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atlafan · 5 years ago

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I’m Having Your Baby - Part 2

a/n: professor!Harry one shot! if someone could tell me why I’m a SLUT for professor!Harry that would be great. 9K of angst, some smut and fluff. not proofread. Thank you all for the overwhelming support of the first part, I couldn’t believe how much everyone liked it! The story won’t be continuing from her, and I didn’t want to continue it all, but I got so many kind words I didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging. I hope you all like it as much as the first part!

Read I’m Having Your Baby Part 1 here.

Needless to say, things got very awkward around the house between the two of you after your little romp. It felt amazing, it was so nice to just have someone tough you…but you felt guilty. You used him. He felt guilty too. He knew you were vulnerable and maybe not thinking straight.

“I said yes to a question I should have said no to.”

Is all you said to him before getting out of his bed, and going back to your own. It was impulsive and stupid, and the two of you knew it. He wanted you to answer his more important question, but you couldn’t wrack your head around it. Did you want to be his girlfriend again? Did he truly mean he wanted you again, and not just because you were carrying his child? It was too much to think about, so you didn’t.

You barely spoke over the next few days, or than some good mornings or how’d you sleeps, and the car rides were absolutely silent. During your lunch break on Monday, you decide to call Nora, and tell her what happened. Maybe she could snap you out of whatever it was going through your mind.

“I know you have pregnancy brain and all, but are you fucking stupid?”

“Nora…” You sigh.

“I mean, buy a fucking dildo if you need something up in there!”

“It wasn’t about that! No one had even touched me since the last time he and I had sex, I need to be touched by someone other than myself. You know what’s aggravating? I was supposed to have a date the day I found out I was pregnant. Of course I cancelled it, but sometimes I wish I hadn’t. I mean, people date pregnant people right?”

“Oh please, that would’ve gotten complicated and you know it. How have things been at home?”

“Silent…he can barely look at me. I think he feel used.”

“Good, shoe is on the other foot for a change.” She pauses for a moment. “So you haven’t even talked about it?”

“He tried to after…he basically told me he wanted us to be together again, and I told him we wouldn’t even be talking if it weren’t for the baby, and he said he didn’t believe that. Like he was so confident we would have found our way back to each other again.”

“Horse shit.”

“I know, and then he asked me what he could do to prove that he’s serious, and I got up and left the room.”

“Good! Don’t give into him. You’re living with him out of security and necessity. How was it?”

“How was what?”

“The sex?”

“God, it was incredible! He remembered exactly what I liked, and the familiarity just made everything so much intense. I’d do it again if he didn’t think it meant something.”

“That’s just your hormones talking.”

“Yeah, well, they’re screaming at me now. I want it all the time, and now that I’ve had it again I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Buy a dildo, watch some porn, and stay in your own room.”

You had another bad dream, a nightmare really. You woke up drenched in sweat, and you were horrified at the things your brain was coming up with. You sit up and start crying. It was still early in the evening, it was only around 9:30PM. You had started going to bed earlier since the incident. Harry was just getting upstairs when he heard you. He sighs and goes further down the hall, and taps on your door.

“Y/N?” He opens it slightly and his face falls when he sees your hands covering yours.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” He says softly, inching further into the room. “What happened?”

“I had a bad dream.” You whisper. You feel his weight dip the bed, and you look over at him.

“What was it this time?”

“I…I gave birth prematurely, like now, and I was all alone. No one was there with me other than the doctor, and it wasn’t even my doctor. Then they handed me this thing and I could just feel it’s heartbeat, and it died right there in my hand, Harry.”

“Oh, honey…”

He scoops you up and holds you in his arms, rocking you back and forth as you cry into him. He ribs your back and whispers that everything’s going to be alright. He kisses your hairline over and over to soothe you, and you hate yourself because it works.

“Would you…” You look up at him. “I mean, would it be too much to ask for you to stay in here with me tonight? I’m afraid to even close my eyes again. It just felt so real.”

“Of course. Let me just go do my thing and I’ll be right back, okay?” You nod and watch him get up to leave. He’s back in a few minutes in his bed clothes, and he gets under the covers with you. You both lay on your backs staring at the ceiling. You look over at him. “Harry…I’m really sorry about a few days ago.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“No…we should talk about it.”

“What’s there to talk about?” He looks at you. “You obviously regretted it, and then I opened my big mouth and freaked you out even more.” He rolls onto his side and places his hand on your lower stomach. “I don’t wanna do or say anything that’s gonna stress you out, that’s why I haven’t said much in the last few days.”

“I don’t regret it, fuck, I needed it.” You place your hand over his. “But it can’t happen again, that’s not why I’m here, you know?”

“I know.” He closes his eyes and looks at you again. “You wouldn’t even be talkin’ to me if you weren’t pregnant.” And just like that, he flipped the script. Why did you suddenly feel guilty?

“We talk.”

“Only if it’s work related…through email…that day you called me, even if it was just through the office phone, I think my heart leapt out of my chest. I thought maybe you were callin’ me because you missed me.” You scoff at him.

“You think I would’ve be the one to come crawling back?”

“Maybe not crawling…” He smirks. “I don’t know what I thought. Maybe if you came to me first I could just beg you to take me back.”

