#cybele's secret
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goddessofwisdom18 · 1 year ago
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Fan art for Cybele's Secret by Juliet Marillier <3
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a-crack-in-the-universe · 1 year ago
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Thought you ought to know that I saw that Warrior Bards fic you reblogged last night and now I've splurged seven credits on Warrior Bards, Blackthorn and Grim and the sequel to Wildwood Dancing. I could, theoretically, drop most of my remaining credits on the rest of the Juliet Marillier audiobooks as well. Still mad they don't have 'Twixt Firelight and Water yet!
That's great! :D I ended up buying the first Warrior Bards book after seeing/reblogging that fic post and I really enjoyed it! I bought the second book right after I finished the first one and I'm reading it now. :D Also it looks like the books are set in the Sevenwaters-verse which is exciting! :D I think they're definitely worth checking out!
I haven't read Blackthorn and Grim but I might try it again once I'm done with Warrior Bards. I also haven't read Cybele's Secret, because I didn't enjoy Wildwood Dancing.
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checkoutmybookshelf · 2 years ago
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My Introduction to Juliet Marillier
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You can probably see how well loved the paperback edition of Wildwood Dancing is in this picture; that's because I found it as a teenager and it has stayed with me ever since. These companion novels were my first introduction to Juliet Marillier, and quite honestly, even if you aren't a teenager when you find this author, I still highly recommend these books for their wordlbuilding, characters, and magic. Let's talk the Wildwood Series.
Wildwood Dancing is a Translyvanian retelling of the 12 Dancing Princesses but with night people (after Bram Stoker, they would be called vampires, but the book is full-on set before Stoker, so the word vampire is not used) blended with a retelling of the Frog Prince. The absolute seamlessness with which these stories blend together into the Transylvanian setting makes for a completely immersive reading experience. This book is stunningly well-written, the five sisters we follow have clear, discrete personalities, and Grogu is absolutely charming--which honestly I never thought I'd say about a frog.
Cybele's Secret is more of a companion to Wildwood Dancing than a sequel, although there's room to quibble on definitions there. This book follows middle sister Paula out of Transylvania and into Istanbul, where she gets mixed up in international commerce, the cult of Cybele, a rich socialite, and a cute, stoic bodyguard. This book's whole vibe is old-world myths and quests, and it delivers on it.
Both these books are lush, lyrical, and stuck in my head and heart for years. I literally cannot recommend them enough.
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winterfitzamobi · 6 months ago
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I've just finished Cybele's Secret and I just wanted to say that I love Juliet's writing and I was missing it 🥺
I loved these characters and I fell in love with the main couple and it's adventure. I already have a soft spot for pirates and Earth goddess 🐝🌳🏴‍☠️♥️
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malrie · 1 year ago
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kind of miss costi’s jealous frog behavior rn just a little. only because in comparison to stoyan and duarte he’s like 3 apples tall. even as a human ..
stoyan and duarte as paula’s big ass gruff chic charismatic fighter love interests meeting the og book love interest:
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word-wytch · 2 years ago
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Don't Stand So Close To Me — Chapter 12
Eddie x Teacher!Reader
Chapter 12/? 10.7k. Series Masterlist
✏︎ Grades are high, but stakes are higher.
✏︎ Series Summary: Forced to move back home to Hawkins after your fiancé cheats on you, you begin to fall in love again with an audacious 20 year old metalhead, only there’s one problem — he’s still in high school and you’re his English teacher.
While you struggle starting over in a place you never thought you would return, Eddie struggles feeling stuck in a place he can’t manage to leave — until you offer to help him. Of all the lessons learned, the most important are the ones you teach each other.
✏︎ Series CW: forbidden romance, slow burn, true love, smut (18+ mdni), internal conflict, student-teacher relationship, 10 year age gap, mutual pining, sexual tension, emotions, drama, angst, character development, happy ending :)
Chapter warnings: flirting, play fighting, heavy angst, drinking, pregnancy mention, a heaping helping of family tension, mild fantasy blood/gore 
Special thanks to @storiesbyrhi for the beta reading on this one.
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Monday, November 18th 1985
Hawkins felt different this weekend. 
Perhaps it was the ashen sky that hung over the scattered remains of a brilliant fall. The way it bathed the world in a pale, sullen wash. The way it made the rust on the signs outside the gas station seem more corrosive, the streets seem smaller, the storefronts seem older. Perhaps it was because everywhere you looked, you saw him. 
You were used to hearing Eddie in the cars that billowed smoke and blasted music as you pumped your gas. You had grown accustomed to seeing him in the crushed beer cans and cigarette butts that littered the weeds along the sidewalk, in the remnants of a good time. Those things were not unusual. But this weekend you saw him under the harsh fluorescents of the grocery store. On the crinkled label of a 99 cent can of soup. In the faces of small children as you stood in line with a cart that you could never fill alone. You saw him in the windows of subsidized apartments. Heard him in the squeak of wire hangers against the pole at the secondhand store. Felt him as you drove past the huddled rows of trailers.
On Monday after school when you sensed a tall figure in the doorway of your classroom, you half expected to look up and feel those grey skies again. To see those weed littered sidewalks and pothole riddled roads that led nowhere. But instead you saw something much brighter.
Eddie was smirking, rapping his ringed knuckles against the doorframe as he leaned into it. A look in his eyes like he was keeping a secret.
His dirty white Reeboks squeaked against the tile as he padded over to his spot in the wooden chair beside you and dropped his backpack irreverently to the floor. The gust of air that followed was painted with base notes of skin and leather, top notes of cigarette smoke and a bright hint of shampoo. Not a trace of rain.
You gathered the papers in front of you, shuffling them into a pile in the corner as you glanced over at him, unable to suppress the smile breaking out on your face. “What?” 
The smirk twisted deeper on his lips. “I read your story.” 
It was like he said he’d seen you naked. Heat crept up your neck. “All of it?” you asked with a nervous chuckle. 
“Not exactly.” Eddie grabbed the seat between his legs and walked it closer. “I’m at the part where they’re, uh, cooking over the fire outside of Grimhold and Cybelle takes her mask off for the first time. Well, in front of Lazarus anyway.” He shrugged his leather jacket off to drape over the back of the chair. 
It was strange to hear him say those names. Names you hadn’t thought about in years, dusted off from where you shelved them in your mind. It was like he was speaking a dead language, breathing new life into it. 
You swallowed. “Oh, that part. Yeah, that’s an important moment.”  
“I had a hard time putting it down, if that tells you anything.” 
“I take that means you like it then?” 
“Like it?” he said in a breathy chuckle, leaning closer. “I’m blown away.”
Your stomach turned to mush, unable to tear your eyes away from the soft earnestness of his features. “Really?”
Eddie gave a deadpan look. “Look, I’m a huge fantasy geek, but this world you’ve created is…” he shook his head as a soft puff of air left his lips, “unlike anything I’ve ever read.”
There was a weight to his gaze, so heavy that you needed to break it. “Oh wow, um, thank you,” you said, glancing at the paperclips on your desk as heat made a home in your cheeks again. “It’s been ages since I’ve read it myself honestly.” In the same span of time you still never learned how to take a compliment.
“Yeah—no, I mean it. It’s really good.” He tipped his head towards you, searching for your eyes. “I like that it’s, uh, based in a sort of… reality, if that makes sense. Like the whole thing about illness being a problem and how the change in the atmosphere makes Cybelle dizzy. The gold and how it powers machines. Stuff like that. It’s clever.”
You found the courage to meet his gaze again. “Well, thank you. I mean I’m definitely no Tolkien, but…”
 Eddie scoffed. “Honestly? Tolkien takes three pages to describe a door. You never need to and yet the world is crystal clear.”
The ease that washed over you escaped through a chuckle. “You know, I always thought that killed the pacing.”
“It does! God, I mean don’t get me wrong, he is the grandfather of fantasy but Jesus Christ.”
Your laughter mingled, soft and easy, coloring the air in the space between you. It echoed off the tile floor and concrete walls as beams of golden sunlight poured in through the row of windows to your right. The rays made a halo of his hair, catching the frizz that escaped the pattern of his curls. 
Eddie’s eyes sparkled, and you would search for the hurt in them. You knew it was there, hiding somewhere deep in those pools of molten chocolate, but in this moment there was no trace to be found. 
“Hell, maybe I should consult you for my campaigns,” he said scooting his chair impossibly closer. Close enough to feel his aura. To feel the hair on his arm tickle against yours. 
“Jeez, don’t flatter me.” You were surprised at how steady your voice came out.
“No, I’m serious,” he said, his eyes drifting toward your lips. “Okay, don’t tell the boys but I’m actually kind of stuck on this one part coming up.”
You snorted. “Right, because I have such a good rapport with the boys.”
The smile lines deepened around his smirk. “Ok, so… the final boss is coming up and I kind of want there to be a plot twist but I’m not sure how to like, make that work.”
“Alright, well what’s happened in the story so far?”
There was a glimmer of mischief in his eyes before his voice dropped to a theatric narration. 
“There’s a dark, evil force in the village of Hammerfall,” he began with a wave of his hand. “Crops are withering, livestock perishing. The villagers say it’s a curse put on by a spurned old crone who vanished into the forest, never to be seen again.” 
The gooey smile breaking out on your features could not be contained. A new color in the lexicon of hues you knew his voice to be. Rich with iridescent animation, reaching deep enough to turn your heart to putty.
