#damn it's really been three months since i've done a single thing for this fandom huh

[high-queen-margo]

Letters

Summary:  For @whitespiresarmory third theme: Kady writes letters to Julia, who she assumes is dead, after she runs from Reynard. Pairing: Kady/Julia Warnings: Drugs, suicidal ideation Length: 2,154

Read it on AO3

When the police came to Kady’s house to take her dad away, she ran to her room. When her mom came to her and said “Chickadee, baby, I messed up, people are dead, the hedge witches want you,” she ran to Brakebills. When Reynard took the Freetraders’ hearts and turned to Julia, she ran, and she ran, and she ran.

And she hid. She warded the flophouse down in Midtown and crouched in a corner and reinforced her mental wards and shrouded as much of herself as she could. To most magicians, for a time, she didn’t exist. Every second she sat in that corner, invisible to everyone but her own guilt, she tried to wrench herself out of her terror and find help.

Julia was back there with that monster.

Julia was dying if she wasn’t dead already.

But Kady didn’t move. She cried and she dragged her nails down the skin of her arms so hard she bled. All her life, she’d put on the mask of a warrior to cover the scared little girl beneath it. She’d always been a runner, but she never should have run from the one person she had left.

When morning came, after the night passed in a haze, Kady checked her phone. No texts. No calls. She ran through her contacts and hovered over Julia’s name, finger poised, desperate to know whether she was alive and terrified of evidence that she wasn’t.

The phone rang until it hit voicemail. Kady threw it into the wall, then collected it with its cracked screen and called again. She called three more times before crying into the receiver after the beep: “Jules, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please call me back if you’re okay.”

But the day passed and Julia didn’t call back. So did the next day, and the next week, and by the end of week two Kady had traded her phone for drugs.

She didn’t know what made her start writing the letters. She’d never sent any to her dad, or to her mom, or to Penny, or to anybody else she’d left behind, but she found a pen and a torn, wrinkled piece of paper and started writing, tears falling onto the words and smudging them.

Julia,

I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what else to say except that I wish I would have done something. Anything. I’m a coward and you suffered for it and I’m so, so sorry.

The world isn’t okay without you in it.

Kady wiped her eyes, crumpled the paper, and shoved it deep into her pocket. What was she doing? Julia would never read this, and “sorry” wasn’t going to bring her back.

But the next time she found something to write on, she found herself doing it again.

Julia,

I miss you. I don’t know what you believed in, especially after what happened, but whatever it is I hope it’s nice. If anyone deserves peace, it’s you.

I’m not doing so good. It’s been a month now and I’m still sick to my stomach all the time. I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t think I’ve cried this much in my whole life. Everything feels pointless.

You know, I don’t know what I believe about where you are now either, but I’ve thought about joining you. The thing is, I’m still a coward. I’m still running. Afraid of what comes next. I haven’t led a life deserving of a good death, Jules, and even if I had…I’m afraid of how to face you if we meet again.

I guess I’ll keep surviving until I don’t have a choice.

Kady stared at the letter, glassy eyed, before stuffing it into her pocket with the first one. It was pathetic, all of it. The letters. The wallowing. The fact that she hadn’t even changed her clothes since she’d run. At one point in her life she’d promised herself she’d never let things get this bad, but she couldn’t bring herself to care anymore.

The next time she wrote was after a dream. She’d had so many nightmares she became accustomed to them. What she couldn’t handle was waking from one simple, normal dream in which Julia was alive and well and lying peacefully in bed next to her. The rigid flophouse floor had never felt so cold and desolate.

Julia,

Do you remember the first night you invited me to sleep in your room instead of on the couch? We were up until like three in the morning talking about all the wrong we’d done and how we were going to make it right. I just had a dream about that night.

I’m fucking losing it. I know it didn’t really happen, but in the dream you faced me and held my hand and got close enough that I could see all those golden flecks in your eyes. Then I woke up and you were gone again. I can’t stand it. It hurts. I just want to be able to hold your hand and forget about all of this.

Fuck it all. I wouldn’t even admit to myself how I felt about you because it would have made me feel weak. What a joke, right? Look at me. I’ve never felt weaker than I do now without you. I loved you, Jules. I still love you. I wish I had the chance to tell you how important you were.

“You her? The miracle girl?”

