#dancing over here! heehee! haha! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jrueships · 1 year ago

Text

HOME STRETCH ! WE'RE IN IT! LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT

Chat: He's scrolling real fast lol

Chat: nice nips

Chat: Here till I see a tear <- that person has been there from the BEGINNING. They are really committed to seeing him cry 😭 tumblr moots... did we find ur twitch or smthin🤨?

Left boob flinching again. I hate it here.

NAW NOW THE RIGHT IS MOVING TOO??? omg. Somebody tell him they'll donate 100 twitch incentive thingies whatever they are ONLY IF Sauce does the boobie dance like Dwayne the rock johnson

Sauce has like a ring light, u can see it reflect on the TV. Influencer queen

Sauce leaves screen to munch or he got self-conscious of his titty jig, chat worries if he's gonna cut the stream off

K, audibly munching hot cheetos somewhere off in the distance: he ain't cuttin it off 😐🙂

Chat: AHMAD DONT END THIS STREAM

IMMA COME FIND YOU !

DON'T YOU DARE

(They're seething😭 the sadists)

Sauce trying to be grateful for the subs but it's hard lol 'ppreciate the uhh..'*starts dancing to new york music with roll of seal*

Around 19:00 he starts dancing and looks like a pigeon

20:30 he's talking about the other tat he's getting already while his muscles are still twitching in pain. Sauce. Go to bed 😭 man he probably can't with all that pain.

He's still holding up the tat drawing waiting for people to say 'W's but instead all the chats doing is talking about his toes

Cut to him and the neck tattoo again

22:40 Sg: ayy you owe me uhhh a bluerade & *idk wtf he said here*

K: wth u mean bro 🤨?

Sg: haha im kiddin im good im good 🤭🤭

Kyle talks about his appreciation for the chat, getting hyped from everyone saying W tattoo AWW he's so sweet

Chat: I know that wipedown b hurtin

Sauce: THAT WHAT IM SAYIN!! That wipedown def be hurtin 😫!!

K: sorry :(

Tatman picks camera up to look at the masterpiece he left on sauce's neck (🤨)

27:58, K: mhm 🙂

Sauce's neck fuckin. Convulses and he moans and gets up lol, Tatman has to move the camera to find him. Unappreciative ghoul 😭

He sits up and just kind of dissociates. Long silence. GOD HIS BOOBS ARE MOVING CRAZY. LIKE IN SEPARATE WAYS. IT'S LITERALLY TERRIFIYING

THE MIC KEEPS CUTTING IN AND OUT NOOOOO but basically sauce is like ' they talkin shit bout me 😔? Ughhh' and kyle comes over and says something and sauce smiles

30:05: Sg: yeah that shit gonna hurt <- said with blissed out in pain smile

Sg: hol on-THE CAMERAS TILTED--(makes feeble attempt to fix it. Realizes muscles and skin are experiencing the seven layers to hell.) Nvm i guess it's all good- (lmfao)

K: *tries to help fix it for him anyways* (OK Gregory abbott elementary.. I see u)

Sg: it's all good :) (expression is that of a dying man fighting his demons) (compulsive desire to be in control) *shoots constant worried looks at the camera*

Sauce ends up getting up anyways to fix the mic situation 🙄 like thanks but can u just let this beautiful malewife take care of u DAMMMN!! stubborn ass 😑.

I THINK IT'S KYLE but someone just gently slides their phone in front of our face again to show us some cool image/tattoo I think maybe? It reminds me of the Muppets, the movement he made. It's so funny, I feel like a baby. He's pointing to shit but I can't hear him

Sg: yeah it's definitely fire 😫 <- on the verge of collapse

Sg: CHAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO BREATHE

Chat: it's still choppy (it is)

Sg: ??? IT'S STILL CHOPPY 😦?!??!?? (YES!!)

Sg: .... i think it's only choppy for You 😒🙄. (His instant victim blaming)

IT'S STILL CHOPPY!!! but now some of the chat is gaslighting him that the others are gaslighting him, im sick

Some mod Don asks Sauce how much a tat costs. Sauce suggests Don text tatman and tatman might give him a lil discount cus he's a friend of a friend. He gives tatman his best seductive heehee sauce look. .....i don't think tatman is going to give Don a discount.

Sg: he said tell him im using code sauce for 25 percent off 😹

K: 😐

Sg: 😥

Sg: just lemme know when you're ready to- (blow my back out. The mic cut off when he said that tho but trust me. He said that)

Sg: chat said don't end the live 😹 easy, im not gonna end the-

[VIDEO ENDS]

taking lil notes on the sauce getting a tat stream.... will be reblogging with more bcs this video is fucking long as shit plus with me always pausing to write whatever nonsense i find funny? yea, idk if ill be able to get thru this all lmao 😭 but yea this will just be lil blurbs rewritten n commented on as i watch on one device and take notes on another like a lil movie major or smthin LMAO. To shorten typing time, Sauce will be SG and tat man will just be K as his real name is Kyle. ok? ok

SG, impatient & cocky, trying to show out 4 the stream like a little loser: ay cmon bruh im ready 😤!!🤘🏿 *goes to lay down on the jets styled?? tatting bed??? idk what that is i don't get tats.. i just know they probably fucked on it cus sauce winced when he had to sit down LMAO. went from ay bruh im ready to EUAGH 😫!! Eh 😣😖!! in a millisecond LMFAO*

K: *checks himself out on camera for a split second*

K: *very polite to the stream's viewing. Apparently has never streamed or got an audience up close n personal during his tat sessions. Only shows the before and after photos so this is a new but very fun experience for him. aww, so cute <3 sauce getting him to try new things!!!! He's nervous about getting the best angles for us and he's always trying his best to please!! ( he's so service top it's Mad. it's MADDENIN!!! ) Sauce dramatic diva demanding hot n s*x fierce reporter mean fake bitch and his quiet polite and personable yet professionally firm, keeping sauce in line when he needs to fulltime cameraman part time bodyguard when the situation gets unexpectedly (or expectedly. Not everyone has Tat man's insanely loyal patience with sauce...) hostile WHEN??? Slowburn We're just workers/he's just my minion to ........... don't ask why we came out of the same bathroom at the same time STFU ?? HELLO??? TAT MAN!!!*

Chat: cook up kyle

Kyle: !! :] !! yea 😺!! im boutta cook 🥰 (HE KEEPS GETTING SO SWEETLY HYPED UP FROM SAUCES LIL AUDIENCE. IT'S SO CUTE LOL)

1:05 (around there idk none of these time stamps will be any accurate bcs i pause late after realizing smthin was funny then guestimate where it started so sorry :( ): sauce walking his big b00bies up in our face jumpscare :/ . To help Kyle zoom the camera per his chats demands. He lowkey high key very anxious and micromanaging abt kyle using his camera equipment lol. He just loves telling people what to do but also that shit is probably very expensive. But cmon sauce. Kyle the cameraman's got it!!! HE EVEN HAS THE PERFECT CAMERAMAN NAME LIKE?? Let him take care of you bbygirl ..😼

Sauce once again (a bit more gingerly this time) sits himself on his jets style seat thing and let's out a little cry of pain when his ass hits it??? sauce these bttm allegations are BEATING ur ASS lmao????

Kyle does what sauce was about to do for him and sauce kinda :/// >:( 😰😰😠. Sauce try to go five seconds without micromanaging challenge impossible. Complains about chat being able to see his facial expressions being too close up now and how he won't be able to fuck with Kyle no more cus of it cus they'll make shit is weird. Kyle simply responds ' That's love 🙂. '

Sauce goads the chat asking if he should end stream. Kyle at first thinks maybe he isn't cameramanning right and gets a little nervous/sad at disappointing sauce but quickly catches onto the strategy and joins in on the bait. The chat take it with a chorus of Nos. Girlboss sauce malewife Tat man media powercouple ftw?

2:58, K: wait turn ur head a lil bit? *Sauce looks at him* no, other way *sauce looks away, exposing neck to him and pre-ink*

K admires his work. Shows it off to the chat, tells them he's getting them right. Zooms in on sauce's neck

SOMEBODY SAID 'L NIPPLE' IN THE CHAT WHAT???? Chat language is so.... beautiful 😭

'Stop being a lil girl take the pain like a man'????? Yall sure this is twitch and not p*rnhub ??? tf?

Kyle zooms in. Chat: "glad to get the nipple off the page" HELP. my thoughts exactly

Kyle tries hiding sauces face with his zooms bcs he knows sauce was self conscious about his expressions lmao. Chat, instantly, and these are different people too. Everyone is a sadist here apparently. My kinda people 😼: 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE FR' 'HIS FACE BRO WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE' 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE IF HE CRIES'

3:38 Sauce, reading the chat bcs if he doesn't have attention that he can feel for five seconds he explodes and dies: is my face in there ? <- literally just whined about not wanting his face seen bcs he'd get weird comments and ruin his very heterosexual very platonic relationship with tat man. But is now turning his whole tune around for some shred of people pleasing attention omg 🙄 poo fimbly 😑

K: nah they be clownin 😿.. *just wants to protect him*

Sauce agrees a bit then quickly changes subject to compliment himself.

Sauce notices camera needs shifting so he tries but Kyle's on it before he can. Sauce keeps trying anyways until eventually the needles settle him slougish

5:10 chat tells them to zoom out but sauce defends his cameraman: AINT NO ZOOM OUT 😾😾!! HE TRYNA GIVE YOU THE UPCLOSE LOOKS !!

Kyle zooms out anyways

Sauce whines about his nipple lol

Sg: yall weird af 😑 Yall tryna see my nipple or smthin 🤨? *incredulous look to camera*

K: FREE THE NIP!!!!! <- reading off chat, sadly

THE CHAT BULLIED HIM INTO HIDING HIS BOOBS LMAO. He got a blanket 😭 so now he's gonna be with another man... while under a blanket ? um. sauce I think this is pretty lose lose if u ask me .

Kyle wearing those black tattoo gloves gently touching sauces neck.... soft dom and not even trying to hide it 🤨?

Chat: stop moaning 😐

Sauce: my bad bruh 😔

Someone: get the tissues ready (????)

Sg: in da trenches 😼. in da trenches 😼

Someone in chat: sauce do u like when men fuck u? ( 🤔.. it's a fair ask 😳.)

Chat: the right side of my neck hurted the most (average sauce fan iq, im afraid )

Chat: SAUCE BABY START TWERKING

( now im just finding funny chat stuff cus all sauce doing rn is trying to not cry by randomly singing along to the music and kyle is working)

Chat trying to plot lies on kyle by spamming kyle messed up smthin so sauce can get worried lmao

9:40: around there, maybe a bit later, sauce starts groaning and cursing more

Chat: Sauce is it hard

Sauce asks how many people watching bcs u know he looooves an audience. Kyle doesn't know how to check so he has to stop and ask the chat

Kyle: Seven- ..... 776? 800? a thousand? man idk :(. yall play too much >:( yall play too damn much 🙄! ... i fuck with yall tho >:)

Chat trying to gaslight sauce into thinking Kyle's actually tatting a dick on his neck

I've been skipping or doing other stuff during some of the tatting. Sauce got up to try and figure out some twitch function? Mic suppression? idk. He lowkey stalling lol.

Kyle starts asking what the chat been saying around 31:40, curious.

Sauce and Kyle mumble to songs internmentedly lol

33:25 around there kyle raps to a song he rlly likes. Sauce adlibs it's cute

PAUSING THIS AT 35:10. We basically got an hour left in this jawn. YALL WE WATCHED ALOT IM PROUD!!!! OK im leaving this here for now, reblogging l a ter maybe even finishing it idk? I just need this shit sent cus im a lil nervous if it'll even load... this was a lotta work 😭 all for tatman and sauce interactions damn... ion even know this man's last name .. i need to go do strong people things now BYE see yall soon hopefully

#WE'RE DONE!!!@@@!@#.....with this video anyways #DAMMIT. I KNEW SMTHIN WAS MISSING FUCK #TATMAN STILL HAD TO BLOW SAUCES BACK OUT WTFFFF #thats why i sat THRU this WHOLE TING #ugh i think the actual is 2 hours n smthin #WHICH LIKE #I HAD A FEELING #but im bad with numbers 😭#man #whatever 😭#sauce #ted longer #sauceman #thats tatman and sauces new shipname #tell ur friends

14 notes · View notes

transsexualhamlet · 3 years ago

Note

don't apologize, this was exactly what I was going for! you wouldn't know how enjoyable getting those hyperfixation essays out of you is. I love them a great deal. all of them. you're one of those people who are unmatched at analysis.

now back to questions: what's your take on Ivan? I saw he was one of the possible test results, but since I didn't get him, I'm questioning you personally now

(I cannot get Lent out of my head now thanks to you...)

HEE HEE :))

Here, I'll screenshot Ivan's answer.

I have lots of thoughts on Ivan tbh, although they're complicated.

I know Asagiri never meant for him to be an important character or to ever really expand upon him but i am never going to get over the fact that Asagiri really just went "oh yeah by the way guys here's this absolutely nutzo crazy dude claiming that Fyodor fucking lobotomized him. He gets defeated really easily though so no worries."

LIKE? HI?

Most people just take that at face value and go "oh yeah whatever, it's a villain minion, all villains have minions, he's weird and evil and pathetic ok moving on" but like. Can we hold on a minute????

If I remember correctly, Ivan said that Fyodor took out the part of his brain that feels sadness and pain, which from my very limited knowledge of the brain is just objectively not a thing that works. That's just not. A thing you can do. Cause yeah you could stop the part that recognizes pain signals, but that doesn't make anyone any less sad, it just makes them not feel physical pain.

And he wasn't like, literally lobotomized, because if that were so he would not be. Yaknow. Dancing around as he is. And he has bandages around his entire head, which would not be the case since lobotomies don't require you to cut open ur damn skull.

Well you know, it pretty much follows that whatever he's claiming Fyodor did to him is. Objectively not the case, because it's nonsensical, and Literally Why would Fyodor fucking lobotomize a guy that's so. What. What is the point of that

So I mean, I have two theories, one of them funny and one of them not

Either Ivan is just high as fuck all the time and thinks it would be funny to wrap bandages around his head and larp as a lobotomy victim and then Fyodor comes back like "Kolya came crying to me saying I lobotomized you what lies are you putting in his head" and Ivan being like heehee haha hoohoo

OR that Fyodor is definitely messing with his head, but in a normal manipulatory and ability-assisted way not a literal i am squishing your grey matter way. They definitely have a fucked up awful relationship, and I think I consider Ivan to be the narrative opposite of Nikolai, though they are genuinely similar.

So in that case Ivan would also still be on so many drugs all the time because look me in the eye and tell me that man isn't zooted out of his fucking mind

But in my opinion, the case of how something like this came to be with Fyodor was a situation similar to Shibusawa. Fyodor is someone who provides the worst sort of comfort to people.

Shibusawa liked Fyodor because Fyodor offered him concrete answers to the useless mess of confusion his life was, he provided easy comfort and a way to exist that satisfied the Hole in his Heart TM.

And I think Ivan probably had the same kind of problem- he was utterly lost in the world with no clue how to function probably scared of anything and everything and with no one to rely on and a terrible opinion of himself. The second he met Fyodor he was probably overjoyed even knowing Fyodor was this actual criminal mastermind who would probably manipulate and control him, use him and throw him away because it made him feel needed. He was seeking an escape from sanity to throw himself into something awful on purpose, and that seems to be Fyodor's specialty.

