#dan and phil masterlist

[phanfictioncatalogue]

ChronicallyIll!Phil (Reality) Masterlist

A Silly Coincidence (ao3) - emodnp

Summary: Migraine day for Phil, cured by.... a hat?

Short little story about the magic of the wad hat.

Chronic (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: “I don’t feel like I have good days,” he said. “I feel like I have bad days and worse days.”

or: Phil makes his peace with forever.

Have I told you lately, I’m grateful you’re mine (ao3) - phasamtasie

Summary: Phil is struggling with feeling like a burden on a day of strong migraines and Dan helps him feel at peace with accepting being taken care of.

in sickness and in health (ao3) - definitelynotczargasm, dizzy

Summary: Dan knows that something is off with Phil while they're on tour, but how can he help if Phil won't actually admit it?

Just A Scrape (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: Phil falls off stage at the Terrible Influence Tour and minorly injures his leg. It should feel like nothing, but after the long string of medical emergencies that he's suffered, Dan can't help but panic.

Little Tasks (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan helps Phil deal with a migraine

still so lucky (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan and Phil take a little trip, but Phil gets a migraine.

terrible headache: the tour (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Trying to get rid of a migraine isn't the easiest task, especially not when you're in a dressing room and people are expecting you onstage.

you're never gonna get by on three hours sleep a night (unless you absolutely have to) (ao3) - Mildredo

Summary: phil has a migraine on tour.

your love is my drug (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Phil wakes up with a migraine.

[the-phingo]

masterlist of all the phingo cards for TIT

the wheel of phingo to decide which card is yours!

card 1

card 2

card 3

card 4

card 5 (blank boxes)

card 6 (blank boxes)

card 7

card 8

card 9

card 10

card 11 (blank boxes)

card 12

card 13

card 14 (blank boxes)

card 15

card 16

card 17

upload your phingo progress and tag us!! we'd love to see everybody playing phingo

message if you'd like the image in better quality for printing or whatever purposes because tumblr has reduced the quality!

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

Spoilers for DnP Incohearent!!!!

I’m having so much fun trying to solve these that I made a list to keep track! Message if you can help me fill in any I’m missing or if I’ve got any wrong!!!

Also lmk if you see any I’ve missed!! I’m going to keep updating this and have it unrebloggable but you can reblog this post to have a link to it!

These are all gathered from this post and this post so check the notes on those first to try to solve them then look here if you need answers!

Sow march cheer ray = so much cherry

Wee nay urn for uke oye yer tub = we’ve never fucked on youtube?

Ta fold in fig = the golden pig

Feed hay hid eho = vday video

Tat he won ape hit morse him he = daddy want a bit more simmy

Watt ken ice hay = what can I say

North key bus teabag king = naughty busty baking

Fool tie enter nit hobo / fall tie mint her nepo moe / fault aye mint earn are ohm owe/ foul thyme inch hermit hole mold = full time internet homo

Cumin mile aid deed or = come in my ladydoor

Hum hay zinc tan = amazingdan

Elven ower fug sedge own = eleven hour fuck session

An berry moth ribeye adam stir = and every month we buy a hamster

March rest array = Manchester eye

Cyst herding yell = sister daniel

Add a ding teps = editing tips

Cop dubai khaki luna = topped by kakuna

Late eat tore = ladydoor

Half tugger etch two eggs cyst = have the courage to exist

Perish she end wink = Parisian twink

Coal ten big/ goal then pick = golden pig

Cyst ordain yell = sister daniel

Train youth inks = try new things

Gay mean moss/ gain ink mass = gamingmas

Soften need = soft and neat

A wools lied = owl slide

Topper bought them hill = top or bottom Phil

Coat fit firenze = golf with friends???

Few ours pig meow fits = viewers pick my outfits

Read less tar = red lester

Eye eight soup igloo = I ate super glue

Insight youth era too walls = inside you there are two wolves

Mine amy stan = my name is Dan

Clap hella = glabella

Hiss teeth rent = hits different

Eel eyes apron kay kiss = Eliza pancakes

See pram haze ink bra jet = super amazing project

Feels lie yawn = phils lion

Fuel ease snot dawn fair = Phil is not on fire

Jaw shush ear son = josh hutcherson

Ball bull him tour food = bauble in your foot?