Kady looked up at the man standing over her. He was young and dirty loose-fitting clothes, same as almost everyone else in the place, but she didn’t think she’d seen him before. He must have sought her out from elsewhere.

She heaved herself to her feet and tried her best to look like she hadn’t just been crying. “That’s me,” she said. “What do you need?”

The man rubbed his nose and looked away. “I don’t know if I have enough to pay for a life,” he said, “but…can you bring people back? From the dead, I mean.”

Kady snorted. How ironic. “If I could, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Yeah, I thought it was a stupid thing to ask.” He sighed. “What about my leg, then?”

She hadn’t noticed before, but he leaned to one side as he stood, his leg twisted out to a slightly unnatural angle. She may not be a true healer, but she’d been hurt enough times to learn how to take the pain away. She told him this, did a spell on his leg, and took the methadone he offered. She had it in her by the time he walked out the door.

When Kady opened her eyes and saw Julia’s face, she thought she must be hallucinating, or maybe even dead. It would track for an opioid overdose to end by mocking her like this.

But the vision didn’t fade. It touched her, and it pulled her to her feet, and it carried her out of the flophouse to Julia’s apartment where it dawned on her that this was real.

Julia helped her onto the couch and busied herself pouring a glass of water, then sat on the edge next to Kady and held it to her lips.

Kady wanted to push it away and talk, but she was parched, so she drank. When she finished, Julia set the glass on the side table and brushed Kady’s hair out of her clammy face and frowned down at her.

“What did you get into?” she murmured.

“Who gives a shit,” Kady murmured. “You’re here. Right? This is you?”

Julia nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I’ve been here. Where have you been?”

Kady shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes. That night had played over and over again in her head since it happened: her friends lying dead on the floor, Julia standing in front of her and demanding that monster of a god not to touch her. She’d had the image of Julia with her throat slit, her blood coating the hardwood, burned into her imagination for weeks.

She couldn’t help the sob that escaped her chest as she pulled Julia down and hugged her as tightly as she could. Julia tensed for a moment, then gave way to her touch and cradled her head in her arms as she cried.

“I thought you were gone,” Kady said. “I thought you were dead.” She pulled back and looked Julia in the eyes. Part of her still thought this could be a trick of the drugs, but it felt so real. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?”

Julia furrowed her brow. “What?” she said. “When did you call me?”

Kady stared at her. “The day after…you know,” she said. “Five times? Then every day for, like, two weeks. Did you not get any of those calls?”

“Shit.” Julia closed her eyes and covered her face with her hand. “Marina trashed my phone that night and gave me a new one, just with my family’s numbers. That’s my fault; I told her to patch over those memories and make sure I wouldn’t remember what happened.”

“Marina helped you?” Kady hesitated. “What happened after I left?”

Julia looked down and twisted her fingers together. “I don’t want to talk about that yet,” she said. “Um…you know where the shower is if you want to use it. You left some of your clothes in my dresser. And I’ll make you something to eat.”

“Okay,” Kady said. All she really wanted to do was sit there next to Julia and talk, or not talk, and just be happy that she was alive, but she could tell she’d struck a nerve and she smelled terrible anyway. She took one more long look at Julia before getting in the shower.

It felt good. She’d almost forgotten how nice it is to feel clean, so she took her time in the shower, letting the hot water run down her skin. She found her toothbrush in the bathroom, too, and spent five minutes scrubbing her teeth. She felt more awake now, more like a person. Like she’d finally come out of a long nightmare.

Julia was sitting on the couch in front of a stack of wrinkled papers when Kady came out of the shower, and it took her a few moments to realize what they were. Julia looked up when the door closed behind her and tentatively shifted the papers in her lap.

“I, uh…I was going to wash your clothes for you,” she said. “I felt these in your pocket so I took them out and then I saw my name, so…”

“Jules…”

How was she supposed to justify this? Julia was never supposed to be able to read those letters; they were for herself, as pathetic as that was.

“Are you okay?”

Kady blinked. “I mean, that’s kind of a loaded question. You did just pull me out of a flophouse.”

Julia looked down at the letters. “You pretty much just said here that you wanted to die. I don’t know when you wrote these but…just tell me you won’t.”

She looked up and Kady could see now that her eyes were red and puffy.  Had she been crying? A pang of discomfort settled in her chest. “I was pretty high when I wrote that,” she murmured. It wasn’t a lie.

