#dan feng x reader angst

[milkbobatyun]

a ghost of his past

pairing: dan heng x reader

genre: angstober, events

summary: even in his dreams, his past haunts him.

word count: 630

a/n: which clown pulled for dan heng IL just because his design was really pretty? totally not me !! n e ways take this attempt at a dan heng fic.

the gentle, quiet melody of the CD was seeping into the sleeping quarters of the astral express. its inhabitants were deep in sleep. suddenly, with a horrid screech, it halts. an unnerving silence settled over the sleeping quarters. when the disk starts revolving again, a haunting xiaozhou melody sings from the player.

dan heng lies asleep in his bed, where he finds himself in his own dreamscape. a ghost of a figure haunts his, no, dan feng’s dreams.

they stare into his soul with lifeless eyes, silent in their approach.

even without the memories of his past lives, he knew who you were. his lover. or rather, dan feng’s. his gentle, beautiful lover, who offered him unconditional affection, who was always so understanding of him.

you, whose soft hands brushed at his tears when they fell, massaged away the headaches that accompanied the arduous role of being a high elder. 

your love story was spread far and wide in the xianzhou. many children and young couples aspired to have such a fantastical and romantic love. the two of you were the envies of all lovers. the citizens watched as their high elder, always so cold and judicial in his mannerisms, would soften and gaze at you with the warmest look in his eyes, how the fearsome dragon elder became but a mere puppy in your presence.

in danheng’s fragmented dreams, short films of your love played before him, reminding him of every tender moment. times where you were his sole supporter and believer. the seconds of eternity where you would sneak into his office, a boxed lunch, fresh from the stove, cradled in your hands.

the dreams were bright and warm, like the soft touch of spring, flowers booming in his chest.

the fragile flowers, their buds just beginning to bloom, are swallowed by the cold touch of frost, the lively blooms blackening and withering.

in danheng’s fragmented nightmares, he caught glimpses of your demise. your warped screams echo in his mind, bloody hands clawing at the hem of his coat. he hears your voice, begging for mercy.

the nightmares were cold and lonely, like ice seeping into his veins, cutting into his soul and heart.

as he dreams, blade’s voice echoes in his mind.

“you always knew the price better than any of us.” he hissed, his voice a serpent’s hiss, slithering in his thoughts. “that’s why you sacrificed her.”

“you killed her, for the sake of your planet.” blade taunted, his laugh grating in danheng’s ear. “YOU KILLED HER, WITH YOUR OWN TWO HANDS.”

dan heng squeezed his eyes shut, the blackness of his dreamscape pressing in on him, suffocating him. he covered his ears with his hands, tugging and clawing at his hair, to get your echoing screams out of his mind.

he felt a warm liquid running between his fingers. dan heng held his trembling hands in front of him, watching as blood stained his hands, the bloody spear gripped with shaking fingers.

kneeling by his feet was your lifeless body, a bloody hole where your heart should be.  your eyes are fixed ahead, mouth contorting into words that cut his heart deeper than any sword.

“dan feng. how could you.” you breathed, eyes swimming with hurt. “i thought you loved me.”

with a start, dan heng woke from his dreams. the xianzhou lullaby ceases.

drawing his knees up to his chest, dan heng presses the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“spare me, please,” dan heng pleads to the empty room. “let me forget my past.”

no one responds, but in the depths of his mind, he seems to hear a soft whisper.

“i’m sorry…please don’t forget me.”

the room was silent, but the weight of his past lay burdened on dan heng’s mind.

taglist (open): @leehanscorydora, @pastelmitzuki

∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳)  © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024 / づ ♡

[lixern]

dan feng as your lover, past lover. to one day you wake up yet again without him by your side- but this time, hes no more. news reached your ears of his incarnation. then you see a figure, dan feng? no, dan heng. he has no more memory of you, just a slight feeling of deja vu around you. you walk up to him, greeting him with a gentle hi. oh, your lover as his past form. he returns your gentle voice with a confused, yet soft hi. he asks you,

"do i know you?"

such painful words to hear from someone you did know. did. everything with him was in the past, and it shall not be forever. you may have held him once, but now another shall as of the present. It hurts to see your lover go. but you may no longer call him "yours", as he did, and will never again belong to you.

After all, the joy in his heart consequences you with an ache in return.

Because his heart is no longer yours, but someone elses.

[lowkeyren]

FOR HIS HEART CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

in which — dan feng can’t imagine a life without you. so even when death takes your hand, he'll hold on to your other and do anything to get you back in his embrace, no matter the consequences.

pairing — dan f/heng x gn!reader

wc: 2.5k, lovers to enemies, you both are lowkey bad with feelings LOL, i lied when i said there's an alternative ending for hurt/comfort enjoyers, now suffer. (reblogs w comments are appreciated, pls enjoy <3) ps. dividers aren't working cus tumblr is being mean to me so using dashes instead ARRHGHGHG

—

lying in your shared bed, your breathing grows increasingly shallow, your hands tremble uncontrollably, signaling another episode of your deteriorating condition. the dim, cold room feels oppressive as you catch the distant echoes of the best physicians from all around xianzhou, their hurried steps reverberating against the walls as they hasten to your side.

dan feng tightens his grip on your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, his expression etched with concern. the smell of herbal remedies and the sharp scent of sickness fills the air, mingling with the mustiness of the stone walls; a familiar sense of dread washes over you as you struggle with each breath.

his brows are furrowed, and his lips are pressed into a thin line, his knuckles turning white from the tightness of his grip on your hands. the pressure is so intense that it almost hurts —almost, but not quite enough to cause you (more) pain. he would never hurt you, not even over his own grave.

despite the best efforts of your personal caregivers, the limitations of medical knowledge, and the uncertainty of your treatments are harsh realities you have to face. it fills him with anguish to witness your episodes almost daily —suddenly collapsing in his arms, gasping for breath; moments like these are where he feels like he's standing right beside your deathbed, desperately hoping for signs of improvement each time you open your eyes again. 

it kills him that there's nothing he can do but watch over you, he watches as you waste away before his eyes, feeling a piece of himself wither away in tandem. 

dan feng’s eyes search yours the moment you regain consciousness, the doctors respectfully step back, bowing before hurriedly exiting the room. his heart breaks into a million pieces when he sees your eyes that were once bright with joy, now clouded with tears. the sight pierces through him, stirring a deep ache in his chest.

"dan feng," you whisper hoarsely, your voice fragile with pain. “it hurts, it hurts so much…” he presses a soft kiss against your entwined hand, his touch a soothing balm amidst the storm raging within him. “don’t worry,” he murmurs softly, “i’ll make it go away soon, i swear.”

“thank you.. but promise me, if i don't make it, you'll find a way to move on.” you manage a weak smile through the pain. his eyes glisten with unshed tears, he shakes his head slightly, "i won’t let that happen." 

of course he won’t. you were the kindest, most lovely soul before this godforsaken unknown illness with no definitive cure stole your life away; he sees your smile slowly losing its radiance, and your eyes dulling as each day passes. 

“this body… it’s useless, i’m useless. i’m sorry, i—” dan feng places a finger against your lips. his touch tender yet firm, stopping your words. "don't say that," his voice choking with emotion. "you're not useless, in fact you're the strongest person i know."

hearing you utter such self loathing words is like a dagger twisting in his heart, tipping him over the edge. you, who have always been his anchor in life's turbulent seas, slipping away feels like fragile glass shattering into countless shards, leaving him scattered and irreparable, each piece cutting deeper into his core with every breath.

he can't face the idea of losing you. it destroys him from within, even more so now that time is running out. but he won’t let anyone else have you, not even the cold hands of death. for you, he’s willing to pay any price, even if it means he has to break the highest laws of xianzhou.

—

you wake up feeling unusually energized, a stark contrast to the persistent aches and pains that have haunted you for so long. as you sit up, the familiar discomforts are no longer present, instead replaced by an almost surreal sense of vitality.

but something feels strangely off, an unsettling sensation gnawing at the edges of your awareness. your eyes dart around the room, frantically searching for your boyfriend’s presence; he has never left your side without a word (his protectiveness wouldn't allow it anyway), especially not for this long. 

panic flares as you look down at your body. the surgical wounds that once marked your skin have vanished without a trace. your breath catches in your throat as you run your fingers over the smooth, unblemished surface where scars should be.

you push back the covers and swing your legs over the side of the bed, struggling to piece together what could have happened.

where is dan feng? is he in trouble? and, why do you feel so... alive? 

then, a chilling realisation dawns on you. you try to shake the thought from your mind, but no matter how hard you try, you aren’t able to find any other explanation that fits your condition. as the high elder, dan feng should know better than anyone that such an act is a sin —a disgrace...

the truth begins to settle in, he really did sacrifice everything to grant you immortality.

—

“you’re literally the high elder for god's sake, what have you done?!” you exclaim, your voice trembling with a mix of disbelief and anger.

dan feng's expression is pained as he meets your gaze, his own eyes filled with a desperate resolve. “i’m only trying to help you. you don’t understand, i—”

“help me?” you cut in sharply, scoffing. “you betrayed xianzhou! you betrayed me. i was ready to let go, so why?” 

he reaches out to you, his hand stopping, and hovering in mid air as if unsure whether to touch you. "i can't bear to lose you," he confesses, his voice barely a whisper. "i can’t just stand by and watch you suffer when i have the power to save you."

tears well up in your eyes, the room feels suffocatingly small as you stand in front of him. for the first time, you find yourself on opposite sides of the battlefield, the weight of his transgression hangs heavy between you, tearing apart everything you once knew. 

“by defying everything we stand for?” you choke out, your words laced with venom. “do you realise just what you’ve done?” he takes a step closer, his face etching with anguish. "i know i’ve made a grave mistake." he admits, “but will you believe me if i say that i didn’t regret it one bit?”

“how can you do all this… for love?” your eyes search his for answers that seem unfathomable. “no, my dear, for you.”  he steps closer, his breath warm against your skin, gaze locking onto yours with an almost desperate intensity. 

"but how can i ever love you again after this?" you whisper, your voice trembling. his heart shatters at how your eyes taint with fear and betrayal, the sight wrapping around his chest like a vice. the mere thought of losing you, of seeing you banished because of his desperation, is a torment he can hardly bear —but now one that he has to face.

"if you can't accept what i've done, i'll grant your wish, whatever it is.” he murmurs. “for you, i’m willing to pay any price." 

though when bound in chains, his title of high elder does little to shield him from the repercussions of breaking the sacred laws. he’s taken away; his fate sealed by the very rules he broke. and you, the one he tried to save, find yourself exiled, cast out for the sin you never chose.

as you wander, lost and alone, the realisation of what he gave up for you lingers, a bittersweet reminder of his love that defied everything, yet cost you both so much. 

—

the land of xianzhou is something dan heng is strangely familiar with; he walks through the maze of narrow alleys and crowded squares, every corner seems to whisper fragments of memories long buried. 

“dan heng! look, isn’t this so cool?!” the excited voice of a pink haired girl reaches his ears. her eyes sparkle with enthusiasm as she animatedly gestures towards a nearby market stall with hand-carved trinkets. she continues to gush over the intricate designs while holding the hand of her grey haired companion, eagerly dragging them towards the stall.

his eyes follows them as their silhouette grows smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing amidst the crowd. just then, another figure in the distance catches his attention.

it’s a brief glimpse, a fleeting moment where your eyes meet across the street. perhaps it's your mannerisms, your familiar gestures, or simply the way you carry yourself —whatever it is, it stirs a rush of adrenaline, a sense of déjà vu that he can’t quite shake.

dan heng pushes through the bustling throng, eyes darting frantically in search of you. the world blurs around him as he focuses solely on catching another glimpse of you; he spots you slipping into a narrow alleyway, and without hesitation, he follows.

the noise of the market fades into a distant hum as his footsteps echo softly against the alley walls. he turns a corner and sees you up ahead, your figure outlined by the dim light filtering through cracks in the buildings.

you soon reach a dead end, but as you turn to leave, you bump into someone’s chest. the world seems to stand still for a moment, dan heng's breath catches in his throat as he looks down at you. although your face is partially obscured by a thin veil, your features are still discernible. 

“oh? it seems you still remember me.” you finally meet his gaze. those eyes he cherished so dearly still hold a spark of life. “[name]?” he murmurs, the sound of your name still so intimate on his lips after many years.

“you haven’t changed one bit.” he reaches out to gently push the veil covering your face aside. a flood of memories rushes through his mind, one a sharp pang in his heart. seeing you again triggers a vivid recollection of the exact place and position you were in years ago, a memory that stings to recall.

“i wonder whose fault it is?” you tilt your head, if only he knew the trouble you went through to find him again; given that goodbyes were never exchanged between you, it seems fitting to offer one now.

before he can say a word, you swiftly grab his collar and wedge him firmly against the wall. he doesn’t resist even when he feels the cold sharp edge of your dagger pressing against his throat, his gaze still fixing firmly on yours. 

"have you ever felt remorse?" you lean closer into him, your voice is barely audible through your gritted teeth. he ignores your question; unexpectedly, he grips your hand, dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart. 

"as long as my blood is on your hands, go ahead, do it." he whispers, his voice steady despite the tension. "my heart has always been yours anyway." his eyes bore into yours as if daring you to follow through. 

his grip on your hand tightens, urging you closer. "and if this is what it takes to ease your pain, then i'm ready."

"...what? you must be out of your mind if you think this way of making amends will work." your disbelief is clear in your voice; you try to shake his hand away, but he refuses to budge. 

dan feng couldn’t imagine a life without you, so when death takes your hand, he holds on to your other —and finds you again as dan heng. even as he gets on his knees and begs for your forgiveness, he still holds on to your hand as tightly as he can, afraid that any moment you might slip through his fingers.

“i’m sorry, i just couldn’t accept the thought of you leaving me.” and i still can’t, so please don’t leave me again.

you feel your willpower wavering, his very being melting away at your resolve. it's too much to bear, and you feel yourself slipping under the weight of his words. even still, you find yourself struggling to deny him. to deny yourself. to deny your own feelings. 

you fight the urge to simply give in, torn between the desire to just let go and fall into the sweet oblivion of his embrace, and the fear of getting sucked back into a cycle of destruction and pain. the weight of all that history, all those memories of your bittersweet love, it's overwhelming, nearly crushing.

“i know.” your heart aches, but you still deny the crave of the comfort of his arms. “and you’re not wrong,” the dagger clatters to the ground, the metallic sound echoing through the alleyway. 

“your heart is mine.” you push the veil to cover your face, placing your hands on his shoulder, leaning in. the cool silk brush against his parted lips, and oh… he’s been waiting so, so long for this moment.

though you pull away just as he comes to his senses. for the first time in years, he sees your smile again —the same smile that first captivated him, the one he had cherished and sought to preserve over the years. 