So Ivan probably jumped at the chance to get in on it, because Fyodor sympathized with his suffering and was the only one to give him a genuine solution. "Oh, so you need direction and relief? You need to be of use to people? If you truly see no use in your sanity, I could take it off your hands. You could join my terrorist organization and I'll lobotomize you! You can give up your free will altogether, because these things hurt for you to wield, and I'll take care of you, you'll be very helpful to me, god in the real, and I thank you very much" And Ivan cries tears of joy

Of course, Fyodor doesn't literally lobotomize him, but Ivan doesn't have to know that! I feel there must have genuinely been some ability intervention that did fuck him up farther than just being high though, Fyodor wants to make sure Ivan wouldn't ever betray them (or anyone else, that's yknow, why it's so easy for him to snatch up mentally ill people from the streets and make them worship him)

The case is Fyodor does genuinely care about Nikolai and Ivan very much so he does but his "caring" is I Am Going To Control You Completely And Play God Because I Don't Know How Else To Help

So no, I don't think his brain was genuinely messed with because that just doesn't seem like a Fyodor thing further than in a metaphorical sense. But Ivan is for all intents and purposes utterly under the control of Fyodor and also totally fine with that. As in it's a combination of he wants it bc he's very mentally ill and also it's a bdsm thing hiehrjgidfkslfljgujk

I have a fic about him trying to explain this whole Situation that I've been planning to write Forever because I really do care for Ivan a lot and I think there's a lot I could write with him that would explore not only him but Fyodor and Nikolai and their view of the world but I keep getting sidetracked

#rowan gets yelled at #corpse fic anon

12 notes · View notes

wshaeil · 4 years ago

Text

* ◟ ― 🍓cl - clang !! hello , it’s so nice to meet you all - my name is jada , but you can just call me 𝐎𝐇 𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐈𝐋’s mun !! i’m super excited to be here , and hopefully you guys take to me and phoenix’s leader , haeil ! he has a semi - sad vibe , but don’t be fooled, he’s a pretty cool guy ! below you’ll find trivia as well as general connections while i work on te real plots page ! and as always, please like if you’d like to plot alongside me and my boy !! lets go !

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄 . // 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃. // 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓. //

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃.

i’m going to lightly touch on his backstory here but his bio is already loaded w stuff haha so !! i won’t bore you with too many details !!

came from a family w / high expectations of him, to always be the responsible big brother ... and he did ! always was good at school stuff, took care of stuff at home when needed, etc !

but deep down he was ( and is ) not happy w how he felt his own happiness was always sacrificed for others, despite not wanting to admit it & sounding selfish ? but anyways, it got him acting up, and he had a whooole little rebellious streak that was completely out his character !

though he realllyyy enjoyed the rush, his little adventure ended quick when his parents noticed him skipping class & all that ! so his first year of hs they made him join a school club to find better friends, and that’s where he found dance !

there he learned dance and well ... the rest is history !! loved every minute of it, but got a really bad injury that had him out of dances for a while, and it crushed him, but he came back with a newfound true appreciation for it !

time skip, his friends encouraged him to audition when word came around about yuseong auditions and ... voila ! here we are !!

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.

ok so you’ll have to excuse me as haeil is one of those this . . . and also that characters HAHA, so he’s got opposing personality traits even within himself ! he even is confused by it hee heeeee

also sidenote his younger sister is @wsharin !! they’re definitely giving opposites yet crazy type, have quite different personalities, but grwing up in similar environments w each other has kept them very close ! kinda thinks he’s fake youngest out of them, yet fiercely protective of her !

but ! his natural instinct is actually to be pretty wild, outgoing, have fun. he’s the happiest when he can do that, and those closest to him probably know him to be quite the joker when he lets loose.

buuut for years now he’s been conditioned into the responsible leader-type he is now, though it def is his more manufactured side. but nowadays it’s what he reverts to, because he sort of just thinks there’s not enough room in everyone’s life for him to be so chaotic ??

haeil tries his hardest to blend in the background, as he feels it’s what a good leader does and he wants to give the rest of his team the shine. because he hasn’t been dancing as long as most others around him, and had a relatively short training time, he’s still v doubtful of his own worthiness of being in the position he is, therefore he sort of feels like ... he doesn’t deserve attention ?? ( and while this is true to an extent, haeil also needs to work through this constant pessimism within himself and learn to take pride in his achievements !! )

so a lot of times what you’ll see is a man trying to be a leader, with the inner child ( ! ) in him poking through. though he encourages participation from his other members rather than himself, his fans are known for pointing out all the moments he gets jumpy / excited / hyper, and he’s kinda developed this “tsundere” vibe because of it ? it’s not exactly correct but he’ll take it heehee

as a leader, esp on variety, you’ll see him doing little things to make the quieter / less talked to members heard this whole compilation ?? literally him.

if you’re close to him though, you’ll really see he’s not nearly as serious as he seems. he’s extreeemely caring, almost to a fault, w those close to him ? and will take care of literally anything they need. got rent due tomm ? send him your payment info and he’ll send over all he has in his account. but on top of that, he just loves to have fun, and if in an environment that allows, v spontaneous !

def mom friend vibes. doesn't like coffee but loves his morning tea, sweaters, tries to establish a bed time for phoenix, always managing to have remembered that one thing someone else forgot, packing snacks, all the good stuff !

but !! the entertainer in haeil is compleetely different, and largely why he got famous ! a charismatic dancer for sure, enjoys a lot of hip hop as it’s what he’s had most practice in, and whenever he dances he truly has fun !!

he was so deep in his own insecurities, and it showed in his dancing, untilll cherry bomb. phew cherry bomb haeil was ... a whole era, and what a lot of people attribute to being his vibe switch that made him 1000x more confident !

despite what many think he loooves aggresive rap. rock & r&b are right up there too. loves music that reminds him he can feel things !!

poor thing ... cannot handle his alcohol. legit tries to avoid drinking altogether bc like one drink and he’s already trying to crawl onto tables. actually loves going out for drinks but avoids it like the plague bc he thinks it ruins his pride lolll

while he claims he's too busy for love - and he genuinely is kinda - he is a hopeless romantic deep down. his mind always drifts to him & his future partner living all suburban w kids who match clothes and having a family dog, all the fixings ... he just wants a cute dad vibe and gets depressed when he thinks of how being an idol is kinda preventing that from coming anytime soon

this is getting SO LONG WHAT lets move on !!

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

someone who didn’t actually make it / hasn’t yet debuted in the industry, but who haeil reallly looks up to as a mentor ? whether a rapper / singer or just someone he admires, haeil gets depressed every time he remembers the person who got him where he is hasn't even got their shot of fame yet, and who he feels he owes quite everything to. though he’s got the whole leader thing going on, this person makes him act like a whole little sibling.

english tutor !! he genuinely wants to be so much better than he is, and doubts his skills as a good leader bc of it and would loove someone to help him !! also def down to learn from someone who speaks japanese, since he’s learning that as well ! he just wants to connect w more fans D:

someone who lets him lets loossee !! need i say more ?? haeil needs to have some fun and be himself before he pops a brain vessel, and that seems like it’s becoming more and more of a possibility oijdoidjodjod. alcohol may or may not be included iin the equation but if so prepare for chaos personified !

an ex perhaps ?? he’s bisexual so this could go either way, but someone he was w in high school and for whatever reason, it didn’t work out ?? we could give them awkward or tension w angst where they never got closure, or two people who just worked better as friends and maintained a great connection !

someone who he’s truly just ... whipped over ? something about their energy has him wanting to see them more and more and quite honestly, p out of character. openly a simp and just wilding whenever this person’s in the room hours .. let’s go !!

best friends. but i mean like .... beeest friends. they don't have to necessarily go back, not all best friends do, but what matters is them now ! friends who have an incredibly special connection, the type to just .. basically be talking in their own language of inside jokes and such.

for those who might not be from korea / have the closest relationship w their own family, haeil’s got you ! if your muse has always wanted someone who cooks for them, gives advice, or just listens and provides a shoulder to cry on, mr.haeil is the man for you !!

#☾⠀ · ⠀𝐨𝐡 𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐢𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬⠀⎯⎯⠀⠀ooc. ♥︎⠀

13 notes · View notes

abbeyroadie · 5 years ago

Text

I know others have gotten that stupid question when someone finds out that you like The Beatles they ask, “Oh yeah? Name five Beatles songs that weren’t big hits.” The other day I told someone that my favorite Beatle is Paul McCartney and they said, “Ok, name five songs from McCartney’s solo career.” Laaaaaawd I have nothing to prove to anyone, but it always grinds my gears when people assume I’m only wearing a Beatles t-shirt for aesthetics, or I only love Paul for his looks. Bitch please.

So I compiled this list of songs that I first tried to narrow down to ten and quickly realized I couldn’t even narrow it down to twenty, lol. My favorite Paul McCartney songs post Beatles era are listed below with links to YouTube to hear each song. I left out anything he did as a collaboration just because this list is hella long already. Please feel free to add your favs as well!

36. Calico Skies

- I love the simplicity of this song. Paul’s finger picking on the guitar vaguely reminds me of the style of Blackbird.

35. Put It There

- This song has a soft, sweet melody that always gets stuck in my head.

34. The World Tonight

- “I go back so far, I’m in front of me.” Sometimes Paul’s lyrics are awesomesauce, lol.

33. Call Me Back Again

- I love how this song kinda goes back to his roots. Very oldies, very bluesy. Lots of wailing Paul and great guitar licks.

32. This One

- Might be a song for John if you squint sideways and upside down. Another one that’s a definite earworm.

30./31. Venus and Mars/Rock Show

- I’m sort of cheating but these two songs def go together. Venus and Mars is very melodic and draws you in, jumping right into the rocker that is aptly named Rock Show. A great way to kick off the V&M album.

29. C Moon

- This tune is very sentimental to my sister and me. As kids we’d run around the house singing it at the top of our lungs. Also, the beginning when Paul misses the intro and just keeps the gaff in the song makes it that much better, lol.

28. Somedays

- A quiet song, Paul’s more thoughtful, reflective side. The dueling acoustic guitars and harp are especially lovely.

27. Big Barn Bed

- I used to skip over this song because I thought it made no sense. Then one day it hit me how much fun it is. And now I wanna keep on sleeping in a big barn bed too, haha.

26. With a Little Luck

- One of those uplifting, positive tracks that Paul is so freaking good at creating.

25. Young Boy

- Just the way Paul sings “looooooong” and “strooooong” at the end of a couple of the lyrics. And the guitar solo kicks ass too.

24. Goodnight Tonight

- Ooh boy, where to start with this song? First and foremost, that BASSLINE. Perhaps it’s a disco-ish dance number that meets electronica? I don’t even know. John said he didn’t like this song but he loved Paul’s bass playing on it, so there you go, lol.

23. Nineteen-Hundred and Eighty-Five

- This one is very upbeat, but the slowed down intermission with the “ooohs” is what makes it interesting to me. It also includes some amazing piano playing.

22. Hi, Hi, Hi

- I prefer the live version of this song, but it’s tons of fun no matter what.

21. Junk

- A very soft tune that would have fit perfectly on The White Album. Very stripped back and almost sad.

20. Off the Ground

- Paul at his very best at creating melodies that are catchy and fun and don’t delve too deep. “I need lovin’, you need lovin’ too.” And you can’t forget the hand claps and la la las! Good luck getting this song out of your head.

19. Live and Let Die

- I’d be surprised if you haven’t heard this song sometime in your life. It’s one of those songs where you hear it and go, “Wait, I know this song. This is Paul McCartney?!” He be James Bond like that, heehee.

18. Dear Boy

- I’ve heard this song is about Linda’s ex. Some think it’s about John. Either way, it’s a catchy little tune.

17. Take It Away

- This is a great song even before you realize how amazeballs Paul’s bass playing is on it.

16. Monkberry Moon Delight

- Y’all, WHAT EVEN IS THIS SONG?! I don’t know, but it’s so freaking FUN! Paul’s poor voice though. I feel like he probably couldn’t talk for a week after laying down the vocal track, lol.

15. Too Much Rain

- Ugh, this song is so beautiful and so sad at the same time. Paul trying to be optimistic as always.

14. Dear Friend

- Is this a song about John too? Maybe. Probably. A haunting melody with a solitary piano for most of it, with a heavy feeling of regret, at least imo.

13. Band on the Run

- Here you get three songs in one, not unlike the Abbey Road medley but completely different as well. Paul knows how to kick off an album, that’s for sure!

12. Maybe I’m Amazed

- I prefer the live version of this song too, but it kicks you in the gut no matter what. Paul loved Linda so much, and he lets everyone know it.

11. Tug of War

- Ok, I don’t know if this song is about John. It could be. It sounds like Paul’s talking about something…more. “In another world we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled.” “We will be dancing to the beat played on a different drum.” What is Paul trying to say exactly? Many have debated the lyrics to no end. You decide.

10. Too Many People

- This is FOR SURE about John, and the breakup of the Beatles. And it started a song war between John and Paul that would go on for years. But it’s also a bop, lol.

9. Here Today

- This is Paul speaking to John after John’s death. And it’s completely heartbreaking. I have to be in a certain mindset to listen to this one.

8. Hope of Deliverance

- If this song doesn’t get your foot tapping and your head bopping, idk you might want to check your pulse.

7. Silly Love Songs

- DAT BASS THO. For real, this song is built around Paul’s bassline and it’s amazing! Also, this was Paul basically giving John the finger for making fun of his “granny shit” and “silly love songs.”

6. Jet

- This is one that I crank up in my car and it may or may not make me drive a little faster, lol. I love it so much.

5. Little Lamb Dragonfly

- A two for one! Both songs are lovely, but I particularly love the dragonfly lyrics and melody. (Yes, this song is possibly about John as well (“how did two rights make a wrong?”), but it’s debatable.) Listening to it once usually isn’t enough for me.

4. Little Willow

- Whew, this one makes me emotional. The guitar, the lyrics, the piano, Paul’s voice – all so soothing and unbelievably soft and achy. It breaks my heart in the sweetest way.

3. Mull Of Kintyre

- Arguably the biggest hit of Paul’s solo career, it’s like the Hey Jude of its own time. And it has freaking BAGPIPES, lol. This is one of those songs that you’ve heard before, but you don’t know where and you don’t know how, you just have. It will stick with you for a long time.

2. Let Me Roll It

- This song. THIS SONG. Ughhhhhhhh. So sexy I can’t even begin to explain. You just have to listen and let it take you there. Another one where the bassline makes you want to weep. Tingles. Tingles everywhere.

1. Wanderlust

- This will forever be my favorite solo Paul McCartney song. Completely underrated and simply magical. George Martin has said that this is Paul’s greatest vocal performance and I wholly agree. His voice is so pure and melodic, I sometimes get emotional listening to it. The song as a whole just checks all the boxes of what I most love about a Paul McCartney song – beautiful, melodious and timeless. There’s that old jokey saying, “If this ain’t played at my funeral, I ain’t going.” Yeah, this is that song for me.

#the beatles #paul mccartney #mclennon #i spy mclennon #long post #this was harder to do than i thought #i love a whoooole bunch of paul songs lol

65 notes · View notes

warmbeebosoftbeebo · 6 years ago

Note

(shimmy anon) oh shes practically grinding on him! But like, pulling him in. She's holding him and pulling his but up against her and the .. shimmy .. ok so now Im picturing them dancing and instead of the stereopical girl grinding against her man it's her pulling him back into her and hes grinding his but back onto her ... you've turned me on, dammit

;) b, sarah, i n you worked together on that one :D

https://warmbeebosoftbeebo.tumblr.com/post/167519733935/patd-online-when-you-freezin-but-the-view-is-so - i had forgotten some details:

-she moves her hand from his chest to his shoulder before the shimmies

-she looks over at the camera person (zack?) n he pans that camera away lol (guess zack can watch but he can’t record stuff like that heehee)

-she prob wasn’t thinking that that moment would be caught on camera. i wonder if she kept it up afterwards? :D (hope so)

so we know that boy will back that booty up into someone’s crotch (the fob/top prank where he twerks on one of them, him grinding real close to taylor louderman’s crotch)… so him n sarah have def danced like that. like, i consider it a fact haha.

oh god, now i’m thinking about him n sarah doin it to. n am turned on as well. whoo boy. *edit to add: so… this turned into a lil something*

“hey b,” she giggles into his ear, then gives him a wet warm smooch on his neck. “dat azz,” she adds shamelessly, grabbing him, hip n shoulder, already pulling him back against her. definitely on her third drink then.

