#dan lewis is just a really good dude

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 8 - Great Britain

I race I did watch live at the time... but had to watch a recording of it bc I fell asleep as I'd gotten back from a school trip the day before.

Anyway, my main memory of this race is all the very bad and very dramatic tyre failures which... big yikes. Seb also retired with some kind of mechanical failure which meant that Rosberg won. But apart from that I don't remember much else, so let's get into it and hope it's not completely awful 😵‍💫

Ah Silverstone, my forever beloved 💚

Okay starting grid: Merc 1-2 with Lewis on pole (spoiler alert: he's one of the drivers who has a tyre blowout :(), Seb P3, Dan P5 holy shit, Jenson P10 and Jev P12.

Helmet watch: I can't quite tell but it looks like Seb has pictures of all the RBR team on his helmet which is adorable

[Formation Lap]: Mediums and Hards are the tyres for this race.

cut to the stampede of mechanics and engineers trying to get back to the garages.

[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis shooting off at the start and Seb taking P2, I LOVE THIS SONG

Grosjean going round the outside of the of the McLaren's at Luffield holy shit dude

Jenson up to P9 🥰

or not Fernando just got past him :(

[Lap 2]: Lewis with an 8 tenths lead already, that's why they named the start-finish straight after him

[Lap 3]: aaaaand Lewis fastest lap.

Meanwhile Sutil is in P4. Team Silverstone once again be Team Silverstone-ing, at Silverstone

[Lap 5]: Lewis up to 2 seconds ahead of Seb, he's goating folks

The way that I know the tyre failures are coming but I have no idea on which laps they happen, it's like a really aggressive jack in the box.

(iirc Lewis, Jev and Checo were the affected drivers)

[Lap 6]: So yeah I'm just going to enjoy the Sewis 1-2 while it lasts 😭

[Lap 7]: Not Jenson complaining of his tyres overheating already, he's on the hards 😭😭😭

And Perez just got past him

and cut to Webber's busted front wing, man announced his retirement that weekend and someone decided to beat him up at the start as a send off

[Lap 8]: Seb fastest lap 🥰

ah shit there's Lewis' delaminated left rear tyre 😭😭😭

Cut to a v disappointed looking Ross Brawn

I know it's been ten years, but you can meet my fists Pirelli

The fact it happened down the Wellington straight too like.... big fucking yikes man

[Lap 9]: Anyway he's made it into the pits and is back out on track, although in plum last :(

[Lap 10]: So Seb's now P1 with Rosberg P2 and Sutil P3.

Oh jeez it was Massa that was the second left rear failure

[Lap 11]: cut to someone from Pirelli watching Massa's stop in the pit lane dbuhsfubh

[Lap 12]: Unsurprisingly, a load of cars have made their first stops

And a Grosjean fastest lap, because why not

"There's two men trying to stop Sebastian Vettel running away with the championship, and they're not doing a very good job of it" okay Brundle I will give you that one right.

[Lap 13]: Rosberg makes his first stop for hards.

[Lap 14]: and Seb makes his first stop, also for hards

The fact that Sutil is in P3, Team Silverstone baby!!!

[Lap 15]: Jev with tyre failure number 3 😭

The thing literally just exploded as we went through Stowe like... Pirelli I am in your walls

This race is legit the reason why I get anxiety every time I see one tyre failure bc my mind instantly goes back to the mess that was this race

[Lap 16]: And Safety Car. Likely for all the debris.

And honestly this race still pisses me off bc all the drivers were told to stay off the kerbs, but maybe Pirelli should have made better tyres in the first place

[Lap 17]: Adrian Newey with his head in his hands, a colossal mood

Anyway, soapbox away for now. Lewis is up into P14.

[Lap 18]: oooh internal SC cam. Bernd Maylander my forever Driver of the Day.

Cut to another Pirelli man in the Merc garage 👁️👄👁️

the TV director had a lot of fun with that, I can imagine

[Lap 19]: And also big shoutout to the marshals at the time for picking up all the little bits of debris in such record time.

"It's been a bit busy the past few laps" NO SHIT ROCKY

[Lap 20]: and a lap later he's calling out Seb for his fuel usage 😭

I can very easily see why I only remember the tyre failures from this race bc the replays of all the incidents are not fun

oh damn they even sent the track sweepers onto the circuit to clean up the mess

[Lap 21]: SC in this lap

stresssssss

(not bc I fear Seb losing the lead, bc I fear more carnage)

and off Seb goes!

casually just leaving Rosberg for dust

[Lap 22]: oh damn Perez got Webber on the outside of Abbey

...and Webber gets the place back

cut to Lewis driving on the kerbs at Maggots and Becketts, is2g

worth noting that not single driver has listened to their engineers when it comes to avoiding the kerbs. They are all menaces to society.

[Lap 24]: But he did get past Gutierrez going into Copse so... that was sexy I'll allow it

[Lap 27]: Somehow, Sutil is still in P3

the absolute scenes of it all

Seb's gap over Rosberg up to 3.3 seconds, that's my boy!!!

[Lap 28]: Dan passes Grosjean for P6!!

Another piece of debris on the track oh my fucking god

this race is almost causing me physical pain, maybe I had a point when I passed out watching this at the time

Okay apparently Gutierrez just trashed one of the break marker boards everyone's tyres are thankfully fine

[Lap 30]: Alonso makes his second (?) stop

[Lap 31]: oh shit Rosberg is 1.5 seconds faster than Seb???

don't tell me the DNF is coming sooner rather than later

I mean, I know it's coming, but still. This race has been too much.

[Lap 32]: Lewis up to P9... because of cars ahead making stops :(

It's okay bud you win the race a year later and do very iconic things you're all good

[Lap 35]: Rosberg pits again, I have lost track of the number of stops everyone's done ngl

At this point I just want everyone (excluding Seb's incoming DNF) to make it to the end of the race with all four tyres on their cars 😭

[Lap 36]: And Seb pits

while Webber got past Alonso for P4

[Lap 37]: Jenson up into P11

And Lewis into the pits again, he comes out in P11 so he could still get some points

okay this battle with Di Resta is actually really good, annoying that Lewis is down in P12 though

[Lap 38]: aaaaand he takes back P11 going through turn 4 *chef's kiss*

[Lap 39]: pls don't cut to a dejected Jev I am very emotionally fragile bc of this dumb race

[Lap 41]: *Lewis back into the points klaxon*

and there's Seb going slowly 😭

[Lap 42]: sounds like a gearbox failure

and Safety Car bc his car stopped on the main straight

p a i n

I have been personally victimised by the British Grand Prix of 2013

on the plus side at least Seb didn't have a long run to get back to the RBR garage 🥲

[Lap 43]: And Rosberg and Webber make their third (?) stops

[Lap 44]: Cut to Vivian, with some very on brand Petronas teal nail polish.

Okay so mainly recapping the running order for myself bc there has been too much going on: Rosberg leads from Raikkonen, Sutil, Dan, Webber, Perez, Jenson, Alonso, Lewis and Grosjean make up the top 10.

This has been a Motor Race™️

[Lap 45]: And off Nico goes!

[Lap 46]: Webber and Lewis both up a place at the restart

as is Fernando

jesus fucking christ there goes Perez's tyre

Pirelli you owe me emotional damages

[Lap 47]: Meanwhile Webber just shot up into P3

and Lewis is into P7!

[Lap 48]: or make that P6

worth noting that Lotus didn't pit Raikkonen under the SC, as Webber takes P2 going through Copse.

[Lap 49]: Lewis into P5!!!!!

this race has legit been batshit insane

[Lap 50]: Rosberg fastest lap, he has a 1.4 second lead over Webber

I should add we have three laps left

And Alonso takes P3

[Lap 51]: aaand Webber fastest lap

love me some fastest lap ping pong

Lewis P4!!!!!!!!!!

He had pole, dropped to last after his tyre failure, and goated his way back to P4. That's they they named the start-finish straight after him folks

[Lap 52]: Last lap. I am exhausted.

Rosberg has a 9 tenths lead so he's good

[Finish]: And Monaco Man wins the British GP!!!

Webber P2, Alonso P3, Lewis P4, Raikkonen P5, Massa P6, Sutil P7, Dan P8, Di Resta P9 and Hulkenberg P10.

My god, those last 10-ish laps combined with everything that happened beforehand... I need a lie down. Pirelli will be meeting my fists and paying my emotional damages even though it's been 10 years since the race.

Next race - Germany!

[happyselves]

Wine { Daniel Ricciardo x reader one shot }

You were invited to a garden party, one of your neighbours was throwing one for the launch of his wine or something, you heard of it before receiving the invite in your mailbox. Weird cause you didn't really known anyone here since you just got here and that neighbour, he was never here but you know from his house that he was rich as fuck.

Anyways you weren't planning on going but free food convinced you, but what to wear now ... to a garden party ? At 7pm ... who does that ? He must be an arrogant prick. You were torn between a sexy dress or a chill outfit ... and you end up with a combination of both, a sexy top and a chill pants . You didn't forget your purse and took your keys, do you really want to drive there ? Well no you were living next door but you did make the walk barefoot cause you didn't want to have sore feet already.

You arrived at your destination and entered the huge house and gave your invitation to a security guy, he did look at you with questioning eyes cause first you still weren't wearing your shoes and secondly you weren't really the type of guest this reception was expecting. What the fuck were you doing here plus more you were actually looking more you didn't see any other neighbour that you recognize.( you didn't know them personal but you always greet them when you see them )

Your shoes back on you start to look around, pretty decoration, very aesthetic and very chic but simple, a bit like yours but you could see some helmets and paintings of cars ? Super cars like the one being driven on circuit ... Formula 1 it was called ... ohhh that would explain a lot about your neighbour ... he must be a F1 driver then. The curiosity was growing inside of you, you knew Lewis Hamilton from this sport, you mean ... knowing is a big word, you've heard his name and saw a picture of him from one of your friends somewhere. If all the drivers were as handsome as Hamilton then your neighbour was getting interesting. What was his name again dammit.

You found the food and took some, not too much to not sound like a bizarre person, you were already underdressed and you were alone, that does look suspect. Socializing wasn't really your forte but some of the guests came to talk to you, they were wearing chill outfits like yours, you felt relief in your heart, like a big weight lifting up, those you will stick to them all evening that was decided. They were his friend to that mysterious guy that you only remember the first letter D. So the friends of D were making you feel at home and asking you random stuff not pressuring you but making you feel so comfortable, so maybe D will not be a prick after all if his friends are this nice. One of his friends, Scott, directed you towards the true star of the party .... THE WINE !!

As soon as you tested it your taste buds went into paradise, the sweet texture, the raspberry taste that was prominent, you liked it right away and wanted to have more. During the whole evening you end up maybe drinking more than you should have and food wasn't making it better. You weren't drunk like a crazy drunk. You just felt more relaxed and laughed with D' friends until you excused yourself because you wanted some water and there was none in the living room. Scott points at you in the direction of the kitchen and tells him you will be back in a sec. His friends were so nice and it felt like you've always known them, they have the same vibe as you and you were already planning on seeing them again this week.

What was strange is that after all this time you still haven't seen the host of the evening, you thought he was speaking with everyone but you would have met by now, you were with his friend after all.

In your thought, the glass of wine in your hand you didn't see the tall person in front of you as you entered the kitchen and kinda crashed into him, the glass of wine ruining his cream pullover. Fuck ... you watch the red spot trying to clean it but you made it worse.

You : Oh I'm so sorry I was in my thoughts, my lord come down here.

You close your fist on his pull and bring him towards the sink without even looking at him or asking him if it was okay. The dude just follows you without complaining, you turn the water, get the closest thing you could get to help and clean it. You were so focused on the spot that you didn't notice he had put his hands on your arms, very warm hands and his chest was firm.

You : Nah take it off I won't be able to take the wine off on you.

Stranger : It's okay really

You hear his voice for the first time and what a voice, sweet like honey but deep as well, from what you could pick from it, he feels amused. You finally look up to see your interlocutor's face and you stay shocked at his, you couldn't react, you froze literally and your cheek went red ... he was handsome and you had way too many glasses of alcohol to behave like a normal being without being embarrassing. Trying your best to put some composure on you but of course he noticed it.

Stranger : We should introduce each other before you take off my clothes, don't you think ? He joked

You throw your name so quickly which made him giggle.

Stranger : Hi nice to meet I'm Daniel

He tried to shake your hand and that's where it hit you, Daniel !! Your neighbour Daniel, the host, the one with the wine !!! You were freaking out in your head but shook his hand

You : Oh I see, I was wondering where the host of the evening was, but I see hiding in the kitchen.

Dan : And I was wondering where the neighbour that my friend kept talking about was and invited me.

You were feeling the alcohol in you taking the place and you knew that the next phrase coming out of you will be out of character.

You : Well if I knew that you were this handsome and hiding here I would have come get water much sooner.

It was his turn to feel shy and scratch his hand, looking away from you he cleared his throat.

Dan : Well I know that's kinda impolite of me to not be with my guest but I've been on the phone all evening, it wasn't planned at all. I'm sorry, am I a bad neighbour ?

You : Don't apologize and you don't have to explain yourself, you are a busy man after all from what I saw. But not to sound too neat freak, your pull over might be ruined. I should be the one apologizing for that.

Dan : Oh it's okay it's not like it was my only clothes.

And with that he took it off, finally you whispered in your head, or by the face he just made you think it was in your head. Damnit ... again not in your head freaking wine

Dan : Ah I see you liked the wine ? I will give you some bottles then, free of charge in the house cause I'm a terrible host.

You both went silent, it wasn't awkward but he was curious about you and why you were looking at his chest like that ... he was wearing a white tee shirt underneath, not like he was naked.

For you it was the layered gold necklaces that threw you off, you loved men wearing jeweled jewelry especially because you had a thing for neck, large neck and god damn that an F1 driver had to have a large neck. You snapped out of it, almost feeling dizzy.

You : Wooo I'm sorry I zoned out ... I think it's the wine, I'm not a bad drinker but the raspberry touch in was my favorite.

You didn't notice you were getting closer to him, like night butterflies attracted to light, your hands were moving on their own, putting the wet tissue you had in one of your hands since you started cleaning his shirt, on the counter and bringing it to his necklaces playing with it. Daniel didn't move, he couldn't. It was like a flash of lightning was striking him down on his feet. He was looking at you helplessly, catching the counter with his hand to keep you both balanced cause he felt like his legs were about to give him up at this instant. That were he takes the time to admire you, how beautiful you were with that sunset lightning hitting you

from the window. His secondhand automatically pushed away the hair that was stopping him to look at your pretty face.

You : I don't know what's happening, you breath out

He heard you thought

Dan : I don't know either but it's not like I want to stop.

You lock eyes with each other and in a last movement you close your fingers against his necklaces, bringing him closer to you, collapsing your lips together, the taste of wine was intoxicating. He responds to your kiss instantly, slowly catching your lips and making you forget every kiss you had before him. You both were in sync, kissing slowly but deeply that it was sloppy. His hands were now on your hip, not letting you go and you were glad anyway cause you just couldn't have enough of this man. The romantic kiss turns to a more ferocious one, bringing teeth and tongue to the party. He was making you moan at every chance he gets cause it was already obsessed with the sound that was leaving your body. You were soon out of breath and had to make your lungs full of oxygens again so you were the first to break the kiss not without having him complaining with a groan.

Your eyes still close, you take a huge amount of air.

You : That was ...

You didn't had the time to finish

Dan : Unexpected

You both : but so good

You both opened your eyes at the same time, they were different from earlier, dark and full of lust for each other.

After a little while catching your breath you were both fighting the urge to kiss again but control yourself.

Dan : Well I'm so glad my friend invited you, they said I needed to know my neighbours, I thought they would invite everyone but I guess they only saw you.

You : Well I'm glad to have forced myself to come even if I didn't want to.

You both laughed and his hands joined yours on the counter, first caressing your skin before intertwining your fingers.

Dan : So do you think it would be impolite of me to just tell everyone to leave ?

That picked the curiosity in you

You : Perhaps yes, since you didn't even show up but I might have an idea.

Dan : I'm listening ...

You : You could simply eclipse yourself by the back door with a couple of wine bottles and I join you outside so we can go to my place and finish whatever is going on between us right now.

Dan : Ouuhhh I dig that plan a lot.

He quickly catch oyu lips before leaving them again

Dan : Meet you outside at 5 ?

You : Yes

You find your best lie to excuse yourself from Daniel's friends, telling them that the wine was getting into your head and that you needed to go home, it wasn't technically a lie though. Of course they ask you if you needed someone to come with you until you're home safe but you reassure them that it was only 200meters away and they let you go.

You felt like a teenager again, meeting Daniel outside of his own house, ruining as quick as you could to go back to your house and spend the most scandalous night you ever experienced with a man.

