#cyneburh

[brightmaiden]

Bookish asks: 1, 5, 13, 14, 26

Thank you! 1, 13, and 26 have already been answered here, leaving these last two aligned in perfect, thematic harmony. :)

5. What was your relationship with books like as a child?

I took them for granted, honestly. We didn't have a lot of children's books in my house growing up, but I thought nothing of opening up my dad's old mythology and tall tales books and picking a story that looked interesting until I'd read them all. I was in middle school before I realized that my experience with books was more intense and intimate and absorbing than a lot of my peers'. I'd always been a reader, but I didn't identify as a bookworm until then. And though I think I was a little too willing to embrace others' definitions of what a bookworm was capable of, the books, themselves, were always a positive force in my life.

14. What is your favourite children's book?

When I think of "favorite children's book," I think of the sort of book I'd want to give a newborn child. Not for the moment they've joined us in the world, but for a moment later in their life when that book might blossom in meaning and anchor something ineffable and precious for that child about who they are, were, or will be. And that book, amidst all the children's books I've read, is God Bless the Gargoyles by Dav Pilkey. It's a beautiful book, with vibrant, saturated illustrations reminiscent of stained glass. But it's also a book that speaks to struggle, to loneliness, to finding community and healing and hope. I first encountered it as an adult, and every time I read it, I uncover something new.

[earlyenglishsuggestion]

You: Northumbrian peasant woman, married to a theow, still worships the old gods, of Viking descent

Me: Noble Mercian lady, married to a thegn and member of the Mercian witan, a good and pious Christian, can trace my ancestry back to Woden

[asktheblythes]

Cyneburh would become extremely jealous if Logan added anyone to his team, and probably hate the new member.

The large fire-type snorts a bit, a puff of smoke blowing out of her nostrils. 

((Haha, this is probably very true. She'd both incredibly protective AND possessive of Logan, and an incredibly prideful beast.))

[brightmaiden]

Bookish ask game: 1.) best book and why; 13.) choosing the next book; and 26.) classroom book you fell in love with.

Thank you! These were so much fun to answer!

1. Which book would you consider the best book you've ever read and why?

When I see "best book," I don't think of a favorite book so much as a book that impressed me with the skill of its writing and the deftness of its storytelling. And for me, right now, that's Dorothy Dunnett's King Hereafter. A historical retelling/exploration of Macbeth, the mythical is grounded in the real people and politics of 11th century Europe. Brimful of historical fact and detail, Dunnett unspools her yarn with the expectation that her readers can be trusted to follow where she leads. She drops hints at the beginning of the book that she doesn't follow up on until the end. Her characters have conversations that suggest more than reveal their motivations and true feelings. She's so subtle that the entire book becomes a collaboration between her words, her story, and the reader's own engagement and interpretation of them. I can't read this sort of book all the time, but when I do, it's exhilarating for both the writer and reader in me.

13. How do you chose which book to read next?

There's a kind of organic flow from book to book. I usually have a number of books on my to-read-soon list, and something about the book I've just finished will resonate with one of the books on that list. If you've ever listened to music and known the next note, or even whether it would go up or down the scale, before you heard it, it's kind of like that. Sometimes the next book is a key change on the same theme. Sometimes it's a new tempo at the same soft volume. ...And sometimes I just have to read a book before it's due at the library, so it gets pushed to the top of the list. ;)

26. A book you studied in school and ended up loving?

Dandelion Wine. I read it as a teenager whilst in the depths of a bitter winter, and it so caught me up in the descriptions of summer and heat and childhood that, upon looking up into the blue February sky, I was convinced I could walk outside in shorts and a t-shirt to warm my toes on the sidewalk and listen to the cicadas sing.

[brightmaiden]

It's a little strange to realize I've been posting these favorite reads for ten years now. Somehow, it doesn't feel as if I've been here anywhere near that long. Perhaps tumblr has a bit of Brigadoon in it? At any rate, here are my 2022 favorite reads. In no particular order....