Sure eck = shrek

High ate dust = hiatus

Add a dink deps = editing tips

Ga hay shoom air age = gay shoe marriage

Pope eat plate aim = poppy playtime

Eat aches stu = it takes two

Goo gal few ed = google feud

Baze ick lee eye meg ay = basically I’m gay

Ko min yout ti ew = coming out to you

Ender knit subvert grew oop = internet support group

Phylis turn yar a sheen yes = PHIL LESTER YOU’RE A GENIUS

With Audi intern yet wean ed brr wood halve mat = without the internet we never would have met

Gum ban yins drool I’ve = companions through life

Reed sons wide answer flail = reasons why dans a fail

Ewan dam ah some are reed = you and Dan are so married

Denver sis fill/ Denver cis full = Dan vs Phil

Or lawn huffing = all or nothing

Dunk rye core raft = don’t cry craft

Mortal jester roam and thick/ Morph adjust row antic = more than just romantic

So wall how debris poll light = swallow to be polite???

Oar hinge art = orange heart

Foray virgo em = forever home

Chai reel loop/ share real oob = cherry lube

Cad boyd anne = cat boy dan

Far turf ill lip = father philip

Tess lit hen ink = the slittening

Forth house indie rolled or touches = four thousand year old tortoises

Hey moth swish roundup floating = a month without uploading

Jam march let pet tea an farms = Je mange les petit enfants

Day lion howl tour = Dalien Howlter

Ima let all kit = I’m a little kit

Feel pearl lays shell ter = Phil plays shelter

Fewer blue key app ending = viewer spooky happenings

Hell low iam tour reel = hello I am Toriel

Laugh tuh gey mile kuh = left to get milk

Villas eek wreck why vuh = Phil’s secret wife

Footy strain gin said dent = ___ strange incident????

Snow core play sum = snokoplasm

Nope puts cereal sleeping mage innit = no but seriously imagine it

Tear rip pulling flu hence = terrible influence

Jeff why eye aisle hike vague liner = fyi I like vagina

Eggs intense all cry cis = existential crisis

List of contributors

@fletthewreck @dandp @deadandphilgames @manchesterau @thephouseplants @awrfhi @jonsaremembers @rachosaurusrex @dapgolf @dan-whoell @dnphobe @dreamingalto @steveandscraggy @phanbeats @danandfuckingjonlmao @pepper-pastry @yonpote @un-interactive-introvert @spaniel-trowel @sisterdanieldyke @queerdnp @morganadelacour @amid-fandoms @spectral-kitkat @goingpheral @angelzonearth @wdapteo @2009phan @dansevilpianotea

[serendipnpipity]

last phanspiracy masterlist post before the new year!!!

happy to announce i have all of the AUS/NZ data except Adelaide! hoping to keep up that rate for the second European leg.

if you remember what phanspiracies you got for:

Kansas City

Orlando

Reading

Adelaide

...you can fill them out by clicking the link and scrolling to your respective city!! thank you guys so much :D

[cat-clawz]

Also after the insanity is over I'm going to do little drawings of all of their kpop cards probably because I love them all so much

[deepcoraldragon]

Every time! Every time I think the last crazy thing has happened there's something else! What do you mean Dan and Phil are on shut up I'm talking??

[best-phan-video-poll]

POLL MASTERLIST, ROUND 4, WAVE 4

Round 4, wave 4, poll 1

Round 4, wave 4, poll 2

Round 4, wave 4, poll 3

Round 4, wave 4, poll 4

Round 4, wave 4, poll 5

Round 4, wave 4, poll 6

Round 4, wave 4, poll 7

Round 4, wave 4, poll 8

DID YOU VOTE, DEAREST PHANNIE?

These polls start closing on 3rd of December 2023 from 06:00 GMT+2 onward.

[thinking-emoji]

DnP Interview Masterlist

This is a work in progress! If you have any other links, send them to me!