"remember the wish you owe me?" he nods, unable to find words. the memory of his promise resurfaces with startling clarity, his mind racing with the possibilities of what you might ask for. 

—

dan heng looks in the dagger's reflection; a dishevelled and broken man stares back.

the cold metal digs deep into his palm, the sharp edge slicing into his skin. in that moment, he wants nothing more than to be free of it, than to plunge the blade into his own heart. he feels the pain all over again, the pain of not being able to hold you, to touch you, to be with you.

for he knows that no matter how tightly he grips the dagger, it will never be the same as holding your hand. he knows that no matter how deeply it cuts into his flesh, it will never feel the same as holding you close.

“i wish i never loved you.” your words echo painfully in his mind. “and i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.” he releases the dagger with a sudden twist of his arm.

if choosing you over xianzhou was wrong, then consider him a sinner, and if loving you this much is his downfall, then consider him already on his knees.

but was it worth everything? was it worth it to see the look of utter desperation on his face? was it worth it to see him break apart in front of you? you feel only resentment and satisfaction; you made him feel what you wanted him to feel, you made him suffer for you.

the blade falls from his grasp, he stands amidst the shards of shattered illusions; the pain of your absence cuts deeper than any blade ever could. 

perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again. 

for now, he honors your wish and only watches as you live on from the sidelines, yearning to be a part of your life again, even if only in his thoughts and dreams. he remains steadfast in his longing, a silent witness to the unspoken ache that lingers in the wake of your parting words.

—

masterlist

©lowkeyren 2024 only on tumblr. please do not plagiarize, translate, repost on other platforms, or feed my works into ai.

author's notes!! (my line of thought when writing this lul)

1. you made him suffer for you. -> irony. vengeance. he made you suffer BECAUSE of him granting you immortality. 2. dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart. = "my heart has always been yours anyway." -> which reader says with “your heart is mine.” 3. “and i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.” -> reader refers to dan heng as dan feng, i wonder what that means. 4. perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again. -> you're both evil asf ngl, yes he will find you, you can't die aka you can't leave (him). ^ the only reason why he doesn't keep pursuing u now is cus he promised to grant your wish which is "to never cross paths again". (wow, he's such a man of his words.) 5. reader kisses dh over the veil, deliberately denying him the satisfaction of any intimacy. can be seen as a form of "punishment", leaving him yearning for more.

ty for reading xx for each reblog i will write 100 words for pt2 /j (BUT DO REBLOG IF U ENJOYED!! and it might not be a slash jay after all heuehehheh)

[k9wa]

𑣲 RENEWAL. ft. DAN (F)HENG

⠀ — it is not he that is familiar to you, nor you to him.

⠀ OR

⠀ — time and reincarnation aren’t enough to ever make you truly forget each other.

⚠︎ angst if you squint, fluff, mild hsr spoilers? thank u to the high cloud quintet for having the most heart breaking lore, i listened to memory by toby fox on repeat while writing this.

dan heng wasn’t sure what to feel when his eyes met yours.

familiarity? no, that’s not possible. he’s never met you.

nostalgia? no, that too was not possible. he cannot name one person who your eyes could possibly remind him of.

…what was it? what was it that had left dan heng unable to will his gaze to move somewhere else? surely the intense eye contact was leaving you uncomfortable, even he was beginning to feel squirmy in his own skin as you stared back at him with an equal intensity.

dan heng can feel something in the deepest pit of his mind, leaking down and adding to the tense knot in his gut. 

yet, the feeling isn’t…unwelcome.

it’s warm. it’s akin to a comforting hand on his shoulder, or a small squeeze to his fingers. he could not, no matter how hard he tried, recall a time such a sensation had left him so utterly speechless. 

“dan heng?”

it’s welt’s voice that finally pulled him out of his trance, his eyes blinking rapidly a few times before he turned his head to look at the older man.

“sorry. what was that?”

dan heng shook his head as if to rid himself of the thoughts of you. what was your name again? yukong had just informed him. not that he was really listening, anyway.

the conversation between his crew and the sky-faring commissions helm master continued on, talk of stellarons and something about the cloud knight’s general. dan heng couldn’t seem to focus despite his efforts.

another voice calls out to him just before he can depart alongside caelus and march, however this time it is not the deep and rough voice of his companion, but one that is much sweeter, and seems to strike a chord somewhere within him.

“dan heng?”

he turns around and is once more met with your eyes. dan heng willed himself to blink and nod before he could be entranced by them once more.

“i apologize, but…”

you trailed off before you were able to get the words out of your mouth, and there you found yourself back in the odd silence the two of you had just broken out of.

“…have we met before?”

you asked, and it finally clicked with dan heng where he had seen only snippets and flashes of you before.

my dreams, he thought. the dreams that haunted him night in and night out, but would occasionally grant him just a glance of a peaceful memory.

“no. we haven’t.”

you’re an amicassador of the sky-fairing commission, one brought on board long after he was banned from the ship that you called home. your meeting at any point before now would have been impossible.

yet, his mind drifts to the occasional memory he has only when deep in slumber.

“yingxing gifted me this.”

he looks down at you, head in his lap as you pull a small jade coin out of your pocket, a fine “永” carefully carved into the surface.

“he has too much time on his hands now that jing yuan is growing.”

your chuckle is soothing to his ears, the sound like a balm applied directly to his soul.

your face is unclear, almost as if his eyes are unfocused. yet your voice is unmistakable.

“i don’t disagree.”

is all he responds, fingers idly pushing a few stray hairs behind your ear as he looks down at you. although he can’t see it, he can feel the grass he and you reside on, smell the pollen off the fresh flowers the breeze blows towards him, can feel the sun on his skin.

“you’re sure?” you question again, voice just as calming as he was sure he’d imagined until now.

“you just—“ you chuckle a bit, almost awkwardly. “—seem so familiar, is all.”

you try to approach the topic subtly, but you truly did know him. from your own dreams, the ones you had that woke you in a cold sweat from just how real and jarring they felt, regardless of whether they were mild or sweet in nature. they conjured such emotion in you.

“baiheng was telling me of reincarnation.”

you muse to him, sitting with one hand on the ground just over his crossed legs, leaving you leaning across him.

“do you believe in such a thing?”

“of course.”

he nods, hand naturally finding it’s place on your waist.

“don’t you?”

“i don’t think so.”

you reach your free hand out to play mindlessly with the silver trim of his robes.

“it’s a nice thought, though.”

dan feng can only hum quietly.

“some day,” he began, drawing your attention back up to his face. “after i reach my end, i’ll come back to find you.”

the small tug of his lips could only be described as a smirk, but it felt softer than that.

“to prove it to you.”

you tilt your head teasingly, brow cocked.

“how will you recognize me?” “I would know you blind.”

he can feel his chest warm as you smile at him.

“i’ll hold you to that.”

“sorry.” dan heng bowed his head lightly. 

“but we haven’t met before.”

he was being truthful, you hadn’t. it was your past lives that you two had been acquainted, had formed a bond so strong that it appeared to have transcended death itself.

dan heng did not wish to have dan feng’s deeds or past haunt him any more than they already do. the urge he felt to sit and talk with you, to perhaps hold your hand or touch your face would surely only lead him down a path he’d apparently gone down centuries ago.

“right.”

you nod at him, bowing yourself.

“sorry to keep you, it was nice to meet you.”

dan heng was released and regrouped with his crew, march and caelus bickering about something or the other and walking ahead of him. he decided to stay a bit further behind with welt.

his decision quickly regretted when welt gave him a knowing look, the lines on the older man’s forehead deepening as his eyebrows pushed together.

“you know them.”

“i know who they used to be. that’s all.”

welt can read the room well enough to know to end the topic there. dan heng had never enjoyed or been keen on talking of dan feng, and being back on the xianzhou alone had already left him with an unusual tension in his shoulders.

even as he walked away, moving up to engage in conversation with the sillier two of the quadrant, dan heng couldn’t shake you from his head. your smile, the way you held yourself as yukong introduced you, the small laugh that he had not expected would weave itself so deeply in his chest.

he kept walking on anyway. dan heng was not him.

⠀ 𑣲 MASTERLIST / GOT A REQUEST ?

[generalsdiary]

you brought your partner a flower bouquet. it isn’t something they often receive, and you felt a desire to change that. being a solemn, thoughtful person after thanking you they said;

“yes… it is sad that I’ll have to watch them die.” “they started dying the moment they were picked. kind of like humans, from the age of 25 their bodies officially begin to die.” upon hearing your words they look back at you, sharing a knowing look. “that is too short. I…” they clench their jaw for a moment. “humans have too short of a life span. we- I will find a way” soft, whispered words flowing between you two like a breeze on an early spring morning.

depending on the context behind their words, that perhaps brought you joy, that your loved one would go above and beyond to have as much time as possible with you. or it filled you with fear, knowing their history with such ways of life manipulation.

“no matter how much time we have, we will be alright. I cherish every moment I get with you. and once I’m gone-“

“please don’t say that.” their voice fell to a broken whisper. noticing the change in their body language, you moved closer, cupping their face, and matching their quiet tone you said, “let’s stay in the present. I’m right here, living and breathing. focus on me, on my heart,” you take their hand and place their palm on your chest. “on how it beats for you. for us.”

Dan Heng, Jingliu, Blade, Dan Feng, Neuvillette, Xiao, Wanderer, Scaramouche, Capitano

divider cr: @saradika

[la2yn0va]

Yo! Can i request some Yandere high cloud quinlet (together) x male reader, that has a habit of not caring at all for his life? Like the reader despite having a good reputantion and has one of the highest potential within the cloud knights. His powers/techniques foes harm to his body. (I Dunno if you seem jujutsu kaisen when Megumi summons Mahoraga, that summoning him cost the user his life? Well put the reader in a similar situation)

CW: Yandere characters, Suicidal(?) Reader

——

“Why are so intent on worrying us?” Dan Feng said as he healed your body with some strange vidyadhara technique. “Whaat? I’m not dead, and I’m pretty sure some random Mara-struck soldiers ain’t gonna kill ME” M/n had refuted, which seemed to tick off the high elder.

“That’s not the point! I’m talking about your technique!” He heaved out with frustration. M/n sighed and rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear the same speech he’d been hearing since he started. Dan Feng looked even more frustrated, grabbing his ear and harshly pulling and pinching

“Owowowow! Fuck!! Wait—!!” “Don’t get sassy with me m/n. This is serious!” He said, not hiding his frustration. M/n continued to yelp in pain. “Okay okay!! You’ve made your point!! Owowowow!!!” Just then, baiheng and Yingxinq walked in seeing Dan Feng harshly disciplining m/n.

They watched with mixed reactions, wanting to step in but also wanting to discipline you for, once again, getting them worried. “Have l?! I seem to remember ‘making my point’ to you repeatedly!! And yet you STILL go on and repeat your previous actions!!” He got increasingly more frustrated and pissed. However, before it could escalate, baiheng and yingxinq stepped in.

Yingxinq stopping Dan Feng and baiheng taking care of m/n’s hurtting ear “Calm down Feng. I’m sure he’s learned his lesson” “Don’t be a fool Yingxinq! How many times have I, Jingliu, and Jing yuan repeated this lecture with him and he has yet to take us seriously!”

“You okay sweetie~?” Baiheng said quietly, not missing the chance to get herself in m/n’s good side. He nodded and was immediately met with a slap on his nape “OW!!” “Are you trying to give us a heart attack!?” She said with worry, before he could respond, Yingqinx left a slap of his own.

“OW!! It’s a force of habit okay!? Plus, it’s not like—!” “What’s going on in here.” A colder voice sliced through m/n’s words. M/n froze as he saw jingliu walking in with jing yuan. “Good luck m/n” Yingxinq said as jingliu immediately walked angrily towards m/n.

“H-heyyyyyy jingliu…….. h-how’re you?” He nervously smiled as her red eyes glared into his. “Ahaha…I-I’m doing good to! I just came back from killing of monsters of the abundance—” “Did you use your technique?” She said, knowing the answer.

M/n stayed silent, nervously laughing and looking around to avoid the question. Jingliu had seen enough, harshly grabbing his other ear that wasn’t assaulted by Dan Feng’s wrath earlier and tugging and pinching his cheek “OWOWWWWWW!!!!!” He yelled as Jingliu DID. NOT. Hold back, making sure to dig it into his thick skull of how unacceptable his actions are.

“Are you actually this fucking dense!? How many times do I have to discipline you boy!!” She didn’t give him time to respond, her strength increasing by the second and managing to make his tear up slightly “OKAY OKAY I GET IT!!” “I DONT THINK YOU FUCKING DO!!”

Jing yuan and baiheng stepped up, both saving m/n from jingliu’s increasing wrath. “Calm down master. There’s a far more appropriate punishment then physical punishment” “Silence jing yuan! M/n needs to be reminded HARSHLY how—” “Let’s just.. hear him out jingliu” Baiheng’s reasonable voice managed to calm jingliu down.

“M/n. As General of the luofu, I’m banning you from the battlefield” “WHAT!!?” He yelled, the pain immediately being neglected as he stood up. Yingxinq keeping him from walking up to Jing yuan and throwing a punch.

“Until you grow out of this habit and change your technique, I will not allow you to rejoin the battle ground, and you WILL be arrested on sight” Jing yuan repeated with seriousness and authoritatively. M/n looked around, seeing that everyone was in agreement with this. “Your fucking kidding!” “Come on m/n. This is a reasonable reaction” “Yingxinq, you can’t actually—!” “I don’t see anything wrong with it” Baiheng interjected.

M/n growled lowly, clearly annoyed before walking away, only to be stopped by jingliu’s hand and Dan Feng’s tail. “Your not leaving our sight” Dan Feng said as m/n struggled against their grip, before giving up, deciding to try and escape later “Fine…”

-The End-

[otterneuvillette]

✧ HER HIGHNESS, MY DIVINE ! ✧

⋆⚡️— Pairings: jing yuan x fem! reader

⋆⚡️— Sypnosis: You are the oldest heir to the throne of the Xianzhou Luofu and as per tradition, you needed to find a spouse to rule the kingdom with, for diplomatic reasons. Jing Yuan seemed to oppose that.

⋆⚡️ — content: fem! reader, jealous jing yuan, and angst (slight Dan Feng x reader.)

⋆⚡️ — A/N: You and jing yuan had grown up together, he was assigned to you when the two of you were 17.

Also life has been very busy rn, so part two will happen but it'll take a while.

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“I will dispose of him for you,” Jing Yuan says, on his knees in front of you. His hands are rough, but so gentle as they clasp your hand.

“Your Highness, please, it is of little consequence to me. I would rot in prison if you asked me to.”

He doesn’t care that he’s been reduced to begging. He cannot stand to let you marry that man. You’re the heir of the Xianzhou Luofu, you should deserve someone better. As your knight, Jing Yuan only wants the best for you.

