#cw ;; long post

[giraffeiisms]

Aaron was right in front of her before her brain had even caught up with the movement. One second she was pressing the soaked rag into her leg with hands that didn’t feel like hers anymore… and the next—air.

She was in the air.

That realization was what finally yanked a sound out of her. A half-startled breath, barely more than a gasp, tore from her lips as her head lolled backward and her stomach dropped. The world tilted and blurred in slow, stuttering frames—like her brain was only catching every third second.

Her lashes fluttered shut—then open. Then shut again. She blinked like she could wake herself up from the fuzziness, but it wasn’t sleep tugging at her—it was something colder. Deeper. Worse.

Then she was laid down—gentle but rushed—and her body responded in a series of limp jerks and tiny spasms, the shock making her limbs betray her. She felt the rag slide away. The belt that had been digging into her skin was yanked off with it, and in its place—pain.

A tighter pressure slammed down over the wound, and Ellie let out a weak, bitten-off whimper. Her back arched slightly off the floor before collapsing again, her entire body trembling against the doorframe now braced behind her shoulder.

She shouldn’t have closed her eyes. That was her mistake.

Darkness was too easy.

And too much like letting go.

Then her name. Again.

Ellie.

It sounded like it was underwater, like her ears were full of cotton and broken memories. She answered him in her head, sharp and sarcastic and pissed off like she wanted to be—but it didn’t make it past her lips. Her mouth stayed slack, too heavy to move, the sound of her own voice swallowed by the weight of blood loss.

She felt cold fingers on her skin. Something wet. Then burning.

The saline hit the open wound and lit her nerves on fire. Her hips jolted off the ground, just slightly—just enough to let Aaron know she was still there, still fighting even if her body was running on fumes.

A whistle. A sharp one. Her brows twitched, barely perceptible, and her eyelids peeled open—thin slits of cloudy green.

The ceiling above her spun lazily.

But Aaron’s face pulled into focus just long enough for her to recognize it.

She squinted, her head lolling toward him, pupils blown and slow to track. Her jaw worked, like she was trying to form a sentence with frozen muscles.

“Vi…sion’s funny,” she slurred, tongue thick and slow. “Everything’s… floatin’…”

Her gaze flicked around, paranoid even now, even like this. She couldn’t lift a gun. Couldn’t run. Could barely breathe. But her eyes stayed on him, searching his face for something—anything—that might tell her this wasn’t the end.

Then the cold set in deeper.

Like a tide rising up her spine.

“Joel…” Her voice cracked, barely above a whisper. “I’m s–so fuckin’ c–c–cold…”

Tears she didn’t remember crying clung to the edges of her lashes.

And her hand, slick with blood and twitching, reached weakly for something—floor, fabric, skin—anything to hold on to.

[90scully]

ANGELINA JOLIE as KATE LIBBY in Hackers (1995) dir. Iain Softley

[coffygifs]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER | 1.02 "The Harvest"

Buffy saving Cordy for the first time

[polinsated]

polin kisses ↻ rotated [insp.]

[whatisyourchildhoodtrauma]

BUFFY + THE SCYTHE

"It is not for thee. It is for her alone to wield."

[emziess]

My gut is telling me not to count your sister out just yet. Maddie didn't just rebuild her life. She rebuilt herself. Doug may have her, but I don't think he has any idea who he's dealing with now.

911 gif meme: [2/8] Episodes: Fight or Flight - S02E13

[wildmoonatic]

stay funky

[l3irdl3rain]

Hello, those of you who follow me on Tumblr (l3irdl3rain) or Facebook (Chloe's Home for Disabled Cats) or know me in real life know about my passion for special needs animals, specifically cats. Almost all my pets are seniors or have special needs. While most of my vet work is covered through my job at the clinic I work for there are still medical costs that can add up.

Arthur is one of the many cats I've taken in over the years. He's the king of comfort, an expert at lounging, and a beloved uncle to foster kittens. I like to joke that he 'tricked' me into adopting him. He was from a hoarding situation and in such terrible shape that the shelter mistook him for a senior. I had my doubts when I went to meet him and saw how spry he was, but he did look really bad. I thought maybe he really was just an energetic old man. Upon taking him to my vet my suspicions were confirmed. We estimate Arthur at around 5 years old.