King Hereafter • Network Effect • Mine!: How the Hidden Rules of Ownership Control Our Lives • The Vor Game • River Marked • Special Topics in Being a Human: A Queer and Tender Guide to Things I've Learned the Hard Way about Caring for People, Including Myself • What Feelings Do When No One's Looking • Superman: Red and Blue • Tasting Light • The Words in My Hands

...And a handful of runners up: You Better Be Lightning • How to Build a Human: In Seven Evolutionary Steps • Fine: A Comic About Gender • A Cosmology of Monsters • The Boy Who Lived in the Ceiling

[brightmaiden]

Ask game: 1, 2, 4, 6, 13, 25, 28

These were tricky...so of course, I loved answering them. :D Thank you!

1. name a movie that makes you feel like a kid again

We didn't watch a lot of movies when I was a kid: my dad was in grad school, so we didn't have enough money to own a VCR. On very special occasions, we'd rent a video player from U-Haul and cram a movie or two into the 24 hours before we had to return everything. As a result, there isn't really one movie that makes me feel like a kid. Instead, there's a type of movie that brings back all those movie-watching nights. Any film with the right combination of wonder and whimsy, adventure edged in darkness or danger, and (often cheesy) earnestness makes me feel like a kid---something like The Neverending Story, Willow, The Goonies, Batteries Not Included, or Krull.

2. name something that takes you back to your childhood/your idea of childhood

Limeade (from concentrate) and potato sticks. As a rare, but favorite, after-school and summer snack, just the idea of them pulls me back to sitting at the dining room table doing math homework or running inside for a brief break before dashing out again to conquer trees or imaginary kingdoms.

4. name your favourite flower

Greater periwinkle (Vinca major). I can never find the right photos online, but there is something about the starry shape of those blue-violet flowers against the glossy dark green of the leaves that I just love.

6. name a way you show your love

Creating spaces where people feel safe and seen. I don't think I'm good at doing this online, where it's so hard to tell what truly troubles someone, but in person, even with people I don't know well, I try to pay attention, to listen without judgment even as I'm engaging with the ideas and perspectives they're sharing with me. Forming that space doesn't happen all at once, but I've been told by several people that they share things with me that are usually very difficult for them to share with others. I deeply hope that makes them feel loved.

13. name the most recent time you’ve felt truly happy

My brother popped into town briefly for a wedding a few weeks back, so my whole family got together for dinner. That's always a delight, but we ended up talking about some plans we have to get land and start preparing it to be lived on by either the whole family or groups of friends and their families. As we were growing up, one of my dad's favorite questions to ask at the dinner table was, "If there were an apocalypse and society as you know it were destroyed, what, and who, would you need in order to rebuild?" This conversation at that dinner a few weeks ago felt like the fruition of all those long-ago dinner conversations. We pooled our separate expertises, made plans for the immediate future as well as what we hope to accomplish in several years, answered thoughtful questions...and dreamed of what we want to build. The discussion of ideas always makes me feel as if I'm flying, and spending time with my family always wraps me in warmth and connection and pride at who we've become, but the combination at this dinner---ideas, purpose, confidence, care---that's the most recent time I remember feeling complete happiness and even joy.

25. name a way your friends and followers can make you feel better on bad days

On bad days, I most want a hug or someone to make me dinner or even just a really good cocktail, all of which are difficult for both friends and followers to accomplish, since none of them live nearby. But it also helps to experience something beautiful or tender or true---something that takes me out of the day into something greater---and that's a lot easier to accomplish long-distance. Plus, the act of sharing a moment, a piece of art, a laugh is a little like saying, "I'm here with you. I'm sorry today is bad, but you're not alone in it."

28. name something that makes you feel like yourself

This feels a little self-evident, but any time I'm considering how I connect to the world, I feel like myself. When reading an essay and seeing patterns in its ideas. When taking a uquiz and deciding which song lyric means something to me. When pondering a moral dilemma. When walking in a park and experiencing how I, uniquely, fit under tree branches or which spaces are most inviting. I feel most myself when I meet the world and become vividly aware of my own edges and boundaries and private (limited) perspective.

[brightmaiden]

Bookish asks: 🗺🥺 🤧 💟 📓

Thank you!

🗺 what’s a book series you love that’s inspired by the culture/history of a specific country?

A Bride's Story by Kaoru Mori follows several brides and their families in Central Asia during the late 1800s. It is thoroughly researched and beautifully drawn, with careful detail brought to their clothes, food, homes, and art. The stories unfold slowly, and while there are moments of tension relating to politics or clashes between cultures, the focus is always on these women and their families and ways of life.