“Kady.”

“I won’t,” Kady said. “I promise, okay? I was alone then, but now I’m not.” She sat down beside Julia. “Forget about me. What about you? How have you been doing after…?”

Julia snorted and leaned back to stare up at the ceiling. “About the same.”

“This is so fucked.”

“Tell me about it.”

They sat silently for a few moments, neither of them looking at one another, until Julia said, “Did you really mean that stuff you said about me? In the letter about the dream?”

Kady paused, but there was no use in denying it. What was it she’d said? I wish I had the chance to tell you how important you were? Well, now was her chance.

“Of course I did,” she said. “I can’t even remember the last time somebody made me feel…I don’t know. Hopeful? Happy? You’re someone I actually wanted to be open with for once in my life.” She laughed dryly. “I mean, I sucked at it, but I wanted to.”

Julia hummed and reached out to take Kady’s hand. She ran her thumb over her knuckles and pulled herself closer. “Can we just…”

“Yeah,” Kady breathed, allowing Julia to curl up against her side and rest her head on her shoulder. She almost thought she might cry again, but she managed to keep it at bay as she held Julia and breathed with her in steady silence. Maybe things would be okay, she thought. As long as they had each other.

[vallygirl285]

Can The Rational Fans of SPN Please

STAND UP AND TAKE BACK OUR FANDOM!!!

Okay I'm going to say right up front to anyone who follows me if you're offended by this post, I'm sorry but I can't stand what the obnoxious part of this fandom has done. This is a long ass rant too so I'm sorry and you can ignore it all you want.

No I'm not just singling out Destiel, Hellers, Wincest, JA, JP or MC fans because newsflash every aspect of those fandoms has so many assholes that they all make it miserable for the rest of us.

I'm not into Destiel or Wincest...I don't ship JA & JP...I don't ship JA & MC or JP & MC. I'm not a J2 or Tinhat...I may not care for DA or GP as actresses but I don't think they're 'beards' either and dear god in heaven if Jensen truly was gay and needed a beard I like to think he has better taste than what he married but sadly these ships are the loudest and make so much of the fandom unpleasant.

Do I think these three men are friends in real life...I don't really know and I don't really care because it doesn't change my enjoyment of the show either way.

I'm sorry if you're so needy for acceptance or whatever your issue is that you need a TV CHARACTER to show your representation for your sexual orientation but that is your problem it's not the creator of the show, the actor who portrays the character or the network problem...it's yours.

Here's a quick recap of what Supernatural is about since this seems to continue to get lost in the shuffle. It is a show about two heterosexual brothers who have an unhealthy co-dependency on each other because of a tragedy when one was six months old and one was four years old and father who put way too much responsibility on that four year old to protect his baby brother. It's a show about hunting the monsters that caused the tragedy.

So in a nutshell DEAN WINCHESTER was never written as gay...bi...or any other thing you need the character to be for whatever your personal reasons are.

There are plenty of shows with characters that are gay, bi and lord knows what else you're into...pretty much anything goes now a days and there's enough shit shown on cable to cover it.

If you want to watch two men together watch shows like Roswell, NM or Teen Wolf (I know there are others...I just can't think of them and they don't matter to me so I'm not looking them up).

Also can people take a fucking chill pill...Jared and Jensen responding to that question about Castiel's confession wasn't homophobic...seriously this is the biggest problem in our society. Nobody can accept anyone else's thoughts or opinions if they don't mesh with their own and claims the other person must be a bigot.

See this is why I've been bitching since the 80s when suddenly every child began 'making the team' and 'getting a trophy' or when they were playing they didn't keep score because they didn't want the other children on the opposite to feel bad.

It's so unrealistic and this is why we have adults now who can't fucking accept not getting their own way and have hissy fits about every preconceive slight against them.

Newsflash actors don't owe you a damn thing other than to entertain you. They aren't responsible to 'represent' you unless they choose so on a personal level.

And yes I'm sorry I do agree MC is a huge part of this issue because he has played to that side of the fandom for his own personal reasons (mostly to make money and I will admit to being Anti-Misha) but again seriously people who 'brag' about the Cameo he did for them and 'stated' Destiel was cannon in said Cameos.

