#dane dehaan obsession is coming back

[spider-stark]

i’m getting the urge to watch chronicle again. we all know what this means.

[mrscorcoran]

One more secret won't hurt / Bunny x reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Notes:

I imagine Cam as Anya Taylor Joy with her deep voice and big eyes

And Bunny as Dane Dehaan because he's hot af

________________________________________________________

Chapter 7: Potato foxes and new friends

A few days pass after I saw the Greek class at the library, and no calls or texts come from any of them. It was silly thinking that after one short interaction I’d make an impression, enough for them to actually reach out to me.

I talked to Judy after the encounter, but she clearly isn’t very thrilled about my interest in the strange group, so I kept most of it to myself, only giving her a few details that prompted her to tease me once again about Bunny. I’m getting used to it and now I can almost get through it without blushing.

It’s not until the fifth day after the library that I finally give up hope and stop checking my phone every hour. I start to feel normal again, as the initial obsession starts to leave my body, so I grab a notepad and pen, and head out to the big tree by the fountain, intending to do some writing.

I settle down on a cozy blanket, my back resting on the trunk of the big tree, and take my stuff out my bag. I observe the people passing by, all dressed in warm, puffy clothes, chatting away, arm in arm with their friends. I feel a pang of loneliness deep in my tummy, and shake it off, opening my notepad on my lap.

I manage to write a few paragraphs that look semi coherent, when a loud shriek makes my skeleton jump out of my body. It takes me a second to realize the shriek was actually someone yelling my name. I look around and immediately spot the blonde girl rushing towards me.

- “Hey! It is Y/K, right? Hope I didn’t get your name wrong,” she says, sitting down next to me.

- “Camilla, hi! That’s right, no worries,” I smile at her, a bit startled by her sudden presence.

- “I was hoping I’d run into you! Well, I’ve been looking around for you the past few days, to be honest. I have no idea where you live and Bunny sort of lost your number, the big idiot, so I had no way to reach out to you,” she rambles, taking a few things out of her bag. A pair of weird, long, metal prongs, a big ball of orange yarn, and a tiny, deformed potato looking thing. “Is it cool if I sit with you while I crochet?” she asks, already moving the hooks before I’ve even answered her.

- “Of course! I was actually kind of sad none of you had reached out. I know it looked like an offer to help with homework, but that was me trying to make friends,” I laugh, feeling relief that I hadn’t made a complete ass of myself before, and at least Camilla was interested in being friends. I wonder how Bunny lost my number, though.

- “I was hoping that’s what it was, I don’t have many friends either. Being a classics major is a lonely path…” she looks away, lost in her thoughts, but before I can think of something to say, she speaks again. “Anyways, do you crochet?” she asks while skillfully moving her needles over the potato figure, and I realize it’s actually a small face with a small snout, probably a fox, judging by the color.

- “Oh, hell no, I’d probably stab myself with one of the needles while learning. I’m not very skilled with my hands,” I chuckle.

She laughs but brushes off my self-deprecating comment before pulling a second set of needles and a ball of brown yarn out of her bag, and in half an hour I’ve already completed a line of stitches in the easy pattern she taught me. Her hair brushes against my arm when she comes close to check on my progress. The sound of her husky voice as she tells me stories about her childhood with her brother, about dinners with the Greek class, keeps me mesmerized. Her laugh is a very curious sound. I like making her laugh.

Hours pass. My notebook is discarded to the side, incoherent paragraphs still incomplete. A tiny, ugly as fuck little fox looks up at me. I followed her instructions, but my clumsy hands still managed to mess up a few stitches so one side of the snout looked smaller than the other.

- “See? Now you have a little friend, and nobody got stabbed,” she smiles, holding her perfect little orange fox. I look down at my brown fox and smile. Hell yea, I have a new friend.

We exchange numbers and immediately save them to our phones to avoid another incident. And thus started one of the great friendships of my life.

_________________________________________________________

Camilla is a much more complicated person than I initially thought. She’s awfully smart, as was clear from the very start, but she’s also so creative and curious. Anything new she can learn, she will try to. And so I found myself often dragged to various classes and workshops in the following weeks. ‘Knowledge can be a very lonely road, it is better travelled in pairs,’ she said one afternoon, holding my hand as we were getting ready for a taxidermy class. So, I became her knowledge partner. There were no complaints on my part, I love all the weird stuff we were learning. Soon I had a shelf full of small trinkets. Two taxidermied little mice, posed like they’re dancing on stripper poles, a couple ceramic mugs with little ceramic mushrooms sprouting out of the sides, a bunch of ugly amigurumis, a stained-glass window panel with a bee in the middle.

Spending time with Camilla was like a breath of fresh air after feeling lonely in my new life here at Hampden. We fit together so easily, our sense of humor broken in the same ways, filling each other in on the many years before we met, our childhood joys and traumas, successes and failures, fears and hopes. Life definitely got a lot brighter with Cam in it.

We’d drink until late in my bedroom while binging old X-files episodes and reading fanfiction out loud to each other, struggling to make everyone’s voices and accents, trying to make each other laugh.

We’d go hiking together and compete on who could find the most dick shaped things out in nature, be it rocks, mushrooms, branches, birds… (yes, at certain angles, birds can look like dicks.)

We’d have little coffee dates where we’d discuss the chapters we read of a book we started together.

It was during one of these coffee dates at a little café just on the edge of campus, just a few weeks after she found me writing by the big tree, that I saw Bunny again.

We were sitting at the back of the café, almost hidden by the stairs to the second story, the quietest spot in the place, quietly laughing about the book, when I saw him come in. His hair looked ruffled from the wind outside, his eyes looked a bit tired, he had bags under them. He was dressed in autumn colors, a dark green sweater, orangey corduroy pants and converse. Despite looking tired he still managed to look put together, even handsome. He hadn’t seen us and went up to the register to order his coffee.

- “Hey, stranger!” I waved at him when he looked in our direction, his face immediately brightened, and when the barista handed him the coffee he came over to our table.

- “Hi, ladies” he said, leaning down and giving us each a quick kiss on the cheek. “What’s up? What are you up to?” he asked, looking between us, his eyes lingering on Camilla for a moment.

- “Just having coffee and discussing books,” I smiled at him, holding up the book.

- “I see…” he looked shifty, like something was making him uncomfortable. “Uh, so, I’m sorry I never texted, I just-”

- “It’s okay, Camilla told me what happened, no worries,” I interrupted. He looked over at Camilla, an alarmed look on his face.

- “Oh. So, she told you that I-”

- “Yeah, I told her that you lost it. Always misplacing stuff. You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached to you,” she laughed, and they held eye contact for a fraction of a second. I could feel the tension, but I was unsure why. It was no big deal, Camilla and I still managed to connect.

- “Wanna join us?” I asked, pointing at the empty chair between us, trying to lighten the mood a little.

- “Oh, I would love to, but I’ve gotta run, I’m meeting Henry in 10 minutes. Raincheck though?” he asked, as he casually unlocked his phone and handed it to me. I quickly typed my number and gave the phone back after double checking the number was right.

- “Raincheck,” I smiled at him, and he ran out of the café, back to the windy autumn afternoon. Camilla and I went back to discussing the book and our little coffee date/impromptu book club meeting resumed. It was the first and last one we had by ourselves.

[fcknstar]

,, missing you "

zachorfman x fem!reader

a.n. : ngl, i literally see zach as a subby brat. i have not been posting alot, m vv sorry.. i realized theres not much zach imagines and ive been quite obsessed with him bc why not. OH AND ITS DANE DEHAAN BDAY!! i wrote this with couple more for his bday, meaning ill be quite active today. my taglist . AND I MADE A FEW GIFS OF MY OWN HAHA THIS TWO ARE SOME OF IT!

warnings : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, car sex, public sex, p in v

**lowercase intended**

being away to study abroad was a challenge that you and zach had to overcome. the loyalty, the trust and faith, the long distance. despite it being hard, you two managed to overcome it. 

after three full years of being away from each other, zach felt even more needy to be near you. every day he had to look at pictures of you and touch himself, pretending that its you. he thought itd be easy for him, thinking itd be an easy task. but no. 

when the day finally came for you to return, he couldnt help himself but tried to dress up just for you. 

he woke up at six am, which was far too early as your fight lands around ten. he brushed his hair the way you liked, wore such tight clothes the way you liked, sprayed on such a strong woodsy cologne you often complimented him on. 

it excited him knowing that you are finally coming back and his parents couldnt stop him from driving to your apartment. 

standing outside your door, he hesitated. it was a very different feeling for him. not seeing you for years changed the way he felt about you. have you changed for the worse or for the better? how will you accept him if you spent three years being around 'hot campus guys'? 

it was as if you knew he was standing right outside your door, swinging your door opened. zach felt as if it was the first time he took you on a date. you looked more beautiful than ever, you grew you hair out, probably had some layers. the way you dressed. he wondered if you had dressed up for him. before he could even say anything, you jumped in for a hug. feeling your warmth made him feel safe. the way you knew how to hug him, the way you buried your head in the crook of his neck. reciprocating the action, he held on tight to ypur waist as if you were going to leave him. he was the first to say a word. 

" i missed you. " zach whispered. 

" i missed you more. "

" hey, i heard theres this new diner in town.. do you think you can bring me there? " you pulled away from the hug, looking at him with wide doe eyes. 

grining boyishly at you, " im supposed to ask you out.. not the other way 'round. " its been a long time since he has heard you laugh. yes, you both do call daily, but your laughter feels more angelic in real life. 

getting in the car, zach feels more heaty than ever. seeing you in that filthy dress even if it looks innocent. 

" you alright? " you looked over at zach who had not started driving. it concerned you when he started to face you without an expression in his face. 

the next thing you know was that he pulled you closer to him, starting to kiss you needily. he wanted this to last longer, and maybe turned into something more than just a kiss. pulling you over the tunnel console, right onto his lap to get closer to you. you started grinding against him, feeling more horny than ever.

“ fuck..zach. may i? “ you felt his dick getting harder by the second. this was the reward you got after not being to see or even touch each other. 

“ mhm.. “ zach whimpered breathily. 

lifting yourself up to get to his zip, you saw through his tight jeans and saw a very obvious bulge. 

“ fuck ( name ), please? “ it was as if he was going to explode. he was finally going to get the real thing after years and the thought of it could make him come on the spot.

“ shh, i will get to it. be patient. “ another groan came out of zach.

finally pulling down his dick, you could see how restless zach became. his red tip dripping with precum. you were already wet enough and your slick cunt was able to act as a lube, making it easy for zach to get deeper into you. it was as could imagine his tip pounding against your cervix with how quickly you felt dizzy. the unfamiliar yet familiar feeling in your stomach began to catch your attention, zachs pounding didnt falter. him gripping onto your waist pushing you down his dick every time he pounds into it. stopping yourself from coming, you wanted to make full use of this. it was when zachs movements became sloppy. 

zach was very much vocal but had to bite his lips in order to not attract attention. connecting your lips with his, you muffled his moans. he didnt even want to try to dominate you through the kiss, surrendering himself to you without a single thought in his mind but you fucking him endlessly. releasing from the kiss, you started attacking his neck with sweet kisses he didnt want you to stop. he felt his pleasure intensify, you ducking on his sweet spot and you fucking him raw.

“ f-fuck ( name ).. m gonna come.. c-cant hold any longer. “ zach whimpered. looking up at him, you nodded, “ do it with me. “ he desperately wanted to you to continue kissing him. 

coming together, you sat on his lap with his dick still buried deep in you.  

[loomworld]

I became aware of Kill Your Darlings existence around 2021 when i was obsessed w Dane Dehaan (he was awesome in andrew's spiderman wiwiowdjdjodpqplq), The movie's main character is Allen and Lucien (Dane). Until now i haven't moved on and i really dont give a shit if u dont agree that they dont make a good mix. I feel like everytime I think about this movie the feeling comes back and its just that feeling again

[milliondollarbaby87]

2020 is the 15th anniversary of the BAFTA having the Rising Star Award which is voted for by the public. Starting in 2006 known as the Orange Rising Star Award and then since 2013 the EE Rising Star Award, this is due to sponsorship and pretty much helps the award with publicity and getting the public involved in the voting for the winner. 

SELFIE BOOTH trying out the “Selfie Booth” during dinner at Grosvenor House Hotel after the EE British Academy Film Awards on Sunday 16 February 2014.

