#dan ashcroft

[skeletaldarling]

dan ashcroft sleeping so peacefully to jones' fucking music is one of my favourite ever noel julian things they are the perfect double act

[slothb0i]

A collection Jones and Dan Ashcroft gifs! (Part One x)

A person I know asked if there are any Jones/Dan gifs, and since there are basically none, I took it upon myself to make some! (Along with a single of Nathan, cuz i thought it was funny.)

Enjoy! :D

[wronglennon]

i need him so bad. julian barratt as dan ashcroft

[laegolas]

what I imagine the Lions locker room looks like right now:

[marta-diablo]

Any small child catching sight of Noel Fielding of The Mighty Boosh in his clown gear would vow never to go to the circus again. Fielding’s torso is encased in a green felt globe, his hands protruding helplessly from the bottom. From beneath lurid make-up, he flashes a deeply unsettling grin, as if auditioning for the role of a psychopathic killer in Test Card: The Movie. “I’m just popping out for some coffee,” he deadpans. “Does anybody want anything?”

His Booshmate Julian Barratt, who currently looks like the victim of back-alley gender reassignment surgery, brushes his new blond tresses away from his face and sighs. “What a job, eh?”

When the duo decided to pose as the pair from the 1970s TV test card, it didn’t take long to decide who should play which part. If you want make-up and a manic grin, Fielding’s your man. He arrives at the studio resembling a time-travelling glam-rock star: pointy boots, snug red trousers, tight T-shirt, pendant shaped like a Flying Vee guitar, alarming bone structure. In one episode of their TV series, Barratt tells Fielding, “Look at you - feather cut, the pointy features. Put you in the 1950s, you’d be imprisoned for being a witch. They’d lock you in a trunk!” He’s probably right.

Barratt carries himself like someone trying to elude capture. It’s this wary unease that defined his performance as misanthropic style journalist Dan Ashcroft in Nathan Barley, Chris Morris’s Channel 4 comedy series. Morris wanted Dan to be someone who “wasn’t really comfortable in his skin”. I ask Barratt if Dan is a version of his own personality and he looks mildly wounded. “Not really, no. There were elements of me - it’s sometimes painful to be around people who are annoying - but Dan was a bit of a tit. I didn’t really like him.”

The Mighty Boosh have already completed two successful BBC series and are currently working on a third. Fielding, 33, thinks comedy is about allowing people to feel young again. “When you’re really laughing, you feel like a little kid and nothing matters. Everyone’s trying to feel as free as they were when they were kids.” Barratt, 38, seems to regard comedy’s inner workings as an imponderable mystery. “You still don’t know why you’re funny, do you?” Fielding says. “Not really,” Barratt sighs.

After almost a decade of working together, the pair are obviously close. When the camera’s not pointed in their direction, they huddle on the studio sofa in earnest conference punctuated by giggles. There is much to discuss: “We’ve got so many things we want to do and we need a basket to put them all in,” explains Barrett. “A structural basket.”

Fielding has a different metaphor. “We know when we’ve got enough ideas. If we haven’t and we try to write, it’s a bit weird. It’s like loading a gun and not having enough bullets.”

They first met in 1996, when Fielding went to see Barratt doing stand-up in High Wycombe. There had been less auspicious nights. Barratt recalls, “I ran off stage at my first gig. Halfway through it, I forgot my lines and didn’t know what to do, so I just ran out of the building down towards a lake. I was going to throw myself in, but the compere came out and said, 'No, it’s going well, come back and finish the gig!’ ”

The two share enthusiasms (Captain Beefheart, Monty Python, Mr Benn) and Barratt launched their collaboration by asking Fielding if he wanted to write the new Goodies. “We wanted to be a gang rather than a sketch troupe,” he says. From the start, their combination of absurdist wit, far-fetched narratives and bizarre musical interludes was the stuff of cult success. Audiences either entered their world and found them the funniest thing around, or they didn’t get them at all. “We used to have to convince people we were funny,” Barratt says, “and it didn’t always work.”

It did, however, work well enough to earn them nominations or awards at three consecutive Edinburgh festivals. A radio series followed and they finally made it to the nation’s TV screens in 2004. Earlier this year, they returned to touring. They get offers all the time, but having got this far on their own idiosyncratic terms, they have no desire to work according to anyone else’s.

“If Tim Burton called up and said, 'I’m making a film about two white Americans who go and become Red Indians’, I’m sure we’d jump at the chance,” Fielding says. “But if it’s, 'Do you want to be in this sitcom that’s a bit like Coupling?’ I’d rather shoot myself.”