Jan 2025

Shut Up I'm Talking Podcast (video) 26/1/2025 | mirror | add-on

Dec 2024

RNZ (audio) 10/12/2024 | mirror

Radio Adelaide (audio) 10/12/2024 | mirror | mirror

Junkee (article) 6/12/2024

Junkee (video) 6/12/2024

Today Show (video) 5/12/2024 | mirror | mirror

Nov 2024

Buzzfeed (article) 22/11/2024 | mirror | mirror

People (article) 1/11/2024 | mirror

Oct 2024

People (article) 6/10/2024

YourEx (article) 5/10/2024 | mirror | mirror

Master up to 2023 (courtesy of @stillarchivingdnp)

YWGTTN promo master (courtesy of @dailydnp)

May 2024

Dan: Times Radio (video) 11/5/2024

2023

Dan: Anthony Padilla (video) 17/1/2023

Dan: DNA Magazine (article) 9/1/2023

2022

Dan: Santa Barbara Independent (article) 30/11/2022

Dan: Gay Times (article) 11/11/2022

Dan: heatworld (video) 1/11/2022

Dan: Hits Radio (video) 21/10/2022

Dan: The Star (article) 5/10/2022

Dan: Buzz (article) 12/9/2022

Dan: Manc Union (article) 18/8/2022

Dan: Square Mile (article) 29/7/2022

Dan: metro.co.uk (article) 9/6/2022

2021

Dan: How To Academy (video) 1/7/2021

Dan: 1883 (article) 30/6/2021

Dan: RNZ Nine to Noon (audio) 30/6/2021

Dan: GQ (article) 30/5/2021

Dan: Waterstones (video) 24/5/2021

Dan: Amazon (article) 12/5/2021

2020

Dan: Guardian (article) 26/12/2020 | mirror

Dan: Pink News (article) 4/12/2020

Dan: Attitude (article) 7/10/2020 | mirror | mirror | preview

Dan: ITV Britain Get Talking (audio) 7/10/2020 | mirror

Phil: Evening Standard (article) 3/2/2020

2019

Dan: BBC (video) 5/9/2019 | mirror

2018

HMV (article) 10/12/2018

Toy News (article) 5/3/2018

2017

Edinburgh TV Festival (video) 24/8/2017

2016

Penguin Platform (video) 10/11/2016

Stand Up to Cancer (video) 15/10/2016

Variety (article) 4/10/2016

The Big Wakeup Call (audio) 21/4/2016

2015

Star Sessions (video) 20/11/2025

Huffington Post (video) 19/11/2025

WOCA Radio (audio) 17/11/2015

Sunday Times (article) 8/11/2015

SugarScape, Pt. 2 (video) 11/10/2015

SugarScape (video) 9/10/2015

2014

Rock Forever Magazine (video) 19/4/2014

2013

The Independent (article) 1/6/2013

The 4:01 Show (video) 17/3/2013

Dan: Elision (article) 13/1/2013

2012

Dan: Huffington Post (article) 26/11/2012

[aventoru]

calling hsr chars by their nicknames

w/ blade, boothill, dan heng, sunday, welt

warning(s) : none?? js some bad jokes and light teasing i think.

a/n : lol first time making an smau on this blog. i've been seeing a lot of hsr content on my fyp and got the inspo to write again!!! i'm planning to do more parts to this so pls let me know what other chars you wanna see<333

BLADE

BOOTHILL

DAN HENG

SUNDAY

WELT

masterlist

disclaimers : i know very little about welt's hi3 lore as an hsr player so i apologize for any inaccuracies. also idky dan&phil popped into my head even tho i didn't even watch them that much??? also imitating boothill's texting style was an insane journey lmao

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello! I would like to please request a MCYT preference (Quackity, Tommy, Ranboo, Karl, Tubbo, Badlinu) dating a SO who is a model. Their partner always look amazing in photos whether its blurry or not. They can even make a simple outfit look amazing.

You know those viewers pick my outfits videos (example: Dan and Phil)? You bet your ass that they will do it with their partners.

oooo yeah sure!!! ; also sorry if this is like wrong in any way, idk much about modeling lmaooo ; thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy!

