#cw guys he gets sassy again eventually

[seabugsbaby]

FINALS ARE OVER DESIGNING KALLAMAR TIMEEEEE

[giogio-gucci-gangstar]

Oranges Have Feelings Too

Thank you @hoetaro-kujo for entering my little writing raffle! Hopefully you like this!!!

Summary: You and Mista enter a prank war against Fugo and Narancia. 

CW: Nicholas Cage 

“Babe?” Mista called from the other room. You shifted in your seat. Your head was still dangling off the edge of the couch as you bookmarked the page of your latest mystery thriller, eventually sitting up.

The world spun a bit as he blood rushed out of your head before you replied. “Yes?” You were a bit hesitant. You weren’t sure if this was going to be one of his sweet and sassy moods, or if he was already scheming for some fun. Either worked for you, even though you were on the shyer side, Mista and the gang made you feel comfortable to be yourself. It also helped that you loved Mista and everything he did. 

As you walked to the kitchen to meet him, you tried to smooth down the wrinkles in your hoodie. 

“So,” Mista threw a nut into his mouth, “remember THE INCIDENT?” By the way he said it, Mista was definitely hinting at something specific. But with him, there were too many incidents to count. 

“When No. 5 got scared and tried to crawl up your-“ Mista cut you off quickly.

“GOD NO!” While that event had been traumatizing, for both of you, it was not the incident he was referring to. Given how he nervously bit his lip, it would seem the incident he was talking about rattled him more emotionally… 

“Ya know…” he managed to spit out. He made a few incomprehensible hand gestures and continued, “the one with Narancia and Fugo?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, hinting that you should definitely remember what had happened with them… Simultaneously refusing to give you any more details. 

“Oh come on Mista stop being so cheeky and just tell me!” You were getting a little frustrated at this game of his. 

But he just batted his eyes at you from across the kitchen, “I thought you liked my butt cheeks…” 

“Oh shut up!” you were a little flustered so it took a moment to carefully choose your next guess. “Was it when we walked in on Fugo and Narancia kissing?” You offered. 

“Noooo! How many times do I have to tell you, they weren’t kissing! They were just trying to bandage the cuts from where they had stabbed each other! At most it was a brotherly hug.” He was getting frustrated now. Apparently the incident he was talking about was too difficult to physically talk about. 

“Ohhhh was it when they, ya know, wrote,” Mista’s eyes bulged terrified that you would say the cursed word, “a certain scary number, all over your clothes?” Mista was shaking from the memory. 

It had been a terrifying day for him. He nearly pulled his hair out because he couldn’t find a single article of clothing without a number 4 written all over it in black ink. You had never seen him so stressed, clothes were being thrown all over his room, and lights broke, but his high pitched screams pierced all other noises. 

“Yes yes that one!!” Mista was flailing his arms around, so excited that you had guessed correct. 

“So now that I’ve won your little game of charades, will you tell me why we’re playing?” You couldn’t help but tease him back. The boy was so outrageous your sarcasm just dripped when he was around. 

“Well,” ah there was that glint in his eye. He was already incredibly handsome, but when he was feeling mischievous his eyes were almost radiant. He puffed out his chest a bit and he folded his arms with a certain swagger. 

“I have found a way to get revenge.” 

“Oh really?” You leaned over the kitchen island looking at him. “And what might that be?” Sure it was probably a little immature to scheme against your teammates, who hopefully weren't eavesdropping from their rooms down the hall. But a little prank war was necessary for morale, no matter how many times Buccellati and Abbacchio insisted it wasn't. 

Mista’s face lit up in a maniacal grin, “I’m going to convince Narancia that some fake facts are true!” He was so excited he was practically vibrating. 

“Remember how angry Fugo was when Narancia told him the earth was flat? It's like two birds with one stone! Tricking Narancia and pissing off Fugo!” Mista was very proud of his plan. He was practically patting himself on his back. 

“I think the next one will be that vaccines don't work! Or that birds are government surveillance drones!” Mista kept prattling on about nonsense conspiracy theories, that Narancia would be very easily convinced were true. 