When did you first find something really funny?

Noel Fielding: My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.

Who are your comedy inspirations?

Julian Barrett: I loved the Goodies’ sense of adventure.

NF: The Young Ones was the first thing I really liked. I was so young I didn’t really know what students were. I just thought they were some men who lived in a house.

What’s not funny?

JB: Cancer?

NF: It can be, though, can’t it?

JB: Yeah, sometimes a tumour will make me laugh.

When did you last laugh?

NF: I laugh all the time. I’m slightly simple. I went to a festival in Cambridge last weekend and there were men standing on a wheelchair and getting their friends to push them down a muddy hill and really hurting themselves. One of them had a fur coat, a dress underneath, massive boots and a witch’s hat. It was so stupid that everyone was laughing at them. It was quite freeing, actually.

What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you?

NF: Once I got stuck in a suit of armour. I had to be a knight in Al Murray’s show for two minutes. I had a gig afterwards and there was no one there backstage, so I couldn’t get out of it. I had to run next door and do the gig in a suit of armour. Al thought it was the best thing ever. “You should do that every night! It’s brilliant!” he said.

What’s the secret of comedy?

JB: The secret of comedy is don’t grow up. That’s why some comedians are a nightmare, because they never grow up.

Tell us a joke

NF: You stop hearing proper jokes when you’re a comedian. I’m always slightly disappointed by real jokes. There’s a lot of pressure to understand them and laugh at them. Occasionally we come up with a proper joke by accident and we almost apologise.

· The Mighty Boosh debut live DVD is released on November 13.

x

[unveilhq]

congratulations on your acceptance, spoop, dan, & rider ! please make sure you check the next steps here

charlie carver, homosexual, male + he/him→ isn’t that callum bane? i’ve seen them hanging out with the siphoners. i hear they're 28, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 2 years. they seem to be calm & knowledgeable, but also calculating & critical. it’s cool that they’re capable of chlorokinesis, healing and psychometry!

max carver, bi sexual, male + he/him → isn’t that mason bane? i’ve seen them hanging out with the witches. i hear they're 28, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 2 years. they seem to be charismatic & strong, but also stupid & devious. it’s cool that they’re capable of electrokinesis, teleportation, photokinesis, and smoke manipulation! 

brant daugherty, homosexual, male + he/him → isn’t that karter ashcroft? i’ve seen them hanging out with the half ghosts. i hear they’re 32, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 1 year. they seem to be athletic & playful, but also reckless & erratic.

david lee mcInnis, pansexual, cis male + he/him/his → isn’t that casey callahan? i’ve seen them hanging out with the dragonkin. i hear they’re 242, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 53 years. they seem to be caring & passionate, but also misanthropic & violent. it’s cool that they’re capable of pyrokinesis! 

boyd holbrook, homosexual, cis male + he/him/his → isn’t that wolfram wagner? i’ve seen them hanging out with the incubi. i hear they’re 376, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 1 month. they seem to be carefree & flexible, but also greedy & ruthless.

patrick wilson, gay, male + he/him → isn’t that aksel forsberg akeselric ogemseren? i’ve seen them hanging out with the merfolk. i hear they're 246 (but look 50), but they’ve only been in alexandria for 13 years. they seem to be inquisitive & approachable, but also indulgent & unrestrained.

charlie hunnam, gay, male + he/him → isn’t that rictor attano? i’ve seen them hanging out with the witches. i hear they're 39, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 7 months. they seem to be righteous & chivalrous, but also jaded & world-weary. it’s cool that they’re capable of technopathy, resurrection, photokinesis, and divination!

josh dallas, bisexual, he/him → isn’t that audric uvanov? i’ve seen them hanging out with the vampires. i hear they're 1492, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 34 years. they seem to be charming & decisive, but also manipulative & possessive. 

adam senn, pansexual, he/him → isn’t that wren bailey? i’ve seen them hanging out with the witches. i hear they're 35, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 5 years. they seem to be ambitious & empathetic, but also aggressive & cocky. it’s cool that they’re capable of astral projection, chlorokinesis, geokinesis, atmokinesis!

ricky whittle, "straight", male + he/him → isn’t that carston gillespie? i’ve seen them hanging out with the humans. i hear they're 43, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 3 years. they seem to be steadfast & flexible, but also hot-tempered & vindictive. they are not heightened!

matt barr, gay, male + he/him → isn’t that tyler bristol? i’ve seen them hanging out with the were-creatures. i hear they're 40, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 7 years. they seem to be loyal & attentive, but also territorial & dominating. it’s cool that their animal counterpart is a wolf!