“sarah…” he’s rocking a little back against her already, on instinct. “dance floor, or are you gonna hump dat azz at the bar?”

“oh fuck… could bend you over right here…” she whispers, hands squeezing his hips, rocking, no grinding now, against him. circular n in n out at the same time. fuck. fuck. his back is already arched, butt pressed firmer to her, trying to remember how there’s… people… in the bar. a public bar. and he’s not exactly vices era level famous–or lack rather thereof–anymore. already picturing them naked, him bent over, her hands on his hips, her fucking her closed pussy against him. or on his belly, rocking into the bed, her thighs bracketing his hips, spread and wet and hot and grinding n rocking n panting in his ear. or holding him down, hands on his back, his hair. till she comes and comes, keeps going even as he ends up babbling, pleading for the strap on, a toy, fingers inside, her hand on him, her pussy rocking over his dick, some lube to slick the way for his dick, something. fuck, he remembers how he’d often come, just from that, her fucking him like that, her pussy on him, her noises, her hands n body covering him, the sweat between them schlucking, as he rocked into the bed. jesus.

god, god… he doesn’t want to stop, but… maybe some levity… he camps up his movements against her, twerking now, and she switches from pants, looking around, grinding on him seriously, little mmms n “oh god, b”s n “your my boy…” to moving to the music–vengaboys? it’s been years since he heard them. but it is 90s night at a gay bar.

“boom boom boom boom boom… i want you in my room…” she sings, still giggling. and he joins in, rolling his hips, making a goober face for her to turn n smooch. “silly boy… n thank goodness for that… god… but… how about we listen to the song?”

he’s nodding, n she turns him around, backing him against the counter, grinding on his front, his half hard dick, smooching over his cheeks, jaw, lips. “race ya,” and she’s running off, leaving him to find zack close by, tell him they’re ready to go.

“you are? you’re ready? ready to go?”

he’s tipsy, so instead of annoying, he finds it amusing. “ohh ohh oh ooooh,” he answers.

“bet you are…” zack says, guiding him out of the bar, kala following.

“we all saw b…” she singsongs. “couple of tramps,” she tsks, grinning.

sarah grabs brendon, pulling him into the back seat with her, kissing him, hands roaming, but slow, right after zack pulls the door open. zack sighs. “just keep your fucking pants on. and zipped!”

“no,” kala moans. “let them show us what a short stop bren is.”

zack stops pulling out the parking lot to glare at her. “you’re all lucky i can’t get mad at her, but… i mean it. i ain’t cleaning up any fucking messes for one.”

“oh gross!” sarah calls out, stopping from kissing b, straddling him, grinding on his pelvis, dick. then whispers “except not actually gross when it’s you…” n grinds back down, but slower. “baby boy…”

5 notes · View notes

userpurple · 3 years ago

Note

haha thanks! I’m going for film, so I only had to suffer though drawing classes and stuff in my freshman year. And yes! The objective part is soo correct! i actually love my school, its less about those ~paint your feelings~ assignments and more about like, preparing you for the workforce lol. Its hard though!!! And lmaooooo every time I go back to sketching irl instead of digitally I always press an imaginary back button like it will undo something HFGKJSF and omg the dance issssss hardddd I basically pass out after I do the whole dance lmao. Its christmas eve!! tomorrow ill reveal myself!! some final questions for you: pineapples or mangos? what’s your favorite animal? do you like cute things (like stuffed animals)? thunderstorms or snowfalls? what’s something you find underrated? - pixel ❄️

yay i got it right! heehee😁im so glad your school is being practical and training y’all and grading you on objectivity📝✏️but hey film is even more exciting! i hear there are a looottt of all-night shoots lol. what sort of film are you interested in?

oof i would pass out too I mean the video was what, 8 minutes long??? us plebs do NOT have the stamina🤣

i’m guessing from this ask that you’re behind me in terms of time zones😛😂it’s already the 25th here! so merry christmas soon?😅

mangoes, my favorite animal(s) are horses and foxes, yes i love cute things lajshssks but i have a love-hate relationship with the word ‘cute’ lmao that’s all anyone ever describes me as. smile for the camera? ‘awwww you’re so cute!!’ walk? ‘awww you walk so cute!!’ CUTE CUTE CUTE GAAAAHHHH😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩I have no reaction when people call me that now🥲but i do like squealing over cute puppers and fluffy bunnies and just lakshskajpspspspsps hehe *insert anime heart eyes*

thunderstorms bc i love the rain and also i live in a tropical country so I’ve never seen snow irl :p

and i think old timey films and actors/actresses are really underrated (i love gene kelly and debbie reynolds and those types)?? like, these were people who actually sang, danced and acted IN A SINGLE TAKE. and that was a time when you were expected to be well-versed in ALL THREE!! there’s this one dance number called the Babbitt and the Bromide by Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire from Ziegfeld Follies and it’s about 7 minutes long. if you follow along closely you’ll see the camera almost never switches to another shot?? like it literally follows them around for the entire number! i think it’s also really something that’s under appreciated. they probably practiced that until they almost passed out to get the perfect take. they didn’t have editing and post-production stuff back then!! so yeah there you go sorry for the essay😅

#asks #answered #anon asks #secret santa (taylor's version)

0 notes

ambiengrey · 7 years ago

Text

Loitering Ch 12

This is it; summary.

<-previous

bearing bad news

“The world seemed to shimmer a little at the edges.”

― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

When awareness came slowly sinking back in, it was through the solidity of the cabinet at his back – the sharp handle digging into the muscle, the scars, there—

Jason pressed back, hard, desperate to feel grounded against something, even as the absurd possibility that he might slip right through it – fall into some unknown abyss – made him anxious—

Then he heard Dick.

It was jarring, for he couldn’t remember, for a moment, when the man had gotten there—

And then, he realised the memory eluded him, because, Dick had never gotten there—

Opening his eyes felt like something he had to force his body into, and with it came an involuntary tremor, rocking his limbs, like he’d snapped out of sleep-paralysis – only, he hadn’t gone to sleep—

Vaguely, he remembered, the shaking in his fingers, as he’d backed off of Tim – on his back, limbs jerking, while he mumbled, and giggled incomprehensively – and scooted as far away as he could get—

On his haunches, fingers pressing into his thighs while his breaths came ragged and irregular and Tim’s words danced through the quickly gathering fog in his head—B—Bruce’s’d—dead—

—Bruce’s’d—

—dead—

—B—

—

—Bruce—

—‘s—d—

—

—dead—

—

—dead—

—

—Bruce—is—dead—

—in a brief moment of clarity, he could hardly be sure had been real, he’d looked over to Tim – gaze having been on—the floor—the walls—the cupboards – and realised the words weren’t in his head, because they were still spilling from the kid’s mouth—

“Bruce is—

“—dead—

“Bruce—

“—Bruce is dead—

“Bruce is dead—d—

“—dead—

“Bruce is dead—”

—

Before—

—

“A—ha-a—”

Laughter.

“Ah-HA—ha-HA—A—!”

Jason had practically fallen back, hitting cabinets, drawing up his knees – arms, hands – as he folded into himself, shutting his eyes tight while he shook and struggled to breathe—

Tim laughing in his ears until he couldn’t hear him anymore.

“Haa-ha-ha—haha—HA—HEHE—HAA-HAA—heh—heh—heh—haha—HaHAHAA—haa-a-a-ha-a—

“Ha-hA-AAH-HA—ha-ha-haa—a-a—hehe—heh—Ha-HA—HAHAHAA—HAAA-HA—HAAA-AH-HA—

“HA-HA-HA—HAA-HA—HA-HA—HAA-HEH—HEH—HA-A—HA-HAA—HA—HA—HA—HA—HA—HA—

“AAH—HAA-HA-HA—H-HEH—HE—

“HEEHEE-HEE—HAA-HA-HAA—HA—HA—H-HEH-HA—

“—

“Ha—

“Hehe—heh—ha—

“—a—a—

“—

”

…

… … … … … … … … … …. ….. …… .…. …. ….. …… ….. …. ….. …… ….. …. ….. …… ….. …

“—little brother—

“—

“—it’s okay—it’s—okay—

“Shhh—shh—sh-sh—”

—

Dick was on the floor, next to Tim, with one arm round the boy’s back, half-lifting him off the floor. Tim’s head hung back, and Jason watched Dick shift his elbow to support it, lift it so Dick could see his face, press his free hand to Tim’s cheek as he spoke—

Jason couldn’t make out the words.

His head was pounding.

“Dick—?” he breathed, squinting, not quite sure he knew what he was seeing, or where he was—

Dick looked around to him, though, pushing Tim’s inquisitive fingers away from his face – his throat – without looking—

He held the kid’s hand tight in his own.

It took him a moment to realise Dick was speaking.

“Are you okay?”

Jason blinked, and nodded distantly when Dick said his name, repeated the question again.

Jason moved, pushing himself to his feet against the cabinet, and clutching at door handles and the edge of the counter like he needed the support. Everything felt foggy, dizzying, and after a moment Jason concluded he must have blacked out at some point—

When Tim had laughed – Jason must have blacked out—

He shook his head fervently, ran a trembling hand through his hair, and took a deep breath.

“Jason,” Dick said, insistently, and Jason looked down at him, still confused about how he’d even gotten there. “Water. For Tim. Please? I can’t let him go.”

Tim was a shaky mess in Dick’s arms, the kid’s hands tucked into his sleeves again, fingers tightly gripping the ends from inside—

He wasn’t laughing anymore.

At least, there wasn’t any sound.

“Right,” Jason mumbled, and pushed off the counter, passing the pair to get to the sink. When he turned about, a full glass in hand, he held it out to Dick expectantly. The older man didn’t so much as reach for it, though.

“Put it here,” he said instead, gesturing the floor with a flick of his head, before shifting his weight. “I need you to hold Tim for me.”

“What?” Jason blanched. “No.”

“Jason,” Dick all but glared at him. “I don’t have time for your crap right now. Tim needs his medicine; if I don’t give it to him right now, he could die. I can’t hold him down and give it to him at the same time, so you – sit the fuck down.”

“O-okay,” Jason dropped to his knees just behind Tim, almost toppling over the glass as he set it on the floor. “Um—”

Dick lifted Tim into a sitting position, scooting closer to Jason and depositing the boy in Jason’s awkwardly held arms with his back to Jason’s chest.

“Just, hold his arms,” Dick instructed, allowing Jason’s hands to take the place of his own. Tim shook, almost struggled at the brief loss of contact and Jason had to tighten his hold. Dick took hold of his wrists and moved him, wrapping Jason’s arms around Tim’s, folding the kid’s across his chest to keep him steady. Tim’s legs kicked out, off to the side, once or twice, before settling into a perpetual twitch. His shoulders still shook with mute laughter.

“Don’t worry,” Dick said, voice quiet – soothing – while he pulled a bottle of pills from the pocket of his jacket and popped the cap. He tipped out two into the palm of his hand, and scooted closer still. “Everything’s going to be alright,” for a moment, Jason thought Dick was speaking to him, but, “Come on, Timmy…”

Dick pressed his hand against the side of Tim’s head, where it had lolled against Jason’s arm, and lifted so he was looking up. Getting a good look at his face now, Jason could see Tim’s eyes were wide open, wider than normal, while his lips spread into a big, unwavering grin.

It was all Jason could do not to lean back, distancing himself from that horrible expression – or gag altogether at the sight.

“Hold tight,” Dick spared Jason a warning glance, before he tipped one of the pills down Tim’s open mouth. At once Tim was thrashing, body trying to twist this way and that, only unsuccessful because Jason held him fast. He was shaking his head at the same time, and Jason was afraid he might sprain his neck with the force of it—

Dick had a fist in Tim’s hair not a moment later, however, and the glass in his free hand. “Come on, Tim,” he almost sounded like he was scolding the boy, as he put the edge of the glass to Tim’s tight bottom lip. “You have to swallow. You’ll feel better when you do, trust me—”

Tim’s response was some unintelligible sound, deep in the back of his throat, and if he tried shaking his head again, it was useless against Dick’s firm grasp.

Tim’s heart was a hellish drumbeat against Jason’s own, thudding too quickly.

Dick tipped the glass, spilling clear liquid into Tim’s gaping mouth, even as he held the boy more firmly by the hair, dissuading any physical protest—

Tim gargled the water—

His eyes held less mirth and more panic—

Jason was taking deep, anxious breaths, his fingers digging into Tim’s arms—

“Dick—!” he exclaimed, a fretful lilt to his brother’s name, when Dick clamped his free hand – glass set roughly aside – across Tim’s slipping grin, thumb and forefinger simultaneously holding his nose—

But Dick ignored him, fervently – desperately – whispering, “Swallow, dammit—”

It wasn’t long before Tim did, unable not to, and Dick let him go, only to come back with the second pill, repeating the process—

Finally, with an exhausted sigh, Dick leaned back on his hands, shoulders slumping with relief even as he kept a vigil eye on Tim’s expression – looking for the tell-tale signs that his medicine was starting to take effect.

Tim had already stopped thrashing, as if he’d decided the effort no longer mattered, since he’d swallowed the pills – or like his body just wasn’t up for the extended exertion anymore. Tim had been convulsing on the floor, seemingly endlessly, when Dick found him—

Absently, Dick shook his head, not wanting to relive the memory—

He watched Tim’s eyelids slowly start drooping, his posture sagging, arms relaxing in Jason’s hold, fingers slack in their sleeves—

“Dick,” Jason said, sounding distressed—

Dick jolted upright, immediately pressing his fingers to Tim’s pulse, cradling his head in one hand, “What?” he looked to Jason and back again, Tim’s pulse a steady thump against his fingers.

Jason’s shoulders stiffened, “Is…” he hesitated, glancing down at Tim’s near-serene expression, sounding unsure. “Is he…alright?” he asked quietly.

Dick sighed, a small smile crossing his lips at Jason’s genuine concern, “Yeah,” he replied, sitting back. “It’s just the pills taking effect. He’ll be fine, now…” Dick brushed his fingers through Tim’s lengthy black hair, pushing them sideways across his sweaty forehead.

“Oh…” Jason said, posture noticeably relaxing, even though his hold on Tim didn’t slacken, eyes on the youngest between them, and, with his head bowed thus, long curls hiding his face. The smile slipped from Dick’s expression, hand retreating to settle fisted on his thigh, less he run his fingers through Jason’s locks as well.

He was sorely tempted to – a vague memory, fleetingly surfacing, of him having done that long after the two of them had met, too long after Dick had officially passed on Robin’s colours to his newly acquired little brother – not replacement. Late one night – or, rather, early one morning – Jason drooling on the couch’s armrest, having fallen asleep halfway through their movie, and, just watching the kid like that after having spent most of the day and a fair portion of patrol with him, Dick had been filled with a sense of warmth and responsibility. He’d wanted to scoop Jason up and hold him close for a bit – overwhelmed by a yearning to protect he’d never thought he’d ever have the opportunity to feel. A big-brotherness he hadn’t known he’d wanted. He’d settled for combing back Jason’s hair affectionately, though, and shaking the kid by the shoulder to wake up.

