#daniel never bought their ''perfect marriage'' act

[knownoshamc]

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Six - To Wish Impossible Things

It was the sweetness of your skin

It was the hope of all we might have been

That fills me with the hope to wish

Impossible things

The Cure - To Wish Impossible Things

It was a sunny Saturday morning, filled with sunshine and countless aromas coming from restaurants and food stands. Victor and I were visiting the bookshops in the old part of town, browsing for childcare books. Later that afternoon, we would be attending Diane’s baby shower, and despite already having bought a designer diaper bag as a gift, my mom had recommended some books that she swore would be helpful for the mother to be. And as a good friend, I would make sure Diane would get them.

I wish I could say that I was taking Diane’s pregnancy like a normal healthy person, but I knew I wasn’t. Being recently married, and knowing that I could never give Victor the child I was sure he wanted soured my soul, and all I could feel was jealousy and regret. I was happy for her, I really was. But I couldn’t help but also feel angry at the fact that this moment would never come for me, and mostly because of a lousy choice. Ten minutes was all it took to change my life forever, I concluded, as I let myself dive into a painful memory.

It was late in the afternoon when I called my mother on that nightmarish day, and even later when I went home to pack and go to my mother’s house. I had decided to leave Daniel for good, because of the child that I thought I was carrying. I wouldn’t allow him to beat me again, to reduce me to the nothingness he wanted me to be. Despite feeling incredibly weak and hopeless, I would choose strength for someone who couldn’t have it on his own, my unborn child.

However, after everything was packed, just when I was getting ready to leave, something came to mind. Bad person or not, Daniel was still the father of my child. It wasn’t right to just leave and take his child with me, without a single word. I took a pad and a pen and started writing him a goodbye letter, where I stated my reasons for leaving, and how he was still welcome in our child’s life, provided that he would follow some rules. Those ten minutes I spent carefully choosing my words and writing them down, that show of respect and kindheartedness, was the sealer of my fate. As I was getting up from our dining table, leaving the letter behind, the lock on the door turned, signaling Daniel was home.

“Is this the one you were looking for?” Victor questioned, showing me a book. I blinked at it, jarred with the sudden jump to present reality. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, that’s the one I couldn’t find.” I smiled weakly at my worried husband. “Come, let’s pay for it, I want to go get lunch.”

“Where do you want to have lunch?” Victor held my hand as we left the bookstore. “We could get some takeout sushi at that place you like.”

“You don’t care for sushi.” I smiled at him. “We can cook at home or take something else instead.”

“Alright.” Victor wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Takeout sushi it is.” He gave me a sweet look.

It was evident that Victor knew what was going on with me, and since he was never good at talking about feelings, he tried to help me the way he knew how, by acts of service. His way to show me he loved me was to always make sure I was taken care of, and pampered in ways I never deemed possible. That entailed eating sushi he didn’t really care about, taking a morning stroll through stores when he could be playing tennis, and going to baby showers when he could just make an excuse and spend his afternoon watching one of his old movies or reading.

Back at home, we happily ate our sushi, Victor unusually doing most of the talking, trying to distract me. I listened to him intently, but couldn’t find any words to say. We hadn’t gone to the baby shower yet, and I was already exhausted.

“We don’t need to go if you don’t want to.” He broke through our shared pretense that everything was fine. “I can call Goldman right away and make an excuse.”

“I want to go.” I lied. “This is important to Diane, she wants me there.”

“Andy…”

“Will you clean up the table while I go wrap the books?” I changed the subject. “Diane will get mad if we show up late.”

I went to the office, looking for the gift bag I had bought for the books. As I was wrapping them in pink satin paper, one of them fell on the floor, open. It showed the picture of a mother breastfeeding her baby. I picked the book up, noticing the article about the benefits of breastfeeding and naming some curiosities about it, like, how the taste of the milk would change according to what the mother eats, which helps the baby starting to get acquainted to new flavors, even before getting other foods. Or how the milk adapts to the needs of the infant, some studies indicating that the milk carries more antibodies and white blood cells if the baby is sick, and more serotonin by the end of the day, to help the baby sleep better.

I was marveled at how a woman’s body was so perfectly designed to take care of a baby, chemistry and hormones and instinct creating the perfect caretaker, so all the baby’s needs are met. Being a mother, being able to create and nurture life was one of the things I liked the most about being a woman. It was miraculous. I was so distracted reading that book, venturing in all the facts that composed motherhood, that I didn’t even notice Victor leaning on the doorframe, watching me.

“Are you ready?” He was watching me closely, his gaze sweet and with a hint of worry.

I immediately closed the book, wrapping it quickly before inserting it in the gift bag.

“Yes, let’s go.” I grabbed the gift bag, bolting to the door.

Our trip to Goldman’s house was silent, Victor and I both lost in thought. When he finished parking the car, he turned to me.

“We don’t have to stay here all afternoon.” He offered, taking my hand. “I can give some excuse so we leave early.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind.” I shrugged. I didn’t want to be that petty person who couldn’t be happy for her friend because she couldn’t have kids. And I didn’t want people to worry about me. I was a full-grown woman, I would be fine. Sometimes some things hurt, and that’s life. I just had to toughen up.

Goldman and Diane’s house was a big cloud of pink, with pink balloons, and diapers, and storks everywhere. The house was already full of people when we arrived, some from LFG, some being Diane’s and Goldman’s family members. Diane approached me with a big smile, her baby bump bigger than it was last time I saw her, a few weeks ago.

“Our favorite couple!” She hugged us both, Goldman coming right after to greet us. “Welcome! Make yourselves at home, we have plenty of food! Henry, get our CEO a drink! Andy, do you want anything?”

“Wanting to get me drunk already? Isn’t that how you made that child?” I teased, showing her my big bag with my gifts. “Here. To spoil the mom-to-be.”

“Thank you so much! It means so much to me that you guys are here!” Diane gave me a tight hug. And it looked like someone else wanted to join the party.

“I think Penny kicked me!” I smiled, charmed with her belly. “Can I touch it?”

“Of course!” Diane smiled. “She’s been excited all day, it’s like she knows there will be a party!”

“Or maybe it’s because of all the sugar you’ve been having.” Goldman offered.

I touched Diane’s pregnant belly with careful hands. Inside, there was a human being, sweet Penny, waiting to be big enough to come to this world. And she was indeed excited, jumping inside the womb, trying to poke my hands.

My husband was by my side, holding my waist lovingly, trained eyes on my hands, smiling sweetly. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was picturing that my hands were his, and Diane’s pregnant belly was mine. I felt tears coming, so I swiftly brushed the thought aside. The doorbell rang, diverting the attention from me, Diane busying herself with other guests.

“There are pink margaritas in the kitchen. Go help yourselves.”

As expected, the entire afternoon was baby-themed, from diaper changing races and sharing labor stories to the opening of gifts, and bestowing of best wishes to unborn Penny. Although I did try to have fun and relax, each activity only reminded me of what I couldn’t have, and I began to feel increasingly worse about myself. I was a bottomless pit of sadness and self-loathing: not only was I miserable because all those things were impossible for me, I felt bad for feeling that way, and not being able to fully enjoy this very important moment in my friends lives. I was a shitty person, and probably deserved everything bad that came my way.

To make matters worse, I could feel my husband’s eyes on the back of my neck, searching for any sign of distress on my part, ready to jump and act if necessary. Although I loved him to pieces for that, I was growing a little uneasy with it. If Victor was protective before, the marriage just magnified it even more. There was a part of him that was sweeter, more relaxed and open, but there was also another part of him that was borderline domineering, always wanting to know where I was, always scared to leave me to my own devices. And this time, although I knew I could count on him, although I knew he would always stand by me, I wanted to be left alone, and keep this ugliness of mine just to myself.

But this was Victor, and he was one of the most observant people I had ever met, especially if he was worried about something. After a while, he was by my side, checking up on me.

“Would you like to leave?” His hand rested lovingly on my shoulder.

I have to admit having him care for me felt good. Yes, I was admittedly a hypocrite.