[ulkaralakbarova]

Strange things begin to occurs as a tiny California coastal town prepares to commemorate its centenary. Inanimate objects spring eerily to life; Rev. Malone stumbles upon a dark secret about the town’s founding; radio announcer Stevie witnesses a mystical fire; and hitchhiker Elizabeth discovers the mutilated corpse of a fisherman. Then a mysterious iridescent fog descends upon the village, and more people start to die. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Stevie Wayne: Adrienne Barbeau Father Malone: Hal Holbrook Kathy Williams: Janet Leigh Nick Castle: Tom Atkins Elizabeth Solley: Jamie Lee Curtis Sandy Fadel: Nancy Kyes Andy: Ty Mitchell Mr. Machen: John Houseman Dick Baxter: James Canning Dan O’Bannon: Charles Cyphers Al Williams: John F. Goff Tommy Wallace: George Buck Flower Mrs. Kobritz: Regina Waldon Dockmaster: Jim Haynie Mel: Darrow Igus Bennett: John Carpenter Dr. Phibes: Darwin Joston Ashcroft: Fred Franklyn Grocery Clerk: John Strobel Ghost: Tommy Lee Wallace Ghost: Lee Socks Ghost: Ric Moreno Blake: Rob Bottin Blake (voice): Charles Nicklin Blonde Girl on Bleachers (uncredited): Debra Hill Film Crew: First Assistant Director: Larry J. Franco Director of Photography: Dean Cundey Producer: Debra Hill Original Music Composer: John Carpenter Producer: Barry Bernardi Executive Producer: Charles B. Bloch Producer: Pegi Brotman Editor: Charles Bornstein Production Design: Tommy Lee Wallace Art Direction: Craig Stearns Costume Design: Stephen Loomis Costume Design: Bill Whitten Sound Designer: William L. Stevenson Stunt Driver: James Winburn Production Accountant: Donald P. Borchers Assistant Art Director: Randy Moore Second Assistant Director: Jim Van Wyck Camera Operator: Raymond Stella Script Supervisor: Jeanne Rosenberg Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Richard Tyler Assistant Editor: Joe Woo Jr. Boom Operator: Joseph F. Brennan Makeup Effects: Rob Bottin Supervising Sound Editor: Gregg Barbanell Sound Effects Editor: Frank Serafine Makeup Artist: Erica Ueland Hairstylist: Tina Cassady Makeup Artist: Dante Palmiere Makeup Artist: Edward Ternes Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Bob Minkler Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Ray West Supervising Sound Editor: Ron Horwitz Special Effects: Richard Albain Jr. Gaffer: Mark Walthour Unit Publicist: Ed Pine Unit Publicist: Katy Sweet Sound Mixer: Craig Felburg Grip: David Michels Title Designer: Burke Mattsson Key Grip: Ben Haller Stunts: Mags Kavanaugh Movie Reviews: John Chard: 00:00: 21st April, 1980. The Fog is directed by John Carpenter who also co-writes the screenplay with Debra Hill. It stars Adrienne Barbeau, Tom Atkins, Janet Leigh, Hal Holbrook, Jamie Lee Curtis and Nancy Loomis. Carpenter also scores the music and cinematography is by Dean Cundey. The Californian fishing town of Antonio Bay is preparing to celebrate its 100 year anniversary. As the clock ticks past midnight strange events start to occur around the town, it seems that the town has a secret and that secret is back to make a point… Not as praised as Halloween and The Thing from John Carpenter’s early horror output, The Fog sees the director tackle the ghost story premise. For many who lapped it up back when the 80s began, it still enthrals and holds in its eerie vice like grip, for others in this desensitised age of gore and cgi overkill, it proves to be a film unable to justify the love poured on it by the fans. Which is a shame. Being able to appreciate the craft of John Carpenter back in 1980 certainly helps to avert some harsh criticisms thrown its way, because Carpenter has achieved, pound for pound, a better ghost story on a fraction of the budget afforded big Hollywood genre productions that have been made since. That’s not to say it’s perfect, for it’s not, Carpenter himself has never been wholly satisfied with the final film, this even after re-shooting a third of the film after originally making a picture reliant on suggestion over presence, but with some smoke machines, a synthesiser, a game cast and a spooky revenge story on the page, he’s made a sub-genre classic. Carpenter has so...

[cruel-nature-records]

MID-YEAR RELEASE REVIEW

We’re halfway through 2024 and we’ve already published 33 titles!

