#cybertronians are an invasive species: the soap opera

[brandwhorestarscream]

Masterpost of AUs

As promised, here's the (wip) masterpost of all my AUs. In alphabetical order with a short synopsis, and the tags are all on this post so you can easily search them up :) if there's any I missed, please send them to me so I can get them added! If the last tags aren't alphabetized that means I need to get on my laptop and move them around lmao

Bittersweet Reunion AU

TFA AU wherein the jet twins are Starscream's offspring specifically produced by the autobot government, and their finding out kicks off an entire domino effect storyline

Blitzbee Baby AU

Exactly what it sounds like. TFA Bumblebee gets Blitzwing sparked up and neither of them realize until he enters emergence

Cross Dimensional Shenanigans

- Umbrella tag for anything that involves more than one iteration of transformers interacting with each other

Cross Dimensional Starblitz

- How the CDS started. Focuses solely on TFP Starscream and TFA Blitzwing’s weird friendship

Cryptid Seekers AU

- Everything is the same except seekers are terrifying cryptids. Nuff said

Cybermorphs AU

- An AU in which a group of warframes working off planet accidentally stumble into an ancient, buried xenomorph nests, and come back to Cybertron bearing what becomes the first generation of cybertronian-xenomorph hybrids, aka the Cybermorphs. Features a lot of world building, Cybermorph Queen Megatron, a lot of fun alien biology, and some angsty MegOP among other ships

Cybertronians Are An Invasive Species

- No war AU wherein cybertronians are an invasive pest species that have moved onto earth and cause the most havoc

Cybertronians Are An Invasive Species: The Soap Opera

- Takes place in the invasive species AU, but specifically is about a goofy soap opera created by humans with the bots as the inspiration

De-Extinction AU

TFA, the autobots have finally run out of stored Allspark energy and, seeing as the artificially created population is completely sterile, are now an officially endangered species. Their only chance at salvation lies with the decepticons and their ability to produce "sparklings"... whatever those are 🤭

Hindsight AU

- Aligned continuity. Arcee goes back in time in an attempt to stop the war with the help of Vector Prime, accidentally creates a much worse world. Goes through several crazy timelines, currently on the Self Imposed Exodus.

OS×BB AU

A TFA storyline wherein Omega Supreme wakes much much earlier than canon, becoming truly self-aware and sentient. He and Bumblebee form a connection and Things Happen

Shadows House AU

- Exactly what it sounds like. All of our favorite bots and cons are parasitic fae members of the Shadows Family. Megatronus is plotting to bring it down from the inside. Lots of secrets and spooky stuff

Subnautica AU

- Starscream and Skyfire (and sometimes the other seekers) stranded on the terrifying hell planet, 4546B

Terran Task Force

- An angsty AU that involves GHOST getting their slimy hands on the Emberstone and making legions of their own little terran warriors

The Repopulation Project

- A dystopian future AU wherein the autobots won the war, and in an effort to save their species from extinction, implemented the repopulation project. It warped and twisted over time til the war frames are kept as nothing but livestock to be bought, traded, and harvested. In an attempt to change the horrific conditions of their present society, Optimus gambles by having decepticon high command reborn in the hopes that they'll be able to overturn the huge mess he made

Unicron Reborn AU

- Technically an AU/what-if of the 5th timeline of Hindsight. Unicron is killed and later reborn as a sparkling on Cybertron; Megatron adopts him. Later gives rise to The Spawn

[brandwhorestarscream]

Soap opera Breakdown deserves to be an absolutely badass. So I propose that there is an episode where Wildbreak gets kidnapped for ransom and Breakdown makes the kidnappers regret being born. Both Breakdown and Wildbreak are home before anyone even realize what happened.

Oh my god you're so right. Handsome rugged lumberjack husband is generally a big teddy bear, but if you mess with his family he'll cave in your skull. Anyone dares to snatch up sweet baby Wildbreak and it'll take the coroners months to identify the bodies

Knockout never finds out 🤭

[brandwhorestarscream]

I've got the feeling that Optimus/Orion can understand human speech, considering how curious he is and him being a mech in the pursuit of knowledge.

Also, OP just watching the humans panic when they find out that harems are a thing in Cybertronian culture. He just sit back and relax.

This is his soap opera now and he's enjoying every moment of it.

I love this actually. He settles in for the new episode every week with a bowl of snacks and laughs about the inaccuracies of the characters they're based on. The humans had to make some wild guesses about certain things. They made Skyfire the prince's secret ex-boyfriend who faked his death, only to retuen years later in an attempt to seduce the future king and get power in his kingdom, only to end up added to the harem because Starscream still has unresolved feelings for him. It's laughably inaccurate because of the two Starscream is the clever, scheme-y one and Skyfire is just a big ol bumblepuppy

He's also way too invested in all the individual plots. Knockout is a recovering anorexic doctor that's struggling with relapse and hiding it from his husband, Drift is a gold digger trophy wife secretly plotting to kill her husband whom she originally only married for money but is now slowly falling in love with, and the cryptid Soundfam is a silent, deaf crime family that runs an underground black market for organs supplied to them by, *gasp*, Ratchet!