🥺 what’s a truly underrated book/series you recommend and wish the whole world would read?

I'm going to cheat a little on this one, since there really isn't a book or series I would recommend to the whole world. I do wish, though, that more people read poetry. Like any genre, it appeals to some readers and not to others, but I think it also has a reputation as something only intellectuals would read...or as an art form that requires tremendous effort to analyze and understand. Some poetry is that way, but a lot of it isn't, and I would love to see more people feeling confident and empowered to give it a try, to find poems and poets that delight them.

🤧 An overrated book/character trope you’re tired of?

Friendly Target, as defined and explained by TVTropes.org. I am so tired of a best friend, family member, beloved mentor, or love interest needing to die for the protagonist to find the motivation to do their thing. There are so many other ways for someone to find their way toward heroism, and having people support you on that journey—because they are not dead—helps tremendously.

💟 A book/character trope you can’t get enough of?

Marriage Before Romance (again relying on TVTropes.org) is a favorite of mine. Technically, the situation doesn't have to be romantic, but I like it when people who are mostly strangers find themselves in a situation where they have to rely on one another, where they slowly unfold each other's outer layers and start to understand who the other person truly is. Romantic contexts tend to be more emotionally intimate, which is what I'm looking for, but I've seen stories with found families accomplish that too.

📓 do you read classic literature? if so, what’s your favorite classic? give your top 3 if you can’t choose just one!

I do read classic lit! As for a favorite...I have a tier of favorites, and since I love them for different reasons, they'll rotate in and out of Top 3 positions depending on what I'm most engaged by at a given moment. Right now...probably Anna Karenina (the compassion with which Tolstoy writes these flawed people), An Old-Fashioned Girl (standing up for who you are and finding how you fit anyway), and Ars Amatoria (the way Ovid has of being sly and naughty one moment and then poignant and truth-speaking the next).

[brightmaiden]

Usually, I have this list more or less complete by the beginning of December, but this year a number of delightful reads slid in at the very last moment. 2021 has proven to be a year of many, many excellent books, actually, and it's been a little tricky choosing my favorites. (May 2022 be so blessed!) In no particular order....

Spirits Abroad • Cordelia's Honor • Unrig: How to Fix Our Broken Democracy • There's a Ghost in This House • Crown Duel • Amber and Clay • What He Did in Solitary: Poems • A Marvellous Light • The Witch King • Winter's Orbit

...And a handful of runners up: Everything You Wanted to Know About Indians But Were Afraid to Ask: Young Readers Edition • The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture • Troubled Waters • Spindlefish and Stars • I Talk Like a River

[brightmaiden]

Fairy tale asks: 6, 8, 12, 15, 17, 20

6. What stayed with you most from the fairy tales you enjoyed as a child? Can be a quote, a detail, a character, a moral, or a whole story arc.

I read a lot more mythology than fairy tales when I was young, and what I remember most vividly is the story of Siegfried from the Nibelungenlied bathing in the dragon's blood. Everywhere the blood touched, he became invulnerable, but as he was bathing, a leaf from a linden tree fell on his back, preventing one spot between his shoulder blades from being protected. Later, a spear pierced him there, killing him. I had so many questions about that: why would you do that? did all dragons have magic, skin-protecting blood? why didn't Siegfried notice that he'd missed a spot? As I grew older, it stayed with me for other reasons. The death of the dragon, using its death to protect yourself, the natural world and fate acting to keep you mortal—it seems fair, somehow, that invulnerability bought with another being's death would turn out to be no real invulnerability at all, and that any efforts to cheat the natural order of death would fail.

8. What poem would a kindhearted mortal have to recite to entice you into revealing yourself to them?

Any poem that struck me as true would probably accomplish the task, but I would feel particularly moved if I heard someone reciting any of Donika Kelly's "Love Poem" variations from her Bestiary collection. They strike me as love poems directed at the self rather than another, and they represent such bravery and determination and compassion in the face of all the ways we can be brutal to ourselves that I would reveal myself to a mortal in hopes of reinforcing that message. ...Though I wouldn't say no to discussing how beautifully Kelly writes.

