#cuz to be fair I only ever really engage in my writing when I’m actually drafting

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

trying this new thing where I try to be nice to myself for not writing whenever I want to or whenever I usually expect myself to write :)

[starcookiechu]

ROTT Review

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE. You have been warned.

FYI: I just finished the movie. So my opinions may change a bit but here I am writing a full review.

Before I talk about the movie, I have to say this movie has fantastic animation. The music is as good as usual.

Ok now the story. Let’s start with the our Trollhunters.

Fair Lady Claire. My girlie Claire really brought her all into this. I’m really proud of the young woman she has grown up into. However for the sake of the plot and story they make her run out of magic juice quite a bit. But my girl is still the best and gives it her all.

Wingman Domzalski. I will be perfectly honest. Toby is kind of the annoying best friend at times and bothers me as a plus size person. (They really push the over eating thing to the point that it’s his biggest factor.) Toby is a very eager kid who is ready to get in the action. Never being negative to his friend but the best emotional support who will always be at his side. Sure Toby was used a bit as comedic relief in the movie but when push comes to shove, Toby will always be there to do the right thing.

Blinky is amazing as always. One of the best father figures out there.

Aarrrgh was there. Was great for the scenes he was in, but all together didn’t do much that altered the story.

Our Trollhunter, Jim Lake Jr. Someone I admire and basically see as my little brother/child. Kiddo really did it. I know everyone is upset that Jim’s arc was redone when we had the “Unbecoming” episode. If I could come to a peaceful middle ground, I saw we all need to blame Merlin. He really rocked Jim’s world and self worth. When the creator of the object you need to save the world with tells you “You’re not enough”, it really can be a great setback. But once we past that, Jim really pulled through. Amulet or not, he is our Trollhunter.

Mommy Dr. Lake was there. Barbara was mostly there for our emotions.

Dilf Strickler. I felt that he was changed a bit since we last saw him, but he had a new purpose. He was more cautious and happy because he had a chance at a happy life with Barbara. Which makes what happens to him more upsetting. 

Nomura my sweet. This movie did not deserve you. At least she was with Draal.

And Not-Enrique (seriously why didn’t they ever give him an actual name) just wasn’t in the movie.

How about some CreepSlayers?

BABY ELI PEPPERJACK CAME BACK LOOKING SO CUTE. So proud.

Bumbling knight oaf Steve the Palchuckian was great as usual.

I will say though. The whole pregnancy plot was just a way to get Eli and Steve out of the way. I could feel that the writers maybe didn’t like Steve so much since Wizards. But Steve was once again someone to laugh at. Pregnant and out of the way.

How about some Akiridions?

Aja my darling girl, oh how you’ve grown. I understand some think she has changed. However I must say that her preparing a plan B on the side was smart. She isn’t just a princess on earth anymore. She is a queen on a distant planet. So if she thought evacuation was best, it would ensure that everyone would live. And avoid losing more valuable people from her life. So no, I can’t blame her.

DJ Kleb was there. He was kinda doin his own thing and messing with Steve. Brother-in-law stuff.

It was good to see Varvatos Vex.

Stu was the man in the background working on the busy important things like working on the amulet. Personally I feel like the series REALLY underutilizes Stu A LOT so I was so happy to see him being a part of something huge.

And finally some Wizards.

Douxie my love, you were amazing as usual. His powers have grown greatly and have contributed to the adventure. But god the writers really do love to take everything away from him don’t they. It’s unfair.

Archie was kinda just there and just... I understand leaving Douxie but that doesn’t mean I like it.

Nari the sweetest. I can only imagine the guilt she felt to end Nomura. Her self sacrifice was probably the one in the movie most called for.

Alright now I’ll talk about the movie.

I can whole heartedly say this movie was rushed. To be honest I feel like the original writers weren’t completely in this. At least it felt kind of not so much Trollhunters or 3Below vibes but more Wizards, if that makes sense whatsoever. Something is off.

I just want to blame Merlin for everything. To hell with that guy.

The beginning sequence was great. A car chase to a moving train. Which ends up with Toby of course screwing up and breaking the brakes. Of course. The train falling off the tracks which ultimately ends up with Nari gone. Oh yeah, and video recordings of Magic, trolls and being taken in by the police. Great.

WHY TF WAS TOBY TELLING THEIR STORY TO THE POLICE. YOU DON’T MIX THE POLICE IN STORIES UNLESS YOU KNOW THE COP PERSONALLY. CUZ IT’S A MESS AND THE POLICE GET IN THE WAY. GDI TOBY.

Our heroes go back to base on the new and improved Camelot. Where we discover that Barbara and Strickler are now engaged. Happy news and would secure that Jim has another Father figure in his life and his mother’s happiness. Which explains Strickler’s “stay behind” advice. Now he has a family to watch over. He must be careful and warns that Jim’s actions could cost so much that he might not be able to afford.

Enters our Majesty Aja and the new stud on the block, Eli. Dang I wish puberty hit me like that.Truck-kun strikes again. And also enters... the pregnancy thing. I will say, I didn’t mind it too much... at first. But there are complications. Steve is too young to be a father and dang 7 kisses?? I can’t help but feel like Aja should have mentioned that or it was a last minute plan to write out Steve and Eli. (Which it was.) It was funny sure cuz omegaverse and ALIENS but all together it’s really iffy.

They really had Douxie preform a body-swap spell only so it would be undone. And undoing the spell only hurt them both?? C’mon. C’mon.

And they mention the Krohnisfere. We’ll get back to it. Jim gets a brand new amulet infused with Akaridion tech. However theres an issue. It was created by Merlin right? Who is a wizard right? Who uses MAGIC. Shame Douxie wasn’t there to help make it. Ya know. 1/2 of the original creator of the AMULET. So it’s missing a huge part and for the sake of the plot, Jim doesn’t test the Amulet which is out of character personally.

Toby makes a silly big deal over a penny. I was actually hoping they would make it a silly Chekhov's gun later on. But no, it’s just Toby being loud and comedic relief.

The titans are released and we visit a very pregnant Steve. Ok so it’s a rushed kind of thing. ok.

Aja suggests evacuation. You can say it’s out of character but we need context. When Aja helped in the Doomsday Battle, she was ensured a way out but if she let the people of Arcadia perish. She decided to stay and help. But now the Trollhunter himself can’t help. So to ensure the survival of everyone, evacuation. A best chance for everyone to survive. Plus she is now a Queen. She rules over a whole planet which must change her thinking.

Now our characters are split into 3 teams:

Blinky, Archie, Archie’s dad and Claire for the Krohnisfere.

Jim, Aja, Toby, Strickler and Barbara for the Glacial Titan.

Nomura, Douxie and Aarrgh for the Earth Titan.

Now here is where I have problems. WHY. DID. THEY. SEND. TROLLS. TO. BRAZIL. IN. THE. DAY. Nomura dying was just so out of pocket. Unnecessary. I couldn’t even grieve properly I didn’t have a chance to process. The best thought I could think was “At least she’s with Draal now.” 10 seconds later, Strickler makes the choice to sacrifice himself. Because of Jim’s heroic’s, Strickler decided to try to save the most important people in his life. The person who was always dishonest finally had a chance to live a happy life with his family. The one who played it safe now had to make the final impulsive move. And unfortunately, his death was in vain. These deaths were just so forced. It wasn’t in any way good. And Strickler being one of the best written characters just going in such a way was just off. He died for nothing. He could have turned back and fought another battle but... no.

(BTW Barbara was just there... for Strickler’s death.)

We move to Babara and Jim having a heart to heart. I’m glad she didn’t blame Jim but a small moment of anger. Something a little more real for me but no I guess. Barbara will always just be Jim’s mom. She mention’s Jim’s father and it passed so quickly I missed it on my initial viewing. I’m happy that Jim’s father is never revealed or made a bigger part in his story. This is good representation for those of us who did have our fathers walk out on us. That we can grow despite our parents failing us.

And finally team Krohnisfere. Archie just leaves. He’s gone. Poor Douxie. A mentor and now his closest companion.

Our heroes meet up to go against the Volcanic Titan. In comes Varvatos Vex on a Gun Robot. Nice to see some good ol Gundam with a character mentioned throughout the entire trilogy. However it doesn’t last. BTW for the sake of survival, Aja leaves Jim and Toby. Iffy.

Douxie pulls a “Jason stop. This isn’t you.” thing with Nari and is reunited with his friend.(+ points for the shippers. It’s kinda winning me over?) Also, Claire now has the power to teleport a Titan. I know she’s much stronger than she was for the Trollhunters Sn 2 finale, but cmon. You can’t just say she’s out of magic juice and then pull this. C’mon.

(btw did the titan make a War of the Worlds tripod sound? No? Just me?)

Nari sacrifices herself and takes the other god with her. Which takes away Douxie’s other companion. Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good. Why does this movie hate Douxie so much. (I am so sorry shippers. Angst.)

BLINKY DIDN’T SEE A PAGE? ADDRESSING IT IN THE SHOW DOESN’T GIVE YOU A PASS. I forgot the word but this irony isn’t greatttt.

Jim now has to pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. But he can’t cuz he hasn’t harnessed the power of friendship.

And Steve is giving birth. At the worst time. What is this a zombie movie??? C’mon.

Jim says “Magic is friendship” And Stu is finally being used for one grand act. Seriously Stu is just so unappreciated. So he fixes the amulet with magic.

Basically everyone who went on top of the Volcanic titan falls off at some point. Except Jim cuz of course some 1v1. 

ONCE AGAIN Claire is out of magic juice. Because... reasons.

Toby makes the choice to race to Jim’s side with the technology to cancel out magic. (Wait how does science stop magic again)

BTW, For the Good of all doesn’t hit as well BUT it’s not mentioning any glory towards stinky Merlin so I am happy with the change.

JIM HAS A NEW TRANSFORMATION. MY BOY. MY SON. I’M SO PROUD.

Toby races to Jim and his helmet falls off the taco truck. That honestly should have been a huge warning sign. I was worried he didn’t have armor but we know how this goes.

Jim defeats the final titan and everyone is happy. The fight is finally over.

STEVE HAS 7 KIDS. OUCH. 

Seeing Jim run to Toby was heartbreaking. Now this is the one scene where the movie really let out actually process a character’s death. How on earth can you process your best friend, your most faithful companion dying. Jim goes through too much I swear to god.

Now let’s discuss the time travel plot. I honestly feel like they pulled some kind of Attack on Titan ending. The main character burdened with knowing the future and what could have been. And if everything is meant to be how it will be, destiny will reconnect them again. (Jlaire reincarnation AU???)

I’m actually ok with this ending. I understand people would want the time stone to return only a few minutes. But even then, the kiddos still have police records, so many people dead at the titan’s hands (or feet) and now the world knows about the existence of trolls thanks to the internet. In New York no less. And people are still dead.

We return the the beginning of everything, reflecting the “Unbecoming” episode.

(NGL I’m bothered that they didn’t do anything to stop Steve from bullying Eli, but Jim can’t do it. He’s saving it for Toby.)

And now finally, let’s discuss Toby becoming the Trollhunter. From the beginning, Toby never considered himself good enough to be the main star. Always the wingman, the 2nd best. Support. Now it was Toby’s turn to climb the ranks and be the Hero he’s always wanted to be. It’s Jim’s turn to live an easier high school life. I don’t doubt that he won’t follow Toby. But now he knows what to avoid and how to make the story process more smoothly.

I understand some are unsatisfied with this ending, which is kinda trademarked with Dreamwork’s shows. I get it. But honestly as of right now, I think I like the ending.

The amulet didn’t choose Jim because this Jim is not the same Jim as in Sn 1 Ep 1. He is a new man. And I think we all can agree that it’s his turn to be happy.

---

I still love this series so much. It is my favorite cartoon. Of course it has it’s flaws, but this ending is at least satisfactory and not heartbreaking. Now it’s up to us to either continue the story or contribute our ideas in fanfiction. I look forward to everyone’s creations.

Don’t think. Become.

[vaguely-concerned]

Any tips for a TF POV fic? I want to write one because I too went through a time in my life when I let feelings bounce off cuz that was easier, but I feel like that's not quite on point for him 🤔

God I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this and they’re all so wordless and frustratingly evasive to me yet (I am in the process of writing a looooooong T.F. POV fic and it gives me much more trouble than Graves POV, probably because as a person I’m quite a lot more like the T.F. Type in real life lol). But yes, here we go, let me try to express some of what I personally try to have as my hm ‘anchor points’ for his perspective. (Heavy disclaimer that these are just my personal & disorganized little musings and by no means the only or ‘correct’ way to read the character!)

- First of all I agree, the image of ‘bouncing off’ doesn’t feel quiteright -- it’s in the right neighbourhood but the wrong address sort of thing, but it’s really hard to come up with a way to explain how I feel the nuance here.

*insert three hours later spongebob meme here* Okay, so the metaphor I came up with is: T.F.’s relationship to emotions is a direct parallel to his relationship to water/the ocean: it’s scary down there, it’s dark, it’s dangerous, and if he should ever be dumb enough to try to go in too deep it’ll kill him dead because boy oh boy on so many levels this man just did not learn how to swim. As far as he’s concerned any sensible person would simply bob along on the surface in a sturdily built boat and try not to think too much about the weird shit that lives down there in the depths. (In this metaphor the layer of artifice and performance so habitual it’s basically integrated into the fabric of his soul is the boat. Y’know, the part that’s Twisted Fate and not just plain ol’ Tobias. I’ll hasten to add that I think both parts of his identity are equally ‘real’ and equally him, but the Twisted Fate part is like… protecting the Tobias part. Keeping him from drowning, as it were. I’m not sure he’d think of it like that himself for the longest time, though, I suspect he has more of a ‘that man is dead’ attitude towards the Tobias part after Graves is gone)

I think what I’m trying to get at is the idea that to him, raw emotion is as hostile and unknowable and unnavigable an ‘environment’ as the deep ocean. (And the only time we see him willingly go there, physically and otherwise, is for Graves, so you know let’s jot that down first of all lol.)