"There's no reason for you to do so, This is only marriage for the benefit of the kingdom, it is my duty. I will be fine, my dear knight."

Your silk-gloved hands covered his in a soothing manner.

"It will be okay." You whispered softly.

"As you wish, Your Highness,” Jing Yuan said, but he was clearly not at ease with your decision. He keeps his mouth shut and his hands at his sides.

You can't see the tension in his shoulders. He knows it’s not his place to interfere in the affairs of the empire, but he wants nothing more than to protect you from your impending marriage to the Imbibitor Lunae.

Jing Yuan would do anything for you.

You only have to ask.

"I may be blind to some things, my knight. But I'm not blind to the fact that you are concerned about this matter. Be at ease, my knight, there is no need for you to worry."

Your hand ruffled through his soft snowy hair at his kneeled position. Jing Yuan's whole being relaxes. Any tension he held within himself melts away like sunlight melting fresh snow in spring. Your touch is pure magic.

His knighthood is both an honor and his entire world. He has dedicated his life to your service... but your touch makes him forget about that for a moment. He is your best friend, first and foremost.

Your eyes crinkled as your eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, My knight, My Jing Yuan. Please do not feel anguish, There's still a chance for you to serve another princess...maybe one of my sisters?"

Sighing softly, your gloved hands retract from his hair and rest on your lap.

Jing Yuan shakes his head firmly.

"I...I cannot serve any princess like I serve you," he tells you. "To serve anyone else would be an insult, Your Highness."

It is his duty to be a knight, you see, but it is more than that for Jing Yuan. You are his world. He cannot imagine spending the rest of his life serving another.

"I only want to serve you," he tells you softly.

"Now, don't be like that, my knight. I will not let you wallow in your sorrow because of me."

"I cannot help but feel sorrow, Your Highness," He explains. He takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure.

"But you are right… I cannot let that get in the way of my duty to you. No matter what comes next, I will remain faithful to you."

He stands up, finally, and offers you a slight bow.

"My sword is yours to command, Your Highness."

Jing Yuan's expression is resolute.

"But, If I cannot serve you, I will serve no one," he says. "There is no other princess whose life matters to me. I am your loyal knight, and your loyal knight you will always have."

Jing Yuan will not be swayed by your wishes. He will not leave your side and serve some other princess.

You sighed, your frame shivering by the coldness of the royal hall, cold and empty.

"Stand, my knight." You whispered.

JIng Yuan stands up quickly.

"Yes, Your Highness."

He is standing at attention, ready to hear your next wish. Anything you want. He will follow all your orders, even if you wish to marry another, he will stand by your side.

It is his life's purpose. His raison d'etre.

"Please call upon my lady-in-waiting. I must prepare for dinner with Lord Dan Feng tonight."

You leaned against the armrest of the throne for support as you stood, the thick fur coat weighed heavily on your shoulders.

"And please....be on your best behavior, Jing Yuan."

"At once."

He left, and after a few moments, he returned.

Jing Yuan bowed deeply as he stepped in front of you.

"Is there anything else Your Highness requires?" He asks.

"I'll be heading to my chambers."

Your steps were light and quiet against the floor. The sleeves and the ends of your hanfu brushed against the smooth marble floor.

"Oh, and please tell the maids and chefs to get the dining hall ready for dinner at once."

You adjust the fur coat over yourself to protect your body from the cold and you let out a sigh.

You walk towards the doors of the throne room, feeling a heavy weight on your shoulder.

"It will be done, Your Highness," Jing Yuan replies. His voice is formal, but there is a clear pride and reverence in it. He serves you and is happy to be your knight.

Jing Yuan watches you as you walk down the length of the hall. Even as you leave his line of sight, your back is still straight, your steps proud, your beauty… unmatched.

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Your maid and chefs have quickly turned the dining hall into a place worthy of Lord Dan Feng.

You are seated at the head of the grand table. With Jing Yuan lingering near the door, but still close to you. Servants bustle around the room in preparation for the main course of the evening, but your head chef serves you and Lord Dan Feng a meal of various dishes of meats, vegetables, seasonal desserts, and sweet rice wine.

"Lord Dan Feng, I hope you enjoy the meal."

With elegant movements and a well-mannered way of talking, You started the conversation.

Dan Feng, known as Imbibitor Lunae was a feared emperor in his kingdom. Rumors spread across nations, for his strict and slightly unjust way of ruling.

He had sharp ears, as well as teal horns. A son of a Vidyadhara indeed. But he was beautiful, with a tall, slender figure with black hair, fair skin, and agate green eyes, enhanced by the red eyeliner that underlined them.

He was draped in a green and gold hanfu, paired the the black fur that was once from a magnificent beast that was a disturbance from his kingdom the Scalegorge Waterscape.

"Your Royal Highness, the food in your kingdom is as exquisite as I remembered."

The two of you make polite small talk as you eat your meal. Dan Feng is the first to return to the main topic.

"Your Royal Highness," he asks, as your servants fill the two of you’s glasses. "What is your impression of our latest round of negotiations with your neighboring kingdom?"

"It has been well executed. Our kingdom's affairs will be settled at a much faster and smoother pace now."

Dan Feng nods, accepting your response.

"Indeed. Our kingdom's harmony will only advance from here onwards."

Dan Feng's face becomes serious. He puts his glass down.

"It is a great honor to be invited to your table." His voice is low and measured.

"But I would be a fool to not think about what this dinner could mean for the future." He takes a sip of his wine.

"We have talked business. Now, I would like to talk of union."

Jing Yuan's grip on the sheath of his blade tightened.

"Yes, I've been wanting to talk about that."

Your frame sat straighter, as you examined Dan Feng's expression, he had a sly smirk on his lips and his vibrant eyes looking into yours.

Your rose-colored lips curled into a soft smile after you took a sip from your wine.

"A marriage between our kingdoms would secure a political alliance the likes of which has not been seen by our nation in decades."

He leans closer towards you.

"I wish to have an empress, who is as radiant and wise as you. If our kingdom joined together, the entire world will tremble."

He reaches out to your hand and takes it into his own with a gentle touch.

Jing Yuan felt his jealousy coiling around his heart like a serpent.

Dan Feng has made a direct and deliberate show of his intentions. Not only is this dinner a display of his political strengths, it is also a declaration of his intent to marry you.

Jing Yuan watches this exchange from his station by the door. He cannot hide his jealousy… or his anger.

His eyes are fixed upon you, his princess, his every sense alert to any threats that may come your way.

"I am flattered, Your Grace. Thank you for your sweet words." You were flustered, trying to keep composure.

Dan Feng leans in closer. He seems to be studying you, but it does not feel like an inspection as he looks over your face, your hair, your hands. It feels like you may be the most important, most beautiful thing in the room.

Finally, he leans closer, your breath catches in your throat.

All you can hear are the quiet whispers of the servants, the crackling of the fire....

And Jing Yuan's armor clinking as he moves.

You notice Dan Feng's gaze on you, studying your face like someone who has already decided what they wants to do. He is direct and leaves no room for uncertainty. His words are simple, yet his message is made clear: he wants you to be his wife.

"Lord Dan Feng, I believe this would be inappropriate to do before marriage." You whispered, breathing quite heavily.

It was clear that you were put off by the close distance. The smell of the sickly sweet wine and the scent that Dan Feng had, made your head spin.

"My apologies for my forwardness, Your Highness," Dan Feng replies quickly. Jing Yuan can practically feel in insincerity of Dan Feng's words as his temper boils within him.

"I meant nothing by it."

Dan Feng is a gentleman when he wants to be. He pulls away, leaving the smallest bit of space between you. He is no longer trying to make physical contact.

He has learned to control his emotions and is once again calm and collected.

"The marriage is to be arranged soon," Dan Feng adds, "It will be of benefit to our people."

You nodded.

"It will, I hope this will bring prosperity to our kingdoms."

A small smile plays across Dan Feng's lips. His eyes remain on you.

"I see what my advisors have said is true. You are beautiful and wise."

His words are like poison to Jing Yuan's ears.

"Our unions will be fruitful. Together, we will lead this world into a new age."

His words are laced with honey. His gaze never breaks from yours.

Jing Yuan's jaw clenches.

The two of you continued eating in silence, enjoying the atmosphere as the royal bards were singing a tune. A few cups of wine later, Jing Yuan could see the color spreading across your cheeks, you were never a heavy drinker.

Dan Feng was eyeing you from across the table, like a prize that he needed to grab and keep for himself. The fact that you failed to notice it made Jing Yuan even more possessive.

Dan Feng leaned closer yet again, seemingly wanting to kiss you.

Jing Yuan couldn't stand it anymore. He stood next to you, a gentle and possessive gesture.

"Your Grace," His voice is gentle yet firm, "I believe that Her Highness said that close contact is not appropriate before marriage."

He said that with a mocking tone.

His eyes are focused on the man beside you, who has taken such liberties in his conduct with you, His princess. Dan Feng seems unfazed as he meets your knight's gaze. Jing Yuan wants to strangle this man for his audacity.

"Please refrain from doing anything to Her Highness, or I will-"

"Jing Yuan."

You said in a warning tone.

"At ease."

Jing Yuan snaps to attention immediately upon hearing your voice.

"Your Highness," he bows his head deeply.

He will not let a single thought in his mind or emotion escape his body unless you, his princess allow it.

He stares daggers at Dan Feng, but his expression remains neutral…. but any outside could see the burning, lethal gaze in his eyes. Jing Yuan will not dare say a single word out of turn again.

A servant refills Dan Feng's wine.

Dan Feng drinks deeply and grins wolfishly at your knight.

"I see that you care deeply for the Princess," he says with a sneer, looking over at Jing Yuan. "Your service to her is admirable."

Your Knight stares right back, expressionless.

"I hope you do not mind me being so close." Dan Feng leans towards you again, his green eyes fixed on your face. His voice is sweet, like honey, but the threat in his words is clear.

Jing Yuan does not answer.

He is clearly upset, angry, and jealous at the sight of this man. This man, who is trying to steal you from him.

He stands by your side, unmoving, trying his best to hide his emotions… not only from you but from himself.

His loyalty will never falter, but he wants this man to go away, Jing Yuan gets the impression that Dan Feng doesn't like him either.

The glint in Dan Feng's eyes irked him.

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"It's getting late, Lord Dan Feng. Would you like for my maids to prepare a room for you?"

Dan Feng smiles, and puts his glass down.

"Why, thank you, your Highness."

He rises from the table, and bows his head.

"Please, allow me to spend one more night as a guest of the Xianzhou Luofu. I will be on my way tomorrow before dawn."

He gives you a little wink, which you notice, and so does Jing Yuan, who can only give Dan Feng a death glare.

"Then, I'll let my maids see you to it."

Dan Feng is taken away to a guest bedroom.

Your knight stands next to you, looking out the large window into the darkness.

Finally, he clears his throat.

"Your Highness." He whispers. His body language is stiff, almost as if he wants his jealousy to be noticed. It is difficult for him to contain his emotions, but he cannot allow himself to say words that may bring harm to you.

"Could we speak in private?" He says quickly.

But that made you even more agitated.

"What happened back there?!"

Jing Yuan was surprised by the tone of your voice.

"He's trying to seduce you, Your Highness."

Jing Yuan is angry, his arms crossed, his body tense.

He's not sure how to process what has happened. His mind is spinning as he tries to remain calm and professional for your sake.

"He was being…inappropriate. If it were anyone else, I would have removed them from your presence myself."

He is talking as little as he can, in calming his anger.

"That doesn't mean you have to threaten him like that! Did you forget who he is?!" You whisper-shouted.

"His Grace is a guest, Your Highness."

Jing Yuan's face is full of conflicting emotions. He is worried for you, angry at Dan Feng, but even so, he does not want to risk harm upon to you or your kingdom by acting against Dan Feng.

He is used to keeping his emotions in check. But it's almost painful for him not to go over to Dan Feng and throw him out of your palace with his own two hands.

"I cannot allow some foreign prince to touch you so freely, to gaze at you with such lust and hunger…"

Jing Yuan's voice trails off.

"And he is going to be my wedded husband by contract! Do you know the consequences if you harmed him, our nations would go to war !" You exclaimed.

"Yes, I'm aware, Your Highness."

His face is blank, but his heart is full of turmoil.

He hates having to stand by as some foreign prince takes such liberties with the woman he loves.

But he cannot betray your trust. He will not defy your orders.

The knight turns back to you, eyes darting between your face, the floor, and the windows… anything to avoid looking at your face directly.

"Your Highness," Jing Yuan's voice is tense and formal. "May I ask why you are… entertaining his advances?

You sighed, your body seemed to deflate like a balloon.

"Because I thought that maybe, it would assure me that he wouldn't back out from this agreement."

Jing Yuan's face twitches in confusion.

"Your Highness, are you saying you… do not want this marriage?"

His tone and face are utterly blank, but you can tell that he is surprised by your admission.

He clears his throat, hoping to move this subject of conversation into more acceptable terrain.

"Why would he back out of this arrangement? This marriage would benefit both kingdoms, this is simply a political decision. You have no intention of… becoming close with him?"

"The kingdoms' safety is paramount and my hands are tied politically. But you must understand that… I need this marriage to happen. I cannot let the sacrifices of my parents go in vain."

You swiftly avoided his question.

There is a deep conflict in your heart. "I have to marry him. It's the only way this kingdom would survive."

"Little finch," you feel Jing Yuan's eyes burning into you. Your knight yearns to touch you, to kiss you, to hug you. His desire becomes more and more apparent. But he knows this is not the way. He is to be your knight, your protector, nothing more.

But the way you put it so clearly. Your marriage is necessary to keep your kingdom safe. He understands the importance of your duty… but even more so than that… He wants you to be happy and he knows this marriage is the opposite of happiness.

You chuckled sadly. "You haven't called me that in years."

"Just please, Jing Yuan. You have been my best friend since we were 17. Please understand how this means so much to me and this kingdom. It's my responsibility as the oldest heir."

You've never seen Jing Yuan so… sad before.

He's always been disciplined and has never let his emotions get the better of him. But this… this is hurting him greatly.

He takes a deep breath and then looks up at you.

"I will not stand in the way of your marriage, Your Princess."

He kneels before you and puts his head down, letting his hair fall forward. His expression was steady but his voice wasn't.

"The interests of the Kingdom come before my personal affairs."

"Personal affairs? Jing Yuan, what do you mean by that?"

Jing Yuan remains focused on looking at the ground, his voice clear as he answers.

"Little finch, I have fallen in love with you," he says, the words falling from his lips as if it were no big deal, and yet, he feels it weigh upon him like the heaviest burden.

"The thought of you… marrying Dan Feng hurts me greatly. It pains me that I cannot offer you my love and honor in place of his."