“Harry, you were already fucking someone else, I wouldn’t have been coming to get back together with you, and certainly not in the middle of the day at school.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you knew about Kelly. It wasn’t anything serious, she was just a distraction.”

“That’s an awful thing to say.”

“I know. I’ve come to realize that maybe I’m not as good of a person as I thought I was. Here I am, this professor that students fight for seats in my class for, and I can’t even be a decent fucking person to the one person that mattered to me.”

“Your book smart, not street smart.” You laugh. “You’ve always been better when it comes to work things. You’re cute Harry, but you’re also this very awkward guy. Charming when you need to be, maybe even suave, but one on one, you’re a goofball.”

“And you always set me straight, and called me out, even when we were just friends.”

“I was so shocked that day you asked me out, I nearly choked on my lunch. You were so blunt.”

“I was relieved when it didn’t take much convincing for you to say yes. That was a fun first date, wasn’t it?”

“Mm, you took me to that bar and we danced practically the whole night.”

“And you said the entire night I wasn’t to come inside with you because you knew what would happen if I did.”

“And you said don’t pretend like you’re a good girl all of a sudden.” You giggle. “That shook me to my core, I’m not gonna lie.”

“I know it did, that’s why you brought me inside your place that night, and you showed me how good you can be.” He smirks again.

“Alright, that’s enough.” You take his hand away from your stomach. “We don’t need to go down memory lane right now.”

“Do you think…I mean, I get it, you don’t want me. I suppose I wouldn’t want me either with how awful I was to you…but, we were friends once. Couldn’t we be friends again? We’ve been civil sure, but we’re not friends right now.”

“I think being friends could work. I think that’s what hurt the most when it ended, I felt like I lost my best friend.”

“Nora’s your best friend.”

“Nora’s my best girlfriend, but you…” You reach up and cup his cheek, and he leans into your touch. “I don’t know, I think that’s why my heart was so broken.” You take your hand away. “Like, it killed me that there were things I wanted to tell you first over anyone else.”

“The same thing happened to me, I think that’s why I got involved with Kelly…she was just there, you know?”

“Mhm.” You roll your eyes. “Let’s go to sleep now, yeah?”

“Okay.” He leans in and kisses your forehead before fully turning onto his other side. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

He always did that when you were together. He’d kiss your forehead and turn over. It was his signal that he wanted to be the little spoon. The only comfortable position was on your back, and you weren’t quite sure if he realized what he was doing. He did just like sleeping on that side, also. You try to shake everything from your mind, and go back to sleep.

“Hi Sally.” Harry smiles at your admin when he comes into your office.

“Oh, hi Harry! How are you?”

“I’m great, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you.” She smiles. She looks at the large brown paper bag in his hand. “That smells good.”

“Surprising Y/N with a special lunch today.”

“Ohhh, how lucky is she, hm?” She looks over at your closed office door. “She’s just finishing up with her 11:30.”

“Alright.”

Your door opens and a young man leaves. He smiles and nods at Sally before he exits. Sally gets up to go to your office.

“Y/N?”

“I can’t wait for some of these kids to move on to their advisors for next year. Kid gave me a fucking headache.” You sigh. “These back to backs are gonna be the death of me, Sally.”

“Well, I think I know of something that’ll take your mind right off it. Harry’s here with lunch, and it smells greasy.”

“Oh? That’s surprising. He can come on in.”

She nods and lets him know he’s free to go in. He comes in and closes the door, taking a seat in one of your spare chairs.

“This is nice.” You smile.

“Thought we could use a break from the grille. I stepped out quick and went to Burger King. I know you prefer McDonald’s, but Burger King has the impossible meat. S’not much better for you, but I’ve had it a couple times and it’s a nice treat. Got them without mayo, and got you extra pickles on yours.” He reaches into the bag and hands it to you.

“Thank you! It smells so good. I really didn’t want my salad anyways.” He looks at your water bottle and smiles.

“You’re even ahead on your water, good girl.” He says biting into his burger. You can’t help but giggle.

“That’s the worst inside joke there is.”

“Come on, you love it.” He smirks. He watches you take a bite of the burger and you moan. “Good, right?”

“It really tastes like meat! Did you happen to get fries too?”

“Nope, I opted for apple slices.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“The fries there aren’t even that good.”

“You should’ve gone to McDonald’s and gotten their fries, now that would’ve been thinking.”

“Mm, right, and then your doctor would’ve killed me for cloggin’ your arteries.”

“It’s just potato.”

“Fried and greasy potato.” He shakes his head. “I’ll tell you what though, I’ll chop up some of the potatoes we have at home and roast them for you, just how you like.”

“Fair enough. Hand me the apples.” You had scarfed down the burger quickly. He reaches into the bag and hands you the slices.

“Wanna go for a quick walk? You should get outta your office while you can. S’a nice day out too.”

“Sure.” You shrug. “I can’t wait to go to the doctor next week, we’ll be able to know the sex of the baby.”

“I’m really excited.”

You both head out and start your walk. Harry kept a slow pace for you, he didn’t want you getting too tired that you couldn’t do your job later.

“I’m gonna have to go shopping this weekend I think, my clothes are starting to get really tight.” You groan.

Harry had noticed your clothes getting tight, but they were tight in all the right ways. Your breasts and ass were fuller, and he often couldn’t help himself from looking. He thought you got more beautiful as each day passed, and there was something about whenever he’d look at your bump that would drive him a little crazy. It was something about knowing that he did this to you, that no one else really had you.