I nodded, too emotionally tired to talk. Victor took my hand, pulling me from my seat.

“We should get going.” Victor apologized to Diane. “My aunt had a situation at the ranch, she needs our help.”

Despite what I predicted, knowing Diane Goldman AKA Momzilla, in less than five minutes and with only a few sentences, we were in the car, driving home. After a moment, Victor broke the silence.

“I don’t understand the need to share labor stories.” He commented, disgusted. “If anything, those should be cautionary tales, not things to share willingly at a party. I do not need to know how many stitches one can get in her… You know.” He shuddered.

Even with a heavy heart, I had to laugh at his honesty.

“That older woman was saying she broke two of her husband’s fingers while he was holding her hand.” He continued. “Everybody laughed. How on earth is that funny?”

“Imagine the birth announcement: Johnny Boy was born on day x, weighting y kilograms. Mother and baby are ok, father is severely injured.” I joked, making us both laugh.

“The whole thing was a parade of reasons not to have a baby.” Victor declared, looking shocked. “Parents not being able to have a full night’s sleep for years . Clothes being belched and puked on, poop that goes to the baby’s neck, babies peeing and spitting on their parents. How is that cute?”

“Cholics, sudden fevers, tantrums, teething.” I continued. “I remember my mother telling me that Josh and Cristina were on the verge of insanity at one point.”

“The labor itself is a mess. A woman’s vagina stretches to the point of passing a human head through it, tears, gets bloody and infected, and stitched up. Goldman is never having sex again.”

“And even if Diane is in the mood, they won’t have time for it. The baby will need them all the time.” I offered.

“In the meantime, we will be traveling, enjoying life to the fullest, and I’ll be making you scream my name in every penthouse of every luxury hotel in the world. Or in every surface or wall at our apartment. There are a few we haven’t tried yet.”

“You’re keeping count?” I chuckled.

“Who do you take me for?” Victor raised an eyebrow at me. “Of course I am.”

I laughed again.

“You know what, you are right.” I spoke with confidence. “Who says couples should have kids? Our life is pretty amazing. We both love our jobs, we have successful careers, we love each other and have amazing moments together. It’s no use to wish for impossible things. We should be counting our many, many blessings.”

“My point exactly.” Victor smiled.

I was putting the dinner’s dirty dishes in the dishwasher, back at the apartment, when the thought assaulted me again. I remembered Diane’s pregnant belly and Penny jumping inside it, trying to interact with the world outside. I imagined myself bearing that belly, and Victor’s hands caressing it, his eyes bright with joy. I pictured us putting together baby cribs, buying baby clothes, going to ultrasound appointments together. I imagined our faces as we watched our child inside me, playing with the umbilical cord or sucking her thumb. I could imagine Victor having a picture of that ultrasound next to the ones of us together on his desk.

And maybe during labor, I would hold his hand a little too tight, and end up a bloody stitched mess because of it. We would have endless stories of poop and pee, and dark circles under our eyes, but that wouldn’t matter, because every little milestone achieved in our child’s life would be like a Nobel prize to us, documented with the same pride. We would look at our child and find things from both of us, and we would love her for that. She would have Victor’s eyes or raven hair, and I would love her more because she reminded me of the man I loved. And Victor would look at her dark curls or prominent cheekbones and think of me, and he would love her more for that. She would be the testament of our love, the proof that Victor and Andrea Lee stood on this planet, and they loved each other.

Only when I saw my tears staining the black marble counter did I notice I was crying. I was wishing for impossible things, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted a child like I never wanted anything in my life, I couldn’t ignore it. And I wanted to fight for it.

I felt Victor’s arms circle my waist from behind. I turned to face him, my eyes filled with tears. He gave me a knowing look and pressed my face against his chest, silently telling me to cry it all out.

“I’m a hypocrite.” I confessed between sobs. “I do want a baby. I want to be a mother.”

“I know.” He spoke softly, tightening his grip on me, his hand on the back of my neck, caressing my hair.

“I don’t want to give up just yet.” I looked up to him, suddenly feeling steady. “I still have my ovaries, there is a lot that we can still try. Will you try with me?”

I couldn’t quite read his expression as he looked me in the eyes, pondering my question. A moment after he held me tighter again, pressing me against him again.

“Yes.” I heard his low voice rumble in his chest. “I will.”

[shellyb04]

After watching kdramas on the streaming services I had, I kept seeing recommendations for weightlifting fairy, Kim Bok Joo.  So I found Viki.  Where I have been trapped, falling in love with a new show after new show ever since.

Shows and my ratings are below the cut.

Weightlifting Fairy, Kim Bok Joo Kim Bok Joo is a weightlifter who is finally realizing there’s more to life than just sports.  This features crushes, sweet sweet boys, wholesome ladies, and fluffiness. 10/10  This was SO GOOD!  IT still gives me the happiest of feels to even think about it.  I just fell head first into this drama.  If I had one, teeny tiny nitpick, it would be that I think the 2nd lead is a bit wooden in his acting.  I could never get a good read on him. Marriage not dating Fake dating-Plastic surgeon wants his mom off his back and to stay single.  He falls into real feelings.   10/10  I straight up love this one.  There's drama (the hair pulling in the mall made me shout with happiness).  I love fake relationship dramas and that is what this is, until it's not.  I just seriously adore this one. Princess Hours AU History, Girl finds out she’s engaged to crown prince in an arranged marriage.  She marries him and DRAMA ensues. 3/10  I liked parts of this one a lot, but I just felt like it dragged way too long and kept repeating itself.  Plus the 2nd leads Mom was horrible and I felt no pity for her ever.  The kiss in the middle between the leads was extra good though.

Goblin First supernatural kdrama.  An immortal can only die when his “bride” comes along to pull the sword from his chest.  He meets his bride and the Grim Reaper moves in with him. 9/10  It took me a bit to get use to this one as it was my first supernatural drama.  I had to look up some history for it, which I love doing so that was cool.  Once I was in though, the main couple HAD ME!  The Grim Reaper was also fantastic and I wanted more of his friendship with the leads. Super big BROMANCE in this one. I liked all the supporting cast members as well and the last few episodes had me legitimately sobbing.

What's Wrong With secretary Kim Secretary Kim is the perfect secretary until she quits and her boss will do anything to keep her (cause he loves her, but shh, don’t tell him that.) 10/10  The chemistry is on fire, the leads are amazing and I like the secondary and tertiary stories that are going on all around.  This just lit me up from within.  The only problem was I felt like the reveal of the flashback plot took a bit too long toward the end.

Full House (2004 version) Girls house is accidentally sold to famous actor.  Contract marriage ensues.  MORE FAKE DATING!! 9/10  I'm a SUCKER for fake married, so they had an easy lead. (Also a sucker for couples who fight to cover their feelings so add another check mark there) Once again, it took me a few eps to get into it, but once I did, the Main Couple were my jam.  Fighting to cover feelings is something that I understand and these characters do it in spades.  The family dynamic made me super happy as well.  My only complaint is I HATE HATE HATE the female leads “best friends.”

Fated to Love You Accidental pregnancy becomes marriage of convenience becomes so much more. 7/10  While a bunch of the side plots in this are super cringey, I bump it massive points for the middle to the end of the show.  Now do I think some of the stupidity went on a bit too long? Yes.  Just tell the woman you bought her painting and why!  Could have cut most of an episode out.  But the scenes with the Main Character talking to the baby…just ugh!!! And when I realized he had taken the baby furniture into his room….and eating cake with the baby!!  I was a mess for a few of those eps. Also the main guys laugh freaked me out. But be prepared to CRY in a few places.  