It had been one of a few occasions – so few in fact, Dick thought he barely needed both hands to count them all – they’d spent any time together; that was a good time, void of the pressure to impress or approve, the tension created by their other identities and what they meant to Batman, not to mention Batman himself, or Dick and Bruce’s quickly spiralling tolerance for each other at any given moment.

Dick dropped his gaze, accosted again by a fierce disappointment in himself for the way he’d let Jason down. He should have made sure there had been more of those moments. He’d certainly had plenty with Tim, even though it had taken him a lot of time to get to the point where he could. Jason’s death had been such a gaping wound, and Tim had been an insistent stranger. He’d treated him badly, too, at first.

“I’m sorry,” Dick said, and, it must have seemed abrupt, if the way Jason’s head came up was any indication – just enough for Dick to make out the colour of his eyes, the intensity of his stare. The furrow to his brow was deep, expression caught somewhere between confusion, and suspicion – as if Dick was about to tell him something…

…something he already should have—

“For not checking on you first,” Dick elaborated, before Jason could ask him what for, because, his intention hadn’t been to be vague, or to drag this out. There was genuine regret in the apology – because, the way Jason had looked when he’d come in—but – but he’d also said it, feeling the need for an appropriate segue. He didn’t want to just barrel through the doorway on this. “You weren’t listening to me…barely moving, even, just—”

Dick watched Jason’s expression closely as he spoke; the younger man’s stare only getting harder—

“Anyway, Tim was already—” Dick switched tracks, gesturing vaguely at their younger brother. “I had to do something, before it was too late…”

Jason nodded, and looked away – not back at Tim, but…into the depths of his apartment instead, down the hallway to Dick’s left, past his shoulder to the living room – eyes briefly narrowing when, Dick guessed, he saw the door – and toward the small kitchen space, finally.

Dick turned his head to look, as well, taking in Jason’s crushed bottle of milk, scattered cans and other groceries all strewn haphazardly across the floor, with greater concern.

“What happened, Jay?” he asked quietly, and watched Jason swallow. “Did you fight?” he asked plainly, voice hard, when Jason didn’t answer immediately. Dick wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking – if he was assuming the worst of Jason—

“No,” Jason replied, though, serious – adamant, incredulous – meeting Dick’s eyes – his own, bright green—and Dick—

—only felt the stiffness in his fingers, how tight he’d been holding them, when they relaxed – relieved.

“Okay,” Dick said at once, “So – what happened?” he repeated, eager to steer the conversation away from the accusation he knew Jason had heard, behind his previous question.

Jason’s lips thinned. He glanced at Tim, not knowing how honest he needed to be with Dick right now. “We had a conversation,” he decided on, and then rushed forward realising he didn’t want to rehash the details of that “conversation” – or the one Tim had actually come over to have, either. “And Tim, he was—saying some things, when, all of a sudden he just—” letting go of one wrist, Jason waved a hand through the air in gesture – taking in Tim’s current state, the space they occupied, the two feet of kitchen flooded with milk—

Jason clasped Tim’s wrist again, firmly, as his breath stuttered and his head bowed lower – he felt sick. He should have—“I should have done something,” he mumbled, and shut his eyes tight as if that could cover the shame he felt, because—“I just,” all he could see was Tim, thrashing and laughing behind his eyelids—“I was here, with him, one moment, and the next—you were here, and I—” he couldn’t quite look at Dick even as his head came up, eyes opened, wide with realisation, before he looked away again at once – not directly at Tim either—at his own hands against the dark grey of Tim’s hoodie—“It’s my fault—” he breathed.

“Hey, no,” was Dick’s immediate response, unsurprisingly to Jason, who shook his head in reply and cut Dick off even as his older brother’s hands came down on his shoulders, his arms, for comfort—

“You said – Tim could have…died, without his medicine,” Jason said, feeling the weight of the words hang heavy over his head. And here, he finally looked at Dick, “I wasn’t helping him – I had no idea what to do—I-I didn’t even try!” he implored, feeling the heat of embarrassment and shame, and self-loathing, and disappointment creeping from the centre of his chest all the way up his neck – touching his cheeks, his ears—

“Little Wing,” Dick’s tone was equally as insistent, but he didn’t get much further—

Jason shook his head fervently, “He could have died, Dick, while I was sitting around not doing a damned thing—”

“That’s enough!” Dick snapped, fingers tightening on Jason’s shoulders as he stared the younger man down.

Jason faltered, mouth agape, but no retort forthcoming, while his insides felt cold and the air not enough in his lungs—

He blinked. “I’m sorry…” he whispered, eyes lowering from Dick’s intense gaze, shoulders slumping—

He realised—he was clutching at Tim. Feeling the rise and fall of the younger man’s chest, feeling his own chest stretched against his back – tightly pressed against Jason as he held him firmly caged in his arms—

If Jason hadn’t…blacked out – might he have been able to coax Tim out of his manic attack? Maybe if he’d tried harder? Maybe if that obscene Joker-esque laugh didn’t have such a damning effect on his insides? Maybe if Tim hadn’t said—

—

Jason back-pedalled fast, not wanting to think about that, again.

If it weren’t for Dick showing up out of apparently nowhere, Tim might have died on his dirty kitchen floor while Jason sat three feet away none the wiser.

Trying so hard to find him, rescue him from the Joker, would have all been for nought.

And Dick…how would he have explained that to Dick, and Cassandra—and Alfred?

Tim died in my apartment, while I was having a mental-breakdown; sorry I couldn’t save him. Tough luck, Big Bird.

“No,” Dick said, sincerely, squeezing Jason’s shoulder – daring to press his palm to his little brother’s cheek—

Jason blinked, and stared, and swallowed – carefully shifting away from Dick’s touch—

Dick smiled a small smile nevertheless, “We’re assuming,” Dick began to explain, hand hovering a moment longer before he carefully retreated tight fists back to his thighs. “More than anything, that…this thing Tim has,” he looked at his once-again youngest brother, the peaceful expression on his face… “could, potentially, kill him, if left untreated for too long. Only because, Joker’s Venom is commonly known to do that. Victims start laughing, and laughing, and laughing until they literally bust an organ, or, barring that, they go insane – hallucinating, doing crazy things, attacking people, exhausting themselves until their bodies are too weary and strained to keep functioning at all.

“All of which you know,” he added, waving a hand. “But…what the Joker did to Tim,” Dick continued, carefully glancing at Jason’s reaction to those words, remembering how his younger brother had protested – not wanting to know the details of Joker’s actions, before. Jason visibly flinched, if only slightly, but made no objection when Dick carried on, “It’s different than anything we’ve seen before. We’ve been able to keep it at bay for long periods of time, with this ‘medication,’ but even so…it’s pretty much experimental, at best…potentially damaging, at worst – we don’t even know.

“There’s hardly any real way to gauge it,” he sighed, shoulders slumping. “It acts a little bit like a kind of infection. Or, maybe an allergen, even. The medication staves it off for a somewhat arbitrary amount of time. It always comes back on its own, regardless of how regularly Tim takes his medication,” Dick put a hand on Tim’s wrist, just beside Jason’s hand. He gave the younger man a brief smile, “Let me just—” Jason half let go, allowing Dick to uncross Tim’s arms so he could rifle through the boy’s pockets.

When the front pair yielded nothing, Dick reached into Tim’s still-unzipped hoodie to feel at apparent inside pockets – producing a white plastic pill-bag a second later.

“But,” he continued, as he opened the baggie. “He does have a relatively set schedule, and he’s supposed to always have some on him,” Dick had shook out the bag above one open palm, but, as he already suspected, nothing fell out. He sighed. “He should know better than this. He should have refilled it before leaving the house!” Dick snapped at no-one, even though he was looking at Tim.

He looked more disappointed than angry, however.

And then, he just looked crushed. “There’s always a chance it will hit him out of nowhere. There are…triggers that make it act up again. It’s hard to predict exactly what those triggers will be at any given moment��”

“I should’ve known,” Jason said, though it sounded like he was speaking more to himself than trying to cut into Dick’s little monologue. Dick frowned at him, watched him carefully as he carried on, still not talking to Dick directly, “The way our conversation was going… If I had known about—this thing,” he griped, for lack of a more precise term, “If I had just asked – or—or let one of you tell me – what the Joker did—” he all but whispered, “—maybe I could’ve stopped him, from—” he didn’t know how to even describe it, so he just didn’t. Stopped speaking, knowing Dick knew what he meant.

And, Dick did know, but—

“I don’t know…” Jason mumbled; tone quiet – defeated.

“None of us wanted that of you, Jay,” Dick said gently. “We know how hard having anything to do with the Joker must—must have been for you. Must be for you, even now. It was hard for us to hear what had happened to Tim – when he finally told us himself. I can’t imagine what you’d feel if you’d have had to listen to that,” Dick shook his head, forlorn. “Considering everything the Joker did to you, too, and everything that came after, after you were back…” he bit his lip, “I could probably not have told you, even if you’d asked…”

“Still,” Jason said, at length, still refusing to excuse himself it seemed. “The fact is I didn’t ask. And I should have.”

Dick pinched Tim’s empty pill-bag between his fingers, pressed tight, and didn’t know what to say without losing his temper – at Jason’s self-deprecating attitude; Dick just didn’t want to have to deal with it anymore right then.

“I was scared…” Dick confessed, after a beat. “That, maybe this time…” the air felt heavy between them. “This time it’d be too bad. I’d be too late. And…we’d lose Tim. To Joker, like we lost you,” he said, blunt and harsh, and looking up at Jason’s face – but of course the younger man wasn’t looking at him. “I might have been over-exaggerating, though…just a bit,” he added, more kindly. “I mean – the worst case, we can only assume…is death, but… There’s no way of knowing, I guess? Not until after it’s too late.”

It was quiet, then. Neither brother able to look at the other, or break the silence for a long, painful minute—

—as the minutes between them often seemed to be.

“You had enough reason to believe it would, though—kill him,” Jason spoke quietly. “And if it had, I—I don’t know what I would have done… How I would have lived with myself – with any of you,” he admitted, and felt the truth of it deep in the marrow of his bones. He’d already caused them so much grief, agony, and pain with what he’d done with Damian – and worse, he couldn’t begin to regret his actions in that regard, but—Tim.

This. Would have been so much worse. Tim could have been dead, and it would really have been Jason’s fault.

His coming back had been a fluke at best.

There was no guarantee like that for any of them anymore.

“But he didn’t,” Dick whispered.

“Only thanks to you – breaking down my door,” Jason replied, peeved only half-heartedly, as he looked beyond Dick’s shoulder. The chain had been the only thing keeping the door locked before. It was snapped now, the door left ajar, and Jason could only assume Dick had kicked it open, chain be damned, and rushed in without any regard for potentially curious neighbours appearing.

To his great relief, none of them had as of yet. This time of day, they weren’t generally at home, after all, but – one could hardly ever be too careful.

—there’s that infamous Bat-paranoia at work.

“Yeah…” Dick said, sheepish. “Sorry about that.”

“How did you even know where to find us?” Jason asked, genuinely perplexed.

“I pinged Tim’s phone the moment it came on,” Dick explained, and Jason nodded knowingly – apparently, the kid had been telling the truth about that, then, “It was only for a second, though,” or, at least, mostly, “But it was enough to get me an address. I rushed over right away. I had no idea I was going to find you here. I didn’t know what I was going to find here.”

“You told Alfred where you were going, didn’t you?” Jason asked, bemused.

“Of course,” Dick replied, curiosity colouring his tone as he picked up on Jason’s own.

“Didn’t he recognize the address?” Jason questioned, and Dick blinked, not bothering to hide any surprise.

“No. Should he have?”

“I…don’t know,” Jason said, eyes on the top of Tim’s head, expression calculating. “Tim said Alfred told him where I was; that’s how he found me.”

“He’d have told me, then,” Dick said confidently, and then, after a beat, “Timmy must have…”

“Lied,” Jason supplied, if quietly.

Dick pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes on Tim, but he made no reply.

Jason snorted, “I guess he’s not the perfect little replacement, after all…”

“He was never your replacement, Jason,” Dick said, pointed and exasperated – because this was not the first time someone had tried to explain this to Jason.

Jason gave his brother a dry, uncaring look, though, ignoring Dick’s tone. “Sure.” He added quickly, just as Dick had drawn a breath to retort, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Dick huffed, annoyed, “Well, that’s typical,” he rolled his eyes.

“Excuse me?” Jason challenged.

“If you don’t want to discuss it, you shouldn’t have brought it up,” Dick said.

“I was only saying—” Jason started, but cut himself off, irately swiping a hand through the air, “You know what – never mind. I got replaced; it’s my prerogative to bring it up. And end the discussion about it.”

“Not that there’s been a discussion, yet,” Dick mumbled, though not quietly enough.

“I think you should take your little bird,” Jason said, almost abrupt with the calmness of his tone. “And leave.”

“Jason—

“I’m sorry,” Dick implored, genuine despite his obvious frustration. He heaved a heavy sigh, shoulders drooping. He was feeling—

Confused. And a little hurt, somehow. Maybe for Tim’s benefit? But – how could Jason still think of Tim as his replacement? Was this what Jason had meant – when he’d said nothing had changed after his conversation with Bruce?

“But,” Dick added, and braced himself, “‘My little bird’ came all the way here without telling me, or Cass, or Alfred,” Jason very carefully didn’t wince at the absence of Bruce’s name on that list, “and without his medication – when he knows how much he needs it,” he paused. “Why is that? What was he doing here, exactly?”

Jason stuck his tongue in his cheek, contemplating.

“If you don’t want to talk about anything else, that’s fine,” Dick goaded. “But I’m not going anywhere until you tell me this.”

“You can just ask him yourself, you know,” Jason sniped. “In between the lecture, when he wakes up.”

Dick scowled. “No. You tell me. I’m asking you.”

…

Finally, Jason gave in to Dick’s hard stare – if only partially, “He wanted… to tell me something… important,” Jason was gauging Dick’s reaction, if he were honest. Part of him wanted to bait Dick into confessing it – was already trying to. Because – how long had Bruce been dead? And, it wasn’t Dick – desperate-to-have-him-for-a-little-brother-Dick – at his door with the news? If Tim in his addled state could find Jason, he was certain Dick, all his eggs accounted for, could have, too. Then why hadn’t Jason heard it earlier? From Dick himself? He’d had opportunity, dammit—

“And…” Dick started, but there was hesitation in his tone. Of course Dick knew exactly what Tim was doing here. He’d been arguing with his little brother all week over letting Jason know about—

And.

Tim had not agreed with Dick putting it off for as long as he was doing. When they’d realised Tim had left the manor without telling anyone or leaving some kind of note or indication as to where he was going – Dick had known he might have gone looking for Jason. Of course. He just hadn’t been expecting Tim to actually find Jason.

“Did he?” Dick swallowed thickly, and tried looking more relaxed than he felt. If Tim’s condition when he’d come in was any indication – that was exactly the kind of news that might have triggered so severe an attack. Not to mention Jason’s own state—“Did he tell you—the important thing?” it came out so much quieter than what Dick had thought it would. And he realised, he was losing his nerve. What if the answer was yes—?

What if it was—?

“No,” Jason said, too quick and too abrupt and too final for it to be true—

“Who’s the liar, now?”

Jason started – as did Dick – at Tim suddenly interjecting. Jason could feel his face flush at the lie, besides, and his fingers tighten their hold on Tim involuntarily – less as a threat to the kid, and more as a means of anchoring himself.

