed, every movement worsening the tearing sensation. The knife still stuck in its place, lodged between two armor plates, and ribs. Not a lethal wound, for sure. But in this case, all the same. Angus fought himself back on his feet by pure force of stubbornness. He was a McFife after all. The hammer was getting hotter and hotter, but he could still hold it for a little while longer, distracting himself from the pain in his chest that wanted to paralyse him. The ledge was right there. Only a few feet.

The mountain rumbled, as if daring him to fulfil his duty, a hungry beast ready to devour him. The shaking was too much. Angus dropped the hammer, his palm red, skin burned to a dry, tense foil, ready to split. He groaned, trying to suppress a cough, eyes set on the ledge. The dreadful knife would fall with him, and rightfully so. Zargothrax would lose, once and for all. The glow of the lava was blinding, the toxic fumes taking his breath. Angus closed his eyes. He didn’t need to see his destiny to find it.

He fell.

Something took hold of his collar, dragging him backwards so abruptly his neck cracked. The tremor let the knife dig its evil teeth deeper into his chest, but his scream was only a faint gasp. The unseen force dragged him backwards, back over the ledge. Zargothrax’ minions! They had to wait for Angus to be turned by the power of the cursed blade! He tried to break free, thrashing and pulling with all the strength he possessed, to no avail. The battle and the hostile environment had weakened him too much. But that did not mean he gave in.

„Let go, wretched fiend,“ he rasped, unable to conjure more than a dry cough. With his feet on hard ground again, he could fight back. He turned, his armor burning into his skin, and tried to grab whoever was holding him back. He didn‘t like the prospect of taking someone along, but he would, if it was necessary. He was running out of time, soon the knife would overtake him-

A hand grabbed his throat, dragging him back, towards the exit, away from the ledge. Angus tried to lessen the grip around his neck, but the fingers were like steel claws. He dug his fingers into the grip, desperately trying to come loose.

„Will you hold still, you thrice–damned, thoughtless fool!“

Angus froze. Looking up, he met the grey eyes of Ralathor, former hermit, now commander of the DSS Hootsforce. He’d lost his hat at some point, the ponytail more or less disbanded, his hair a tangled mess, soiled with soot and the gods knew what else, streaks of dirt and sweat on his face. And he looked very, very angry. Angus was too stunned to fight back when the hermit dragged him out of the volcano, with a strength much greater than his slim body let on. Outside, the air was cool, despite the smoke hanging over the battlefield.

„You got him?“ „Obviously.“ Angus wanted to fight back, to argue, but he was getting weaker and weaker. Any time now the blade would break his will, subdue him to its dark powers- „Hold him down.“ Strange, the hermit had always been stern, but not this rude-

Angus shrieked when the blade was pulled out in one swift motion. His chest exploded in pain, taking his breath. Black spots danced in front of his eyes. When his vision returned, he looked into two faces: one was the hermit’s, though a hermit so furious Angus did not WANT to look at him for too long. The other one was the Hootsman‘s who seemed more amused by the entire ordeal than anything else.

„I need to go,“ Angus rasped. He tried to get up, just to have the barbarian‘s big hand on his shoulder pull him back. They’d opened his armor and Ralathor was busy pressing a cloth on the wound, his jaw clenched so tightly he had gone entirely white.

„Don’t worry kid, we’ll take it from here,“ the Hootsman assured him. „No!“ Angus managed to get up, pushing Ralathor back. „In a moment, I’ll be corrupted. I need to end this.“ He managed to slip from the barbarian‘s grasp, staggering to his feet. The entrance was right there. He’d make it. It was his duty. And if he had to physically fight his way there, he would, not even Ralathor would stop him, no matter how hard he tried to hold him down-