All I want for Love is You Follows a couple who go to school together and she follows him to medical school (even though she is scared of blood).  She’s a dumb jock, he’s a smart sweetie and both are crushing on each other, but hiding it. (He had REASONS, but bleh) 9.5/10  I love almost everything about this Cdrama except the last episode.  They cram months and years of stuff into like 5 seconds.  We don't have time to process that the lead character may be dead before oops nope he's back.  Now kiss and run off camera…what?? But everything leading up to that episode was so good.  The horrible were horrible, but ultimately slightly redeemable.  The main guys stole my heart.   It was everything, (just wish the last ep stuck the landing)

1% of Anything  Girl saves an old man, not knowing who he is.  The old man without her knowing makes her a condition of his will.  His grandson has to marry her to inherit.   9/10  Fake RELATIONSHIPS GIVE ME LIFE!  But seriously this one is pretty sweet, once again it does bog down in a couple of places, but overall, super sweet experience

Oh My Venus Girl who was super hot in high school gains weight and then gets dumped by her bf (of like 15 years).  She decides to lose weight.  Her trainer and she fall for each other in the process. 7/10-the Main relationship was great once it got going, but I struggled with the family/company drama.  I got slightly annoyed at the very end of the show when she was bigger again because of her pregnancy and the man wasn't cool with it.

Fight My Way Four best friends (2 girls, 2 boys) live in a apartment block.  Main leads are stuck in dead in jobs, missing out on their dreams.  But not for long.  Also they realize they are stupid in love with each other along the way. 10/10  A bit of a slower start, but after the like second episode I was in love with it.  I wish the girl's plot had been moved a bit faster earlier on, but overall, SO SO GOOD.  Although the ex-girlfriend in this one serves little purpose.  

The World Owes Me a First Love CDrama, Mobile gaming company CEO and his first employee fall in love while dealing with a new dungeon release for their game. 8/10  Perfectly lovely story with sweet people.  I was pleasantly diverted

Love in the Moonlight Historical Drama-Woman poses as man for plot reasons and accidentally becomes a eunich in the palace.  The Crown Prince falls for her anyway. 8/10  Apparently I really struggle with the historical dramas.  I liked most of this one, until the end when it got bogged down in its own plot.

Coffee Prince Girl poses as a guy to get a job.  The boss is super confused, but falling in love anyway. 9/10  A ton of sweet moments with some fake relationship and gender misunderstandings.  I really liked this one over all.  The moment that the main guy kisses the main girl (thinking she's a guy) is one of my favorite moments. Also a later kissing scene is in my top five favorite kdrama kisses.

You're Beautiful Once again, Girl poses as boy, this time as her twin brother, to help him get into a kpop group.  And while there...falls for one of the members.  The boys do figure it out fairly quickly and decide to help her.  6/10  Okay, but nothing special.  The main girl is good, but probably good she never played the brother.  But that was part of what made it weird.  We heard about the brother for the whole series, but we never saw any personality from him, just sort of heard about it.  And the 2nd female was super evil!

Drunken to love you My first Taiwanese drama.  Leads get drunk and married. They stay that way for the plot. 8/10  Stupid in all the best way.  It did drag a bit and the introduction of the character Daniel felt super forced.  Seriously just super campy and I loved it.

Master Devil Do Not Kiss Me Season 1  Cdrama. Poor girl moves into rich house and Rich boy falls for her (with mother rooting for it all)   1/10  The dubbing was bad, the music was bad, the acting was atrocious and I barely made it though and could not do the second season.

My Princess 9/10 Normal girl finds out she's the Princess of Korea. Love the main couple. A few confusing plot bits in the middle and the two politicians add very little to the story. Ending was a bit confusing, is she still the princess or not? Mask 7/10 Woman is forced to take the place of her doppelganger and falls in love with her new husband. melodrama Main couple is too precious for words. Their romance is wonderful. The 2nd leads (and villain couple) are delicious. The sister is layered and understandable while the man takes moustache twirling to a new meaning. Suspicious Partner 10/10 Law student accused of murdering exbf, works with Prosecutor who loses his job over her case. They fall in love and solve murders. Also Super Adorable and ridiculously attractive. A few slow moments made up for by some really intense ones. Could have probably been tightened up into fewer eps, but all bad points made up for by supporting office characters (Investigator Bang and the CEO are the BESTEST)  Bromance!

And that’s what I’ve seen so far.  Currently watching Touch your heart.  Will let you know how it goes!

[kingbaekho]

paradise (kang daniel/you) -- prompt generator series

pairing: kang daniel x you word count: 2k genre: fluff a/n: oh god this got way too long

prompt: person a and person b are pretending to be a married couple because they want a discount on a vacation special to a hawaiian resort. what happens? do they get found out?

daniel can always tell when you have another one of your radical ideas because you get that glint in your eyes. and whenever you get said glint in your eye, his stomach drops, because he knows that whatever’s coming can’t be good.

case in point: right now, as you march over to his table, a smirk toying on the corners of your lips.

he sighs the instant you approach. “what do you want now?”

your smirk immediately falls, transforming into knitted eyebrows and a little pout that tugs at daniel’s heartstrings. as ridiculous as you can be, he can’t help but harbor a small crush on you anyway.

“what do you mean?” you ask, plopping yourself into the chair across from him and swiping his soda can from his grasp. he rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling as well.

“whenever you have that look, i know you’re going to say something bad.”

“what do you mean?!” you straighten up indignantly. “for your information, this is a fantastic idea!”

he snorts. “okay, shoot.”

you lean forward, your expression now serious. “so, i was looking at those travel websites last night for spring break.”

“mm-hmm.” daniel takes a bite of his sandwich and slouches back in his chair.

“and you know how much i want to go to hawaii, right? like, it seems so pretty, and the last time i was there, i had so much fun, and it was so nice -- anyway--”

“uh-huh.”

“so i was looking at those travel websites. and do you know how much it costs to go to hawaii?” you slam your fist against the table, making daniel flinch. “a metric fuckload! i don’t have a metric fuckload!”

he chuckles. “and?”

“but--” you point your finger directly at him. “there are those vacation travel packages. like the ones where you pay for tours and the hotel and -- you know what i’m talking about, right?”

“sure.”

your eyes widen. “one site has a 75% discount for married couples! it’s so cheap! but i need someone to be married to for the trip!” you clasp your hands together, bouncing up and down in your seat. “please, please, please, please be my fake husband so we can go to hawaii for spring break? pretty please?”

daniel has to admit, a 75% discount on anything is quite compelling. and so is your pouting face.

it’s mostly your face.

he sits back up. he’d saved money for spring break -- after all, this was his last year of college. if there was ever a time to go all-out, whether it be coachella or bora bora -- this was it.

“alright,” he hums, relishing in how your face instantly lights up with glee. “i’ll do it.”

-

daniel fiddles with his “wedding ring” (that he’d actually bought off amazon) as he steps out of the rental car, eyes fixated on the hotel. while his family has always had enough to afford a solid vacation each year, the sight of a luxurious hotel never gets old. and by the looks of it, you’re just as awed as he is, bumping into him as you drift around the car.

“nice job.” he grins, holding your shoulders to keep you steady.

you smile back at him. “thanks, i try. daniel, i’m so excited! look at the hotel! it’s so pretty!” you clasp your hands in glee, and his heart flutters.

he just laughs at you. “it’s nice, but do you think we can pull off this ‘marriage’ thing?”

you nod confidently. “i can do it. maybe you can’t.” you stick your tongue out at him, and he sticks his out right back.

“whatever you say. now, let’s get going. i think the valet is getting mad at me for just leaving the car here and not going inside.”

giggling, you slip your arm around his, and daniel’s heart stops for a moment. and in that moment, he’s not really sure if he can keep this charade up. not because he’s not a good actor, but maybe because he’ll end up being too good.

-

“are you okay with sharing a bed?” daniel asks you, as you’re facedown in the middle of the giant bed.

“of course!” your voice is muffled, but your enthusiasm shines through nonetheless. “we’re married, duh! didn’t you already think of that?”

“no,” he admits. “i don’t mind, though.” he wanders over to sit on the edge of the bed. immediately, you roll into his lap, resting your head on his legs and smiling up at him. once again, daniel feels his heart stop.

 you reach for his hand, idly playing with his fingers as his other hand gently brushes through your hair. since you two have been friends since college orientation, skinship like this is no longer a big deal. but ever since daniel realized his crush on you last summer, his heart pounds every time you’re close to him, even when it’s just innocuous to you. like right now. all he can feel is his heart beating through his chest, his brain clouded in utter happiness -- if all of this vacation would consist of this, that would be more than fine with him.