There is a slight pause before he continues.

"And yet, I will not interfere."

"Jing Yuan, I— How long have you felt like this?" You stuttered.

"It started as a childish crush," Jing Yuan answers promptly, not bothering to look up from the ground.

You have never seen him show this much emotion around you before. You didn't think he knew how.

"But as time went on, these feelings… this love has only ever grown stronger. I can't put it into words, Your Highness!"

He shakes his head slightly, ashamed of his emotions.

"I will always protect you, to care for you as your best friend, and yet…my love for you is too much to ignore."

"When I saw him touch you... when he took your hand and stared at you... when he winked at you," Jing Yuan takes a deep breath.

"It made my blood boil."

"I wish I could give you everything. I wish I could give you my heart."

This statement rings in your ears louder than anything else before.

It's an admission of love and an admission of how painful it is for him not to be your lover.

"A knight has no reason to fall in love with his Princess. It is a betrayal of everything I am. But I cannot deny it," his voice drops to almost a whisper, but the sheer amount of emotion behind them carries the words far.

"My divine princess, I love you." He whispered.

Your gaze shot up to look at him as those words escaped his mouth,

"You probably will not see me as anything more than your knight, but I cannot deny my feelings. I want you to be happy, and I will continue my duty, but... I wanted to confess my love for you before you married Dan Feng."

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Love.

The words burn in your ears as more and more emotion pours out of his words

He is not ashamed of his words. He does not hide his love from your eyes. He holds nothing back and tells you the truth.

Jing Yuan, your best friend loves you. He loves you so much.

And he will never be yours.

Your mind is spinning.

Does he think he has no chance with you? Or does he already know and is merely professing his love before it is too late?

"Jing Yuan." You let out a choked sob.

"I can't-"

Jing Yuan's heart breaks as you sob. He cannot help but place a hand on your shoulder.

The movement is gentle and careful, but you can feel his hand tremble slightly. His voice is soft, gentle even.

Pleading.

"My princess, you do not have to say anything. I just wanted… I just wanted to tell you how I felt before you married Dan Feng. That is all."

He looks down at the ground.

"I will not… I cannot be anything more, I know this. But I had to tell you…"

"…you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen…the most wonderful person I have ever met," Jing Yuan whispers.

"I will cherish my time as your knight, as your best friend, until you no longer need my protection."

He bows his head deeply, looking at the floor.

"Your happiness…is my happiness. For as long as you allow my services, I will offer them gladly. Even if you marry Dan Feng and have heirs, I will still guard you," The sliver-haired man says, his voice still filled with emotion.

"Jing Yuan…." You were devastated, you couldn't process this, everything was happening so fast.

He seems to brace himself for the worst— for an outcry from you, for a scream or a slap, anything negative.

But you simply take his hand.

You take your knight's hand without a word.

"I understand…" Jing Yuan says quietly.

"It was selfish of me to tell you this when it will only hurt you, but I do not regret my words. Your happiness is my mission… your joy is my joy, and your sorrows are my sorrows."

He is utterly loyal to you, and you alone.

"You should go, I need a moment to myself." You said quietly.

He stares at you… looking into your eyes. It's impossible for him to look away.

"As you wish," he whispers, releasing your hand.

He stands, turning to walk out—but he takes a second before he leaves.

"Please know that… regardless of how this marriage pans out," Jing Yuan's voice drops to a whisper, "I will always be here for you. Whenever you need me, a whisper of my name is enough."

With this, your knight leaves, allowing you to collect your thoughts.

He just hoped that you wouldn't hate him after this.

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[itstimetojellyfish]

They all leave .( I’ll come back)Jing Yuan x reader.

Some more angst , yall , I need to balance all the fluff and angst.

They all left you .

It all started with Baiheng , when she died in the abundance war , it left all of you , devastated. As soon as you heard the news you dropped to your knees and cried your heart out .

Baiheng was one of your closest friends , aside from Jingliu , you just had that special connection with her since you’ve been with her since birth .

You took much longer than anyone in the High Cloud Quintet to recover from , a few months passed and you were still recovering when the news hit you .

Dan Feng had just broken one of the rules just to revive Baiheng.

While you were grateful for the attempt , you were also disappointed in you and Dan Feng , you , for being so weak and useless , and Dan Feng for latching on too hard and breaking the rules and potentially being sentenced to death .

You didn’t think anyone else was working with him since everyone had a sense of self-preservation, but you forgot .

When it includes loved ones , people will do anything.

Once you were told that Yingxing , one of the most reasonable ones in the group , helped Dan Feng in the attempt of reviving Baiheng and ended up getting Mara-struck thanks to Dan Feng you were in shock.

Everyone was dying…

You were kicked out of your residence under the false assumption that you helped Dan Feng and Yingxing too .

You didn’t mind as you stayed in Jingliu’s house because she was one of your friends and if you stayed at Jing Yuan’s house, rumors would occur .

But you soon noticed a difference in her , she started to behave more aggressively and went out often , she even began to cover her eyes with a blindfold .

You didn’t suspect she was Mara-struck too .

Soon a battle occurred between Jing Yuan and Jingliu , Jing Yuan being the winner .

You were in despair , in such a short time , the life you’ve worked so hard to build , was torn apart in less than a hundredth of how much time it took to make it .

And then Jing Yuan was promoted to one of the Arbiter Generals and became the leader of the cloud knights , which meant he cut off all communications with you since he was so busy.

That was the straw that broke the camels back.

They left you all alone on the Luofu, hated and alone , with nothing to your name to at least prove you weren’t part of the plan to revive Baiheng.

You didn’t have anything to prove you were trustworthy.

Loyal

honest

kind

not even a single scrap .

Your belongings were burned in a fire .

You found yourself dumped in some unknown planet , cold and miserable without any proper protection from the planets harsh temperatures.

How useless were you? You couldn’t help Dan Feng and Yingxing with reviving Baiheng , you couldn’t help Jingliu , and you left Jing Yuan alone to cope with everything all by himself without anyone to comfort him.

How useless.

You had to hunt for your resources, the clothing you had gotten only a thin layer of cotton against the wind .

Worst of all , you had no knowledge about this planet . All the basic travel and survival guides you’ve ever read useless.

Berries? Could be poisonous .

The cave that you thought was empty? The den of some gigantic scorpion monster .

The fabric you made from a plant? The equivalent of poison ivy .

Oh? Some water from a lake that you saw animals drinking from? Poison to humans .

You gave up entirely .

Every single day was met with a new challenge, either your water supply ran out or a rockslide occurred and you had to climb over that and broke a bone in the process or your food rotted and you had to eat it anyways because you were starving and now you had indigestion and cramps .

Life sucked .

Then the day came , the day where everything that could go wrong , went wrong.

The second you woke up , you had a blistering headache and suffered from heat exhaustion so you felt like you couldn’t get up but you had to if you wanted to live .

The berries that you thought were safe , actually was a literal blood-sucking parasite that gave diseases .

The herbs you tried to get for treatment , were above a stalagmite, so when you fell due to exhaustion thanks to the heat , your upper body got pierced near the shoulder and you were in excruciating pain for the remainder of the day .

Then a rockslide occurred thanks to your fall and your ankle got trapped under the rock .

Underneath all that pain and loneliness, you caved into the sweet embrace of nothingness and lost consciousness.