“Six brave adventurers investigate the cause and venture deep into the nearby woods where they encounter harpies,” he emphasized, flourishing his fingers, “dryads, and a forest teeming with dark activity. There’s something deeper going on…” he paused for dramatic effect, “or at least I want there to be,” Eddie chuckled, breaking character as his voice snapped back into its normal cadence. “Originally I was just going to have it be that the old crone is a kind of sorcerer but we already sort of figured that, you know? I feel like that’s too predictable. I want it to be something, I dunno, more interesting?” 
You blinked as you willed your dopey mouth to move. “So she’s, um, going to be the final boss I take it?”
“Yeah, but that’s like, totally predictable right?”
“Hmm.” Resting your elbow on the desk and your finger between your lips, you thought for a moment. “What if she’s like, I dunno, possessed by something else? Like maybe there’s an even darker force at work and it’s just using her as a puppet or something?”
Eddie’s eyes lit up like Christmas. “I like the way you think.” His voice was tinged with a playful darkness.
You tucked your fingers behind your ear in reflex. “I mean I have no idea what it would be, but…”
“No—no that’s a good place to start. I think I actually have an idea of who could do that sort of thing, like in the monster manual. He’s a sort of… necromancer.” 
You nodded. “Oh yeah, that sounds plausible enough. Maybe there’s some sort of clue that gets left behind when she dies or something. Maybe there are like, markings on her body or some sort of strange amulet or… something that would lead to clues about who might be behind this.”
Eddie nodded along, his eyes growing wilder with every word. “Hey uh,” he began, leaning in like he was about to share a secret. “I don’t… know if anybody’s told you lately but…” his soft breath feathered your cheek, “you’re pretty brilliant.” 
It was the way he said it. Soft in tone, heavy with intention. Peering under his lashes like he wanted to kiss you. You swallowed, hard, as your heart pounded into your throat. “No uh,” you choked on your laugh, “not lately.” Breaking his gaze, you fiddled with your green grading pen and pressed your thumb nail into the gummy gripper. 
With startling animation, Eddie grabbed a spare piece of paper from the pile on your desk and snatched the pen out of your hand. 
“Hey!”
“Not like you were using it,” he teased, swiping your attendance clipboard to prop the sheet against. 
Your mouth fell open. “Well… no… but—”
He turned the pen over in his hand and clicked it a few times. “So much power in this little tool.” Putting it to the paper, he etched a green mark that would form the first letter of your first name. “Hmm what grade am I going to give you?” he tapped the pen against his lips.
You raised your eyebrows. “Oh you’re grading me now?”
“Well you definitely have attention to detail down, so A for that.” His hand hurried across the page, flourishing as he marked the A.
You sat back in your chair, thoroughly amused. “How generous of you.”
His eyes crinkled as he scribbled against the paper, clipboard cradled in his left arm to shield it from you. “Let’s see, what’s next… oh I know. Creativity. A plus for that one.”
You rolled your eyes, a weak diversion for how hot your face was getting. “How ‘bout I give you an A plus for being a total cheeseball?”
“Ohh wit — A for that one too.” His tongue darted out, nimble hand dragging your pen across the page. 
It was almost uncomfortable, the grip he had on you. How he could make you feel with a gesture, a word. “Ok enough flattery, give it back,” you said, reaching for the clipboard.
Eddie jerked it away. “Sense of humor, hmm, might have to give you a B for that one.” He shot you a smirk.
You balked. “Oh come on!”
“…B minus.” 
A laugh escaped you. “Eddie!”
His eyes were full of mischief as he scribbled frantically against the paper. “What, never got a B before? First time for everything, sweetheart,” he jested with a firm shake of his head. 
It was hard to be offended when your brain was short circuiting. 
“Maybe we can work on it together,” he offered, biting back a snicker.
Your brain clicked back on with the glare you shot him. “Okay, that’s it.” You lunged for the clipboard, but he was slow on the juke this time. Your fingers made purchase with the masonite slab.
Gripping it like a lifeline, he practically dragged you across his lap as he lurched away. It all happened so quickly. The swift tug he gave, your hand jutting out to brace the first thing in proximity — his denim clad thigh.
There was a pause in the movement. Heat lit up your whole body, radiating from the point of contact. 
His leg was warm and solid under your palm. So too was his shoulder nestled into yours as you reached across his lap, deeper into the bubble of his scent. You didn’t dare look him in the eyes, but in your close peripheral you could see his mouth; gaping just as yours was. 
Recovered from shock, the tension resumed in his tugging, and you responded with equal and opposite force. Your hand remained planted. For balance.
“So serious!” Eddie teased, wild hair bouncing as he jerked.
“I am serious, give it back.” Maybe it was your bright, airy giggles that gave you away, but he didn’t seem convinced.
God he was strong. You could feel the tremble of his arm emanating through the clipboard. Feel the flex of his bicep against yours as you fought his strength. You allowed yourself, for just a moment in the struggle, to glance at the one furthest to you. To follow his white, angular knuckles down to his wrist and see tendons flex against blue veins. To trace the curve of his inked forearm, to the bend of his elbow, to the bulge of his bicep. Your eyes lingered there. At the swell under his velvet skin. It surprised you, how large the muscle was, so much that it caused your grip to slip for just a second. 
It only made him tug harder, but not too hard, you noticed. Gentleman he was, trying to play fair. It was, however, hard enough to draw you further across his lap, further into his scent, close enough to slot your chest into his outstretched bicep and feel it tremble. You fought to regain your hold, hooking your fingers over the top and yanking back with an invigorated fervor. 
“Wai-wai-wait I’m not finished! I haven’t even gotten to ‘plays well with others’,” he wheezed, breaking into a warm, bubbly chuckle right against your ear.
You could barely eke out words. Sweat dampened your hand against the denim as his thigh flexed with every tug. A large, strong muscle that glided and stiffened under his heated skin. “Give it back,” you gritted weakly.
Soft curls tickled your cheek, feathered your lips and nose. You could smell it deeper than ever; that bright shampoo, that warm musk radiating from his neck. 
“What, you gonna give me detention?” he quipped, turning his head to steal a glance from you. 
Your mouth hung open. It was the way he said it, so defiant and cocksure. Daringly taunting for someone whose face was blotched pink. “Yeah, write you up for being a smartass,” you choked out with a pointed tug while your other hand burned a hole in his thigh. 
He gasped dramatically, pausing in the struggle. “You think I’m smart?” His tone was comically serious. It was scary how easy he could feign it on a dime. 
You deadpanned. “I’ve been telling you that this whole time. Maybe you should pay more attention.”
“Oh I’m paying attention.” 
“Oh yeah, to what?” 
It was all you could do not to stare at the ridges of his neck as his Adam’s apple bobbed, pink lips twitching, eyes darting between yours.
“That’s what I thought.” You seized the split second opening in his defense and snatched your dignity back.
His fingers clung desperately to the clipboard. “Ok—ok, I’ll give it back, I promise, just answer one question for me… about your book,” he panted, ghosting your lips with it.
It was those goddamn Bambi eyes that defeated you. Large, almond, pleading. His last, pathetic line of offense. “Fine,” you sighed.
“Is this a love story?” he murmured, close enough to taste his words.
They hung like a cloud. Heavy and potent. Threatening to burst. Hovering in the fractional distance between you.
“I—” you balked, voice trapped in your throat. 
The tugging ceased. Arms went slack. Fingers dampened masonite and paper. Eyes flicked back and forth. Yours caught the dip in his lids as they lowered to your lips, the long, gentle curve of his lashes as he peered at you from under them. 
You could not will your hand to move. It was glued there like his eyes were on you. Clammy fingers twitched against warm denim, itching to snake them further, to pull him closer, to commit each aching second to memory. 
Your eyes dipped next, quick enough to see his nerves make subtle twitches in his smile lines. To catch the parting of his plush, pink mouth that drew you like a magnet. Your heartbeat drowned out any sounds of pinballs. 
You could have done it. Moved your chin two inches. Snatched his pout.
Instead you swallowed and summoned a whisper. “You’ll have to find out for yourself.”
______
Your childhood home had gone rather unchanged since you had moved out of it. A little one-story ranch built in the 50s. Looking at it from the outside, it always amazed you that it could fit three bedrooms within its four walls. Plain and unassuming. White exterior, green shingled roof, a brick flower bed underneath the big bay window in front. Your mother had planted a tidy row of mums in it for fall. There was hardly a stray leaf to be found fluttering across the small, manicured lawn.
Inside you were greeted with the same paneled living room walls, painted powder blue now. The same family portraits from when you were seven, another from when you were ten, and then thirteen. Clean white carpet. Neat and orderly. Your old room had become a craft room soon after college. There was hardly a trace of you left. The Led Zeppelin and Beatles posters were the first to go, replaced with more tasteful decor like cross-stitched landscapes. A singer sewing machine was now perched on the desk you spent countless hours huddled over in study. Nick-knacks took up residence in your bookshelves. The purple walls were painted over with a powder yellow.
Mickey’s room remained largely unchanged. Bigger than yours, though you never had the heart to move over. It served as a guest room now, the full size bed still dressed in the quilt he used, the one your grandma made. Same cobalt blue walls. Your mother still dusted his trophies. 
