#damn are you a mantis? cause my head is all yours (interpret that however you want )

[garbashedump]

...white guy Scrabby phrases

I GOT THE LIST bunch of things of mildly zesty phrases Scrabby would probably say

"don't get your panties in a twist" (ofc ofc)

"shiver me timbers! I'm freezing like a popsicle out here"

"hey guys let's split up to cover more ground"

"working hard or hardly working?"

"hi hungry I'm dad."

"the early bird catches the worm!

"wow were sure in a pickle here!" (Prism fav phrase ofc)

"that's it no more Mr. Nice auditor! that's the last straw buckeroo."

"you're on thin ice pal."

"I'm keeping my eye on you."

"you catch more scrabbys with sugar than smoke "

"Ahh, a good ol' cup of Jake Joe!"

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"

"Time to dig in!" / "Time to get my grub on!"

"Oh look the suns out while its raining! guess the devil is beating his wife"

"Uh oh looks like we got company..."

"See you on the flip side!"

"You're looking a little tipsy-tury my friend."

"Looks like someone's buzzed as a bee."

"Looks like someone is decks below the ship."

"Oh how the tables have turned."

"Its the heart of the cards!"

Lifting heavy stuff: "Man anymore lifting and I'll blow my back hip out."

"Well slap my ass and call me Sally."

"Well butter my bugs and call me a Biscuit"

"Better safe than sorry!"

"Oh crumbs."

"Let's not dilly-dally too long guys."

"Aw quit being a negative Nancy!"

"Oooooh..... Right in the bread basket."

"Jeeze Louise lemon squeeze!"

" Holy moly guacamole!"

"Stop all of this tomfoolery this instant!"

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"

"Oopsie daisy!"

"Guess whoo✨" (Covers Prism's eyes)

"Beggars aren't choosers."

"Ahh I see, the apple never falls far from the tree."

"Looks like ya got ants in your pants."

"All bark but no bite huh?"

"Man that really ruffles my feathers."

"Ah! It'll be like finding a needle in a haystack!!"

"I'm losing my marbles over here!"

.....ok.... i may or many not have more but the- they're Scrizzers..

damn are you zombie fungi? cause you got me under your spell

are you a spider? cause you woven me in your web of love

are you the summer sun? cause you got my cheeks sunburnt red

Prism: damn you a cigarette? cause you got me addicted to you (Scrabby would then die after hearing this)

btw these are directed towards lawful joke au by @chaosaliien

[mango-dolphin]

okay guys abstract pokemon interpretation time

> arceus is either     I.) a soft cuddly ungulate who quietly governs the pokemon universe or     II.) a cosmic Lovecraftian horror of unfathomable, incomprehensible appearance whom is everywhere and nowhere, its tissue every universe, its veins every timeline, and its blood the circulation of all that creates and destroys everything. every organ is another countless realities, and its body is everything we will know and will never know. its ring and thousand arms outstretched are the templar of every atom’s being. That’s important to get out of the way.

> Dialga is a mutant liopleurdon, or another terrifying ancient aquatic dinosaur. I say this because I firmly believe that Palkia is a mutant jumbo shrimp. With wings.

> Giratina is your winged metamorphin’ centipede god that’s a given

> What the fuck is Meloetta

> If Cresselia is widely believed to be a swan, then it should be fair that Darkrai is actually a big dumb owl who keeps breaking my damn birdbath

> I like to headcanon the Ralts line as giant mantises, or animated suits of armor. An artist I look up to headcanons them as satyrs. All three are better than that damn furrybait. Honestly giant mantis is my favorite > Animated armor Ralts line™ were often paired with the Honedge line, as it was believed the positive energies (fairy-type) of a Gardevoir counteracted the negative energies (ghost-type) of an Aegislash.

> Also, while the fairy-type was being studied, it was first believed it was just a weird ghost-type due to their surprising similarities—but discovering that Pokemon like Mawile and Azumarill were possessing the energies of a now titled Fairy type, this put Pokemon typing science on its head. Now it’s seen as kind of silly that they were confused together, but it now explains why rookie aura-trained Lucario confused Pokemon like Misdreavus and Duskull with Spritzee and Clefairy. > “like seriously why’s Finnick putting the clefairy with the duskull they’re completely different types”

> I’m serious what is Meloetta, nymph is much too obvious

> Jirachi and Deoxys are related in a convoluted space alien way. In an even bigger reach, it’s not Jirachi and Deoxys that are related but Deoxys and Necrozma.