- He seems to genuinely quite like and be interested in people – how they think, what moves and motivates them, their secrets and foibles. So I tend to try to keep the uh ‘detail work’ in his POV focused in that direction. Priority going like 1) people 2) people’s valuables 3) the relative availability of people’s valuables at this moment if you have clever hands and a very charming smile haha

- One of my favourite things about T.F. is that he seems, I don’t know… quite genuinely good-natured beneath it all? If you back him into a corner some sharp and dangerous things peek out (he has survived in his line of heh ‘business’ for like thirty years, and a lot of it on his own), but for the most part and when unthreatened he has a sort of mildly amused and intrigued live-and-let-live attitude to the world even as he’s conning it that I find deeply charming. Which to me ties in with:

- T.F.’s first instinctive reaction to danger (perceived or real) the majority of the time seems to be ‘Flight’. Confrontation and violence are basically his ‘when literally everything else has failed’ options. (As seen prominently in Burning Tides, where he just keeps running and running and the only time he actually starts throwing punches is when he has to because Graves is in immediate danger and they’re backed into a corner. Which feels like it means something huh lol, I often think about what could actually make T.F. angry enough that he would openly express it and that seems to be the most likely angle for it in my eyes.)

- My take on one of the fundamental differences between Graves and T.F. is that Graves has A LOT of feelings but doesn’t quite know it (or more like can’t quite conceptualize it I should say) – he has a hard time identifying or finding vocabulary for feelings that aren’t some shade of anger. Meanwhile T.F. KNOWS he has feelings, he just doesn’t like it, ardently wishes he didn’t, and will do pretty much anything to run away and not have to engage with them haha.

Another important difference: when brought out of equilibrium Graves gets angry, and T.F. gets scared. I have the feeling that beneath it all he’s scared a lot, and it’s why his persona is so oriented towards gaining control in ways where people don’t realize it enough to even think try to take that control away from him until he’s already long gone. Misdirection as a way of life babEY

- This might be too deep in the ‘my WIP/process specific’ territory to really count as general analysis, but I think it’s there in canon too – there’s almost a feeling that he implicitly feels like he has to make up for some fundamental flaw or lack he has at the core? (Not a weird thing for him to end up feeling, considering what happened to him as a kid.) All the rest of him, all the cleverness and style and charm, is there to ‘make up’ for how at the end of the day he’s… wrong somehow. As Graves, who knows him better than anyone, focuses right in on, a coward. And that is CERTAINLY not the whole truth and even Graves in a full rage relents when he sees the effect the accusation has on him and once he gets the actual facts of what happened. But I think that sense of deep unworthiness is what’s stuck with him emotionally. His people left him because there’s something fundamentally lacking and immoral about him. He lost Graves because he’s not good enough, because he’s a coward who leaves people behind. He deserves to be alone. Mix in a ton of survivor’s guilt to taste, and I think you have the like… core emotional wound he’s constructed around.

There’s also something here about fear of profound powerlessness specifically in situations where words, generally his strongest card that’s not a literal card (har har har oh we do have fun here), simply don’t work right at the moment when he needs them to the most – he tried to beg for his people not to leave him behind, he tried to convince Graves to get the hell out with the rest of the crew… and it didn’t work. (In Burning Tides you see he’s given up even trying to explain himself, he just wants Out in whatever way leaves both him and Graves tolerably in one piece, even if he won’t be understood or heard or less alone afterwards. It takes him until like half way through the entire chase to even THINK about just telling Graves the truth. In all fairness to T.F. it probably wouldn’t have worked at that moment, but it does vaguely crack me up that he didn’t even consider it until all of Bilgewater harbor was already burning merrily behind them fhsajkfa)

- He has a little bit of a (perfectly justified considering his background honestly) chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to powerful or arrogant people. There seems to be a special satisfaction in outsmarting and robbing specifically rich assholes (which would also be the people who have the most to steal, so y’know good times all round). From his short stories and few places in his bio you almost get the feeling that he has a funny sort of Robin Hood-esque sense of lopsided justice about it. (Robin Hood-esque only so far as to define ‘the poor’ as the eternally hard-strapped ‘T.F. & Graves Waistcoats and Cigars Fund’, of course lol)

I think T.F. both has a mind that tends more towards analyzing the big picture and also has more direct experience with like… structural/systemic powerlessness and oppression. So the cons they pull are probably partly how he channels the emotions that arise out of that (and the rest he just represses, like the relatable guy he is haha)

- Graves being back would cause some IMMENSE internal conflict in him, I feel – of course all the feelings of relief and attachment and love, but also… so much of who he is now came about specifically to find a way to deal with Graves being gone, with seemingly just shutting down the entirety of his need for real human companionship or closeness for like a decade, things that are suddenly starting to be brought online again and must be tremendously stressful to deal with when you’ve had it completely suppressed and deadened for so long. He’s put so much into trying to be fundamentally unattached to anything, anywhere, anyone (and there are some things here about perpetually being an outsider his whole life that I can’t quite put into words, but that’s a dimension too.) That sort of psychological self defense mechanism doesn’t just contentedly nod its head and go away just because something good happened one time haha. Probably a work in progress there huh (at least he’s not alone in it now <3)

PLUS some bonus Graves POV observations because man. I love writing him, he’s just a marvel of a man

- I know I call him a dumbass all the time, but in a street smart way I think he’s actually quite clever haha, he just has a bad tendency to get hung up on an idea and get tunnel sight. (I’ve based this a lot on the short stories but see also more recently his Sentinel skin voice lines for good examples: he’s incredibly straightforward in that ‘well obviously if it doesn’t affect me personally I ain’t gonna give it that much thought’ way, but you also have glimpses of surprising insight/shrewdness and… I don’t quite know how to put it, but something like an ability to get to the bottom line of something without getting caught up in the details. (I suspect T.F. does find himself lost in the details quite frequently, he’s much more attached to the decorative curlicues of the world.) Graves clearly & frequently has no idea what’s going on, but he strips things down to the essentials very quick: Lucian’s story as a direct thematic mirror to Viego’s, Is There A Sun Lady – Oh, I See, all of this is weird and creepy and needs shooting, and maybe most crucial of all: Isolde doesn’t want to be with her husband anymore so what he’s doing is just like. Extra shitty. He gets what he needs to get and then just barges ahead heedlessly with that. Icon.)

- He’s actually pretty darn eloquent in a gruff sort of way and uses some quite sophisticated vocabulary! And the way this is contrasted with the tendency to slip into blunter coarser language just as readily -- like when he takes the time to describe the monster that takes down the Prince’s ship in such poetic terms as ‘gargantuan’ and ‘the behemoth’s immense, distended jaw’ and it having ‘pallid dead eyes the size of the moon’, and meanwhile during his swim at the beginning of the story we get bastard cold and bastard dark and full of bastard jellyfish and crabs – brings me such immense and unending delight

- He’s more eloquent in his internal voice than he is when speaking (especially noticeable in Destiny and Fate; he does have a tendency to fumble his words when talking lol), and he gets quite easily lost in his own meandering reflective musings in a way I find incredibly endearing. I’d almost call it whimsical at times, honestly, hilarious as that is? Like when he’s literally so absorbed in a line of thought he forgets which way they’re rowing and T.F. has to remind him. (I think T.F. generally has more of a grip of what’s going on around them than Graves does lol)

- There’s an important distinction to be made that Graves actually does, by and large, read T.F: very closely and seemingly also pretty damn accurately. He’s good at (and clearly very interested in) reading his moods, spotting what tactics he’s using interpersonally, when he’s being genuine and when he’s being dissembling.

What Graves is actually bad at is understanding his own emotions, and to not bleed those emotions into other people’s motivations and behavior, especially when he’s upset or in heightened states of feeling, like he is all the way through Burning Tides. He can only name his own feelings in a vocabulary of anger, when it’s pretty clear from the subtext that there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on there, and he has incredible trouble divorcing those feelings from what other people’s got going on with them right then. He feels hurt, betrayed, and undone by everything that’s happened to him, so the intention to hurt, betray and undo must live in the other person who he feels caused it. In less drastic cases you see him do this a bit when he feels like T.F. is being evasive with him – taking it as a form of rejection rather than realizing T.F. is just lost in his own thoughts, sort of thing. There’s a real improvement in this one between Burning Tides and Destiny and Fate, though, so maybe he’ll have an easier time of it with some time and practice.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this and that it’s a bit of a rambling mess, words have been real hard recently. Or rather I have too many words, all the time, left and right, I just can’t put them into the right orders to make any sense hahaha, I hope there’s some useful point in this somewhere for you at least!

[astrologista]

jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!! 

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

[lisatelramor]

Truth and Lies

I’ve wanted to write something for FF15 since I started playing the game and reading fic, but hadn’t had any ideas my brain latched onto. So here, finally, is something it deigned to write. @vulcansdarkest, hope you enjoy <3 (It’s not detective!Ignis, but it is Ignis-centric ^_^ ) To everyone in quarantine or living their lives, hope you can keep safe! 

***

“I’m bored,” Noctis groaned, flat on his back in the tent. It was raining outside as it had been all evening. Ordinarily, this would mean a round of King’s Knight, but their phones were on the last dregs of battery life after days of hiking in the wilderness. Their second-best option would have been a card game, but a mishap during one of Noctis’s fishing marathons had taken away that option.

“Read a book,” Gladio said, tossing one of his paperbacks at Noctis’s head.

“Ow! Not all of us are into whatever historical epic-romantic whatever you’re reading at the moment,” Noctis grumbled tossing the book into the Armiger.

Ignis was about to suggest Noctis help go over their inventory and funds if he had such a dire need to keep himself engaged when Prompto sat bolt upright with a wide grin.

“Ooh, I got an idea!” He pulled something out of the Armiger and set it on the tent floor with a soft thump. “Ta-dah! We could play a drinking game!”

“Prompto,” Ignis said looking over the bottle of high proof vodka he’d pulled out. “Where did you get the funds for that?”

“Psh, I didn’t raid our budget, Iggy,” Prompto said with a wave of his hand. “I sold off some bits and bobs I collected a while back. Sometimes you can find neat stuff near all those fishing spots. I figured it might be nice to relax and have a drink once in a while.”

“I’m not sure we can really afford a night of drunken revelry,” Ignis said, though it was tempting. They’d been working hard lately, pulling hunt after hunt to gather up a better buffer of money. And when they weren’t doing that, they were looking for any hint of a royal tomb around them. It was wearing them ragged even when they weren’t roughing it camping for over a week straight.

“Please?” Prompto asked with the puppy eyes that were far more effective on all of them than they would ever admit to Prompto lest he abuse them. “It doesn’t have to be drunk-drunk, just like, a few shots?”

Gladio examined the bottle. “Vodka’s crap, but you got a less shitty brand so, sure, sign me up. Noct?”

“Sounds better than staring at the tent ceiling,” Noctis said.

Outnumbered three to one, Ignis sighed. “Very well, but we’re not drinking straight vodka.” He had a can or two of fruit juice in the Armiger to water it down with.

“Yes!” Prompto did a little seated dance. “Ok, what’re we playing? Never have I ever? Buzz? Most likely?”

“Dude do you just have a list of drinking games you want to play?” Noctis asked.

“Uh, maybe if you’d have come to one of the parties in school you’d recognize them.”

“Yeah, that was never going to happen back then and you know it.”

Prompto pouted and Ignis and Gladio exchanged an amused look. Ignis pulled out juice and a carafe and started mixing the alcohol. “Well it’s not like we can do the games with other props,” Prompto said after a moment. “No cards. No cups and balls for beer pong. Not drunk enough for the games like Thump.”

“I can’t even remotely imagine what any of those games are with names like that,” Noctis said with a yawn. “Hey Ignis, what game do you think?”

“Well, considering there’s only four of us and we don’t have props, games like never have I ever are probably the better choice. Although given how many shared experiences we have here…” Everyone grimaced. Between growing up together in the citadel to running around all of Lucis on this trip, Prompto would likely get them all drunk very fast on the sheer principle that he had more unique personal experiences that the rest of them lacked. But a game that involved talking was more or less a given. “How about… two truths and a lie?”

“Not truth or dare?” Prompto asked.

Ignis gave him a look. “With everyone’s competitive streak and magic to fuel drunken shenanigans, I think not introducing the possibility of wild dares is the best option.”

“Ok, yeah, fair enough.”

Ignis still remembered a memorable occasion where Noctis got stuck on a roof when he was still new to warping thanks to one of Gladio’s dares. They were not going that route. “Besides, two truths and a lie will be a good test to see how well we actually know each other.”

Prompto sighed. “Dude, you guys all grew up together. Kinda rigged.”

“And yet we have very little knowledge of your life,” Ignis countered. “So if any of us has an advantage, it’s Noctis for knowing all of us.”

“Ooh, good point. Guess it works in the name of bonding.” Prompto grinned. “Gonna know you guys better than I know myself at the end of this trip.”

