#d say id want to study her but. uh. maybe a little insensitive given the farm lmao

[autistic-sidestep]

From the sidestep asks: 21, 27 and 34 for sura?

under a cut to save everyones dashboards (sura uses he/she/they/it)

21. what is their philosophy? fake it til you make it. if you pretend well enough, you can fool everyone else. (jury's still out if sura will ever be able to convince itself that it's a human/person and not just a really good impersonation of one.)

27. what qualities might someone appreciate about them? what would drive someone away? thoughtfulness. sura's REALLY bad at admitting things or showing affection outright, so he often does it indirectly, making observations or acts of service. like doing things w/o prompting and passing it off like it's not a big deal/just makes the most logical sense (see: mending their crew's clothing when they get damaged on the job/making suggestions about chen's new arm, etc.). they like knowing what makes people tick and having that proven right.

however, they also want that to be a one way thing; they can do the perceiving, but someone perceiving them? illegal. blocked. they also do a lot of lying and evasion to push people away (part of the self-destruction - cut them off so it hurts less for all the parties involved). there's a reason why sura stays away from ortega, cos they're acutely aware of how well ricardo can read them (+ the secret crush. tho it's rather hard to disentangle the resentment with if it's attraction or just nostalgic fondness that won't leave). sura can't retaliate the same way cos of the static, so they feel at a disadvantage.

chen is still a danger, but at least he's not immune to their telepathy. things aren't quite so loaded with him. chen's bullheadedness also means that sura's usual method of arguing and getting contrarian doesn't work on him. they're both very used to the same arguments and the counters from pre-hb, and now... they're both just too tired to keep doing it.

ig sura's also pretty loyal once they've made a strong enough connection too. she protects his team and trusts them to do the same in return.

34. are they nostalgic for their sidestep days or eager to move on?

very complicated. past-self rivalry equals any feelings of nostalgia getting quashed by frustration at his past-self being too naive/trusting. that's what got them into this mess in the first place. sura's sidestep self is always the benchmark ortega keeps comparing them to (like the present self is a ghost, and ortega's only seeing the negative space/absence of the old sura). the suranga that wore the sidestep suit, as far as they're concerned, died. and all of his principles went with him. sidestep almost feels like someone else. and it’s not like their current self will ever measure up to the sidestep that ortega remembers. it doesn't WANT to be that person anymore. in some ways, it Can't!

(this is also why a worst-case scenario would be ortega thinking it's a regene copy. lol, whoops, this just affirms all sura's suspicions that he only wants the wide-eyed idealistic sura before the trauma and the bitterness that followed him around like a puppy.)

they don't want to be in ortega's shadow, or be a sidekick, that's largely why they took up the mob boss role - so that they could prove to themself that they're better than him. and chen too, ig.

Something something some twisted logic that destroying the museum exhibit = finally proving she's better than her past self/getting closure? (spoiler alert it was not lol.) sura liked helping people as sidestep. and on occasion they still do it, just more selectively, re: rescuing the civilians at carter's place w/ chen. (50+ villainy/ruthlessness score aside... i think they might chalk those instances up as flukes, but that's just a lie to convince themself they're not still a bleeding heart.)