„WILL YOU HOLD STILL ALREADY?!“ Stars exploded in front of his eyes. Angus held still. His head was spinning and it took nearly a minute until the numbness in his face turned into actual pain. What happened? „Now that was not necessary-” „NOT NECESSARY?! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS NOT NECESSARY??? THIS GODSDAMNED MORON THROWING HIMSELF INTO A VOLCANO THAT‘S WHAT‘S NOT NECESSARY!“ Angus blinked tears from his eyes, the left side of his face tingling, to meet the gaze of a positively FUMING submarine commander. „Just to be clear, if you as much as twitch again I will personally tie you up and drag you back to my ship like the absolute IDIOT you are, get it?“ Angus opened his mouth to protest, but the Hootsman gave him a warning glance. „But the Knife-“ „Oh spare me with the fucking Knife!“, Ralathor moaned. He wrapped a bandage around Angus‘ wound, soaked in something that burned worse than the fires of the volcano. „If you’d come and talked to me I could have told you I can reverse the spell before it gets you! I’m a godsdamned sorcerer, for fuck‘s sake!“ „You’re-“ Shock numbed the prince’s tongue. He’d suspected, yes, but-

Ralathor wasn’t listening. „But no, instead of acting like you have even a shred of COMMON FUCKING SENSE, you decided your best course of action was to THROW YOURSELF INTO A FUCKING VOLCANO! I‘m surprised you made it here alive at all at this rate! Angus the first was already not the brightest candle on the cake, but YOU, you really take the cake for WORST JUDGEMENT IN HISTORY.“ Ralathor took a few deep breaths to collect himself. Even the Hootsman was quiet, stunned at the outburst.

„I’m sorry,“ Angus squeaked. He felt like a kid again, being reprimanded by his father for doing something thoughtless. That had happened a lot in his life.

„Let’s get him out of here,“ Ralathor growled. He got up, dusting off his pants, and picked up the Knife, lying uselessly on the floor. „I’ll get rid of this and get the hammer. Bring him to the ship.“

„Okay.“ Even the Hootsman knew better than to argue with Ralathor when he was in such a mood. The barbarian picked Angus up like he was no heavier than a doll, carrying him away from the volcano. They left the stone path behind in time to escape the burst of lightning, as they did with the infuriated screams and curses. Angus closed his eyes, giving in to his exhaustion, and prayed, prayed to the gods - the Hootsman included - that when he woke, Ralathor would have regained his composure.

Because otherwise, he may just have preferred the raging volcanic fires of Schiehallion.

[borealopelta]

🌹

With a twist and a sickening, squishy sound, the God’s heart ceased its cursed beating, its remains left bleeding, twitching in the cosmic darkness between the planes of reality. Ralathor felt blood in his mouth and spat it out, drawing his magic back to himself, slowly pulling himself upright.

✨

[gaelmartel]

Lore of the Terrorvortex

This was grabbed off of AZLyrics.com (and when the site decides not to crash upon opening the ninth lyrics -- apparently accessing one too many times on a single IP locks the site up, so mobile is your best bet). I’m not sure as to canonicity of this lore, since I do not have the CD booklet that came with Legends from Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex, so take this with a grain of salt. A big thank you to the fine fellows of Gloryhammer for creating their fantastic lore!

Song names are included to put the lore into perspective. This is for all of the fanfic writers out there who want to have a modicum of canonical adherence to Gloryhammer (and/or extra stuff for their AU).

Into the Terrorvortex of Kor-Virliath

And lo, Planet Earth had been destroyed by the Hootsman, with an explosion so powerful it ripped a hole in the very fabric of spacetime. And yet, Zargothrax was still not defeated, for he managed to use his last shreds of power to escape through the dimensional rift. Vowing to defeat the evil sorcerer, Angus McFife XIII followed him into the portal, with no idea where it might lead. The wormhole was a truly terrifying plane of non-existence. Cosmic chaos swirled around the two eternal foes as they descended through space and time. Somehow, they could feel the presence of a third being within the portal... an entity of unimaginable power. But before Angus could ascertain the nature of this powerful force, he was thrust out of the wormhole... and Zargothrax was nowhere to be seen. Angus materialized in a place that seemed familiar... yet strangely alien. This was the Kingdom of Fife, perhaps from a time in the days of old. But it was somehow... different. The sky burned with a crimson fire, and the stench of goblin blood was thick in the air. Before him, where the Citadel of Dundee should be, stood a massive and terrible tower, a grand fortress of evil carved out of the very living rock. And atop this tower was a colossal statue of his arch nemesis... Zargothrax, the Dark Sorcerer of Auchtermuchty!

