#daily and there’s nothing or no one that can change anything

[isa-ah]

google: how to stop cofronting & become a corporeal being again

[dirt-str1der]

I dont care about majima x sagawa btw but i care a lot about their relationship regardless because i want them to have the most toxic dealings and skewed power dynamics with each other as possible and i them both to have increasingly warped perceptions of each other (worlds most incorrect uncle-nephew relationship)

[kavehater]

“Look at you you’re such a doll you’re so cute and the things you talk about are so entertaining and lively and fun and you’re soft spoken with a soft heart it makes people want to stay with you …apart from when you complain”

THAAAANK YOU ! You see this is why I never speak. I have been hearing this complaint from everybody. Am I as a human being not allowed to be upset and complain about things ?! This is why I bottle everything up. Ykw it’s my fault for that because I AM easy to talk to so it invites everyone even those who are intolerant to everything. Let me get mad let me be upset and complain UGH.

[dredshirtroberts]

y'know. i don't often hate the way my brain is and how difficult it makes certain things for me.

i do a little today though.

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

[spacelazarwolf]

i do think that one of the worst things “activist” spaces on the internet ever did was convince young marginalized people that individual people, complete strangers, were their oppressors. no, matt from chemistry class isn’t personally oppressing you because he’s a guy, that old lady at the bank isn’t personally oppressing you because she’s cis, your waiter isn’t personally oppressing you because they’re white. individuals can and do contribute to systems of oppression. but seeing random individuals you encounter in your daily life as your oppressors will do nothing but trick you into punching laterally or punching down because you think it’s “empowering.” you might get a momentary rush of endorphins from snapping at the male cashier bc #menaretrashuwu but all you’re doing is being shitty to a random guy making poverty wages.

i saw a tik tok the other day that like perfectly described this phenomenon, how gen z (and some young millennials too tbh) pushes for systemic justice and equality, but refuses to give that on an interpersonal level, and like. y’all. you simply cannot achieve systemic change if you’re not also working toward interpersonal change. you will do more for your own liberation by treating others with sensible patience and kindness than you will pushing this toxic individualist narrative of “i don’t owe anyone anything and i get to act however i want to people i view as my oppressor.” we need class solidarity now more than ever.

[spideyjimin]

UNTIL I FOUND HER | kth

⤷ part of the dads universe

⏤ pairing: football/soccer player!taehyung x female reader 

⏤ genre: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, angst, fluff, and smut 

⏤ rating: 18+

⏤ warnings: dom!taehyung, swearing, alcohol consumption, jealousy, a lot of making out, sexual tension, mention of sex, some teasing, praising, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, multiple orgasms, mention of oral sex, some crying, mention of pregnancy, mention of unprotected sex, mention of abortion, and pregnancy  

⏤ words: 17,145

⏤ summary: taehyung is your best friend, he’s been part of your life for as long as you can remember. his love life is a complete chaos. there is only one girl he has truly ever loved. that girl is you. but how would things turn out when he finds out that you love him back?  

⏤ author’s note: the fic is finally here 🤗 i loved writing this fic & writing this Tae, he’s so soft 🥹 honestly, i was super excited to post it, i truly hope you enjoy this fic 💜 let me know what you think of it & thanks for reading, angels ✨

DECEMBER 31, 2021

As every year, you celebrate the new year with your best friend, Taehyung. You’re not really fond of this celebration but you get to be with your best friend so you deeply cherish this day. This day is also a continuation of his birthday which takes place the day before. 

Since he became a professional footballer/soccer player, you barely get to see him. His life changed completely. He trains a lot on a daily basis, he has games during the weekend, he constantly travels, and most importantly, he became famous. He’s one of the best players of his generation so he gets a fair amount of attention. It’s been hard for you to find your place in this new life, but Taehyung has always made sure to keep in contact with you. Most importantly, he has been keeping you out of the public eye. 

Everything that he does instantly makes headlines, he doesn’t get much of a private life. However, he protects the people he dearly loves. Seeing him become that famous broke your heart because you’ve been loving him for a couple of years now. With his fame, you get to see him kissing girls and flirting with them. For a while, he also had a girlfriend and he was going everywhere with her. It was hard to see even though he had introduced her to you. 

There are quite a lot of people at this party. But nothing new. You don’t know most of the people, they are friends of friends of friends. In summary, they were invited by someone. Taehyung also invited known people like Jungkook, a famous singer, and Hoseok, a famous actor. They’ve met through acquaintances and since then, they’ve been invited to this new year party. You like them a lot, they are very nice people despite being famous. Hoseok is actually the one with whom you’ve got closer. He’s now like a super friend. 

You’re sitting at a table with Jungkook and you’re animatedly speaking. Honestly, you’re surprised by the life this man lives. He’s been a singer for more than 10 years but it feels like he has been living that life for 30 years. So many things have happened in his life and he has done so much. He’s also young so it’s almost impossible to believe him. 

For a brief moment, your eyes scan the room and your body freezes for a split second when your eyes meet Taehyung’s. He’s so fucking gorgeous. The type of gorgeous that takes your breath away. Well, he’s always handsome but tonight, he’s even more than usual. 

His hair is fully pushed back, except for a strand of hair falling on his face. It kind of makes him look like a bad boy. However, he’s a nice bad boy which is ironic. He’s wearing a flannel blue shirt with a large black pair of jeans. It’s simple but anything simple looks great on him. 

You both glance at each other for a moment, it feels like there’s nobody else but you. Since yesterday, things have been different between you. The way you look at each other is different, the way you act around each other has changed. Nothing is awkward. It’s simply different but it’s a different that feels good. However, it leaves you wondering why your encounter changed this time around. What caused this change? 

After what felt like an eternity, Taehyung joins you.

“How’s the night going?” He asks you. 

Your eyes glance at him. “So far, it’s going well,” you answer with a smile. 

Taehyung smiles back at you. “I’m glad we’re here together tonight,” he says. “I was actually looking forward to seeing you because it’s been a while.” 

Your best friend is sometimes sad to not be able to see as much as he’d like to. For sure, he’s content with being a footballer/soccer player but this life has drifted you apart. By some miracle, you managed to keep the friendship which he’s very happy with. However, he barely sees you in a year. He tries to always make it to your birthday and make sure you get to celebrate his birthday and new year together. 

However, he wishes he could be with you forever. 

This separation sometimes breaks his heart because he spent all his childhood and teenage years with you, and now, you barely see each other. Of course, you text and call each other daily but it isn’t the same.

As he says those words, you can feel the heat taking over your face. Hearing those words makes you feel something in your stomach, you can’t quite explain it but it definitely makes you feel good and loved. 

“Me too,” you simply reply. 

Taehyung offers you a genuine smile before taking a sip of the drink he’s holding. Probably a cocktail that he prepared. For a little while, you talk about random things that happened in your life for the past months. The two of you enjoy this moment, it warms both of your hearts to hear what has been going on. 

Taehyung can’t help but love the way you smile as you explain an event that occurred at work. The way your face lights up when you talk about work makes it obvious to him that you adore what you do for a living. He can’t help but find you absolutely stunning tonight. You’re wearing a blue pair of jeans with a floral top. It fits you perfectly. Well, he believes that everything fits you perfectly. 

After a while, you split as you start talking with other friends around you. Throughout the night, you keep drinking some cocktails prepared specifically for the party. Well, some bartenders were hired for the event so you can ask whatever you want and they’ll make it. 

You head to the little bar, joining Jungkook who’s already ordering something. 

“Hi again,” you say as you reach him. 

His head turns to the left, a smile growing on his face when he sees you. 

“Hi again,” he replies. 

Jungkook is a very good-looking man. He emanates a strong confidence which causes everyone to constantly look at him. For sure, you believe that this comes with being a singer. A singer constantly performs in front of people, gives interviews, signs autographs, takes pictures with fans, and many other things. For you, a singer needs to be comfortable in their shoes otherwise things can be hard, especially for the attention they get. It’s hard to imagine how Jungkook can handle all that. Well, you wonder the same with Tae because, at the end of the day, all of that applies to him as well. 

“Has someone ever told you how pretty you are?” he asks with evident seriousness. “I constantly wonder how Tae hasn’t already fallen for you.” 

Your cheeks instantly turn red. This is clearly and certainly unexpected. You never imagined that he considered you as pretty. Usually, famous people only find super thin and fit women as pretty, and to be honest, you’re none of both. But it actually flatters you that such a handsome man finds you pretty.

Since he caught you off guard, you don’t even know what to reply. “Tae is my best friend.” 

As soon as those words leave your lips, you actually feel ridiculous. Tae is your best friend but that doesn’t change the fact that you developed feelings for him. However, you’re convinced that he doesn’t feel the same about you. 

“Honestly, if you were my best friend, I would have already tried to seduce you,” he tells you. “Being best friends doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t fall for each other.” 

He’s totally right, and you absolutely know it. 

“You’re not wrong,” you reply. 

A smile appears on his face. He’s stunning when he smiles. As you glance at him for a little while, you realize that you clearly understand why he has many girls at his feet. He’s very talented and attractive. No wonder that most of the girls scream like crazy when they see him. 

“And to answer your first question, not many people have said that to me,” you say. 

“Well, they clearly are blind,” he teasingly says. 

A little laugh escapes your lips. Honestly, if this fantastic singer is going to flirt with you tonight, you’ll do the same. It’s not every day that someone like Jungkook flirts with you. 

From afar, Taehyung watches the two of you discuss. It’s more than obvious that his friend, Jungkook is flirting with you. What he hates watching is you flirting back with him. From the way you laugh at his silly jokes to the way you touch him makes him want to throw up. Never in his life did he think he’d have to watch you flirt. 

But he can’t do anything. You’re not his. He’s just your best friend. More than anyone else, you deserve happiness. He can’t stop what is starting to happen between you and Jungkook. If you like each other, what can he concretely do? He takes a sip of his drink. For a moment, he simply looks at the two of you openly flirting together. He wishes that this would have not happened in front of him. It makes him jealous, and he doesn’t like that feeling. It makes him feel vulnerable. 

Right at that moment, Jungkook looks at him with a devious smile. Tae knows right there and then that he’s doing this on purpose. But why? For sure, he does that because he has an idea in his mind. Tae talks again with the guy next to him about football/soccer. It occupies his mind and it also doesn’t tempt him to glance at you. 

After a while, Jungkook takes a seat next to him. He smiles like an idiot, Tae only wants to slap him when he smiles like that. 

“You should tell her you like her,” he says with still that silly smile. 

“I don’t see what you’re talking about,” Tae replies with his cheeks turning red. 

“Yes, you know,” he instantly answers. “It’s written all over your face that you fell for her.” 

Tae takes a sip to try to cool down his body’s temperature. 

“I noticed it a while ago,” he starts saying. “You’re quite subtle. Being her best friend is the excuse you use to hide your true feelings. But slowly, I realized the way your face lit up when you talked about her. It was obvious you liked her more than a friend,” Jungkook explains. “I used this party to test the waters by flirting with her and your face confirmed it all.” 

The footballer looks at his friend in disbelief. It’s unbelievable that his friend did that to simply confirm a theory. But he’s also surprised that he noticed he has feelings for you. For years, he thought he was discreet but it looks like he wasn’t after all. If Jungkook noticed it, surely other people would too. 

“By the way, I totally get why you fell in love with her. Beyond being petty, she has a wonderful soul,” Jungkook adds. “But don’t waste more time. Go talk to her.” 

Tae shakes his head. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I care too much about her and I don’t want to lose her.” 

“Maybe you won’t lose her,” his friend says. “Maybe the feelings are mutual, maybe she loves you too.” 

Taehyung doesn’t believe that. He’s truly convinced that you only see him as a very good friend and nothing more. Plus, he isn’t going to say anything because he’s scared to be heartbroken. He wouldn’t be able to handle that and still be your friend. And he’s sure that you would refuse to remain friends.  

“I’m sorry, JK but I’m not going to do that,” he replies before leaving his friend alone. 

Tae would rather see you falling in love with someone else than lose you forever. That’s the naked truth. He would prefer to be jealous than heartbroken. 

As the night goes on, Taehyung avoids you. The discussion he had with Jungkook ⏤ and seeing you flirting with him ⏤ disturbed him. He knows that if he’s around you, he won’t be able to act like nothing happened. That he won’t be able to contain his jealousy. 

The entire night you’re confused about why your best friend isn’t with you. It actually breaks your heart. You keep wondering if you did something wrong. The only thing that crosses your mind is the little flirting session with Jungkook. You wonder if he’s angry that his friend dared to get close to you. That’s the only reason you can think of. It’s the only thing that makes sense. 

Taehyung keeps eyeing you from afar. It’s hard to be far from you when you’re in the same room. All he wants is to be next to you but he can’t. So he keeps on drinking and you do the same. By the time it’s 23:59, you’re both just completely drunk. 

“10, 9, 8,” everybody shouts as you watch the countdown on tv. 

You slowly get closer to Taehyung. 

“7, 6, 5,” he looks for you in the room. 

“4, 3, 2,” your eyes meet. 

“1, 0,” your hearts beat fast. 

“Happy new year!” everybody screams with joy. 

You hug the person next to you and wish her a very happy new year. She does the same with a bright smile on her face. You keep doing that with friends while exchanging cheek kisses. It makes you happy to be starting the new year with them and their best wishes. You can feel that this year will be fantastic. You can’t explain how but you feel it deep inside you. It’s an intuition. 

Slowly but surely, you get closer to Taehyung. There is no other person in this room with whom you’d like to hug, kiss, and wish a very happy new year. He’s the only person that has ever mattered in your life. 

Once you’re face to face, you simply stare at each other. Your heart is racing inside your chest, your body is completely frozen, and your mind can’t think straight. Being in front of him after what felt like a crazy night is strange. 

You take a step forward, your faces are quite close, and a smile appears on both your faces. 

“Happy new year, Tae,” you finally say. 

His smile grows bigger and even gets brighter. It almost looks like he’s shining. He gets closer to you in order to hug you but as he takes a step closer, his face gets closer to yours. For a split second, you can see his eyes going down on your lips which causes your heart to hammer even more in your chest. 

Your eyes are lost in his, your breathing getting heavier, and the room’s temperature increasing insanely. You can feel his hot breath on your face, his strong scent invades all your senses. Right now, the crowd in the room disappears completely. There’s only you and him. 

All you want to do right now is to kiss him desperately. You want to feel his lips on yours. You want to taste his lips. You want to get lost in his lips. For years, you wondered what it’d feel like to kiss him, and at this exact moment, you sense like you’re about to find it out. 

Taehyung sees your eyes looking down at his lips which makes him feel like he’s won. Jungkook’s words echo in his head. ‘Maybe she loves you too.’ Maybe Jungkook was right. By the way you’re looking at him, he’d say that his friend was indeed right. You wouldn’t be looking at him with an evident desire to kiss him written all over your face if you were considering him as a friend. This wouldn’t be happening if he was only your friend. 

A strong warmth invades his heart as he knows that he can do what he’s been dying to do for years. He’s still hesitant though. He’s not sure if he can do it. 

“Happy new year to you too, yn,” he whispers while his face gets even closer to yours. “I wish you all the best for this new year.” 

Shivers run down your spine. His eyes stare deep into yours and it makes you feel like he senses what you deeply crave right now. 

Once he says those words, his mouth meets yours. Even though you want this, it catches you by surprise so it takes you a hot second to kiss him back. The kiss is shy at first, as if you’re both scared but it slowly turns into a desperate and fervent one. One of his hands goes to the back of your neck while the other one goes to your hips. He pushes your body closer to his. Your hands cup his face while you intensely kiss each other. 

This feels like heaven for you two. This kiss has been wanted for years, but none of you dared to do it, too scared to ruin the friendship. Now that this is happening you’re not even afraid to lose each other. However, you wonder if this is only occurring because you’re both completely wasted. 

You open your mouth, giving him free access to your mouth. His tongue doesn’t hesitate one second to find yours. Gently, your tongues meet and it feels wonderful. Inside of your lower belly, thousands of butterflies are freed. Never have you thought that this would’ve happened one day. 

When you’re both out of breath, you break the kiss and rest your foreheads against the other. For a moment, you simply look at each other while you catch your breath. Taehyung’s fingers softly caress your face and you close your eyes to savour this moment. 

“This is a great way to start the year,” your best friend murmurs. 

You open your eyes to look at him. He’s so beautiful, he looks like a dream. This all sounds like a dream but it’s really taking place. You really kissed him. This isn’t something coming out of your imagination. This is real. 

This time you’re the one who kisses him. You don’t want this to ever stop, you want to keep kissing him until your body can’t handle it anymore. A soft moan leaves his mouth when your lips meet. He also wants to keep doing this forever. He doesn’t know if you’ll both remember this tomorrow because you’re drunk so he wants to enjoy every second of it. 

Taehyung teasingly bites your lower lip which causes a moan to escape your mouth. A devious smirk appears on his face but he gets back to kissing you fervently. This kiss seems to slowly evolve into something more. It’s evident that you want more. You can feel it in the way his tongue plays with yours, in the way your hands move in his body, and in the way his hands hold you tight against his body. You obviously want to have sex together. This could stop you but it doesn’t. You desperately crave this. 

He breaks the kiss, it wouldn’t be appropriate to keep doing this in the middle of this crowded room. 

“Do you want to go to my place?” he nervously asks. 

Right there, when he dares to ask this, you realize the extent of the situation. You kissed your best friend, and there’s no doubt that you’re not going to his place to play cards. If you accept his proposal, you’ll get laid. Would your friendship resist this? Would you even remain friends? Would this mean that you’re together now? 

Those questions are quickly erased from your mind. You’ve already ruined the friendship by kissing each other. Going a bit further won’t change that. And honestly, right now, you don’t want to think about what will happen tomorrow. 

“Yes,” you nod. 

Your best friend smiles before grabbing your hand and taking you out of this place. He guides you to the parking lot where his car is. It’s an underground parking lot and there’s absolutely nobody except you and Taehyung. You quickly reach his car, a brand new BMW X1. It’s such a wonderful car. You don’t know much about cars, you just look at them from the outside and judge them. You heard many good things about the brand BMW so you’re convinced it’s a good car. 

He opens the car door for you before making your way inside the car. The smell of leather invades your senses. Weirdly, it’s a smell that you’ve always liked. The smell of a brand-new car always brings you back to a childhood memory, a very good one. So, you always like this smell. Taehyung looks at you with marvel. He’s aware of this liking of yours and he knows what it is related to. He finds you adorable. 

Quickly, he starts the car and drives like a crazy to reach his place as soon as possible. He definitely doesn’t want to waste time. All he wants right now is to have his lips on yours and fuck you until there’s no tomorrow.   

As soon as you arrive at his place, the two of you leave the car in a hurry. In less than a minute, you enter your place, take your shoes and coats off, and run to his massive bedroom. You know his place by heart as you’ve come a hundred times. It’s quite a wonderful and impressive house but right now, you don’t really have the time to take a proper look at his place. 

Taehyung doesn’t waste a second before kissing you passionately. Damn, he is desperate to feel your lips against his. It’s all he wanted to do during the car ride. Actually, he is simply completely desperate for you. After all, he’s been having a crush on you for years. 

“I desperately want you, yn,” he whispers against your lips with his deep voice. 

You clench your tights together, his raspy voice sending shivers down your spine, but his voice is so low that you barely hear his words. However, you don’t need to hear him say it to know it, it’s clearly written all over his face. 

“And I’m desperate for you, Tae,” you reply. 

The football/soccer player presses his lips against yours once again but this time, he’s kissing you with a fervent passion. Having his lips on yours feels like a dream, it almost feels like this isn’t happening. But damn, this is even better than anything you dreamed. 

Slowly, the two of you walk closer to the bed before sliding onto it, now finding yourself lying on the bed with his toned figure hovering over you. His toned body is still something you’re trying to adjust. Taehyung used to have a frail body but since he became a professional player, his body has completely changed. He got even hotter with time. 

Never once do you break the kiss, loving the feeling of your tongues sensually battling in your mouth. A small whimper escapes your throat as his hands move down to your waist. He softly caresses you before his hands pull up your floral top to finally touch your skin. His long fingers brush on your stomach, the cold feeling of them making you moan.     

“Your skin is so soft,” he whispers on your lips while his eyes lock with yours. 

He doesn’t let you answer and his teeth grab your lower lip, snatching a moan out of you. Haltingly, his right hand descends on your body, goosebumps rising on your body as his fingers get closer to your core. His long fingers push your pants and underwear down your legs before throwing them onto the floor.

As slowly and carefully as possible, they swipe along your slit, making you gasp at the contact. A moan escapes your mouth, and Taehyung has to admit this is a sound that he adores. For sure, this is something that he’ll get to hear often tonight, and fuck, he can’t wait to make you moan even more. 

At first, your crush abuses your clit with his thumb in order to get you wet before he inserts his fingers inside you to stretch you open. The feeling of his cold thumb circling on your clit feels marvelous, Taehyung is doing wonders to your body. 

“I’m gonna add a finger,” he warns you.    

The man wastes no time before dipping one finger into your heat, preparing you for what is coming. His eyes watch as your face contorts with delight while his finger slowly pumps in and out of you. It feels divine to have his finger inside you. It brushes against all the right spots inside you, this already feels like heaven on earth.    

“Fuck, you’re already so wet, butterfly,” he says to you. 

Hearing the nickname sends shivers down your spine. From time to time, Tae gives you cute nicknames and you actually love that. It sometimes makes you feel like your romantic feelings are reciprocated. 

For a little while, he just stretches you open with one finger. The man has no rush in giving you pleasure but he knows that in the end, all this preparation will give you the best orgasm of your life.    

“I’m going to add a second finger,” he informs you. 

The fact that he lets you know what he’s about to do melts your heart. Taehyung is such a gentleman even when he gets all dirty. At least you can prepare yourself for whatever size his cock is. Hopefully, it’s not a monster. Based on what you can see thanks to his pants, he’s not small but at the same time, he doesn’t look too big. 

Once his second finger slips inside you, you spread your legs a bit more. Small gasps of delight leave your lips as he pleases you with only two fingers. The room around you starts to get extremely hot, your heart starts to pound faster and harder in your chest, and the pleasure starts to build within you. Taehyung smiles as he feels his fingers getting covered with your wetness.  

“Fuck, butterfly,” he mumbles, “you’re getting so wet.” 

His fingers slowly move completely out of your pussy before sliding them in again with ease. Another moan leaves your mouth, closing your eyes to enjoy the feeling of his fingers filling you up. He repeats the action of moving his fingers out but this time, he brings his fingers to his mouth to taste your sweet and sticky juices. As he does so, you take a moment to admire his strong arms. Something that always turns you on when looking at his arms is how veiny they are. 

Your eyes never leave him, a moan leaving your mouth as he twirls his tongue around his fingers. The sight is so damn erotic, and it makes you grow wetter. Taehyung places himself in between your legs, spreading them even more to get a proper view of your cunt. You’re prettier than in his wildest dreams. He can’t wait to be fully inside you and to feel your velvety walls around him. That thought alone almost makes him groan. 

The two of you are already completely consumed by pleasure. As this is something you both desired for a long time, it makes everything feel more intense. You’re simply so needy for each other. 

He licks his lips, taking in the amazing view he has before him. This sight alone turns him on even more. 

“You’re so wonderful, butterfly,” he runs his thumb over his lower lip. 

Your friend takes his shirt off, exposing his upper body to your very hungry eyes. Without an ounce of shame, your eyes wander on his toned chest and arms. He’s so fucking hot. It’s not the first time you’ve seen him shirtless. You’ve already seen him a couple of times shirtless. However, it’s different this time. He’s shirtless because you’re about to be fucked by this god. 

Taehyung leans closer to you before pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. When he stands again, he pushes again two fingers inside your core, making you moan at the feeling of his wet fingers inside your velvety walls. For a little moment, he just enjoys torturing you at a slow pace with his two fingers covered in your wetness. Nothing can compare to the excitement he feels when he sees you contorting with delight. A delight that he is causing with his fingers. That swells his heart in a way he can’t even explain. 

He’s pleasuring the woman he always loved. 

“Ready for a third finger?” he asks. 

You nod, knowing perfectly that you need that third finger to stretch your core even more. Your body and mind can even picture how it will feel. However, slowly but surely, you’re getting desperate to have his dick buried deep inside you. After your contentment, he curls a third finger into you, and damn, you love it so much. Your head rolls back, loving every second of Taehyung’s torture on you but as you do so, you expose your neck to his burning eyes. Without any hesitation, his mouth finds your neck. 

Having his fingers thrusting faster, and his tongue and teeth abusing your neck makes you moan more and more. Without any warning, the wave of pleasure fiercely washes over you, Taehyung’s name rolling out of your tongue while he keeps abusing your neck and core. You close your eyes to enjoy the feeling that this orgasm generates. 

“Wow,” you barely manage to say. 

This is the first orgasm Taehyung offered you. It tastes tremendously wonderful, and you only want more. Your friend only stops torturing you when you’ve come down for your high. His fingers are fully covered with your arousal by now, and he carefully pushes them out of you to take a proper look at them. You gasp at the feeling of emptiness.

“Wow, it was so intense,” you finally say as you open your eyes. 

You’re greeted with your friend licking his fingers to taste you. He’s standing tall between your legs with his long fingers in his mouth. That’s a very hot and intense vision, and you never thought you needed it before. This man is turning you on like crazy! You could keep looking at this forever. 

“And it’s only the beginning, butterfly,” Taehyung replies with a little smirk appearing on his face. 

“You’re such a tease,” you reply before giving him a gentle slap on his chest. 

A little laugh escapes his lips. 

“It’s nothing new,” he mumbles as he gets closer to you. “I’ve always teased you,” he whispers in your ear. 

Fuck, you’re not sure you’ll be able to survive this night. It’s only the beginning and you’re already dead. Before you can comprehend what is going on, the man on top of you fully removes your top and wastes no time in removing your bra. Feeling his fingers brushing against your skin sends shivers all over your body. Your eyes only stare deep in his lusty gaze. 

Your heart is rapidly hammering in your chest, ready to burst at any second. Sharing such an intimate moment with him is something you’ve been dreaming of for years, and you’ve been desiring it more than you can even express. However, having it actually happen is quite something. As your eyes keep watching him, you take in every single detail of his sweet face. 

He has a pronounced jaw which is part of his charm. He has a little mole on his nose which makes him cute. His dark hair is falling on his face which makes him even more handsome. His deep dark eyes are looking at you with evident desire which turns you on. He has heart-shaped lips which you’ve desired to kiss for years. 

This all feels unreal.   

Quickly, the lust written all over his face turns into worry. His brows furrow, and you can’t resist the urge to touch the spot right in between his brows. Taehyung shivers when he senses your fingers before closing his eyes for a brief moment. This moment right here is the most intimate you both ever experienced in your lives. You’ve had partners in the past and you loved them, but nothing compares to this feeling. 

The love you share has grown over the years and it only got stronger over time. This inevitable moment is the simple proof of your deep and shared love. Yes, it’s dirty, but it’s filled with true love. It’s evident that you’re soulmates. True soulmates. 

Taehyung opens his eyes to be greeted by the prettiest woman he has ever seen. He could do this eternally. Seeing you every day would be his greatest pleasure. Being able to touch you every single day would be his biggest dream. Being around you is and will forever be his home. You’re the person that has ever been able to make him feel at home. It has never been about a place. It has always been about a person. 

Without hesitation, you both kiss each other with tenderness and passion. You’re kissing each other like it’s the last time you’ll do it. And god, you indescribably love it. Your hands instantly find their way to his fluffy hair, softly playing with it as you kiss him like there’s no tomorrow. His tongue slowly finds yours to share an erotic dance. Little moans leave both your lips. Deep down in your body, you can feel the pleasure growing inside you. This kiss wakes up every single fiber of your body.  

“Yn,” Taehyung whispers against your lips. 

Slowly, your eyes look up at him. His eyes are closed so you can’t see them but you smile because you can’t help but find him adorable while he kisses you. You close your eyes to savor this moment. You break the kiss to catch your breath. Taehyung’s eyes quickly scan you before his lips get close to your ear.      

“You’re a fucking dream, butterfly,” he whispers with a deep voice before he nibbles your ear which makes you moan. 

It’s so disconcerting how he can switch from sweet to filthy in a second. 

“And you’re my fucking dream, Taetae,” you reply before pressing a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

A smile spreads across his face while he buries it in the hollow of your neck. You can feel his smile against your lips and you can’t help but hold him tight against you. After a little while, he presses kisses on your neck. Little moans escape your lips as he keeps leaving a trail of kisses from your neck to your jaw. Rapidly, he reaches your lips and presses a kiss on them. 

Taehyung stands back again to take his pants and underwear off. But before he can unzip his pants, he’s taken aback by your question. 

“So we’re going to make babies?” you softly ask while looking at him. 

Taehyung is no stranger to your shyness when it comes to sexuality. He has always spoken very openly about his sexual activities. Not with you of course because he’s a crush on you and it feels weird to be talking about having sex with someone to the girl he loves. However, he isn’t embarrassed to sometimes bring up the topic. He has already said that he adores blowjobs, especially if they are done very well. Or that he loves giving pleasure to his partner. Whenever he talks about it, you instantly turn red. He has always found you incredibly adorable. 