What was most different was the table that stretched from the small dining room part-way into the living room. It was decorated with candlestick holders that looked like turkeys wearing hokey pilgrim hats. Those were definitely new. You wondered where your mother picked them up.
Both you and your mom would assume your roles — hers as host, and yours as helpful. You would busy yourself with the little things first. Details like folding linen napkins just how she instructed; in cascading triangles. You would sit at the end of the table and press daydreams into them. Quiet fantasies of warm nights and summer winds. Folding in details like the scent of leather and smoke inside the van, the sweet country air gusting through the windows. Details like how you imagined freedom would taste — slick and hot, hungry and lazy with room for seconds.
Once finished, you placed your folded secrets where they belonged — under the dinner forks.
You were making yourself useful with a can of cranberry sauce when your relatives arrived. The kind with whole cranberries. Clamping the gummy handles of the can opener and twisting as the teeth bit into the metal lid. Last year you’d made your own. Simmered sugar and orange juice in a pot over a real flame in your own house, added plump red berries and heated them until they burst. Dan’s mom said it was her favorite thing on the table.
This year you scooped cold, jelly chunks into an plain glass bowl, running the spoon down the ridges like a washboard. You were tapping off the bitter excess when the front door cracked open, ushering the sound of familiar voices colored in casual pleasantries. 
They would find you there eventually — in the kitchen putting rolls into a basket. It was effort, to smile and laugh and act like you were doing great. It was easier to act like you were busy. 
You hadn’t seen them since Connie and Cameron’s wedding. A sweltering day in mid-July. The last place on Earth you wanted to be. You’d spent most of it swallowing your feelings. Washing down saccharine cake with acrid mimosas. Sitting at a vacant table littered with party favors and sweating, half-empty glasses while your relatives slow danced to I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner. 
Your Aunt Helen and Uncle Larry spared no expense for their daughter and her new husband, from the country club venue to the live band. From the four course dinner to the three tiered tower of a cake.
Connie’s dress was beautiful. An ivory silk with princess puff sleeves and a train that stretched down the aisle. Like a limited edition Barbie still inside the box.
You hadn’t said much to her then — a tepid congratulations from behind a tired mask. It was all you could offer besides cash in a Hallmark greeting card. You doubted she noticed. She was busy anyway, as all brides were on their wedding day. It’s not like you were really that close to begin with. Not close in age with her being seven years your junior, not close in interests or hobbies. Not even close in proximity for most of her adult life, until recently. 
What you remembered more than anything was the way your grandma looked at her that day — like she’d hung the moon. She’d looked at you like that before of course — adorned with sashes in the parking lot as you clutched your first diploma. In the shade outside the the stadium as you cradled your second. When you reached across the table to present your ring to her.
You were reaching across the table to place the steaming basket of rolls by the cranberry sauce when you caught that look again — at Connie, the Sears catalog between them blanking the napkins you’d placed so carefully.
“See, I was thinking about this matching set with the dresser and changing table. See how it’s sort of built in like that?” Connie explained, leaning in toward your grandmother at the head of the table. 
Your stomach did a sinking somersault, eyes magnetized to her pastel pink fingernail tapping against the full spread of baby furniture. 
“Oh my, well isn’t that convenient. Yes I do like the natural wood grain of this one, the lighter color,” your grandma added.
You tried to swallow it away. Pretend like you didn’t even notice. Like the cheering coming from the living room was summoning you. You could still hear them as your stocking feet crossed over the divide from the hard wood to the plush carpet.
“I was thinking the same thing. It’ll go nicely with the paper we’ve picked out for the walls. Oh shoot, I meant to bring the sample. Sorry, I’ve been so spacey lately.” Connie’s sticky sweet chuckle clung to your hammering ears.
Suddenly your mother’s Precious Moments collection had never been so fascinating. Looking past your anguished reflection in the glass cabinet, you drank in their big, dopey eyes. Vignettes of little cherub hands clutching flowers, posing as firefighters and dentists. Droopy eyed children sitting on see-saws and garden benches. Frozen in their perfect little worlds.
“Oh that’s quite alright dear,” your grandma’s gentle reassurance echoed from the dining room. “I can come over and see sometime after my knees are healed, plenty of time between now and April.”
You tried to blink away the image — your old craft room on Clementine painted pastel pink or blue, filled with furniture from the pages of Connie’s catalog. It probably was at this point. Your eyes burned a hole in a ceramic cherub head as heat rose in your veins.
The sound of a whistle drew your attention to your uncle and cousins crowded around your family’s meager television. 
“Oh COME ON!” Larry bellowed as the plastic cushions squeaked under his shifting weight. “There’s no way that was a foul, you see that, Kevin?” he gestured to his son, slumped against the couch half asleep. “Total baloney.”
Cameron adjusted his glasses as he shifted forward. “Oh yeah his foot was totally on the line, I bet we can catch it on replay.”
“Where do they find these damn refs anyway? The academy for the blind? HA!” Larry sat back in his seat and cracked another beer, amused with himself.
You raked your eyes over the blurring sea of dolls again, drowning in your thoughts until one of them pulled you to the surface. On the middle shelf behind the one in the lab coat and stethoscope, this one stood in front of a big desk with a stack of books and an apple on it and held a large slab in front of her. You crouched down to read the fine print.
Report Card
Kindness…A
Mercy…A
Love…A
Faithfulness…A
Your stomach twisted into knots. Phantom touches ghosted over your hands and arms, wrapped themselves around your heart and squeezed. You caught your own eyes in the mirror behind the dolls — sad and droopy just like theirs, only painted with shame and longing instead. 
Uncle Larry’s voice boomed through the room again. This time it was coming from the television while the Larry on the couch shushed your cousins like they were even making noise to begin with.
“At Bessler Ford we’ve always got the best deals, and this Thanksgiving we’re practically GIVING these cars away!”
“Hey you guys seen the new one?” Larry called out to the rest of the house. 
The question was met with weak replies from Connie and Grandma looking up from the catalog in the dining room. You wondered if your parents even heard him from the kitchen. With lukewarm enthusiasm, you humored him with your attention, mind swimming with pinball thoughts, eyes glazing over as you stared at the screen. Then, like a sudden apparition, your mother emerged from the kitchen and snatched the remote from the end table.
“ZERO down, ZERO interest, we’re prating BEGGING you—”
Like a Wild West gunslinger quick on the draw, the TV blipped off with a fizzle.
“Aw come on!” Larry protested.
“Dinner’s ready, time to eat,” she stated firmly, her expression unamused.
As your family peeled themselves off the couch and shuffled over to the table, you found your seat on the carpet side of the divide. 
Even with the extra leaf there was no fitting nine at a six person table, so there had been some improvising. The two tables were covered in linens you didn’t recognize. Starchy and stiff, a cream brocade with a fall leaf pattern that shimmered in the light. Your mom must have steamed them to get the creases out from the packaging. Though matching, they couldn’t hide the fact that they were different shapes. 
Your side of the family took their places at the smaller square table, and your cousins found theirs at the rectangle.
Aunt Helen’s green halo of fruit jello jiggled as your dad triumphantly plunked the carved turkey in the center of everything. 
It rested awkwardly on the seam between the two tables, a sloping butterball bridge. 
You watched the juices gather at the lower end of it as everyone around you lowered their heads to utter the words of a half-hearted prayer, the meaning long forgotten with tired repetition. 
Barely a second of silence passed before a manicured hand shot out from your left, reaching to steady the platter so it favored her side. “You know, it really was nice of you to offer to host,” Helen said to your mother across from you, “but perhaps next year we can have the honor. We have plenty of space for it.”
The suggestion was met with a tight lipped smile. “Next year we’ll be back at mom’s,” she quipped at her younger sister.
The tension was thick enough to slice. A heavy backdrop to the clinking of silverware against ceramic as servings were doled out. You busied your hands with the nearest thing to you — a warm bowl of mashed potatoes, dolloping a generous helping onto your plate and pressing a crater into the center with the back of the spoon. You passed the bowl toward your right to your dad at the head of the smaller square table.
It was your grandmother who broke the silence. “Helen you do have a lovely home, if you really wanted to host I wouldn’t be opposed,” she said, breaking the molded perfection of the green halo with her serving spoon. “Less work for me to do anyway.”
You caught it. The flicker of dejection in your mother’s eyes, cast down at the crisp table linens. Fleeting and momentary before her shoulders resumed their rigid posture, before she corrected her expression and reached across the table to usher a thick slice of turkey breast onto her plate.
Helen looked delighted as she plucked a roll from the basket. “Well thanks, mom. Besides, this time next year there will be ten of us.”
You stared down at your plate, shuffling your green beans with your fork. 
The conversation would lighten up over steamy, buttered rolls and Betty Crocker stuffing. It would soften to a casual cadence about Cameron’s new accounting job at the dealership. How the pay raise from his previous job could afford he and Connie a house on Chestnut street. How the decorating had been going. How your dad was managing the hardware store this time of year. 
You would sit there in silence and unfold your secrets; smooth the linen against your lap and feel your sweating hand on his rigid thigh; the ghost of his breath at your lips when he asked you if this was a love story. You would prod at your potatoes and indulge in the fantasy of closing the gap. Conjure the cradle of his plush cupid’s bow and taste his wicked grin. Swallow the sensation of how it might feel to have a belly full of him.