The Siege of Dunkeld 

The wormhole had transported Angus and Zargothrax to an alternate dimension! And somehow, Zargothrax had materialized at an earlier point in time, letting him conquer the entire Kingdom of Fife with nothing to stand in his way. With his Hammer of Glory unable to channel the powers of this universe, Angus could not defeat the evil wizard in combat, and was forced to retreat from the battle. Even with their mysterious battle-prayers to The Hootsman, the resistance armies had no chance. From a hiding place in the hills above Dunkeld, he watched in horror as Zargothrax's army slaughtered the inhabitants of the city, the final holdout against the forces of evil. Angus could not believe his eyes when he realized who was commanding the armies of chaos... it was none other than Ser Proletius, the Grand Master of the Templar Knights of Crail! What terrible enchantment had led the alternate-universe version of this noble warrior to fight on the side of Zargothrax?! 

Masters of the Galaxy 

The Knife of Evil, thought Angus. One of the three powerful relics of the Ancient Starlords... the other two of course being the Hammer of Glory and the Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem. As he mused on the cruel fate of his once-ally Proletius, a shadowy figure approached him. If you seek to restore the Kingdom of Fife, whispered the mysterious figure, head north to the Land of Unicorns... you will find friends there. May the Hoots be with you. And with that, the figure disappeared. This is truly a strange universe, Angus said to himself as he took the shadowy denizen's advice and headed north to Achnasheen. The armies of justice in Dunkeld, and now this messenger... all worshipping the Hootsman as a God. But that can't be... he died in the Neutronic Transnova detonation of Earth, surely?

The Land of Unicorns 

Angus had finally made it to the secret base of the resistance army, hidden in the valley of Achnasheen in the Land of Unicorns. And he was surprised to find out the identity of the resistance leader... it was Ralathor, the Mysterious Hermit of Cowdenbeath! Ralathor?! he exclaimed. How did you get to this universe? That's not important right now, muttered Ralathor. What is important, is that you find a way to defeat Zargothrax. And I believe I know how to repair your hammer. Ralathor explained that the Hammer of Glory did not work in this dimension, as it needs to be charged with solar energy from a star in this universe. And the only way to do that, was to fly into space, and soar through the corona of the sun. But that's impossible! despaired Angus. Spaceships haven't been invented in this reality, there's no way for me to get to space. Not necessarily, replied Ralathor. There is a way...

Power of The Laser Dragon Fire

Heeding the words of Ralathor, Angus McFife XIII once again set out from the shores of Loch a' Chroisg on a perilous quest into the frozen lands of Caithness, in search of a mysterious ancient artifact of power... the Legendary Enchanted Jetpack. His quest would be perilous, and he would have to face many foes if he was to be successful. But he would quest nonetheless, for the Eternal Glory of Dundee!

Legendary Enchanted Jetpack

The quest had been victorious! With the power of the Legendary Enchanted Jetpack now at his disposal, Angus blasted off into space, thrusting upwards with incredible velocity, wielding the Hammer of Glory in his armor clad hands. His destination... the sun.

Gloryhammer

On the wings of his jetpack, with the newly invigorated power of the Hammer of Glory in his hands, Angus returned to the resistance base in the Land of Unicorns to prepare for the final assault on the evil sorcerer. Ralathor stood waiting for his arrival. It is time! bellowed Ralathor. Now that Angus McFife wields the power to defeat Zargothrax, we must strike! HOOTS FORCE, ASSEMBLE! Suddenly the waters of Loch a' Chroisg began to stir violently, and from the depths rose a great flying nuclear submarine, with the name DSS HOOTSFORCE' emblazoned on the side. This was the secret weapon of the resistance army! And with a glorious battle cry, the forces of justice set course to the Battlefield of Cowdenbeath, for the final battle against Zargothrax.

Hootsforce

Soon the epic battle would be fight. As Angus flew across the Highlands, towards his final destiny on the battlefields of Cowdenbeath, he thought back on the many battles he had seen in his life. Fighting goblins on the moon... destroying the Earth to save the galaxy... slaying undead unicorns in the streets of Strathmiglo... it was all leading up to this moment the one final battle to defeat Zargothrax for all time.