12. Would you rather live in the cool-glittering depths of the sea, the fragrant-green meadows, or the pine-dark, blackberry-scented woods? Why?

I would prefer the desert, to be honest. It's my favorite landscape, but it's also naturally illusive, hiding places where the land dips into canyons, spreading out so vast that distances lose meaning. It challenges you to learn its ways and rewards you with colors and animals and weather that others rarely experience. (Second choice, though, would be those meadows.)

15. Which painting best describes what your personal fairy tale would look, feel, taste like?

I couldn't find quite what I was looking for, but this comes close. I imagine a woman walking down a dark stair into yet more darkness, an opening to the outside world radiating light far behind her while she stands in a circle of her own lantern light. I think my personal fairy tale would involve a journey for some important purpose that requires venturing into places that seem frightening. There's a sense of trepidation, but also determination and discovery: a cool breeze smelling of rain wafting from the depths, light catching on glints of crystal, the faint sound of birds a reminder of what awaits when this journey is complete.

17. Which magical item would you want to own - A magic mirror, a heart-shaped book, or a golden key?

A key! Where might such a key take you? What might it open? A key seems like the start to an adventure.

20. You leave the safety of your family’s home and go brave the dangers and adventures of the world. What do you seek - Love, Self-Fulfillment, or Glory?

Love, I think. I'm not much for glory, and self-fulfillment doesn't require much travel, just opportunities to learn and help others. But love—the romantic kind—I'm not finding that at home. At least, I haven't so far. ;)

[brightmaiden]

I saw @isfjmel-phleg doing this and couldn’t resist giving it a try myself. Cottagecore is just so compelling...even if my aesthetic is probably closer to whatever Labyrinth is than Cottagecore.

To find your own, google your name + cottagecore + outfit, cottage, or pet.

(I now want to write a story about this person living at this cottage with her cat. She’s supposed to be me, but she feels like a green witch living in a slice-of-life fantasy manga. Her name is Elodie and her cat’s name is Zora. The cottage is The Yellow House.)

[brightmaiden]

Bibliophile asks:

12. How do you keep your place in a book? 

Thank you!

12. How do you keep your place in a book?

Physically? With a bookmark. I have inadvertently collected a great number, and I often try to match the feel of the bookmark with the feel of the book. Existentially? By reading only one book at a time. That way, I can completely immerse myself in the world of the book, pinning it to this time and place in my memory but also connecting its themes and ideas and characters to any philosophies, insights, or patterns preoccupying my mind at that moment.

[brightmaiden]

2020. That's probably enough said right there. With my mind running antivirus programs and attempting firmware updates in the background all year, I didn't have access to my usual processing power for much of anything, even reading. But there were a few books this year that swept me away from the world or allowed me to connect to it in concrete, empowering ways, and those are the books on this year's list of favorite reads. In no particular order....

Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America • Every Other Weekend • True or False: A CIA Analyst's Guide to Spotting Fake News • Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt • More Than Just a Pretty Face • Elatsoe • Freckles • All Systems Red • Midnight Riot • A Heart of Blood and Ashes

...And a handful of runners up: The Bridge • Snow Crash • Poems to See By: A Comic Artist Interprets Great Poetry

[brightmaiden]

Bibliophile asks: 1, 2, 4, 10, 11, 13

1. Tell me about that imaginary bookshop you dream about running.

Long ago, before I worked retail, I used to dream about running a bookstore with a coffee shop on one side and a bar on the other. Having lived that life, the only bookshop I dream about running now is of the magical variety. It would be housed in a tall tower by the sea and filled with cozy nooks and secret niches with windows that look out upon vastly different landscapes. Its books would arrange themselves to best catch the eye of their ideal reader, sometimes falling at a reader’s feet when that reader particularly needs it. And I, as its proprietor, would always know where everything is. (Including the very delicious pastries always on hand.)

2. Do you like reading aloud? Are you good at it?

I do like reading aloud, though I rarely have the opportunity to do so for an audience. And I think I am good at it, though not on the level of audiobook narrators, with their impressive malleability of voice. I’m an expressive reader, but my voice is always just mine.

4. Tell me about that one book that you can’t remember the title of and maybe you just made it up except you remember that one specific thing so clearly.