Your spoon broke the gravy dam, flooding your plate.
“Dear, aren’t you going to have any liver dressing? You’re the one who made it after all. It’s quite good, isn’t it?” Your mother asked you, glancing at your grandma.
You choked on your daydream. “I—um…”
“It’s kinda chunky,” Kevin commented through a mouthful. “I mean compared to how grandma makes it.” 
Your grandma offered a sympathetic smile. “It’s a tricky recipe.”
She wasn’t wrong. It was tedious to put it mildly. It involved bread crumbs, cooked liver and ham, and a food processor. But it was a family recipe and she just had knee surgery so your thoughtful mother volunteered you to take up the reigns. How generous.
“It’s still quite good, isn’t it?” your mom asked her before turning back to you. “Why don’t you try some, you’ll see.”
You stared down at the square, pyrex dish. You never liked liver dressing. It looked like cat food cut up into little squares, the crispy edges making it only slightly more appealing. It was the texture that always got you. Mushy and homogenous. Admittedly you’d never actually tasted cat food but you wondered how it compared.
“No thanks, my plate’s already so full,” you said through feigned laughter.
There was that flicker in her eyes again, like the flames above the new ceramic turkeys. 
“Mom, come on, I don’t…” you glanced around at your relatives, busying themselves with the contents of their own plates. 
Your mother set her fork down. Her gaze flicked toward your grandma tucking her spoon happily into Helen’s jello. “Why don’t you try just one bite, sweetie.”
Huffing through your nose, you stared down at the dish, then back up at her. There was only one way this was going and you didn’t want to cause a scene. With a placid smile, you picked up the serving spoon and scooped a bite-size portion onto your plate, giving a single, solemn tap against the ceramic before setting it back in the tray.
You glanced around the still silent table, then back at your mother, still watching you intently from across the flickering candles. Defeated, you started down at the lump of mushy cat food on your plate. Scooping it up with your spoon, you brought it to your lips with a resigned sigh before opening your mouth. 
It wasn’t terrible. The rich umami of the fat and the seasonings almost made up for the texture, and quite honestly, the chunks helped. You still didn’t like it. You would never like it. You’d been forced to eat it your whole life and your opinion still hadn’t changed. Whether your mother could accept that was another subject.
You swallowed, finally, to your relief and probably everyone else’s, if they were paying attention. “I’d give it a solid C,” you stated flatly. Your mother was not amused.
“C’s get degrees,” Larry added, laughing at his own joke.
Your dad tipped his head to you. “Well I’d definitely give it a higher grade than that, but I guess you are the expert when it comes to grades, huh?” 
You humored him with a soft, pained smile, tucking into your stuffing again in hopes of replacing the taste in your mouth. You washed it down with a swig of champagne and the sweet tingle cleansed your palate. 
They left you alone after that, with thoughts too loud for your beverage to drown out. Pinball thoughts and summer thoughts. Echos of bright laughter off tile flooring. A rich, warm hum at the shell of your ear. Words like timeless and sweetheart. Loud enough to drown out dull conversations for the duration of the meal. 
“Mom can I go to Vinnie’s after this?” asked Kevin.
Helen shot him a stern look from across the table. “You may absolutely not go to Vinnie’s. I told you I don’t want you hanging out with that boy anymore.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Come on, it’s not a big a deal.”
“It absolutely is a big deal. I said no, and that’s final,” she said, punctuated by the stabbing of her fork into white meat.
Candles wavered in the tension as orange wax dripped down the sides. Not a sound aside from chewing and silverware against ceramic.
It was your dad who broke the silence. “Ok, I gotta know what Vinnie did.”
Connie bit back a smirk, eyes shifting around the table. “Vinnie got suspended for bringing,” she glanced at your grandma before mouthing, “pot to school.”
There was an audible stir from the table.
Your grandma clutched her chest. “At St. Michael’s?”
You bit your lip at her reaction, cheeks quivering as you struggled to keep a straight face.
“I know, mom. It’s appalling,” said Helen, “I really thought we could have avoided this sort of thing by choosing a private school.”
It was then that Larry turned to you. “Yeah, I bet you see this kinda stuff all the time at Hawkins, don’t you?” 
It was a dig. You might have been polite but you certainly weren’t stupid. “Not as often as you think,” you said flatly, taking another bite of cranberry sauce to busy your mouth before something regrettable came out.
“You know, Kevin, I had a friend in high school who smoked pot, you know where that got him?”
Just what everyone needed, Uncle Larry’s wisdom. You sighed and stared blankly ahead. It was everything you could do to keep your eyes from rolling back into your head. 
“Flippin’ burgers at Benny’s, that’s where,” he concluded before taking a swig of his beer. He set it down with solid thud, as if that made his point.
Kevin huffed and sat back in his chair looking more disappointed than convinced.
You thought about Eddie Munson again, perfumed with cigarettes and covered in tattoos. Thought about him at this table and wondered where he’d fit. Between you and your Aunt Helen? Across from your mother pretending to enjoy liver dressing? At the seam between the square and the rectangle?
There used to be ten at the table. Before that there were eleven.
Your most secret daydreams wafted in on summer winds. They hinged on the changing of seasons and circumstances. You thought about this table without your chair. Of the flickering candles in your mother’s eyes; the way they hinged on you. 
Your hands toyed with the linen in your lap. As far fetched as a future was, you wondered, desperately, if both ends could ever meet.
If the two of you would ever have a place among the dolls.
______
Thanksgiving was Eddie’s second favorite holiday. After Halloween of course, for obvious aesthetic reasons. Having no extended family in Hawkins, his Thanksgivings had always been small. Some better than others. There was the one shortly after his dad went to jail for the first time. He was only six, but there were a few things he remembered — that there was no yelling at the table, that his mom seemed happy for once, and that it was his first Thanksgiving with Wayne. 
Nowadays Eddie and Wayne were like passing ships. Wayne would come home from work after Eddie left for school and go to sleep shortly after he returned. The weekends were a little better, though Eddie had a tendency to sleep in late, so that left them a few hours for early dinners together when he wasn’t galavanting around or getting into trouble.
Over the past nine years, the two Munson men had developed their own Thanksgiving traditions.  
Wayne wasn’t much of a cook, but each year he would go out and get the smallest turkey he could find and gather some essentials. The thing Eddie loved most was that Wayne always made it fun. He would always encourage Eddie to help in the kitchen, even when he was younger. 
The first staple dish was a green bean casserole. It was easy enough even for an eleven year old to open a can of cream of mushroom soup, to scoop out its contents and mix it with shredded cheddar and green beans. Simple enough to sprinkle crispy onions on top and pop it in the oven. Eddie always felt like a chef putting it together.
The second staple dish was a baked mac and cheese. Wayne picked up the recipe from a coworker in West Virginia. It was pretty simple too. More hearty than your traditional stovetop Kraft. It involved heavy whipping cream, eggs, and three different kinds of cheese. Nothing compared to baked Thanksgiving mac fresh out of the oven. It was thick, and rich, and the cheese was browned to a crisp on top. The noodles had just the right amount of chew and the center was melted perfection. 
As Eddie got older some new traditions developed. Wayne started letting him in on the beer when he turned 18. Something about “I know you’re doin’ it, might as well be doin’ it safe under my roof.” Wayne was pretty lenient about most things. More than anything, Eddie got the sense that Wayne just wanted him to feel like there a place he could call home. 
There was one Thanksgiving tradition that stood above them all — the sacred text, the soundtrack to every Munson Thanksgiving — Alice’s Restaurant.
Every year like clockwork Wayne would dig the record out of his collection and Arlo Guthrie would accompany the two of them as they strained pasta, cracked eggs, and opened cans. He would spin his long-winded sermon, his odyssey, about one fated Thanksgiving and the trials and tribulations of dumping trash where it shouldn’t go and how it can spare you from getting drafted. The song was nearly twenty minutes long and took up one full side of the record. Wayne would play it over and over to the point where both of them had most of the damn thing memorized, which was difficult to do considering it was mostly just Arlo rambling a story over chords with the chorus thrown in here and there.
Tucking his legs underneath him, Eddie cradled his heaping plate, shifting his balance so that it didn’t end up in his lap when the couch cushion dipped as Wayne took his spot. 
“Damn boy, I sure do hope your stomach’s as big as them eyes. Mine’s hurtin’ just lookin’ at all that.”
Eddie cracked a wicked smile and leaned in like he had some kind of secret. “You know, you can get anything…”
Wayne raised his eyebrows, playing along. “Anything?”
“Anything you want,” he quoted Arlo before shoveling a heap of stringy mac and cheese into his mouth. 
Wayne brought his broad, calloused hand down on top of his head and gave his mop of curls a playful ruffle. Eddie chuckled through a mouthful, balancing the plate in his lap.
It was good like this. Sitting on the couch with a heaping pile of food. The B side of the record spinning with fuzzy familiarity as Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving played quietly on the small TV in front of them.
He didn’t need a table to enjoy it. Besides, the couch was way more comfortable than any stiff chair. The paper towel tucked underneath his plate did as good a job as any to wipe his mouth. Eddie was thankful for moments like these, and Wayne more than anything.
“You still doin’ game night tomorrow?” he asked.
“Nah, school’s closed so I guess they get a pass,” Eddie answered, “I mean I thought about making everyone get together anyway but I dunno where we’d meet. Still gonna do band practice on Saturday though.”
