#dang this took like 3 days of brainstorming-

[ransewarrior]

Knights of the Stars Chapter 1 drop!!!

Yeah, I would post it at AO3, but i will still drop it here!

[danpuff-ao3]

Self-Celebration

me: oh no, I've gotten nothing done, I'm a failure

them: wow, Danni, how do you do so much????

I, maybe, need a good reminder of all of my accomplishments, so here we go. Everything I've accomplished this year so far. That I remember, anyway.

Threw together my HP Astro series; edited and formatted and posted to AO3 in time for Bethy's birthday!

Got White Lies & Silver Bells ready to go live on AO3 as soon as Hoggywartyxmas reveals were up!

Wrote Again (and Again) on a whim, to accompany A-Loveunlaced's Snarry art

Wrote a BUNCH of random drabbles for a House of Snarry challenge. 6 of which I also posted to AO3! (A handful of which I have not yet.)

Wrote 5 fics for Kinkuary! 2 of which are in the same universe as Contempt. 2 of which are not yet posted (waiting for the 27th and 28th!) 1 of which (the longest of which) I wrote, edited, and posted same day! The day after I had a tooth extraction.

Wrote 3 fics for Chan Fest! All of which I wrote, edited, and posted same day. 2 of which are 5k+ words!

Various words in various other places.

Brainstorming for other fics.

Co-modding @hp-chan-fest

Starting @hp-fruit-fest (and running solo, RIP me)

Modly duties on the Snarry Sanctuary Discord server

Keeping on top of my AO3 comments! (You know, responding to them.)

New HP Astro posts (Lily, Snily, Luna, and Ron (to be posted 3/1/23!))

Made several ship and fic related playlists on Spotify

Made TONS of fic banners on Canva.

Several rec lists! 8 posted so far, and a few queued up!

Got my home office all set up and cozy!

Brainstorming ideas with friends

Helping alpha/beta/cheer read for friends

Try to stay involved in the community/socializing on Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit.

Supporting other creators as much as possible!

Finally took the time to learn how to create work skins on AO3!

And site skins!! And finally got all fic stats and personal stats hidden (for mental health!)

Fought with site skin codes on behalf of a friend, to get it tuned to her liking, so that she has a clean and stress-free environment if/when she returns to fandom! (The perks of having your friends' AO3 login haha!) (This took like an hour I stg and I was being way too stubborn to stop fiddling and consult a guide.) (But oh well, I did the dang thing!!!!)

Started compiling resources I need to begin book binding! Still a ways off before I can start cuz supplies are not cheap, but I'm on the right path!

ALSOOOOO

Working a full time job

Spending time with my longtime partner (my beloved Eddie-bear!)

I actually watched a still-newish show for once! Wednesday!

Finished reorganizing/decluttering my home

Baked...a lot. Mostly cookies. Going to bake brownies this weekend!

Many doctor's appointments

And medication changes

I filed my taxes!!

Oh yeah and started being a teensy bit more sociable at work! I had a nice long conversation about ASTROLOGY the other day which was fun and great and awesome.

Oh let's not forget about all my work accomplishments! I made 8 years with my company. All the people coming and going (which I get to deal with.) Our census going way up. Many IT calls and playing IT person for small tech problems. Many errands run. Oh yeah and all the new tasks I get to do because our funder and our corporate office BOTH love changing expectations frequently.

So like...there's stuff I wish I could do and haven't been able to yet. But I'm far from a failure! Or lazy, for that matter. I am a lady of ACCOMPLISHMENT.

[bandgeek4life8]

Guardians - chapter two the lost city of atlantis

Chapter 1

WC: 3, 453

Season 1, Episode 2: The Lost City of Atlantis

Previously on Guardian in Jim's POV "The Nightmares have emerged once more." Pabbie told everyone.

"GREAT GRONKA MORKA!!" Blinky exclaimed.

"And they attend to assimilate an army. They already have the witch Gothel, the bogeyman Pitch Black, the dragon tamer Drago Bludvist with his mother of dragons Red Death, the prince Hans of Southern Isles and Duke of Weselton, the cursed bear Mor'du, the Pirate "Captain Hook" Killian James, and the Boggan Mandrake. And I have a list of who they want. From my visions. But only two people I wish to say it to: Vendel and... James Lake Jr. Because she wishes it."

"Who wishes for me to know?" I asked him.

"Starling."

Some people are chosen for this life and have no choice but to accept its transgressions. Others spend their life completely in the dark about this life we lead. Some, like me, choose to live this life. It is a lot of work for anybody. Not just anybody can get into this life and survive its trials and tribulations. But we were born for this. To become guardians. But I'm not a guardian yet. I'm just an apprentice.

|{[INSERT_OPENING_SEQUENCE]}|

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Druidia Order." I announced.

"Did you have to name us after a planet in your favorite Star Wars movie?" asked the raven-haired time-traveller Wilbur Robinson.

"Spaceballs is not a Star Wars movie, Wilbur." Currently undercover spy, Walter Beckett told him.

Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Did your dad teach you anything about Star Wars?" asked blonde enpath/ hockey-player from Wisconsin, Riley Anderson.

"Only that he hated the sequels, he loves the originals, and respects what the prequels tried to do." Wilbur said.

"Can we please get to the topic at hand please?" I asked everyone.

Everyone in the room grumbled out a yes and we continued with the precedings. Wow. That sounds way too formal for me.

"Well what can we do? We already made allies with the Arendelle trolls via Elsa and Anna. We had Grand Pabbie alert the Trollhunter of the Nightmares." said Ted Wiggins.

"Which means a group of you have to go find the essence stones." Megamind appeared with a plate of, "who wants cookies?"

"Are you growing soft on us, Meg?" Megamind basically growled at Wilbur for the nickname he used.

"I am trying to babysit Gru's oldest daughter and her friends." Megamind told him looking the kid dead in the eye.

"What do you know of the essence stones?" I asked him, ignoring the intense staredown happening between the two makes.

Megamind turned his attention away from Wilbur only for the time-traveller to blow a raspberry at him and Megamind to turn back and glare at him I rolled my eyes. The same old stupid antics. "I know where you can find the essence stone of the ocean."

"If you tell me we have to befriend Poseidon or-."

"It's in Atlantis." Megamind said.

"Or that." I facepalmed. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I have an evil underwater lair in the city of Atlantis." Cue another facepalm from me.

"And why...? You know what? I don't want to know. So how are we getting there?" I asked.

"It's not a matter of how we, but rather how who is getting there." Megamind said.

"That makes no sense whatsoever, dude." Hiro said as he walked into the room followed by Lucy Tuchi.

"Some of us will go on the mission while the rest research the rest of the essence stones." Megamind suggested.

"You know... your ideas are normally terrible. But this one is actually a good idea." Wilbur told him.

The alien growled. "Easy now, Megamind. When we heading out? And who is coming along for the ride?"

"You, Rayla, Ezran, Callum, Sisu, Hiccup, Jack, Light Furry, Walter, and Toothless." Megamind told us. "And you will leave tomorrow. After school."

"Alright. Before we do anymore planning, I need pizza." I walked over to where Hiro plopped the pizza on.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL HERE]}| "

I cannot believe he has the audacity for this! He knows we're not on the best of terms, and yet he does this." I sighed.

"I'm sure he has a reason." said Hiro.

"It's Megamind. It's a stupid-ass reason." I told him.

Hiro sighed. "But you miss hanging out with Toby and Jim. And you-."

"Don't even finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say." Hiro gapped at me. "I know what you were going to say. Only three people know it. And one betrayed me."

My phone vibrated in my hoodie's pocket and I opened it up to see a text from my grandmother, Margaret. "Is that Marge? What she said?"

"She's wondering about the you-know-what with the you-know-who." I told him. She wants to know about James Lake Jr being the Trollhunter. Grandpa would not be pleased with this anyway. But he's dead. And he doesn't matter.

"You have gym next block right?" I groaned. Of course I forgot. And why of all days did we have to do the Pacer test today!

"And we're doing the pacer test today too!" I would have banged my head on a locker if we weren't coming from History. "Kill me now! Woe is me!"

"Stop being overdramatic. And I'm off my way to Robotics." Hiro said once we got to the hall where we would part ways.

"Don't take over the world of robotics without your team first." I called out to gim.

"Yeah, yeah. Just focus on making chemistry after gym, but preferably during." the smart-ass called back.

I'm gonna kill him one of these days. Just you wait, Hiro Hamada. I grumbled and continued on my way to the ends of the earth. Also known as gym. Because I lack the athletic ability of a worm. My arms are basically noodles before submerged in H20. I got dressed in my PE clothes and walked outside to the bleachers where I plopped myself down on. Gym. The one class I don't have my safety net to catch me. The one block where I feel alone. Completely and helplessly alone.

"Hey, [Y/N]. Mind if we sit here?" asked Toby.

It was just him and Jim. What on Earth are they up to? I scooted some ways away from my spot and patted the spot beside me. Jim took the spot beside me while Toby took the bench in front of us.

"We haven't hung out just the three of us in awhile, huh?" Toby remarked.

"You both seem busy since the semester started. I can't blame you for that one."  I told them. The pair shrugged at me, but it was a lying shrug. I would know. I do the same ones. "Anyway, what are we doing for our History Project, Jamie?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know. Wanna brainstorm some ideas after school?" Jim asked me.

"Can't. I have a family thing." Lying to them has gotten harder since I found out. Hopefully they don't catch. But they're idiots. They won't catch on... I hope. "I can come over tomorrow after school if you want."

"That... Th-th-th-that'll be gr-gr-gr-great." What's with the stammer? It's weird. "Oh, don't forget about Pig Zombies on Saturday."

"Don't worry. I have it all set in my calendar. So, what time is the movie?" I asked them.

Toby and Jim shared a look. Oh that is never good. "We don't actually know."

"Then, what are we going to do about Saturday?" I asked them.

"We're more of idea men." Like they're any close to being men. "Creating a plan is someone else's problem." Of course.

"You two haven't changed at all, have you? I'll get to work on that sometime this evening. You guys still have email, righr?" I asked them.

"Who still uses e-mail anymore?" Toby inquired.

"Good point. I'll just have Lucy drive us to the theater anyway." I replied. "So, how are you and Claire going, Jamie?"

"O-o-o-oh, m-m-me and Claire?" stammered Jim. That's strange.

"Yes, you and Claire. You two are dating, aren't you?" I asked him.

"Oh, y-y-yeah. We're g-g-g-good." Hmm. Peculiar. But Jim's always been like this when pertaining to Claire. Nothing suspicious about that.

I hope.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

Jim

"So, you have a study date with [Y/N] tomorrow huh?" Claire teased me while we walked to Blinky's library.

"What-. Wait! You told her!" I exclaimed to Toby who was on my left side.

"Of course, I did. Dude, you've been hopelessly obliviously in love with this girl since she stole your first kiss on the monkey bars when we were nine. And she-."

"She clearly has feelings for you, but she's not gonna act upon them since you know we're fake dating and all that jazz." Claire said.

I sighed. "You're the smart one. Couldn't you have come up with something... um... better?"

"What? Because a wuss like you was going to ask her out if I didn't say we were dating?" Claire asked him, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

I sighed once more. She clearly had a point. And Tobes seemed to catch it too. "He tried to ask her if she wanted to go see Pig Zombie 6 for her sixteenth birthday, but dragged me along with them because he wussed out of calling it a date."

Claire tapped her chin in thought. I do not understand girls. Then, she did the thing where you smack your fist against your hand in an aha! idea moment. Which is what transpired next. "I have a perfect idea for your movie date on Saturday."

"Am I going to regret this?" I asked her.

"I hope not. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not." Yea me! Internal frown.

We made it Blinky's library in which the four arm troll was talking animatedly to Vendell. About Essence Stones? What the fuzz buckets are those?

"Um, what are the Essence Stones?" I piped up.

"The Essence Stones are the only thing that can combat the Oncoming Storm." Vendel explained.

"Which is why we should be looking for them! We already know where one is! The Sea Stone!" Blinky told him.

"I already told you the Starling has this under control. This is her fight. Not ours. We shouldn't-."

"But then why have Pabbie tell us about the resurgence anyways?!" Blinky cut him off. I don't think Blinky has ever interrupted Vendel before. This is a first.

"Because to warn us of an even greater danger, Blinkous!! One that we have to face on our own! As Trolls!" the elder roared.

I never saw a look of fear as intense as the look that crossed Blinky's face when Vendel told him that. A greater danger? Even Aaarrrggghh! and Draal had the same look as Blinky. What did it all mean? Vendel left the library.

"I don't care what the goat says. We're getting the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"And how do we acquire it?" asked Claire.

"Hate Gyre." Aaarrrgghh! cried. Oh.

"And where would we find the Sea Stone?" Toby asked. "It's underwater right? And we can't breathe in water? So is it in an aquarium? Washed up on a beach?"

"I'll tell you where when we get to the Gyre." Claire, Toby, and I shared a look before shrugging our shoulders and following Blinky to the Gyre.

When we got there, we reached the Gyre and hopped in. "So, where are we going?"

"Under the sea. In an underwater palace where there is no water inside located in what you humans refer to as The Bermuda Triangle. Get ready for Atlantis." And before the three of us could protest, Blinky put in the coordinates and we zipped off towards... did he really say Atlantis? And the Bermuda Triangle?

But I didn't have time to question it as we arrived in a palace? And our clothes were soaking wet. But we never submerged in water? You know what? I shouldn't question it. Me and my friends huddled for warmth. It'll be awhile before we're dry. But why isn't- you know what? Never mind. I don't care.

"Okay, so where do we go first?" asked Toby.

"We head for the treasure room. The Jewel of Atlantis is the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"Why are we wet, but you aren't?" asked Claire.

"No clue." Blinky shrugged his shoulders.

The three of us grumbled but followed after Blinky with Aaarrrgghh! and Draal taking the rear. This is going to be a long evening. Our little group trudged, our squeaky footprints giving our location to anyone who would be here. And I think someone was here. Because a familiar ball of silver and blue was charging at us. Not us. Me. Followed by a march larger greenish-blue dragon.

"Hi, Azymondias." I said to the baby dragon when he jumped into my arms.

"I see you humans have already met the Prince. Starling's Zym seems to like you Mr Lake." the green-ish blue dragon said. Um... do dragons normally...

"YOU TALK?!?!" Thanks for that, Tobes.

"Of course, I do. I'm Sisu. Starling sent me after Little Azymondias to make sure he stayed out of trouble." Why aren't Blinky, Aarrrgghh!, and Draal freaking out about there being another dragon? And the elf being here?

"You six, now-seven, looking for the Treasure Room?" asked Sisu.

I shivered as a breeze went by. Why was there a breeze? We're in a dry castle underwater! This is just too weird.

"We were headed that way right now!" Blinky told the dragon.

Azymondias coughed. Or sneezed? I don't know. But he zapped me and I yelped and I'm... dry? Well alot dryer than before. Uh, thank you. Living dryer thay could kill me at any given moment. But you're still cute. So you're forgiven if you do.

"Well I wouldn't go that way! That's where Meg put his evil lair at." Sisu told us.

"Lair?" "Meg?"

"Meg is what the time-traveler calls Megamind. And he placed a lair here when he was going through his 'evil' phase." I did not know Dragons did air quotes.

"Time Traveler? Like the Doctor? Or Loki?" askes Toby.

"Looks like a mix of Matt Smith and Loki as a tween with too much hair gel. Alright, kids follow me." Sisu told us.

Zym appeared on my shoulder, wrapping his small body around on my shoulder and we followed the hopping dragon towards the treasure room. We had reached the treasure room, avoiding all the traps (that was on the ceiling for some strange reason). We arrived there. And Sisu peered inside before letting us enter. Strange.

But I couldn't help peering over Sisu's sboulder "Are you really angry that the Trollhunter keeps unknowingly stealing your pet?" That sounded like... no it can't be.

"Azymondias is not my pet. My pet sounds like I chose to take care of him. The bundle of zappy madness chose me to take care of him. So if anything, I'm his pet." Please tell me that's not who I think it is. But the-I'm guessing- Startouch Elf looks nothing like her. Not one bit. Well maybe except for the nose. And the eyes.

"You make absolutely no sense. And yet you love him anyway." the other voice said. A male with slick-back hair. This must be the time-traveler Wow. Sisu was spot on.

"Kids, easy now. We wouldn't want this to get into the wrong hands. Not this close to the Cotillion." A brunette male that appeared to be the oldest of the group. Why does he look so familiar to me?

"I have a question for you, pig snout. Meg said you wouldn't be here. Why the hell are you here? And why are you even here?" the elf asked.

"I stowed away because none of you are smart." the time-traveller said.

"Says the royal dumbass." the female elf sighed. "I'm so young and yet I feel so old." she emphasized. I was half expecting her to do a dramatic fall like they always seem to do in soap operas notthatIwatchsoapoperasinthefirstplacethat'sabsurd.

"I already knew that, dumbass." time-traveler said.

"Go on, Trollhunter." Sisu used her tail to push me toward the elf's group to retrieve the essence stone. "Introduce yourself."

And suddenly I stumbled upon the room making the group's attention turn to me. "Um...hi." Cue the awkward wave. "I'm... James Lake Jr? I'm the... Trollhunter." I held out the Amulet of Merlin. I could practically sense Toby and Claire facepalming at this.

"Starling, I think this one is for you to handle." I now noticed the brunette boy that stood beside the other elf. Is that... Callum Schlott?? Um... I hope if that is him, he doesn't tell [Y/N] about this.

"I am the one they refer to as Starling as you must know. And we don't need you here. To help us." The girl's hand were running up and down a strand of her waist length periwinkle hair. [Y/N] did the same thing when she had long hair. Not the time Jim.

"I think we do. Because the Seastone is missing if you've forgotten." the other elf said. She sounds like Rayla. And sort of looks like her too.

"THE SEASTONE IS GONE!?!?!?" Blinky exclaimed.

"Unfortunately so. Now, one advantage turns out to be a setback." I didn't notice the other brunette who had a black dragon that was acting like a cat by his feet.

"Do you have any leads?" asked Claire as she stepped forward.

"Just a Roman Penny. No clue from where though." Starling told us. "Now, I think it's time you kids return to California. Don'tyouthink."

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

"So Atlantis was a flopp?" I had already told Draal about the whole atlantis situation.

Luckily mom had another night shift at the hospital, so Draal could walk around freely while I made dinner for myself. Elbow Pasta and Meat Sauce it appears to be.

"Yes, it was, Draal." I turned the TV on and started flipping through the channels to find the one I wanted. "At least, I met Starling. She was not what I was expecting."

"Most elves aren't. You humans expect them to be small and cute because of the Claus, but they aren't." Draal told me.

"Actually, I think," I found what I was looking for. The French food competition show the World's Greatest Chef Competiton. "she was the exact opposite of what all of you were saying. Sure she was a tad harsh to us, but I think she didn't want to involve us in the Essence Stones. Like she didn't want anymore added help. I don't know." A knock sounded on the door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" asked Draal.

"Not that I know. Toby and Claire wouldn't knock. They'll just barge on in." I told him.

And before I got to the door, the door opened to reveal a boy with white hair, incredibly pale skin wearing a blue sweatshirt and brown trousers. "Don't be such a pussy, Hiccup." That was Sisu.

"Yeah, we're only here since Zym wants the trollhunter to be his dragon rider and to train him how to combat magic." white hair said.

"Um... what are you doing at my house?" I asked them as I held my wooden spoon in my hand, ready to strike them if necessary.

"You and Punzie would be great friends, squirt." The platinum blonde ruffled my brown hair to make it messy. My hair now looks like the dragon boy's hair.

"We're here to train you. I'm Hiccup. And this is Jack. Jack Frost." Wait. What? I'm lost. "I live over in Berk Manor. And you have wandered in a den where you cannot get out of." the brunnette introduced.

"Which is why Starling didn't want you to get involved. By trying to help us with the Seastone, you and your friends have put a target on your back. Starling didn't want that. But now we have to help you. To train you. Hiccup here is a Dragon Rider. And even though Azymondias isn't big enough to be ridden. He will be. I suspect sooner than you think, so he's going to train you to ride him. And I and many others are going come here to help you train against magic. Since the people who will come after you to kill you will have magic." Jack Frost told me. Now I'm really lost.

"So let's begin."

