#czechia rap

[claireofluxembourg]

Czechia in baby pink outfits and glitter makeup and braids while kinda rapping is a ~vibe~

[perplexingly]

just so you know you are the reason I watched almost 1 hour of a polish musical despite the fact that I don't speak a word of polish because I liked the songs and the actors looked like they were having fun. didn't even have subtitles :(

Anyways to be fair this isn't the first time something like that happened I'm just weird sometimes.

I enjoyed it, btw, in case that didn't come through in all of this. (haven't got a clue about the plot tho)

SFDGFJFK I admire the dedication bless you !! I think I’ll try to translate it, I’m very slow at making subs though so I don’t know how long it will take 🙈

About the plot, it’s a rather fictionalized story of Mieszko I, who became the first king of Poland. But for now a summary:

Mieszko’s father announces that he retires and Mieszko shall now rule over the tribe of Polans, and orders him to conquer. So Mieszko does, he conquers the nearby slavic tribes, each time marrying someone from them. Then Hodon enters the stage and introduces himself: he’s the markgraf of the Saxon Eastern March, a devout Christian, and although he used to be friends with Mieszko, campaigning together, Mieszko „took something close to [Hodon’s] heart” (a piece of land neighboring his) and therefore must die.

The ending of Hodon’s song introduces another conflict: Mieszko, a pagan, falls deeply in love with Dobrawa, the Christian princess of Czechia. Mieszko tries to convince Dobrawa’s father to allow their marriage but to no vial. (That’s why there’s this dance between Dobrawa and Jesus - to show that Jesus is in the way lol).

Then Pope has a song about teaching the pagans with sword and fire and sends Hodon - his bulwark of Christianity - against Mieszko. Then Hodon challenges Mieszko to a rap battle and wins (Mieszko’s lines are objectively better tho 😞)

Later Dobrawa and Mieszko have a romantic picnic but she asks him to convert and it ends up in an argument because he will never. Anyways, the time skips to Mieszko’s christening. (Hodon has a fun scene where he tries to sneak in but Dobrawa doesn’t let him and when Mieszko comes in they have this exchange „Excuse me” „I won’t”)

The Pope is delighted how big the Christian lands have become and how there’s a new bulwark of Christianity. Hodon still wants to fight Mieszko and the Pope doesn’t understand why, now that Mieszko is a Christian. No matter, Hodon’s army goes to attack Mieszko’s (in his song, Mieszko tells Hodon that he’s attacking the bulwark).

In the meantime Mieszko’s father dies, and Mieszko informs us that the final battle will take place in Cedynia. Hodon sends him a letter asking him to settle this with a duel (using sabres) and Mieszko agrees. Dobrawa is worried but he remains unmoved.

The time for the duel comes, and Mieszko asks Hodon to explain himself, now that the earth will be soaked in one of their’s blood, which Hodon does: “You took everything I wanted” “All of this is because of a piece of land?” “Not that, you Pope’s shameless pet. Don’t be daft, it’s about the bulwark. It’s that the markgrafs won’t be counted among the saints. It’ll be your fault if all that history remembers is that you defeated me in Cedynia”

Mieszko dies in this musical but it’s completely not accurate lol the battle (which indeed Hodon’s army lost) took place 20 years before either of them died.

Sorry for this wall of text 🙈

Also for these who haven’t seen the context, it’s this:

[glorious-blackout]

Have some ESC-related song recs, because it’s been over a month and I’m still having a lot of fun digging into the back-catalogues of my faves from this year!

Bear in mind that I’ve barely scratched the surface for some of these artists so if anyone has any other recs, please let me know. I’d love to hear them 🥰

Käärijä (Finland) - I’ve honestly liked everything I’ve heard from him (which is surprising as I’m not usually a massive fan of rap) and can highly recommend his entire Fantastista album, but if I have to narrow my choices down to a few absolute faves then I’d recommend the following to begin with:

Mic Mac

Viulunkieli

Paidaton Riehuja 

Välikuolema

Rock Rock (Daun Lou Remix)

Joker Out (Slovenia) - Again, I can highly recommend both of their albums and it’s difficult to narrow down faves, but these are the songs that made me want to listen to more of their work:

Demoni

Novi Val/New Wave (the latter is an English version performed with Elvis Costello which I love just as much as the gorgeous Slovenian version)

Ona 

Umazane Misli

Tokio 

Katrina

Lord of the Lost (Germany) - ie. talented kings who deserved so much better:

Loreley

One Last Song

My Better Me (I’ll be honest, most of my appreciation for this song comes from Chris’s parody where he reworks it into a love song for Matt Bellamy from Muse)

noituLOVEr (Happy Pride Month everyone 🌈)

Cha Cha Cha (technically cheating with this one but their cover was honestly fantastic and apparently they’re hoping to perform it live with Käärijä one day!)

Voyager (Australia) - ie. the reason I desperately need Australia to stay in Eurovision next year:

Colours

Ascension 

Submarine

Dreamer (this one was their entry for Australia Decides in 2022; it won the televote so in another timeline this song would have competed in last year’s ESC)

And have some additional recs by artists whose ESC songs I adored but whose other work I haven’t had a chance to fully explore yet:

Luke Black (Serbia) - Olive Tree (@aeolianblues you might be more familiar with Luke's other work than I am at this point 😅)

Blanca Paloma (Spain) - Plumas De Nácar (this woman’s voice is heavenly and I’ll happily listen to anything she releases)

Vesna (Czechia) - Płakały

[dryadjoy]

Czechia giving kpop gg like down to the song structure with raps and everything

[nat1em0xd]

ABOUT MEE!! :o

I’m a fan of metal and its sub-genres, but I love emo and scene music too, I just don’t really like rap! >.<

I’m a minor female, so don’t bother ;) (I’m a teen)

My favourite colors are NEON green, NEON pink, red and BLACKK!! O.o

I’m from Czechia!! :3 (a very boring country, if you ask me) and 2000s and 2010s are what got me into this account!! Because Tumblr seems like another MySpace, atleast to me! >#<

I never lived thru as a teen in 2010s or 2000s, but I’d do anything to! :DDD

That’s all! I don’t really have much to say, anymore.