I don’t have an unsolved book right now, but I do have an unsolved short story! It’s set in England during a drought...and suddenly, in the midst of this drought, dragons start showing up everywhere. Not just big, mythic dragons, but dragons the size of dogs...and mice...and gnats. They get in the cupboards and in people’s eyes and generally make a nuisance of themselves. The hero finds a statue of Saint George with a spigot that, when turned, floods the country with such rain as to wash all the dragons away. I’m sure I’m misremembering some of those details, but I do know this exists. I have lost and found it once before and just haven’t made the time to do so again.

10. Tell me about the sort of cover you cannot resist.

I love a book cover that offers a glimpse into the happenings of the book. A scene or a series of scenes mishmashed together, but something that, later, while I’m reading, I’ll recognize, flip to the cover, and say, “Oh! That’s what this is!” Some book covers these days are incredibly beautiful abstract and typographical masterpieces, but when I look at them, I tend to think I’m in for a lot of prose and very little story. But when covers have a scene, or series of scenes, on them---like the Murderbot Diaries or the updated Horatio Hornblower books or even Harry Potter (especially those gorgeous Thai editions)---I know there’s a tale inside for me to get lost in. I may not like that tale, but it’s waiting to sweep me away.

11. What book do you find yourself recommending the most?

I don’t really have one. I try really hard to tailor my recommendations to what people like to read, so no one book gets all my recommendation love. Which probably says a lot more about the people I know than it does about me: I have a wide-reading, genre-spanning group of family, friends, and acquaintances. :)

13. Pick a book you would adapt for the screen, given unlimited budget and creative freedom.

With the current craze for streaming miniseries, I would love to adapt Paula Volsky’s Illusion. Revolution! Romance! Magic! Serfs and aristocrats! Intrigue and suspense! And given the backdrop of courtly excess, so much gorgeous costuming!

[brightmaiden]

Saw @isfjmel-phleg​ doing this and it looked fun, so.... Favorite colors: Peacock teal. Cranberry red. Almost all shades of blue. Favorite musician: Dan Fogelberg. Which I'm sure comes as absolutely no surprise. Last film I watched: Uncorked. For someone as generally indifferent to wine as I am, I watch a lot of movies about it. Family drama, the Old World romance and mystique of wine cultivation, the triumph or perseverance of an underdog...if only wine itself were as satisfying. Last TV show I watched: Just finished Mr. Robot. Wow, Rami Malek. I did not ask your Elliot to break my heart...but I don't think I'd want it any other way. Wow. Sweet, spicy, or savory: All of the above. I have a sweet tooth but still appreciate and crave savory flavors, and while I tend to handle the Asian variety better than Tex-Mex and the like, spicy food has become my comfort food. Sparkling water, tea, or coffee: Tea. I still love coffee but only rarely drink it anymore, and though I only started drinking tea full time a few years ago, I've grown to love its subtleties and variety. Fruity, toasty oolongs. Smoky lapsang souchong. Changeable, earthy green tea. Black tea blended with rose petals. I could bankrupt myself just buying tea. :)

[brightmaiden]

neverlandskyrider asked: "80's movie asks! I ask ALL OF THEM! Muahahahaha! If you so choose to answer them, of course! But specifically: Drugstore Cowboy, St. Elmo's Fire, Dangerous Liaisons, Rumble Fish, and Young Guns."

Ooooh, of course I want to answer all of them! ::rubs hands together in glee:: But I'll start with those specific ones and tuck the rest behind a cut, so as to spare anyone who would prefer to avoid an entire meme's worth of answers....

drugstore cowboy: which historical figure most spikes your interest?

For a very long time now, it's been Alfred the Great---the way he ruled, and how me made the decisions he did, intrigues me---but I've recently taken an interest in Joanna of Castile (Juana la Loca). The truth of her marriage and her mental health are difficult for historians to determine, and I would very much like to meet her and find out the truth of them for myself.

st. elmo's fire: what's one piece of advice you would give to someone two years younger than yourself?

That would probably depend a lot on what they need to hear, which is different for everyone. The closest I can get to general advice would probably be: keep finding your way. Keep seeking it out, following the road, fighting for where you want to be and who you want to become.

dangerous liaisons: which language would you most like to learn?

Korean! Mostly so I can watch all the K-dramas I want, but also because it's a different sort of language from any I've tried learning in the past.

rumble fish: who do you look to for guidance in times of need?