@trollhuntersfanatic

[cancerbiophd]

Hey! I’m sure this is a question you get asked a lot but how did you decide that a PhD was for you? I’m about to enter the last year of my undergrad and have really enjoyed the lab work I’ve done previously but it feels like a rather large commitment when I’m not 100% sure I’m going to end up in research at the end of it. I was just wondering how you knew it was what you wanted to do!

Hello!

I actually have never been asked that question before, which was surprising for me too. I get a lot of “how did you know lab research was right for you”, but never specifically about how I knew a PhD was right for me (or maybe I did and I just didn’t answer it well), so I’m really glad you asked!

As you said, it really does come down to answering yes to both these statements: 

The career path I want is best accomplished with a PhD

I am willing to commit to the challenging journey of 5-6 years of grad school (+1-3 years of being a post-doc, if applicable to your field)

So here are the reasons how I knew getting a PhD was the best past for me:

I loved research. And I loved research beyond just doing benchwork--I loved the brainstorming, the experimental design, the analyzing of results, the troubleshooting of the unexpected, the dissecting of both broad and fine details as you solve a puzzle, the moment when you realize you just discovered something no one else has ever seen before, and communicating those exciting results. I was infatuated. When I was working as a lab tech in a cancer research lab after undergrad there were nights where I couldn’t sleep because my brain just would not stop brainstorming new ideas and questions about my research. I told that to a current grad student in the lab at the time and he was like “You know what that means? You have the mind of a grad student.”

And I wanted to broaden my skillsets. I could do a few techniques really well, but I really wanted to learn more, and I also wanted to learn more about those techniques--why do this, and not an alternative? What would happen if we tried this? I wanted to explore more. 

Going off of that, I wanted to keep learning. And not just looking up wikipedia articles by myself; I wanted formal training (because I had no idea what I needed to learn). And I’ve always been good at learning in a classroom setting so I knew I would excel at that part in grad school. 

It would lead me to the career path I wanted, which was to work at a biotech company as a leader of a research team and then become a consultant. True, a PhD is not required for that in many cases, but a PhD would better prepare me for those roles

I enjoyed writing and orally communicating about my research. PhD’s do metric ton of writing (grants, papers, reports, etc) and oral presentations (conferences, meetings, collaborations, etc). And I really enjoyed (and was good at) all that. 

I wanted to be in a position where I could lead and mentor. As someone with the highest degree in the room, institutions look to the PhDs for direction. So PhDs will become leaders--whether it’s a lab of their own in academia, or a team in an industry setting, etc. Even grad students have undergrads, or have to TA. And I was ready for, and wanted, all that. 

I was good at wearing a lot of hats. PhDs don’t just do a singular task; during grad school we learn to be versatile (you have to be in an academic lab setting), and that versatility carries through later as we become excellent multitaskers and are good at adapting to new challenges. And as someone who has always successfully juggled school and work and multiple extracurriculars, and had experience being a rockin lab manager (in the lab I worked in after undergrad), I knew I was up to it. 

I loved working by myself but I also loved working as a team--and that’s a necessity for research in general, even for non-PhDs, but PhDs are more likely to have to excel at both. 

I was mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially ready for the challenges and commitment of 5-6 years of grad school (plus 1-3 years of being a post-doctoral fellow, if applicable). Grad school is tough as balls, and you have to be just as tough, or at least have the resources to help you. I took a gap year of 2.5 years after undergrad to a) figure out what the heck I wanted to do/get research experience and b) mature to the point where I could be ready for something like grad school. I feel that working as a full-time lab tech really allowed me to immerse myself into the closest setting of a grad student in my field as possible. Being there 40 hrs/week really is different than when you’re an undergrad researcher popping in for 2 hours/day. I also took a grad-level class to see if I could mentally balance class and research. I know that’s obviously not an option available to everyone (nor is it necessary), but that’s just how I knew that every part of me could handle the rigors of grad school. 

Going off of that, I had a lot of grit and discipline. Sometimes that’s all you have left to get you through the day in grad school when everything else feels depleted. Grad students do a lot of things they’re not motivated to do, but we gotta get it done anyway, and sometimes grit is all we have to make our limbs move. 

PhD holders and PhD students at the time were telling me I’d be great at pursuing one. They know better than anyone what it takes, and they knew I was ready. 

Also dang, I’d be lying if I said money didn’t play a role in it. I graduated college in 2011 during the grand ol recession, and the job market stunk. I saw that options for biology majors were slim to none (I was extremely lucky to have found my lab tech job), so I knew I had to either wait it out until the job market bounced back, or make myself a more attractive candidate for the workforce, or both! (Let’s not talk about the economy during Covid lol). Also, the thought of making over 100k with a PhD was attractive. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, but money does buy happiness, because money buys food and a roof over your head and warm clothes and healthcare and hobbies so uh, yeah, I did get the highest degree possible partially for the money. 

So why not a Masters? That’s a good question!! And the truth is: I didn’t know I could accomplish most of what I wanted with a Masters. And that was my fault for not doing my own research, but I think I was just.. surrounded by PhDs (both in my academic lab setting and in my family) and the thought of doing a Masters never really occurred to me. Also, idk, I knew in my heart and in my bones I wanted a PhD, so I’m not sure if I would be happy with a Masters. 

Lastly, because this list is personal to me, getting a PhD would get me off my mom’s shit-list and end her endless emotional abuse towards me being worthless, etc. Long story, but yeah, it did factor into it as kind of a bonus point. 

So thar’s my spiel.  

One last thing I want to add: though continuing research is the most common career path for PhD holders, it’s not the only one. Here’s what else is available for PhDs (from the book Career Opportunities in Biotechnology and Drug Development by Toby Freedman)

If the image is hard to see, there are 4-ish main branches, and then some sub-branches (and even more specialized sub-branches that aren’t labeled):

R&D: Discovery research, preclinical research, bio/pharmaceutical product development, project management, clinical development, regularly affairs, medical affairs

Services: Recruiting, law, venture capital & banking, management consulting

Operations: Bio IT, quality, operations

Commercial Operations: Business development, corporate communications, product support, sales, marketing

And that’s just in the industry sector--academia, government, and non-academia/non-govt research institutions are also obviously available as career choices, though those would focus more on R&D (and also teaching). 

You obviously don’t need to know the specifics of your career path before committing to grad school, but I think you should have a general idea that what you want to do would best be accomplished with a PhD. 

If you’re still on the fence, I would advise:

Talking to more grad students or degree holders--both PhD and Masters (our Gradblr Discord is great for that!)--to paint a bigger picture.

Informational interviews are also great, especially if you’re interested in learning more about those career paths above. 

You can also explore the field a bit more in-person by starting off with a Masters (less time commitment than a PhD, though more expensive), or an entry-level research job like I did. 

Best of luck! 

[dragonsaphirareads]

I Am Creativity (3/5)

I didn’t post this originally cause it’s so long and copying it was a pain. But I figured out formatting without doing it manually!

Read the fic on AO3

The soft scratch of a pencil on paper was the only sound in the room, punctured occasionally by the harsh rip and crumple of paper.

The young kid sitting at the desk groaned, putting his pencil down and rubbing at his eyes. He glanced at the waste basket next to his desk and pouted when he saw it was overflowing, crumpled balls of paper strewn all over the floor.

He huffed. He would come up with a good idea for storytime tomorrow. He would come up with the best story any of Thomas’s classmates had ever heard. He just... needed to focus.

Footsteps came down the hall and stopped outside his door. The young kid panicked, switching off his lamp and hurling himself across the room onto his bed, kicking the blanket over himself as his visitor slowly opened the door.

“Creativity? Are you still awake?”

He tried to steady his breathing, to pretend he was asleep.

“I can see you’re still wearing your day clothes, Creativity, you aren’t fooling me.”

Dang it, he was busted. Creativity sat up in his bed, pouting at his bespeckled visitor.

“I was just trying to brainstorm for tomorrow! Just a little longer, Logic, I know I can come up with something good!” The young kid insisted. Logic shook his head.

“Thomas needs to sleep, and he can’t do that if you’re keeping him awake and giving him ideas. Just go to bed, you can work on it tomorrow.”

“But Logiiiiiiic!”

“Don’t make me get Morality.”

Creativity huffed, collapsing back on the bed. “Fiiiine!” He whined.

“Good night, Creativity.”

Creativity didn’t respond, instead rolling over and facing away from the door, pouting. Logic just rolled his eyes and left, closing the door quietly.

Creativity laid there and listened for Logic’s footsteps to leave, and when he heard a door close he leapt out of bed and dove for his desk, switching on the lamp and going back to his notetaking. He would come up with something for Thomas tonight, so he could sleep peacefully.

After about an hour, Creativity was nodding off, head bobbing up and down as he tried desperately to stay awake. The notebook in front of him was still blank and the waste basket’s contents had only grown. All the ideas that had popped into his head were immediately rejected by Thomas, and he was just tired.

His head hit the desk with a soft thunk and Creativity started snoring.

Soon after he fell asleep, the kid started whimpering. His eyes darted around under his eyelids, and he curled his hand over his heart. His breath became shallow and he started hyperventilating, his body heating up uncomfortably.

There was a loud crash, and Creativity started awake to see the sun streaming through his window and a small puddle of drool that had seeped into the paper. His heart raced, and Creativity felt like there was a hole in his chest.

A quiet cough startled him, and when he looked down at the floor he couldn’t believe his eyes.

There was another kid lying on the floor, next to the upset waste basket which had probably made the loud noise. He wore the same outfit as Creativity, though it was gray rather than white. Creativity watched as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

“Who... who are you?”

The kid on the floor looked up. “Me? I’m Creativity.”

“H-huh?! You can’t be Creativity! I’m Creativity!”

The gray-clad kid stood up, putting his hands on his hips. “Yes I can, because I am!”

“No you’re not!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No--”

“Creativity, who are you talking to?”

Logic’s voice came from the door, and the two arguing kids looked at each other with wide eyes.

“Uh... myself?” The original Creativity said, and the other snickered.

“Alright then... Morality’s making breakfast. I’m going to wake Passion.”

“Ok!” Creativity listened for the footsteps to retreat before turning back to the new kid. “So... we’re both Creativity? But how?”

The other shrugged. “I dunno! But I’m hungry, are we going to eat?”

Even though he was still confused, Creativity couldn’t help but agree. They could figure this out after breakfast.

~~~

“Morality! Morality! Look, I have a new friend!”

Creativity called out as he entered the kitchen, his twin close behind him. Morality didn’t turn around from the stove where he was making breakfast.

“Oh really? That’s good!”

“We’re hungry! What’s for breakfast?”

“Pancakes!”

“With Mickey Mouse ears?”

“Of course!”

“Yay!” Creativity cheered, turning to look at his twin. He stopped when he saw his eyes narrowed, staring at the back of Morality’s head. “Uh, are you ok?”

“I’m fine, Creativity, why don’t you go sit down?” Morality answered, making a shooing motion.

“I wasn’t talking to you, Morality! I was talking to him!”

Morality laughed. “Oh, right, your new friend! What’s their name, Creativity?”

“Uh… Creativity.”

The moral side paused, laughing awkwardly. “That’s a bit confusing, don’t you think? You’re Creativity, there can’t be two of you.”

“Well… there are.” The darker twin said, hands on his hips. Grabbing the plate of hot pancakes, Morality turned around to gently persuade Creativity to maybe pick another name for his new friend. Instead, he froze. There were… two… Creativities…

His hands shook, and his grip faltered. The plate of pancakes plunged to the ground, shattering into pieces with a deafening clatter.

“Five second rule!” The gray one cheered, diving to grab the hot cakes. The one in white stood stock still, meeting Morality’s eyes with a shrug.

Morality couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say in the situation, so instead he reached out to the kid in gray and attempted to take the pancakes from him. “Don’t eat from the floor, there’s broken pieces!”

The kid dodged out of his reach, sticking his tongue out and wrinkling his nose. He shoved a full pancake into his mouth, unbothered by the pieces of ceramic stuck to it or the steam still rising from them.

“They’re mine!” He exclaimed through the mouthful. Morality took a step back, looking between the twins in surprise and fear as the one in white reached for a pancake from his brother’s arms, and promptly got his hand slapped away.

“Logic!!!” All Morality could do was call for backup. Thankfully, a voice answered him as he heard two pairs of footsteps come into the kitchen.

“Yes, Morality? I heard something break, is everything alright?” Logic asked. Passion peeked around him and he gasped. He dashed past Logic and ran up to the twins, eyes twinkling.

“Creativity! There’s two of you?! Since when?!”

The white clad one spun to face his friend. “Since last night! I fell asleep at my desk and when I woke up, he was lying on the floor!” He pointed to his twin, who nodded, mouth still stuffed. Passion smiled widely, clapping.

“That’s so cool!”

“Creativity, are you saying you went back to your desk even after I told you it was bedtime?” Logic walked up, eyebrows raised. The white Creativity laughed nervously, but before Logic could scold him, he was yanked away.

“Logic, what do we do?!” Morality hissed, keeping his voice low as the other three sides went back to their own discussion. Logic looked at him through the corner of his eye, thinking.

“We haven’t had a new side join us in a while... not since Passion arrived a few years ago. I guess we’ll have to make a new room.”

“But he’s not a new side! He said he’s Creativity! There’s two of them now!”

“That’s... not possible. We’re all different, there cannot be more than one of each of us.”

Morality shrugged helplessly. “Well... there are!”

Logic sighed, easing his arm out of Morality’s vicelike grip. “There’s nothing we can do right now. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens. For all we know, this is a prank Creativity is trying to pull on us. There’s no reason to worry. Even if there are two Creativities now, why does it matter? It’s unlikely they’ll cause more trouble than before.”

The two looked over and realized that the twins and Passion weren’t standing there anymore. Then they heard a loud crash from somewhere in the mindscape, and the start of an argument. Logic pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You were saying?”

~~~

That was when we split... when we became brothers, rather than one single person. We never really knew why it happened, but then again, we were just kids. What else could we do but accept it?

We got along in those days. Even though we were split, we were still joined at the hip. I think we gave Morality and Logic a headache.

~~~

“We need names.”

Creativity looked at his gray-clad twin, tilting his head up from where he was drawing on the floor to the bed where the other Creativity was lying upside down watching.

“What do you mean? We already have a name, it’s Creativity.”

The one lying on the bed huffed. “But we can’t both be Creativity! It’s so confusing!”

“Well, that’s what we are! We can’t call ourselves Logic or Morality, that’s not what we’re for!”

“But what if we had other names besides Creativity? That way they can tell us apart!”

The Creativity on the floor stopped, his pencil hovering over the paper. “We can… do that?”

“Why not? Who’s gonna stop us?”

“I guess so… did you have an idea?”

The darker of the two grinned and grabbed the book he’d been reading earlier and held it up for his twin.

“Did you steal that from Logic?”

“That’s not important. Look.” He flipped through the pages, opening it up to a pencil illustration of a wolf and two young children next to her. He held it out to his twin, who rolled his eyes.

“It’s upside down.”

“You’re so picky!” The gray twin groaned, rolling over on the bed so both he and the book were right side up. “There, happy?”

“Why are you showing me this?”

“It’s the story of how Rome was made. There were these two brothers, Romulus and Remus, and they were raised by a wolf, and then they went on to create the huge Roman Empire!”

The lighter one seemed unconvinced. “Ok, but what does that have to do with us?”

“Isn’t it obvious, dummy? We’re going to create things that are just as great as they did, don’t we deserve to have cool names like them?”

“I get to be Romulus!”

“Wha-hey, no fair, why do you get to pick first?”

Creativity sat up, crossing his legs and puffing his chest out. “Because I’m older and that means I get to pick first!”

“We’re the same age! Ugh, fine, Remus is the name I wanted anyways! Romulus sounds like a grandpa!”

The white-clad twin pouted. “No it doesn’t!”

“Yeah, it does!”

“Well, then, I’m not gonna use it!”

“But we have to match! We’re Creativity, we both need to have names that fit!”

“Fine! Then I’ll change it to sound cooler! How about... Roman?”

The gray Creativity - Remus - nodded. “Ok! Let’s go tell the others!” He rolled off the bed and grinned. “Race you!”

The white Creativity - Roman - jumped to his feet and chased his brother out the door.

~~~

“I win!” Remus cheered, throwing his hands up in celebration as Roman groaned.

“No fair, you pushed me against the wall!”

“You tried to trip me!” Came the reply.

Logic closed the book he was reading and looked up from the couch at the two of them. “What’s going on? Why were you running?”

Roman stepped forward, putting an arm in front of his brother and not so subtly shoving him to the side.

“Morality! Logic! Passion! Gather round, we have something to tell you!” Roman said in the proudest voice he could. Passion glanced at him from where he was seated on the ground in front of the TV, and Morality peeked his head out from the kitchen.

“What is it kiddo?”

Roman opened his mouth to announce the news, but Remus beat him to it.

“We have names now!”

Logic raised an eyebrow. “Of course you do, you’re Creativity. That’s not new information to us.”

Roman shook his head. “No, he means we have different names now! My name is Roman, and this is Remus!” He gestured to his brother, then took a wide bow. He heard Logic mumble something about a missing book under his breath.

“Does that mean you’re not Creativity anymore?!” Passion asked worriedly, leaning forward with his hand over his heart.

“No, we are! But it’s too confusing if we’re both named Creativity! We never know which one of us you’re talking to! So we picked new names, names that we can use besides Creativity, so there’s no more confusion!”

Morality stepped into the common room, eyes full of confusion and concern. “But... you two are Creativity. You can’t just change that because you want to.”

“Why not?” Remus challenged, puffing his chest out and putting his hands on his hips. Morality looked down at him, chewing his lip.

“Well, because... because we’re just sides of Thomas. If we have names, it’s like we’re saying we’re our own people, and we’re not.”

“But Thomas doesn’t need to know! He can just know us as Creativity! The names are just for us to use!” Roman said, slightly worried that Morality wouldn’t let this go.

From the couch, Logic cleared his throat. “Morality, it’s alright. I think it’s a good idea.”

“Wh-what?”

“They’re correct in that it’s been confusing to refer to both of them as Creativity. If they want to give themselves names to differentiate from each other, then I don’t see why we should say no.”

Remus grinned cheekily. “Good! Cause we were gonna do it whether you liked it or not!”

Morality scowled, but Passion stood and raced over to the twins, grabbing their hands and squeezing them tightly. “I want to have a name too! Can I have one? Please? I promise I’ll pick a good one!”

“Hey now, I don’t know about that--” Morality started.

“Yes!” Roman cheered. “We should all have names!”

“No!” Morality said sternly. The trio looked at him, Passion pouting.

“Why not?”

“Those two are only allowed names because there’s two of them, and they’re both Creativity. Is there another Passion I should know about?”

“Well... no, but... it would be fun to have a different name...” Passion mumbled, eyes staring at the floor. Morality smiled softly, ruffling the younger’s hair.

“Maybe, but we were just talking about clearing up confusion. Wouldn’t it be more confusing if we now knew you by two different names? How would we know what to call you each time?”

Passion huffed. “I guess...”

The twins shared a glance. Well, they had their names! As long as they got to keep them, that’s what they cared about. Roman took Passion’s hand.

“C’mon Passion, let’s go to the Imagination and play!”

Passion brightened immediately, nodding. “Ok!”

Logic watched as the three took off for the doorway to the Imagination, and Morality collapsed onto the couch with a sharp exhale.

“Those three sure are a handful, aren’t they?” Morality smiled. Logic opened his book again, picking up where he left off.

“Would it have been so bad to let Passion pick a human name for himself?” He asked after a moment.

“We can’t just let them do whatever they want, Logic. There needs to be some line.”

“A harmless name that would function as no more than a nickname seems like a strange place to draw that line, Morality.” Logic stated, turning the page.

“W-Well, that’s where it is. Creativity is just confused right now. He’ll figure it out eventually and then we’ll go back to how we were. Everything will turn out right in the end.”

Logic lifted his head, staring over at Morality cautiously. “I know you’ve had a hard time accepting it, but Creativity is no longer one person, Morality. For whatever unknown reason, he was split into two distinct sides, and we should be treating them as such.”

“But I still don’t understand why?! If they’re both Creativity, why did they split in the first place?” Morality twisted his hair between his fingers, clearly stressed about the question. Logic sighed.