He probably has a soap opera club, lbr XD he and a bunch of friends (maybe even the stars that inspired the show? 😂) get together weekly to talk about the latest episode. He has to translate everything for them cuz he's the only one that speaks english, and everytime something dramatic happens they all go

[brandwhorestarscream]

soap opera skyfire realizing he's in love with starscream. He realizes that he doesn't want starscream dead anymore and has a crisis over it.

There's a scene in the soap opera where they're laying in bed together, naked. Starscream is peacefully asleep after a night of Passionate Lovemaking a la Soap Opera Style, and Skyfire slowly pulls out a knife from under the pillow. He holds it up over Starscream's heart, ready to do the deed... but he can't. Whispers to himself, "Come on, do it... do it!" but he just can't.

Sneaks out of bed pale and sweaty, a very troubled look in his eyes as he slinks back to the harem's wing of the palace, and that's where the episode ends.

And the audience goes

[brandwhorestarscream]

soap opera Soundwave adopting Predaking after finding him half starved. Predaking becoming the ultimate big brother after finding out that Shockwave left this nice family to and becoming more determined to beat his ass.

Awwww! Soundwave is just collecting ao many kiddos. She can't stand to leave the poor thing alone to starve to death, so brings him home to her tiny apartment to take care of him

Imagine her surprise when she finds out that Shockwave is his dad 🤭 imagine his surprise when he finds out that Soundwave is his dad's first love! Drama!!

[brandwhorestarscream]

Onyx had a one night stand with Soundwave while in a disguise and later found out Soundwave was pregnant. He doesn't want to scare Soundwave and is watching him from afar.

Someone better tell Onyx that stalking is bad, whether or not you're a god XD

Omg it becomes a running gag in the soap opera leading up to the big reveal: there's always the same tall, dark, creepy figure in the background of all of Soundwave's scenes. Whether she's at work, making dinner, walking down the street, dropping her kids off at school, it doesn't matter. He's always there, always watching. The fans are going crazy theorizing about who/what the dark entity is

[brandwhorestarscream]

Soap opera au. The other primes coming to meet the babies. They bare gifts for the whole family. Some more useful than others. Quintus wanted to give the family an eldrtch pet thing but that was vetoed by the others. Solus made everybody customized weapons. Not sure what the others would bring but it's definitely a fun time

Aksjdjska oh no-

Resident chaotic gremlin Vector Primes offers each of the babies One Free Time Travel and Soundwave has to chase him out with a broom

[brandwhorestarscream]

I had the weirdest thought like a spin off of the Soap Opera AU, as they are prone to do, in which Starscream (Star Vos), a beautiful retired starlit in this, has lost her scientific professor husband in a tragic artic boating accident and retired to Holy Cove to use her biology degree and raise her triplets Sunny (Sunstorm), Farrah (Pharma), and Silvia (Slipstream) only to meet charming dock worker Orion who is her charter boat driver and they slowly grow closer as she finds out he is staying working on the docks to help raise his sister Ariel rather than go to college and he is doing it on the weekends to become an archivist and work at the nearby hand wave.

He's great with kids and they fall in love only for her to become pregnant with the twins Roderick "Roddy" (Hot Rod) and Theo (Thunderclash). They are getting ready to marry after several dramatic reveals such as Star inheriting money from her estranged family who really loved her after all and Orion's childhood guardian actually being the leader of a cult that ran under the town and wanted to sacrifice him and Ariel (13) running off to meet her online boyfriend Shawn (Sentinel TFA) in New York only to get her heart broken.

As they are saying "I do" Sven (Skyfire) appears and it turns out he'd survived but had amnesia and saw her on the news and remembered her.

Cue all the drama.

What none of them know is this is not Sven but rather his evil twin brother Johann (Jetfire Netflix Trilogy).

Though amateur sleuths and Sky (Skywarp) and TC (Thundercracker), Star's best friends and, respectively, resident party girl and her shy bookish girlfriend who is writing a mystery series based off the town, find out the truth.

[CONTINUED NEXT EPISODE ON "The Stars Aligned"]

Ohhh. My god.

This is so much. There is- there is so much here

I don't even know where to start. I feel like I just speedran the 5 stages of grief. Is this why people watch soap operas? For the chaotic ups and downs? Holy shit this was an experience

[brandwhorestarscream]

So soap opera Shockwave is getting around huh. What next he date Op for a bit. Did he try and seduce Swindle while he's married to lockdown. Is predking on his way to beat his dad's ass for leaving him and whoever his mother is. The humans saw Shockwave once and was like he getting some.