“Tim!” Dick exclaimed, and had his hands on the side of the younger man’s face at once.

Tim’s eyes were open, and blue, and on Jason’s face, and knowing – the curve of his lips almost smug and testing, and challenging – but thankfully Tim, not—something else—

—someone—

“I’m fine,” Tim directed at Dick, who still pushed his hair back, and felt at his forehead, at his pulse. “Ease up, will you,” Tim said, as he started shifting, and both Dick and Jason let him go, sitting back.

Tim came upright with a sigh, rubbing at the back of his neck with both hands. Jason watched his fingertips come free of their sleeves to press at his skin there and he swallowed, resisting the urge to feel at his own neck, where Tim had dug in and held on with those same fingers.

Everything had happened so quickly after Tim had tried strangling him – and now he was sitting there like nothing had.

Jason scowled.

“Why is this empty?” Dick’s tone was scolding, and, looking over Tim’s shoulder, Jason could see he had the pill-bag up, shaking it in front of Tim’s face in exactly the manner Jason had thought he’d do.

Jason saw Tim’s shoulders stiffen.

“I just forgot,” he said, quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“You know better,” Dick continued. Tim must have pulled a face, Jason figured, because Dick clamped a hand on the younger man’s shoulder and gave him an intense look, saying, “Tim. This is serious.”

“Yes. Fine. I got it,” Tim scathed, to Jason’s surprise, and shrugged Dick’s hand off even as he got to his feet. “I’ll do better next time, okay?”

“Tim,” Dick said again, somewhere between aggravation and defeat, as he stood.

Jason followed suit, but tugged Tim by the shoulder once he was up, to turn the younger man halfway in his direction. “I told you he’d be worried,” Jason said, almost smugly. Tim gave him a dry, unimpressed look, to which Jason shrugged.

With a huff, Dick caught Tim by the arm, “Come on. We’ve overstayed our welcome. Let’s go home.”

Tim forced his arm free, however, and looked at Dick incredulously, “You’re kidding, right?”

“Tim,” Dick half-hissed, expression warning.

“Yeah. Get out,” Jason said, waving a hand as if to shoo them.

Tim turned to scowl at him before facing Dick again. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Dick was being an absolute dick. “We’re not leaving until you tell him.”

Jason stiffened, knowing full-well what Tim was referring to, and assumed he must be thinking Jason hadn’t heard him the first time, or hadn’t taken him seriously. By the look Dick was giving Tim, though, Jason concluded his hunch was correct – Dick was trying to hide it from Jason. He didn’t want him to know Bruce was dead.

Dick all but confirmed it in the next moment, catching Tim securely by the arm and lowering his voice, gaze intent and fixed on Tim, but Jason still heard, “Not right now.”

It stung, and the pain was a new kind of hurt Jason had no desire to keep on feeling. It made his stomach turn.

“Tell him, Dick,” Tim kept his tone level, but didn’t lower his voice any, unconcerned about Jason hearing. “Or I will.”

“Look, whatever it is,” Jason cut in, turning their attention to him. He swallowed uncomfortably, “I don’t even care – just go.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Tim dismissed, at the same time Dick tugged uselessly at his arm—

“Come on—”

Completely ignoring Dick, eyes boring into Jason’s, determined expression on the kid’s face; Tim visibly gulped in a brief breath before he started, “Jason, Bruce is—”

“Don’t say it again,” Jason snapped, panic rippling through his limbs and propelling his arm up, hand all but slapping Tim’s mouth shut—

Tim recoiled, backing up into Dick, who caught him by the arms to steady him – both of them staring wide-eyed at Jason—

He’d only just panicked, just cut Tim off, when his stomach churned, and he could feel every morsel he’d had for breakfast and been munching on since, shooting back up his oesophagus—

He spun to hunch over the sink, vomiting all over his unwashed dishes with a violent shudder.

“Jason—” Dick was next to him in a second, hovering with his hands raised uncertainly.

Jason gagged a second time, shoulders hunching, arms and hands and fingers feeling like their bones were vibrating. He breathed, bottom lip trembling, and the inside of his mouth watering, a trail of spittle dangling into the sink.

“I’m so sorry,” Dick whispered by his side, finally letting his hand drop to Jason’s back, rubbing soothing circles the way he’d been doing for Tim – Tim who’d hunched his shoulders and looked away the moment Jason turned to vomit. He’d looked back by now, though, Dick saw when he looked over at their youngest brother – to scowl at him. He was furious with Tim, he realised – for leaving the manor without a word and putting himself in danger, only to come over to Jason’s – and how the hell did he even know where Jason lived?! – and tell him the thing Dick had thought they’d agreed to hold off on. Until Dick could find Jason again, anyway. The Red Hood hadn’t disappeared from Gotham altogether, but rumour was he was on a very particular case that was taking up all of his time. It was hush-hush and he was scarce. Dick had tried the safe-house Alfred had known about the past couple of nights, and a few others he’d unearthed over the course of the year, but none of them had given him a clue. He’d left Jason notes, and they’d been left unanswered so far. Probably Jason hadn’t even found them yet.

All the while, Dick had been trying to deal with his own mounting grief after Bruce’s passing – while trying to comfort Cass and Tim both, and keeping his chin up for Alfred, and—

And he’d had no idea what Jason’s reaction would have been. He just…needed a little more time.

Tim…

Well, Dick didn’t know what the hell Tim had been thinking.

Could hardly determine his expression at present, for that matter. He was unfazed by the scowl, returning Dick’s gaze with a level expression of his own. “He deserves to know,” Tim said simply.

Dick only looked at him harder, free hand fisting, “I’m not arguing over that,” he said tightly. “But there was no need to do it like this. Right now.”

Tim returned his scowl, before crossing his arms and looking away. Dick rolled his eyes.

“Hand me that,” he said shortly, gesturing the glass on the floor. Tim scooped to obey, and Dick emptied the glass in the other side of the sink, refilling it with cool water.

Jason had heard what they’d been saying, of course, and he’d listened without a word. Partly because he was feeling shaky and sick, and a headache was slowly making itself known. He’d pressed his palm against his forehead, other hand on the counter by the sink, and closed his eyes once it felt like he wouldn’t throw up anything more.

“Here,” Dick said gently, touching at his raised arm to get his attention.

Jason turned enough to take the glass, sipping slowly. He rubbed the back of his hand across his mouth, all the while keeping his head ducked, while Dick looked around for a hand towel. Jason took it to wipe his mouth with after he’d set down the glass, then handed it back to Dick to hang up neatly where he’d found it.

Jason turned his head to regard Tim, scowling at a wall.

“You’re a real piece of work, kid,” he said.

“I got it from you,” Tim replied, easy and flippant.

“Cute,” Jason said crossly, scowling. “But flattery won’t help you here.”

Tim snorted, opened his mouth like he meant to retort, but Dick cut in, hands raised between them—

“Okay, stop.”

Tim shut his mouth, but glared at Jason, who glared right back before he looked away with a groan.

Not ten minutes ago he’d been frickin’ cradling Tim in his damn arms, scared—

—

—shit—

—

—scared that the younger man might be dead any second, and now here he was, thoroughly annoyed at him and his smartass mouth.

Jason swallowed thickly, the sour taste of vomit no less present for the water he’d drunk, and the unpleasantness of it a suitable punishment for his present attitude.

He felt guilty again.

But no less pissed.

“…Don’t get me started on you, Dickie,” Jason said, somewhat belatedly.

Dick dropped his hands, and, to his credit, didn’t pretend at ignorance, “Jason, I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve been meaning to tell you. It’s not like I have your number,” he added in a mumble, spiking Jason’s annoyance, because that what a shitty excuse.

“You saw me Monday morning. By the docks,” Jason accused, meeting Dick’s eyes with a twisted expression he couldn’t manage to keep off his face, but – his older brother just watched him vomit into a sink; there was hardly any justification left for hiding things now.

“Yeah. I saw you,” Dick said evenly, but his fingers were flexing and his shoulders were too straight. “All suited up, just sitting on a roof, keeping an eye,” he faltered, glancing away, swallowing. “You looked busy, though. I didn’t want to—interrupt—”

It was a testament to his discomfort that Dick wasn’t gesturing with his hands or stepping further into Jason’s space as he tried, only half-heartedly, to justify—

The man felt guilty as sin; Jason could see it all over his face, and Jason—

It was satisfying, dammit.

“Oh! The old ‘you were busy’-excuse. I love that one,” Jason said, attempting false humour, exaggerated sarcasm – something – and sounding only bitter.

“Jason—”

“How long, Dick?” Jason spat, dropping the attitude for all the aching desperation he felt curdling beneath the surface, even as he wasn’t sure it was more out of seriousness and less out of spite. Dick had practically frozen at the question, his blue eyes widening just a fraction – Jason noticed because he’d been looking for it. Tim, in his peripheral, had his own blue eyes fixed on Jason, having gone just as still.

“How long has he been dead, Dick?” Jason demanded, when the older man didn’t immediately answer.

“…It happened Sunday,” Dick’s voice was no louder than a whisper. “Sunday morning.”

The next moment Jason was heaving, eyes on the floor, where, apparently, he’d shattered the glass of water Dick had handed him before. He’d reached back, searching for the edge of the counter and gripping it with a steadying hand—

It was too soon—

—

—he’d wanted more time. He’d wanted to go back to—

—one of his many not-mothers—

—to ask her again – beg if he needed to—

Bruce couldn’t.

Jason couldn’t.

—but she’d told him “no,” and explained again, and Jason had left feeling—

Abandoned.

And betrayed.

And stupid.

But still desperate.

Still vaguely determined.

He’d meant to try again—he knew – he knew – what he’d been asking; the consequences of it – having gone through it himself, after all, but—

He hadn’t cared at the time.

He’d have agreed to do almost anything if she’d only said—

Yes.

—

It was too late, now.

“Jay…” Dick spoke, careful, and when Jason looked at him, he saw Tim at his side – shoulders hunched, looking small – and Dick’s hand loose around his wrist—

Jason looked back to the glass on the floor – to Tim – and back again – to where Tim had been standing—

“I’m sorry,” he blurted.

“Okay,” came the reply, and, Jason was startled to find, it had come from Tim instead of Dick, sounding perfectly amenable.

They stared at each other for several quiet seconds; Dick shifting his weight from one foot to another as the silence mounted.

“It’s Thursday,” Jason breathed, when the tail-end of their conversation suddenly came back to him. Eyes on Dick, he scowled.

“I know,” his older brother agreed.

“Were you just going to keep this from me?” Jason asked, surprising even himself with how despondent and broken he sounded. He didn’t know if he meant what he asked, or if it was the spite in his gut blindly accusing—

“No—”

“You saw me Monday—I was one building away!” Jason sounded to himself like he was pleading.

Dick had let go of Tim – who’d crossed his arms tightly over his chest, fingers hidden inside sleeves – raised his hands, but didn’t move them, “It was—” he griped, a burn at the back of his throat, “—still too fresh, for me—”

“Always about you—” Jason waved a hand, dismissive.

“I didn’t know how to tell you then!” Dick slammed one fisted hand onto the counter beside them. Tim jumped. “And yes, I didn’t want to,” he continued, heatedly, shooting a brief, accusatory glance at Tim. “I didn’t want to tell you out in the dark,” Dick came forward, too quick, words biting, “and the cold, wearing masks and using codenames—we’re a family!” despite having seen it coming, and trying to move, to back off, to avoid – Dick still managed grabbing Jason by his sweater. He held him there, pinned with his back against the counter, Dick’s forearms solid against Jason’s chest, and it was all Jason could do not to slip across the tiles and sink to the floor. He clutched at the lip of the counter, watched Dickie’s expression.

“I looked for you after,” Dick’s lashes were wet, “I checked your safe houses; I tried to find you,” his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I wanted to tell you – of course you deserve to know,” his tone held a modicum of resentment – towards Jason, towards Tim, for them thinking otherwise of him, but Dick couldn’t care less whether they realised that or not, just then. “I just didn’t know how you would react,” he shook his head, breaking his eye-contact with Jason, “and I wanted you safe,” the words came a little slower, a little quieter, but no less urgently, “and home—” and then his voice cracked, and Dick swallowed a breathy sob, his head falling forward, forehead touching his hands still holding tight to the fabric of his little brother’s clothing. “…when I did…”

…

Jason couldn’t calm the beat of his pulse, even though the knowledge that Dick could feel it made him nervous. Dick’s shoulders weren’t shaking. He didn’t sound like he was crying. Somehow that made it worse.

Jason let his head fall back. Blinked at the ceiling. He breathed in a shuddering breath, unable to suppress it, and Dick stayed, moving with his heaving chest.

“I’m so sorry…” Dick whispered.

“Dick…” Tim started, quietly, arms no longer stiff, posture less rigid and reserved. Coming closer, he lifted a hand to Dick’s shoulder, but didn’t make it all the way there, left his hand hanging in the air instead. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You never…you didn’t,” Jason watched as the kid swallowed, looked away, and, for the first time he looked like he was feeling the weighty consequences of his actions. “This is my fault…” he whispered.

With a sniff, Dick came upright, swallowing as his gaze met Jason’s – shiny, clear tear-tracks ran down his cheeks, making Jason’s breath hitch.

“No, Tim,” Dick said, wiping his face with the palms of both hands before facing him. Jason didn’t move even though he was let go. “You were right. We should have been here sooner.”

Tim didn’t say anything until Dick offered a small smile and Jason straightened himself out. “Okay,” came Tim’s eloquent reply.

“Well, you’ve said your piece,” the room felt suffocating, now that the adrenalin had faded and the heat ebbed. Jason couldn’t even feel angry at Dick anymore, after that display. Perhaps it truly had been nothing but spite egging him on before.

“Saturday,” Dick cut off, without looking back at him, needing to say this before they got kicked out. “The funeral, you should come—”

Jason grabbed him by the lapel of his jacket, shaking roughly; snarling, “Get out.”

“Not until you promise,” Dick countered, clasping Jason’s wrist and meeting his gaze almost fearlessly.

Jason glared, said, slowly and deliberately, “No.”

“He’s your father,” Dick said, maintaining his calm despite the turn of his mouth, the furrow of his brow, or the red rimming his eyes. The expression was jarring to Jason, but he made himself keep looking anyway.

“Don’t you dare,” Dick threatened, holding tighter, before Jason could reply – afraid he might repeat the “no.” “Of course he is.” A beat. “Was,” he amended quietly. “And I want you to be there. Tim wants you there. Cass, too. And Alfred,” Dick said like that was the clincher. “Please.”

Jason’s mouth felt thick like cotton, his throat sore and his stomach twisting, tongue heavy as lead—

“We need you there, too, Jay,” Dick kept whispering.

“Don’t reject him out of hand. He needs—”

“You’re part of the family—”

“—he needs his…his…little brother—s.”

“Please. Leave,” Jason said, when he could finally speak again, and let go of Dick’s jacket. His wrist slipped right out of Dick’s hand to fall to his side.

“Come on…” it was Tim’s voice, quiet, and in the corner of his vision – Jason having dropped his gaze to the floor – he could see Tim tugging Dick away by the arm. “…He needs some time, Dick…”

…

Distantly, he heard the door shut.

…

Jason was only half-aware of himself as he walked – weary and heart sore – to the couch – shoving the coffee table aside with his foot, almost violently, rather than circling it—

—where he flopped down face first into the pillows. Crying.

#jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #insert writing tag here #monday's fic is fair of face #mind the warnings (in the summary)#vomiting in this chapter; if you don't like that kinda thing #tell me if I need to tag something specific #not just in this chapter either #(did I say I liked chapter 11?#because I kinda like 12 too; just the *way* I wrote it #like; where the heck did I learn to have this way with words?#I can't write like this anymore I don't think #but I dig it)

15 notes · View notes

bentchcreates · 7 years ago

Photo

#FeelsSoProm - January 27, 2018

So, it’s been a month since Prom happened. Heehee. And I want to formally and officially say I’ve had enough time to process my feelings by posting a blog about it. It’s been awhile since I’ve rambled in this site anyway. *This is also your lowkey warning that this is gonna be a long-ass post.*

Cue Maria and the children: “Let’s start at the very beginning!”

Getting There

This might be mundane information for you, but getting to Commune that night was quite monumental for me. XD See, I’ve never driven to Manila on my own. I sound very pretentious and sheltered when I say that, but it’s the cringe-y truth: I always had a chaperone when I drive for more than 100 Kilometers.

I didn’t even realize I had been doing it until that night, when I didn’t have my sisters or even just one other person on the passenger seat to ask to open Waze for me. But that night everyone was occupied and it was impractical to not drive to Makati especially since I know we would not be done by 11pm.

So I went alone, punched my destination on the app before the trip and enjoyed the British robot voice that told me to keep right or go straight ahead in EDSA. My anxiety spiked so high, but I pretended I was Ironman (super smart and rich, lol) and JARVIS was navigating me through the seemingly circular one-way streets of Makati. I also had Adele’s 21 playing on endless loop. The CD’s been stuck on the car’s CD player for close to three years now, but I’m not complaining.

And I did it! I reached Commune in one piece (even though It took me close to an hour to find a parking space! Haha!) I was so proud of myself.

Prom, and What Happened There

This was my fourth #romanceclass event so I knew a little bit of how things worked - how to prepare for things and all that - but the thing with these events is that everything is new and it’s always better than the last one.

The Prom theme was an idea in the community that, as per usual, just popped out of nowhere and organically grew into reality. HS Prom wasn’t great for everyone, or just wasn’t there at all for some, and this was a chance to retcon awful memories with wonderful ones.

Getting fancy and all dolled up wasn’t a requirement, but in the days leading up to Prom, people were posting dress options and accessories and instead of feeling sick to my stomach in dread like my actual proms, I was very excited to see everyone in gowns and dresses, suits and slacks. I wanted to attend in a three-piece lavender or turquoise formal wear, but haha, my wallet dictated that I rummage through storage boxes for old clothes and by the MIRACLE of Christmas in January, I still fit in my favorite pink polo and gray jacket. (Let’s not talk about the pants.) I washed them three times, once for every year it hasn’t seen the light of day, tbh.

So anyway, I get there and I am welcomed by friends who are suddenly gorgeous and fierce and oh so stunning! Track the #FeelsSoProm posts everywhere and you’ll see me posing a lot with these beauties. I was also kind of feeling my look that night, so yeah, I’ve got a lot of photos with my face in there. Haha. All around me were princesses, queens! And I couldn’t help but think “omg, I’m friends with royalty!” Haha. The stage was decorated with balloon letters and DIY flowers and it was adorable!

The usual selling table was also filled with our books and while I already felt super happy seeing Summer Feels among them, seeing Start Here for the very first time was glorious!

The order of business was the live-readings of steamy scenes. I’ve done this before, mid-year last year, and oh my god, it was So.Hot. (I haven’t posted a blog post about that bec idk, I still can’t words, tbh) This time I was more relaxed probably because I’ve spent more time with my friends in real-life at this point (as opposed to just social media previously) and because there was another thing keeping me distracted. Haha. More on that later.

The list of the readings were announced a few weeks earlier so we kind of knew what we were in for, but the sequence of the readings, as well as the actors who’ll read them weren’t given directly. It was a nice “surprise” to not expect what was next until Mina’s introductions.

I will not pretend to remember everything that have happened in the readings except that Salve and Migs were their usual awesome. I had to remember they weren’t in their teens anymore since they usually read the YA stuff but heh, that night, YA was practically banned. The read The Duke Takes a Bride by Suzette de Borja and I wanted to take off my jacket bec of the heat! LOL.

It was my first time to hear Jef and Gab read live, they’ve been away for a while...and that’s why they had to read the longest part (Submission Moves by Camilla Sisco). Gab’s dress was stunning and Jef, well, let’s just say lemons had such a massive effect on everyone, the author (who wasn’t even there!) rereleased the ebook on Amazon with a fresher citrusy cover. XD

Sam (flawless eyeliner among other flawless things!) and Migs(spiffy af) read Better Weddings Than You by Mina V. Esguerra and it’s the backrub scene, my favorite! The sexual tension in the book was one thing, but the live-read version was something else! #GaHoates didn’t kiss that night (thank god! I’m still recovering from so much happiness last time!) but they still killed it with Chasing Waves by Bianca Mori!

In between the readings, we had breaks to drink away the thirst (LOL) and to take more pictures. I was hailed (self-proclaimed, really) Prom King and at one point Caryn turned me into an iteration of the Santo Nino. Wahaha. (I’m so directly going to hell. Do not pass Go! Do not collect $200!) I also had short smoke breaks, mostly with Brij and Oya and Pach. Gio was also there, asked me a few questions about my story and haha, I’m glad to report I was able to speak like a human person and I didn’t have yet another out of body experience (that would come later).

The last two readings killed me. They were from our newest book, Start Here, and for the second time, queer romance was featured in these #romanceclass live-readings! Brij’s Lemon Drop Friday is already so wonderful, and read by Rachel and Sam made it even better. The last story was my story, read by Gio and Fred and I refuse to talk about it now. I’m saving that for the Start Here reflection paper I’m preparing for posting sometime in the future. LOL

What I will say, though, is that I didn’t expect people to respond to it the way they did. Of course part of it were because of G and F’s extraness (like, extra extra!) but I didn’t really expect people to laugh at some of the lines I also thought were funny, and ‘aww’ at the lines I also thought were sweet. To have my work live read was one of the goals and I was fortunate enough to have my work chosen as early as it did in my #romanceclass journey. I am also very fortunate to have all these wonderful people around me, who, right after I died and lived again several times in my seat during the reading, wrapped me in their arms and celebrated with me.

This community’s natural instinct to support and nurture beginning writers like me, who are still figuring out this new thing we found inside ourselves, is #romanceclass’s strength. I probably cried when the reading was going on (I can’t remember everything, like I said) but it was because I was so happy! I still cannot properly express how happy I was. I don’t think I ever will.

So after the readings, when the event was officially over, we stayed back a while and made it an actual Prom. I danced with princesses (my heroes), watched my OTP have their first dance (Hint: THE DRESS FIT, no question!), received wonderful wonderful news (wide eye emoji times three) and hung out with people I didn’t think I’d have so much fun after just bonding with them on computer/phone screens for most of these friendships.

And being the DOERS that #romanceclass were, we already have a brand new project underway (Thanks, Ron!). Not one to sit on laurels, these romanceclass people.

It was a night of Romance, a wee bit different from the romance expected of Proms, but a night where love triumphed, nonetheless.

The After Effects

The immediate effect was I got hungry. Heh. I was still running on adrenaline as I drove all the way back to Bulacan (still on my own, still anxious af) so after I took my exit, I decided to get myself (drum roll please) a Happy Meal. I couldn’t resist! Burger, fries and a toy? Let’s be real.

I was also really pumped that the toy was Snoopy and that one of the poses was called “Famous Author Snoopy”! It’s basically Snoopy sitting on top of his iconic doghouse, typing away at his typewriter. It’s also a paper embosser. The scrapbooker in me wanted to hug the McDonald’s Drive-Thru crew in drunk happiness.

The longterm effect split two ways. In one way I got inspired and brave enough to release the poetry collection I’ve been sitting on for a long while now, Signed B. I don’t know exactly why I felt like it was now screaming at me to publish it, but I did, and now I got screenshots of it at the Amazon Poetry Charts on my desktop and I’ve got 5 reviews on GoodReads from happy readers.

The other way is that I got to be more comfortable with The Other Story and now I can say I’ve actually let it go to let that piece work its way on its own. I don’t know if it’s the same with other writers but when I make something, whether a written piece or a floor plan, I’m sensitive of my shit. I hold on to it so hard and I’m easily offended when I get comments.

Last week was the blog tour for Start Here and as expected, I couldn’t please everybody. But I didn’t mind the low-rated reviews on my story as much as I thought I would. I was genuinely happy that the whole book was being read and that people were invested enough to blog about what they thought about our stories. I was able to read those and take notes for self-improvement instead of zooming in on my mistakes and my shortcomings. I had been trying to please everybody for such a long time, accepting critiques this openly was somewhat alien to me.

I already knew my target audience, and they loved it. They laughed at my jokes, they ‘aww’-ed at my sweet lines and I was there to experience it firsthand. I even had people I’ve never seen or talked to before, come up to me for a signature! Would you believe?

And yes, I’m still learning the ropes, but I knew I wasn’t alone in this new adventure I was writing for myself. I have my people.

Now...I don’t know how to end this long-ass post again so I’ll leave you with five words I think about when I think of that night: It was the best Prom.

#Romanceclass #feelssoprom #bentchcreates #review

1 note · View note

mchellesvanity · 6 years ago

Note

Ask thingy: 4, 9, 13, 14, 18, 29, 35, 76, 91, 100---have fun. heehee.

haha thank you! :)

Last time i cried and why? Probably quite recently to be honest and most likely over something silly but i can’t remember what.

Tattoos i want? I have two really small ones already but i want like this floral rose thingy in black and white on my arm.

Life goal? asfhlkl now that’s a question i don’t have the answer two right now.

Piercings i want: I have my tongue pierced but i’d probably have more but i don’t know what.

Phobia: More of an anxiety thing but crowded places, anything with too many people.

one insecurity: Too many to just put one.

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? haha yes i have.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yeahhh

Have you ever been pushed in a pool with all your clothes on? i have yeah

Give us one thing about you that know one knows? I guess i come across as quite an open person on here but i’m not in reality.

#ask games #about me #yes2fridays

0 notes

kirakiraproject · 8 years ago

Text

Kira Beauty - Aoi

This week's Kira Beauty is our only India member, which is the 3rd generation's member of Team K, Aoi. She's also our only member from Asia and the youngest member of the entire Crystal Rose. I'm Mizuki and I'm the one who gonna interview Aoi.

A = Aoi M = Mizuki

M: Hi Aoi!

A: Hi Mizuki! Nice to meet you!

M: Nice to meet you too! How was your day?

A: It was good today. I laughed a lot in my tuition for the first time. It was a funny day. I was really happy.

M: Awesome! My day was actually very great too. I guess it's a good day today, haha. What do you feel about being a member of Crystal Rose?

A: As member of Crystal Rose I am really excited for new activities, meeting new people, making new friends and improving my skills.

M: So what was the reason that made you audition for this group?

A: I love to try new and interesting things and I also got here by my friend Juju. We were actually together in one more group.

M: Oh, I remember! She was the one who recommended you to audition, right?

A: Yes she recommended me.

M: When it comes to music, do you have any favorite genre?

A: Pop, K-pop and J-pop are my favorite.

M: Do you have any favorite singer/group in K-pop and J-pop?

A: For K-pop it's Twice and Super Junior and for J-pop it's May'n Prizmmy and Iris.

M: How long have you been listening in K-pop and J-pop?

A: K-pop for six months. I just got to know how to sing in Korean. And for J-pop, it's been 4 year. Since the age of 10 I have been listening to J-pop, so I can speak and sing in Japanese perfectly.

M: Wow!!! You can speak Japanese? That's so cool!! How did you learn Japanese?

A: I learned Japanese just by watching Anime with subtitles.

M: Wow, that's so great! I used to watch Korean dramas, but never got to learn any Korean haha! If we go back to the music topic, do you wish to become a professional singer in the future?

A: Yes it is my wish to become a professional singer as I am perfect at high notes.

M: So since when did this dream of yours begin?

A: At age of 12. I first started off with a YouTube channel and slowly slowly improved myself in singing and from that time when I started my YouTube channel my dream begin.

M: And now you are 14 and gonna turn 15, so it has been two years right? What kinds of videos are you uploading on your YouTube channel?

A: Ya it's been two years haha. I usually upload cover song, mostly J-pop but I am also singing Kpop so I upload that too.

M: Do you mind sharing the link here, so other who are interested can go and listen to your covers?

A: Ya sure! Here! It's Teak Hive the ELF. https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCfMOzt7UBlCg29CiAPZaXYw

M: Awesome! Now, everyone! Please go and visit Aoi's YouTube right after you have read this interview, heehee!

A: Hahaha 😃

M: Do you have other occupations that you would like to work as?

A: I would like be an engineer or doctor and for that I am working really hard.

M: It's great that you are already working hard for your dream. Wish you a big luck!! Which grade are you in now?

A: 10 grade the grade which is one of hardest grade for an Indian student.

M: Oh why is it the hardest?

A: It is hard because of board a kind of exam and if you don't get 90% you won't get science and if you won't get science it will be no engineer or doctor and those of jobs are most famous and important job in India.

M: Oh I see... Then I wish you a super big luck with your exams so you can get over 90%!! Since you are very busy with both school and our group, do you still find any free time to do other stuffs?

A: Yes I have. There are times when I do dance practice and singing secretly.

M: Haha, I got what you mean! Secretly from parents who only want us to study, right haha?

A: Ya hahaha! You got me.

M: Well my parents are kind of the same, but in fact it's also very important for us to relax too. Plus, dancing and singing are something that's good for us, since we are in Crystal Rose, haha. Anyway, since you want to become a singer, do you also want to make your own music?

A: Ya I want to but I don't know how to do hahaha.

M: Hahaha same here! But I think we can learn it online or take a course about it. If you are going to make a song right now, what would that song be about?

A: It will be about love most probably.

M: What kind of love? Heartbroken, just falling in love, have staying together for a long time love or other love, haha?

A: All kinds hahaha.

M: Aw well, love is beautiful and easy to relate to, so many people would for sure love to listen! So Aoi, nice to talk to you tonight! It was really fun!

A: Ya it was fun for me too. I also got to know about you a little hahaha. Well thanks for giving me time.

M: Thank you to you too! And thank you to all our supporters who just read this interview! Have a nice week everyone! Bye~

A: Thank you and bye bye everyone!