“I don’t know yet. But regardless of the reason, they are separate people now. Crea-- Roman and Remus deserve to be treated the same as when they were a single Creativity.” Logic corrected himself, staring at Morality and leaving no room for debate.

The moral side pursed his lips, but before he could think of another way to explain his point to Logic, the scent of burning sugar wafted to him and he jumped to his feet.

“The cookies!”

~~~

I’d forgotten... the names, they were his idea. I wonder if that was why Patton was so against them at the beginning.

He’d never liked me, not since the day I showed up. I didn’t care - as long as I had my brother, that was all I needed.

~~~

“Hyah!”

Remus called out a battle cry as he swung his playsword at his brother, who blocked it. Roman pushed him away, swinging back with a cry of his own.

The twins raced down the hallway, swatting at each other and laughing. They were covered in scratches and bruises, with a particularly dark one on the side of Roman’s jaw and a long one developing on Remus’s lower back, but it didn’t deter them from their game.

“You shall perish, you dastardly villain!” Roman recited, holding his sword up in triumph. Remus laughed, dodging a strike.

“You’ve gotta catch me first, slowpoke!” Remus taunted, sticking his tongue out. Roman ran forward, clashing against his brother and throwing them both to the floor. Remus puffed out a breath as he landed, grappling against Roman to shove him to the side.

The younger ended up on top of his brother, his knee shoved into the other’s rib cage and his arms pinning Roman’s to the ground. Roman coughed, trying to kick his way out of the hold.

“I’ve got you!” Remus crooned.

“What’s going on here?”

The twins looked up at the voice, with Roman having to tilt his head backwards to see Morality staring down at them, eyebrows furrowed.

“We’re playing!”

“You’re covered in bruises! Remus, get off of him!” Morality scolded, pulling Remus off by his shoulder. The gray clad Creativity fell hard on his butt and whined, but Morality’s attention was focused on Roman. He helped the side sit up and gently prodded at the bruise on his cheek.

“What did you-- I mean, what have you two been doing?” Morality caught himself, directing his glare at Remus. The side crumpled slightly under his gaze, though his eyes burned with resentment.

“Please don’t be mad, we were just messing around!” Roman tried to explain. Morality sighed, gently looking over Roman one more time.

“I don’t like you two fighting like that, you could get seriously hurt. Why don’t you two play a game that doesn’t involve hitting each other? Logic has some board games in his room.” He suggested.

Remus wrinkled his nose, crossing his legs and pulling his ankles towards him. “But that’s so boring! You never let us do anything fun!”

Morality recoiled slightly, recovering with a forced smile. “But it’s not fun to hurt each other, right? Why don’t you play something else?”

“But I’m a prince, Morality! I need to be able to defeat evil and protect my kingdom!” Roman argued, waving his play sword around for emphasis. Morality raised an eyebrow.

“A... prince?” He asked, confused. Roman nodded emphatically, jumping to his feet and pointing his wooden sword at his brother with his chest puffed out.

“That’s right! I’m Prince Roman, heir to the kingdom, and I will protect you and everyone else from... uh... from...”

“From the bad guys!” Remus offered, standing up and grabbing his own sword. Morality chuckled.

“What bad guys? We don’t have any of those, we’re all family here!”

Remus tilted his head. “What about the sides that sneak around here at night?”

Morality stiffened, laughing nervously. “What are you talking about, Remus? There’s nobody around here at night. Your imagination is just playing tricks on you.”

The younger twin narrowed his eyes, staring at Morality. “Yes there are. I’ve seen them. They live down the hallway, past our rooms. They stole my peanut butter.”

Morality stood, shaking his head firmly. “It was a dream, Remus. There’s nothing down that way but empty space. You shouldn’t go there.”

“If there’s nothing there, why can’t we explore there?” Remus challenged, hands on his hips. He had a triumphant, cocky grin on his face. Morality cleared his throat, standing straight. He was several inches taller than the twins, not to mention a few years older. He didn’t like that Remus was getting so mouthy.

“Because I said so!” Morality said, parroting the words Thomas himself heard so many times from his guardians. Remus and Roman pouted, and his face softened. “Because if you go too far, I can’t find you as easily and call you for dinner. Now, why don’t you two go play together in the Imagination? Maybe you can come up with a new game, one that doesn’t involve hurting each other?”

The twins shared a look. “Ok, Morality, we’ll try. C’mon Remus, we can go make a castle! We can play rescue!”

“I’m not gonna be the princess again! You can get Passion to do that!”

The twins bickered as they ran off towards the door to the Imagination, which was thankfully far away from the dark hallway where the other sides resided. Morality took in a slow breath, pushing his glasses up and rubbing at his eyes.

Being one of the first sides to exist, Morality felt obligated to look after his fellow sides. Alongside Logic, who’d appeared shortly after he did, he made sure Creativity and Passion were safe and happy. He had to protect them. But ever since the split, he was finding it harder and harder to keep his temper in check.

He wanted to separate them, keep them in soft rooms and stop them from hurting each other. Morality didn’t – couldn’t – understand why they found it necessarily to fight like that. Well, they called it playing, but Morality knew better than them. One of these days, it would go too far, and one of them would get hurt. Remus would swing just a little too hard and Roman would be gone. If that happened, Thomas would never be the same…

Morality shook his head harshly, casting a scared glance towards the dark hallway, where he could feel a cool breeze chilling his spine. He couldn’t think like that, it would bring him.

Right. To keep him at bay, he just had to keep everyone happy. He’d been doing pretty well, but he knew he could do better. Passion was still begging him to let everyone pick a human name for themselves… maybe he could reconsider his position. If it would make him happy.

If he was honest, the idea was starting to grow on him. Perhaps Roman was onto something after all.

~~~

The twins heard Passion before they saw him. Logic’s door was sitting open and they could hear his excited voice from inside.

Roman peeked his head around the doorframe. Logic was sitting at his desk, pencil in his one hand and the other twisted in his hair. Passion sat behind him on the bed, chatting away about the TV documentary Thomas had watched earlier. The room looked as organized as ever, though there was a chess board sitting on one of the tables, clearly in the middle of a game.

Logic heard footsteps and turned to them, seeming to sigh in relief. “Oh, it’s you two.”

“Sorry, we just came to see if Passion wanted to play in the Imagination with us.” Remus explained, poking his head in as well.

Passion lit up. “Yes! I’m coming!” He chirped, scrambling off of Logic’s tall bed and running over to Remus. “What are we gonna play?”

“We’re gonna make a new game! Do you wanna help?”

Passion nodded. “Of course! Let’s go!”

Logic nodded. “Be careful you two, I see that bruise on Roman’s cheek.” The twins nodded, and Passion all but pulled Remus towards the door to the Imagination. Roman started to follow. “Roman, hold on just a moment.”

He paused, looking back into the room. “Yes, Logic?” He asked, wary of another lecture. Logic sighed, tapping on the open book in front of him.

“Please try to keep Passion distracted for a while. At least until dinner time, if you can. Thomas has a test tomorrow and he needs to focus on studying. He can’t do that when Passion is distracting him with needless facts about space or whatever it was he was rambling about.”

Roman flinched back, slightly hurt by that. Passion was his best friend, after his brother. He adored the things they made, and always had the energy to talk about the things he loved. He was what spurred Roman on, more often than not.

“But he makes Thomas happy when he talks about those things.”

Logic sighed, pushing up his glasses. “Yes, but right now it’s more important to focus on school than cartoons. Once Thomas is done with his test, then he can resume whatever it was he was so invested in today.”

There was a hint of scorn in Logic’s voice. Roman nodded slowly. “Ok Logic, we’ll stay with him.”

“Thank you. That’s all I needed Roman, you can go play now.”

It was probably supposed to be an excuse to leave, but Roman couldn’t shake the feeling of being dismissed.

“Right... ah, work hard, Logic!” He cheered, closing the door quietly.

Roman took a moment to collect himself. It hurt him to think that Logic didn’t like Passion. He shook his head. No, that wasn’t it. Thomas was just stressed about his test tomorrow, so Logic just wanted to help!

Even still, he decided to keep his mouth shut about it. It made him feel icky, but it would be for the best.

~~~

When Roman found his brother and friend in the Imagination, they were already deep in very serious discussion.

“I'm not playing Princess and the Frog! I don’t care if it’s fake, I’m not kissing a frog!” Passion stomped his foot, and Remus pouted.

“Aww, c’mon Passion, even if it turned into a beautiful prince?” Remus teased, wiggling his eyebrows and puckering his lips. Passion shoved him back.

“No way! Roman, tell him I don’t want to be a princess today!”

Roman grinned widely, stepping in between his brother and best friend. “We’re going to invent a new game, something that doesn’t involve kissing of any kind! I got an idea when I saw the chess set in Logic’s room!”

Passion leaned in, excited about any idea that didn’t involve him kissing a slimy frog. Remus didn’t look as impressed.

“How are you planning on making chess interesting?” He asked, unconvinced.

“You have little faith! Just listen to me. Each of us will be on our own team. We’ll mark out a part of the Imagination as our play field. We start a timer, and within the time we have, we get to make whatever we want! It can be a building, or a maze, or a giant dragon! After the time is up, we stop creating and we use our creations to fight each other!”

Remus crossed his arms. “But how do you win?”

Roman paused, thinking. “Ummm... how about this! We hide something within our area that the other people need to find. Like a flag or something. The goal is to get everyone’s flag back to your base!”

Passion chewed his lip. “But I’m not as good at making things as you are... could I be on a team with one of you instead?”

“You can be with me, Passion—“ Remus offered, but Roman shook his head.

“No, it’s not fair if it’s two against one!”

“But it’s not fair to Passion is he has to play against us!” Remus argued back.

“That’s true... oh! What if Passion was the ref? That way he’s not on a team but he still gets to play!”

Passion beamed. “That sounds perfect!”

The trio immediately started discussing the exact rules. Roman laid out lines through the field to divide it up into two even areas, and Remus created trees and bushes to make it easier to hide. Once everything was decided, the twins went to their respective sides of the field and Passion started their timer.

They played their game for hours, round after round and victory bouncing between the two as they tweaked the rules. Somewhere along the line the goal of the game went from getting a flag to tagging the other, at Roman’s suggestion. The game wasn’t nearly as fun if he couldn’t get involved in the battle himself!

Thankfully, though the twins liked to play rough with each other, the new bruises they both received were easily hidden by their outfits. Passion was worried about them both, having witnessed the blows in person, but the twins reassured him they were fine. When Morality called for them for dinner, they made Passion promise he wouldn’t tell Morality exactly what they’d been doing, because he might make them stop.

Passion agreed - this had been the most fun game the twins had come up with, but Morality probably wouldn’t approve. With their little secret in place, the trio scampered out of the Imagination and into the kitchen, the scent of garlic bread making their stomachs growl.

The sides didn’t need to eat of course, but when Thomas was having dinner with his family, his sides liked to gather around the table as well. Morality turned as he heard the trio come into the kitchen, setting down the bowl of spaghetti noodles on the table.

“You three have been gone a long time! What were you doing?”

“Playing in the Imagination, like you told us to!” Remus told him, a hint of sass in his voice. Morality opened his mouth to scold him, then thought again and closed it, offering a tight-lipped smile instead.

“Well I’m glad you two were able to find a less destructive way to play together. I know you have fun, but it’s dangerous for Thomas if one of you gets hurt. Now, go wash your hands and we can eat!”

Logic arrived in the time it took for the three of them to wash and dry their hands, and the five of them dug in eagerly to the meal.

As they were all finishing, Morality cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“So I’ve been thinking recently... And I was wondering. Passion, do you still... want to have a human name?”

Passion curled in on himself slightly, hesitantly nodding as if afraid he would get in trouble for admitting it. Instead, Morality smiled softly at him and nodded.

“Alright then.”

The twins looked back and forth between Morality and Passion, confused. “Wait...” Roman said slowly, “I thought you said we were the only ones who got to have names?”

“I did, yes. Originally I thought that it would only confuse things if we had more than one name. Or that somehow, we may lose our purposes if we didn’t use our titles. But clearly I was wrong. So, if you still want to choose one, Passion, you can.”

Passion’s eyes lit up and he clapped his hands in front of his chest eagerly. “Yay! Thank you Morality!”

“Does that mean you two are gonna pick names too?” Remus asked, using his fork to point at Logic and Morality. The older sides glanced at each other.

“I guess we could!” Morality said. He wouldn’t deny he’d been considering the possibility for a while. He even had a few names he liked lined up.

Logic shrugged. “I suppose I can join in, though I don’t see much point in it.”

“I’ve got one!” Passion exclaimed, pounding his hands on the table and half-standing in his chair. Morality leaned over on instinct to catch him if he lost his balance. Passion lifted his chin, grinning brightly at the rest of them.

“Hello everyone, I’m Valentine Sanders! Nice to meet you!”

The twins looked at each other and grinned, clapping as their friend took an exaggerated bow. Morality smiled as well, helping Passion - Valentine - back into his seat.

As the discussion turned to possible names for Morality and Logic, two figures sat quietly on the stairs, listening in on the lively conversation. The older one was hunched over, arms wrapped around himself tightly, trying to soak in as much warmth from this side of the mindscape before they needed to go back. The smaller of the two poked his head through the banister, trying to get as close to the noise as possible, drinking it in. The scales on the side of his face glinted in the dim light that hit them, his scar bright red and angry.

“Names, huh?” The older said, tugging on the back of the younger’s shirt weakly to keep him from being seen.

“I want one too...” The younger told his friend softly, moving away from the banister and curling up against him. He instinctively put an arm around the smaller side, offering the little warmth he was managing to get.

“Then let’s pick one. For ourselves.”

The younger smiled up at him, canine teeth sharp. “It’ll be our secret.” He agreed.

The sides at the dinner table stood up to clear their plates, and the elder side on the stairs stood as well, grabbing the other’s hand. The younger one whined.

“Do we have to go back, Fear? It’s so cold in my room!”

Fear sighed, pulling him along towards the dark hallway where their rooms resided.

“We don’t belong here, Deceit. Come on, you can stay with me tonight. I’ll keep you warm.”

With that promise Deceit followed Fear down the hallway, letting the cold shadows swallow them as they left the warm, welcoming scene behind them, unnoticed.

Almost.

~~~

Back then, we thought Patton was afraid of the dark. Or maybe the spiders that were down the hall. He never did like spiders much.

What we didn’t realize is that nobody’s really afraid of the dark. No, they’re afraid of what might be hiding in that darkness. Watching. Waiting. Isn’t it fitting that he hid those he was afraid of in that darkness, and refuse to let anyone see what he hid?

~~~

As Thomas grew up, he started calling on his Creativity more. Roman accepted the task of helping their host, offering his input on school projects and personal ideas.

Remus said he didn’t mind. While his brother took the reins and worked hard to brainstorm, Remus could wander the mindscape, offering up ideas as they came to him without any restrictions.

“Remus, please stop pacing, I can’t think!” Roman groaned, heel of his hand pressed against his cheek as he stared at his notebook, the page covered in disjointed notes and ideas. Remus stopped moving, pouting.

“I’m trying to help! I can’t think if I don’t move around!” He shot back, to which Roman sighed. The white clad side of Creativity turned in his chair and gave his darker clothed brother a tired smile.

“I know you are,” he said softly, “but it’s making it hard for me to think. Why don’t you take a walk and see if anything comes to you? Here.” Roman offered a small notepad and pencil to Remus, which he took quickly. Roman smiled, making sure Remus knew he wasn’t mad. “Once you come back, we can compare notes and help Thomas together, ok?”

Remus deflated a little, feeling as if he was being sent away like a child. Regardless, he wasn’t getting anything by pacing here anyways. He stuck the notepad and pencil in his pocket, shrugging nonchalantly and flashing Roman a bright smile.

“I’ll be back! Don’t finish the project before I get back!”

Roman chuckled and waved to him as he left the room, turning back to the desk and stretching before going back to his notebook.

Remus let the door close behind him, leaning against it for a moment. He didn’t really want to take a walk down to the common room where Morality was likely to be. Ever since that night where they had chosen names for themselves, Morality - no, Patton - had started to treat him different. It was like he had forgotten that he was Thomas’s Creativity too.

He turned his head the other way, towards the darkened hallway where they were forbidden to go. There was cold oozing from the shadows, and it sent a chill down Remus’ spine.

Patton would be furious if he went down there.

Remus grinned wickedly. Good.