Masterlist

[bwoahtastic]

pirate au or demigod au

Okay look I am a big Greek/Roman mythology nerd so heyoo demi god AU it is jsjs Look this is mostly gonna be who is a son of who but there might be more sjsj (also imma go with the greek gods cos I find them more easier jsjs)

~~~~~~

- Lewis is a son of Aphrodite (goddess of beauty and love) f'ing fight me. That man is gorgeous af and insanely sweet and he just is an Aphrodite child okay

- Valtteri is the son of Dionysus, god of wine. His dad is quite bummed he seems to pick vodka and beer over wine tho

- Max is son of Hades, but a good dude really. Defo not the 'I like hanging out with dead people' kinda guy but he has that dark background

- Alex is the son of Tyche, godess of Good luck. Look this is just me manifesting he will onr day have some luck when racing. Not sure what he did to piss his mom off but it better be solved sooner rather than later.

- George: son of Athena, godess of wisdom. Come on, the PowerPoint? His endless stream of FACTS? You cant change my mind on this one

- Nicholas is the son of Hemera, goddess of the day. The world lights up when he is around. Look basicaly he comes across as a more subdued Daniel Ricciardo so this will make sense when you see who I picked for Dan.

- Lando is the son of Poseidon. His Salmon pose for after the races is secretely a tribute to his dad. 100% secretely speaks dolphin, hence why he is not very good at English

- Carlos is the son of Hecate, godess of magic. Somehow always seems to get himself out of bad situations. Don't get on his bad side, he always has some tricks up his sleeve

- Checo: son of Hephaestus, god of blacksmith and fire. His handiness with machines is a real plus when it comes to racing. Definitely go to him if your printer is acting up.

- Lance is son of Hermes, god of roadways, merchants and thieves. Has everything he wants but will not stop, determined but loyal to the people he cares for. All round good guy who will offer you favors without asking twice.

- Charles is the son of Nike, godess of victory. It explains quite a bit no? Sometimes pisses off his mum and subsequently has a bad race lol

- Sebastian: son of Zeus. A gentle soul but there is a storm brewing inside. Also takes after his dad in not so subtly making heart eyes at all (Finnish) guys.

- Kimi is the son of Hypnos, god of sleep. His secret superpower is falling asleep literally anywhere + he can make you forget anything by just staring you down.

- Antonio is the son of Hera, godesses of family and marriage. An absolute sweetheart and will subtly keep an eye on everyone.

- Kevin is the son of Nemesis, godess of revenge. He is a sweetheart but if you hurt him or his friends, you bet he is not going to rest until he kicks your ass

- Romain: son of Momus, god of blame. Need I say more?

- Pierre is the son of Demeter, godess of agriculture. A true sweetheart who is caring by nature. Take from him what he desires and he will go absolute bananas tho

- Daniil is the son of Janus, god of choices and doorways. Seems to be always stuck between two paths. Struggles making up his mind and can go from 0 to 100 real quick.

- Daniel is a son of Apollo - I mean Apollo is the god of that only music but also of the son and I'm still very much convinced the sun shines brighter when Dan smiles

- Esteban is the son of Ares, god of War. I think Este is a sweetheart, but he lowkey has a dark, brooding quality about him?

Could defo do this for past drivers or FE drivers too lemme know jsjs

[phantomphangphucker]

Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Danny Phantom, Venom (Movie 2018) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Danny Fenton/Valerie Gray, Jack Fenton/Maddie Fenton, Dan Lewis & Anne Weying Characters: Danny Fenton, Jazz Fenton, Maddie Fenton, Jack Fenton, Dan Lewis (Venom 2018), Valerie Gray, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, Clockwork (Danny Phantom), Guys in White (Danny Phantom), Anne Weying, Amorpho (Danny Fantom), Box Ghost (Danny Phantom), Nicolai Technus, Johnny 13 (Danny Phantom), Skulker (Danny Phantom), Dan's Eyebrows Might As Well Be Their Own Character At This Point, Ember McLain, Eddie Brock, Lunch Lady (Danny Phantom), Dash Baxter Additional Tags: Danny Phantom focused, Ectober (Danny Phantom), Blood and Gore, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, Injury Recovery, Hospitalization, Car Accidents, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ectobiology, Surgery, Amputation, Amity Park Is Danny's Lair, Dan Lewis Is Just A Really Good Dude, Mentions of Murder, mentions of cannibalism, Identity Reveal, ghost prince Danny, Philosophy, mentions of dan, Bad Puns, Broken Bones, becoming more ghostly, Feral Behavior, Worldbuilding, The G.I.W. Fucking Shit Up For Everyone Again, Eddie is having a... time, ClockWork Out Here Being A Little Shit, Jack And Maddie Getting Their Minds Blown, Eddie The Living Trash Fire, Look At Me Ending Nearly Ever Chapter With Cliffhangers Series: Part 14 of Ectobers Ectoplasmic Splatters, Part 1 of Phantomized Summary:

This is honestly expected at this point for both Danny and Dr. Lewis. Something goes horribly wrong, someone winds up horribly injured, and someone's left patching up a reckless idiot.

[iamapoopmuffin]

For anyone who cares, I made some base info files for my Nanbaka OCs after joining the fan Discord because they were very encouraging over there when it came to OCs. It’s really just the most basic things about them, plus additional info where there is any (the blank additional infos may be added to eventually, depending on OC discussions I get into with friends). This one is guards only. I might not get the inmates or civilians done tbh (I included criminal charges for the inmates and I only have like 4 of them decided) but for my very nice friends, here you go!

Friedrich ‘Freddy’ Albtraum

Theme: Horror Movies

Gender: Male

Age: 31

Nationality: German

Height: 6′2

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Brown

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Guard

Building: 6

Additional Info: Facial scars. Freddy is specifically inspired physically by Freddy Kruger and The Phantom of the Opera.

Inyoka Atherisi

Theme: Bush Viper

Gender: Male

Age: 24

Nationality: Angolan

Height: 6′0

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Pink, purple and yellow

Eye Colour: Emerald Green

Occupation: Guard

Building: 3

Additional Info: Born into crimelord family, disowned and disinherited when it was discovered he planned to betray them to the authorities, he was left on the run and struggling to survive for several years. Became a guard with minimal prior education. Has two elder siblings (Nakahi and Maciji) and two younger (Ular and Noha). All their names mean snake. Currently lives in Japan under the status of a long-term resident following an asylum claim at age 17.

Torney Barnes

Theme: Owl

Gender: Male

Age: 29

Nationality: English

Height: 5′11

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Brown and white

Eye Colour: Brown

Occupation: Guard

Building: 4

Additional Info: Engaged to be married, expecting a child. Child will be named Sova.

Midrab Chauve-Souris

Theme: Livingstone Fruit Bat

Gender: Male

Age: 25

Nationality: Comoran

Height: 5′7

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Black

Eye Colour: Red and orange

Occupation: Guard

Building: 12

Additional Info: Raised in a society that looked down on his family situation and physical appearance. Was bullied at school and was one of the victims abducted by a serial killer, but was one of the victims still alive when the killer was caught and arrested. Lived in a small and angry village, a good hour by bike from his school.

Giuliette Cirilli

Theme: Steel

Gender: Female

Age: 28

Nationality: Italian

Height: 5′8

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Black

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Guard

Building: 5

Additional Info: May have feelings for a canon character.

George Ctesias

Theme: Unicorn

Gender: Male

Age: 38

Nationality: Scottish

Height: 6′3

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: White

Eye Colour: Silver

Occupation: Guard, former deputy supervisor

Building: 1, formerly 3

 Additional Info: His wife (Wambui) and children (Andrew and Doris) were killed by members of the Atherisi crime family when Wambui’s meddling made her a potential threat. He strongly dislikes Inyoka.

Adelie DeVito

Theme: Penguin

Gender: Male

Age: 42

Nationality: American

Height: 4′10

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Black and orance

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Deputy Supervisor

Building: 7

Additional Info: Adelie’s left leg is prosthetic. Adelie is married with children. His wife’s name is Anastasia, and his children are Audrina, Apollo (twins) and Avis. From Alaska.

Kodiak Dodici

Theme: Kodiak Bear

Gender: Male

Age: 32

Nationality: American

Height: 6′4

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Brown

Eye Colour: Brown

Occupation: Deputy Supervisor

Building: 12

Additional Info: From Alaska.

Octavius ‘Tavvi’ Galerella

Theme: Mongoose

Gender: Male

Age: 23

Nationality: American

Height: 5′9

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Dirty blond

Eye Colour: Golden-yellow

Occupation: Guard

Building: 8

Additional Info: Tavvi has grown up fighting and competing for attention and approval. His parents put pressure on him and his brothers to be the best of the best in their fields of work. Tavvi has seven elder brothers (Penrose, Neil, Maximilian, Bogart, Lewis, Grayson and Phoebus), all of whom are considered to be greatly talented, or at least compared to him, according to his parents. From Hawaii. Gets on poorly with all the snake guards.

K. Kachi Gigseol

Theme: Magpie

Gender: Male

Age: 22

Nationality: Korean

Height: 5′10

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Black and white

Eye Colour: Purple

Occupation: Educational officer

Building: 3

Additional Info: An orphan. Helps look after his sick and disabled brother, Magwi, when he’s home. His income from Nanba is the only income the family has, so he cannot afford to find a job closer to home. Has feelings for Dan-Su.

Kujito Hachimori

Theme: Peacock

Gender: Male

Age: 35

Nationality: Japanese

Height: 6′0

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Blue and green

Eye Colour: Green

Occupation: Deputy Supervisor

Building: 8

Additional Info: Later arrested for sexual assault and interned in the underground cells.

Hachiko Haibu

Theme: Bee

Gender: Female

Age: 26

Nationality: Japanese

Height: 5′6

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Black and yellow

Eye Colour: Brown

Occupation: Guard

Building: 8

Additional Info:

Ruth Handley

Theme: None

Gender: Female

Age: 34

Nationality: American

Height: 6′4

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Red

Eye Colour: Yellow

Occupation: Supervisor

Building: 5

Additional Info: Attracted to one of the guards at the men’s prison. Ruth is my only USA guard whose home state is unknown.

Rob Homaru

Theme: Lobster

Gender: Male

Age: 27

Nationality: Japanese

Height: 6′4

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Red

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Guard

Building: 10

Additional Info: Burns easily in the sun.

Meigui Huaban

Theme: Nature, flowers

Gender: Female

Age: 26

Nationality: Chinese

Height:

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Pink and spring green

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Guard

Building: 5

Additional Info: Has the feelings for a canon character.

Kijanka Jedenlilia

Theme: Tadpole

Gender: Male

Age: 27

Nationality: Polish

Height: 5′7

Blood Type: AB

Hair Colour: Grey-blue

Eye Colour: Grey

Occupation: Guard

Building: 1

Additional Info: Has an older brother, Zada. Recently married to Simone, who he met during their time as guards or trainees. Developed phobia of crossing over water during their honeymoon.

Simone Jedenlilia

Theme: Salmon

Gender: Female

Age: 26

Nationality: English

Height:  5′8

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Pink and orange

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Supervisor

Building: 1

Additional Info: Recently married to Kijanka, who she met during their time as guards or trainees. Maiden name is Ghoti.

Zada Jedenlilia

Theme: Frog

Gender: Male

Age: 31

Nationality: Polish

Height: 5′8

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Green, lime-yellow, light brown

Eye Colour: Grey

Occupation: Guard

Building: 10

Additional Info: Kijanka’s elder brother. Zada has a birthmark on his forehead, to the left, and at the bottom of his mouth. He used to take part in jumping and sprinting events for his country for the Olympics. He earned at least one medal, but never gold. Also he likes chocolate.

Bruce Kang

Theme: Kangaroo

Gender: Male

Age: 26

Nationality: Australian

Height: 6′3

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Brown

Eye Colour: Pink

Occupation: Guard

Building: 5

Additional Info:

Kamita Kazechi

Theme: Weasel, Kamaitachi

Gender: Male

Age: 27

Nationality: Japanese

Height: 5′6

Blood Type: AB

Hair Colour: Orange

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Deputy Supervisor

Building: 9

Additional Info: Uses a chain scythe as a weapon, can create wind blasts with the movement.

Silence Le Blanc

Theme: Mouse

Gender: Male

Age: 24

Nationality: French

Height: 5′6

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: White, brown

Eye Colour: Red

Occupation: Guard

Building: 1

Additional Info: Best friends with Leon.

Lei Liao

Theme: Mysticism, crystals

Gender: Female

Age: 20

Nationality: Chinese

Height: 5′7

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Purple, blue

Eye Colour: Grey

Occupation: Guard

Building: 6

Additional Info:

Shetland MacNiuma

Theme: Shetland Pony

Gender: Male

Age: 24

Nationality: Scottish

Height: 5′3

Blood Type: AB

Hair Colour: Platinum blond

Eye Colour: Pink

Occupation: Guard

Building: 2

Additional Info: Shetland has vitiligo. He is able to play the bagpipes. His favourite song is Toxic by Britney Spears.

Tanuki Matsuyama

Theme: Tanuki, raccoon

Gender: Female

Age: 27

Nationality: Japanese

Height: 5′8

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Blonde, brown

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Supervisor

Building: 9

Additional Info: Also probably has the feelings for a canon dude because I have no self control.

Kurage Nomura

Theme: Jellyfish

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Nationality: Japanese

Height: 6′0

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Purple, blue, pink

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Guard

Building: 9

Additional Info: Loves gardening, gives names to his plants. Carries a taser. Hates everyone, very anti-social.

Roheline Palveta

Theme: Praying Mantis

Gender: Female

Age: 24

Nationality: Croatian

Height: 5′4

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Green

Eye Colour: Hazel

Occupation: Guard

Building: 8

Additional Info: Pregnant widow. Likes to hug. Brother in law killed her husband, Lusk. Baby shall be named Branimira. Often found on the ceiling. Likes to hug. Trust me, that’s important enough to mention twice.

Kameron Parson

Theme: Chameleon

Gender: Male

Age: 29

Nationality: Malagasy

Height: 5′10

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Blue, green, orange

Eye Colour: Green

Occupation: Guard

Building: 7

Additional Info: One of those people who accidentally scares the shit out of people because they don’t notice him.

Leon Prideaux

Theme: Lion

Gender: Male

Age: 26

Nationality: French

Height: 5′4

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Gold

Eye Colour: Brown

Occupation: Guard

Building: 2

Additional Info: Best friends with Silence.

Ares Provato

Theme: Lamb

Gender: Male

Age: 27

Nationality: Greek

Height: 5′11

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: White

Eye Colour: Pink

Occupation: Guard

Building: 9

Additional Info: Tends to bully his colleague, Sam. Considers Kurage his best friend.

Dan-Su Qiangda

Theme: Panda

Gender: Female

Age: 25

Nationality: Chinese

Height: 4′0

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Black and white

Eye Colour: Bamboo green

Occupation: Supervisor

Building: 13

Additional Info: Can kick the ass of any of my male guards no problem. (I love the trope of tiny but powerful I’m sorry). Always has at least one black eye. Has feelings for Kachi.

Florentino Rosewater

Theme: Flamingo

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Nationality: Italian

Height: 5′7

Blood Type: AB

Hair Colour: Pink

Eye Colour: Blue

Occupation: Guard

Building: 3

Additional Info: Falls for any and every scam.

Gerry Rothschild

Theme: Giraffe

Gender: Male

Age: 34

Nationality: Chadian

Height: 7′3

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Yellow and brown

Eye Colour: Brown

Occupation: Guard

Building: 11

Additional Info:

Merlin Scarlet

Theme: Parrot

Gender: Male

Age: 26

Nationality: Australian

Height: 6′1

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Red, green, blue, black

Eye Colour: Orange

Occupation: Guard

Building: 11

Additional Info:

Hesper Seltii

Theme: Tarantula

Gender: Female

Age: 30

Nationality: Brazilian

Height: 6′0

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Brown

Eye Colour: Red

Occupation: Deputy Supervisor

Building: 8

Additional Info:

Sam Serket

Theme: Scorpion

Gender: Male

Age: 22

Nationality: German-Egyptian

Height: 5′5

Blood Type: AB

Hair Colour: Red

Eye Colour: Sand-brown

Occupation: Rookie guard, later medical officer

Building: 9, later central

Additional Info: Single father to a 1-year old named Lazuli. His parents look after her while Sam is working since as far as he knows, there’s no staff creche at Nanba.

Shu Shisan

Theme: Rat

Gender: Male

Age: 20

Nationality: Chinese

Height: 5′9

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Brown

Eye Colour: Red

Occupation: Rookie Guard

Building: 13

Additional Info: Gets easily flustered around attractive people. May have feelings for Seitarou, but if anyone who hates OC/Canon couples asks, he has feelings for Silence.

Kakashi Sutenoya

Theme: Scarecrow

Gender: Male

Age: 30

Nationality: Japanese

Height: 5′4

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Straw yellow

Eye Colour: Purple

Occupation: Guard

Building: 6

Additional Info:

Mateo Torojo

Theme: Bull

Gender: Male

Age: 24

Nationality: Spanish

Height: 6′3

Blood Type: AB

Hair Colour: Brown and gold

Eye Colour: Gold

Occupation: Guard

Building: 4

Additional Info: Very shy.

Keikilani Umikumakahi

Theme: Nature, greenery

Gender: Female

Age: 28

Nationality: American

Height: 5′5

Blood Type: O

Hair Colour: Brown

Eye Colour: Pink

Occupation: Supervisor

Building: 11

Additional Info: From Hawaii. Also has feels for a canon character from the men’s prison oops.

Marus van der Zee

Theme: Walrus

Gender: Male

Age: 58

Nationality: Dutch

Height: 6′10

Blood Type: B

Hair Colour: Grey

Eye Colour: Unknown

Occupation: Guard

Building: 13

Additional Info: Has a loving husband, Ivan, and a daughter, Annika. Happy family. (Ivan and Annika both belong to other people.) Would usually be drawn with his eyes closed, hence the unknown for the colour.

Violine Vixamar

Theme: None

Gender: Female

Age: 25

Nationality: Haitian

Height: 5′3

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: Black and gold

Eye Colour: Gold

Occupation: Deputy Supervisor

Building: 5

Additional Info: May have feelings for one of the men’s prison guards.

Zecora Zweilous

Theme: Zebra

Gender: Female

Age: 29

Nationality: German

Height: 5′9

Blood Type: A

Hair Colour: White and Black

Eye Colour: Silver

Occupation: Supervisor

Building: 2

Additional Info:

[zykaben]

a81 liveblog part 5

Starting right off with Melody, fuck yeah!!