“Oh yeah? Whatcha been practicing?”
“Uh, been kinda on a Sabbath kick lately. Hand of Doom, War Pigs, early stuff,” he said, barely denting his mashed potato mountain.
Wayne took a stab at his turkey. “Y’all sound pretty good. An’ I’m not just sayin’ that.”
“Well… thanks.” Eddie toyed with his food, running his fork along the solid, jelly ridges of the of cranberry sauce.
“You guys oughta play more places, maybe after you graduate.” 
He raised his eyebrows as he chewed. “You sound awfully confident about that last part.”
“I am,” Wayne started, “after last Friday anyway. Got to meet that teacher of yours who’s been givin’ you all sortsa help.”
Eddie choked, shielding his mouth with his fist as he hacked mashed potatoes from his windpipe.
“Y’ ok Ed?” 
“Yeah—yeah, just uh,” he wheezed. He met you? Jesus. He wasn’t sure if his head was spinning more over the lack of oxygen or the implications. 
“Y’ know, she sure had an awful lotta good to say about you.”
“Did she?” Eddie asked between coughs. A deep embarrassment bubbled in his gut. 
“Sure did. You really lucked out this year. She really seems to… I dunno. Get it. Get you. Real sweet young thing, I’ll tell you what.”
Eddie thought his mashed potatoes might end up on the carpet. 
“Ain’t hard on the eyes either,” Wayne muttered before taking a sip of his beer.
“WAYNE.” Eddie wanted to crawl out of his skin. Dig a hole. Bury his own skeleton in the back yard between the laundry posts.
There was a glint in his eyes, like he was catching onto something. “What? A fact’s a fact.”
“Ok enough, please.” Eddie ran his hands down his heated face, certain he was absolutely crimson. 
Wayne just chuckled harder, like the torture entertained him.
Suddenly he was eleven years old again. Standing outside the auditorium with his guitar slung over his shoulder as parents and classmates filtered out in droves. 
“Come on boy, time to go.” 
Eddie fussed with his stiff pleather jacket, looking left and right with a growing desperation. “Can we wait just like… five more minutes? I wanna tell Chrissy good job.”
Wayne’s eyes sparkled with a curious mischief, “Oh I see. Got a little crush huh?”
Eddie hardened his lips into a line and fumed. “I do not, I just wanna say good job. God.” He glanced around,  growing claustrophobic, jacket suffocating him with heat. “You know what, let’s… let’s just go,” he huffed as he marched toward the glass exit.
What was he going to do? Storm off? Slam the door like a fucking child?
No. Instead, Eddie just sat there, staring a hole into his heap of Thanksgiving as the plate grew heavy in his sweating hands. Suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore.
“Oh come on, Ed. I’m just teasin’.”
There it was again. The heat that lit his skin like fluorescent lights as he stared down problems he was too stupid to solve. 
“It’s fine,” Eddie muttered, vision blurring as Snoopy doled out helpings on the television. The record skipped with a steady rhythm in the silence of its end.
You had met Wayne. He knew now, who you were to him. There was no unknowing that. What did he think? That he was going to bring you by some day? Introduce you as his girlfriend? Would Wayne even believe it or would that be a joke to him too?
In the countless visions of you that played out like tapes in his mind, this part always came in fuzzy. Now it was prickling static. 
He wanted to get up; to wrap his plate in tinfoil and throw it in the fridge; retreat to his bedroom like he always did. But he was already doing a piss poor job at playing it cool and he knew that would only make it worse.
So he sat there and ate it. Swallowed his shame and frustration, chased it with a solemn resignation. 
Sometimes he could almost forget. When the books sprawled out on the big desk came from his home and not his locker. When the names on your tongues were from fiction and not history. When impulse took hold of his hands and they took hold of yours. 
Sometimes his visions were more unbelievable than his wildest campaigns. You, hammering your next novel into a keyboard. Him, surprising you with kisses and a sandwich prepared in a kitchen you both shared. A home together in some far off place that neither of you knew the name of yet.
Sometimes, in the bubbling laughter that clouded the space between you, he could almost forget his place.
By the time the credits rolled on the TV, he couldn’t stomach another bite. 
“I think, uh,” Eddie looked down at the half-eaten mess on his plate, “I think my eyes were too big for my stomach.”
He got up without another word, dumped the scraps into the garbage, and resigned to his room.
______
Eddie fluttered open his heavy lids, adjusting his eyes to the darkness that swallowed him. It had been light out when he’d closed them, though he barely remembered doing so.
He wiped the drool from his face and peeled the now silent headphones off his sore ears. The clock on the nightstand painted his vision with a red neon glow; a tether back to reality. 7:07 PM.
Reaching toward his right, he pawed the air for the cord to the hanging lamp beside his bed and flicked it on when he made purchase with the switch. 
Before the turkey’s tryptophan took hold, he had been enjoying the cool breeze at his face as he drove his wagon leisurely along the trail through the Ashmar forest. 
Eddie squinted against the light and rubbed his eyes as he glanced down at your world in his lap, still open right where he left off. The weight of it was like an extra blanket; heavy like a hug. It beckoned him to stay in the toasty cocoon of his bed. Though he had half a mind to get up and take a piss, the world outside was steeped in November’s chill, so instead he took the path of least resistance and dove right back in.
As much as Cybelle was concerned about illness, it was difficult for them to travel together and still keep their distance, but they seemed to have figured it out. They picked up a small tent and collapsable cot while in Torgaard which worked well enough for sleeping arrangements. While on the move, Lazarus had his place; in the driver’s seat, and Cybelle had hers; in the caravan. She would busy herself over the wood stove, crafting strange food and concoctions while Lazarus tried his best to stay alert and steer the horse.
Sometimes she would peek her head out the large window atop the singular door and talk to him. He enjoyed those moments most of all. Lazarus was learning all sorts of new things; what daily life was like in Myrne, what the city looked like and how agriculture worked for them. What Myrnish people thought of the world beneath and what had surprised her about it so far. Namely the flora and fauna. The weather. How diverse it all was. The people too. He would often catch her studying plants when they stopped to camp; taking samples and storing them in jars, pressing them to pages, sketching little drawings in her thick leather book.
“You know I would love to visit Myrne,” he turned his head and called to her, “once this is all over anyway.”
Small, russet fingers curled around bottom of the ornate caravan window frame, followed by a pensive, crescent moon face. “Many people want to visit Myrne.” 
“Right, well, not many people actually know someone from Myrne,” he added, “and I just happen to be so lucky.” 
Cybelle’s eyes crinkled in a soft, sad smile. “I would love to show you,” she began, “but I know they will forbid it.”
The wheels of the caravan creaked along the dirt path, shifting their weight with a soft thud as they drove over a rock. “Even just one person? What if I wore a mask, like yours?”
Cybelle shook her head, “The council is very strict. Even merchants are not allowed beyond the docks. There have still been plagues, even with these rules. One in my lifetime. I was quite young but I still remember… more than I would care to. We lost… so many people.”
He could hear the sorrow twinge her voice. Lazarus gave a solemn nod, staring down at the worn leather reigns as they plodded along. “I’m sorry,” he offered, “I’m sure you knew more than a few of them.”
Cybelle hummed softly, folding her arms across the bottom of the window to cradle her head. “I know just about every family in Myrne.”
Sunlight laced through the trees, dappling the road in patches of shade and light. They hadn’t seen another soul in miles. Perhaps he was becoming a bit stir crazy from all the driving but the further they plodded, the louder the questions that rolled around in his head became. 
“Forgive me if this is, uh,” he searched for the word in the leaves, “inappropriate, but with such a small population, how do you prevent, um,” his fingers toyed at the nape of his neck, “like, accidentally marrying your second cousin?”
To his relief, it earned a big, bright laugh from Cybelle, “We are not that small, around three thousand. But yes, sometimes you must be careful,” she chuckled, propping her head against her arm. “We do keep records of such things.”
“Ah,” he confirmed with a single nod as his face bloomed with heat. 
It encouraged a glimmer of mischief from Cybelle’s umber eyes. “There was a… how you say… practice, I suppose, long before the plagues when we were more open to outsiders where—”
The words were snatched out of her mouth by a sudden halt of the caravan, jerking both of them backward with startling force. The horse cried out, rearing to her hind legs in shocked protest.
“Woah—woah!” Lazarus braced himself against the wood panel in front of the driver’s seat and whipped his head around. Unable to see anything behind the mass of painted wood, he stumbled out onto the dirt to get a better look. “Just keep Turnip calm!” he called to Cybelle as she clambered off the floor.
He scanned the perimeter of the wagon. There was nothing he could see right away, that was until he looked down. Two thick vines, moving like snakes, were actively coiling themselves around the spokes of the wooden wheel. They were covered in tiny, glass-like thorns, and they seemed rather perturbed. He imagined it might have had something to do with running them over. Lazarus cursed. “We’re gonna need uh—a blade of some sort,” he shouted. 
“There’s the knife I was using by the stove,” Cybelle called back, running her hand gently along Turnip’s dapple grey neck.
“Uhh, I think we need something bigger, come take a look at this.”
Cybelle gave Turnip a soft, final pat as she turned to follow Lazarus’ voice around to the back of the caravan. She gasped when she saw it.