“Quite.” This hadn’t been what any of them expected when they left but leave it to Prompto to find a glimmer of brightness in the mess. “Here’s how we’ll play: we each have a cup, no more than two helpings of the drink to work with, and will take turns telling various facts and lies while the next person in the circle guesses which was the truth or lie. If they guess wrong, they take a drink, if they guess right, the person whose turn it was takes a drink. When you run out of alcohol, you’re out of the game. Does this seem fair?”

“Geeze, Iggy, that’s a lot of rules for a drinking game,” Prompto says. “But sure, sounds great, gimme the booze!”

Ignis rolled his eyes and handed around glasses of vodka mixture.

Gladio sniffed it. “Smells more like juice than vodka.”

“The point is not to have a debilitating hangover tomorrow,” Ignis said drily.

“Ok, but those two are lightweights and I have an iron liver.”

Ignis rolled his eyes again and added a shot to Gladio’s cup. “Is that satisfactory?”

Gladio grinned. “Yeah, that’s a bit more like it. Now who goes first?”

“Specs,” Noctis said, sniffing his own cup with a wrinkle of his nose. “Since you chose the game.”

“Very well.” Ignis sat in their loose circle. Two truths and a lie… “I speak six languages, I stabbed a man when I was five, and I can do a backflip in heels.” He looked pointedly to his left at Prompto.

“Damn, starting things out on hard mode,” Prompto said with a grimace. “Uh… The flip in heels is the lie?”

Ignis smirked.

“Aw man.” Prompto took a drink. He at least didn’t seem to dislike the taste. “Wait, you can do a flip in high heels?” A beat. “You’ve worn high heels?”

Ignis kept smirking.

“Iggy!” Prompto groaned. “What was the lie?”

“He only speaks three languages,” Gladio said. “He can read six. I don’t remember you stabbing anyone when you were five though.”

“It was an accident learning how to use daggers.” Ignis’s lips tilted into a real smile. “I never said I stabbed someone purposefully.”

“None of you are surprised by the heels?” Prompto asked.

Noctis and Gladio exchange a look. “A bet,” they said in unison. “Though only Ignis would take it as a challenge to master movement in high heels in general,” Noctis added.

“One never knows if that skill might be useful,” Ignis said. He wasn’t exactly going to admit that he’d liked how they’d accentuated his legs.

“The more ya know,” Prompto said. “Okay. My turn! Uh, lesse…” He tapped his cup absently. “My first kiss was with Jessia from eighth grade, I love cucumbers, and I have a whole USB filled with nothing but dog pictures.”

Noctis pointed at Prompto. “The first kiss is the lie.”

“Bzzzt,” Prompto said.

“What? You’d have told me if you’d had your first kiss!”

“Dude, I had it before we were friends. Also, like, it went horribly and she never talked to me again so I don’t really bring it up much.”

“Wait, so either you don’t have a USB of dog photos—which you totally do—or you secretly hate cucumbers? I thought you liked vegetables.”

“I eat healthy cuz it’s healthy not cuz I like all of it,” Prompto said. “You should try it.”

“Pass.”

Ignis made a mental note to avoid giving Prompto anything with cucumber in the future. “Drink up, Noct,” Ignis said when Noctis kept giving Prompto a look like he’d just destroyed one of the pillars of his understanding.

Noctis rolled his eyes and took a swig. “Whatever. Ok, Gladio. My favorite character in King’s Knight is Toby, I once pet a cat that had ten toes on each paw, and I caught a two-headed fish one time.”

Gladio raised an eyebrow. “That’s not even hard. You’d have talked our ears off if you caught a two-headed fish.”

“Eh, fair enough.” Noctis took another swallow of his drink.

“You just want to get drunk, don’t you?” Gladio said, amused. “My turn. I can bench a hundred and twenty kilos, on one of my camping trips I hiked forty kilometers in one day, and I once ate eight cup noodles in one sitting.”

Ignis hummed, turning the numbers over in his head.

“You know,” Prompto said, “I honestly would believe all of those actually happened. You’re not normal.”

Gladio snorted. “Thanks for the backhanded compliment.”

“You’re welcome.”

“The hiking one is a lie,” Ignis said after a moment. “I know your average bench press numbers and I remember you trying to prove something stupid with how many cup noodles you could eat in one sitting—and definitely remember you throwing them back up.”

“Worth it.”

“So the hiking distance has to be the lie.”

“You would logic it out,” Gladio said, snickering. “Yeah, you win.” He took a drink. “Your turn again Iggy.”

“Wait wait wait,” Prompto said. “I’m not going to have to guess Ignis every time am I? He’s like, way too good at deadpan for that.”

“Hmm, you have a point,” Ignis said. “Noctis and I can swap positions this next round and then you can swap with Gladio and by alternating like that we can keep things fair.”

“You’re making this way too complicated,” Noctis said, but he obligingly swapped places in the circle with Ignis.

“It makes things more interesting,” Ignis countered with a sharp grin. He had every intention of playing this game to win—by which he meant he intended to stay as sober as possible while watching his friends fall into drunken antics.

“Whatever, just get on with it,” Noctis said with a sigh.

Ignis glanced at Gladio. Gladio was privy to far more of Ignis’s private life than perhaps anyone in part because while he couldn’t always talk to Noctis—because friend or not, there were still the occasional professional boundary lines—Gladio was someone who shared a responsibility in caring for Noct and as such someone who could commiserate over some of the worse aspects of their prince’s personality. Still, he didn’t know everything about Ignis’s life. “My favorite knives are a gift from my uncle, I’ve always loved the taste of Ebony…” He pretended to put an extra second of thought into this, like he was hesitating over a lie. “One of my earliest memories is of reading a book.”

He could see Gladio labeling the knife fact as truth; Ignis hadn’t been subtle about his preferred weapon choice in combat and the topic had come up before. But Ignis was also banking on Gladio’s association of Ignis and Ebony; he’d been drinking some form of coffee since his early teenage years, and for as long as he and Gladio had any significant interaction.

“As hilarious as the idea of baby-Iggy reading is, I’m calling that out as a lie,” he said after a moment.

Ignis smiled triumphantly. “While not my earliest memory, I was reading full sentences by the age of three, so yes, it is one of my earliest memories. I actually detested Ebony the first time I tasted it and poured the can down the drain. It was only the lure of caffeine that ever got me to pick up another can.”

“No kidding.” Gladio didn’t look the least upset by guessing wrong, but he was probably happy enough to be ingesting some alcohol. “Sometimes I think you pretty much run on the stuff like the Regalia does gasoline.”

Ignis snorted. “It’s not an inaccurate assumption.” Thank goodness for caffeine for his overworked, frequently sleep deprived body.

Gladio took a larger-than-necessary swallow from his cup. “Right. So. I ran away from home when I was six, I tried to give Iris away when she was first born because she kept crying, and I can’t float when I swim.”

Noctis frowned. “I’m pretty sure everyone can float. That’s swimming 101.”

“Take a drink because I can’t.” Gladio grinned, then grimaced. “It’s actually a downside to muscle. It’s dense as hell and sinks more than my lung capacity can make me float. I can swim just fine, but it’s kind of hell trying to tread water for long.”

“Huh. You learn something every day,” Noctis said taking a drink.

“Did you really try to give Iris away?” Prompto asked. “Because I can’t see it.”

“No. I mean I was tempted because she was the worst, colicky baby ever but I was old enough that I wasn’t that impulsive.” Gladio picked at the edge of his cup. “Now if I was a couple years younger at the time…”

“I remember hearing your dad complaining to my dad,” Noctis said. “She was only quiet when she was asleep and even then that was almost never the first month.”

“Yeah, I feel so lucky she grew out of that.”

“Noctis’s turn!” Prompto chirped. “Go easy on me, buddy.”

“You wish,” Noctis said, sticking his tongue out at him. “Okay. I’ve killed every plant I’ve tried to grow, I broke three priceless vases as a kid and told no one, and I set Iggy’s first boyfriend on fire once.”

“Noctis Lucis Caelum!” Ignis said, scandalized and more than a little annoyed. “That was you?!” Ignis had been dumped very soon after that incident.

“That guy was a jerk,” Noctis said.

“I could have dumped him myself instead of the indignity of it being the other way around!”

“Uh,” said Prompto. “I’m guessing that’s not the lie.”

Ignis huffed, and Noctis waited.

“Plants are the lie?” Prompto said tentatively trying to steer things back toward the game.

“Nope. Actually it was Gladio that set the guy on fire.”

“Way to throw a man under a bus, Noct,” Gladio grumbled. He held up his hands when Ignis turned his glare on him. “Hey, he’s right. The guy was a dick.”

“Gladiolus!”

Gladio leaned a bit away from Ignis, a sheepish grin on his face. “I mean, no one got permanently injured.”

“Which of you ran off my next boyfriend, then?” Ignis demanded. Neither of them met his eyes.

“Uh,” Prompto said again into the tense silence. “So… Iggy, you like dudes?”

And Ignis had the horrifying realization that Prompto didn’t know.

“Oh shit,” Noctis said. “Uh, sorry Specs…”

“It’s fine,” Ignis said, hoping that it actually was fine and this revelation hadn’t just made their current close-quarters living arrangements strained. He’d forgotten for a moment, too comfortable with Noctis and Gladio being in the know, that not all of his friends actually had the knowledge that he was more interested in men than women.

“No, hey!” Prompto waved his hands frantically. “It’s cool, I’m fine with it, shit, I wasn’t trying to make things weird!”

“Prompto…” Ignis took a breath. “If this is—”

“My turn next,” Prompto blurted over him and Ignis frowned, trying to cut in only to have Prompto keep talking over him. “I’ve only kissed girls,” he said, which stung a bit considering what was just revealed, “I’m bi,” oh, “and I’ve never, uh, never had a crush on anyone here,” Prompto finished, his confidence draining into nerves. There was a faint blush on his face.

“Prompto,” Ignis said softly, “you didn’t have to do that.”

“What, continue the game?” he said with a forced smile. “Uh yeah I did, we still have booze so…” His gaze pleaded for Ignis to play along.

And Ignis couldn’t refuse considering his friend had chosen to out himself just to make Ignis feel less uncomfortable. “I take it the last one wasn’t a lie,” he said gently.

“You got me there.” Prompto took a large swallow of his drink. His cheeks were pink and he couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes.

“Shit,” Noctis mumbled. “…I wasn’t trying to make this real, I just wanted to tease Ignis.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Full disclosure, you’re not the only one who’s had a crush on someone here, Prom.”

Prompto’s jaw dropped. “Wait, is Gladio the only one here that’s straight?”

Gladio snorted. “I mean I’m mostly straight,” Gladio said. “But if we were playing a game of never-have-I-ever, the only one of us who wouldn’t drink to having a crush on Ignis is Ignis.”

Ignis went bright red.

“There was more than one reason we didn’t think your boyfriends were good enough,” Gladio said with a snort of laughter.

“…Did either of you approve of any of them?”

“Uh, the one Glaive was okay but…”

Noctis finished for him, “You weren’t into him half as much as he was into you.”

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose. He was going to have to reevaluate so many previous interactions with a new perspective.

“Wait, Prompto, is that why you keep taking ass shots of Gladio?” Noctis asked.

Prompto sputtered. “I do not take ass shots! Of anyone!”

Gladio laughed. “Uh, hate to break it to you but you kind of do. Don’t worry, I don’t mind.”

“You take ass pics of Gladio, Ignis whenever he’s doing acrobatics, and usually half of what you take of me is mid-warp.”

“That’s just because you’re always warping, Noct,” Prompto said, settling into an embarrassed pout. “And Iggy’s usually doing backflips or setting something on fire like a boss so…” His shoulders hunched. “Also Gladio’s always rushing in so of course I get pictures from behind in battle.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Noctis said with a shit eating grin.

“Well,” Ignis said, feeling vaguely uncomfortable and ready to finish the game, “I think we’ve learned enough about each other for one night.”

“No, no,” Gladio said. “Prompto’s right. We still have booze. Also you and Noct haven’t interacted yet and I haven’t traded lies with Prompto.” He swished his cup around. “Besides, we’re still bored. Scared you’ll get embarrassed more?” he teased.

Ignis rolled his eyes. “Not at all.” It was just that if things continued along the current lines of affairs things could get complicated in ways that their trip didn’t allow for. From the way Gladio gave him a teasing eyebrow wiggle, he was thinking along the same lines without considering the fallout. He sighed. Ignis was not going to let things run in even more flirtatious directions thank you very much. “Noct.” Coming up with something for Noctis was about as hard as Gladio. On the one hand, Noctis could be unobservant. On the other, when he did use his powers of observation, they were uncannily accurate and stuck in his memory. “I choose to keep my accent,” he said after a moment of thought, “I had tutors before I was chosen to train to be your chamberlain, and I hated cooking when I first started learning.”

Noctis frowned. “I could see you keeping the accent because you like it and it reminds you of home. I know nothing of your life before you came to the Citadel more or less, and knowing you you’re probably banking on that. So, weird as it is to think of you hating cooking, I’m calling the second one a lie.”

Ignis smiled ruefully. It figured that he’d apply logic to it. “You’re correct.” He took a swallow of his drink and was pleased at its flavor, the alcohol a faint aftertaste on his tongue.

“If you didn’t like cooking, why’d you stick with it?” Prompto asked.

“Because it’s a useful skill,” Ignis said. “Knowing it is an important life skill as well as useful for caring for others; it was non-negotiable to learn. It just took a bit of a learning curve to get good enough at it that it wasn’t troublesome. Once I started looking at it as a puzzle made of ingredients it was a lot more enjoyable.”

“You know, you’re allowed to like or dislike something based on other things than usefulness,” Noctis said with a slight edge to his voice like he was somewhere along the lines of sad and exasperated.