MCYT ; model babe

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

the most supportive person everrrrr

you model mostly for alt brands so when a new thing pops up he's ON IT

he's a little dumb when it comes to remembering when you do certain shoots and he's like "when was this???"

always bragging how he pulled a 10

"remembering I have a model for an s/o 😍😍😍"

tubbo replies with "stfu"

you reply to him with "hater era is the worst tubbo era"

"u aren't even that big of a model u model for like hot topic bitch"

"learn to use commas"

he's so jealous of you but he keeps it lowkey

"I wish I had hair like yours" "I wish my smile was as pretty/handsome as yours"

you have to constantly remind him he's a 10 too 😔

RANBOO

plugging your shoots and socials all the time

you do some streams with them teaching them and Charlie how to model/what you do for shoots

you three did a "pick my outfit" video and posted the pics to insta before posting the video 💀

"guys... what happened?"

"I think they got drunk because what is this 💀💀"

"new y/n shoot dropped : we got drunk edition"

"HELP THESE ARE THE BEST"

became the face of tumblr memes for like 2 years after that

you also model for their merch/have given them tips on modeling the merch as well

model duo 😍

FREDDIE BADLINU

sooooo infatuated with you

saves literally every professional photo taken of you

"me and my s/o 😊❤️" and it's the cutest couples video ever of the bf swooning over his gf

always sending you poses to try out and stuff for your own personal pics

he always makes you the center in all his pretty photos and getting you to model / show him how to pose

he's literally so obsessed and thinks you're so fucking cool cause you model

even if it's just content creator merch or small shops, he's just like 🤯

"i went to a shoot with y/n... video drops tomorrow 3pm est"

"you ate that dress up freddie, trust"

yall r THE two pretty best friends

ALEX QUACKITY

BAD BITCH! WITH HER BADDIE FRIEND! TWO BAD BITCHES TWO BAD BITCHES!!!

anyways

sooooo infatuated

brings u on stream when he's lonely just to stare at you for a minute

"this is my baddie model s/o guys, say hi! 🤗🤗"

replies "BARK BARK BARK" under your posts like some crazy stan

the only stan u appreciate

he has a secret fan page for you

he edits too

they're pretty good for a beginner trying transition edits

made you a model playlist so you can get hyped for shoots as well and feel like a bad bitch

[pseudophan]

as a non-dan and phil watcher i just wanted to say thank you all for raising $90k+ for the PCRF!! i know this is not normally what you post about but please if you could boost this fundraiser i would really appreciate it

This fundraiser has been verified by el-shab-hussein (Renad is the #128 family on the second masterlist of gofundmes he verified). Renad is a 24 year old midwife who worked both before and during the iof invasion in Al-Quds and Al-Shifa hospital to care for mothers and their newborns. Her mother, father, and brother are all suffering from bad cases of Hepatitis A and need immediate medical attention.

her fundraiser has been stagnating for weeks now and I'm so worried for Renad (we have exchanged messages but one day she stopped answering). I want to do right by her and get her the funds needed to get her family to safety.

please consider donating and encourage your followers to do the same. i think you all are incredible and maybe a miracle will happen. thank you again.

Renad's gofundme (removed the parenthesis off this link): https://gofund(.)me/ef8a2764

hi! of course i'll share. let's help get it up to £15k!

remember even just five pounds goes a long way

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Terrible Influence Tour (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

angel and demon (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil go out to a bar dressed in a couple's costume, and Dan is surprised at just how freeing it feels.

(A fic about Halloween 2024, pushing boundaries, and the perils of red hair dye.)

apple dragon (ao3) - ShiwiSins (IetjeSiobhan)

Summary: Phil grumbles something into his coffee, and Dan’s face lights up with an expression so fond it feels almost wrong to look at.

Or: Dan and Phil on tour, through the outside eyes of a staff member.

boops! i did it again (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Phil's newfound confidence calls for a new kind of Halloween costume, and Dan can't resist him.