On top of turning red, you also don’t use harsh words. For example, you don’t say “cock” or “dick” out loud. Instead, you’ll say ‘pipi’, standing for penis. You’ll say “naughty time” instead of “having sex”. Sometimes, he even likes to tease you because you’re the cutest person ever when you get shy. He’s aware that you’ve had sex and the simple thought of you doing it with someone else makes him angry. But even though you’ve had sex, you still get very shy when the topic is brought up. Which honestly is very ironic. 

“Well, if by making babies, you mean having sex,” he starts saying. “I’ll say yes, butterfly.” 

Butterfly is a nickname that comes from when you were kids. Most of the time, you’d be the kind of girl running after butterflies in the park. Taehyung would run with you of course but you’d be the first to do it. Jokingly, he started calling you ‘butterfly’ but it stayed. But after he started dating his first girlfriend, he stopped giving you that nickname. You always thought she was the one who asked him to stop calling you like that, but it wasn’t. 

He stopped doing it because, with time, that nickname meant that he loved you. He was never able to give a simple cute nickname to any of his girlfriends. It was impossible for him. Giving you a nickname was the proof that he loved you more than a friend should. He had to hide his feelings so that meant stopping calling you ‘butterfly’. However, sometimes, he still does it, especially when he gets tipsy.  

But tonight, he has said the nickname more than he has done over the last few years. And it gives you butterflies. 

Taehyung slowly undresses himself in front of you, and you enjoy the view. He’s incredibly handsome. You don’t even understand how you got here with your best friend. You bite your lower lip as you admire him undressing himself. That’s hot. 

When he’s fully naked, your eyes inevitably look down at his manhood. It’s quite something. It’s a bit long but not too long as well. It’s a reasonable length. On top of that, it’s thick. You’d say it’s a reasonable thickness but that wouldn’t be quite right. Honestly, his dick isn’t a monster, but it’s not a baby too. Most of your previous partners had smaller dicks. Nonetheless, he’s impressive, and you can’t wait to have him deep inside you.  

“Are you ready, yn?” you nod, ready to be completely mind-blown by this man you desperately love. 

Taehyung holds his hard member before stroking it a few times, your hands snail down to his abs before slowly moving up. He bends down to press a kiss on your lips before he slowly buries his cock inside your soaked core, stretching your velvety walls. Both of you moan as he slowly pushes his thick cock inside you. Fuck, it feels wonderful. 

Since the beginning of the night, you’ve been craving this and you’re both enjoying this. 

Once he’s deep inside you, his hips stay still to give you the time to adjust. His lips press a gentle kiss since he adores doing it. For a little moment, your mind only focuses on him and his lips. Nothing else. When he breaks the kiss, your walls clench around his thick member, making him groan. 

“Don’t torture me, butterly,” he begs, his eyes locked on yours. 

“Sorry,” you apologize. “It wasn’t made on purpose, Tae,” you reply. 

His lips press another sweet kiss on your lips, but very quickly, it turns into a fervent kiss. As you’re kissing, he slowly moves inside you. It’s very subtle but you definitely feel it. When you break the kiss, you give him a small slap on his ass. 

“Whenever you want, you can move,” you whisper against his lips.   

A giggle leaves his mouth after the small slap on his ass. He’s actually very amazed, he never imagined you’d ever slap his ass one day. In all honesty, he’s surprised in a good way. 

Taehyung slowly pushes back, leaving only the tip of his cock inside you. His large hands find their way to your waist, caressing your soft skin while his eyes filled with lust glance into yours. He moves again his dick inside you, filling you up to the brim. It’s euphoric to have him completely inside you again.

“So fucking good,” you mumble as your eyes roll back. 

A smile arises on his face, happy to be able to give you pleasure with just that but well, he’s enjoying it just as much. Once he’s completely inside you, he doesn't move for a little while, hovering over you and watching you with enchantment. His eyes glance down at your body. It’s the first time he’s seen you fully naked, and you’re just mesmerizing. He wants to keep looking at you to engrave in his mind how wonderful you are. 

He starts to thrust into you at a slow pace at first. The movements of his hips are very sensual and slow, the room getting filled with the sound of his hips hitting softly yours. There isn’t any urge in Taehyung’s hips movements, all he focuses on is to provide you pleasure. His eyes keep going down on your body, and he groans when he watches himself buried deep inside you. 

“Your cunt takes me so fucking well, butterfly,” he mumbles.  

You close your eyes, completely enjoying the feeling of having him fully inside you. Never once do the thrusts become brutal and rough, they are deep and slow, making you moan a lot. It’s extremely sensual, and it definitely matches how you envisioned Taehyung in bed. The way he’s fucking you is euphoric. You only crave more and more. 

The bed under you squeaks, the headboard hits the wall just behind you while your friend simply makes love to you, or as you’d say, he simply makes babies with you. He leans down to press a sloppy kiss on your lips, your hands finding their way to his neck and hair. Your nails scratch the skin of his neck and shoulders, making him groan against your lips. 

The man over you decides to stop moving, torturing you just a bit. “Don’t stop, Tae,” you beg. 

His lips press another kiss on your lips. “Your wishes are my command, yn,” he says before biting your lower lip.  

Taehyung pushes his cock back before thrusting into you very slowly and deeply with both hands on your hips, pulling you back to meet his thrusts. The slick sound of your pussy soaking his cock as well as your moans fill the room. 

“Damn,” you gasp while he keeps torturing you at a slow pace, “you feel so good.”

You’re completely drunk in the feeling of his cock filling you up, his hips hitting against yours with every thrust he makes. This all causes sparks of pleasure to shoot throughout your body, your arousal dripping from your core and creaming his cock. Taehyung smirks as he notices the sticky mess you’re causing.  

His cock is buried deep inside you, making wonders inside you, and causing you to moan even louder with each thrust. Every time he pushes his hips back, he watches with delight the way his cock is completely covered with your arousal. Nothing drives him crazier than seeing this, you can see it in his eyes. 

“You’re so fucking wet, butterfly,” he hisses before biting his lower lip. His hands press harder into your skin when he feels your walls tighten around him, “and making such a mess on my cock.” 

“I’m only wet because of you,” you first say, “you’ve been torturing me since the beginning.”

Taehyung smiles before bending down to press a sloppy kiss on your lips while his thrusts slow down. You didn’t think it was possible to go any slower than the pace he’s going but apparently, he can do it. A desperate whine gushes from you, a sound that he instantly swallows. 

His hands go up on your body, grabbing your breasts and squeezing them to make you moan with desire before his fingers start playing with your nipples. Moans flood out of your mouth as your friend keeps torturing your body. 

“Damn, Tae,” you whine, “this feels so good.” 

His thrusts return to get a little faster. His fingers never stop abusing your way too sensitive nipples. Gradually, his thrusts are faster and deeper, causing moans to fall out of your mouth. Your walls suck his cock as he slams his hips into you with more force. His fingers keep playing with your very sensitive nipples, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.  

His eyes look at you, contorting with pleasure as it slowly builds within you. Your moans are getting louder, you don’t even try to hold them back or to stifle them. Luckily, he isn’t living in an apartment because you’re sure all the neighbors would hear you. However, you’re also convinced that you aren’t the only one being fucked tonight. It’s the New Year, everybody is celebrating it, and some in a very nasty way. Just like you. 

His hands that are on your hips can feel the way your body quivers with each thrust. The way he’s torturing your body is only making you lose yourself further. You’re already so close to your orgasm that you already know for sure that you’ll come soon.   

“Fuck,” he groans when he feels the warmth of your walls wrapping tighter around him. “Your cunt is clenching so hard.” 

The sweat is dampening his body, sticking some rebellious strands of hair to his face. Taehyung covered in sweat is a vision that can easily make you come undone. He’s so hot when he starts sweating. No wonder your mind easily gets lost when you see him playing football/soccer. 

“You’re so damn hot,” you say as your hands wander on his neck and hair. 

A smile spreads across his face as you compliment him, but he decides not to stop torturing you simply because you’re flattering him. His fingers pinch your nipples harder, making the wave of pleasure grow bigger inside you and making you cream his dick even more.

“Gonna come, Tae,” you tell him when you feel that all your emotions are overwhelming you. 

Taehyung feels his cock twitching inside of you at your words, a low groan rumbling in his throat. One of his hands slowly moves down on your body, passing your stomach, and landing on your throbbing clit. His fingers rub your sensitive spot as his cock keeps thrusting into you at a slow pace.  

“Beg for it, butterfly,” he says. 

His fingers show no mercy on your clit, and you’re not even sure if you’ll be able to beg for anything before coming.  

“Please, Tae,” you can’t even form a proper sentence with the way he’s torturing you. 

You’re not even sure that you’ll be able to recover from this moment. This is just hot with the slow and sensual pace of his thrusts, and the way his fingers torture your body. This is for sure a wonderful way to start the new year.  

“Tell me, butterfly,” he teases you with a smirk on his face. 

“Let me come,” his smirk grows bigger on his face, delighted to have you begging him to come. 

The wave of pleasure inside you is growing exponentially, almost becoming too overwhelming. You’re moaning like a mess, but at this stage, you couldn’t care less.    

“Do it, butterfly,” he whispers, “come for me.” 

Those words are what you need to hear for your orgasm to hit you fiercely. You come hard around him, your arousal covering completely his cock and your walls squeezing him over and over again. While you’re completely euphoric from your orgasm, he speeds up the pace of his hips slamming into you, chasing his own high. Breathy whines escape his pretty lips as he looks down at the mess you made on his cock. His eyes are completely hypnotized where your bodies meet. 

Desperate moans leave his mouth when his orgasm hits him hard. He fully explodes inside you, painting your walls white with his semen. His eyes roll back with pleasure as his body tenses up and releases his load. Loud cries of euphoria escape his lips as he’s high from his orgasm. 

He collapses next to you, both of your bodies covered in sweat after this intense sex session. After a little while, he pushes you against his body to hold you tight. He covers your bodies with a blanket. This warmth together with the alcohol and the steamy sex session makes you fall asleep in no time. Taehyung presses a gentle kiss on your head. 

“I love you, butterfly,” are the last words you hear before falling into Morpheus’ arms.

JANUARY 7, 2022

The past seven days have been filled with memories of the new year’s night. You can’t stop thinking about the way he passionately kissed you, the way his hands were on you, the way he touched you, and most importantly, the way he fucked you. Honestly, it was the best sex you ever had, and gosh, you’d like to do it again. But let’s be honest, he’s been your best friend for years. Yes, you’ve had a crush on him but you don’t wish to lose him and his friendship that is so important to you. 

So for you, this was a simple one-night stand. 

For you, it’s preferable to keep living in your delulu world and go back to having a crush on him instead of actually trying to build a romantic relationship. You’re too scared of what could happen. You’re afraid of the unknown. You’re simply fearful of losing him. You can’t picture a world without him by your side. He’s your best friend. 

Yesterday, he texted you, asking if you could meet today to discuss. No need to be a genius to understand that he wants to talk about that famous night. Especially since you haven’t talked at all since that night, not even by text messages. Weeks ago, it would have crushed you to not talk to him for a week but since that incident, you need some space. 

Without any surprise, he asked if you could meet at his place. The same place where you fucked. But it’s understandable. He has done everything to protect you from the public eye so it wouldn’t make sense now to have a serious discussion where anyone can see and recognize him. 

So now, you’re standing in front of his house. Just being here brings you back once more to that night. For a brief moment, you close your eyes to savor those memories. They taste good, and deep down, you know that you’d like to go back to that moment. You’d like to have Taehyung in between your legs, fucking you like there’s no tomorrow. 

You knock at the door with shaky hands. You don’t know what to expect from this conversation. The only thing you truly care about is to keep him and his friendship in your life. The door is opened by your friend who invites you in. Your heart starts beating at an insane pace. The image of him licking his fingers instantly crosses your mind, and god, that’s hot.  

Taehyung nicely asks if you desire to drink or eat something but you politely decline. You don’t know what to do or say so for a brief moment, you awkwardly stand there at the main entrance. 

“Let’s move to the living room,” he first says. “If you want, of course.” 

Your best friend notices how awkward you feel. It kind of breaks his heart because things have never been like this before. Nevertheless, he understands. After all, you had sex together. Friends don’t do that, otherwise, they aren’t friends. It leaves him wondering now what you are. Are you still friends? Are you more than friends? 

“Fine,” you reply. 

Taehyung lets you walk in front of him as the gentleman that he is. Obviously, his eyes wander a tiny bit on your ass. An ass that he finds wonderful. He definitely wants to smash it, but he can’t. That would be completely inappropriate. He gathers himself as this is not the right moment to drool over you. You need to talk about the new year’s night. 

You both take seats on two different armchairs, sitting face to face. Even though you always loved to be next to each other, this time around is different. A little space is needed, especially if you want to talk. The two of you acknowledge that the new year’s night is the only thing you can probably think of. So being next to each other will only make that night happen all over again. 

Taehyung takes a deep breath before talking. “Thanks for coming, yn,” he offers you a little smile. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Tae,” you answer. “We need to talk about what happened so it’s normal.” 

He nods. Quite frankly, he’s very nervous. Things are different between you and he feels that this conversation can forever alter your relationship. Or you remain friends, or you take it to the next level. There’s also the possibility that it becomes too hard for him to simply remain friends with you and that he takes some distance from you. He wouldn’t want to reach that point, and he believes it will never happen. But we never know what tomorrow is made of. 

“Well, I fully want to be honest with you,” he starts saying, and you nod. “I’ve been loving you for years now, but loving in a romantic way.” 

His hands are shaking. Saying it out loud makes it real, and most importantly, now, you’re aware of how he’s been feeling for years. It’s honestly quite a big deal for him. However, after what happens, he feels like he has to be honest with you. Keeping his feelings inside won’t help. 

On the other hand, your body is completely frozen and your heart has stopped beating. Now, this is real. Your feelings have been reciprocated all those years. But now that he said those words, you don’t know how to process them. Honestly, it doesn’t really change anything because you’ve already crossed all the limits. But hearing those words warms your heart indescribably. 

“Since I found out that I had feelings for you, I decided to keep it to myself. Your friendship has more value than anything else in the world. Losing you has never been part of the equation so I kept everything for myself,” he explains. 

Now, your heart starts beating again, but this time around, it crazily hammers in your chest. It’s also making you nervous to hear those words, and you know you’ll also have to confess your feelings. Even though, you know now that they are reciprocated, it still makes you nervous.  

“Jungkook understood it by himself, and he decided to provoke me by flirting with you,” he admits. It all makes sense now for you. “I was terribly jealous so I avoided you most of the night. I didn’t want you to notice the jealousy and I believed it was better like that,” he runs his hands on his face. “But it had the opposite effect. It only drew me to you.”    

Taehyung hides his face in his hands, he doesn’t want to see your face while he confesses out loud his feelings for you. You stand up to get closer to him. You kneel in front of him before resting your hands on his legs. You place your hands on his to push them so you can see his face. 

As he’s speaking about his feelings, you realize that he’s putting himself in a vulnerable position and that you need to gather all your courage in your hands to be just as brave as he is right now. For once in your life, you have to be strong and let him know that his feelings are reciprocated. 

Since you started having feelings for him, you always pictured that you’d be the one confessing your feelings and that he’d be the one reassuring you. However, the reality is literally the opposite. The reality is that Taehyung is the boldest one. 

Nevertheless, reassuring him is also scary. 

Your best friend lets you move his hands from his face. Slowly, he opens his eyes to look at you. He’s greeted by your face trying to look at him. A face that he finds adorable. 

“So you were jealous of Jungkook?” you ask with evident tease in your voice. 

Taehyung instantly rolls his eyes. 

“It’s not funny,” he says. 

You nod before taking a serious face. 

“I was heartbroken during the new year’s eve party,” you start saying. “I was there with my best friend but he avoided me half of the night and I couldn’t understand why.” 

A part of Taehyung regrets how he acted when he was jealous, but the other doesn’t because, without that, he wouldn’t have shared such an intimate moment with you. 

“I’m sorry about that, yn,” he mumbles. 

He lets his face down but you instantly place your fingers under his chin to lift his face up. You want to look at him. You want to see his reaction when he realizes you love him back. 

“Don’t be sorry, silly,” you smile at him. “Yes, I was heartbroken but you mended my heart when you kissed me later on.” 

Taehyung stares at you in disbelief. Even though you had sex and it’s kind of the proof that you share feelings, it’s a relieve to hear you say, in a subtle way, that you love him back. 

“I also have romantic feelings for you, Tae,” you admit out loud. “It’s been the case for years. Like you, I never said anything because our friendship means the world to me. I can’t imagine a life where you’re not here. I’d rather shut my feelings down than lose you.” 

Your heart is beating faster, you can feel it on the edge of exploding. You’ve finally said what your heart has been desiring to say for years. It feels liberating. 

“And if I’m being honest, for the past few days, I’ve been preferring to think that what we had was only a one-night-stand.” Those words obviously break Taehyung’s heart. “I’m so scared to lose you, Tae,” you mumble as your voice breaks. “So so scared.”     

Now, you’re the one looking down. However, in your case, a tear starts running down your face. It’s hard to admit that for the past few days, you’ve been deeply scared to lose him because of your sex session. You wanted to pretend that nothing happened that night, but you simply can’t, especially not after Taehyung’s heartfelt confession.

“Hey, butterfly,” he says while lifting your face with his fingers under your chin. 

Your best friend grabs you into his embrace. This is a very much-needed hug, but it’s also a very comforting one. Right in his arms, you start crying. For the past seven days, you’ve been bottling up your worries to build a wall around you, but now that he has confessed his feelings and is holding you in his arms, all the pressure goes down. 

“I was so scared to lose you,” you repeat in between the tears. 

Taehyung is completely heartbroken, but he inevitably understands you. He also believed that he was going to lose you after that night. The fact that you also didn’t text or call didn’t help. Of course, you both needed space, but it also made it feel like it destroyed everything. It accentuated the fear of losing each other.       

“You’re never going to lose me, butterfly,” he whispers while holding you firmly in his arms. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

For a little while, you simply stay like that, Taehyung holding you in his arms while you cry. You remain in his arms until you calm down. He invites you to sit on his lap so you can be even closer now. He presses his forehead against yours and cleans your face with his hand. It devastates him to see you like that. He hates to see you cry. 

“I missed so much when you call me butterfly,” you admit while you’re looking into each other’s eyes. 

“I missed it too,” he says. 

Taehyung explains to you why he stopped calling you by that nickname. You can understand his reason, you would have probably done the same. You never really gave him a nickname. You always call him Tae or Taetae. Nothing really too exotic. 

“You’re the prettiest butterfly I’ve ever seen, yn,” he says. 

His face gets even closer to yours, his eyes staring deep into yours. They are searching for unsaid approval to get even closer. You know that he’s about to kiss you but he won’t do it if he sees anything in your gaze that would push him away. You simply nod, and he instantly presses his heart-shaped lips on yours. You kiss him back with the same energy. It’s a gentle and soft kiss filled with a lot of passion. Even though you kissed a million times during the new year’s night, this kiss definitely makes things real. He loves you. Your little hands move to his hair to play with it while his hand is placed on your neck to hold you close. 

It also hits him as you’re kissing that you love him back. 

Fireworks explode inside him as he realizes it. He’s never going to let you go now. 

FEBRUARY 25, 2022

Being in a relationship with Taehyung is completely different than being his best friend. A lot of things are still the same, but a lot has changed too. He kisses you every time he sees you, he teases you a lot, and most of the time, it’s sexual, he calls you butterfly all the time, and he makes love to you. 

Being honest, Taehyung is quite a master in bed. He fucks you so well, you almost beg him to never stop. Being fucked by him is like constantly being in heaven. He gives you pleasure like no one else ever did before. But it’s also not easy to be dating a football/soccer player since he’s most of the time away. As before, you asked to keep your existence a secret because you don’t want to deal with the hysterical fans and also to allow you to keep living a normal life. 

Right now, you’re in Rome with your super best friend, Mia. You’ve met her later in life, she was a colleague from your first job. You instantly clicked and she’s been one of your closest friends since then. She was extremely happy when you told her you were with Taehyung. She even said that it was about time since it was more than obvious you liked each other. 

This trip to Rome was planned months ago, and you were looking forward to it. It’s a one-week trip, but it should be enough to calmly visit this incredible and history-filled city. However, it hasn’t been going as you wished. You’ve been in the city for 2 days, and you’ve been sick to your stomach since the beginning. You’ve been throwing up constantly, and most of the time, you don’t feel well. The only reason you can think of is the chicken sandwich you ate at the airport. It was probably not well-cooked or it was already out of date. 

This morning, it’s been a nightmare. You’re in the Vatican to visit the museums but you’ve already gone like 2 times to the toilets to throw up. It’s not easy for you, but on top of that, you feel sorry for Mia. You’ve been holding her back.  

“Are you better?” she asks while you’re drinking a glass of apple juice. 

You noticed that apple juice helps to calm down the nausea. Since it’s lunchtime, you’re sitting at a table in the restaurant located in the Vatican’s museums. Your friend ordered a salad while you’re simply drinking juice. You’re not hungry at all, and if you eat, you’re sure you’ll throw up again. 

“Yeah, a bit,” you answer. You take a sip of the drink. “I’m sorry for this, Mia.”     

“Eeh, don’t worry. It’s not really your fault if you’re sick,” she answers. 

For a split second, she seems hesitant to add something else, but she finishes by saying what she’s been thinking since you arrived at Rome. 

“Could you be pregnant?” 

You almost choked with your apple juice. This is very unexpected. You’re obviously not pregnant. With Taehyung, you’ve been very careful since the beginning of the relationship. Having children right now it’s far from being a great idea. Plus, you want to enjoy being together before planning to start a family. 

However, you can understand why Mia is raising this question. Nausea is one of the first visible symptoms of pregnancy. If the roles were reversed, you’d raise the same question. 

“No, it can’t be,” you answer. “We’ve been using protection, and I’m also going to start taking the pill.” 

Even if he uses condoms, you’ve decided to start the pill. This way, the chances of getting pregnant are very low. On top of that, it’s also a safety net in case you go crazy and don’t use protection. 

“But have you had your periods lately?” 

Honestly, you noticed you didn’t have them for the past 2 months but it doesn’t worry you at all. Your periods are irregular so there are moments where you can go 2-3 months without having them. For sure, lately, they’ve been quite regular but as soon as you get stressed, they come later.  

“No, but I’m not worried,” you start saying. “For the past two months, my emotions have been all over the place,” you reply without hesitation. 

There is evident concern written all over Mia’s face, and honestly, it’s worrying you. It’s making you nervous. You’re biting the inside of your cheek as you’re mentally browsing all the times you had sex with your boyfriend. It’s still so weird to call Taehyung ‘your boyfriend’.    

“You’re sure you’ve always used protection?” she asks.  

You’re still trying to remember every single time you were intimate with Taehyung. You can’t think of a time when he didn’t use a condom. Usually, you both make silly comments or jokes when he grabs a condom. 

“Yeah,” you say with some hesitation. 

“Well, maybe, a condom got broke or something,” she suggests. 

“I’m sure it’s not the case,” you reply. 

It’s impossible that you’re pregnant. In the event that you had unprotected intercourse with Tae, you would have taken the morning-after pill. 

“Maybe you should take a test to be sure, yn,” she adds. “I’m concerned, and if it’s not that, maybe we could also go to a pharmacy or something to get something to help you out with the nausea.” 

“Okay,” you reply before continuing to drink the apple juice. 

The rest of the day, your mind keeps thinking about the conversation you had with Mia. Honestly, you’re convinced you’re not pregnant, but she managed to make you doubt it. If you’re expecting a baby, you don’t know how you’ll react and what you’ll do. 

After the visit to the museums, you head to a pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. This entire situation makes you extremely nervous even though you’re sure the result will be negative. As soon as you reach your hotel room, you lock yourself in the bathroom to take the pregnancy test. You follow the instructions, you pee on the stick’s little strip. Then you wait five minutes for the result. 

You place the test on the edge of the sink while you wash your hands. For a moment, you look at yourself in the mirror. Suddenly, the memories of your first night with Taehyung cross your mind. That famous new year’s night when you had sex for the first time with him. You were completely wasted but you still perfectly remembered that you had unprotected sex. He even ejaculated inside you. You don’t understand why you didn't think of that night when you were talking with Mia. 

“Fuck,” you whisper while you close your eyes. 

You have a period tracking app on your phone, and you remember seeing that the week of the New Year was your ovulation week. As your periods are irregular, sometimes the cycles are a bit messed up, and it happens that you ovulate at a different time. But you have the app to follow your periods since sometimes, you go months without them and it doesn’t even concern you. At least, that way, you can see how long your cycles are and when was the last time you had your periods. The ovulation week on the app is always an assumption. 

Well, now you’re a hundred percent sure that the test is positive. You had unprotected sex during your ovulation week so it’s positive without any doubt. It also explains why your emotions have been all over the place lately. It wasn’t due to the fear of losing Tae or the fact that you’re now with him. It was due to the fact that you’re creating a human. 

Your eyes look down at the test. Two clear lines appear on the stick.  

“Fuck,” you repeat as you see the result. 

You’re indeed pregnant. Pregnant with Tae’s child. 

As you’re sitting on the toilet bowl, you run your hands on your face. What are you going to do now? Are you going to keep this baby? Are you going to get an abortion? 

Having a baby is not part of your life plans for now. You just bought an apartment so you’re paying a mortgage and you’re spending money on furniture. On top of that, you just got promoted. You’re also now in a relationship with a famous football/soccer player. You’re trying to adjust yourself to all of those changes. A lot happened in a short period. And now there’s a baby on the way. That’s just too much. 

Having a baby now isn’t a good idea. 

MARCH 5, 2022

The game is almost over. 

Taehyung and his teammates have been playing for over 90 minutes. For the first time in a while, you’re present at one of your boyfriend’s games. You can’t remember the last time you came, but today, you decide to join him since you have a big announcement for him. 

It’s been a week since you found out about your pregnancy. For the past eight days, you’ve been thinking about what to do. It wasn’t easy, you spent nights crying like a baby because you’re simply lost. As you were confused, you didn’t say anything to your boyfriend. You pretended like nothing happened, but since he knows you well, he noticed something was off. 

Mia was the first person to know about your pregnancy. You cried a lot in her arms, and she’s been there for you. She can’t do much because it’s your decision but she promised to be there for you no matter what you decide. For now, she’s the only person aware of your state. 

However, eight days later, you’re still confused and you don’t know what to do. The only thing you’re sure of is that Taehyung needs to know. He’s the only one who can guide you with this pregnancy. Also, you’ve booked an appointment with your gynecologist to check everything up. It’s in two days, and you don’t want to go alone. You want to have Tae by your side, and you also want him to see his child. 

Discreetly, you make your way to the changing room of Tae’s team as you desire to surprise him. He isn’t aware of your presence, he didn’t even notice you during the game. As you’re walking, you suddenly feel two arms wrapping around your waist and pushing you back. The sweet scent of Taehyun’s perfume mixed with sweat surrounds you. A smile appears on your face, and you turn around to meet the prettiest man ever. 

“What a wonderful surprise,” Tae says with the brightest smile on his face before kissing you. 

For a split second, you kiss him back but you quickly push him back. As you do so, you take a quick look at the man you love. His black hair is dampened in sweat, making it look wet. The top of his jersey’s shirt is stuck to his chest due to the sweat. His face is fully red. Even though he stinks a bit, he looks hot as hell. You’ll gladly open your legs for him right now. 

“You’re stinky and covered in sweat,” you playfully say. 

Taehyung holds you even closer and cleans his face on your chest. You giggle as he does so. He’s unbelievable, but that’s also why you love him. You try to push him back as much as you can but he’s a lot stronger than you so your efforts are in vain. He presses a soft kiss on your neck before taking a step back to look at the woman he dearly loves.

You’re wearing a jersey of his team, more precisely, the jersey he gifted you a couple of weeks ago. It’s a black one with his name and his number engraved in the back of the shirt. With that, you’re wearing a blue pair of jeans. You look hot as hell with his jersey. He could fuck you right here. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks. 

“I want to see you,” you answer with a smile on your face. “And also talk to you.” 

Concern suddenly appears on his face. 

“Something bad happened?” 

“You should go change first,” you say without answering his question. 

Your answer only worries him even more. 

“Tell me, yn,” his tone is a bit harsh, and it catches you by surprise so you jump of scare. 

None of you is smiling now. You don’t want to tell him in the middle of a stadium’s hallway that you’re pregnant while he’s wearing his team’s jersey and covered in sweat. Even if he looks incredibly hot, this is not how and where you want to announce to him your pregnancy. 

“Please,” you first say. “Change yourself first.”

Taehyung takes a step closer to you. His face is tense, his heart is beating fast, and his mind is imagining a hundred different horrible scenarios. He's worried and the fact that you don’t say anything makes him worry even more.

“I’m not going anywhere before you tell me what’s going on,” his tone is still firm. 

You look down for a moment before looking up at him. Although you know this man very well, it actually surprises you that he insists on knowing now what you have to say. 

“We should be in a more intimate place, Tae,” you tell him. “I’m not comfortable talking with you in here.” 

He takes a deep breath before nodding. If something is going on, talking here isn’t the appropriate place, and he can only agree with you. 

“Okay, I’ll be back in two minutes,” he says. 