HAVE A GREAT DAY OR NIGHT!!!!:3

https://www.instagram.com/davejsm/

HERE IS MY INSTAGRAM!!!:3 I POST MY ART THERE

AND HERE IS MY TIKTOK! I KNOW NONE OF IT IS EMO IT’S JUST MY TUMBLR SINCE PEOPLE CLOSE TO ME WOULD MAKE FUN OF ME FOR BEING EMO

Oh and I have gender dysphoria LOL

[hiwataris-bitch]

My ESC 2024 ranking

Although I'm not as into ESC this year as I was the year before, I still wanted to do the ranking. It's kinda rushed since I have only listened to some of the songs for the first time yesterday, but my top 10 was established long before that so who cares. Anyways, here goes:

1-10 Best songs ever:

1. Finland - I LOVE THEM I LOVE THIS SONG THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME. Finland sending banger again this year. My absolute favourite.

2. Austria - another huge banger, brings me back to early 2000s and I really love the lyrics

3. Poland - okay, look, I KNOW she doesn't sing all that well live. But I really like the song itself so let me have this one. It's gonna be a miracle if we qualify, but still I just like the song.

4. Switzerland - opera and rap in one song? I didn't expect myself to like it as much as I do, but it's just so catchy!

5. United Kingdom - another catchy song for me I can listen to on repeat (maybe slightly less than I can listen to Poland, but still good)

6. San Marino - great rock tune, another song that brings me back to the 2000s, although in a different way than Austria does.

7. Croatia - although they're only 7th on my list, I won't be mad if this wins, because just like San Marino, it is another solid, good rock entry.

8. Netherlands - you can clearly see my taste for crazy performances in this top 10, so it would be an offence if I didn't put the Netherlands here as well. It isn't my favourite, but still a song I like and enjoy very much.

9. Spain - okay, maybe the performance I saw on youtube made me put it higher than I would, I'm not really sure. But I have listened to this song quite a lot since it released.

10. Estonia - to complete my ultimate crazy tunes group for this year, they also closes my top 10. They make a perfect team with Finland, Croatia and the Netherlands. My top 10 would be just top 4 if it wasn't for some other songs that also turned out to be good..

11-20 Songs I like very much:

11. Albania - she was SO CLOSE to making it to my top 10, but I liked the other songs slightly more. Still, 11th place is the lowest I will ever put this song, because for whatever reason it really speaks to me.

12. Iceland - originally it was lower on my list, but after some time I decided it was way too catchy so it had to be moved up. It's really pleasant to listen to.

13. Czechia - I've read comments complaining she can't sing live. Maybe. But just like with Poland, I just like the song and you're not going to change my mind. Nobody listens to live versions after the contest ends anyway, unless they're rewatching the performances.

14. Luxembourg - tbh my places 12-14 kept being rearranged since I like all three of these songs almost equally as much. I am really happy to see Luxembourg return to Eurovision and I think they chose a great song for their return. It's one of the earworms for me.

15. Italy - just like above, places 15-17 kept switching for me. And although I listen to this song a lot, to the point I often skip it now when it comes on my spotify, I cannot in good conscience put it any lower. Even though I listened to it too much I still have to appreciate how good of a song this is.

16. Sweden - I've only listened to it today, but Sweden brings a high production quality this year as well (honestly, what'd you expect from them?). It is a good song, although it doesn't really do anything special for me. Still, It's just pleasant to listen to.

17. Moldova - similar to Sweden, but production value is slightly lower. But I just like fast songs.

18. Lithuania - honestly, I am slightly surprised I put it above Cyprus, because unlike Cyprus, I can barely recall this song. But I like it when I listen to it. Also, good for Lithuania for not singing in English, that is always refreshing to hear.

19. Cyprus - could be switched with Lithuania, but when I actually listen to both these songs one after another, I actually like Cyprus slightly less. They used to be higher on my list, but sadly, their song is a bit too average for me.

20-29 Song I don't care about all that much:

20. Latvia - okay, I lied, I care about this song. I don't usually listen to slower tunes, they have to actually make me feel something, and this one does. I wish I could put it higher, but I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with it.

21. Australia - I mean, it is fine, but too generic. Still, a faster tune will always be slightly higher on my list.

22. Georgia - similar to Australia, except I care about this one even less.

23. Slovenia - another love-hate for me. I appreciate this song and how different it is, I really do. But I can only listen to it once in a while, otherwise I get overwhelmed. Anyway, I like them a bit more because my name's also Veronika (except spelled with W and not V)

24. Denmark - they're... just fine I guess.

25. Germany - an okay song I can listen to and forget immediately. Just like with Denmark, except I forget this one even faster.

26. Belgium - I remember this one, it's just really not my cup of tea. Like, it is a good song, just not really something I listen to.

27. Malta - okay, now this is a bit annoying of a song. I will listen to it if it's on the radio or something, but I wouldn't choose to listen to it on my own free will.

28. Ukraine - look, it isn't a bad song, definitely better than Malta. But it sounds just like many other songs we've heard from Ukraine and honestly, I'm just bored of them.