Over the years as I have become more and more obsessed with films I know more about the nominees which in all honesty makes me feel very special and at times very geeky. Which I personally love and am very proud of, I felt coming up to the 15th year it was very important to take a look back at not only the winners from each year but the other nominees as well. The list is very impressive and it feels as though someone at BAFTA can certainly pick out rising stars in the best possible way, the nominees are chosen regardless of gender, nationality and whether they have made a breakthrough in television, film or both.

I guess at times the outcome could be influenced by the fan base which that actor has and if they are in a franchise they will probably be more known than others. But the important thing I want to look at here is the high level of not only winners but nominees and looking at where so many of them are now, so even being picked as the five can certainly be seen as a massive positive.

Year

Winner

Nominated

2006

(59th)

James McAvoy

Chiwetel Ejiofor

Gael García Bernal

Rachel McAdams

Michelle Williams

2007

(60th)

Eva Green

Emily Blunt

Naomie Harris

Cillian Murphy

Ben Whishaw

2008

(61st)

Shia LaBeouf

Sienna Miller

Ellen Page

Sam Riley

Tang Wei

2009

(62nd)

Noel Clarke

Michael Cera

Michael Fassbender

Rebecca Hall

Toby Kebbell

2010

(63rd)

Kristen Stewart

Jesse Eisenberg

Nicholas Hoult

Carey Mulligan

Tahar Rahim

2011

(64th)

Tom Hardy

Gemma Arterton

Andrew Garfield

Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Emma Stone

2012

(65th)

Adam Deacon

Chris Hemsworth

Tom Hiddleston

Chris O’Dowd

Eddie Redmayne

2013

(66th)

Juno Temple

Elizabeth Olsen

Andrea Riseborough

Suraj Sharma

Alicia Vikander

2014

(67th)

Will Poulter

Dane DeHaan

George MacKay

Lupita Nyong’o

Léa Seydoux

2015

(68th)

Jack O’Connell

Gugu Mbatha-Raw

Margot Robbie

Miles Teller

Shailene Woodley

2016

(69th)

John Boyega

Taron Egerton

Dakota Johnson

Brie Larson

Bel Powley

2017

(70th)

Tom Holland

Laia Costa

Lucas Hedges

Ruth Negga

Anya Taylor-Joy

2018

(71st)

Daniel Kaluuya

Florence Pugh

Josh O’Connor

Tessa Thompson

Timothée Chalamet

2019

(72nd)

Letitia Wright

Jessie Buckley

Cynthia Erivo

Barry Keoghan

Lakeith Stanfield

2020

(73rd)

TBD

Awkwafina

Jack Lowden

Kaitlyn Dever

Kelvin Harrison Jr.

Micheal Ward

Now you have had a lovely recap on not only the winners each year but the nominees as well it really is great to see that whoever BAFTA have working on this award they really do find the breakouts very early on. The prime example of this is Florence Pugh, her breakout role was Lady Macbeth yet for some reason not many people seem to have seen that film or remember it so saying 2019 was her breakout year which is very wrong in my opinion! So going forward pay close attention to this award and it will help highlight some very talented young performers that you can find current film or tv work and then also looking out for them in the future as well.

My love for film is huge and I love an award which appreciates fans views as well, as I mentioned earlier if the breakout is in a franchise it really could help with winning the vote. The nominees are all very impressive and some years it is now amazing to see how far some of these amazingly talented actors have come, the big majority still putting in great performances to this day in film, tv and even on stage as well.

I guess as well as looking at the history of this award it is also a small way of saying thank you to Orange and now EE for sponsoring this award for BAFTA. For this years nominees only Kelvin Harrison Jr and Micheal Ward are the two that I have not seen very many things for, so I am happy with the other three being rather well known to myself. I see that as reward for watching a love of film/tv. It does also make me want to catch up with the current work for those two though.

Do you pay much attention to this award? If not, I really would recommend that going forward you see the amazing talented young actors that will be looking to push forward in the next few years and have promising careers. It is certainly something I have been paying a lot more attention to in the past couple of years.

BAFTA Rising Star Award: A History 2020 is the 15th anniversary of the BAFTA having the Rising Star Award which is voted for by the public.

[stevethehairington]

Yall ever get those like memories of those Really Fucking Awkward Times You Made A Complete And Total Fool Of Yourself that just come back to absolutely assault you out of the blue?

Bc yeah, I just got one of the time me and some pals were in a group chat and they were sending pics of celebs they thought were hot and everyone would be like ooh yes totally after each one and then I jumped in and sent a pic of dane dehaan bc I was Obsessed with kill your darlings at the time and it was like. Fucking cricket noises in the gc after that and then someone was like no hes ugly and I have never felt more awkward in my life.

Sometimes I'll just randomly think about this moment and relive that mortification again 🤙

[polarisuhq]

Name: Peter Banning

Character: Peter Pan from Peter Pan

Age: 24

Occupation: Unemployed

Faceclaim: Dane DeHaan

Played by: Admin Bella

+ Charismatic, Imaginative, Adventurous - Impatient, Impulsive, Selfish

Peter was abandoned by his parents at the police station, and ran away from his foster home in search of them when he was ten years old. When he found them and realized they truly didn’t want him, he was devastated. When he returned to his foster home, he discovered they’d decided they weren’t cut out for fostering after all and gave him back to the system. Peter decided then that he would never trust adults and wished never to grow up and become one himself.

Unfortunately he did grow up, at least physically. Emotionally, he remained childish, clinging to that immaturity as a shield against people who might hurt him again. His impulsivity borders on recklessness at times, which makes one wonder if he actually despises his aging body to the point of being almost suicidal. It might be only because of his friends that he hasn’t done something fatally dangerous.

                                                 ~ Connections ~

The Darlings ~ Peter met the Darlings several years back. He spent many of his young preteen and teen years playing make-believe in the forest with them, until they started to get older and move on to more mature hobbies, something he felt betrayed by, especially coming from Wendy, who he’s had a crush on for “forever.”

The Lost Boys and Tina Bell ~ Peter’s group of fellow orphans and foster kids that he collected as a preteen and continues to keep as tight of a leash on as he can. He struggles to maintain the fun, playful relationship he had with them, as they are starting to grow up and move on as well, and he’s desperate to the point of almost obsession to keep them in his life as they were. Sometimes it seems like Tina is his only true friend, as she continues to play along with his fantasies.

James Hook ~ Peter’s sworn enemy. Despite the man allowing Peter to crash at his motel whenever he wants, he’s constantly needling the young man and berating him for being a leech on his establishment, offering him a job and actively trying to shatter his fantasies “for his own good.”

[giallo-jello]

What I Watched And Loved In January 2022

From here on,I will post some of my letterboxd logs on movies I had watched and enjoyed for each month. Starting it off with the first month of the new year.

Chronicle(2012,directed by Josh Trank)

Three high school friends gain superpowers after making an incredible discovery underground. Soon they find their lives spinning out of control and their bond tested as they embrace their darker sides.

I could not stop thinking about this movie after watching it.

It was so different from other found footage movies I had previously seen. It had such good CGI effects that still surprised me knowing that this movie came out 10 years ago. I loved how the unconventional directing styles became part of the movie’s story as well.

The main trio consisting of Dane DeHaan as Andrew,Alex Russell as Matt,and Michael B. Jordan as Steve were also the biggest highlight of this movie as well. They are all charismatic in their own way as well as being very talented actors. They were able to act like normal and sometimes awkward teenagers.

Its themes and characters reminds me so much of the anime Akira but without it being a complete rip off of it. Its a unique movie that I would love rewatching years to come.

Spider-Man: Far From Home(2019,directed by John Watts)

Following the events of Avengers: Endgame (2019), Spider-Man must step up to take on new threats in a world that has changed forever.

So December was when I was hyping myself up to get ready for Spider-Man: No Way Home to be released.(I have yet to see it due to the obvious setbacks so I’m waiting for a digital release of it.) And I almost forgot that I hadn’t seen the previous movie before it!

I don’t know if it’s an unpopular opinion or not but I really loved this one. The villain was really fun,the action scenes were great,I loved that they took their time to develop the characters more in this,and the comedy was way more funnier than Homecoming’s. I loved it.

Josie and The Pussycats(2001,directed by Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont)

A girl group find themselves in the middle of a conspiracy to deliver subliminal messages through popular music.

This was such a nostalgic trip. I was obsessed with this movie as a kid and i’m happy to rewatch it as an adult and see how much it holds up today.

While the fads in it is a bit outdated,with CDs,TRL,and 2000s fashion in all,the whole idea of corporations brainwashing ads to people through music is such a funny concept and entertaining commentary on it.

Speaking of music,the soundtrack is filled with pop punk songs that are amazing and catchy as hell.

Parker Posey is a camp icon.

And yeah...Josie and The Pussycats is the best movie ever!(Join the army!) wait,what just happened there?...

Plan B(2021,directed by Natalie Morales)

Follows a straight-laced high school student and her slacker best friend who, after a regrettable first sexual encounter, have 24 hours to hunt down a Plan B pill in America's heartland.

This deserves the same level attention as Booksmart,if not more. Sunny and Lupe(played by Kuhoo Verma and Victoria Moroles) have such good chemistry as believable friends. 

The jokes had me dying.(Especially at the cashier talking about her late husband.)

There are also amazing drama and emotional moments in between too.

I think this will be remembered as a Gen Z classic as the years to come when we look back on coming of age movies depicting this generation.(Well I hope so at least. I really hope this movie won’t get lost into obscurity.)

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988,directed by Tony Randel)

Kirsty is brought to an institution after the horrible events of Hellraiser (1987), where the occult-obsessive head doctor resurrects Julia and unleashes the Cenobites and their demonic underworld.

I had put off watching this for some time because I had heard the Hellraiser sequels aren’t good. The only exception from the general horror fans though,was that Hellraiser II was just as great as the original,and to my surprise it was.

This sequel is a great companion piece to the first movie. There’s more world building in this one,as well as more impressive special effects too.

The antagonists are even more menacing in this one also.

It’s a rare good horror sequel.

Pig(2021,directed by Michael Sarnoski)

A truffle hunter who lives alone in the Oregon wilderness must return to his past in Portland in search of his beloved foraging pig after she is kidnapped.

It’s so much more than the vague plot advertised,This movie is great at telling the human condition through its artsy cinematic lens.

Nicholas Cage gives a rare great dramatic performance. This movie proves he can do a subdued quiet role when a movie calls for it. I love how he and Alex Wolff interact with each other too.

The cinematography is gorgeous. I love how immersive the Portland scenery is,like its also a character of its own.

Well that’s all the films I think that stood out to me in January that I enjoyed watching. Hopefully,whoever reads this found it nice to read through and maybe helped find a couple of movies you would want to watch as well.

I will try doing this monthly when I can.(Hopefully.)

<3

[aion-rsa]

A24 Horror Movies Ranked From Worst to Best

https://ift.tt/3dkDWeU

It is arguable that no studio, distributor, or production company has had a greater impact on the horror genre in the last decade than A24. While Jason Blum’s Blumhouse Productions might also lay claim to that legacy, the remarkable thing about A24 is the company lacks a particular house style or formula for its filmmaker-driven indie releases. And yet the words “A24 horror movie” call to mind words like weird, offbeat, and unsettling. They’re frequently slow-boiling, and almost always greeted with reviews celebrating high-quality.

Every A24 horror movie is distinct, but they nevertheless claim a mystique which in less than 10 years has helped some critics make the dubious claim that the 2010s were “the decade of elevated horror.” We personally don’t subscribe to the theory that horror is a caste system of “elevated” vintages vs. cheaper swill. However, we are ecstatic A24 and other companies have provided unique voices the ability to reveal profoundly artful interpretations of cinematic dread. For that reason, we’re celebrating the indie tastemakers by ranking their very best (and sometimes not-so-great) thrillers and chillers.

So sit back and join us for a list voted on by our critics and horror aficionados.

18. Tusk (2014)

We begin our countdown with the rare A24 horror movie that comes not from a new perspective, but an old, one-time favorite. A defining voice in comedy and indie filmmaking during the ‘90s, Kevin Smith drifted away from studios by the beginning of the 2010s in favor of trying his hand at horror. I wish I could say the results were better than Tusk, yet this dispiriting attempt at body horror might be the high-point of his latter day monster movies.