Okay ngl when Melody went “Alexa” I thought she meant a fucking Amazon Alexa and was about to just flip my shit

Oh wow they sound so happy?? Like, Melody is laughing and Alexa is teasing her and you can hear the smiles in their voices as they speak and that’s it, i’m shipping them, you can’t fucking stop me

hvdssdjb I love how silly Alexa is being, I adore her

The way Alexa says “Anything?” is having me prep for a really good goof

Waitwait Alexa saying the PJS, is she—

oH MY GOD THEY’RE IN LOVE. THEY’RE IN LOVE OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! OH THEY’RE IN LOVE AND I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH OH!!!!!!!!!

I GOTTA PAUSE, CAN’T HEAR OVER HOW MUCH IM SMILING IM!!!!! I WASN’T READY FOR THIS, DID NOT EXPECT IT, I AM SO HAPPY

Okay we getting back into it now

Oh, poor Dan. How late is it for you...

oH IS HE CALLING TANYA????

Oh, it’s Mark!!!

“It’s been, let me check my watch, yeah it’s been about 12 billion years since you’ve called me.”—oH A SASSY LAD???? WE LOVE A SASSY LAD!!!!

OH I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED FROM THE CLOSINGS BUT MARK IS SO SNARKY. Oh I care him already

Dan is writing a novel???? Good for him!!! What is it about??? Dan,,,, elaborate,,,,,

“Like you don’t have the creative energy left in you.”—WOW A MOOD

“Oh, and I have a pet!“—YES!!!!! OH GOD HE NAMED THE RAT RATTY IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS BOY

“Don’t you dare talk Ratty about that, it’s an apt and noble name.“—GET HIS ASS DAN!!!!!!!!

God I love Mark and Dan’s friendship!!! Real good

bjsdhbj neither of them like sports, i love them

Ohhhhh Tanya is worried about Dan,,,, she reached out to Mark to see if Dan is okay,,,,,, my gal,,,,,

DAMN MARK. HE’S JUST FUCKING ROASTING BOTH DAN AND TANYA, HUH. JESUS DUDE

Wh, why does she hate Mark??? Well. Mark’s kinda snarky but like,,,,, having your friend and your partner not get along SUCKS.

Ohhh Dan calling in smart favors. Trying to get some DIRT. Smart lad. oH AND GETTING INFO ON MELODY P L E A S E GIVE ME THE MELODY INFO MARK

OH MARK HOPPING RIGHT TO IT, I LOVE HE

Dan not giving reasons,,,, inch resting,,,,,

“Okay, I won’t press it. But if you ever want to tell me, or if you ever need somebody to talk to… just let me know, okay?”—M A R K IM CRYING MY B O Y

JHJDSHKJSBADF JOHN SMITH, BULLSHIT, THAT’S NOT YOUR NAME

Talking to this man is like talking to a brick wall!! Literally nothing unless you ask!!! Elaborate you asshole!!!

Mr Smith your vibes are so fucking sketchy

nO THEY’RE TRYING TO COVER UP JESSE LEWIS’ EXISTENCE????? NO NO NO NO I LOVE JESSE

NO THEY’RE TRYING TO ERASE MY BOY

“Perhaps you’re hysterical.”—WOW. MR SMITH I WILL DO A MURDER UPON YOU I FUCKING HATE THIS MAN MORE THAN I HATE DAVENPORT AND THAT’S FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING I AM SO FUCKING FURIOUS THAT I WANT TO THROW THIS FUCKER INTO ORBIT AND WATCH AS HE CAN’T BREATHE AND THE ICE AND FROST CREEPS IN AND ALL HE SEES IS THE VAST UNCARING VOID OF SPACE AS HE FINALLY BREATHES HIS LAST WITH LUNGS OF ICE AND DIES ALONE AND FORGOTTEN

Fuck John Smith, I fucking hate John Smith

“Perhaps you should be concerned about what this great and terrible power could do to you.”—I can’t tell if this is a warning/advice or a threat but I’m not feeling charitable so it sounds like a threat, so fuck you John

Yo what the fuckkkkkkkkkk

Wh. muSIC?????? HELLO???????????? AFTER THE POWER GOES OUT???? UHHHH

Oh Ratty!!!!!!!! my boi,,,,

DAN GAVE RATTY PEACH COBBLER. ALSO I HAVE THE TRANSCRIPT TO READ WHILE LISTENING AND OH MY GODDDDD DAN PET RATTY IM GONNA SOB

Damn Mark you work fast

sdjhasfj Mark you’re a dick, i love you

SO THE HOUSING HISTORICAL COMMITTEE OF NEW YORK STATE DOESN’T EXIST HUH. NOR DOES MELODY’S ORGANIZATION, H U H. FUCKING CULT SHIT, I FUCKING KNOW IT IN MY BONES, DAN GET O U T

the building doesn’t even exist wtffffff

oh my fuck Mark is so COOL doing this lil hunt, I love this man oh my god, he’s getting the INFO

“Yeah, it’s one big, quasi-legal, corporate circle jerk”—Mark I love you

“The shelf that contained the Baas Holdings records was a victim of a, in her words ‘localized fire’ around twenty years ago”—Oh my god this mystery is so JUICY I love it

OH MY GOD MARK FOUND MELODY AND NOW DAN HAS HER NUMBER DO WE GET TO HEAR HIM AND MELODY TALK IM SO HYPE

OH MY GOD DAN TELL MARK MORE DETAILS. DAN YOU’RE A GOOD BOY BUT BE NICE TO MARK

OH!!!!!!!!

OH HE CALLING!!!!!!

OH IT’S RINGING

NO DON’T END THE EPISODE THERE YOU DICKS

Overall impressions: Fuck yeah Melody, and FUCK YOU MR SMITH I FUCKING HATE YOU. Mark is quickly becoming a favorite and the plot is thickening and hnnNNNNNNNNNG I’M EXCITED

[boysthatgovroomvroom]

I was tagged by the wonderful @formulola thank you so much hun☺️

Would die for you

Lando Norris - I don't think an explanation is needed here

Sebastian Vettel - My first f1 crush and the reason I really got into f1. Such a nice guy and I hope hell have a seat next year 😩

Daniel Ricciardo - one of the funniest dudes on the grid. With him f1 started to appeal to me more and more because he had laughs and wasn't that serious all the time

Love you but wouldn't die for you

George Russell- Give this man a good car ffs. He deserves better. So talented and such a nice person

I like you

Alex Albon - Protect this bean at all costs. He deserves better than red bull. Get him away from that toxic team

Don't know enough to have an opinion

Antonio Giovinazzi

Romain Grosjean

Checo Perez

Valterri Bottas

Nicolas Latifi

Esteban Ocon

Used to hate but now I don't

Lewis Hamilton - I used to really, like really dislike him. I still don't like him as a driver but he's warmed up to me when I saw how he supports all these charities and of course BLM

Used to love but now I dont

Charles Leclerc - I don't think we have to talk about this now

Carlos Sainz - I didn't love him but he has shown with his actions and statements that I can't support him

Never liked

Kevin Magnussen - idk... Just never vibed with him.. Kinda dangerous tho

Lance Stroll - I know some people really like him but I just can't get warmed up to him. Maybe this year will change anything

Max Verstappen - just not for me. He was okay when Dan was his team mate. Now I just think he's annoying

Y'all just vibe, you're cool

Kimi Raikkonnen - he's the ice man. He's cool. He just drives as a Hobby. Leave him alone he knows what he's doing.

Daniil Kvyat - the torpedo. So much sadness with him. He has gone through too much.

Pierre Gasly - poor poor bean. Always hope he does well so RBR can suck it

I tag @huskyandbeautiful and everyone else who wants to do it

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 9

🚨trigger warning: mentions of rape in my notes🚨

"SECRETS"

Notes by me

- the chief from abydos! Also daniels father in law :)

- no glasses!Daniel in this scene

- I love how dedicated Daniel is to his space family and their culture😌 like this random Egyptian planet was like I'm gonna keep you! And he said okie dokie

- "I couldnt possibly be safer than in the company of tealc" AKDEOSNDJSJSSKA

- Jack wants to go back too lol

- Daniel back in his robes 💕

- back home for daniel! To abydos!

- Bodyguard!tealc

- apologizing to sha'res dad for not being able to find her yet 😟 its not your fault babe!

- SHA'RE??? YOUVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME WHAT THE FUCK

- tealc:

- shes pregnant and that is....really bad. If its one of the goaulds that raped her. This got dark real quick

- "husband!" "My daniel" I CANT HANDLE THIS IM ALREADY GOING INSANE

- he doesnt want to bring his hopes up that its actually her 😭

- hes shocked but like.....i would be too

- I was right its apophis kid :\ this so fucked up

- Host Baby??? Big Yikes

- okay I'm gonna say this right fucking now before i watch any more. If Daniel blames her and gets mad at her for being raped and getting pregnant WITHOUT her consent than i will personally come thru this screen and slap the fuck out of him

- meanwhile! Jack and Sam bonding time!

- SAMS DAD

- sha're thinking Daniel wont love her anymore :( she better be wrong or I'm throwing hands

- she said the goauld is Amunet? Is that the dog goddess? Or the crocodile? I'm getting my Egyptian gods mixed up

- Daniel sitting outside to Process™

- "hasnt she gone thru enough?" My brain stopped working I'm so happy hes not not blaming her. Writers for once youre doing something right

- man hes really emotional about this

- tealcs right they need to take her anyway for her own safety.

- do u think he sympathizes with her bc hes been raped too? Its not said but I feel like thats what it is. He knows it wasnt her fault. And that also means they can comfort each other about what happened to them😟bc they understand

- okay why is sams dad being a total dill hole

- "Ive heard nothing about you, sir." Jack youre not off to a great first impression

- Jack making sam smile with sly jokes

- her dad knows she be lyin about her job

- he wants her to go to space HAHA if only he knew. His tiny brain would explode

- Daniel said he loves her no matter what and then gave her a big hug im LOSING MY MIND

- are we keeping the baby??? Am I gonna see Dad!Daniel and mom!sha're ??? 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

- micheal shanks eyes are super blue in this episode for my viewing pleasure only

- protective!Daniel 😍

- I'm just remembering how they met and when she showed him the forbidden drawings in the caves and they spent days together just sharing knowledge. When he found out they were married(in her culture) and just completely accepted it. When he saved her bc he realised he was in love. When he stayed on abydos so that he could live a full life with her and her people because he felt like he belonged. I'm fine

- parents need to ask before they set up things like job interviews. I have personal experience with this and im full of rage

- this reporter literally having a recording of Jack talking about the stargate and Jack flatly denying it. Zero fucks given

- Daniel saying he wont force sha're into anything. Bc up to this point shes been forced into so much!! He knows he needs to let her make her own choices!!! He gets it!!!

- im sorry both Daniel and sha're are so pretty in his episode. My bisexual brain is just having a real good time looking👀

- I REALLY really love it when she calls him "my dan-yel" ❤❤❤

- the SGC has a mole???

- LABOR somebody boil water

- oh its my goauld mans with the sick earrings

- Daniel helping her give birth. Sitting behind her and helping her breathe. I'm love

- "this is where we hid from Ra remember?" Ajdjsisnana thats such a cool detail

- he'll never leave her again there goes my heart

- "It's O'Neill. With two L's. Theres another colonel O'Neil, but he has no sense of humor at all."

- dont you hate when youre about to uncover a huge government secret and then immediately get hit by a car

- shooting the zat gun into the camera was a cool directing choice 🔥

- sam: so I'm getting a medal for my service this week! Cool right?

Jacob Carter: I have cancer

- he could not have been any more blunt

- ok dude cant you just accept the fact that she cant tell you what her job? Dont you know what top secret means? Cant you just be proud of her for what she does already???? Dick

- "I will always love you!!"

- she is scared she will lose Daniel and the baby :(

- its a boy! 💙💙

- the goauld is back in control oh god Daniel run

- shes actually pretty scary as a goauld

- yeah ok shoot the woman who just gave birth tealc YEESH

- that was a good idea to frame Heru'hur tho

- Daniel hesitating to leave her again. My heart is breaking 😢

- they saved the baby at least

- poor sha're didnt even get to see her son 😔

- bringing the baby back to the grandfather was a good idea😊

- this baby is SO SO cute

- is Daniel a stepdad now. Is he gonna come back and play catch with the kid when hes older. Is he gonna fully adopt him. I want him to fully adopt him

- Jack blaming himself for the reporters death. You gotta stop doing this to yourself man

- black shirt Daniel 👀👀👀👀

- HAHA tealc shoving the jaffa into the vortex lmaooo

- "you dare challenge me?"

"I was thinking about it"

- WHEN JACK GRABS HIS KNIFE REAL QUICK AND SPEARS IT INTO APPOPHIS HAND

- she definitely saw them and didnt say anything

- "are you alright?"

"No. No im not.........but I will be."

"She looked directly at us, Daniel jackson. And yet she did not reveal our position." YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LADS. Theres still hope for my girl. She can fight this I believe in her ✊😤

- I will say it again tho. This storyline for her is very fucked up. No excuses, its just a bit over used in sci fi for the women characters to have surprise pregnancies.

~

Whump under the cut

Tealc whump: fought with jaffa

Daniel jackson whump: shocked, emotional, crying, forced kneeling, back handed

Sam carter whump: emotional , crying

🎶listening to You Are The Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis 🎶 in honor of Daniel and sha're making me lose my collective mind

No glasses!Daniel for most of the episode

[stratamuzak]

Interview with Voltagehawk

STRATA: What artists in particular you are drawn to (alive or deceased) that you listen to for particular moods? Such as happy/sad/contemplative/etc… Explain why you might listen to one artist for a particular mood.

CHASE AROCHA When I want to feel inspired I listen to a lot of the different projects of Mike Patton. Be it Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Peeping Tom, or Tomahawk, the range of styles of music is so diverse that I’ve been listening for like 15 years and I haven’t gotten bored yet, haha. When I want to relax or chill, I love BadBadNotGood, an amazing jazz artist doing incredible arrangements all in a hip-hop context. It’s great! Or Ray Lynch, I really love his writing and use of counterpoint melody. Then if I’m getting hyped I put on something like Dying Fetus or Vitriol, or Maximum the Hormone. And any other time I’m blaring Kamasi Washington, Robert Glasper and Sturgill Simpson.

DAN FENTON I think a lot of the time music finds my mood. Sort of more a spiritual or cosmic connection. When I was a kid my mom would make us watch musicals if we stayed home sick from school. Jokes was on her because I hated school but I loved learning musical scores and how to write dynamic parts and movements. The fact that people like Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, Frank Sinatra or Marlon Brand were also amazing actors only added to that unlikely education. I learned how to really feel music between that and the intense very bloody hymns we had to sing in church. I understand the sentiment but that shit is harder than a lot of black metal. “Are you washed in the blood of the lamb”. Hard core shit. Sorry, I digress. During the making of our most recent record which is called Electric Thunder and set for release later this year or early next (hard to navigate releases with all this pandemic shit) I listened exclusively to film scores, classical music and radio evangelists. I am not religious but I grew up in a preacher’s home and when I needed to get my creative push and anger at its peak, I listened to preachers who were clearly greed driven and motivated by the lust for power. It made my adrenaline rush in anger and it came out in the recording for sure. I am a huge fan of Hans Zimmer and Vangelis. Each of these artists move me in powerful ways. The juxtaposition of darkness and light both in traditional instrumentation and experimental synth based work. Just musical giants. When I am feeling frustrated about the social issues I see everyday in my East Nashville neighborhood I listen to KRS-One, Kamasi Washington, Outkast. A lot of protest music. I am in love with band IDLES from the UK. Such powerful lyrics tackling issues like the need for male vulnerability, equality for all and the  seemingly ironic brutal beat down of toxic masculinity. That band is great if you’re happy, mad, sad, whatever.

STRATA: Do you have a process you go through prior to writing, playing, and even performing?

CHASE AROCHA I do a lot of breathing exercises like the Wim Hof techniques. I have generalized anxiety disorder and I used to get horrible debilitating panic attacks, it helped me get into breathing and meditation. Anxiety will never go away but you learn ways to live with it and push through your panic. I think about how much this means to me and how long I’ve spent doing it, I try to see that I value myself as a person and then from that thinking I can just let go and play music. Only approaching it with love and not worrying about mistakes because that’s how we learn.

DAN FENTON The entire thing is one process. Like a heros journey of sorts. I listen and meditate everyday, I believe in a cosmic river of inspiration that flows from an energy that is and has always been. I believe if you listen hard enough and give yourself to the music the muse will send your mind transmissions that may only be a section of a song, or perhaps they are an entire album, but everyday I show up. A few years ago I read this book called The War Of Art, by Steven Pressfield. In this book he describes the invisible force he calls the Resistance. The Resistance may be things both “good or bad”, but they are anything that keeps you from showing up for your art. So I show up everyday, you can ask the dudes in the band, they receive a work tape maybe twice a week with new shit to try out. If I don’t feel that muse working I don’t force it, but I instead wait on further transmissions from the cosmic womb. All sounds crazy, but my story is crazy, so crazy makes the most sense. In the studio I have many processes. I found while recording vocals I perform better in complete darkness, I have realized how much I live inside my head and how active my imagination is and equally ADD my eyes are. So when I can’t see it brings to life the imagery and the passion of the song. I can see all those people I write about, all the landscapes, the love, lust, joy and pain. I also do some method stuff, keep things in my pockets pertaining to a character I may be portraying in a song. Wanna be Daniel Day Lewis shit.

STRATA: Your own current project, discuss the process your music went through as you built each layer. From beginning to the end of it. 

CHASE AROCHA This all started with our drummer Jarrad having a vision and going through trials and errors of finding the right people to execute that. Along the way Dan, Tyler, and I all came into the picture and that vision morphed into something we all felt was not even from us. Like we were an antenna receiving a signal and these riffs and lyrics quickly meshed into something I haven’t heard before. Part hard rock, part jazz, part punk and hardcore. All with this message of love and truth being the reason for living. To end the ones controlling our thoughts and dividing us or tribalism and greed. I feel like we made something worth listening to and that’s all I feel like you can really hope for.

DAN FENTON The self titled record that we have available now on all streaming platforms was two different profound stages in my life all in the making of one record. When we began, Jarrad and I partied a fuck ton, and I was descending into some serious personal shit with alcohol. It was bad, I couldn’t get through a day without way too high of a blood alcohol level. Before we finished vocals on the record, I stayed up one night working and drinking, perhaps I had never stopped from how many nights before, who fucking knows. Anyhow, I died for 9 minutes on the side porch of my house. Fully shut down, fucking dead. Mind you, I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t know how to lay off the bottle. Woke up in the ICU surrounded by my band, my wife and what few friends I had left. At that moment Voltagehawk became a complete family to me. I spent a stint in rehab (Jarrad drove me) and that was several years ago now. When I got out I went back to finish the record, make some amends and chase this thing out for real. So that was some info on the first record. The new Album which is a 13 song space odyssey named Electric Thunder, after our beloved Electric Thunder Studio owned and operated by our resident space wizard producer Geoff Piller, was not so dramatic. After I got my shit together and my mind cleared up I began to write everyday like a mad man. Song after song after song came like never before. I think we cut 15 songs out before we settled on the final 13. Our process as a band is often for myself or one of the other dudes to present a bare bones or often finished idea to the band and we run it through the Hawk Filter. The Hawk Filter is just the decomposition and reconstruction of every rough idea till it fits us. Which is silly to say because if we like, it we do it, not a matter of genre worship. Shit’s good, do it. Always do what’s best for the song.