You nod, and he kisses you before disappearing. He’s deeply concerned, worried, and scared of what you have to tell him. He’s imagining the worst. You’ve recently been back from Rome and he noticed that something changed during that trip. He noticed your puffy eyes, the dark circles under your eyes, the sadness written all over your face, and the way your mind is always somewhere else. 

At first, during your video phone calls, he’d ask if you’re okay, but since you wouldn’t say anything besides ‘yes, i’m good’, he understood that he couldn’t force you to speak. It has to come from you. He’s convinced something really bad happened in Rome. He’d even say a man acted disrespectfully towards you.

In no time, he quickly dries himself with a towel before putting his clothes on. He says goodbye to his teammates and leaves in a rush with his bag in his hand. He finds you in the same spot. You’re looking down at your phone, probably looking at some reels on insta. You always do that when you have to wait. 

Taehyung presses a soft kiss on your head when he’s next to you. 

“Let’s go?” he asks. 

You simply nod, and you both leave the stadium. Your boyfriend grabs your hand to guide you to his splendid car. The same car where Taehyung almost fucked you some days ago. You can’t get enough of each other when you’re together. 

“Where do you want to go?” he asks once inside the car. 

“My apartment?” you suggest. 

“Okay, fine,” he nods before starting the engine. 

The drive to your place is quite calm, you barely speak, but honestly, you don’t know what to say. Your mind is thinking of all the ways you can announce your pregnancy to Taehyung. Your boyfriend gets worrier as you get closer to your place. He’s scared to hear what you’ll say to him. Easily, he finds a parking spot near your place, and you quickly leave the car. 

Once you're inside your apartment, the first thing you do is jump into his arm, holding him very tightly in your embrace. He’s caught off guard which destabilizes him but he quickly wraps his arms around you. It’s something bad, he can feel it. 

“I’m pregnant,” you whisper against his chest. 

His entire body freezes as he hears your words. Out of all the horrible scenarios he imagined, pregnancy wasn’t one of them. Well, being honest, pregnancy isn’t a terrible scenario at all. It’s actually the opposite. It’s probably not the right moment but it’s not a bad thing. All this time, he was convinced that you got rapes in Rome. 

It takes him a couple of seconds to process what you said. He wasn’t thinking of getting the news of being a father this early in life. This is a shocking news. Taehyung pushes you a bit so he can take a proper look at you, his girlfriend.  

“And you found it out in Rome, right?” he asks. 

For him, that’s the only reason that would explain the shift in you during your trip with Mia. 

“Yes,” you answer. 

“Hmm,” he says while he turns his back to you. 

He runs his left hand on his hair while he starts to really process what has been going on for more than a week. Yes, it all makes perfect sense. 

His reaction worries you. Now, you’re not sure you should have said it. Maybe, he’s going to ask you to abort because he doesn’t want this baby. Oooh, this is all messing up in your head. 

“Why didn’t you tell me when you found out?” he asks. 

Taehyung isn’t still looking at you. Not having his glance on you while you’re giving him this huge news makes you feel so small. It makes you feel like a baby who needs to be reassured by a loved one.

“I didn’t want to announce that through a phone call,” you explain first, “and I also didn’t want to give you this news when I didn’t know if I’d keep the baby.” 

As he hears your last words, he turns around to finally look at you. It devastates him to hear that you even considered aborting, and it breaks his heart that he wasn’t by your side at that moment. 

“Are you going to abort?” he instantly asks. 

You shake your head. “I don’t know, Tae.” 

A tear runs down your face. Your boyfriend instantly holds you in his arms and presses a comforting kiss on your head. 

His entire life, he imagined that it’d be a moment of joy when he’d be given this news. Of course, he always pictured that you’d be the mother of his children, but this wasn’t the way he saw things. He imagined you getting together, then getting married, and then having children. All those steps in life would be filled with joy and love because they would have been so awaited. 

You take a step back. “I wanted to think by myself before announcing anything, but I don’t know what to do. All I know is that I need you by my side.” 

“And you have me, butterfly,” he firmly says. 

“It’s also your child so I can’t take this decision by myself.” 

“Before being my child, it’s your body, yn,” he cups your face in his hands. “If you can’t or don’t want to carry it, you don’t have to and I will never force you to do whatever suits me.” 

Taehyung has always been the biggest gentleman you’ve ever known. This right here is proof that he is a wonderful human being. Even if this situation is all messed up, you’re just thankful that Taehyung is your boyfriend. You’re not sure any other man would have said that. Maybe that you would be blaming you for not telling them sooner. 

“All I can do is support you no matter what,” he adds. “I’m never going to force you to carry my child when you don’t want to.” 

“But would you want to keep it?” you ask with the biggest doe eyes. 

For a moment, Taehyung gets lost in his thoughts. He imagines your bump getting bigger, what it’d be like to see you pregnant with your child, what the baby would look like, and how it would feel to be a father. 

“Yes,” he answers without hesitation. “If you’re the mother of my child, no matter what is going on in our lives, I’ll want it.” 

His answer unimaginably comforts you. Knowing that makes you love him even more. 

“Even if we’re poor and living under a bridge?” you ask. 

A smile appears on his face. “Even if we’re poor and living under a bridge, I’d love to be the father of your child.” 

A little smile appears on your face. It definitely comforts you to know that he wants to be the father of your child. 

“And you’re the only person with whom I’d want to have a child,” you tell him. 

You press a gentle kiss on his lips, causing his smile to grow bigger. This situation is a bit tricky for you, but your boyfriend’s reaction brings so much comfort to you. 

“Do you know how far along you are?” he asks.   

“Well, you probably knocked me up at New Year’s Eve party so I’d be nine weeks pregnant,” you answer. 

Taehyung remembers that night very fondly. It was the night that changed his life for the better, and it was a wonderful night. The best night ever. Your first night together was wonderful, but now that you’ve got to learn about each other, sex is a hundred times better. 

“Have you already made an appointment with your gynecologist?” 

“Yes,” you nod. “That’s also one of the reasons why I’m announcing it to you now. It’s in two days, and I really want you to come.” 

“I’ll be there with you, butterfly.” 

He passionately kisses you. Now that he knows, it makes this news more bearable. It almost makes it feel like it’s not a big deal because he wants that child. But he only wants it if you want it too. So in the end, it’s really up to you to decide what you will do. Nonetheless, it reassures you so much to know that he will be by your side. If you decide to keep the baby, he’ll gladly be a present father. And if you decide to get an abortion, he will stay with you throughout the entire process. 

MARCH 7, 2022

Taehyung is sitting next to you while you’re lying on a medical examination table. Your legs are wide open and the gynecologist is in between them. It’s honestly a bit weird to be in that position with your boyfriend sitting next to you. 

“I’m going to insert the probe,” the woman informs you. 

Doctor Park has been your gynecologist for years, and it was more than natural you’d be coming to her for this first checkup as a pregnant woman. Once you saw the positive test, you instantly booked an appointment. Luckily for you, she was available rather quickly. 

When you exposed to her the situation, she informed you that she would need to do an endovaginal ultrasound. Since it’s only the beginning of the pregnancy, if she performs a ‘normal’ ultrasound, nobody will see anything as the baby is very small. 

Taehyung is holding your hand as the probe is slowly and carefully pushed inside you. The doctor moves the probe from right to left until she finally sees something on her screen. A bright smile appears on her face when she sees what she’s been looking for and seconds later, the room is filled with the sound of heartbeats. Instantly, your head turns to your boyfriend who’s smiling as he’s hearing the sound. His eyes look down at you. They are filled with love. 

Hearing the fast heartbeat makes it real. There’s no doubt that you’re pregnant. But hearing this sound warms your heart indescribably. A tiny human is growing inside you, and you’re literally creating life. It’s so unreal what a woman’s body can do. 

Then, you both look at the screen and you’re trying to see something but you clearly don’t understand what’s appearing. 

“This right here is your baby,” the doctor points out to a tiny black dot on the screen. “And this right here is your second baby,” she points out to another dot. 

The world stops turning when she announces the second baby. There are two babies. You’re expecting twins.  

“And you can hear the heartbeats of the two babies,” she says. 

You look at the screen with disbelief. Two lives are growing inside you. You’re creating two little humans. You squeeze Tae’s hand as you can’t conceive that you’re expecting twins. 

“Based on what we can see, they are identical twins.” 

As from there, you can’t hear anything else. All you see is the two little dots on the screen. All you see and hear is your babies. They are real. They are here inside you. If you decide to keep them, two little humans will join you. You’d become a mother and Tae a father. This is a very big deal. From now on, you’ll be responsible for those two little lives. Whatever decision you make, it will inevitably impact them. 

Your eyes move to Taehyung to watch him with admiration. There is no doubt that he will be a fantastic father and those two babies will always be lucky to have him as their father. Since you’re quite young, your boyfriend always said that he wanted a big family. He wants at least five children. It’s a bit too much, but from a very young age, he has that desire to become a father. You know that he wants those two babies. And as you’re looking at him right now, it’s evident to you that he truly wants to have the twins in his life. 

Being here changes everything. Seeing the babies on the screen and hearing their heartbeats helps you to make a decision. 

For sure, it won’t be easy to become a mother and jungle with all the challenges you’re facing right now. But never on earth will you get an abortion. You had doubts up until now, but you don’t have any more. You’re a hundred percent certain that you will keep them.    

APRIL 7, 2022

Let’s be real, being pregnant with twins is far from being easy. You’re still pretty much nauseous, you’re belly is slowly but surely growing, and your emotions are definitely all over the place. Thankfully enough, Taehyung has been very supportive. 

A month ago, when you told him that you wanted to keep the babies, he was the happiest man on earth. That night was very very spicy. He now speaks to the babies every single day, and that’s the cutest thing on earth. You’re now living together to make it easier and you chose his place. It’s a bit far from your workplace but before going to his daily trainings, he drops you off at work. When he’s present of course. When he’s in another city or country, you stay at your apartment to make it easier. 

So far, you’ve been enjoying living with him. You get to be goofy together, to spend more time together, to watch random movies together, and to have more often sex. Surprisingly, your libido has been quite high. Whenever you lay eyes on your boyfriend, you simply want to make babies with him. 

However, it’s not easy to be dating him. Every single day, there are rumors that he’s dating this or this girl, and they all come from because they liked a picture of him. It’s really incredible what can be read online. It’s such silly things. You try to avoid checking anything about him on social medias because when you read those things, all you want to do is to say that he’s with you which isn’t a great idea. It’s been four months that you’ve been together but since the beginning, it’s been hard on that aspect. 

Since yesterday, Taehyung has been in another city because he played earlier against the team from that city. He’s coming back tomorrow morning, and you’re excited to see him again. You deeply miss him when he’s not hear. You miss your little bear. 

After months of trying to find a little cute nickname for Taehyung, you finally found it. It came out of nowhere, he was speaking with the babies, you ended up calling him a papa bear, and it stayed. He’s your cute little bear. 

You’re going through your phone, and you come across a video on insta of Taehyung. It’s apparently reported that he’s dating a random girl you never saw before. Nothing new so far. However, almost at the end of the video, there’s a picture of your boyfriend with her. They look very close, almost as if they are about to kiss. The picture isn’t very clear but obviously something is going on. 

That breaks your heart in an unimaginable way. 

Many questions cross your mind but you push them away because it’s definitely not a good idea to start imagining the worst. He’s clearly madly in love with you so he’s not going to cheat on you right now. But seeing this picture creates a big doubt in your mind. 

You put your phone away before turning on the TV. Maybe you need to watch something else to distract you. You trust Taehyung, you know he’s never going to cheat on you. You’ve known him for years, he’s a respectful man. He would never cheat on his partner. 

Nonetheless, watching TV isn’t helpful at all as this ‘new relationship’ of Taehyung is being displayed everywhere. Based on reliable sources, they have been together for months. They have been trying to keep it lay low, but they were seen yesterday in front of her house having a very intimate moment. This is heartbreaking. You want to cry. 

Maybe it’s best you simply go to bed and sleep. Taehyung is coming in a couple of hours and you will speak about all of this. You don't want to jump to conclusions just yet. You want to hear what your boyfriend has to say about this incident. But it’s hard to fall asleep with that picture of him with another woman in your mind. 

Your phone buzzes and the screen lights up, indicating that you received a message. It’s a message from Taehyung. “I’m here, open the door please.” You frown. What is he doing here? Shouldn’t he be in another city? 

Slowly, you leave the bed to open the door. The main entrance is a bit far from the bedroom so it takes you a bit of time to reach the door. As you open it, you notice it’s raining outside. Your boyfriend is standing in front of you, fully swamped by the rain. It warms your heart to see him because you really need him right now.  

“What are you doing here?” you ask. 

“I saw the picture of me with that girl,” he starts saying. “I knew you’d see it too and I didn’t want to leave you thinking about it all night long.” 

This scene seems coming straight out of a movie. Your lover is standing in front of you while it’s raining, swamping him more and more. Although you’re worried about his health, you find this is a heartfelt moment. It’s also very romantic.  

“Come inside,” you tell him. “I don’t want you to get sick.” 

He does as you say, and you close the door behind him. The two of you head to the bathroom. As you’re walking, you take a look behind you, noticing how wet the floor is getting. You mentally note to yourself that you’ll need to clean otherwise somebody slip and get hurt. Once inside the impressive bathroom, you stop in front of the toilet bowl while Taehyung remains close to the door.  

“Why did you ask me to open the door?” you ask as he’s getting undressed. “Don’t you have the keys?” 

“I left in a rush and forgot the keys,” he answers. 

Your eyes wander on his toned body as he removes every single piece of clothes. Taehyung is so damn handsome. 

“You didn’t need to come for that,” you tell him. “We could have waited for tomorrow.” 

Taehyung looks up at you with wet strands of hair falling in front of his eyes. He looks incredibly hot. He’s pushing his black pants down but they feel quite heavy. He notices that you’re a bit sleepy, and he can’t help but find you extremely pretty. Taehyung hides the little smile appearing on his face.  

“I couldn’t,” he says. 

Once he’s fully naked, he wraps himself in a towel before sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Your eyes follow him before you sit next to him. Your eyes stare at him for a hot minute, but you quickly turn your face to look right in front of you. 

“That’s an old picture,” he suddenly says. “It’s from like a year ago. It’s one of the many one-night stands I had.” 

You nod. “I believe you,” you simply say. “It’s hard to be looking at this kind of pictures, it was even before we started dating, and seeing them makes me doubt.” 

Taehyung puts his hand on your leg to softly soothe it. The warmth of his touch conforms you a lot. 

“I love you, butterfly,” he says. “I’ve always loved you. You’re actually the only woman I’ve ever loved, and I would never do anything to hurt or lose you.” 

You rest your head on his shoulder. 

“I guess you know but my love life was a complete mess before the new year’s night. I was sleeping with lots of girls but I was never able to commit to any of them. It was mostly one-night stands,” he explains. “I was in love with you but thought you didn’t love me back the same way so I was trying to find that love somewhere else. But I couldn’t because you’ve always been the only one on my mind.” 

Obviously, you knew about his many one-night stands but never said anything. You always considered those girls to be lucky to have at least had the experience of having sex with him. You weren’t exactly looking for sex with him, but when you’re in love, physical attraction is inevitable. So yeah, from time to time, you’d think about that. 

“So I decided to only sleep with them. It’s easy, you just sleep and then, you never see them again,” he adds. “It got worse when you started dating Noah. I couldn’t bear seeing you in love and the only thing that could distract me from that was literally having sex with someone else. For a brief moment, my mind is simply lost in pleasure.” 

It breaks your heart to hear that. You never thought it would be that hard for him to see you with Noah. Back then, you knew you weren’t in love with him because the only person you ever truly loved was Taehyung. But since you couldn’t have him, you tried to find love in someone else. Even if it meant to never truly be happy.  

“So you did that for 3 years?” you ask. 

“Yep,” he says while nodding. “Honestly, at some point, I even thought you’d get married.” 

As he says those words, you bite your lower lip. 

“Have I ever told you how it truly ended up with Noah?” you ask while turning your head to look at him. 

Taehyung glances at you with confusion. Why are you suddenly raising this question? 

“I guess you never told me at all how you broke up.” 

“Well, he proposed but I said no,” you tell him. 

“Really?” he asks with evident surprise. 

“I never understood why he proposed. Back then, we were falling out of love. It was obvious that it was going to end sooner or later,” you explain. “I was never going to marry him. I wasn’t happy anymore.” 

Quite frankly, he’s very surprised. In his mind, you would have agreed to get married with him. He always thought you were madly in love with Noah but now, he knows that he was wrong. 

“So if he had proposed earlier, would you have accepted?” he asks with hesitation. 

“Probably,” you shrug. “In my head, it was better to be with someone else than losing your friendship.” 

His hand slowly moves higher on your thigh while his face gets closer to your ear. “Then, I’m lucky he didn’t,” he whispers, causing goosebumps all over your body. 

Before his hand reaches your pussy, you push it back. “You should take a hot bath before you get sick.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I didn’t come to take a bath.” 

“Well, if you didn’t walk under the rain, you wouldn’t be taking a bath,” you say. “Maybe, we’d be making more babies.” 

It frustrates him when you tease him like that, but he finds it extremely adorable that even if you’re together, you’re still kind of prude. 

“I can still fuck you in the bathtub,” he replies. 

“You’re always so crude,” you tell him. 

“And you’re still so prude, butterfly,” he says. “No need to hold back with me.”

Your boyfriend gets closer to you before crashing his lips against yours. Kissing you is without any doubt his favorite part of being with you. This isn’t at all a shy kiss, on the contrary, it’s a very fervent kiss. No doubt you crave to do unholy things together. 

“Let’s get in that damn bathtub,” Taehyung says on your lips. 

He grabs your lower lip with his teeth, causing you to moan. Right after that, you stand up to get undressed while Taehyung turns on the water. Once you’re naked in front of him, a bright smile appears on his face when he looks at your little bump. It’s getting bigger as it should. Inevitably, he gets closer to you and softly caresses your belly. You watch him with tenderness. This is so cute. 

“Hi babies,” he whispers against your belly before pressing a kiss. “It’s daddy.” 

Your heart is melting at his words. Taehyung also takes a weird voice when he speaks with them. It’s the tone everybody takes when speaking to a baby, but it’s adorable to hear him speak like that.  

“I love you both already very very much,” he adds. “And I can’t wait to meet you in October. Please be gentle with your mommy until there.” 

Your hand caresses his soft hair as he presses another soft kiss on your stomach. It’s adorable to watch him interact with the babies. The gynecologist advised to do so in order for the twins to recognize his voice but she didn’t need to say it. Taehyung adores to talk to them. 

“Now, I will ask you to close your eyes because your mommy and daddy will do nasty things,” you laugh at his words. 

“You’re crazy,” you tell him. 

“Hey, I’m just warning them,” his eyes look up at you. “It’ll be a little shaky shaky for them.” 

He gets up to press a smack on your lips before turning off the water. He doesn’t waste any second before jumping into the bathtub. You don’t follow him directly as you’re watching him. Once he’s taken place inside the bathtub, his eyes look at you. 

“You’re not coming?” he asks. 

OCTOBER 01, 2022

Charlie & Freddie. 

Those are the two names you and Taehyung chose for your little twins. They were born very early today, it was 2 am when they joined you. It wasn’t easy to give birth to two healthy boys, but honestly, this day is the best day of your life. After all, it’s the day you became a mother, but it’s most and foremost, the day you met the little boys you created with your boyfriend. 

Taehyung is sitting on a chair, shirtless with Freddie in his arms. Seeing him with the babies is without any doubt the best thing in the world. He has spent the last hour holding them, one after the other to make the skin-to-skin contact. 

On the other hand, you’re sitting on the bed with Charlie in your arms. After a little struggle, you’ve managed to breastfeed him. Between him and Freddie, he was the one having the most difficulties to latch. But now, all is good. 

The twins really are identical, you can’t tell them apart. So with Taehyung, you’ve decided that for now, you’ll always put something red on Charlie and something yellow on Freddie. However, you wonder how long you’ll be able to keep up with that. Many sleepless nights are waiting for you. For sure, once you’ll get tired, you’ll get all mixed up. 

Being in this room with Taehyung and your twins seems unreal. Last year, you were still having a crush on your best friend, not able to reveal your true feelings. You were so scared to lose him if you’d reveal your feelings. It was hard to see him with other women. But today, things are completely different. You’re madly in love with your best friend and you started your own little family. 

Taehyung looks down at his son. His life has drastically changed in less than a year. He finally found peace because he was bold enough to reveal his feelings for you. He isn’t any more sleeping with strangers in order to stop thinking about you constantly. He’s now allowing himself to think about you night and day. All that because you love him back. 

It’s crazy how a simple kiss on a new year’s eve party can flip someone’s world upside down.  

[les4elliewilliams]

❝SHE’S A MANEATER!❞

LOSER!ELLIE ﾒ MEAN!READER

❝OH-OH HERE SHE COMES WATCH OUT, GIRL, SHE’LL CHEW YOU UP!❞

ᝰ.ᐟ ⌞SUMMARY⌝﹕After bumping into you on her first day of college, Ellie spends the entire year captivated by you from a distance. You're everything she could never be—popular, wealthy, and effortlessly alluring, with a perfect, disgustingly rich family to match. Convinced she didn’t stand a chance, Ellie resigns herself to watching from the sidelines. But when her best friend Dina suggests they work at a public pool for the summer, Ellie agrees, hoping to save up some money. What she never expected was to find you there, commanding the space with a magnetic, dangerous charm that pulls her in. Now, Ellie’s summer is about to take a turn she never saw coming, and she’s about to find out just how close she can get to you before it all falls apart.

✶.ᐟ ⌞THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS⌝﹕ approx 16k words⨾ bullying⨾ cursing⨾ use of alcohol and drugs⨾ angst⨾ reader being a bitch for no reason⨾ 18+ CONTENT⨾ cunnilingus (𝑒!receiving)⨾ semi-public sex ig?? (in the bathroom of their workplace)⨾ coworker!ellie⨾ dom!reader⨾ fem!reader⨾ player!reader x loser!ellie⨾ slapping⨾ jealousy issues??⨾ overstimulation⨾ ellie squirting (yumm)⨾ lmk if i missed anything!

.ᐟ.ᐟ ⌞AUTHOR´S NOTE⌝﹕this series took me forever to finish and almost deleted it because i had no motivation:3 the whole thing was supposed to be a quick one shot but its too long for that, i fear. (around 40k words) so i decided im gonna split it in two and make a sequel (for those who care); proofread by @sapphichotmess (i love you sm)

#.ᐟ ⌞TAGLIST⌝﹕ @pick-me-up-im-scared @rew1nds @aouiaa [comment to be added!]

#.ᐟ ⌞CHAPTERS⌝ ↯

˗ˏˋ 𝕠𝕟𝕖 ⋆ 𝐭𝐰𝐨 ⋆ 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 ˎˊ˗

palestine masterpost ⋆ read this ⋆ daily clicks

Summer 2023, Santa Barbara.

23th of June.

The first year of college felt like it dragged on forever, with endless lectures, assignments, and late-night cram sessions that blurred into one exhausting marathon. But then, as if in the blink of an eye, it was over. Ellie packed up her dorm room, said her goodbyes, and headed home with the promise of a long, lazy summer stretching out before her.

The auburnette was a quiet introvert with a love for solitary activities, ready to kick back and relax. She loved this time of year—the bright, sunny days and the chilly, star-filled nights. The beach was her favorite place to unwind, where she could lose herself in the soothing rhythm of the waves crashing against the ancient shores and the feel of the sand between her toes. She loved soaking up the sun, letting its warmth seep into her freckled skin, and staying up late with her friends playing video games, adrenaline-pumping matches that promised to take all their sleepiness away, their laughter echoing into the early hours of the morning—or until Joel woke up to her yelling at random kids online and told her to turn it off, threatening to take all her consoles away.

But as the days melted into weeks, a sense of restlessness began to creep in. The once comforting routine now felt monotonous, and Ellie found herself craving something different, suddenly feeling unproductive. The pressure to change her routine was mounting, especially with Joel’s words ringing in her ears. He was dead serious when he told her she needed to stop being a lazy ass and start doing something with her life. He claimed that, by her age, he had already tried almost every job under the sun and didn’t want to see her wasting her days away.

At first, Ellie brushed off Joel's comments, but they lingered in the back of her mind, gnawing at her. Then, Dina chimed in, convincing her to join her and Jesse as lifeguards at the local pool. The idea seemed laughable to Ellie. She couldn’t imagine herself in such a role—standing on the pool deck, whistle in hand, ready to dive in at a moment's notice. But with nothing else on her plate and a growing desire to be productive, Ellie decided to give it a shot. 

What could possibly go wrong, after all?

What else did she have to do? Absolutely nothing. And she figured she could always quit if things were really that bad. No harm in trying, right?

With a mix of nervousness and excitement, the young girl signed up for the lifeguard training course. The first few days were grueling—learning CPR, mastering rescue techniques, and memorizing safety protocols. She quickly realized that she enjoyed the physical challenge and the sense of responsibility that came with the role. Plus, spending her days by the pool wasn’t too far off from her ideal summer.

After a week of rigorous training, Ellie had finally reached a level where she felt ready. However, her confidence faltered when she discovered you were also working there. Every time she beheld you, your ethereal and almost unreal presence left her breathless. Her heart raced wildly, and a lump formed in her throat that threatened to strangle her. She knew who you were but doubted you even knew she existed. You were stunning and popular, seemingly out of her league. She felt like a total loser, a nerd invisible to every girl on the planet, except for those weird and jerky dudes she couldn’t stand. Her feelings of inadequacy were overwhelming, and you sure made her question her own worth and existence. 

She saw you every day on campus, a sprawling green space bustling with students. You were always walking around with your group, a bunch of stylish individuals who cared a lot about their appearances, invariably decked out in expensive clothes. You were part of that clique, but she always felt like you were different somehow. Maybe it was how you looked at her on the first day of college when she accidentally bumped into you and made all your books drop to the floor.

Ellie remembered that moment vividly. The campus, with its towering oak trees and vibrant flower beds, had been buzzing with the energy of new beginnings. She had been rushing to her next class, preoccupied with a million different thoughts when she collided with you. Your books scattered across the walkway, and she dropped to her knees, frantically trying to gather them up while mumbling apologies. Your friends' disdainful looks made her cheeks burn with humiliation, but your reaction was entirely different. You crouched down, your fingers brushing against hers as you both reached for the same book, and you gave her a smile that was kind and understanding.

She couldn’t help but replay the moment in her mind, wondering if it had meant as much to you as it had to her. 

Jesse’s constant teasing didn’t help. He loved to remind her of her awkwardness, mimicking how she stumbled over her words and nearly fell on her face right in front of you.

And now, seeing you standing there, the auburnette felt that same nervous energy bubbling up again. Your red lifeguard uniform clung to your body like a second skin, making her heart perform a series of pathetic, acrobatic flips. She watched you from a distance, marveling at how effortlessly you moved, how you seemed to command attention without even trying. You were a natural leader, confident and composed, while Ellie felt like a bundle of nerves just trying to keep up. A small part of her that hoped she might get to know you better, to see if that smile you had given her on the first day was a glimpse of something more.

“Oh shiii- she works here too?” Ellie looked to her best friend Dina, her eyebrows raised in surprise as she observed your every move. You casually blowing your whistle at a group of kids playing fights with crumbs of bread stood out to her immediately, watching in fascination as you effortlessly kept the children in line.

“Yeah, ‘course she does.” Dina couldn't contain a small snort of laughter as she pulled on a vibrant red T-shirt over her red bikini, its vivacious color standing out against her tanned skin. “She does every year,” she shared, her voice tinged with a hint of amusement. But how could she know this when all she did was immerse herself in gaming, hanging out with friends, and getting high rather than seeking part-time work to earn extra cash like every other 18-year-old? 

She also found it perplexing that a wealthy individual like you would even bother working in the first place; after all, from what she had heard, you always got whatever you asked for from your father. She guessed that the only possible reasons you might have been working were to become more independent or to seek out something to occupy your time.

“Oh.” Her rosy pink lips formed a perfect 'o' shape, her surprise evident in how they parted. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered loudly to her friend. 

Dina's brow rose quizzically as she placed her hands on her hips. “Why, did you want to know?” Dina shot Ellie a doubtful look, the same disapproving glance she always gave her whenever Ellie expressed interest in a girl who ultimately turned out to be straight.

The redhead nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders, “No, but–” she was quick to cut her off before Ellie could come up with an excuse that wouldn't hold water. Her friend could read her like an open book, and she knew certainly what was going on just by witnessing the heart-shaped pupils of Ellie's eyes as they lingered on you from afar.

“–Nuh-uh. You’re just being a delusional lesbian again,” Dina called her out on it, and the freckled girl reacted almost dramatically, gasping at the brunette's accusation.

“Don’t give me that look,” she pointed a finger at Ellie, finger jabbing the air like a weapon of accusation. “You told me to stop you before you started falling for another straight girl, and that’s exactly what I’m doing right now. Calling you out on your shit.” Dina’s voice was firm and uncompromising, her words leaving no space for negotiation or debate. Her eyes, deep pools of golden-hued amber, narrowed into slits, fixed on her friend with a steely gaze. The young girl knew better than to argue with her best friend.

Deep down, Ellie knew Dina was right. Images of her previous “relationship” flashed through her mind—the heartbreak, the disappointment, the tears—all because some bi-curious girl had led her on, only to reject her in the end. Who was there to pick up the pieces and put her back together again? None other than Dina, of course. And Jesse, but he wasn’t that helpful.