Ignis, of course, knew that. But when growing up with a large job to fill, there had never been much room for non-useful things. Even his hobbies were chosen to be practical. “I can also enjoy things that also happen to be practical,” he pointed out. He liked languages. And while he couldn’t say he liked cleaning, it gave him a sense of satisfaction. Cooking was similar. These days it was one part puzzle, one part challenge, and the satisfaction of an end result. Baking on the other hand… “I do enjoy baking though.”

“Oh?” Noctis said.

Ignis smiled. He’d started because he’d hoped to make Noctis smile. And every time Noct ate one of his desserts and looked a bit happier, it had made Ignis happy. “I’d have to to make the same dessert over and over with slight changes for years.”

“Wow, that almost sounds like you’re accusing me of something,” Noctis joked.

“Accuse? Never,” Ignis said, grinning back. “I am surprised you never got sick of me trying though.”

“They were good,” Noctis said. “Even the worst of the failures. And they were…”

“They were?”

Noctis looked faintly embarrassed. “They were part of how you showed you cared so… it meant a lot.”

More than the cleaning and cooking or giving condensed reports ever did if Noctis’s embarrassment meant anything.

“And this is getting weirdly emotional,” Gladio cut in. “I know Noct drank a bit, but you only took a sip.”

Ignis rolled his eyes. “It’s reminiscing and nostalgia, Gladio.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” Gladio gave him a look that had Ignis blushing slight enough that hopefully no one would notice. “Anyway, Noct, either you go or I’m going next.”

“Fine.” Noctis drummed his fingers for a moment. “I like traveling and helping people out. I don’t like how crowded we are. I sometimes wish that things could always be this simple.”

Ignis had the strong desire to give Noctis a hug, like he’d done when they were children. There was vulnerability and defensiveness warring under his attempted nonchalance and if they still had the sort of uncomplicated relationship that children had, he’d already have Noctis in an embrace. But they were adults and Noct might accept side hugs and slaps on the shoulder from Prompto and Gladio, there had been a wall of propriety between him and Ignis for a while. A wall that he should really start to take down. Propriety was pointless when there wasn’t anyone left who would care.

“The second one is a lie,” Ignis said softly.

Noctis smiled, lopsided. “Yeah.” He took a drink.

“Aw, we like crowding you too,” Prompto said, nudging Noctis with an elbow. “I mean, sometimes a little privacy would be nice, but honestly you can’t feel lonely like this and that’s been good.”

Left to their own devices they weren’t the sorts to spend every waking moment with another person, but they had been spending more or less that for months now. Ignis, if asked before their trip started, would have thought that they’d have gotten on their last nerve at some point or another, but they hadn’t. There was quiet, introspective time on car rides, or brief moments at havens to break away from the group and have a private moment, but surprisingly they hadn’t needed more than that so far. It was almost nice if Ignis didn’t think about the circumstances. And for Noctis who had never really had enough time to spend with friends with his busy life… Well, Ignis, having a busy life of his own, could more than understand why the lifestyle they’d been living appealed.

“We can’t forget our purpose though,” Gladio pointed out.

“Dude,” Prompto said, “I don’t think any of us could no matter how many fetch quests people send us on.”

“I’m just saying,” Gladio grumbled.

“And I’m just saying that tonight’s time to not think about the things that are always looming over us,” Prompto said, pushing back more than he normally would. “Please? Like we’re all strung out, that’s why we gotta relax and recharge sometimes or we’ll just burn out.”

Gladio rubbed a hand down his face and took a drink even though it wasn’t part of the game. “Yeah.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Noctis added in a quiet voice. “I promise.”

“We’re really missing the point to this game,” Prompto said with a sigh. “Getting too real, guys. On that note, Gladio—Two truths and a lie. I’ve always wanted a pet, I bought my first camera with allowance money, and I am naturally a morning person.”

Gladio took a second to switch gears but when he did he relaxed in a very deliberate looking manner. “Well considering how you go on about chocobos, I wouldn’t be surprised if you always wanted one as a pet. And how you’re friends with Sleeping Beauty over there, it’s a mystery because you don’t need coffee in the morning like Ignis and you don’t sleep in like Noct. So, how’d you actually get your first camera?”

“I bought it with money from a part time job,” Prompto said after taking a drink. “Technically I had a phone camera before, but I was kind of frustrated at the limitations and after taking a photography class… Yeah, I was hooked.” He smiled. “So I saved up and bought this beauty,” Prompto said patting his camera. “It’s not like high end, but with multiple lenses and filters and a hella good zoom, it’s a pretty dang good first camera, you know?”

“I commend your work ethic,” Ignis said, though Prompto’s work ethic had always been good, even if he and Noctis were enablers in indulging in their gaming interests at the expense of other tasks at times. Prompto had gotten decent grades his whole life, and worked from no prior combat knowledge to full-fledged Crownsguard, pulling his own weight on this trip purely because he cared for Noctis. It wasn’t really surprising that he’d seen the goal of a nice camera and put the effort into getting it.

“Thanks, Iggy,” Prompto said with a pleased grin.

“Now if only Noct had a bit more of that,” Gladio joked.

“Of all of us, I think Prompto and I have the best work-life balance,” Noctis shot back.

“Besides,” Ignis added, “Noctis is hardworking. Unfortunately he just has a tendency to drop less pressing tasks in favor of immediate ones.”

“Is this about not sewing the button back on my shirt? Because I’m going to sew the button back on my shirt.”

“I’ve actually been impressed by how much help you’ve been with tasks like dishes and laundry,” Ignis said, a bit mean to do, but it was a sore point between them. Then again, Noctis was more likely to drop what he was doing and help than Gladio. Prompto was fine if given directions at least. Goodness knew Ignis couldn’t run every minutia of their lives no matter how much he wanted to.

Noctis groaned. “You’re never going to let high school go are you?”

Ignis smiled. “If it was only high school, I would.”

“He’s got you there, dude,” Prompto said. “You’re kind of a trash master when you get distracted.”

Distracted being anything from work, to a gaming binge, to one of Noctis’s occasional depressive episodes. Ignis was sympathetic to the latter and exasperated by the former.

“It’s Gladio’s turn,” Noctis said pointedly turning the conversation away from himself.

“Fine,” he sighed. “I am a dog person, I kill houseplants no matter how I try to keep them alive, and I kind of wish I’d gone to college.”

Prompto squinted at him. “This is the sort of thing I was worried about playing this. I have no idea which of those is a lie.”

“Guess,” Gladio said unhelpfully.

“Plants?” Prompto asked more than stated.

“Bzzt. I’m not a dog person. They’re cute and all but they’re high maintenance compared to cats.”

“Harsh, dogs are great,” Prompto said taking a drink. “They’re loyal and hard working. Don’t get me wrong, cats are adorable, but they’d abandon you for a sardine.”

“Lies and slander,” Noctis said.

“Dude, they’re super picky and you fall for their begging every time.”

“You feed every dog that looks your direction,” Noctis countered.

“Uh, no, we’ve seen like three dogs and one of those is Dave’s. You’re the one busting out super expensive cat food. Anyway, we can all agree chocobos are best.”

Noctis laughed. “I think it’s just you there.”

“Nah, chocobos are more useful and better fighters than either of them,” Gladio said, “so they win in my book too.”

“Why didn’t you attend university?” Ignis asked.

“You think I’d have had the time? I don’t know how you did it, honestly. I had my plate full learning everything I needed to protect Noct.”

Ignis could see a small, guilty twitch from Noctis. Ignis’s own university years had been…hmm, eventful. And the largest reason for his caffeine addiction. “Out of curiosity, what would you have studied?”

Gladio shrugged. “I dunno. I like history, and some of the stuff I’ve talked with Sania about’s pretty cool.”

“Oh yeah, you are friends with her aren’t you?” Prompto said. “Are frogs really that exciting?”

“Okay, the frogs are just one of the things she studies,” Gladio said. “Her greater research is on wildlife in general and you’d know that if you listened to what she said when we help her that she’s been looking into the change in daylight and the increase in scourge infected wildlife—”

“Holy shit have you been hiding a nerdy side this whole time?” Prompto said with the expression of a man who’d just witnessed something life changing. “Gladio, are you a science nerd under all that muscle?”

Gladio frowned. “Could you not say it like that? Also, I haven’t been hiding anything. I already know a lot about physiology from training, and nature is a thing I clearly enjoy as you guys love to complain about how I like camping. At least one of the books I’ve read on this trip was Sania’s research.”

“Well shit, man.” Prompto downed the rest of his drink. “The more you know. I think we all learned something today.” He blinked. “I should not have drank that all at once.”

Noctis laughed. “So we’re all on board to just drink now, huh?” He took a pointed swallow of his drink. “Might as well.”

“Really?” Ignis sighed.

“Eh, let ‘em,” Gladio said, taking a drink from his own cup. “As you guys keep saying, we’re trying to relax. Besides we were getting nowhere fast with the game.”

“That’s the point,” Ignis said. “To not get drunk.”

“They can’t get that drunk,” Gladio pointed out. “You made sure of it.”

Ignis pursed his lips, but Noctis and Prompto were elbowing each other and laughing and no one was going to end up so inebriated they were hung over the next day. It was almost like back in Insomnia…

Gladio slung an arm around him. “Don’t think too hard.”

“I am trying not to but…” They hadn’t really given themselves any proper time to grieve had they? One moment they were watching Insomnia burn and the next they were throwing themselves into seeking out royal arms and helping random strangers and going on hunts with barely any time to breathe because if they relaxed too much it might all fall apart. Ignis was used to setting how he felt aside, and so were the rest of them, but that didn’t necessarily make it healthy. Noctis and Prompto could laugh like this, so they would be okay. But sometimes Ignis wondered if he would be. That if he ever stopped he’d pull himself back together again.

“Drink if you think it’ll help,” Gladio said softly under the shriek of Noctis engaging Prompto to an impromptu tickling fight. “If you think it’ll be worse, leave it. Be in the moment, not the past.”

“I know that,” Ignis said. “I have been.” But the game had been about the past. On automatic, he saved the alcohol from getting spilled all over the tent floor as the tickle fight got wilder. Gladio gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“How about we team up against them, hmm?” Gladio offered.

Ignis pushed the mess of feelings back to deal with another day and managed a smile that almost reached his usual standards. “Would that be fair?”

“Anything’s fair in a tickling fight,” Gladio said. “Noct or Prompto first?”

“Noctis; Prompto is easier to subdue.”

“I’ll get his arms.”

“And I’ll handle his feet.”

Noctis and Prompto jumped when they entered the fight and Noctis yelped as Gladio caught him and Ignis exploited his weak points until he was gasping. Prompto laughed at his misfortune. At least until Ignis and Gladio shared a glance and turned to him, leaving Noctis to recover.

Later, much later, after more alcohol and Gladio ultimately emerging the victor of the tickle fight—he was only ticklish on his neck and that was hard to reach even when he wasn’t guarding it—they collapsed into a comfortable pile of bodies, curled up around each other, propriety and personal space be damned. They needed this, Ignis thought hazily on the edge of sleep. The laughter. The contact. The reassurance that they were still friends and close even after—or perhaps because of—everything that had happened.

“I haven’t done something like this in ages,” Gladio said, breaking the silence. “Not since… Hell, I don’t know. When I was a teenager?”

“Same,” Noctis said.

“Do our elbow fights over racing games not count?” Prompto asked. “Because we did that less than a year ago.”

“Yeah, but that’s… different,” Noctis muttered. “For one, Ignis joined in this time.” He lifted himself on one elbow long enough to fake-scowl in Ignis’s direction. “You’re brutal, by the way.”

Ignis laughed and had to stifle it on the nearest surface, which happened to be Noct’s thigh. When the laughter ran out though, he felt a bit drained, happy and sad at the same time. “I don’t think I’ve let go quite this much before.”

“Eighteenth birthday?” Gladio countered.

“Mm, but not everyone here was present for that.” And it hadn’t ended in a cuddle-pile on the ground. This was much better and would hopefully have less hangover-induced nausea the next morning.

“Well we’re all here now,” Noctis said, and like that was all that needed to be said, they went quiet, just the soft sounds of breathing and the occasional shift of limbs as they got comfortable.

Ignis ended up with Prompto’s head on his stomach and his own in Noctis’s lap. Gladio was both Noctis’s pillow and a heat source in how he managed to curl around Noctis and half of Prompto in the process. They were all going to wake up with limbs asleep and cricks in their necks, but for the moment it was all terribly comfortable.

Ignis drifted, letting the familiar sounds of his friends existing lure him toward sleep.

He was almost there when Prompto shifted against his chest.

“Ignis?” Prompto whispered, easily heard above the whistle-y start of Gladio’s snores and Noctis’s softer breathing.

“Mm?” When Prompto was silent, Ignis let a hand curl against his back, reassuring.

Prompto breathed out, relaxing minutely. “Do you think we’ll do this again someday?”

Ignis hummed. They didn’t have much downtime, though playing games happened when they did, but he knew that wasn’t what Prompto meant. They’d all shared parts of themselves tonight and boundaries had been crossed in other ways too, or they wouldn’t be curled up like this. But would it last beyond the morning?

Altissia loomed in their future and Ignis, for all that he would be glad to reach the city safely, equally dreaded it. It was one more step along some pre-destined path Noctis had laid out for him that only seemed to grow more burdensome the more Ignis let himself dissect what little he knew about Noct’s fate.