Read more

Movies

Why Kevin Smith’s Superman Lives Was Ahead of Its Time

By Mike Cecchini

Originally constructed as a joke on Smith’s Smodcast podcast, the finished film is every bit as listless and rambling as a weed-fueled diatribe. Not that the movie is lacking in talent. Justin Long makes an appropriately smarmy podcaster named Wallace Bryton who’s travelled to Canada to find oddballs to interview and mock, but gets more than he bargained for when he winds up in the home of Howard Howe (Michael Parks). Ever the scenery-chewer, Parks gives more gravitas to the material than it deserves as a shut-in obsessed with recreating from a human subject the walrus which saved his life one snowy night following a shipwreck. The subsequent makeup effects are grotesque, but the movie stumbles over their reveals like a standup comedian who’s forgotten the punchlines.

It’s a bizarre and repellent narrative, and can’t even be saved by Johnny Depp’s admittedly amusing French-Canadian accent and Peter Sellers-eque transformation as a late arriving police detective. – David Crow

17. Slice (2018)

Austin Vesely’s Slice plays like the pilot of a potential television series. This isn’t because when it’s over you wish there was more, but that the film is so muddled in its narrative threads that you’re sure it was cancelled before more talent could be wasted. It’s a shame because conceptually there is a lot of appeal in Slice’s setup. As a horror-comedy about a small town where ghosts walk among the living as second class citizens, witches are pushy real estate developers, and the local werewolf is a misjudged Chinese food-delivering vegan played by Chance the Rapper, on paper this reads as hilarious.

Read more

Movies

Best Horror Movies to Watch on Shudder Right Now

By Rosie Fletcher and 1 other

TV

Buffy: The Animated Series – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Spin-Off That Never Was

By Caroline Preece

Unfortunately, the actual film is paper thin. Loosely following a series of murders inflicted on a crappy pizza joint’s deliverymen, the film never unties its tangled and knotted threads about ghosts and humans living side by side, or witches manipulating local city politics in a bid for demonic gentrification. And more damning than its Gateway to Hell is that none of this is very funny. At only 83 minutes, Slice feels like an eternity of waiting for a pizza that never arrives. – DC

16. In Fabric (2018)

When it comes to horror movies, A24 has certainly done its best to (mostly) steer away from the traditional tropes of vampires, zombies, werewolves, and masked killers. As a result, the company has attracted talent like British filmmaker Peter Strickland, who followed up the atmospheric Berberian Sound Studio (2012) and the erotic The Duke of Burgundy (2014) with this bizarre tale of a haunted dress.

The clothing item in question is a red number that passes from one owner to another, leaving a trail of death and destruction in its wake. Fortunately, Strickland plays a lot of this for laughs, smartly realizing that a sentient dress might test the patience of even the most diehard horror fan. The film is a slow burn, but Strickland finds just the right balance of weird humor and surreal horror to wring both laughs and genuinely eerie moments out of his odd premise. – Don Kaye

15. The Monster (2016)

Bryan Bertino’s The Monster is a strange one to include on this list, if only because at its heart this is an archetypal creature feature with little more to say than “boo.” Compared to other horror movies released by A24 this can seem slight, but when The Monster works, its boo is occasionally bloodcurdling.

Read more

Movies

Katharine Isabelle on How Ginger Snaps Explored the Horror of Womanhood

By Rosie Fletcher

TV

BBC/Netflix Dracula’s Behind-the-Scenes Set Secrets

By Louisa Mellor

Centered on a mother and daughter trapped at night on a country road with an obscured beastie in the woods trying to get into their broken down car, The Monster could’ve been produced as B-schlock in the ‘80s. Why it’s better is twofold: First the film leans into its atmospheric use of shadows and silhouettes by cinematographer Julie Kirkwood—who takes Steven Spielberg’s “less is more” approach in framing the monster—and second, there is the headlong dive into the unpleasant by Zoe Kazan. Playing a young mother who has little interest in her daughter or her well-being, Kazan’s Cathy reveals in one flashback at a time a cruel apathy far more beleaguering than the attacks of the titular monster in the present.

Alas the third act turns into pure pulp when the creature comes out of the shadows, and the cast and body count are needlessly increased. Still, the effect of some of the attack scenes, and Kazan’s nuanced exploration of a mother who fails to impress even herself, makes The Monster worthwhile. – DC

14. The Hole in the Ground (2019)

Being a single parent is hard. Being a single parent is harder when your child suddenly turns into a monster and you have to deal with the consequences. Such is the plot of The Hole in the Ground, A24’s solid but vaguely underwhelming chiller.

Lee Cronin’s debut may hit all the right parental panic beats, summon up a couple of worthy performances, and stick the mysterious, open-ended landing, but it still suffers compared to other A24 efforts because genre fans have seen it all before. As the film slaps a slick coat of paint over its influences, from Don’t Look Now to The Babadook and beyond, it elevates its fairly standard ‘changeling child’ theme, but in doing so it also gives us way too much room to breathe when we should be suffocating under the weight of tension between Seána Kerslake’s spiralling mother and her demonic son.

The result? A middling horror that you’re more likely to describe as “quite good” rather than “great.” – Kirsten Howard

13. Life After Beth (2014)

When a relationship is over, it’s over and it’s never the same if you go back: This is the central theme of Life After Beth, a zombie comedy about moving on. Dane DeHaan stars as Zach, a boy devastated after the death of his girlfriend Beth (Aubrey Plaza). But when she unexpectedly returns from the dead things just don’t quite click. Is it because the relationship has run its course? Or is it that she’s gradually turning into a flesh hungry undead monster? Either way things can’t carry on…

Read more

Movies

Zombie Comedies Ranked

By David Crow

TV

The Walking Dead vs. Real-Life Survivalists: How to Prep for The Zombie Apocalypse

By Ron Hogan

A light comedy with a strong supporting cast (Molly Shannon, John C Reilly, Anna Kendrick, Paul Reiser) Life After Beth made its debut at Sundance in 2014. Though zombie rom-coms are somewhat a dime a dozen these days, this one stands out for its performances and certain set pieces like zombie Beth hiking with an oven strapped to her back. – Rosie Fletcher

12. The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015)

As what I would argue is the most underrated horror gem in A24’s catalog, The Blackcoat’s Daughter is a wicked subversion of horror tropes that benefits from the less you know about its story. Suffice to say the film is a slow-burning march toward perdition told in triptych. With three protagonists, first-time writer-director Oz Perkins seamlessly drifts between the perspectives of Kat (Kiernan Shipka), Rose (Lucy Boynton), and Joan (Emma Roberts).

Read more

Movies

Gretel & Hansel and Returning to Dark Fairy Tale Roots

By Don Kaye

Movies

Best Modern Horror Movies

By Don Kaye

It is easy to see how the first two intersect, with Kat and Rose being the only two girls at their Catholic boarding school whose parents haven’t come to pick them up for winter break. How their long weekend connects with Joan’s separate hitchhiking through a snowy stretch of America is not immediately clear, but the bubbling sense of despair in all three narratives is omnipresent, even before Rose gives it shape by mentioning the urban legend of nuns worshiping the Dark One in the boiler room below.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter trades in horror archetypes, but then digs deeper by revealing untapped, feminine complexities to previously well-worn narratives where young women are merely vessels or victims. Unspooling like a waking nightmare, Perkins’ dreamlike atmosphere is only for the patient, but the climax is so shocking and brazenly subversive that it demands to be reexamined as the full extent of its desolation becomes clear. – DC

11. Climax (2018)

One could argue that every one of the five feature films directed by Argentine filmmaker Gaspar Noe, including such controversy-courting titles as I Stand Alone, Irreversible, and Enter the Void, has been a horror film in some way. Noe’s movies are often filled with nihilism, despair, and existential dread, with even the act of sex portrayed as an often violent invasion instead of an expression of love.

Having said that, Climax is clearly Noe’s most formal attempt at the genre yet, as a troupe of dancers isolated at an abandoned school begin to suffer from the effects of punch spiked with LSD during an after-rehearsal party. Predictably, the wheels quickly come off as the assembled dancers rape, beat, torture, and kill each other throughout the horrifying, increasingly frenzied night. – DK

10. Saint Maud (2020)

The directorial debut of Rose Glass sees a pious young nurse (Morfydd Clarke) who believes God talks to her directly, on a mission to save the soul of her dying patient (Jennifer Elhe). Saint Maud is a mix of psychological, religious, and body horror against the setting of a run down seaside town which plays like hallucinogenic social realism.

Clarke as Maud is terrific–slight of frame with a troubled mind, she is still a fierce warrior doing what she believes is God’s work from the humble hovel of her home. While Maud punishes her body in service of her spirit, her patient, Amanda, celebrates hers while it lets her down. As a former dancer, she will drink, smoke, and love in her final days.

Read more

Movies

The Scariest Films Ever Made and How They Frighten Us

By Matt Glasby

Movies

Saint Maud Review: Elevated Horror That’s a Revelation

By Rosie Fletcher

Glass’ debut is beautiful and powerful with a score, visuals, and setting that all contribute to a sense of disquiet that grows to a euphoric/horrific conclusion. An unforgettable film that singles Glass out as absolutely one to watch. – RF

9. It Comes at Night (2017)

The exact nature, origin, and spread of the grisly infectious disease that shreds society to pieces in It Comes at Night is never deeply examined; the movie is not interested in exploring the end of the world on some epic scale. Instead the effect it has is on a very small, very frightened group of people–two families that include Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Riley Keough, and Carmen Ejogo among their dwindling ranks–who are trying their best to stay alive and sane.

In that sense, the title of the movie (and, to a degree, the way it was marketed) is somewhat misleading. What comes at night is not some rampaging horde of flesh-eating walking corpses but rather the cold, insidious effect of fear, grief, and distrust. These two invisible threats eat away at what’s left of our civilized selves.

Director Trey Edward Shults (Waves) spares nothing and no one in this grim fable; by the time it reaches its inconsolably bleak conclusion, the cumulative effect of this quiet, bare bones film is devastating. – DK

8. Enemy (2013)

Before he tackled science fiction epics like Blade Runner 2049 and the upcoming Dune, French-Canadian director Denis Villeneuve made smaller, independent dramas and psychological thrillers. One of those was Enemy, which stars Jake Gyllenhaal in a double role as two men who are exactly the same physically but quite different in temperament and personality.

Based loosely on the novel The Double by Jose Saramago (who wrote the horrifying novel Blindness), Enemy is less a horror film and more an exercise in neo-noirish surrealism. It’s anchored by Villeneuve’s chilly direction and two excellent performances from Gyllenhaal, who deftly explores the definition of manhood, the male-female dynamic (as he navigates the wife of one man and the girlfriend of the other), and the nature of identity.

Enemy doesn’t offer easy answers and its shocking ending is very much open to wide interpretation. It’s a challenging early work from a director who’s now moved on to become one of cinema’s most ambitious science fiction auteurs. – DK

7. Under the Skin (2013)

Jonathan Glazer’s loose adaptation of Michel Faber’s novel is a strange beast to be sure. Developed over more than a decade, using several first time performers with scenes shot with hidden cameras, it stars Scarlett Johansson as a predatory alien scouring the Scottish countryside, picking up men that she then lures into a strange black liquid which consumes them.

It’s a convincing look at humanity through the eyes of an extraterrestrial, in all its oddness–from the kindness of girls in nightclubs, the utterly futile act of a man trying to save his drowning wife, and in doing so ending both their lives, to the idiosyncrasies of beans on toast and Tommy Cooper. Johansson is a revelation, going unrecognized in her interactions with real people, bringing an authenticity and later an aching sympathy to her performance.

If the ending is bleak, and there are moments of true horror, there’s levity here too, as well as something quite profound to be said about human nature. – RF

6. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

Greek filmmaker Yorgos Lanthimos–already a purveyor of the weird, surreal and darkly satiric before this or The Favourite, as seen with 2016’s The Lobster–went into full horror mode for this relentlessly unsettling tale of supernatural revenge in which a surgeon (Colin Farrell), his wife (Nicole Kidman), and their kids are made to pay for the death of a man who Farrell lost during surgery.

The impetus of all this is the man’s son, Martin, played by Barry Keoghan in one of the most disturbing performances of recent years. Farrell and Kidman are equally unnerving as their purposely stilted work in the early part of the film gives way to show the cracks in their seemingly perfect family façade.