Battle for Eternity

Meanwhile, in the dread fortress of Dundee, the evil emperor Zargothrax was plotting his final nefarious act. He had discovered ancient scrolls of colossal power in the vast libraries of the Dundonian citadel, telling of the means by which he could gain unimaginable power. At the upcoming solar conjunction, by channeling the power of the Knife of Evil through an arcane incantation, he would transcend his mortal coil, and become an immortal god of the multiverse!

Fires of Ancient Cosmic Destiny

Even though Ser Proletius and his Deathknights of Crail had been defeated, the power of Zargothrax was still growing exponentially! It seemed now that even with the renewed power of the Hammer of Glory, the forces of justice would not be able to defeat him. Suddenly, when all seemed lost, a flash of holy light lit up the entire sky, and a being of unimaginable power descended from the heavens. It was the Hootsman! Angus realized he was the mysterious third entity he had encountered in the wormhole! The force of the detonation from his nuclear heart had not killed the Hootsman... it had merged his essence with the very fabric of reality in the terrorvortex, and he had transformed into a God! He had arrived into this reality long before the evil wizard... for thousands of years now he had looked down from the heavens upon the people of this dimension, and they had worshipped him. He had watched the arrival of Zargothrax and witnessed his bloody conquest across the land. He had seen as Angus McFife arrived through the portal and fought bravely in an attempt to save the kingdom. And now when all seemed lost... he himself would descend from the firmament and bring The Justice of Hoots to Earth.

[uupiic]

So, about that Reverse!AU, if you will...

With Ralathor out of the picture for obvious reasons, and with dark!Angus being... well... dark. Who do you think has to put up with Hoots most of the time? I suspect that keeping an eye on him, regardless of what the AU might be, is probably a full-time job, if only to keep him out of the castle’s mead supplies. Somehow. IDK how you keep a barbarian king out of your mead supplies. You probably just walk away and pretend you saw nothing. I am not saying somebody is occasionally feeling sorry for ever becoming a Knight of Crail, but... somebody is probably feeling sorry for ever becoming a Knight of Crail.

Also, does dark!Angus have more than two braincells, or does such a drastic change in the universes not affect his ability to be... well... an Angus?

[spackeets-written-madness]

The Assult on Triton

The Fortress of Triton holds the frozen Dark Lord, Zargothrax and the Forces of Chaos wish to free him and will slaughter all that stands in their way. 

Also on Ao3!

Dissclaimers: Graphic depictions of violence, blood and violence, explicit language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was chaos outside the fortress of Triton, hoards of demons, zombies, goblins and chaos wizards streamed forward, seemingly with no end to their forces. They assaulted the fortress of the Space Knights of Crail relentlessly, trying their damndest to get inside and kill the ones that dare stand against them. All kinds of demons swarmed with the goblins and wizards: faecal demons (that the Space Knights were more used to dealing with), imps, siege demons, demon knights, and flying demons. This was a larger-scale invasion than any invasion before and it was gruelling and bloody. The Knights already had to fall back to the fortress and hold it after losing the fields.

A large muted orange demon grotesquely built with massive biceps and rolls of fat thundered into view of the gates, snorted air out of its large nostrils and let out a roar that echoed through the air, shaking the fortified walls. It then tilted its massive horns atop an armoured head down and charged towards the door. With each large step towards the fortress’s doors, the demon shook the ground and crushed oblivious faecal demons under hoof and rammed its large horns into the door.

The door shuddered as the large demon hit it, blowing some of the Space Knights back from the force of the impact, throwing them into the dirt. The door miraculously held, but the cracks forming on it revealed that it won’t hold for long.

“Get up! Get up and reinforce that door! The forces of Chaos must not break through!” Sir Regulon yelled, running into the courtyard from the stairs. He blasted a flying demon with his laser gun, finishing it off with his sword when it fell down.

The Knights that were thrown back from the impact got up as quickly as they could with some help from their peers and immediately yelled out orders for something more to reinforce the gates. Their voices joined the chaos of battle outside.