29. Norway - another not a bad song, but has some parts that annoy me. Would be much higher without them. It's simply too heavy for me at some parts.

30-37 I literally couldn't care less:

30. Azerbaijan - what ever this is, sorry, I barely remember this song, I don't even know why I put it as high as I did, I guess it was less annoying than the others.

31. Portugal - I kinda like the instrumental, but it is a slow song and not a type of a slow song I would ever listen to.

32. Serbia - I don't like ballads.

33. Greece - I'm sorry, it's just too annoying to listen to...

34. Armenia - okay, it's better than Greece in that it's not annoying, but I just don't listen to this kind of music.

35. Ireland - girl, I appreciate your style, but your song is too much for me.

36. France - no. Sorry, just no.

37. Israel - why are you here, y'all know what you did. You know what you're doing.

[kityana]

i am mad that the juries decided who won eurovision when the public was very obviously rooting for a different outcome (me included), but also. if it was only up to the televotes spain would’ve only gotten 5 points, austria would’ve only gotten 16 points, czechia would’ve ended up with only 35 points, and poland would’ve gotten a top ten finish. so it’s not like the public doesn’t have its shortcomings.

the actual problem with the juries is that there are no defined criteria for how they judge an entry, so even thought they’re supposed to reward creativity and artistry the crowd may overlook (and sometimes they do, hence czechia, spain and austria) they also tend to simp hard for bland swedish pop sung in english. this is just not right. they almost always overlook rock, rap, opera, and any folk music from eastern europe.

i don’t think the juries should be abolished. we had a decade without juries, and while the best songs tended to win, a lot of good songs were left by the wayside because they weren’t flashy enough or didn’t have a gimmick.

we should have a way to ensure fairer juries without giving them astronomical power over the actual public’s choice.

[fridka]

Every year I try and avoid any Eurovision spoilers until the event itself, but I have finally listened to all songs and I have OPINIONS

so keep in mind these are all rather fresh opinions, and some of these songs might grow on me or lose their appeal over time.

Anyway my thoughts on each song under the cut‼️

Albania - Duje - Albina & Familja Kelmendi

I want to like this a lot more than I do. It’s sweet that she’s singing with her family(I think??) and the instrumentals are nice, but it’s all just a bit much.

Armenia - Future Lover - Brunette

Wtf are these lyrics. Wtf is this whole song. This is a front runner? I don’t get it

Australia - Promise - Voyager

YEA THIS IS MY SHIT. First verse I thought was kinda meh but then that chorus hit. I cannot see this win just bc of how eurovision is, but I’ll be checking out more of their stuff. Plus the guitarist is 💖💖

Austria - Who the hell is Edgar? - TEYA & Salena

This song got spoiled for me, but i don’t care because I love it. The lyrics, the opera, the dig at Spotify. Queens.

Azerbaijan - Tell me More - TuralTuranX

I can’t lie i kinda love this one. It’s just kinda awkward and the rap is PRETTY BAD but in this really endearing and charming way. They’re just a couple of guys 🥺

Belgium - Because of You - Gustaph

THIS IS MY SHIT. People don’t like this one? Why it’s amazing. The backup singers, the Lady Miss Kier reference, the nostalgia. I’m not gonna dare hope that this can win, but I want it to qualify so bad

Croatia - Mama Šč!

Oh boy. This one I knew I had to look into because I knew it was gonna be either extremely dumb or extremely political, and thankfully it was the latter. I still think the song is a complete mess but I kinda fucking love this.

Cyprus - Break a Broken Heart - Andrew Lambrou

It’s just a nice song. In a weaker year I think I’d like this a lot more, but as it is it sort of fades next to some of the other entries

Czechia - My Sister’s Crown - Vesna

I LOVE THIS ONE I WANT THEM TO WIN. At first I wasn’t sure about the English parts because it reminded me of Toy (which I really didn’t like), but this has grown on me so much. And the performance. The part with the hand signal for help. Fucking CHILLS. Plus the fashion in the music video, so good

Denmark - Breaking my Heart - Reiley

Den er ikke ligefrem min kop te, og han ligner en der er blevet skabt i et laboratorie i et forsøg på at lave den perfekte tiktoker. Men danmark sender altid noget bras så det er vel on brand :B

Estonia - Bridges - Alika

I’m biased against ballads, and this one sure was a ballad.

Finland - Cha Cha Cha - Käärijä

I LOVE THIS ONE AND I WANT HIM TO WIN. As someone who has social anxiety and who uses to party a lot, the lyrics were oddly relatable lmao. Plus the performance. The shirt the d a n c e

France - Évidemment - La Zarra

SO PERFECT. SO FRENCH. SHE IS GORGEOUS AND I WANT HER TO WIN

Georgia - Echo - Iru

??? The lyrics? Was this song written by ai? It’s painfully awkward and uh.. I think I hate this one

Germany - Blood and Glitter - Lord of the Lost

I think Lordi are iconic so I thought I was gonna love this one, but I kinda don’t. It’s.. a bit boring to be honest?

Greece - What they Say - Victor Vernicos

Yeah these lyrics are way too whiny for me

Iceland - Power - Diljá

It’s just alright. I don’t like it as much as many others seem to do. It’s not bad it’s also just not making much of an impression

Ireland - We are One - Wild Youth

(I can say the following because I lived in Ireland for the better part of a decade) Ireland is an amazing country and has such a rich culture and history to draw from, and yet they always just send boring garbage. I’m sorry but this one is trash, and your man looked so uncomfortable in that outfit

Israel - Unicorn - Noa Kirel

I don’t get it. Am I too old for this? I feel like I am. This song is a complete mess to me but people love it??