Read more

Games

How Scorn Turned the Art of H.R. Giger into a Nightmarish Horror Game World

By John Saavedra

Movies

The WNUF Halloween Special: The Making of the Most Fun Found Footage Horror Movie Ever

By Gavin Jasper

The Killing of a Sacred Deer is horror at its purest: an unexplainable examination of what happens when the irrational intrudes on the rational. It leaves you rattled without a single jump scare or visual effect. – DK

5. Green Room (2015)

Writer/director Jeremy Saulnier followed up his excellent breakout feature, 2013’s Blue Ruin, with this taut, suspenseful and dread-inducing thriller set in the grimy, sweaty environs of an out-of-the-way punk rock club. There, a hardcore group on a micro-budget tour of the Pacific Northwest manage to grab a make-up gig after their original show is canceled, but find to their horror that the bar is a white supremacist hangout… and they’ve just witnessed a murder to boot.

It’s not surprising that Saulnier rings maximum tension out of the situation since Blue Ruin was such an accomplished piece of work. What is surprising is seeing Captain Picard himself, Patrick Stewart, playing the local neo-Nazi leader with such believable, low-key malevolence. The rest of the cast, including the sadly missed Anton Yelchin and the always reliable Imogen Poots, is equally effective in making this an exceptionally smart, intense roller coaster ride. – DK

4. Midsommar (2019)

Emerging director Ari Aster made two very different horror movies for A24 virtually back-to-back with Hereditary and Midsommar, and was vocal about the mental and emotional breakdown that ensued thanks to this near-impossible endeavor. Accordingly, Midsommar evolved into what could be considered a “difficult second album,” one which managed to exorcise some of his personal demons for both the entertainment and discomfort of an intrigued audience.

Read more

Movies

Midsommar: Florence Pugh Considers Ending Theories, May Queen Fandom

By David Crow

This ambitious, unsettling masterpiece about one young woman’s struggle to process trauma while she is simultaneously expected to perform the emotional labor of holding together a substandard relationship became a visual flipside to Hereditary’s darkness, creating a bright, horrifying world full of flowers, lush green pastures, and organic pagan rituals that all combine delicately to present us with a piping hot mug of “good for her” energy.

Though the argument over whether Hereditary or Midsommar is the superior film will probably never end, this often-hallucinogenic folk tale isn’t just one of A24’s best horror projects, but one of the greatest horror movies of all time, period. – KH

3. The Lighthouse (2019)

“How long have we been on this rock?” It’s a simple question posed by one lighthouse keeper (or “wicke”) to another in Robert Eggers’ The Lighthouse. But as anyone who’s viewed the movie can attest, its answer is nigh unknowable. Eggers’ follow-up to The Witch is as phallic as that first movie was feminine, as evidenced by the titular structure that old seaman Thomas Wake (Willem Dafoe) constantly demands his new second Ephraim (Robert Pattinson) keep scrubbed clean.

Filmed in black and white, and in a 1.19:1 aspect ratio—similar to what Fritz Lang used to shoot Expressionist serial killer movie M (1931)—The Lighthouse is steeped in the old ways of doing things, both as a piece of cinema and as a sea shanty of a tale. As writers, Robert and his brother Max Eggers revel in the nautical jargon of their characters, particularly Dafoe’s Wake, who is like a corncob pipe given legs. Yet Dafoe and Pattinson never descend into caricature; they instead feast on their Sisyphean characters.

Read more

Movies

The Lighthouse: the myths and archetypes behind the movie explained

By Rosie Fletcher

Movies

The Lighthouse: Willem Dafoe Reveals the Secret of a Two-Hander Film

By David Crow

More esoteric and ambiguous than The Witch, some might defy categorizing The Lighthouse as a full-throated horror. But the picture’s haunting ghost story setup and heightened use of both claustrophobic interiors and barren exteriors beg to differ, as do the film’s final Lovecraftian overtures toward madness. A masterful exercise in the macabre and hellish, The Lighthouse confirms Eggers as one of the most interesting voices to emerge from his generation. – DC

2. The Witch (2015)

To fully appreciate The Witch, it must be made clear that there’s a literal witch in the woods. Writer-director Robert Eggers emphasizes this early on, allowing the audience to glimpse her scraggly and unholy shape as the crone sacrifices a newborn to Satan. This not only signals the movie is playing for keeps, it also removes any sort of psychological ambiguity about what’s going on.

Read more

Movies

The Witch Has One of Horror’s Greatest Endings

By David Crow

Intensely committed to immersing audiences in the daily lives and nocturnal dreads of 17th century Puritans, The Witch is steeped in a deep-seated anxiety for supernatural entities that could poison your crops, or live in every bump heard in the black of night. With a meticulous eye for historical detail, Eggers creates the best cinematic approximation of Calvinists ever put to screen, and in so doing, allows viewers to both live with superstitions of the Dark One taking the shape of animals, and to judge those obsessed with him.

For The Witch is also an unnerving character study about a family disintegrating before our eyes, and allowing their biases and patriarchal repressions to lead them toward the damnation. With a captivating ensemble of actors, including a star-making turn by Anya Taylor-Joy as Thomasin, the Puritan who is desperate to remain pure, the film basks in its dexterity with early modern English. All of which heightens the tension until a transcendent third act, which can rightly be read as an embrace of despair or liberated ecstasy, depending on who you ask. More than just a great horror movie, The Witch is flatly one of the best American movies produced in this century. – DC

1. Hereditary (2018)

Ari Aster’s directorial debut has become something of a benchmark for horror of a particular kind, whether you want to label it “elevated,” “artsy,” or anything else. Whatever you want to call it, Hereditary is an exceptional debut and a crushingly oppressive work about a cursed family laden with grief. 

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Movies

Hereditary Ending Explained

By David Crow

Movies

Hereditary: The Real Story of King Paimon

By Tony Sokol

A shock scare about 20 minutes in will leave you reeling and everything just gets worse from there, leading to a finale that is so insane and horrific that it almost comes as a relief after the excruciating misery and unease of the rest of the movie.

Toni Collette won multiple awards (though notably she wasn’t Oscar nominated) for her extraordinary performance as Annie, the doomed daughter of the dead matriach whose demise sets in a motion a series of events that are disastrous for her disaffected son (Alex Wolff), stoic husband (Gabriel Byrne), and strange daughter (Milly Shapiro). A story about family, tragedy, and inexorable catastrophe Hereditary is one of the best horror movies of the century so far. – RF

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[bloodroyalsrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, PRINCE!

You have been accepted for the role of BARTEMIUS CROUCH JR. This app did a great job of fleshing Barty out beyond the stoic exterior that he presents to the world. We loved his faux- ascetic, his need for validation, his ambition, and his quiet undermining of the Ministry to further his own agenda. On the whole, we look forward to seeing him in action! Please look at the CHECKLIST for next steps. Welcome to Blood Royals!

♕ I: OUT OF CHARACTER ♕NAME / ALIAS: Prince ♕ II: CHARACTER INFORMATION ♕

FULL NAME: Bartemius “Barty” Crouch Junior

FACECLAIM: Dane DeHaan

DATE OF BIRTH: January 10th, 1955 Barty is a Capricorn, known for being determined, although somewhat single-minded. He sets goals and he pursues them, almost with obsession, until something is achieved. He keeps distant from the outside world, and his true voice is one heard very rarely.

HOGWARTS HOUSE & YEAR: Slytherin 1966 to 1972

GENDER & PRONOUNS: Cis-male, he/him/his

SEXUALITY / SHIPS / ANTI-SHIPS: Barty/chemistry, nothing in particular. Barty himself is asexual and sex neutral, honestly not too interested in physical relationships with others.

OCCUPATION: Barty has a desk job at the Wizengamot Administration Services. He’s not much more than a paper pusher, but when you sort paperwork to one of the highest wizarding courts in the country, it’s quite easy to pass on information about certain inside operations.

ALLIANCE: Death Eater. It was only a few days after his Hogwarts graduation that Barty was brought before the Dark Lord himself. It was a mere weeks before he proved himself worthy enough to be Marked; his heart swelled with righteous pride, the dirty looks of those waiting years to be chosen only fueling his fervor. A viciously driven young boy with a desperate need to be recognized for his talents, he made an exemplary soldier.

POLITICAL VIEWS: Barty believes in blood purity whole-heartedly, but comes across as very distant to the issue. Of course, those in service to the Dark Lord see his true colors. Muggles, Muggleborns, and the like are a stain on this Earth and must be gotten rid of. Half-bloods, more like half-breeds; they might as well be, seeing their parentage. All those thoughts stay just that though. Thoughts. Bartemius Crouch Sr. must be an unbiased man who upholds the laws equally for all, and if his son is to become the next Head of the DMLE, well he must be much the same. A good word for the presses, a gala in support of the less fortunate in the Wizarding community. It make’s Barty’s skin crawl, but doesn’t he look like such a caring young man?

KNOWN FACTS:

Truth: Barty Crouch Jr. hasn’t lost a game of Wizarding Chess in 10 years. He picked up the sport and ran with it. He does actually enjoy playing, and while some do put up a good challenge, it’s not as much fun anymore when he’s the only winner.

Exaggeration: Barty has a truly photographic memory.  Barty is quite book smart,and retains most all of the information he takes in, but in truth he remembers a lot because he writes everything down. He has an extensive collection of old school papers and personal journals that he keeps and occasionally looks back on, which speak to his apparent ‘impeccable’ memory.

Rumor: Barty Crouch Jr is not only going after Head of the DMLE but the prestigious position of Minister itself! Could he even come toe to toe in a race against his own father?

BOGGART: His parent’s rejection This is all a bit too real to him. His father doesn’t pay him any mind, not that he ever has. Over the years he’s found he can tell the difference between his father’s signature and when his secretary forges it on a holiday letter. But in his mother’s eyes, Barty Crouch Jr can do no wrong. Barty is a little angel to his mother, and nothing he does could be bad.

He’s already lost his father. He still holds onto to the few shreds of hope he has left one day his father will recognize him for his worth. But what looms over darker is rejection. He’s careful, so painstakingly careful about hiding his true nature. Bit if his father found out, the Head of the DMLE no less? There would be nothing left between them. No doubt, his mother would save face and follow suit. Nothing is more horrifying than losing his parents. He’s already desperate for what little attention they give him. Being cut off completely is a death sentence.

AMORTENTIA: His mother’s perfume: there’s absolutely no denying, Barty’s always been a mama’s boy. She’s the best he’s got, and will ever get. Old book smell: hours spent in the comfort of an old leather chair, or in a quiet nook of the library, reading a book so worn it’s spine is unreadable. Petrichor: the smell after in rains, wet grass and earth. It’s calming, for what it’s worth, though maybe not the most pleasant of all smells.

PERSONALITY TRAITS: At least four detailed personality traits

intelligent: Barty’s success is a mixture of natural talent and hard work. Curious in nature, Barty took to school like a fish to water. His life has been a mix of private tutors and long nights spent in library nooks, pouring over the pages of scholarly texts. He’s practically a savant at everything he does, and Barty very well knows it.

driven: Always reaching for the next milestone and pushing himself to the top. Perhaps what drives Barty is his own insecurity. His desperate desire for attention, for the recognition his father never gave him. Regardless, Barty pushes to go above and beyond at just about everything he does. He’ll be damned if he isn’t remembered for something extraordinary.

self-centered: At one point, maybe Barty cared more about others. But his world has slowly began to center in on himself. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, and there’s no use in living simply to please others. He has to do something for himself or he’ll run himself into the ground trying to please those who will never be satisfied. The word selfish sounds harsh. He’s only looking out for himself, after all.

unsympathetic: Barty isn’t completely uncaring. He has emotions, of course. But he doesn’t like pity. It feels weak. If you find your way into a mess, you better damn well know how to find your way back out. There’s little time for babying or coddling when the world is at war, when your very being is at stake. Sometimes the weak get left behind, and that is just for the best.

SPECIAL SKILLS: Barty loves a good logic puzzle, or a puzzle box that has yet to be cracked open. He has books upon books of different puzzles he’s scribbled in and poured over throughout the years. There’s also a number of 3D puzzle boxes in his possession, mostly opened. He’s even gone as far to try to make his own, boxes and bags with secret compartments and hidden locks. It’s an enjoyable hobby to him, if nothing else.