The green-eyed girl crossed her arms over her chest and huffed in response, her frustration evident in her defensive body language. “But she smiled at me on the first day of college, remember? When I bumped into her and made her drop all her books?”

Dina rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh, shaking her head in disbelief, she truly couldn’t believe how clueless and naive her best friend could be at times, or maybe she just pretended to be dumb as fuck; Dina wasn’t sure. “Ellie, she was just being nice. That doesn’t mean she’s into you.” frustration colored her voice.

A sigh left the redhead’s lips, her gaze trailing back to you, unable to keep her eyes from checking you out. Seeing you sent her thoughts astray, her heart racing as she studied your features once more. “I know, I know. But a girl can dream, right?”

“Yeah, dream away. Just don’t get your hopes up too high. We’ve got a job to do, so stop daydreaming about unattainable girls and go get changed.” The black-haired girl demanded, shifting her weight from foot to foot, her arms hanging by her sides.

Ellie nodded, trying to push aside her feelings of infatuation. She knew Dina was right, but it was hard to ignore the fluttering in her chest every time her hazel eyes landed on you. 

The first day, Jesse showed the auburnette around, explaining all the rules she and everyone else had to follow—when to yell at people, when to blow the whistle, the regular stuff. Ellie wanted to talk to you, to introduce herself at the very least, considering you were colleagues now, but she didn’t have the guts.

How you walked around and carried yourself, it was almost as if you owned the place. You were so confident, and Ellie felt like a creep for not being able to ignore your presence. Her eyes naturally darted towards you, tracing every contour and inch of your exposed body, only covered by a red one-piece swimsuit. You looked like you were coming straight out of Baywatch, looking like every teenage boy’s dream... and hers, too. 

She felt ashamed for not being any better than a man.

Ellie really tried to focus on what Jesse was saying, but her mind kept drifting back to you. She felt a mix of awe and frustration. How could someone be so effortlessly captivating? The way you moved, the way you interacted with everyone—it was like you belonged in a different league.

“Ellie, you with me?” Jesse’s voice broke through her thoughts.

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” she stammered, feeling her cheeks heat up.

Jesse raised an eyebrow but continued. “Like I was saying, just remember to stay alert and don’t hesitate to step in if something looks off. We’ve got a good team here, so don’t worry.”

Ellie nodded, trying to absorb the information. She glanced at you again, noticing how you seemed completely at ease, chatting and laughing with the other lifeguards. The auburnette envied that ease, that confidence, something she seemed to lack. Ellie always felt out of place in moments like this. She tried not to be so shy and be more easygoing, but your presence felt almost intimidating. She couldn’t shake the feeling of inadequacy. You were so stunning, so composed, and she felt like a fucking loser in comparison.

24th of June.

Since she couldn’t bring herself to talk to you on the first day, Ellie tried again on the second, encouraged by Jesse’s comforting words, “Try not to look like a drooling loser when you talk to her,” He couldn't help but crack a smile at the almost imperceptible scoff she gave him in response. Her sun-kissed cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink, making her freckles look like tiny specks of stardust against a rosy sky. It was endearing how easy it was to tease her, and what Jesse found more endearing was how she couldn’t tear her attentive eyes away from you, tracking your every move like a hawk eyeing its next meal or an art connoisseur fixated on a masterpiece—almost as if you were the center of her universe, a celestial body she could orbit but never touch. 

He knocked his shoulder into hers, sending her stumbling awkwardly and bursting her fragile soap bubble, scattering her thoughts into a chaotic mess. Startled and momentarily yanked out of her little barrier of daydreams and delusions, she mumbled defensively under her breath, “I’m not a loser.” Before she could gather herself, he was already striding away, heading toward a group of kids running around the pool, corralling them like a shepherd with a sharp blow of his whistle.

Her ivy-hued irises followed him for a moment before drifting back to you. You were conversing with an older woman, a beaming smile adorning your face as you nodded at her words every now and then; your hair framed your immaculate features in such a way that Ellie wanted to capture that moment forever. Something about your effortless beauty captivated her; you were so perfect that it made her wonder if you could possibly be real. Could you be just the result of her wild imagination? Possibly, yeah.

Ellie just lingered in the background, waiting patiently for an opportunity to approach you without interrupting your conversation. She had been acting busy, meticulously inspecting the pool to make sure everyone was following the rules, but her eyes kept drifting back to you. She couldn’t help it. When she observed you walking towards a plastic chair, sensing her chance, she mustered up her courage and approached you.

Don’t be a pussy, don’t be a pussy. Ellie repeated the words to herself like a mantra.

Her heart raced wildly as she walked towards you, her mind a whirl of anxious thoughts. What if she stumbled over her words?

With every step she took, the knots in her stomach grew tighter and tighter.

She kept debating with herself, inching closer and closer to you. Honestly, the thought of talking to you was unbearable. She knew she’d end up looking like a fool. Why was she even trying to get your attention? Wait, was that really her intention? Was she actually planning to make you like her? She huffed at her desperation.

Maybe she could just turn back and pretend you weren’t there. Like she didn’t see you every day at work. 

As she continued her internal argument, your voice suddenly snapped her back to reality.

“Hey, you’re the new girl,” You exclaimed, taking a confident step toward the freckle-faced girl. She swore she could almost see the confidence pouring out of your every pore, her heart pounding wildly in her chest and palms becoming disgustingly clammy as her cheeks flushed, the relentless sun only making it worse. Being so close to you, Ellie noticed how each strand of your hair swayed with the gentle summer breeze that had decided to bless them on the disturbingly hot summer day.

There was no fucking way you noticed her, no fucking way you were talking to her right now. Ellie forced out a dry, awkward chuckle, “Y-yeah. Think that’s me,” she stumbled over her words, giving you a half-crooked smile, her eyes darting around nervously, avoiding direct eye contact. She felt ridiculous for not being able to maintain steady eye contact. Why did she have to be so embarrassing? Why was talking to pretty girls so fucking hard?

“Yeah,” you responded with a steady tone, in stark contrast to her shaky and almost timid voice. Your gaze shamelessly roamed over every inch of her, taking in every detail from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. A barely audible hum escaped your lips, “Ellen, right?” you inquired, your eyes locking briefly before the aubrunette looked away again.

“Ellie,” she corrected you shyly, her slender fingers absentmindedly tracing delicate patterns on the back of her neck.

“Why, what did I say?” you questioned nonchalantly, still studying her. She felt small and insignificant under your scrutinizing gaze, almost judged. All of a sudden, she felt so self-conscious about her looks.

“Nothing,” she mumbled, snorting quietly. Uncertain of what to do next and feeling almost scared of contradicting you, she hesitantly reached out her hand toward you. Your inquisitive eyes locked onto her veiny hand, studying it for a few moments before finally shaking it. “Nice to meet you.” 

Starstruck eyes stared right back at yours, and a wide grin that never left her face. She felt a rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins as she held your hand, letting it linger a bit longer than necessary, though too lost in a world of her own to notice. After a whole semester pining over you on campus, watching you from afar like a Joel Goldberg, she finally found herself face-to-face with you, engaged in a real conversation. She had been waiting for this moment for a lifetime, almost, feeling truly seen and known by you for the very first time.

A slow smile crept across your face, and your gaze dropped down to her hand, which was still firmly attached to yours in a stubborn grip like a tenacious octopus refusing to let go. “Don’t get attached,” Your jest had a confident, almost boastful tone, causing her heart to skip a beat.

Were you making fun of her? Was she making a fool of herself? Her mind quickly became consumed by overthinking. It was absurd; how could she draw such strong conclusions after just two minutes of conversation with you? Three minutes was enough to send her thoughts into a tempestuous cyclone, their rhythm erratic and tumultuous. She told herself that she was simply overthinking, but sometimes, it's easy to mistake intuition for overthinking.

The nervous girl forced out a strained, strangled chuckle, “I’ll try not to,” she said, attempting to match your casual tone, even though her heart was still racing.

You laughed softly, a sound that seemed to echo in her mind long after you walked away. Ellie stood there for a moment, trying to steady her breath and slow down her chaotic thoughts. Her eyes darted towards Dina, who stood nearby with a smirk on her face, arms crossed over her chest and leaning nonchalantly against the bar wall. Her long, dark brown hair was tied up in a high, sleek ponytail, and she casually chewed on a piece of gum, observing the entire encounter with a mixture of amusement and appraisal.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Dina teased her friend, walking over to her.

Ellie rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “Yeah, sure. Piece of cake,” she muttered, though the adrenaline still coursed through her veins.

As the day continued, Ellie found herself glancing at you more often than she’d like to admit. Each time she saw you, she felt a mix of excitement and anxiety. She couldn’t shake the gut feeling that this summer was going to be different.

28th of June.

Ellie sighed in relief as she sought refuge under the closest patch of shade she could find. The scorching sun was relentless, turning her into a messy canvas for glistening beads of sweat to trickle down her dotted face and back. The air felt heavy and stagnant, intensifying the already stifling heat. It seemed like the sun had a personal vendetta against her today, making every little thing feel ten times more irritating.

Like you, for example.

Being around you was a source of never-ending irritation for her, and she despised the fact that she had to share the same airspace with you. It was an injustice in her eyes, how your stunning good looks did not reflect your unpleasant personality. How could looks be so fucking deceiving? Ellie had no clue, all she knew was that she fell for it. Every. Single. Time.

The fury inside her was like an uncontrollable wildfire as she aggressively scribbled over your name with her pen in her journal. If only it were that easy to erase you completely, to make you vanish as if you had never existed. Feeling completely dumb for even remotely thinking that you could be any different from the people you hung out with. Every time she had to interact with you, the only thoughts echoing in her mind were Dina's warning words. 

Dina was right.

But Ellie would never say it out loud only to get an “I told you” back.

Everyone had warned her about you—they all knew the truth about your character, yet she found herself stubbornly holding onto the belief that there was something more to you than just the surface-level impression. If she were to add your name to a list of defining terms, it would undoubtedly be accompanied by words like “evil,”“spoiled,” or even the simplest yet most descriptive term, “brat.”

Working with you was a constant nightmare; even being in the same vicinity as you felt like torturous purgatory. You seemed incapable of restraining yourself, constantly throwing witty, biting remarks to the anxious girl, even when she hadn't provoked you in any way. It perplexed her—why did you take such pleasure in taunting her? It was as if the world itself would implode if you didn’t pick on her despite the seemingly nonexistent reasons behind your hostility. She often found herself rambling about you to her friends. This time, though, not in a good way.

Talking to you felt like a return to the nightmarish experience that was middle school, a trip down memory lane that brought back memories she had worked so hard to forget. The bullying she had endured during that period had left a lasting impact on her, and your presence seemed to trigger something in her. It was for that exact reason that she tried her best to keep any interactions with you brief, limited to the bare essentials.

She watched as you sprang from your seat, sprinting after the kids, yelling at them, the shrill sound of your annoying whistle piercing the air. Threats flew from your mouth, aimed at their misbehavior and disruption of the pool’s tranquility. The best part? No one seemed to care about your passive-aggressive attitude because, let’s face it, you were just doing your job, and you were pretty damn good at it—pretty damn good at scaring people.

Ellie’s eyes took in the kids' terrified faces as they looked up at you, wide-eyed and quivering, but you didn’t care. Their fear didn’t stop you from messing with their childish, naive minds. Their innocence was like a delicate flower, easily manipulated. If Ellie claimed she didn't find it amusing, her nose would’ve grown like Pinocchio’s. It was almost comical how easily you maintained order, seemingly without effort. You possessed a natural inclination for control, a characteristic that could be a strength or a flaw, depending on one's perspective. 

“You know what happens if you run on a wet floor? You slip and hit your head,” you barked, hands firmly planted on your hips. “Is that what you two little gremlins want? To end up in a hospital with a cracked skull?” The kids darted off to their mothers, who were too engrossed in their own conversations to notice. You scoffed, watching them scamper away like puppies with their tails between their legs. Crossing your arms over your red bikini top, you muttered, “That’s what I thought,” a smirk curling your lips. It was almost as if you derived some twisted satisfaction from seeing others—especially kids—tremble in fear. There was an ever-present sadistic delight in your eyes whenever someone dared to cross your path, a blend of authority and mischief that made you the unchallenged queen of the poolside.

Ellie only ever saw a warm smile on your face when you were talking to the moms of the kids you had scared away in such a devilish manner. You transformed around them, becoming overly sugary-sweet, showering them with compliments and shooting wide grins their way. Your demeanor softened, offering them drinks as if you were hosting a garden party instead of working at a public pool.

The redhead scoffed as she tried to decipher your persona. You were a walking contradiction, a goddess clad in a red bikini. One moment, you were a menacing warden, barking orders and traumatizing kids; the next, you were a social butterfly, all warm smiles and saccharine charm with their moms. So fucking weird.

Ellie didn’t expect you to notice her presence not so far behind you, but nothing ever seemed to escape your attention. You were like a hawk, sharply observant, contrasting your superficial personality. Then again, maybe it was all an act you were putting on. Ellie marveled at the paradox of your nature—how you seemed so frivolous and charming on the surface yet were always acutely aware of everything happening around you. It was as if you had a second set of eyes hidden behind your back, always watching, always calculating, leaving her to wonder what was real and what was merely a façade.

“What? Got something to say?” Your voice was anything but friendly, ready to spark an argument over nothing. Your arched brows seemed to challenge her, daring her to complain or speak her mind in any way. 

Maybe she should just drop it before you could escalate things. Ellie wasn't in the mood for meaningless bickering, especially not under the blazing sun, sweating like a cow. 

But sometimes, her body loved to betray her.

“That was just a little bit harsh, is all,” the words slipped out before she could stop them, only realizing she'd spoken aloud when your expression shifted to a mocking smirk.

“Pardon?” You challanged, daring her to continue. She knew you had heard her perfectly; if you had caught her scoff a few seconds ago, there was no way you missed her comment now. The awkward girl knew what you were doing—trying to make her feel small and stupid for speaking up.

She couldn't back down now.

Ellie gulped, nerves tightening in her stomach, but stood her ground. “It’s just... they’re kids, you know?” Her voice wavered slightly, but she held your gaze, determined not to let you intimidate her.

“And?” You looked at her like she was exaggerating, as if she had been the one yelling at kids for having fun, threatening to call the police on them, or telling them she'd hijack their Christmas gifts from Santa and sell them on the black market.

Ellie knew there was no point in arguing or trying to tell you off, so she shook her head slowly, her eyes glued to the wet mosaic tiles. An airy chuckle escaped her lips as she replied, “Nothing.”

But of course, you didn’t drop it. “We gotta make sure people—especially kids—don’t get hurt, and if you don’t yell at them, they’re just going to keep doing it—that’s how kids are,” you justify your actions without a hint of remorse in your voice or on your face. The freckled girl knew you were right, but she tended to be softer with kids.

Ellie loved kids and swore nothing was better than being young, carefree, and without worries beyond your favorite toys and your best friend. Sometimes, she missed being a kid, even if she still felt like one deep down. Perhaps the fact that Joel kept treating her like one didn’t help. Always spamming her with texts, asking if she had eaten when she wasn’t home, staying out all day. Asking her a thousand questions at a time, enough to make her brain short-circuit.

“You terrified them!” Ellie exclaimed, though an involuntary laugh slipped out with her words, causing you to smirk ever so slightly.

“Oh, sorry, Eleonor,” you taunted, deliberately getting her name wrong as you stepped closer. “How ‘bout you teach me your ways?” Sarcasm dripped from your voice as your eyes locked with hers. For once, the green-eyed girl managed not to look away; your eyes were so animated and clever, like a fox's gaze, giving off the impression that you were always one step ahead and knew more than you let on.

Ellie’s expression dropped as soon as ‘her’ name rolled off your tongue. You were trying to get under her skin, as always, and despite it being something so insignificant, it worked wonders. The fact that you were invading her personal space didn't help either. “It’s Ellie,” she puffed.

“Oh, I thought it was short for Eleonor,” you said mockingly.

“Nope, just Ellie—’s not short for anything,” she replied, her tone tinged with annoyance, causing you to grin like the Cheshire cat. God, if you loved getting her worked up, having her wrapped around your finger, and messing with her mood so easily. It was endearing, truly.

“Hmm… dunno, I like Eleonor better, though,” you insisted with a cheeky grin. Your voice took on a more sultry tone. Or had she imagined it? Maybe she had.

Ellie had heard that being under the sun for too long could cause hallucinations and general sickness, and she was already sweating like crazy. That was her explanation, because why in the world would you ever try to flirt with her?

“Well, ‘s not my name,” she insisted.

The tanned girl’s chest expanded as her breath caught in her throat as you drew nearer with each passing moment. You inched so close that she could almost discern the individual strands of your eyelashes that cast shadows on her cheeks, the way your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. Your intense gaze, focused and persistent, traced the contours of her cheeks. 

Entranced, Ellie found her emerald eyes involuntarily drawn to your lips, merely inches away from hers. Unconsciously, she moistened her own lips, utterly captivated as she absorbed every pore and mole on your skin, revering every aspect of your being, whether flaw or perfection, with unwavering devotion in her mind. You were insanely beautiful; it was almost unfair. 

You extended your hand to cup her cheek gently, your thumb dragging across her cheekbone, spreading the sunscreen she had hastily applied in the morning. Ellie instinctively flinched at the unexpected contact. “You can't even apply sunscreen correctly,” you sneered, your voice dripping with mockery, before abruptly withdrawing and turning on your heel, leaving her standing there completely bewildered and disoriented.

What the fuck?

She spotted her dear best friend Dina, and Ellie ran up to her, eager to spill everything that had happened. A weird frustration churned inside her, a knot in her stomach that seemed to tighten as she rambled on and on about how obnoxious you were. She was down bad and wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Like- what the hell is her pro—” but Dina had enough.

“Jesus, get a grip, Ellie! Can’t you see I’m busy? You don’t get paid to act like a schoolgirl,” Dina groaned deeply, her manicured hands moving swiftly as she folded the pastel-colored towels, her eyes glued to her agitated friend. The cinnamon-haired girl had been caught in a continuous rant for the last 30 minutes, carelessly stumbling into Dina and disrupting her work as she paced around in a flustered manner.

Ellie groaned deeply in return, almost indignant at Dina’s reaction. How could she brush her off like this instead of offering comfort and reassuring words? Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do? Well, she had been, but at some point, the brunette grew tired of repeating herself over and over.

“I just don’t understand!” Ellie exclaimed furiously, her voice raising just enough to draw the attention of a few people sitting on the pool’s edge. To top it off, when she gestured, her hands knocked into the drinks Jesse was carrying as he approached the two girls from behind. Luckily, the cups were plastic, but the tray was thicker, causing a disturbing noise as it clattered on the mosaic. Ellie’s verdant emeralds widened, and she whipped around, cursing under her breath, “Shit, Jesse!”

She mumbled a flurry of apologies to the taller guy as she crouched down to help with the mess she had inadvertently caused. Her bare knees pressed against the cool, wet mosaic as her hands quickly gathered the plastic cups, stacking them one by one. As she fumbled to collect the scattered paper umbrellas, now lying crumpled on the moist floor, she placed them back on the tray, her movements slightly clumsy. Her chest tightened with embarrassment at the scene she had created.

“The fuck’s going on with you, man?” Jesse’s eyes scanned her face, confused.

“Her little girlfriend! That’s what happened,” his girlfriend exclaimed, completely fed up.

“Oh my god, Dina!” Ellie groaned, exasperated.

Jesse, being his usual self, furrowed his unplucked brows together. A quizzical expression took over his features, “You got a girlfriend?” he asked, bewildered, which seemed to throw Dina off even more, the confusion in his voice only adding fuel to the fire. 

The brunette shook her head, facepalming herself with an exasperated sigh. “I’m done,” she declared before walking away from the two, leaving them staring after her. She had been acting a little lunatic the whole day; maybe she was on her period. Ellie didn’t know. Or maybe it was because she had clumsily dropped Dina’s phone into the pool exactly three hours ago, the same phone she had worked so hard to get because her old one was falling apart like the Pisa tower. But hey, it was still working!

“Who? Cat?” the taller boy suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had settled between them. He redirected his attention back to his friend, and for a moment, all she could do was scoff. She couldn't believe he had actually brought up a girl she dated over three years ago. 

Ellie looked at him in disbelief, her heart-shaped lips slightly agape as if she was about to say something, ready to go off on him, but decided against it at the last moment. ‘Typical Jesse,’ she thought to herself. He knew everything because he always hung out with them, and if he didn’t, his girlfriend made sure to keep him in the loop. Plus, Ellie had a habit of rambling about every girl who kept her up at night, so it was impossible to miss or forget. But that's just how Jesse was—blissfully oblivious and fucking clueless. 

Ellie shook her head and sighed deeply before walking off as well.

“Why? What did I say?” He called out after her, his voice raised just enough to catch her attention. He watched as she stalked away, her irritation clear in the way she carried herself. He was left standing there, looking lost and utterly baffled, with a plastic tray in his hand.

30th of June.

It wasn’t long until another girl joined the team. Ellie was now responsible for introducing the new member and orienting her to the job. She meticulously explained all the rules and how everything worked, ensuring the new girl was well-prepared and well-trained for the job. Otherwise, you’d be on her ass about it, blaming the auburnette for any mistakes, just like you normally did. 

Ellie was initially hesitant, nervously stumbling over her words and avoiding the girl’s Lapis lazuli gaze. However, as time passed, she began to feel more at ease in the blonde's presence. Alexis exuded sweetness and was undeniably beautiful. They found their usual spot by the lifeguard station, sitting side by side and engaging in conversations that meandered through various topics. As they talked, their gazes wandered idly across the bustling pools, and a gentle breeze enveloped them, offering a pleasant sensation on their sun-warmed skin.

The weather was perfect. The gentle breeze kept the air just the right temperature, and the sunshine was warm without being too intense. Fluffy white clouds floated by, offering a welcome break from the direct sunlight. Their billowing forms shielded the freckled girl from the harsh rays that might otherwise have left her fair skin burnt and uncomfortable.

She had not set out intending to forge new friendships that summer. Although It felt too soon to label Alexis as a friend, she didn’t mind the possibility of meeting new people. Though she treasured her current friends, there were times when she craved the fresh energy that came with forming new connections. She recognized that stepping out of her comfort zone and meeting new faces could bring a welcome change, and she needed to ‘expand her social horizons’—Joel’s words.

However, you didn’t waste a second. You quickly disrupted Ellie’s fleeting moment of peace, shouting her name loudly and incessantly. Initially, she tried to ignore you, hoping you would give up and leave her be. But you persisted, standing by the bar, leaning against the counter, and chanting her name. When she feigned deafness, you resorted to using your trusty megaphone, the latest object of your obsession, employing it for seemingly every trivial matter.

"Eleanor Williams!”

She closed her eyes and cringed inwardly as her cheeks flushed a bright pink, embarrassed by the unwanted attention she was receiving from the onlookers around her. Their confused glances only added to her discomfort, making her wish for the ground to swallow her up on the spot.

Why did you have to be like this? She stopped asking herself that at some point.

Alexis furrowed her perfectly arched brows, her crystal blue eyes filled with puzzlement as she gazed at Ellie. Her head tilted gracefully to the side, highlighting her confusion as she asked, “Who’s Eleanor?”

“It’s me.” Ellie let out a heavy sigh, slowly rising from her pristine plastic chair, her gaze shifting downwards to the small, delicate figure of the girl before her, muttering, “Be right back,” 

She strode cautiously towards you, avoiding eye contact with everyone looking at her. Every step she took brought her closer to you, but your relentless shouting through the megaphone continued unabated. 

“How many times do I have to shout your name?” You stood with an air of drama, waving your hands in sweeping arcs above you. Your body swayed gently as you shifted your weight to one foot, and your free hand found its place resting comfortably on your hip.

“Once was enough,” Ellie replied flatly. The tension in her expression hinted at the internal dialogue she had engaged in as if she had carefully composed herself, steeling her mind and heart for whatever was coming.

“The fuck are you doing?” You stood there, gazing blankly at her. A hand rested on your left hip, mirroring the other hand on your right hip. The white megaphone was wedged against your side, the loose laces of the bottom of your bikini swaying gently in the breeze.

“What do you mean?” 

“Why are you just sitting there doing absolutely nothing?” you demanded, cutting her off as she tried to reply. “See those ladies over there? They ordered four diet cokes.”

“And?” She pressed her lips together, her eyebrows furrowing as she stared at you, confused.

“So get them their drinks—Gosh! Are you, like, stupid?” You exclaimed with annoyance, the frustration evident in your voice. Ellie’s brows, marked with scars, furrowed as she prepared to engage in a heated argument. “You… drinks… ladies over there… diet coke. Understand?” With a slow and exaggerated mocking tone, as if talking to an alien from outer space.

Ellie’s veiny arms were tightly crossed over her vibrant red t-shirt, creating a striking contrast against her fair skin. A look of determination furrowed her brow, her cheeks flushing as red as a ripe tomato, betraying her attempt to maintain composure and not cause any scene. “I’m a lifeguard,” she reminded you.

You couldn't help but stifle a dry chuckle as the corners of your lips curled up into a smile at her statement, practically laughing in her face. Stepping closer to her, you couldn't contain your amusement, “Look,” you said with a grin, your eyes fixated on the pool. The vibrant scene unfolded before you—children playing and swimming while adults engaged in animated conversations. 

Ellie turned around, following your gaze, and then turned her face back to yours, clearly not comprehending what you were referring to. “Look at what?” She found herself unable to resist the urge to question you again, the slight edge of irritation creeping into her voice, her patience wearing thin with each passing moment.

“Exactly—no one’s drowning.” You pointed to the lively pool, the laughter and chatter filling the air. Her gaze remained fixed on the scene before her, and her peripheral vision tracked you as you leaned in close to her. Your warm breath tickled the side of her neck, and she involuntarily shivered at the sensation. The auburnette froze in place, feeling your face mere inches away from her ear, “You’re not just a lifeguard. You’re whatever I want you to be,” you said, your voice a sinister hiss in her ear, each word dripping with venomous mockery. The corners of your mouth curled upwards into a prideful grin, your eyes gleaming with dark satisfaction as you reveled in your power over her. She fought the urge to wipe that irritating expression off your stupid face. You were extremely gorgeous but so insanely maddening at the same time.

She clenched her jaw in frustration, her gaze following you as you sauntered away to talk to an older woman who was a regular at the pool with her child. Her self-admonishment grew when she caught herself checking you out, her eyes taking in the softness of your thighs, hips, and the inviting roundness of your ass. She hated herself even more for her body’s instinctive reaction to such a vision, a mixture of conflicting emotions coursing through her.

4th Of July.

The day was oppressively hot, and the pool was more crowded than usual, adding to the chaos. Ellie constantly moved back and forth, attending to tasks she had not anticipated having to do. When she applied for the job, she had envisioned a laid-back role where she could relax, sit on her ass and move only when necessary. Cause the chances of anyone drowning in a pool were very low, let’s be realistic. Instead, you proved her wrong, forcing trusting her with responsibilities that didn’t belong on her shoulders.

What truly frustrated her was how you remained still, doing absolutely nothing, while constantly barking orders and yelling at everyone around you. It drove the green-eyed girl crazy to witness how effortlessly you directed others without lifting a finger yourself.

Ellie collected the empty beer cans two men had left on the black countertop, wiping sweat from her forehead with her other arm, baby hairs sticking to her damp skin. She couldn’t help but scoff as she observed you from a distance. You were near the pool, lounging casually on a towel with your arms propping you up behind your back, engaged in animated conversation with your friends. You giggled loudly every now and then, amused by the hurtful comments your friends made about people who remained blissfully unaware of their disdainful stares.

Judgmental snakes that acted as if no one could measure up to or surpass them. It absolutely infuriated her. She loathed how you and those kids seemed to effortlessly receive everything you desired on a silver platter, while average people like her had to labor relentlessly for anything she hoped to achieve in her life.

It wasn't actually the wealth itself that angered her; rather, it was the blatant arrogance and smugness you all displayed, as if being wealthy automatically made you superior individuals with no moral values or empathy for anyone else.

Nevertheless, you had stunned her with your choice of attire that day—a two-piece bikini that revealed your captivating figure. Despite feeling frustrated that she couldn't catch a break while you lounged around doing nothing, she couldn't help but admire your otherworldly physique. Yet, it was wrong to feel that way about a piece of shit like you.

“Glad someone’s keeping her busy,” Alexis’ voice acted like an invisible tug on Ellie's sleeve, pulling her back from her thoughts. The freckled girl shook her head as if trying to clear her mind and curiously responded with a quiet “hm?”

“Too busy shit-talking with her friends to be up our ass,” The honey-haired girl carefully adjusted her hair, tucking a stray piece of golden hair behind her pierced ear. Ellie couldn’t help but quietly chuckle at the girl’s remark, responding with a warm smile and a subtle bob of her head.

“Right? I don’t understand how they haven’t kicked her out yet; she does nothing all day!” she complained as the blonde behind the countertop meticulously cleaned up the spill on the sleek black marble surface, casting a quizzical gaze in her direction.

“Kick who out?”

“Y/N.” Ellie leaned her forearms on the countertop, her gaze locked onto her blue ones.

