#dannyxjdog

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Danny: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: *sucking on a popsicle*

Jordon: Heh, you practicing for when Danny gets here?

Jorel: *takes a huge bite out of the popsicle*

Jordon, concerned: Oh shit…

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: Heh, Danny sneezes like a girl.

Danny: How about I pound you like boy?

Danny: That didn’t come out right.

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: Hey Danny, can you give me the opposite of these words? Jorel: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Danny: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Danny: The fucking satisfaction.

[allhailhu4l]

Danny: Wow, Jorel, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Jorel: Danny, we literally slept together yesterday...? Danny: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands...!

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: You’re giving me a sticker?

Danny: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying: “me-wow!”

Jorel: I’m not a preschooler.

Danny: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Jorel: No! I earned this, back off!

[allhailhu4l]

Danny: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Jorel: That sounds like a dare to me.

Danny: Oh my god.

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: Awww, why don't you like cats, Danny? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love?

Danny: I don't know, Jorel, I just prefer to being able to breathe.

Jorel:

Danny: I'm ALLERGIC.

[allhailhu4l]

Danny: Thanks for opening my message and not responding, Jorel.

Jorel: All good bro, any time.

Danny: Fuck you.

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Danny: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Jorel: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?

Danny: Yes. Is it working?

[allhailhu4l]

*At a speed dating event*

Danny: Oh wow, people are really shallow.

Jorel: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?

Danny: *Checks pulse* Sorry, not yet.

Jorel, smiling: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: When I was married, you know what Danny often said to me?

Dylan: Please stop sleeping with other people?

[allhailhu4l]

Danny: Do you think sex without love is a sin?

Jorel: If it is, I’ll see you in hell.

[allhailhu4l]

Danny: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Jorel: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

[allhailhu4l]

Danny, about to leave the house: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay?

Jorel: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!

[allhailhu4l]

Jorel: Oh, Danny, we have a visitor!

Danny: Don't tell me it's Dylan.

Jorel: It's Dylan...