Of course you were very proud of him, and obviously that would be hilarious to watch. But you remembered how terrified he was by their last prank… He needed to do something even worse back to them. Funny for you two to watch of course, but also just a little scarring for the boys. 

“That would be hilarious, but maybe you want to do something a little more permanent? Like really screw with their heads and stuff?” Mista scrunched up his eyebrows and looked at you in confusion. 

“Just because their last joke was a little… cruel? I think we should be a little edgier with our retaliation strike.” You were a little worried he would think you were taking it a step too far, but after a few more seconds of pondering, his face lit up again. 

“Lets do it!” You met his grin with a warm smile. This was going to be a very exciting day. 

“So. What do you have in mind?” Mista asked, but the gears were already spinning in your mind. 

“Who does Fugo hate most in the world?” 

“Always himself, sometimes Narancia…” He stopped to think for a little, “Oh and always Nicholas Cage.” 

“Brilliant! Now, what is Narancia’s favorite food?” This was the real clincher. Yes, Narancia was baby, but he was also a baby who carried a switch blade and was super excited to use it. 

“Uhhh maybe strawberry cake? Oranges? Chocolates? Really I don't think he would turn down anything sweet.”

“Perfect.” It was all coming together. 

~~~~~~~

“I don't think i ever need to see Nicholas Cage’s face again.” Mista complained as he slid down the closed door of Fugo’s room.  

“Too bad you’re looking at him right now,” you snickered as you held up a print of him in front of your face. You were pretty proud of your handiwork. There was not an inch of Fugo’s room that was not covered in Nicholas Cage’s face. Mista had even wrapped his pencils and books with the wrapping paper you had custom printed. You were down about 50 Euros, but it was a small price to pay when you saw Fugo’s reaction to this masterpiece.  

The clock struck 12 and you heard the ridge door open in the kitchen. Aaaaand here he was. Right on time. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” His scream was muffled by the door, but evidently he had seen Nicholas Cage’s face duct taped on his sandwich too. You quickly pulled Mista into Fugo’s closet so you could have prime seats of the impending meltdown. 

Fugo’s footsteps were heavy as he pounded his way down to his room. You had to cover Mista’s mouth to keep him from snickering and giving away your position. Then there it was, the fateful turn of the doorknob. 

You peered through a crack in the door and saw a look of pure terror spread across Fugo’s face as he saw even his bed covered in Nicholas Cage’s face. He took a shaky breath and tore back the comforter to see that Nicholas Cage was IN his bed too. His breath was coming in fast bursts as he spun around the room. He spun again. And then again, before releasing an unearthly howl. 

“MISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” 

Mista couldn't contain his laughter anymore and cackled his ass off as he sprinted out of the closet and down the hall before Fugo could catch him. 

~~~~~~~

“Are you ready for this responsibility Number Five?” Mista held the little Sex Pistol up to his face. The poor little guy was crying tears of joy, he was never chosen for anything and now he was given one of the greatest responsibilities: to help Mista prank Narancia. 

Number Five gave a small mumble of affirmation and an enthusiastic nod of his head. All amidst happy tears. Mista gave him a piece of salami before cutting a little hole in the orange for Number Five to hide in. He carefully stuck the skin back over Number Five’s little hole, and placed the bait on the kitchen counter. 

You sat at the table watching and waiting for everything to go down. Sure, you were the mastermind of this operation but you weren't foolish enough to get caught. You had to preserve your spot as everyone’s friend in the gang. 

“Oi Narancia!” Mista called the boy playing video games in the other room. 

“Yeah?” 

“I just got some oranges, do you want one?” Mista was awful at hiding his plan. He was snickering so badly he had to cover his face with his hand. But those big brown eyes always gave his mischief away. 

Luckily Narancia was too preoccupied with the thought of food to notice. He promptly paused his game, and strolled into the kitchen. You knew he would pull out the biggest and juiciest orange so you just waited. 

He started to peel it, then paused when he heard a small whimper coming from the orange. 

“Ow!” A brief look of confusion passed over Narancia’s face. He must have figured it wasn't real. 