Due to being an exotic shorthair and having an extremely flat face Arthur does have some special care. I have to clean his face crevice daily as well as apply eye drops. He has also had an entropion repair to fix his eyelid as well as 3 separate rhinoplasty surgeries to allow him to breathe better. Doc also warned me he would need a soft palate resection. This will remove the extra tissue in his throat and allow him to breathe better.

A few months ago I called and got an estimate from a referral clinic. They quoted me anywhere from $5,500 to $7,000. At the same time I discovered a growth on my bird, Joey's head, and I elected to put Arthur's surgery on hold to get to the bottom of what was going on with Joey.

Unfortunately Arthur has started to have actual problems related to his soft palate. He is eating slower and gagging at times. He also has started hyper salivating and it is a struggle to keep his face dry and clean, leading to infections on his cheeks. Unfortunately I no longer can put his surgery off for a better time when it is more affordable for me. I called around and got more estimates. UW Madison quoted me $3,500 to $5,000 for the surgery.

As always, I appreciate anyone and everyone who has supported me and my critters. Any and all funds raised in their fundraiser will go directly into my pet care, even if we exceed the goal I set. Also, after his initial consult I should be able to get a more accurate estimate. For now I have set it to the high end of the surgery, but I will adjust as needed.

***Arthur's Medical Fund***

[tabbytrout]

“If you wanna act like an animal, I'll treat you like one. "

You have. For years, I am different than the other kids on the playground, I like to read and draw, I probably barked or meowed once or twice as a kid, I may have even hissed at you when you upset me. Why did I do all of those things? Because, I was a little neurodivergent kid who hadn't learned how to act in public when I was little. Middle school hits, and I have only slightly changed, I won't hiss at you anymore but I am still weird, I'm too much for most people, I start to trail behind people like a lost dog, I start to get rewarded when I do something they like but yelled at when something I do upsets them, And even then I would take the blame even if it was their fault. It's high school now. I'm loud. I'm mean, I'm different than the others, I'm neurodivergent and I'm alternative and I don't take shit from most people,

So I became the animal that bites.

But while you were watching me become the mean dog, I was already there. I told my entire family that I was a cat. I had family who treated me like a cat! I had a cousin who would pet me, not in a weird way, she never did anything bad. But I would get cradled and I was given different foods that resembled cat food or dog food, take those Scooby cracker things for example! I loved those, while you were bullying me I was imagining what it would be like to run around in the woods as a wolf, Or what it would be like if I was a little cat, and sometimes when you would startle me I would hiss at you, lost in thought and terrified of human interaction. I had my grandmother ask if I was still gonna do this when I was older, an what would my husband think? Well... I'm dating another alterhuman now. Which is what I told her I'd do anyway, so! Here I am!

My point is, no matter how hard I've tried I've never felt human. So much so that as a kid I recognized, "I'm not like these people." my alterhumanity stems from Neurodivergence, My trauma, My not fitting in with people, and honestly I love being able to slap this label on. I loved knowing there were people like me! I wish I would've learned about it sooner. I remember seeing the "on all levels except physical, I am a wolf" vine and Being like. That's SO COOL!!?

And I will always chuckle at the "Well! .. You don't have to become an animal because of that stuff!" like no fuck off you're so anti fun and coping and you're just boring!!! The community has its flaws, but It certainly has its perks. I wouldn't have met some really amazing people if I hadn't learned about it!

I love being an animal and expressing myself

[zhouyes]

being despised by ignorant and weak insects. they trampled on you and cursed you. how did it feel? don't you hate them? don't you feel aggrieved?

YANAN as LI LUN

fangs of fortune, 大梦归离.

[dailyflicks]

EYES WIDE SHUT (1999) dir. Stanley Kubrick

[thegaissilent]

for: @halfofozsfavouriteteam prompt: my  muse  murmurs  your  muse’s  name  in  their  sleep,  unaware  they’re  listening.