Italy - Due Vite - Marco Mengoni

It’s another one of those entries that’s just Some Guy. Nice voice and beautiful language, kinda boring tho

Latvia - Aijā - Sudden Light

Could have been good but it needed more power imo. Another adorable guitarist tho 🥺

Lithuania - Stay - Monika Linkyté

I don’t really know what to say about this one. Very eh

Malta - Dance - The Busker

NOW THIS ONE MAKES ME MAD, THEY SHOULD HAVE QUALIFIED 100%. It’s not quite winner material for me but there is no way they didn’t deserve a spot in the finals over some of the other crap

Moldova - Soarele si Luna - Pasha Parfeni

I usually like (or at least am entertained by) what Moldova puts out and this year is is no exception. This is a capital E Eurovision song, super theatrical and I love it.

Netherlands - Burning Daylight - Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper

I like it as a normal song, but not really as a eurovision song, if that makes sense? I also don’t think his vocals could match hers at all

Norway - Queen of Kings - Alessandra

This is such a Norway entry 💖 there are other songs I like more but definitely deserves to place high. That whistle note

Poland - Blanka - Solo

Oh boy okay so I looked into this one and apparently there was another song people wanted to win, but the Polish government didn’t approve of it so they had the competition rigged and gave her the win? And I’m assuming she’s some dumb influencer or something? Anyway this song blows, Jann was robbed

Portugal - Ai Coraçäo - Mimicat

I like this as a performance only. She is kinda a babe, but the song itself is whatever

Romania - D.G.T - Theodor Andrei

This one is AMAZINGLY BAD. “Take off your clothes step on me” he sings with a super out of place anti-war message sharpied on his chest, while disinterested half naked women walk about the stage looking totally checked out. I love it

San Marino - Like an Animal - Piqued Jacks

Oh these lyrics suck ass as well. I got butterflies in my ears. Pure poetry

Serbia - Sami Mi Se Spava - Luke Black

At first this one was a little too silly for me, since I assumed it was just an edgy song about video games, but it’s grown a lot on me after learning what it’s about.

Slovenia - Carpe Diem - Joker out

Yea this one is legit. This isn’t exactly what I want in a eurovision song, but just as a song this is great stuff. That guitar riff in particular.

Spain - Eaea - Blanca Paloma

I think this one is… interesting, and I think it deserves a spot in the finals, but I wouldn’t exactly call it good.

Sweden - Loreen - Tattoo

Oh my god, okay so probably my most controversial opinion here. I don’t care for Loreen. I didn’t care for her in 2012 and I do not care for her now. I’m obviously not gonna try and argue that she’s not an incredibly talented singer, but I just can’t deal with the terrible enunciation or the annoying interpretative dance. And yea it’s gonna be so disappointing if she wins. Sorry

Switzerland - Watergun - Remo Forrer

Borderline disrespectful and incredibly eyeroll worthy, but regretfully it gets a bit catchy in the second half.

Ukraine - Heart of Steel - Tvorchi

It’s not nice to be all “yeah I know you guys are getting invaded and all, but your entry for silly song contest sucks”, so fortunately I don’t have to do that because I genuinely like this. Kinda reminds me of something from an LCS cinematic. I wish the whole thing was in Ukrainian though

UK - I wrote a Song - Mae Muller - I am biased against UK entries, but this one is fun. Not winner material for me, but deserves to at least make the finals

Overall I think this is a pretty solid year, definitely better than the last couple ones. There’s some really fucking good entries, and a lot of the bad ones are bad in an entertaining way.

[raylazuko]

So I listened to every Eurovision 2024 song and here are my rankings and reviews!

1. Slovenia: Veronika-Raiven 10/10

Holy shit, my jaw is on the floor! This is easily my favorite song this year with only Mustii coming close. This girl’s voice is insane. I am obsessed with dark songs and…this climax. It’s actually insane. The background vocals had me climbing up the walls, this is INSANE. I JUST WISH THE SONG WAS LONGER! It’s so good that my only complaint is wanting more of it!

2. Belgium: Before the Party’s Over-Mustii 10/10

Holy shit, this is incredible! I have a strong affinity for dark pop and songs that build in intensity over time. It starts out as a fairly by the numbers ballad but gains a lot of momentum. Mustii has incredible vocals and the atmosphere is insane. The lyrics aren’t anything special but the delivery and mood of the song more than makes up for it. That final chorus with the choir legitimately gives me chills.

3. Norway: Ulveham-Gåte 10/10

Okay, this is incredible. Mixing old Norse folk songs with a hard rock vibe is excellent and the vocals are incredible! This is the perfect blend of beautifully traditional and kickass! This is another band I’ll definitely be checking out after this!

4. Switzerland: The Code-Nemo 10/10

Seeing a nonbinary artist making a song that’s blatantly about queer joy makes me absolutely thrilled, and the blend of rap and opera is insane. Their vocals are absolutely insane and I really hope this wins.

5. San Marino: 11:11-Megara 10/10

This is my first introduction to Megara and wow, I’m obsessed lol. I love hard rock especially female-fronted and I’ll definitely be checking this band out. This is just a really kickass hard rock banger with some electronic elements! There’s not much else to say expect the flamenco breakdown was really cool and actually fits well.

6. Latvia: Hollow-Dons 10/10

Yeah, I love dark stuff with this kind of vibe, it’s right up my alley. (Daylight and Arcade do this sound BADLY) this song does it WELL and I give a lot of credit to Dons for this insane performance. I could see this shrinking on me but for now, it’s hitting the spot! Anthemic shit like this is my cup of tea!