All can all be found at https://cruelnaturerecordings.bandcamp.com/

CN286 Charlie Butler “Wild Fictions”

CN287 Exsanguinated Roommate “Lurking”

CN288 Avi C. Engel “Too Many Souls”

CN289 Poppy H “Grave Era”

CN290 Orchard “Til You Fall Down”

CN291 Aidan Baker “Everything Is Like Always Until It Is Not”

CN292 Nnja Riot “Violet Fields”

CN293 HR Giger Counter “What Do The Atoms Hold For Us?”

CN294 The Last Sound “Veered”

CN295 Pound Land “Mugged”

CN296 MAbH “Orbit”

CN298 Kitchen Cynics / Margery Daw / Grey Malkin “Weeping Stones”

CN299 Gvantsa “Cruel Nature”

CN300 Filalete “For Family”

CN301 Belle Royals “Robustly Armenian”

CN302 Dragged Up “High On Ripple”

CN303 Poppy H “Confidence Of Crisis”

CN304 Lost Letters “The Lost Letters”

CN305 Plan Pony “Electric Swampland Home”

CN306 Empty House “Bluestone”

CN307 Tibshelf “In The Ellington Conception”

CN308 Dan McClennan “Thou Canst Turn Thy Organ While I Sing Of Woe”

CN310 Michal Gutman “Never Coming Home”

CN311 Todeskino “Black Patina”

CN312 Crushtrash x Nicholas Langley “Prosthetic Self”

CN313 Melondruie “A Storm Is Coming”

CN314 Score “Temporary Arrangement”

CN315 RYN “Archaic Techniques Of Ecstasy”

CN316 SCVLXR s/t

CN317 Pocket Dimension s/t

CN318 The Incidental Crack “No More Bangers”

CN319 Lee Ashcroft “Persons Underground”

CN320 MaBH “Wolves Windows & Curtains”

Massive thanks for the support!

[dankusner]

AI porn in Texas

One October morning last year, Anna McAdams’ 14-year-old daughter woke up to a flurry of text messages from her friends. Someone was sharing nude pictures of her around Aledo High School, they said.

McAdams said it was a 15-year-old male classmate who targeted her daughter and eight of her friends by grabbing photos from their Instagram pages, editing them into naked bodies and distributing them on Snapchat.

She said he made them using an app specifically designed for making nude images.

“All she can think about is, ‘what if I go to college and the school pulls these nude photos of me up? Or what if I go for a job and they see these?’” she said. “If you were to see these images, you would think they were child pornography.”

https://capitol.texas.gov/Committees/MeetingsByCmte.aspx?Leg=88&Chamber=S&CmteCode=C590

The Texas Senate Committee on Criminal Justice heard from McAdams, law enforcement, technology experts and child welfare advocates Thursday on how to best tackle the growing use of generative artificial intelligence and deepfake technology in creating child pornography.

It’s one of several interim charges Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick delegated to senators to tackle before next year’s legislative session.

The legislature passed at least three bills last session addressing the issue.

A key law was House Bill 2700, which expanded the definition of child pornography to include visual material that uses an actual child’s image to create pornography, including content created with artificial intelligence.

Law enforcement officials told senators despite the progress made with HB 2700 and other bills, the rapidly shifting nature of AI leaves areas for tighter regulation.

For instance, it can be hard to track down whether a real image of a person under 18 was used to feed an AI generator and create pornographic material, said Steven Stone, a technical captain with the Texas Department of Public Safety.

“If I take a picture of someone in this room, use an AI generator to regress them into an earlier age, and then subsequently feed those images into my AI generator and produce child pornography images from those, we've now created child pornography images from images that are not of real people,” he said.

The Senate Committee on Criminal Justice met on June 6, 2024 to discuss generative artificial intelligence and "deepfakes" in the production of child pornography.

The Senate Committee on Criminal Justice met on June 6, 2024 to discuss generative artificial intelligence and "deepfakes" in the production of child pornography.

Right now, it’s unclear whether these crimes share common elements that can be widely prosecuted with new laws.

Enacting new laws would also risk walking a constitutional tightrope.

In a 6-3 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 2002 it's unconstitutional for laws to ban all computer-generated content that isn't legally obscene and that appears to be — but isn’t actually — child pornography in the case Ashcroft v. Free Speech Coalition.

But some witnesses, including Tarrant County Assistant District Attorney Lori Varnell, expressed skepticism of that ruling — and believed it was outdated.

“That case created this idea that child pornography should only be illegal because the child in the image is being harmed, and because it creates a market to harm children and take pictures of it, it should be illegal,” Varnell said. “I'm here to suggest that that is not a sufficient protection for our children.”