With head high and shoulders back, the darker Creativity started down the hallway, feeling the shadows curl around him and swallow the light behind him until he was surrounded by cold, pure blackness.

~~~

Remus blinked, trying to let his eyes adjust to the shift to complete darkness. He looked over his shoulder to try and catch the light from where he entered, but there was nothing but a faint pinprick of light in the distance. For a moment, he pondered whether he should go back. Already he could feel the warmth being leached from his body.

Then he shook his head, turning forward and marching on. He kept one hand on the wall, figuring that if he didn’t find anything, he could just turn around and follow it back out.

His footsteps were muffled, as if the darkness itself was swallowing the noise. It unsettled him, so used to the Imagination where everything was always so bright and stimulating. Strangely enough though, there was something comforting about the darkness. It was cold, but welcoming.

As he kept walking, Remus started to believe Patton was right about this place. There was nothing here, at least nothing that was interesting. The only thing that kept him going was the two shadowy sides he’d caught glimpses of over the years.

He’d only ever caught one good look of them. One night, after everyone else had gone to sleep and Remus was drifting off, he’d heard footsteps and soft whispers passing by their door. Curiosity had driven his exhaustion away in an instant, and he quietly climbed down the bunk bed ladder and snuck out of the room without waking Roman.

Quiet voices and the sound of shuffling feet came from the kitchen. Remus had snuck closer and crouched low on the stairs, looking through the banister at the intruders.

One wore a thick hoodie, zipped tightly up to his throat and hood thrown over his head. He was tall, at least as tall as Morality or Logic was. It wasn’t easy to recognize that though, as he kept his shoulders hunched, like he wanted to be smaller. He was grabbing things from the cupboard and shoving them in his pockets, as well as handing them to his partner.

The other was shorter and looked slightly younger, probably close to him and his brother or Passion. He wore a long cape that fell at his wrists, made of some thick fabric. At the time, Remus had wondered how they weren’t melting, considering how warm it was in the mindscape.

Now he was starting to understand. He rubbed at his bare arms, goosebumps crawling on his skin. Then something shifted, and he was jolted back into the present. Remus blinked, looking ahead where the faintest glow of light was emanating from the wall. Keeping his hand on the wall, Remus sped up to investigate. So, there was something here after all!

As he approached, he realized the light wasn’t coming from the wall, but rather seeping under the crack of a door. Remus tried to read the sign hanging on the door, but the light wasn’t bright enough.

After a moment of hesitation, Remus knocked. Then he knocked again. “Hello? Anyone there?”

There was no answer. Not even his own voice echoed back to him.

Remus groped blindly for the doorknob, turning it and opening the door. He gasped at the sight that he was met with, squinting at the light that poured out.

It looked like a normal bedroom on the floor, but instead of a ceiling there were glowing balls of light floating lazily above him, casting golden light down onto the floor. They didn’t seem to emanate heat though, as the room was even colder than the hallway. Despite that, Remus felt drawn in, and he started to take a step forward into the room. He needed to see one of the spheres. Just one, that would be enough.

“Stop!”

The voice startled Remus, and he jumped back, away from the doorway as he glanced around frantically to find the source of the voice.

From the darkness down the hallway beyond the door, two glowing purple eyes shone brilliantly. Remus let out a breath - there were people here after all!

“Hi, I’m Remus! I’m half of Thomas’s creativity!--”

“You don’t belong here.”

Remus paused, blinking. “Huh?”

“You need to leave. Now!”

The creative side took a step back. What just happened? Suddenly his heart was racing, and he felt an overwhelming urge to run away, back to the light and warmth of his room. Yet he was frozen, feet planted firmly as he shook. Whether it was from the cold or fright, he couldn’t tell.

“What are you doing? Leave! You don’t belong here! You need to go!”

“Fear, what are you yelling about?” A new voice came from the darkness. The purple eyes turned away from him and it broke the spell holding Remus in place. He stumbled, taking a step back as a single golden eye appeared. The person it belonged to walked forward, and Remus realized with a start that he had snake scales crawling up from his collar, stopping right below the curve of his cheekbone.

“I’m sorry about that, Fear just wanted to make sure you didn’t step in my room. It’s not good for people who aren’t used to it.” The side explained, reaching forward and pulling the door closed. The hallway was plunged into darkness and the creative side blinked, reaching for the wall again.

Instead he felt a gloved hand grab his and start pulling him past the door, back the way he came.

“He is right though, you shouldn’t be here. It’s not good for one of you to be on our side of the mind. I’ll lead you back.”

“W-Wait, I’m not going back yet! I just got here, and I have so many questions for you two!”

“Well, we don’t want to answer them!” The purple-eyed one snapped, but the one who held Remus’s hand paused.

“What kind of questions?”

“Well, like, who you are! Why do you stay here where it’s dark and cold when you could come out and stay with us? Why do you sneak into the kitchen and steal food at night? Why do your eyes glow? Why—“

“Enough!” The glowing purple disappeared as the side squeezed his eyes shut, hands clamped tightly over his ears. “Go away, now!”

“No!”

“Go home!!”

Again that gut wrenching fear shot through his bones and made Remus want to bolt, but the gloved hand held onto him and kept him grounded.

“Fear, please, it’s alright. He’s not here to hurt us.”

“You’re wrong! I know Morality sent him here to spy on us! I told you he knew we took food!”

Remus’s eyes widened and he stomped his foot. “I’m not here for Patton! I would never do a favor for him! He’s a jerk!”

The golden eye turned to him, staring into his soul. “You don’t like him? But he’s the leader of Thomas’ sides, we have to respect him.” Remus laughed.

“Leader? He’s useless without Logan helping him out! And all he ever does is nag! I can never do anything right according to him. He would never let me come here, but he’s not the boss of me!”

“I see... why don’t you follow me, then? I think we have a lot to talk about.” Remus was pulled down the hall, away from the door with the starry sky and further into the darkness. His heart was racing, but this time it was from excitement rather than fear.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” The purple eyed one - Fear, Remus recalled - hissed through his teeth as they passed him, and his guide’s glowing eye tilted up to look at him.

“Go to your room, Fear. I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything.” Despite being shorter and seemingly younger than Fear, Deceit had a confidence to his voice that reminded Remus of Morality.

“No way am I leaving you alone with one of... them! I’m coming with!”

“Suit yourself!” He chirped, pulling Remus forward. “I’m Deceit. The scaredy cat following us is Fear.”

“Shut your little mouth.” Came the snarky reply. Deceit snickered.

“I’m Creativity! But you can call me Remus too.” He told them, trusting that Deceit wouldn’t lead him straight into a wall. “How can you see? It’s pitch black!”

“We’ve lived here a long time.” Deceit answered, turning a corner and tugging Remus along.

“But why? There’s plenty of room with us! We could make rooms for you two, no problem!” Remus boasted, puffing his chest out a bit.

“We like it here. Watch your head.” The warning came just a moment too late as they walked through a low hanging doorway and Remus ran straight into the top of the doorframe. He sank into a crouch, holding his forehead and groaning.

“Ow ow ow…”

Deceit sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Sorry, forgot about that. Here, come sit on the couch. Fear, do we have any more ice?”

“Uh, I’m not sure…”

“Can you check?” Deceit asked, grabbing Remus’s elbow calmly to lead him to the couch, where he leaned back and kept rubbing at the aching area. Fear mumbled something and Remus heard footsteps shuffling away. “Sit right there.”

Then Deceit’s hand was gone, and suddenly a soft light bloomed in the corner of the room. Remus blinked, already used to having no light at all. A shadow passed in front of it as Deceit moved around, lighting candles until the entire room was dancing with flickering shadows.

“Woah…” Remus breathed, a smile growing on his face. “This is so cool…!”

Deceit turned back to him, shrugging. In the candlelight his scales glittered like gemstones, and Remus was entranced. As the side came over and sat down next to him, the creative side couldn’t help but stare.

“Does your head still hurt—”

“Can I touch your scales?”

Deceit blinked, flinching away. His gloved hand snuck up to his face, protecting himself. “W-why?”

Remus tilted his head. “Because they look cool? I wanna know what they feel like! Can I?”

“I, ah... I don’t see why not...” Deceit slowly let his hand fall into his lap.

Remus needed no further invitation as he shifted himself on the couch to be within reach. He eagerly held his hand out, running a finger along the curve of Deceit’s cheekbone where they stopped. The transition between skin and scales fascinated him, and he leaned in to try and see them better in the dim light.

“You... aren’t scared of me.” Deceit noted, sounding confused. Remus glanced over to meet his eyes.

“No? Why would I be?”

“Because... everyone else is?” Deceit sounded incredulous. Remus shrugged.

“Well, I’m not like everyone else then.” Remus’s fingers trailed lower and traced over the scar cutting from the corner of Deceit’s mouth up to his ear. Deceit winced. “What happened?” Remus breathed.

Deceit was intentionally avoiding looking at Remus. “Even we run into things sometimes.”

Remus paused, then tilted his head so he was in Deceit’s line of sight. “You don’t need to lie to me! I promise I won’t judge you, I’ve got a bunch of embarrassing scars too!”

“That’s his thing.” Fear stepped into the room, hands shoved deep into his hoodie pockets. He fell back into an armchair, sitting across it and hooking his legs over the armrest. He trained his eyes on Remus, crossing his arms and scowling. “Lying, I mean. That’s what he does.”

Deceit cleared his throat. “It’s not important anyways, it’s healed up and not a big deal. I’m more curious about you. What made you want to come into this place?”

Remus pouted. “Hey, no fair, I’ve got questions too!”

“Then you can ask one after you answer mine. We’ll go back and forth. Deal?”

The creative side thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Alright, sure! I came down here cause my brother kicked me out of our room cause I was distracting him, and I didn’t want to go downstairs cause Morality was down there and he annoys me, so I decided to come here because he told me not to and that just made me curious!” Remus spouted all in one breath. “My turn! Why do you two live here, instead of with the rest of us? There’s plenty of room!”

Deceit’s eyes flickered over at Fear for a moment before fixing back on Remus with a small – fake – smile. “This is where we belong. We wouldn’t fit in with the rest of you, so we stay here.”

Remus licked his lips. He didn’t like that answer for some reason. “But... we’re all Thomas’s sides, aren’t we?”

“Unlike you, we’re not good for Thomas. He doesn’t like us. It’s better if we work from the shadows.” Fear spoke from the corner. Deceit sighed quietly.

“You have your world, and we have ours. They don’t need to overlap.”

Remus shook his head. “That’s not true. Because I’ve seen you guys on our side a bunch of times. You sit on the staircase and watch us during dinner, and you sneak into the kitchen at night and take food. I’m not mad! But... don’t you have food here? And if you really don’t think we should overlap, then why do you come and watch us eat?”

“I told you they knew.” Fear shot at Deceit.

“I know. And I think Morality might know about the food thing. But the others don’t. Or at least they’ve never said anything. So why don’t you have food?”

“This side of the mind is unpredictable. It doesn’t make sense like... like your side. It doesn’t always provide things that are... edible.” Deceit said slowly, picking his words carefully. “As for... the dinner thing, well... it gets cold here.”

“So you come over so you can warm up? Why don’t you come downstairs and introduce yourselves, then?”

“What about ‘we don’t belong there’ do you not understand?” Fear snapped, swinging his legs over and sitting up straight. “We aren’t like you! Thomas doesn’t like us or what we do! This is the place for sides like us!”

Deceit flinched as Fear shouted, bringing a hand up to scratch at his scar.

Remus narrowed his eyes. “Thomas doesn’t always like us either. Doesn’t that mean we all belong over here then?”

Fear growled, fists clenched. Deceit, realizing Fear was at his limit, stood up and took Remus’s hand to pull him to his feet.

“I think it’s time for you to go back. You wouldn’t want someone to come looking for you and get lost here.”

Remus puffed his cheeks out but stood up, realizing with a start that he had been meant to be thinking of ideas to help Roman, but he’d gotten completely distracted. He let Deceit lead him back into the dark hallway, but found himself surprised to find that he could actually see. It wasn’t very bright, nothing more than a dim glow, but it was enough to see the width of the hallway and the turns they were taking before they hit them.

Deceit was silently watching him as they walked back to the doorway between the sides of the mind. He noticed that Remus’s eyes were following the line of the hallway, rather than darting around blindly. He pursed his lips, curious.

“Here’s where I’ll leave you. Keep walking forward and you’ll be back on your side of the mind,” Deceit stopped, letting go of Remus’s hand. The creative side turned and smiled at Deceit.

“You know, I could leave some food for you guys sometimes, right here. Or you could come to dinner, Morality’s a pain but he does make some good food!”

Deceit chuckled lightly. “That’s... kind of you, but we can take care of ourselves.”

“If you say so. I’ll do it anyways. You like peanut butter, right?”

Remus didn’t wait for a response, winking and leaving the hallway, practically melting at the sudden blast of warmth.

Deceit stood there for a long time after Remus left. There was no way... he must have been imagining things. Remus was part of the others, the ones of the light. They didn’t belong on this side, they didn’t adjust to the darkness.

So why, then, had there been a green glint in Remus’s eye?

~~~

Remus eased open his bedroom door slowly, wincing as it creaked. He peeked his head in and saw Roman bent over the desk, hand moving furiously as he wrote in his notebook. He didn’t look up as Remus flopped onto the lower bunk, propping his feet up and closing his eyes.

“You were gone a while. I practically finished this project while you were off doing whatever you were doing!” Roman reached his arms into the air and stretched, groaning as his muscles popped. He twisted in his chair, throwing an arm over the backrest and looking back at his brother. “So, where did you... go...? Remus, what happened to your clothes?!”

Remus opened his eyes and lifted his head to glance curiously at his brother, but his gaze was drawn down to his chest and he sucked in a breath.

His normally light gray outfit was stained black, like someone had thrown a bucket of ink over him. He scrambled off the bed and checked the covers, but it hadn’t leaked onto them. When he scrubbed it with his palms, a thin, almost oily coating came off onto his fingers.

Roman stood up so fast his chair fell on its back, striding over to Remus and grabbing his arm, trying to brush the oily dust away but only managing to smudge it more. Roman’s hand tightened around his brother’s bicep, eyes staring down but not seeing anything.

“Where did you go?” He growled low. Remus tried to grin, but it became a wince.

“I got curious! You didn’t want me around and Patton was downstairs, so I just went exploring!”

Roman narrowed his eyes. “You went into the hallway. We aren’t supposed to go there, Remus.”

“But there’s nothing bad there! I met the sides who live over there, and they’re really nice! Well, Fear is kinda rude, but Deceit is really nice! I promised them I’d bring them some food!” Remus found himself telling his brother everything. He didn’t notice how Roman’s grip was tightening painfully on his arm until his fingers started tingling. “Uh, Ro? Let go, that hurts!”

“You weren’t supposed to go over there, Remus! Patton told us we weren’t allowed to because it’s dangerous! Now look what happened!”

“But Patton’s wrong! There’s nothing scary over there!” Remus raised his voice, pushing Roman away as the grip around his arm became painful. “We don’t always have to listen to Patton, you know! He’s not our dad, we’re all parts of Thomas!”

Roman gaped at him, he couldn’t believe his ears. He took a breath to say something, probably to scold him again, when there was a knock at the door and he jumped.

“Are you alright, Roman? I heard you shouting.” Patton asked through the door, worried.

“I’m alright! We were just excited about the idea we had for Thomas’s project! Right, Remus?!” Roman said shrilly. Remus stared at his brother – now he was the one who couldn’t believe his ears. Was he… lying? To Patton?!

He tried to open his mouth to tell Patton the truth, but suddenly a hand shot up and slapped over his mouth, muffling his words.

“Well, alright, if you’re sure you’re ok. Don’t overwork yourself! I’m going to get dinner started.”

“Ok!” Roman held his breath until he heard Patton walk away and back down the stairs. He glanced back at Remus, raising an eyebrow as he saw his brother fighting to pull his own hand off his mouth. “What… are you doing?”

As if released from some spell, Remus was finally able to tug his hand off his mouth, huffing in annoyance. “I wasn’t doing anything! My hand wouldn’t move!”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Sure.” Then he sighed, moving to fall back dramatically onto his bed. He tilted his head to the side, watching Remus as he went back to trying to brush off the black substance stuck to his clothes. “Why did you really go over there, Remus? You can tell me.”

“But I did tell you. I’ve been curious about that hallway for years, and I didn’t want to go downstairs and deal with Morality. So I went exploring.”

“Why didn’t you want to talk to Patton?” Roman sounded genuinely confused, and Remus grimaced at him.

“You’re kidding, right? He hates me, why would I want to go talk to someone who hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you! Patton doesn’t hate anyone! He just… thinks some of your ideas are a bit… extreme, that’s all.”

Remus rolled his eyes, deciding that these stains weren’t coming out and he just needed to change. He tugged his shirt off, going over to their closet and searching for something else. He found an older costume of his hanging in the back. It was slightly too small, but it would work.

“Same thing. He doesn’t like it when I help you, even though I’m Creativity too. It’s like he forgot that we used to be the same person!” Remus growled, a sudden rush of anger coursing through him. He clenched his teeth, hands balling into fists.

“Remus, come on, we both know that isn’t—”

The younger twin whirled around, glaring daggers at his brother. “And you’re not much better! You barely let me help Thomas at all anymore! I have ideas too, you know! I want to help him achieve his dreams too! But you just shove me out of the room and tell me I can leave everything to you. What if I want to help, huh?!”

Roman sat up, hands covering his mouth as he watched Remus duck his head, squeezing his eyes shut and taking heavy breaths. “Remus…”

“Maybe I do belong with them after all…”

The elder twin stood up, moving to Remus and wrapping him in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Remus. I didn’t realize… but I’m going to stop. We’re going to work together from now on. You belong here, with us. With me. You’re my other half, after all.”

Remus lifted his head, looking Roman in the eye. “Promise?”

Roman smiled softly, ruffling his brother’s hair.

“Promise.”

~~~

We had always been so close. It was like we could read each other’s minds. For years, it was like we were still just two halves of a single whole.

Unfortunately, we found out soon enough that that bond had dissolved over the years. Before either of us knew it, it was like we were from completely different planets. And neither of us knew when or how it happened.

~~~

“Roman!”

“Yeah?” The creative side called back, looking up from where he was lying on the floor working on a new idea with Remus.

“Can you come here for a moment?”

“Be right there!” Roman hopped to his feet, tugging his shirt down where it had ridden up. “I’ll be right back, ok?” He told his brother, who hummed.

“Grab some water while you’re down there?”

Roman grinned. “Sure!”

Patton was sat on the couch as he bounded down the stairs, and the moral side patted the spot beside him. “Come take a seat, Roman.”

His heart jumped into his throat. Patton sounded serious – had he done something wrong? All his excited energy disappeared as he gingerly took a seat on the couch. Patton passed him a crumpled piece of paper.

“What is…?”

“Just read it. Tell me what you think.”

Oh, had Patton written something? Did he want feedback? He took it carefully, smoothing it with his fingers before scanning the page.

Roman’s face morphed into shock as he read, and he looked up at Patton with wide eyes. “Patton, I… I can explain!”

The moral side held up a hand, and Roman shut his mouth quickly. “You don’t have to say anything. I know what happened.”

Roman hung his head. “I’m sorry, Morality, we were just… trying to have some fun with the project. We didn’t mean for Thomas to get in trouble.”

Patton sighed, resting a comforting hand on Roman’s shoulder. “You’re not in trouble, Roman. But I wanted to talk to you alone… about Remus.”

“What… about him?” The creative side ventured cautiously. Patton sat up straight, prompting Roman to look at him.

“You need to stop letting Remus help you with projects like this.”

Roman’s mouth gaped open as he comprehended what Patton had said. The moral side tapped the paper in Roman’s lap.

“Because if he keeps helping, Thomas is going to get more of these sent home to his parents. We both know it was because of him that the project turned out the way it did. I’m not blaming you, I should have been more careful and kept a closer eye on what Thomas was doing.”

“But, Patton, you don’t understand, we—”

“You can still spend time with him if you want. As long as he keeps his brand of creativity confined within the mindscape, it’ll be alright. Thomas is a good person, I can’t let Remus ruin that for him.”

Roman couldn’t believe his ears. Was all of this really coming from Patton?

“But I promised him I’d let him help Thomas more, what am I supposed to do?”

Patton winced. “Roman, why did you go and do that? You know how I—Thomas feels about some of the things Remus comes up with.”

“Because he helps me! He comes up with ideas better than I ever could sometimes!”

Because I wasn’t complete without him.

The moral side chewed on his lip, thinking. Then he huffed a small sigh and smiled at Roman. “Alright, then how about this? Remus can help you when you’re brainstorming, but things like this,” he pointed to the letter, “have to get run through me before Thomas starts working on them. That way, we can avoid doing something wrong like this again. Fair?”

No.

“…Ok. I’ll make sure to run things by you first.”

Patton smiled wider, and he pulled Roman into a tight hug. “I’m proud of you, Roman. You create so many things that make Thomas happy. We’ll get past this just fine.”

Roman swallowed past the lump in his throat and smiled weakly. “Y-Yeah, ok. Can… I go back to my room now?”

He was released from the hug and with a last ruffle of his hair, Roman was allowed to stand up. He stood tall, keeping his hands curled tightly at his sides to hide how he was shaking.

In his foggy state, he didn’t notice the figure looking out from the banister dart up the stairs, nor did he hear the door slam down the hall.

Remus glanced up as his brother entered the room, sitting up and crossing his legs. “Told you he didn’t like me.”

Roman jumped, rubbing his arm guiltily. “You heard…?”

The younger twin stared at Roman, intent. “You’re not going to listen to him, right? We can’t let Morality tell us what to do. He doesn’t get to decide what ideas Thomas has, what he gets to create. That’s our job.”

“Well, we can’t just ignore him either. Thomas got in trouble because of us, Remus. Because of our project.”

“Because of me, you mean.”

Roman hesitated, staring at the ground. “I… I don’t know.”

“Oh, but I do. Morality doesn’t like anything I do. He doesn’t like how he can’t control what I do. I do what I want, when I want, and there’s nothing he can do about it!”

“Remus—”

“It’s true! Why do you think he just called you down to talk, when I’m the one he’s mad at? It’s cause he thinks he can control you too. But he’s not the boss of us! Now come on, let’s get back to this, Thomas is waiting!”

Remus threw himself back onto his stomach, grabbing his pencil. Roman stayed where he was, watching Remus add to their joint art project. He looked up after his brother didn’t move. “What are you doing? Come on, help me out!”

“I… I can’t.”

“You… can’t help me?”

“No—Yes—That wasn’t what I meant!”

Remus narrowed his eyes. “Ok…?”

Roman took a deep, shaky breath. “I meant… I can’t just… do whatever I want. We need to listen to Morality.”

His brother’s eye twitched, but his expression otherwise remained neutral. “No, we don’t.”

“Patton knows what Thomas wants better than we do. If he says that we need to hold back a little, then we should.”

Remus watched him for a moment before he silently got to his feet. He stalked up to his brother, shoulders back and chin raised.

“Fight me.”

Roman blinked. “What?”

“Fight me. If you win, we do what Morality says.” Remus mocked, a glint in his eye. “But if I win, we do what we want, and forget about trying to please Morality. Or any of the others, while we’re at it.”

“Remus, please, I don’t want--”

“Are you agreeing with me then?”

“W-Well, no, but--”

“Then we have no choice. C’mon, the Imagination is waiting.”