OMG...you fucking paid the man to say it. He's an actor and he's reading some lines you sent him with your payment. You could send him a request to say he saw a leprechaun doing the Electric Slide down a rainbow...just because he says what you pay him to say doesn't make it real.

How sad is your life that you need any actor or actress to 'speak' to you via Cameo to justify anything in your life. I'm sorry I adore Alona Tal as an actress but I wouldn't pay her $1.00 to say a single word to me on that site because it's not real...it's all smoke and mirrors. It's not meaningful in any way, shape or form.

I don't care truthfully...I get actors are supplementing their income with this thing but that is all it is for them and any who claim otherwise is full of shit. It's another revenue stream for them and so what. I don't really have a problem with it but I do have a problem when you have fans who can't tell the difference and actors who encourage it.

Also can people stop with their idiotic 'conspiracy' theories while we're at it. Like Sigmund Fraud said, 'sometimes a cigar is just a cigar' and a flannel shirt is just a freaking flannel shirt. Seriously if you people put half those thoughts into things that really matter than trying to find 'hidden meanings' in the color of a shirt, the way somebody held their coffee cup in a scene or any of the other ridiculous 'observation' that come across my feed because honestly I don't even think I can add enough filters to stop this crap from hitting my feed that would be lovely.

To recap, I love the actual show...the one we watched for 15 seasons...not anyone's interpretation. I'm actually a fan of Jared and Jenson as actors. I also like a good chunk of the other actors who were on the show too (minus Misha, Kim, Chad and a few others).

Ok my rant is over...I know it's not going to make a difference other than my need to blow off steam because I have to trudge through so much crap on my feed.

[janiedean]

Hey, lately I've seen a lot of people hate on book!Tyrion and talk about what a terrible person he is and wanted to hear your take on that, because I don't really get it. I think that he is a really interesting character in the books, more so than in the second half of the show, if you ask me.

(sorry for replying this late I needed time to get to it and stuff happened haha)

soooo... tldr: I think *tumblr* has a shitload of issues with tyrion that are 90% rooted in the fact that this website thinks hating men is cool/that men are the worst always *and* also only cries ableism when it’s convenient or to call ableist things that are not in fact such (ie ‘omg if you use stupid is ableist’ which... automatically implies that anyone with a disability is *stupid* and the likes), and in tyrion’s case there’s.... an overlap of those specific issues added to the fact that since he’s a general fan favorite regardless of any fault of his then it’s fine to trash on him. going in depth on it:

now, there’s admittedly a difference in between book and show tyrion in the sense that the show version is a lot less gray and has cut on a lot of material in that sense, but like...... it’s d&d who after they decided to chunk the book storyline couldn’t write him properly so I’m not touching that topic because it’s not *his* issue, it’s theirs, and as you said... well obv. he’s more interesting in the books, because he has a lot more layers and he actually does something post-asos instead of rehashing the same three jokes that aren’t even on par with *his* book humor because he’s too smart for d&d to pull off correctly (I mean from S6 to S8 they managed to give him good lines in... the finale? PROBABLY? but they can’t write him, it’s their problem);

when it comes to book!tyrion, he obviously has faults same as 99,9% of the characters in these books, but all of those faults are... absolutely understandable given his background? I mean, so he hates his father and his sister, has fairly unhealthy coping methods and that got worse after asos, but... he comes from a lifetime of parental/familial abuse that crowned with tywin forcing him to rape his then-wife who actually did love him and convincing him he was unlovable, cersei was molesting him in the cradle and the only person who cared about him outside the uncles brigade which wasn’t around all the time was jaime who went off to get traumatized for himself at thirteen, and that just because of how he looks and for his disability, do we ask him to be a perfectly adjusted person? not really, and actually the fact that he tries to be better than 99% of his family all the time and that he actually has a lot of empathy for disadvantaged people and empathy in general says a lot about how he’s a pretty damn decent person, not a terrible one;

now, I think that this fandom on tumblr has ten problems with him because in order, the fact that he’s a man already puts him on a disadvantaged level but that’s common to most guys in this fandom like on tumblr in this fandom if a female character fucks up and a male character fucks up, the latter will be called out upon it way more than than the female character. also, abused male characters don’t get recognition for that 99% of the time. but that also means that his disability gets brushed off/ignored because since **according to tumblr standards** it’s not stopping him from doing most of what he’d like and no one takes it into account, his abuse gets brushed off/ignored because WELL HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE, the fact that he’s a man means he has male privilege and whatever the fuck else and since he’s technically (in the book at least) Not Standard Attractive then he doesn’t even get the shitload of excuses hot people get in virtue of being hot;