“It hurts!” There it was that little voice again. Narancia’s eyes shot open in confusion. He held the orange farther away from his body as he turned to Mista. 

“Oranges don't have feelings, right?” Narancia was hesitant in asking his question. 

“Well,” Mista paused trying to sell his character, “I did see this documentary that said plants can feel pain. Especially trees when they’re being cut down.” Narancia just stared at the little orange cupped in his hands. 

“Please don't peel my skin! It hurts!!” This time Narancia was sure he heard a voice. While scared that his food was talking, it was pretty damn cool that he had made a scientific discovery. Narancia was so expressive, all of his thoughts played out on his face like a little show. 

He sprinted away, hopefully to find Fugo. 

Once he was gone, Mista keeled over you in a fit of laughter. 

“Ya know babe,” Mista pulled you against him in a tight hug, “that was pretty brilliant.” He placed a gentle kiss on your lips and held you tight. At least until the other boys figured it out. 

[frostygar]

The Flash S5 Ep5 Thoughts

- If I were Nora I wouldn’t come either, you betrayed her heart and her trust.

- Nora may have almost hurt a couple BUT I love sassy Nora who rebels against her parents it’s really refreshing for someone to actually not like Iris. And she caught the bad guy so WOO NORA MY BABY IS DOING JUST FINE

- So the writers finally wrote someone to tell Iris how she acts “condescending, I know better than you” and they most certainly do not have Iris change, AND Nora ends up forgiving her? Wack. Unrealistic. Boring. Change things up smh

- “You know, Nora, I wish you would try to understand who your mom is today.” UMMM BITCH SHE’S THE SAME DIDN’T YOU JUST HEAR HER???? Also why don’t YOU try to understand your daughter’s actions under years of neglect from your step sister. (also I watch Riverdale and that show pisses me off but NOTHING has ever pissed me off this much omggggggg)

- Cisco is back! YASSS WE HAVE MISSED THE VIBES 🥺🥺🥺

- OMG PROFESSOR STEIN!!! Small crossover we love to see it, and we also love to see Cisco and Caitlin’s friendship! Even if it hurt Cisco ugh a crying atm

- UMMMMM EW. EW WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WHY IS THAT CREEPIER THAN ANY RECENT HORROR MOVIE please…….. I much prefer Elongated Man… aLSOO ALSO how did they not hear that weirdo fucking pounding his fucking hands into the glass I feel nauseous. 

- I know I wanted journalist!Iris again but like because she’s being even worse than she normally his (and Barry) I literally just want her to get the fuck off the screen. I even took a small break and watched something else and I can still feel the anger inside of my body… like I just can’t even look at Iris OR Barry. That’s just sad… the worst sibling duo since Bughead 

- Barry working with your journalist sister-wife is probably not professional but no one would ever point that out so… rip to me wanting to watch shows that down ruin everything over a disgusting

- Schrap… give us more of these cool words to use I love them. ALSO NORA AND CECILE BONDING WE LOVE TO SEE IT

- Oh Cecile not you too… if Iris doesn’t respect her own daughter she’s not owed respect back. Besides, since when the FUCK is it “disrespectful” to say that your mom nags at you… all mom’s do it. Nora is raving about her mom wanting to control her and is talking abut her nagging at her over everything and Cecile is like "this is the west household and that means that all west's are respected" like girl you have been civil and understanding to everyone and everything this whole time and suddenly its out the window??? I understand that in black households it’s a big thing to respect your parents, especially a mother who raised a child alone, but this is some pedestal bullshit and highkey right now I want basically everyone except Nora, Caitlin, Cisco, Ralph, and even Sherloque, fucking dead for the rest of the episode………. wow I never thought a show could literally make me this mad.

- That scene afterwards was really weird. Like in my family we can never really move on like that, but also how would Nora get all of that to fit together and stay for like five seconds and why wouldn’t Cecile give Nora the screws like—

- Cisco vibing the chalkboard and knowing it’ll hurt him and he’s not going to tell anyone I’m: sad.