Color Theory (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil spend Halloween night out in Milwaukee dressed as Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens, and Dan unfortunately learns the consequences of committing to red hair dye when he gets back to their hotel room to wash it out.

cowboy hat canoodling (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Usually they’re of a height, somewhat because Dan has that tendency to slouch. But today Dan is in boots and the cowboy hat, both making him taller than usual.

Do beach chairs qualify as an emergency? (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil have a few days off in San Diego, and Phil is determined to relax on the beach, preferably with some comfortable chairs. All he needs to do is call and ask if they have any chairs available, so why do hotel phones have to make things so complicated?

Based on a question from the Toronto pre-show.

Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil are wrapping up their North American leg of the Terrible Influence tour on the east coast, getting ready for a show in a basement dressing room backstage. Dan notices that Phil's acting really suspicious, trying to keep Dan distracted from whatever he's doing. As it turns out, there's pretty good reason why.

Based on the question from "Our Phanniversary Newlyweds Game": Who kills/removes the spiders?

Falling for you (ao3) - dnpangels

Summary: Dan and Phil are cuddling in Phil's tour bus bunk. When Dan slips and falls out of the bunk, he wakes up the entire tour crew. Fluff and teasing from the crew ensues.

falling off the moon (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: "Dan fell off the moon!"

"I fell off the FUCKING moon!"

get to heaven in our own sweet time (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan and Phil choose their costume for Halloween 2024. Yeah, it breaks the internet, but they only have eyes for each other.

Heat (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Phil has eyes for a cute waiter. But Dan only has eyes for Phil.

if you weren't mine (i'd be jealous of your love) (ao3) - phook

Summary: dan and phil reminisce.

everything’s still romantic after fifteen years.

Karma is a cat (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil visit the San Diego Zoo and Dan insists he could beat a leopard in a fight. When their tour bus gets a flat tire in the middle of the night as they're on their way out of California, he's forced to defend his words and himself.

Like You Used To (ao3) - easybubbyy

Summary: The boys go out for drinks with their crew. Dan is a horny and clumsy drunk, and Phil is a goofy and flirty drunk. Smut ensues. Enjoy!

misplaced (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil misplaces his favourite hat while on tour.

On Tour Bus Beds (ao3) - katiecal1013

Summary: “Best buddies can share a bed!��� - Phil Lester, 2024

Open Doors And Coffee Stains (ao3) - SpiritsDJH

Summary: Things feel different. He noticed it maybe after the first few uploads, reading comments from some users he would recognize anywhere, and some from people he did not recall. Although familiar, the feeling of distrust or annoyance doesn’t pang in his chest anymore. If anything it is a breath of fresh air, a relief he didn’t know he needed.

our lips must always be sealed (ao3) - uhmyeah

Summary: dan and phil have silly tour sex

since before dan & phil. (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: “are you serious?” asked dan, peering down at phil, who sat in their dressing room with his gaze locked onto his phone.

sleepy hog (ao3) - ShiwiSins (IetjeSiobhan)

Summary: It takes him a moment of disoriented, sleepy blinking to realise the noise he’s missing is Phil’s snoring.

Or: a semi-sleepless night on tour with Dan and Phil.

Stinky Baby (ao3) - easybubbyy

Summary: Phil can be a bit bossy sometimes... (especially in the mornings). Dan doesn't mind one bit.

take on the world (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: just some soft, post-show intimacy <3

too long (ao3) - Mildredo

Summary: they're horny on tour. that's it that's the fic.

When in Washington (ao3) - dnpangels

Summary: An outsider POV fic about a guy sitting behind Dan and Phil at the University of Washington football game.

[terribleinfluence-tour]

New pinned post incoming!

Welcome to terribleinfluence-tour!

This blog serves to update and archive as much of Dan and Phil’s Terrible Influence Tour as possible.

So what will you find on this blog?

✰Reblogged m&g photos ✰Dan and Phil Tour Instagram stories and other social posts ✰Pre show recordings ✰Tagged show spoilers ✰Relevant Information (updates, promo. etc)

As this blog is also to serve as an archive we will be using a tag system to keep posts sorted into pages on the blog itself.