No, Ignis didn’t think that they would do this again. Not with this level of uncomplicated friendship, with their burdens as easily set aside. Those burdens only grew as days trickled by.

But he knew that wasn’t what Prompto needed to hear though, so for the moment he pulled on comforting hopes instead of his more realistic fears.

“We will,” he said, making himself sound sure.

“Promise?” Prompto asked.

He was so young, all of them were, but Ignis felt it in this fragile moment. All the more so because Prompto didn’t come from a life where things were predetermined. He’d forged his own path here, and perhaps that made him the most driven out of all of them. But because of that, he didn’t hold the same assurances. He didn’t see that he’d forged his own bonds here or that they were just as strong—if not more—as anything Ignis or Gladio shared with Noctis. Or with each other truly.

They were all friends and more than by this point. Comrades. A family of a sort, the last that each other had.

Ignis wanted to protect that with all his heart.

“I promise,” he said gently.

“Double promise,” Noctis slurred, patting randomly in Prompto’s direction. “Now go t’sleep.”

Prompto stifled a giggle. “Back at you, dude.” Noctis, apparently, fell truly asleep at that. Or perhaps he was already asleep and in one of his odd, in-between lucid moments.

“You’re one of us,” Ignis murmured, “and we’re going to stick together.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Prompto said, getting comfortable again.

As Ignis relaxed again, letting sleep pull him under, his last thought was how lucky they were to still have so much in each other.

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Spirit Committee Mod’s Christmas Gift to you

So back earlier this year when I first started this blog, one of the first ever requests I received was a question asking me “What were my 20 favorite Housamo characters?” At first I really didn’t have an answer since I was trying to reintroduce myself to the cast, but now that I’ve ingrained myself into the community a decent bit I can give you guys what I look for in a Housamo character as my thanks to all of you for just enjoying my content really. I look for what appeals to me visually (I’m the kinda writer that likes em big and beefy) but also well written. While not every character may or may not be the best written character since there’s so much reading I have to go back and do, but I am comfortable 20 characters I find to be downright great.

My Top 10~20 Housamo Characters

Honorable Mentions: Characters who do definitely qualify in the Top 20, but are just simply hard to place exactly in a definitive slot (lists like these are pretty hard to write for in hindsight…)

~Aegir: This is a character that’s very hard to place for a few different reasons. On one hand he’s easily one of the more aesthetically pleasing characters to me and I don’t just mean his body. There’s just always something about outfits in Housamo that just look amazing and I think Aegir’s is one of the better ones because they both show off his best assets and are pretty snazzy. His color scheme in most of his outfits tend to say hes an ocean man and I like you can just tell by looking at him given the whites and blues along with the gold he adorns himself with. Sort of what you’d expect from a treasure hunter such as himself. And yes he is a total heart throb alongside that I do have a bit of Gacha bias here and for the next one since I have all variants of them and some really good artwork. On the other hand, what do I know about him? Well, he’s a pretty boisterous fellow who loves to show off and is a big man. What else? Um…. Unfortunately Aegir’s events aren’t fully translated and his voice lines and bio do leave a bit to be desired for me at least. When it comes to writing him I have no issues, but when it comes to trying to visualize him as a character among the vast cast it just becomes hard to give him a good place beyond “He has a nice chest and bulge” most of the time. It’s not anything personal and my opinion of him may change after this Christmas event is over and translated by the Housamo Blogspot and GomTang is one of my favorite artists working with LifeWonders so he may get bumped up or off. As an additional upside I do like how his gameplay in both of his variants reflect his character, it’s a nice touch game designers often do.

~Takemaru: Yes, both 2019 Christmas boys. And yes, it’s because of their tiddies. I’m mostly kidding… But in all seriousness Takemaru is one of the better offensive supports in the game who’s one of the easier units to pull in the gacha, especially right now considering he has an alt on the banner so in theory he should be showing up more frequently as a 3star. But that’s just a theory. The thing with Takemaru I like beyond his design is the fact with how genuine sweet he is as a character. He’s rough in how he speaks but his personality is very sincere (for the most part from what I can gather) However he falls into the same trap as Aegir since I haven’t read the events he’s a part of just yet. Plus he is a crafter boy and you never say no to a Crafter.

~Kengo: One of two Summoners on this list. I have a bit more preference for Kengo over the other summoner that did make the list, but to be as fair as I can in my judgment I have to leave Kengo in the 11-20 pile. Visually he has all the check boxes that just draw me to a character initially and his personality is simple, but I like that he’s simple. Characters don’t always need to be complex and multi faceted to be engaging, plus I just kinda want someone who would encourage me to be more active and I feel a few characters alongside Kengo would do that, he’s a Chad and a bro. So why is he not in the inner circle for this list? It’s cuz the story treats him the worst. What do I mean? deep breath If you’ve read Chapter 3 of the main story then you should know the absolute mess it is. It tries to shove in as many characters as possible during this part of the story which, okay understandable since this is a gacha game but they forgot to give Kengo, you know one of the cover boys, a proper role in the story and it really feels LifeWonders thought that they could bank on Kengo’s Himbo status and just showing us the others. But I need sustenance. I need to read! He did because he has moments that could have been much more if they just shifted the focus back on Kengo for more than a few moments at a time and he sort of highlights a lot of my issues with the way the stories are told in this game but those are for another time.

~Arc: In my perspective, the antithesis to Kengo. Not to say I find Arc visually unappealing, but they aren’t for me the way other characters are though. As a character though Arc’s story is honestly one of the best stories has to offer and they actually have (pardon my pun) an arc. I won’t spoil too much of their story because it’s all pretty late into the game but you really do sympathize with Arc and begin to understand the larger narrative the game has. Plus a nice detail is that Arc’s voice lines change depending on the point of the story you’re in I guess? Or maybe it was a release thing I’m not too sure how you trigger one over the other but they get 2 sets of lines. And they actually integrate Arc into the story and revolving cast pretty well instead of casting them to the wayside for 80% of their story. I can’t go much deeper than that unfortunately. All I can say is read Chapter 7 and 8 but do know that they are some of the more darker and serious chapters in the game so far.

~Durga: The only Yoyogi girl who strives to be number one. Unfortunately she joined the wrong list and wound up in the runner up tier. But for starters Durga has one of my favorite voice actresses who plays a number of my favorite characters in anime and games so I’m glad LifeWonders are capable of getting such talented voice work. As a character I know what this character is mostly about and the event I haven’t really read yet is her initial one so when that gets an official TL I’ll read it to grow more understanding. But from what I have now I can safely put her as one of my favorites because her drive to be number one is inspiring to try your best and everyone should follow her example to some degree. I say that because she really does feel naturally flawed given her alleged age. I won’t spoil much of Dreamland but I will say how Durga’s struggle is further amplified is totally understandable given her position in the group of athletes and her desire to always win and why she always pushes herself to be her best at any cost and it’s definitely something I can see someone doing (without as catastrophic a breakdown when it backfires and just learning what works best for her). As for why she’s not in the other category given my praise of her character is because I don’t have the full story much like with a few prior entries on the list. But when that event does get a TL at some point I do want to read it and finally have the full picture for her so I can rank her properly.

~Kyuma: I shall dub him my Kouhai because he is a first year. A lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art, myself included, but overall his characters don’t really put me off that much since there’s only one in particular. Kyuma’s good though. He is a good, hardworking kouhai I’d enjoy being around given he seems the most levelheaded of his friends despite his age.  Or maybe its because of his age? There’s no grand singular reason he’s on this part of the list. He just needs to be in more events and get an actual alt. That’s all.

~Zao: I wish he was introduced in a better event because he is one of the better characters released in year one. But good lord does his event drag you through the dirt with terrible battles and awful pacing. It’s unfortunate his whole story is dragged down because the game was still in an early spot when this event originally came out. Outdated gameplay aside I think Zao does best in setting the precedent for shop units when it comes to writing and design. I like his arc going from a stubborn mountain man to a more open and accepting person. However he has a similar issue with Kengo where he has to share his spotlight with characters of varying degrees but unlike Kengo the other characters who appear in this event are meant to compliment Zao rather than detract from him.

~Amatsumara: He’s the dad of the Crafters and is who makes the Crafters really feel like a family. Every member feels like they have a role in the Guild and you can really see how much Amatsumara values them. He just seems like the doting father type who gives you noogies and I can respect that. Seeing him interact with characters in Chapter 9 was also one of the more enjoyable aspects of that chapter. I won’t spoil it but it was pretty good.

For the final 2 they’re just characters who’s designs I like a lot and just need to do more research since this game has a lot of characters to try and find information on

~Dagon

~Tomte

And yes, its cuz they’re cute and new. I am shallow… ;u;

Now for the Top 10 favorites, but even then placement can change depending on what LifeWonders plans to do with them down the line.

10. Gunzo: Kicking off this list is the rugby player himself. To start he’s a very dorky athlete. He isn’t the greatest at handling social situations and kind of a goofball when it comes down to it. But those are not bad things, in fact they’re what landed him on the list. His quirkiness is just plain adorable and I do enjoy the antics he and his classmates get into. Not only that but he’s a pretty laid back guy once you get to know him a bit better. It’s his lack of awareness that is his best strength, but worst weakness at times.

9. Kurogane: deep breath ANIKI~!!! Jokes aside Kurogane is the character that when I first saw, I was very disappointed he wasn’t playable. (Then GoGo happened and made me one happy person) and he’s voiced by the same guy who did Broly back in the day so that’s pretty awesome. Kurogane actually likes it a lot when you call him “Big Bro” and I would totally call him that once I found out he did because he’s so wholesome and goodwilled. Plus he does deserve some recognition as someone older since he is the youngest in his Guild. Not only that I can sort of relate to Kurogane’s desire at being an engineer since when I was still attending classes in college that was what I was studying as my major. I can’t quite match the same level of enthusiasm as Kurogane, I do see where his character does come from when tackling certain things, which is how he easily became one of my favorites.

8. Claude: You want a sugar daddy? Claude is probably your guy. So the leader of the Berserkers Guild is a great guy, most of the time. He has his moments where he can get carried away with his own desires rather than doing the correct thing, but honestly there’s something satisfying about a man just taking what he wants. That and well, getting a bit of a wake up call that you can’t just do all of that because you’re bored. His character quest is what really sold me on Claude as a character and something about it felt very real. A lot of it was very vague terminology and confirms Claude’s status as a bottom. Claude is also very intelligent and he’s always trying to make the best move that will benefit the most amount of people, whether or not its for his own interests usually. Also this wouldn’t be your mod if I didn’t mention how good he looks, especially his outfits. Bombom just really knows how to design clothes.

7. Moritaka: Arguably the face of the franchise right after Salomon. Moritaka, to my knowledge, is one of the most popular Housamo characters and to be frank I can see why he would hold that title. He’s just a lovable character with cute art. I really think I show my love for him in my Headcanons so I’ll keep it brief by saying he’s a really enjoyable character.

6. Maria: Our local Lesbian sister will help you find true love, I promise. Maria is another really popular and well-liked character and again I can totally see why. She’s cute as a button and really compassionate towards everyone she meets. And from what I’ve seen from her, Maria is very honest with herself going forward from a certain point which is so satisfying to see. I won’t spoil her entire arc even though her chapters have been out for a while just so you can experience it for yourself. She’s too precious for me to spoil. But her character growth aside, she’s a very compassionate and kind character even to those who aren’t the most kind in return and she even goes out of her way to try and relate to those characters despite the fact they might not make sense.

5. Hephaestus: Here we have my son, please buy him Legos instead of Mega Bloks or he’ll cry. I was a little hesitant with Hephaestus at first to be blunt. He seemed to be quite crude in certain places and really uncaring and a little cliché with his attitude. Plus he’s quite nasty to Talos, often times getting mad at Talos for simply doing what he was made to do. But Chapter 9 really put it into perspective. For spoilers I can’t say what made me turn around from wanting to look away from wanting to just hold him and protect him. All I can say is that he has been put through the wringer and just deserves to be happy.

4. Ashigara: Best bear, Volos stans don’t come for me. I explained it before but Ashigara is a character that tends to radiate “me” energy and I can totally see us being friends in real life. He’s the kind of guy who’d send you memes when your sad but he’d eat all your food, which is why you were sad in the first place. All about give and take.

3. Oniwaka: A bully BF uwu god have mercy but yes. Oniwaka was actually my first ever Housamo summon when I first began to play and on my most recent account (I’ve been on and off with the series until I started this blog and became more of a permanent player) he was my first 5star unit so it weirdly came full circle with him. His alternate skins are an absolute delight to behold and he is no slouch in the writing department after the slog that was Chapter 3. If anything he just got better with each appearance. He was rough around the edges, but seeing his softer sides just warms your heart.

2. Wakan Tanka: Touching down at silver place is my “Housamo Husbando”. Weird I know but let me explain. Wakan Tanka is a character I very much love and cherish, he is a really cute boy who just wants to do good by everyone he meets. He hates treating people especially different which is societal goals. However, he has a tendency to come off as a bit too perfect. While I really like him, he’s also feels more like an ideal than someone who can actually develop and grow. Wakan has basically achieved ascention. As for the top place on this list though…

1. Taurus Mask/Daisuke Ikusaba: Much like how Oniwaka was my first pull, Daisuke was my first Housamo crush. First and foremost his design is what I consider to be very tasteful. It’s both an incredibly attractive outfit, it’s also very appropriate and it isn’t too distracting. Second I love how LifeWonders leans into a character completely and just goes all out with a number of references to their lore or culture. Since Daisuke is a luchador inspired character its really cool to see his Summon Day be May 5th. Thirdly and finally, his writing as a character completely wins me over. He is a shy senior by day, but wrestling prodigy by night. Not only is that badass, but you have the perfect set up and the writer in me squeaks like a little fan girl that I am. Wrestling was never really my thing growing up so while I don’t have any fondness for it in particular, if I had seen Taurus Mask in action you would see me in the crowd shouting for him. Daisuke is just that amazing and why he’s my Number 1 favorite Housamo character.