7. Serbia: Ramonda-Teya Dora 10/10

As far as ballads go, this is about as perfect as you can get. Teya’s voice is gorgeous, and the instrumental is perfectly spare leading up to a big crescendo. The final chorus gives me chills with the incredible layered vocals.

8. Czechia: Pedestal-Aiko 9.5/10

We love pop punk girlies! This song is so fun. It’s a great kickass self empowerment anthem about not needing no man! I’m a big fan of this sound and Aiko has a nice voice. The only reason it’s not a 10 is because I find the song a bit short.

9. Luxembourg: Fighter-TALI 9.5/10

Welcome back, Luxembourg! This is pretty much a perfect pop song and totally how you do a pop song lol. It’s catchy without being annoying, has all the production elements in the right place, a mix of languages, and a great performance by TALI. This one won’t get out of my head!

10. Croatia: Rim Tim Tagi Dim-Baby Lasagna 9/10

This song is very fun and peak Eurovision to me. The energy reminds me a lot of Kaarija last year. It’s extremely campy while still sounding pretty awesome and having that hard rock chorus. The anxiety of growing up and moving out is real so even if the lyrics are cheesy I enjoy them quite a bit. It’s just a bit cheesy for me to listen to regularly but it is such a banger.

11. Poland: Grito-iolanda 9/10

I’m not much for ballads but this one has some nice swell to it and a really pleasant melody as well as great vocals! What’s not to love?

12. Finland: No Rules!-Windows95Man 9/10

As goofy as this is, I can’t help but love it. It puts a huge smile on my face and it has a nice positive message. Also the whole Windows95 aesthetic is awesome lol.

13. Ireland: Doomsday Blue-Bambie Thug 9/10

Okay, yeah, thanks for the discovery! This gives me BIG Ashnikko and TeZAtalks vibes and I am here for it. Also more nonbinary representation! Definitely the most unique song of the year! I love the aggro rap and hard rock juxtaposed with the acoustic chorus. Very cool!

14. Estonia: 5MINUST, Puuluup-(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi 8.5/10

This title is way too long lol. I had no idea how to rank this, but yeah, this is fun and just embodies Eurovision for me! It’s such a bop!

15. Albania: TiTAN-Besa 8.5/10

I love everything about this from Besa’s vocals to the anthemic mood, to the handclaps to the synth explosion of the final chorus. My only problem is how the first part of the song is kind of boring and the lyrics are woefully generic.

16. Azerbaijan: Özünle Apar-Fahree, İlkin Dovletov 8/10

This song is really gorgeous. The vocals are beautiful, it has a relaxing ethnic vibe, I love the stings and backing vocals, and this definitely strikes me as a unique entry!

17. Moldova: The Middle-Natalia Barbu 8/10

I’m not really sure why people hate this one. It’s really unique and has a great orchestral vibe to it. Sure, the lyrics are generic, but the vocals are great and I love the combination of the more orchestral vibe and the dance beat. It’s a really nice vibe!

18. Australia: One Mikali (One Blood)-Electric Fields 8/10

I like this one a lot. It has a nice message and a really great crowd pleaser vibe. The vocals are great and it’s an electronic sound with traditional and ethnic elements. I really love the synth riff, that’s some delicious stuff. I just find it a bit cheesy to be one of my top choices.

19. France: Mon Amor-Slimane 8/10

I’m not usually much for ballads, and this isn’t something I’d listen to all that often, but this man has some pipes and his vocals absolutely carry this song.

20. Italy: La Noia-Angelina Mango 8/10

This is a really fun ethnic song with good vocals and a nice instrumental that makes me want to dance. I like these type of songs a lot.

21. Cyrpus: Liar-Silia Kapsis 8/10

This one is strange for me, since it has tropical house elements and is extremely generic which I both hate. This kind of reminds me of Solo from last year, but better. Idk what it is about this girl and the song but it’s so catchy and I have a lot of fun with this despite its shortcomings.

22. Armenia: Jako-Ladanavia 8/10

This is probably the most ethnic sounding song on the list and I find it to be quite repetitive. This seems more like a novelty song than one I’d listen to a lot, but I can’t deny how fun and upbeat it is! This is a very unique entry in the lineup!

23. Greece: ZARI-Marina Satti 8/10

I was not feeling this at first, but it’s really grown on me. It’s incredibly infectious. Yes, it can get annoying after a while, but I listen to a lot of noisy music so I’m sort of immune. I like the ethnic sound and party vibe but I do think it has the potential to shrink on me really fast.

24. Malta: Loop-Sara Bonnici 8/10

This is a really solid and fun pop song with nice vocals, there’s not much else to say about it!

25. Georgia: Firefighter-Nutsa 7.5/10

I really wish I liked this more. Iru was absoltuely robbed last year and I can’t help but feel that this one also has very generic lyrics and messy production. However Nutsa is a good perfomer and I really like the “I see it in the air” chanting and the song has a nice build to the chorus. Considering I listen to a lot of K-pop with similarly messy production, this doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it would for some.

26. Netherlands: Europapa-Joost 7/10

This one has grown on me a lot since I first heard it. It kind gives me similar catchy energy to “Who the Hell is Edgar” from last year and it’s a fun song about Europe with a fun beat that I enjoy.

27. Ukraine: Teresa & Maria-aloyna aloyna, Jerry Heil 7/10

I think this song has a great message and an absolutely gorgeous chorus, however I find the rap to be very out of place and it sounds like an entirely different song to me and really takes me out of the experience.

28. United Kingdom: Dizzy-Olly Alexander 6.5/10

This is one that I can see a lot of people liking, and it isn’t bad! It’s not a nice chill electronic vibe and I wouldn’t turn it off if it came on. I just don’t find it all that interesting, sorry!