STRATA: Can your music personally be an open door to breath and bend in the world of artistic exploration? In Other Words… how comfortable are you as an artist exploring other types of music and creating projects that might be totally  different than what you are creating now?

CHASE AROCHA There is so much great music in the world in so many styles, why shouldn’t we try to explore them all! I’m always trying something I haven’t done before, not always as a challenge, but I would hope it’s natural for people to do in art. We shouldn’t be the same people we were 2 years ago, let alone 10. I love jazz, Death Metal, and country music. If you can find a really fun and genuine way to blend those then that’s absolutely what you should do! Don’t be tied down to what kind of music you’re making and just make music.

DAN FENTON That’s all we do all day. Everything on this planet, and above it, and in it’s majestic seas and mountains, all these people of all the cultures of all the world and their energy and their culture all influence and musical inspiration is welcome. Our philosophy is never say no, and jump off the cliff, and pull yourself back up. Meaning: try all the musical options then settle on the one we believe is the most amazing. So much of our influence is from cinema and books, video games, you name it. I’ll pluck a support cable on every bridge I see ‘til I am dead just to see if it speaks to me. Sonically there are no fucking rules, and if you impose rules, fuck your rules. We love to create, to talk about creating and then to birth something new is beyond amazing.

STRATA: Are you open to change your style, genre even, and approach to how and what you create every time you enter a studio? Or do you find once you have a formula in place do you find it best to stay with what you know? Many times artists will change how they approach their songwriting and even their recording staff/producers.

CHASE AROCHA

Like I said before, I believe that you should just make music and with that should come constant experimentation. When we record we find sounds from all over the place. From children’s toy instruments, to skateboard wheels spinning to imitate rain. Our writing is kind of always evolving and changing. Dan is an amazing writer who literally has lyrics and melodies pouring out of his hands and face. Everyday he has new ideas and records and sends them to everyone. Jarrad is great at taking those riffs and making suggestions on how the structure could be of a song along with feel. I am obsessed with adding layers of guitars however I can, but I also write a lot and send tracks as well. Tyler is a tone junkie on the bass, filling in the bottom end and has such a great approach to being independent from the guitars with his lines. We send tracks back and forth to each other then we get in a room and flesh them out. The whole time in the process the songs are constantly changing and evolving into the sound we have. We are always open to change and never believe in the word No when discussing music and art. You try every idea and see what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes when one member has a vision of how a song should go and is trying to communicate that,  you should respect his idea and see it through. If it doesn’t work that’s okay, we tried!

DAN FENTON Voltagehawk is ever evolving. As it stands, we spend way too much time trying to pigeon hole what people will refer to our sound as. I don’t care what you call it as long as it moves you. I listen to everything from John Coltrane and Tom Waits to Napalm Death and Motorhead, Antonio Lucio Vivaldi to Kamasi Washington. IDLES and Bad Brains. If you refuse to evolve as an artist, experimenting, growing, trying new methods, all these elements then you cannot grow as a human being. Too many people are happy where they are, just okay, making the same music that their dads made and trying to cosplay some kind of yesteryear. We don’t do that shit, we’re us, that’s it. We grow, when you hear the Electric Thunder for the first time you will understand everything. If you burn some sage next to a photo of Carl Sagan while you listen to Electric Thunder, you will see the cosmic river in your minds eye. The world is full of people with a blockage in their brain. They cannot see that this bullshit we call a life is just a series of labor for hire gigs that leave us rapidly in the middle. We’re trying to break away from it all and follow our feathers, our truth, our search for enlightenment on our hero’s journey. I’ll leave you with this. Know Thyself.

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 5 - Spain

Okay slightly longer than usual opening ramble bc this is a really sentimental race for me. As mentioned in previous posts, I grew up watching F1 with my Dad but stopped when he passed away in 2007, then at some point in early 2013 I heard one of my friends in High School talking about F1, and I mentioned that I used to watch it, and she insisted on dragging me back in (10 years later, I am indeed still here).

Because of the TV rights deals in the UK at the time, the BBC only had rights to show half the races live, with the rest being extended highlights programmes. So when I invited my friends up for a sleepover, we planned it for a weekend that the BBC had a live race, which just so happened to be Spain, and that ended up being the first F1 race I’d seen since 2007 with my Dad.

I remember almost nothing from it, apart from Alonso winning, because my friend spent almost the entire race telling me who everyone was since there had been a lot of team and driver changes for me to get my head around. So I’m looking forward to actually paying attention to all the on-track action! 😅

not gonna lie, for the above reasons this is one of the races I was most looking forward to, so I really hope this race wasn’t a flop dvdhfvuhdf

Starting grid time!

or more appropriately starting grid whiplash bc MERC FRONT ROW?! With a Rosberg pole?! My dudes how did you bottle that

Seb P3 (🥳), Alonso P5, Dan and Jev 11th and 12th and Jenson 14th (😭)

tag yourself I’m Seb pulling his helmet visor down when he realised the cameras were on him divhdfsu

[Formation Lap]: lol that shot of the Mercs with their yellow helmets, it really was a challenge every Merc onboard to figure out which driver was which 

Tyres: Mediums and Hards were the compounds for this race.

“They’re [Mercs] going ridiculously slow again, tell them to hurry up” asuvhsduvah I really do miss bratty team radio Seb

and after all that the rest of the grid are taking their sweet time to line up on the grid

F1 is a Serious Sport™️

[Start/Lap 1]: Lights out and away we finally go

ohhhh Seb takes Lewis into turn 1!

...ouch and then Lewis loses P3 to Alonso in the next corner

and Jenson dropped from 14th to 17th 😭

F1 giveth and F1 taketh away

[Lap 3]: Okay we had a spicy first 4 corners and then nothing

DRS please save us

sjdvjvahvh not the camera shot of the massive queue behind Rosberg encompassing 1st to 6th 😭

[Lap 4]: Seb’s gaining but not by that much

[Lap 5]: gap now 8 tenths of a second

I know I’m only a tenth in but I fear this will be my shortest liveblog post ever

[Lap 6]: ...anyone care to do anything???

ah so Lewis has some kind of brake issues due to the double lock up at the start, great

there go my hopes of a Lewis podium :(

[Lap 7]: DRS trains be DRS training... no overtakes

I love how I hyped this up for sentimental value and I have this

2013 me was clearly won over by the sight of F1 cars and F1 cars alone sdjkvdfjvds

ugh Raikkonen passes Lewis.

[Lap 8]: oof Webber makes his first stop. Comms are talking about a potential 4 stop race.

Four pit stops

That is highkey insane ngl

Anyway, the gap between Seb and Rosberg is still around 7 to 8 tenths

And Lewis drops down to 6th 😭

[Lap 9]: oh now the gap between Seb and Rosberg just over a second. great.

aw no Grosjean’s car’s broke :(

“I can see a car that’s not going back out again” Ted please know that I adore you

[Lap 10]: Anyway, Alonso and Lewis make their first stops

[Lap 11]: as do Rosberg and Seb

rats, no position change at the stops

argh and Alonso jumped Seb bc of the undercut

[Lap 12]: vsdvhadvh Gutierrez leading the race bc he hasn’t stopped yet

Sauber literally stay winning, good for them

and we’re once again back on the Rosberg DRS train, there’s about a second and a bit between 2nd and 5th

[Lap 13]: And Alonso takes P2 going into turn 1 and takes the effective race lead

Seb tries it around the outside at turn 5, no dice

...but he takes P3 at the next corner 🥳🥳🥳

[Lap 14]: Gutierrez pits from the lead (a sentence I did not think I would be typing today)

lol I wasn’t even paying attention to tyre compounds. Rosberg is on the hards while the cars around him are on the mediums, which explains a part of the pace difference.

[Lap 15]: Massa is somehow in P3, I’m pretty sure he already stopped so it must have been early

[Lap 16]: Man it feels so wild to hear comms and Ted talking about a 3 stop race vs a 4 stop race bc even in 2014 that didn’t happen. Like if a driver had done a 4 stop race in the 2014 regs you knew they’d had a very shit time 

Anyway, long story short Pirelli make better tyres challenge

[Lap 17]: Anyway, Checo is chasing Webber down, he’s on fresher tyres and seemingly having a much better time of it judging by his race engineer.

[Lap 18]: Dan up to 9th from starting in 12th, noice

meanwhile Mercedes have gone from having 1-2 on the grid to running 5th and 10th... ouch

the regs change glow up they had really was something else

[Lap 20]: Oh the duality of Dan in the Toro Rosso chasing Perez in the McLaren for 7th place. Great for Dan, not great for Perez

[Lap 21]: I did not even notice that Alonso’s gap was up to 4 seconds. oof.

ah, and he makes his second stop and comes out in 4th

“Alonso committing to a four stop, could be five but I doubt it” That’s a totally normal sentence to say Ted

as interesting as it is not quite knowing how things will play out, it’s frustrating for it to be down to tyre life as opposed to the actual pace of the cars

[Lap 23]: And van der Garde brings his Caterham into the pits on 3 wheels 😳

this is a totally normal race

[Lap 24]: and Seb makes his second stop, onto another set of hards

[Lap 26]: Lewis just dropping down the field like a stone this does not spark joy

and he finally pits again, though he comes out in 14th

*sigh* at least Seb’s up to 4th

[Lap 27]: Make that third now that Raikkonen’s stopped

[Lap 28]: Starting to wonder what kind of hex Fernando put on the rest of the field bc he’s driving off mostly unbothered while hardly anyone else is having a great time with simply trying to manage their tyres

[Lap 29]: Oh it’s a Ferrari 1-2, I swear I keep forgetting that Massa’s there

[Lap 30]: Bono asking Lewis to look after his rear left and Lewis going “I can’t drive any slower” ...and to think they’ve gone on to win 6 titles together

(also wow I just made myself emo about that 🥺😭)

[Lap 32]: oh my god finally a battle!

...it’s Raikkonen trying to get third from Seb though

[Lap 33]: and he gets past coming out of turn 2

meh

In Merc news their simulations are currently saying that Lewis will manage to finish in 5th so... that’s certainly something

(are they delusional? we’ll find out very soon)

[Lap 35]: also we’re FINALLY past half race distance

I’m starting to see why my friend was so happy to explain shit to me at the time bc this race is definitely not it

“This is worse than anyone expected” I know Brundle’s talking about tyre wear but it could also be applied to the race

aaand replay of Hulkenberg and one of the Toro Rosso’s having beef in the pitlane 🤦‍♀️

it was Jev too... is2g

[Lap 37]: Anyway the Ferrari’s have pitted again, there was a big enough gap for them to safely double stack

[Lap 39]: And Alonso retakes the lead

not Jev having a rear tyre delamination 😭 why did F1 hate him so much?!

Pirelli I know it’s been 10 years but you can and will meet my fists

[Lap 40]: Seb pits again, back down to 4th

[Lap 41]: a positive!!! Jenson takes P7 from Gutierrez

oh Jenson’s yet to make his third stop never mind 😭

I’m pretty sure at the time that I was so excited to see that Jenson was still racing that I decided to support him anyway regardless of where he finished, 2013 me was committed to suffering as a sports fan before I knew what that meant

[Lap 44]: Despite the fact I keep forgetting about Massa he’s 8 seconds behind Raikkonen and lapping about a second and a bit per lap quicker

[Lap 49]: welp I zoned out but the only meaningful update was Raikkonen’s third and final stop, and he’s catching both Ferrari’s who sound like they’re going to stop again

[Lap 50]: and right on cue in comes Alonso, he comes out in the lead, so the win is his

and Lewis is still in P11 😭

[Lap 52]: Seb makes his final stop and he’s in 4th so likely no podium

[Lap 54]: Jev being called in to retire the car, this race has not aged well for me 😭

[Lap 58]: I hate to say it but... I’m bored 😭

there’s no racing no battles it’s just a procession I cannot remember much past the first lap

[Lap 61]: The only tangible stuff going on is Massa trying to catch Raikkonen and a potential Button v Perez round 2 electric boogaloo

[Lap 62]: 5 laps remaining, finally

[Lap 63]: dfvbjkdfvbd GP getting a bit shirty with di Resta about using his DRS

oh and the McLaren’s were told to hold positions, so no McLaren on McLaren violence today.

[Lap 65]: Okay the Rosberg v Di Resta battle is actually somewhat interesting viudhvu

both fighting for P6 and for the right to be the first Merc powered car across the finish line

              2013 🤝 2023 Team Silverstone vs Mercedes 

[Lap 66]: Final lap, at last 😭

“It’s not been a great race” Oh you can say that again

[Finish]: And Alonso wins, it’s so wild that this is still his most recent F1 win.

P2 Raikkonen, P3 Massa, P4 Seb, P5 Webber, P6 Rosberg, P7 di Resta, P8 Jenson, P9 Perez, and Dan takes P10

Well, it’s interesting how time and sentimental attachment can change your view on things. When I watched this race at the time I was just so in awe to be watching F1 again and now I’m very, very non-plussed and can’t wait to go to bed jfvbfvhsh

Anyway, it was nice to see it again at least, for the above mentioned sentimental reasons. Next race - Monaco!

[thesportssoundoff]

“A damn good main event, pretty good main card, all downhill afterwards” UFC on ESPN 3 Preview

Joey

June 23rd, 2019

To this point, the UFC ESPN cards have been pretty easy to decipher. They're entirely based upon really good main events with people you know bolstered by main cards filled with good fights with people you'd know and then not really much else on the prelim slate. This card is a prime example of that sort of fight building; a tremendous main event in JDS vs Ngannou (or Woodley vs Lawler), a main card with good fighters in good fights and then? Well not much. It's a pretty barren prelim slate hurt by a few drop outs but it's not going to be remembered. It's a solid fight card that probably could've used more big fight as opposed to one more GOOD fight but what are ya gonna do. If the worst fight on the main card is an action fight between Polo Reyes and Drew Dober? You're probably okay.

Fights: 13

Debuts: Journey Newson, Vince Murdock, Dalcha Lungiambula

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 4 (Tyrone Woodley vs Robbie Lawler CANCELLED/ Sergio Pettis OUT, Journey Newson IN vs Ricardo Ramos/Chas Skelly OUT, Vince Murdock IN vs Jordan Griffin/Roman Dolidze OUT, Eryk Anders IN vs Vinicius Moreira)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 5 (Junior Dos Santos, Francis Ngannou, Joe Benavidez, Demian Maia, Eryk Anders)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 4 (Eryk Anderson, Jared Gordon, Junior Albini, Dan Moret)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 8 (Francis Ngannou, Junior Dos Santos, Joe Benavidez, Jussier Formiga, Anthony Rocco Martin, Roosevelt Roberts, Maurice Green, Emily Whitmire)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 33-16

Junior Dos Santos- 3-1 Francis Ngannou- 4-2 Jussier Formiga- 4-1 Joe Benavidez- 2-1 Demian Maia- 2-3 Anthony Rocco Martin- 6-1 Vinc Pichel- 2-1 Roosevelt Roberts- 2-0 Drew Dober- 3-1 Polo Reyes- 1-2 Paul Craig- 3-2 Alonzo Menifield- 1-0

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Light Heavyweight- 3 (25) Lightweight-  3 (42) Heavyweight- 2 (18) Women’s Strawweight- 1 (17) Flyweight- 1 (8) Welterweight- 1 (35) Bantamweight-  1 (31) Featherweight- 1 (29)

Middleweight-  (20) Women’s Flyweight-  (18) Women’s Bantamweight- (8) Women’s Featherweight- (6)

2019 Number Tracker

Debuting Fighters (15-37)- Journey Newson, Vince Murdock, Dalcha Lungiambula, Amanda Ribas

Short Notice Fighters (15-21)- Journey Newson, Vince Murdock, Eryk Anders

Second Fight (37-11)- Alonzo Menifield, Jordan Griffin, Vinicius Moreira

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (12-23)-

Undefeated Fighters (23-25)- Roosevelt Roberts, Alonzo Menifield

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (8-8)- Justin Ledet, Jared Gordon

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (17-13)- Amanda Ribas

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- So is Ngannou vs Dos Santos a #1 contender fight? Stipe Miocic has beaten both guys without much trouble but if DC beats Stipe again, he might just up and retire? I'd assume JDS vs Cormier could be a fight people would be pretty into. Who else could be the #1 contender?

2- One of the more interesting parts of 2018 was the complete evaporation of NGannou's stock, in no small part due to the UFC basically throwing the Lewis vs Ngannou fight disaster entirely at his feet. We didn't just hear about how Ngannou had a bad fight but also how he had basically been an asshole to everybody over the course of a year (a not so hidden factor brought up by fighters who had run ins with him). From here Ngannou had to deal with the UFC backlash as well as his own mental block. He KO'd Curtis Blaydes in what could best be described as a hidden main event (it headlined a Chinese card during the deadest part of the schedule) and then he kicked off 2019 by smelting Cain Velasquez in the first ever official official ESPN card.  Now he could beat his second straight UFC champ in a row and potentially set himself up for a title fight. MMA is truly a weird sport with ever changing by the minute narratives.

3- If this is it for Demian Maia, what is his MMA legacy? Two time title contender, at times top 5 in two different weight classes, career renaissance in his late 30s and one of the best back takers ever. He's got a world class resume at two weight classes (Jake Shields, Anderson Silva, Nate Marquardt, Chael Sonnen, Usman, Covington, Woodley, Condit and so on so forth) with more big wins than losses. At the same time he's been apart of some of MMA's worst fights ever, went 0-2 in title fights and will probably not be remembered fondly outside of Brazil. Is Maia the Brazilian Urijah Faber?