“We could go to that maternity store at the mall. Could be a good excuse to also start putting a registry together for your baby shower. My mum wants to be us the crib, she’s insisting on it.”

“Good idea, and my mom wants to buy me this like state of the art breast pump.”

“So she’s come around a bit?”

“Yeah, she has.” You smile. “Nora’s gonna be putting the shower together for me, so that takes some of the stress away, and they wanna do one for me at work as well.”

“So it’s settled, we’ll do some shopping this weekend.”

“Have you had a chance to see if there are any three bedroom condos in the complex?”

“Not yet, love. I’ve been busy grading and advising too. Soon though. I’ll have time to look into things once the semester is over.”

“Must be nice to have summers off.” You huff.

“They should just let you work from home, it’s not like you meet with students in the summer. As I recall it was just emails and phone calls. They really only needed you on campus for the admissions events.”

“Honestly, I think I’m going to ask if I can do that. I could easily meet with my team through conference calls. It’s gonna hot and I’ll be way too uncomfortable trying to look professional. At least it’ll be warm enough to wear dresses and stuff.”

“You’ll look good no matter what, I hope you know that. You’ve been glowing.”

“You’re just saying that.” You nudge him. “Everything feels sore, and I’m starting to get stretch marks. I’m starting to think cocoa butter doesn’t really do shit.” Harry can’t help but laugh, and you start laughing too.

After your walk, Harry goes his separate way back to his building, and you go to yours. Sally gives you a knowing smile and you shake your head at her.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She grins. “You just seem to be in better spirits. You always are with him.”

“Not always.”

“You are though, he’s making you happy again. He even brought you junk food, I was shocked.”

“Me too.” You walk up and grab a mint from her desk. “Maybe…I mean, do you really think people can change?”

“I do, sometimes. He should want to change to be better for himself, he shouldn’t just change for you because then it won’t stick. I’ve heard things though. He was a wreck after your break up, even if he didn’t lead on that way. I think he still loves you.”

“I have no doubt that he loves me, Sally.” You sigh. “I never doubted that, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love him too, but sometimes that’s just enough.”

It was true, you never stopped loving Harry. As much as he broke your heart, you loved him endlessly. And you knew he loved you too. Every time he looked at you, you could see it on his face. You just couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You were better off as friends, and that was that.

“Baby’s healthy and so is mumma.” You doctor says to you. “Would you like to know the sex of the baby?”

“Yes!” You and Harry say at the same time.

“Well, you see that little thing right there?” She points to the monitor. “It would appear that you’re having a little boy.” She smiles.

You and Harry look at each other, and you both tear up. You wrap your arms around each other, and he kisses you cheek, lingering for a moment too long, but right now you didn’t care.

“Could we have a couple of those printed, I’d like to send one to my mum and sister.” He says.

“Of course.”

Once you get your belly cleaned up, you two head out to the car.

“Guess your hunch was right.” He puts your lower stomach. “Got a little boy in there.”

“Mhm, we should go through the baby name book and start seeing which ones we like.” Harry starts the car and begins the drive back to campus. “I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate for the rest of the day.”

“You know…I don’t say thank you enough.”

“For what?”

“Most people wouldn’t as lucky as I am. I mean, do most baby daddies get to be this involved? We live together, you’re lettin’ me be a part of so much.”

“Ugh, please don’t refer to yourself as a baby daddy.” You laugh. “And you’re only this involved because you want to be. I never asked to live with you.” You put your hand over his. “If there isn’t someone who says thank you enough, it’s me.”

A couple of weeks later you were just lounging in bed with a book when you felt the baby kick for the first time. It didn’t even hurt like you thought it might. You couldn’t believe he was kicking already, maybe he was just trying to make some room to grow. Harry had to see this. You get up and shuffle down the hall to his room. You tap on the door before opening in.

“Harry?” You look around and didn’t see him in there, but you could hear his shower running. You walk further in and knock on his bathroom door. “Harry?!”

“Shit.” You hear him say. “Yeah?!”

“The baby’s kicking! I thought you might like to feel…”

“Uhhh, fuck, umm, could you give me like five minutes?! I’ll come to your room!”

“Okay!”

You shrug it off and go back to your room. About ten minutes later, Harry comes in, only wearing a pair of shorts. He hated getting dressed right after a shower.

“Sorry, I was, uh, in the middle of washing my hair.” A lie, but her certainly wasn’t going to tell he was jerking it. He gets on the bed and sits between your legs. “Where’d you feel it?”

“Right here, give me your hands, maybe he’ll do it again.” You take hands and place them where you felt the baby kick before.

“Oh my god!” Harry gasps when he feels it. “It doesn’t hurt?”

“Not really. I’m sure it will once he gets a little bigger. This is so cool, it just makes it more real, you know?” He hums his response.

“Have you done your nightly lotion?”

“Not yet.”

“I could put it on for you if you want. I know you’ve been stressed with the kids at work.”

“It’s just another week or two of the crazy busy part, it’ll die down soon. Although…” You were touch starved and the thought of his large hands on you in some way was thrilling. You grab the jar of cocoa butter and hand it to him. “Thanks.”