My family and best friends, whichever of them possesses the most expertise in the area I need guidance.

young guns: what's one style that you love on others but would never try yourself?

Those 50s-era housewife-style dresses. As a young-looking, occasionally naive blonde, if I were to wear dresses like those, no one would ever take me seriously.

And now for the rest of them:

bill and ted's excellent adventure: are you more of an optimist or pessimist?

Indefatigable optimist. I do a good impression of a realist when necessary, but I think my brain would just throw out static if I genuinely attempted pessimism.

back to the future: which decade in the last century would you most have liked to live in?

Probably the 1910s. I wouldn't enjoy the politics...or the war...or the plague, but I have a slight fascination for the time period, regardless. The fashion is definitely part of it, but it's also so different from the rest of the century---a kind of dividing line between what I think of as old-timey life and modern life---that I'd like to know what it feels like to live in that world.

the breakfast club: which high school stereotype do you fit into best?

Geek. Definitely. Even after all these years.

ferris bueller's day off: what's your guilty pleasure?

I don't really do guilty pleasures. One of the benefits of being the aforementioned geek is that I don't apologize for the things I enjoy. Sometimes it's difficult to explain to people why, exactly, I love fanfiction or romance novels or cheesy Hallmark movies, but I don't really care if they understand or appreciate what I do about those things. I love what I love, no guilt, no shame, no irony. (Though sometimes I will laugh at myself for just how much I love those things.)

footloose: who did you last dance with?

My new little niece, Ophelia. She's almost 6 months old and dancing makes her smile...or fall asleep. Win-win.

the goonies: what was the last thing to make you laugh?

A snippet of "The Ballad of Dunny Roll" as shared on an episode of the podcast 99% Invisible, Wipe Out. (If you, too, want to know about the history of toilet paper and the nature of the shortage, I highly recommend giving this episode a listen.)

the outsiders: why is your best friend your best friend?

I have three best friends, and while they are very different people, each one of them makes me better somehow...and allows me to make them better. They value honesty, especially with themselves, just as I do, and are driven, as I am, by a need to keep growing, keep becoming the people they want to be. I can talk about anything with them, and I know the effort I put into maintaining our friendship long-distance will always be met with the same effort on their end. There are other things I love about them, but these are the bedrock of our friendship.

the lost boys: would you rather be immortal or objectively beautiful to everyone?

I'm not sure I'd really, truly enjoy being objectively beautiful, but I'd still prefer that to immortality. To quote Queen, completely out of context, "Who waaants to liiiive foreveeeer?"

labyrinth: what's the relationship with your siblings like?

Wonderful. There is so much love and support and wisdom and laughter among us that I don't know what I would do without it. We each have our own way of being, our own expertise, our own foibles and strengths, and we definitely misstep with each other from time to time, but we are always there for one another.

the karate kid: when did you last have to work really hard to achieve something you're proud of?

I completed a motorcycle safety course last fall, and while I'm fairly indifferent about the actual motorcycle license I'm now approved to get, I'm incredibly proud of how I stuck with it. 12 hours wrangling a machine doesn't sound like that much work, but I have rarely, if ever, encountered a task that played so effectively to my weaknesses. I thought in a situation like that, I'd probably quit...or, at least, find myself so bogged down with embarrassment, frustration, and dread of failure that I wouldn't be able to continue. Instead, I found myself shaking off the negative thoughts, finding my focus, and trying again. And again. And again. I didn't know I had that in me, that I could wield my will in quite that way.

stand by me: why did you last go on a road trip?

Last Thanksgiving my brother, his friend, and I went on an overland camping trip in northern Arizona. We traveled forest and fire roads between Cherry and the South Rim of the Grand Canyon and got to see some really gorgeous scenery.

pretty in pink: what's your signature 'look'?

Bright colors, classic lines with touches of whimsy, form-fitting, no layers, generally casual. Flats. Scarves. Earrings and bracelets, when I bother. Make-up, if I wear it, involves thick lines of non-black eyeliner, colored mascara, and/or bright lipstick.

ghostbusters: where were you when you watched your favourite movie for the first time?