4- If it's true that there's been some preliminary talks about Yan vs Sterling as a potential interim title fight, does that mean Henry Cejudo's facing the winner of Benavidez vs Formiga FOR SURE in December or January?

5- The Dana White Contenders Series has been a point of contention recently but I think a dude like Alonzo Menifield is why the show has its strengths. The UFC made Menifield fight twice; once vs UFC vet Daniel Jolly and then again against LFA vet Dashawn Boatright. He won both fights, they signed him and he just finished Vinicius Moreira in his UFC debut in January. Now, because they can't help themselves, he's getting a super tough fight against Paul Craig on a UFC main card. If the UFC has been able to do one thing with the Contenders Series, it's use it to help fill gaps at 205 lbs specifically with folks like Karl Roberson, Ryan Spann, Johnny Walker and the aforementioned Menifield.

6- Speaking of Contenders Series stuff, Roosevelt Roberts looks like he could in theory become a player at 155 lbs. Roberts debuted by subbing Darrell Horcher and then followed that up with a win over Thomas Gifford. Roberts is super composed, can strike a good bit, wrestle a good bit and seems like somebody who can stick around in a really tough weight class. He's fought a lot of veterans but not a lot of quality top level competition and that changes with spoiler Vinc Pichel. He hasn't had that sort of grueling back and forth fight and Pichel figures to bring that at the very least.

7- I know Drew Dober's carving out a nice niche as an action fighter but if he does anything BUT shoot for takedowns vs Marco Polo Reyes, I'm going to be floored.

8- Jordan Griffin in his second fight is worth watching. Griffin gave Dan Ige (he of a four fight winning streak), a pretty tough challenging fight in December. He's sort of not the UFC prototype from the Contenders Series (Dana tends to sign young raw athletic guys, Griffin is pushing 30 and with over 25 fights in his career) but showcased enough vs Ige that I'm excited to see his next fight. It's just a shame it's a filler opponent signed on two weeks notice and not Chas Skelly.

9- I know it's short notice and a bad opponent and etc etc etc etc but there's NO REASON for Eryk Anders to be fighting this soon after Khalil Rountree basically played King Of The Congo on his head for three rounds. Way too soon.

10- EFC hasn't had the best conversion rate in terms of producing successful UFC quality fighters but this is 205 lbs and so Dalcha Lungiambula is at least worth a cursory glance.

11- Anybody else surprised they've kept Junior Albini around after three straight losses? Albini opens up the show vs kinda surprising HW hit Mo Greene.

12- After a two year suspension before she even had her first fight, it's going to be interesting to see what happens with Amanda Ribas in her UFC debut. She doesn't have an easy touch with kinda under the radar Emily Whitmire.

[paddypikala]

August wrap up

I read so many things in August, so let’s jump right in.

Murder On The Orient Express by Agatha Christie

9/10

Finished on August 3, 2019

The truth is, I read almost all Agatha Christie’s books as a child (but in Polish, duh), so everything I do now are re-reads. In this case, it was a re-listen(?), because I listened to the audiobook read by Dan Stevens. Well, that boy sure can read.

A Discovery of Witches by Autor: Deborah Harkness

6/10

Finished on August 8, 2019

The title and the cover suggested it’s a book about witches. It’s not. Its about vampire yoga, vampire science, and instalove. Just because the main character is over thirty, doesn’t mean her relationship with a 1,500-year-old dude is okay. Especially that he’s so angry all the time.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin

9/10

Finished on August 9, 2019

Well, that was good. I really like Le Guin’s books, because she makes her words very real, like she’s an anthropologist observing something real. It was interesting and serious and fun.

On Beauty by Zadie Smith

5/10

Finished on August 13, 2019

No idea what this book was supposed to be about. An asshole dude? Two families so big and boring I no longer knew who’s who? I didn’t feel like there was any depth to the caracters, it wasn’t interesting, it wasn’t amusing, and the reviews I read suggested it was supposed to be funny. I just don’t get it.

City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare

5/10

Finished on August 15, 2019

I read it again, because I wanted to finish the series and I only had book 5 and 6 to read. It was okay, but honestly, it felt like a transition book—not much happened, people talked about their feelings a lot, and it set the stage for the two next books.

I Before E (Except After C): Old-School Ways to Remember Stuff by Judy Parkinson

9/10

Finished on August 16, 2019

It was fun, relaxing, and I felt like it taught me so many things I was supposed be taught at school, but my teachers focused on making me feel inferior instead.

City of Lost Souls and City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare

8/10 and 7/10

Finished on August 19-20, 2019

The two last books in the series were okay. I think the biggest advantage of Clare’s writing are the constant plot twists, which keep you focused on what’s happening even when Clare is trying to sell you the weirdest shit (incest, am I right?). And of course, I enjoyed Magnus the most, because he’s the coolest soul out there.

City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab

10/10

Finished on August 24, 2019

V.E. is the coolest person ever, one of my favourite writers, and I was excited to read a children’s book written by her. it was fun, felt a little like The Graveyard Book, although V.E. has her own writing style. BTW are Cassidy and Lara ExtraOrdinary?

Alice in the Country of Hearts (v. 1-6) by Quin Rose and Soumei Hoshino

8/10

Finished on August 25, 2019

It’s a manga and a re-imagining of Lewis Carroll's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. And it’s lovely. As always, I had trouble differentiating between some of the characters, because I didn’t see that many physical differences between them, but I had fun reading it, because it was funny and cute and interesting.

Colour of Happiness (v. 1-2) by Hakuri

7/10

Finished on August 25, 2019

I'm not sure what to think about this manga. The story is: an abused teenager is kidnapped by a twenty-something stalker and she’s thankful, because he’s saved her from her abusive parents and perverted teacher. The problem is, the relationship between them is supposed to be romantic—or going in a romantic direction—especially that the girl demands they get married someday, but I have trouble accepting a romantic relationship in which one person has more control or power than the other. And given the age difference, the girl’s past and the fact that he kidnapped her, this is not a relationship between equals.

But the pictures are pretty.

A Series of Unfortunate Events 1: The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket

10/10

Finished on August 26, 2019

I can’t possibly be critical of these books. I read them for the first time as a child and I still remembered so much about them, including some stylistic devices the author used.

Woman in the Dunes by Kobo Abe

7/10

Finished on August 29, 2019

It’s the second time I read the book. It was fine—now it was a bit clearer than the first time I read it. it has raised enough questions to be discussed during a book club meeting.

[phantomphangphucker]

Legless On Maim Chap. 10: Epilogue: Aliens, Ghosts, And Humans! Oh My!

Vee’s a bastard, Danny’s a bastard, Eddie’s a bastard, ClockWork’s a bastard, Lewis’s a bastard; everyone’s a bastard. And multiple minor characters say why the fuck not and join the bastardly fray.

Danny sighs and turns his head back towards the kitchen, “Lewis! Come collect your monsterfucker boy toy!”. Eddie rolls his eyes like he’s heard this a fair few times.

Lewis walks over, “Eddie? Really? I mean one, kid’s not healed. Two-”, grinning, “-thanks for winning me a bet”, and side-eyeing Danny.

Danny points at him, “hey, doesn’t mean-”. Eddie doesn’t even let him finish that, smirking, “oh it does mean”. Danny sighs and hands Lewis what he thinks is a twenty though really? He’s kinda amused. Smirking at Eddie, “congrats, first dude to ever figure things out on their own”.

Sam shakes her head grabs everyone but Lewis and drags them out of the house. Lewis shakes his head, sips at his drink, and heads back over to his friends; Danny could handle Eddie.

Eddie blinks as they stop getting dragged by the goth, “are you serious kid? You look nearly identical with the glowy bullshit edited out”.

Sam smirks, “people are stupid and Danny’s a walking existential crisis”, looking to Tucker and Danny, “so much for Vampire Dad 2 I’m guessing?”.

Danny immediately points at them, “no you go, illegally record it or some shit”.

Tucker rolls his eyes, “you just don’t want us around Mr. Murders And Eats People without checking him out”.

Literally both Eddie and Danny respond with, “hey and I’m taken”.

Tucker blinks, “okay that was fucking weird”, while Danny and Eddie side-eye each other. Sam shakes her head and pulls Tucker off, knowing damn well Danny will just become a ball of overprotective.

Eddie shouts after them, “let it be known! We don’t eat kids!”. Which makes Danny wheeze when some dude at a stoplight shouts back at them, “good! I’m supposed to be getting my mom some blue hydrangeas from the goth! Doubt I can get then from a digested corpse!”.

Eddie mumbles, “everyone in this town is fucking weird”, looking to the side, “shut the fuck up bitch”. Which just makes Danny laugh more. Eddie looks to him, “anyway, you smell fucking weird and those are the most convincing fake leg crap ever”, sighing, “no, we’re not taste-testing”.

Danny snorts and kicks a rock as they start walking randomly, “actually totally do, I’m curious and, I’ve got legs for days”, and slides his hand down his leg with mock sexiness.

“Do you have a death wis-”, before going wide-eyed and suddenly getting bodily flung into Danny, “no! I don’t think he’s serious!”, regardless they end up in a bush with Danny muttering ‘ow’ and missing a bit of shoulder.

Danny stands himself up easily -a bush is by far not the worst thing he’s been bodily shoved into- and rolls his shoulder, Vee’s got some sharp teeth. Damn. Eddie untangles himself and staggers up, making some faces and muttering, “that’s it, no Lindor for you”. Danny lifts an eyebrow when a little black oily snake or something just sprouts out of the guys' shoulder, seemingly sneering all teeth, “HE OFFERED EDDIE”. Eddie grabs the head? and shoves them at his shoulder muttering, “back in, bitch”.

Danny starts wheezing as Eddie looks to him, “also you- oh”, turns back to the bush and promptly throws up. Making Danny fall on his ass laughing, so much for can eat anything! Snapping a probably not flattering pic of the guy bent over a bush, captioning it ‘guess who’s inedible’, and throws it in the Phantom chat.

Eddie hacks a bit, hands on his knees. Wiping his mouth, “ugh”, blinking down at the weird black/green bubbling sludge on the ground, that was slightly dissolving the bush leaves, “what the Hell are you made outta, kid?”.

Danny laughs loudly, “death!”. Laughing more at the little black snakehead popping out of the guys' neck and sticking out their tongue at him; he thinks they look either disgusted or slightly ill.

Eddie rights himself and quirks an eyebrow at Danny’s totally healed shoulder, “fuck you heal fast”.

Danny chuckles some more, standing up off the sidewalk and giving his shoulder a little pat, “Lewis lied, I’m completely healed. Family just don’t know. And to actually answer your question, ectoplasm and human stuff too”, pointing at the bush, “but that was probably the ecto”.

“Well I guess I ain’t eating fucking ghosts anytime soon”.

“JUST SPIT DON’T SWALLOW”. Danny wheezes more at the little head and Eddie looks to them, “the Internet was a mistake”.

“BUT WHERE WOULD YOU WATCH POR-”. Eddie smashes them against his skin, “no! He’s actually a minor. And we’re in public, asshole”. Looking to Danny, “how the fuck were you in Egypt though?”.

Danny shrugs, “eh, I’m tight with the god of time”. Eddie blinks and mutters to the side, “fuck me”. Danny chuckles, “no?”, which Eddie actually laughs at.

Eddie looks around, “alright, since someone made me lose my perfectly fine lunch, there a hotdog stand or some shit?”.

Danny snorts, “no clue if you’re referring to me or Vee”, tilting his head, “huh, that rhymes”, smirking, “cool”, looking back at Eddie, “if it’s food you’re after then the Nasty Burger’s the place”.

Eddie tilts his head and shrugs, “eh you made us eat at a place called fucking Flavours Of Negros ‘cause you thought they served people”. Danny decides against commenting on that one for so many reasons.

Danny walks and points in the direction of the place, “if it’s anything, it used to be the Tasty Burger before someone stole the T”.

Eddie quirks an eyebrow, “that explains nothing”.

Danny shrugs, “there was a public vote and adults hated how all the teens loved the place. One mayor even banned teens from there”.

“Oh the stinking rich one that’s definitely shady as fuck and is kinda like you but for some reason is rocking some vampire bullshit?”.

Danny pauses and blinks at the guy, what the fuck? “How the- okay I get how you figured me out, I literally challenged and baited you. But how the fuck did you put Vlad and Plasmius together?”.

Eddie gives a goofy grin, a very smug one, “I didn’t, but thanks for confirming”.

Danny grumbles, “sneaky bastard”, but is smirking the whole time, “how’d you narrow him down to Plasmius though?”.

Eddie shrugs, hands in his pockets, “ego the size of the moon and rich people are always into weird shit”, pausing and rolling his eyes, “babe, we’re an alien/human cluster fuck. We absolutely are one of them fucking rich people into weird shit”.

“There’s a lot of ways I could take that”, Danny tilts his head, “wait, you’re rich?”. What?

Eddie grins like an idiot, “Life Foundation paid me out big for infecting me with a venereal disease- I mean Symbiote”. Danny just watches as the guys' legs seemingly gain a mind of their own and walks him straight into a pole.

Danny shakes his head at the guy not even seeming phased by that. “Well, I got jack shit for dying”.

Eddie points at him, “so you legit straight-up fucking died? Not just falling in a vat of ghost acid like some fucking spooky Joker bullshit, but less ‘murder a bitch in a burning pile of cash’ more ‘I actually think spandex looks good like a damn fool’”.

“Hey, don’t diss the supersuit! That shit’s my skin man”, shrugging, “at least a layer of it. I fucking died in that shit. On that note, don’t walk into giant vortex tunnel portals to alternate dimensions fuelled by four billion volts of electricity built by explosion prone people who leave switches inside stuff and want to punch holes into the afterlife for funsies, science, and a little bit of mild torturing”.

“Huh. Well fuck your life too then kid. Literally”, rolling his eyes, “not that literally. We don’t kill kids and I don’t think we can make someone double dead”.

Danny sticks up a finger, “actually that happens. And I’m only half-dead, motherfucker. Check yer facts”, smirking, “I’m a real dead-ringer for life, and too bad doc gave away my scraps. ‘Cause if I tossed ‘em in the portal I could really have one foot in my grave”.

“I’m pretty sure he’s not supposed to do that- bitch that is exactly why our ass will never be a doctor”, almost looking genuinely offended, “hey, you leave my intellect out of this, you cunt”.

Danny wheezes a bit, does this guy really just talk like this? “How have you not been forcibly admitted to a mental asylum? And no he ain’t but can’t let torture happy gov dogs have my shit”.

Eddie grins wide at that. “You know so I give precisely zero fucks. And nice, fuck the government. I think we’ll get on fine”.

Danny snorts, “oh I have serious beef with the gov. Fuck them. I absolutely have blown up government bases before”.

Eddie nods approvingly and actually fist bumps Danny, “fucking same, and I have enough dirt on people I could ruin their lives if they came after me”.

Danny grins almost menacingly, “the government section that’s here is a literal government secret and completely ignore any and all laws. Wouldn’t put it past them to experiment on child corpses or assassinate the president if he seemed ghost friendly”, shrugging, “Tuck keeps tabs on them, dudes a damn good hacker”.

Eddie tilts his head and nods, “I could use one of those”.

Danny snapping, “not for murder you don’t”.

“You’re too moral”.

“You’re not moral enough”.

Both of them wind up laughing at that since neither actually sounded serious or genuine.

Eddie shakes his head, “anyway, what’d Dan do with your leggy bits?”, muttering to the side, “Dan doesn’t eat people, Vee, and you’re never going to convince him to try”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “gave it to a ghost, Skulker was probably tickled green to get even part of my pelt”, pointing at Eddie, “he’s a poacher. He would cry tears of joy over successfully skinning me”.  

Eddie stares at him, Vee’s little head popping out and opening their mouth very wide, “WHAT THE FUCK”.

Danny smirks, he effectively freaked an alien; talk about life, or death, goals, “I have issues. Many of them. And they like to shoot at me”, glancing around at the finally clear street before full force grabbing Vee’s face, “I’ve held off but, oh my Ancients alien sofuckingcoolohmyancientsfuckingfuckyoufeelsofuckingcoolwhatsyourchemicalcompositionlike?canyoueatEddie’seyesandleakdownhischeakslikeblackmurderspacetears’causeIhadareallycooldreamaboutthatdoyouhaveanyspacerocks?ohmyAncientshowfarawayisyourspacerock?isitevenrock?orgas?floatylava!oh!oh!isitallblacklikeyou?orisblackrarecolouringforsymbiotes?redwouldberealcoolbutkindalikebloodwhichweirdrightgreenwouldbefunnycauseI’mallgreenydoyourcoloursevenmeananything?you’relikealittlevoidahungryvoidandohmyAncientsyoureyesaresocoolhowdotheywork?whatcoloursdoyousee?whatsyourfavourite?canyouseethroughEddie’seyeslikenormalhumaneyesoraretheyallenhanced?doesourplanetlookprettytoyou?andohyourteethwhataretheyyoudon‘thaveanybonewhataretheyconnectedto?wheredotheygocanyoumakeEddieallteethy?seemlikeyou’dbiteyourtongueallthetimewhichouchyourtonguelookssomuchmoredetailedhowmuchcanyoutaste?What’syourfavouritenotpeoplefoodLewissaidyou‘resuperoldsoyou’veprobablytastedsomuchshitfromallovertheuniversewhichjustlikeholyshitAncientsendmeZonecomethandgrantmesweetreliefwherehaveyoubeen?whatplanets?whataretheylike?madeoutof?thesmells!whataboutthesmells!?!yousmelllikebutterandcandiedeelandcigarettesmokewhichmustbeEddie’sfaulttellhimhe’sbadyoumustbesoconnectedthenthoughwhat’shisbodylikeversesotherspecies?whatotherspecieshaveyoubeenwith?what’stheirmusculaturlike?howdotheybreathandseeandhearandeverythinghowfarhaveyougone?whataboutallthestars?howdifferentaretheysetupelsewherearetherestarswecan‘tseehere?haveyoubeenonastar!oh!canyoueatastar?haveyou?waitwaitIforgotwhatdoyoutastelike?youbitmesotittatit’sfair”.

Eddie watches in slightly stunned disbelief as Vee desperately tries to get out of this kid’s grip but the kid's nails -claws actually?- are somehow clinging really well and he just leaves the ground and gets dragged with. Knocking everyone over again and licking? Vee. Then prodding their teeth, but that gives Vee the chance to get comfortably back inside him; feeling obviously super confused and startled.

Eddie has to practically kick the kid off him when he literally sticks his hand through Eddie’s collarbone where Vee disappeared through. “Ohthat’ssocooltheyslipthroughyourpoursandskinsuremyectoplasmdoesthattoobutit’snotanalienohmyAncients”.

Eddie stands, basically holding the kid at arm's length in the air, “Christ on a shit stick kid chill, holy shit”, muttering, “now I get why Dan said you like space with a little smirk”. It felt like the kid was literally vibrating under his skin and fuck, it just hit him how fucked up this is. He’s holding the hero of Amity Park up in the air by the waist. This kid’s got an entire year on his ass and doesn’t, like, y’ know, murder people. And the kid just went all fucking uncle tickles on Vee. “Everything you just said was unintelligible garbage”.