He lifts your shirt up slightly, just over your bump, and starts rubbing it on gently. A happy sigh escapes your lips and your eyes flutter closed. You feel him tug at your pajama pants, and your eyes snap open.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t you need some a bit lower?” He was being genuine, not really seeing the problem.

“I can do that.”

“M’not takin’ your pants off, would you relax, lemme get your lower stomach for you.”

You wanted him to take your pants off, you wanted him to rip them away and do what he did best.

“See? All done.” He smiles and hands you back the jar. He gets off the bed, and goes to leave.

“Could you close the door all the way for me?”

“I thought we agreed on leaving them open a crack so I could hear if you called f’me?”

“We did…but…” Your cheeks flush. “Never mind, you know what? I need a pickle.” You get up and pull your shirt down.

“It’s a new jar I think, let me go down and open it for you.”

You both go down to the kitchen and Harry gets the jar open for you. Your eyes sparkle once you’re able to snatch one. You wrap your lips around in and close your eyes as you take a nice big bite.

“Christ.” He says under his breath, and you look at him.

“What?”

“Nothin’.” He blushes and looks away from you.

“Do you want one?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

“Really, you can have one. They taste so good, I think it’s the salt. I’ve been really into salty things lately.

He wanted to say he had something salty for you that you could wrap your lips around, but he wouldn’t dare. Things had been so peaceful with you lately, and he didn’t want to ruin it, as much as he wanted to ruin you.

“Did you get a new tattoo?” You point to his upper arm. “I don’t remember that one.”

“Hm?” He looks down at it. “Oh yeah, I got drunk one night with Max like a couple of months ago and we each got one. It was like right after we broke up.” He shrugs.

“I don’t know how you have any room left on that arm. Will you ever fill up the other one?”

“I kinda like the way it looks, it’s sort of lop sided.”

“But your chest and stomach is so symmetrical. Same with your legs, you have those ones on your knees and ankles.”

“My legs aren’t symmetrical.” He pulls up one side of his shorts to remind you of his tiger tattoo.

“Okay, minus that one.” You scoff.

“And you still don’t have any.” He smirks.

“Nope, and I never will.” You grab another pickle and bite into it. “I always like this one.” You graze your fingers over the mermaid. “She’s realistic looking, you know? Think my boobs are just as saggy.” You laugh.

“Y/N.” He chuckles. “Your boobs are not…” He sighs. “You have a beautiful body, okay?”

“Not anymore.” You roll your eyes.

“I disagree.” He crosses his arms.

“Gimme a break, Harry. This is not sexy.” You rub your belly. “It’s gross.”

“Again, I disagree.” He leans back against the counter. “Just more to love, that’s all.”

“God, I’m definitely gaining weight.” You groan. “I don’t know how, we both eat so healthy.”

“You order dessert every time we go out to eat, that’s why.” He says not looking at you. “You have no self-control with your sweet tooth.”

“Gee thanks.”

“I’m just sayin’, you can sit there and pout, or you could make some changed. If you need to have a dessert you could start goin’ to the gym with me. I’m allowed to have guests.”

“No offense, but I’ve seen you work out, and I don’t think I’d have much fun doing it with you. You’re way too intense.”

“We could run together.”

“You’d just go far ahead of me.”

“You’re makin’ excuses.” He turns to look at you. “Make a change or not, but don’t complain to me when you keep getting…plushy.”

“More to love!” You laugh. “You’re like the most fat phobic person I’ve ever met.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Any time I ever talked about gaining weight or anything you just made me feel worse about it.”

“Well…you sort of have a reason for gaining weight now. Before you didn’t, you were eating like shit.”

“I was not!”

“Yeah, you were. You always had like three different tubs of ice cream in your freezer, and anytime you’d have some you always went back for seconds. S’not a treat if you do it all the time. And that wasn’t me being fat phobic, I just wanted you to be healthy.”

“Well, you had a funny way of showing it.”

“My step-father died from a heart attack, Y/N, he had heart disease because he ate like shit all the time. I was scared…especially after you told me your doctor said your cholesterol.”

“That runs in my family! I don’t eat red meat for that very reason.”

“I just wanted you around as long as possible, maybe I had a bad way of showin’ it, but I was coming from a good place.”

“Whatever.” You shake your head.

“I know I was a dick okay? It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, right?”

“Exactly.”

“Well, I apologize. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that or made you feel that way. I’m sure there were other ways I could’ve gotten my point across.” You put the jar of pickles down and turn to look at him.

“Yeah, there were. You could be such an asshole sometimes.”

“I know.” You step a little closer to him.

“It was really annoying.”

“I know.”

“And you made it impossible to stay mad sometimes, which ended up pissing me off too.”

“I wasn’t that great of a boyfriend, I don’t know why you put up with me as long as you did, to be honest.” He presses his forehead to yours.

“I don’t know either.” You say, just above a whisper.

He starts sniffling and backs away from you.

“Sorry.” He wipes his eyes.

“Harry…”

“I just, I’m so mad at myself for fucking things up so badly. I feel like I fucked up my one shot at having a real love, and I’m frustrated.”

“You didn’t, you’ll find it again.”

“Yeah.” He scoffs. “Just not with you, right?”

“You don’t want these with me!” You slam your fist down on the counter. “You just think you do because I’m-“

“I swear to god, I’m gonna lose my shit if you say that one more time! I’m still in love with you, I never fell out of love with you! I didn’t want to break up, you did!”