“Ever seen one of these… monstrosities in your books?” he asked, gesturing to the vines.
Cybelle crouched down, looking more fascinated than horrified, marveling at the way they moved, like prowling serpents. “No,” she whispered. “They must be very strong though, to stop us like that.”
Watching them coil around the spokes filled Lazarus with an eerie dread. He shuddered to think what he would find if he followed their length into the forest. That was when he remembered the wood axe. “I’ll be right back,” he said. “Please just… keep your distance.”
The axe was on the floor when he found it, as was the kettle, and the utensils, and dozens of other objects that had been launched from their careful placement. Lazarus left the caravan with a heavy sigh.
“Alright, step aside,” he said, tapping the handle of the axe against his open palm.
Cybelle scurried backward, clearing a safe distance. 
Gripping the smooth wood, Lazarus approached the vines. He shuffled his boots into the dirt as he widened his stance, taking aim about a foot from the wheel as the menacing serpents continued their slow coil. He swung with his full force, and just like chopping wood, he let the weight of the axe do its job. It severed the vines with a clean chop. Like snakes without heads, they recoiled into the forest. He swore he heard them hiss. 
Leaning against his long axe with a proud flourish, Lazarus glanced over at Cybelle. She seemed more captivated by the what remained of the plants than his demonstration, much to his quiet disappointment. 
Cybelle shuffled over to the wheel, fascinated by the green, glassy specimens. They had fallen to the  road in a heap upon severance.
“Maybe we ought to invest in a sword when we get to Fenwood,” Lazarus half-joked, “More dangerous out here than I—”
The vine that shot out from the forest snatched the words right out of his mouth, morphed them into a scream as it seized his forearm with a searing sting. In an instant he was on the ground, clawing at the dirt with his other hand as the vengeful, severed serpent lurched him from the road. 
With startling quickness, Cybelle stumbled to her feet again. She snatched the axe from the ground and chased after him.
The pain was blinding as it dragged him. Small, glassy hooks like a fire in his forearm. It made the sticks that scraped his body feel like tickles. The rocks that raked under him like a dull massage. Though his other hand flailed desperately at ferns and the damp, dead leaves that blanketed the forest floor, there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t pull back. He couldn’t stop. All he could do was scream and panic. It was hard to tell how fast he was really going, how much time had actually elapsed. The seconds felt like agonizing hours. But when he heard the dull thud of footsteps by his head, there was a glimmer of hope for his misery to end. 
A guttural scream proceeded a loud THWACK.
It would seem Cybelle had decent aim, because he wasn’t moving anymore. Clambering off the forest floor, he righted himself as quickly as he could in his spinning, pounding world. It was anyone’s guess how long they had before the next retaliating strike, and he wasn’t about to play the odds. 
“RUN,” Lazarus shouted, bolting toward the caravan as Cybelle kept pace. The axe seemed even larger clutched in her small hands. Under any normal circumstance he would have been a gentleman and taken back the burden, but this was anything but normal.
He didn’t even look at his arm. He didn’t have time. He didn’t want to. He could feel it though — the blood as it trickled down his wrist, the sting of the thorns that were likely still lodged there. 
Both he and Cybelle were barely on the driver’s platform before he was at the reigns, commanding Turnip to move with a quick snap of the leather. The dappled grey horse trotted forward with a rare sense of urgency.
Lazarus leaned back against the driver’s seat, chest heaving, more grateful than he’d ever been in his life to feel the cool wind at his face. They were a fair distance up the road before he even looked down. The sleeve of his white linen shirt was completely saturated in a wet crimson that clung to his skin.
Cybelle emerged from the caravan with an armful of bandages and jars and took the seat to the left of him on the other side of the door. 
Lazarus stared blankly ahead, mind still numb from the ebbing panic. 
“Let me see your arm,” Cybelle said gently.
He met her large eyes, now brimming with a soft concern. Slowly, he raised his trembling arm to hover in the space between them; the gap between the seats. 
Cybelle’s fingers twitched above the soaked linen. Gingerly pinching the cuff of his sleeve, she peeled it back to reveal his angry wound. 
Lazarus turned his head toward the forest, unable to look. “How bad is it?” he asked dejectedly. 
Cybelle paused for a moment, assessing the damage. “There are still some thorns, I need to pull them out. They are not too deep though,” she reassured. “You will be alright.”
It was the warmth in her voice that made him turn his head to face her, to face his wound — the mangled trail of lacerations that encircled his arm. Some of them did look quite deep, to him anyway. The bleeding seemed to have stopped on its own for the most part, thanks to his shirt. 
Shifting so that her feet now faced him, Cybelle scooted forward in her seat so that her lap was below him and grabbed a pair of tweezers. Her hands hovered above his arm, and for a moment Lazarus wasn’t sure if it was the rocking of the wagon or her proximity to him that caused her hands to tremble. There was a deep fear in her eyes, and not just from the wound.
His palm faced up at her, close enough to feel the heat of her body. 
In their brief time together they had always kept their distance. Lazarus in the driver’s seat, Cybelle in the caravan. Separated by walls and windows, tents and masks. At night, she would indulge him with her naked smile from across the campfire. Blinding and brilliant, like the crescent moon above them.
Lazarus held her eyes from across his offering; a bloody bridge that hovered in the space between them. 
With hesitant acceptance, she lowered her fingers slowly, then her eyes, guiding his arm to rest across the bandage in her lap.
The wink of her tweezers in the sunlight encouraged him to study the trees again. He gripped the leather reigns to brace himself.
Her touch was delicate and tentative as she steadied his arm, like his skin was a hot iron, and hers at risk to burn.
He flinched when she pulled the first thorn.
“Sorry,” Cybelle soothed.
He flinched again when she pulled the second. And the third, fingers writhing against the warm silk of her dress. 
“I know it hurts, but you must stay still,” she quelled. 
Lazarus allowed himself a glimpse back at her large, uneasy eyes that shone over the crescent moon. “H—how many more are there?” He didn’t dare lower his gaze to count.
With deeply furrowed brows, Cybelle scanned his arm, “Perhaps…fifteen?” she guessed. “They are small, it is difficult to say.”
Lazarus gave a heavy sigh and slumped into the seat, straining to find some comfort in the greenery that passed them. His head bumped dejectedly against the wagon as it swayed along the path. Fifteen. He tried not to think about it, but instead found himself wondering how badly it would scar. His fingers trembled as he braced himself for the next sting.
Instead he felt a hand.
Featherlight touches at the heart line of his palm. 
Lazarus glanced over his shoulder, expecting to find fear in those deep, upturned ovals. Instead there was something much softer. 
It was hiding just under the curve of her lashes, in the tender brush of her fingertips — a quiet fascination. 
His chest rattled, with more than just adrenaline. Her eyes would surely raise at any moment and he braced himself to meet them, but instead she did something much bolder.
She lowered her palm. 
It nestled into the groove and slope like it belonged there. Her skin like warm, russet earth against the vast, snowy landscape of his. When her fingers got brave enough to curl around the back, he allowed his pale digits to follow suit. 
They sat like this a moment, staring at the knot of palms and fingers with a gentle awe. Her cheeks dimpled under the ivory crescent, and despite the radiant sting, Lazarus found himself smiling too.
Finally, Cybelle met his eyes and readied her tweezers again. “Are you ready?” 
Lazarus tightened his grip. “I am now,” he said softly.
There were sixteen thorns. Lazarus counted. They fell one by one to the floor of the caravan. He didn’t flinch at all this time. 
She was quick and methodical, and when her work was finished, she painted his wounds with a soothing balm that smelled of mint and fresh green herbs. The sting faded to a tingle. 
What he noticed more than anything was how her fingers lingered as they left his hand to wrap the bandage.
“Thank you,” Lazarus uttered, running his hand along the neatly spiraled ridges of the dressing.
Cybelle gave a singular, dutiful nod and shyly gathered her supplies. She resumed her place, inside, and got to work reestablishing order in the mess of objects strewn about the floor. It was quiet the rest of the ride into Fenwood. 
As they approached the city, the trees grew denser, the path grew darker. Moss hung like tapestries over lichenous limbs. Frogs croaked in chorus from every direction. A peaty moisture hung heavy in the air. 
All signs pointed toward the same conclusion — they were entering the boglands. 
Eddie sat back against the heap of pillows and rubbed his arm. The one with the puppet tattoo. 
He would always wonder what you said about him, to Wayne. The words you used. Verbatim. You were always so good with them. He would watch you wield them every day, like a weapon or a spell. You could paint worlds for him as quickly as his eyes could gather them. 
It was when he was next to you that you seemed at a loss, like the concrete walls were listening, like they would shatter the illusion the two of you had conjured. It was safer to speak with your eyes, your hands, your laughter. 
Despite the volumes left unspoken, the questions left unasked and unanswered, the volume in his lap had answered one:
That it was, in fact, a love story.
______
A/N: I want to thank everyone for their patience and support while I wrote this chapter. I fought a lot of inner dragons to bring it to you, but I’m in a much better mental place now. I’m learning so much about myself in the process of writing this story, my first one of this length, and how best to keep my inner flame alive. It can be scary when it dims, but it's bright as ever now. 
I was admittedly very nervous about including so much family backstory for Teach, but I felt it was important for the telling of the story. The Precious Moments teacher doll does actually exist. It’s called “Love Never Fails” and it came out in 1984. I couldn’t have conjured it better if I tried.
