#cw l0ng post

[princeanxious]

Is it possible to buy yellow cotton gloves? 👀

But get a crooked staff! It would be so much fun! And if you have siblings/housemates it is fun to bop them (gently) with such things :D

Mmm this is true!! but i have no idea if the lotion would ruin them if i got a pair? Its about the dye reacting to it after all, even if it was professionally done. (But goodness if it is feasible? I'm def gonna look into getting some yellow, black, purple, and green gloves because 👀👀👀👀 COLORS)

Winter and work have been so mean to my hands and theyre constantly dried out, and bc my skin sucks it gets damaged rly easily, like fully scabbed cuts that take over 2 weeks to heal from just minor scrapes(like, anywhere from a paper/cardboard cut to a tiny sharp piece of metal that accidentally caught me to a cat paw trying to play that didnt even draw blood) that have literally left visible scarring months after they finally healed.

This weakness also extends to my skin's inability to make actual callousing that would prevent some of these cuts/damage, bc the skin under any forming callous isnt strong enough to hold it I guess? Add in dry skin and thus a piece will catch and i will lose the callous and have a new, even weaker patch skin exposed than before. Its never really gorey or even a wound, just. Annoyingly tender.

Now add constantly washing hands bc i work in retail and the fact that i have currently flaring eczema that hates the work soap(working on that, trust me) and im applying hydrating lotion about 5 times a shift when i remember to do so but can't apply too much bc i work with clothing- just. Bleh. Yknow?

Hense me just breaking down and getting cotton gloves to wear during the day. Bc nothing i apply sticks long enough to do anything and my hands are just getting worse Dx

As for the crook, i'd actually probably use it for support in walking xD but gently bonking my siblings and herding my cats out of things with it would also be very useful xD

[groundcontrol21-extendedcut]

cw: much mental illness below the cut

i am just. so lost. going back to uni this week and absolutely petrified of c0vid bc now i must play the “do my friends and roommate like me enough to be cautious for my sake?” game. given my track record with them and some of how they treat me, i’d guess no.

kinda sucks bc doctors still don’t know what’s completely up with me, but you know what, fuck it, i am trying to “diet and exercise” my way out of this bitch. just sucks bc it could all be for naught with one case of l0ng c0vid. i already have fatigue, brain fog, migraines. i can’t stand anymore.

but what option do i have but to throw myself to the wolves? the thought of continuing on like this, unwell and isolated and in fear, is enough to make me su*cidal. but if that’s the case, best live and then die of post viral complications i guess? no, i’m not sure it is. i don’t know guys. i just don’t know anymore.