BIOGRAPHY:

Ever since his birth, Bartemius Crouch Junior’s mother claimed he would be special. She took one look at her darling son and felt in her heart he would be great. Barty has yet to prove his mother wrong, of course. A private tutor by the age of five, learning spell names and magical theory before he was even given his Hogwarts letter; Barty was everything his mother hoped for and more. Through the years though, those praises began to fall on deaf ears. He loved his mother, he really did, but Barty knew he could cast a simple Lumos and be praised for his talent. As time passed Barty sought the praise he really wanted. That of his father’s.

Bartemius Crouch Senior was by no means cruel. He never hit Barty, never scolded him, or dealt out harsh words for simple misgivings. He wasn’t ever around to do so in the first place. Of course, Barty knew what an important job Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement entailed. The world was in turmoil and nearly as much of the blame was dumped onto his father’s shoulders as it was the Minister’s. Still, there was an ache in his heart when his father would come home late at night and not so much as glance at him. Even holidays his attendance was sparse, there to watch Barty open a few hastily picked presents, then rush back to the office for more meetings and briefings. Barty grew to resent his father for this. So caught up in work, unable to give his son the slightest recognition.

The world felt empty for a while. What good was he, a talent gone to waste? Such brilliance unrecognized. Until that fateful day. Recruited by Rodolphus Lestrange; this man could see what amazing things Barty could do, and could introduce him to someone who would make Barty the envy of everyone–including his father. So easily tempted, Barty followed along and was brought before the Dark Lord himself. Here he found the recognition he so desperately sought.

Someone who could see what lay just beneath the surface, what stunning things Barty could achieve. He threw himself into the cause whole-heartedly, and became a Marked Death Eater in a matter of weeks. Now he leads a double life; the quiet well-learned son of a high ranking Ministry official, and the brutal calculating servant of the Dark Lord. Suddenly life became worth living again. All like a game, with challenges and rewards unlike any other. Barty was sure, he would succeed; he’s never failed before after all.

CONNECTIONS:

Royalle Shacklebolt: She’s a kindness in his life unlike many. She defended Barty was he felt practically left for dead, unable to take his N.E.W.T. exams. Royalle came to his aid, and Barty has never been more grateful for someone in his life. Caring and rather intelligent, Barty hopes no harm ever comes to Royalle. Which is why he has to be careful with her. He wishes he didn’t have to walk on eggshells around her, but what would she say if she ever knew? He fears to think what sort of mayhem she may bring into his life should she find out about his secret life; he doesn’t like to the think about the tragedy that may befall her family should she become too outspoken against the Dark Lord or his followers.

Lazarus Burke: There’s an odd air about Lazarus, something that Barty has never quiet placed. Perhaps it’s the man’s odd interest in cursed and archaic objects, of which seems to be his most defining personality trait. They’re more than acquaintances, but less than best friends; Lazarus can at least hold a conversation Barty finds stimulating. At the very least, Barty thinks well enough of Burke to send forewarning to shop raids or inquiries that could put his family’s business in trouble. There’s no harm in helping a friend, is there?

♕ III: FREESTYLE ♕

Headcanons: ONE; Barty has been teaching himself Occlumency for the past year, and has gotten quite good at it. It’s skill he recognizes as invaluable, because if trained well enough, can stop someone from answering to Veritaserum. TWO; Though he’s a very outwardly stoic person, Barty’s emotions run on a constant high. As a young boy he’d often break down into tears at the slightest wrong doings, or not being correct in something. Over the years he’s learned to tame his emotions, but just barely. Occasionally they come bubbling up to the surface, and coupled with his extremely gifted magic, make him a dangerous firestorm. THREE; Over the years Barty has developed a terrible soft spot for his family’s house elf, Winky. She’s entirely loyal to the family and goes above and beyond what’s asked of her. She’s a bit pushy and overbearing, but he can recognize how much she does care. FOUR; Barty Crouch Junior has autism. It’s not something his family’s ever thought about, nor has he. He’s been quite successful his whole life, due to his stellar memory and natural intelligence. What some would call faults are minor and often go unnoticed. Barty wears sweaters just a bit too large that cover his hands, avoids certain fabrics or noises that pose too much of a distraction to him. He was about twelve before he started to maintain normal eye contact, though he was simply thought to be shy growing up. On occasion Barty’s answers are terse and quick, as the energy spent on conversation feels too draining. FIVE; Barty really loves big dogs, though he’s never had one. His mother is allergic to fur, so there have never been animals in the house aside from owls. He hopes to get one soon, mostly because he’d just enjoy a dog, perhaps partially to spite his parents for not letting him have one despite the logical reasoning behind it.

[exilevilifyrp]

                                          file: introduction

full name: theon wyndham age: 27 identifies with: the consolations of philosophy - max richter genesis: hybrid gender: cis-male (he/him) portrayal: dane dehaan 

                                                                        file: biography

2151 – Birth

Some people are sure to be disbelieving and say,

“But how can a computer possibly produce a great symphony, a great work of art, a great new scientific theory?”

The retort I am usually tempted to make to this question is,

“Can you?”

-          Isaac Asimov, Our Intelligent tools

2156 – Interest in robotics starts.

         It starts with a visit at a museum, a story about the ascension of technology in human history and a robot dinosaur. Lola Wyndham is not quite sure where the posters come from after that, but she suspects her husband. After all, he was known to spoil the little boy. They’re not so bad, she thinks. Better robots than those violent games, highly advertised on the vids. Still, the mother cannot quite remember the last time she saw her son socializing with other children or open one of those innocent little video games Granny gave him. She’s anxious. The only times they exchange words now are when she shows interest in the posters. Then words leave his mouth with excitement. The doctors had said that nothing was wrong with Theon, far from it actually. The young boy could speak and read at the age of three years old. A prodigy, they said.

         “Mother.” His voice is small and shy. Blue eyes, which he inherited, fall to the sweet features of his son’s face, attention now driven away from her work. A paper is placed in her hands and she closes the screen in front of her temporarily, setting her work aside in order to examine the gift she just received. A gasp escapes her lips and he frowns. Bringing her onto her legs, her long finger points at something on the drawing he just gave her. “Theon, dear. What does it mean?” It is with very simple words that her son explains the drawing. “It could help you walk.” A device to help her move around the house, since her legs do not work anymore. The drawing, if she could call it that, is not exactly the typical drawing usual five years old gave to their mothers with pride. It seems more like a blue print for a device, his small writing in the margins, arrows pointing from explanations to detailed pieces of the device. Lola’s heart cannot take it anymore and she kisses the top of his head softly. Five years old and Theon is already too aware of the world around him.

         A mother always worry. It is a curse and a blessing at the same time. Years pass and she keeps her eyes on her son. He is soft, and does not quite get why the other children cannot comprehend mechanics as well as he does. He is not unkind, though. He does not shout, or cry. He keeps to himself mostly, even from his own parents. Theon is well above his years. She thinks (she hopes) that he will let go of his obsession. Metal litters the floor of the room usually intended to be his bedroom. Now sleep evades him, a fickle companion. At least Arthur is not too mad when he trips over small inventions all over the house. Lola knows her husband would have preferred if his son would have taken interest in the arts or philosophy, like his father. They fear for him.

         Geniuses do not go unnoticed in Wrotham, especially from corporations.

2159 – First convention.  

         He is eight years old when he attends his first convention.

         The funny thing, he observes, is that the other attendees believe him to be another mindless child. They overlook him. It insults him a bit. He read already all of their research and he could find faults in almost all of them. It is worse when he is called on the stage, with the goal of presenting his new patent. Laughs erupt from the crowd when he realizes he is barely able to reach the microphone. His fingers drum against the desk in front of him. He tries to find Arthur and Lola in the crowd. Lola’s soft features always calmed his mind. But instead, his gaze falls on two weird characters, sitting in the back. Their clothes are different, more refined than the others. Wealth is exuded from their attitude, and Theon is fascinated. They are not laughing, he observes. He is glad.

         The crowd silences itself when he explains how using a different kind material for the IBA cell could improve efficiency by 15.8765%, thus permitting better hologram imaging and communication during certain situation, especially military ones. He rebuffs arguments with facts and calculations.

         Theon learns that adults are petty then. Words are thrown but his age is the only true obstacle to the veracity of his research. Arthur and Lola find him afterwards, Theon can see the worry on their face. How he hates it. They are not big fans of his experiments, even though they always show a positive front when he tried to explain them. He thinks, with regret, that perhaps they’re the same as the other adults. He loves them anyway. Will always do, of course. The young family is about to leave, Arthur navigating Lola through the crowd, in the hover chair Theon made her months ago. A featherlike touch on his shoulder makes him stop in his track and he turns. The two individuals he saw earlier are standing there, in front of him. Perfect skin, impeccable clothes. Arthur and Lola seem nervous at the sight of them. “Hello Mr. Wyndham, my name is Rachael. Here is my partner Rick. We work for Artificial Insights. We would like to discuss scholarships…”

         Theon later learns that Rachael and Rick are Synthetics. Humans with artificial and robotic limbs. In the car, where they explain him that they’re sending him to one of top robotic schools, Theon remarks how Rick is barely looking at him. It annoys him.    

2169 – Artificial Insights & Phase I: Synthetics process

         “We are delighted to offer you a position here at Artificial Insights, Mr. Wyndham. We hope our partnership will be long and fruitful.” Theon forces a small smile to appear on his face, the conventional response to this type of interaction. He would admit that working with machines most of the time did a lot for his social anxiety. Calculations and research do not argue or judge him. Androids did not have the mind to look at him, see only the bags under his eyes, his frail exterior. Androids did not care. Rachael smiles a little, quasi encouragingly. She knows him enough by now to know how uncomfortable he is. The show is for the people sitting on each of her sides. It is the first time Theon meets Rachael’s superiors. Serious men and women, barely looking up at the file in front of them. They tell him they are impressed by his curriculum. Top graduate from all his schools. He is a good return on investment. The sentence irritates Theon.  His fingers drum on the table, nervously. They think of him as a thing, expendable. Theon is now eighteen years old, and will probably become the youngest employee of the company. Numerous research of his are being published and applied already. It resonates in his head; an unwanted conundrum.

         “In this mindset,” Rachael’s voice shatters the train of thought, forces him to raise his eyes to look at them, “you will find all the details regarding the process for Synthetic transformation. You have to understand that we invested highly in you, and we would like our partnership to last.” Again, with the financial idioms. The woman in front of him continues to talk about the specifics but Theon’s blue hues are already reading the material in front of him. Excitement runs through his veins. He remembers the offer he made them, some years ago. Even with the scholarship that brought him where he was, a mind like his would be highly useful to any other corporations. His mind is the only thing that is not replaceable. He needs to protect it.

         Synthetic transformation in exchange of an 80 years work contract. His signature is barely readable on the documents, hand shaking with apprehension.  

2173.0 – Death of Parents in Riots

         Arthur and Lola Wyndham are only two more names among others in the already long list of victims from the 2173 riots in Krenel. The irony of their death does not go unnoticed. They are becoming more and more numerous, the protests against the rise of technology, against robots and androids.

         His hands won’t stop shaking as he listens to the man in front of him. The feeling resemble flying – no, more like falling. Theon inherits the house and becomes familiar with a new emotion, guilt. It envelops him and settles in his heart, heavy. Will it become his new home, he ponders.

         Grief. It is ugly.

         He should’ve called more. Should have listened to his mother pleas ‘come back home for once’. Should’ve done something. Anything. He hadn’t been a very good son. School had started and then work, both intertwined with an endless series of conventions. He was a rising star in robotics engineering, most efficient and useful engineer for Artificial Insights. But all of this, the title and the money, did not keep his parents from dying. Theon inherits the house and transforms it into a lab. With Rachael’s consent, he takes a few days off. Then his mind goes back to what it does best: work. At this point, Theon knows it is a defense mechanism. Some would drink their feelings away. He prefers being useful. Whenever he feels anxious or sad, he plunges nose first into endless calculations, experiments and research. He shuts more people off, mostly because they are distracting.

2173.5 – Theon meets Eliot

         Theon grows bored of the conventions after that. Arthur and Lola are not there anymore, anxiously waiting for their son to speak. Offering him small smiles in the crowd to encourage him. They are gone and he feels lost. Days look all the same to him. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. His heart is not in the research, these days. Sleep evades him once more, and his patience thins with each seconds that pass. Only the sound of the assembling machines calms his mind. Sometimes, he goes down, in the lowest levels of his building. He likes to watch them waking up, the androids. They’re not really alive, he knows that. But Theon appreciates the symbolism – starting new, a mind virgin of emotions and feelings. On the opposite side, he feels just like them. A simple cog in a bigger machine. He’s an investment, after all. Just like them.

         Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

         “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt your presentation.” Theon lifts his eyes from his scientific journal, wonders who dared approach him in public. His colleagues usually stir away from him. After all, he is far from being an expert at conversations. The engineer recognizes the features of the man before him. The presentation had gone to hell, voice faltering when a participant decided to interfere. The problem wasn’t the interruption, actually. It was the fact that Theon never saw it. His mistake. He’s caught off guard by it and his mind obsesses over it as soon as the stage leaves his sight. Miscalculation, or simple Brows knit, he tilts his head. “Then why did you do it?” The question burns his tongue as the words leave his mouth. A chuckle escapes the other man’s lips and the sound shakes Theon to his core. He straightens up in his seat as the other man takes place on the empty chair in front of him. “Alright, alright. You got me. Would you look over the data, though? I really want your opinion on this.”

         He grabs the tablet from the other’s hand, their fingers brushing.

         Theon feels alive again. Even more so as Eliot’s lips, months later, become a recurrent light, fleeting touch.

2175 – 2175 Massacre

         Wind blows slowly through the opened windows. The silence is heavy in the darkness. The city stops moving for a millisecond. It holds its breath as the fire eats the void above their heads. Music can be heard in the background, faintly. A whisper murmured to the crowd. Its name is Destruction. It’s a glitch, he thinks. The sirens are crying in the night. This is just a simple, easily reparable mistake in calculations.

         He’ll wake up the next morning, and Eliot will be there. In his arms. Already awake, fully functional. He will kiss Theon, softly, tenderly. Run a hand in his hair. A whisper ‘wake up my love’ will flee in the air, will lose itself in the seemingly stopped time. Coffee will burn his tongue and Duke Ellington will play in the background. A normal morning. Theon will listen to the drunken stories of one of his colleague at work, might even try a small smile to show his appreciation for the tale. Eliot will go back to his research and come back after a hard day at work, head full of ideas and optimism.

         It’s only a glitch, Theon thinks. An irregularity in the system. He can repair it. He’s good at this. His eyes fixes the vids as red and bloodied crescents mark the fair skin of his forearm. Eliot is not there the next morning. Only Death kisses him back, brings him news of destruction and despair. For the second time in his life, he wonders ‘why not me?’

         Eliot dies in the riots, his mind forever lost.

2176 to 2177 – Data’s creation & Depression

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

-          The Three Laws, from the Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D.

“According to the data–”

“Oh, please Eli. Stop with your data already. Everything is going to be fine. I did the calculations myself.”

“One, you’re not infallible and second, the dat–”

“You’re not him!”

         Data does not flinch at Theon’s raised voice, because Data is not human. An android, a perfect and flawless android. Top of his category, because he doesn’t fit in the usual categories. He’s made from scratch, from stolen equipment from his old job. All of Eliot’s research is incorporated in the main matrix. Data can learn. And speak. And asks questions.

         Theon knows he can get arrested. Company property theft, uncatalogued Artificial Intelligence. Non-tested research. Utilisation of rare materials for personal purposes. The list gets longer each times he thinks about it.

         The android looks like him, talks like him, smile like him. But he is not him. Data barely moves when his creator strikes him. Control is not something he has much, these days. The alcohol burns his tongue coming in and coming out. How inefficient. Theon hates himself with such fervor then. Especially as Data holds him there, on the floor, ignoring his creator trying to wrestle his way out of the robotic grip. Theon wakes as Data presses a damp cloth on his forehead. The engineer had never been so embarrassed of his own actions than now.

         Where is the line between genius and madness? When does one falls so deep into a pit of despair, he cannot see the way out anymore?

         Theon is crying as he erases this memory from Data’s core the next day. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

                                                                      file: known associates

NOOMI WEXLER - though wexler corporation was a mere enigma to most, you had uncovered the truth many moons prior. perhaps maintaining it as the unknown would make a far wiser idea, but curiosity would soon unravel a mass of torturous activities and an unwanted truth - actions so cruelly human. it’s a secret you have long since kept, but you wonder how long one can remain silent when another experiment has now appeared.

                                                                  THIS CHARACTER IS UNAVAILABLE.

[k-aia-blog]

this here is KAIA CHI child one of two that i’m ( brinn, twenty-three, est ayeee get @ me ) bringing to the dash. i’m writing this up at work and kinda developing her as i do it so this will probably be short and sweet for now or rambling af there’s no in-between. i don’t want to fully get too much into her relationship bits so i don’t box anyone who might come in as her partner when it comes to their own ideas about things but i’m going to try and highlight the ideas i have about it the best i can! 

UPDATE: i truly did ramble af i’m so ashamed of the mess under the cut don’t look @ me.

was that COURTNEY EATON i saw at the polihua resort? no, it was just TWENTY-ONE year old KAIA CHI. SHE is ENGAGED to DANE DEHAAN / UTP and has been for THREE years. i heard she’s BISEXUAL and is pretty into DADDY KINK, VOYEURISM, & BREATH PLAY

✘ with her parents splitting before she was born, kaia grew up shuffling between both houses. during the school year she lived with her dad in colorado and during the summer she had to jet off to hawaii to spend the few short months with her mom. an upbringing with guaranteed trips to the aloha state probably sounds like a dream come true but it was anything BUT that for kaia. she didn’t get along with her father very well and definitely didn’t get along with her eventual stepmother nor her children kaia was raised around and when you weren’t going to be available to hang out for the entirety of the summer, it wasn’t easy to maintain TRUE friendships that went deeper than just the surface when they all used the summer to chill and strengthen their friendships with each other. likewise, only being around in the summer made it hard to keep up with friends out there as well as they had the entire school year to grow and bond as a group without her. quite often, kaia felt incredibly lost somewhere in the mix. 

✘ a print model, kaia booked her first few things between six to eight months before not returning to in front of the camera until she was twelve years old and was ‘re-discovered’ over summer break in hawaii, signing at first with a smaller local agency until three years later at fifteen, she was scouted into PREMIER, hawaii’s top agency. back home in colorado, kaia was under the umbrella of WIHELMINA via their offices there.

✘ she’s been booked out into ‘extra’ roles for film, television and music videos and has starred in a low number of both indie and main-stream music videos on rare occasion. she doesn’t have much interest in the runway aspect of modeling but she’s booked a few very obscure shows through-out her career. 

✘ kaia absolutely loves being a model and now at twenty-one has migrated out from under her parents and has lived in new york since the age of seventeen after testing out of high school, tired of having to go through the motions and exhausted from trying to maintain her grades as well as attempting to never have to turn down a job because of school no matter how many times she had to do homework on set, projects on planes or how many eyedrops she had to drop into her red, exhausted, and straining eyes on the way from the airport to school after any number of red-eye flights. with the help of her entertainment lawyer, kaia was able to link up with an attorney who represented her in her court case for emancipation from her family. it wasn’t any sort of toxic situation that brought it on but more-so the fact that at seventeen she NEEDED to be legally emancipated in order to live on her own. 

✘ for the first eight months in new york, kaia crashed at a fellow model she had befriended over the years on sets after the two of them were often booked for the same spreads and shoots until getting her own place. it wasn’t the best, far from it actually, but for the time being it was more than enough because it was hers and hers alone. 

✘ reverting back to her formative years for a minute here ya’ll whoops but having seen her mother go through her fair share of failed relationships and never having seen her parents together ( and her father’s relationship with her cankerous stepmother was far from anything to be envious of ), kaia never had best role models when it came to love and has found herself in a few hairy situations herself due to being too trusting at times and falling far too easily - normally for unsavory types who seem fun in the moment. kaia is bisexual after being exposed to new experiences after moving to new york and falling in deeper with the model crowd and scene than she had been able to while living between her parent’s houses.  

✘ jumping to my ideas of her fiancé, god i’m such a mess bare with me and this mess. DANE DEHAAN was the main idea i had in mind when picturing him, i don’t 100% know why maybe it’s my obsession with him, maybe it’s the fact i’ve watched five of his movies within the last two days?? who knows, who knows, i don’t. i also listed it as UTP but DANE is definitely my main hope. i really want someone older than her ( for example, dane is thirty-one i believe so playing age would be late twenties to early thirties in my best guess ) because i get this vibe maybe he’s a photographer and kaia met him while on a shoot soon after moving to new york. i don’t want to cross any boundaries that could potentially make anyone who takes him up uncomfortable so if it works better for them we can say nothing major happens between them until she’s of age but i could see him quote unquote taking advantage of her youthful trust, her lack of inner-compass when it came to the huge city she suddenly found herself immersed in and the fact she would more than likely easily succumb to his advances ( hell, she would probably have made a few of her own because she’s got an older male / hella daddy af kink ) if any were made even before her eighteenth birthday but again, i’m quite alright with making it eighteen if that’s what the other mun will want! quick hook-ups on set, sneaking around ( i kind of also have an idea maybe he was married when they met which means an affair came to life and eventually his marriage ended it being his doing to be with her or his wife’s doing if she found out?? again, these are all just ideas i have that i’m more than willing to change or expand on with whoever fills the role! ) and all that fun stuff. they’ve been ENGAGED for THREE years, making her nineteen when he popped the question. i’m not sure what’s the hold up with a long engagement but that can def be worked out! maybe he’s not ready to be completely tied down again, maybe she’s not ready for that final walk of commitment or maybe, dun dun dUN his divorce isn’t finalized yet *billions of shocked face emojis* it’ll be figured out in due time and all of this mumbo jumbo will be better English’ed on her full bio page as soon as it is lmao

✘ it’s my belief that kaia and her fiancé are here at the resort because both of them struggle with monogamy ( ya’ll i just wrote and almost left that as mahogany goodbye and goodnight adios can you imagine if i didn’t catch it jfc rip me forever ) and it presents the opportunity to explore other options openly and honestly. maybe they are considering a polygamy lifestyle for their future together or maybe it’s kind of like him wanting to make sure his young fiancée is sure in her choice of him because he’s not about to marry her and a few years down the road have her wanting to know what else could have been out there for her? again, totally can be discussed and figured out!

✘ for the most part, she’s approachable and genuinely a kindhearted person but she has been known to exhibit signs of a temper fairly quickly when things don’t go in certain ways.

✘ definitely the partying type, kaia was thrown headfirst into the wild nightlife world of new york models but was eventually thriving with the best of the best. 

✘ easily jealous with a flair for the dramatics which probably won’t do her very well at a place like the resort but she’s vowed to herself that this was what she wanted to do with her partner and she can’t be jealous of something she brought on herself, right?

✘ okay no, i’m rambling and my break was actually up seven minutes okay so i gotta look busy rip but but more in-depth stuff and WAY better explained stuff will eventually go up on her page and i’ll also eventually be making a stats post for her that will include her likes, dislikes and all that good naughty shit. in the mean time, if anyone wants to plot with kaia, please message me and we can get some ideas rolling!

[onlyfools-fall-foryou]

So I wrote for the school magazine but this was never published because we ran out of time. Long story. Just gonna post this here.

Lina’s Completely Self-Indulgent To-do List for You and Me

Most of these listed items are pretty mature. By that, I mean high school and older.