Elphaba's been asleep for a while now, but Galinda is having a particularly tough night. She's never been much of a fan of storms and everytime there's a strong one, she finds herself a little agitated; especially considering the fact their window is still broken.

Of course, the other girl's presence, the fact she's right there also keeps Galinda agitated. She wasn't supposed to even have a roommate. But stupid Ama Clutch had to step on a stupid nail and was not able to take care of her at Shiz. Which, of course, meant there was a free bed. Which, then, meant that she had to share the room with her.

Galinda couldn't make a single sound. She couldn't give Elphaba any insight on her fear of storms, so every time there was a thunder that was particularly loud, she would squirm in her own bed, hugging one of her pillows. It was a shame for she had a plushie hidden in her suitcases, but it was just one of those thing she could not let the other girl see.

After a particularly loud one, Galinda squeals, more on the inside. Still, she hears the other girl calling her name right after that and immediately feels her cheeks warming up.

"That was not what you think it is! I'm not afraid!"

She replies, defensively. But Elphaba doesn't say anything else.

Instead, she hears her name... Again.

"Elphaba, what is wrong with you?!"

She gets up all at once, ready to start an argument with the girl; as it often happens. But Elphaba remains in her bed; which honestly offends her more. How dare she not get up for their nightly arguments!

However, when she moves close to her, she realizes.

Elphaba is sleeping.

"What..." She whispers. Before the other girl says her name a third time, in a way that sounds particularly soft, very different from the way she normally talks to her and Galinda hates it. She hates the way it makes her heart feel warm and her stomach feel funny.

She doesn't really think as she approaches more, sitting on the edge of the bed, just to take a better look at her. She doesn't have any particular reason for that, but Elphaba has quite an unique face. In the sense that it's funny, of course. It doesn't matter that her eyes are as green as the forest or that her smile and teeth are pretty. No. She looks funny and Galinda just wants to see how much funnier she is when she sleeps.

She sits by edge of her bed. It's not so dark since Galinda has had her lamp on this entire time. Thus, it is light enough for her to be able to see each one of Elphaba's freckles and she has a lot of them! If she was prettier, Galinda would be able to form constellations on her skin.

She doesn't touch them, but her finger is as close to touching as possible, brushing through the freckles and connecting them.

She is so focused on Elphaba and how ugly she is that she's caught completely by surprise when a particular loud thunder roars, and Galinda lets out a little scream and runs back to her bed, mentally cursing herself for that ought to have waken Elphaba up.

She's a little sad she didn't get to complete her constellation.

[90scully]

BATTLE ROYALE (2000) dir. Kinji Fukasaku

[aspdboyfriend]

  ＊  AntiPlatonic

An aplatonic-spectrum term to signify "different" or "weird" perceptions of platonic relationships that are typically seen by those with ASPD.

This definition is intentionally vague because it is intended to encompass all experiences. For example:

Viewing being friends as something to be 'honoured', or something special that is only bestowed to those you trust.

Friendships being exclusively transactional — if you get no benefit, it's insignificant.

One may not care for social interaction and view friends as too much work / is repulsed by forming bonds / etc

I acknowledge that these experiences are not ASPD exclusive — I wanted this term for myself because my reasons for not wanting friends are too complicated, always fluctuating, & very deeply rooted in my disorder :,) I figured an umbrella term for myself would be nice.

[PT start: Antiplatonic. An aplspec term to signify "different" or "weird" perceptions of platonic relationships that are typically seen by those with ASPD. This definition is intentionally vague because it is intended to encompass all experiences. For example:

Viewing being friends as something to be (quote) honoured (unquote), or something special that is only bestowed to those you trust.

Friendships being exclusively transactional and, if you get no benefit, it's insignificant.