I've bren giggling about this for the last several minutes why is that so funny to me XD

Shockwave secretly still misses Soundwave and sleeps around to cope confirmed? He dates OP the 4th wall breaking narrator and has a mental breakdown when OP just turns to the camera and goes, "He thinks this'll fill the void in his heart cuz he misses Sandra."

ALSO Predaking hunting down his deadbeat dad Shockwave for leaving him and his mom on his own has me in TEARS. Soap opera Shockwave’s a hoe like my god

Meanwhile irl Shockwave is just living a quiet life in the middle of nowhere, happily bonded to Blurr and hopelessly in love with his husband. He would never cheat on him and would certainly never sleep around so much. He's too socially awkward for that. He doesn't know why the humans decided that he fucks but soap opera Shockwave fucks

Bonus soap opera points if there's a sudden dramatic reveal that one of Milfatron's adult children was actually sired by Shockwave 🤭

[brandwhorestarscream]

Soap opera Soundwave realizing she needs a bigger apartment cause she keeps getting more kids. Milfatron helping her find the perfect place.

Milfatron is there for Soundwave, trying to help council her on being a single mom. She already has her twin sons and now this strange boy she's taken in. Milfatron probably offers to let Soundwave stay with her, but SW doesn't wanna be a bother. Apartment hunting and money are very stressful >.< there's a whole episode of the soap opera of Soundwave desperately trying to figure out what to do, job hunting and budgeting and stuff. She was just barely scraping by feeding herself, her two boys, and the cat. She was already skipping breakfast in favor of providing food for her twins, but now a hungry teenage boy on top of it? She's drowning

Maybe someone sends her a mysterious check in the mail to help out 🤭 but who could it be from? Find out in the next episode! XD

[brandwhorestarscream]

Soap opera Soundwave baby is finally here and it turns out it was babies another set of twins. Predaking is being an absolute sweetheart and helping out the best he can. Onyx is spoiling Soundwave.

Soundwave does have a record of twins 🤔 aight, bet! Two little demigods, life is about to get a lot more hectic for the Soundfam. Are Rumble and Frenzy excited about the new babies?

[brandwhorestarscream]

Onyx sending Soundwave a bunch of gifts while trying to figure out how to approach her. Random animals defending Soundwave and her kids whenever trouble happens.

Aksjdjska Soundwave is a disney princess confirmed?? Critters just start randomly helping her out. Like a stray dog just drops a $50 bill at her feet, a bird squawks at her to get her attention when she's zoning out so keep her from walking into traffic. Someone's talking parrot whistles at her while she's walking past a vet clinic and calls her pretty. Animals just Like Her because of Onyx's influence

Bonus points if their housecat, Ravage, just sloooowly starts bulking up, growing bigger and beefier and scarier, until he's gone from like a 7 pound kitty to a 70 pound panther that literally no one can explain

[brandwhorestarscream]

Soap opera Soundwave goes through a divorce with Shockwave and then upgrades to a God for a partner. She is winning. I can't help but wonder what Shockwave would do if he found out she had a new partner.

Soundwave continues taking Ws 😎 it's what she deserves. She and Shockwave weren't ever married in canon (I don't think??), they just had a messy break up over a big misunderstanding

Shockwave... probably wouldn't do anything? Like at this point in the soap he's heavily involved with Blurr. He might (read: definitely does) still have some unresolved feelings for her but he's not gonna drop everything and run off to try and break her and her new bf up. Part of him is probably happy she's happy even if he can't/won't admit it

[brandwhorestarscream]

Been going through the soap opera cause it's fun and came across Soundwave having a baby with an unknown father and big brain hit so what if the mystery money that soundy got when she was looking for a new place was from the unknown father of her baby.

That is certainly an option 👀 but then we have to wonder! Why doesn't the mysterious father show himself? Why only send an anonymous check in the mail? What is keeping him from coming into the light?

Cue the dramatic soap opera music and a mysterious shadowy figure lurking around, secretly watching Soundwave 🤭 who could it be?!

[brandwhorestarscream]

Soap opera predaking and blurr being rivials is hilarious.

Predking: 10 out of 10 would crash again

Blurr: fuck you

Blurr is rich enough to get away with murder 👀 watch out dragon boy

[brandwhorestarscream]

For the soap opera Ratchet and drift pops up sometimes and unlike the rest of these mechs they have their shit together and constantly flirt with each other Knockout and Starscream refuses to be out flirted and it just becomes a competition of who can flirt more with their mate Megatron won

Omg I can't believe I forgot them 😭 yes absolutely. Dratchet has the medical drama angle, with Ratchet as a handsome silver fox doctor and Drift is written as the trophy wife half his age. Never mind the fact that Drift is actually older 🤭 lil Patchwork is translated into their wheelchair bound daughter (cuz of the whole thing with Patches sneaking into the hospital).

Also? Stupid vain peacocks Knockout and Starscream competing over being the more affectionate partner?? 10/10 I am LIVING for that