29. Austria: We Will Rave-Kaleen 6.5/10

Austria went with 00s eurodance this year and the song is pretty decent. The title is certainly accurate as this would go off hard at a rave. I think it will be a crowd favorite. I don’t find the vocals to be that interesting and the song is incredibly repetitive, however.

30. Poland: The Tower-LUNA 6/10

This one is also really boring for me. It’s a nice synthpop song, but not much else. It’s not dark or exciting enough for me to latch onto. Also LUNA’s vocals remind me of Halsey which is cool I guess.

31. Germany: Always on the Run-ISAAK 6/10

This feels like a very generic Imagine Dragons-type song. ISAAK has a good voice and the song is very anthemic and uplifting, but I don’t like how generic the lyrics and melody are.

32. Denmark: SAND-Saba 6/10

Another woefully generic but well-produced entry. Saba’s vocals are quite good, but yeah, it can’t get much more generic than this.

33. Sweden: Unforgettable:-Marcus & Martinus 5.5/10

I unfortunately find this song very forgettable. It’s just generic evil woman lyrics, the vocals aren’t anything special, and while the beat is fun, there’s just not much to come back to.

34. Spain: ZORRA-Nebulossa 5/10

This song sounds like early 2010s schlock and is just not that well produced and the performer doesn’t do much to elevate it.

35. Lithuania: Luktelk-Silvester Belt 5/10

This one is just pretty generic to me. I could see why people like it or find it fun, but I’m not getting much from this.

36. Iceland: Scared of Heights-Hera Björk 4/10

Man, this is so generic. I don’t even know what to say other than that this sounds like a 2009 song and that’s not a compliment. Yes her voice is good, but you can’t get more generic than this shit.

[chrisis-averted]

Eurovision 2023 Personal Opinions

Albania: not my thing but cute, it’s a whole family!

Armenia: first female rap in ESC history, love it!

Australia: fucking BANGER! I l love this!

Austria: ah, yes, this is going to be stuck in my head for several years

Azerbaijan: alright, I get it’s in Liverpool but these guys look and sound like a Beatles cover band

Belgium: could be a Gay Pride anthem but as a song it’s kind of lacking

Croatia: I hated it at first but it grew on me, I find the concept kind of hilarious

Cyprus: genuinely a good melody and voice, not a fan of the lyrics

Czechia: the opposite, I love the lyrics but I can’t bring myself to like the song, the music video creeps me a little

Denmark: why does Walmart Justin Bieber look like a very good looking lesbian?

Estonia: like the song but I feel like it was written for a different voice

Finland: weird enough to be enjoyable

France: it’s sure french, but it has a nice modern beat, feels like the soundtrack of a femme fatale

Georgia: still can’t decide whether I like this or not

Germany: about FUCKING TIME Germany sent a metal song! Can’t wait to see this live!

Greece: he is BABY but his voice doesn’t fit his face, great song tho

Iceland: kind of falls flat after the last couple of years

Ireland: nice pleasant song, but kind of lacks feeling, I’d listen to this in my car

Israel: most dramatic start of this contest, the music is great up the second chorus then it gets worse

Italy: very disappointed, there were much better and unique songs in the contest and the most generic ballad won; by no means a bad song, it’s just something I’ve heard before

Latvia: nice song, depressing lyrics, it reminds me of Death Stranding for some reason

Lithuania: not bad, I’d sing this

Malta: genuinely funny and enjoyable song, also MOOD

Moldova: glad to see the tradition of having an ethnic flute at eurovision isn’t going to break, a genuine ethnic bop

Netherlands: I can hear the Duncan Lawrence influence, nice song and meaning, the harmony is exceptional

Norway: YOU GO QUEEN

Poland: ...she can’t fucking sing and the whole music video is just shots of her ass and boobs, what is going on?

Portugal: ethnic and fun, I don’t think it will be popular but it should

Romania: I’m...not sure what this song wants to be

San Marino: after the last couple years, they kind of fall flat, especially in song meaning, down there with Poland, and they sound like they sing at birthday parties rather than at international competitions

Serbia: keep it weird, guys, I’m absolutely in love with his weird moans

Slovenia: another car trip song, but this one with a flavor of depressing meaning, wow my generation isn’t ok

Spain: I’m glad they tried something different, but it’s really not my thing

Sweden: I love Loreen, but I don’t understand how this is the favorite, it’s not that great a song

Switzerland: currently my favourite, both in melody and meaning, I don’t understand the bad feedback, are people really that petty?

Ukraine: not really my thing, I get they’re the winners but meh

United Kingdom: is the curse broken?? this is genuinely a good bop!

[residentraccoon]

My Top 13 (so far)

1. Norway - I have a feeling this will comfortably stay as my 1st the whole season, I just love it way too much

2. Slovenia

3. Latvia - I know I said to not give him a Roxen Amnesia staging but having 0 staging isn't a good idea either 💀 though the song has potential and he has a great voice omg Latvia this is your chance to end your NQ streak! Overall I like this more than I thought I would lmfao

4. France

5. Italy - It's so catchy and I love her energy, great job Italy!

6. Ukraine - Love how it sounds a bit upbeat but melancholic at the same time. Alyona is also great with the rap parts

7. Ireland

8. Czechia

9. Finland - This is batshit crazy in all the best ways possible, top 5 with the public in May, bottom 3 with juries vibes))))) I liked the goofy staging and the message, though I feel like I like the ones above a bit more tbh.

10. Malta - Competent girlie bop, great staging, not exactly my cup of tea but I think it's going to do well in May (like, at least qualify lol)

11. Spain - Same thing as Malta, I liked Malta slightly more but this isn't bad either! It's just not my kind of song nor I have strong feelings about it.