“Fuck you, Harry. If you wanted us to work you would’ve fought for us more. You didn’t even care that we started sleeping separately, or that we weren’t having sex, or-“

“I was trying to give you the space you seemed to have wanted! I may not have been perfect, but you weren’t either. You picked just as many fights with me as I did with you. I really saw a future with you, but there were times I felt like you didn’t see one with me.”

“You literally flipped out on me when I asked you to make some room for me in your dresser.”

“I got annoyed because I said why don’t you just use the dresser in the guest room, and you took it personally like I didn’t want our stuff co-mingling!”

“Well, that’s how it felt!”

“And then, you walked out on me before I could even ask you to move in here, I was preparing for it! I had started looking at new furniture and everything! But you got so distant-“

“Because I felt like I couldn’t even breathe without you having some smart remark. I get it, being a professor is super stressful, but you were always taking it out on me. I felt like a scared little kid half the time, Harry.” Your voice cracks as tears start to fall.

“I thought things were going to get better after went away that weekend, but they just worse…”

“Yeah, they did. We’re not compatible.”

“Please, don’t say that, it kills me.” He takes a deep breath. “I was mad at you for ending it, that’s why I didn’t jump to my feet to fight for it. I figured if you were willing to give up so easily then so would I.”

“But it wasn’t easy! My heart was broken, and it broke more when you just sat there and said okay.” You sigh. “I just couldn’t keep pretending that everything happening was okay, Harry. It was exhausting.”

“I know.”

“So what makes you think starting over would make any difference? Things are balanced right now.”

“No, they’re not.” He raises your chin so you’ll at him. “Do you know how hard it is to have the love of your life, the woman carrying your child, down the hall from you and all you want to do is crawl into bed with her and love on her, and you can’t? I feel like I’m dying slowly from the inside out.” He lets go of you and smirks. “And you wanna know what else is bullshit about this whole thing?”

“What?” You were stunned at what he had just said.

“You said I wasn’t helpin’ your situation by walkin’ around shirtless and sweaty or whatever the fuck else, but you don’t exactly do things that make it easy for me either.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s like you’re doin’ it on purpose.”

“Doing what?! Whenever I’m home I’m in leggings and a tank top.”

“With your tits fully on display.” He gestures to them.

“It hurts too much to wear a bra!” You pout. “I’m sorry…” You cross your arms over them. “I truthfully didn’t think you were even looking.”

“How could I not? You have to know how beautiful I think you are, I try to tell you all the time.”

“I thought you were just trying to comfort me…”

“It’s so much more than that.” You look down and then to the clock.

“We should go to bed, it’s getting late.”

“You always do this! You never wanna finish the conversation.”

“What’s there to finish?! We keep going round in circles. What we’re doing is working, let’s just leave it.” You stick the pickles back in the fridge and go upstairs.

Since you had moved in, you slept better than ever, but lately you tossed and turned. It wasn’t due to discomfort with the baby, you just couldn’t shut your brain off. Between all of the things Harry said to you that night and your work being absolutely stressful, you physically couldn’t sleep. On Friday you have a meeting with your supervisor to discuss the summer.

“You look great, been meaning to tell you that.” She says as you come into her office.

“Thanks Margaret.” You smile. “So I know I’m not due until the end of August, so I’ll be missing the fall semester…”

“We’ll miss you a lot. We’re starting to look into grad students for you though.”

“That’s great! And I’d be happy to train any one of them…just…maybe virtually?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m exhausted, and we really only do a lot of email and phone calls over the summer. Harry has a nice office set up at home, and he said I could use it this summer if I wanted. I was sort of wondering if I could work from home once the school year ends…I know it’s a lot to ask, and I could still come in some days, but all the walking around I do is just killing me by the time I get home, and my doctor said my blood pressure is high-“

“Is that from work, or the fact that you’re playing house with your ex?” She smirks. “I remember what it was like to be pregnant, especially during the summer. You’ll be much more comfortable at home, you’ve got that indoor pool right?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m sure we could work it out, but there’s some paperwork you’ll need to fill out with HR.” You hum your response. “Is it also that Harry has the summer off and you want to be home with him?”

“I mean…it would be nice…but it’s not the sole reason.”

“Alright.” She sighs. “Hey, just between us, are you considering at all to get back together with him? I’ve seen him around here, you two seem chummy again.”

“We’re on good terms, yeah, but the rest is complicated. Every wound I have still feel fresh, you know?”

“True, but are you going to keep holding onto how he made you feel then, or can you let yourself feel what you’re feeling now?”

“Which is what?”

“I think you want to be with him. You perk up the second you seem him walk through the door, and you’re always giggling when you leave together. Sometimes people break up, and it just doesn’t work out and then don’t get back together. Sometimes someone winds up pregnant. But…with you two, I think that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t have agreed to live with him or let him be so involved.”

“How could I deprive him of his child? And he said he wanted to be around for everything-“

“A lot of guys say that and don’t mean it. You still trusted his word, Y/N. I’m not saying you need to marry the guy or dive back into a full on relationship, but throw him a bone.”

You were quiet on the car ride home, nothing out of the normal. You keep looking at him and he finally sighs and speaks up.

“Do I have somethin’ on my face?”

“No.”

“Okay, then why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“I wanna go out tonight.”