-

as it turns out, acting like a newlywed couple is beyond easy. maybe it’s because you and daniel are already so comfortable with one another, but none of the staff seem to bat an eye. not the hostess who leads you to your table at breakfast with a “good morning, mr. and mrs. kang,” or the tour guide who announces to the bus that, “this lovely couple is here on their honeymoon! congratulations!” each time, you simply hug daniel’s arm and look up at him with a soft smile, which only serves to solidify the “relationship.”

but, as the week progresses, daniel knows that his feelings for you are only getting worse and worse. maybe it’s just because you two are alone together for the week. maybe it’s the hawaiian air. or maybe, it’s because this little taste of a fake relationship is giving him a look into what dating you would really be like.

every night, he ends up tossing and turning in bed. maybe he should tell you. maybe, after all this time, he should just say it. after all, this would be the perfect time -- a candlelit dinner on a balcony overlooking the hawaiian ocean -- bam. pop the question (out of earshot from the waiters, of course).

or maybe, this honeymoon act is lulling him into a false sense of complacency. for all your pouting, daniel’s found that he never seems to know what you’re truly thinking. you seem to sleep just fine, after all, unlike him.

and thus, the candlelit dinner overlooking the hawaiian sea comes and goes, and it seems like it’s all too soon before you two are packing up. you’re rushing around the hotel room in a flurry -- despite the trip being only one week long, you’ve somehow managed to scatter your belongings everywhere. daniel, having finished packing long ago, is watching you in amusement.

“i don’t know how you do it.” he says.

“do what?” you call from the bathroom, where you’re stuffing your skincare products into a giant pouch.

“get all of your stuff everywhere. your suitcase is like one of those clown cars.”

you poke your head out of the bathroom to roll your eyes. “oh, shut it, kang.”

he just laughs. “we have... one hour before we have to leave for the airport.”

all he hears in reply is a screech and the sound of bottles being banged against the countertop.

-

“done.” you blow your hair out of your face as you stand your suitcase up, smiling.

“proud of you,” daniel chuckles, standing up. “we still have five minutes left, too.”

you dip into an exaggerated bow. “thank you, thank you. i’m here all weekend.”

he ruffles your hair as you raise your head. “bravo, bravo. encore, please.” he deadpans.

you scowl at him. “i’m a serious performer, niel.”

“i could tell. you were a great fake wife.”

“and you were a great fake husband.” you beam. “seriously though -- i had a lot of fun. i’m glad we actually decided to take the deal.”

he nods. “i don’t think i ever would’ve gone to hawaii period if you hadn’t asked. it was a good vacation.”

“and the dinner last night?” you pat your stomach. “candles? a view of the magnificent hawaiian ocean? mamma mia.” you blow a chef’s kiss that makes him groan.

“you’re terrible.”

you just laugh. “uh-huh, uh-huh.”

daniel lapses into silence, staring out of the hotel room window. you bringing up the dinner last night has dredged up some thoughts in him -- maybe he should’ve told you after all. but now it’s too late, and you’re grabbing his arm to drag him out of the hotel room.

-

the regret consumes him all throughout the drive to the airport and onto the plane. you complain numerous times about how quiet and distracted he’s suddenly gotten, but all he replies with are noncommittal “mm-hmm”s and “okay”s. on the plane, he tries to occupy himself with the latest edition of the airplane safety pamphlet, reading and rereading each step over and over again to try to get his mind off of you.

in the middle of him reading over a demonstration on how to use the inflatable slides, you tap his arm.

“daniel?”

he jolts up, almost jumping a foot in his seat. normally, you would laugh at him for it, but right now, you seem solemn.

“what’s up?” he asks, trying to act as if his heart hasn’t reached a bpm of 300 in half a second.

“thank you for coming to hawaii with me,” you say.

“oh. you’re welcome?” he furrows his eyebrows, wondering why you look so serious if you were only going to say that.

“i... i know this probably doesn’t matter to you, but i asked you to come with me specifically because...”

“what’s wrong?”

you glance away from him. “because i like you. a lot. and i liked you being my fake husband, but that made me like you even more. so -- i thought i’d just say it now that the trip’s over. if you don’t like me back, that’s okay. and don’t think i just, like, got off on using you as my fake husband. i really had a good time with you, even as a friend, i did. i just--”

daniel’s grin is stretching from ear to ear. “shut up, idiot.”

“what?”

“i like you, too.”

“what?!” you scream. you immediately slap your hands over your mouth, but it’s too late, because you’ve managed to draw the eye of everyone on the plane. your face beet red, you bounce as much as you can in your airplane seat, half-whispered squealing coming from between your hands.

“yeah -- i wanted to tell you last night, but i was too scared to. i’m glad you told me now... i was thinking that it was too late to tell you,” he explains.

you shake your head excitedly. “no, no -- not too late at all. oh, god--” you place your hands over your chest. “--i really didn’t think you’d like me back. you’re really out of my league, you know?”

he laughs. “no, i don’t. if anything, you’re out of my league.”

you lower your arms, and daniel takes the opportunity to grasp your hand, squeezing it gently.

“can i kiss you?” he asks.

you nod, glee flitting across your face. so daniel cups your chin in his hands and presses his lips against yours, savoring the way you seem to melt against him. everything seems so natural when he kisses you, like you two were always meant to fit together -- like puzzle pieces.

and daniel, as logical as he usually is, can’t help but think that he was truly meant to be with you.

when you two finally part, your face is flushed red, and he’s sure that he’s equally as tomato-colored. he doesn’t let go of you, however, gently wiping your lips with his thumb.

“so does that mean that you’re going to find another honeymoon special for the summer?” he asks playfully.

you laugh, finally separating from him so that you can lean your head against his shoulder. “definitely.”

[matthiascartwright]

💼 I wanna treat you like you wanna be treated; I wanna see you as you wanna be seen 💼

The Cartwrights have always been a prestigious English family. Matthias Daniel Cartwright, the second son in a family that would have three boys, was no exception to their long line of ‘pristine’ genetics. Every Cartwright, for more generations than were worth counting, had always become a doctor. Just like some families had a history of the men enlisting into branches of the military, theirs all pursued medical careers. Every Cartwright looked, acted, and worked a very specific way. The shadow cast by Caleb, Matthia’s older brother, was never too big for Matthias. The two got on extremely well, consider each other close friends and they encouraged each other to maintain the family’s image. His entire childhood was directed to a career in medicine. His father, who owned a large practice, would come and go; meanwhile, his patient wife co-raised her three blonde-haired and blue-eyed boys with a nanny in a house that was unnecessarily large for their family. As far back as the medical career history went for their family so too did a history of there never being anything but sons. This little family fact changed when Diana, who is more than ten years younger than him, was born. Upon the birth of the first female, the antics about the family history seemed to ease up, at least a little. Caleb was no longer expected to take the same specialty as their father, Matthias no longer had to attend that university, and, at least to Matthias, Jameson could have skipped out of it and become a politician if his heart so desired.

Matt’s early years were like that, full of laughter and expectations. They didn’t play with toy soldiers; they had little stethoscopes, did charity work, and played sports. Even after their cousin Diana was born, the boys’ family had instilled the mentality of “being the best version of yourself” so deeply within them that their parents letting up on them never resulted in acting out in school or achieving anything lower than top marks. As Caleb still went to the family’s usual university, Cambridge, Matthias decided to apply to schools in the United States, Germany, Canada, and Australia. While his parents couldn’t seem to fathom their son leaving them, his brothers knew that he had always been a bit more adventurous. With his grades, the Cartwright track record for academic success, and his gleaming record of charity work and sports participation every university wanted him. For the first time in his life, Matt would make a decision specifically for himself. The winner would be Harvard University. Despite his family’s wealth, Harvard offered Matthias a full ride knowing that so many other schools wanted him. In his time there he would live on campus, meals paid, participate in sports year round, and only make trips back home for the holidays. Matt would remain an academic success and would also earn the school medals in sailing and fencing as well as being a part of the championship soccer and lacrosse teams. Despite such accolades, he was never one to boast, not even telling his family members until after the fact. Luckily, they caught on and visited for some of his events in his final two years there.