Alexis let out a scoff and gave her a look “Why would her father kick her out?” Ellie’s eyes widened in surprise, her voice strangled as she almost choked on the air she was breathing. The incredulity in her expression was palpable, a clear indication that she had no fucking clue.

“What’d you say?” She questioned tentatively, inwardly hoping that her ears were merely playing tricks on her. The disbelief in her voice was evident as she tried to make sense of the shocking revelation she had just heard.

“She owns this place—you didn’t know?” Alexis asked in disbelief, speaking as if the information were common knowledge, which made it all the more surprising that Ellie was unaware of it.

But given your wealthy background and how you carried yourself, it suddenly made perfect sense. Everything fell into place. Your commanding presence wasn't just a show of authority—you actually owned this entire establishment. You weren't striving to save money for some personal goal as Ellie had assumed; rather, you were here because your family had ownership over the pool, the spa nearby, and every other facility in this area.

“Dude, I had no fucking clue,” she uttered, flabbergasted, her emerald green eyes darting in your direction as a gentle breeze played with the soft, auburn strands of her hair, tickling her face. 

The freckled girl observed the scene unfolding before her, her eyes fixed on the tall, muscular guy approaching your small group, a golden retriever trotting loyally at his side. Despite his sunglasses, she could sense his gaze fixated on you, and when you stood up to greet him, she watched your lips move but couldn't discern any words. Her thoughts were interrupted by Alexis's rambling, but her attention quickly shifted back to you as the guy started to engage in conversation with you, her stomach twisting in a strange flutter of unease.

“Are dogs even allowed in here?” was the first thing Ellie grumbled, her irritation evident as she interrupted her friend's rambling monologue. It was clear that she wasn't really paying attention to what was being said, her mind preoccupied with other thoughts.

“Pshh—when I wanted to bring my dog in here, she said I couldn't.” Alexis huffed, passing a popsicle to the young boy who had approached and requested it. A small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth before storming off with his little brother. “Had to leave my Nana home with-” But Ellie wasn't having it. She was already storming towards you, her green eyes flashing with anger and determination. You had alwas doled out rules yet seemed to disregard them yourself. She didn't care if you owned the place and had the authority to do as you pleased. As far as she was concerned, you needed to adhere to the standards you had set, and she was determined to make that happen… and she wanted that guy gone. 

Your two friends remained laid out on their towels, one sipping on a cocktail and the other engaged in a gossip session, their conversation marked by animated gestures. However, as Ellie approached, they immediately took notice. This time, she paid no mind to their gazes, instead stomping up to stand just behind you, her arms crossed in a defensive stance. Meanwhile, you were oblivious to her presence, completely unaware of her lurking behind you.

You knelt down to give the guy's dog some attention, running your fingers through its soft fur and scratching behind its ears. You continued to pet the dog, a sweet smile gracing your lips, “Such a cute fuckin’ dog, aren’t ya?” Ellie listened as you let out a low chuckle, your voice dropping into a silly tone as you spoke to the dog. The pup seemed to perk up at your voice, tilting her head slightly to the side as you found the sweet spot behind her ear, causing her to lean into your touch and let out a soft whine. “Like owner, like dog.” You looked up at the guy, your voice taking on a more flirtatious tone than Ellie had ever heard you use before. Your eyes sparkled with a hint of innocence as you slowly stood back up.

The sleazy guy chuckled, a gravelly sound that echoed into Ellie's ears, threatening to make them bleed. It was incredible how, with just a hint of attention, you made him feel like he'd struck gold in a barren desert. You barely gave him the time of day, but that sliver of acknowledgment had him grinning like he’d just hit the jackpot. 

The boy’s eyes were glued to your chest, drooling over your perfect goddamn tits as if he'd discovered a hidden treasure in the most unexpected place. You were a twisted goddess of fortune, and he was more than happy to worship, soaking up every precious moment with a grin that said he’d do anything to stay in this heavenly hell. But all you needed was his weed, and while he was fantasizing about you, you were already thinking of dumping his ass when you didn't need him anymore. 

“What’s her name?” You flashed him a charming smile as you spoke, tilting your head slightly to one side as you looked up at him with a coy expression.

“Nelly,” He replied, pulling up his sunglasses, his brown eyes devouring every curve of your body without a hint of shame. He was eye-fucking you like it was just another day, and Ellie felt the bile rise in her throat. Men never ceased to amaze her; they were all disgusting, perverted assholes hiding behind a thin veil of chill and manners. What pissed her off even more was that you were letting it happen. You were into it. You reveled in the attention, loving every second of being liked, as if his filthy gaze was some kind of twisted validation. 

Was that what you needed? Validation?

Ellie decided to chime in, clearing her throat loudly. Your head snapped her way, surprise lighting up your sun-kissed features. Your carefully styled hair tumbling down your back—just one of the many things about you that baffled her. Why the hell would you spend time styling your hair every morning just to go to the pool? The heat and sweat would mess it up anyway. It was like trying to keep a snowman from melting in a sauna, completely pointless, but somehow, you did it every damn day.

“Dogs aren’t allowed.” The aburnette firmly stated, her words hanging in the air, drawing confused looks from you and the guy as if she were speaking a different language. But Ellie didn’t give a damn; she was just doing her job. Her mission was to keep everyone in line, making sure the rules were followed to the letter. That’s what your daddy was paying her for, right? 

You quickly brushed off her statement, returning your attention to the guy before you. “Nelly, huh?” you questioned with a wide smile, your eyes flicking to the dog patiently sitting at her owner’s feet. Her golden fur gleamed under the sunlight, her eyes a beautiful honey color. 

Ellie didn’t have anything against the dog; she loved dogs and had always wanted one. But that dude needed to fuck off. She couldn’t even put her finger on why she felt this way, so irritated and annoyed, like an itch she couldn’t scratch. The sight of you flirting with that douchebag made her blood boil, leaving her wondering why it all pissed her off so much.

“Just like my friend here.” You suddenly exclaimed, your fake, cheerful voice, cutting through the tense atmosphere and snapping Ellie out of her turbulent thoughts. 

“My name’s not—” she began, but you shut her off, waving a dismissive hand in her direction.

“Yeah, yeah. Nelly, Ellie… same thing,” you scoffed, your eyes still locked on the guy by the pool. “So I was saying…” Your voice dropped to a sultry whisper as you bit your lip, scanning him up and down, fingers gently tracing the contours of his strong arm. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, eyes shamelessly glued to your cleavage, never quite making it to your face.

“Dogs aren’t—” Ellie tried again, her voice a persistent drone in the background.

“Don’t forget my stuff,” you whispered in his ear. You batted your lashes at him as you pulled back, your gaze locking with his. Ellie’s disgusted glare darted between you and him, her lips pressed into a tight line.

“I won’t. See you later?” 

“Hmm-hmm. See you later, handsome.” Your voice was honey-sweet, dripping with fake affection, and the guy seemed utterly spellbound, his eyes never straying from your body.

Ellie huffed loudly, the sound almost lost in the noise of the poolside chatter, and you turned to face her, annoyance flashing across your features. You reached for the expensive sunglasses dangling from your bikini top and slid them on with practiced ease.

“Jesus, Ellen, got nothing better to do?” you grumbled, your tone laced with irritation and disdain.

“Dogs aren’t allowed,” Ellie repeated, her voice steady but tinged with frustration. She stood there, arms crossed, an immovable wall of resolve.

“Are you done? Because you’re starting to behave like a bot. Maybe hanging out with Alexa over there is rubbing off on you,” you sneered, turning your back on her with a dismissive wave. You strolled back to your friends, who were whispering among themselves, their eyes darting towards Ellie with thinly veiled amusement.

She turned away, ready to resume her duties, but your voice, dripping with venom, sliced through her ears.

“Have you seen her?” one of your friends giggled, their voice a conspiratorial whisper.

“She’s so embarrassing, oh my god,” another chimed in, their laughter bubbling up like champagne.

“Embarrassing is an understatement,” you commented without missing a beat, your voice carrying a sharp edge. 

Ellie could feel the sting of your words, each one like a tiny drop of acid, smoldering away her already fragile self-esteem. She knew your cruel comments spared no one, yet hurt still bloomed in her chest, a dull ache that refused to fade. You loosed a laugh, a sound that blended sweet melody with sinister intent, leaving her captivated and repulsed. The echoes of your laugh, mingled with the cruel whispers of your friends, reverberated in her mind, morphing into a haunting, chilling soundtrack to her nightmares as she made her way back to her busy friend behind the counter.

“How’d it go?” Alexis questioned, her voice tinged with genuine concern as she handed Ellie a cup of sweetened tea. The blonde girl's eyes roamed across Ellie's face, taking in the tense, almost pained expression that twisted her features, preparing herself for the worst. 

“Amazing,” Ellie responded with a hefty helping of sarcasm, quickly downing the drink. She then slumped onto a stool at the bar, her elbows roughly digging into the cold, unyielding surface of the marble counter.

The shorter girl behind the bar chuckled softly, her laughter a soothing balm in the tense atmosphere. “You coming tonight?”

A look of perplexity etched on her face. The line marring her brow looked like a work of art that the blue-eyed friend couldn’t help but admire. “Coming where?”

“In your underwear—” Alexis deadpanned, before bursting into snorts of laughter at Ellie’s flushed cheeks, her reaction priceless. “To the party,” The silken strands of hair framing her face bounced as she spoke more seriously, her hands deftly collecting cups left by the sink, preparing to give them a proper wash.

“Party?”

“The whole staff is invited,” the blonde explained, her voice a melodic mix of excitement and mischief. “But no annoying kids around; The Bitch said we can use the pool.” Ellie couldn’t help but let out a small, crooked smile of her own at the name her friend had bestowed upon you. “You should come, Ellie. It’ll be fun,” Her voice was full of genuine enthusiasm as she scrubbed the cups with vigor, the water splashing slightly.

The redhead shrugged, still feeling the sting of your earlier words. “I don’t know, Lex. I’m not really in the mood.” Truth was that she didn’t want to spend a second more around you, especially outside work.

Alexis paused, her hands resting on the edge of the sink, eyes locking onto her friend’s. “Hey, don’t let her get to you. She’s just... Well, you know how she is. Come to the party, have some fun.”

She sighed again, the tension slowly easing from her shoulders. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

“Atta girl,” she grinned, resuming her task with renewed energy. “Trust me, you’ll feel better after a few drinks and a good swim.”

Ellie chuckled softly, the corners of her lips twitching upwards. Maybe Alexis was right. Maybe a night of fun was exactly what she needed to shake off the day’s negativity. The thought of the party, with its promise of laughter and freedom, was a small but welcome spark of light in the otherwise dark cloud of her thoughts. She sure as hell wasn’t going to let you ruin her day.

4th of July, The evening.

Ellie despised parties and loathed crowds even more, as they left her feeling left out and isolated in an unfamiliar environment. She longed to escape back to the comfort of her home, but that choice was unfortunately not an option for her tonight. The pale girl ended up giving in because of Dina and Alexis, who insisted so much that Ellie finally relented. She was almost physically dragged to the same pool where she worked, but this time for a different reason. It was to have fun and actually enjoy the pool, something she rarely did.

The pool was enormous, the kind that looked like only the wealthy could access, but luckily, it wasn’t expensive to spend a weekend there. The pool area was beautifully maintained, with lush greenery and elegant lounge chairs neatly arranged around the perimeter. It was a stark contrast to Ellie’s usual experience of scanning the water for trouble and scolding unruly kids.

She was almost happy to be there to enjoy some fresh air and lounge by the pool instead of acting like a barista and waitress—a job she had not signed up for. The redhead took a deep breath, feeling the warm sun on her skin, watching the water sparkle under the midday sun, inviting and cool. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. The air was filled with the scent of sunscreen and chlorine, a familiar but somehow more pleasant combination today.

The group of friends settled into their lounge chairs, and Ellie let herself relax, her freckled shoulders sinking into the cushioned seat. For once, she didn’t have to worry about keeping an eye on everyone. She could just be a regular person enjoying a day by the pool.

The afternoon slowly turned to evening as the group passed around drinks and joints, creating a relaxed atmosphere. Ellie sat at the pool's edge, letting her feet dangle in the cool water, engrossed in a lively conversation with Dina and Alexis, who were seated beside her. The setting sun painted the sky with a golden hue, casting a warm glow over them. 

She had only taken a few hits off her joint, and already, she couldn’t focus on anything but your thighs. The way those shorts hugged your hips and left the soft skin of your thighs exposed for everyone to see was simply captivating. They looked as soft as silk. You wore nothing on top but a black bikini, your crop top on one of the empty lounge chairs nearby. 

All noise—the incessant chattering of her friends and random people you had invited—faded into the background. You were the only thing that mattered. The way you moved, talked, and gave that stupid jerk sitting by your side a charming grin that surely made him believe he somehow stood a chance drove Ellie crazy. 

What a dick, she thought to herself. 

Ellie’s friends continued to talk and laugh, oblivious to her inner turmoil. Her eyes flickered to her friends and then back to you. You passed a joint to Ryan, who took it eagerly, his eyes glued to your face for once.

It was as clear as day that Ryan wanted to fuck you right there and then. Ellie recognized the look in his eyes; it was the same one she had whenever she looked at you—or so Dina claimed. But you were so hypnotizing. The way your plush wet lips wrapped around the joint, taking big hits like it was nothing—no coughing, no hesitation. It wasn’t your first time.

Ellie observed the brown-eyed boy attentively, almost maniacally, noting how his eyes never left your tits. And how you didn’t seem to mind. You almost seemed at ease with the knowledge of being liked, desired. That also meant free weed for everyone. She watched you laugh, the sound like a siren call that cut through the buzz around her. The besotten girl couldn't tear her eyes away from the way your hair fell over your shoulders, catching the last light of the setting sun, giving you an almost angelic glow. You seemed so comfortable, so effortlessly part of this world of social interactions and causal flirtations. You wore your confidence like a second skin, and Ellie found herself drawn to it, like a moth who gravitated towards danger without second thought.

Seeing Ryan, who sat next to you, soaking up your attention, caused a pang of jealousy to hit Ellie. She longed to be the person who held all of your attention, but instead, she was just an outsider looking in. 

The evening air grew cooler, but Ellie hardly noticed, her focus remained solely fixed on you. The world around her seemed to blur, and all she could see was the curve of your lips, the softness of your skin, the sparkle in your eyes. She took another drag from her joint, trying to calm her racing heart. The weed did little to dull her intense focus on you. If anything, it sharpened her awareness of every detail, every movement. Although she yearned to be closer to you, she knew it was never going to happen, not even in a million years, and this awareness only fueled her inability to look away. So, all she could do was watch, caught in the spell you had casted over her against her will.

Ellie felt her throat go dry, as if suddenly all the water on the planet had evaporated, leaving her parched. It was only when Alexis nudged her that she snapped out of her trance, her red, half-lidded eyes refocusing on the blonde girl beside her. Alexis was too close, causing Ellie to shift uncomfortably, creating some distance.

Why was she focusing on you anyway? Alexis had been by her side the whole night, trying to talk to her and being overall extremely nice. But for some reason, it felt like getting a taste of something that was missing salt; it was flavorless. Alexis was sweet and nice—they even liked the same things, for God’s sake. A girl who liked the same comics as her? It was almost a canon event. But, of course, fate had other plans for Ellie because she wasn’t interested in Alexis. In fact, she found her presence almost… annoying. She mentally kicked herself for even thinking of Alexis that way. She was such a kind girl, just trying to be friends—maybe more—but Ellie couldn’t care less.

She knew it was ridiculous, this unrequited fascination with you. Yet, she couldn’t help herself. You were like a star, dazzling and distant, while Alexis, kind and warm, was like a candle—close and comforting but not enough to hold Ellie’s attention.

Ellie wanted to desperately feel something for Alexis, to reciprocate her kindness and interest, but it felt forced. She sighed, running a hand through her messy auburn hair. It was in moments like these she realized how messed up she was for always chasing people who couldn’t care less about her. She felt a pang of guilt for not appreciating Alexis, who was right there, trying her best to connect while her thoughts constantly drifted back to you. You were like a magnet, pulling her attention away from everything and everyone else.

She couldn't exactly recall how they all ended up disgustingly high, sitting in a circle and playing a stupid game of truth or dare like high schoolers. It was such a childish game, but here they were. Her eyes were fixed on the bottle as if her life depended on it, and when it landed on you, she started praying in every language she knew—though her repertoire was limited to English, and she didn't even know how to pray.

The auburnette had never been particularly religious; she didn’t even believe in luck or fate. She wasn’t sure what she believed in, preferring things she could see, things that were scientifically proven. So she didn’t know what the hell she was doing, always praying and hoping that you’d talk to her, act differently, maybe even like her. You were just you, and no amount of mental manifestation seemed enough for you to actually see her.

It was bullshit. It was even more bullshit when the bottle landed on that stupid guy who had been thirsting over you the entire night, practically drooling over your body. Ellie couldn’t look away, not even when the kiss turned into a full-blown make-out session right in front of everyone—right in front of her. His callous and hungry hands pulled you close, letting them roam over your body, your ass, your waist, while you wrapped your arms around his neck.

The sight of his hands exploring your body, of your lips moving against his with such abandon, was almost too much to bear. The green-eyed girl glanced around the circle, noting the mix of reactions—some amused, some awkwardly averting their gaze. But Ellie’s eyes were drawn back to you, unable to tear herself away from the sight of your bodies intertwined. His hands caressed the bare skin of your back, and Ellie felt a pang of envy so sharp it was almost physical. The makeout session seemed to stretch on forever, and once it was over, it kept replaying like a broken record in her sick mind, an agonizing reminder of what she couldn’t have. 

The green bottle spun on the mosaic again and again, its movements blending into a rapid blur on the floor. Ellie sat there, though completely absent; she felt as if she were a million miles away, her surroundings slowly fading into an enveloping fog, the Silent Hill kind.

Jesse nudged her gently, his voice breaking through her thoughts in a friendly but insistent manner. “Dude, you with us?” His words jolted her back to reality, piercing through the haze that had enveloped her mind. She blinked, her eyes snapping to his dark chocolate pools.

Following his gaze to the floor, her eyes landed on the bottle, its neck pointing directly at her. A fleeting moment of surprise flickered across her face, her heart skipping a beat as she realized she was the chosen one.

The word “Dare” burst out of her mouth before she could even process what she was saying. Immediately, she regretted it; the cinnamon-haired girl wasn’t exactly as gutsy as she sometimes pretended to be. 

And as fate would have it, the bottle’s spin ended on the very person she least wanted it to. Alexis.

Her scarred eyebrows pinched together in a disappointed frown, an unexpected dryness creeping into her mouth. With sluggish movements that felt almost like wading through molasses, Ellie slowly turned to face the girl beside her, the moonlight casting a soft glow over her blonde locks. Alexis's eyes sparkled with mischief, her lips curving into a wide grin as she scooted closer. Ellie remained rooted to her spot, frozen in place, unable to bring herself to move.

Ellie failed to notice that your gaze, as cold and piercing as ice, was fixed on her with persistent intensity. Your eyes narrowed slightly, a flicker of annoyance shadowing your features. 

Both girls knelt face to face, and Alexis quickly placed her hand on her waist and leaned in eagerly for a kiss. However, just as their lips met, Ellie pulled away and gave her just a gentle peck. A collective boooo rang out from the surrounding crowd, expressing their disapproval at the briefness of the kiss.

Their eyes met, Alexis' blue eyes locking with hers, holding a hint of confusion. The group around them kept urging them to kiss properly, their voices chanting and encouraging them to go further. When her gaze shifted to the crowd, Ellie's gaze inadvertently locked with yours for a moment. Your eyes were fixated on her with a harsh, almost murderous glare, as if you wanted to rip her apart that very instant.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss,”

“Ohhh come on! We want a proper kiss!”

“I love lesbian porn.”

“Is lesbian porn even real?”

When Ellie broke eye contact and turned back to the golden-haired girl before her, she saw a look of remorse plastered on her face, as if she feared she had crossed a boundary. “We don't have-” But before she could finish her sentence, Ellie silenced her by pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. Hovering over her, she gripped her by the waist, pulling her closer. Despite her efforts, though, kissing her felt almost nausea-inducing.

You didn't look away. Every second of Ellie and Alexis’ kiss was captured in the harsh, judgmental glare of your eyes. There was something almost perverse in how you watched, a blend of disgust and fascination twisting your expression. Ellie remained completely unaware of your intense observation, failing to notice the envy in your gaze and the deep-seated jealousy that gripped your stomach. Even if the redhead had detected your jealousy, she would have dismissed it as sheer animosity, failing to recognize the depth of your emotions. Just like she always did.

As the kiss ended, a huge, dumbstruck grin spread across her friend’s face, her eyes sparkling with joy like the myriad stars above them. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was slightly out of breath, clearly enjoying the moment. Ellie, on the other hand, had a look of regret and shock on her face, almost as if she was questioning every decision she had ever made in her life, a look that the blonde didn’t seem to catch on.

Ellie found it increasingly difficult to focus on the mindless dares and ridiculous questions being thrown around, her brain enveloped in a cloud of weed-induced haze. The substance in her system had relaxed her muscles to the extent that she felt like she was constantly on the verge of having an ‘accident.’

“I feel like I’m gonna piss myself—Did I piss myself?” Ellie mumbled softly into Dina’s ear, her words barely audible. Dina's dark eyes darted toward her friend’s lap, discreetly scanning for any signs of wet spots on her shorts, but there was nothing. In response, she shook her head while offering Ellie a small, sympathetic shrug and a lopsided smile that conveyed reassurance, her sleek ponytail swaying gracefully with the movement.

“You’re good,” her speech was slightly slurred, her words stumbling over each other as if she was struggling to articulate.

“Feels like my bladder gave up on me,” she grumbled, the damp spot in her boxers growing increasingly irritating. She harbored an unstoppable belief that she had, in fact, peed herself. The thought was persistent, a nagging paranoia that refused to go away no matter how much her friend had reassured her otherwise.

Dina’s perfectly shaped arches furrowed as she attempted to make sense of Ellie's slowed-down speech. The combination of alcohol and weed was a little too much for Dina to handle, as she struggled to comprehend what Ellie was saying. Thankfully, her boyfriend, who was much more sober, was there to keep a watchful eye on her. “Why aren’t you wearing a diaper?” she casually inquired, as if the redhead sitting beside her had worn them before.

“Uh, no? Why would I?” Ellie mimicked Dina’s confused expression.

“Don’t you, usually?” Her face was a portrait of genuine puzzlement.

Her auburn eyebrows drew together in puzzled bewilderment as she mulled over Dina’s query for a second or two, as if she didn’t quite know the answer herself. She started to respond, “Isn’t it too soon t—” but her words trailed off, replaced by an exasperated sigh. “Be right back,” she whispered, realizing it was futile to try talking to her friend, who was as high as gas prices.

The haze of weed and alcohol made everything feel surreal, like she was wading through a thick fog. Ellie’s mind was a chaotic mess, each thought bumping into the next. She stood up, her surroundings swaying slightly as she made her way to the back of the bar, walking around it. Even though she had worked there for quite some time and had likely been aware of the door behind the counters that led to the back of the building all along, she still decided to act like a mindless artificial intelligence bot instead. 

You watched Ellie attentively, your eyes trailing her every move. The perfect excuse to get up from the circle was getting more beer. Ryan, ever eager, immediately offered to help, seizing the opportunity to be alone with you. 

But God, who the fuck wanted his disgusting hands all over you?

Ryan was a means to an end, nothing more. You needed him for the weed, and you planned to ghost him the second you didn’t need him anymore. Weed was weed, and you’d do anything for free joints, spinning promises you had no intention of keeping. But guilt? That was a foreign concept to you. Playing people was your specialty: using them, manipulating them, treating men like him like obedient, panting pups. They were so eager, so desperate for your attention, that they'd leap at the chance to please you, dancing to your every whim. You took delight in their stupidity, toying with them to your liking. It was all fun until you got bored; then you’d dump them without a second thought, leaving them to wonder what they did wrong. 

They were all the same. No one ever stood out to you; each encounter a cold calculation. Men like Ryan were just pawns, easily replaceable, utterly expendable, tools to be used and discarded. You enjoyed the control, how they bent to your will, the thrill of watching them scramble for your approval.

Your mind, slightly hazy from the weed and alcohol, felt both razor-sharp and wonderfully numb. You didn’t exactly know what you were thinking as your hand hovered hesitantly over the doorknob leading to the back of the bar. You looked over your shoulder to ensure no one saw you slip through the door.

You stepped out just as Ellie stumbled out of the bathroom, her movements faltering briefly when she laid eyes on you. While in the bathroom, she realized that she wasn’t going to piss herself; she was just fucking horny from all the weed she had smoked—it always had that effect on her—and seeing you made the effects even worse. Her green eyes widened for a moment, resembling a cat's eyes caught in the headlights rather than those of a deer. However, she swiftly recomposed herself, continuing to walk without acknowledging your presence. As if you didn't exist, as if she couldn't see you.

“Hey,” You called out, your voice cutting through the damp night air, but Ellie ignored you. Her steps quickened as she walked past you, her gaze fixed ahead as if you were a mere ghost haunting her path. Conversations between you two had never been normal. She was high as hell and enjoying herself for once; the last thing she wanted was another night ruined by your incessant arguing and your inability to grasp the concept of kindness. With determined steps, Ellie headed for the door that led inside the bar, your eyes lingering on the intricate tattoo on her forearm, which reached for the handle with purpose.

Just as Ellie’s fingers glided over the cold metal, your hand grasped her other arm forcefully, the strength surprising even yourself. With a sudden, harsh move, you slammed her against the wall. “What the fuu-” she cursed under her breath as she flinched at the sudden impact of her back against the brick wall, but you abruptly silenced her. You detested being ignored more than anything else. You were accustomed to always receiving attention, with people hanging on your every word and making you the focus of their world. The sensation of being ignored felt completely alien to you.

“I said hey,” You repeated, this time your voice was harsher. Ellie’s eyes, a mesmerizing shade of green, seemed to sparkle in the moonlight, resembling glistening emeralds. Her dilated pupils looked like deep black voids that threatened to swallow you whole. Despite the visible signs of confusion and irritation on her face, an unmistakable sense of intrigue emanated from her, one that didn't go unnoticed by you, and a sly smirk played at the corner of your lips in response.

“Yeah, I’ve heard you.” She retorted, annoyed and sarcastic, though her voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper.

“Yeah? Didn’t seem like it,” you quipped, flashing a mischievous smile as you leaned closer, effectively trapping her against the wall. Your body hovered over hers, your arm positioned menacingly next to her head, the gap between you growing increasingly smaller. Ellie felt a lump form in her throat as she swallowed nervously, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of her chest. Her hands trembled at the sudden proximity, and her breath caught in her throat. She leaned against the wall, her body flattened as if trying to put as much space as she could between the two of you by melding into it. The distance between you had never been this small, your body practically looming over hers, encasing her against the wall. Her mind spun as your scent filled her nostrils, a dizzying mix of musk and something else that drove her insane; pheromones, perhaps? “What, you ignoring me now?” 

“No, ‘m no-”

“Yes, you are,” Your intense gaze made her skin tingle, as if deciphering her every thought and emotion swirling in her mind, “Don’t you wanna talk to me?” Your voice took on an innocent, almost petulant tone as you pouted, sticking out your lower lip and batting your eyelashes at her. 

The dim light cast long shadows, dancing across the rough brick wall. The scent of sweat, alcohol, weed, and something else—something electric—filled the space between you. 

“I don’t wanna argue,” the aburnette immediately replied, sighing as if to release the tension that had been building up in her system only due to your closeness. It was crazy how much power you had over her despite her trying to convince herself that she despised you because of your ugly attitude.

“Oh, baby, I don't wanna fight either.” Ellie's heart raced as she struggled to process the pet name that effortlessly rolled off your tongue. Her eyes frantically scanned her surroundings, longing for an exit that simply wasn't there. She could have easily distanced herself from you, pushed you away even, but she found herself drawn to the attention and the intimacy, both captivated and unsettled by the closeness. The warmth emanating from your body enveloped her, and the sheer force of your presence overwhelmed her senses. As her pulse quickened, the rhythm of each beat echoed loudly in her ears. Just as Ellie started to gather her thoughts, you gently lifted her chin, compelling her to meet your gaze. A delicate auburn strand of hair fell across her face, “Did you like it?” you suddenly interrogated her, reaching out to gently tuck the stray strand behind her ear.

“Like what?” she questioned back, her brow furrowed in confusion. Her voice sounded weak, and you could sense how your words made her feel small, even though it had nothing to do with height.

“The kiss—is she a good kisser?” your gaze fixed on her lips as your thumb traced a gentle path over her bottom lip.

Ellie let out a disapproving tsk as she pulled her face out of your grasp, causing your hand to drop limply to your side. “Why do you care?” Her question prompted you to glance back into her eyes. She was surprised by the intense yet gentle expression on your face. For once, you weren’t shouting at her, teasing her, or being a bitch.

“‘Cause I think you could do so much better,”

She couldn't fathom the words you were speaking or understand why you were studying her every detail as if inspecting a precious work of art, gazing at her as if she were a masterpiece rather than an inferior being. It made the freckled girl’s stomach twist with excitement and nervousness. A blush crept across her star-speckled cheeks as your eyes found their way back to her lips, and she unconsciously ran her tongue over them. It was at that moment that you leaned in, pressing your plump lips against hers in a hungry, demanding kiss.