The large bulbous behemoth that rammed into the doors, got up, huffed in annoyance that it didn’t break through, began to walk back to where it originally was to try again. The swarms of goblins, zombies, other demons and wizards moved around the large demon as it lumbered past. It stopped and turned around, let out another thunderous roar into the sky and charged, crushing some more oblivious faecal demons and astral zombies underneath it’s massively hoofed and muscular legs as it ran into the door again.

The door cracked more but did not shatter nor budge much to the displeasure of the massive demon. It got up again looking at the door with its hands on its large hips like a disappointed mother that caught her kid drawing on the walls. It studied the door critically trying to think of the best way to get it open. The massive horned demon lifted a hand off its hip and knocked twice, opened its jaw to rows of sharp teeth and spoke in a guttural and deep voice, “Your pizza order’s here,” it said with an amused undertone. All it got for its trouble was having hot oil dumped on its head which it took in stride. “How rude…” it muttered.

A stray spell hit the demon on its flank near its thick and armoured tail, fat and muscle rippling as the demon jumped in surprise. After it had landed with a loud crash, loose dirt and pebbles getting thrown up from its surprise it swung its head and its four eyes independently sought out who the hell shot him in the ass. “IDIOT SPELL CASTERS! WATCH WHERE YOU FIRE! NOW GET INTO THAT FORTRESS, WE MUST FREE THE DARK LORD!” it roared in the general direction of the chaos wizards that it had picked up on the way here.

“YES SIR, DEMON COMMANDER ETH’TELAK!” came the combined answer along with a salute. One of the chaos wizards tried very hard not to piss himself, very glad that he didn’t face the main brunt of the commander’s wrath for that loose spell.

Eth’telak then faced the door again, putting a clawed finger to his chin in thought as the chaos happened around him, spells thundered against the walls. The demon felt another dumping of hot oil over his head and shoulders. He looked up at the ones that poured oil on him. “Stop that! You’re merely giving me a nice shower!” he yelled at the humans who shirked away from his gaze. He then paused looking up, he took two steps backwards and jumped upwards, landed his weight on the top of the wall which sent cracks all throughout the stonework. He then got over on the other side of the wall, landing heavily on all fours, shaking the ground with his impact and landing on several knights.

Sir Regulon stopped in his tracks as this massive demon came over the wall, nearly the size the door that’s meant to be keeping these hellish bastards out. “Hey, demon!” he called out, taking aim with his laser blaster.

Eth’telak lifted his head to look at this human that dared to talk to him, lifting a scaled brow. “What, human?” he asked as he got up from the ground, picking up one of the knights in his four-fingered grip and crushing them.

“Did you eat your mother!?” Sir Regulon yelled at him, aiming to try and make the demon angry. He also took aim at the six-metre tall demon’s chest.

“Brother, actually, but nice try!” Eth’telak said in response just as he got shot in the chest by a laser blast. It merely gave him a small scratch on his thick hide.

Sir Regulon gazed on with horror that his shot did nothing aside from giving the demon a bit of a scratch.

Eth’telak looked at the small charr on his chest, then at the human, looking on with horror. “You hit the equivalent of your own fortress walls with a handgun, what do you think was going to happen?!” he roared in amazement at the idiocy of this human. He then quickly turned around to headbutt the large doors open to allow the other demons through.

The forces of chaos streamed through, engaging with the Space Knights of Crail as Eth’telak laughed. Sir Regulon fought as hard as he could, but even he was sure that the fortress was lost as Knights fell faster than demons. Chaos and Justice fought for different goals, one to guard a prison of what the other side wanted. 

Everyone then heard the sound of a laser something that arced through the forces of Chaos in the back, followed by another laser sweep.

Eth’telak turned towards the entrance after he heard the laser blasts go off, flicking his tail to try and wipe out some humans as he investigated. “That better not be who I fucking think it is,” he muttered to himself, looking out of the fortress and down the fields.

Down the fields was what could be described as a one-man army. A one-man army donned in armour made of wolf and more for comfort than form, wielding a massive battle-axe which he used to cut down demons, zombies, wizards and goblins alike, showering himself and the battle-field in blood. It was the Hootsman. The King of California and Hero of Unst, and in league with the other two heroes: Angus McFife XIII and Ralathor, Hermit of the Cowdenbeath.