Upon receiving his doctorate from Harvard he was encouraged to return to London and join his father’s practice; however, Matthias had his own plans. Moving to Australia he received a second degree in Emergency & Trauma Medicine while completing his residency. It was his time there that made him truly fall in love with surfing, a hobby he would keep up with and eventually be a major factor in his ending up in California. Matt would love Australia so much that he would buy a large home in Byron Bay. Though he’d intended it mostly for holidays and eventually retirement he does oftentimes visit or pay for his friends to visit the estate. The house there is still very dear to him and his visits there is always a good time because of his former co-workers but when Matthias reflects on his life as a whole Australia remains just a small blip and the mansion has never been deemed home to him. Shortly after its purchase and upon his residency completion and receipt of the other degrees Matthias joined the Peace Corp. Then, after his time with them, he volunteered with Doctors Without Borders. All of those activities truly shaped him into the man he is today while he still holds onto the strong family values his parents instilled in him.

After years away from home Matthias returned to his family, purchasing a condo in London. Taking a job at his father’s practice and saving nearly all his money, the young man tried to map out a plan for the rest of his life. Then, just as he was a few days from heading to the United States to begin looking for locations near the Brooklyn Bridge to start his own hospital, Matt met Violet Ralston. The pair seemed to click perfectly together and more importantly, his family adored her. She was smart, driven, and independent. They dated for a couple of months before his mother gave him her mother’s engagement ring, telling him that she was certain that Violet was the one for him. Unfortunately, she didn’t give him much more to go on than that. 

The Cartwrights saw Violet for her own prestigious family and her similarities to Matthias. Even more, unfortunately, after their marriage, she quickly changed. Violet hadn’t made Matt aware of her immediate desire for children or that she wanted to raise them without a nanny. Feeling like he’d lost his connection to his wife he found himself trying to buy her things to please her. Even more unsatisfied with his life turning into his parents he began seeing the florist he always bought Violet flowers from. Ashamed with the affair he told his wife and Violet immediately divorce him before they’d even been together for a full year.

Wanting a fresh start, Matt moved to New York City. Renting his place in London to doctors the worked at his father’s practice kept him tied to home if he felt the need to return. However, that would never actually happen. After a short time, Matthias fell back to his original plan, opening a hospital near the Brooklyn Bridge. With years of charity work under his belt he knew that he wanted to help people. The reason he chose to start his hospital in the states was because he knew that Americans had a greater influence on the world than other countries and his hope was that in changing some of their lives they would go out and do the same for others. 

The Cartwright Clinic would be an entirely free hospital that provided a laundry list of things on top of free medical care. It successfully ran entirely on donations with patients paying what/if they could. Other things offered were 24-hour childcare, a soup kitchen, a shelter, and an array of support groups and workshops. After Hurricane Sandy, the hospital received a massive influx of donations for his support to help the community and with that money he chose to create another hospital on the west coast. CC East remains open and successful, run by his eldest brother, the doctors that work there are volunteers looking to gain more experience, and the heads of surgery and so on rent out his home in the big apple. As for going back he visits there once a weekend every quarter, but he believes that he has left it in capable hands.

Moving to Los Angeles was easy enough for Matthias, he’d lived in several other major cities, always got along with people, and was excited to set up another hospital. His first year in the city was a rush. The hospital was just as successful as the one in New York. His staff, a lot of who came from CC East, was made up of amazingly hard workers. Most importantly there was a clear shift in the crime rates and health of the people in the city. Sadly, nothing would ever be perfect, but they always had a way of finding something good through the insanity. For every kid that was shot in a gang initiation, the doctors and nurses took the time to help them find a way out of that lifestyle. Any drug addict or homeless person received help immediately or they were taken, not just referred to, a long-term facility. Most importantly, Matthias found his daughter, Aubrianna Charlotte. 

The premature baby had been dumped in the hospital’s medical waste bin, umbilical cord still attached, strung out, and with no expectations to make it. The clinic saved her life, Matt fostered her while the police looked for a mother- to no avail, and he would adopt her. He knew from the moment he saw her that she was his daughter and gave her the first name Aubrianna after Aubrie, his mother, and Diana, his cousin. Her middle name Charlotte was for a dear friend from New York who had died before he left. Having a daughter would change more than his perspective on life, it would change his lifestyle, hopes, and dreams…everything.

Matt’s life was on a high, he was pulling away from practicing medicine to focus on the hospital franchise expanding into Chicago and Havana. He’d purchased a place on the coast with a large property that was the first place to feel like home since London, and his daughter was fully adopted and definitely healthy.  Stepping away from direct “doctoring” gave him more time to be a single father to Aubrianna. Currently settled in Illinois, he travels frequently for work and family, but, finally, has time to put himself ‘out there’ again. He’s happy to see a lot of his family relocating and working at his hospitals and for now, friends and family are all he wants and needs, and he’s open to the idea of that changing.

[kadobeclothing]