[evilrubberducke]

IzuMina Week Day 2- Let Me Count the Ways I Love You

And here’s day two of IzuMina week. This time around, the prompt I chose is ‘Night-time Stroll’. A little bit happier and fluffier than the last prompt, so hopefully it will help you fell better in this trying time.

As I said in my last post, I finally made another blog for my writing/Mina obsession. If that’s the content you follow me for, feel free to go give it a follow so you don’t get quite so many extraneous/personal posts from me.

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302390

Or on FF.Net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13530836/2/IzuMina-Week-2020

"Blergh!" Mina exclaimed in frustration, collapsing back into her chair, "Midori, I can't take any more of this. Can't we be done?"

Izuku leaned back in his own chair, and set his pencil down. The two of them had taken over one of the common room tables for a study session that afternoon, and had hardly left the table since. For Izuku, that was a fairly normal study session, but for Mina it was the kind of epic studython that she rarely engaged in.

They had gone through each and every subject, with Izuku meticulously explaining each part she didn't understand with the same patience and kindness that he always displayed when helping her study.

If it weren't for him, she never would have made it this far. She had always found it hard to concentrate on studying when there were so many other interesting things she could be doing. Even if she sat herself down in front of a textbook and refused to get up until she had finished a chapter, the words often refused to stick in her brain, and her eyes had a tendency to glaze over as she skimmed through the book without really understanding any of it.

Studying with Izuku was different though. She swore that her boyfriend could read the phone book to her, and he would still find a way to make it interesting. She wasn’t sure if it was something about his voice, or just the way he explained things to her without seeming like he was talking down to her that did it, but whatever the reason was, having him read the material to her was way more effective than any study method she had ever tried before. It wasn't a perfect system, and she still needed plenty of repetition to actually cram everything into her head, but it had helped her raise her grades significantly. 

“We have been studying for quite a while,” Izuku admitted, “I suppose a break could be good, so long as you don’t make it too long.”

“Yes!” Mina cheered, hopping to her feet. She was happy that her grades were rising, especially since it meant her parents had upped her allowance significantly, but she had always been an active person, and sitting still for so long had been driving her a bit stir crazy. 

She stretched her arms out above her head, leaning to the side as she did so to help work some of the kinks out of her back. As she did so, the light of the full moon pouring in the window caught her eye, and she was suddenly struck with the perfect idea for how to relieve her stress, and maybe buy a little extra break time for herself too.

“Hey, Midori, want to go for a walk with me?”

He cocked his head in confusion, then turned to stare out the window into the night beyond. “Ummm, isn’t it a bit late for that?”

“Nope!” Mina chirped, “We’ve still got tons of time before lights out. And there’s plenty of light, cuz of the moon. It’s the perfect night for a stroll!��

“Mina, I really can’t. I still haven’t started on the essay for English, and I really should go over this section ahead of time for when we review it together,” Izuku said, gesturing at the textbook that was in front of him.

Mina blew a raspberry in response. “C’mon Midori! That essay isn’t due till next week. Besides, you’ve been studying for even longer than I have. You need a break as much as I do.”

He wavered for a moment, and Mina seized the chance. She put on her best pleading face, knowing that Izuku was helpless when it came to resisting a pair of puppy dog eyes. She’d realized that little tidbit rather early on in their relationship, and had made great use of it. 

Their eyes met, and his resistance crumbled as a small smile spread across his face. “Okay, okay. I’ll come with you. But we are going to finish studying when we get back.”

“Fiiiiiiine,” Mina said with a sigh. Having that hanging over her head would bring down the mood a little, but she would manage.

-

Despite how warm the day had been, the night air was cool and crisp as Mina stepped outside. She had pulled on a light jacket before heading out, but she still cuddled up to Izuku’s side and pulled his arm around her before they could even start their walk.

Even though they had been dating for several months now, Izuku’s cheeks still flushed slightly from the contact. She liked that look. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that no matter how much time they spent together, and no matter how many times they cuddled, Izuku still cared enough to get flustered over something so simple.

She didn’t really have a destination in mind as the two of them set out into the evening. She just wanted to move around and spend time with her boyfriend thinking about anything but homework. Thankfully UA had plenty of walking paths for them to explore. 

The one they ended up choosing wove around the edge of the campus and through the carefully maintained trees there. With the only light coming from the moon overhead, Mina felt like they were walking through an isolated patch of forest instead of the nearly urban school grounds.

“Pretty romantic, huh?” Mina said, glancing up at her boyfriend. He wasn’t that much taller than she was, but the difference in height was noticeable enough when they walked arm in arm. 

“Yeah, it really is,” Izuku said, turning his own gaze up to look at the night sky.

“Sooo, why don’t we make it even more romantic?” Mina asked, giving him a light poke in the ribs to pull his attention back to her.

“How so?” 

“Like this!” Mina said, stopping in her tracks and turning slightly so she and Izuku were face to face, arms wrapped around each other. 

“I like you because you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. You never make me feel stupid for not understanding something, even though it takes me forever to get math. I like you because you’re so passionate about everything you do. You never stop giving it your all, even when things are super tough and it's honestly so inspiring. Everyone in the class looks up to you, me most of all. You make me want to do better, to be better all the time. And even when things are tough, you always help me out. I really, really, really like you, for all of those reasons and a bunch more!” 

As she finished, she pulled Izuku in close and planted a kiss on his lips. She put all the feeling she could into the gesture, wishing that she could convey even a tenth of what she felt for the wonderful, adorkable boy who had stolen her heart all those months ago. She couldn’t, of course, but she still tried her best.

By the time she pulled back, Izuku had turned completely red. Mina had thought she had seen him at his blushiest before, but that had been nothing compared to this. Honestly, he looked like he was going to keel over from the amount of blood that had rushed to his head. Not that she really had any room to judge. She could tell her own cheeks were flushed

“Th-That’s not fair,” Izuku mumbled, “You need to warn me before you say stuff like that.”

“No way,” Mina said, “That would mean I don’t get to see your flustered face anymore, and that’s way too cute to never see again.”

“I’m not cute,” Izuku protested, “I’m just… plain.”

“You are a cutie-patootie, mister,” Mina replied, booping him on the nose to forestall any protest, “And sure, I’m a little biased because we’re dating, but that doesn’t change facts. Besides, being cute is more than just looks. It’s how you act too, and that’s something you’ve got down pat. I’ve never met someone who acts quite as cute as you do.”

To her surprise, that last line didn’t send Izuku into another spiral of blushing. Instead, a soft smile bloomed on his face as he locked eyes with her.

“I can think of someone,” he said calmly, “And she’s standing right in front of me.”

Now it was Mina’s turn to be reduced to a blushing mess. There was something about seeing the change in him, from shy and awkward to surprisingly smooth that never failed to set her heart racing.

He wasn’t done there, though. “Mina, I really, really, really like you too. You’re the kindest, sweetest, happiest girl I’ve ever known, and just being around you is enough to make me smile. But that’s not enough for you. You keep getting stronger, and faster, and more amazing every day because you never give up. Even when it’s tough, you just keep smiling and making the world around you a brighter place, just by existing. You’ve taken my breath away since the moment we first met, and I can’t wait to see how you’ll do it next.”

Whereas Mina’s kiss had been quick and passionate, the kiss Izuku laid on her lips was slow, gentle, and so loving that it was all Mina could do not to melt into a happy pink puddle right then and there.

Thankfully, she resisted the urge, and they spent several minutes simply standing there, arms wrapped around each other as they enjoyed the simple intimacy of being close to the person they loved most in the world. 

Eventually, however, they did have to break their embrace and return to the dorms. Neither of them were in Aizawa’s good graces at the moment, so any curfew violations would see them cleaning the dorms for a week.

To Mina’s surprise, however, she wasn’t as reluctant to return to the dorms and the pile of unfinished homework within them as she had expected to be. Hearing Izuku’s confessions of affection had been exactly what she needed to recharge her batteries. 

It was still going to be a long evening, but she felt like she could handle it. After all, she had her favorite person in the whole world to help her out, and together they could conquer anything.

[inspirationallyinsane]

April 2 2018

Tumblr :D Hi. It's me, cha girl. I am doing so well. I feel very peaceful right now. I had a full day of work, I got to go home and take a nap, take a shower, and now I get to chill out in bed writing about my favorite things while wearing my boyf's sweatshirt. How nice???? Work has been crazy though. We lost one of our tellers and moved another teller to only work Mondays and Fridays and it has been insane. Like today, it was just me and one other person until 10:00. On the first Monday of the month. Unacceptable??? I was supposed to leave at 4 today but I ended up having to stay until 5 just because we couldn't keep up. To be fair though I really feel like a lot of our tellers are kinda slow. I think I'm one of the quickest tellers as far as transactions go. If everyone processed the transactions as quickly as I do then we'd have less of a problem. I also understand though that the other tellers have to talk to people which would probably slow them down. So. Can't really blame them I guess. I'm a little upset right now. Not full blown upset yet but today one of my managers said that I might not get the promotion. Like excuse me?? You told me it was mine? You told me that if I applied I basically had the job? And all the other shit was just a formality? And now you're telling me that's not true? I don't understand that. I still fully believe they are going to give me the job but it's like... why say that shit? So I started applying for UB jobs at other US Banks. The ones in Medford have open positions with more hours so it would be better for me to take one of those. Especially since it would be wayyy easier to find an apartment in Medford. I really don't want to leave my branch but if my manager is going to pull some shit like this??? I won't stay just cuz. That's garbage. I've been so busy this last week. I hung out with all of my friends and even some new friends :) I love people so much. Just talking and having a good time until like 4 in the morning. It's my favorite thing. There is nothing better than people. People can also be confusing and they can say and do things that you do not understand. I think that sometimes I even say and do things that I do not understand. I wish I knew why I felt the way that I do sometimes. I think that would make life easier. Ummm and I've been seeing a lottttt of Mason. My fav, the cutest ever. Every time I see him it is wonderful. Last weekend we hung out with my mommo and my brother and it was awesome :) it's lowkey hard to find people that my family likes, I think. I mean I just remember it was always hard for me with AG because they all hated him. I'm glad that isn't the case. We all talked for a while and we got to play some Cranium. Mason and I slayed it out, we didn't get to finish the game but we were substantially ahead when we had to leave. So. We counted it as a W. Any guy I can win a game of Cranium with is good in my book. And then on Sunday I got to go out to his place and hang out with his friends. Which was awesome. They are funny kiddos. And very different from what I'm used to. My friends are sooo different. Well. Some of my friends. The friends I was hanging out with last week. They are like, true St. Mary's kids. Which I guess a lot of you wouldn't know what that means but it's hard to describe. It's a totally different attitude and vibe. I'm glad I can chill with both. Like Mason and his friends full ass built a fire. I've never seen that before. It was really cool. We hung out in the nature. Weird. We also played a good bit of Xbox which is much more within my comfort zone. That was fun too. He is so nice to me. He reminds me of what a relationship is supposed to look like. He kisses me on the reg and he texts me every day. He always wants to hang out. I haven't had those things in a while. Even with AG, I barely ever saw him really. And what's crazy is my last few guys have actually lived close to me??? Mason is like an hour drive away and yet?? We are both more than willing to make the drive. Because of course we are. He makes me feel really happy. And that is also something I haven't had in a relationship in a long time. Just being happy with someone. Not having the arguments or the petty bullshit. Not being constantly put down or ignored or abused. It's so wonderful. It makes me want to cry a little bit. To think that something so beautiful exists. That someone could actually be good. And do you know what is awful? I'm waiting. I'm waiting for this bubble to break. For him to be awful to me. That's what would be normal. Logically, I don't believe it will happen. Based on how he is with his friends, I think. They've known each other for a long time and he is still good to them. In a guy sorta way but the care remains. Whereas the others did not have that compassion for their friends, or other people at all. The WorstTM was a sociopath and AG was just so inside of his own world that he didn't have the room to worry about anyone else. They didn't have friends like Mason does. I think that is a very telling thing. It is strange for me though, I am so used to being in these really intense, veryyyy serious relationships. Obviously, I was engaged, and then I broke off my engagement because I had been quasi-dating this other guy for a while and we were full ass in love. We were talking about marriage and kids from the beginning of the relationship. I don't know how to do this casual thing. I need to change my mindset on things, I guess. Ultimately things are really good. I have two of his hats and I have his sweatshirt and they are now my favorite possessions. I get to sleep in my boyfriend's sweatshirt again :D I love doing that. And it smells like him. Which may sound a bit weird but it's very comforting to me? I love it. He makes me smile, all the time. Which makes people look at me like I'm a crazy person sometimes. Like today at the bank I was thinking about him and I just sat there smiling like an idiot and Ben looks at me and goes "Why tf are you so happy?" And I just told him I had a really good weekend hanging out with my favs and he says that he's never had a weekend that would make him smile like that on a Monday morning. I think that's sad. I hope everyone gets to have weeks/weekends like the one I got to have. Happiness is so fleeting. If I can hold on to that happiness into Monday, I'm sure as shit going to do it. Anyway. I guess that is all for now. Thanks for listening, as always, Tumblr. Goodnight :)

[junker-town]

The best ever basketball fight was Duke vs. UNC in 1961

When Duke played UNC in 1961, we got pettiness, punches and cowering referees. It ruled.