Upcoming Movies: Dunkirk Why don’t we just watch all of Christopher Nolan’s movies while we’re at it? Dunkirk is, yes, another WWII movie on the side of the Allies, but it’s a Nolan film, so I’m not complaining. Nobody’s complaining. Like Nolan films, it’s incredibly star-studded, with his usual Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy etc. Nolan really hasn’t given away anything by his short and simple trailers, other than what people already know about the Battle of Dunkirk. (Spoilers, they get rescued.) Release Date: July 21, USA

Spider-man: Homecoming Can I just say, I am loving new spidey. That guy is ador(k)able. Marvel is finally giving us the sassy teenage Peter that we didn’t know we needed. Release Date: July 5, Finland

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Luc Besson, director of /Leon, Nikita, and The Fifth Element/ decided to turn the futuristic sci-fi time-traveling comic series, /Valerian and Laureline,/ into a movie starring Dane DeHaan and the beautiful, beautiful Cara Delevingne. (I was slightly obsessed with Cara Delevingne in 2016.) Let’s just hope that Cara is better at acting here than she was in /Paper Towns/. Release Date: July 21, USA

Detroit From the only female director who has won the Academy Award for Best Director, Kathryn Bigelow, director of /The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty,/ comes another possibly scarring, possibly life-changing movie based on modern historical events. (By modern, I mean 50 years ago.) This time, it’s about the Algiers Motel Incident, taken place during the 1967 12th Street Riot that left three black males dead and two white females and seven black males brutally beaten by the police. Remember when I said this would be scarring? It stars John Boyega and many other beauties. Release Date: August 4, USA

The Dark Tower This is the beginning of a possible movie franchise adapted from Stephen King’s novel series of the same name. Starring Idris Elba as our formidable hero and Matthew McConaughey as our mysterious villain. If you’ve read any Stephen King or seen any adaptations, notably I’ve seen /The Mist,/ you know they’re chilling and terrifying and scarring. Watch with caution. Release Date: August 4, USA

Movies If you’re a nerd who likes to spend most of their life in a screen like me, just invest in a Netflix account (unfortunately, I get nothing out of this promo). And, all the Netflix original shows are top notch because Netflix goes all out on their shows. (Edit: DON’T TRUST NETFLIX. THEY MIGHT CANCEL YOUR FAVOURITE SHOW.)

Patriots Day (2016) It’s about the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombings. Apparently watching it the first time around is the best, according to my brother who watched it twice. For the first 20 minutes or so, you’re so tense because it’s just people getting ready for the marathon and you know what’s about to happen. That was interesting, because the movie did try to tense us up, but it didn’t try that hard. It was mostly our knowledge of the bombings that did most of the work. Most of the characters are real people, except for the main character played by Mark Wahlberg, who is fictional. It leaves you sweating from your pores (and tear ducts) at the end of the movie so drink some water before starting.

Moulin Rouge! (2001) If you’re into music, beautiful people dancing and singing, renditions of pop songs like “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Like a Virgin,” you should watch this sort of rom-com/rom-tragedy starring Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman. Go read my other article on page * for some extra info.

Inglourious Basterds (2009) Glorious cinematography. Glorious deaths. Glorious acting. The opening scene is pure gold. It’s one of those scenes you get completely lost in. It also gets you sweating from your pores. Everything from the cinematography and the acting and the set and music and everything is just so well done. Everyone who has seen this scene knows what I’m talking about. And of course, Mélanie Laurent is (one of) the main character(s) so that’s a lot of, em, eye cleansing.

Twilight (2008) Just kidding.

TV The Get Down Go read my other article on page *. Tl;dr: About the origin of hip hop in 1977 Bronx told around beautiful brown young adults with voices of angels.

Lost You have probably head of /Lost/, whether it’s something good or bad. Lost is infamous for its bad ending, which, I don’t think is that bad, but who cares about an ending when everything else is good? The premise is, a bunch of people were on a plane going from Sydney to LA but it crashes on an island. For the first couple episodes, you might think it’s just another survival show, but boy you are wrong. The episodes vary from present to flashback, the centric-character changing every episode. Try not to cringe too hard as Daniel Dae Kim completely ruins the Korean language. Lost is one of the shows I only watch when I have a lot of time because it and its soundtrack completely emotionally ruins me.

Books Sorry, this list may be shorter than the others because I shamefully admit, I don’t read as much as I watch. (Stop judging me, I know my brain cells are dying.)

Harry Potter Need I say more? If you haven’t read Harry Potter, where have you been and where is your integrity?

13 Reasons Why I read this book in the summer of 2015 and it was one of those books I couldn’t put down, not because it was so fun to read, but because my stomach was shaking with uncomfortable angst and I had to get it over with in order for my life to move on. It’s about a teenage boy who gets a mysterious tape one day. On the tape is a recording that a sort-of-friend/ex-crush, Hannah, made before she killed herself. The thirteen reasons are, yes, why she killed herself and are directed at 12 people in total (it goes to a person twice). It deals with some pretty mature content like sex, sexual assault, and obviously suicide. I think I was a little young to understand the book to its full potential, because the book is heavily about the relationship of Hannah and everyone around her and I didn’t realize relationships were so hard at the time.

Percy Jackson Yes, I can hear you snickering about how big of a nerd I am. I admit, I was obsessed with Percy Jackson, still low-key am, but to be fair, so was my mom! Whenever we would get a new book, my mom, brother, and I would pass it around none too patiently. Percy Jackson is definitely more for younger kids, i.e. middle school, because the level of darkness and death sort of stays the same throughout, unlike Harry Potter that matures along with us, becoming darker and darker. If you don’t know who Percy Jackson is, he’s the son of a mortal and Poseidon. He then struggles to save the world every book. The series really educates you in a fun way on Greek (and later, Roman, Egyptian, Norse, and who knows what next) mythology and it’s fun to see how the writer portrayed his Godly characters. It’s just a really, really fun read. Another perk is Rick Riordan seems to keep writing books, so the series doesn’t seem to ever end.

Music

Hamilton If you’re into American history, people of color, hip-hop, bromance, and death, listen to this amazing cast album of Hamilton: An American Musical (or watch the bootleg). Basically the story of Alexander Hamilton’s life, through childhood in the Caribbeans, coming to New York where dreams are made of, the American Revolution, trying to set up a government and finally his death. Will you become a non-functioning human for a couple days while you finish it? Yes. Will you start violently sobbing when you hear the name John Laurens? Yes. Will you start breaking into song and rap when you know you can’t sing or rap? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes.

Harry Styles Following the classic tradition of naming your debut album after yourself, Harry Styles comes back to the music industry with this album that is completely different from One Direction (before they started writing their own songs, so this album more like MITAM). After a year (and a half) of being in the new Nolan movie (life goals right there mm mm.) and chilling in the Caribbeans, he randomly dropped news of his single “Sign of the Times” and the rest of his album in April. The album is like a time capsule from the 2007s with a mix of the 1970-80s, giving off rock god and sappy indie breakup band vibes at the same time. I’m actually listening to it as I’m writing this right now, and gosh it is good. It’s Harry doing everything he couldn’t do in a band, every song has him straining his vocal cords and (*wipes away proud tear*) you can just imagine him jumping around stage and having the time of his life.

Other

Duolingo.com (Like I said, I get 0 money out of this.) Duolingo is a website for, you may have guessed it from “duo” and “lingo,” learning languages. It’s completely free, these people don’t even require you to “upgrade your account” to do all the languages. There are most of the European languages, some Asian languages like Vietnamese (Japanese and Korean etc are in progress), Swahili, and Klingon (in progress). You can choose how seriously you want to learn and set your daily XP goal. It sends you an email and application notification so you don’t forget (but of course you can turn it off) and there’s an app too. If you do it intensively (really intensively, like a couple hundred XPs a day), I think finishing a language course during the summer is possible. It’s such a good and wholeful website/app. I’m currently learning Norwegian so if anyone wants to join, halla at me!

Learn How to Box Finally, a non-nerd item on this list! More broadly, get in the habit of working out. Whatever we’re going to do in the future, we need the stamina for it, even if you’re just going to sit at a desk all day. I’m only putting boxing up there as an example because it’s fun and it makes you feel powerful. Not that I’m an expert or anything, I did like four months and quit (lol) but I still work out in various ways. Grab a friend and convince them to go with you. Working up a sweat, even for a short time, generally makes you happy. I don’t know how much this applies to other people, but personally, I spend my workout minutes giggling most of the time. When I’m doing something really challenging, I start manically laughing. This is also an excuse for you to get your mom to let you out of the horrible cycle of hagwons and tutors!

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Bret you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Peter Pettigrew!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

We were so happy to see your application in our inbox! Your application shone with your amazing writing and the thought that you’ve put into Peter. It’s been a joy to see him before -- and it’s going to be amazing seeing how you develop him further Your para sample was a joy to read -- especially how you delved into Peter’s mindset and how he views the world so differently from the rest of the Marauders -- and even starting with your reason for choosing him as a second character, it was clear that you had a handle on how tragic his story can be and how isolated Peter feels. 

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Bret, Twenty Five, EST. She/Her.

ACTIVITY

7/10. I plan on dividing my threads between days, so a few on each character depending on what amount of muse I have. I think I could do a lot between the two characters because of all of the time I’ve accumulated this summer. And even if my girlfriend has my computer for work, I’ve rebooted hers so I’ll just use this ole piece of dust.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

Originally it was through a member, but I’ve been here for ages!

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Arabella Figg. Before this roleplay I was obsessed with her homely nature, and how willing she was to protect Harry. Plus, her love for kneazles definitely is equal to mine with kittens. But now that I play her, and I’ve fleshed her out, I’m realizing how much she truly is like me. Of course that comes with playing her, but it doesn’t matter. I identify with her so, so much.  

ANYTHING ELSE?

Nope!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Peter Pettigrew

FACE CLAIM

Dane DeHaan

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

Peter Pettigrew is an insanely under appreciated character that deserves to be explored.

Aside from his involvement with the Marauders, his defection from the Order during the first war, and his involvement in the second, we don’t know much about him. Introverted, clumsy, and not very clever - those are the few traits the books give him. But what draws me to his character is that there is much more to him beneath the surface that has yet to be touched. I don’t believe that Peter is as cowardly as people make him to be, but I also don’t believe he is incredibly intelligent. I think he’s a hoarder, he’s exhausted, and he’s not very friendly to strangers.

Hogwarts, in my opinion, was a difficult time for him and after graduation he was lost and grasping to find a niche he belonged to. That isolation is a small fragment of the reason that he joined the Death Eaters, though reluctantly. They didn’t accept him but they made him feel important. Enough so that he was willing to pretend his friends no longer mattered, though the three were always nagging at the corners of his brain. Peter is a character who needs people to guide him, comfort him, and make him feel special.

He’s a young boy in the midst of a war, barely out of school, and confused about his life path. The decisions he makes are rash and thoughtless, all because he’s just a teenager, and they all come to bite him later in life. I want to explore his descent into the Death Eaters and becoming a spy, his relationships, and his entire life now that the war is at a climax.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Peter/Chemistry. He/Him.

Peter is a closeted bisexual. He believes that homosexuality is immoral because that was what his father pressed whenever he asked about other boys. When he was younger he was envious of their looks and their nature, and sometimes he found envy turning to lust. But always he would remind himself that to be attracted to boys would make his father furious and suddenly Peter would throw himself at girls. And their rejection made him isolated and scared, and the cycle would begin again. Now that his father is dead and his mother hasn’t spoken to him, Peter is more liable to give in to temptation. But as of now the war matters more than sex or love, both of which he has never tasted.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

Headcanons.

001. Honeydukes is the only place that Peter truly misses from his Hogsmeade trips. Lemon drops, peppermint sticks, chocolate frogs, and Bertie Botts. He remembers the trips through snow and falling leaves and warm cobblestone. His memory is flooded with laughter and giving and the gentle touch of a friend. Honeydukes was never just a shop of sweets and childhood happiness, it was the one place that had never been tainted by a bad Professor or embarrassing moment. He clings to it dearly even after others have forgotten.

002. After his father died, his mother stopped responding to his letters. It had come as a surprise for Peter to find his owls returned empty handed because he considered himself to have been rather close with his mom. Now he continues to write her in the hopes that she will come back to him, but in the meantime it has inspired him to find work and make a living. He wants to impress her should she find her way back into his life.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“Invisibility. I want to be a fly on the wall sometimes. Rats aren’t small enough to hide forever and my friends already know what I look like, y'know? I only want a potion that wears off after a few hours, but nothing disgusting. I bloody want one that tastes like peppermint, or coffee, or something sweet. And it would be smooth and work without pain. Just invisibility without any strings. I wouldn’t name it! Otherwise people would find out and they’d steal it from me. I’d never want that.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“I have to pick one person? Remus has always been the nicest towards me…as an individual. But I would like everyone there. Sirius and James, too, though they’d make jokes about me being a bloody coward. And I am, alright? I don’t want to go ink the Forbidden Forest at night. I never have. As for what I’d bring…whatever James needed me to. I could only imagine we’re going in there for one of his schemes, or Sirius’ pranks. I’d just have whatever they need.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“What to do, when to do it. I used to believe I was independent but I’ve never been, not really. I’ve always needed someone to guide me. I just bloody wish I was normal, like my mates. I can barely take care of myself and they’re having full lives.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“That I’m dumb. People always assume that because my marks were bad, that I’m stupid. Well, I am. But they’re not allowed to say it, right? I need to hold some dignity. Only my mates can say it because they’re just taking the piss. It’s normal. Other people saying it will make me…Merlin, I’m not bloody violent. Not really. I won’t do anything…I just don’t want them to say it.”