One may not care for social interaction and view friends as too much work/is repulsed by forming bonds/etc

I acknowledge that these experiences are not ASPD exclusive—I wanted this term for myself because my reasons for not wanting friends are too complicated, always fluctuating, and very deeply rooted in my disorder. I figured an umbrella term for myself would be nice .PT end]

Brighter version:

[whatisyourchildhoodtrauma]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 5.01 | "Buffy vs. Dracula"

[runningw-thewolves]

We all know about how Fenrir is supposed to kill Odin at Ragnarok. Thing is that this story has been the same since it was recorded back in the early 1000s, and myths aren’t supposed to remain the same. They are supposed to adapt to the times, have embellishments that apply to the modern day. So with that in mind, here is a modern retelling of Fenrir’s story, with embellishments to represent the struggle against oppression that minorities face, the fire to live when another group calls for your death or torture.

Fenrir was always an excitable puppy. He deeply loved his home, his family, and his life. He had parents who were willing to play with him at his level, as well as siblings who didn’t judge him for being a wolf pup. When Odin came and kidnapped the children - and he did kidnap them - Fenrir was traumatised deeply. His culture laid back in Jotunheim, and he was forcibly uprooted. He hoped, perhaps, he could still have his siblings. Jormungandr, at this point braver than Fenrir, tried to fight back and was thrown into the seas of Midgard. Hel, the quietest of the three, clung tight to Fenrir, and the wolf did what he could to protect her though, frankly, he was just as scared.

At the gates of Asgard, Fenrir was forced on to the Asgardian soil. He waited for Hel; she tried to exit the vessel but was held back. She tried to break free but found she was overpowered. Fenrir, the ever loving eldest brother, tried to jump to her aid; he too was held back. He watched, tears in his eyes, as Odin commanded for Hel to be banished to the darkest of the realms where should would never set foot on Asgard. Fenrir could only sit and watch as his sister cried and screamed for him, begging him to do something while he was also overpowered, robbed of agency to protect.

In Asgard, Fenrir was kept in a cage in the square of the kingdom. The cityfolk stared at him, gawked and gossiped. Fenrir had no shelter from the rain, the brittle snow and harsh cold, the howling winds, or even from the judging stare of others. One God, Tyr, noticed the wolf had not been fed and would likely die if not given a meal soon. He called a meeting with Odin, pleading on the Wolf’s behalf to free him, feed him, give him proper shelter. Odin took deep offense to this, and soon so did most of the Gods. The only one who sided with Tyr was the Wolf’s father, Loki.

After months of fighting, pleading and debating, Tyr approached the Wolf’s cage with a key and a collar. Tyr opened the door of the cage, sitting down as he gently held a hand forward for Fenrir to sniff. “Easy,” Tyr spoke softly, “I’m not gonna hurt you.” From his pocket, Tyr pulled out a slab of meat and placed it before the wolf. Fenrir was at first puzzled, suspicious; it didn’t smell poisoned, but how could he know for certain? Fortunately, hunger overrode him and he devoured the meat, barely chewing. Fenrir felt no pain, no illness came to him. Tyr smiled at him; “See? I don’t wanna hurt you.” The isolation crept up on Fenrir and he crawled to the God’s side, weeping into his clothing as the God stroked his matted fur.

Tyr took the wolf back to his halls, brushed out the matts in his fur, bathed him, tended to his wounds and provided plenty of food and water. Tyr secured land for the wolf to run around in, and provided comfortable bedding for the wolf to curl up on. When Fenrir was clean and satiated, Tyr explained the nature of the collar; “I was able to secure your freedom on the condition that you wear this. However, when you are in my halls, on my land, you will remain uncollared.” Preferring it over the cage, the pup agreed.

Fenrir became Tyr’s loyal companion, and the two grew close. The wolf came to see the God as a brother, and their love for one another caused something strange to happen; Fenrir grew rapidly under the affection of Tyr. So rapidly, in fact, that the space Tyr acquired soon was too small for the wolf. The cityfolk and the Gods protested in anger, and Odin called another meeting.

In this meeting, he scolded Tyr; “You asked for his freedom, and brought the threat straight into our home without restraint.” Tyr tried to argue in Defense of the Wolf, but the Gods outnumbered him. “Kill him!” One shouted. “Burn him!” Another roared. Odin could see that Tyr wouldn’t allow death to meet the wolf, so Odin hatched a plan to test Tyr’s loyalty and deal with the wolf.