“You do?”

“Mhm. I wanna put a pretty dress on and go out.”

“Alright, where do yeh wanna go, love?” He parks the car in the driveway and looks at you.

“I miss dancing, Harry.”

“Okay.” He knew your feet wouldn’t allow for it, and by the time you got somewhere you’d be too tired to stay long enough for any fun to start. You both get out of the car and go inside. “Why don’t you go up and take your time gettin’ ready…I have an idea I think you’ll like.” He smiles.

“Okay.” You smile back and go upstairs.

After at least two mental breakdowns, you get your hair and makeup the way you like, and throw a flattering dress on. It was flowy and came down to your mid-thigh. It covered your chest as well. When you come downstairs, you see that the lights are dim, there are candles lit, and music playing. Harry was pouring some seltzer water into a glass for you, and just adding a lime.

“Thought I’d bring the bar to us, how does that sound?” He hands you the glass and you take a sip.

“You’re brilliant, Dr. Styles.” You joke. “What are you drinking?”

“Just a beer for now. I don’t wanna get too wasted since I’m the one drivin’.” He winks at you. “Are you hungry? I popped some of those fried pickles into the oven…”

“You’re spoiling me.” You giggle. “Thank you. Oh! I spoke with Margaret today and we’re gonna go down to HR next week to talk about working from home this summer. She seems to think it could work out well.”

“That’s a huge relief. I like the idea of havin’ yeh home with me this summer.”

You both get silly to a few songs, and then eventually he slows dances with you. Your bump was in the way, but you were able to make it work. Harry was such a good dancer. You always felt safe in his arms. You loved hearing him hum along to whatever song was playing too, it was so calming. You look up at him and yawn by accident.

“Okay, I think it’s time you went to bed.” He chuckles and cuts the music.

“But I’m having so much fun.”

“I know, but you’re tired, honey.” He kisses your forehead and lets you go. “Come on, up the stairs we go.”

After you had gotten into bed, you thought to maybe go crawl into his, just to have a cuddle, but you told yourself that would be a bad idea. It would definitely lead to something else.

“Harry! Harry!”

He bursts through your bedroom door the next morning in a panic.

“Where the hell is she?”

“Harry!”

“Shit.” He goes into your bathroom and finds you sitting, unable to get up. “What happened?!” He steps inside and helps you up. “Are you okay?” He pulls you close to him, neither of you caring how naked you are.

“I…I was trying to shave my legs, but there’s no bench in here for me to prop my foot up on, and I lost my balance. I only fell on my bum, I think the baby’s fine.”

“We should go to the doctor anyways, just to make sure. And then we’ll go to the store and buy a shower bench, or you could just come use my shower, whatever you wanna do.” He reaches to turn the water off and grabs your towel. “You know, you could just let yourself get hairy.”

“But it’s so uncomfortable…”

“What about wax?” You both step into your room. “Or that nair stuff?”

“Wax hurts and nair burns.” You sigh. “My legs are one thing, but I don’t want that stuff near my…area.”

“I could help you shave you know, s’not like I haven’t seen yeh naked before.”

“Again, legs are one thing…” You pat his shoulder. “Let me get dressed, could you call the doctor?”

“Mhm.”

The doctor said you were perfectly fine, but to definitely be more careful. You and Harry stop at the store to buy a shower bench and he gets it set up for you once you’re home.

“Test it out.” He says as you both stand in the shower.

“Okay.”

You put on of your feet up on it and bend a bit and pretend to run your razer over your leg.

“Yup, that should work just fine, thanks.”

“What about elsewhere?”

“I think no matter what I do I’m gonna have a tough time with that.” You sigh. “I’ll live, it’s just uncomfortable. It gets itchy once it grows in, you know?”

“Again, my services have been offered.” He winks at you.

“You’d do anything to get your face close to me there, wouldn’t you?” You nudge him playfully.

“Yep that’s it, you’ve found out my entire scheme to eat you out.” He rolls his eyes. “Come on, you’ve barely drank any water today, let’s get your water bottle filled up.”

You tossed and turned again that night. You needed Harry. So, you get up and shuffle down the hall to his room, door open a crack like he had kept it in case you called for him.

“Harry?” You say, leaning against the door frame.

“Hm?” He shoots up. “What is it? Do you need a pickle?”

“No.” You giggle. You loved him when he was sleepy like this. “M’sorry it’s so late, I just can’t sleep.”

“Do you wanna come in with me?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay.”

You slip into his comfy bed, and lay on your back.

“I miss being able to sleep on my stomach.” You sigh.

“You’d always be so cute in the morning.” He says, turning to face you. “Your arms would be tucked under the pillow and you could just see your face. Your hair was always coverin’ yeh up.” He moves some hair out of your face and tucks it behind your ear. “So sweet.” He says, his eyes starting to droop again.

“It was really nice what you did for me earlier tonight.”

“Mm.”

“It was like…a new first date or something.” His eyes snap open and he sits up again.

“Wanna run that by me again?”

“It felt like a date, didn’t it?”

“I suppose it did…”

“I missed dancing with you like that.”

“Don’t do this to me.” He groans.

“What? What am I doing?” You sit up as well.

“You keep messing with me head, Y/N. One minute we’re getting along and we’re friends, and the next…I don’t I think you want me in the way I want you, and-“

“I can’t stop thinking about what you said, about how hard it was to not love on the love of your life. I’m really the love of your life?”