- “Did I scare him away?” CAITLIN! 😭🥺 Also didn’t he MAKE Killer Frost or am I just dumb and slow lol

- This Meta is so gross yet so cool asdfghjkl EW THAT’S GONNA GIVE ME NIGHTMARES, THE META’S MASK HEAD THING BEING IN SIGHT AND THEN DISAPPEARING AFTER SAYING “FLASH” EWWW although funnily enough I’d rather watch that than Iris and Barry so um

- How is The Flash able to make the most disgusting, creepiest thing than like any horror movie

- Barry trying to force date shit with Iris is so awkward and weird and forced… I hate it a lot

- This woman not being impressed with Iris or Barry is giving me life … ARE THEY REALLY NOT REALIZING THAT IRIS IS BASICALLY THAT WOMAN IN THE FUTURE WITH NORA??? “She’s so cold, she gave her son what she thought he needed but was wrong” like… how dense are these fuckers???

- Why is Barry acting like this is his last night with Iris? Like I can wish but why is this forced domesticity that makes me want to rip out my eyes happening rn? EW I WAS LOOKING DOWN AT MY LAPTOP AND I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THE META IN THE CORNER I’M SO DISGUSTED.

- Barry,,, she is exactly like that woman fuck off there’s a time to be supportive to both women and rn it’s not to Iris. GOD NOT IRIS ACTUALLY REALIZING IT OVER BARRY??? The fanservice and ruining Barry’s character is real and it HURTS

- Why is the meta looking at Barry and Iris as if he knows who they are… he only knows the flash

- Caitlin realizing he was hurting himself to help her I— “I could bring my value to the team” BUT YOU DID WAY BEFORE YOUR POWERS. You’re smart, you know science, you help The Flash help people. Sure the powers are a big bonus but he brought so much value even before :( If anything ever happens to Cisco and Caitlin’s friendship, ever, I will kill everyone and then myself

- I know this show is about The Flash and rn the season is about Nora but like,,, constantly talking about her and having westallen scenes is just so… overdone. They talked about it outside of the gala, then it showed Cisco and Caitlin for a few minutes and then they’re back. Give it some rest Jesus

- Every time someone says that Iris probably dampens Nora’s powers to keep her safe literally feels more like “the more I say it the more true it has to be” like… shut the fuck up can someone (Caitlin or Cisco) PLEASE slap some fucking sense into this boy??? Blindly following after your sister-wife isn’t healthy and it’s dumb as fuck. See, kids, this is why you don’t date and marry (and eventually have a kid with) your step sister

- Now Iris is being the smart one…………………. this is the weirdest, forced bullshit that I’m more used to from Riverdale.

- I’m glad there’s more cute bonding between Cecile and Nora. But what kind of kids would be mean to someone who lost their parents? That’s a tv thing yes but irl??? I’ve never heard or seen it and it just… cannot be true. Also how does Cecile know about a story from when Barry was ten?? Like how would this come up with her and Joe for him to tell her? Really that story was… westallen? And the fanservice grows… That was an awful way to show Nora that Iris sometimes can be a good person when she was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. God why does NO ONE get that Nora was raised by an awful mom and she already has all of these bad feelings for her? Why are they trying so desperately hard to downplay Nora’s rightful feelings? Oh, right, because Iris isn’t supposed to be able to do wrong… God why do we watch the CW’s awful shows that pander to toxic/gross couples that are catered to while the better main side cast is tossed to the side?

- That was a weird (and creepy) scene with a random face call by Iris lol

- OH GOOD RALPH IS BACK BECAUSE APPARENTLY EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM LOL. HE’S FUCKING SPIDERMAN-ING HISMELF OMG??? Also why does Iris have to come along every single fucking time?? Also also how didi the meta know whoo to capture like all he saw was The Flash

- MAKE THIS META INTO AN ACTUAL HORROR MOVIE BC THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING SCARY. LIKE SOME PEOPLE SOMEHOW SAY THAT THE BABADOOK IS SCARY (when it’s boring and not scary at all smh) BUT THIS IS SO FUCKED

- YES META DUDE HURT IRIS PLEASE WE. BEG OF YOU 

- Did Iris just fucking jump… for Barry… when Ralph should be the one getting him? The pandering I—

- EW RALPH… ATE HIM?