85 Of The Best Quotes About Men’s Fashion & Style

Granted, reading FashionBeans probably equips you with more than enough style knowledge to pass an end-of-season exam. But if you’re the sartorial sage in your peer group, setting the agenda and the dress code for everything from a business-casual office to a few days in Ibiza, then you could quickly run low on modish pearls of wisdom.In which case, breathe a sweet sigh of relief, as we’re here to provide you with a rundown of our favourite quotes about fashion and style – all of which you can pass off as your own musings after a few beers down your local.1. “Shoes transform your body language and attitude. They lift you physically and emotionally.” — Christian Louboutin2. “Remind yourself. Nobody built like you, you design yourself.” – Jay Z3. “Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.” – Quentin Crisp4. “To achieve the nonchalance, which is absolutely necessary for a man, one article at least must not match.” – Hardy Amies5. “Being perfectly well-dressed gives one a tranquillity that no religion can bestow.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson6. “If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed, but either too stiff, too tight, or too fashionable.” – Beau Brummel7. “If you’re asking someone for money wear a tie.” – Unknown8. “People always ask me what the trends are, but I’m not a believer in trends. Individuality is more important to me, to stand out and have the confidence to wear something you’re comfortable in – it just happens. I’m comfortable wearing a suit.” – David Gandy9. “Fashion is what you’re offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose.” — Lauren Hutton10. “Fashion is a playground up until a certain age. But then you have to find your own signature and your own style.” – Nicolas Ghesquière11. “Clothes mean nothing until someone lives in them.” – Marc Jacobs12. “Fashion is more about feel than science.” – Pharrell Williams13. “As you age, it’s quite important to pay attention to how you look and to take steps towards ensuring that you stay happy with how you look. And grooming, whether you just use a moisturiser or go the whole hog at a salon, can make that much-needed difference.” – Saif Ali Khan14. “Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.” – Orson Welles15. “Fashions fade, style is eternal.” – Yves Saint Laurent16. “Every man should have a magnifying mirror. If you look good magnified, you are set to go” – Tom Ford17. “People will stare. Make it worth their while.” — Harry Winston18. “Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” — Bo Derek19. “We define a metrosexual as someone who really takes care of themselves in terms of grooming and style. There is nothing wrong with that. But I think you need to have some other values. It’s cool to incorporate some traditional values into metrosexuality. Then it becomes a good lifestyle.” – Frank Vincent20. “To be noticed without striving to be noticed, this is what elegance is about.” – Luciano Barbera21. “I like nice clothes, whether they’re dodgy or not.” – David Beckham22. “Create your own visual style… Let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.” – Orson Welles23. “The well-dressed man is he whose clothes you never notice.” – William Somerset Maugham24. “Make it simple, but significant.” — Don Draper25. “The difference between style and fashion is quality.” – Giorgio Armani26. “Dirt makes a man look masculine. Let your hair blow in the wind… All you have to do is look neat when you have to look neat.” – Hedy Lamarr27. “Music has shaped men’s fashion and transposed in a playful and witty manner its riding or military heritage. It is difficult to figure out who leads but music and fashion are connected genetically.” – Hedi Slimane28. “If you can’t be better than your competition, just dress better.” – Anna Wintour29. “Fashion should be a form of escapism, and not a form of imprisonment.” – Alexander McQueen30. “Elegance is not standing out, but being remembered.” – Giorgio Armani31. “I often take a brand new suit or hat and throw it up against the wall a few times to get that stiff, square newness out of it.” – Fred Astaire32. “People say, ‘What do you mean you want to help the world, but you’re so concerned about fashion?’ It’s illegal to be naked. It is something that is extremely important.” — Kanye West33. “Putting on a beautifully designed suit elevates my spirit, extols my sense of self, and helps define me as a man to whom details matter.” – Gay Talese34. “You don’t find a style. A style finds you.” – Keith Richards35. “My style – it’s black and it’s expensive.” – Mark Healey36. “Dress like you’ve made something of yourself in the world, even if you haven’t.” – Unknown37. “Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things he’s got it all.” – James Brown38. “A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.” – George Bernard Shaw39. “Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way you live.” – Gianni Versace40. “Looking good isn’t self-importance; it’s self-respect.” – Charles Hix41. “Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing.” – Alexander Wang42. “I think in black.” – Gareth Pugh43. “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.” – Larry David44. “There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson45. “A man should look as if he has bought his clothes with intelligence, put them on with care and then forgotten all about them.” – Hardy Amies46. “Men with style are great because they have a sense of self.” – Lexa Doig47. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” – Mark Twain48. “All it takes are a few simple outfits. And there’s one secret – the simpler the better.” – Cary Grant49. “Style is primarily a matter of instinct.” — Bill Blass50. “I can go all over the world with just three outfits: a blue blazer and grey flannel pants, a grey flannel suit, and black tie.” – Pierre Cardin51. “‘Tis hell to a man of spirit to be contradicted by his tailor.” – Richard Garnett52. “Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.” – Henry David Thoreau53. “Style is the answer to everything. A fresh way to approach a dull or dangerous thing. To do a dull thing with style is preferable to doing a dangerous thing without it. To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art.” – Charles Bukowski54. “A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life.” – Oscar Wilde55. “The style of studied nonchalance is the psychological triumph of grace over order.” – G. Bruce Boyer56. “Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts.” – Jim Morrison57. “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” – Oscar Wilde58. “Clothes and manners do not make the man; but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.” – Arthur Ashe59. “I don’t design clothes. I design dreams.” – Ralph Lauren60. “Fashion is an art. You express who you are through what you’re wearing.” – Daniele Donato61. “Style is when they’re running you out of town and you make it look like you’re leading the parade.” – William Battie62. “Your signature scent should be nothing too overpowering, something that suits the occasion.” – David Beckham63. “Never wear anything that panics the cat.” – P.J. O’Rourke64. “Good grooming is integral and impeccable style is a must. If you don’t look the part, no one will want to give you time or money.” – Daymond John65. “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” — Rachel Zoe66. “Fashion is not necessarily about labels. It’s not about brands. It’s about something else that comes from within you.” – Ralph Lauren67. “A well-tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men.” – Unknown68. “It is both delusional and stupid to think that clothes don’t really matter and we should all wear whatever we want. Most people don’t take clothing seriously enough, but whether we should or not, clothes do talk to us and we make decisions based on people’s appearances.” – G. Bruce Boyer69. “A good lather is half the shave.” – William Hone70. “Buy less, choose well.” — Vivienne Westwood71. “You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” – Oscar Wilde72. “Going to an actual barbershop, the whole hot towel old-school experience. You sit there and get your hands massaged while getting a shave? Nothing wrong with that.” – Justin Timberlake73. “Style is the perfection of a point of view.” – Richard Eberhart74. “Fashion is what you buy. Style is what you do with it.” – Unknown75. “The way we dress affects the way we think, the way we feel, the way we act, and the way others react to us.” – Julie Rasband76. “Dressing well is a form of good manners.” – Tom Ford77. “To me, clothing is a form of self-expression – there are hints about who you are in what you wear.” – Marc Jacobs78. “Know first who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.” – Epictetus79. “Like every good man, I strive for perfection, and, like every ordinary man, I have found that perfection is out of reach – but not the perfect suit.” – Edward Tivnan80. “Almost every man looks more so in a belted trench coat.” – Sydney J. Harris81. “Men tell me that I’ve saved their marriages. It costs them a fortune in shoes, but it’s cheaper than a divorce.” – Manolo Blahnik82. “Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilisation in high boots.” – Albert Einstein83. “The best things you can do for your skin are not smoke, always use sunscreen and drink a lot of water.” – Sela Ward84. “Black is modest and arrogant at the same time. Black is lazy and easy – but mysterious. But above all black says this: ‘I don’t bother you – don’t bother me.’” – Yohji Yamamoto85. “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci Source link

source https://www.kadobeclothing.store/85-of-the-best-quotes-about-mens-fashion-style/

[inloveandwords]

This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story).

It works like this

Go to your Goodreads to-read shelf.

Order on ascending date added.

Take the first 5 (or 10 (or even more!) if you’re feeling adventurous) books

Read the synopsis of the books

Decide: keep it or should it go?

The Coma by Alex Garland

The acclaimed author of The Beach returns with a mesmerizing and highly original work of intrigue.

Proclaimed “a gifted storyteller” by The New Yorker and “a huge literary talent” by Kazuo Ishiguro, Alex Garland, the internationally bestselling author of The Beach, The Tesseract, and writer of the critically acclaimed film 28 Days Later, returns with yet another gripping page- turner that blurs the edges of reality and probes the boundaries of consciousness. A man is attacked on the Underground and awakens to find himself in a hospital, apparently having emerged from a coma. Or has he? Garland’s brilliant tale is illustrated with forty haunting woodblock print illustrations by his father, Nicholas Garland, a well-known political cartoonist for the Daily Telegraph (UK) and noted artist.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: The reviews aren’t great on this one and I honestly have no idea why I added it to my TBR in the first place.

***

Midnight Magic (Midnight Magic #2) by Avi

Mangus the Magician must free a princess from a terrifying ghost. But Mangus doesn’t believe in ghosts. Actually, he doesn’t even believe in magic. His servant boy, Fabrizio, is the princess’s secret friend and determined to prove that the ghost is real.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: First of all, the author doesn’t have a last name… just kidding, I’m ditching this simply because I have no idea why I added this in the first place.

***

The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff

Mackie Doyle is not one of us. Though he lives in the small town of Gentry, he comes from a world of tunnels and black murky water, a world of living dead girls ruled by a little tattooed princess. He is a Replacement, left in the crib of a human baby sixteen years ago. Now, because of fatal allergies to iron, blood, and consecrated ground, Mackie is fighting to survive in the human world.

Mackie would give anything to live among us, to practice on his bass or spend time with his crush, Tate. But when Tate’s baby sister goes missing, Mackie is drawn irrevocably into the underworld of Gentry, known as Mayhem. He must face the dark creatures of the Slag Heaps and find his rightful place, in our world, or theirs.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: This just does not appeal to me anymore. I actually think I owned this at one point, but ended up donating it.

***

Pussy, King of the Pirates by Kathy Acker

A loose reworking of Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic Treasure Island, Acker’s radical interpretation is a masterfully directed, wild trek through real and imagined history, from the most famous whorehouse in Alexandria through an unidentified, crumbling city that may or may not be sometime in the future. “Acker pushes language to the tension point, explodes and reclaims it”.– Boston Sunday Herald.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I remember the day I bought this at a little pop-up book shop many years ago. The checkout guy saw the title and nodded appreciatively and drawled, “niiiiice.” I do still love the cover… whether I read it or not is an entirely different story.