#kirakiraproject #crystalrose #kirabeauties #teamkaoi #musicgroup #girlgroup #netidol #netaidoru

6 notes · View notes

vertigoambrosia · 8 years ago

Text

ok back to last year’s 16 carat [just day 1]

we left off at will ospreay and shane strickland having a dance party and then being tired for a little bit

boys are dumb

i never actually listened to the podcast where ospreay apparently detailed how fucked up he is (i dont even know what podcast it was), but whenever i see him i can’t help but think about how someone needs to make this boy actually take time off to heal

HOLY SHIT they just landed on a guy! idk what i would do if a wrestler just flipadooed his way into my lap

oh man i love matches where people start countering moves

esp when i’ve never seen that counter before

and ESPECIALLY when the two guys have significant history

ok these ospreay kickouts are getting kinda dumb

i feel like some matches could or should be like, five to ten minutes shorter; sometimes it just doesn’t seem plausible that this person is absorbing all this damage and could mount a comeback

like, strickland winning after the stomp to the head would have been a ton more believeable

i aaaalmost felt that way with matt riddle at the end of the wwn title match, except that riddle was just barely kicking out and three quarters dead, and also he’s an actual mma fighter so it’s not hard to buy that he’s still kinda conscious

also riddle won by his submission, so it’s not like he had to really run around to hit a bunch of flippies or something

hah i love trevor lee’s bit where he makes part of the crowd get up like he’s gonna do a dive or something...and then just goes back into the ring

i’ve seen marty do it too

ok but back to what i’m actually watching

wow commentary can’t decide whether they want to say angelico with the spanish g (h) or the hard g they literally switched halfway through

silas seems like a weird choice to bring over but i don’t follow roh too closely

galloway is cool and i didn’t realize how big he was until i saw him wrestle in evolve; i wish he weren’t going back to wwe but alas

it’s weird cause he has an i quit match with riddle on the 23rd which...seems like a forgone conclustion? i’m not really sure i wanna seem them fight again anyway; they’re a good matchup but still

hahaha i love galloway getting the crowd to help him

tangent again: drew leavign for the ‘e is really strange because his gimmick in evolve has been all about bringing evolve to it’s true glory [he thinks that now it is slipping] and is really passionate about it even though he’s a jerk

so it’s really out of character

aw i didn’t notice drew has dimples

i’m not paying attention very well, am i?

ok i’ve been praising galloway but that silas roll/plancha was sick as fuck

heehee i love how stoked drew is :)

it’s so sweet when wrestlers are real happy about wrestling

haha more wrestler requesting help from the crowd

oh random note: apparently a former coworker of mine i follow on instagram is in a production of a play about wrestling

unfortunately it’s in florida so there’s no way i could go :(

ivanov mad sami might have killed his meal ticket

o here we go the match i decided i had to watch before continuing w/shotgun

god marty looks SO. STUPID. in that beanie

i want some lil ringkampf boxers/boxer briefs/booty shorts/whatever a comfortable version of axel’s trunks would be

lol marty ur handcuffs suck

hahaha ‘you are stupid’ when marty undoes the cuffs to chickenwing axel

lmao those cuffs really do suck

i feel like this match isn’t living up to the hype (or maybe just my hype)

maybe it’s just that the i quit stipulation gives the match a weird rythym that i’m not used to

ok when people chant for axel they say ‘axel dieter’ and then something that sounds like ‘oo gee oh’ what is it actually?

ok the finish is awesome though

3 notes · View notes

rubiaryutheroyal · 8 years ago

Text

When Something Smells, it's Gotta Be Cthulhu - Ep 2

Gyakuten Saiban CoC (Call of Cthulhu)

Uploader: 久瀬さん (Kuze san)

mylist: http://www.nicovideo.jp/mylist/58256490

Ep 2: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm30608550

Nicoviewer: http://nicoviewer.net/sm30608550

–

This video series is a replay of a CoC game played with the uploader’s family & friends featuring GS characters (Phoenix, Maya, Edgeworth, Larry), with a few tweaks in the dialogue. It follows a scenario provided by kanin @ <http://kanin-hib.hateblo.jp/> called “Touring the Town”.

Here is the next. Starting from this episode, the episode titles and character status updates appear at the end of the video.

Keep up those notes so I know that people are enjoying these! I spend a few hours on each episode and only when I do have the time, so the feedback is greatly appreciated.

In other news, I’ll be returning to the ask meme shortly.

KP: Everyone is at Limestone Cavern, but by the front entrance, there's a poster that says "Under maintenance". A fence and blue sheet used for construction have been set up. It seems like there are signs of fallen rocks, so entering that path is prohibited. You keep going deeper into the cave, and there, an unforeseen scene awaits you.

(Edgeworth: Hm.)

(Larry: Oh.)

KP: As you walk up the constructed steps, light refracts through the crystals, merging with dancing lights, striking you with waves of refreshingly clear and fascinating purple among lively colors. Everything that was hidden within this side of the cave, creating "frosty crystals" of all sizes, make up this majestic view. To prevent light from the outside from entering, the path to the innercaves has been lit up only by faint lights underfoot. It gets even more humid as you go further and passing out from stroke is possible. That kind of scene. Roll for aim.

Maya: Oho.

Larry: It's hot...

KP: As for me, I look around as usual and think, (Better be careful or I might slip and fall...)

Maya: "Wow! Wow!" I say as I enjoy the sights too! Let's explore!

Larry: Awesome! I get really inspired with creative ideas!

[All three roll: Edgeworth, Aim (85) -> 35, success Larry, Aim (80) -> 69, success Maya, Aim (80) -> 65, success]

KP: So, everyone sees that inside the crystal formations, there's something made of metal or cloth. Next, roll for idea.

[All three roll: Edgeworth, Idea (85) -> 82, success Larry, Idea (50) -> 83, fail Maya, Idea (75) -> 87, fail]

KP: Oops, both of you failed here. Um, then Edgeworth sees that it's some sort of man-made object like a rail or rope. Your knowledge score is 99, isn't it?

Edgeworth: It is.

Larry: Leave it to Edgey!

KP: So, the roll has to be a success... Edgeworth knows that this cave took some hundreds of years to form and they can't be some man-made things that have been buried here. Kinda like that.

Edgeworth: ...?

Phoenix: It's really hot here... I'm exhausted.

Maya: Ooh, it's so mysterious.

Edgeworth: ...This cave is a little strange. I go discuss it with Wright in secret. Maya doesn't seem to hear, and Larry can hear if he wants.

Larry: I don't hear anything, too busy taking pictures.

Edgeworth: ...Don't do whatever you want by yourself, Larry.

Larry: You can't tell me what to do!! *click, click*

Phoenix: Well, Maya? You feeling the power yet? I say, as I whisper (What?) to Edgeworth.

Maya: Talking real? Of course not! Look at it! It's just a normal pretty limestone cave, right? Looks like there are other things, though. Anyway, I don't sense anything weird! It's just really pretty! A fake power spot, Nick!

Phoenix: A fake power spot, huh.

Edgeworth: Limestone Cavern would have taken hundreds of years to form... yet it looks like there are some man-made items buried within the crystals. It's completely unnatural to say the least.

Phoenix: Huh, is that so. You sure are quite the knowledgeable guy.

Edgeworth: I had a normal upbringing, though...

(Larry: Since I couldn't make a prayer at the shrine, maybe I'll do it here.)

KP: Edgeworth and I roll for knowledge and idea. Only one dice roll each.

Edgeworth: Certainly.

(Maya: I thought it was going to be a spot with a whole lot more power...)

[Both roll: Edgeworth, knowledge + idea (85) -> 17, success Phoenix, knowledge + idea (85) -> 56, success]

Larry: Since I don't notice anything, I go like freedom.

(Edgeworth: Freedom...?)

Edgeworth: The view is quite splendid. It may not be a place we can stay too long, but there is some worth to seeing the sights. Is what I say to Maya.

KP: Then, Edgeworth and I realize, although it's a limestone cave, it seems to have been hollowed out - like some sort of mine.

Edgeworth: Naturally.

KP: You can sort of tell from the map. This cave is really hot. At least, I think so. After we get to the end, I feel like turning back.

Maya: As I go, "Okay!" after listening to Mr. Edgeworth, I look around restlessly without trailing too far.

Edgeworth: Hmm, we'll head back before anyone gets a stroke.

KP: Come on, Larry, let's go. We're headed for the innermost part.

Larry: Sure, let's go.

[All three roll: Edgeworth, Aim (85) -> 09, success Larry, Aim (80) -> 50, success Maya, Aim (80) -> 51, success]

KP: Wow, Edgeworth, what an eye-popper.

Edgeworth: L-let's not talk about that. (1)

KP: Oh uh, yeah. Haha. Anyway, the three of you proceed to the innermost area of the cave, where you find an especially tight, hard-to-cross path, the "Locked Sidepath". There's a rusted lock that tells you entry is prohibited, but there's no sign saying anything. Since you have a map, you see that this path isn't marked on it.

Maya: Oh! What a strange-looking side path, Nick! The lock makes it totally suspicious!

Edgeworth: What is this?

Larry: A-a back alley...

Phoenix: If it's locked, it might be dangerous, so don't go there, Maya.

KP: That it's locked is in plain sight for everyone.

Edgeworth: It's not recorded on the map... There are other side roads that are, so why is this one the only one that isn't...?

Phoenix: Who knows... I'm not sure, but there could be other side roads that we didn't see and this is just one of them.

KP: I'm starting to get a little sleepy, so my response time is getting slow. Maybe it has to do with me, the KP, getting sleepy too.

Maya: A path that isn't on the map... it's getting more and more suspicious! But since it's locked up, we can't go that way... Well, we've come to the end, so let's just go back. As I say.

Larry: It's like a secret passage! Hey, Nick, let's go in!

KP: You can try, but you have to roll for idea.

(Larry: Idea?)

(Phoenix: Idea. Everyone would roll.)

Edgeworth: Wait, since it's locked up so people can’t get in, then we shouldn't trespass. Wright is also getting tired, so it's best we head back.

[Both roll: Edgeworth, Idea (85) -> 59, success Larry, Idea (50) -> 69, fail]

KP: Edgeworth succeeded, but Maya, you wanna roll too?

Maya: I'm okay! Let's just go back!

KP: Alright. So, since we tried traversing the non-maintained cave without equipment, a slip of footing could result in a fatal accident, Edgeworth thinks. And since Phoenix said he was sleepy, he himself feels a bit of drowsiness coming on. Well, the latter may be due to the humidity, after all...

Larry: I feel my consciousness drifting...

Edgeworth: Larry, do you still insist on proceeding like this?

Larry: Let's go, let's go! A real man would accept the challenge, Edgey!

KP: Heh, so some frantic staff come over to stop him. "Don't go there, pal! It's dangerous!"

Maya: It's dangerous!

Larry: What the heck! Why!? What's wrong with it!?

KP: Like I said, we might slip and fall to our deaths, and I won't be able to defend or anything anymore!! The staff see how flustered Larry is, so you three should roll for luck to see if you can help.

Edgeworth: I try to stop him, saying, "I also think there's a real chance of a fatal accident, stop it, Larry!"

[All three roll: Edgeworth, Luck (65) -> 44, success Maya, Luck (70) -> 09, success Phoenix, Luck (70) -> 89, fail]

(Larry: N-Nick failed?)

(Edgeworth: Wright...)

KP: As usual, I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky with these dice!! This isn't just a fail for my NPC either! (2) Well, he goes, "Ah, wait a sec," as he covers up his ear with a hand.

Edgeworth: Hey, Larry... Wright?

Maya: What's the matter, Nick?

Phoenix: The song...

KP: And after mumbling that, he tilts and falls over on the steps.

Larry: N-Niiiick!!

Maya: W-waah!! I-I can't hold him up! It's hard for just me!

Edgeworth: Wright? I hurry over to him to check on his condition.

Larry: H-hey, what's happened to you, Nick!? I rush over too!

Edgeworth: Excuse me! Is there a doctor or someone with medical experience!?

Maya: N-Nick!

KP: "Is it chronic?" one staff asks, "If not, it might just be because of the heat, so let's take him outside."

Edgeworth: We should carry him out... Is there any skill we should roll for?

KP: Hmm... idea and knowledge, or medicine... If it's just the PCs who touch me, uh, him, you can roll.

Edgeworth: I am touching him now. I'll roll for the former.

Maya: Can I stroke his head while we go!? I can't calm down to think, but we just need to roll for the former, right?

Larry: I'm just feeling shocked in the back here.

Edgeworth: Wait, surely your SIZ is the greatest among us, Larry.

Larry: Now that you mention it, it is!!

Edgeworth: In that case, we can use SIZ to measure. I have the same SIZ as Wright, so there's a risk we'd fall.

Larry: Then I'll hold him. Can I touch him?

KP: He's fallen and well, he can't complain, since he's not awake. Everyone can roll.

[All three roll: Edgeworth, Idea + Knowledge (85) -> 29, success Larry, Idea + Knowledge (50) -> 98, fumble Maya, Idea + Knowledge (70) -> 42, success]

(Maya: Ah.)

(Larry: Heehee.)

(Edgeworth: Hehe.)

KP: The Fallen Wright Incident.

Larry: So he drops because I don't come up with anything?

Edgeworth: "What are you doing!!?" My PC is so angry.

Larry: I-I'm sorry!! I didn't mean anything by it!!

Edgeworth: Enough, I'm carrying him.

Maya: Um, I'm still pretty shaken, and can only say, "N-Nick..."

KP: Well, even if I did hear that exchange, I'd only twitch and not move. Edgeworth and Maya, thinking about the heat in this cave and that he probably had a stroke, notice that his body is strangely cold. "Rather, could his body temperature have dropped below normal?" You think.

Larry: So is he okay?

Edgeworth: ...We should hurry and find a doctor to check on him. Let's go, you two. I'll carry him on my back. Let's move out.

Maya: Y-yes, sir!

Larry: R-right!

KP: You make it outside just fine. The staff on standby near the cave let him rest, and a doctor on team checks on him.

Larry: Is he gonna be alright!?

Edgeworth: I'm completely shaken...

Maya: I ask "Is Nick okay?"... Everyone's pretty shaken up, huh?

KP: It seems he's now fully awake and has come out fine.

(Edgeworth: Thank goodness.)

(Maya: Thank goodness!!)

(Larry: Thank goodness!)

KP: The doctor says it's probably just a combination of fatigue and overheating that caused him to drop. And the bruise he got from falling has been wrapped up with a wet towel.

(Larry: Sorry.)

KP: "Huh... where am I?" he then asks.

Maya: We're already out of the cave, Nick!

Larry: You suddenly toppled over! We were worried!!

Phoenix: I suddenly fell? Me?

Edgeworth: Honestly, we were quite concerned... How are you feeling, Wright? If anywhere still hurts, you can rest a bit longer.

KP: I'm probably fine. Though I think I saw some mysterious flashes before my eyes while I slept.

Maya: Anyway, that bruise you got so you don't remember was because Larry dropped you while we were carrying you out!

KP: If you didn't mention it, I would have thought maybe it was from when I fell on my own.

Larry: *grin*

Maya: Then I didn't need to explain!

KP: "Sorry," I apologize to you three.

Edgeworth: As long as you don't have any other problems, I don't mind.

Phoenix: I don't think I do.

Larry: Man, you scared the heck outta me!

Maya: If your condition was this bad, you should have said so!

Edgeworth: Then, it's fine. ...As Maya has said, you should have said something earlier when you weren't feeling well. At least this time, nothing came of it...

KP: I sit up, thinking, "Whew! That scared me..." and feel relieved.

Maya: Geez, there's no helping it with you! If you're okay, then good!

Larry: Yeah! Totally!

Phoenix: By the time I realized I wasn't feeling well... I was dizzy and my knees were caving... I saw a bad dream even, must have been tired.

Larry: A dream?

Edgeworth: A bad dream...? Thinking about it, before you fell, you said something about a song.

Phoenix: Yeah... I heard something like a song ringing in my ears. There was something in the dream that made me feel really good, though...

Larry: What the heck?

Maya: Hmm... I didn't hear anything, though...

Larry: Maybe it was a girl? You dreamed about a girl??

Maya: You became feverish and started hearing weird things!?

KP: I'm saying I really heard it!

Phoenix: ...It's like, I felt like I saw something I couldn't see. It was really beautiful and comforting, but...

Edgeworth: But, what?

Phoenix: ...I realized I was crossing the Sanzu River. And now you get it?

Larry: If you crossed it, that means you died!

Edgeworth: ...That doesn't sound very appealing.

Phoenix: Yeah, that's why I said it was a bad dream.

Maya: Whoa, it really was.

Edgeworth: ...I figure there's some wise saying to be said about this. Taking an ordinary sight would have been just as fine, and we should have gone on a tour elsewhere.

Larry: Whoa, scary... But that song was sung by a girl, right? Then, I'd also...

KP: Though the PCs didn't fail, just the NPC did, I have to say something desperate without throwing away my image!!

Edgeworth: Sorry.

