#cw autogynephilia mention

[isuggestforcefem]

Hey, I'm a generally unhappy cis guy(afaik), and I've thought to myself that I wish I had been born a girl, but I'm not exactly sure why. I fear I'm just projecting an internalized manosphere/incel-esque "women have it easier" perspective onto my present loneliness. For my entire adult life, my actions(and general inaction) have/has been controlled by the desire to not be the type of man that all men are stereotyped to be in certain spaces, the view of which I know not be true now, but that I worry I heard and believed at too early and formative an age. How do I know I'm actually trans and not just a man who hates the box that is manhood? The thing is, I really don't care about what other men think of me. They could call me a faggot/whatever, but patriarchy as enforced by women just hits all the harder in my experience. Terfs have done far more to dissuade me from pursuing this line of thought than normie transphobic men ever have. As in, the idea that I will only ever be the predator/monster I was destined to become.

I don't even know what I'm saying here at this point. Do you relate to any of what I've said? Any suggestions? :3

That seems pretty trans to me. How do you know you are? That’s simple. Give being a girl a honest, genuine try. Maybe just with your friends, or with a reduced comitee. And not a one day try that stops when you realize you feel slightly uncomfortable when called she. Because, where does that discomfort come from. From not wanting to be called that, or from wanting to, so desperately, but knowing you’re not supposed to?

Finally, you are not a predator for wanting to be a girl. What wanting to be a girl means is just that you might be one. Autogynephilia isn’t real

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

20, 42, 52 :)

20. what is your favorite song at the moment?

oooo, tough. probably

or

or

or

or

I've really been feeling Pat's later stuff recently. I never really got it when it first came out. I was a dumb teen and still vibing hard with the Johnny Hobo and Wingnut stuff. Now I'm behind my peers in my late 20s and trying to get my shit together for once in my life, so it's like, "huh."

42. favorite books

Where do I start?

"Nevada" by Imogen Binnie. The protagonist Maria is literally me in every single possible way, in the worst way possible lmao. She goes on a road trip after her life falls apart and meets a depressed young man in northwestern Nevada who is blatantly a repressed transsexual. CW for drug abuse, autogynephilia discussion, and one mention of BDSM.

"Little Fish" by Casey Plett. Amazing book. It's about a Mennonite-raised trans woman in Winnipeg who has to get back into prostitution to make ends meet. CW for sexual violence, alcoholism, suicide, etc.

"Sovietistan" by Erika Fatland. The author travelled through every country in Central Asia around 2010 and wrote about her experiences in each of them. Some of the anecdotes are insane, and she treats her subject matter in a very human way (which is unfortunately not common in writing about the region). Definitely worth reading.

"Orlando" by Virginia Woolf. I must've read this 10 times my freshman year of college. A teenage Elizabethan nobleman gets transformed into a woman (happily enough) by spirits and lives that way for 400 years.

"The Man Who Spoke Snakish" by Andrus Kirivähk. This is a fantasy story about a dying pagan community during the Christianization of Estonia. They talk to snakes and live in the woods, but the youth keep running off to live in Germanicized Christian farming communities. This book has all kinds of stuff. There's magic, snake-human cultural exchange, culturally-pagan irreligious people who hate the high priest, vicious polemics against bread and porridge, and remnants from another human species who live in the trees and tame lice. There's some weird stuff about women marrying bears instead of men (i swear it came out before the tiktok thing lmao) and some really brutal war scenes, but it's definitely my favorite fantasy book of all time. Better than The Hobbit, and I love the Hobbit. It's so good. It's so so so so so good.

52. something i'm talented at

Im a decent cook! here are some photos:

(clockwise: general tso's tofu, surinamese moki alesi, a japanese version of mapo tofu, and my favorite swedish pizzasallad)