As your lips met hers, Ellie felt like she was about to dissolve into a puddle. The texture of your lips was indescribably soft, almost as if they were crafted specifically for her. Initially, she was too stunned to reciprocate the kiss; her eyes widened in shock, resembling those of a startled cat thrown in a bathtub. Her breath hitched, and for a moment, it felt as though her heart had ceased to beat; she was certain that if a doctor had measured her pulse at that instant, they would have deemed her deceased.

It took her a few moments to process the reality of the situation. The girl she had been pining over for ages—and that also made her life miserable—was kissing her. She couldn't be certain whether it was the effect of the weed she had consumed—perhaps she had blacked out in the bathroom, and all of this was simply a figment of her imagination—but as soon as Ellie felt your gentle hands drawing her in closer by the waist, she was certain that it was all too real.

She could feel your heartbeat, the heat emanating off your skin, your lips moving against hers. It was like stepping into a new world where everything was heightened and vivid. Your lips, soft and inviting, moved with a grace that left the green-eyed girl breathless. She felt like she was floating, untethered from reality, anchored only by the warmth of your touch. It felt right.

Ellie’s mind raced, thoughts colliding in a frenzy of disbelief and euphoria. How could this be happening? She had spent countless nights dreaming of this moment, and now it was unfolding before her.

Slowly, Ellie’s initial shock faded away, replaced by a surge of boldness. She began to kiss you back, tentatively at first, then with increasing confidence. Her pale hands gripped your face, pulling you impossibly closer, their touch greedy and desperate. She tried to push you off, to reverse the roles, but you pushed her right back against the wall, pinning her in place. Both of you craved control, the conflict only adding to the intensity of your interactions. Neither of you was willing to give up easily, the power play making everything so intoxicating. Ellie sought to put you in your place, to dominate you for once, while you had another fantasy in mind—to see her writhing and squirming under your touch, completely submitted to you. 

Her kisses were fierce and hungry, as if she hadn't tasted anything in days, and you were her first meal. Your lips muffled every delightful sound that escaped her, only serving to make you smile. Her hands tugged at any piece of fabric they could reach—the loops of your shorts, the laces of your bikini—as if trying to bring you even closer. She wanted you desperately, and you knew it. 

You had always known. When you weren't looking, Ellie had been looking. Her fern-green gaze would devour your exposed skin at the pool, filled with an intensity that could not be ignored.

The confirmation that it wasn't just a one-sided desire made you feel all giddy. From the moment she had accidentally bumped into you on the first day of college, you had wanted her. When summer approached and the prospect of more time away from your judgmental friends became a reality, you saw an opportunity. You asked Dina to help recruit more employees, promising her a slight raise in pay. Despite the plan being less than fool-proof and unlikely to succeed, it somehow unfolded exactly how you hoped it would.

Ellie’s breaths came in ragged gasps between the kisses, each one deepening the connection, fueling the fire between you. You could feel her trembling, the tension in her body creating a delightful contrast with the softness of her skin under your touch. Your hands traced the contours of her waist and the subtle dip of her back. Each touch sent a shiver through her, her body responding to your every caress as if it had been waiting for this moment, craving your touch. Her hands emulated your movements, exploring every inch of your body as if she were attempting to commit each curve and line to memory.

You pressed your thigh between her legs, and you swore you could feel the heat of her cunt through the fabric. Ellie’s response was immediate, a moan that vibrated against your mouth as her hips rocked against you in an involuntary, desperate attempt to find friction. The feminine urge to push her further, to test her limits, to make her beg for more almost overwhelmed you.

But Ellie refused to surrender, kissing you harder, more urgently, trying to take control. Her hands found their way to your hair, pulling you closer, her nails slightly scraping your scalp in a way that was both painful and pleasurable, eliciting a moan from you. But you stood your ground, pushing back, your hands gripping her hips tightly, keeping her in place.

You broke the kiss to trail your lips along her jawline and neck, the movement eliciting a gasp of pleasure from her. She leaned her head back against the wall, breathing heavily and unevenly as your hand slipped beneath her white T-shirt. You felt the muscles of her abdomen contract under your touch.

You were almost certain you had never seen her with her shirt off, not even when she was working. She always wore T-shirts and those red, men's style swim trunks when working. Perhaps you had caught a glimpse of her in a sports bra a time or two, but certainly never any more than that. You couldn't understand why Ellie hid so much. If only she could see herself; she was legitimately beautiful, her body toned and strong. But you could never tell under those slightly baggy shirts she always wore. 

Your hand pulled the hem of her shirt up to expose her abdomen as you knelt down, your mouth moving over her stomach, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin, eliciting exaggerated gasps and shudders from her, as if her body had never received the right attention before. 

But as your fingers grazed the waistband of her cargo pants, Ellie suddenly snapped out of her trance, realizing that you were out in the open and at risk of being caught. Her hand pressed against your shoulder, trying to push you away and stop you. You looked up at her, meeting her gaze, her eyes wide and dark and her pupils dilated with desire and tinged with fear. 

“W-we can’t, not here,” Her voice trembled as she spoke, barely above a whisper. Your head tilted, your eyes wide and innocent, your lashes almost touching your brows. Disappointment etched itself across your face, your forehead wrinkled in a frown so adorable that it made it even more difficult for her to deny you. Your expression conveyed a sense of need, of vulnerability, like you were completely dependent on her and needed her. It tugged at Ellie’s heartstrings, making her want to give in immediately.

“No one will see us,” You tried to reassure her, your fingers toying with the waistband of her shorts, but she intercepted your hands, stopping you once more. You huffed in frustration, your gaze flickering to the restroom on your left, then back to her face, hoping she would catch the hint. 

Several minutes later, Ellie found herself perched on the toilet seat, legs spread wide with you kneeling in front of her. The white fabric of her shirt was trapped between her teeth, her desperate attempt to muffle her soft moans proving futile. Ellie’s cheeks were flushed, and the scattered freckles that dusted her damp skin stood out vividly against the pink hue. Her brows were scrunched in pleasure and concentration; her eyes rolled to the back of her cranium before squeezing them shut, trying to chase her third orgasm already.

The sight of Ellie’s sports bra peeking from underneath her shirt and her tensed, toned abs had you drooling all over her pussy. You stared at the aburn-haired girl almost in a trance, captivated by her body as if she were your muse. Her abs were like a sculptor’s masterpiece. Your eyes traced the outline of her bra, the way it clung to her, wishing you could take it off, but you were too impatient to feel her cumming in your mouth again to do that, and you sure as hell weren't going to pull away. Maybe another time.

You could sense every fiber of her being, her body speaking a language you were fluent in that told you exactly what she craved. Your tongue, a delicate pink ribbon, traced her sopping slit with deliberate care, teasing, tasting, before zeroing in on that needy bundle of nerves that demanded your attention, a stifled whine escaping her mouth. Her moans grew louder, each one urging you on.

You devoured Ellie’s saccharine essence like a starved beast, your eyes locked onto her with the intensity of a tiger stalking its prey. Her expressions, a symphony of pleasure and desperation, were a masterpiece you couldn't look away from, your gaze drinking in every nuance of her expression, reveling in her artistry. And it was all for you. The mere thought of that made your cunt twitch in your bikini, which was now completely soaked; its sleek black fabric covered by translucent honey—not for everyone to see.

You danced between flicks of your tongue and alternating gentle, then demanding sucks. Ellie’s clit pulsed wildly in your mouth, her juices anointing your chin like a sacred nectar. She was the best thing you had ever had, not that you would ever admit it out loud to her.

Ellie’s moans were music to your ears, fucking divine, a soundtrack that was most likely going to play at the back of your mind while pleasuring yourself later on whenever you'd go back home. One of her thighs draped over your shoulder, her leg a soft but firm anchor as you wrapped your arm under the other, pulling her closer. Her taste, her very essence, was all-consuming, and you couldn’t get enough. 

Ellie’s teeth finally released the white fabric of her shirt, allowing it to fall back over her toned stomach, her lips swollen and a dazed look in her eyes. “G’na... fuuuuck…” she stammered, the words tumbling out in a deliciously incoherent mix of pleasure and haze, her mind too foggy to form a coherent thought. Ellie was completely lost in every flick of your tongue and every hungry suck on her swollen clit. 

You smirked against her, slapping the side of her thigh harshly, right over the pink imprint of your hand already etched into her skin. The sting made her whimper and jerk away from your mouth, but your grip on her thigh brought her back where she belonged. You had made a mess of the green-eyed girl, and stopping was the last thing on your mind, especially with her third orgasm looming. 

You were just getting started.

You hummed into her, the vibrations drawing little gasps from Ellie's mouth. You didn't stop. Even when her body couldn't take it anymore and silently pleaded for you to let go, you kept going, taking everything you could from her. Your tongue and lips were relentless, sucking harshly as she squirmed on the white toilet seat, trying weakly to push you away. Her hand at the top of your head was a feeble attempt to escape and move you away from her core, slow you down perhaps, but you didn't budge.

Ellie cried out, her voice breaking into whines as if she were on the verge of tears, your relentless moans against her clit only pushing her further. Despite her desperate warnings that she couldn’t take any more, you didn't stop until a warm flush sprayed against your face, making you pull away instinctively.

The thunderous booms and crackles of the fireworks outside were deafening, drowning out her loud cries and whimpers. Each burst of color and light in the sky timed up perfectly with the waves of ecstasy coursing through her body.

Ellie’s body trembled, her muscles twitching in the aftermath. You looked up at her, eyes glazed with satisfaction, licking your lips and savoring her taste. She was a beautiful wreck, panting heavily, her chest heaving with each breath.

“Did you just—” You glanced down at the glistening pool of her juices on the bathroom floor, eyes lingering on the sight for a moment before looking back up at her. Her cheeks were flushed a deep, rosy red, her body still trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm. She exhaled shakily, the color on her face intensifying as embarrassment crept in. 

The thin layer of sweat on Ellie’s forehead caused her baby hairs to cling to her skin, sticking to the sides of her face. You pulled back, running the back of your hand over your mouth and chin, wiping away the slick evidence from your face. 

“Yeah,” she gasped, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

“Didn’t think you were a squirter,” you snorted, your hand coming up to gently stroke her thigh as she sat up on the toilet seat.

“Me neither,” Ellie admitted, her response causing your eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. A sense of satisfaction and pride filled your chest, knowing you were the one who had drawn that intense orgasm from her. As your eyes met, a giggle of contentment escaped your lips.

But the intimacy was suddenly interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Both of you tensed up, eyes widening in alarm at the unexpected disturbance.

“Ellie? You in there?” Dina's voice cut through the heavy atmosphere, her once-slurred words sounding slightly more coherent, likely due to Jesse's intervention in getting her to sober up. The sound of her words was a sudden disturbance, like a splash of cold water that jerked you and Ellie back to reality. You exchanged a hesitant look, both of you struggling to collect yourselves and regain composure

She hastily put her boxers and pants back on, scrambling to get dressed and compose herself. “Yeah, just give me a minute,” she called out hurriedly to Dina, her heart still racing from the recent encounter and the fear of getting caught.

Dina's voice sounded more concerned now, the sound of her trying to open the door sending a jolt of panic through Ellie. “Everything okay?” she asked. “Jesse and I are about to leave.”

“Yeah, shit,” Ellie muttered curses under her breath as you helped her tidy up, both of you scrambling to look presentable. She darted to the sink to clean her face, her voice trembling with nervousness as she lied to Dina, cursing the weed and blaming it for her nausea. Meanwhile, Dina stood outside the bathroom, her ear pressed against the door as she listened intently to the movement and sounds coming from inside.

She tried to open the door again, her interest piqued by the sounds of whispering and rustling coming from inside. “You okay?” she pried. The doorknob rattled loudly, but fortunately, you had secured the door earlier, preventing any potential intrusion. “Need me to come in?”

Ellie’s response was hurried and slightly panicked as she said, “No, no! I’m good, I’m good.” A short while later, the door opened, and a slightly disheveled Ellie emerged with a wide smile, approaching Dina, who looked puzzled and somewhat intoxicated. With her arms crossed, Dina scrutinized her best friend’s appearance, struggling to form a coherent thought.

“Are you okay?” the honey-eyed girl inquired, giving Ellie a once-over and attempting to peek behind her. But she promptly blocked her path.

“I’m feeling fantastic,” Ellie exclaimed with a wide grin, breezing past Dina and narrowly avoiding a collision as she gently guided her away from the doorway. With a quick flick of her wrist, she securely locked the door behind her. “Are you all set to head out?” she asked eagerly, striding off as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, trying to leave the situation behind her.

You heard Dina's footsteps fading into the summer night alive with the sounds of crickets, fireworks, and distant laughter; you let out a long, deep sigh of relief, feeling the cool tiles against your bare back, gradually easing away the tension and anxiety that had built up. 

As you stepped out of the bathroom, the bar’s dim lighting and background chatter enveloped you once more. You spotted Ellie and Dina near the exit, Dina’s arm around Ellie’s shoulders as they prepared to leave. Ellie glanced back at you, a secretive smile playing on her lips, and you knew that this night had changed everything.

[screampied]

JAILBREAK. — SUGURU GETO. ☆

synopsis. you hate your job as a part time correctional officer. things change once you have to “babysit” one of the dangerous criminals of the a-block floor, suguru geto. but girl, maybe sleeping with an egotistical cocky ass inmate might have been your biggest mistake yet.

wc. 5.5k

warnings. modern au, fem!reader, pwp, inmate geto, corruption kink, degradation, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, geto has a tongue piercing, hair pulling, praise, overstim, reader’s kinda delulu

an. thank uuu @osaemu for beta readin someee!! inmate geto is my new hyperfixation omge

it was as if each shift became longer and longer, your daily occupation, nothing special, nothing fancy, just a correctional officer at some high maintenance prison near the city.

the stench of musk and sweat wafted around you, such a reoccurrence that it was practically normal. it was around midnight, as how most of your shifts were, and as you trod towards the secluded darkened space for only the inmates dangerous to themselves and others, you intake a breath before swiping your key near your hip, preparing to unlock the glass-like metal steel door.

“oh,” you close the door behind you, and that familiar deep voice does something to you.

what…?

you don’t know, but it had such bass in it, you turned to face the inmate, no one other than suguru geto. “…yo,” he mocks, giving you a sly head nod, his eyes scan up and down your body, your uniform and then your own meets his pursed lips. somehow, he managed to find a cigarette. again. “hmpf. they got the newbie watchin' me again? you do know that gun on your hip isn’t a toy, right?”

your eyebrows twitch, and your facial expressions formed into a deadpan as you walked towards him with his daily meal in hand. “yeah and i’m not afraid to use it on you if necessary.”

“ooh. rookie’s got jokes, that’s cute.” he grins.

you murmured, and he only smiles, he knows you didn’t mean that, he pissed you off, even if he wasn’t saying anything exactly. pulling out your staff notepad checklist of where you usually kept track of all the inmates attendance and meals, you uttered, “but anyways…” you blowed, “no one fed you today, suguru. you must be starving.”

“yeah, 'm starvin’ ‘n more ways than you can imagine, princess,” geto hums, and you suddenly freeze once the inmate stands up firm and tall. he’s just so damn big—broad wide shoulders, long slight shaggy dark toned hair, and with a split-second gaze, you look near geto’s orange jumpsuit. the bulge, yeah you spotted that immediately, but his tattoos…

his fucking tattoos.

“can you at least try to behave for a few minutes.” you sighed, and he's already getting on your last nerve. he could tell too…and damn was he was just getting nothing but pure amusement from your sheer irritation.

“eh, depends,” he speaks in a low gruff, his attention was on you and only you, raising his darkened thin arched brows before his lips converge into a witty smirk. “ya gonna feed me my food, babe? oh, you should know. poor inmate like me can’t feed myself when i’m all,” and he pauses while speaking, placing his hands in his lap — giving his wrists a slight shimmy and you hear the metal dance against his skin. “…handcuffed.”

it took everything within you to not smack this arrogant suave bastard, geto flirted with you whatever chance he got, with no shame either. you’re a pretty girl, well mannered, yet never took anyone’s shit, he liked that about you.

your job wasn’t to be taken lightly, it could be considered scary at times with the various inmates you have to deal on a day to day basis, but simply, you were just a girl with an attitude. but he wasn’t fond of brats, especially brats like you.

“…fine,” you mumbled, making your way towards him. he sat on the steel uncomfortable bed that was as usual, never made. geto practically lived in solitary confinement, they don’t call him the suguru geto for a reason. his name was known amongst many, he was feared worldwide. geto wasn’t exactly a good guy, far from it actually.

he’s a criminal and his record was… definitely spine chilling to say the least. “don’t try anything, just open your mouth.”

“hm, alright then.” he happily complies, his demeanor changes just a bit, and he’s more playful. geto opens his mouth just slightly and you spot tiny dimples form near the corners of his lips, and you gradually stick the spoon into his mouth, feeding him whatever food was made for the inmates of the night.

baked mash potatoes, geto stated it was one of his favorites and you just so happened to remember. a smile forms on his lips as you feed him. your eyes darted towards him, and now he’s just staring intimately at you.

that smirk that forever rested against his pink thinly parted lips.

“m-mhm.” he grunts, and your eyes widen just a bit, he was messing with you, and you don’t even realize geto’s got his hand gripped on your waist. stroking a thumb against your belt, you felt the feeling of him rubbing all against the firearm that was strapped tightly on you.

before you could smack his hand, geto swiftly brings you on top of his lap, stealing out a gasp from you at how quick he was with his movements. the silver spoon sticks out his mouth before you take it out, only to return him with an irritated glare.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you uttered, growing quite embarrassed yet trying to maintain a level-head.

“told ya,” he grumbles, swiping a tongue against the excess mash potatoes that remained near his lips. “i’m hungry, babe. that was good, but i’m not satisfied. i need more.”

“inmates in solitary confinement aren’t allowed to have seco—”

“pretty girl, you know what i’m talkin’ about,” geto chuckles, and you shiver a bit from feeling the soft pads of his thumb brush against the belt of your waist again. you were in uniform but this entire position was so dirty. not to mention, it’s not like this place of the prison was exactly secluded. it was, but there was bound to be people were walking by. “i’ve been seein’ the way you stare at me.”

he was just infuriating, but you didn’t know how to reply so…you didn’t. you just sat there on the inmate’s lap, with a quite dumb expression and he’s just eating it up. “geto—”

“it’s just you ‘n me, girl,” he slyly whispers, and his voice drops just a bit as he stops you from speaking. his touch against your waist just gave you more and more goosebumps. all the way up until you felt it. geto infamous boner that hid beneath his jumpsuit. he’s been incarcerated for at least three years now, in and out. he was for sure horny. you could just tell from his seductive gaze. “don’t gotta be shy. was waiting for you to show up if ‘m being honest. you’re not like the rest, y’know?”

that’s when you gasp, realizing his handcuffs were off — he must have took the key from your pocket, because he was just feeling you up now. you let off a surprised noise once you felt geto starting to make you grind against his lap, feeling his hefty bulge.

“sugu-” you mumbled, and he’s just staring at you with a sly grin pressing onto his lips, only before he leans directly up close to your neck, giving a part near your collarbone a soft deep suck.

you whine from feeling the near sharp edges of his teeth lightly dig into your skin, playfully.

“mhm, pretty thing like you isn’t fit to be workin’ here. cutesy little prison guard,” he sung, his warm breath wafts against your skin, “crushin’ on your inmates is real unprofessional, ya know. you could get fired.”

he was right, you could get fired. and perhaps he wasn’t lying about the second part too—you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t find suguru geto the slightest bit of attractive. because he was, he and you both knew it.

“don’t be stupid. i’m not crushing on you,” you denied, yet embarrassingly enough, your eyes widen at feeling geto air your words — his thick stubby fingers, two of them specifically runs down between your legs and you gasp again. “are you…crazy? there could be cameras in here.”

“so.”

“so? you’re trying to get me fired?” you raised your eyebrows, sitting up from his lap, and he’s playing with you entirely. stroking a rough scarred hand down your back. if it was any other inmate, you’d barely give them a second glance.

geto gives you direct eye contact, and he looks so handsome and lean back, but his messy long black strands of bangs nearly covers his eyes, making him appear to be ten times more feared.

“maybe,” then he chuckles. “it’s okay, if it makes ya feel any better. i fantasized about you at least once or twice while being secluded from the other inmates in this hellhole. i prefer you over the other annoying officers who’re always givin’ me shit.”

you were about to speak but suddenly you couldn’t—you realized how close you were to geto, propped up on his lap, propped up on his bulge. were you really throbbing right now? oh you definitely were.

pulsing, itching, aching.

“soooo, when was the last time you got laid?”

this guy.

“excuse me?” you stammer, entirely being taken aback. such smug fell off his tone, he cocked his head a certain way to let you know he was being genuine. in his own way, of course.

geto’s always been one to flirt with you whenever it was your shift to supervise him. his comments were always so bold. he’d purposely pitch his tone a bit low whenever he spoke to you, no one else. perhaps it was the incarcerated felon crushing on you.

“you heard me,” he mutters, giving you a sly glance. he ghosts a few fingers against your waist. you still don’t know why you’re happily sitting on his lap, but you were comfortable to say the least. “with your long hours i pretty much figure you don’t even have time to finger yourself, let alone get laid. poor baby.”

“…just shut up.” you chastised, his soothing warm words, the way he delivered those last two words as a form of mockery. it made you throb, you pinched yourself, feeling yourself grow out to be hot. 

“make me, girl.” he faked a pout on his lips, almost as if his speech was purposely dumbing you down, solely from the tone. geto teasingly cocks his head towards the right and a teeny smile stretched against his lips. 

and you did. 

he was just poking fun at you—you loathed it, the tension between you and geto, his expressions were relaxed and smug like you won’t do anything. 

so, what did you do? 

you silenced him…with a kiss. 

he’s taken aback, you’re taken aback, you don’t know what came over you but you just couldn’t stand him talking. 

his sly grin, you desperately wanted to wipe it off his face. geto leans back against his bunk. his breath gets caught in his throat with the way you initiated the lustful kiss, parting your mouth open just a bit. 

you can feel geto reaching for the firearm near your hip but with quick reflexes you smack his hand, and he chuckles, pulling you closer towards him. 

he tasted sweet, with a tang of spice. leaning his head forward, he felt your warm breath shudder against him which makes him let off a low grunt once he feels you start to rock against his lap.

geto didn’t expect for you to trail a finger down his jumpsuit. the soft nearly wrinkled fabric, unbuttoning it and he shudders at how you’re all frisky and bold. 

“easy now officer,” he whispers before pulling away, lips pink and glistening with a bit of spit. his voice was a mere rasp and it made you throb. “when i said make me, that’s not what i meant,” and then he smiles, tugging on your work pants. “but you’re something else. take off those pants, i’ve been meaning to show you something.”

geto wanted to show you his tongue, specifically his tongue piercing. not necessarily show you but make you feel it. 

when you kissed him, you felt it tickle against you. the tasteless titanium rubbing against your tongue. it left you all hot and bothered. 

he had you currently laid flat on your back, an entire needy mess, despite it only being a few minutes. how embarrassing…

it was just the way he curled his tongue, flicking it against your pussy, he’s sloppy. two big hands squeeze and grip against your inner thighs, long strands prickling against your legs as he swirled his tongue against your slit. 

“f-fuck,” you’d gasp out, tilting your neck down to stare at geto. he’s already returning your eyes with a coltish glance, puckering his lips briefly to create kissed everywhere between your legs. your hands rummaged through his long silk hair. giving it a firm tug, that earns a low grunt from geto that makes you pulse even more. “tickles, suguru.”

“does it?” he purrs in a cheeky tone, slowly flicking his tongue against your clit—you jounce, a gasp gets caught in your throat at the way the piercing shifts against your folds. the slight coldness of it makes your thighs ache for more “mhm. can’t get enough.”

you pant, tugging and gripping roughly on his hair, geto’s nose deep, his tongue was so greedy. it was just the way he grazed and moved his tongue against your labia. your two sweet flaps, you grew more whiny by the second. 

“s-suguru,” you’d squeak, biting down on your lip. you knew how wrong this was, so why did it turn you on even more? “think…think ‘m getting close.”

“yeah yeah, keep your legs open.” he cuts you off, and you stare down at him. he’s so nasty with his tongue, taking a brief second to spit right on your cunt, dragging a thumb between your slit. “do you get wet like this for all your other inmates?”

you stared down at him, feeling yourself grow more and more aroused by the second—your response was just giving him a subtle head shake. “no, just you.”

“just me?” he repeats, lowering his voice and it’s so attractive. “maybe you really are crushin’ on me.”

“shut up..” you hissed. your breathing started to become more and more erratic, your ears rang and you pulsed from how close you were starting to approach towards your orgasm. 

geto’s entire chin was polished with your sweet slick—covered in nothing but all of it. such a messy eater, each time you tug on his long strands of hair. his husky pitched groans continued to make you pulse.

his piercing slowly lapped against your cunt, and you gasped at the feeling of him inserting a finger inside slowly. 

“ooh, ‘s close isn’t it?” he teases, peppering kisses near your thighs now, nibbling on it playfully with his teeth. “you gonna make a mess for me? slutty prison guard?” 

“y-yes.” you squirmed, your hands idly dragging him closer against your pussy. he chuckles, his technique snatching your breath away quite literally. “suguru… gonna come. wanna cum.”

he lays his tongue flat, lapping and lapping against your clit, giving it a long sweet suck to where his mouth starts watering from the taste and you moan. “ask nicer. where’s your manners huh?”

“p-please,” you whined, growing frustrated, so pent up—your walls clenched around the two fingers he now had buried deep into your cunt. you whimper from the mere stimulation, the way he toys with your g-spot with his lengthy slender fingers had you throbbing pathetically. “let me cum please, s-suguru.”

“oh but i don’t know,” the inmate teases, using his free hand to pry open your thighs a bit more. the cute pout that spread across your lips at his words was so adorable, “aw poor baby,” he hums, playfully blowing against your pussy to watch you writhe in pleasure and utter desperation. “you’re so cute when you’re desperate.”

“suguru, please, please..” you whimpered, not even caring how you sounded. your sweet voice reverberated against the walls of the secluded kept room, own words coiling at your throat. 

he smiles. “how about this,” and for a terse moment…he stares right at you. with his tongue going over his lips, savoring your taste. “i let you cum, you promise to get me out of here.”

….

help him break out? 

all this so you could orgasm….

you swallowed, chest heaving and your legs felt nearly nonexistent. geto looked serious though, brushing a thumb against your sloppy clit. he awaited your answer and you were deep in pondering thought.

you’d for sure get fired, then again you did hate your job. 

the fact that you were even contemplating letting an inmate break out just to cum. you just wanted a release so bad, the way his tongue lapped against your pussy, the smooth texture of it flicking back and forth to where your toes curl. you wanted more, and maybe it was a bit concerning that you started to not even care about your profession anymore. 

“promise..”

“oh..?” he slyly remarks, for sure you were gonna at least deny or call him crazy, but a straight answer. he was amused—and the needy look on his face was all he needed to see. “hm, it’s a deal then. go ahead ‘n cum, pretty girl.”

your back arched in ecstasy, he’s holding onto your hips departing his fingers from inside you, and just his tongue’s doing the main finish. you shuddered as you felt yourself vibrate and twitch. the build up had you clenching around nothing but air. “f-fuck…” 

scorching, your body radiated and carried so much heat around it, your eyes started to roll and roll towards the very depths of your head. once you came, you slump back against the rickety mattress, one hand still firmly maintaining its grip on geto’s hair. 

“there there, ‘s okay,” he slyly purrs, making sure to clean you with his tongue. for a split second his eyes close, and geto brings a few kisses against your folds before sitting up to stare down at you. “c’mere.”

you sit up, giving geto a cute needful glance, you craved more and he knew that. you leaned in to kiss him, and he returns it with such filthy passion. geto’s handsy, his slick-smeared lips ghost against yours before he deepens it. a groan gets caught in his throat, and you whine once you feel him lay you down on your back.

he leans up against you and eagerly, you give the orange fabric pants of his jumpsuit a cute tug, a sign for him to take it off. 

“such an impatient little thing,” he murmurs right into your mouth. you whined, wanting him to keep kissing you but he keeps breaking away purposely, watching your lips quiver in desire. “how bad do you want me?”

“s-suguru.” you pouted, your hand finding its way towards his bulge. the strain in his pants, all because of you. 

“don’t ‘suguru’ me,” he rasps in a mocking tone, his body pressed against yours. and only then did you realize the size difference, how buff and well toned geto was. he was an inmate after all, he always had a consistent workout schedule. geto’s dark eyes stare into yours before he brushes a thumb against your glossed lips. “talk to me nice in that pretty voice of yours. you want me? say it then.”

the disappointed pout you had displayed on your lips remained there as you spoke, only to hear how whiney and desperate you were. 

“i want you suguru, please.” you sigh. 

“girl…you’re so unprofessional,” he snickers, a swift snicker leaves from his lips before you hear him shuffle in his suit. pulling down his matched set pants, he tugs near the edge and it goes down. “feel how hard you make me, officer.”

and you let out a soft gasp. 

geto lightly grabs you by the neck, and you let off a needy moan once he starts to rub your face against his boxers. the very imprint of his bulge. “all your fault. got me throbbin’ for you...”