With a title like “The best ever basketball fight” you might be expecting me to discuss Malice at the Palace. That one was a truly great fight, with unexpected twists and turns— mainly Metta World Peace twisting to see who threw a cup at him, and then turning his first toward that guy, or someone who seemed like that guy.

But I’d argue that basketball history holds an even better, more exciting fight. One that’s so very petty you can’t help but enjoy it. (Oh, wait, am I a bad person? Nah, I’ve given to charity before, I’m covered.)

In 1961 UNC and Duke engaged in what I’m declaring as The Best Ever Basketball Fight. Not just because the fight itself was ten minutes of chaos involving players, fans, coaches, and the scorekeeper. Nor is it because in the old days fans wore suits to games, so this brawl looked very fancy. It’s a combination of these factors and more that raise this fight from great to greatest.

Lemme set the stage for those of us who aren’t super familiar with the state of college basketball 60 years ago. UNC and Duke had been nurturing feelings of hatred for some time.

Yes, being basketball powerhouses located just eight miles from each other created some rivalry. But real bitter emotions between UNC and Duke were born of affronts more personal than merely hating your neighbor.

In 1960, the NCAA put UNC on probation for “excessive recruiting entertainment,” which sounds like they hired exotic dancers, but I’m pretty sure coach Frank McGuire was just handing out money very liberally to potential recruits instead.

But even cash isn’t a foolproof recruiting technique. In 1959, New York high school standout Art Heyman committed to UNC … but then Heyman reneged and decided to go to Duke. So here McGuire is, being punished for illegal recruiting tactics that don’t even work. Not to mention how embarrassing it is to be publicly rejected by a high school kid.

Thus UNC had an enemy, perhaps exacerbated by the fact that as a freshman Heyman was really good. Back then, freshmen couldn’t play on varsity teams, but Heyman was averaging 30 points a game on the freshman team.

The UNC freshman team wasn’t about to let Heyman embarrass their school again, and came up with a way of stopping him: Dieter Krause punched him in the face so hard he needed stitches. While I’m sure that fight was exciting, it doesn’t come anywhere near the category of best. Someone got actually hurt, which is not really the kind of thing I want to see. I’m not a sicko. I just like excitement and pettiness. Plus there was only one punch so … I mean ... does that even count as a fight?

The next season, on the varsity squad, Heyman was averaging 26 points a game. But then he played North Carolina and Doug Moe held him to just 11 points, which I think must have hurt more than the Krause’s punch.

After the game, apparently, Heyman put a picture of Moe up on his dorm room wall, never letting himself forget the humiliation and who had caused it. See what I’m talking about with the pettiness? This is good stuff. I didn’t know that kind of thing happened outside of TV and movie montages.

The rematch was set for early February. Duke was ranked fourth in the country with a record of 15-1 and UNC was fifth at 14-2.

The game kept teasing fans with the possibility of a fight. At one point, Frank McGuire yelled at a Duke assistant trainer for talking to UNC players. At halftime, a male UNC cheerleader gave Heyman one of those athlete-butt-pats, for encouragement, but Heyman, perhaps sensing a little sarcasm, shoved him.

Moe and Heyman got in a little dust up because in Heyman’s words. “He spit on me. Everytime I went to take a shot, he spit on me.”

You gotta hand it to Doug Moe. That is very clever. Is a ref gonna see you spitting on someone? Probably not. And even if they did, I bet Moe was being clever about it, maybe spitting while yelling “shot” or “I got ball” so it looked like an accident. There were no HD cameras to catch you back then. Nobody had any idea he was spitting on Heyman, except the lightly moistened Heyman himself. The downside to Moe’s literal dirty play (apart from the whole being really gross thing)? It wasn’t even a little bit effective.

Heyman had a great game and with 15 seconds left in the game, he’d scored 36 points and Duke was up by five.

With a last push, future-NBA coach Larry Brown drove to the basket where he met Heyman, who went ahead and fouled him, hard. Brown immediately chucked the ball at Heyman, benches cleared, and fans rushed the court. The score keeper jumped over the table and got a UNC player in a headlock. Fists were flying in every direction. After more than ten-minutes the ten policemen Duke had brought to the game managed to calm things down. Nobody was seriously injured (so we basically don’t have to feel guilty at all about voyeuristically enjoying it) and only Heyman was ejected.

There was such chaos it was hard for refs to see what happened exactly. Heyman later claimed Frank McGuire, the adult coach of UNC, kicked him. Though to be fair to McGuire, Heyman did later admit to punching him in the groin,

It was largely reported that Heyman threw the first punch, mostly because that’s what referee Charlie Eckman said happened. But uh-oh Charlie, these games are taped.

Duke Coach Vic Bubas called a press conference where he played the tape, or as it was adorably called in the 1960’s “the movies,” of the game. Brown threw the first punch, then UNC’s Don Walsh tackled Heyman from behind, THEN Heyman started punching people, in the groin and elsewhere. Oh, and the tape/movies also revealed why ref Charlie Eckman recounted events wrong: he didn’t have a great view of the fight from where he was hiding behind the basket.

The ACC commissioner suspended Brown, Walsh, and Heyman for the rest of the season. But one UNC alumnus was still angry. A lawyer — named Blackwell Brogden in case you were wondering if he was a villain or not — swore out an assault and battery warrant against Heyman for shoving the cheerleader at halftime.

The cheerleader didn’t want to be involved, presumably because it was a ridiculous case. But Brogden subpoenaed the cheerleader. Blackwell must’ve really loved going to UNC to be such an ardent/aggressive supporter/attacker. I hope the alumni association hit him up for donations cuz I have a feeling he’d be a soft touch.

The case was dropped pretty fast, but not before headlines that failed to mention the cheerleader was male made the rounds. With headlines like “Art Heyman Accused of Assaulting Cheerleader” Heyman looked like a monster.

Though fans were involved in the fight, Duke resolved to not to make any changes to seating arrangements or add barricades or do anything at all. The University released a statement saying “It is our duty to preserve the fine rivalry between North Carolina and Duke.” What a perfectly Duke way to say “we’re ... gonna ignore this.”

Oh, I almost forgot, Duke ended up winning 81-77. A close game is the cherry on top. This brawl had everything, from spitting and low blows to cowardly refs and a lawyer being a baby. I think I’ve made my case. The 1961 UNC-Duke fight is the Best Ever Basketball Fight.

Every week we’ll be writing up a fun historical sports story that we enjoyed. We find a lot of these while researching, but if you want to make suggestions on a thing you want to read about, let us know in the comments.

[mnm-inc-miles]

1 WRITING

Lowell x Phoenix 07/03/2019

Lowell had spent the better half of two days engaged in deep introspection. He had been slowly declining emotionally for a while, even before Phoenix ripped him away from his world. Too much stress and trauma; then the result of holding in all his feelings were finally catching up to him.

In the time Lowell spent locked away in a guest room in JD’s home he discovered a few things about himself. Part of the reason he was so frustrated sometimes is because he didn’t like how certain things panned out or how people acted or treated him, but that he couldn’t be upset with anyone besides himself because he’d never verbalized his feelings and desires. When his so-called vacation was over Lowell knew he had to truly start addressing things in his life, specifically those that bothered him.

He grabbed his phone and sent a text to Phoenix: Hey, I hope you’re doing well. Let me know when is a good time to talk.

His response was quicker than Lowell expected, but was glad he didn’t have to wait: I am good whenever you are. Did you want to meet today?

Lowell chewed his lip. His reservation to confront things still preceding all other desires: Yeah that would be great if you’re not busy. Did you want to meet somewhere? Or maybe, would you be alright coming over to JD’s?

Phoenix: I can be there shortly. See you in 10?

Lowell: Sure, Yeah. Thanks.

Phoenix: of course.

Lowell laid in his bed staring at the ceiling a few moments longer. Then he sent another text saying he’d meet Phoenix our front. When he got outside Phoenix was approaching from down the drive.

“Hey...” Lowell called out timidly. He took in his friends appearance and immediately felt guilty for asking him over. He was rugged, bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, and he moved slower than normal, with less purpose, less confidence. Lowell walked toward him and immediately embraced him. “I’m sorry...”

Phoenix was quiet a moment, letting Lowell express his sorrow. He swallowed, wincing as it felt like he had sand in his throat. “You don’t have to apologize to me,” he spoke gently.

Lowell pulled away but remained close, “You’ve been through a lot already...I feel like a I’m being a prick.”

“You’re not,” Phoenix offered a slight smile. “Where did you want to talk?”

Lowell shrugged, “We could just walk around if you want.”

“This is for you,” Phoenix stated. “I know this isn’t a conversation you really want to have, but I know you think it needs to be done. So why don’t you think about where would be most comfortable for you.”

Lowell sighed, knowing walking around outside would allow him to avoid actually confronting his feelings. “Inside,” he finally exhaled. “With no distractions...”

“Alright,” Phoenix nodded as he gave Lowell’s shoulder a slight squeeze. “Lead the way.” The two went inside and up to where Lowell had been staying.

“This has been my home away from home recently,” Lowell chewed his cheek as he let Phoenix into the bedroom. “Can I get you any water? Or like, the bathroom is down the hall if you need to use it.”

“I’m alright for now, thanks.”

“Phoenix...” Lowell tried to get started but the words were trapped in his throat. He sat down defeated. Phoenix came and sat next to him, waiting patiently. Lowell watched him, tried to study him and get a read on his thoughts. Nothing. “Can I ask what you’re thinking right now?”

“Isn’t this about you?”

Lowell raised a brow, “It’s sort of about both of us, isn’t it?”

“If you think so,” Phoenix offered.

“Even if it is about me, I asked a question. Maybe just answer it?” He immediately looked down, the sass leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“You should apologize less during this conversation,” Phoenix offered. “You owe me nothing.”

“Don’t I? You’re always protecting me, you risk a lot and put so much on the line...I am honestly indebted to you.”

“No you’re not. I made a choice, you never asked for this. So you owe me nothing.” Lowell shrugged and looked down at his lap. Phoenix cleared his throat. “If you really want to know what’s on my mind...” he paused and swallowed hard. “How did I manage to screw everything up this badly? Maybe...I deserve this hurt, but the people also affected don’t...” he sighed.

“You have to stop blaming yourself.”

Phoenix was quiet, inhaled a moment and slowly exhaled. “What’s on your mind right now?”

“A lot,” Lowell laughed awkwardly.

“Well, let’s focus on us then, okay? I know what happened wasn’t fair, but I think you have more to say about it than simply that.”

Lowell nodded, “Yeah well...I’ve got a multitude of emotions towards it.”

“Don’t you always,” Phoenix tried to smile.

“Ha, yeah...story of my life.”

“Let it out then, it’s about time. And honestly, tell me how it is. I’m not fragile. A bit broken, perhaps, but it has nothing to do with you, so it’s compartmentalized. Say what you think needs to be said. It’s the only way we’ll move past this. And that’s what I want. What we both want, I think.”

“Yeah,” Lowell nodded. He searched his thoughts with where to begin. “Remember when you asked if it was alright that you had this uh...control over me? And all I said was not to interrupt my life? Not to control every detail...”

“Yes, no micromanaging, I remember.”

“And yet...” Lowell paused and waited.

“You know I did it for your safety.”

“You ripped away my entire life and barely offered an explanation. If this is Miles having the upper hand, then I might as well be his right? What’s the point of you being in control if you can’t actually protect me?”

“That was me protecting you. It was the best I could do at that moment.”

Lowell could feel his frustration building. “I appreciate what you do Phoenix, and I feel like an ass, but there’s no way that was your best. It wasn’t good enough.”

“I let you down; I know.”

“Don’t do that,” Lowell interrupted. “Don’t...don’t make me feel more guilty than I already do.”

“You’re doing that yourself Lowell,” Phoenix stated somewhat defensively. “If you’d let me finish, I know you didn’t like the way I handled it, but my sole focus was everyone’s safety and I had a very small window to make decisions. You might not want to hear this, but I wouldn’t have made the decision differently. Keeping you here would have meant someone else was gone, and maybe...maybe part of the reason I chose you is because I assumed you’d be the most forgiving.”

The room was silent for a good few minutes. Lowell didn’t know what to say and Phoenix knew it was his turn for the floor. When enough time passed Phoenix continued, “It wasn’t fair. And I’m sorry. But I would rather keep you safe than preserve our friendship. Your life is more important.”

“Don’t you find that mentality incredibly isolating?”

“It’s proven to be, yes.” Phoenix thought on all the loss he’s accrued over the last five years. The strain he’s put on numerous relationships. The family he let down, the lover’s he failed. But ultimately the people who’s lives he did help were way better for it. Both Lucky and Dana could have been killers had they not worked with him. JJ would have had less control over his demons, though somehow Phoenix doubted the darkness would ever truly take him over.

“Maybe you need less responsibility though,” Lowell offered. “I doubt Miles really has an interest in me anymore.”

“You’re still in the top 6, and honestly, my load has decreased dramatically. Things will be different moving forward, I can promise you that.”

“I don’t...I can’t figure out why I feel so fucking angry...” Lowell growled, part of him still trying to fight off the negativity.

Phoenix watched him a moment and sighed, “Look, I’m...I am probably the worst person to give this kind of advice but maybe...maybe the reason you don’t feel better yet is because I’m not the only person you have problems with right now.”