Varnell recommended content-based regulation, and suggested bumping possession of child pornography up from a third to a second-degree felony based on more egregious depictions of sexual abuse.

The biggest concern, she said, is examining the ways even fake child pornography may turn into real-life abuse.

“Watching child pornography does not prevent child touching,” Varnell said.

Other experts outlined the ways companies who create or use AI applications can self-regulate.

Those include testing AI models to find any loopholes that allow sexually abusive material to slip under the radar or even using code that can easily flag child pornography so it can be taken down and reported.

Similar legislation is pending in Wisconsin and California that would punish child pornography crimes only if they're depictions derived from an image of a real child.

Those provisions could help ensure any new laws pass constitutional muster, said Carl Szabo, vice president and general counsel with the internet free speech group NetChoice.

"If it is completely fake, that unfortunately gets us into First Amendment issues," he said. "And I don't want to see bad actors get off the hook."

Szabo also suggested defining a deepfake under Texas law as anything that misrepresents or causes someone to believe it’s a real image to cover a wide range of content.

He and others were asked to draft proposed legislation Committee Vice Chair Phil King said lawmakers could take up as soon as the next legislative session.

“The way we kind of work off here is we've got to get things down from 50,000 feet, down to what we can do that's actually actionable,” King said.

[actuma]

'Kinderen geseksualiseerd in reclames: slecht signaal'

Het lijkt een groeiende trend te zijn: seksualisering van kinderen op verschillende manieren. Na de reclamecampagne van modemerk Balenciaga, waarin verschillende kinderen in beeld werden gebracht met teddyberen in SM-pakjes en seksspeeltjes, kwam onlangs het bericht van acteurs die al decennia last hebben van hun naaktscene als minderjarigen, in de film Romeo and Juliet, uit 1968. Hoewel er in de reclamecampagne niets strafbaars gebeurde, waren deze beelden op het randje. Dat vinden landelijk OvJ Linda van den Oever en parketsecretaris Selina Rahimbaks een zorgwekkende ontwikkeling. Naast seksspeeltjes werden de kinderen in deze reclame in beeld gebracht met een aantal documenten. “Een van deze documenten is een gerechtelijk document waarin wordt verwezen naar Ashcroft vs Free Speech Coalition, de rechtszaak die nepbeelden en video's van seksueel misbruik van kinderen legaal maakte in de Verenigde Staten”, zegt Linda. “Die uitspraak zorgde er in de VS kinderporno illegaal is, maar ‘nep’beelden wél verspreid mochten worden”. In de VS was er dan ook veel ophef over de Balenciaga-campagne. “ Het is gek dat er in Nederland zo weinig verontwaardiging over die campagne kwam”, zegt Selina. “In het buitenland en op internationale social media zag ik het overal, maar een sterke reactie bleef uit in Nederland”. En dat terwijl dit soort campagnes een slechte boodschap brengen, volgens Linda. “Vanuit onze opsporings- en vervolgingsinstelling geeft dit een erg slecht voorbeeld. Als je het normaal gaat vinden dat kinderen geseksualiseerd worden, is dat een eerste stap naar het misbruiken van minderjarigen. Het is zó onwenselijk! Het ging écht om kinderen, echt nog heel jong. Dit soort campagnes verheerlijken seksueel kindermisbruik.” Ontwikkeling Dat dit nu een redelijk op zichzelf staand voorbeeld is, neemt niet weg dat er een trend waarneembaar is. “Het versterkt elkaar: omdat het gaat om een modemerk, bepalen ze mede modetrends en de beeldvorming van en door kinderen. Als ze promoten dat kinderen zich op seksuele manieren kleden, neemt de samenleving dat over”, legt Selina uit. Het risico dat daarbij komt kijken, is dat zulke normalisering sneller leidt tot actievere vormen van misbruik. “We zijn ervan overtuigd dat hoe makkelijker bespreekbaar, en hoe meer algemeen geaccepteerd bepaalde beelden zijn, hoe sneller mensen afglijden”, zegt Linda. “Als je al bepaalde gedachten hebt en je ziet die bevestigd in de samenleving, groeit het risico dat je er ook naar handelt. Het stopt niet bij alleen blote kleding op een reclameposter.” Deze trend ontwikkelt zich, merken Linda en Selina bijvoorbeeld in het kinderpornografisch materiaal dat de laatste jaren wordt aangetroffen. “Het nieuwere materiaal is meestal gefilmd door kinderen zelf, omdat ze makkelijker toegang hebben tot TikTok of Instagram. Daar zien kinderen ook anderen die zich op een bepaalde manier gedragen of kleden, en ze willen er bij horen”, zegt Selina. Beelden zoals Balenciaga die maakte, vallen binnen de grenzen en zijn niet strafbaar, maar we moeten daar wel voor waken, denken Selina en Linda. Veranderende normen en ontwikkelende technologie zijn van alle tijden, maar uitgesproken seksualisering van kinderen? Daar moet niemand blij van worden. “Vroeger werd je gewaarschuwd voor de man in de bosjes”, zegt Linda, “maar nu haal je die met honderdduizend tegelijk binnen in de slaapkamer van je kind dat zonder toezicht TikTokfilmpjes opneemt. Weet waar je kind mee bezig is, kijk mee, en bespreek veilig internetgebruik en seksuele grenzen.” De drempel tot kindermisbruik wordt dus lager door meer seksualisering van kinderen. Daarom vindt Linda het vreemd dat dat dan tóch gebeurt: “Eigenlijk moet je het omdraaien. Iedereen is tegen kindermisbruik en reageert daar fel op, dan zou je dat ook bij seksualisering van kinderen moeten doen. Het is immers de eerste stap”. Bron: OM Read the full article