- The way that Iris is suddenly called a badass… the fanservice isn’t even trying to be hidden

- RAGDOLL WHAT A GREAT META NAME

- Don’t tell me that after a couple of stories of Iris as a kid suddenly makes Nora forget all the times future Iris treated her like trash and thinks it’s okay because she has the ability to be nice (but never is)???

- Future Iris made her “accomplishments” off limits??? What kind of dumbassery—

- They’re gonna make the one character who actually called Iris out forgive her after five episodes??? Jesus we couldn’t have one thing, one character who doesn’t like Iris could we?

- I’ve never seen any books or movies about Nancy Drew (but I will give the new one a try because I’ve heard it’s good) but when the awful detective female leads (basically just Betty and Iris) call themselves Nancy Drew makes me automatically hate Nancy Drew. If Nancy is a selfish, annoying, whiny bitch who can’t do no wrong and butts into people’s lives then she sure is like Iris and Betty

- This family bonding is just so fucking FORCED. Poor westallens having their scenes have to shoved in and the quality ruined. I’d feel bad if I wasn’t called racist for how they write Iris (and Barry together). I already go through this shit on Riverdale I’m basically just dead inside lol

- WAIT SO AFTER ALL THIS TIME NOW YOU THINK ABOUT USING DEVOE’S SATELLITES??? WHY WOULDN’T THAT BE THE FIIRST THING AFTER SALLY WAS DESTROYED?

- Cisco understanding that Caitlin is afraid and not ready yet 🥺🥺

- So that episode was fucking AWFUL. The only good thing about it was Cisco and Caitlin’s friendship and the cool yet horrifying meta. Everything else was just… the fucking worst. I’d literally rather watch disgusting Bughead step sibling kissing scenes than people try to downplay Nora’s feelings all because “no one can hate Iris” uwu

- I’m not usually this… hateful. But something about that and (typically older) people using the “you HAVE to respect your elders!” mindset when they don’t respect the people younger than them. Like, if my older sister doesn’t respect me, why the fuck would I respect her? Respect isn’t given, it’s earned.

[erlenmeyertrash]

Doorways, Part Three

yikes get prepared to do some reading y’all i’m surprised at myself lmao

hope you like it!!

tagged: @countessmissyshort​

(word count: 2714 | pairings: none | cw: self-deprecation)

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

Virgil slowly shut his door until it latched- don’t slam it, don’t upset Patton any more than you just did, you idiot- and sighed deeply, leaning against it for a moment before heading over to his bed and tiredly clambering in. Thomas’ emotional state was significantly better- dark mood beaten out for now- but Virgil’s was spiraling downward pretty quickly. The realization that he had a bad mood- that he was the one of the four that harbored most bad moods- only made it worse.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, eyes glassing over. In his own mind, he felt like he was digging through a treacherous landscape, batting away at the thickening fog he could feel rather than see and ripping his feet from the sticky swamp below. Icy tendrils tried to wrap around his wrists and ankles, but he sluggishly worked his way through the dreary dampness, feebly trying to evade his-

-...evade his purpose.

Virgil had told Thomas he hated working hard, and he meant it. Dealing with all that negativity all the time was exhausting. He had to do it whether he wanted to or not- whether he could or not. It wasn’t like any of the others could ever do it, though- Patton could handle some of the emotion, but would eventually revert back to his much better happy-go-lucky self. Roman could, maybe, but he’d tire out too quickly and race back to his own realm of wonder and adventure. Virgil wouldn’t have blamed them, either. Who wouldn’t leave this mess if they had the change? Who would possibly want to-

Stop that. He shook his head quickly, attempting to dispel those thoughts, internally ripping himself away and stumbling backward. He just needed to calm down and not let Thomas feel any of this. He just needed to beat this down and hope it would eventually grow tired and leave on its own accord, successfully suppressed.

It wouldn’t happen, though- he knew that. It was pervasive, and insistent, and exhausting, and-

A knock at the door shook him from his thoughts and he peered at it, puzzled. A glance at the clock (the one on his desk that told him the actual time- not the one spinning wildly on the wall) told him quite a bit of time had passed since breakfast.