“suguru,” you whined, a small pout spreading on your lips each second he continued to tease you. “suguru, s-stop teasing me.”

“just jokin’,” you plop down on your chest, the moment he lightly shoves you forward against the plush-cushioned bed frame. it creaked from the movements, quite rickety. “oh wow,” he utters in a low voice — quickly averting his eyes towards your work pants, briefly pulling them down to come full-view of your ass. “do correctional officers just…not wear panties or…?”

you let off a moan, feeling him skim a few fingers against your ass, holding back a noise once he presses the leaky fat tip of his cock against your throbbing entrance. 

“i…i forgot.” you whined, mouth watering — you wanted more than anything for him to be inside already. “i was rushing.”

“uh huh,” geto rolls his eyes, and you stared directly at him. the plump fat head of his swiped against your wet folds, a few taps and you were about to go crazy. “ooh. look at you trying to rush me.” 

he was such a tease, you could hear the playfulness in his tone. as geto hovered over you, he took a few moments before slowly easing his way inside you. 

his jaw clenches, and it’s sexy…

the way his muscles would tense all because of you. you were panting, legs just dumbly sprawled out. maybe it was unprofessional, participating in sexual activities with an inmate—yet, you just couldn’t help yourself. all the built up tension surrounding between the two of you. perhaps it was bound to happen. 

“fuck, ‘s warm..” he grunts, and he’s just barely halfway in. you chewed near the inside of your lip, nails clawing down his buff arms and he starts to pant himself. geto was huge. emphasis on huge. 

his happy trail was mesmerizing to look at, the way he had slightly black curly hair coating near the lower half of himself. it was well trimmed, yet much visible to see. the more he gently makes his way inside your cunt, you felt every mean inch. the curve geto had—it was hefty, you felt yourself starting to drool. 

a single vein throbbed, and you felt it. geto bites his tongue marginally. and once he’s fully in, he gives you a coy expression. 

“may i move, officer?” he snickers. 

“p-please.” you whimpered. 

“okay.” he hums, and the bass to his voice was just enough to get you wet. far wetter than you already were. such smoothness dripped from it, it was a deep pitch that always made your heart flutter and sink. 

once he starts up just a single thrust, your body jolts back and you gasp—finding your arms to suddenly grab onto him. 

geto chuckles. “dramatic thing, aren’t you.” you moaned, nails continuing to drag down how skin as you’re laid flat against your back. the angle was so deep and thorough, each hit against your pussy had your kind spasming. in an entire frenzy of you will. 

he leans in to pepper kisses all over your face, strands of his hair that was out tickled against your skin. by this point, he’s buried deep. your head goes back a bit and…oh, that same curve that he had, it continuously made an appearance. 

geto was buried between your legs, hefty sack just thwacking against you. your legs were perfectly bent, shoulder width apart. “f-fuck,” you’d stammer, suddenly clamping all around him. it took a few deep vigorous thrusts, but at this point he’s got your pussy memorizing his lengths size. geto spreads his knees for a more thorough base, his movements were so sloppy you could barely think straight. let alone process anything. “suguru, ‘s right there.”

“right there what?” he teases, leaning in to nibble near the bottom of your lip. the thin fabric of his jumpsuit brushes against your skin—you were just a mess. pulse after pulse, you wouldn’t be surprised if your brain was short circuiting. “i can’t hear ya when you mumble, baby.”

“fucking-” you spat, and he chuckles once you’re cut off with a deep kiss. geto vary’s his stance against you, and slides his tongue all throughout your mouth. it’s a rough and passionate kiss—so much so to where, he has you catching his breath. once you pull away, you moan, being brought back to reality from his ruthless smacks he’s making with his dick. “keep…keep hitting me there.”

he hums, giving your bottom lip a slow playful bite again, still ramming his hips against you at such a filthy pace. “is that an order?”

he was so annoying, that two second glance he’d give you—a smirk pressing against his lips, he definitely knew how to get under your skin. “please,” you corrected yourself, nails still running down his back. it pierced against his skin, earning a low husky grunt from him. “keep hitting me in that s-spot, suguru.”

“since ya asked so nicely,” he purrs, sneaking another kiss. this time near the very corner of your mouth. the taste was just glacé, sweet and all. simply divine.

you moaned into his mouth, and as his body weight pressed against yours — you shivered. he’s such a tease, geto starts to lightly ghost your cell keys against your bare tummy. your back arched immediately, the coldness of it just grazing against your skin. “you’re so sensitive.”

his soft, teasing words rang throughout your ears, and as you clung onto him—you felt yourself coming closer and closer. he gripped onto your legs, slightly raising them upward and you moan from the deep deep angled. “o-oh my god.” 

geto’s shallow mean strokes had your eyes rolling all the way back….way back to the very depths of your skull. if you weren’t drooling then, you certainly were now.

the moment he sees you pouting from how he cockily starts to slow down—geto pushes a bit more deeper, grinning from your legs now locking around his waist. 

moments later though, you both freeze at hearing the sound of footsteps approaching near the solitary steel door. 

right when you about to orgasm, you both stare at each other — and it’s another officer. you could tell by the loud echo of the keys dangling against their hips. 

“officer, you alright? been in there a while. we’re finishing up roll call then it’s time for the inmates to sleep.”

shit. 

you couldn’t stay quiet, that’d be suspicious, and you knew you had to say something. geto chuckles, still buried balls deep inside of you, leaning in to give your neck a long suck. your hands ran through his hair and you bit your lip, trying to muster up what to say. 

“your subordinate’s talking to you,” geto teases, and you gasp from how he suddenly pistons his hips, such sloppy ruthless thrusts your breath was merely taken away. “don’t be a rude girl.”

“s-shut up,” you whined, putting a hand in his face and he playfully kisses it. you stop a moan from escaping your lips before you project your voice lightly. “uh, yeah. everything’s good. inmate suguru geto’s asleep. i’m just—just finishing up then i’ll take care of his dishes.”

“alright,” the lower rank replies, and your legs start to shake and jostle against geto. he’s staring at you, just wanting for you to slip up. a few awkward seconds pass before the officer continues to speak. “are we still on for tonight?”

you gulped, and geto raises his brows before whispering into your neck. “…oh, tonight, yeah?”

by all means, you felt so embarrassed, heat rises up to your cheeks as if your entire body wasn’t already burning up from his weight pressing down against you.

you ended up cumming mid-convo, and had to cover your mouth to not be so noisy. you clenched all around geto, just a twitching and spasming mess. 

“y-yeah, we are.”

“good, good,” he speaks through the other end of the closed steel door. poor officer, he sounds so ecstatic, a bit of confidence running through his tone. “i’ll see you then, pumpkin.”

geto blurted out laughing and you had to slap a hand against his mouth. the moment the coast is clear and he walks away, you glare and he simpers. 

“pumpkin,” he repeats, mimicking your co-workers accent. “i didn’t know you had plans. have me looking like a fool, hmpf.”

“my private life isn’t your busin—” and you get cut off once geto abruptly sits you upright, to where you’re just straddling him. you moan, your cunt still being stuffed full of his thick inches — and for a moment, you felt his vein prod against you. 

geto groans, seeing how your pupils were all dilated from your recent release. “yeahhh, it isn’t,” he says, grabbing ahold of your waist. you’re rocking back and forth and he’s so thick that you’re just completely cockdrunk and dizzy. “but ‘m having too much fun with you.”

you gasp once you feel the back of geto’s hand roughly smack your ass again, and again, and again. he loves the recoil — you hiss from the sting as your hips roll and maneuver against his lap. “you’re such a dirty girl. i don’t want you to go on that date. stay with me.”

“y-you can’t be serious.” you muttered, arms thrown over his neck. and for a brief moment, it was almost as if you heard a faint of jealously lingering on his tone. it made you throb, this high and mighty notorious inmate feeling this way…for a nobody like you. 

“dead serious, baby,” he utters, and you can sense geto’s close too from the way his jaw tightens. his head tilts back and he bites down on his lip. “that way i won’t be less lonely. talking to the wall ‘n everything.”

oh right, he was in solitary confinement. purposely secluded from the other guards and inmates. geto was considered a danger, yet here you were — stupidly bouncing on his dick. 

“but ‘m not so lonely now that you’re here,” he coos against your ear, and you whimper once he drags a hand down between your legs. he gives your pussy a few mean spanks and you whimpered. “fuck, keep moaning in my ear like that ‘n i’m gonna give you so much of my cum.”

“i need it.” you pleaded, tears swelling up in your eyes, you genuinely didn’t know what got over you — your body was so achy, each time he traced his fingers down your body, you whined. you didn’t care anymore, you just wanted to be filled. 

geto groans, and his hefty base kept smacking back against you, your hips jerked as you tightly held onto him, marking up the very inner part of his neck with soft bite marks. 

“f-fine,” he grumbles, and his voice gets a bit high, he’s growing out to be sensitive from the pressure building up. he even gets a tad bit whiney himself. the constant skin smacking makes him kiss his teeth, and his head throws back yet again—long pretty hair flowing against his shoulders. “god, you’re so fuckin’ nasty. riding me this g-good.”

you even start to tug on his hair, and that makes him moan even more. not like he minded. it turned him on, needless to say. 

once geto came, it was thick, so much that it instantly spilled out of your cunt. you paused your hips, and he silenced his groans by grunting against your neck. he’s shaking just as much as you were — and it came out in velvety ropes, spurting and spurting. 

“take it all,” he hisses, gripping onto your waist tightly. you whimper, grinding against him just for a few seconds and he’s for once speechless. “damn, those hips of yours is so deadly, fuck.”

you whined, sitting up and he pulls out of you, watching his own cum spill and drip out. geto brings a thumb towards your clit to smear it all over your pussy, an image that was a something he’d never erase from his mind. 

you panted, hitting your back against his bunk while geto leans in to kiss you deeply. you kissed back, dragging your tongue against his, feeling his warm breath fan against yours before he pulls away with a weary expression. 

“good girl,” he murmurs, peppering a soft kiss near the side of your mouth. “remember my promise?” 

“yeah.” you exhale, trying to catch your breath. your legs felt like jello — head clouded and entirely empty, not a single thought in your mind. 

he smiles. “good. because i forgot to tell ya something else,” and you stare at him, a soft confused head tilt, watching him re-adjust his jumpsuit, pulling his boxers and pants part up. “have fun being in solitary by yourself.”

“wait w-what?” you stammer, and reaches the door, your own keys in hand — and you couldn’t have felt anymore stupid. geto chuckles, with a sly shrug. “princess, you were so gullible. letting me take your keys,” and he unlocks the huge latch before grinning. “but hey, don’t feel too bad. you have a date tonight.”

you glare, overwhelmed with emotions before spitting out a, “fuck you.”

“you literally just did,” he wriggles his eyebrows. “don’t worry. i’ll come back for you,” and then he opens the steel door.

yet before slamming it, he gives you a wink and that same sly grin. “nah i’m just kidding, no i won’t. sorry.”

[envy-of-the-apple]

Exception

Dark!Geto Suguru x reader

5.8k wc

Synopsis: You never bothered with Suguru's crush on you, knowing it would fade. After meeting him again years later, you make the horrible discovery that his feelings for you have only festered.

(Warnings: yandere, dark content, murder of a side character, slight gore, violence, rape/noncon, vaginal fingering, piv sex, unsafe sex)

When you were in your first year of college, you got a part-time job at a nearby cafe. 

It was easy work. Make coffee. Bake some pastries. Attend to the customers. Nothing too unmanageable. It was an insignificant part of your life. 

Then, Gojo and Geto came along.

 

Insufferably annoying. Especially, the loud one. They always caused a havoc in the cafe, often to the point where the manager had to physically kick them out. It was a turbulent two weeks, until one day you promised them if they kept it down, you'd let them try a few of your experimental pastries. 

Really, it was your own damn fault. They started coming every day after that, mostly to bother you. The only reason management hadn't outright banned them was probably because Gojo made 50% of their entire revenue. 

You warmed up to them eventually. Your fake smiles turned into more amused ones because of their antics. Once or twice, they'd get a good laugh out of you. You've heard rumors of a private, religious highschool nearby. You always assumed they were a byproduct of that. 

Eventually, Gojo becomes Satoru. Geto becomes Suguru. Nice kids, if not a bit overzealous. Despite refusing to hang out with them after work, you had to admit, you grew a bit attached to them. You found yourself asking about their day, hiding sweets for the two of them, sometimes you'd even let them steal a croissant or two. 

You bet the reason they hung around you was because, to them, you were some cool college student. Secretly, you found it a little flattering. Some days, their friendship was the highlight of your shift. It's clear Satoru is always the instigator, always looking like he's about to bounce off the walls (you have told him to lay off the sugar), it's not like Suguru was any better. He tried to act like he was the more refined part of the friendship. He often fails, at least in your eyes. 

It becomes pretty apparent that Suguru had a crush on you. You're not sure when exactly you started to notice the bashful looks, the slight flush on his cheeks whenever you accidentally brush his hand, the fact that he visits far more often (even though Satoru has the sweet-tooth) but you can't unsee it now. It doesn't help that Satoru looks downright giddy whenever his friend talks to you, barely controlling his giggles in the background. His reaction and Suguru's irritation often start a few skirmishes right outside the cafe doors. You've told them multiple times to take their fights in the alley at least. They never listened. 

For his sake, you don't acknowledge it, already knowing what it is. A schoolyard crush. Harmless, it'll pass. Eventually, when you're a distant memory to them, Satoru will tease him about it and Suguru will give a playful elbow nudge. Much to your relief, Suguru doesn't pull you to the side and confess. He's refined, in that way, never giving too much until you have the evidence and clues yourself. 

It continued like that for months. And then, something changed. 

They stopped coming around as much. Daily visits turned weekly. Weekly turned to every so often. Their energy felt off too. Satoru seemed the same as always, if not a bit more mellowed out. It was Suguru you mainly worried for. Each time he returned, he looked worse and worse. Darker circles. Eyes filled with exhaustion. 

You pull him aside eventually, asking if anything is going on, asking if he's okay, asking if he wants to talk. As sincerely as you can, you tell him that you're here for him. He at least attempts to smile at that. When you press, he shakes his head. 

"It's nothing," you both know he's lying, "it's just....it's nice to see that there is one exception." 

A little while after that, they stop coming entirely. You notice, but you aren't able to focus on it. School gets harder, you're cutting back your work to focus on it. You don't even recognize Satoru at first when he walks in nearly a year later. 

He's different. So much taller. Despite being a few years younger than you...he doesn't feel like a kid anymore. An easygoing smile is pulled on his face when he sees you, giving a lazy wave. You return it, though a bit hesitant. He talks to you as though no time has passed at all, asking what you made for him this time. He talks fast. His voice is too laid back. Too casual. Like he's avoiding something. You think you know what. 

"Where's Suguru?" you ask when you glance behind Satoru for the third time, "I haven't seen him around lately." 

He freezes, like he's been dreading that question ever since he came in. Finally, he shrugs, making a noncommital hum. His sunglasses obscure his eyes but it isn't enough to hide how cold he suddenly turned. Satoru seems to realize that too. His answer is pulled by reluctance. 

"We don't talk anymore." He doesn't say anything more. You don't need him to.

When he pulls out his wallet, you tell him it's on the house. He looks at you then. His mouth opens, searching for the right words. He waits too long. His mask slips back into place. 

Gojo grins at you, painfully fake. 

"Take care of yourself, will ya?" 

You never see him again after that. You know it's your fault. 

You think about them every so often when you can, Suguru especially. He rests in the back of your mind like an old piece of furniture you can't bring yourself to throw out. Suguru sometimes haunts your dreams with his darkened eyes and the pure brokenness on his face. For some reason, you think you failed him somehow. You felt like you could have done more. Maybe, if you'd tried harder to reach out, things would have been different. Two boys wouldn't be utterly heartbroken. 

Years pass by. You quit working at the cafe. You graduate college. You move cities. You get a job. Eventually, you settle into a nice apartment. You forget all about your days in that quaint little restaurant, your attention hogged by a couple of annoying high schoolers. You don't think about Satoru for years. You don't think about Suguru for years. 

Until one day, when he calls your name in the street. 

He was bigger now, towering over you with broad shoulders. His hair was longer, darker too, less of a green, more black. He's ditched his school uniform, trading it for a more casual outfit. It's his face that makes you hesitate before you use your voice, that same smile, physically at least. He looks the same, but then he doesn't. 

"...Suguru?" It's a question because you're still not sure. 

He smiles wider. 

"Long time, huh?" 

Somehow, your reunion culminates in a restaurant. You still feel out of it, somehow, like you're watching yourself in an out-of-body experience. Between the food and him, you're not sure if you can even believe it. 

He tells you he heads a temple now. A pious man. You shouldn't be surprised, considering his education, but you never knew he was so invested in religion. The two of you converse about other meaningless things. The conversation becomes less stilted. More sincere. You learned your lesson from last time. You don't bring up Satoru unless he does. 

Much to your disappointment, he doesn't. 

Compared to yours, his life is so crazy. Not just with the temple. Suguru tells you he's a father now too. Adopted two little girls. He's barely 22. You can barely hold your disbelief, shaking your head as you take another sip of your coffee. 

"In any case," you say when the conversation draws to a lull, "I'm just really glad you're happy, Suguru. You deserve it." 

When Suguru gives you a questioning look, you continue. 

"The last time we saw each other, you looked miserable." 

 His eyes widen in realization before a laugh bubbles out of his throat. Deep, rich like chocolate. 

"Back then, I was going through a lot." He sighs. "I was figuring out what I wanted. It...it was a tough time for me." 

You nod along, hoping you aren't forcing him to pry. However, the Suguru you're faced with now doesn't seem like that type of person anymore. He won't give if you press. He talks on his own terms. You never once thought of him as a pushover, but he's less open now. Perhaps it's because he's no longer a child. 

Suguru smiles then, a little more sincere than his first. 

"You know...I've always wanted to thank you." 

You tilt your head. "What for?" 

He plays with his empty cup like he's searching for the answer himself. "You gave me hope when no one else did. Everyone was so quick to tell me if I was wrong or right."

He leans back on his chair, eyes drifting towards the ceiling, "Other humans, they're always so enraptured by their own lives. You were the only person who reached out. At least, who cared enough to." 

The guilt from years ago slipped back into your throat. So he had been suffering. You should have done more. He was just a kid. They both had been. You could have done something. Maybe you could have saved a little more.

His hand finds yours on the table. They're rough, calloused. You can feel the scars. He squeezes your fingers. 

"Thank you," he murmurs, "For being an exception." 

You squeeze back. 

It's a tumultuous friendship, at first. It's much like a burn. Sensitive, it hurts at first. The wound is too fresh. Eventually, dead skin and memories fade away. You find yourself texting him. Once a week. Maybe a little more, if you get brave enough. 

Once, he sends you a picture of a white cat lounging in a sunbeam.

looks like Satoru, he types. 

(You stare at the caption for a long longer than necessary.)

It does, you send back.

You visit his temple once. He invited you, actually. A free tour, he had joked. It was beautiful. A large expansive garden filled with all types of flowers. The courtyard felt like it stretched for miles. That was just the outskirts of the temple. The building was something else entirely. A large ceiling. Expansive walls. White pillars that keep going higher and higher and higher. 

You notice his followers are everywhere. Most carry the same smile on their face. Bright, happy, cheery, but too strained. Like it's a job for them. It feels weird to say, but he fits nicely here. You think that because this wasn't the place you thought Suguru would end up. He dons the traditional clothing perfectly. Like they were made for him. They probably were, considering how high his reputation was. 

If he hadn't had the same face, the same hair color. You wouldn't have recognized him at all. He's managed to replace every single thing in his life with something new. It doesn't go unnoticed by you that you're the only thing he keeps from the past. A momento of sorts. You're a keepsake, for him. You don't mind the symbolism. You've always been easily flattered. 

You just failed to realize that not all of his feelings had changed. 

It was in front of your house. After, yet another visit to the temple (much at Suguru's insistence), he'd offered to walk you home. You would have declined if it wasn't so dark out. In the end, you accept his offer. 

"The girls have come to like you," Suguru says after a lull of pleasant silence. When you glance at him, you find his eyes on you. 

"Have they?" you prod. 

In all honestly, you didn't think they liked you at all at first. You don't have that much experience with young children, but you found it odd how unnerved Nanako and Mimiko seemed to get around you, practically hiding behind their father's figure, peeking out with untrusting eyes. Suguru had to gently coax them out with soft words, insisting that you were a close friend of his, you were 'different'. 

"Yes, they talk about you all the time," he continues, rolling his eyes in affection, "Mimiko especially gets very animated." 

Your heart skips a beat at his answer. You never felt one way or the other about children, but it felt nice when two little girls felt so highly about you. Those two especially. 

"It must be from all the sweets I bribed them with," you say, jokingly, "Please tell me I didn't cause them any stomach aches." 

He laughs, light and pretty. 

"It's not that," he responds, "it's because of you, mostly. You're different from the others."

You smile, but it's half-hearted, an attempt more than anything. It takes you a while for you to work up for the question. For some reason, you feel a bit nervous, like you're stepping on something you shouldn't be. 

"Different," you start, "you keep saying that. What does that mean? What am I different from?" 

He stops, just at the entrance of your flat. Suguru's fingers drum on his pants. You stare at him. He stares right back. 

"You are different, in so many different ways," he says, though it feels as though he's speaking to himself, rather than you. 

He takes a step forward. Tiny, he barely even moved. And yet, the distance between the two of you has vanished completely. 

"You've always been. Different from everyone else. The only one." You can't tell if he cut himself off, or if there was truly nothing else to say. 

It was barely a kiss. His lips brushed against yours, barely touching. Soft, like he cherished you the most out of all his possessions. The gentleness of it all is enough for you to freeze. 

Then his hand curls around your waist, and you jolt back into your body. 

You splay your hands on his chest, pushing him away until you have enough momentum to step back. His loose hold on you falls away. You can't look at him, even when you can feel his stare burn into you. 

"Suguru," you say, because you're mind is still running to catch up to your heart, "I-we-" 

Your name being called stops your babbling. You don't think he saw, god you hoped he hadn't. When you look over, he's smiling, so you don't think he did. He was never one to hide his feelings. Still, you step away from Suguru, ignoring how stiff the man had become. 

"Hey," you say, mostly out of relief because you couldn't deal with this anymore. When he wraps you into a hug and a chaste kiss, you wordlessly accept. Suguru's gaze on your back only gets stronger. 

"Who's this?" he asks, gesturing at Suguru. Your smile falters as you glance at Suguru. His face was blank. He wasn't even smiling anymore as he continued to stare at your man. 

"A friend," you say before Suguru can make this already worse, "and he was just leaving." 

"Oh," he says, before smiling down at you. Delightfully oblivious. 

"We'll talk later, okay Suguru?" You send Suguru a hurried smile before dragging him into your shared flat. 

You lock the door behind you. He says something just then, you laugh, trying so hard not to sense Suguru's presence through the door. You don't think he leaves. Not for a good long while. 

You don't speak to Suguru, after that. 

You wince whenever you see his name through your contact list now, as though even seeing a remnant of him is painful. You don't go to the temple anymore. Your communication with the girls turns nonexistent. 

Suguru hasn't said anything to you either. The line has grown dead both ways. 

You feel guilty, even though you know it wasn't your fault, you still can't help but wonder if you could have done something different. Did you do something that made him think you were interested? You probably had, knowing how unaware you could be, sometimes. You couldn't help but feel ecstatic when the two of you reconnected again. You'd been so excited for Suguru, happy for him because he'd finally found his way. You didn't know he still liked you after all these years. It was a schoolyard crush, at least, it was supposed to be.

Looking back, you didn't think you'd even told Suguru that you were already seeing someone. One blunder after a blunder. 

It must have been embarrassing for him, you can't help but think. Even when he was younger, Suguru had always held onto his pride dearly. You don't know if your friendship could ever be the same after this, but you'd like to extend the olive branch. If he'd take it. 

You tell your boyfriend about the incident eventually. You know it's not your fault, but you still feel like it is. He takes it well, once you explain, looking at you sweetly. 

"I could tell something was going on between you and him," he says, "but thanks for telling me." 

"You aren't mad?" you ask, half-afraid of the answer. 

"At you? Course not. Him, however"- he made a swing motion with his fist "-he does something like that again and I'll punch his lights out." 

You laugh, knowing it's a joke, giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek. He beams. 

It takes a week of radio silence to forget about the mishap. You're humming a song you've forgotten the lyrics to when you arrive at your apartment. Your boyfriend said that he was coming home early tonight. You'd planned something quiet for the evening. A movie, cheap drinks. 

"Welcome home." Suguru grins. You freeze. 

He sits on the couch, splayed out like he belonged there. He's not wearing his priest garment, now garbed with a simple shirt and jeans. It takes a minute for you to figure out what you're looking at. Slowly, you close the door behind you. 

"Hey," you say, hoping your tone doesn't indicate just off-put by this encounter you are.

Suguru doesn't seem to mind your reluctance. 

"He let me in." Suguru points to somewhere behind you. Oh, your boyfriend is probably in the bathroom. "He was such a nice man. You were very lucky." 

"Thank you," you find yourself saying, "I am." 

His smile grows bigger, and you wonder if there's a joke you aren't let in on. Like he's saying something that's going right above your head. 

When you take a glance behind you, your partner is nowhere to be seen. It makes you wonder if you should say something to Suguru right now. Mend the bridge that's shattered between you. Currently, he seemed to be in a good mood. 

"Suguru," you start, taking a tiny step forward. You twiddle with your fingers. 

"Listen, I'm really sorry for how things went the last time we met. I just-" He hushes you, putting a finger to his lips. 

"You shouldn't air out your affairs in front of him like that," he tells you, "you might hurt his feelings." 

What? You look behind you again. Nothing. 

Suguru laughs. It sounds off. Wordlessly, he points behind you again but angles his finger a tiny bit higher. You follow his direction. 

Immediately, you wish you hadn't. 

He's in pieces, scattered all over the ceiling. A hand is above the door, a leg is above the kitchen. It's like his appendages were chopped before being glued onto the ceiling. There's no blood, just body parts. 

The worst part was that he was still alive. His head was still attached to his torso, the only part of him that was still intact. His mouth was open, his eyes were wide, and it took you a second that he was trying to tell you something. Repeating a word over and over. 

Run. 

Your hand covers your mouth as you continue to stare up at him. What was left of him. You think your knees are threatening to give before Suguru's holding you up. You can feel him lead you towards the couch, sitting you down in the plush mattress. He curls an arm around you, letting out a sigh.

"I meant what I said." Suguru adjusts your hair. "He was such a nice man, for a monkey anyway."

It doesn't occur to you that Suguru had done this until he speaks. You'd known Suguru said he performed exorcisms in his temple. You didn't-you couldn't-

"You?" you can barely push the wavering words out, "you-how-Suguru-" 

He hushes you, drawing you closer to his body. You're completely dwarfed by him as he rests his head on your neck, breathing in your scent. You are barely coherent, sucking in air as your voice dissolves into sobs. 

"I would have liked it if things hadn't turned out this way," he sighs, "but I don't believe it would have turned out any differently." 

His tone is almost pitying. 

"You may be the exception, but you are still one of them. Unaware of the true hierarchy." Suguru hums. 

"That's alright. It wasn't your fault. You were simply born this way," he continues, "I don't mind teaching you." 

You wiggle, trying your hardest to get out of his grip. Suguru only clicks his tongue. A harsh grip on your waist is enough to still you. You can't understand what's going on, maybe you never will, but you know one thing. You let a monster back into your life. Geto Suguru was not the same person you knew when you were younger. 

Or perhaps, he was always this way. He was just better at hiding it, back then. 

"I'm sorry," you finally let out, "Suguru, I'm-I'm so so sorry. I'll do whatever-whatever you want. Anything just please please please-" 

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for him," Suguru doesn't sound too apologetic, "though, I could put him out of his pain. Would you like that?" 

You didn't need him to elaborate. Suguru would kill him. Or perhaps he was already dead. His moving eyes, his twitching lips, were all just muscle memory. The last of his brain synapses. There was no science, no magic, that could bring him back from this. 

And maybe, that tiny selfish part of you wanted to stop seeing his mangled body. 

You nod and you can feel Suguru's grin. He snaps his fingers. The thing disappears, vanishes into mist. 

"All gone!" Suguru declares. "There. Isn't that better?" 

You wince when he touches your face, brushing away the tears. You're too scared to do anything more. You don't fight when he kisses your neck. You don't fight when he kisses your jaw. You don't fight when he kisses your lips. 

It's with the same gentleness as the last time he'd kissed you, right outside of your apartment. Soft, warm, loving. 

You start sobbing then. Ugly, heaving, heartbroken. He takes it in stride, humming as he pushes your body down until your back is pressed on the couch. His lips brush your damp cheek. 

"There's no need to be afraid." Through your tears, you can see him smiling down at you. "The worst has passed. I'll take care of you from now on." 

The worst part about all of this is how honest he sounds. Like he truly believes he's doing this for your good. It makes you wonder who the delusional one is. Him or you. 

He's tuts in sympathy as you lay there, shivering underneath him.

"You must be so confused, poor thing." He tilts his head, the back of his fingers stroking your cheeks. "I should explain, shouldn't I? Unfortunately, I'm more interested in other things right now."