The last thing you saw was black armored boots and someone kneeling down .

~~~~~~~~🪼

You awoke to being swathed in soft buttery linens as the bright morning sun shined through the translucent curtains and into your eyes .

You turned over only to have a searing pain go through you and tears begin to pour down your cheeks and you start to whimper .

Before the pain can get worse someone gently holds your mouth open and pours some water and medicine down your throat and coaxes you to swallow down the bitter medicine.

It takes a while for the medicine to finally kick in before you open your eyes and see a white fluffy looking head with honey yellow eyes look at you, worry evident in their eyes .

They gather up in their arms , taking care of not to disturb your wounds .It takes a while to put two and two together and then you realize who it is holding you with the same amount of tenderness a lover would to their partner.

It’s Jing Yuan.

You stare at him like a deer in headlights before he gently pulls you towards his chest and coddles you gently .

No words are needed

You begin to tear up as you cling to him and sob , your heart worn and tired from all those nights of staying in an unfamiliar place with no sense of safety.

Jing Yuan simply just pats your back and cries silent tears , he’s missed you quite terribly often.

After a whole 30 minutes of crying your eyes out , your tear ducts or dry and you begin to tire , your head to hazy since your body is using up all its energy to recuperate.

Soon enough , you fall asleep against his broad chest and lay there , encased in soft blankets .

Jing Yuan stares at you with adoration in his eyes as he praises your ability to survive in harsh circumstances. But that doesn’t soften the fact that the people he cared for , had thrown you out without his knowledge or permission for the past four years.

He makes a vow to you within the walls of his bedroom where no one can hear him .

“ No one,will ever hurt you again,my dear lioness.”

[mid-stars]

My love, mine all mine.

Old xianzhou x reader

Jingliu would always smile and praise you, as the youngest of the group you always were the one they paid attention to, even though they treat you like a kid they still loved you like you were a person

Baiheng would always give you the sweetest tea, while the others joined the gathering. You didn't mind as you were all friends here. They would all laugh and enjoy themselves, they would smile even though yingxing would tease you sometimes.

You smiled at the scene... It was perfect.. "[Name] let's take a picture! Come on!" Baiheng grabs you and gives you space so you can pose "for xianzhou!" Baiheng yells "for xianzhou!" As the picture was held in your hands you couldn't help but wonder whether or not if the moment stays.. Would it last forever?

A hand on your shoulder stopped your train of thoughts, you look back to see dan feng. "you look somber" he says as he crosses his arms and you look down as you caress the picture at hand "it's just... Would we be able to stay like this again?" You wouldn't want to lose anyone... As the picture almost crippled up he sighs and holds your wrist. "[Name], I know the war is coming near but do not fret.. Because I will follow you" he smiles "and that's a promise"

..

The war flashes upon your eyes, as you pull off the abundance off of you and run your way to the rest. The strings of fate washing over you, tightening your breath as you could only see bloodshed and tears, you saw baiheng in the arms of yukong.. "Baiheng!" You dan as the wind helped you move

The war was but a blinding light as the abundance almost took over. You ran back towards dan feng. As you pushed an enemy you heard a yell and...

He lied again.

"[Name]!"

"[Name.."

"[Na.."

....

I'm sorry...

Who are you?

[moineauz]

A ticket for The Brighter Side Of Spring

Dan Feng x gn!Reader (platonic if you may 🙏)

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ THE HOUSE OF MUSICA PRESENTS... 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐌 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐎𝐍 ノ𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 — dan feng !

synopsis: friends that lead back to each other, again and again in other words: you form an unlikely friendship

side comments: fun fact i've never written for dan feng before so please give me grace! I'm glad to get this out of my drafts hehe

extra: fluff & subtle angst, high cloud quintet is mentioned, gn reader, platonic word count: 1,860

The lives of long-life species possessed their own elusive nature. It humoured you how an adolescent could be your mother. Or how an adult remained blithe and buoyant despite taking as many breaths as your bygone ancestors who wandered distant stars.

You were similar to a weed dwelling between the crevices of the Xianzhou Lofu: an unassuming and unpretentious merchant who cracked dull rocks until its sheltered gemstones glistened in the Xianzhou's morning light. A lifestyle grown and bred into the tangled veins of your arm.

When streets cleared and day melted into the sober tunes of the night: you ran your hands on the walls of Xianzhou buildings and allowed yourself to hum or succumb to the dreaded sensations of stillness. Perhaps becoming a branch for birds to sit on briefly before departing anew, never lingering longer than they desire.

There was no loneliness like there's, no stillness too void or cramp. Hence, despite all your years of solitary travel, the toils of the universe never prepared you for the inner liberality of companionship and the ardour that washed against your bare feet: a tide that clings onto the shore. Sand tucked between your toes in remembrance.

You knew every corridor and tucked away street on the Xianzhou. You knew where the birds came to nurse their young in the spring. You knew where the cheapest tea house was, and you knew where the High Cloud Quintet enjoyed a glass together.

You have observed them. Learned their jokes and playful banter that emerged beneath each victorious battle and spar. You learned who speaks in silence and who blossoms when they wrap their fingers around the hilt of their sword.

Soon, you began to stifle your laughter when the wisps of their jokes reached your ears. Forever wondering who would ever win against Sword Champion Jingliu.

It became a subconscious habit to journey astray from your usual path to pay an unasked tribute to the spirited group of five. Their affable smiles drew tender circles around your heart and gave you the charm of luck. It was a foreign sensation and a craving to observe their lives out of naive curiosity.

If your life as a merchant was a display of various colours blended together, then the lives of the High Cloud Quintet were shape and form, a glowing spark atop the canvas of your indefinite indecision and vagueness. They were magnetic and undeniable, the focus or subject. They brought definition- meaning- to the strange painting of your mundane and quiet life.

It was a pause from the familiar: a fraction of time in which genuine excitement would wrestle with your spent soul and win every time. It was like watching a saga of friends- not soldiers or comrades- you believed would never depart.

There was a peculiar warmth in watching that.

It was one similarly dull afternoon that day; the clouds dancing in puffs and the occasional starskiff racing across the horizon, leaving trails of circular patterns in the sky. Business resumed and paused like a video; breathing and exhaling before grazing against the sky in limbo.

Various stones were on display that day, begging to remain on your stand a minute longer. Other trinkets seemed to accept their tedious fate; the cycle trudging onwards.

At that moment, under the gaze of an autumn breeze, you received a different customer.

Despite aimlessly gazing into the throng for half an hour, you did not notice his figure gliding towards your stand, or how the throng parted like a sea in his presence: similar to the myths you've overheard amongst fruit stands and scholars. You failed to notice the sway of his dignified sleeves and the slight ruffle of his collar against his placid skin. Even the distinct ornament- his earring- was another passing colour in the blurry field of many.

"Is there any item you would suggest?"

His voice is low and taut: the kind that orders the tides to turn and the rivers to bend. It startles you despite hearing it month after month, like a song whose lyrics brush against the walls of your mind. His expression is plain yet the streak of red found by the corners of his eyes creates an inexplicable contrast.

High Elder Dan Feng stood before your stand; washing over you like the fickle image of the moon on the water.

"Well..." you hesitated, searching for your words while attempting to recover from your initial daze, "If you're looking for something pleasing to the eyes then I suggest this." You gingerly lift a glimmering stone to light, its shifting hues bewitching.

Dan Feng nods as he does to the Sword Artisan- Yingxing- when indicating for him to continue. Yet, his expression displays indifference. Hence, your finger twitched and an inkling of irritation shoots through your body. Nevertheless, you bite the insides of your cheeks and maintain the facade: he was another customer amongst the thousands of others. His face and words will fade away with memory and time.

'Don't think of him any differently', you urged yourself.

"Not all treasures have to be that of stone," you muse, switching that mask of your voice into one of rehearsed enthusiasm, "This here is a unique construction of coral from various oceans across star systems," you bring the piece forward, "An abstract piece of art retaining the stories of thousands of seas."

Dan Feng's eyes trace over the ridges of the coral and the colour it illuminates. He seems interested- you note- ease gradually returning to your body.

No matter how often you bid the group of five a silent hello, you had only peeled the outer layers. Thus, the position and prowess they possessed still struck you down. Especially Dan Feng's.

It occurred to you- in all of your raw naiveness- that despite the laughter which rumbled alive in your chest and the genuine fondness you shared for the group, they were still living legends and you a mere merchant.

Dan Feng gazes up from the coral and back to you. "What would you purchase?

"Me?" you reply perplexed. You occasionally received that question. However, you learned customers inquired out of courtesy. The people of the Xianzhou Lofu possessed their own preferences, hence, your insights ultimately held no merit.

Your eyes scan over the various array of stones and jewels, art pieces and items whose sole purpose was to be vain. It has occurred to you to withhold an item. However, if a peculiar item ever spoke to you, then the likelihood of it speaking to another was higher.

Dan Feng crossed his arms; awaiting your response to which you possessed none. His gaze was condemning and acute, like a spotlight that now landed on you.

Dan Feng then spoke, "You're a wandering merchant, yes?"

You nod tentatively, observing him trace his fingers over the arch of a wooden bowl.

"Then surely, amongst all the sights and treasures you've seen, there must be at least one you find pleasing?"

At that moment, it struck you how right he was.

High Elder Dan Feng seldom spoke unless necessary. He bewildered you with the ambiguity of his gestures and the implicit tenderness found at the tip of his spear. Dan Feng resembled a bird: no loneliness like there's, no stillness too void or cramp.

You take in the crisp afternoon air; running your thumb over the crevices of your hand as the words fall out of your mouth like a cool stream, "You're right. There is... one item in particular."

Dan Feng watches you: your hands moving under the stand. "I've been quite selfish," he hears your remark, the item coming out into the light, "It's rather small but special."

Dan Feng raises an eyebrow at the peculiar item nestled into the palms of your hands. Yet, he merely nods.

Then he's gone.

Dan Feng never intended to visit your stand that day.

Or the following months afterwards.

It becomes habitual: like an instinct that can't shake or an itch that can't be satisfied.

It opposed his very nature- Jingliu and Jing Yuan now teased him at every given chance.

"Oh? I suppose High Elder Dan Feng can have friends."

Soon, Dan Feng's presence wove into the seams of the everyday. The merchant district and the other merchants themselves no longer gaped or whispered.

Dan Feng weaved through the crowds, his legs taking him farther than his heart could ever reach: an odd enigma, an acquaintance found in the eye of a shared storm.

"What brings you here today High Elder?" you ask, a smile dancing on the corners of your lips, "I'm afraid I have nothing new in stock."

"Same as last week?" he conceded, his arms crossed over his chest, "A shame."

You scoff, resting your elbows on the stand's smooth surface. "Really? You never buy anything even if I have new items."

"Perhaps something has caught my eye," he replies indifferently, his eyes aimlessly examining the items before him.

"Oh? Please tell."

Dan Feng sighs, shaking his head, weary admits the beaming sun and cloudless sky.

"The denizens of abundance again?"

Dan Feng remains silent, observing the furrow in your eyebrows and the lines of fatigue littering your face. He recalls where your smile ends and starts like the line of the horizon. He knows where the pensive frown on your face dips like the sea churning away.

"You know what? Let's go somewhere."

"Pardon me?"

You chuckle, "You heard me, let go somewhere else." You promptly pack your stand, "We can go somewhere more... quiet."

Dan Feng's heart drops, he reaches for your hand, but, quickly retracts it. "Why?" he asks abruptly, the word escaping him.

"Why?" you remark bewildered.

Silence fills the gap between his words and yours. A lump forms in the back of your throat, weighing you down- reminiscent of times before.

"Well," you being pensive, eyes fixed onto the birds in the distance before focusing on Dan Feng, "That's what friends are for."

You were similar to a weed dwelling between the crevices of the Xianzhou Lofu: an unassuming and unpretentious merchant who opened your apartment door- bewildered and evidently dazed from a night's sleep- to a small box found at your doorstep. The box's shine is subtle and wise while it carries the scent of the sea: a promise unearthed from the rubble.

You crouch down, turning your head left and right before gingerly placing the small box in your hands. Careful not to disturb its tender tranquillity.

Gradually, you lift the lid as the Xianshou's rising sun pressed against its warmth against the cool surface of your cheek: humble like a prayer, bidding you a silent 'good morning'.

Your eyes widen as the object gazes at you, its surface smooth and velvet.

Then you see a note and a bag of Strale:

Don't give it back or sell it. I did buy it from you after all. Thus, it is yours now, you're not selfish for wanting your own treasures.

That's what friends are for.

— Dan Feng, your friend

You tuck the small wooden bird into your pocket, the letter firmly pressed against your beating heart.

masterlist.

[greyrain23]

The woman laid in his arms, her eyes blinded from the attacks in battle. She bled out from the sword embedded into her stomach, but it had been so long that she couldn't feel the pain anymore. He had long since ordered his soldiers to find the medic back at camp, but it was taking too long.

The light, slow, gentle snowfall had been ongoing since the night before, covering the ground in a thin layer of white that was now dyed red all around the two of them. Her sightless eyes gazed up at the snow-filled clouds, a few snowflakes landing gently on her face and melting faster than she could tell.

He promised her that he'd keep her safe.. that he'd protect her, but he couldn't make to her in time.. he was on the other side of the battlefield, but the moment he saw the enemy raise their sword against her, he shoved away the one he was fighting and ran. He ran as fast as he could but he wasn't fast enough.

Now the enemy was gone, leaving a battlefield littered with different bodies of both his team and the opposing, but they didn't even cross his mind when she was bleeding out in his arms. He couldn't even do anything besides press his already blood covered hands against her wound.

She called out his name, her voice holding a small tremor. He immediately looked over at her blood-stained face that was still so beautiful, even with the cuts and show of war..

"It's quiet.."

so was her voice.. he had to lean over to hear her better. He slowly lifted his hands away from her wound when he realized that she wouldn't make it out of this place..

"..Is the snow pretty..?"

he pressed his lips together as he held back tears.. she always loved the snow, but she couldn't even see it once more before she passed. Without even raising his gaze from her face, he spoke gently. His voice was always gentle when he spoke to her, such a difference compared to when he ordered around his other soldiers.

"..mm.. it's breathtaking.. it always is.."

She gave a small, serene smile. She knew he didn't look, and she also knew the hidden meaning behind his words.. he took her hand in his, giving a gentle squeeze, which she was too weak to return.

"I'm glad.. I've always liked the snow"

..'I know'. He let out a shaking, pained breath as he watched her let her eyes fall closed before she whispered one last time.

"I hope you see me when it snows.. I'll be there.."

As he watched her, he could only give a small nod even though she wouldn't see it. The tears finally fell from his eyes when he could no longer see the small cloud her warm breath created against the cold air. He leaned over and pressed his forehead against hers, letting out quiet sobs as he hugged her limp body against his chest.

[ninothebirb]

WE WERE ONCE ONE

A Jing Yuan x Gn! Reader love story, where the reader's past lover, Dan Feng has no memory of them...and they spend their life caring for Bailu and obsessing over their lost love...

Prologue: There is no forever

Content Warning: Angst, Graphic depiction of violence( a lil bit), hurt, gn reader, mental trauma

You watched in horror as a few drops of blood, and a tuft of light blue hair fell on the ground from the vortex of raw power. The battle of Shuhu was then over, leaving you, Jing Yuan, Jing Liu, Dan Feng, and most of all Yingxing left in a void of endless despair. From that day, it all went downhill.

Your once affectionate lover, had gotten cold and lost in his own world. He stole the power of abundance- only to commit the most unfathomable and reckless sin in history- bringing Baiheng back to life. Ying Xing was stubborn, and willing to help- only to be mara struck and abandon all reason for living.

The love of your life, had been sent to the shackling prison, being forced to undergo molting rebirth and eternal banishment. Jing Yuan kept you suppressed reluctantly, as you cried, screamed and thrashed.

Jing liu, who had introduced you to the high cloud quintet, and treated you and Jing Yuan like her own children- had too succumbed to Mara, slaughtering everyone that came in sight.

But you discovered a tiny miracle, a newly born vidhyadara named Bailu had been born. You vowed to care for her your entire life- providing her with utmost love, in memory of Dan Feng and Bai Heng. She was now your priority- and you would make sure that no harm would ever come her way.

[https-xaio]

Ephemeral (DH x F. Reader)