Remus’s voice somehow held its usual energy with none of the warmth. He shoved his way past Roman, glancing back at him expectantly. Realizing his brother wasn’t giving him a choice, Roman followed him with a sinking feeling in his stomach that, no matter who won this match, things would never be the same.

~~~

Throughout the years, the twins had both grown adept at manipulating the Imagination. It was their second home, their safe place, somewhere they could be wholly, unabashedly themselves without scrutiny.

Roman, as the Creativity Thomas called on the most, had grown to be disciplined. Organized chaos, as Logan had once described him. Ideas filtered dozens of times before they were allowed through, already fully formed. He was fantasy worlds, built with careful precision. Every piece in its place. He went to great lengths to protect his ideas, hypersensitive to criticism and critique.

Remus was the exact opposite. With no filter in sight, he let any and all thoughts he had spill out without a care in the world. He was pieces of dialogue or character that come in the shower or late at night, there one moment and gone the next. Fleeting, constantly jumping from one idea to the next without stopping to build foundations along the way. He didn’t care what others thought of him or his ideas, deaf to cries of disgust or suggestions to improve.

When they worked together, they could move mountains.

When they fought…

The Imagination shook with the sheer energy the two were exerting. Remus battered against Roman’s defenses with everything he could think of. Monsters, explosions, even his own weapons. No matter what he did, the castle walls Roman had thrown up stood tall, unyielding.

Remus, however, couldn’t handle that kind of beating. After rounds of constant attacks, the younger twin was finally taken down by a blow to the head that left him seeing stars.

He laid still, staring up at the sky. Storm clouds were rolling in. Not surprising; the Imagination was connected to their emotions, and tended to reflect their moods.

The remnants of their battle faded into dust and Remus rolled his head to the side, catching sight of Roman as he walked towards him. The elder twin’s face was schooled into a neutral expression, jaw clenched tight as he stopped at Remus’s feet and stared down at him.

Remus let a humorless laugh slip out, eyes sliding shut. “Kill me now. I’d rather die than have to listen to Morality.”

He heard Roman swallow, and felt a soft kick to his foot. “Get up.”

“Nope.”

“Get up, Remus.”

He cracked an eye open, and saw Roman had turned around.

“We’re going to be late for dinner. Let’s go.”

“Forget it. I’m staying here. Morality probably won’t even notice I’m not there.”

Roman rolled his shoulders back, standing straight. “Fine. Suit yourself.”

Remus closed his eyes again, not wanting to watch his brother walk away. Cold drops of rain started to fall, burning like ice against his skin. They ran down his cheeks, mixing with salty tears and falling to the muddy ground.

Roman stepped out of the Imagination, the dirt and dust that had gotten on his clothes vanishing as he did so. He heard someone knock at the door and he told them he’d be down in a moment. Footsteps walked away, and it was all Roman could do to not collapse into a heap right there.

He had to be strong. That was what everyone expected – needed – from him. He couldn’t show weakness or back down from a challenge, even something like this.

Wiping the moisture from his eyes with the heel of his hand, he plastered a confident smile on his face and left the room.

~~~

Dinner was a quiet affair. Patton tried to engage Roman several times, asking about his latest projects. After receiving one word answers to his questions, the moral side realized that Roman wasn’t in the mood to talk. He tried to turn the conversation to Valentine, but he was equally quiet. He scarfed down his food and excused himself quietly, leaving his dishes in the sink.

Patton chewed on his lip as Roman followed suit. Soon he was left alone with Logan, who didn’t seem concerned at the strange behavior.

“What’s up with them? I haven’t seen either of them all day, do you think something happened, Logan?”

The logical side adjusted his glasses. “I haven’t seen Roman today, but I do know that Valentine is sulking because I asked him to leave me alone while I was working with Thomas on his homework.”

Patton sighed – that wasn’t new. Logan had never been very keen on listening to Valentine’s excited rants, even when he wasn’t on a deadline. “You know Logan, you should try and indulge him every once in a while. I know you take your work very seriously, but Thomas needs to take breaks sometimes.”

“I allow him to take breaks. And Roman takes him off on wild adventures, that’s more than enough of a stress reliever. All Valentine wants is to keep Thomas in front of the TV all day watching any number of ridiculous shows and movies. He’s going to ruin his vision at this rate.”

At any other time, Patton would have made a joke about that, given that both he and Logan had taken to wearing glasses themselves in the past few years. Instead, he pursed his lips, setting his silverware down.

“Logan… you of all people should know that’s not true. Valentine keeps Thomas happy and he offers a distraction when things are hard.”

Logan rolled his eyes dismissively. “But Thomas doesn’t need a distraction, he needs to focus! He’s started thinking about what he wants to do as a career, and Roman has gotten it into his head that he wants to do something creative. That takes a lot of work and time, we can’t waste that precious time on the couch doing nothing!”

Patton held his hands up in surrender. “I’m not trying to fight with you Logan! I just… think you might be selling Passion short, that’s all.”

The logical side narrowed his eyes. “Well, you certainly can’t lecture me about that then.”

“H-Huh?”

Logan pushed his plate to the side, having finished his meal, and set his chin in his hand. He stared at Patton with an unimpressed look. “If I’m selling Valentine short, then you’re doing the same with Remus.”

Patton spluttered, waving his hands around as if to clear the air. “Those are two completely different things!”

“Are they?”

“Yes! Valentine may cause Thomas to be lazy sometimes, but that’s nothing compared to the trouble Remus causes! Thomas got a letter sent to his parents because of his contributions! He doesn’t listen to anyone, Logan, what else am I supposed to do?”

“Limiting him is not going to be good for Thomas in the long run.”

“And that goes for Valentine too!”

They stared at each other for a long moment; two strong wills incapable of backing down from their particular stance. Eventually, Patton gave a huge sigh and let his shoulders drop.

“Look, let’s just… talk about this tomorrow?” Logan nodded silently, gathering both of their plates and taking them to the sink. He rinsed them off and grabbed a cloth to wash them.

Patton packed away the leftover food in Tupperware, knowing as he did so that it would be gone the next morning. He’d long given up trying to catch the thieves – they somehow knew when he was waiting up for them. Anytime he did hear someone pass by his door and sneak downstairs, it ended up being Remus up for a midnight snack. It was impossible to feed the side enough to keep him full, apparently.

At least it was usually healthy food. Or he was very good at sneaking the cookies, because Patton never caught him with one.