also, there’s a certain attitude I really don’t like at all whatsoever to describe the fact that in his POVs he always goes about how much he hates his father/cersei or WHERE DO THE WHORES GO in adwd as whining/being unable to get over it/dying of self-pity but like.......... that’s..... how he copes with knowing he’s been treated like shit? like, thing is: in a literary genius foil with his brother who has no idea of the crap he was unjustly subjected to if not very subconsciously and whose coping method is *going away* and/or forgetting about things and/or not thinking about them, tyrion’s coping method is never letting himself forget it and honestly.... so he thinks shit about his father and sister all the time? tough luck, they’re his abusers, ofc he does. he can’t get over thinking no one will love him because of his looks? tough luck, he was told that all his life and when he found someone he thought did tywin organized that rouse so he’d think she was with him for money and he forced him to rape her which is also called rape by proxy so he’s also a rape victim and he was thirteen? wow, if I were him ie someone whose first advice to a main character in these books was ‘never forget about your weaknesses and make them your armor so people can’t hurt you with them’ then I also would be thinking about that all the time. he’s an abuse victim and he’s not away from his abusers until the end of asos, what are we expecting, that he’d get over it? actually it’s a way healthier method than jaime’s because at least he knows he’s been wronged all along and he can see both c. and his father for the assholes they are but at least he knows that and he harbors no illusions about them even if he still kind of wants them to love him same as most people would, but like... that’s not whining? that’s stuff that it’s absolutely normal he should be thinking? also, the where do the whores go thing in adwd is....... basically he just learned that his biggest trauma was not what he believed it was and he has to reconcile himself with the fact that a) tysha never not loved him, b) jaime was in on it even if he subconsciously knows that he also was a victim in that ploy (when he dreams about killing him in adwd he’s crying, sooooo) and he has to know because jaime told him out of *guilt* and he damn well knows it, like he’s re-elaborating the entire thing, obviously he’s fixated on it??? I mean the moment I figured out a specific thing that I hadn’t realized about an unhealthy relationship I had with someone I spent a month thinking about it every other moment for a month and it was nowhere near that same level of terrible, and I’m surprised that he thinks about that for all of adwd? like, I find those justifications very iffy and incredibly dismissive of a) his trauma b) his abuse victim status;

also there’s the whole HE KILLED TYWIN thing but..... I honestly am baffled it’s even a thing fandom thinks he should pay for or anything. like, the problem is that he killed *shae* in that context, and that was also out of feeling betrayed after just learning of how it really went with tysha, and that’s why he’s on the downward spiral/his lowest point in adwd, but.... tywin? really? like tywin is an asshole period, he abused him all his life, he traumatized the shit out of him for his entire life and made him grow up thinking he was unlovable and outright told him he wanted to drown him, and not even counting what tywin did to *him*, we’re talking about someone who went and calmly planned the red wedding the moment he realized there was no way he could take out robb without treachery and didn’t feel particularly bothered by it on a moral level, and we’re sad that he died or think that tyrion has to pay for it because he killed his abuser who also never really was a father to him in any sense of the word? like what the fuck does tyrion owe tywin? literally nothing and tbqh it’s tywin narratively reaping the seeds of what he’s sown if tyrion goes and offs him. like, a lot of people re fixed on this thing about OH HE KILLED HIS FATHER HE DOESN’T DESERVE REDEMPTION but the narrative doesn’t ask it of him. he has to make peace and find his own redemption for killing shae at that point, not tywin. tywin had it coming since the moment he showed up. like, saying he’s a horrible person for offing someone who only ever abused the shit out of him doesn’t really fly as far as I’m concerned;

at this point we get to ‘okay but in adwd he does a lot of questionable things’, but..... a) he’s supposed to be at his lowest narrative point and a lot of people have done a lot of questionable things at their lowest narrative point in these books, I mean if I think theon can have a nice life and get better after his WF stint I can think that tyrion can have a nice life and get better after his adwd stint, b) it’s nothing he’ll be proud of when he pulls his shit together (and he already had started by the end of adwd) but I mean... it’s nothing worse than most people who have to pull their shit together in these books have done lately, like honestly writing him off as a horrible person because of his adwd stint reaaaaally reeks to me of double standard which is based on the fact that no one around here wants to recognize that he’s an abuse victim and his reactions are valid and that yes his disability singles him out and is the reason people target him and not his merits or demerits. I mean he even spells it out, he’s been on trial for being a dwarf all his life/everyone already judged him for that regardless of his actual faults, and that’s not him being delusional, it’s the truth. he’s a person who certainly has faults same as anyone else but guess what a lot of people around fandom do what tywin does and exacerbate them if you ask my opinion;