a/n: my first blog! I love dan heng sm! little present for my big sis: @accenturine !! 💗✨

cw: angst, unrequited love? f. reader, she/her pronouns.

His azure blue eyes glittered like the shallow waters in Scalegorge Waterscape, his raven locks brushed up against his soft silken skin. Slowly she brushed her fingers tenderly through his roughened up hair, "You should really take care of yourself more..." She mumbles softly, his figure hunched over as he exhaled - rubbing his temples. The bags under his eyes become more prominent, a reminder that his health was dwindling as days go by. "I worry about you...." Her words fluttered through the air, her voice unlocked his hearts symphony. Soft as silk fingers tenderly stroked his gaunt cheeks, no matter what she was the anchor that would ground him... however the anchor would chain them down the path of destruction.

Years had passed like the yellowing pages of a bittersweet romance novel, spring to summer -; autumn to winter, with colours they paint everyone anew except for her.... Like an abandoned canvas, an artisan's scorned work - paint flaking off, as those once warm emotions dried up leaving a crude shell of a main character chipped away to a mere caricature of a monster.

And she was the vessel of that very monster scorned by society. "G-General....is that?" Her voice laced with the poison of loneliness tainted in each syllable, that dripped from her twisted lips, her heart mangled by the memories of the past. His warm eyes connected with hers, in a feeble, fleeting attempt to provide any shrewd solace. Alas there was none. Tears cascade down her cheeks, as he looked her Once stood her beloved now there was nothing but a mirage of decite that lay in front of her. He swallowed thickly, his eyes bore no emotion, only an uncomfortable weight in the air which crushed everything she had left, "I'm not him."

[angstflowsthroughmyveins]

AYYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAY

STARS FADING BUT I LINGER ON, DEAR

PAIRING. dan heng x gn!reader; dan feng x gn!reader

CONTENT WARNINGS. torture and imprisonment but nothing graphic or in detail!! 

WORD COUNT. 5,332

SUMMARY. dan heng has been having dreams about you. they started off good—like a fairytale even. but soon he’s been getting the feeling something is wrong. you’re trapped and alone and can’t escape. dan heng wonders if his dreams are telling him something. and if they are…what is there for him to do?

SOF’S NOTE. *shoves this fic in everyone’s face* LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT MY BABY!! PLS LOVE IT AND TREASURE IT!!! CRADLE IT GENTLE IN UR HANDS!!!! okay on a more serious note ahdjkdkd thank u anon for this amazing request i absolutely adored writing this 🥺🫶 idk where all the flower symbolism and dreams came from bc ik its not the in req but yk what it spoke to me for this story so i rolled w it HDJSKD i hope y’all enjoy!! :> 

“What are all those flowers for?” you giggled, watching as Dan Feng entered the room with a cart full of peonies in tow. 

It looked a little ridiculous; the elegant and renowned Imbibitor Lunae wheeling around an absurd amount of white, pink, and red flowers. But Dan Feng never cared about pretenses when he was with you. He always felt comfortable enough to be himself, no matter how ridiculous it appeared. 

As he approached, he held a small, blooming red peony out between his fingertips. “They’re for you, naturally.”

He brushed your hair aside and gently tucked the stem of the flower behind your ear, admiring how the deep red of the flower complimented your complexion. 

“Beautiful.”

You looked down at your feet with a small chuckle before meeting his gaze again. “Thank you. You’re beautiful as well.”

“Thank you, my love,” said Dan Feng, his hand resting on your waist as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “Do you like the flowers?”

You nodded, feeling the soft petals of the flower in your hair between your fingers as you stared at the bundles of peonies in the cart he brought in. Dan Feng walked over when he saw you staring and led you to each section of colors. 

“These are pink—to show my affection for you.” He picked a flower and kissed the petals before bringing it to your mouth to reciprocate. You obliged with a giggle and he smiled and hid the scandalous flower in his sleeves. “These are white peonies, to let you know I’m always thinking of you.”

You placed your hand on his chest, feeling the careful embroidery on the silken fabrics. “You’re always on my mind, too.”

“Good,” he jested. “As I should be.”

Without warning, he brought your body flush against his chest and captured your mouth with his own, softly tugging at your lower lip. You chased after his touch to give him a kiss of your own, but he soon pulled away with a teasing grin on his face. 

You pouted. “Hey!”

“Patience, beloved,” said Dan Feng. “I still haven’t gotten to the last color.”

“Oh, my sincere apologies,” you said sarcastically, knowing he was the very reason he hadn’t finished his own speech. “Please, carry on.”

“Since you asked nicely.” He cupped your face and stroked the petals on the flower behind your ear. The sensation of his light fingers brushing against the soft flower petals tickled the skin around your ear and you felt your breath catch in your throat. “This flower is a red peony, to symbolize just how passionate I am for you.” Dan Heng stared into your eyes before he spoke. “I hope you know how much I love you, truly.”

“I know,” you said, gaze not once meeting his. Your stomach tightened and your heart started beating faster as you placed his warm hand on your chest. “I love you, Dan Feng. Every part of my being is yours.” 

“And mine, yours.”

Dan Feng took your hand in his, leading you into your bed chambers. You had never felt more loved and wanted than in this moment. But when you entered the room and looked up, the hand you were holding was no longer Dan Feng’s. 

Instead, your hand was clutching an iron bar instead of your lover’s hand, shackled in chains on your wrists and ankles. Dan Feng was gone and you were stuck in here for eternity. 

You cried out, body racking with helpless sobs. Every fiber of your being—mind, body, spirit—missed him so much. The worst part wasn’t the torture, the solitary confinement, the lack of access to basic human needs. 

No, that was nothing. 

Nothing compared to knowing you would never see Dan Feng again. 

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

Dan Heng woke with a start, hair plastered to us forehead with sweat. His pillow and blanket were both strewn across the floor of the Archives and he found himself on his bed alone, a heavy pounding coming from the place where his heart should be. His heart hurt so much he wondered if it was even his. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to take a deep breath to calm himself down.

That was the third time this week Dan Heng had a dream like that. 

Before, it wasn’t terribly uncommon for him to dream about your experiences with his past reincarnation. Dan Heng thought it was strange at first— Why is he dreaming of your memories rather than Dan Feng’s? But the Archives had no answer, so he was forced to accept the fact with mild curiosity as he grew accustomed to the untraditional visions that manifested as dreams that he has been having. 

Still, the strange part wasn’t that he had dreams of you, the strange part was that recently, since the Astral Express left Luofu, Dan Heng has been getting bad dreams of you. Or, to be precise, he’s been experiencing bad memories you have gone through. 

Dan Heng thought the torture was the worst of it. As cold blades cut against your warm skin, Dan Heng felt each push. Each puncture. Each drop of blood they drew from your veins. He woke up constantly in pain, checking his own body to be sure it wasn’t happening to him. 

But he learned a new form of torture that came from the heart. The solitude and loneliness. The knowledge that the one you loved most has perished— Was forced to reincarnate and never see you again. 

The pain on his body was temporary. But Dan Heng felt the ache in your soul every minute of every day. 

He just doubted there was anything he could do to stop it. 

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Y/N,” came a quiet voice from outside the cell. “I came to check on you again.”

You looked up from your thin futon to meet Jing Yuan’s remorseful eyes. Your living conditions have been upgraded from those you’ve experienced for decades now. No longer were you in chains— You had access to a bath, and they even offered you books and enough food to sustain you. All while confined in a cell, of course. 

Perhaps they no longer viewed you as a threat. Not that they should have ever viewed you as such in the first place. You didn’t understand why you were punished solely for being Dan Feng’s lover. You weren’t a warrior. You didn’t hold any position of power. You were a scholar and lover of books and plants. But you’re an accomplice, the Preceptors said as they mercilessly chained you up. 

If you weren’t knocked into unconsciousness moments after, you would’ve spit at their faces as they took you away. 

“Y/N…” 

You snapped out of your thoughts, dragging your gaze to the man in front of your cell. Placing your book to the side, you smiled up at Jing Yuan. “Sorry about that. I was a little out of it there.”

Jing Yuan frowned and your heart moved, feeling the depth of his sadness. “No need to apologize. Tell me, how have you been?” 

“Good, I have to say,” you said, sitting up straight on your bed. “I’m almost finished with the book you gave me last time.” 

He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad.”

“Is something the matter?” you asked as you stood and walked over to him, offering a hand of comfort through the iron bars. 

Jing Yuan took it, giving you a gentle squeeze before dropped your hand. The rush of human contact, despite how brief it was, coursed through you. It’s been so long since you felt the touch of another person.

“Dan Heng and his friends left the Xianzhou Luofu,” he said solemnly. 

Your eyes shut as you let your forehead press against the cool metal of your cell. A tear fell down your cheek but a smile remained on your face. “That’s… That is good. He should be free from this place. Dan Heng is happiest that way, correct?”

“That is how it seems,” Jing Yuan sighed. He held back his words for a moment, hesitant. But as he looked at you, he could not longer keep it in. “Do you still think it was the right decision to not inform Dan Heng that you are here?” 

You let out a quiet laugh, taking a seat on the floor and Jing Yuan soon followed suit. “What would he do with that information? What if he felt guilty—? That could hold him back.”

“Are you certain that is a choice for you to make?”

Sighing, you shook your head. It wasn’t your choice to make; it was Dan Heng’s. You knew that deep down inside. But what could you do when you were aware of Dan Heng’s aversion to his past—to any potential connection to Dan Feng? And thus, any connection to you? 

You felt it, you dreamed about it. Dan Heng’s hatred for his past reincarnation. You mourned for them. Both Dan Feng and Dan Heng. For the former, you knew it must be hard having no connection to your reincarnation. Was his soul no longer tethered to this world? Perhaps he felt lost, even in the afterlife. For the latter, you did not blame any resentment that came from him. You knew all too well that being judged and punished based off the actions of another person was unjust. You wouldn’t wish it upon anybody. 

And so, it made sense to you that Dan Heng wanted to accept his past for what it was, and then be free from it. You did not want to interfere with that. Especially not when he was so close to healing and making a good, happy life for himself. 

And now, after Jing Yuan told you Dan Heng and his friends finished their adventures in the Xianzhou Luofu, excited to take on the rest of the galaxies, you thought that maybe you made the right choice. You would be happy enough here, alone in this prison, if you knew your beloved was free. 

It was a decision you made yourself, for Dan Heng. 

And it was one you hoped you wouldn’t regret. 

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Foolish! No!” Dan Heng thrashed in his sleep, wanting to reach out and shake you to your senses. He’s had terrible dream after terrible dream, but this was one he couldn’t simply let go of. 

This one seemed more recent than any of the others. That was not a dream of a distant memory from long ago— No, the Astral Express that Jing Yuan spoke of in Dan Heng’s dream had only departed Xianzhou Luofu a few days ago now. That meant you were there, locked up right under his nose, for the entirety of his stay at the Luofu. And no one told him a thing.

Dan Heng had to control his fury. He felt hurt and betrayed, despite not having a true, personal connection with you himself. He wasn’t Dan Feng and, deep down, he recognized he didn’t have a claim to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. But the pain he felt from knowing you were there, and that maybe, just maybe, he could’ve done something to help you sooner, was something Dan Heng couldn’t shake.

He knew what he had to do.

Perhaps it was bold, impulsive, and maybe dismissive of their current plans, but he had to do it. Dan Heng took a deep breath, not waiting for the night to turn into day. He was going to ask Pom-Pom to please turn this damn train around.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Where are they?” 

Much to no one’s surprise, Jing Yuan seemed to know exactly what Dan Heng was talking about. What else could be important enough for Dan Heng to barge into the Seat of Divine Foresight without a word of warning? 

Jing Yuan quickly excused the meeting he was holding, biding a quick apology and saying they would reconvene shortly. Despite the newfound privacy, he still didn’t reveal anything to Dan Heng.

“Well, good afternoon to you as well, Dan Heng—”

“Stop. There’s no time for formalities right now.” Dan Heng folded his arms, hands clutched into tight fists by his sides. “Where are the Preceptors keeping them? And why the hell haven’t you done anything to help Y/N?”

With a heavy sigh, Jing Yuan took a seat in his chair, gesturing Dan Heng to sit across from him. A gesture Dan Heng pointedly ignored. He wasn’t here to sit down and take his time. He wanted to know where you were now so he could get you out of there. The torture, the poor treatment, the punishment for something you didn’t do... It wasn’t fair. He could hardly put up with it in his dreams. He wondered how it was possible for you to even be surviving all this time. 

“It may surprise to you here,” Jing Yuan stated, voice low, “but as much influence I have over Xianzhou, the Preceptors unfortunately remain untouched by that.”

Dan Heng’s grip loosened, momentarily feeling guilty for assuming Jing Yuan did not try to help you in any way. From what his dreams could see, Jing Yuan was one of the only people who frequently visited you— Which was already more than he could say for himself. 

His face hardened but he relented. “I’m sorry for suggesting such a thing.”

Jing Yuan gave him a half-smile through hooded eyes. “If you hold any recollection of Dan Feng’s time with them, I don’t blame you for having such a severe reaction. Y/N was—is…remarkable.” 

“I shouldn’t know that myself,” said Dan Heng quietly. ��Yet somehow, I know you’re right.” 

He looked at the ground solemnly, suddenly frightened that he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help you after all. If the Cloud Knight General Jing Yuan couldn’t influence the Preceptors, what could he do? 

He shook the negative thoughts out of his head. Sure, Dan Heng wasn’t Jing Yuan, but he was the reincarnation of Dan Feng, the previous High Elder and Imbibitor Lunae. Dan Heng was the friend and ally of current High Elder Bailu. Dan Heng had the General backing him with a token of alliance. And Dan Heng would stop at nothing to free you from your shackles. 

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

The process was more painstaking than Dan Heng had originally thought. After informing Jing Yuan of his plan to speak to Bailu, Dan Heng soon realized that conversing with her would be the easiest part.

The Dragon Lady was kind and had a good heart. She cared for other people and didn’t want to see anyone in pain. The difficult part came from feeling the lack of respect the Preceptors had for her. They treated her as more of a child than a High Elder, even withholding her title of Imbibitor Lunae until they deemed she was “of age.” But Dan Heng thought she had more sense and knowledge than all of the Preceptors combined. 

It took negotiations, possible acts of coercion that broke many Vidyadhara laws, and even the threat of Dan Heng to follow in his past life’s footsteps and destroy the seal at Scalegorge Waterscape and many more places… But Dan Heng, along with the assistance and backing of Bailu and Jing Yuan, finally got the Preceptors to agree to release you without forcing a reincarnation. 

You had suffered decades for a crime you had no hand in committing. The Preceptors were simply scared your love for Dan Feng would influence you to be a main headpiece in carrying out the rebellion against the Xianzhou Luofu—hence why those in charge had originally agreed to keep you here. But Jing Yuan was the residing general now, and with his army at his side, he was able to voice that he no longer viewed imprisonment on this land to be befitting of you as a solid conclusion. Bailu stated, as a complete bluff that anyone could have seen right through, that if you were not released immediately and given the opportunity to be reconnected with Dan Heng, she would no longer be as willing to repair any seals, should they be harmed in the future. 

Somehow, instead of all three of them getting locked up for treason or whatever Vidyadhara laws they horribly crossed, they managed to succeed in their goal of winning your freedom. The Preceptors wrote in their official records the release date of prisoner Y/N and agreed to escort one of them to your cell.

Jing Yuan and Bailu, of course, both opted for Dan Heng to be the person who sees you first. But only after making him promise they would get to see you once you settled into your new life. 

Dan Heng smiled, thanking them for their part in this operation. And when night came, he spoke his vow to you under the endless stars.

He would see you soon. And this time, he would never let anything bad happen to you again. 

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“More peonies?” you asked with a laugh, staring in awe at the field of flowers that were newly planted on the grounds of your estate. The bright colors of the petals flushed against the dark green of the leaves lined the gardens of your grand quarters. 

Dan Feng nodded, the trimmings on his sleeves detailed with the faint embroidery of petals dancing around the wind. Your heart warmed when you saw it. It was fitting for him, such a beautiful and caring soul. 

“I had them planted for you,” he said, gesturing at the arrangement around you. He smiled, his eyes glinting. “Because one cartful just wasn’t enough.” 

You shook your head as you went around the rows of peonies, touching the petals in awe of the spring bloom in the air. The smell was sweet and the wind was cool, providing the right amount of breeze to offset the heat of the sun. First, you went to the patch of white peonies, then pink, then red. Then, you noticed a shade Dan Feng hadn’t given to you before.