[tundrafloe]

In 2006, Julian and Noel talked to Sun Online about working with Chris Morris on Nathan Barley.

Julian: "I had great fun doing it. I played Dan Ashcroft who was a sort of sympathetic character while the others were out and out dicks. He was a bit of a dick as well but at least he was battling something." Noel (on Chris Morris): "He just opened it up to everyone and we all had our own ideas. He really laughed a lot at other people's ideas. A lot of comedians don't do that."

[embarrassingjon]

✨masterlist✨

Howdy fellas! I have stopped writing for Boosh but the links will stay up. I’ve got the fics split between the different shows or movies, and feel free to ask me anything

Mighty Boosh

Vince Noir’s Moonlight Cafe  Rated T (11,687 Words) Howard/Vince towards the end        Vince overhears his friends being blunt while talking about him and it hurts his feelings. After a bad gig he decides to prove them wrong with... a secret job... that he doesn't tell anyone about...? He's not the brightest bulb.

The Lion Sleeps Tonight  Rated G (1,462 Words)       Vince has some habits he can't quite shake from growing up surrounded by animals, but Howard can see how badly he wishes he didn't.

We’re Still Having Fun Rated M (15,090 Words) Howard/Vince       Vince and Howard through the years, starting from just before the Chokes. a slowburn songfic with soft smut at the end

Don’t Shut Me Down Rated M (3,964 Words) Howard/Vince       I'm fired up, I'm hot, don't shut me down. Howard and Vince have been away from one another for a long time.... longer than Vince ever expected. a reunion smut songfic

Surrealissimo

Mes Doigts de la main Noire Rated NC-17 (18,366 Words) Gui Rosey/Victor Bauer       Rosey decides to venture into a new hobby. Written from an anonymous post about drawing one another nude as a form of flirting, spiraled out of control.

Les Moyens d'Existence Rated M (1,441 Words) Gui Rosey/Victor Bauer       Victor finally gets to paint Rosey’s Body and he gives Rosey a reward for it.

Travaux Ménagers d'un Genre Différent Rated NC-17 (7,309 Words) Gui Rosey/Victor Bauer       Rosey and Bauer are trying to have sex in every room of Breton's house because he sucks. AKA 4 times Rosey and Bauer boned down in Breton's house + 1 time they didn't.

Un Portrait à Nos Couleurs Extrémes Rated NC-17 (44,722 Words) Gui Rosey/Victor Bauer, Victor Bauer/OFC, Gui Rosey/OFC, Gui Rosey/Victor Bauer/OFC       Gui Rosey sees a rainbow of color on his extended vacation to Vienna with Victor Bauer.

Je Veux Vior Rated NC-17 (2,690 Words) Victor Bauer/OFC       Victor and Maria’s first time together (A oneshot tied to Un Portrait à Nos Couleurs Extrémes)

Démêlé Rated NC-17 (7,796 Words) Victor Bauer/OFC, Gui Rosey/OFC      Victor has an idea for Maria's birthday while Rosey is out of town.      Maria has an idea for Rosey while Victor is in town (Another one twoshot tied to Un Portrait à Nos Couleurs Extrémes)

Parisian Rose

Rated M (3,308 Words) Victor Bauer/OFC Victor Bauer/Gui Rosey

Victor Bauer Has Lived A Full Life. We have reached the year 1959. Victor Bauer is dying, and he knows it.