“...Come in?” he called, sitting up slightly. The handle turned and in came Logan, peering around momentarily before stepping in. Virgil frowned.

“Logan?” It wasn’t like the logical side to come to his room- or, well, anybody’s.

“Hello, Virgil. I wanted to talk with you.”

Virgil swallowed. “Listen, if this is about breakfast, I’m sorry- I just-”

Logan shook his head and moved to sit in the desk chair. “It is about breakfast, but I’m not necessarily here requesting an apology.”

Virgil leaned against his pillows, glancing away. “...Oh.” And then- “...So what are you here for?”

“I’m mainly here to ask about you. Are you alright?”

Virgil sighed. “I’m fine, Logan. I just- a bad mood was settling in. It was kind of a lot to handle. I’m getting the hang of it now.”

“That is good to hear.”

Virgil stared blankly across his room as it was quiet for a moment. He found himself staring at his other door. Plain. White. No decoration to speak of.

“...but not good to hear if it’s not actually the whole truth,” Logan added quietly. Virgil turned to him for a moment before looking away, unable to hold his gaze.

“...It’s just-” Virgil scrambled for the words- “-just- why me?”

“Why you what?”

“Why am I anxiety?” Virgil asked, misery evident in his voice. “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to be created. Thomas just wanted an antagonist, but people liked me, so I stick around. I never wanted-”

He broke off, forcing the lump in his throat back down, and gestured helplessly to his dark, cobweb-covered room.

“...We never asked to be ourselves either, Virgil.”

“Well, yeah, but-” Virgil shook his head. “It’s not the same. It’s fun to be you. I’m- I’m a burden.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean- look at you guys! You wear a necktie and glasses and- you’re so brilliant and witty and sassy. Roman is- is dressed as a Disney prince, for crying out loud, he’s the ultimate hero. And Patton’s so- just so- cheery and bubbly and happy and wears the silly adorable polo and- and the cardigan, and just- and here I am, with black eyeshadow and an oversized hoodie and sloppy hair, and if I could ever conjure up anything it would- probably be storm clouds and embarrassing photos and exam papers with failing grades on the top. My point is- why would any of you three ever not want to be yourselves and want to be somebody else?... What could ever be wrong with being one of you?”

Logan was silent. Virgil glanced back over at his closet door, falling onto his pillows in defeat. A heavy, dejected silence hung in the air. The shadows on the ceiling above Virgil’s head slowly began to spin.

“...Roman is dangerous.”

“...Huh?” Virgil whipped his head around to stare at Logan, who was looking at his hands in his lap. The shadows even seemed confused- those over the bed slowly dissipated. What?

“Thomas has said it himself,” Logan continued. “If he only listened to his most wonderful, romantic, fanciful thoughts, he would be setting himself up for heartbreak. Imagine if Roman had more unbridled influence- if he were left unchecked by you, or me, or even Patton. Thomas would have these huge, mountainous, ridiculous dreams dashed all the time by reality. …Do you remember the phone call?”

Virgil shuddered. How could he forget? The phone ringing, Thomas’ face of horror, Roman wailing for him to pick it up, his own terrifying voice- Get rid of it, get rid of the phone now!

“...Yeah. I remember.”

“Roman doesn’t know when to hold back. You helped Thomas through that one.”

“That was a moment of sheer desperation. And you were gone. Well- not gone gone, like you said, whatever,” he corrected as Logan opened his mouth to interrupt. “You weren’t there to stop the first call from happening in the first place. And besides- Roman was just doing what Thomas wanted.”

“Which is rewarding, yes. But sometimes, what Thomas might want isn’t what he needs… which brings me to Patton.”

“Patton?”