“Yellow peonies?” you said curiously, Dan Feng following along as you explored the gardens fit for royalty. Because, he had said before, to him, you were.

“Indeed.” He plucked one from the bush, careful not to ruin the stem of the plant itself. Slowly, he brought it up against the light in the sky. “Yellow. As radiant as the sun.” 

You stared up, shading your eyes as to not get blinded by the brightness. “It shines almost as brightly as you.” 

Dan Feng made a noise of amusement at your words. “I should be the one saying that to you.” 

“Perhaps you should speak faster,” you teased. 

You walked over to him, placing your hand in his and leading him to a field of grass. When you got to an area you liked, you sat down on the floor, gesturing for him to follow suit. Dan Feng brushed at the fabric of his clothes once before happily obliging. As you sat there, you looked over at Dan Feng and studied the look of serenity on his face. His expression was calm, his eyes were soft and the corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly into a smile. In the hand that was not holding yours, he held the yellow peony still in hand.

“Does it symbolize anything? Like the others?” 

He nodded. “Yellow peonies are rare to come by. Only the most renowned of breeders can craft one to the perfect shade.”

At his words, you looked back at the abundant row of yellow peonies dressing your land. You wondered how much effort he went through in searching for the perfect shade to gift you.

“They’re to symbolize my wishes for you,” stated Dan Feng, toying with the edge of a petal with his thumb. “I wish to bestow upon you luck and prosperity, for the rest of your life.” 

“I think I’ve used all the luck I possibly could, finding someone like you,” you giggled, bumping your shoulder against his before leaning your head on it. Dan Feng breathed deeply, resting his head on top of yours. “And the only prosperity I wish for is to be prosperous in love. With you.” 

He laughed, a deep rumble vibrating against your body. “So, all your wishes of luck and prosperity have already come true? What need was there for me to gift you these flowers, then?”

You held your palm out, waiting for Dan Feng to place the yellow peony at its center. He gently laid it there, letting his fingers linger against your skin. 

“I’m glad you gifted me these,” you reassured him. “Now, when I walk by, they will always serve as a reminder of the radiant peony right in front of me.”

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

The next morning, Dan Heng entered the dark corridor with a flower tucked into a hidden pocket of his outer garments. 

While he was nervous about how you might react to him going against your wishes that you expressed to Jing Yuan, his determination to assure your freedom was more than enough to counteract that. If Dan Heng truly wanted to be freed of his past and atone for the wrongdoings of Dan Feng, he would need to make sure no one else was being punished for his actions. 

He had helped repair the Ambrosial Arbor’s seal at Scalegeorge Waterscape, to atone for Dan Feng’s acts against the current High Elder and all of the Luofu Vidyadhara. Now, he would release you from decades of unjust punishment you suffered simply for being associated with him. 

“Y/N, you have a visitor,” one of the Preceptors said dryly, unlocking a cell. The hooded man could hardly hide the look of distaste on his face a before he rolled his eyes and walked away. “I’m sure you two must have plenty to catch up on. Leave here quickly before we change our minds.”

Dan Heng peered into the entrance, his gaze meeting your confused and alarmed face in an instant. 

You looked between Dan Heng and the open cell, not a Preceptor in sight. “Is this a test?”

He shook his head, showing you the official pardon signed by Bailu, Jing Yuan, and a representative of the Preceptors. You held the document in your hands, reading its contents and feeling the seal to believe it’s legitimacy, before giving it back to him. He felt your hands tremble as you made brief contact with his and he was overcome with the urge to comfort you. 

“This isn’t a test,” he promised, looking into your eyes in hopes you would see the truth in them. “You really are free from here.”

You let out an amused noise of disbelief, shaking your head. “Oh, Dan Heng… What did you do?”

He startled at the sound of his name coming from your lips. He was so accustomed to you only repeating Dan Feng over and over in his dreams that this felt almost refreshing. 

“Rather, what did Jing Yuan do?” you corrected, laughing quietly as you stood up from your seated position. Your robes, once beautifully crafted, were worn and tattered. But the light in your eyes never waned. “I told him not to tell you.”

“He didn’t,” said Dan Heng. He considered his statement before adding, “I suppose eventually he did confirm it, but I was the one who confronted him about it.”

You raised a curious brow. “And how, pray tell, did you know about this…situation?”

“From my dreams.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. For once, you were speechless. 

“I know it’s more normal to have dreams about your past reincarnation,” he stated, neatly folding the document in his hands before sliding it away into his pocket. “But, while I occasionally had dreams of Dan Feng’s life—bad ones normally, might I add—it’s been more common to have dreams of you.”

With a slow and shaky breath, you shut your eyes to think. “You’d had dreams of Dan Feng’s memories of me, do you mean?”

He shook his head. “No. They’re dreams of your memories. Some included your moments with Dan Feng from long ago, yes. Others were you in this prison. A recent one was of Jing Yuan visiting you and in it you said not to tell me about this.”

You chuckled helplessly. “What good did that do, after all?”

“Why didn’t you want me to know? Why didn’t you want me to help you?”

“It wasn’t that!” you protested, your eyes telling stories your words could not keep up with. You sighed. “Okay, it was.”

Dan Heng let out a sharp breath.

“However, it’s not for the reasons you might be thinking,” you corrected, arms folded over your chest. “I’ve come to accept my life being imprisoned here. It’s given me a lot of time to think and reflect. And, similar to you, I’ve occasionally had dreams of you, Dan Heng.”

He tilted his head to the side. 

“They weren’t long nor were they frequent. But what I have gathered from them, scarce as they were, is you resent Dan Feng. You don’t want any ties to your past. And you’ve accomplished so much growth and closure, finally freeing yourself from all that burdened you. What good would it be to drag you back here and make you relive this?” 

“You sound ridiculous.” 

His words were harsh and it stopped you right in your tracks. You stared at him, eyes wide as they peered into his, but he couldn’t let that stop the words of logic from coming out of his mouth. 

“You’re not a saint nor are you a martyr. You don’t have to try to be one. You’re a person, and for that you should be free in your own right. You’re a Vidyadhara, trapped and punished for actions that were not your own. I understand what you’ve been through— I’ve been there, too.” Dan Heng held his hand out to you from outside your prison cell, waiting for you to walk out and accept it. “Furthermore, you are a kind and loving soul, and you don’t deserve to spend a single moment in this place. Please, accept my help.”

Your cheeks were wet as you nodded your head. Slowly, you placed your cold, shaky hand in his. He felt your cool skin against his warm one and he enveloped your hands gently, brushing your knuckles with his thumb to share the heat in his body. 

“I’ve wanted to get out of here so badly,” you admitted through silent tears. “I hated being confined and alone. I felt helpless. Pathetic.” He watched with a heavy heart as you wiped your own tears away. Could he reach out and do it for you instead? He chastised himself. As much as he wanted to, he had no right. “But you suffered so much in your past life—in this life even. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.”

Dan Heng shook his head. “What brings me the most pain is knowing you were suffering for so long, and I didn’t help you.”

“How could you help when you didn’t know?” you reasoned with a sad smile. “I’m sorry for making Jing Yuan promise to never let you know.”

His eyes squeezed shut as a sharp pang ran through his heart. “Please. Please promise me you won’t do something like that again. If you need me, I want to be there for you. Always.”

You gaze widened at his words before you recollected yourself. 

Dan Heng winced as he understood what he said. His mind and soul were confused. He knew he wasn’t Dan Feng, that this was the first moment he has ever had with you. But why does he feel like he’s known you forever? 

After a few moments of silence, as if you were giving him time to amend what he said, you finally spoke. “Okay. I promise.” 

He felt every muscle in his body relax at those words. He knew the promise you spoke was true to your heart. Dan Heng believed it with all his being and he let that console him. 

“Thank you,” he breathed. 

With one of your hands still in his, he slowly led you out of the corridor and up the stairs, away from your cold and dark prison. 

“What are you going to do now that you’re free?” Dan Heng asked, hating himself for hoping your future plans would somehow include keeping in touch with him. “Will you…stay on the Luofu?”

Your body tensed as a shiver went down your spine. You shook your head fervently as your expression twisted into one of grief. Dan Heng’s heart stirred at the sight. He knew that feeling all too well, and it pained him knowing you had similar conflicts to go through. “No, that’s the last thing I want to do. I won’t stay here. At least not now.”

“I understand.” 

You gave him a weak, but hopeful smile as he squeezed your hand softly. 

“And you?” you wondered, looking at him with thoughtful and eyes as you awaited his response. 

“I’m going to the Astral Express to continue on with our adventures,” he said with his lips upturned. “It’s a great place to call home, especially when you’ve lost the only place you had once called home.” He stared at you for a moment. “If you would like to join us—join me—I think you would very much enjoy it.” 

You teared up at his offer. “Can you really just invite people like that?”

Dan Heng briefly thought of the girl they picked us as an icicle and the boy who they found with no knowledge of the past. He considered your situation. “Yes, we really can.” 

The sunlight from outside finally started shining through the walkway, signaling that you were almost out as a freed person. 

“Also,” he said, before he could forget, “I, myself, would want you to come join our crew, even if it’s only for a little while. You can stay for as long as you want, and leave whenever you want as well.”

Your ears perked up at that. “I like the sound of that. If the Astral Express will have me, then I would love to join.” 

Dan Heng smiled as he patted the top of your head. Your body relaxed at his touch as you leaned into him, and he continued to hold onto you as you approached the exit. “No one will threaten your freedom ever again. That is my oath to you.”

You started at him, brows furrowed in determination. “And I vow the same to you. These new beginnings will bring only freedom and prosperity.”

At that word, Dan Heng suddenly remembered the small gift he brought for you. He blushed as he felt the soft petals of the peony in his large pocket. 

“I have something for you,” he said, slowly stopping in his tracks. He turned towards you and you followed suit, tilting your head to the side in question. “It’s nothing big. But it’s a token. A reminder.” 

He held out the peony in one hand, watching as your eyes lit up at the sight of it. Your mouth widened as you let out a noise of laughter, accepting his gift and holding it close to your chest. 

“Thank you, Dan Heng,” you said, tears of happiness filling your eyes. “I love it.”

It wasn’t yellow— He wasn’t the bright and radiant Dan Feng you knew and loved. It wasn’t red or pink, even. While he felt traces of love and attraction for you from his past memories, he knew in his heart that wasn’t really him developing those feelings for you. 

Instead, it was a white peony. 

You were always in his thoughts. It was both a blank slate, and a gentle reminder. He would never forget you, and as he got to experience life with you, who knew what dashes of color would be mixed in next with this pearly white. 

[generalsdiary]

Dan Heng masterlist

confessions under the moon ☾ Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae x reader (fluff, with some angst)

flowers... for me? ☾ Dan Heng x reader (fluff)

Dan Heng's diary - about Caelus ☾ Dan Heng x Caelus (fluff)

clouds leave no trace ☾ High Cloud Quintet lore/poetic analysis with Jing Yuan pov (fluff, angst)

drabbles:

☾ gifting your s/o flowers (it isn't the same writing as the one listed above)

[honeykaes]

futile cure

mara-struck!jing yuan x reader II 4.5k

warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no pronouns, heavy angst, multiple major character deaths, can be read as yandere, monsterfucking, handjob, blowjob, deep throating, creampie, rough sex, info might be wrong because i haven’t completed 2.4 story quest yet, unedited

synopsis: with jing yuan’s blessing, you left the xianzhou’s luofu to join the astral express crew and follow the trailblaze. one hundred years later, the newly appointed general, yanqing reached out to you in desperation. Your former boyfriend is now mara-stricken

The air around the Express was lively as folks chimed with champagne, laughter, and music. Another world was saved, and another Stellaron crisis was averted. 

You sat at a table with two others who had been on the Express for the longest time, Dan Heng, the incarnation of the once-feared Dan Feng, and the living Stellaron himself, Caelus.

The three of you were focused on the 3 young crew members that recently joined, bickering and teasing one another in the corner of the train car. The corner’s of Dan Heng’s lips curved up, admiring the young group. His olive eyes drifted down to his cup, swishing the liquid side to side in thought.

“Y’know they’re bickering the same way you and March used to,” Dan Heng murmured. Caelus chuckled, leaning his elbow against the table. He rested his hand against his cheek in amusement.

“Kinda weird, we're the old ones now. Does that make me Mr. Yang and you Miss Himeko?” Caelus joked. You rolled your eyes at his response.

“Yeah, you wish. You still act as goofy and immature as ever, Caelus,” you retorted. Dan Heng sighed, looking off at the group of young travelers again.

“...I miss them. Miss Himeko, Mr. Yang, March…” he trailed off. The three of you remained silent as music played out, along with whatever the other group was talking about. Seeing them so happy after completing their second mission brought nostalgia. It seemed just yesterday that you all were in their positions.

Your gaze softened, looking at Pom Pom reprimanding them for being too loud. 

”I do too. Sometimes I wish all lifeforms had the same lifespan.” you murmured, looking at your own reflection in your drink. Caelus' face momentarily lit up, as an idea popped into the eccentric's head.

“Y'know what. Why don’t we go back to one of the worlds we used to like old times! Penacony! Jarilo-IV! Oh! Even your hometowns in Xianzhou Alliance’s Luofu!” Caelus suggested. Your heart churned hearing him say the Luofu. It had been decades since the crisis there where you had left to join the Astral Express, leaving your former boyfriend behind with his blessing.

You could still remember his soft gaze and sad smile, holding his hand with your own:

“The heart of a gentleman cares not about his own selfish desires, but of all that it encompasses from his breadth of heart.”

You hadn’t seen Jing Yuan in ages. You had heard he had retired and his apprentice—now grown—took the mantle of his position but you were too busy saving a world to attend the ceremony.

”...Personally, I prefer not to. However, (Y/n), I think it might be beneficial for you. Catch up on your old friends and see him again might do you some good. Although we are trailblazers, some of us with homes can get homesick. These opportunities are rare,” Dan Heng suggested.

Caelus quickly grabbed his drink, shooting it back and slamming it back down to the table. 

”Exactly! So, are we in agreement to go to the Luofu?” Caelus murmured, nudging you. You opened your mouth to retort to the drunken human stellaron but your phone buzzed in your back pocket. Your elbow nudged his stomach as he groaned before you lifted your phone up to see the message.

Your eyes widened, lips parted seeing the message on your phone. It was from Yanqing. You hadn’t spoken to him in years.

As the general, he rarely reached out to you. Even prior to his promotion, you could tell he held some animosity towards you for choosing the path of the Trailblaze and leaving his master, Jing Yuan. 

You couldn’t blame the child, just bore his unapproving gaze with a sad smile.

”Please come to the Luofu when you can. It’s important and I need your help. Only you can help him.”

Your heart sank as your grip on your device tightened. Out of all scenarios, there was one you could think of that Yanqing would bite his pride and reach out to you. But part of you didn’t want to believe it. It would make it real.

”What are you so focused on all of a sudden?” Caelus murmured, looking over your shoulder before getting quiet. You pulled your phone back and placed it on the table. Caelus peered at you with sympathetic eyes as Dan Heng’s narrowed in confusion.

“(Y/n)?” he asked, confused about your sudden somber and worried expression. You get up from your seat, the joy of the celebration completely gone leaving nothing but fear, longing, regret, and worry.

”Pom Pom,” you called out. The group of young travelers looked at you, noticing the change of your tone.  The small conductor turned to you, leaning his head to the side in confusion.

“Yes, Mx (Y/n)?”

“Please set a course to head to the Xianzhou's Luofu.”

Docking at the Luofu ship you could feel your heart beating a mile per minute. You felt light-hearted, stomach churning from the amount of anxiety bubbling throughout your body. Yanqing would only reach out to you for something serious.

Had something happened to him? He seemed fine when you last visited, but that was decades ago…

”Jing Yuan…” you muttered, looking down on the ground. Dan Heng had convinced the group to stay on the Express for the time being. The boys you had known for so long knew you wanted to handle this alone. You’d have to thank him later.

Disembarking alone onto the ship, you could barely focus on the hustle and bustle of the square. Your pace was fast, gaze scanning and looking for someone familiar.

You finally focused on the tall young man with arms. His hair was long and tight in a low ponytail. When he opened his eyes, the familiar amber greeted you back. Your eyes softened as you approached him.

“Yanqing! you grew up. Oh! Wait, I guess I should call you General Yanqing now,” you chuckled awkwardly. Yanqing forced a smile, his brow furrowed from stress. You could see the bags under his eyes, from countless restless nights. Whatever this was, it was truly getting to the newly appointed general. 

“Yanqing, what’s wrong…” you asked. The Cloud Knights adjacent to him looked to the General as he sighed.

”Let’s speak in my office, away from noisy ears and gazes,” he replied. You were caught off guard, by how deep his voice was. He had changed so much that the young apprentice who used to always come to you about stories of Jing Yuan.