After grabbing a towel and drying the dishes silently beside Logan, they went back to their own rooms to think, and plan what they would say the next morning.

~~~

Remus awoke to a dark, quiet room. After he’d left the Imagination, he had climbed up to his bunk and swaddled himself in blankets, hiding from the world. His chest was aching, and he had a splitting headache that had only gotten slightly better with sleep.

The side sat up, extracting himself from the blankets as he tried to determine what time it was. A glance at the clock below him told him it was past midnight. He groaned quietly – god, he was hungry. Why did he think skipping dinner was a good idea?

That coupled with his headache made for a very grumpy Remus. He clambered down the bunk bed ladder and barely spared a glance at his twin sprawled none so gracefully on his own bed.

Remus crept out of the room, easing the squeaky door closed without a sound. He’d become practiced at this over the years – the darkness no longer bothered him. In fact, he’d grown accustomed to it, his eyes adjusting to see in dull shades of gray.

He knew that Patton knew he snuck downstairs for food, but he had yet to realize why he did so. Thankfully, the few times he’d been caught, he was hungry enough to use the late night snack excuse. Remus tiptoed down the stairs, skipping the one that creaked and stepping on the outside of the last two to keep them silent. Then he heard a small sniffle and Remus froze. He wasn’t alone.

Though it was pitch black, Remus could make out a shadow on the couch, hunched over with his head in his hands. There was another stifled cry, and Remus knew immediately who it was.

“…Val?”

Remus heard him suck in a breath through his teeth and saw him look up blindly towards the stairs. “Remus? Is that you?”

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Remus asked, shuffling over to the couch and perching on the armrest.

Valentine shook his head and laughed softly. “No, but… you don’t wanna hear me talk about it. Nobody actually cares about what I have to say.”

Remus narrowed his eyes, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Who told you that?” He shook Valentine slightly when the side remained quiet. “Val, who told you that? I’ll kill ‘em for you.”

“Don’t kill anyone, Rem. I’m fine, really.” The statement didn’t convince him, considering his voice cracked and Remus could hear him struggling with every word.

“Valentine Sanders. Tell me who told you nobody cares. Now.” He didn’t bother trying to hide his building anger. Valentine shrunk, hanging his head.

“Lo…Logan did. He said that… all I do is make things harder for everyone else, make it so you guys can’t do your jobs because I always distract him from what’s ‘important’…”

“You know that’s all bullshit, right?”

Valentine gasped. “Remus!”

“It’s true! Listen, if Thomas really didn’t need you, then you would have faded away a long time ago! The fact that you’re here means you do things for Thomas that none of us can do for him!”

“But they don’t like what I do…” Valentine mumbled, and Remus groaned. He hopped off the couch and went over to flip on the lights. Everyone was asleep anyways, and he knew Valentine couldn’t see in the dark like he could.

The side on the couch flinched as the room was flooded with light, covering his eyes. “Remus, what are you doing?!”

The creative side stalked back over to Valentine, plopping down on the floor in front of him. He waited until his friend was able to open his eyes without being blinded, staring at him with an intense gaze.

“Do you think what you do is important?” Remus asked, putting his hand on Valentine’s knee. Valentine twisted his fingers in his hair, not meeting Remus’s eyes.

“Well, yeah, I do, but Logan—”

“It doesn’t matter what Logan thinks. He can go suck a—”

“That’s easy for you to say.” Valentine cut him off, shaking his head. “Thomas actually listens to you. He’s been ignoring every attempt I make to get him invested into something! It’s like, every time I open my mouth, there’s someone else who’s talking louder and has his attention.”

Remus snickered. “Yeah right, Thomas doesn’t listen to me.”

“But… you’re his Creativity…?”

“Morality made a deal with Roman that anything I help with, he has to look at before we give it to Thomas. And for years, he’s always tried to keep me quiet, away from Roman and anything that might make it to Thomas. He thinks I’m dangerous.”

Valentine snapped his head up, staring at Remus with wide eyes. “That’s how Logan treats me! He thinks I’m lazy and all I do is distract Thomas from ‘more important’ things. All I want is for him to be happy! Ugh, why do we have to listen to them? They don’t care about us!”

“We don’t.”

“Yes, we do. After all, they’re the ones who are in charge, if we don’t do what they say we’ll just continue to be ignored.” Valentine sighed.

Remus had an odd look on his face. “No, we won’t. Morality and Logic aren’t the only ones who control what Thomas thinks and knows.”

“If you’re talking about Roman, I doubt he’s gonna help us go against those two. He’s their favorite, he’s not gonna give that up.”

The creative side shook his head, a grin slowly growing on his face. “No, I don’t mean Roman. I mean the others. The ones who live in the hallway past our rooms.”

“Remus! Patton said we aren’t supposed to go down that way, it’s dangerous, you could get hurt—”

“I’ve been there every week for years. Do I look hurt to you?”

Valentine’s mouth gaped open, and he dropped his voice into a hushed whisper, as if he would get in trouble if the walls heard his words. “What’s it like there? Is it scary? What are… the others like?”

“Well, it’s dark. But you get used to it – I’ve been able to see in pitch black for a while now. There are two sides who live over there. Fear’s… well, I don’t see him much, honestly. But Deceit is amazing. He can control what we tell Thomas. If he doesn’t want to know something, then it’s Deceit’s job to make sure we don’t tell him.”

“But I thought that was Morality’s job?”

Remus shook his head. “No. Morality can ask us to stop, and we do because we think he has power over us. But Deceit can actually stop us from talking, if he wants to. But,” Remus’s grin grew wicked, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “that also means that he can make sure that Thomas doesn’t ignore us.”

Valentine was shaking with barely controlled excitement. “He can make it so Thomas doesn’t ignore me anymore?! Please, Remus, you have to take me there! That’s all I’ve wanted for so long!”

“I can, but Val, if I do… you probably can’t come back.”

That made him pause, staring at his hands. “You mean…”

Remus sighed. “Morality and Logic both know what’s over there, and most importantly they think the sides over there are dangerous. If you’re gonna ask them for help…”

Valentine swallowed hard. “I… If I leave, they’ll think I’m a bad guy too. Roman, he’ll think I abandoned him.”

“Well…”

Valentine whined in the back of his throat, rubbing at his eyes as tears welled up again. “Oh god, Remus, I can’t leave him alone! But I can’t stand staying here anymore! What am I supposed to do?!”

Remus shrugged helplessly as his friend broke down in front of him. This was not his forte – Passion had always been the most emotional one of them all, being largely responsible for many of Thomas’s feelings. All he could do was gently pat his knee in a vague attempt to comfort him.

“I mean… I think Roman would rather you do what’s best for you, rather than suffer here just because of him. Cause he’s got that whole ‘chivalry’ thing going on. And besides, your room and a lot of your stuff will still be here, he’ll still have pieces of you to remember.”

The words sounded weak to him, but something about what he said made Valentine freeze, slowly lowering his hands from his eyes.

“Remus, that’s it! You’re a genius!”

“Uhhh…”

“If I give them my responsibilities, it’s like I’m not really leaving at all! But I won’t have to be ignored for them anymore!”

“W-What are you talking about?” Remus asked, confused at Valentine’s constant shifting moods.

“It’s perfect, Remus! Thomas needs the things I do, but I don’t want to do them anymore because the others don’t know how important they are. But if I give it to them, they’ll have to realize! Then once they do, I can take them back and everything will go back to normal!”

“But they’re not you, Valentine, how are they supposed to do your job?!” Remus couldn’t imagine ever doing someone else’s job – they had their titles for a reason!

“I’ll give them things that are close to what they already represent. Like, for Roman, he can get all the love of cartoons and movies and things like that, since he already likes fantasy it’ll be easy for him! Morality already looks out for Thomas and his friends, so what’s the difference if he now feels the emotions that come along with that? And Logic…”

Valentine started giggling widely, and Remus hoped that everyone else was fast asleep and wouldn’t come down to check on the noise.

“Logic… he’ll get what I’ve been trying to tell him all this time. He likes making sure Thomas can focus on the things he needs to learn, so I’ll give him that drive to learn. See what he thinks when he finally feels some emotion in that stone-cold heart of his!”

His eyes were wild and his smile was too wide. Remus started to wonder if he should have just kept his mouth shut. “Val, what does that leave you? You’re giving away everything! You could die!”

“No… No, I’ll keep something. I’ll be alright! After all, it’s just for the time it takes for them to realize that they need me. Then I’ll come back and everything will go back to normal!”

He paused, chewing his lip. “But, they can’t know where I went. If they know I went to the other side, they’ll just try to bring me back. So, Remus... I need you to promise me that you won’t tell them where I am. No matter what, you can’t tell them I went to the dark side.”

Remus stared at him. “...I can’t.”

“Remus, please, if they wake up tomorrow and find me missing they’re going to go searching and you know that they’ll ask you--”

“I’m coming with you.”

Remus’s voice was steady, and he met Valentine’s shocked expression with a confident smile. “I never belonged here anyways. It’s surprising I lasted this long without being kicked out. But Deceit can make it so Thomas will finally listen to me again.”

Valentine took a look, deep breath. “...What about Roman?”

Remus huffed, trying to play it off. “It’s like you said. He’s their favorite. He’s already chosen his side. It’s just up to us to choose ours now.”

They stared at each other for a long, quiet moment. They both came to the same conclusion, and nodded at each other.

“Let’s go.”

Remus told Valentine about his weekly food runs he’d been doing for Deceit and Fear, and about how the other side didn’t often have food. They raided the kitchen, stuffing their pockets and arms full of food. The kitchen would restock itself in time, Remus knew they would manage.

The two snuck upstairs, past the closed bedroom doors. Remus had Valentine walk in front, realizing that if he went first, they ran a high risk of Valentine running into him and making noise.

Remus paused at his bedroom door. He turned to face it, staring blankly.

“...You don’t have to come with me, Remus.” Valentine mumbled quietly, eyes soft as he heard the creative side stop moving behind him. “I’ll be alright on my own.”

Remus sucked in a shaky breath, trying to steady his hands so he didn’t drop anything. He could stay. He could go back to sleep and pretend this was all a dream. Give Valentine the food in his arms and tell him how to find Deceit. And when he woke up in the morning, he would feign ignorance. Maybe even tell them that he’d witnessed Passion fade away right before his eyes, all because of their ignorance and willful neglect.

He could hold it against them. He could use it as leverage. He could prove that he’s not the one who’s dangerous to Thomas. Maybe it would be enough to get Morality to give up on trying to control him and his brother.

They could stay together, and they could take control. No longer would Patton be in charge.

Remus snickered and shook his head, turning back to Valentine and marching into the hallway with his head held high.

Maybe he was the evil twin after all.

[lowkey-lokis-bitch]

sketchbook - peter.parker

warnings - none :) just some fluffy peter parker x stark!reader

word counter - 1281

a/n - dang I have such a soft spot for peter x stark!reader , also requests are open! I posted one earlier for Loki that I’m super proud of - it’s called uncovered secrets please give it a read! thank you!! <3

Peter Parker is in many ways, an oversized toddler. He is easily excitable, almost constantly smiling and fairly naïve to his surroundings. Hence the way he didn’t realise that Tony Stark’s daughter was sitting right next to him in the Chemistry classroom. To be fair, Tony had done a pretty good job of making sure your parentage was a secret, it would have made life a lot more difficult for you if everyone had known. Personally, you preferred it this way. You had had more than a lifetime's worth of fake friends using you to get closer to the Avengers, or the Stark fortune. This way, life was simpler for you, and you had the chance to make some actual friends.

However, the fact that it was a secret didn’t mean you completely dissociated yourself all day. You often spent your time at school scribbling ideas for projects that you would take home to show Tony and Bruce, often ending up in some lab experiment gone wrong deep into the night. Your most recent project was a suit that your father had designed, and you had been tasked with upgrading.

You were sat in the Chemistry classroom, roughly sketching a design for a compartment containing some mechanical, spider-like legs when you felt a soft tap on your elbow. You quickly looked up, instinctively covering your design with your other hand. Peter was looking up at you, smiling softly.

“Whatcha working on?” he whispered, not wanting to get the two of you in trouble. He attempted to peer over your shoulder to see the design, but you insisted to keep it covered.

“It’s nothing, just doodling,” you smiled as innocently as you could, closing your book over and putting it to the side. As the book was closing, Peter managed to sneak a quick glimpse of your design, noticing the strange-looking legs. He took a mental note to mention that to Mr Stark, it could be quite useful as an addition to his suit. He shook his head slowly and looked back up at you.

“Okay, do you wanna come hang out after school? Ned’s coming over and I think we’re going to watch Star Wars,” he grinned at you, using one of your greatest weaknesses - your undying love for Han Solo - against you.

“Original trilogy, or sequels?” you narrowed your eyes, knowing there was only one correct answer.

“Originals duh,” he laughed quietly, quickly glancing up to make sure that the teacher hadn’t noticed anything. “You in?”

“Sorry, I can’t. Got to study.”

“Aw come on, we don’t have any tests coming up.” “Hey, some of us need to study to keep up with the brain-boxes, such as yourself.”

That was a straight-up lie. One of the many things you had inherited from Tony was his brain. Also his crippling mental state, but let’s not discuss that just now.  

The school bell rang, giving you an easy escape route. “I have to go see coach Wilson, I’ll text you later,” you gathered up all of your books quickly, not realising that you had left your sketchbook.

“Sure, see ya,” Peter smiled as you left, before noticing your book. “Hey, (Y/N), you left your book,” he spoke with no real desire for you to hear him. His curiosity got the best of him, and he flipped through the pages, seeing designs for what seemed to be adaptations for something. But there were no hints as to what the something could be. He slipped the book into his bag, making a mental note to return it to you tomorrow.

He left the classroom quickly, the school building even quicker, as the excitement of getting to see Mr Stark and his new suit overtook him. He stumbled into a back alley, slipping his mask over his head, ditching his bag in a dumpster and leaping into the air, soaring above Queens.

You arrived home, excited to show Bruce and Tony your new designs for the suit. When you approached the lab, pulling your hair up and out of your face, you saw the suit in all of its glory, glistening under the lights. Excitement bubbled in your chest as you placed your bag on the desk, unzipped it and reached in, rummaging around for your sketchbook.

But it wasn’t there.

The excitement quickly evolved into fear as you replayed the days events in your mind. You had it in Bio, worked in it at lunch, continued working in Chemis-

Peter.

“Dammit,” you muttered, pressing your head into your hands.

“Hey kiddo,” you turned around and saw Bruce, fluffy hair and all. “You alright?”

“Uh, yeah, no, not really. Lost my sketchbook.”

“Oh, anything important in it?”

“Um, well, somesketchesforthesuitandithinkakidatschoolmighthaveitnow-” you braced yourself for the response you would receive.

“Does Tony know?” Bruce asked, pushing his glasses up his face and looking back at the clipboard in his hands.

“I haven’t seen him yet,” you looked up slowly, anticipating punishment.

“He’s waiting for someone upstairs, so you’ve probably got about half an hour to find it.”

“Bruce, I owe you big time buddy,” you jogged towards him, giving him a quick hug and sprinting towards the door. “Thank you!”

Peter walked up to the entrance of the Avengers facility, still in awe of the fact that a place like this existed, and he was there. As he approached the large windows, he saw Tony pacing back and forth, obviously annoyed at someone on his phone. With your sketchbook in hand, he entered the facility and jogged up the stairs to meet Tony.

“Okay. Y’know what, I’ll get Pepper to chase this up. Yeah, okay bye,” Tony put the phone back in his pocket and turned on his heels to meet Peter. “Hey kid, you okay?”

“Hey, Mr Stark. Yeah, I’m good. I think I did well on my Spanish test,” Peter smiled up at his elder, wanting to make him proud.

“That’s good kid,” Tony wrapped his arms around Peter’s shoulders and led him towards the lab. “Now, we’ve been brainstorming some ideas for the suit. So, spiderling, anything to bring to the table?”

“Actually, I’ve got these,” he held up the sketchbook in his hand and a look of recognition washed over Tony’s face.

“Where did you get that?” he started before footsteps approached the pair from behind.

“Hey, Dad, I need to-” you stopped abruptly when the boys turned around and there he was, Peter Parker, holding your sketchbook. “That’s my sketchbook.”

“Um, yes, it is. I was, um, going to- trYING to find you. Not in a weird way, so I could give it back, to you,” Peter stuttered, his face displaying a shade of pink, as he reached his hand up to scratch the back of his neck.

“Yeah, okay,” you spoke, reaching to take it back.

“Uh-uh,” Tony furrowed his eyebrows, taking the sketchbook from Peter’s trembling hands. He flipped through the pages, glancing at the designs on each page before stopping on your most recent design, the leg compartment. “This, this is good. This is /really/ good, wow. Have you shown this to Bruce?”

“No, I was going to but /someone/ had stolen my book,” you looked back at Peter, his cheeks flushing an even darker shade of pink.

“Yeah, sorry,” he mumbled, finding anywhere to look other than you or your father.

“We need to get this added, like, now. Let’s go,” Tony stated, striding away, leaving you to jog to catch up. “It’s his suit by the way.”

You were a few feet ahead when you noticed that Peter still hadn’t moved. “Well, are you coming spiderboy?”

“It’s Spiderman,” he sighed. “Wait, DAD?”

[lavender-annd-lilac]

*Knocks on your door*

Hey there! Do u have time today to discuss our lord and saviour Jesus Christ some of my pointless thoughts?? No? Well ok ima just aggressively stick my foot in the door and continue speaking anyway 🙃

All it took was a click of your tongue for him to snap his jaw shut

If this isn’t an endorsement for clicker training then idk… it should be haha

undoing his bow tie

Not the vibe I was expecting lol but I can roll with that I guess😂

Mommy has to work twice as hard as all of her friends to be taken seriously by her clients

AMEN SISTA , PREACH

“How many do you think you deserve, kitten?”

Ok folks, as a kid who got in a moderate amount of trouble when I was younger, this right here is the WORST 😭😒😒😒😒

I hate it when ppl ask me to contribute to the brainstorming for my own punishment, like imagine u show up in court and the judge was like ok now what should ur sentence be?

Idk dude, why u making me do YOUR job?? I’ll give u an answer when u give me a law degree and a seat on the Supreme Court.

Otherwise, idk just hit me with the death pen so this can be over

“Twenty.”

Tbh I was SH-OCK-ED w/ 3 syllables 😳 like bro that’s a lot ?? Imagine Prometheus gets chained to the rock and Zeus is like so how long u think u should stay here having ur liver being torn out by eagles every day and P is like well… forever sounds fair😫 lol I can’t

By the time you reached sixteen he was openly crying,

Dang dude is a trooper 😳I would have been calling my lawyer to start the appeals process or make up some habeas corpus BS to get me outta there

his body rolling as his cock spurted cum all over your desk

The clean freak in me:

You On Top and Me Underneath

Kinktober Day 7: Spanking

Pairing: kitten!Johnny Storm x shark!fem Reader (NLLYL)

Words: ~2k

Summary: You’ve had enough of his attitude.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual (dom/sub vibes, femdom, mommy kink, anal play, salad tossing), bratty Johnny, surprising softness, established relationship, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: This went in a drastically different direction than I had planned but I kinda love it? I imagine this being while they were further into their relationship, like Johnny knows what she expects from him but sometimes that bratty attitude just wins out. I’m honestly a little in love with them.

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

“Study.” Your voice was dangerously low when you walked through the front door, Johnny fighting between snapping to follow your orders immediately and really throwing a tantrum. But then you growled, and your tongue swept across your bottom lip in that way it did when you were furious, and he felt his stubborn, bratty attitude start to dissolve. “Now.”

He knew when he had fucked up, exactly which shot of vodka had shifted him from just pouty to straight up bitchy, the lack of attention from you making him want to stamp his feet and whine in your ear while his hands grabbed you everywhere. Which you absolutely did not appreciate, even though the look of pure shock on your face when he walked up behind you and pinched your ass in front of your partners had almost made it worth it.

Now you were back at your apartment though, and you were giving him that look like you were deciding the best way to tear him apart, and he was pretty sure all of his drunk ideas were about to get him into a world of hurt.

Johnny only dragged his feet a little when he started making his way to the study, pouting at you over his shoulder in an attempt to soften you up but quickly deflating when he saw the snarl on your face. He picked up the pace when you cleared your throat again, swallowing thickly when he finally stepped inside the study and tried to keep his spine up a little when you prowled past him.

“I didn’t…”

“I don’t remember giving you permission to speak, kitten.” You were soooooo pissed, he was in so much trouble, whimpering when you shook your head when he attempted to step closer to you so he could kiss that spot on your neck that made you sweeten up on him. “You stay right there.”

“But…”

All it took was a click of your tongue for him to snap his jaw shut, a low whine escaping from him when you moved to your bar and poured yourself a glass of Clase Azul. He knew that you would give him a piece of your mind once you had a few sips, even though his inclination was to plead his case and try to appease you so he could spend the rest of the night resting his head on your thigh and licking your pussy to make it up to you.

“What am I gonna do with you kitten?” You sat on the edge of your desk and gave him a firm look, the high slit of your gown sliding open so he could get a good view of the long line of your bare leg in those Jimmy Choos and god he wanted to let you wrap that leg around his neck. “Explain to me exactly what was unacceptable about your behavior tonight. Mommy wants to know you understand what you did wrong.”

“I… I embarrassed Mommy in front of her friends.” He didn’t think mentioning the actual pinch was a good idea, not when he saw the way your jaw clenched when he just brought up embarrassing you. “And I threw a fit when I thought I wasn’t getting enough attention. Made Mommy have to leave her party early because I drank a little too much.”

“That’s good, kitten.” The corner of your lips quirked slightly when you saw him melt a little bit, tapping your heel against the hardwood floor as you kept slowly sipping your tequila. “Didn’t Mommy promise you she would give you all the attention you could want if you were a good boy? All you had to do was stay by Mommy’s side and look pretty and make a little bit of small talk. Why couldn’t you do that, baby?”

“I just, I got bored.” Johnny shuffled his feet and shifted his gaze away from yours, wanting the floor to open up and swallow him whole as shame washed over him. “I hadn’t seen you all week and then when I finally did I had to share you with a bunch of other people and I didn’t like it.”

“Oh, kitten.” You finally finished your tequila and set the glass aside, taking a deep breath as you watched him struggle with himself. “C’mere, baby.”

He sank to his knees and mewled when you gave him permission to move, crawling towards you slowly and practically choking on his desire to apologize when you spread your legs and let him kneel between them, running your palm over his buzzed hair as your other hand reached down to start undoing his bow tie. You tsked softly when he leaned to rub his cheek against your wrist, gripping his jaw firmly as you brought his gaze to yours and started tracing the toe of your pump over the inside of his thigh.

“Mommy has to work twice as hard as all of her friends to be taken seriously by her clients, if you had pulled your little stunt in front of one of them instead of her partners, do you understand how bad that would have been?” You dragged your thumb over his bottom lip when he nodded for you, purring softly when you felt him roll his hips under your foot as he let out another needy sound. “You understand I have to punish you, kitten? It’s not gonna be an easy one, either, you were very bad.”

“I understand, Mommy.” He would let you do anything to him, he just wanted to make you happy, letting you undo the buttons of his shirt and slide off his tux jacket as he gazed up at you adoringly. “I’m sorry.”

“Good boy.” The way he sobbed and his eyes rolled back in his head when you praised him almost made you want to go sweet on him, but he needed to learn his lesson. You pulled him with you and removed his shirt when you stood up, hushing him when he tried to nuzzle into your hair as he whimpered while you undid his fly. “Bend over the desk, kitten.”

Johnny’s breath was heaving through his chest when he did as you ordered, his eyes fluttering closed when you yanked his trousers and boxers down and tapped his calf so he would step out of them. You were moving so slowly, your touch almost tender as you rose to your feet and trailed your fingertips up the backs of his thighs. It made the anticipation so much more intense, Johnny waiting for you to go grab the crop or the paddle you tended to save for when he was especially bratty and practically holding his breath.

“How many do you think you deserve, kitten?” You gave him a smile that he couldn’t see when he sighed at you softly stroking his cheek that wasn’t pressed to your desk, the manicured nails of your other fingers tapping against your desk as you waited for him to answer you.

“Twenty.” He gasped and arched his back when you slid one of your feet between his, spreading his legs for you so you could see how hard his pretty pink cock was, how it twitched when you pressed your hand to the small of his back while he tried not to vibrate off the desk.

“Twenty then.” You braced the hand you had on his back as the other ran over the curve of his ass, rubbing his smooth skin as he let out a low moan. “Count them out, and don’t you dare fucking come without my say so, or I’ll add ten.”

“Yes mommy… ah!” He yelped when your palm cracked against his ass without any warning, the stinging warmth spreading across his backside made even worse by the rings you had kept on that he completely forgot about until this moment. “One!”

He kept his teeth gritted for the first five, biting out his counts each time your palm landed against a new spot on his increasingly pink cheeks. It was always surprising just how much force you were able to put behind your slaps, some of them actually making his hips slam into the edge of your desk while he groaned and screwed his eyes closed.

“Mm-mm, kitten.” You tapped his cheek after the sixth spank when you saw the way his face was so tight and strained and pausing so you could check in on him. “Baby, you need to breathe, you know Mommy wants to hear all the pretty noises you make.”

“Yes, I’m so-sorry Mommy, shit!” He tossed his head back as he sobbed when your hand bounced off the crease of his ass right at the tops of his thighs, the sensation making his balls clench up tight against his body as he did his best to breathe deeply. “Seven.”

By the time you reached sixteen he was openly crying, drool running down his chin and pooling on your desk as he sniffled and screamed, all his emotions mixed up as you gently ran your hand over his back even as you smacked the shit out of him. His eyes still searched for you, though, his watery gaze finding yours as he sucked on his bottom lip when you gave him an almost soft look.

“You’re doing so good, kitten.” You cooed when he shrieked as your next slap landed on his taint, rubbing the skin after and making his dick throb against your desk as it leaked precum everywhere. “My good boy, I knew you could be.”