12. Luxembourg

13. Albania

[ryttu3k]

Semi-final votes and comments, now in finals order! First, the scores I gave them, with a reminder that these can and absolutely do change between semi and final.

10/12: Australia 8/12: Norway, Portugal, Moldova, Finland, Slovenia, Albania, Austria 7/12: Serbia, Sweden, Czechia, Belgium, Lithuania, Poland, Armenia 6/12: Israel, Cyprus 5/12: Croatia 4/12: Switzerland, Estonia

No numerical score for the auto qualifiers.

And, my initial comments!

Austria: Okay, this one is making me grin and is also pretty catchy. 8/12 just for doing something genuinely different!

Portugal: Oh shit this is fun. Energetic torch song in Portuguese with a red dress I'm pretty sure the singer nicked from Conchita Wurst (complementary). I'm into it! 8/12

Switzerland: Oh no, a Heavy Topic Song™. Listen I respect it but is it really Eurovision? 4/12

Poland: I feel like I'm watching an aerobics video from the 90s. Produced in Spain. Which is odd, since they're Polish. On the other hand, I am jiggling my leg! Maybe it's Second Semi Final Syndrome's lower standards? 7/12

Serbia: Staging is really strong this year! Oh we're straight video game now. Wasn't sure at first but it's definitely growing on me! 7/12

France: I'm giving them nul points based solely on being a Mr Bean enjoyer. Okay no it's not bad. Ballady vibes but could be a banger.

Cyprus: Australia's back-up entry! He came 7th in the selection show last year (Voyager came second). …yeah no dull. Oh well. 6/12

Spain: Yeah I'm gonna have to wait to see the whole thing, but looks interesting. Maybe not my thing, but interesting!

Sweden: Loreen is back, too! I do wonder about this, previous winners returning tends not to play out great unless you're Johnny Logan. …It is a bit panini press, yeah XD Yeah honestly I'm not feeling this, definitely not as much as Euphoria, which I goddamn adored. It's still really solid, it's just lacking something? I suspect it'll win XD;; 7/12

Albania: Oh there's the drama. Not in English, rad costumes! 8/12

Italy: Eh, doesn't really do much for me.

Estonia: Nifty a cure for the fact that I've been awake for nearly two hours and it's only 5:20 AM. *faceplants on the keyboard 4/12

Finland: “When your sleeves say Met Gala but your chest says Vicks VaporRub.” The fan favourite! You go dude bust out of that box. I'm not actually 100% sold on it musically, but the presentation is top notch. Oh hey I really dig that last bit, actually! Rainbows! 8/12

Czechia: Oh these visuals slap. Not 100% sold on the song itself but the presentation is really cool. 7/12

Australia: Yeah here we go! Honestly so glad we're closing the show. Very synthwavey vibes but like, synthwave goes rock. And our old friend, the wind machine! And a keytar! Fuck yeah that's a closer! 10/12

Belgium: God this gets points just for not making me fall asleep. The Ballroom vibe is fun as hell too. 7/12

Armenia: Oh god this is so slow. Armenia, it's 5:13 AM, it's too early for a slow song. There we go, picked up! Yeah, aside from the slow start, this works. 7/12

Moldova: Welcome back, Pasha! I did love Lăutar. Oh shit this is fun as hell, really digging the staging and costuming, it's got some fun folky elements but amped up. 8/12

Ukraine: It's kind of giving 90s boy band, alas.

Norway: Oh this is a strong start! Costuming is dramatic, it's got energy, I dig it! Oof, that high note didn't quite hit, though. 8/12

Germany: ‘Blood and Glitter' is a hell of a title. They look like they're gonna be fun as hell!

Lithuania: Slow start, but some big vocals to save it a bit. I'm sorry I'm so tired. 6/12

Israel: It feels listenable but in the most generic way possible? Like, “Okay, start with interesting visuals, put some soaring vocals in, now do a rap bit, now do a dance, now end with pyros!” Like objectively I'm not sure there's anything wrong with it but it just feels… generic!! 6/12

Slovenia: Points for not English + I kinda want the lead singer's shirt + it's funky + band! With instruments! It's certainly no Maneskin, but yeah, definitely favourite of the night so far! 8/12

Croatia: Myf (Australian commentator) just described them as bonkers so I am eagerly awaiting this. …It is indeed bonkers! Not sure about the weird military-esque vibe but it's also giving somewhat cheerleader? Okay this is basically nigh unlistenable but it does get Bonkers Points™. 5/12

United Kingdom: It's certainly not bad! It's just very… more of the same, I guess?

So starting out with a really fun one, Australia and Finland have not-great places in the very middle of the pack, and we're ending with something very… samey. Well, we'll see how it goes!

[docholligay]

15. Czechia

BOY HAVE THIS SONG AND I BEEN ON A JOURNEY.

When I first heard the version above, despite what I would call some cringe elements, the tight, gorgeous, resonant harmony in the chorus SOLD ME. Top of the list. DO whatever stupid fucking bullshit you want in the rest of the song, my god, I do not care when you’re offering that.

And then I saw the live:

Oy and also gevalt.

SO much easier to pick out the specific issues I have with this song when I’m not drunk on a tight Ukrainian harmony. So, this is very obviously a pro-Ukraine, anti-Russia song. We have two “Russia is bad” songs this year, this one, and Croatia’s. By this ranking, you can tell which side I fall on. The problem with this song is it’s very very soft on the matter, focused on Slavic sisterhood and shit like “no one wants more boys dead” though I DO think they have a real real moment with “we are not your dolls” and JESUS CHRISTY do I wish they would have brought more of that energy and less “But Ukraine is a QUEEN, she’s STRONG and BEAUTIFUL” and also the English isn’t great in parts that I think are meant to have more resonance than they do. The Bulgarian rap, man, I know the rap scene is in its infancy in Eastern Europe broadly, but every year I’m like “eastern europeans please stop rapping at Eurovision challenge” because I’m watching her in the video pretending to be, what, Bulgarian Drake? And it is fallin like a lead weight with me.