The kid stares at him with eyes almost painfully bright green, “you think your freaky long adult arms are gonna do shit?”, and proceeds to just make a whole ass nother half body out of his fucking shoulders. Eddie scrunches up his entire face, “I’ve never been on this end of the body horror, oh god”, as the kid's new pair of hands grab for his face.

Vee takes over going big ass Venom, because this is some bullshit, and holds Danny away with their claws by the kid’s shirt, like he’s an over-aggressive kitten. Danny just puts his hands to his face, the extra body sorta dissolving into green misty stuff, eyes sparkling, “so cool”. Which both Eddie and Vee think is a bullshit reaction.

“Howdoesthatwork?whatdoesthatfeellike?you’reinafuckingaliendudeohmyAncients”, grabs Venom’s wrist and makes some kind of weird staticky squealing noise, “ohitfeelsthesamebutmorestructuredandtheveiningislittledifferentandohyoumotherfuckeryouareablackandwhitelittlebitch”. Danny makes a few faces and talks like a normal breathing-required person, “you stole my colours bitch”.

Vee doesn’t say shit, just retreats into Eddie’s body and drops Danny; who doesn’t seem to give a damn about landing on his ass, standing back upright in seconds.

Eddie makes a bunch of faces at him, settling on just looking tired as fuck, “kid, what the fuck?”. Rubbing his face and grumbling, “I’m too sober for this shit”.

Danny chuckles, dimming his eyes some, “sorry not sorry, I like space. And Vee is an alien from space”, shrugging exaggeratedly, “sure I’ve been to space but totally not the fucking same”.

Eddie raises an eyebrow, “you’ve been to space?”.

“I can fly and don’t need to breathe, of course I’ve gone to space”, shrugging again, “sure so has my girlfriend but she has a hoverboard. And bitch yes I’m dating a ghost hunter who used to want to murder me real good. Occasionally still makes light stabs at my half-life”, smirking, “we both enjoy the little love taps”.

Eddie blinks and mutters, “well damn Dan, kid’s a mini-me... minus the murder, and probable alcoholism, and job, and probably the piss shit and vinegar childhood; heck he’s still a child-”.

Danny cuts in, “you really do just mutter to yourself in general huh? Not just to Vee”.

“You're weirder than Dan. He’s just chill chill ‘bout me having an alien up my ass, you’re enthusiastically chill. He just goes ‘huh, guess this is happening. Hi new friend, please don’t eat me’ and you’re over here like ‘let me touch theeeeeeeeem!’. Almost enough to make me regret coming mildly”.

Danny blinks, oh Hell no, “no, no taking the alien away from me. Also, Lewis is way weirder than me”.

Vee pops back out, Danny not even bothering to hide his grin, and looks at Eddie’s face, “ARE ALL HUMAN CHILDREN LIKE THIS?”.

“Hey, I’m almost seventeen I’ll have you know. That’s almost adult”.

Eddie looks at him and laughs a little, “no kid, no it’s not. I’d say twenty-four is the cutoff. And you feel like a kid too, and I don’t mean that in the human way”, scrunching his eyebrows, “and the fuck did Dan do? For you to think he’s weird. And why the fuck do you use his last name? You don’t scream pompous formal snob”.

Danny blinks, “oh! You can sense peoples ages? Or childness”, tilting his head, “sure adult ghosts can do that so you’re not special, but whatever”.

Eddie grumbles, “fuck you too buddy”. While Danny continues, “what hasn’t he done? Guy hid me in a thermos while having happy personal time with the bone saw when the government-sponsored anti-ghost militia came to abducted and probably torture me, and he hardly gave a shit. Guy doesn’t even react to ghostly supernovas. Super great dude though”.

Eddie grins, his opinion of this kid going up a few levels, “oh I know, he’s great”.

Danny nods immediately, “just the best. Totally stan”.

The conversation then becomes a solid ten minutes of just ‘Dan Lewis is just a really great dude’ and ‘I know right?’.

Danny chuckles, “and pompous snob is more my evil villain uncle’s thing. Lewis is a Lewis because Dan is an evil version of me that, like, low-key annihilated humanity once”, tilting his head, “who I’m oddly less traumatised by now. Eh, I blame Lewis”.

Eddie blinks, and Eddie thought his life was utterly fucked, “I usually blame him whenever anything goes right in my brain square”. Vee looks to him and practically screams, “STILL NOT A SQUARE EDDIE!”. Eddie aggressively shoving them back in when someone inside the building yells, “Jesus fuck!”, and sticks their head over their balcony, “oh, it’s the fucking Fenton boy. That explains it”, and disappears back into the building.

Eddie looks back to Danny, “I’m guessing you get away with a fucking lot”.

Danny shrugs, “me and my friends are the town weirdos. My parents, the town crazies”.

“Wow, you were screwed the day you were born”, shrugging as they continue walking in genuine yet again, “granted my dad liked to hit me with a shovel so fucking same”.

“Eh, mine used to be really into trying to dissect me. Liked shooting at me, but my dad’s a terrible shot. Though the little couple day torture session in the dungeon was not my idea of a good time”.

Eddie blinks, “I’m literal nightmare fuel and I’m telling you your life is a fucking nightmare. What the fuck”. Vee sticks their head out from Eddie’s jacket, “WOULD YOU LIKE THEM EATEN? WE ARE ALREADY GOING TO EAT EDDIE’S IF THEY EVER SHOW THEIR COWARD FACES”.

Danny immediately snaps, “no. Try that and I’ll impale you with a flaming shank”, and points a pointy chunk of ice that he got from somewhere at them. “My parents are great. Little bigoted, but we’re working on that. Oh and on that, they don’t know about your whole ‘alien up the ass’ situation. So maybe don’t go all chest-burster on them. Also don’t know I’m Phantom, neither does the girlfriend”. 

Eddie shakes his head, “so you’ve been doing hero shit without any parents or any other fucking thing?”. Eddie thinks that’s some major bullshit.

Danny shrugs, “eh, I got some adult ghost friends and clockpops, even of I seldom see any of them”. Danny chooses to ignore Eddie aggressively whispering ‘Vee’ and ‘no’ repeatedly to the side. “Vladdie tries to be a father figure but he’s a fucking fruitloop and probably spends, like, half his time finding new fun ways to taser me or maybe he’ll try the whole ‘I’ll murder your friends and family’ schtick again”.

Vee forms half a head on Eddie’s head and basically shrieks, “THAT’S IT! WE’RE ADOPTING BABY GHOST HYBRID PREDATOR!”, and whacks Danny on the head with a tendril.

“What?!? No! ‘Ready got parents, human and ghost!”.

Eddie smirks and rolls his eyes, “too fucking bad. Not literally. They’re just saying you’re a small blob to be protected. Which like, the fuck kid, you're on par or worse than my fucked up life”.

Danny rolls his eyes, though ‘protected by an alien’ sounds fucking awesome. “I could beat the shit out of you”.

“Is that a challenge? That feels like a challenge. And Vee does get bored of smashing around squishy humans sometimes”.

Danny grumbles, “you are way too fucking cool with murder”, and shakes his head with a smirk, “Lewis told me your weaknesses. My strongest ability just so happens to be a supersonic wail. I could level a city, you ain’t winning shit. Also a pyrokinetic, so double fucked”, Danny finger guns at him and shots little blue flames out; Vee, in typical fashion, hisses.

Eddie groans and dramatically sags, though not putting any real effort into it. Trying to play off the discomfort Vee sends his way over fire being so close. “I’ll admit, the Internet is all over the fucking place on what you can do. Some seemed like some crackfic bullshit. Same goes with the theories about you. Found one group that think you’re literally bloody fucking Satan coming to deceive the youth and bring about the end of times or some bullshit. Even a shoot off that you’re determining the merit of our souls and indoctrinating humanity into peace with the dead”, waving his hand around, “and some other crap about you being death itself”, pointing at him, “the stories told around you are just as fucked and wild as us”.

Danny blinks and squints at the guy, “okay, now I’m curious because that’s disturbingly close to the truth”.

“What”.

Danny quirks an eyebrow and smirks, “what? Did Lewis not mention that? The whole prince and eventual king of the dead thing? My defeat of the previous king was kinda a big deal, especially since it got the town abducted into an alternate dimension for a bit and attacked by a skeleton army”, smirking more and shrugging, “and co-existence is defiantly a goal of mine. And kingy is considered the will of the Zone so that is pretty much being death itself. And soul judging comes with the job”, tilting his head, “more of a passive thing though”.

Eddie blinks, “yup. In over our head. My soul is probably pretty fucked”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “no clue man, I ain’t king yet and hopefully won’t be for a few hundred years”.

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “so you’re vaguely immortal? We really are too similar”.

“Oh?”, Danny’s face lights up, “oh! oh! Does Vee’s weird healing of you stop the effects of ageing? Any cells or shit that gets damaged or worn they can just rebuild, reform, or replicate?”.

Eddie gives an almost impressed nod, “yeah, how the fuck did you guess that?”.

“Dude, alien’s meat puppet? Before dying fucked my vitals and physiology I was on my way to being an astronaut. My entire family are scientists, I have my own scientific patents, and my sister’s a certified genius pioneering a new field of psychology. Ancients, Lewis is bartering to get me into med school because he wants me to work with him. And my archenemy is a hardcore mad scientist. If I was dumb and not creative, I’d be deader. Dead with a side of dead sauce”.

Eddie shrugs, “I’d say I’m a dumbass so that’s different, but while I’m a dumbass, I’m a smart dumbass”.

“Fucking same. Investigative reporter probably requires a good head and creativity”.

Eddie chuckles, “yeah, I would have died long before Vee dropped on my ass. The whole situation that led to Vee was me biting a fish bigger than I could chew”, Danny then watched him go all Sauron demon voice and have suddenly very sharp plentiful teeth, “NOW WE ARE THE BIG FISH”, and grinning all teeth,

Danny eyes the teeth and grins, “so cool”, shaking his head, “not the biggest though and no snatching my guppies”, and grins, all fangs.  

Still using Eddie’s mouth, “LOOK EDDIE! IMPRESSIVE TEETH TOO! TOLD YOU, PREDATOR!”. Eddie seemingly takes back his mouth, teeth staying though, “I think I noticed, babe”, pointing at Danny, “big ass fangs you got, pretty sharp yourself”, and he has no clue why the kid is looking at him with awe and wonder; probably the alien/space thing again, which is probably going to be a running theme with this kid. Poor Vee.

Eddie gets his real answer when Danny mutters, or attempts to mutter anyway, “hoz? Wiz youvz so goovz at talkin’z? Iz canz barey fuckin’z zveekz”.

Eddie blinks, sputters, and promptly starts laughing. That explained that! The kid hadn't learned how to speak while being sixty-percent teeth yet! Hahahahhahaha. Bending over, hands on his knees and wheezing. Granted, his first time rockin’ shark teeth had been god awful and Vee had judged him so hard. Speaking of Vee, they pop out of Eddie’s jacket yet again and squint at Danny, “BABY. HASN’T EVEN LEARNED TO SPEAK PROPERLY YET”.

“Fuzz youv. Dizt”.

Eddie bursts out laughing more and has to sit down on the sidewalk, “hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha”.

“Shovz tit. Thvez nez!”, and promptly stabs his lip, which Eddie laughs so hard at that he tears up, Danny just scowls, “adulvez fanz, chilz faze; dozen worz”.

Eddie lays on the grass, “hahaha I have no idea what you said kid! Hahaha! You’re really good at the whole unintelligible garbage schtick, aren’t you. Haha”.

Danny flips the guy off, switching to ghost speak which was perfectly easy to do with his fangs, since it was all scratchy echoing warble static. Made by vibrating ectoplasm, different teeth (since each tooth had different density or number of pores or solidity), clicking his jaw, and only a small amount of actually moving his mouth, “t̵he̶͞y͏̕’̵͜r̵ȩ̴͟ ̕n̡o͢t ͜m̵̷ad̡e̷̴͢ ̵̸fo҉̶r̶͏̨ ̵E̡̛ņ̛g̸͢l͠͞įs̸͠h̸̶͟, a̸s̛͡s̷̕h͟o̸͞l̢e̕.̶ ͏̷T̵͟h̴͏e͢y’̕re͜ no̧ţ͟͜ ҉̧͜e̛v̴͟en҉ ̨̛̕ma̸̕d̶̡e̡ f͢ơ͟r̷̡ ̢f͟͢͞l̡͘e͝s̶h ͠͠a͜͡n̡̛ḑ͘ ̨͞b͏͟o҉n̢̛͘e͠,͠ ̨͘e̶͡c̛͏t̛͠o̕’̕͏s̶ al͝wa͟y̨s͢ a̸̧ ̵l̸̨i̵͝t̢͢tl҉ę̵ mor̨͝e̢ ̵̕f͜o̵͡͡r͏g͢i̷̶͞v͏i̸̴n̸g̵̢.̧͡ D҉̕ic̴k̨͢͠”, then deciding to be a real asshole and put some serious power behind it after checking no one was around,

“y̰̠ͬ̄ͭͣ̈́̚ȍ̜̹̚ú̡̖̺̘͓́̔ ͍̖͈̫̗̺̫͆ͧ͒w̛͒̀̿ī͇͊͝l̹͖̝̖̻̹̳͛̅̍̾̓͒l̯̗̻̲ͣ̄ͭ̚̕ ̧̝̻͕̈̽d̵̹ͮ͊̃̏͒i̦͎̝͔̻̭ͤͫ̎̓͂ͮ̐͡ͅe̹̝̲̠̞ ̢̬̘̈̑͐͐ͮ̄o̩͇̰̻̎ͬͨͬ̂ͮ̽ṅ͔̘͙̮͍̋͊͋e̗̳͉̽͆̚ ̙͎͍͙̠̫͘ͅḋ̗̩̱ͪͧ́ͅä̡̺̰̩̺̺͖y͉͔̞̺̦̩̣͋̇͋͆ͤ̅ ͙̭̠̩̬ͪ̄͐̉ͬ͐ḁ͆̅n̫̤̤͈̭͌̽̋̅ͨ͛̚d̦̘̬̻̹ͭ ̧͓ͤͫ̋͂̐I̴͉͍̟̪͈͗ͭ̍̎͒̋͂ ͕̘̳͇̝̤̅ͭ͋͛̃w̸̱͙͖͇̫͕̯ͫ́͌ͯ͆̊̑i̛̒̒̆̓͊̚l̼͉̩͍ͦͪͨl̲̗͍͙̲͚̖̈̍̐̈̚ ̳͍̒̆b͓̹̅ĕ̮̖̣ͨ ̪̹͉̘̉̅ͨt̛͉̲͍̖̬̩͙͐h͈̹̥̥͓͗ͣe̬r̛͖̘̺̱̥͍̆ͮͪͮ̑ͦͬe̎̆̍”.

Eddie blinks from the ground, promptly sitting the fuck up as a shiver ripples down his spine and through Vee; who instinctively hides back in Eddie, which honestly weirds Eddie out a bit. The kid smirks down at him, meaning scaring was literally the goal here. Blinking at him, “the fuck. Alright your voice is officially more frightening than Vee’s. The fuck. That sets off every bloody alarm bell, damn. I’m supposed to be the one that scares the piss outta people”, pushing himself up and staggering only a little, “well, Vee technically. Guess we’re both scary little monsters”, smirking down at the kid, “emphasis on little in your case”.

Danny pointedly retracts his fangs before speaking, “fuck you, I’m gonna be, like, seven feet tall one day”. Eddie just rolls his eyes at that, not even considering the fact that Danny is absolutely correct.

Vee pops their little head back out and immediately moves to hiss, all teeth, in Danny’s face; who hisses right back. Eddie thinks it’s like some weird asserting dominance thing. Which seems exactly like what Vee would do, gotta try to save face after going all hiding whack-a-mole. Though with the temperature dropping and what’s up with the colour palette of this town?

Symbiote and halfa stop and grin toothy at each other.

“IMPRESSIVE”.

“So cool”.

Eddie shakes his head and points at the sign in the distance, “would you look at that, I think I see your favourite poorly named restaurant in the difference”, this kid is going to inflate Vee’s ego at this point.

Vee looks back to Eddie, “YOU’RE THE ONE UP YOUR OWN ASS ENOUGH TO THINK YOU CAN APPEAR ON TV WITH KETCHUP STAINS”.

Eddie rolls his eyes, “says the alien up my ass“.

“I’LL MAKE THAT LITERAL, BITCH”.

Danny’s cheeks go noticeably red, puts up his hands startlingly fast, turns on his heels, and half shouts, “nope! Hello Nasty Burger!”, and starts walking.

Eddie chuckles and shakes his head, least the snarl-fest is over. Though feeling like they just exited a surreal pocket dimension after a bit because suddenly there are people around again, it’s warmish, the colours are normal, and leaves are falling slowly. “Your town is some weird bullshit”.

Danny laughs and grins at the guy meanly, “it’s a ghosts lair, what do you expect?”.

“The whole town? Talk about overkill”.

Danny mutters, “fuck you. Ghosts are dramatic”, as he pushes open the doors.

Eddie gives the most sarcastic, “You don’t say”, he can muster. “Sure makes driving interesting”, tilting his head and chuckling a little, “okay, yes, and fun”.

Danny snickers, flicks his hip hard enough to make a metallic ping, “guess I’m not the only one that has a hard drive”.

Eddie doesn’t get a chance to respond to that as some kid shouts, “holy Zone it’s Eddie Brock!”.

Danny tries not to laugh as Dash of all people runs over, “dude the complication videos of you bashing people’s faces in and shit are fucking legendary”.

Eddie blinks, “I like that’s what I’m known for”. And some ginger kid mutters, “I prefer his exposé”, gets up and points at Danny, whisper sneering, “I hope he exposes your ass, Phantom”, and stalks out of the restaurant.

This gets Dash to actually notice Danny’s existence, “Fentit! The Zone’s a weak loser like you doing with someone famous?”, looking Fenton up and down before smirking, “you look not dead, soooooo”, and moves to snatch that weird basketball kid’s half-empty drink off the table. He doesn’t get a chance as Valerie -who’s honestly scary as fuck- shouts, “if you even think about it I will make you eat that cup and clean the floor yourself!”. Dash puts the cup down when the manager also shouts, “and I’ll let her!”.

Danny snickers meanly and points at a clearly confused Eddie, “Oh didn’t you know? We’re friends”.

Dash snaps, “bullshit”, and shoulders his way past Danny.

Danny shouts after him, “oh I dead ass am!”. While Valerie walks over, in uniform, and hugs Danny, “Zone I’m glad to see you up and about”, grabbing his shoulders and looking him up and down, “your parents scare me”.

Eddie does know how to take a queue, ten bucks says that’s the girlfriend, and just goes up to order. On that note, the fuck is a triple death meaty mighty? I mean, he’s totally ordering that, whatever it is. “-and I’ll have whatever qualifies as strong coffee”. He’s pretty sure Danny and the girl are making out, low key but still.

The cashier glances at Danny and back to the -holy fuck this dude’s famous- Eddie Brock, “you know the Fenton kid so I’m just gonna give you what he orders. One Deathspresso”.

Eddie smirks and laughs.

‘AS BAD AS YOU, EDDIE’

Eddie’s gonna take that compliment.

‘NOT A COMPLIMENT, IDIOT’

Eddie ignores that. Watching the kid just get his ‘usual’ whatever the fuck that is. 

Eddie raises an eyebrow at the girl when she joins them at a table. Not even having to ask as she goes from zero to murder a bitch in a split second, smacking a hand on the table and pointing the other at his face, “eat anyone and I’ll blow your ass up with a missile launcher. Even try to eat Danny and you’ll find me standing over you with a cattle prod”.

“Been there, done that”, and gives an award-winning sultry smirk.

Danny chuckles, “this a bad time to mention they already tried a sample?”. Eddie nearly chokes on his coffee due to one, fuck this is impressively strong. And two, the girl actually pulls out a weirdly shaped cattle prod. Danny snatches the weapon away, “we’re cool Val. ‘Parently I’m inedible”.

The girl grumbles, “fine, but I'm watching you”, and sounds aggressively serious about that. Eddie watches as Danny straight up chugs half his Deathspresso; fuck this kid’s worse than him. Which is definitely not a compliment.

Valerie turns to Danny, “so obviously you’re running your cyber stuff well, but the spooky stuff? Did you, maybe, get a spooky visitor drop in?”.

“If by ‘drop-in’ you mean fell through the ceiling laughing and mildly scaring the piss outta me, then being tail bros? Then yeah”, shaking his head and taking a few bites, “seriously, what the fuck, Val?”. Obviously he has to cover his Phantom ass.

Eddie just sips his coffee, pretending this conversation makes any sense.

Danny points to the manager who’s giving Valerie some serious side-eye, “you might want to get back to work, but first”, Danny leans over with mock sexiness, “I’m glad we started dating during this time of year”.

Valerie asks cautiously, “why”.

Danny grins, “‘cause we’re autumn mated”, and points a thumb outside at the orange trees and leaves on the ground.

Valerie sighs, “fuck you”, and shoves him through the window -which had been broken not too long ago- and into a bush. Getting up and brushing herself off before giving Eddie another threatening finger point and walking off.

Eddie tosses out the trash and walks out to watch the kid pull himself out of the bush, “I’m really fucking confused that you let people push around. Pretty sure you woulda let that jock kid dump stuff on you”. Vee sneaks their head out, “EAT THEM”.