> Voltorb is perfect the way it is next

> Similarly to the Ralts line, the Pawniard line is either giant bugs or actually more animated armor. Going with the mantis side, the Pawniard and Ralts lines are related. Going with the animated armor side, there’s a myth that says the first Bisharp was created by the spirit of a vengeful samurai, cursed to a lifeless living after performing a spell that would make him immortal. hey don’t ask i just made this up

> Mr. Mime and Jynx stay the same humanoid things, and that’s the most disturbing thing to me than just saying they’re bugs or satyr or undead samurai or whatever > @nannycanes suggested that a Jynx was an actress’ wardrobe come to life, but what does that make smoochum, make-up? a doll?

> The genie trio actually kind of resemble their therian forms, but only barely. They’re kind of like freakish oni people that are birdish/lionish/whatever thundurus is supposed to be

> Steel types are the best this isn’t a headcanon this is actually fact

> Pokemon like Sharpedo, Weavile, and Tyranitar are actually extremely shy or reclusive. On the flip side, Pokemon like Bidoof and Cherrim are highly aggressive or difficult to maintain. However, Hydreigon’s just a big fat dick.

> Unown are known to be one of the shyest Pokemon, and highly unpredictable. They’re the bane of all scientists, since they don’t respond to testing well and are hyperaware of their surroundings. Not only this, but their “curiosity” has led to them doing... hard to describe things. This is why no one knows anything about them. It’s speculated that Unown do all of this on purpose, but this is biased as this opinion has come from only scientists who’ve researched them (and failed). > Specific note that all scientists have failed getting much out of Unown. Current information is just stitched together from loose reports and findings, many of which unusable as no one can repeat the procedures. > The bane of all scientists. Doesn’t matter if you’re a botanist they’ll fuck your plants up too

> The Litwick line has recently been known to possess modern lamps. There are specific instances of Chandelures possessing disco balls or ceiling fans, and research has stated that this is not at all harmful to the Chadelure, but depending on the nature of the Pokemon, can be dangerous to others. > Unlike Rotom, Litwick must attach its being to one specific object and grow into it alike to metamorphosis. The Pokemon spends its whole existence in whatever object it’s placed into, and is uninclined to move from it, which can be dangerous for the Pokemon if it possesses something that doesn’t have a safely guarded, flammable substance (be it candles, gas, or electric circuits).

> South America is real, source: Mew

> Everyone assumes that Pokemon lay eggs, but literally no one knows. Pokemon are shy breeding around humans or even other Pokemon. I’d say sex but even breeders don’t know

> Different colors on a Pokemon does not constitute shininess, though shininess often constitutes different colors. What indicates shininess is a gene that causes Pokemon to create certain hormones and oils in excess or lack of such, often meddling with their coats and such. Despite poaching, shiny Pokemon coats can often be very fragile and poor quality for fashion. Don’t poach. > Breeding for shininess can often lead to unhealthy baby Pokemon in the hands of an inexperienced breeder, and inbreeding in experienced ones, which has left a plethora of regulations on Pokemon breeding.

> Still don’t know what Meloetta is

> Toxapex and Mareanie are universally agreed to be the worst Pokemon in terms of handling. They’re overly aggressive and manipulative, highly finicky, and lethargic. A competitive trainer with a well behaved Toxapex is rare and to be feared.

> Scientists have proposed making the Latios and Latias species considered the same, due to the fact they simply have wild sexual dimorphism. The reason why this isn’t so is because of the same reason the Nidoran family aren’t classified as the same: “different statistics, dawg“.

> Bugs

> In some circles in Unova, Musharna has taken the same role Hypno has, which is considered coincidental due to how they share a recent common ancestor. However, Musharna are recognized to be much more benevolent than Hypno, which is very assuring that they won’t take you away in your sleep. They totally could, though.

> The Gothita line are organisms that basically resemble living dolls. Theories of the Shuppet and Gothita lines being related have been passed around, but due to the Shuppet line being non-organic, this is highly unlikely. > “gothita is heavily pressured into behaving and appearing appropriately not only by their trainers, but their peers. A gothitelle that lounges upside-down on the couch and drinks lemonade while watching reality TV is rare�� —@nannycanes

> “ Meloetta is a super specialized locust. It's dormant form has such fine wings that when it rubs them like a cricket, the unique sound mimics human song while it holds it's mouth open to cool off from expending the energy. Playing the right song activates a hormone trigger in the brain that causes a rapid metamorphosis into its more aggressive and hungry swarming life stage. “ —my friend dev

> I’m almost 15 and don’t have a life how sad