***

Open House by Elizabeth Berg

Open House, Open Heart

Elizabeth Berg has made a name for herself by writing provocative, engaging novels that strike a deep emotional chord with women everywhere. Her topics have ranged from parental estrangement and the death of a dear friend, to the unique bonds that can develop between sisters, or between a straight woman and a gay man. But at the heart of each is a common theme#151;a woman put to the test, stretched to the limits of her emotional boundaries by the vagaries of life. Berg’s latest, IOpen House,/I follows this tried-and-true formula by telling the story of one woman’s struggle to survive divorce.P Throughout the 20 years of her marriage, Samantha Morrow has been content with her life, though she knows it isn’t perfect. She has a nice home, a great son, and a husband she loves. But everything is turned upside down when her husband, David, tells her he wants out of their marriage. His rapid departure on the heels of this announcement leaves Sam horribly shocked, utterly confused, and oddly obsessed with Martha Stewart. Her initial reaction is to go on a spending spree, charging thousands of dollars worth of merchandise at Tiffany’s to her husband’s credit card. But when reality sets in and her husband cuts her off, she realizes that if she wants to keep the house she loves and make a home for herself and her son, she’s going to have to generate some income.P Her first solution to this dilemma is to find a couple of roommates. Between the finished portion of the basement and the extra bedroom upstairs, Sam figures she can take on two boarders and mitigate a large portion of the mortgage payment. She finds her first boarder quickly#151;the septuagenarian mother of an acquaintance#151;and is delighted. Lydia Fitch is quiet, clean, concerned, friendly, and more than eager to play grandmother to Sam’s son, Travis. Which is just as well, since Sam’s own mother doesn’t quite fit the bill. In fact, Sam’s mother has made a career out of dating since the death of her husband two decades ago and is now determined to fix Sam up as soon as possible#151;a plan with foreseeable disasters written all over it.P Sam’s life is further complicated when she starts looking for a job, for other than a gig singing in a band years ago, she’s never been employed. But then King, the gentle giant of a man who helps Lydia move in, puts Sam in touch with the employment agency he works for. Suddenly Sam is off on a variety of short-term jobs, everything from making change at a Laundromat, to working as a carpenter’s helper. When she gets the devastating news that Lydia has decided to marry her long-time beau and move out, Sam takes on a second boarder for the basement space: a sullen, depressed college student.P Meanwhile, Sam’s relationship with David has given way to an awkward tiptoeing d�tente as he starts building a new life for himself, replete with an upscale condo and a new girlfriend. Travis starts acting out and behaving as sullenly as the new boarder, and Sam finds herself eating all the time and gaining weight. Throughout it all, the one steady force in Sam’s life is King, whose implacable calm and supportive friendship provides a stabilizing rudder in the storm-tossed sea of Sam’s life. But Sam soon discovers there is much more to King than she realized and it will force her to rethink everything she has come to hold true.P One of Berg’s greatest strengths is her keen eye for the tiny details and intimate thoughts that allow her readers to relate to her characters on a deeply personal level. Watching Sam try to create a home that will nurture her soul by stocking it with the best of household items is funny but heartbreaking. Yet the journey she travels, a journey of self-discovery that shows home really is where the heart is, makes it all worthwhile. Berg’s mix of pathos and humor (and in this case, a hilarious dead-on skewering of Martha Stewart) lends her prose a tantalizingly perverse flavor that is both entertaining and oddly satisfying.P #151;IBeth Amos/IP Beth Amos is the author of several mainstream suspense thrillers, including ISecond Sight, Eyes of Night,/I and ICold White Fury./I. She lives in Wisconsin, and is at work on her next novel.P

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Dude. That synopsis was a novel itself. I didn’t even feel like reading it just now to decide whether I want to keep it or not. So, pass. (Also the cover is awful)

***

Princess of the Midnight Ball (The Princesses of Westfalin Trilogy #1) by Jessica Day George

Rose is the eldest of twelve princesses forced to dance through the night in an underground palace. Galen is the soldier turned gardener who falls for her. The key to breaking the spell lies in magic knitting needles, an invisibility cloak, and-of course-true love. Inspired by “The Twelve Dancing Princesses,”

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is actually rated fairly high and I’m always down for a retelling.

***

Quicksilver (The Baroque Cycle #1) by Neal Stephenson

Neal Stephenson’s Quicksilver is here. A monumental literary feat that follows the author’s critically acclaimed New York Times bestseller Cryptonomicon, it is history, adventure, science, truth, invention, sex, absurdity, piracy, madness, death, and alchemy. It sweeps across continents and decades with the power of a roaring tornado, upending kings, armies, religious beliefs, and all expectations.

It is the story of Daniel Waterhouse, fearless thinker and conflicted Puritan, pursuing knowledge in the company of the greatest minds of Baroque-era Europe, in a chaotic world where reason wars with the bloody ambitions of the mighty, and where catastrophe, natural or otherwise, can alter the political landscape overnight. It is a chronicle of the breathtaking exploits of “Half-Cocked Jack” Shaftoe–London street urchin turned swashbuckling adventurer and legendary King of the Vagabonds–risking life and limb for fortune and love while slowly maddening from the pox…and Eliza, rescued by Jack from a Turkish harem to become spy, confidante, and pawn of royals in order to reinvent a contentious continent through the newborn power of finance.

A gloriously rich, entertaining, and endlessly inventive novel that brings a remarkable age and its momentous events to vivid life–a historical epic populated by the likes of Samuel Pepys, Isaac Newton, William of Orange, Benjamin Franklin, and King Louis XIV–Quicksilver is an extraordinary achievement from one of the most original and important literary talents of our time.

And it’s just the beginning …

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Anyone else a little turned off by the phrase, “monumental literary feat”? Cuz I am.

***

Trading Up by Candace Bushnell

With a brilliant comic voice as well as Jane Austen’s penchant for social satire, Candace Bushnell, who with Sex and the City changed forever how we view New York City, female friendships, and the love of a good pair of Manolos, now brings us a sharply observant, keenly funny, wildly entertaining latter day comedy of manners. Modern-day heroine Janey Wilcox is a lingerie model whose reach often exceeds her grasp, and whose new-found success has gone to her head. As we follow Janey’s adventures, Bushnell draws us into a seemingly glamorous world of $100,000 cars, hunky polo players and media moguls, Fifth Avenue apartments, and relationships whose hidden agendas are detectable only by the socially astute. But just as Janey enters this world of too much money and too few morals, unseen forces conspire to bring her down, forcing her to reexamine her values about love and friendship–and how far she’s really willing to go to realize her dreams.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I feel like I added this back in my obsessive Sex and the City Days.

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The Illumination by Kevin Brockmeier

What if our pain was the most beautiful thing about us? In the aftermath of a fatal car accident, a private journal of love notes written by a husband to his wife passes into the keeping of a hospital patient, and from there through the hands of five other suffering people, touching each of them uniquely. I love the soft blue veins on your wrist. I love your lopsided smile. I love watching TV and shelling sunflower seeds with you.

The six recipients – a data analyst, a photojour­nalist, a schoolchild, a missionary, a writer, and a street vendor – inhabit an acutely observed, beauti­fully familiar yet particularly strange universe, as only Kevin Brockmeier could imagine it: a world in which human pain is expressed as illumination, so that one’s wounds glitter, fluoresce, and blaze with light. As we follow the journey of the book from stranger to stranger, we come to understand how intricately and brilliantly they are connected, in all their human in­jury and experience.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I can actually picture myself a decade ago standing in Barnes and Noble, reading the synopsis of this book. I’m still pretty intrigued.

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Harry Potter #2) by J.K. Rowling

The Dursleys were so mean and hideous that summer that all Harry Potter wanted was to get back to the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. But just as he’s packing his bags, Harry receives a warning from a strange, impish creature named Dobby who says that if Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts, disaster will strike

And strike it does. For in Harry’s second year at Hogwarts, fresh torments and horrors arise, including an outrageously stuck-up new professor, Gilderoy Lockhart, a spirit named Moaning Myrtle who haunts the girls’ bathroom, and the unwanted attentions of Ron Weasley’s younger sister, Ginny.

But each of these seem minor annoyances when the real trouble begins, and someone — or something — starts turning Hogwarts students to stone. Could it be Draco Malfoy, a more poisonous rival than ever? Could it possibly be Hagrid, whose mysterious past is finally told? Or could it be the one everyone at Hogwarts most suspects . . . Harry Potter himself?