As always, nothing encourages me to continue writing this story more than hearing what you think about it in comments, reblogs, and asks. It's truly the most rewarding thing for me as a writer.
I’ll be serving up some piping hot drama in 13 so stay strapped, folks!
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goddessofwisdom18 · 1 year ago
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I so agree... I'd love a book on Iulia and/or Stela (probably Stela since Iulia's ending seems kinda set) where we get actual closure on Tati!!
Like she comes back at the beginning of Cybele's Secret and you think there's gonna be more of her... only for her to have like 10 secs of screen time at the end just to disappear again :/ Juliet give us the forbidden third book
Still so so sad there’s not a third book after Wildwood Dancing and Cybele’s Secret
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thesiltverses · 1 year ago
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any clues on whats next after tsv ends ? :)
No concrete confirmation, but we did put out a Patreon post back in spring with a few draft pitches, to gauge initial interest and see what kind of genre storytelling folks were most excited to see from us.
I'll paste them below, so you can see the kinds of things we've had in mind (#2 and #3 were the most popular, but it was a fairly even spread outside of that). We've had a few more really fun ideas since then that I'll keep schtum about for now.
General feedback was that people were most enthusiastic about seeing ongoing, multi-season projects from us, which makes perfect sense and is much more sensible for us anyway in terms of sustaining a livelihood / retaining audience members along the way.
That said, TSV has been a three-year endeavour which is a big commitment, and personally I think the best horror is often self-contained, short and sweet.
So I'd really love to have the time to work on a few miniseries-type shows as well, but also need to recognise that we likely don't have the bandwidth to juggle two projects simultaneously.
With all that in mind, I think the direction we're hoping to be able to pursue is:
1+ shorter horror miniseries or one-offs with production or network partners (if they want to work with us) where we're largely on writing duties or with a lighter load.
1 longer, ongoing weird-fiction show which is all ours, baby, all ours.
Draft pitches
#1: Manes
Genre: Historical horror, cosmic horror, family drama with murderous stakes
Influences: The Terror Season 1, pretty much.
Summary: In 208 AD, the ailing Roman emperor Septimius Severus travels north across Hadrian's Wall into Caledonia, with the aim of finally uniting Britain under imperial rule.
For Severus, there's more at stake - his two sons are openly at odds over the succession, and it's openly said that civil war will follow the emperor's death.
Severus himself rose to supreme power through violence and the elimination of his rivals. Now, haunted by the possibility of revenge by the shades of the divine dead and dwelling unhappily on his legacy, the emperor hopes to share his final triumph with his sons and demonstrate a different lesson to them - that an equitable peace is a lasting possibility.
But as the Roman column makes its way north into apparently endless woods, surrounded by cronies, schemers, Britons, soothsayers, priestesses of Cybele, and more, the emperor and his family find that their enemy is nowhere to be seen - but they are being pursued by a force that is both strange and terrible.
And soon enough, the Romans realise that they have perhaps strayed not into Caledonia at all - but into a hostile realm of their own imagining...
Why make this show? We adore period horror, and there's far too little of it out there.
Severus and his family are a fascinating set of characters who we'd love to spend some time with - as ethically-compromised participants in a very Shakespearean tragedy, and as individuals whose heritage, religious beliefs and psychologies allow us to explore aspects of ancient Rome that haven't been done to death in fiction already.
#2: I'll Dance In The Deep Shadow
Genre: Weird-fiction noir, paranoid espionage fiction, cosmic horror
Influences: Cold War spy classics, Roadside Picnic
Summary: Across the water from the mainland UK, a vast walled city has come unexpectedly into existence.
The city’s walls are composed of purest shadow; its leaders have not revealed themselves to us, nor have they made demands of us.
Upon its streets, our own dead and forlorn doubles wander; grinning doppelgangers who seem to know something terrible from the future that’s to come.
We call the city Umbra.
Umbra is a bottomless well of shadow and secrets; its darkened landscapes are home to suppressed memories turned savage and monstrous.
Its citizens and its guards are twisted echoes, repetitions, and whispering relics of the world's buried past - and they will not reveal Umbra's purpose to us.
Around Umbra's great walls, representatives from the world's governments gather and plot against one another - mercenaries, guides, spies, black-market traders, scientists and killers - to infiltrate the city, map its streets, and navigate its dangers for themselves.
Why make this show? Less of an Eskew sequel than it probably sounds at first glance, this one. 
We'd love to do a paranoid, twist-filled, pessimistic John Le Carre-style spy thriller, with multiple characters who can neither trust themselves nor each other - and we feel like we've got some really interesting horror themes around memory and forgetting here to explore with this concept.
#3: Our Wars Have Ended
Genre: Dark fantasy, New Weird fantasy
Influences: The Black Company, the Bas-Lag series, Gormenghast.
Summary: It’s a strange time to be alive.
Thirty years ago, countless legions of the ancient dead rose from their graves to conquer the living lands; lands which now rest in an uneasy - but peaceful - state of occupation.
Withered corpses sit upon the thrones of the living and play silent courtier in the shadowed halls, acting out the rituals and habits of their past lives while dead men and women keep watch from the ruined towers. 
Mortal historians and linguists frantically mediate between our returned masters, trying to keep the peace - which estate belongs to whom? Who shall rule eternal? Which traditions deserve to live on?
But this is a time of wondrous change, too - new technologies, empowered by the revelations of the Dead Reclamation and the will of the Ancestors. Strange machines rumble through the hills and necronautical vessels delve into the unexplored territories of the afterlife itself.
And it has been announced that the Hollowbrow Queen will unite the nation with a powerful gesture, taking on a living consort in a marriage of the fleeting and the eternal.
On one side of the conquered country, an old veteran leads his mercenary company on a reluctant expedition towards the capital, in the employ of a long-dead king on a mission of revenge.
On the other, a young dead-diver and essayer into the realms of the dead is hired to investigate a peculiar mystery, and a conspiracy that may involve both the living and the returned…
Why make this show? Because Game of Thrones had no interest in the (to us) enjoyable questions of 'well, why do the ancient dead want to conquer the living, exactly? What happens once they've done it?' and we'd love to deconstruct that and play with the idea of loathsome undead aristocrats from every period of history squabbling with one another over what their conquered nation actually means.
Because we think we've built up the confidence and the skills to take a big swing at an epic adventure story and a semi-traditional fantasy - it feels like an idea that could potentially appeal to a wider audience while remaining true to our own core values of Weirdness, Horrible Things and More Weirdness.
#4: To Those Who Wait
Genre: Cosmic horror, dark comedy, mockumentary
Influences: Dead Set, Ghostwatch, Savageland, Evil Dead
Summary: Eskew Productions has gone in a surprising direction with its latest production - a new reality experiment and dating-show podcast.
Eight lovelorn singletons have been given rooms in the exclusive Gregory Hotel. Over the course of six weeks, these contestants will go on dates, carry out team challenges, and ultimately try and find themselves a life partner - all without seeing each other's faces.
The aim of the experiment? To prove that good things really do come to those who wait.
As they pore through a mixture of recorded and behind-the-scenes footage, however, it may become very apparent to listeners that something else is waiting in the Gregory.
And one by one, our contestants find themselves at risk of far more than being voted off...
Why make this show? As a great big act of play more than anything else.
We adore horror mockumentaries, but in audio-drama they tend to be faux-journalistic. 
Doing a show that instead mimics hokey reality shows to the point of being mistakable for the real thing, but turns out to be a ghost story instead...that's a lot of fun to us.
#5: In The Devil's Counties
Genre: Historical horror, cosmic horror
Influences: Nathan Ballingrud's Wounds, Seven Samurai, Between Two Fires, Dog Soldiers, Aliens…
Summary: As the Magna Carta states: “All evil customs relating to forests and warrens, foresters, warreners, sheriffs and their servants, or river-banks and their wardens, are at once to be investigated by twelve sworn knights of the county, and within forty days of their enquiry the evil customs are to be abolished completely and irrevocably.”
In early-medieval Sussex, a motley group of knights rides out to investigate tales of ungodly horror and acts of forbidden worship from deep in the English countryside - including Ralph Dagworth, 'hell's mapmaker'.
What the party of knights discovers out in the warrens and the forests of the county, however, is far stranger and more terrible than any Christian conception of hell…
Why make this show? Again, because we're itching to have a go at some period horror, and that weirdly specific Magna Carta quote is just too fun to pass up as a springboard for some 'isolated squaddies in enemy territory' storytelling. (Sadly, it does have a more grounded explanation.)
#6: Strangling Knot
Genre: Anthology horror
Influences: Junji Ito, experimental 8-bit horror, Black Mirror's Bandersnatch
Summary: 
“The rules of the game are simple. This is a place of endless forking paths and one exit. 
There’s something terrible in here with you. Get ready."
A Choose Your Own Adventure-style horror audio anthology; each episode is a distinct story with branching paths that may lead to failure (most of the time) or escape (more rarely).
Why make this show? This is likely the only show that we could reasonably produce as a side-project (and we've been chatting to a couple of other talented horror creators about it already, sssh).
We'd like to be able to play with single-narrator horror storytelling again that's relatively quick and easy to produce - but we do want to at least try and ensure it doesn't feel like we're repeating I Am In Eskew.