Larry: Sorry!

KP: "Just stop there, Larry," I tell him, and while apologizing to Maya and Edgeworth, I tell them, "Don't worry about me and enjoy yourselves."

Edgeworth: As you don't have any plans yourself, we stay together.

Larry: Well, you know what they say, the more the merrier.

Maya: That's right, and I'm the one who always goes with Nick! But just in case he falls over again, we should stick together.

KP: But if we get into trouble again?

Edgeworth: A bit too late for that. (3)

KP: Uh, well... So, where to next?

Larry: I don't mind, I could go anywhere. Like a shrine visit, or back to the cave.

Maya: We accomplished my number one goal, right? Seeing Limestone Cavern.

Edgeworth: I am curious about the reference library.

KP: The library is close to the bus stop, and we could take a look around. Then, let's go. We're still in the peaceful time, so we can tour around as we like. We may even meet a certain spoken-of mascot somewhere.

Maya: That mascot should really change its face.

KP: I have lots of things to say to that mascot, so I'd like to meet him.

Maya: By that, do you mean what size it is? Like someone could fit inside it kind of size?

KP: Hmm... I saw the costume. Somewhere in town.

Edgeworth: So it does exist?

Maya: We can see the real thing, but I still think that mascot's face could do better, Nick. Well, not like they could do it any other way... but I'm not changing my opinion.

KP: "It's not just the face, it should also change the pose," I think to myself. "Why did I have to put imposing with more imposing, it doesn't look relaxed at all!!" I think.

Maya: That mascot has a look that doesn't look relaxed enough.

KP: "That's just the impression," I say, but in my mind, I'm still circling around ideas...

PC 1: Miles Edgeworth

[All stats unchanged]

Really enjoyed making the last video.

PC 2: Larry Butz

[All stats unchanged]

However much this PL tries to fix his remarks to match his PC, even the guy who started this game can't tell the difference between them.

PC 3: Maya Fey

[All stats unchanged]

This PL doesn't know how natural she should be, she says about one of the KP's comments. "Whenever I say something naturally, I get really honest!"

KP: Phoenix Wright

[SAN: 69]

Thinking about putting "Naruhodou" as an official name, this devoted person then remembers feeling really weird about it the first time he did.

Episode 2: The Fallen Wright Incident

(1) The Edgeworth & Phoenix PLs have a strong fear of dice eyes since they have bad histories with fumbles (natural fail rolls).

(2) KP secretly rolls again, but it doesn't count.

(3) Referring to the fumbling.

#i translate #nico douga #call of cthulhu #ace attorney

3 notes · View notes

simper-fi · 8 years ago

Text

Loads of replies, pt. 1! <3

The trees! The houses! They're all so beautiful! *__* Seriously, the atmosphere here is just so calm and tangible, I love it. :D

Thank you so much! I’m only trying to get my neighborhood streets to look as awesome as yours. ;D

crystaldollhouse replied to your photo “Progress on the tree-lined, suburban part of town. Xavier and...”

So beautiful, it looks like a real neighbourhood

Thank you! <3 I draw a lot of inspiration from my boyfriend’s neighborhood, because he lives in a nice suburb and I live on a boring city block. :P

deedee-sims replied to your photoset “The rest of Ollie’s birthday is much more enjoyable - he stays up late...”

What a cute room!

Thanks DeeDee! :D <3

dramallamadingdang replied to your photoset “The rest of Ollie’s birthday is much more enjoyable - he stays up late...”

That airplane wallpaper is so cute! I really need to get over my fear of patterned wallpaper. Seriously, I have none in my game because I never use it...

Haha! I have so many downloaded because I love the patterns or because they look so pretty in previews, but I never really use them once I’m in-game. I tend to make the exception for kids’ rooms, though. ;) Also, clashing patterns everywhere!

dramallamadingdang replied to your photoset “So close, yet so far… if this is any indication of how Oliver’s...”

I like it when they sit on the toilet, THEN GET UP, then do the Peepee Dance, and THEN pee on the floor. Like, dude! You were ON THE TOILET!

Sim logic at its finest! Although I can’t recall one of mine actually getting off the toilet to do the dance, that’s hilarious. :P

dramallamadingdang replied to your photoset “A baby girl named *runs to SimPE* Isabel. :D And, as befits any...”

Glad I'm not the only one who forgets baby names! But at least I have 'em on a spreadsheet, so I'm not having to open SimPE. :)

Aaaaaand this is just one more example of what an incredibly unorganized person I am. ;) (Really, it’s not like I’d have to manually keep written records of this stuff, it would take a few seconds to document it on a spreadsheet, but alas... I am lazy. :D)

foxglovesims replied to your photoset “Rainy day Sycamore Cove.”

Beautiful!

skyburned replied to your photoset “Rainy day Sycamore Cove.”

spectacular!

Thank you both so much! *-* <3

ofgodsandllamas replied to your photo “Progress on the tree-lined, suburban part of town. Xavier and...”

i love this! i love how different it looks from your more urban areas, like it IS straight up suburban and the homes - at least from this glance - look so cozy and homey like lmao this is where you'd see kids playing in the street. so cute!

Ahhhhhhh thank you! I try! <3 At least, that’s what I visualize the suburbs to be like, lmao. My boyfriend lives in a suburb so I take a lot of ideas from his neighborhood. The inspiration for the urban area comes from my neighborhood. ;D I guess I’m privy to the best of both? :D

cdhmayhem replied to your photoset “It’s been awhile since I sent any of my Sims to visit the diner (which...”

oh! Is that a place you can let some of us with less awesome download? I LOVE it!

Thank you! I’m glad you like it! It’s actually not up for download, but I’ve had quite a few requests for it dating back about two years now oh lord and I keep promising to upload it. I’m REALLY going to try to do it soon, I swear!

nutmegdealer replied to your photo “Progress on the tree-lined, suburban part of town. Xavier and...”

this is so quaint and adorable! and if you like building so much, please invade my game.

Heheheh, thank you! I actually have the shells saved in my test hood (the original clean, unoccupied lots). They’re mostly unfurnished but I think they all have landscaping. I’ve been thinking about uploading them. :) I’m also hoping to get some more CC-free builds uploaded, too!

katatty-main replied to your photo “Progress on the tree-lined, suburban part of town. Xavier and...”

this looks fab!

Thank you! <3

thedimplesimmer replied to your photoset “The rest of Ollie’s birthday is much more enjoyable - he stays up late...”

I LOVE the kitchen, and the bedroom and everything :D

Ahhhh thank you! :D I’m glad you like the kitchen, it’s a bit sleeker and less cluttered than my usual kitchens, I was afraid it’d look unfinished. ;D

shastakiss replied to your post “Hi, I love your pictures! I was wondering where I could get the deer...”

i love you too feeeeeee

prettybabo replied to your photoset “A baby girl named *runs to SimPE* Isabel. :D And, as befits any...”

Heehee I always say schnoz too �� lmao never thought I'd need a schnoz emoji ��

YES SCHNOZ CLUB! Although sometimes I use the more formal “schnozzola”. ;D

snapdragoned replied to your post “I was so excited to play my game tonight, then I thought it’d be a...”

omg i did this last weekend...i accidentally compressed my entire EA games folder and it took 6 HOURS

OH GOD D: my program actually stopped working about halfway through mine so I don’t know if it actually compressed anything lmao, I want to try again but I think I’ll do it in sections next time!

zeusar replied to your photoset “Does a womrat count as a fantastic beast?”

SCRRREAAAAMMMMSSS

ajaysims replied to your photoset “Does a womrat count as a fantastic beast?”

it's not a wormrat, it's a puffskein ;)

AHHHH OF COURSE YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!

ofgodsandllamas replied to your photoset “Does a womrat count as a fantastic beast?”

SHIT that's uncanny. lmaoooo wow wow i'm in AWE!!!!!!

AHHH THANK YOU!!! I tried lmao

didilysims replied to your photoset “A dreaded sunny day So I meet you at the cemetery gates Keats and...”

Woooooww! It's beautiful!

Thank you so much, Didily! <3 :)

11 notes · View notes

jvc-yearofservice · 5 years ago

Text

8/18/19 - 8/24/19

"When it comes to matters of social justice and personal conscience, create as much holy mischief as possible."

We had our second Spirituality night together, where we shared our favorite songs and then explained why after collectively all listening to them in silence via a speaker. Mine was 'Kiss Me' by Ed Sheeran. For Community night, we watched Nacho Libre and ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Tres Hermanas, and when the waiter found out that we were volunteers, he gave us free extra chips for the table and a pitcher of mango margarita (Olé!). The house has been functioning pretty smoothly since we have a shared Google Docs with weekly responsibilities for each person (this week I led Community Night and swept the downstairs hallway). I also cook with the assistance of another housemate on Thursday nights. We also have a collaborative Spotify playlist for our house that we listen to on a speaker (lots of ABBA because I created it, heehee).

Work has been more prepping and getting ready for the kids, who come on Thursday. The other Jesuit volunteer and I went to the California DMV to get new licenses since we will be driving children around for our job (me more so than her). It was a pretty easy experience, except we didn't bring proof of residence so we had to pretend that the teacher who dropped us off at the DMV was our landlord, and he had to sign a form saying that we lived in his building. Then we had to take a written test, and I failed the first time around, haha! But eventually, I passed, and I got my new license, hooray!

One of our housemates hasn't been having the best time getting transportation to work, however. Apparently, the volunteer in her position had to have her parents pay for an Uber/taxi every day to and from her site (PS7 St. Hope elementary school) because the walk/bike ride there is so stressful and unsafe. When we were all visiting each other's sites, we walked together to this particular site, and even in a huge group, I will say that it was incredibly sketchy and unsafe-looking, so I do not blame my housemate for not wanting to walk BY HERSELF AT 5 IN THE MORNING to work. So far, she has contacted our regional coordinator, and he suggested that she simply take a different route, one that is much longer. All of us are behind her, however, and she is close to having her parents drive her car all the way from Boston to Sacramento because she feels like she is getting nowhere with the JVC in terms of being provided with transportation. Likewise, all the community credit cards from every single site in the JVC were declined and found to not properly work (the money we use for groceries, etc). They have since fixed the problem and promised to give us all an extra $100 for our troubles but later changed their minds and didn't give us the extra money (sad face). The most hilarious part was definitely when the administration posted on the JVC 2019 Facebook page to update us all to the problem with the credit cards, and all the volunteers were commenting hilarious things about how they were eating their own shoes for survival, haha. Another funny thing is that I recently compared the JVC to being the pimp of the volunteers since all of our work sites pay the JVC a fee to have a volunteer (and our free labor), and the JVC keeps the money, only giving us a small portion of our earnings in the form of a $100 stipend each month.

On the weekend, we got to swim in a former Jesuit volunteer's pool which was awesome, but my face definitely got a little burnt. I've taken to just wearing my ball cap any time I'm outside to prevent further skin damage. Then on Sunday, we attended mass at St. Francis church, which was founded by the Franciscans hundreds of years ago. We sat with another former Jesuit volunteer and our current in-city coordinator, Windi, who is awesome! I even got to hold her amazingly cute infant daughter during mass! The presiding priest was Irish which made the homily infinitely cooler, in my opinion. After mass, we went to a welcome brunch put on by the parish (mainly for the free food), and all these elderly members were so welcoming and fought over who got to sit at our table. We even signed up for a weekend night ministry opportunity to cater to the homeless that sit on the church steps.

More information on the homeless issues in Sacramento: I've been talking to the teachers at Mustard Seed, and apparently it is not that uncommon for children to show up for the school year, not speaking any language (not sure if from trauma or educational neglect or both). One group of siblings even created their own language that only they understood but spoke no other language a couple years ago. It is also common for homeless children to have never been in school before the age of 7 or by middle school. The cost of living in Sacramento is lower than more of the bigger cities like L.A. or San Francisco, but it is still a lot higher than the cost of living in my hometown, St. Louis. For example, rent for one-room apartments are about $1,000 or more a month, and there are many well-off people we know here who live with several people in a small space in order to afford rent. Likewise, apartment applications cost money, which the homeless cannot afford, and even motel costs add up quickly. The homelessness here is largely attributed to the landlord's refusal to rent to anyone who cannot readily set aside 1/4 of their income for rent.

Our first day of school was this week, and I'm already pretty smitten! I have so far played with kids on the playground, drawn several chalk animals, packed bags for families, and sat in on two intakes. As expected, the children are deeply traumatized but fiercely resilient at the same time. Disassociating in the children is a huge problem for the teachers due to the difficulty it takes to bring a child out of that state while other children are nearby. Some drama that occurred on the first day: Towards the end of the day, the fish bowl was broken, and the fish (formerly named 'Johnson' and now renamed 'Superdog' by the children) fell out of the bowl and onto the floor, where he laid for several minutes out of water. Thankfully, he was rescued by the homeroom teacher when she returned. For now, he is inhabiting a mason jar with some of his pebbles from before. Something that has been surprisingly fun is my job of making the backpacks for the newly enrolled children. Each backpack is chosen with care (only the highest quality of all the donations), and I strived to choose backpacks matching the personalities of their future owners based off my brief interactions with the children. Inside every backpack is a:

-journal

-binder

-highlighters

-crayons

-markers

-loose-leaf

-colored pencils

-ruler

-pens

-pencils

-pencil sharpener

-erasers

-shampoo

-conditioner

-tissues

-soap

-deodorant

-hand sanitizer

-toothbrush and toothpaste

-package of clean underwear

-package of clean socks

Although a lot of the staff have commented on how they feel sorry that I have to pack all these backpacks in a tiny room, I'm actually having a lot of fun with it. I put on my Latin dancing music, and I move around quickly and organize and pack the bags. I nearly missed my break on the second day because I was so concentrated on making backpacks. Part of the fun of making the backpacks is imagining the looks on the kids' faces when they see how I color-coordinated their supplies or included a toy. I supervised recess and played soccer with one little boy, and I chatted with the kids about whether Cartoon Network or Disney Channel was better while they waited to be picked up. One of the teachers also gave me and my housemate some iced coffees one morning as a thanks for helping him clean his room. On the morning of school starting, we also all received some flowers from the administration. Something funny that happened too is that a nurse asked me what grade I was in, and her eyes nearly popped out of her head when I told her I had just finished my master’s degree. Something I have been looking forward to is getting free bagels and cream on Friday's with my co-workers.

One of the drawbacks of serving at this placement is the walk to and from there. The walk to the school includes walking by fresh urine, feces, and general human waste. I have become quite a pro at breathing out of my mouth. I'm also not a huge fan of being hassled by drunk or otherwise intoxicated men. Additionally, the girl who had my position last year got lice from the children, so I'll be careful to keep my hair braided and away from contact.

On one weekday night, we went to an open-mic performance at a coffee shop, called Speak Out Sacramento. It occurs twice a month, and it is run by one of the bosses of one of my housemate's sites. I enjoyed sitting and listening to poems, songs, and experimental narrations even though I didn't have money for a beer or coffee. Something hilarious that I learned lately was that one of the founders of Loaves and Fishes, Chris Delaney, hosted a movie night at her house for the previous Jesuit volunteers. One movie night, they ended up watching a pretty explicit movie, and the volunteers were visibly nervous at watching this in the presence of someone so well-respected by the service community. Seeing this, Chris (a very tiny and old woman) laughed at them and asked them if this was really their first time seeing these things. Any time I see her handing out lemonade at lunch, she always comments on how I'm smiling whenever she sees me, and I always tell her, "What's there not to smile about?"

P.S. When living simply, always get super glue! It's very helpful for any broken item, and I've already glued two pairs of shoes back together. :)

XOXO

0 notes