The blonde-haired barbarian, dripping with blood (not his own) ripped through the forces of chaos with an axe, fist and boot. Hootsman throws his axe and it sails through the air and embeds itself in a pretty large demon, felling it. He was disarmed… So they thought, until he let out a warcry, grabbing the nearest goblin and ripping their head from their shoulders with another cry. He punches a few wizards, their necks snapping with the force as he strides up to the demon that had his axe embedded in its skull. He ripped it out and cut down several imps that tried to get the drop on him. He faced Eth’telak in the distance and lets out a warcry in a challenge.

Eth’telak let out a roar in annoyance. “Of course it’s the fucking Hootsman!” he spat. He turned to the forces slaughtering the Space Knights. “Free Zargothrax, free the Dark Lord! I’ll distract the Hootsman!” he ordered and was answered with a chorus of ‘yes, sir!’s. He faced where the barbarian was tearing through his forces, let out a thunderous roar, dropped to all fours unlike when he was charging at the gates and began to run towards the barbarian with his head and horns down.

The Hootsman was minding his own business cutting through the forces of chaos when he heard a thunderous gallop, looking up just in time to get swept by a horn and tossed into the air by one massive demon. While he went flying up he figured that this demon might be an important one and a good challenge. He grinned and twisted his body in the air, pointing his axe down as he fell towards the demon. The barbarian made a hole in the ground with his impact, but the demon was a lot more agile than he thought as the orange behemoth had dodged the warrior of Unst. He climbed out of the ditch and faced the demon that was standing on his hind legs and appeared to be waiting for him.

“I’ll give you credit, demon, you’re a lot more agile than I thought, now,” Hootsman points his axe at the demon in a threat and continues, “who are you?” He readied himself for the demon to charge again since it was no doubt a dumb brute.

The large demon grins. “I am Eth’telak, Demon Commander for the Dark Lord Zargothrax!” he introduced himself with a fist to chest salute in honour. After the salute, he dropped his arm and snorted out hot air from his nostrils.

That caught the King of California by surprise. “An intelligent demon?”

Eth’telak huffed. “Yes, someone has to command these idiots in the Lord’s absence!” he roared, crushing another faecal demon under-hoof that tried to get between the commander and his battle. The demon commander pulled a face and shook the bits of shit off his hoof. “Repulsive demons! Even for my tastes. I need a nice dragons blood bath after I pound you into the dirt, Hoostman, King of California!” he roared.

“I too will need a bath after this!” the Hootsman roared back, charging forward, lifting his axe to strike.

Eth’telak stepped away from the screaming human, swatting him with his tail, sending him flying and skidding along the ground. While the Hoostman was prone, the demon dropped down on all fours, rammed a horn in the ground charged forward, ripping up ground as he came straight at Hootsman, kicking up bits of rock and dirt.

Hootsman decided that it would be a good idea to dodge that attack and get out of the way. He did exactly that, leaping up and striking the demon’s armoured back, his axe glancing off harmlessly. Okay, don’t strike the armoured bits, got it. He tumbled off Eth’telak’s back and onto the dirt. He got back up and scowled.

Eth’telak laughed as he stood back up and began walking towards the barbarian, every step shaking the demon’s massive muscles and fat, his large tail acting as a counter-balance to his steps. The demon lifts his right hand and strikes Hootsman, or rather where he was as the much smaller figure dodged the strike and towards the demon, striking at his heel and successfully drawing black blood. The demon let out a roar of pain as he tried to step on Hootsman as the barbarian struck again and on the back of the demon commander’s knee which dropped the demon. Eth’telak grabbed the Hootsman and flung him away as he did his best to stand back up, hoisting up his massive frame.

The Hootsman engaged again, but Eth’telak was ready for him and they resumed battle, fighting hard to try and kill the other. Hootsman continued to cut into any weak point he could find (which happened to be his joints) on the demon while Eth’telak threw him around. The Hootsman tried to get past the Demon Commander to stop the return of Zargothrax while Eth’telak was trying to stall for time for his forces to free the sorcerer.