★ Full Tag List can be found here

★ Our Mobile Navigation is now up and running! You can find it here

★ Our full desktop blog is found here 

★ All spoilers will be tagged as titspoilers, we will only reblog spoilers posted under read mores!

★ If theres anything you want us to see or post we're tracking #DPGTIT

Spoilers below

★ Phan Conspiracies Masterlist

★ Phansins Masterlist

[donnieisonfire]

Dan from Law,

Phil from Media & Editing

is that how it goes? it’s been so long i forgor…

hey poo poos. its been a while, huh…i know, i know, i said i’d publish this the FIRST OF DECEMBER…but ya boy was a bit busy, gimme a breaaaak. anyways…here with a longer chapter to make up for it. enjoy. no smut. just a buncha gay boys and angst. as usual, tags under the cut :3

AO3 LINK

MASTERLIST OF THE CHAPTERS

jump scare, heart eyes howell

Tags :

Basically just fluff, a bit of angst. Mentions of Dan being outted, Dan having a sliiight panic attack?, Phil is allergic asf to cats, ADORABLE CAAATTTSSS, enjoy poo poos xox

Dan and Phil had exchanged numbers after around 30 minutes of talking on Grindr. Dan was just managing to wrap his head around the fact that fucking Phil was some variation of queer. Then, Phil proposed they meet up. For a date. Phil wanted Dan. Whether it was romantic or platonic, Dan was never going to reject that.

It was around midday by now, a little too late to go to a café because of the daylight savings, so they arranged to meet somewhere called ‘La Chat’. It was some French cat café, something that Dan couldn’t afford, but he’d be damned if he didn’t dig into his savings for this “date” with Phil. This might be his only opportunity.

Phil had been texting Dan about how he’d “have to slam back 10 antihistamines" because he’s allergic, but that he didn't mind because he would "rather die than not visit a cat café at all possible opportunities.’’

So, Phil was taking Dan out on yet another coffee date, and he didn't care about the fact that he was going to be sniffling the entire time. And goddamnit, Dan didn’t care either.

The next day, Dan woke up, showered, put on his ugliest knitted sweater as he thought it would beautifully fit the theme (it did) and some fuck ass jeans that most definitely didn’t fit him but were the only pair on his floor that weren’t, like, completely dirty, and then drove towards the cafe.

When he was in the shower earlier that same morning, he had debated not straightening his hair but leaving it, keeping it natural. That’s what his mother always used to say, ‘Girls want you naturally, Daniel’, but he quickly shot down the idea. What did his mother know? Anyway, no girl ever wanted him, naturally or not, so he decided on straightening his hair down. It was all he knew, after all.

His heart was pounding the entire time while he drove, his head a mess and his forehead just a ‘tiny’ bit sweaty, which only helped to slick his hair down to be even more pinstraight, even if it looked a little unnatural.

Maybe, in Dan’s dream world, when Phil and him had been together for a few months, he would let him see his hair. The way it looked just so shockingly different curled, how his fringe looked shorter when he didn’t use his shitty poundland-fake version of a GHD straightener to burn his hair to a crisp. Maybe, if Phil didn’t up and leave after a week or so of Daniel’s messed up self -- his self esteem issues, his bi-weekly existential crises’, his problems with procrastination despite his perfectionist mindset -- maybe he’d let Phil in. Maybe, just maybe, he’d let Phil see him, the imperfection of his hair caused by the years of heat damage.

Possibly.

–

Dan’s shitty ford fiesta slows down to a stop a few feet away from ‘La Chat’. Well, where maps said it was anyway. Dan had never come down this part of London, this was the ‘fancier’ part of London. It wasn’t ever really in Dan’s price range, and it was about a 20 minute diversion from the only route he went out in his car (his commute to work), so he had never seen the street the cafe was down, didn’t even recognise the name of the street, let alone know his own way to the cafe.