Nathan Barley

Metaphysical Gravity Rated M (139,985 Words) Dan/Jones       We follow Dan and Jones for a year after the worst summer of their lives. For better or worse, richer and poorer, I really put these dweebs to their limits.

Mint Royale

Take the Money and Run Rated E (2,185 Words) “The Kid”/”The Bank Robber”       Samuel and Liam are criminals in love. Classic Bonnie and Clyde.... except no murdering, that's not very nice. UNFINISHED

Kinktober

            1. Images en Miroir - Surrealissimo - Rosey/Bauer

            2. Eager - Sweet (2000) - Pete Sweet/Stitch

            3. Confession - Garth Margenghi’s Darkplace - The Padre/The Scientist

            4. Just Breathe - Garth Margenghi’s Darkplace - The Padre/The Scientist

            5. Urgency - Garth Margenghi’s Darkplace - The Padre/The Scientist

            6. 3:56am - Mint Royale Blue Song Music Video- The Kid/Bank Robber

            7. Masquerade - Nathan Barley - Dan/Jones

            8. Talk Culty To Me - Set The Thames on Fire//Truth Seekers - Dickie/Toynbee

            9. What Pete Wants - Sweet (2000) - Pete Sweet/Stitch

          10. Giving In To Temptation - Garth Margenghi’s Darkplace - The Padre/The Scientist

          11. Montre Moi Ton Amour - Surrealissimo - Rosey/Bauer

          12. Date Night - Sweet (2000) - Pete Sweet/Stitch

          13. Le Dernier Acte de Dévotion - Surrealissimo -Rosey/Bauer

          14. Gloutonne - Surrealissimo - Rosey/Bauer/Original Female Character

✨ S E R I E S ✨

Party Boys Mighty Boosh- 9 Parts- Howard/Vince

Vince and Howard through the years, drinking/doing drugs/generally getting messed up in one way or another EDITORS NOTE: I have them listed in order of when they were written, they were written out of order. If you would prefer to read them in order (or really any order you want), then you can click here and see them front to back <3 

1. You’ll Be In My Heart Rated T (1,044 Words)         Vince and Howard wake up after a wild night in to see things have changed. 2. In The Air Tonight Rated M (2,576 Words)           Vince and Howard celebrate Howard's recent death the only way they know how: Getting drunk and giving eulogies.

3. Jesus, He Knows Me Rated T (2,073 Words)       Howard’s birthday is a travesty. Vince decides to come clean, at least to make Howard feel a little better

4. Do You Remember? Rated M (2,248 Words      Vince and Howard get drunk and the beans are spilled

5. One More Night Rated NC-17 (1,712 Words)            One night at Uni Howard drinks a bit too much, and Vince gets more than he bargained for. Mega dubcon here fellas, be careful with this one

6. I Don’t Care Anymore Rated NC-17 (2,005 Words)       Howard and Vince finally go over everything.

7. Come With Me Rated M (17,007 Words)            Howard and Vince went traveling on their gap year! This is just one of their journeys

8. Big Shot Rated T (1,895 Words)        Howard is mad at Vince because of how he behaved the night before when he was partying (aka why Howard doesn’t go out with Vince anymore)

9. Just Another Story Rated M (2,115 Words)       It's Vince and Howard's Anniversary and they spend a lazy morning in.

Dadfic Stuff Mighty Boosh- 3 Parts- Howard/Vince

Howard and Vince face the struggles of being parents. Various little tales, and familial struggles that come with having your own little pod. EDITORS NOTE: These are FINISHED AS OF 12/12/22

Sweet Child Of Mine Rated T (76,361 Words)        Vince and Howard have been together for a long time. Long enough to have three kids and a house and a booming career. Literally this is just days in the lives of these two people with their kiddos. Loosely connected silly tales

Party For Two Rated NC-17 (8,200 Words)        Howard and Vince’s alone time. Its basically smut written for the way I write them in the dadfic stuff. There are references to plot points from the main fic, but generally this is because Vince and Howard deserve to bone after the strife I give them.

Moonlight Magic Rated T (3,939 Words)        A probably out of character take on if Naboo needed help babysitting and he called on help from an alternate Universe. Is it canon to the others? Is it not? That's up to you, it's completely inconsequential. This is a crossover oneshot with Set The Thames On Fire because Dickie is a fascinating bird and I love him very much

It’s Oh So Quiet Nathan Barley- 4 Parts- Dan/Jones

The Sound Of Silence Rated T (4,520 Words)        Jones' lifestyle was BOUND to mess him up in some way.