“Seventeen. Thank you, mommy.” Johnny couldn’t take it when you started giving him those tender touches in between your aggressive slaps, his legs almost giving out when you pressed your thumb against his asshole before you cracked your fingers right above his balls. “Ungh, eighteen.”

“So close baby.” You decided to let it go when you smacked his balls and he missed the count, his legs finally collapsing when you spread his cheeks and spat right on his pretty hole. “One more and then I’m going to lick this soft little boy pussy until you really make a mess all over my desk, which had better not take long, and I want to hear you thank me like a good baby boy.”

Your hand landed against his hole unbelievably hard and he shrieked, his back arching him off the desk violently when you sank to your knees behind him and thrust a finger inside him to press right against that sweet spot as your tongue fluttered all around his twitching skin.

“Mommy! Thank you… thank you, mommy… mommy… oh thank you…”

The poor thing was babbling as his balls emptied in what felt like an explosion, his body rolling as his cock spurted cum all over your desk and his torso while he sobbed and wriggled and squeezed your finger. You waited for his body to still before you rose to your feet, hushing him when he cried softly as you pulled him up to lean against your shoulder. His face immediately found the crook in your neck where he always settled when he wanted to feel safe, his lips pressing against your skin as he whimpered while your hands ran over his back.

“My sweet little kitten.” You hushed him when he kept trying to choke out more apologies, tilting his chin up so you could give him a reassuring smile before you pressed your lips to his gently. “C’mon, honey, let’s get you in bed, I’ll rub some lotion on your poor, sweet ass before I let you soothe by licking mommy’s pussy, okay?”

Johnny could only nod at you as you guided him out of the room on his wobbly legs, his lips never leaving your skin as he gazed at you and contemplated the fact that he was pretty sure he was in love with you and would do anything you wanted for the rest of his life.

[irltrexxx]

japan week 1 pt 2

dang can’t believe it’s already been three days since i updated! time flies here. let me try to go back in time...

on wednesday after havin my coffee n bfast (yogurt and honey i think) and applying for some jobs i went on a walk to costco and the surrounding stores, as well as a sizeable park. the google maps directions took me on some serious backroads (like it felt like i was cutting through people’s backyards) and the people i ran into seemed surprised to see me. observation #1 of the day: not many gridded streets in zama. i ended up running into the western edge of the park first before arriving at costco so i looked around a bit. the park’s public bathrooms are in the shape of a log.

i then spent some time brainstorming the most logical order of places to visit and decided costco>super viva home> sanwa>park. so i kept walking.

costco was bumping as per usual. they had japanese cops directing car and pedestrian traffic. i am thinking about getting a membership just for the pizza but am not sure if that is crazy. $50 us dollars and i would have access to the food court and i think they do whole pizzas to go...no oven here so definitely could not accommodate those monster frozen pizzas in the fish grill.

next i went to super viva home which is across the parking lot and is a mix between a home depot and a bed bath and beyond and a pet store. aka it is amazing. seriously super.

when i got inside the first thing i saw was a huge bike section. i will likely not get a bike here cuz i am terrified of riding bikes in traffic but they are all so beautiful. you can get a nice cream and brown cruiser with a fat seat and basket for like $190-250. and there are so many bike accessory stores.

next i made a beeline to the lighting section because i’m still on the hunt for a small lamp for the room i’ve set up camp in as my hang out room. patrick has three bedrooms and i am using one as a closet/exercise/tv room. there’s an overhead light but it is super bright and i don’t like overhead lighting typically. so i just want a simple floor lamp or ambient light i can use in the evening. but, observation #2: overhead lighting seems to rule surpreme. in the entire lighting section there were maybe 3 floor lamps and 5 table lamps. everything else was overhead. and the lightbulbs are insanely expensive! like $20 for a lightbulb. i know ikea sells a floor lamp for $9 so i will sit in the dark until i make it out there.

then i wandered around the rest of the store. there was a pet section with more tiny expensive dogs, as well as bunnies and ferrets and fish. there was a garden center but no herbs were out for sale (i am especially keen on basil and already found the pots i want at daiso). there were aisles n aisles of cleaning supplies and cooking supplies. so much good looking enamel cookwear. there was a camping section with tents (none cheaper than $200 :/). japan seems to take camping pretty seriously and i hope i get to go camping while i am here!! there was also a hardware section that was mostly boring except for the clothing section (great rain boots), mini temple section (didn’t take pic but you can buy pre made temples for shrines), and earthquake supply section (flashlights and freeze dried foods).

i left super viva home empty handed :( and i knew i did not need any groceries because i had too many leftovers at home to eat. i cooked japanese curry the other day and was gonna reheat it with some frozen croquettes for dinner. so i went back to the park! it was a nice day. overcast but warm. i sat and drew for an hour and then walked home.

that was wednesday. thursday....did much the same. had bfast, applied for jobs, then walked 3 miles to a park west of ebina station. that walk was not pleasant cuz i chose to go the most straightforward way which happened to be along the highway. i did see this park with a cute strawberry gazebo:

google maps didn’t give me great walking directions so i ended up hitting a dead end and having to maneuver through neighborhoods to get to the park, but i finally made it! this is a large open park and because the forecast was for sun and 70*f tons of people were out. there were school groups having picnics and moms with babies and old people power walking. the park is along the river and has views of a nearby mountain range. there’s a mini golf course and exercise equipment. i did a lap around the park to see the sights, then used the public bathroom, then sat down to regroup.

after regrouping i decided i did not want to walk back the way i came and that i’d take the train back to zama from ebina. i was hungry too so i decided i would go back home, have lunch and a beer in the sun, then do groceries later. so that’s what i did. browsed the stores at ebina station real quick then hopped on the train and went home for lunch. i ended up taking a nap in the sun post lunch beer and got a little sunburned. woke up at 3 a little hazy and went to the local grocery store to get stuff for dinner: greens, pork, sesame oil. then for fun, strawberries and sakura wagashi.

i got home and made dinner then ate dinner and watched tv. ahhh back to my old routine!

now we’re caught up through yesterday. friday...bfast, jobs. i got an email back from berlitz language schools asking for more info so i filled out that questionnaire. then i went to sagami ono (3 stops in the direction of tokyo) to hit up uniqlo for interview clothes (positive envisioning!) and more spring clothes that are not all black long underwear.

i got to uniqlo and guessed at my sizes, picked up all larges and some mediums. also brought some shoes in to try. i read about dressing room etiquette before arriving thankfully so i knew when i entered i would need to take off my shoes and put a veil over my face to protect clothes i tried on from any make up.

i ended up being a size small to medium in uniqlo and a size 25 in women’s shoes, which is INCREDIBLY lucky because that’s the max size they sell in most stores. i took a risk and bought some navy blue wide leg pants, light blue oxford, and black flats for interview clothes. probably i need to pick up a blazer or cardigan. i also got a brown skirt to wear when it gets hot and two t-shirt’s that were on sale.

then i wandered around sagami ono station. it’s a huge mall. i went to a department store basement to look at the fancy food, then the odakyu ox (grocery store chain owned by the train line, odakyu), the to sanwa. sanwa was great. they had everything i wanted (naan bread, salami, craft beer) and were cheap. i bought my groceries and headed back to zama.

i had a phone date with my bff from seattle whitney then i did my exercises (200 crunches, 200 squats, 200 lunges). then i made pizza in the fish grill! naan bread with tomato sauce, the rest of the cheese i brought back from italy, and salami. it turned out pretty well!! all of the ingredients were a little sweet but i put some sriracha on and no problem.

that’s it! now it’s the weekend and it’s supposed to be really nice. might see black panther, might go to enoshima island...lots of options!

ps forgot to mention patrick bought me an mre from base!! stay tuned for my youtube style mre review!

[iameverything]

A Conversation: Bedhead

“Bedhead is a dreamy Indie synth-pop musician that hails from Toronto Canada.”

First off, who are you? Hello! I’m Veronica, but you probably know me better as Bedhead! I like all things art. Music, painting, photography, drawing, etc... I like to do it all! I’ve been singing since before I could even talk, and a musician for almost my entire life.

Tell me about your journey and how it all led to the career and name that is Bedhead? Aside from music, my background is actually in multimedia and communications. But after graduating, I was really miserable doing the whole 9-5 corporate thing found myself missing creative outlets in my work. I started a job hosting art parties which I loved, but that made me realize that I really missed actually performing in front of people. At this point I was working on a music project with a friend, but that never saw the light of day. I realized that I wanted to pursue music, I had this vision of what I wanted to do, and no one was going to make that happen but myself. All these things were sort of like little streams leading to a bigger river, and that’s how Bedhead was born!

I liked the name Bedhead for a number of reasons. The main reason is that it represents leaving a place of safety like your bed but still showing up anyway. It takes a lot of strength to do that. When I started writing music, I was going through depression. Anyone who has experienced this knows that some days getting out of bed is the most difficult chore. But getting up despite your struggles, maybe not totally together or perfect but still trying, shows incredible resilience. Aside from that, I’m a pretty active dreamer (sometimes I wrote songs in my sleep!) and I also get a lot of compliments on my curly hair so it pays tribute to that a little too haha.

Do you or have you ever had any affiliation with the 1998 Texas rock band Bedhead?  STORY TIME! As you can tell above, I put a lot of thought into names… sometimes too much. I kid you not, it took me about a year to pick Bedhead, and I had more than 20 potential names for this project in the SHORT list. Any artist knows as soon as you think of a name you like, look it up. When I looked up Bedhead, I found this Texas rock band that broke up over 20 years ago and my family and friends thought it was perfectly fine to use the name. Just in case, I found their website (which looked like it hadn’t been changed since ‘98) and sent off an email, I had no idea if it was still active or anything. The name at this point meant so much to me, it really represented everything I wanted this project to be, and no other name I had thought of came close to it. I didn’t hear back for a while and told myself, if this name is meant to be, they will respond, and either way I will be okay. One of the members responded the next day! Gave me his blessing AND the website. I believe most of the members are now in Atlanta, I would love to meet them someday.

Let’s talk your recent single Fight No More, I must say, it is so damn good and the video is fantastic. If your fans could take any message from the new single, what would you want it be? Wowow thank you so much! The message to its barest bones is that you don’t have to take crap from anyone, even yourself. When I was going through depression, I eventually hit this wall where instead of getting sad, something snapped, and I realized I didn’t have to a prisoner to my own mind anymore. I wanted the song to come from a point of view of dealing with another person, like “If my depression were a friend who I knew was no longer good for me and my well being, what would I say to them?”

Like I mentioned the music video is fantastic, the color in it is great. Where did the idea for the music video come from? Who shot it? Since the song is written from the perspective of two people but really about an inner battle, I sorta envisioned myself fighting myself. Like trying to take back control of your life from your own demons. I had that brief plot outline when I pitched the idea to the director, Jacq Andrade, but that was about it. She immediately understood what I was going for, and we had a great brainstorming session. We both love colour, and wanted the visuals to be eye-catching. The result was the beautiful trip inside the psyche that is this music video. She’s a total visionary, and I’m so happy we brought to life.

Your first single you put out that made everyone first take notices was Bitter, a favourite of mine; With two singles out of the bag, do you already have an idea for an album coming up? How is the process been going for that anyway? Yes! Bitter and Fight No More are both going to be on an upcoming EP coming this year! The idea for the EP has been brewing for quite some time now, so I’m excited to finally share what I’ve been up to since last year. It’s been an awesome journey getting to this point, a lot of self discovery and inner reflection, trying different ideas and sounds to find what works best with the vision.

What is your thoughts on labels wanting to give "makeovers" to new artists they sign? I try to stay open to change while still being faithful to myself. I mean even how I write music changes all the time!  We’re constantly exposed to new experiences, people, places, etc. and I try to stay open to how they might inspire my music. When we close ourselves off to new or different ideas because they don’t fit what we’re “trying to do” we limit our creativity. Even if I don’t know what the change will bring or where it’ll take my sound, I think as artists it’s how we grow.  

What sort of things/artists/ideas inspire you these days to create the music that you do, in the style you do? I am always inspired by nature, usually more in my photography, but lately it has been creeping into my music too! There’s a song on this EP about that...

When can fans look forward to Bedheads next show and what can they expect? We’re currently in the process of tweaking the live setup, we have drums now!! We’ve been in winter hibernation practicing, making some visuals, getting everything ready so we’ll be ready to rock for some late winter/ early spring shows. Stay tuned!

Rapid fire: If you were not called Bedhead what else would you want to be called? Dang, I deleted that list of names! I remember liking V a lot. Favorite venue to play in? Might be too early to call, but my first show at Ildsjel Collective will always have a special place in my heart <3 Favorite current underrated artist/band? Does underrated mean I think more people should know about them?! If so, I’ve been listening to an artist called Malory! Favorite current song that isn't your own? It Might Be Time - Tame Impala Secret to a great song? It’s gotta be great with just piano/guitar and voice.

[backtothestart02]

Fallen Star - Chapter 3

A/N: Finally an update. Thank you all for your patience. I am going to make an extra effort to only be updating this particular multi-chap (aside from the occasional 2-3 parter) until it's finished.

*Many thanks to my beta, @valeriemperez, who always gives her absolute all in her edits and helping me brainstorm. She is forever the best. <3

Chapter 3 - 

The Monday after Christmas, which was really only one day later and far too soon to come back to work as far as she was concerned, Iris sat at her desk in her own personal office only vaguely aware of what she was actually doing.

Which was nothing.

Her computer was on with a blank document open before her. Internet browsers were minimized with nothing but the CCPN website and a Google search. She couldn’t remember what story she was supposed to be looking into, couldn’t even remember what time it was or if she’d taken a break yet. Probably not. She only took lunch breaks usually. At least, she thought that was her norm. Today anything was possible.

The click-click-clicking of her pen as it bounced on and off the desk was eventually interrupted by the light knock on the door.

The new sound came again, this time against the door frame, which meant the door had been opened. Vaguely she wondered why she hadn’t felt some sort of breeze gush past her ankles or the tendrils of hair coming undone in her sloppy braid.

“Iris.”

She blinked, turned slowly around and fought hard to register who was before her.

“Iris?”

The concern was warranted probably. She was so out of it, so sleep-deprived from a night without happiness, a Christmas without Barry – the first in over fifteen years! Anyone who cared about her at all would worry, and Linda didn’t even know about the break up.

“Hey!” Linda snapped her fingers in front of Iris’s face after closing the office door behind her. “Earth to Iris?” She propped herself on the edge of her desk and stared her down, softening when Iris’s blank stare didn’t alter. “Babe?”

Iris closed her eyes and told herself to get her act together. She couldn’t stay in her head all day, not even involuntarily. She had to do work. She had to…

“Christmas not go well?” Linda smoothed down one of Iris’s curls.

“Barry and I broke up.”

Linda’s hand dropped down and landed in her lap. The silence was deafening.

“What?” she finally managed, the word a heated whisper.

Iris nodded once and opened her eyes.

“Yep.”

Linda scoffed. “Why the hell would Barry Allen break up with you? You’re the total package.”

“Apparently I’m being too reckless by doing my job. Since I said I wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t be with someone who tried to make me stop, he decided to break up with me.”

Linda’s eyes were flaming darts.

“Bastard.”

“Yeah, well…”

“When did he break up with you? Don’t tell me he did on Christmas.”

“Christmas Eve,” she replied, sarcasm and hurt clear as day in her eyes and fake smile.

Linda’s face fell. She looked as distraught as Iris felt.

“Oh, honey.” She got on her knees and hugged her best friend. “This absolutely sucks. I’m so sorry.”

Iris swallowed, still numb, tears still not falling. Linda pulled back to look into her eyes.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You were in Denver with your family, Lin. I didn’t want to interrupt that.”

“Fat ass excuse, and you know it, Iris. You’re my best friend and my family annoys the hell out of me. Consoling you over a forced family dinner where no one really agrees with anyone but we all pretend like we do for the sake of the holiday? I’d take you any day, even if it’s for a rotten reason.”

Iris swallowed and nodded. Linda hugged her again.

“Did it absolutely ruin your whole Christmas? Was there nothing to salvage?”

Iris’s shaky sigh broke Linda even more. Her heart ached for her best friend.

“I didn’t see him all day, Lin. I’ve spent every Christmas with him since we were eleven. Over fifteen years and not one Christmas without him. It absolutely wrecked me.” Her breath hitched.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Linda declared. She got to her feet. “I’m going to march over to CCPD right now, and not even his speed will avert my wrath forever.”

Iris reached out and grabbed her best friend’s wrist before she could take off.

“No, Lin, don’t.” She took a breath. “Please.”

Linda’s brows furrowed. “Why not? He hurt you. He deserves to pay for it.”

“Maybe.” Her shoulders slumped. “But not today. Today I just want to forget. I can’t even work, and I’m so…so frustrated by that. I love work. I can’t get enough of it. But today, I just…”

“You should’ve called in sick.”

“And do what? Stay home staring out my window like I did all night? Wondering what he’s doing and if he’s as miserable as I am or if he just feels plain relieved that he doesn’t have to try and restrain himself anymore?”

“I’m sure he’s not relieved, Iris.”

“Some part of him might be.”

“It’s not like you’re going to stop doing your work. He has to know you’re going to go out there again.”

“And he’ll be there to stop me when I do,” she grumbled, irritated by that fact for the first time since their big fight.

“Did he say that?”

“I think it was implied.”

“What were his exact words?” she demanded.

Iris sighed and leaned back in her chair, forcing herself to remember the conversation that had plagued her for the last forty-eight hours and desperately wanted to forget just so she could keep living.

“I believe his exact words were…’I won’t let that happen. Even if I have to speed you away every fucking time you decide to test whether or not you’re faster than a bullet.’”

Linda’s jaw dropped. “He swore?”

Iris nodded once. “He swore.”

“Dang.” She leaned against the side of Iris’s desk. “Guess that means he’s serious.”

Iris sighed. “If I’d had any doubt, him not showing up at our Christmas party sure proved me wrong.”

“Ugh. This totally sucks, Iris.” She folded her arms tightly against her body.

Iris laughed. “You said that already.”

Linda’s lips twisted ruefully. “Sorry.”

Iris shook her head. “It’s alright. You’re not lying. It seriously does.”

She tilted her head. “How can I help?”

Iris nearly burst out crying.

“Get me through today, and then make sure I forget the worst day of my life as soon as we leave this building.”

“Deal.”

She held out her hand for Iris to shake on it, which she did. Then Linda darted out of the room, confusing Iris but then making her eyes sparkle as soon as she returned with two coffee cups in her hands.

“First step, caffeine.”

Iris held the cup close to her, taking comfort in the warmth teasing her nostrils and warming her hands.

“I did forget this morning. That’s a first.”

“That’s why you have me,” Linda informed her and bumped her cup with her own.

…

 That evening when Joe opened his front door and found Barry standing there with a box marked Iris’s things, he didn’t know whether to be concerned, angry, or confused.

He went with shocked.

“Bear. What are you doing here?” A thought occurred to him, and his eyes widened. “Are you—Are you coming for dinner?”

Barry almost laughed, but it was no laughing matter, so he shook his head instead.

“No, Joe, I just came to drop off Iris’s things.” He lifted the box slightly to show him, even though he knew Joe had seen it. The box was huge and Iris’s name on it was in big, bold permanent lettering. “I know she’s coming by later. I thought you could give them to her.”

Reluctantly Joe took the box from Barry.

“I wish you’d stay, Barry.”

“I can’t, Joe.” His voice nearly disappeared for a second.

“Not even for me? I didn’t see you at all for Christmas. That hurt me too.”

Barry nodded, avoiding his eyes. “I know. I’m sorry about that. I just couldn’t…”

“We all missed you. Cisco, Caitlin…Wally…”

Barry blinked and looked up at him. “Wally missed me? I can’t picture that. He must want me dead.”

“Nobody knows, Bear.” He continued before Barry could interject, which he looked about to do. “Nobody knows except Cisco. He might’ve told Caitlin, but I didn’t break the news to Wally. It was clear Iris didn’t want anyone to know, but Cisco couldn’t get a hold of you. He almost left the party to check on you, which would’ve gotten Wally’s attention, I think, and—”

“I got it, Joe. It’s okay.”

“Did he visit you afterwards? He did leave a little early, and with no real explanation either. Caitlin wasn’t far behind him.”

Barry sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“I didn’t see Caitlin last night, but I definitely saw Cisco. Neither of us were pleased to see each other.” His eyes shifted away from Joe’s sad ones for a moment. “Did, uh…the night wasn’t a complete waste, was it? Better than last year at least.”

Joe sighed and adjusted his grip on the box.

“I can’t tell you which one was worse, Bear. Last year when my daughter hated me so much she refused to have Christmas with me or this year when the two children I raised, who love each other more than life itself, were absolutely miserable and the one I saw couldn’t light a smile on her face even she wanted to.”

Barry closed his eyes, guilt flooding through him.

“I didn’t plan for it to happen on Christmas, Joe. The fight just happened, and I lost it.”

“You could try to talk your way through it, you know. Give her a couple days and then ask to have a talk. If you grovel, she’ll eventually take you back. She can’t live without you any more than you can live without her.”

Barry’s lips twisted. “Cisco said about the same thing.”

Joe’s eyes lit up, hope dangling before his eyes even though he sensed there wasn’t enough cause for it.

“Well?”

“I can’t, Joe. This fight was a long time coming. Iris isn’t going to stop risking her neck any more than I’m going to stop saving her before she gets herself killed. No matter how level-headed we are during our next conversation, those facts will not change.”

Joe’s shoulders slumped. “That’s why you broke up?”

Barry’s brows furrowed. “Yeah. Didn’t Iris tell you?”

He shook his head. “She barely said a word all evening. Just said that you did when I asked what was wrong for the zillionth time. I knew she wasn’t sick like she said. I know my daughter. That’s not sick. That’s heartsick.”

“I’m not trying to hurt her, Joe. You have to know that.”

“I know.” He nodded. “And I agree with you that she shouldn’t be running into danger. Nothing scares me more than any of my kids getting physically hurt, or worse.”

Barry swallowed hard, a vision of Iris at gunpoint just before he’d sped her away the last time literally seconds before the bullet hit her chest.

“Yeah,” he managed, “I know.”

He wanted to vent to Joe more about how Iris scared him with her persistent dash into the line of fire, but he didn’t want anyone else attacking her. Just because he had a temper in regards to it didn’t mean she had to get it from her dad too. Or her brother. She would learn soon enough that running into danger had its consequences, but not because someone yelled or she got hurt. She would learn by being saved over and over until it was drilled into her brain that her life meant more than a story. He refused to believe otherwise. Even if she hated him for the rest of her life, he would make that clear.

“You’re sure you won’t stay?” Joe ventured again, though he knew it was a lost cause.

“I won’t starve,” Barry said, as if that was what was behind Joe’s request.

Joe nodded, half-tempted to argue a little more, but knowing in his gut now was too soon. Having both his kids – or maybe all three – at the dinner table would be awkward as hell and might even result in a fight. Then Wally would know what was up and there would be a throw down. That was a toxic situation. Iris would tell her brother when she was good and ready.

“Right. Well, have a good night, Barry. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Barry gave a brisk nod.

“Night, Joe. I’ll see you at CCPD in the morning.”

Joe backed into the house and gently closed the door, deaf to Barry’s wretched sigh from the other side.

Barry raced away back to his apartment, which was cold and empty without Iris in it. He turned on the kitchen light, dropped his keys on the counter and reached into the cupboard for the stale cereal he’d bought a month ago, the only food in the whole place that didn’t have a touch of Iris on it. She hated the stuff, and once she said so, he’d instantly stopped eating it. She didn’t live in his apartment, but she was there so often that he implemented every suggestion and preference she made – from his food to his clothing to the shows he watched and where they went out to eat.

“You don’t have to change everything just because I say so, Bear,” she’d remarked once, to which he’d grinned and shrugged and pulled her close.

“I like to see my girl smile. My girl doesn’t smile as much when she sees something she doesn’t like.”

She’d laughed and rolled her eyes and kissed him. It was enough to never want to go back to anything he’d preferred before, anything at all that she didn’t love. And it was nothing he hadn’t generally liked before she’d declared her love for it. But now he loved all of it and it hurt like hell.

Iris was all over his apartment. Everywhere he looked he saw her and memories of them. Taking down the decorations off the half-decorated tree on Christmas and stuffing it in the trash as soon as he woke up the next morning hadn’t helped one bit. He’d taken out what she hadn’t touched. Now he was stuck with everything she had.

*Also available on AO3 and FFnet.

[celatvm]

hola ! me again , jaz , surprise surprise ! this is my last chara , until i either choose to drop someone or kill someone off , ronan lancaster . i’m just gonna’ get straight into his info bc ! i honestly don’t need to write another intro at this point, u guys know my dang life story, so . feel free to hmu or like this to plot as usual , even tho im super slow at replying to ims . <3 ( also there might be a lot of typos nd stuff bc i wrote this all off the top of my head when i was brainstorming him so forgive me oops )

TW: murder, suicide attempt, self harm, night terrors.

i frickin hate cole sprouse nd everything related to him but . unfortunately jughead from riverdale is a rlly good comparison for ronan .