(that also can be seen when it comes to what people think of the guy being shipped around because believe me I wish I hadn’t seen people saying he couldn’t be a good option for sansa because he’s not the beautiful gallant stainless dude she deserves, and I’m saying it as a sansan shipper first but come the fuck on) (other than that tyrion/bronn is ofc the superior ship but nvm me)

also there’s the whole thing where people decided that since tyrion is a general fandom fave in between the w.org/reddit crowd/general audience then obviously if the dudebros (ugh i can’t with that generalization anymore sure af freefolk is less puritan than tumblr from what I see) like him then he has to also incarnate the Worst Type Of Male Fan Of Asoiaf In Existence and like........ now, I don’t doubt that when it comes to the *general audience* there’s a lot of misconceptions going around plus a lot of his character faults get ignored (I mean when I went on w.org the first time the first thread I ran into was like ‘wow sansa is a bitch for not kneeling at once when they married and making him feel like shit’ I mean that’s a situation where you should feel bad for both but calling her a bitch for not wanting to kneel while marrying a guy she was forced to who also belonged to the family that killed her brother and mother and her father too is like......... come on seriously?) but that’s the same with most fandom faves in any fandom, it doesn’t mean that if some of his fans see him with rose-tinted glasses then on this side of the pond we have to decide he sucks when he doesn’t, and as I said time and time again..... do we remember the last time that in any fandom the general audience favorite character who sells the merchandise more than anyone else is a disabled abuse victim who doesn’t shut up about it and tries to be better than anyone else thinks them able to? because I don’t and while tyrion is not top five asoiaf for me I’m very glad that *he* is the general audience favorite. so they don’t get the point or see him with rose-tinted glasses? happens to fandom faves in general, but it doesn’t mean that he’s a terrible person in the text just because the dudebro crowd (if we wanna call it like that but meh) likes him. so what, he is the audience fave? good, I’m beyond fine with him being the audience fave. I honestly don’t think it’s an argument that should even be brought up because ‘that character’s fans are shit so the character is automatically shit because we judged the fans on their supposed gender’ is not an argument. *shrug*

tldr: I think people on here exaggerate his flaws (that everyone has) and are bitchy about the fact that he is the general audience favorite because how dare a guy who’s as far as we know cishet (which is already bad for tumblr standards), not standard hot (crime!!), has a disability (which gets ignored 90% of the time when discussing his privilege or lack thereof), is an abuse victim who won’t let you forget it and you can’t deny/headcanon differently (which is a thing tumblr can’t accept - I mean, men being abuse victims, and with hc differently I mean that people outright deny that idk jaime was one because he doesn’t realize he was so you have to actually read into the text to realize it, but they can decide he’s not because it requires effort to put it together - or deny sandor was one because we don’t have his pov and we only see his destructive coping methods and so on - with tyrion they can’t because he never lets you forget he was and admitting it is apparently hard, also one of his abusers is a woman and We Do Not Admit That Women Can Be Abusers On Tumblr Dot Com) and who has fucked up but not worse than most people in these books be the audience favorite? WE JUST DON’T KNOW. personally I think he’s pretty damn great and an amazingly conceived/written character (I mean in a series where all the characters weren’t so well-rounded and I didn’t have other people I latched on before that he’d have totally been top three material for me he just got unlucky to be in the one series where everyone is well-rounded and there’s people that I resonate personally more with but really he’s an amazing character all around) and I can’t wait for him to pull his shit together in the next book and possibly get the nice ending he deserves along with better dialogue than d&d gave him, but from there to say he’s a horrible person.... geez. my list of horrible persons in these books runs very long and he’s nowhere near it. ofc he has faults but no character in these books is faultless except maybe gilly, and not even people under the age of twelve are faultless in these books come on.