I think I was in the basement of the house I grew up in, watching it with my family on video. I remember thinking it was really weird the first time I watched it---so much so that when I saw it again, I was startled by how charming I found it. (This would be Strictly Ballroom, which is pretty weird at times. Objectively speaking.)

sixteen candles: at which age do you consider a person to be mature?

I generally consider a person to be mature when they're capable of behaving in mature ways. That is, taking responsibility for their actions, owning their mistakes, behaving with consideration for the people around them. So, y'know, some people are never mature. If we're talking about legal definitions of maturity...that's tricky. I think people generally start that journey as they enter into the adult world, but the prefrontal cortex---the part of the brain vital for decision-making---isn't fully developed until around 25. So while 18 and 21 are understandable cut-off ages for "adulthood," brains at those ages are still growing up.

dirty dancing: where were you when you first heard your favourite song?

I have no idea. I grew up with my family listening to every single Dan Fogelberg album we owned, and I didn't even really start paying attention to music until I was in high school. So it is entirely possible that I first heard "Stars" when I was an infant.

better off dead: why did you last laugh so hard it reduced you to tears?

I don't remember! I have a vivid memory of sitting in my mother's living room with my siblings and laughing so hard my eyes welled up, but I don't remember what we were talking about or what was so funny.

heathers: did you apologise the last time you were unreasonably mean?

I'm not sure if "mean" is the right description for this, but I sniped at my brother for something I decided he needed to work on...and realized later that not only was this an unjust accusation, it was also a misrepresentation of what was really bothering me. The next time I saw him, I apologized for thinking ill of him, explained what had really been troubling me, and he cut me off mid-apology with a hug. Positive reinforcement, that. :D

parenthood: is there anyone you're not biologically related to that you consider 'family'?

Hahaha, yes. As you well know, Casie, sister-mine. But I generally consider anyone I love deeply to be family, even if they don't think of themselves that way. "Family" is the gold standard of devotion for me, so I drag everyone I can into that category.

permanent record: where were you the last time you told someone you loved them?

In my bedroom on the phone with you, Casie. I honestly love how commonplace it's become to say those words to the people in my life. We say good-bye, we say I love you. That's just how it is.

e.t.: what's one 'weird' feature that you love about yourself?

What my brother refers to as my "rich inner life." It's become a bit of a joke now, especially since every time I talk about how boring my life is, he'll rejoin with, "But you have such a rich inner life!" but I genuinely love this in myself. I don't live a vivid, exciting outer life, and I think I come across as boring to a lot of people, but my mind is such an interesting place, filled with ideas and possibilities and curiosity and warmth. If I'm weird for living mostly in my head, it's a weirdness I cherish.

oxford blues: why did you last pretend to be something you're not?

I'm an Fi-dom enneagram 4w5: I don't pretend to be something I'm not. Ever. I think the closest I come is lying to unrelenting men about having a boyfriend waiting for me. And maybe, if you squint, role-playing characters for dialogue-writing purposes. I've learned some Slytherin-ish discretion over the years, but beyond that, what you see is what you get.

dead poet's society: the last time you made a decision that everyone around you told you not to make, how did it work out?

Really well. When I first considered becoming a librarian, my family---especially my dad---didn't think I'd enjoy it. I tried to get into what they thought I would enjoy, hated it, ended up as a librarian anyway, and learned that as much as I value others' opinions of who I am and what I can do, my own instincts in those matters are just as important.

[brightmaiden]

One of my sweet spots as a reader is stories that capture emotional intimacy: the ties of family, the creation of family, the ways we become known and find ourselves less lonely, less afraid, stronger and more willing to trust others and ourselves. I spend most of my reading life hoping each new book will be this sort of story, and I do not believe I have ever encountered so many in a given year as I did in 2019. Every single one of this year's favorite reads hits that sweet spot for me, so if it's a sweet spot for you, too, allow me to introduce to you (in no particular order):

Home in the Woods • Angryman • Spin the Dawn • The Flatshare • Sorcery of Thorns • Post Captain • Witch Hat Atelier • Technically, You Started It • The Night Tiger • The Kiss Quotient

...And a handful of runners-up: Komomo Confiserie • Kakuriyo: Bed & Breakfast for Spirits • Herakles, Book 3 • Grandpa's Top Threes • Albert's Quiet Quest