Danny brushes off his pants, “not gonna happen”, straightening up, “if Dash spends his time beating me around then he doesn’t have time to beat up the ones that can’t handle falling twenty-something feet from a flag pole or being force-fed rotten food”.

Eddie groans, “oh god, you’ve got a fucking hero complex”, as they start heading back to the kids -really fucking weird- house.

“Lewis says you do your thing for hero-y reasons. Dishing out justice, without the mercy”, squinting at the guy, “or do you just do it for the meal”.

Eddie can practically smell the judgmental disapproval coming off the kid, “kid, no offence Vee, do you really think I’d be munching on people without my little alien hitchhiker?”, shrugging and sticking his hands in his pockets, “sure we only hunt people down when we need the meal, but I’m a thorough motherfucker; they’re always bad guys. Both guys that I would have come after anyways, minus the gratuitous murder. And guys that I couldn’t go after before on account of them probably fucking murdering me”. Danny looks like he’s actively determining his worth and truthfulness.

Danny nods after a bit, “alright, you seem believable enough. You’re the moral compass of Venom, at least it seems you actually are moral”.

“I don’t know ‘bout moral kid. The filth of the world is our prey and happily so”.

“Woah, chill your tits there Jeffery Dahlmer”, anything else Danny was going to say getting cut off by a shiver travelling through his body and a little plume of icy mist, “hold that thought, Hannibal, I’ve got a job to do”, and slips off into an alleyway.

Eddie grumbles, “like I haven’t heard that one before”, and chooses to lean against a building and finish his drink.

Not two seconds later does Eddie hear that echoey voice shout, “well looks like I’ve gone from one foodie to another! Surely you’ll find me a more flavourful delicacy! But no! You aren’t allowed to divide my existence away into servings! Though I’m certain I’m a perfect recipe for heroic tendencies!”.

Eddie watches as the black and white kid, who looks waaaaaaay less blurry in person, seemingly gets blasted out of the alley by meat? Like a legit literal floating river of meat. Eddie thinks this is already some major bullshit.

Danny dodges a meat axe, having a hard time not laughing his ass off at catching Eddie’s major ‘what the fuck’ face. The Lunchlady predictably pausing after Danny blasts apart the meatsuit -he’s gonna have to figure out where all this meat came from in the first place- with a couple well-aimed blasts. She looks him up and down, and shakes her head with a scowl, “YOU'RE STILL TOO SKINNY! Cookie?”.

Danny sighs, putting his chin in one palm, “no”.

“THEN YOU WILL FRY!”, and slams him into the ground with an oversized frying pan.

Danny just shoots a beam at her from the small crater he’s in, “the only thing I need to sweeten myself up is coffee!”.

The Lunchlady stops again and deadpans, “that’s bitter dearie”.

“Do I look like I care what my taste buds think!?! I’m Death flavoured anyway!”, floating back up, “and I think these battle flavours need the added spice of my fist!”, and promptly socks her across the jaw. Talking a bit quietly at her, “you and Boxy aren’t having issues are you?”.

She waves him off, “oh hardly”, and throws him into a building via a meat fist.

Eddie eyeballs a bit of steak that smacked into the ground with an oddly satisfying thwap. Muttering as Vee uses his leg/foot to poke it, “babe, that’s gross. Don’t eat that”. He might not have standards, but he has standards. Though if the steak wasn’t cooked Vee would probably eat it anyway.

‘YES’

The Lunchlady flies in after Danny and presents a little serving tray, taking off the lid. Danny takes the little paper while giving her some serious confused cautious eyebrows. Laughing when he sees it’s actually a bloody baby shower invite! The Lunchlady nods curtly, “I’m well aware you rather your humans not know, dearie”.

Danny nods, “truth”, and floats up, smirking, “should I bring a boxed lunch”.

She shakes her head, “I'm not going to question how you knew her name”. Danny just snickers meanly before, “surprise thermos!”, and sucks her into his thermos.

Eddie grunts, “so you seriously use a thermos? And your enemies invite you to parties? Honestly?”. Bullshit. That is bullshit.

Danny turns and looks at Eddie who’s sticking his head in through a hole, “you know, most people run away”.

“What is ghost lady gonna do? Kill me?”.

Danny blinks and wheezes, changing back human and wiggling his tail about, “we’re weirdly similar”, shaking his head, “and she would have tried once. Ghosts know better than to genuinely try to kill my humans though”, floating over to snatch up the discarded CyberSteps and reattach them, “also, I’m more like frenemies with most of my enemies”.

“You’re stupid”. Detachable robo legs were a new one but Dan had not failed to mentioned getting stab and hack happy with the kids lower half or that the kid's parents were trying, and apparently succeeding, at playing pin the legs on the teenager.  

Danny points at the guy, “hey, all ghosts fight each other. It’s a little something called socialising; not that you know much about that”.

“Cut deep why don’t you. You little fucker”.

“I’m only five-four!”.

“Exactly”.

“Jerk”.

“Dick”.

Vee takes over Eddie’s mouth, “BITCHES”, apparently feeling left out.

Danny tilts his head, hearing a very particular engine, and grabs Eddie’s jacket to physically yank him to the side; just as the mini GAV -which is honestly just a reinforced minivan instead of a suped-up mini-tank monster truck hybrid thing- barrels through the wall, his dad clearly being the driver. Eddie yelping, “god fuck! Holy shit!”.

Maddie sticks her head out of the door, bazooka in hand. Lowering the weapon and clearly raising her eyebrows as she spots Danny, lifting her goggles, “oh! Sweetie!”, looking down and likely checking her scanner, “darn, missed It... them, missed them”.

Danny mutters, “they’re trying at least”, before waving at her, “hey mom, don’t worry, I’m fine”.

Eddie grumbles as he stands up, “don’t mind me, I'm good too”, only to slip on a chunk of debris and land right back on his ass.

‘MAKING US LOOK BAD, EDDIE’

Eddie grumbling, “she’s in head to toe spandex, I don’t think she cares”. Danny rolls his eyes, “it’s useful spandex”, he’s over being embarrassed by his parents ‘fashion’.

Eddie just snickers at the kid as his mom walks up and starts checking him over, “you alright? The ghost didn’t hurt you or anything? Or were they one you’re... friendly with?”.  

Danny bats away her hand, “mooooom, cut it out. I told you I’m fine”, Ancients he hated being babied, especially in front of others. Having to make a point to keep the snarl out of his voice, can’t help the teeth-baring though, “seriously”, huffing though glad when she gets the message and cuts it the Zone out, “and it was just the Lunchlady”, shrugging, “‘parently BoxedLunch was born”. She just blinks at him.

Eddie turns to the side and laughs, “well those are... names”, and laughs a little more. Danny points aggressively at him.

Maddie smiles a little stiffly, “ghosts names usually have a meaning of some kind”, gesturing to the mini-GAV, “how about I- or Jack I guess, drive everyone back to the house?”. Jack, as if summoned, sticks his head out and waves.

Eddie shrugs, following the adult and teen into the... ‘vehicle’ thing. While Danny nods, “yup, BoxedLunch will be able to telekinetically control boxed and canned food products”.

Eddie shakes his head, “that’s stupid”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “could be Obsession based too. Usually a mix”.

Jack nods and guns it, speaking while Eddie shrieks and chants ‘no’, “Phantom seems to be the exception. But! We’re pretty sure he’s a different kind of ghost! A needed one! A spirit!”, looking to Danny, “like ClockWork!”.

Eddie just side-eyes Danny while clinging to the door handle.

“I do believe I mentioned we are called NeverBorns”. Startling nearly everyone. Eddie muttering, “oh fuck me- no not you”.

Danny tilts his head up a little, child ClockWork appearing with their arms crossed on his head. Danny chuckling slightly awkwardly, “hey Clocky, uh, whatcha doing?”. Is ClockWork showing up randomly around his parents going to be a routine?

Maddie gives a stiff nod of greeting, “hello... ClockWork”. Jack waving erratically and giving a far more genuine, “hello! Again!”.

Eddie catches on damn quick, based on the stiffness the lady seems ridiculously similar to homophobes trying to tolerate or not be an utter ass around an out and proud queer. So she was what? a speciesist? Genuinely it seems. Well that’s fucking stupid and bullshit. The guy seemed more like the ignorant type that’s actually totally cool once they know better and actually believe it. And these guys were supposed to be the creme de la creme of ghost research? Wow, fuck that bullshit. “I’m not even gonna bother pretending to understand what the fuck is going on with the baby ghost, but aren’t you guys like the fucking ghost scientists of the world? I’m detecting some speciesism crap here. Studying the whatever the fuck that you’re bigoted against is stupid and is exactly how you do bad science”.

Danny holds up a finger, “uh, actually the government’s pretty well the same and did try to nuke the Ghost Zone; which would have pretty much destroyed the universe”.

Eddie points are him, clutching the door harder when the vehicle takes a hard turn, “that’s exactly what I mean. Studying while high on the bigotry train equals making stupid decisions”, gesturing wildly, “like blowing up an entire dimension. That’s stupid. I’d metaphorically punch someone in front of the camera for that. If I were a ghost I’d probably terrorise people trying to blow my home up or shoot me for the crime of existing too”.

Maddie opens and closes her mouth a few times, “well we didn’t believe them capable of emotions-”.

Eddie quirks an eyebrow, trying to not look pathetic while clinging to the door, “oh? Just like women aren’t capable of being rational, right?”.

Maddie makes a series of faces, “that’s not the same”.

“Isn’t it?”.

“Ghosts are a different species”.

“And? Women are a different sex”.

“They’re dead”.

“So?”.

“The have an absence of life, so logically it made sense they’d lack things of the living”.

“Women lack balls, which those old assholes clearly thought had something to do with being fucking rational. And do I even need to start on the whole genitalia related hysteria theory bullshit?”. Danny chokes a little and covers his eyes at that. Eddie smirks, “I know jack shit about ghosts, but I can taste bullshit when I smell it”.

ClockWork sticks up a small finger, “that is not how that phrase goes”.

Eddie only glances at them, “do I care? No”.

Jack parks and stands, “to be fair, every time anyone had encountered ghosts they had been violent”.

Eddie practically peels himself off the door, “I don’t know about you, but I’ve never ran into a friendly shark”, adding like he’s almost being forced at gunpoint to, “sharks are cool as shit though”.  

Danny gets up too, ClockWork not moving from their spot on his head. Danny’s almost impressed they’ve stayed in child form for so long, means there’s probably a reason though. “Sharks are pretty cool. Awesome teeth”, and gives a meaningful smile; he’d throw in his fangs if his folks weren’t around.

Eddie gives a small smirk back, a bit of sharp teeth visible. Then turning back to the parents, “science and biased opinions don’t mix, like milk and lemon juice. Nothing is fact until proven otherwise and if someone says it’s fact, prove them wrong; your bloody well self included. Screw your heads on straight”.

Danny looks to him while his parents gape a little, “I think I get why you get punched and abducted so much. You’re, like, super confrontational”.

Eddie points at him while walking up to the door, “and you’re not?”. Which Danny will admit is a bit fair. Eddie continues, “though yes, I do tend to egg people into throwing down. There is little better than punching pompous money-grubbing jackass that fuck over the lower classes in the face”. Danny can’t ever disagree with that either. ‘Cause well... ‘cause Vlad. Though he absolutely hears Eddie mutter to the side, “okay fine, yes that’s better. Only reason I like it now is your oily ass-oh yeah you and me both-fuck off”.

Maddie bites her lip a little but nods, while Jack goes over and gives ClockWork a pretty awkward handshake; considering how small their hands were at the moment.  

Lewis opens the door just as Eddie had muttered, “fuck off”. “Lovely to see you two too”.

“Jesus fuck, God sorry Dan. Not you, you already know that though”, looking to the side again, “shut the fuck up, you cunt”. Lewis just chuckles and moves to let everyone in.

Lewis points to ClockWork, “why’s the ghost godparent slash Guardian here?”.

Eddie turns to Danny, eyeballs the tiny ghost, “who the fuck makes a child someone’s godparent?”. ClockWork immediately changes to their adult form, moving to float next to Danny. Eddie blinks, “or not a child”, then looking offended, “oh yeah mock me why don’t you”, probably being mentally laughed at.

Maddie looks to the ghost, “Dan is right though, is there a reason or do you just... hang out”.

Eddie looks to her, “let me guess, ghosts ‘don’t hang out’”. Lewis gives him a fond smile that absolutely conveys that this is pretty typical Eddie.

Maddie actually does look slightly embarrassed, which might have something to do with Eddie’s tone, “we didn’t use to think they did”. Which both Eddie and Danny huff at.

ClockWork sticks up a finger, “we do simply spend time in each others company here and there. I’ve gotten him quite good at chess and better read”. Eddie coughs, muttering, “he plays chess???”. ClockWork keeps going, “though I do have my reasons for my appearance now”.

Danny sighs, moving to sit in the kitchen, “let me guess, either has to do with Eddie showing up or-”, popping his ankles up on a chair and crossing them, “-the leggies”.

Eddie shuffles off to the living room, pulling out a shitty-looking beat-up journal; when the ghost points at the kid’s metal legs. Now that he’s confirmed a few hunches he might as well work on recent stuff he can actually get paid for.

Danny sighs, “the timer I’m guessing? Some ability or purpose you left out because it wasn’t the right time?”. Danny totally one-hundred percent saw this coming. ClockWork usually had, like, a bajillion reasons for things.

Jack laughs when ClockWork smirks and nods, “you sure know them well! Danny-boy!”. Maddie smiles genuinely at that.

ClockWork taps at the timer with their staff, “as was said, such things can alter time around the wearer. And I must say, the Observants are quite displeased over your now patchy and difficult to interpret future”, both ghost and halfa share a malicious-looking grin over that. Before ClockWork continues, “but much more importantly, you could certainly go on a nice little jog through time. A quaint little stroll down the time streams road. Hop from spot to spot on the timeline”.

Danny blinks and chuckles, putting his chin in his elbow and resting on the table, “so a free built-in pass through time? You out here making me a little optional time hopper huh?”.

Maddie leans forward, “are you saying you gave Danny time powers through his legs?”, how is she even supposed to react to that? Sure he technically had ‘powers’ already, the floating and the cold of his Core; a healing factor arguably too. Probably more, that he might or might not know about.

ClockWork pats Danny’s head, “in a way. Far less timely than me, and I will see anything he gets up to or tries. Quite suiting for a timely apprenticeship”.

Danny blinks, “if I start accidentally falling through time, I’m blaming you”. ClockWork knows how he is with new powers. Though fine, being the ‘child of time’ probably means he should have some kinda timely stuff. Jack can’t help but laugh at that, he could see just how much trouble Danny could get up to with that! Good thing this ClockWork fellow seemed responsible, which super strange to truly see from a spook! Maddie can’t help but see this as like them liking his tail, wanting him to be more like them; which she’s trying not to view negatively. Parents usually wanted their kid to be similar to them.

Lewis leans forward, “interesting choice of words, ‘apprentice’ implies job”.

Danny tilts his head, right they had told him they had a job for him. Sighing with a smile, “you’re really just making me crank my internal clock rapidly towards death”.

ClockWork gives him another little pat, looking to the parents, “traditionally child ghosts always take something like an apprenticeship under their guardian; through the passing on of power. My binds simply don’t allow for it”, smirking, “at least not through traditional means”. Danny grumbles incoherently at that. ClockWork looking to him and changing to their elderly form, “now the title proper would be ‘prince of time’ of course, being that I am the lord”.

Lewis shakes his head, Danny seriously couldn’t get away from the prince title now could he? Ghost Prince, Time Prince. Though he’s pretty sure the second is not even kinda a ruling title.

Jack blinks then looks a little excited, curiously excited, “‘prince’? Like royalty?!?”. Danny thumps his head on the table and leaves it there. ClockWork changing to a child and wrapping their tail around his neck, giving him a kinda weird neck/shoulder massage thing, “cloooooockyyyyyy”. Though relaxing and melting a little.

Lewis can’t help chuckling at that, giving him a very mocking, “awwww”, and getting a very mumbly, “fak yo”, in return.

Maddie shaking her head and a little surprised to find herself fighting back a smile, “I’m more interested in the binds thing. Your power level means you really should be a six, but you’re not”. ClockWork fiddles with Danny’s hair, leaving him to answer. Danny turns his head to the side, “they make sure the universe goes along the best and longest path. And that is all they are to do. Rules they physically have to follow. Restricts how much they can interfere”, sighing and shifting against the table a little, “can only do all this stuff with me ‘cause Guardian. Only Guardian ‘cause of circumstances and whatnot”. ClockWork nods with a hum, letting a content pleased smile be very obvious.

Jack and Maddie grin at that, both pretty damn certain now that this ghost genuinely liked and cared; no villainous motives. And if they were really thinking on that right now they'd probably cringe, obviously they’ve been wrong and probably about a lot. And Danny knew that. He was involved with ghosts, liked some, and very close with at least one. They had screwed up really, because they had hurt him in a way. He’d always been constant and firm in his opinions. His friends the same but seemingly more disappointed in them about it; probably out of protectiveness. Vlad said it like it was obvious fact but didn’t give a damn if they agreed or not. Dan was gentle and arguably objective, though he had probably talked with Danny at length. And this Eddie had pretty much come up and smacked them.

Lewis decides this probably qualifies as a ‘family moment’ so makes possibly awkward attempts to leave them alone, getting himself coffee and leaning against the entryway between the kitchen and living room. Smirking a bit to himself at spotting Eddie, who’s scribbling down his chicken scratch while rubbing little circles on noodle Vee’s head; Vee looks quite content with the situation.

Meanwhile, Maddie eyes the bit of the clock timer peaking out off Danny’s pants. Obviously the ‘prince of time’ thing wasn’t an actual royal title but more ‘family of someone important’, which was still strange. ClockWork calling it ‘apprentice’ definitely confirmed they were teaching him things beyond just chess; a bit mind-blowing ghosts played boardgames. She wonders though...