As the two of you reached his office, you noticed a woman sitting on his desk. Your eyes narrowed trying to pinpoint where you recognized her, before a small smile appeared on your face.

”Yunli? Is that you?” you asked. Her eyes lit up as she gave you a polite smile..

 “(Y/n), it’s nice to see you. I hope this blockhead hasn’t been too rude to you,” she replied. Yanqing grunted at her response.

”Not the time, Yunli!: he barked. She rolled her eyes, unamused at the blond.

”I don’t care!” she seethed. “The idiot is still prideful but I was hoping he, at least, bit his pride and contacted you.”

She strummed her hand along the wooden desk in irritation. You could see a silver band on her finger. Once again, it seems you missed a lot in your time Trailblazing. You turned to look at Yanqing once more.

“Yanqing, what’s going on?” you asked again. Yanqing massaged his brow, lips parting as he tried to find the right words.

”Master, he…” he struggled. “You know about Jingliu, his master, right?” 

Your eyebrow furrowed. You could recall his somber face as he told you stories about her. She was an accomplished warrior who was a part of the High Cloud Quintet. Dan Feng's sin led him to his next incarnation, Baiheng died, a newly immortal Yingxing became the barely quelled mara-stricken Stelleron Hunter Blade, and Jingliu got mara-struck as well and went mad…

Leaving Jing Yuan by himself. 

But it was not as though you could judge, you ended up leaving him too.

”Yes…”

”...Jing Yuan is mara-struck.”

Time seemed to pause as those words continued to ring out. Mara-struck? Mara-struck? Haha no. He couldn’t…could he really? This is what you feared when you got that message from Yanqing.

”What do you mean by that,” you whispered, struggling to process the information. Yanqing looked at Yunli and sighed.

“When Jing Yuan retired, it was because the mara was getting to him and affecting his cognitive abilities,” he responded. “To not cause panic with the public, I and a few others said he had retired before I was promoted as the new General.”

You balled your fists, nails digging into the flesh of your palms.

”...He had been suffering for that long and you didn’t tell me Yanqing!” you out. Yanqing tightened his jaw, Adam's Apple bobbing as he tried quelling his dry throat in shame.

“You were so busy going off and traveling! I didn’t think you cared or had the time to care!” he shouted back.

”You should have told me! I would have come back to the Luofu for him!” you barked back. Yanqing’s nostrils flared as he took a step forward.

”Yet you still left the Luofu despite Master!” he shouted back. The two of you stared each other down. Your chests were heaving, ready to yell, shout, and bicker; whatever insult and claims that came next but neither one retorted. Soon, the anger in both of your eyes subsided back into pain and shame. Both of your gazes shifted away.

”...Where is he” you whispered, eyes fluttering to stop any tears threatening to drip down.

”.Held in a secure solitary confinement. The knights I have patrolling that area have said he has been getting more aggressive. We don’t think we have much time before he tries to escape,” Yanqing admitted.

It was beginning to get harder to bat away the tears as you shook your head at the new information. You always thought you would greet Jing Yuan with that lazy smile of his again. Not…a monster, an abomination of Yaoshi’s. 

”.What do you want me to do then?” you asked. Yanqing paused as Yunli sighed and got up from her seat, walking next to him. 

”Those soldiers have heard him call your name at night. For some reason, your name has a soothing effect on him. Makes him…almost normal again. As normal as you can get being mara-struck, I guess,” Yunli revealed.

Her hands weaved with Yanqing who struggled to come up with words. Yunli clicked her tongue gazing at him before turning back to you.

”.Yanqing, thought it was best for you to come. As a last effort to try to quell the mara within him. If this doesn’t work, he will be forced to subdue his master to protect the Luofu and Xianzhou Alliance,” she murmured. Yanqing's eyes closed at Yunli’s blunt words. 

You looked down on the ground. 

Jing Yuan. Jing Yuan who always pulled you back in bed, lazily cuddling with you whenever it was time for you two to get up. Jing Yuan who would tease you with Tanghulu, stealing the last fruit without you realizing it. Jing Yuan who got you to hand the sparrows that seemingly always loved to land on him. 

Jing Yuan whose lips dragged across your ear, whispering how much he admired you.

Jing Yuan who was the first person to tell you they loved you.

“Mx (Y/n)?” Yunli called out. You snapped out of your thoughts, quickly wiping away the tears that managed to spill out.

“Yes! Sorry, Yunli. Continue…. “ you replied. Although Yunli’s mouth opened to respond the next words were not heard but Yanqing

”Will you go and see him, please…” Yanqing begged in a broken whisper. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes.

”Yes, but with stipulations…”

Out of the places of the Luofu, you had explored and aventured, this was the first place you had never gone.

The secret unit had over five levels of security clearance and four levels underground. There was specialized personal guarding the only entry point. You and Yanqing walked in silence until you finally reached the final floor, where there was a single cell.

In the corner, Jing Yuan curled himself into a ball on the bed. His hair was wild and unkempt, but pieces of glowing ginkgo leaves seemed to be growing from it.

Yaoshi’s curse was claiming another.

Yanqing looked at you, eyes worried.

”Are you sure about this…” he murmured. You try to give him an encouraging smile to subside his fears.

”I’m positive…” you murmured.

Yanqing silently nodded as he opened the door to the former general’s cell. Jing Yuan didn’t move or react. You walked into the cell before the door was shut behind you.

”12 hrs. Remember, no one is allowed in here until then. Okay?” you called out behind the iron bars. Yanqing hesitated but nodded.

“Knights, clear out this level and guard the one before it,” Yanqing yelled out. 

“Yes, General!” they all shouted in unison. The Cloud Knights in the area stood rigid and saluted before making their way up the stairs with him, leaving you and Jing Yuan alone.

You turned to him as he slowly uncurled himself, laying on his bed. His head had leaned against the concrete wall, a collar on his neck, wrist, and ankles. 

You had heard in some cases, Luofu technology for high-risk prisoners would include these mechanics to induce an electrical shock but knowing Jing Yuan and his extreme power, it probably didn’t work on him.

His eyes finally met yours, narrowed and calculative—not the lazily warm way he used to. The biggest shock was how red they were, like freshly spilled blood than the warm golden light of the sun they used to be.

“You, why do you seem familiar? Who are you,” he grunted. You forced yourself to smile, gaze softening.

“Jing Yuan. It’s me. I know it’s been awhile. My hair might’ve changed a bit, but it’s me…” you whispered. You reached your hand and placed it on his cheek. As he recoiled back about to plant a counter attack on you, you could see him pause. He cautiously leaned back into your touch, eyes gazing up in your searching.

”...(Y/n)? You stayed. You didn’t leave after all!” he murmured. You could feel your heart shattered, as he grinned, wrapping his arms around you. His head leaned into the nape of your neck. 

”I’m so happy you decided to stay after all. I didn’t want to be selfish and prevent your dream from seeing other worlds in an attempt to find a solution to Yaoshi’s curse…” he whispered, hugging you tighter. “But I wanted nothing more for you to just be by my side…”

He leaned away, eyes now an orange hue, mind, and body fighting against the mara in his system. He leaned away, grabbing your waist. His once usual lazy grin on his pale face.

”Marry me…”

”Jing Yuan...”

”Marry me…please. I’ll find you the best ring I can tomorrow, so forgive me for being so forward. I want to spend these centuries with you, and you being here in front of my eyes proves we are meant to be with each other,” he murmured.

You couldn’t stop yourself from breaking down in tears hearing his confession. You had left wanting to find a cure, to fight against an Aeon, to see Jing Yuan happy that no one else in Xianzhou would have to fear being mara-struck, but you found yourself here.

The one person you feared most getting it, without anything to show for your travels. How did you think you could compete against an Aeon? Perhaps this was Yaoshi’s personal punishment to you.

Jing Yuan sighed, getting up. His chapped lips kissed the salty stream of tears from your cheeks.

”Shhh, qīnàide. Why are you crying, my love? This should be a happy moment,” he cooed. You shook your head, lips quivering as you hiccuped and struggled to stammer words out.

”Jing Yuan, I love you too. Of course, I would marry you but…”

”No but’s. You said yes…” he teased. You placed your hands on his cheeks, pleading with him. You pressed your forehead against his, hoping your touch would ground him.

“Jing Yuan, I did end up leaving. I still haven’t found a cure for mara…for you, for everyone suffering on the Xianzhou. It’s been over 100 years since I left and joined the Astral Express.”

”I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Your blurry vision looked up to see Jing Yuan. His eyes were red again, but they gazed softly against yours. He brought his hand down, gently caressing your soft hair.

”I know. I’m sorry for being confused at first. I’m sorry you’re seeing me in this state, but I still meant what I said,” Jing Yuan sighed as he brought your crying form on his chest, lying beneath the uncomfortably small bed.

”...I’m not going to be able to stop this, am I?” you asked the now fluid Jing Yuan. He flashed a somber smile. 

“...No.”

“Yanqing…”

“I know…”

You paused not knowing what to say.

“...I do have a favor to ask you though. However long we have to be together…” he murmured 

“Marry me. Be mine for an hour, a day, anything. I’m just happy to have you in my arms once more.” he murmured. Lifting his hand to wipe more tears. His nails were sharpened and black.

”...Anything for you, Jing Yuan.”

His lips reached over and kissed you. Hand gliding up your sides as if to remember the feel of your skin beneath his touch. His large palms found a way beneath your shirt, guiding the fabric over your head and onto the ground. 

He grabbed a handful of your chest. Lips moving away from your lips and trailing on your jaw and neck. You could feel his teeth were sharper than before, the tip of his canines grazing the sensitive subtle areas of your neck.

Jing Yuan easily ripped through his thin shirt, revealing areas where the mara could be physically seen, botches of his skin beginning to blacken and glow in golden hue.

Your hands gently glide down his large pectorals and abdomen, resting at the waist of his loose pants. Your hand darted beneath his pants, feeling his heavy cock beginning to rise from your touch.

Jing Yuan’s whole body shuttered before letting a grunt out. You tightly gripped his length, pulling it in a rhythmic motion as his breaths got heavier and heavier. Precum budded at his tip, as his cock quivered from your jerks.

You shimmied his pants down, as his cock slapped against his abdomen. You leaned down, poking your tongue out to lick the slit of its head. Jing Yuan grunted, eyebrows furrowed. His nails buried in the thin mattress of the bed, desperately trying to control himself.

Kissing his tip, you opened your mouth engulfing his length to your mouth. Salty yet sweet precum was already leaking down to your tongue. His grip was getting tighter, as an almost unhuman growl came from him.

“F-Fuck, darling!” Jing Yuan choked out with his head hung back to the wall. He desperately tried to quell his desires, wanting nothing more than to pull your head all the way down till he felt the back of your warm, wet throat. 

You bobbled your head up and down, fingers drifting down your pants. Noticing this, Jing Yuan easily ripped the fabric—exposing your slit, drooling and waiting for him. As your tongue hit a prominent vein at the back of his cock, his body became more rigid— gingko beginning to glow more. 

His large fingers swiped a finger between your folds and let it nudge against your throbbing clit with every stroke. Feeling your slick dripping down your inner thighs and his finger, he pushed past your puffy folds and slid it inside your dripping pussy. You bit your lip, barely muffling a moan feeling him pump. His eyes lapped up every shiver and moan from your lips. Memories of the times he had claimed you coming back to him. 

He could feel your cunt fluttered down on his fingers drilling inside of you. 

He wanted more. 

He wanted to make up for these hundreds of years of not being beside you.

“...(Y/n)!!” Jing Yuan grunted. He let his desires finally get to him as his hand went down to your head, pushing you deeper against his cock surprising you, as you slightly choked. His hips slightly bucked, as you grabbed onto his thighs nostrils flaring to try and breathe.

His hips jolted as ropes of thick cum shot to the back of your throat. You tried swallowing, but it felt like a never-ending stream. Eventually, you lifted your head coughing as his essence streamed down your lips. His pace continued to be brutal, letting his thumb rub tight circles against your clit as your thighs squeezed together.

“That’s how I remember you. Come now, let me be reminded of that cute expression of yours,” he cooed. Your body shivered as your back arched, finally reaching your high with his name echoed from your lips. Jing Yuan smiled, sliding out of your pulsating cunt.

Jing Yuan repositions themselves, hovering on top of his still-hardened cock. It was still twitching as the veins wrapped around it throbbed in excitement.

Cock teased against your slit, nudging the top against your needy clit repeatedly as it burned in stimulation. 

Catching your breath and looking down, you noticed his cock was unusual. In the darkness, you couldn’t tell much difference but observing it now, you could. You recalled him being long, and thick, with a few moles decorated near the base. It had a gradient now, his pale skin turning into an obsidian hue. His veins were golden, with every pulsate the light would brighten and dim. 

“I finally get to have you again…” he whispered out almost in ecstasy, moving on top of you.

The head of his cock pressed into your entrance back and forth. Your body jolted as he slowly entered inside of you. You sucked a breath in, feeling him stretch you out wider and wider as he plunged deeper. 

Jing Yuan hummed,  letting his fingers swirl against your clit once more trying to distract you from the dull pain. A moan escaped your lips as he eventually bottomed out, tip hitting against your cervix.

Not even giving you time to get used to him, Jing Yuan began thrusting hard inside of you. Your hands gripped the sheets tightly, fingers digging into the cheap sheets. The bed squeaked and moaned, wood hitting against the concrete wall with the rapid pace he had set.

His lips connected with your neck, sucking and nibbling the skin. His canines, poke you every so often. A groan escaped Jing Yuan’s lips, addicted to the feeling of having your cunt squeeze him, trying to milk every drop from him. His balls smacked against your ass as your legs wrapped around his waist. 

Lost in the pleasure, Jing Yuan let one of his hands go from your hips, noting the crescent moons from his sharp nails already developing there before grabbing onto your chin. He was drinking up your expressions. The way your lips curled and shouted his name. The light sheen of sweat on your skin. The smell of your perfume mixed with sex in the air.

He drank up one hundred years' worth like a man starving.

“I love you…I love you…I love you...I love you…” he grunted. His groans were becoming more and more unnatural and inhumane, as you desperately clung onto him.  

Your velvety walls squeezed tight feeling the ridges of his cock rub against that mouth-watering spot inside of you. Your legs wrapped around his waist in a futile attempt for him to get even deeper. 

His cock twitched inside of you as he propelled his cock inside of you faster. With his continued ministrations on your clit, it wasn’t long until you reached your second climax wrapping your arms around him.

He snapped his eyes shut, hips flattering letting ropes of his thick cum shoot inside of it. He slowly thrust, pushing it deeper, trying to nurse his body down from his high. A trail of his essence managed to leak out, and travel to your inner thighs despite his cock still plugged inside of you.

You caught your breath as Jing Yuan’s gaze shifted to the side, seemingly colder before meeting yours once more and warming up again. You brushed your hand against his white hair clinging to his forehead.

“...Will you be leaving again soon? I’m sure you can’t stay in my cell forever. 12 hours right?” he asked, placing his palms on top of yours that were on his cheeks. You could feel his cock still pulsating inside of you, his lazily bucking into you every so often.

“...Yes, but then in 24 hours I’ll see you again. I’m staying, this time. I promise. I’m going to make you better and make up for all that time,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him. Jing Yuan merely stared at the wall, crimson mara-struck eyes narrowing before turning to you and smiling.

“As long as you remain in the Luofu, by my side, I will be happy…” he replied.

The world seemed almost grey, your mind as foggy as a cloud. You don’t know how long you have been crying for. You just knew your eyes were puffy and stung from how much you had. 

A few days after you saw him, Jing Yuan went to the point of no return. Many soldiers were lost in the chaos of it all. 

Despite your visits, and him acting…mostly normal with you. Whenever you would leave, you’d hear reports the next day on how aggressive he had gotten. It only took three days for him to try to escape.

Reports read that he was set on leaving with you, no matter what it took. Yelling how he had to make it to the Express to see you. Or how you were waiting for him in your old shared apartment together. How you had promised you would come back to him. 

Seeing you in the flesh and leaving again and again, even for short periods, left Jing Yuan’s mara-struck form desperate to get you back again and feel “normal”. His sanity finally had gone, leaving nothing but the mara to control your once beloved boyfriend.

Yanqing gave the last blow last night in a hard fought battle.

There wouldn’t be any more visits and the hope of finding a cure. He is gone, for good now.

Yunli had given you a key to his old place, insisting to get anything before the Cloud Knights removed everything.

Yet you found yourself curled into his old apartment and bed gazing at the unsent letters hidden in his desk drawer. Stacks of them for years. You could hear his voice telling you about his day, what he was working on, how Yanqing was improving, how he missed Jingliu

…How he missed you.

How he wished he actually proposed.

How he wished he started a family with you.

But most of all, how he wished to see you happy.

“It’s okay though. As much longing in my heart I have, I feel pride knowing you are saving other words and looking to help the Xianshou people. Whenever I look to the stars, I think of you. I love you. I wish I could see your smile right now.”