“You have been for over three years.”

“We only dated for a year, though.”

“I know, but I fell for you so much sooner than that. I’d flirt with you any chance I got just to see if I could get your cheeks to flush.” He runs his thumb along your cheek bone.

“And it always worked, you left me flustered pretty often.”

“And what about now, are you flustered now?”

“Very.”

“What did you come in here for, exactly?”

“I told you, I couldn’t sleep.”

“And getting into bed with me could help that?”

“Well…I miss cuddles…” You say just above a whisper. “And you’re a good cuddler.”

“What else do you miss?” His face was dangerously close to yours. It had been a month since your little romp with him, and you’d be lying if you hadn’t wanted it again almost every day since then.

“Harry…I miss a lot of things, but-“

“Can we just, ugh, forget about everything for a little while and make each other feel good?”

“But last time we did that…things almost got complicated, and-“

“We’re two adults who both have needs, and your needs are a little stronger than mine. What’s the big deal if we indulge?”

“I don’t wanna keep messing with your head, like you said I was.” You frown.

“Do you really not want me? I feel like you wouldn’t be living here if there wasn’t a sliver of you that didn’t want me.”

“I do.” You sigh and lean into his touch, his soft palm on your cheek. “It’s just so hard to forget what happened.”

“I know, and I don’t expect you to. It would be stupid if we both tried to forget or pretend like we didn’t tare each other apart, but we’re bringing a baby into this world now, and I feel like ever since you told me about it I’ve put so many things into perspective. I didn’t treat you right, and I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life makin’ up for it if I have to.”

“You will?”

“I will. I love you, Y/N.”

“I…I love you too, Harry.”

The way he kisses you is so much different than last time. There was an urgency, a pure need. It wasn’t just lust, it was so much more than that. You could taste the tears that had been running down his cheeks. You believed, you finally believed him. He regretted it, every small thing that drove you farther and farther away. He would never let that happen again, baby or no baby.

His tongue licks into your mouth, and you moan into it. Your hands move up to his hair and you tug on it. He draws back and kisses each one of your cheeks, your nose, your forehead and your lips.

“M’not gonna fuck this up again.”

“Neither am I.”

You smile at each other and continue kissing. You both shift so Harry can get on top of you. His lips move to nip at your jaw and then to just under your ear lobe.

“Is this comfortable?” He says into your ear, as his hand snacks down your body, getting between your legs.

“Yes.”

You gasp when you feel his fingers run up and down your slit, collecting the wetness and bringing up to your clit to rub circles into. He starts to shift so he can get his head between your legs.

“No don’t!”

“Why not?” He frowns.

“I don’t want you looking up at me, you’ll only see my stomach, and-“

“I can’t even begin to describe how attractive you are to me, it’s insane. Please, let me get my mouth on you.” You bite your bottom and nod yes.

He kisses down your stomach and gets his lips around your clit, and slips his fingers inside you. Your hips buck up, but he holds you steady. He was going slow, but precise.

“Oh my god, Harry.” You groan. “Feels amazing.”

He moans against you in response. You cry out when you feel his teeth nibble on you and his fingers curl up. He was brushing that spongey spot over and over.

“Harry, shit, oh my god, I’m gonna, fuck, fuck, fuck!” You release around his fingers and he retracts them so he can lap everything up.

“Would you do somethin’ for me?”

“Anything.”

“It’s been torture watchin’ yeh go to town on those giant pickles…would you mind…” He gestures down to himself.

“Oh! Sure, yeah.”

“What would be most comfortable for you?”

“Maybe if you sit on the edge of the bed, I can just put a pillow on the floor for my knees.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Harry sits on the edge of the bed, completely naked, and you get on the floor in front of him, kneeling on a few pillows. You plant your palms on his thighs as you wrap your lips around his tip. He watches you with parted lips, and you look up at him. He runs a soothing hand through your hair, and you sink down further on him.

“Teeth, love, watch your teeth.” He grunts. You pop off him and look up with embarrassment.

“M’sorry, it’s just been so long…”

“It’s okay, just take your time.” He smiles encouragingly. “I really like when you lick up and down…”

You hum your response and do as he says. You lick up and down his shaft, and his hand tugs at your roots. Your confidence comes back to you, and you suckle on his tip, flicking your tongue along his slit.

“Fucking, Christ.” His head rolls back. You hollow your cheeks and bob up and down on him. You swallow around him, and that nearly sends him over the edge. “Okay, okay.” You look up at him and he pulls you off. “I wanna fuck you now, can I do that?”

“Yes.”

He helps you to your feet, and gets you back on the bed. He puts a pillow under your lower back to help get you comfortable. He really wanted to be on top this time. He puts your legs over his shoulders and he slowly slides into you. You let out a throaty moan when he bottoms out.

“Jesus.” You breathe.

“Yeh like that?”

“Mm, so deep. You can move now.”

He rocks in and out of you slowly at first, not wanting to hurt you or do anything to jostle the baby. He had been looking up safe positions for having sex while pregnant, just in case he got the chance with you again.

“You look so beautiful, Y/N, it’s drivin’ me crazy.”

“It, ngh, is?”

“You have no idea.” He drops your legs and leans down to kiss you. He nips at your bottom lip and you groan against him.