pretty much a loner . despite his brother being mr popular, ronan tended to keep to himself, not bc he disliked anyone in particular, but because he was more comfortable w his own company . he never liked how ppl tended to become fake around one another, and always appreciated people who were honest and good , though admittedly he found them harder and harder to come by as time went on .

isn’t great w people or holding conversations , though isn’t opposed to lending someone an ear if they need it . if he’s sat at a bar with nothing to do , he isn’t the type to shoo someone away , instead fine to allow them to speak until they feel it necessary to leave . 

suffers from resting bitch face , so ppl tend to be like . .. maybe i should stay away from him . usually has his earphones in so he kinda screams ‘leave me alone’ sldkjakjs .

he can make . .. .  sarcastic quips that may or may not offend . bc he spends a lot of his time away from people , he doesn’t really know what can upset someone nd what can’t ? he’s got a dry sense of humour and never means to offend , but often does . bc uk , useless . if given the chance he’ll apologize , but he won’t run after anyone to do so , which leads to people thinking he’s kind of an asshole . ( shock , all of my male charas are horrible in some way or another , a pattern )

in all seriousness tho he’s a lot better than both holden nd chiwon bc he genuinely isn’t out to upset anyone . whereas holden ? hates people until they’ve proven themselves and chiwon hates . . . everyone , ronan doesn’t form opinions on ppl until he knows them . he’s a good bean who’s always up for standing up for the little guy .

in fact he has a tendency to try nd save people , something he developed due to aiden being his younger brother . this led to him falling in love w a girl who was addicted to drugs when he was nineteen , though she unfortunately fell victim to an overdose just months later . although ronan has always been a loner , he used to be much more inclined to let people become his friend , but after his brother and ex girlfriend died , he chose to distance himself .

didn’t live full time at the lancaster household , instead had an apartment in new york where he’s been for the past year . however he came home for aiden’s birthday and, due to his death, hasn’t left since , choosing to sell his apartment and find one in rosewick for the time being instead .

he’s an amateur filmmaker and always has a camera on hand as well as his laptop . you’ll more often than not find him editing away on his laptop or watching other people’s short films . when he’s not making films , he tends to do freelance photography to pay his bills , as films take much longer to create and can be a poor source of income , but his day job is volunteering at the animal shelter .

when he was in ny he got home late one night and , as per usual , he took a shortcut through an alley to get to his apartment , only as he made the turn to head down the alley , he witnessed a man being beaten to death . the sheer violence shook ronan enough as it was , but the man’s attacker noticed ronan and nearly killed him too , threatening him to keep his mouth shut or bad things would happen . of course ronan was plagued with night terrors after this , no amount of medication being able to keep the horrors at bay , and eventually he slit his wrists in an attempt to escape . he was found by a friend and taken to the hospital, where he was committed for his own safety before being allowed to leave after a month . because he was an adult and had a friend to keep him on the straight and narrow , it was kept from his family , and he’s constantly wearing things with long sleeves to hide the giant scars.

when aiden first started the crimson roses ronan was actually ! a member, shockingly enough , but he left bc he never really appreciated that life . for the short time he was there he was a con artist and thief but he traded it all in . however , he does have one rose tattoo , gained after asking the other roses if it was ok , and it represents his brother’s recent death . it looks like [ this ] . things between him and most of the roses are fairly tense , as part of him does blame them for aiden dying .

[adityatodi]

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Today is a pretty chill day. We have a panel in the morning. Of Vietnamese entrepreneurs—Ngoc Anh Hoang (Founder TEDx DaKao), Pho Pham (Viet Capital Ventures), Thomas Grove (dx Saigon and sefu fashion brand).  They talk about the rapid pace of development in the country in terms of both real estate and human capital (professional skill level). 50% of the population here is under 25 and the internet is playing an increasingly important role in bringing knowledge amongst them. There is one super cool fintech startup they mention that is using mobile data to help assess credit worthiness of unbanked population to help them get loans more easily.  The term that I have heard a few times to describe Vietnamese’ is “hustler”. One of the entrepreneurs, Thomas Grove, is working on a jacket for motorbike riders that is a protective jacket in case they fall and is also light, non-sweaty and good looking. He mentions that for him the design thinking process is about getting people to give feedback to you on your product/prototype on a consistent basis. After the panel, we have a quick meeting with Professor Alison Mnookin who is checking in on how our team is doing. Afterwards the team meets by the pool to do some brainstorming around a couple of pending questions Minh had for us. We then head out for lunch at a popular local Pho place, Pho Phu Vuong. Since the place does not serve vegetarian Pho, our guide ordered some noodles from a different place for me ahead of time. It’s these small thoughtful gestures which show you that someone truly cares---attention to detail not in the way consulting teaches you to care about that missing semi-colon, but attention to details to a person’s life. The Pho place is popular for lunch for people working in this area. For $3 you can have an entire huge bowl of pho and meet. I find it interesting that our waiter actually pulls a plastic stool and is sitting in the same room in case we need anything.

We head back to the hotel after lunch. I spend time on my laptop uploading and updating my blogs, catching up on emails, etc. Around 4:30, head out to Ben Thanh market with Vimala. The market is full of t-shirts, food, fake branded purses. Rows after rows in either direction. The inside of it reminds me a little of the Pom-Pom market in Kathmandu. While the Ben Thanh market is a big tourist attraction, it is underwhelming and nothing novel. While walking in the area we suddenly see a Hindu temple. The temple has statues of all the different gods on the outside and the main statue in the inside is of Kali-Ma. The names of Gods have been Vietnamized, so Kali Ma becomes “Kaliyamman”, or Brahman becomes “Birman”. Even the facial features of the Gods have more South-East Asian features. While we’re there, we see worshippers who look Vietnamese (and not on Indian descent) come and offer prayers. Hinduism took root in the country among the Cham people and they along with the Indian Hindus remain the main followers of Hinduism. It’s the Cham people who are spread throughout the continent in Cambodia, Thailand, etc and the force behind the temples in Angkor Wat and Bagan. It is fascinating how culture spreads and adapts to local context over time.  

From the temple we walk over to the Café Apartment. Now this is one novel place and I have not seen anything of this sort before. The Café Apartment use to be a residential building with small apartment units. These apartment units now have been turned primarily into café’s and shops. One can keep climbing multiple floors and each floor has a café, each with it’s own unique aesthetic—one is a cool hip place vibrant with music, another is dreamy for people who want to come have a coffee and read a book or write while another is like a Victorian chic tea house. Coffee and conversations are had at Thinkers and Dreamers and then I head over to Ngon restaurant for our team dinner with our client—Minh. I get the Thai curry, which is really tasty. But more than the food it’s the ambience which is awesome. It’s a huge place with amazing oriental décor of lamps and green plants. Conversations are had about HBS, Minh’s time there, his childhood, why he decided to return back to Vietnam and why the movies. Growing up in a very poor family where even food was scarce he describes going to the movies for the first time and being amazed by the experience. He wants more people to feel the thrill of the cinemas. The story of his parents who were soldiers and factory worker and overtime delved into different businesses and improve their financial well-being is super inspiring. After dinner we go to an ice-cream place, Bach Dang, which has amazing coconut ice-cream. Back to the hotel, some work on the laptop and off to sleep.

[thejoycefordblog]

Sprucing up for Spring

We all know the quote, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Well neither are our homes. Creating a space and a home authentic to you and your family takes time. I’m slowly learning and leaning into this truth. Patience doesn’t come naturally to me. I think many of us, or maybe even most of us could all use a little more patience in one aspect or another. But, we live in a culture where everyone wants instant gratification, even though deep down we know all good things take time. Time to nurture, time to build, time to grow…this home is teaching me that. When my husband bought our last house, he had time to fix it up and even after we were first married, it seemed as though we had all the time in the world to spend making our home unique to us. That’s just not the season of life we are in right now, there are bigger more important things that take priority right now and I’m okay with that…little by little our home will get there and every step of the way we will learn, grow and make memories in this little fixer upper of ours. Which brings me to today’s post. I have the pleasure to be teaming up with some of my best blogging buds to share a “Spring DIY Blog Hop” So when you’re done here, be sure to head on over to the other blogs to read all about their DIYs.

Please just know, this room is not perfect and far from complete, but I hope you enjoy what I have to share with you today!

The first DIY I want to share with you are these fun pillow covers. I’ve shared on IG before how I like to use fabric placemats to make simple and inexpensive pillow covers. I took that idea a little further and used these floral napkins and tea towel from the Hearth and Hand line at Target. For $15 I created 3 pillow covers and it only took me about 10 minutes to make. It doesn’t take much skill. Simply line your napkins up patterned sides facing each other and sew around three edges. Turn right side out and stuff your pillow in. I left the whole bottom open [like a pillow case and you’d never know it was open] I did the same with the tea towel for my longer pillow, except I only sewed along one edge [the long edge] and left the two sides open. Easy Peasy!

As you can see the baseboard and crown moulding has finally been installed, next up some caulking, sanding and we’ll be all ready for paint!

I found an old street map of Philadelphia in a book I thrifted a while back. I bought this frame from Target for $15 and I’m loving it in this room. Next to it, is our next DIY, that beautiful table. If you follow along on IG then you know we opted to paint over the teal blue on our fireplace wall. We decided to go with a creamy white wall and and bright white trim for this room. As excited as I am for all that white, I wanted to make sure I was still incorporating colors. I have a pair of old teal shutters that I thrifted last year just laying in our basement. I loved the teal color and was trying to think of how to incorporate them in this room. I really wanted something unique. After brainstorming I came up with the idea to make a table using one of the shutters. Because my husband is a saint, bless him, he gave me a hand with the hard part, assembling it! From my perspective it looked easy enough. We found these pretty wood legs at Lowes. Then Brandon, measured and cut our skirt for the table. We screwed the skirt onto the legs and then attached a brace at each corner. [I have that pictured below] He attached the shutter to the legs and skirt from the bottom with screws and ta-da, we had a table…a horrible tutorial, I’m sure. If you have specific questions just leave me some comments below and I’ll ask the professional Next came my job, painting! I really had my heart set on creating a two tone piece. I didn’t want to lose the beautiful teal, however to save money we used wood we had on hand, which happened to be pre-primed. So staining the whole bottom wasn’t an option anymore. I remembered we had left over paint from the fireplace and even though it’s not an exact match, it’s pretty dang close and still allowed me to create a two tone effect!! I’d love to hear what you think? Scroll on down for more pictures!

You can see the color isn’t a perfect match, but I really don’t mind it! It’s called Riverway from Sherwin Williams you can see it here.

A few little progress pictures below and a few more source links for you! Thanks so much for stopping by today, Friends! Remember to check out the other blogs, links are listed below! Blessings and Happy “almost” Spring!

Faux Fiddle // Lamp // Sheep Skin // Basket // Plum and Sparrow Basket – similar  // Rug // Throw Blanket // Velvet Pillow Covers //  Diffuser

Spring I DIYed That

A Cuter Tutor | The Homemaking Momma | Noting Grace The Tattered Pew | Joy in Our Home

Little by Little Farmhouse | My 100 Year Old Home | Repurpose and Upcycle Pennies From Heaven Home | Uniquely Taylor Made

Great post originally from The Homemaking Momma

[nathandgibsca]

Beyond BuzzFeed: How I used quizzes to generate 10,000+ qualified leads

“Mom, can I have $5 to buy a comic book and some chips?”

And by “comic book” I meant unwholesome magazines filled with smutty novel excerpts, make-out tips and, QUIZZES.

Oh my, the quizzes.

They’re the REAL reason I bought magazines (before BuzzFeed took over the quiz universe).

Tell me…

… do you remember taking any of these quizzes from Seventeen Magazine?

Are You Paranoid? (ummm, yes, I’m fourteen – the whole world is out to get me)

Is It Really Over? (Pretty sure it never even began, except in my head)

Do You Play Mind Games? (That’s how I bought this magazine, so heck yeah)

The power of a quiz has not tarnished since the late 1990’s.

Lots of marketers make this big mistake: assuming leads from a quiz are unqualified.

They don’t have to be – if you create your quiz right.

Like the one quiz I ran that brought in 172 additional course sales, resulting in an extra $25k in just two weeks. That’s not counting lifetime customer value, BTW.

It’s basic human nature to want to know ourselves better.

Even if it’s just for fun.

Sherry Turkle, MIT psychologist and cultural analyst, explains the popularity of modern quizzes as a way of dealing with our existential dread and altering how others perceive us. It’s not so much taking the quiz that people enjoy – it’s sharing the results.

Here’s how she put this phenomenon:  

“They’re specifically for performance. Here, part of the point is to share it, to feel ‘who you are’ by how you share who you are. [It’s] the conflation of who you are and who thinks you’re okay.”

  I know what you’re thinking:

How can quizzes help me to grow my bottom line?

‘Cuz we’ve got businesses to run and serious goals. But quizzes will help you achieve your ambitions. Specifically in terms of lead generation.

According to LeadQuizzes, the average quiz has a 33.6% lead capture rate – though in the quizzes I run, I typically see much higher conversions.

Plus, interactive content is far more powerful than a regular ol’ guide. According to a CMI survey in 2016, 81% of respondents agreed that interactive content grabs attention more effectively than static content.

Dang, that means more than 3 out of every 4 people is hooked by a quiz.

If you’re not impressed yet, that’s cool – but consider these additional points:

They’re fun. When scrolling through social media, you’re more likely to click on something with entertainment value. (Helloooo, Facebook time suck.)

The average quiz is shared 1900 times. No more forking over handfuls of cash for Facebook ads – quizzes are your new BFF.

Ideal lead magnet to attract people in the first stage of the buyer’s journey / TOFU.

You may think you’re being approachable with your 25-page free guide. But a total newcomer isn’t going to invest their time or energy in reading that. They’re in the wrong stage of awareness. What they will invest in is a quiz.

Take a look at this chart:

    Quizzes for lead generation… and beyond!

Quizzes are NOT going away. If you think they’re below you or too hard to make, you’d be wise to reconsider. Here’s why.

1. A quiz (aka interactive content) is the future

According to BuzzSumo, the average quiz gets shared 1,900 times. Compared to the average number of shares on an article, you’re entering an entirely new dimension of social media sharing stats. Interactive content is the nectar of the conversion gods.

A CMI Survey from 2016 stated that:

75% of marketing participants said they anticipated that their company or organization would increase their utilization of interactive content marketing.

As you can see from this chart, the future is already here, my friends:

BuzzFeed’s top stories just a few months ago were ALL quizzes:

2. You get more insight into your target audience

I spy with my little quiz a marketer that just hit the jackpot. 

Quizzes rock because you get to exercise your super spy powers to better understand your ideal client’s needs and desires. This sounds creepy – I know – but it helps you offer more value.

Here’s why:

You get to see the quiz’s results. Often, one result out of 4 or 5 outnumbers the others. Talk about some powerful insight to guide your future content and copy that your audience will resonate with.

It’s like asking people to fill out a survey… except it’s actually fun for them.

As Coy Whittier of Qzzr said:

“Relevant data allows you to offer a personalized content experience. Quizzes provide a way for you to get that data in a way that people like.” 

3. Segment your list the easy way

Contrary to popular belief, email marketing isn’t dead. In fact, it’s getting more and more sophisticated. You have the power to craft targeted marketing messages for specific segments of your audience – as long as they’ve told you where they belong. 

For example, you run an online business that teaches entrepreneurs how to start and grow their business. Someone just starting out needs an entirely different approach vs. someone who’s already successful.

But finding out who your audience is and getting them on the right list isn’t always straightforward.

Sure, you can send a survey or use the ASK method right off the bat. Without an incentive, who really wants to fill out a survey? I know, I know – micro-commitments are legit, but what if there was something a smidge easier?

Lucky for you there is.

It’s a quiz.

Quizzes make segmenting your list fun for your audience AND they’re just as effective as a survey. Talk about a win-win.

Here’s how you do it: Create your quiz results based on your different audience segments.

Set up tags for each one. Automatically place quiz takers in the most-appropriate funnel. 

K, I see your cocked eyebrow and objections forming on your lips, like:

Are quizzes effective for E-VERY niche?

Are all quizzes going to be a home run?

And lastly, the humdinger of them all:

What makes a truly killer quiz?

Y’know, a quiz that people can’t help but want to click-through and invest 5 minutes on? That’s what I’m about to show you.

How I attracted 10,000+ new leads with just quizzes

You might be surprised at how much work goes into creating a high-converting quiz. One that makes people fall in love with you like you’re Leo on Seventeen’s July ‘98 cover.

Coming up with a great quiz idea is easy. Things get mucky in creating relevant questions and juicy outcomes. Mucky enough to make most people throw in the towel.

Writing highly compelling quizzes – ones that people want to share – is both an art and a science.

Just like any piece of content, your quiz needs to be engaging. You don’t want to make your audience feel like they’re answering questions on a government survey.

Your questions and results have to connect back to your bottom line. In other words, the data you’re collecting needs to be relevant. And the quiz results you create should loop back to the solution your brand provides. It’s all a little mind-boggling.

Writing a quiz doesn’t have to be a struggle. Just follow the blueprint I’m about to outline for you and you’re well on your way to the Quiz Hall of Fame.

Step 1: You create a quiz topic based on who you want to attract

The title and description for your quiz have to capture your target audience’s pain point and solution. It should be inspired by the question: What keeps them up at night? 

My mom started menopause a few years ago. She’s always talking about hot flashes and mood swings and all the annoying stuff that goes along with it.

One day I stumbled upon Dr. Sara Gottfried’s quiz and immediately sent my mom the link.

She loved it. Because it spoke to exactly what she was experiencing and the outcome she desired.  When your message is on point, getting ideal clients to convert is not a challenge.

Here’s an example of Dr. Sara’s quiz.

  Step 2: “The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge”

Thomas Berger said it best:

Ask the right questions and you’ll be swimming in data that can help you refine your messaging and strengthen your value props.

Quizzes are good for more than just leads… and telling your friends which Game of Thrones character you are.

Questions help us understand our prospects and get to the root of how we can help them.

So, how do you come up with your quiz questions? Formulate your questions around what you ultimately want to sell.

For example, if you’re selling business coaching services, sse your questions to prequalify potential leads.

Like this question from a quiz “Should You Hire a Business Coach?”

Because of that question, you know this biz offers customer feedback analysis services. Now, with these quiz responses, they’ve got data about how ready their TOFU prospects are to engage in the sales funnel.

Selling products? Use your quiz questions to help your potential customer understand all the possibilities you can offer them.

To make your quiz creating process easier, I put together some example questions: 

How often do you _______? (ex. Work out, review your quarterly goals, get mad at your kids, etc.)

On a scale of 1-10, how ______ are you? (ex. Happy with your relationship, satisfied with your job, etc.)

A genie grants you one wish. What do you choose?

How likely are you to ________? (stop eating meat, stick to your budget, not check your email for a day, etc.)

Which image best describes your ________? (perfect living space, business, wedding style, etc.)

You should start with these questions in your brainstorming, methinks.

Or check out The Conversation Starters World – my go-to resource for creating outstanding questions that people will want to answer. (Psst, it also boasts a great collection of q’s for those of us who hate small talk.)

Step 3: Write outcomes that give a glimpse of the solution

Creating shareable outcomes that provide value and offer a peek at the solution you provide is an art.

But THIS is what differentiates your quiz from yet another brainless Buzzfeed post.

A major benefit of using quizzes for lead generation is that people share their results. (That’s why you’re reading this, right??)

Overwhelmed by all this juicy info? Grab my free email course and learn how to create a compelling quiz in 6 bite-sized lessons (plus steal my successful quiz swipe file) 

The copy you create for your outcomes should offer insight AND a few actionable strategies. Offer real value. The last thing you want is for people to feel like you wasted their time.

Step 4: You test a few copy variations

This step loops back to the first one: know your target audience.

Understand how they speak, what Facebook pages they like, their age, demographic, and beyond. Set up a few targeted Facebook ad campaigns.

Test a few variations of your quiz title and description against each other to see which performs best.

Step 5: You follow up with welcome emails 

A welcome sequence will warm up your cold leads. Which is exactly what you want.

Long story short: it helps them get to know you. Because odds are they took your quiz for fun. If you don’t follow up, they’ll forget you exist.

Or worse, they won’t ever have known how you could’ve potentially helped them.

You want to get those new leads into a funnel designed to:

Help you learn more about them and where they’re at in the buyer’s journey

Introduce them to you and your values, so that they can start to know, like, and trust you (before any selling happens)

Provide value and depth that far exceeds anything a little quiz can deliver

Enter the ever-gentle Welcome Email Sequence

A welcome email sequence is akin to the build-up towards intimacy in a new relationship. It’s your chance to make new subscribers in the awareness stage happy – nay, thrilled – to have you in their inbox.

When it comes to lead magnets that involve minimal commitment from the subscriber – like a quiz – a welcome sequence is more vital.

Otherwise, there’s no real reason your new leads should remain on your list when you start sending them emails appropriate for other stages of the buyer’s journey.

Cover these key items in your welcome sequence before selling anything:

Offer your new subscribers a clear overview of who you are, what you do, how you do it and why.

Establish understanding and connection. Set the scene and let people get a really good idea of your brand voice and overall tone.

How can you learn more about your new subscribers? Give them a reason to hit reply and tell you something about themselves.

Build trust and offer value. You can offer a free discovery session, send other free resources, PDFs, videos and links to popular blog posts, give them your best stuff right off the bat – they just might love you forever.

Tell your story and share why you give a damn.

A carefully crafted welcome sequence is a key ingredient for a leak-free funnel and essential to make sure those new leads stick around.

How you attract qualified leads from a quiz

It’s possible – you can create quizzes just as clickable as the ones you see on BuzzFeed. The caveat is they must have a purpose beyond mere entertainment.

What I’ve learned – through much trial and error – is quizzes come in two flavors:

BuzzFeed-style quiz where you capture a ton of leads (that aren’t really qualified)

Quiz like one stolen from Seventeen Magazine’s pages where you offer a solution to your ideal client’s real or perceived problem

Both of these outlets have very different purposes. BuzzFeed operates primarily on a traffic generation revenue model. The content itself doesn’t really matter as long as it gets the click.

You want to copy Seventeen’s purpose which is aligned with a business goal: sell magazines. Their alluringly corny quizzes help them do that.

You have something to sell, right? Make sure your quiz relates back to your overarching purpose: to sell your product, service, or course.

Will a quiz work for my niche?

The short answer is yes. From my experience, quizzes work for just about every niche.

However, they work exceptionally well in these niches:

Health and wellness

Personal and spiritual development

e-Commerce

But if you’re creative, the options of a quiz can work for all types of industries, like:

SaaS

Online service providers

Real estate

Non-profits

… and the list goes on

One thing to keep in mind is that personality quizzes tend to perform best. According to popular quiz platform, Playbuzz, 77% of quizzes that have been shared 100,000 times or more are personality quizzes. So, if you’re gunning for the fences, create a personality quiz.

For example, Dr. Kelly Ann Petrucci – whose bone broth obsession instantly makes me love her – brought in over 40,000 leads with her Gluten Intolerance Quiz.

Or discover the best facemask is for your personality, compliments of the ever-popular Birch Box:

The quiz fun doesn’t stop there. If you sell services like graphic design or photography, create a quiz that gives you better insight into your client’s needs.

Take a look at this quiz by Eight Three Five Creative, a boutique digital marketing and graphic design business:

Even realtors and other professional service-based businesses can benefit from quizzes. Check out this quiz from MyDomaine … now, honestly, tell me you wouldn’t take this quiz if you were house-hunting?

In your quiz, use you can use images, ask questions you might normally be embarrassed to ask, and gain a ton of insight into what the market wants.

“Naw, quizzes wouldn’t work in B2B or marketing… right?”

Neil Patel saw a 500% increase in leads after implementing quizzes. This is coming from someone who already has everything optimized for conversion to a degree far greater than 99% of online businesses.

Check out a few more of these client case studies that LeadQuizzes put together:

Or these ones from Interact:

If these folks can do it, so can you.

To recap, here’s your seamless system for creating quizzes that convert:

Know your audience

Ask quiz questions to lead back to what you sell

Quiz outcomes give glimpse of solution

Test quiz copy variations

Use welcome email series to warm up leads

Now let’s play a game. Drop your best quiz title ideas in the comments below. Funny, serious, business-driven or downright ridonculous—let’s get quizzical!

~Chanti

The post Beyond BuzzFeed: How I used quizzes to generate 10,000+ qualified leads appeared first on Copywriting for startups and marketers.

from SEO Tips https://copyhackers.com/2018/02/beyond-buzzfeed-used-quizzes-generate-10000-qualified-leads/