After several minutes more of battle, Hootsman had ended up on an exhausted Eth’telak’s chest and raised his axe to deliver the final blow when the demon started to laugh. The barbarian falters. “What’s so funny, demon? I defeated you!” he said, with triumph and raised his axe again.

Eth’telak continued to laugh and harder, lifting his hand he points towards the fortress of Triton. “You may have fought to defeat me...I fought to buy time for his return. And I won,” he said, watching the barbarian’s face fall, taking the opportunity and swatting him off his chest. The demon gets up, still laughing and held out a hand towards the demon army, several suddenly fell dead as bright orange energy was pulled from them and into Eth’telak, healing all of his injuries. The demon commander, as soon as he was healed, retreated towards the fortress of Triton and the pillar of dark energy swirling in a dark tornado from it into the sky.

“NO!” the Hootsman yelled as he tried to follow Eth’telak but unfortunately the demon was galloping on four legs and was far ahead of the barbarian of Unst cutting through the forces of Chaos again.

The King of California continued to cut through the forces as he tried to fight his way to the fortress. He should have tried to run for it. Maybe he can still make it? He punched a few goblins as he worked his way towards the fortress again. The Hootsman then launched some more sweeps of bladed energy, cutting through several demons, zombies and wizards alike.

Dark laughter that suddenly echoed through the sky and the fields told him that he would have no hope of trying to save the fortress and he turned around, fighting to retreat back to his allies and tell them about what just happened.

[blastedking]

Hello. I am a simple hermit who would like to bring a message.

I want to thank you for all your art this year, both written and non. I've been following your ULF comics ever since you posted that first page, and it's been an amazing journey to watch your style change and become cleaner and improve over time. Your stories that you've written have also most certainly been a highlight, I always looked forward to new chapters every Saturday. I especially loved Kilchoan and the lore you've woven into the background of your comics, it's definitely well thought-out and it has always been a pleasure to read.

The fact that you've been able to keep your comics and writings consistent has been really amazing. I saw your post about your finals grind and I know you'll be taking a break to really concentrate on your schooling (good luck with all of it, by the way), but the fact that you still have enough queued for weeks and months anyway? Absolutely incredible. I hope you are proud of yourself, especially because I definitely think you should be. You more than deserve it.

I can't wait to see what the new year brings for you and your artwork. But even if you do take pauses and breaks here and there, I won't mind at all. You've already made such wonderful and amazing work already and it'd be worth any wait necessary.

May your new year bring peace, hope, and happiness. I wish you well in all your endeavors, both artistic and not.

Oh, my dear hermit - what you doing, you bring tears to my eyes!

This is such a lovely and wonderful message and it truly makes me all goopy inside. In the good way obviously. Thank you SO much. This really means a lot to me and I do fail spectacularly to put these feelings into words right now because you just hit on so many points dear to me that I’m left flailing helplessly here. <3

(I have to say, the pointing out of Kilchoan really hits hard (in a good way again), because I was kinda nervous in a way about that one (not unsure mind you, I do like Kilchoan a lot too. xD). But all the other three stories before had more of a direct link to the ehh “official canon” - while Kilchoan really just is out there on its own, living its best life. While yes, Zargothrax is there, and Ralathor to an extent too, there are a lot of OCs in it too. And I know that kind of stuff isn’t always the most well-received.)

Following the whole thing from the very start - I have to say since I’ve been queuing up some of the old art - it’s been a ride. I’m very happy with where I am art wise right now, especially comparing it to my art two years ago. (Yes I will still stress again and again that it’s really a shaky comparison to make myself because I came into this fandom out of a year-long hiatus from drawing ANYTHING at all. I was very VERY rusty xD ). Thank you for sticking around!

But yes - I’ve been prepping for this finals grind for a while now (basically since the beginning of the year because I knew it was coming and I’d need the time) - the only thing I didn’t manage to finish for the life of me is “Return to Darkness” - Which I really, really wanted to have done by this point. But that thing has gotten longer than planned. I am at the finale now so - that’s good. But chances are good it will first drop after the finals are over. BUT that’s alright. x)

AGAIN

Thank you so so much! I hope you’ll have a fantastic new year! And if that year happens to have you stick around some more around these parts, I wouldn’t say no to that! ✨