Dan was apprehensive to get out of his car, and, momentarily, he felt trapped. Trapped within a 1.1 tonne lump of pissing metal. Trapped within a moving death machine, but it felt safe. Safer than going outside, safer than going into that cafe. Safer than the possibility that Phil would stand him up. Safer than the fact this might’ve all been a lie, that the same thing that happened in Wokingham when he was 17 would repeat, that everyone would find he’s…whatever he is, gay, queer, it didn’t matter. He wanted to keep this a secret, a thing he would keep locked away until the guilt of it all was overpowered by stupid lust, until he didn’t care. But Phil, the mere idea of Phil, made that guilt slowly dissipate.

He took a large breath and refused to let it leave until he stepped out the car. After about 4 seconds, he climbed his awkwardly lanky body out of his shitty fiesta and he exhaled. It would be okay. Phil seemed nice, the idea of Phil and coffee seemed concrete, correct. In his mind, if Phil really wanted to stand him up, then he would pick somewhere shittier, - a bar, possibly - a place Phil wouldn’t regularly go to, not a cafe. Dan didn’t know a lot about Phil, but he knew he liked - loved - coffee.

Dan took a few steps, then he saw one of those foldable chalkboards with a ginger cat drawn in chalk with ‘’Sandwich + Milkshake for £12 every Tuesday, 4-6’’ next to it, written in blue chalk.

And then, without even having to look up and see the ‘Le Chat’ sign above the cafe and its large windows, he knew he was in the correct place. Expensive food, expensive drinks, shitty deals.

He looks up, still at least 5 steps from the door. His heart pounded even harder than it already was, from leaving the safe confines of his car, when he saw Phil in one of the booth’s near the window. He intently watched Phil for a few moments, watching – studying – what he did when he was alone.

Phil stood up inside the cafe, walking towards the male bathrooms. Dan watched him sneeze once, then again, then bump into a tall woman, wearing the ‘La Chat’ uniform, with a sandwich in her arms on a plate. The woman proceeded to drop the plate and Phil was apologising, while he continued to sneeze. A cat jumped atop of his table, poking its paw innocently in his cup, getting cat hair all in his coffee.

The whole scene was chaotic, yet it calmed Dan’s nerves as he stepped closer to the cafe. Chaos was regular for Dan, calmed him, made the world feel a bit more real, less worrying. Phil might be able to possibly size up to how chaotic he was. Possibly. Probably not, but possibly.

Dan watches as Phil stumbles off to the bathroom. He walks into the Cafe, hearing a little dingle above him from a bell attached to the door. No one looks over, relievingly. Except a waitress, the same waitress that Phil had knocked over.

‘’Hello. Do you need a seat?’’ She says. Dan shakes his head, ‘’No, I’m meeting someone. They’re already here. Thanks.’’ Dan internally cringed and slapped himself for saying ‘They’re’ instead of ‘he’s’. He was trying to get over the embarrassment of being gay, or whatever he was, and fixing small bits in how he spoke was a step in that direction; it just wasn’t that easy. At all.

The woman nods and walks into the back of the kitchen, presumably to ring in another sandwich to replace the one Phil had made her drop. Dan walks towards the booth that Phil `had been sitting at. There was a ginger cat on the table, splayed out, belly-up to the ceiling.

“God, I’d love to be a cat for a day.” A familiar voice spoke behind him as he sat down at the booth. He turned his head to his left, and there was Phil. Dan flashes Phil his most ‘I didn’t nearly cry in the car over here’ smile, which ended up being an awkward smile, but it got his whole ‘I’m happy to be here’ idea across, which was what he wanted.

[serendipnpipity]

Calling all Aussie & NZ phannies seeing TIT

What phanspiracies did you pick at the show? Add your data here!

Brisbane ��

Sydney N1 ✅

Sydney N2 ✅

Perth ✅

Melbourne 

Adelaide

Auckland

*updated cities!! thank you so much @deadandphilgames allie!!! :)

[hyperfixation-goes-brrr]

Okay, so I've seen at least like a couple people, say that the ones who thought Dan's "government said no homo" joke was insensitive, are just new phannies, who aren't used to Dan's sense of humor... so now I'm kinda curious :)

(Yes, I did repost this; there was a typo)

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