Happy Together Rated NC-17 (1,476 Words)        Jones had never known Dan to care about someone other than himself. This is just soft smut following 'The Sound of Silence' featuring Dan being ever so patient with Jones' hearing loss

I Feel the Earth Move Rated T (2,392 Words)        Jones gets new ears, Dan gets…. To jump out a window I guess

Stuck In the Middle With You Rated NC-17 (2,107 Words)        Dan is home but there are new obstacles to conquer when it comes to intimacy... in more ways than one

Final Word Count as of 2/15/23:

414,096

[trilobel]

Dan and Jones (because there is too little Dan and Jones stuff in the world) Soo today at ao3 I read Cloud Nine by the amazingly talented @kdqt314 (and it was so SOO HOT OMG 🔥🔥🔥) and felt inspired. I hope you don't mind that I stole your beautiful sentence. 👀❤️

[derryqueenx]

As the tags say: do I know why I wrote this? Nope. But i did write it, so here you go. 😅

[niceyniceyzoozoo]

Claire thought Jones would be a loud crier.

He’s so fucking loud in all other aspects of his life, it makes sense that he would scream, and sob. That he’d take shuddering, heaving breaths and kick his feet like a toddler.

So she didn’t really know how to react to him curled up as small as possible, his face in his knees. The only tell of what he was feeling the slight shake in his shoulders.

He was wearing a thick jumper, the sleeves covering his hands where his arms were wrapped around his legs.

“Um, Jones?”

And when he looked up Claire felt her heart shatter into pieces inside of her.

The silent emotion was so much worse than the loudness she had pictured.

Because the look on Jones’s face, his day-old makeup smeared down his cheeks, his hair both flat and messy, as though he had been tugging and tearing at it.

But the look on his face was of pure hopelessness.

“Are you alright?”

Claire wasn’t a comforting person by nature, but everything in her was screaming to protect this man, to act as though he was a baby bird with a fractured wing she’d found in the garden.

“Claire,” Jones barely choked out. He closed his mouth and shook his head, a new wave of tears dripping down his sharp cheekbones.

she sat down next to him.

“What’s wrong?”

She never much liked Jones, she doesn’t understand what Dan even sees in him. why he lets the loud trendy take up so much space in his life.

And those blue eyes were so much more crystal with salty tears filling them up.

“You don’t know?” He asked. And then he turned himself on the couch to face her, taking one of her hands in both of his.

She recognized the jumper as one of Dan’s.

“Claire, Dan, he-” Jones squeezed his eyes closed, taking a deep breath before looking back at her. “Barley said he jumped. Out the window at Trashbat.He wouldn’t tell me why and Claire, he’s-he’s” his breath hitched, and Claire was mortified as Jones curled into her shoulder, his silent sobs shaking his thin shoulders again.

“I’m sorry,” he was muttering. “I’m sorry.”

“Jones, Dan’s fine.”

Jones wrapped his skinny arms around her, tugging her closer to him.

“He’s not, I know he’s not. I’m sorry I didn’t call, Claire, but I thought you knew that he’s-”

“No, Jones, I’m serious.”

Claire pushed his shoulders and held him at arm’s length.

“Dan’s in hospital, and his back is fucked up and he’s broken both legs and an arm, but he’s fine.”

Jones was as still as a statue.

It was unnerving from a man typically so high energy.

“He sent me here to collect some things for him. I have a list.” She pulled the list out of her back pocket, showing Jones Dan’s scribbled handwriting, the pleas for the patted Walkman and a few of Jones’s mixes.

“He’s alive,” Jones whispered to himself, a look of childlike awe on his face at the list in his fingers. “He’s alive.”

And then he looked up at Claire, and she never thought she’d say it, but the laughter was so much better. So much better than the silence.

[louciferish]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Nathan Barley (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dan Ashcroft/Jones Characters: Jones (Nathan Barley), Dan Ashcroft, Claire Ashcroft Additional Tags: Fake Marriage, Sort of? - Freeform, Post-Canon, Dan is doing better, But they're both still kinda fucked up, Beer, Marriage Proposal, Established Relationship Summary:

for the prompt, "You know I was only joking, right?"

"You know I like Jones, but… Jesus, Dan, you can’t crash at his place forever. You’re not twenty-five anymore. You’ve not even got your own bed, for fuck’s sake.”

“Actually,” Dan says, cool as anything, “I was planning to propose. There’s a ring box in my sock drawer with Jones’ name on it.”