ClockWork speaks up, Danny looking a little zoned out all the while, “I prefer to allow him to teach himself. A guiding hand, rather than an authoritative voice. The latter weathers with time and often leads astray; the lessons less true and less useful. Request before you demand. Advise before you tell. And listen before you think”.

Jack grumbles, “I don’t think I quite get that”.

“To demand is to control their actions. To tell is to control their beliefs. To think without listening first is to control their voice. You have done plenty of this in the past. Demand fear and hatred of ghosts, scorn those that refuse to listen. Tell tales of your decided truth as if fact, and speaking louder if someone stuck their fingers in their ears. Thought of only others' nativity and how to reinforce yourselves when others spoke their grievances. Now you’ve tried the other path. And though it can be filled with hurt and discomfort, you’re already richer for it you'll find”, smirking faintly, “and yes, Daniel does do jobs for me; though not officially or with any real request from me. I merely pushed for timelines that aligned best and things worked themselves out as they so often do. Now I can request of him in genuine, and him of me”.

The two blinks at them, a little overwhelmed. Both pretty sure Danny might be the only one who doesn’t find them overwhelming. And Danny was probably the only one whose opinion ClockWork actually even cared about. Maddie leans back a little, “so you’re kind of like the... god who can’t truly interfere and simply must let people live their lives? Let fate play out?”.

“And, to use the phrases of mortals, I lose no sleep over that”, shifting to an adult and easily moving Danny to be practically curled up in their lap/against their chest, “I care not whether you live nor die. Whether you know happiness or suffer greatly. Beyond the effect of that upon Daniel and upon the continued existence of the time stream”.

Maddie could choose to take time that incredibly negatively, she could almost call this emotionless; but really? It was more someone whose priorities were far beyond individual beings. And besides, this meant that ClockWork would do what was best for Danny; everything and everyone else be damned. If anything, she could technically trust them with him more than anyone else. Maybe it was the bond Danny explained, or maybe it was simply them as a Being.

Jack’s more focused on how Danny absently grabbed ClockWork’s cloak and sorta snuggled up to it, very adorable and Danny would probably be so embarrassed if he wasn’t practically dead to the world. Danny seldom seemed really relaxed, so it was really nice to see! Then watching the ghosts blue hand pull out a necklace from under Danny’s collar, the one Danny always seemed to wear but never over clothing. Jack honestly has no clue what that necklace looks like and according to the paramedics it literally vanished as soon as they got his shirt off. Seeing the little silver CW charm dangling off the thin chain, he knew that thing had to be ghostly! Neither parent even has to ask.

“I gifted him this after becoming his Guardian proper. And now-”, taping the chain and suddenly a little gear charm appears on it, “-I find this to be another moment to commemorate”, letting go and the necklace simply phases through the shirt. Looking to the parents, “he prefers to keep it over his Core, which is typical for children. Symbolically saying that to truly hurt them you’d have to go through their Guardian first”, ClockWork puts in some emphasis to make the message very clear. The parents give a little nod and are actually genuinely happy to hear that.

Then they hear what they’re pretty sure is a string of swears and thud; turning their heads and seeing Dan choke on his drink a little. Danny -and ClockWork but that’s besides the point- is the only one to actually hear Eddie’s grumble about being bit. Which Danny smirks over and promptly bites ClockWork. Jack laughs while ClockWork chuckles, ahhh the joys of having a trickster who’s still growing into his fangs under their cloak. Danny does crawl off them right after though, moving to make his own coffee and obviously trying to play things off. Which gets Maddie to giggle.

Eddie stumbles in, grunts at Danny, “you like murder coffee, pour me some”, looking to the ghost, “fuck, you’re still here? Don’t you have things to do? Decrepit houses to haunt? Or children’s closets to hide ominously in?”.

ClockWork smirks, “I’m hardly the type. You should watch your local news, I believe”. Eddie rolls his eyes and shuffles back to the living room; reclaiming the couch. Danny sighs and looks to the ceiling, something going wrong in someone’s home when they leave was exactly his luck. Turning around and sipping his coffee while leaning against the counter; everyone (minus ClockWork)feeling just slightly awkward now.

So Jack jumps up, looking to Maddie, “after today I say we need to get right on rebuilding the GAV!”. Maddie looks from Jack to ClockWork to Danny, before smiling; it would probably mean a lot to Danny to just trust ClockWork alone-ish with him. Turning to Jack, “sounds like a plan, hon”.

Danny grins like an idiot to himself after they head down the lab stairs, they had changed so much! Looking to ClockWork, who grins, “one more thing, Daniel. Here”, and hands over folded fabric.

Danny looks at it, only having to fold out the hood to know it’s a freaking cloak or maybe mini cloak, “oh Ancients, ClockWork. Thanks”. ClockWork just laughs a little before throwing the cloak around his shoulders and disappearing. Leaving Danny grumbling fondly, “can’t even say goodbye”. Then looking to Lewis’s stupid smirk, “shut up”. Lewis chuckles and moves to sit in the living room. Danny electing to follow.

Danny leans over the back of the couch, looking at the absolute mess that is Eddie’s writing, “whatcha doin’?”.

“Adult stuff you’d never understand”.

“Fuck you”.

Eddie chuckles, “filling in details on the little interview I had with Cletus Kasady”.

Danny blinks, “ain’t that guy a serial killer?”, he’s not sure he even wants to know now.

Eddie quirks an eyebrow but doesn’t look away from his notebook, “surprised you know that, dudes whacky”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “nice, another frootloop”, leaning over even more purely to be obnoxious, “I should show you how to write with a proper quill, could make this look even more illegible. And writing with a fucking quill in public is a total power move”.

Eddie mutters, “that’s actually a decent argument”. While Danny squints at the words, sounding mildly unsure and tilting his head; attempting to read it, “‘there’s gonna be carnage’?”, snorting and moving to actually flop on the couch, “well someone took lessons from us spookies on being ominous”.

Eddie snorts and rolls his eyes, “more like typical bad guy trying to be intimidating”, smirking, “doesn’t really work on an actual predator though”.

Danny snickers, “tell me about it”.

Lewis sips his drink, watching the slight sharp toothy grins. Maybe those two were going to be like oil and fire, which might not be a good thing. Eyeing the short cloak that was honestly closer to a shawl, whatever, it was probably out of his hands now. Least the kid had some omnipresent god looking out for him. Positives Lewis, positives. Vee’s noodle head being suspiciously quiet is more than a little ominous though.

End.

[wirewitchviolet]

I’d like to talk about Graham for a little bit.

About a month and a half ago, this thing just sort of spontaneously happened that was on the order of the old Jerry Lewis telethons, raising an absolutely jaw-dropping amount of money for an organization called Mermaids, which is great and absolutely deserves to have it. I should clarify before anything further too that I’m using “spontaneously happened” here only to mean absolutely nobody involved had any possible idea that it was going to become the huge thing it became, not that it didn’t do so because of a lot of really impressive work, mainly from Casey Explosion and Dan Olson who both ended up playing producer as guests started hopping in and did phenomenal jobs they can’t get enough credit for.

I am, of course, quite thrilled to see how well that went, particularly since just something like a week prior I’d independently tried to start a charity drive for Mermaids which was... decidedly unsuccessful. And I came oddly close to getting properly involved in this one, because around the time it was at the $1000 mark, “guests” were mainly just people I’m personally friends with and haven’t talked to in a while, I was talking about joining in, but the timing of me getting hold of a microphone and a quiet room and guest coordination shook out weird and I lost my place in line to like, Chelsea Manning and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who I will freely admit were bigger donation draws than me talking to old friends and sharing info about trans charities and transphobic groups trying to undermine them would have been.

One thing I’d have liked to have brought up is the other thing that made the whole event a bit bittersweet, personally. The whole thing was explicitly advertised as existing purely to spite one Graham Linehan, who rather infamously had spearheaded an initiative to undermine funding for Mermaids because these days he is a cartoon villain and defunding a children’s charity was the sort of thing he’s all about now. And I’m saying “now” and “these days” because I have kind of a weird history with Graham. Once upon a time, he was my biggest fan.

No, really. If you don’t believe me, go do a quick twitter search for him mentioning me. It’s a bit surreal to look back on. It was weird to live through at the time too. He started following me at a point where I had something like 10 other twitter followers, and was just super super pumped about literally everything I was writing about, you know, the rise of this group of transphobic fascists weaponizing twitter mobs. I’d start writing something and he’d just pop up in my DMs. Which... OK now it’s weird because I’m the last person the arguable king of all transphobes should be following, but at the time it was also weird because he hadn’t gotten into that and was this famous TV writer.

So first of all, it just sends a chill down my spine any time I see him talking about having trans friends who like him just fine and wondering if he’s still trying to count me there. Because I mean, the last time I actually talked to him it was pretty damn civil. Mainly because I was trying to make a calm rational case explaining that he’d just linked horrifyingly bigoted propaganda out, but I could see him grasping for that straw.

Those prior interactions color the whole thing for me in a really tragic light though. Usually, when you see someone who did a thing you enjoy(ed) tear their face off and reveal a disgusting monster, you get to go “ugh, I can’t believe I never picked up on what a creep this person was the whole time!” but... I personally don’t have that luxury here. At the point I knew him, I can actually say he was a decent, caring guy, willing to stick his neck out in a big big way for worthy causes. He promoted the hell out of everything I wrote for a while, and elevated the voices of a ton of other trans women and other marginalized people under attack from nazis. He really went all in with a pretty big media platform against that crap at a time where it wasn’t especially popular or safe to do so, and he campaigned about as hard as was humanly possible to repeal Ireland’s abortion ban, sharing some really horrifying personal stories which I’d probably still dig out when trying to argue the subject if it wouldn’t be giving oxygen to such a huge bigot. And for whatever it’s worth, that infamous I.T. Crowd episode? Some 6 years after the fact he really was self-conscious about that still, and just sort of... approaching every trans woman he knew one by one to try to explain where he was coming from with it. Which of course is not at all the same thing as apologizing for it, but presumably had he stayed that course, he’d have maybe grabbed some sensitivity readers before the next such bit went to air.

So yeah. My honest assessment of where he was at in late 2014 through early 2015 there is... well-intentioned guy with some blind spots legitimately trying to be a better person and work towards some general trans allyship...

... and then he just suddenly pulled this complete 180, and it’s one of the most chilling things I’ve ever seen. From my perspective, it was like being in a zombie movie where someone gets bit. First they’re fine, then you see a big ol’ red flag (I don’t recall whether the first such was him going to bat for the serial abuser creep we just finally kicked out of tabletop or him linking a post on freaking 4th wave now), and you have this little window of maybe we can cut off the infection before it spreads, and that fails and suddenly you’ve just got this shambling monster wearing the face of a former ally in the fight against them. I suppose a more grounded metaphor would be like comparing it to someone you know joining a cult. every value they had is suddenly gone and they’re just removing themselves from all their old circles to hang out exclusively with these dangerous creeps.

I can’t stress enough that this isn’t me saying “there’s still good in him.” Dude’s out there getting the police showing up at his door because he won’t stop harassing random women and literally organizing letter-writing campaigns to cut the funding to a charity that keeps marginalized children from killing themselves. That is way too far over the cliff to entertain any notion of someone ever crawling back. No my point in all this that moral consistency isn’t anywhere near as solid as people like to tell themselves it is. People can go from vehement anti-fascism to full on fascist over a single conversation with the right recruiter on the right day and there’s really nothing you can do about it but hope you recognize it before your denial starts to amplify the damage.

At least I sure as hell hope there’s nothing else you can do about it because again, this guy was literally my biggest fan before he suddenly flipped, and I don’t want to have to second guess myself about what part of me saying “fascism is bad and trans people don’t deserve this sort of harassment” was sufficiently unclear that a guy hanging on my every word for like a year could get all backwards.

This really isn’t a story with a feel-good moral at the end. I mean, the best spin I can put on it is, moral compasses can break, so be sure to pull yours out regularly and double check that it’s still pointing north, don’t just follow the person ahead of you and assume theirs is working? Make sure you’re familiar with a definition of fascism that doesn’t rely on what costumes someone’s wearing? Bear in mind that the oppressed minority turning out to be the real bullies is just not a thing that happens? Just... don’t ever be like Graham here.

[kingasly]

I just can’t figure out if you like Charles or not?

Ok this is a HOT TAKE!! Are you sure you’re ready for this tea??? Skdjdjjdjs

Ok before i answer this, you have to know something about me, my life, my blog.

I love f1, i’ve watched it for almost my entire life but i’m not emotionally invested. Like, this is a dan blog and i’m what you call a “dan stan” but at the end of the day, if dan has a bad quali session for instance, it doesn’t hurt me on a personal level. I’ll laugh about it like i did yesterday, and then i’ll get off this site and literally not think about it. To me, he’s just a driver - he’s not close to me, i don’t know him, it doesn’t affect me like that. I’ve been watching him race for years, as well as others, and they’ve entertained me race week after race week and that’s how i feel about it. I know dan’s a good driver, he doesn’t have to excell every week for me to know i stan a good driver, i’m good either way tbh. And that’s how i feel.

So now we get to charles. He is a young dude who drives for ferrari and ya’ll are all on his dick 24/7 i have to say. He’s trying to make a name for himself and the whole situation in the team is not making it easier for him. Like, he’s stuck in a team with an excellent driver who really never achived his full potential there and some people are writing him off and that fucking sucks. But what is charles supposed to do? Benefit seb all the time? He’s one of the youngest ferrari drivers ever (correct me if i’m wrong but i think i heard that) and he’s supposed to not push limits? Put yourselves in his shoes. Maybe ya’ll are better people than me, but if i was charles, i would do my best to smoke seb. Maybe i’d be fair about it and maybe i wouldn’t, but i would smoke seb i promise you. Because my drive would be too great, because i’m a boy in my twenties at the top of the world, at peak physical strength.

That said, he’s gonna fuck up. A lot. Because with that attitude, you have to fuck up. I would too. And it’s your fault his lows are so low. You put him on a pedestal and you need to take him off. Just take him off. The same way you did with max, same way you did with lewis. Take him off and i promise it will be better for us all. Let him fuck up and learn and grow. He needs to learn and you should let him. He deserves a chance to explore his full championship contender material.

[omgthisisnotmyrealaccount]

I think a lot of people dismiss when phil called himself bi. Phil said he doesn’t like to label himself and yet everyone thinks Dan said that. If you look at old form springs, when asked, dan seemed more ok with being called bi and having that as his label but overtime dan could not be apart of anything relatively queer so he just became “not gay” and now he’s “not straight either” but Phil’s words get forgotten bc dan was louder in what his identity is and Phil didn’t care what people thought.

i am not the most versed in formspring stuff but like yeah, phil’s words are often forgotten thats why i thought it might’ve had something to do with the fandom’ general dismissal of all things phil, like in fic people often forget than phil is a person outside of his relationship with dan so you know if phil is only attracted to dan he’s only attracted to men 

but as @templeofshame said 

“I don’t think there’s a good answer to this really, but I think there’s more evidence to suggest that Phil might have had some involvement with men before Dan, while if we presume monogamy, there’s not much time for Dan between ex-gf and Phil”

it probably has to do more with dan’s actually relationship history and phil apparently just being incredibly thirsty for any semi-attractive man who talked to him on twitter (if you think dan was desperate, phil was something else)

and like if you’ve ever seen that playlist of just clips of dan talking about who he’s attracted to (i would link it but i’m a lazy piece of shit sorry) it’s hard to come away from that without thinking that dan is defintly attracted to women. all that shit from like 2011-2013 (although 2014, no homo lewis hamilton lol) where dan just had to reassure the world that he was indeed straight even if it meant he said some pretty shitty things about women. 

the same playlist about phil isn’t even half as long because the truth is he doesn’t really say much (as you said dan is just louder about his identity, we don’t need to know you’re a fucking furry dan), phil knows what he is willing to talk about and who he is attracted to is not one of those things. all of the shit he has said has either been just jokey enough so it can be dismissed or from so long ago (msn convos) that it can’t really be applied to him now.

so yeah it might be like a mix of fandom giving less fucks about who phil is attracted to, phil being a fucking wizard at not telling us anything ever, and the more stuff we do know suggests more of a leaning towards dudes. (probably more of the last one really)

idk if i actually responded to your ask its like 5am and i’m trying to ignore the fact that i promised to go shopping with my nan in like 3 hours