Iron chains were brought to the wolf, and the Gods told him they wished to play a game to test his growth and strength. Tyr’s presence calmed the wolf, and so he agreed. The Gods bound him then stood back, smiling with triumph. Then the fetters broke. The terror was palpable; Tyr celebrated with the wolf.

Chains of the finest damascus were sought after and brought before the Wolf, the Gods asking another round of the game. Tyr’s growing concern wasn’t unnoticed by Fenrir, yet he agreed. He was eager to see his limits. Once more, the Gods smiled thinking they were triumphant until, after a fair struggle, the damascus finally caved in.

Odin sent for the finest dwarven craftsmen, begging them for a way to bind the wolf permanently. After some consideration, and a hefty price - for even the dwarves understood how grave and blasphemous an ask they were being demanded of - the dwarves agreed and sent Odin to collect the ingredients they would need. Once Odin returned from his travels with the ingredients in hand, the dwarves got to work. Within a month, the chains were completed. The dwarves warned Odin as he walked away; “What you have asked is an affront to nature. The chains will one day break; will you still be willing to pay the price then?” Odin paid them no mind.

The final fetters were shown to Fenrir. Only Odin smiled; the other Gods stared in horror, for why was the Allfather showing a ribbon to the wolf? Tyr’s terror was so strong that Fenrir could smell that something was up. Odin asked for another round; the wolf denied. “How am I to trust that what you ask is a fair game?” Odin, no stranger to lying, told the wolf; “Why would I challenge you if it was not fair?” The wolf did not buy it. The more the wolf refused, the more Odin fought back - and as he fought, the angrier he got. Tyr feared that Odin would hurt the wolf, and Fenrir knew. For Tyr, he relented. “I will only allow this if one of you is willing to risk your hand.”

This ask made the Gods freeze. Even Odin dare not speak; he had no need to. He watched as Tyr observed his allies. With a sigh, Tyr raised his hand. Fenrir was surprised; Tyr explained “If this is a fair game, then I have nothing to lose.” With that, the wolf was shackled and Tyr placed his hand inside the Wolf’s maw. At Odin’s word, Fenrir began his struggle. In an instant, boiling hot agony flooded his body as the fetter wound tighter with each thrash. Lost in the pain, Fenrir gritted his teeth and - in turn - took Tyr’s hand off. Tyr fell to the floor, screaming in agony while the Gods cheered. Furious, for him and his brother, Fenrir snapped at the Gods, desperate to protect Tyr. Odin took a sword and jammed it through Fenrir’s snout, pinning him to the ground. The Gods pulled Tyr away, as Tyr pleaded for release to comfort the whining Fenrir.

Fenrir was left alone, deep in a cavern in Asgard. Isolated, cold, pained, hungry, thirsty, tired, dirty. He waited years on end, until one day… the binds broke. Fenrir lifted his head from the ground, carefully removing the sword and spitting it to the ground. He did not move, instead curling up and allowing himself to lick his wounds and rest. Fenrir would spend the next few days hunting, discovering that a harsh winter had taken his food with the summer. In the cave, Fenrir considered everything. He pondered and contemplated, his eyes drifting to the chains.

When the Gods next saw Fenrir, Odin was dismayed to see him free. Then came the confusion; even Jormungandr and Loki stared. In the Wolf’s jaws were the binds that had bound him and the sword Odin had used on him. Fenrir came to a halt in front of Odin, gently dropping the items at Odin’s feet. Fenrir stared down the God; “You are truly pathetic to think I would sink to your depravity. You issued a challenge; you lost. Your fear and loss is enough for me. But next time, I will not be so merciful.”

If Ragnarok was to come, Fenrir decided it was not today, not at his hand. As he walked away, he paused by Tyr. Tyr fell to his knees, crying and begging the Wolf’s forgiveness. Fenrir looked back to the Gods; “Be grateful I have decided to spare you in hopes you’ll leave me be, instead of killing you all right now.” Turning to Tyr, the wolf frowned, his heart breaking seeing his brother. “When you are ready, brother, you know where to find me.” And with that, Fenrir left. He was tired and hungry; he had no tolerance for war today.