There's some really fun stuff happening out there already with CYOA-style audiodrama, and that seems like an opportunity that's ripe for playing about with.
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erose-this-name · 6 months ago
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Paganism held a lot more social roles than monotheism ever can.
The priesthoods of each God's cults often acted as like-minded communities for certain Queer/neurodivergent people.
Transfem? Joining the all eunuch priesthood of Cybele was a great excuse to rid yourself of testosterone and wear makeup and woman's clothing.
Gay? No one cares, that's not a sin in most pagan religions, it's not even taboo. But, you'll never beat Apollo's record of tragic ex-boyfriends or be more of a twink than Dionysus. No one can out-gay the gods! Pagan myth has a lot of good roll models actually, did you know that myth-accurate Loki is a gender fluid shape shifter and has gotten pregnant multiple times??? He's not really "evil", either, just a lovable scamp who accidentally and causes Ragnarok in a horrible prank gone wrong
Lesbian / asexual? Become a Vestel virgin, now it's literally illegal for men to have sex with you! (Sadly not as easy to be openly lesbian back then as gay, but Sappho pulled it off)
Butch? Join the cult of Artemis, it has the same perk as previous except you can also go hunting and "act the bear" and shit. (I'd imagine these convents of "virgin" women probably had a lot of secret yuri going on)
Intersex? Um, you are literally the physical embodiment of Hermaphroditus and are sacred and also probably magic.
Schizophrenic? Those aren't 'hallucinations', you've been blessed by Apollo with the ability to see the future and talk to dead people! People will pay you to tell them whatever and they'll just believe it and get closure!
Autistic? Hyperfixate on mythology and/or history, being a walking encyclopedia is actually extremely useful for being a storyteller / oral historian.
Don't like civilization? Join the cult of Pan, god of wildness and nature, all his shrines are out in the middle of the woods somewhere.
Just wanna fuckin' get really drunk and high? The cult of Dionysus throws the best parties, talk to them.
You don't need to justify any of these alternative lifestyles to allo cis hetero neurotypicals if you can just threaten divine retribution if they try to fuck with you. (Granted, the fact you have to give up any other career options still sucks, but it's something. It still helps to normalize it.)
In a lot of cases, this benefited everyone because all these different cults were uniquely able to fulfill different social roles because they didn't have to suppress their diversity.
Nearly all of these kinds of communities and social roles are gone under Abrahamic faiths. Now neurodivergence and transness are fuckin' "demonic possessions". Being gay is sin. I guess if you want an excuse to not have sex you can still be a monk or a nun??
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birthev · 1 month ago
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Why orgasms are hard work: an etymology lecture
A few weeks ago, I was thinking about Dionysos (who is probably my favourite Greek deity, but I'll save that monologue for another time) and Cybele, and how they're both deities with "orgiastic rites". You might be thinking that refers to sex, and you're not entirely wrong, but it actually refers to a loss of control in general, frenzy, transgressing boundaries. Which can lead to, well, orgies and orgasms. I actually thought "orgiastic" had a different etymology than orgy, but I did some digging and I was wrong, so you're getting the results of my research. That seems like the sort of thing Tumblr would enjoy.
Both "orgiastic" and orgy are derived from "orgia", meaning "secret rites".
"Organ" (both the instrument and the thing in your body) is derived from "organon", meaning "tool".
"Orgasm" is derived from the verb "orgaô", meaning "to swell", which can literally refer to ripening fruit, but also obviously have a sense of excitement or sexual … swelling.
Greek "orgê" means "natural impulse, mood, anger, passion". The verb "orgaô" is derived from it.
You might wonder what even the connection is between all these words and meanings. It gets even better because "orgia", "organon" and "orgê" are all related to the word "(w)ergon", meaning "work", which not-so-coincidentally is actually related to its meaning through a Proto-Indo-European root *werǵ- ("to make").
Conclusion: rites and orgies are work, organs are tools for work (including that kind of work, I can hear you thinking), emotions are an inclination to work/do something, including ripening and swelling of different kinds, sometimes leading to an orgasm. If you want, you can probably get some more sex jokes from this, like something about sex being work or a religious rite or whatever. An orgasm could probably also refer to an explosion of anger/passion originally.
Thank you for coming to my lecture on etymology. The exam is next week. Performing orgiastic rites or having orgasms or using any tools is considered cheating (pun intended). Work, anger, passion, excitement and the organs needed for the exam are allowed.
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goddessofwisdom18 · 2 years ago
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“You must learn to trust your instincts, or you are doomed to spend your life blinded by duty while beside you a wondrous tree sprouts and springs up and buds and blooms, and your heart takes no comfort from it, for you cannot rise your eyes to see it.”
Jena and her sisters from Juliet Marillier’s Wildwood Dancing 🐸🌙🌲
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mermaidenmystic · 1 year ago
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Cybele's Secret by Kinuko Y. Craft
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thoodleoo · 2 years ago
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not a man or a woman but a secret third thing (priest of the magna mater cybele)
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yazthebookish · 4 months ago
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I don't want to jinx myself but I've been reading some good books lately and I love the excitement of wanting to finish one and get to the next. So many titles to catch up with.
- Still caught by the magic that was Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier, I saved Cybele's Secret (companion novel) for this weekend. I want to spend a lazy Saturday with a good book and no interruptions.
- Pits & Poison was a great conclusion to the duology by R. Raeta and this tells the story of a love that spans more than 800 years
- Currently reading Married by Morning and what was my least favorite Hathaway book might bump itself up to be my 2nd favorite in the series. Already halfway through so I'll be done with it tonight. Started rereading Hathaways series by Lisa Kleypas this month and I only have Love in the Afternoon left.
- I'm slowly getting into my classic fantasy era and I have Summers at Castle Auburn in the line up next.
Just want to get a good chunk off my TBR before I start my Throne of Glass reread next month.
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consistentsquash · 11 months ago
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HP Rec Fest - Day 17
Fest - @hprecfest. Theme - A fic that made you cry.
Snarry is good at angst. So I made a list! 10 fics with 10 types of angst :D
The Boy by themoonandstars1989. What if Snape wasn't a good guy? :D Read the warnings!
The boy had grown beautiful — alabaster skin and dark red lips. Snow White personified, waiting for a prince's kiss to wake him up.
Mostly Harmless by emilywaters1976. What if Harry wasn't 100% good guy? :D Read the warnings.
After the war, former Voldemort supporters go into indentured servitude. Snape becomes Harry's slave. That's when things get complicated.
Morior Animus by vain. You know where this is going but you cant stop reading :/
". . . You seem to be enjoying the book." "Read it twice through," Potter replied, vacant gaze staring just a little bit over Severus's left shoulder. He sounded proud of himself. The sad smile reappeared and he shrugged slightly, sensing if not seeing Severus's raised eyebrow. "I like happy endings."
No Sex, No Galleons by Ziasudra. Snape Whump :D
Even after the death of both his Masters, Severus Snape couldn’t escape a life of servitude. Tonight, just as every other night, he stood on a shaky wooden platform, with nothing but a tattered robe wrapped thinly around himself.
Help Wanted: God & Executioner by pir8fancier. Wartime really sucks when you have to be the one doing the thing.
"You are quite willing to let the rest of us shoulder your sins, are you? Kill for you, so that you can exit this war with a relatively clean soul?"
So Lonely Without Me by caligryphy. Wartime also really sucks when you can't do anything.
"... What if they’re dead? What if no one knows we’re here—what if they’ve sold us out—what if the war is over and Voldemort’s won? Dumbledore secreted us away—he can’t do the same for himself. What’s to stop the assassins from gunning for him? What’s to stop Dumbledore from dying—he’s the only one who knows where we are—the only one—"
Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence by cluegirl. Voldemort wins is the worst situation ever :/
"Delusional child, don't you remember what you are?" He hissed between blows that rocked Harry breathless, "Have you let our Lord's indulgences fool you?" Lucius grunted, and the whip bit again, "Fine robes! Elegant chambers! Laughable titles do not make you anything but a slave!"
Always Hungry by melora98. More wartime whump. Sometimes you have to make big sacrifices to save the other person :/
Harry didn't know how long it had been. He slept, jerked awake, his mind spun. Walking around the small perimeter of the cell exhausted him and he would collapse flat on his back, staring up into the darkness until fitful sleep caught him again.
The Impossibility of Crows by LoupGarou. Wartime. Doing the right thing means giving up on a lot :/
"I have to do this." His voice was so soft I had to strain to hear it. "Of course you do. You never did have any reasonable understanding of your own limitations."
Standing on the Shoreline by tofsla. Postwar. You can totally have postwar Snarry angst. This one is melancholy and really brilliant as a Snape character study.
He never undresses, not for this. It was circumstance and then it was habit, and why would he have wanted anyone to see his body, anyway? He has little enough going for him as it is, even with the mark gone. And besides, the dresses are—are— But he almost wants to say yes. Roll over onto his stomach and let Potter unzip him, open the dress from neck to arse. He could almost let Potter expose him like that.
Also bonus!
If You Are Prepared by Cybele. Nobody is prepared for this one :/ A sweeping old school Snarry epic.
The boy cannot know.
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annies-scrapbook · 4 months ago
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just stumbled across a fantasy novel titled "Cybele's Secret" and, well, i'm pretty sure the way i initially interpreted that title was not what the author was going for
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