WRITING SAMPLE

The world was black, and white, and smelled of mud.

Peter felt the lasting tug of freedom as he scuttled down the corridor and felt the coolness of stone beneath his paw pads. The soft clack of long nails were the only sound invading the heavy silence of the air, but he was sure no human would think twice about it. Another old house settling into its foundation, creating creepy noises in its wake. He was just another sound to the people in that room, he was just another creature lost among the hundreds of things surviving in the towering building.

A sharp left and he found himself face to face with a slightly ajar door, the wood warped from years of deprivation and unable to close entirely. He could see the splinters that would catch in his amber fur and embed in the flesh of his back, but this was for the greater good and he would manage through the pain. It was nothing in comparison to what his mates had done previously on their own missions, or what he would be asked to do in the future.

Who would he be spying on next?

The thought stopped him, and Peter felt his heart thundering in his chest. The Order trusted him but they didn’t give him the incentive that he wanted. It wasn’t enough to fight for equality and justice, it wasn’t enough to get a pat on the back when he didn’t completely fuck something up. He wanted real pride, and danger, and the sweet taste of adrenaline. But the thought of his friends had him questioning what had gone wrong in his childhood to make him okay with betrayal. Would he ever truly be happy? What if it came down to murder, or a duel, or looking at James and telling him you were never meant to be good?

He forced himself to move and slid under the door, refraining from eliciting a noise as the splinters tore into his back. Later he would ask Remus to pluck them out and he would smile and pretend that the mission went beautifully. Later he would tell them that he hadn’t thought twice about eavesdropping on the Death Eaters.

Later he would lie and give them false information.

His human form was uncomfortable and awkward as he emerged from his rat body. The group would be in the next room, but he had chosen to come as an Animagus to avoid being seen until that moment. A silver mask was affixed to his face but it made breathing impossibly difficult and he ached to take it off. This wasn’t him, his head screamed. This was not Peter Pettigrew of the Order who followed his mates around every day.

This boy was nothing like that child, and he doubted he’d ever be allowed to go back.

[back-alley-magic]

The Renegade

Powers: Not much is known about him. He's mostly regarded as irresponsible, selfish, and unprincipled, a young hedge witch with wasted talent. If the rumors are true, he has a pair of Seven League Boots, a silver chain inscribed with gold and ash, and a knife carved of ivory. Those who know him say he is rather talented with blood magic, but practices a variety of highly symbolic magics (with varying degrees of success). These symbolic magics require substitution of items with those that are logically or emotionally connected to another object, such as lighting a log on fire by holding a piece of coal. This takes a strong physical toll the larger the logical leap.

He was the one to introduce the New Initiate to the world of magic, though he is afraid of getting them involved now that he is being hunted for The Stone.

Faction: Hedge Witches

FC: Dane Dehaan

Name: Lysander Crane (true name unknown)

Any other titles, nicknames, or epithets: The Thaumaturge, though no one actually calls him that. More often he's called Prick, ***hole, or some other choice four letter words. And now, he's The Keeper of the Stone, or simply the Keeper.

Age: 24

Personality:

+creative

+moral...ish, at least in principle. In practice he is more than willing to bend and break rules for what he views as the right cause. And yes, his own benefit does count as a "right cause."

+thinks better on his feet. If he's given too much time to plan he begins to second-guess and overthink

+intelligent, though he tends not to apply himself

+surprisingly disciplined about learning new things when he really cares about them.

+surprisingly accepting of others' flaws

+logical, though this logic is internal and can seem erratic to others

+/-dramatic

+/-headstrong

+/-dark sense of humor

+/-blunt when he shouldn't be and cryptic when it's very inconvenient 

+/-obsessive over small tidbits of information and completely oblivious to other (usually more important) facts

+/sarcastic

+/-self-indulgent

+/independent

+/-thrill seeker

+/-provocative

-pretentious

-disloyal

-cynical

-addictive personality

-aimless

-easily bored, and often turns to dangerous distractions

-selfish

-flippant

-chaotic

-self-destructive

-can be childishly spiteful, the "I'll hold my breath until I pass out, that'll show you" kind of vindictiveness

-irresponsible

Powers, weapons, and skills:

highly symbolic magic. His catch-all conduit is blood, for the sheer power it provides. But he tends to mix this raw energy with more targeted magic. His workings are usually very complex (some would say purely convoluted) and highly dramatic. Mostly it seems he wants to impress himself with crackpot, improbable, but often strangely beautiful magic when a simpler but humbler thing would do the trick. 

Since magic draws on connections and symbols it helps to have a powerful internal logic. He's good at quick-thinking and rushed spells, whereas most witches fall back on prior planning to ensure success. This makes his magic seem very fluid and organic, but also unpredictable. 

His magic deals mostly with change, usually in objects, and perception. He calls it his magical word games. In reality it's connecting a current reality with a desired outcome by making a series of logical leaps, folding and shifting reality until it meets that outcome, like magical origami. This magic is extremely energy-consuming so in his day-to-day magical life he usually uses a few pre-made magical objects. 

These pre-made magical items include a very worn pair of leather boots which, thanks to the sigils on their soles, allows him to move at incredible speeds. These seven league boots don't come without their dangers though. Operating them isn't as easy as simply walking. Without a careful input of energy proportional to the speed and distance you'd like to travel, you could end up literally walking your soul faster than your body. 

Lysander also has a knife carved from mammoth ivory which he uses for his blood magic. He found it deep in one of the underground tunnels, buried in a forgotten barrow. He may not know it yet, but it was buried for a reason, and the more he uses it, the more strange coincidences start happening around it. It does help focus his magic though, so he'll keep using it despite the random occurrences that spark around it. 

He also has a silver chain inscribed with gold and ash. As yet, he hasn't figured out what it does. But that won't stop him from wearing it. In the very least, the silver gives him some modicum of protection against fae.

Weaknesses:

Not very good at explaining himself. He prides himself on that fact, but it can be a big weakness when trying to work with others

extremely self-destructive, addictive, thrill-seeking behavior.

Hell-bent on doing things his way or not at all

Puts more raw energy into magic than is necessary. He's generally regarded (among those who know him in the magical community) as a waste of talent. Everyone assumes he'll burn himself out before he does anything worthwhile, and it seems he's determined to show just how quickly he can prove them right.

Gets bogged down with his own logic and the theoretical side of his actions when given time to plan. When he's working on the fly things come easier to him because he doesn't have time to overthink

Generally comes off as a rude, pretentious little s*** who cares only about himself and is hell to work with

Likes:

puzzles and logic problems

the sound of bells and tinkling jewelry (he wears a lot of bracelets and charms, only some of which are magical)

beautiful solutions (though not necessarily simple ones)

neon lights

deep pounding music

maybe experiments with hallucinogenic compounds more than he should

new experiences

staying one step ahead

confusing others

letting others know he knows they're confused

other curious individuals

taking notes on random scraps of paper

experimenting with....everything

frustrating authority figures

surprising turns of events

heights

theoretical mathematics

making then breaking things then making them into something new (with mixed results)

Morrow (especially the twisting maze-like streets and the underground tunnels)

the more theoretical side of magic (he isn't here for practical magic)

getting swept up in a moment

Dislikes:

not good at making sure he eats regularly and doesn't really care about food (he smokes more than he eats and jokes that he has a liquid diet consisting mostly of vodka)

coming down from a high (whether emotional or otherwise)

that look of disappointment in authority figures' eyes (he reflexively fights back with biting sarcasm and even more outlandish behavior)

his family

stifling regulation, especially from the witches proper, who he thinks act superior to hedge witches without good cause. He sees them as one-trick ponies who have closed themselves off to some of the most beautiful (though maybe more unorthodox) forms of magic

people trying to organize his things (it's a physical representation of his thought process and isn't very linear. But he knows exactly where everything is in the chaos, he swears)

the finer points of emotional interactions with people (he tends to interact with others in over-the-top, off-puttingly extreme shows of emotion or no emotion at all. Complex nuances of relationships are beyond his logic, and therefore very tough for him to understand)

people who refuse to innovate and experiment

water and swimming, he's terribly afraid of drowning

boredom

Short bio: As with all those who sink into the murky waters of hedge magic, Lysander gave up his old life and drowned the boy he was. It seemed an easy price to pay for the ability to grab the fabric of reality and tear it to shreds, and oddly satisfying to murder everything his family made him. Who he was before is shrouded in mystery. But a few close to him (and that is a very, very few) know he studied theoretical mathematics somewhere before finding his way to Morrow. Even those who haven't heard his fragmented, sparse telling of his past can recognize the pedantic, vaguely disdainful drawl of an academic when he discusses his craft. His horrible, gaudy tastes also hint at squandered wealth. It takes good money to look that cheap. The flippant disregard for the finer points of surviving (like the necessity of a job or even the basics of housekeeping) also hints at an upbringing as another spoiled, pampered child hell-bent on a downward spiral. No, that past is nothing but a murky shadow, his true name nothing more than an echo. He was truly born, as he'll tell you on a good day or from the bottom of a bottle (which, all in all are often the same), in a dark alley in the warehouse district, blood dripping from his chin and fury burning in his throat. His blood hit the cracked pavement of Morrow and, whether he knew it or not, it was his first offering. The ley lines of Morrow focused all his anger, all his pain, and left nothing but two vaguely-human singe marks on the alley walls. A better man would have been horrified, running far away from that power. And a lesser man would have been devoured by it. But Lysander is none of those, lost maybe, unprincipled sure, unfocused definitely. But he is no hero, and he is no villain. It's true, he hasn't killed since. But most agree using reality-shattering magic fed from your own life-blood to perform petty party tricks is not the most responsible path. But Lysander doesn't care. What matters is learning, knowing, searching. And it appears that searching has provided more questions than answers.

Life in Morrow: Those familiar with the party scene in Morrow have probably seen Lysander. He appears to be nocturnal, though that may just be a product of nights that leave him in hungover stupors more often than not. He isn't exactly a "productive member of society," spending most daylight hours holed up in his grimy apartment/laboratory (which in all reality is an abandoned warehouse full of mismatch furniture, dirty beakers full of who-knows-what, an entire wall covered in chalk markings, and haphazard stacks of books) fiddling with his powers. Every so often a question catches hold of him and he can be found rummaging through the university library. No one knows how exactly he gets in. Maybe he knows someone, or maybe he just jimmies the fire escape lock. In any case, his daylight appearances are few and far between. Most of his time not spent downing whatever alcohol he can get his hands on or trying to break the laws of physics is spent exploring the subways, sewers, and tunnels under Morrow's streets. His apartment has a small cellar with a few precious treasures and a staircase that descends down into the veins of the city. While he prefers to explore alone, he has been known to venture out with a few trusted acquaintances on occasion. No one really knows how Lysander survives. He doesn't seem to take in any money, though perhaps he has no need for it. He doesn't even have a kitchen, and most of his food comes from the few friends he has leaving leftover Chinese or a few cold slices of pizza on his desk. In all, it's a rather lonely existence, surrounded and consumed by his studies and drowning in his vices. While he doesn't go out in search of company, he doesn't turn it away when it finds its way to his doorstep, often desperate, frightened, and in need of help. It takes a /very/ peculiar sort of desperation to rely on Lysnder Crane for help, but surprisingly enough, he never refuses.

Why do they want the Stone? Right now he's doing his best not to get murdered in an alley for it. He's also trying to figure out how to get it to work (equally, if not more dangerous). In the long-run, many people are worried he'll use it for his own magic. Anyte Vale is the only one who believes he actually knows what he's doing with it.

Greatest wish? To make something truly beautiful.

Greatest fear? Losing his magic. Life was boring and pointless before, and now it's the only thing that makes sense. Also, that feeling of power is hella addictive.

What 5 items would you put in a pentagram to summon them? a bottle of cheap vodka, a pair of expensive leather shoes, a half-empty pack of cigarettes, chalk, a broken shot glass (the two biggest things to know about Lysander: he's always wasted, and always dramatic)