They’re in the fight club semi. If they can’t hold the tight harmony that elevates this song away from the vague feeling that one is trying to cash in on Ukraine’s war, I think it will actually be a shock NQ. Why shock? This song DOES NUMBERS in the Eurobubble because we all heard that first song above, and it KILLS. THe whole fucking reason this rises so high for me is despite hearing them singing in the parties LIKE THE SECOND VIDEO, the potential of the song is so high that I WANT more for it. I WANT it to be that tight, really gorgeous song. Can it be? I don’t know. They did perform it well at Israel Calling, but that’s one out four live performances. The others have been this.

Disclaimer

[libraford]

I like the choral parts of Czechia's song, and the rap, but not a fan of their solo singer.

[lageografiademicamino]

How should voting system be changed in Eurovision?

So..... Community is buzzing about the results of the Grand Final and especially the voting system. I find it unlikely EBU wouldn’t change the system in somehow considering how huge is the people’s reaction and they did drop the juries from semifinals last year so... Anyhow here are some options. 

1. JURIES ARE DROPPED FROM EUROVISION ENTIRELY 

France 2023. 

I don’t think this will happen. First of all, there are too many delegations and countries that benefit from the jurers. Second, it wouldn’t change the problem. Last year folks were crying why Juries didn’t stop Ukraine winning with sympathy televotes. People don’t always know the best and we do make decisions based on politics etc soo.. Every year we’re not happy with either side of voting system but I do believe we need both sides to continue in the contest. 

2. JURIES PERCENTAGE WILL BE DROPPED 

Currently jurers hold 50% of the votes in the final (semifinals it’s only televote). In some national finals their percentage is less and people votes have more impact. If this scenario did happen, would it be 30%? 40%? 45%? 

Ukraine 2023. 

3. JURERS WILL BE INCREASED TO ADD DIVERSITY OF THE VOTES 

Currently there are 5 jurers / country. Would adding more people bring diversity of giving the points? Because they often are surprisingly aligned on their big favourites. They should be musical professionals or media professionals experticed in music industry and they’re not allowed to talk about the acts to each other or have any connection to the delegations, artists etc. 

4. BRINGING IN 3RD VOTES (TELESCOPIC)

Georgia 2023. 

Sanremo and Benidorm Fest use Telescopic votes. I think they have 15-25% impact to the final points. This might help to smoothe the biggest differences between audience and the jurers or make the final decision in some cases perhaps. 

5. KEEPING JURERS BUT MAKING JURY SHOW PERFORMANCES PUBLIC 

Currently only the audience that bought the tickets to Jury shows and press sees the actual Jury show. Would it be better to add visibility here by publishing the performances later on Youtube? 

Armenia 2023. 

6. KEEPING JURERS AND CHANGING CRITERIA 

So the current criteria being: 

Vocal capacity of the artist(s)

Performance on stage

Composition and originality of the song

Overall impression of the act

Every year the entries outside of pop genre seem to be receiving less Jury love. Jurers should represent different genres and parts of the industry though to appreciate rock, rap entries for example. I wonder is the singing overly hyped in the criteria and should there be different guidelines for it because you can’t judge pop song singing and rock song singing in the same way. 

7. KEEPING JURERS BUT MAKING THEM VOTE ALL THE ACTS 

Croatia 2023. 

Again to make the jury votes more even and less in favour for the big favourites only, would it help if they’d judge ALL the entries? Having limitations on how many 12 points etc you can give of course. This would also solve the zero points dilemma. 

8. KEEPING JURIES BUT CHANGING TELEVOTING TO VOTE 3 ACTS WITH THE SAME PRICE 

In Junior Eurovision public must choose 3 different acts I believe. Not sure how this would work but it would help diving the points instead of people voting for their one and only favourite. In years like these when we have such a strong televote favourites like Finland and Sweden, they tend to suck all the votes and there isn’t much left to anyone else. We saw the televote scores being quite small even for songs that were loved (Austria, Moldova, Czechia etc)

Portugal 2023. 

9. KEEPING THE JURIES BUT CHANGING TELEVOTING FOR FREE

They do this in Melodiefestivalen I think. They’ve built up an app just for voting where voting is free. Again people wouldn’t just vote for the number 1 favourite but several acts and this would also perhaps prevent the unpleasent zero points situations. 

What are your thoughts on the voting system in Eurovision and how would you change it? 

[miyakuli]

My personal ranking for eurovision (top 10)

Winner : either Croatia (bcs beyond all those chaotic musical influences, the music was still GOOD, and well the craziness xD) or Moldavia (the song, the traditional side, the voices, the staging, SO NICE!!!)

2) Portugal (SUPER NICE PERFORMANCE!!!)

3) Norway (the song is totally my type!!!)

4) France (I swear I’m not even a big fan of it but from all songs of the night, I think La Zarra did very good)

5) Finland (the music and performance were amazing except for the singing part when not growling or rapping, that was bad XDD sorry)

6) Spain (very original in its style imo but not enough for the eurovision vibe I think, I fear it won’t be well ranked ;;)

7) Czechia (pretty harmonies!!!)

8) Belgium (funkyyyyyyyyy)

9) Albania (that voice!!!!)

10) Germany (HELL YEAH METAAAAAAAAL)