“H, Harry, shit, I think I need to get on top.”

“Okay, baby.”

He pulls out and sits up against the head board. You move to straddle him and sink down on his hard cock.

“God, you feel so good.” He sucks on your neck while you start to move on him. His hand grip your hips to help you.

Eventually you hide your head on his neck to signal that he should just take over the movements completely. He thrusts up into you while he rocks you back and forth. You were both sweaty and panting, and you could feel yourself getting closer. He was close too.

“Harry, fuck, Harry, I’m gonna come.”

“Me too, shit.”

You bite down on his collar but he moves your face with one of his hands.

“No, please, let me hear you, let it all out.”

He gives you another hard thrust and it has you moaning out loudly, your nails dragging down his stomach, just the way his likes. He fills you up, probably making a mess, but neither of you seem to care. He cups your cheeks to kiss you, both of your lips swollen, but it’s what you both need.

“And this time, you’re not runnin’ off to your room.”

“Don’t want it to be my room anymore.”

“What?” His face falls.

“I think that should be the baby’s nursery…”

“Oh!” He smiles. “Yeah…we could do tha’.” He smooths some hair away from your face. “Does that mean you want this to be our room?”

“Yeah, I do…would that be alright?”

“It’s better than alright, it’s all I could hope for.”

Since you were working from home, you had plenty of time to help Harry with the nursery, and you both really enjoyed it. You decide to paint the room light grey, with a nice light yellow accent wall. You were going for a neutral vibe. Gemma and Anne come over to help set the crib up one afternoon while you make everyone some lemonade.

“So…you two are really back together?” Anne asks you while Harry and Gemma argue over the many pieces upstairs.

“Mhm.” You smile. “I suppose it was bound to happen either way.”

“And you’re happy?”

“Very, he’s changed a lot, and so have I.”

“That’s good. I can’t believe I’m havin’ a grandson. Have you two decided on a name?”

“We have a few we’ve been mulling over, but we decided we’ll make the final decision once we actually see his face.” She hums her response and sips from her glass of lemonade.

“How’s your mum been with all this?”

“Are you kidding?” You scoff. “She was over the moon that Harry took me back.” You roll your eyes. “Whatever, you know?”

“Mm, it amazes me that such a wonderful young girl could come from such a…witch.” You nearly spit out your lemonade from laughter. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” You smile.

Harry and Gemma come down once everything is all set.

“Oh, yum!” She says once she sees the lemonade. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“It’s the least I could do.” You hand them both a glass. “All set up there?”

“Mhm, and the changing table is good to go too.” You kiss his cheek, and he puts his arm around your shoulders.

It was the end of August, and way too fucking hot out. You were grateful for the indoor pool. You found yourself going there often with Harry. He thought the maternity bathing suits you found were awfully cute. He was on you more and more about drinking water. He was scared to death that you’d get dehydrated.

Your apartment was already full of the many gifts from your couple of baby showers. Most of it was organized, and you had an overnight bag ready to go. You were due any day now. Nora came to join you at the pool while Harry did some prep work for his fall classes.

“You look so good, Y/N, I mean it.”

“Thanks.” You beam. “I feel pretty good, but also ready to pop. I want him out of me already.”

“Soon.” She puts your belly. “Is it weird that I’m excited?” She giggles.

“Not at all! You’re my best friend, I want you to be excited. This kid is gonna be a part of your life now too.”

“I’ll babysit anytime I can. You know how much I love babies.”

She helps you walk back to the apartment when you both had enough of the crowd that had formed. They stop short when they hear Harry yelling on the phone.

“I can’t teach two extra sections of that course! I’m already at my load, and I said I couldn’t do any more than that this semester! My girlfriend is about to have a baby…” He groans with frustration. “Can’t we just hire a TL?” They hear him suck his teeth. “I can do one section, not two.” He sighs when he hangs up the phone. “Hi.” He grumbles at the two of you.

“What’s happening, Harry?”

“Oh, they’re just givin’ me somethin’ they could easily have the junior faculty do.” He rolls his eyes and grabs a beer out of the fridge. “We need to refill your water bottle now.”

You nod and fill it up with fresh water. Harry offers Nora a beet, but she declines since she’ll be leaving soon.

“I feel like I’m never gonna be home now. Maybe I can convince them to let it be an online section or somethin’.”

“That’s a great idea!” You say. “I bet they’d go for that.”

“The new department chair is just power hungry, she could easily teach the class.” He huffs.

“Well it seems like you were able to bargain a bit.” Nora says. “I gotta go.” She looks at her watch.

She hugs you and gives your belly another rub and out the door she goes. Harry wraps his arms around you and pouts.

“Any day now, huh?”

“Mhm.”

“How are you feelin’?”

“Terrified, but excited.”

“Me too.” He chuckles and kisses your forehead.

You fall asleep pretty quickly that night. All of the swimming really tired you out. You were thankful for the central air, otherwise it would be impossible to sleep through the heat. You woke up feeling sort of uncomfortable, almost like you had wet yourself. You absentmindedly reach between your legs and gasp.

“Harry.” You nudge him. “Harry!”

“Hm?” He rolls over and looks up at you. “You okay, lovie?”

“Yeah, I think my water broke.”

“Oh my god!” He shoots up and kisses you.

“It’s time.”

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