“Yes, Patton. Where Roman can be dangerous, Patton is- unpredictable. If Thomas only listened to Patton all the time, or even listened to him much more, he would exhaust himself being happy to everyone all the time and doing what everybody else wanted from him. His own necessary productivity and ambition would come to a screeching halt. Patton is actually constantly being suppressed or morphed or has to watch Thomas lie about his feelings while he’s struggling through them. And when he does take the time to work them out- well. Filming those Moving On videos hurt Patton deeply, as you saw. That took a lot out of him because Patton kind of- well-” Logan took a breath. “He prefers to cherry-pick his way through Thomas’ life, bounding from one positive emotion to another, no matter how fleeting. You know how he is conversationally- always saying whatever comes to his mind, interjecting randomly with things that don’t always make logical sense- it shows Patton is subject to whims and fancy. He is totally ungrounded. You and I convince Thomas he needs to work through more difficult feelings in order to better understand himself. You and I- rather ironically- both know repressing emotions isn’t good for him.”

Virgil mulled over this a second, taken back by Logan’s brutal criticism of the fatherly side. “...But Patton just tries to keep Thomas happy.”

“Exactly. He tries to keep him happy all the time. As wonderful as happiness is, it shouldn’t be a constant. It is unwise to make joy your baseline. But I-” Logan stopped.

Virgil glanced over at him again. The logical side seemed to sag slightly in the desk chair.

“...you…?”

“I…” Logan sighed, glancing at Virgil’s desk. “I used to, but- if Thomas listened to me all the time now… he would most likely almost never be happy.”

Virgil blinked. “Woah. What?”

“The other two bring the sunshine- not just a whole lot of it. Sure, I helped Thomas through his education quite a bit in the past- guided him towards his ambitions and goals, but- his goals are changed now. They certainly aren’t as academic as they once were. Which is fine! Absolutely fine. But.” Logan gave a short laugh. “Imagine if Thomas had never tried making videos, stuck to a chemical engineering career, and watched his Broadway dreams fade away. We all know how miserable that would make him… and because of that, I… well, at times I feel as though I am not much use anymore.” He exhaled slowly, a defeated smile on his face. Virgil frowned deeply.

“I used to be much more in control, as you know. I had to learn to give the reins over to Roman- to ignore Thomas’ education, everything he worked towards for so long, as Thomas shifted his chemical engineering career to the backburner and went full-throttle on the extracurricular I used to quite honestly hope was fanciful and fleeting. And that transition… As unemotional as I may be, Virgil, that was- that was terrifying. That was heartbreaking. But it made Thomas so happy.”

Virgil froze. What is going on?

“...Didn’t that make you wonder?” He blurted out suddenly. “If Roman being in charge- if you weren’t there- if that would have made Thomas happier all that time?”

Logan shook his head. “I used to. But I was wrong.” He glanced up at Virgil, smiling as he did.

“...But- but how? You just said-”

“I said the transition was difficult. I said it made Thomas happy. And sure, Thomas had hard times growing up. But did I keep him from being happy back then? No, of course not. Quite the contrary. I realized, then, that Thomas utilizing my strengths had made him happy- capitalizing on that love for the rainforest and transforming it into a potential lifelong career. Using Roman’s interest and guiding it into this plan helped Thomas in the long run. His discipline in his education helped him in other areas- and Virgil, that’s how you help him, too. You’re not always at the forefront- you rarely ever are. You do your best work helping Thomas quietly in the background.”

Virgil’s brain was spinning. He was quiet for a long moment.

“...how do I help him?”

“When you shoot down one of Roman’s wild ideas, it’s because you’re thinking long-term. To use a very Roman-esque metaphor, you see the chinks in the armor before he rides into battle. Roman only complains when you do so because his ego prevents him from seeing the issues himself. You’re there to protect him and Thomas both.

“And when you make Thomas practice his lines over and over, when you give him the butterflies in his stomach backstage, when you fear failure- it’s not because you want him to mess up. It’s because you want things to go perfectly, for Thomas to do his very best, for his fears not to come to fruition. And that is important to note.

“Virgil, when you’re afraid of a breakup, of losing friends and family- it’s because you don’t want Thomas to get too attached to something that might not always be there. You are attempting to be a cautionary tale before it’s ever written. You work against Patton and Roman simultaneously- you carry that weight- because you don’t want them to get hurt by their own ambitions.”

“Jesus, you’ve put a lot of thought into this, Logan.”