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: OK, so, don’t hate me but I’ve tried reading Harry Potter on several occasions and I just can’t get into it, friends. I want to be super into it simply because the fandom has so many amazing things (a freaking theme park!), but gah! I just can’t!

***

  Here are the stats

Starting Total TBR Count: 1760

Previous Total TBR Count: 1849

Total Marked TBR ASAP: 132

Updated Total TBR Count: 1896

Total Ditched Today: 8

Total Kept Today: 2

    Bye-Bye Books: Decluttering my TBR February 2019 This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story…

[xoxthewitchxox-blog]

About Me

1. What is your name? Courtney 2. How old are you? 30 3. Are you sure? Reasonably 4. What is your earliest memory? 1970's style striped carpet. That classic yellow/burgendy/blue combo 5. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Jack Daniels 6. What is your favorite vegetable? Pumpkin 7. Do you remember your first day at school? Yes, hated it 8. What is the worst exam result you remember ever getting? E. Cheers Mr Boland 9. How tall are you? 173cms 10. Can you swim? Of course, I'm Australian 11. Who is your favorite movie actress? I don't think I have one

12. Who is your favorite movie actor? Again, don't particularly care. Maybe Vincent Price?

13. Who is your favorite comedian? Russell Brand. He's amazing. Intelligent, well spoken, thoughtful. And that face *swoon

14. Who is your favorite politician? Scott Ludlum. Please move to Vic so I can vote for you 15. Who is your favourite historical figure (been dead for at least 100 years)? Vlad Tepes was my first thought, so maybe him? 16. Who is your favorite super-heroine? The Black Widow 17. Who is your favorite super-hero? Deadpool duh 18. Can you name a female scientist other than Madame Curie? Hedy Lamarr helped invent WiFi. That's good enough for me 19. Who is your favorite mythological god or goddess? Baphomet

20. Who is your favorite woman of all time? Me 21. Do you agree with "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth"? Sometimes the high road is too hard. 22. Do you agree with "Life does not forgive weakness"? Yes 23. Do you agree with "It is the enemy who can truly teach us to practice the virtues of compassion and tolerance"? Yes 24. Do you agree with "The state can do what they want to do"? The reality is yes, yes they can. Do I agree? No. 25. Do you agree with "If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country"? Depends on so many things......

26. Do you agree with "If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads"? Yes 27. Do you agree with "Crime is a product of social excess"? More a lack of excess, so no. 28. Do you agree with "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? Yes 29. Do you agree with "And mankind is naught but a single nation"? Yes 30. Do you agree with "Bulimia is soooo '87"? Hey, it can totally work for some! /s don't hurt me 31. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? Holy Shit! This completely horrible movie on Netflix my friend made me watch. London something, it's not worth remembering the full title. Terrible and I still haven't forgiven him for making me watch it and wasting my goddamn time. 32. What is the worst TV show you have ever seen? anything that relies on a laugh track, or anything in the NCIS/CSI franchise 33. What is the worst book you have ever read? Foundations of Statistics textbook, and I spent an hour on 50 Shades of Grey before getting physically angry and ranting at friend about how absurd it was that this exists, and has made so much money. Seriously. It's not even good enough to be called for poorly written trash. 34. What is the worst song you have ever heard? HEY I JUST MET YOU ------- AND THIS IS CRAAAAZY 35. What is the worst sport you know of? golf? 36. Who is the worst movie "star" ever? Tom Hiddleston 37. Who is the worst comedian ever? Outlandish shock jocks are shit.

38. Who is the worst author ever? That 50 Shades lady. Those books are a crime against literature.

39. Who is the worst musical act ever? Avril Lavigne 40. Who is the worst sports "star" you have ever seen? Bernard Tomic 41. If you could go back in time to witness an historical event in person, what event would you want to see? Any part of the French Revolution. The Salem Witch Trials 42. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? Melbourne haha 43. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would you meet? Jason Momoa, so I could annoy a friend 44. If you could become famous for one thing, what would that thing be? A *good* sex tape. Kim Kardashian made a whole empire for her and her family off of a shoddy one, imagine if it were good?! 45. If you could buy anything regardless of cost, what would you buy? A new laptop, and all of KILLSTARS everything, forever. 46. If you could change any one thing about your country, what would it be? The older generation, their conservative personal views are the one thing keeping us in the dark ages. #marriage equality

47. If you could change any one thing about international politics, what would it be? Just get rid of Trump. I think he's been a lesson to 80% of the planet at this point. 48. If you could meet any famous person who is dead, who would it be? Ayrton Senna 49. If you could become dictator of the world, would you? Would you not? 50. If you could eat an entire cow at one sitting, would you? God no, I can hardly finish a burrito in one sitting 51. Have you ever illegally downloaded music/TV shows/movies from the net? No. 52. Have you ever used illegal narcotics (yes, even pot counts if it was illegal at the time)? Honey, I'm 30 53. Have you ever gotten any points on your driving license? Technically no! 54. Have you ever stolen anything from a shop? Yup 55. Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes while underage? No, that what other people were for

56. Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes for another person who was underage? Yeah, that shits hard man. 57. Have you ever tried to cheat the taxman/social security/other government agency? No, they always win.

58. Have you ever ridden on a train or bus without paying? Yes 59. Have you ever been arrested? No 60. Have you ever been charged with a crime ... ? No 61. What's the furthest you've ever been from home? Brisbane 62. Where have you visited that you would like to go back to? Adelaide is wonderful 63. Where would you like to visit that you haven't yet? Norway 64. Where is your favorite place in the world? My bedroom 65. Where have you visited that you hope never to go to again? Sydney. 66. Where would you definitely never go to? South Africa 67. Where is your least favorite place in the world? The dentist 68. What is your favorite way to travel  ? Roadtrip 69. What is your least favorite way to travel? Train 70. What is the capital of Assyria? isn't it a city-state? 71. What was the last movie you saw? haha it was Zodiac, one of my favourites 72. Was it any good? It's great if you're in serial killers and RDJ 73. What was the last book you read? Roomitarian - Henry Rollins 74. Was it any good? He's a brilliant writer, speaker and frontman. Love Henry 75. What was the last song you listened to? Life is Killing Me - Type O Negative 76. Was it any good? Of course 77. What was the last computer game you played? Civ IV 78. Did you do well? Mods are fun 79. What was the last meal you ate? Vegemite on a toasted roll haha

80. Was it any good? It was perfect 81. Do you believe in God/Goddess/Gods/Goddesses? I believe in many things. 82. Do you agree with the war in Iraq? No 83. Do you believe in aliens? They scare me 84. Do you agree with the theory of evolution? and natural selection.

85. Do you believe in reincarnation? Yes, I think I was a cat reviously. I can sleep anywhere and only like to be disturbed for food and affection. 86. Do you agree with the idea of the UN? United Nations (UN)? Theoretically it works, but in practice.... I have no idea   87. Do you believe in karma? Yes

88. Do you agree with the theories of man-induced global warming? Yes. In the last week the temp in my town has been everywhere from 19 to 36. In a WEEK.

89. Do you believe in democracy above all other systems of government? Looking at the US at the moment, maybe not. OR they could try out complulsory voting so EVERYONE has to have a say, not just those with already strong opinions. 90. Do you agree with Freddie Mercury when he sings "Fat-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round"? As a rather flat assed girl, I find it offensive. 91. What is your favorite movie? Zodiac, The Crow, Norwegian Wood 92. What is your favorite book? Any collection of Poe's works 93. What is your favorite song? Tiny Dancer -Elton John or practically anything from HIM 94. What is your favorite city? Melbourne 95. What is your favorite sport? Formula One 96. What is your favorite place in the world? Bed 97. Are you glad these questions are almost over? My back hurts 98. What are you going to do next? have a cigarette and play with my dog 99. Do you anticipate this activity being fun? of course. she's fluffy as fuck 100. Give us a quote to end on...  "I was never insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched" Poe