#darius is at his funniest and sweetest when he's being the most impatient bitchy man on the isles

[crimeronan]

darius is the funniest fucking character in toh oh my GOD we just rewatched any sport in a storm & everything he does in the final act is. the best. darius like "yeah kids i don't wanna be here either 🙄" but not boTHERING TO TELL THESE TERRIFIED CHILDREN THAT HE ISN'T ACTUALLY KIDNAPPING THEM?? he's like "ugh you'll have to do better than that to best me" and then the kids trick him with an illusion and then immediately crash his Entire Ship and he's like. alright i'm still dropping them off at their school but i AM going to terrorize these little shits first HEY TINY PISSANTS DO YOU WANNA DIE TODAY. I AM CAPABLE OF ATROCITIES BEYOND YOUR WILDEST IMAGININGS LET'S GO

to be clear none of this is negative in the slightest i think darius is the perfect man he's so good. character of all TIME i could kiss him. there's no drama queen better suited to adopt hunter "every mistake i make will end the entire world" neuroticboy owlhouse. hunter's gonna burn a piece of toast and have a breakdown n darius is just gonna pinch the bridge of his nose like "yes this IS worthy of throwing you out of my home. how dare you get charred bread bits on my beautiful spotless counter" n hunter's gonna be like oh okay we're cool actually. i'm fine now. i'm trying again but i'm also dumping the whole bread bag onto the counter as we speak. you're welcome