Logan grinned broadly. “That is what I do best. Just- think of us all like- say, a bike. Roman and Patton are the handlebars- they can pull Thomas in certain directions and guide him where he wants to go. You and I are the training wheels- making sure the turns aren’t too tight, that he doesn’t lose his balance. When Thomas is aware of us, when he also takes us into consideration, he makes sure he doesn’t take a road too bumpy or uneven.”

“But if we’re training wheels, doesn’t that mean Thomas- at some point- won’t need us anymore?” He winced once he realized what he had said. “...Sorry. That was probably a bit too close to what you mentioned earlier.”

But Logan simply shook his head again. “You’re forgetting a few things- first, that some people can ride bikes without using the handlebars, too. Second, Thomas is a child at heart- a toddler using training wheels isn’t too far of a metaphor stretch. Third- Thomas still doesn’t know how to ride a bike. The man made a vine about parkour and nearly shattered his wrist falling on purpose. Do you really think he’s going to ever hop on a bike without a little extra support?”

Virgil couldn’t help the loud laugh that burst out of his mouth before covering it quickly. Logan looked immensely proud of himself.

“And I thought you said the other two brought the sunshine,” Virgil teased. Logan blinked, caught off-guard by Virgil’s statement, before smiling softly- then his face turned more serious.

“...There is another thing I wanted to discuss.”

Virgil swallowed. Patton’s dad lectures were one thing. But a Logan lecture? He’d never heard of one, and it scared him a little bit.

“Roman tells us those stories because he knows we can’t experience them.”

“...Yeah. I know.” A bitter taste was back in Virgil’s mouth. He looked down again.

“No- you misunderstand. He is not boasting. He is sharing.”

Virgil glanced up sharply. “...What? What’s the difference?”

“None of us could truly follow on one of his adventures, and Roman knows that. He has the imagination and the bravery, the ego, the voice of narration, the knowledge of how to follow a plot steadily. We would either fail the quest, create plot holes, or never write the story because we wouldn’t know which direction to take it. Roman tells us these stories of grandeur so we can also experience them. Just like how Patton loves us all so much because he knows how hard it can be for us to love ourselves, fundamentally. Just as I am here for you, right now, being the voice of logic and reason. Just how you question our decisions for us, point out faults before they bring about our demise, and worry so we don’t have to. Personifying worry and anxiety- and to a degree, self-preservation- is not an easy task, Virgil. It is a steep order. It takes a lot out of you- but you are strong enough to handle it. You were made to handle it. Just as I was made to handle challenges of intellect. Just as Roman was made to handle creative block and self-doubt. Just as Patton was made to handle heartbreak. Thomas made you because he couldn’t function without you- and you have a two-video story arc to prove that, Virgil. Remember that.”

Virgil blinked hard to clear the fog from his eyes. He silently fiddled with his jacket zipper, Logan’s words bearing down on him in the quiet. He glanced up at the other side.

“...Thank you, Logan.”

Logan straightened his tie and glasses, sitting up in the chair. He nodded at Virgil.

“No, really. I- I had never thought about it... that way. You did, though- and you didn’t have to share that with me, but you did, and I… I… I really appreciate it.”

“You have helped me before, Virgil. I was simply returning a long-overdue favor.” He stood up from the chair and moved to exit, but not before turning back.

“...Oh. And Patton told me to tell you that you should apologize to Roman. I believe he said something akin to, ‘You can’t really wound Roman’s ego, but if you could, that would have.’”

Virgil smiled. “Of course Patton would say that… and he’s right. I’ll go. Thanks again, Logan.”

Logan smiled back. “Glad to be of assistance.”

A/N: ...in my defense, Logan's a bit of a chatterbox... goodness i love him for it tho 

(this was partially my own ridiculous mind-dump headcanon on how Virgil is seen as so necessary- it’s not just that he’s also good, it’s that too much of the other’s isn’t the best, either. sorry if the train of thought derails quite a bit in there. writing logan’s dialogue is a major brain stretch in that I have to take my own words i want him to say, make the sentences long and rambling, and spice them up intellectually, which is so fun!- but can get messy)

comments and critiques are always appreciated :) and if you want me to tag you let me know!