You must look horrible, but Suguru doesn't seem to mind, bending down, melding your lips with his. He sighs, like he'd waited eons for this. You stiffen when you feel his hands play with the band of your skirt. As if he can feel your beginnings of struggle, he pulls back, staring you down. Brown, almost black, eyes peer down at you. There's a hint of a warning curling on his lip. 

You still immediately. If he could do that, what could he do to you?

"None of that," he chides, and yet he's so painfully gentle about it, "be good." 

What was he? How did he do this? How could he? You want to ask them all but you can only get one out when you lift your head, getting your voice to work. 

"Why?" 

You don't know what you're asking. He clearly does. Another soft smile. You wish you could tear it off his face. 

"You were always the exception, even back then," He says quietly into the stale air of the apartment. His eyes drift and you wonder if he's remembering the you all those years ago, secretly passing pastries to him and Satoru, giggling at jokes only a highschooler could make. "The only one of the humans who didn't utterly disgust me." 

Fingers reach for the hem of your skirt, pushing it up your bare legs. 

"And it's natural, isn't it? To protect the exceptions, the rarities of the world," he says, "To keep them away from the impure." 

You start crying again. He patiently hushes you, kissing away your tears. This time, you don't bother putting up a fight. You just squeeze your eyes closed, flinching when he reaches to your inner thighs, feeling the cotton of your panties. His breath hitches. So does yours. 

He bypasses the cloth with two dexterous fingers. When he touches the skin, you flinch, trying to squeeze your thighs closed. It doesn't help. Suguru leans forward, you can feel his breath on your cheek as you shiver underneath him. He finds your clit, teasing it with a calloused thumb. You think you're mouthing it, even when you can't bring yourself to say it. Don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me. 

He doesn't listen. You don't know if he heard it or not. It didn't matter, either way. It wasn’t like he was planning to stop.

Despite how much you don’t want this, your body doesn’t listen. His touch is gentle, soothing on your pussy despite the horrors you’ve seen him do. It doesn’t take long for your cunt to adjust, dripping.

There’s a satisfied sigh above you and you know Suguru had felt it too.

One finger pushes into you. You gasp, curling your back, unprepared but Suguru’s giving a pleasant hum, easing you into it. Despite how humiliating this entire situation is, your one reprieve is being able to bury your head into his neck, keeping yourself there as he continues to have his way with your body. You can feel him kiss the crown of your head, an action that completely juxtapositions another finger entering your wet hole.

He’s gentle, but not slow. He fingerfucks you with earnestness, curling his fingers when your walls tighten around him. Your crying is interrupted by the reluctant moans and gasps every time he presses deeper into you, finding a spot that has you seeing stars behind your eyelids. You bit your lip, keeping the noises inward. He tuts at that.

“Don’t be shy,” he coos in your ear, “it’s okay to enjoy it. I want you to.”

As if to highlight his words, he gives another particularly intense push, you wince when you can hear the wet squelch of his fingers.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Suguru asks, “I could always be this nice with you.” You let out a squeak when his thumb presses against your clit, unable to keep it in. Suguru gives a breathy laugh.

His other hand starts to explore, reaching up to your button-up, flicking them off with a single-experienced hand. The bra you wore is barely seductive, but Suguru’s tracing the ends of it anyway, touching the fabric just by your skin before pushing the undergarment down.

Whether it’s from the air or his fingers fucking your pussy, your tits are already sensitive. You let out a breathy whine when Suguru grips on of them too hard, squeezing the fat in his large hands.

“So sweet for me.” You can hear the smile on his lips.

Everything becomes too much, and before you can think, your hand is shooting down, grabbing onto his wrist, squeezing as hard as you can, your nails digging into his skin. Your other is pushing against his shoulder. He barely seemed to even notice, holding you down with his weight, thrusting in his fingers all the way to the knuckle.

“Suguru I-” It’s supposed to be another plea for him to stop, but your weak voice calling out his name only seems to excite him further. His thumb dances on your swollen clit, his fingers never relenting until he’s pushing you higher and higher until you fall.

White hot electric pleasure snaps within you, forcing your body to jolt, as you curl up from the sofa. You think he’s saying something, words of comfort as though he could be any crueler, but you’re not listening. You came so hard you almost forget where you are, who you’re with. You can feel Suguru watching until you fall against the cushion again, utterly spent. Your grip slackens against his wrist, before falling away completely.

“See? Didn’t I say I’ll take care of you?” You don't even have the energy to glare at him.

He’s giving another laugh, kissing your cheek before he’s leaning back. His fingers slip out of you, and then there’s a sucking sound. You can’t help it, blinking open your eyes. Suguru stares back at you, eyes half-mast, a pink tongue flicking out to lick at his fingers before he puts them in his mouth completely, swallowing down the evidence of your orgasm. A lewd moan escapes him, muffled. You once again wished you hadn’t looked.

You’re already expecting it, but you still flinch when you hear the zipper loud and clear. He moves his jeans low enough to pull out his cock. He’s already hard, a bead of precum right at the tip as he gives a few cursory pumps. He’s big, you blearily realize. Despite the mind-numbing orgasm he’d just given you, you doubt it’d be enough to even take him.

“It won’t fit,” you find yourself whispering.

Suguru just hums in acknowledgement, giving you a knowing look as he finishes tugging off your panties. The fabric slides off your shaking leg before dropping onto the carpeted floor.

It’s too late for a fight, but you’re rising anyway, pressing your hands against the cushions, trying to create some space. Suguru is quick to shut it down again, leaning back into you as he palms himself some more.

“You’ll be alright,” he assures but it doesn’t help the panic the fear in your soul, “I cherish you too much to break you.”

With little effort, he spreads your thighs. His cock rubs against you once, twice, before entering your throbbing pussy.

Already it’s too much. He’s thick, stretching out your walls, threatening to rip you in half. You close your eyes again, squeezing them shut as the pain starts to edge a little too close to bloody. Helpless, your hand finds his shoulder, not pushing but digging your nails into his shirt. He purrs when you grip him tighter, moving until he’s seated fully into you.

He stays like that, keeping himself there as your walls squeeze him tighter. It’s almost a relief that it ended, but now, he’s taken everything.

“Look at me.”

His voice is rough, almost a rasp, an order. You find yourself obeying. Through your tears, you blink up at him, finding his gaze.

He stares down at you, a look of satisfaction in his eyes and you don’t think you are yours anymore.

He pulls back, your cunt tries to suck him back in, but he drags his cock out anyway until only his head is barely inside.

“Perfect,” Suguru murmurs as though it’s a secret not even you should hear, “absolutely perfect.”

You cry out when he pushes back in. It’s a gentle pace, slow and steady like he’s easing you into it. He’s being kind, you finally realize, a thought that makes your skin crawl. It’s so much worse than if he had been nasty. Harsh and biting with thrusts that would make your body sore and weak afterwards. If he was abusive, not caring about you, just his own pleasure. You wish Suguru was being mean, being cruel. At least then, you wouldn’t like it.

Despite the unexpected size, your body is adjusting. Pain ripples into reluctant pleasure, numbing your mind as his hips meet yours. It gets even worse when Suguru leans down, biting and sucking at your tits, enough for there to leave a mark. Something that will bruise and remind you of what he did.

“You don’t know how long I wanted this,” he’s saying somewhere above you but your head is swimming and you can’t focus where you want to, “how long I’ve wanted you like this.”

Suguru sits up again, grabbing one of your legs, hiking your hips up so his cock can go that much deeper inside of you. You babble something that you yourself can’t decipher. Suguru’s lips curl into another painfully soft smile.

“Ever since highschool,” he’s confessing like he’s a sinner and you’re his God but you know that isn’t true because what sort of god would be humiliated like this? “Remember that apron you wore?”

His hand reaches over, spreading over your pussy, stretching the fatty part of your cunt so he can have a better view of him disappearing inside of you.

“I always wondered what you’d look like wearing nothing but that on, spread out on the counter for me.”

He flicks your clit, and for the second time that day, you can feel yourself crashing. As though he can sense it, his thrusts shorten, grinding against your pussy and there’s a hand catching your chin, forcing you to look.

Suguru’s smile is gone, replaced by a snarl that promises to eat you alive. His eyes are blown wide, and he’s gritting his teeth, barely holding control by a hair.

“Come for me.”

You’re too far gone to do anything but listen.

You stutter in his grasp, arching your back, cumming with a breathy whine. It’s like a tide, pushing you out into sea, refusing to take you in. Unconsciously, the leg he holds tightens around his waist as you pulse around his cock.

He follows after, barely holding himself together, not when your cunt is milking him for all its’ worth. There’s a few particularly harsh thrusts before something warm and sticky fills your battered pussy before he's falling into you, pressing your body against the soft cushions.

You lay there, panting with him on top of you. Slowly, you come back to yourself, feeling your arms your legs. Your brain resets, and you’re suddenly remembering that you have a murderer’s cock inside of you.

Suguru’s face is buried in your neck. He gives a shaky kiss to your jaw; another on the corner of your lips. You can only stare at the ceiling, where the remnants of a body used to be.

"You know, the girls have always wanted a mother," Suguru's saying into your skin.

"I'm sure they will be very pleased with my choice."

[unluckiestmember]

can I request headcanons of x-men 97 team x reader who is an absolute sweatheart and is just the cutest thing to exist.

Coming right up!

X-Men '97 X Sweetheart! Reader

Characters: Nathan Summers/Cable, Scott Summers/Cyclops, Remy LeBeau/Gambit, Jean Gray, Jubilee, Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, Morph, Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler, Rogue and Logan/Wolverine.

Warning: Mild Cursing, but overall SFW.

A/N: Can I please get someone to remind me to actually post when I'm supposed to? Anyone? XD

Cable

“Time to get to work, keep up!… You want me to carry you? Heh, say less.”

Oh Nathan, Nathan, Nathan. He tries his best to be as tough and straight to business like his old man. Always a man to try and change the future and fight for the people with a straight face. But as soon as you’re around him, your sunshine energy radiates onto him. You make the freedom fighter have a need to impress you on the field when he’s not showering you in love outside of missions.

What really drew you to him was just how careful you were with his body. How you complimented his eye and stroked his robotic arm with so much care. It has made him really adore the end of the days where particular expeditions took a lot of energy out of you two, resulting in cuddles and sweet nothings. He never understood the whole concept of loving someone like his dad loved his mom, but after meeting you, he finally understood what they had was sacred. What you two had was sacred. Nathan has lost a lot in his life, but he’ll be damned if he loses you.

Cyclops

“Are you alright?! You’re not hurt, are you? I’m not overexaggerating- I’m worrying the right amount!”

Scott can be a pain in the neck during missions. He’s always one to bark out orders and keep a level head on missions as the leader of the X-Men. And if there’s one order that’s always on the top of his list, it’s making sure you are safe. He’s by all means not an overprotective or possessive lover, but he makes it a daily part of his life to always check on his beloved. Whenever you are just being yourself, you can find him staring at you, taking in your cute energy and reciprocating it with his own cute antics like kissing your cheek or giving you gifts when you least expect it.

Are the team a bit jealous of you having Scott’s favoritism? A bit. But hey, they’d rather someone like you have the best of Scott than the worst. Even if that also includes his defensive nature of you along with his jealous antics. He means well. You know it, sometimes you just have to remind him. Whether it be with a simple talk or a passionate kiss. Face it, you keep the leader of the X-Men grounded.

Gambit

“Ah, just the person I was looking for. Is it just me or are you getting more breathtaking every day, mon cher?"

When it comes to you, Remy is bound to flirt twenty four seven just to see that nice shade of pink color on your cute little cheeks. And if he cant succeed in that, he’s bound to have you smitten with his physical hold of your waist or his sincere compliments. He’s quite a charmer, anyone knows that, but with you, he adds another flare to himself; A sweet lover.

Gambit will always make it abundantly clear that you are the cutest person he’s ever met and how he can wager the perfect future with you by his side. Expect this man to shower you with surprise trips away from the mansion, a fresh breakfast almost everyday and a little card show if you are ever upset, because if there’s one thing he hates more than anything, it’s you being upset. You are the only one that can make Gambit so emotional because he just loves you so so much. And if you ever forget, he doesn’t mind reminding his raison de vivre.”

Jean Gray

“I wish you could see what was in my mind… Maybe then you’d realize how much you mean to me, my love.”

When it comes to Jean, you’ve basically hit the jackpot on one of the most open and loving girlfriends you could ever ask for. You aren’t just a sweetheart, you are her sweetheart. She always touches you like a porcelain doll, staring into your eyes with so much affection of her own and giggling whenever you hug or hold her, prompting her to hold you or hug you back just as tightly. On missions, she is in the zone, but as soon as they are over, she’s heading straight to you to check if you are injured. And if you’re not? Expect this woman to shower you in so many compliments and love that you might just drown from the cuteness.

Jean isn’t just your protector, but also your best friend, always free to try anything you want to try and do what you want to do.Dare she say, you might be the love of her life. Screw being lovers, she wants to be a married couple. But as much as that gets her excited, she’ll take her time for you, because she knows whether it takes her whole life or a single day, she doesn’t mind waiting for the fateful day.

Jubilee

“That was awesome! Did you see me out there- Did you?! Let me let you in on a secret; That last one was for you~!”

Because of how young she is and her lack of a love life, Jubilee is still pretty new to the whole dating and falling in love thing. But when she met you, she knew she was bound to fall in love with someone so positive and full of life. An embodiment of a firework if she said so herself. She always drags you around town with her to hangout at arcades or spend time in the mall grabbing lunch and doing cute couple things.

She cares about you enough to ask other X-Men members advice on how to treat you or show you how much you mean to her. It honestly impresses and shocks the team how this troublemaker tries her best to make you feel like the luckiest person in the world dating her. If she’s not showing her love for you through domestic activities, then look outside your window at night. You are bound to find Jubilee sending you love with her fireworks bound to make you giggle and smile. Which is always delightful because when you are filled with so much happiness, so is she.

Magneto

“What we have is stronger than any magnetic pull I’m capable of. It’s terrifying. But also magnificent.”

If you ever wanted to be treated like royalty, Magneto is the man for you. Erik treats you like you are a precious flower that could be destroyed by the mutant hating world around you. Because of this, he is so careful with you, yet not overbearing. If you want to hang out outside or simply hang out with him, he doesn’t mind as long as no one looks at you the wrong way or touches you with ill intent. Because if they do?… Let’s just say Magneto can do a lot with his powers.

When he’s not making sure you’re safe, he is awestruck at your innocence and your positive outlook on life. At first, he actually found your vision of the world to be immature, untrue and above all stupid. But the more he’s spent time with you, you’ve seem to have melted his cold heart a bit. Does he still think humanity is the scum of the Earth and nothing can change? Yes. But with you by his side, showing him what love, understanding and acceptance can be, maybe, just maybe, he can see where you’re coming from.

Morph

“Why the long face, babe? I can do a mean Magneto impression that’s sure to make you smile… Haha! There’s my love!”

Around people, Morph treats you almost like one of the guys, in a figurative sense. They don't treat you any differently from the rest of his friends and family within the team. But behind closed doors or when you two are alone, all bets are off. They are melting at your sweet nature and so quick to try to make you laugh, smile or get physical with them. Man, do they love when you get physical with him- They adore it!

But what they really loves is how caring and protecting of them you are. They've told you about their past, their run in with Mister Sinister and their time away from the team. And no matter how many nightmares or moments of body dysmorphia he experiences, they love how you are always there to pick up their loose pieces and put them back together with your gentle touch and gentler words. Because of this, they're always there to return the favor and comfort you as well when you are at your lowest. You are their best friend sorry Logan and their beloved and they wouldn’t want it any other way.

Nightcrawler

“Liebe meines Lebens. You never cease to take my breath away.”

Kurt is a pretty romantic person, especially when it comes to you. He showers you endlessly in love, rubbing his nose against yours, showering your face in kisses and becoming putty when you hold him, even if it’s just by his arm! He cherishes moments where the both of you hang out, especially by gardens where he makes cute flower crowns with you. Though just any moments with you are the highlight of his day. On missions, you two synergize perfectly well with the blue mutant complimenting you on your moves and takedowns of foes.

Kurt is an expert at physical touch for a love language, but he’s just as amazing with his words, especially with the nicknames he’s given you. He’ll make sure everyone knows that you are his Schatz, Herz, bessere Hälfte, and of course, Liebe meines Lebens. To you, he’s a lot like a little puppy; Full of energy and always waiting for your attention and affection given to him. The team thinks you two are cute even if they find it a bit annoying that Nightcrawler is always teleporting you two all over the place. It’s not too bad though since the sound of your mixing laughter is enough to make everyone’s hearts soar happily.

Rouge

“Hey, Sugar! I missed you so much today! Now come here, I at least want a hug!”

Rogue is super careful of you. You are just too precious to her and she doesn’t want to hurt or break you with her powers. So she makes sure you both have ways of showing one another how much you love each other, especially herself. Outside of soft hugs, she tries her best to give you a hand covered kiss. Though she can be super cheesy and exchange indirect kisses with rocks, feed you while chuckling at how adorably you stare at her like she hung the stars above. She’ll even have you both set up for dinner plans and fly you around in the sky if you ever want to destress from work as a X-Man.

You both have a cute relationship, even if there are moments where Rogue wonders if she deserves you or if she will ever be enough for you due to her destructive powers and the possibility she will never be able to touch you. These revelations have led to emotional nights, but the promise you make to touch her and make her the happiest woman in the world always makes Rogue realize that she is beyond lucky to have you. You make her want to find a way to touch you no matter what. And mark her words, she will.

Wolverine

“Woah, little pup. I was just gone for a few hours, you act like I went to war or something! Aw, screw it, come here.”

Logan has fallen in love with many men and women during his years of living. But damn has he never met anyone quite like you! When he met you, he thought your whole sweetheart shtick was fake, no offense. He thought it was some trick used to get people to lower their guards around you so you can get the upper hand on them. But when he found out you really were the sweet soul everyone hyped you up to be, he slowly but surely fell for you. He fell for how you spoke to him with such understanding and patience. The way you touched him was with the utmost care when you took care of him and helped him clean blood from your adventures with him that got out of hand.

Logan fights for many people, but for you he will kill anyone that hurts you or makes you cry. Your smile lights up his whole life, your laugh pushes him to be stronger to preserve it and your touch makes him feel alive in a world that always knocks him down. If it’s not the X-Men, Wolverine usually fights for himself and only himself. But now that he has you to lose, he fights for the both of you and a future where you both can live a peaceful life you’re both proud of.

If you got any requests for X-Men '97, Blue Eye Samurai, and or Arcane, send them my way!

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3

[etherealkissed88]

how i manifest when i feel anxious •°. *࿐

i decide i have what i want…

when i feel anxiety -> i let it pass while knowing its only a human reaction

◦ since i am beyond just a human (i am limitless imagination/self), i know any anxiety is below me and it has nothing to do with my limitless self. i have exactly what i decided i have, regardless of any anxiety.

know anxiety usually comes from a fear of failure

◦ so, i cannot limit myself based on what i see or what i negatively assume my future will look like bc i am always beyond the 3d, no matter what feelings/anxiety my human self experiences.

◦ i become indifferent/i dont care about what i see or what i assume i will see because i know everything comes together in the 3d once i change self/know its done. fact: everything always comes together and works out in the end. being indifferent to the 3d = being indifferent to emotions, anxiety and everything that doesnt serve you.

dont fight it, dont avoid it, tackle it head on

◦ acknowledge you are experiencing anxiety bc you are. yes it can feel like shit but it doesnt have to affect who you are being (whatever version of self you are embodying). again, i can choose to be indifferent to this anxiety. you dont have to be scared of the anxiety. it is a natural human response. cry if you need to, let it all out. dont try to suppress it bc that will only come to bite you back in the ass, believe me.

◦ take care of your mental health in whatever ways necessary. when i used to experience anxiety, i used to take walks in the park, clear my head, meditate, express myself and my emotions through art and journaling, etc. remember nothing you do (or feel) in the 3d has to affect who you are being/your state.

"how can i still have anxiety yet still be a desired version of me?"

anxiety has no affect on anything unless you allow it to change your identity. you are the one with power, the anxiety is only an experience, similar to breathing in oxygen and using our sense of touch; its all neutral. when you start surrendering to the anxiety, you are creating and accepting negative stories that you create based on the feeling of anxiety. allowing that anxious feeling to change your state/identity is surrendering to something you view as more "powerful" than you. stop transforming that anxiety into a state that you embody based on the false, negative stories u imagine.

remember a 3d experience or anxious feelings doesnt have to influence who you are being. an example: a model who knows (fulfilled) that she is graceful and beautiful can have anxiety about doing her catwalk. the anxiety is normal, she can experience the symptoms of anxiety (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking) but her core identity/state is still a graceful model. the anxiety is only a temporary feeling. usually when we experience these feelings, they occupy all of our attention in that moment which is why it seems so scary but in reality, its not that big a deal. know that anxiety is just a feeling. you are safe. you can still experience shitty feelings while knowing you are a bad bitch!

you dont always identify with everything you experience. for example, a lot of people experience good things and still identify as people who are unworthy of good things. so its really up to you to choose what to identify with.

i know my only job is knowing its done

◦ if i just decided its done, as the operant power, as i say goes, therefore its done. so my job is done. anxiety is part of the 3d, not my limitless self, imagination. so i can be indifferent and experience it without identifying with it, the same way people manifest what they desire while experiencing their shitty circumstances daily (because they do not identify with those shitty experiences).

◦ ive heard/experienced situations where we know its done yet we cried and felt like shit, and what we wanted still manifested into the 3d. bc anxiety is only a feeling. do not allow your feelings to take hold of your state, but if it does, its never the end of the world... just get back in the state. 3d shit/anxiety doesnt have to intervene with who you are being/what you identify with.

kisses, jani ☆

[dapper-nahrwhale]

hnnm

[cranberry-writes]

Dating Headcannons for The Boys characters!

Please send requests, i need motivation

Characters listed; Hughie, Butcher, M.M, Frenchie, Kimiko

Warnings; Mentioned drinking and cannon typical violence/language. Also i’m barely on season 2 please bear with me

Hughie;

- He’s so so sweet about your relationship

- He gets you flowers for no reason other than he saw them and thought you’d like them

- He has thousands of reminders so he won’t forget anything, from a drink you liked to your anniversary he will have it written down.

- Later on in the series he gets protective and cautious about the relationship, scared someone (homelander) will mess it up by hurting you

- He’ll probably push you away a bit to try and protect you but after you knock some sense into him he’ll be back to normal

- Loves park/library dates, going on a picnic during the summer and to the library when it’s to cold out.

- He will do so much for you (flowers, gifts, dates etc) and insist it’s nothing but will cry (happy tears) if you do the same

- Don’t get me wrong tho, he’s still a bad ass (sometimes). He just dosnt want you to think differently of him because of it, he’s hurt people, killed people, and he honestly isn’t too keen on focusing on it. Even if you two are in the same line of work.

- And if you two don’t work together he tries to keep his ‘work’ life and dating life separate, very separate.

“You’ve never told me what you do for work, maybe i could stop by and meet your co-workers.”

“Uh, actually, i don’t think that’ll work.”

“Why not? is everything ok there or something?”

“I-, uhm, work alone, so i don’t even have coworkers for you to meet really, it’s really boring infact you’d probably fall asleep just from me talking about it hahaha.”

- You find out like two days later

Butcher;

- Little shit

- I mean that affectionately

- His pet names will range anywhere from “Darlin’” to “Fucker” and i WILL stand by it

- He’ll probably introduce you to his work before he does his dog

- But his dog is the big ticket, you meeting Terror is essentially his way of proposing before proposing

- He’s protective but not in the “i’ll watch your every move” more in the “im teaching you how to use every weapon to ever exist” way

- Honestly work would probably come before you for a while before he sucks it up and actually makes an effort

- Dates will be at the most shity bar imaginable, unless he’s apologizing for something then he’ll take you to the nicest place he can and put on a suit. (it’s the Cheese Cake factory and he’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt under his jacket but he’s trying)

- Unlike Hughie he will introduce you to his work at some point, granted it would still be a while before he did but he would at some point.

- He’s sweet in his own way

“Darlin’, look what i got ya.” And it’s a Garfield shirt a size to big but you still wear it anyways

MM;

- Definition of husband material

- remembers anything and everything after being told one time

- makes you baths with rose petals and candles and all that stuff if you mention you’ve been tired lately

- Takes you out to the movies and a nice restaurant at least twice a month

- Good gods he’s sweet to you

- He knows how to cook/bake and will make stuff for you all the time

- My guy will make a meal from your culture and practice making it almost daily just to give you a taste of home.

- He really loves back massages and cuddling after a long day

- Put on some crappy reality show for background noise and nap together

- He wants you as far away as humanly possible from his work, will literally say shit like “everyone at work has the plague you can’t visit” as a joke to try and change the subject

- Chances are you won’t find out

- His favorite flowers are tulips and nothing will change my mind about it

“Baby what are these?”

“Tulips, I bought them from a street market on 11th today. They’re your favorite, right?”

“Gods, sweetheart you’re perfect.”

Frenchie;

- When you two meet you both think it’s just going to be a one night stand

-…then it’s two nights, then three, then a week, then you start spending more time at his place than your own. One day you guys just realize you’re moved in and dating

“Are we dating?”

“…Was there anything else we could be mon cœur?”

- honestly i don’t think you two would get together if you weren’t working together, or at least you were also into some shady shit

- But overall you guys have a strong relationship, one gets hurt the other kills someone, someone is hungry the other is already cooking, stuff like that

- He also cooks but it’s only french food, it’s like a super power. He can cook any french food effortlessly but literally anything else he messes up

- If you are french he’ll be super happy someone else will appreciate the same stuff in a similar way

- If not then he’ll be happy to share stuff with you, teach you some french words and tell you about stuff he grew up with

- Honestly he’s just happy someone (other than Kimiko) will listen and take an interest

Kimiko

-I have a confession to make, Kimiko is my favorite and i have a very blatant bias towards her

- Kill anyone you want bby i don’t care ill always like you

- Anyways, It probably takes you a while to get close enough to her that she’ll consider dating you

- Once y’all get to that point i don’t think you could break it tho

- I think she would like constant minimal physical contact, like hand holding or leaning on each other

- I think she’d be pretty protective over you, like someone looks at you wrong and she wants to maul them

- Learn sign language with/for her she will love it

- Draw with her, get her supplies, like those alcohol markers i’m sure she’ll love them

- Honestly i don’t think she’d be big on pet names, she wouldn’t object to it but i don’t think she’d give you one first

- Cook for her, i just think it would be sweet and she deserves it

“I got you some of those markers you’ve been looking at for a while.”

Thank you, this is nice

- Please she’s perfect i love her

[ukiiseikou]

in my dreams, you love me back / don't wake me up, deceive me sweetly

various hsr (dan heng, aventurine, sunday, jing yuan) characters as isekai romance tropes.

dan heng in: helping that useless prince!

the exiled prince! he ends up settling in a modest (for him - raised with a silver spoon in his mouth and all) cottage. he finds usual peasant housework and chores difficult to deal with, so he employs you to help him around the house. you wake up already months into the job, and he finds it extremely weird how his usually quiet housekeeper is suddenly all chipper and nosy into his work and daily life (i mean, he employed you in the first place because he were anything but that). he doesn't find the change bothersome though, and catches himself starting to look forward to your sudden barging into his room in the middle of the day with his tea balanced precariously in your hands, bringing a new type of entertainment into his less than exciting life.

aventurine in: stopping us from going broke!

you've reincarnated into the body of the wife of the gambler noble: aventurine. originally just a side character who gets all his money taken away from him by the male lead in service of the plot, you work to stop that aaaaaall from happening - mostly to save yourself. your current life is cushy and you would love to keep it that way! along the way, you've gotten to interact more with your husband, who usually keeps out of your way and only speaks in condescending tones. eventually, you find out that nothing is as it seems, and you discover more and more of your husband's past, and you slowly find yourself finally falling in love with each other, slowly, slowly.

sunday in: wait, is this story about us?

sunday is the tragic villain of the story - obsessed with keeping the status quo, his plans keep getting thwarted by a pesky pest - YOU. after all, he is your favourite character, and you would rather not see him go down the path that leads to certain death. you keep taking random tools that will help him, and his informants keeps mysteriously disappearing under unknown circumstances. his messages sent by bird never seem to reach their destination and his henchmen are always tripping over misplaced equipment and the main leads never seem to be where he needs them to be. he eventually pins the blame on you, and turns his gaze and focus on getting you to his side before continuing on with his plans. after all, anyone who can thwart his plans and keep up with him like this deserves to be rewarded and kept by his side, not killed.

jing yuan in: saving the general

he's the general who strikes fear into his enemies. he's the teacher whose students barely make it out alive every class. he's your sleepy boss who makes you do everything. yes, the feared and mighty general in private is utterly dependent on you in his private and daily life. as an avid reader of the original novel, where jingyuan is killed so that his mentee - the protagonist, goes off on his hero's journey in revenge, you never knew that being his assistant would be such a hassle. but the protagonist is currently a child, and he runs around your feet - so much so that you are starting to question whether the him whose challenging you to a duel right now with a wooden sword when he's only half your size is the same character as the one you read on the pages of the book. either way, you should be responsible and raise him well, while also hopefully saving him from the heartache that is losing his father figure in a few years. after all, you've gotten yourself in his good graces, and you kind of have a soft spot for him as well, not that you'll ever admit it.