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve definitely realized that but I...I still feel mad at you and maybe that’s because you’re easy to blame...or even easiest to talk to cuz fuck, I mean let’s be real Phoenix at this point you’re the most compliant person in my life. Save for like...JD. I don’t know...”

Phoenix laughed slightly, “I’m far from compliant Lowell.”

Lowell threw his hands in the air and started pacing the room. “Well what the hell is it then? What the fuck is going on with me...” tears began to swell as he continued to pace. “I thought I had some stuff figured out which is why I took this time...and why I had you come over...”

“One thing I know I’m good at,” Phoenix spoke as he stood and approached Lowell. He placed his hands on opposing shoulders. “I don’t second guess myself in the moment. I act. Yes, there will be consequences but there always are. You’re only now paying for the consequences of not expressing yourself. You can’t avoid cause and effect. It’s impossible. But if you act honestly...if you respond with your gut at the very least you won’t be confused about how you feel.”

“That doesn’t sound like you at all. You’re the king of guilt.”

“Just because I feel responsible for things, doesn’t mean I don’t understand why I made the decisions I did. Every choice I’ve made had a reason that hasn’t changed. That’s probably exactly why I feel guilty.” Lowell pulled away from Phoenix and sat back down on the bed. The room was filed with silence once more. “I know you have a lot on your mind, but is there anything relating to me specifically you need to address?”

“Will it happen again?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“But you can help it!” Lowell exploded. “You’re the one with the control Phoenix, at least that’s what I’ve been lead to understand. If you can’t do this job give me back to Miles.”

“You don’t want that,” Phoenix stated.

“Maybe not, who knows,” Lowell continued to shout. “But what I do know for certain is I never want that to happen again. Ever. If you can’t promise me that then give this power to someone who can.”

“You think Miles will promise you that?” Phoenix yelled back. “You think Miles will never ever let something bad happen to you? That’s fucking naive Lowell. This isn’t a job anyone can do perfectly, not Ed, not Simon, no one. We are fighting two powerful god complexed psychopathic madmen, they don’t have rules, they don’t have boundaries. If you have a problem with my having this control then maybe you need to stop pretending you’re okay with it. It’s not going to change, and as I said before, if that costs me your friendship then I’ll deal with that consequence.”

Phoenix watched as Lowell suddenly broke down in tears. His head fell to his hands as he sobbed. Unsure of what to do next he just allowed the other to expel those emotions. After some time passed, Phoenix cautiously sat next to him. “All I can promise is that things will be different. I’m not the Green Arrow anymore, Diaz is dead...I’m not responsible for William...my plate is practically empty which means my focus is on this. You and the others I’ve chosen to protect.”

“I’m...I’m sorry...” Lowell cried, still hiding his face.

“Lowell, you have every right to be angry, but just because you are...doesn’t mean I won’t be honest with you. I try not to make promises I can’t keep. I’m not going to say what you want to hear.”

“I can’t do this...I can’t...”

Phoenix furrowed his brows, deeply concerned. “Can’t do what, Lowell?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“Yes you do, it’s okay to tell me. What’s wrong?”

Lowell shook his head. “I feel like, if someone gave me a redo button right now, I’d push it.”

Phoenix leaned over and pulled Lowell into a hug. “At this very moment, of course you would. You’re overwhelmed and addressing things for the first time...maybe in your life, seriously anyway. But if you did...and then someone approached you with the truth of what you lost when you pushed that button, you’d want it all back.”

Lowell cried harder and Phoenix held him. After what felt like eternity, Lowell calmed down and Phoenix let go. The younger male threw himself back and let his head hit the bed. He stared at the ceiling and felt the weight of Phoenix lay down beside him.

“What are you thinking right now?” Lowell asked his friend.

“Are you okay?”

Lowell turned to face Phoenix, “Seriously?”

Phoenix nodded. “Right now, every fiber of my being is concerned about you; you have my utter and complete attention.” Lowell watched him, believed him. Phoenix waited for Lowell to say whatever was in his mind.

“I love you but god I’m so mad about what happened...partly because it’s forced me to take a good hard look at my life...and now...now I have to have probably a dozen hard conversations with people and it’ll suck.”

Phoenix smiled genuinely, “Don’t look at it as a burden, because it’s actually the opposite. You might not like the outcome of some of your conversation, or maybe the outcome will surprise you...but nonetheless you will be able to move forward Lowell. You keep allowing yourself to be dragged down by fear. Fear of failure, fear of loss, of disappointment...but that’s part of life. The good and the bad. The ups and the downs. And honestly, this conversation will likely be the hardest one because it’s the first step.”

Lowell rolled into Phoenix and let him wrap his arms around him. “I love you too,” Phoenix whispered. “For better and worse, I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thank you,” Lowell breathed, letting himself be calmed by his friends steady beating heart.

[buckybarnesappreciationsociety]

Sacred Vows

Summary: This was written for @bionic-buckyb​‘s 5K writing challenge. I chose the prompt, “There’s no one else I’d rather have in my life than you” Thank you for allowing me to take part in this. Hope you like it.

Word Count: Kinda lengthy (sorry)

 Pairing: Bucky x Reader

A/N: I’m a true romantic and James Buchanan Barnes deserves to love and be loved. 

Bucky wanted a simple ceremony in front of a justice of the peace. You didn’t care as long as you and he were joined in holy matrimony. Natasha Romanoff super sleuth discovered your plans and alerted the team. Tony scoffed at the thought of a “shot gun wedding.” “You’re getting married on my private island. Pepper will handle the wedding details and the rest of us are your wing men and women.” Tony rubbed his hands together with a gleam in his eyes. You could see the cogs turning in his head!!

“But Tony, Bucky and I don’t want anything over the top,” Y/N pleaded, trying to keep up with his long strides. “Uh, sorry future Mrs. Frost Bite, did you say something?” Bucky slapped his forehead and sighed heavily, finally relenting, “okay Stark. Our wedding is in your hands.”

A chorus of “yay” and thunderous applause erupted in the common room. Pepper sprang into action contacting the necessary shops. While on the phone with the decorator, she removed the phone from her ear, “YN? What are your colors?” Honestly, you and Bucky never discussed colors. “We don’t have a color preference.” “Pish posh. Let me see. What about cobalt blue, grey and white?” “Okay, let’s see the colors together.” Hanging up from the decorators she pulled up the colors on her tablet and showed them to Bucky and his fiancé.

“What do you think, babe?” Bucky looked in amazement. “I really like the colors. What do you think, Doll?” “I say YES.” Wanda and Nat found a quaint little bridal shop in Manhattan, Le Chic. The bridal party arrived via white stretch limo.

“Ladies, your chariot awaits.” YN, Wanda, Nat and Dr. Cho gasped. “Really Tony? A limo?” “Yep future Mrs. Frozensicle. Go big or go home.” The ladies looked at each other and made their way to the white stretch limo. Pepper knew Tony had a soft spot for YN and wanted to make her special day one they’ll never forget.

****

“Stevie, I don’t wanna assume anything but will ya be my best man?” The blonde super soldier gripped Bucky’s shoulders, “I’d be honored, jerk.” “Thanks punk.” Sam and Clint feigned hurt. “Well damn, looks like we’re the ugly step sisters, Clint.”

Bucky knew YN wanted Sam and Tony to walk her down the aisle. “Look buttheads, Y/N wants Sam and Tony walking her down the aisle. So, that leaves Clint, Thor, Scott and Bruce as my groomsmen.” Thor announced with his booming, “my friends, let’s go and procure attire for the fair Lady Y/N and James’ impending nuptials, which I will gladly officiate.” Everyone gave him an exasperated glance.

****

The limo carrying the bridal party pulled up to Le Chic Bridal Shop. Onlookers swore they were movie stars. Once inside, Nathaniel and Pepper exchanged hugs and air kisses. She gave him information on what Y/N wanted and he went to work. Complimentary drinks and finger food were served.  Wanda and Dr. Cho looked around for the perfect bridesmaid gowns. Nat beamed when asked to be Y/N’s maid of honor. Of course, she opted for something short but not too fancy. This was her best friend’s day!

Finding dresses wasn’t a hard task for the ladies. Dr. Cho and Wanda chose beautiful Vera Wang bridesmaid dresses, with lace on the top half. They thought it best to dress the same.

Nat found the perfect dress that accentuated her curves but wasn’t too fancy.

Y/N browsed through the wedding gowns and stopped on a gorgeous Stella York gown. It had a 1940’s look, white with a cobalt blue inlay at the bottom.

The dressing room attendants helped her try the dress on. She stepped from behind the curtain and everyone gasped. Nat became teary eyed; Wanda and Dr. Cho clapped. Y/N was choked up. “Ladies, I’ve found my wedding gown.”

“Mission accomplished.” Everyone raised their glasses and toasted a successful shopping trip. Next stop, LUNCH!!!

 At Giovonni’s Tailor Emporium, Bucky suggested everyone dress alike. Grey suits, white shirts, cobalt blue vests, ties and pocket squares. Bucky’s tie was striped with grey, cobalt blue and white! “Well, that was easy. Gentlemen, lunch awaits.” Why don’t we frequent our watering hole for bar food and brew?” The groom’s party fancied hot wings, fries, beer and scotch.

Bucky spoke, “listen guys. I ain’t for mushy speeches but I just gotta say how much me and Y/N appreciate what you’re doing to make our wedding special. Tony, I appreciate your generosity. She’s worth it and then some.” Everybody held their glasses high. “To finally getting Sir Frosty married.” Raucous laughter erupted, as the men continued to eat, drink and be merry. Thor, Steve, and Bucky were enjoying his Asgard mead.

Arriving in St. Bart’s

The Stark jet landed on a private air strip. Tony’s concierge, Reynaldo and staff met the wedding party and helped load luggage and wedding attire on a yacht and sped off to Tony’s private island!! Bucky and Y/N were speechless. 3 different hues of blue dotted the water with white sand, along with waves gently crashing against the rocks. “Dollface, look at this place. It’s beautiful.” “Yes, my love, it’s a dream come true.” Bucky planted a lingering kiss on her lips. “Oh good grief, get a room already,” Sam teased the happy couple. Bucky flipped him off!!!

The ferry shuttle to “The Isle of Tranquility” arrived and everyone boarded. The view was fascinating. Tony’s estate could be seen over the horizon. Wanda and Nat enjoyed the feeling of nothingness; no training or missions. Just rest, relaxation and rejuvenation!!!

The ladies had a wing to themselves and were treated to a massages, manicures and pedicures. The guys enjoyed the ultimate man cave! Pool tables, video arcade, projection televisions, fully stocked bar and food for days. Bucky and Steve engaged in a rousing game of pool, while Sam, Clint, Scott, and Bruce played video games. Thor, Tony, Rhodey and Nick watched a football game on the massive television. Vision took a stroll on the beach. This was a new experience for him.

***

Nightfall beckoned them to the beach for dinner. Y/N stopped Tony on their way to the table. “Oh Tone, this is more than we could ever dream of. Thank you so much for making our wedding extraordinary.” “Hey, you and Ice Man deserve it. Just be happy and name your first kid Anthony Edward Barnes.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll have to talk to Bucky about that. I love you.” “Love you too kiddo. Now, let the pre-wedding festivities commence!!!” Succulent island dishes were served as laughter and conversation filled the air.

Wedding Day

Y/N stood on the balcony, sipping coffee, as pink and yellow streaks ushered in the sunrise. Her mind drifted to Bucky. In a few hours, she would become his wife.

Nat walked up and stood by her side. “Are you ready to become Mrs. Barnes?”

“I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life, Nat. I love him so much.”

“I know Y/N/N and he loves you too. C’mon let’s get this day started.”

The ladies linked arms and walked back inside to eat, then on to hair, make-up and getting dressed.

The Union of James Buchanan Barnes and Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N

The white canopies adorned with beautiful blue and white flowers dotted the patio. White chairs with cobalt blue seat pads. Pepper kept it simple, but elegant. In the background was the ocean. The sun rays danced on the water and gave the impression of twinkling stars.

The atmosphere was laid back, only a select few were in attendance.

Soft violin and harp strings strummed in the background.

Bucky, best man Steve and his groomsmen took their places at the altar.

First down the aisle was Wanda, followed by Dr. Cho.

Afterwards, Natalia made her entrance.

All eyes were transfixed on the entry of Y/N. As the bridal march played, everyone stood.

Tony and Sam stood in the back waiting to walk her down the aisle.

Bucky’s eyes watered as she began her decent towards him.

Wow, she looks like a dream Stevie.”

“Yes she does Buck.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. Even Nick Fury turned his head to compose himself.

After walking Y/N to her waiting fiancé, Tony and Sam gave her a kiss on the cheek.

True to his word, Thor, via the internet, officiated their wedding. When time came for the vows, Bucky and Y/N wrote their own:

Y/N

I’ve always believed everyone has a soul mate; that one, unique person picked and set aside just for them. But being the cynic, the idea of a soul mate didn’t register with me until I met you, James Buchanan Barnes. One look into those bright azure blue-grey eyes melted my hardened heart and turned my empty world completely upside down. My love, you’re the strongest, kindest and gentle man I know. You’re my protector, rock, lover and best friend. God truly showed out when he created you. Thank you for taking my barren heart, filling it with love so deep and pure. I’ll love you till the end of my days and beyond. You’re my first, my last, my everything!

Bucky

My Angel, I’m so nervous my hands are sweating, but here goes. You came into my life during a really bad spell. My nightmares had become unbearable and I was withdrawn. Truth be told, I wanted to end it all. But one day, you walked into the common room, smiled at me and I was bitten. At that moment, a heavy weight lifted from my worn shoulders and the sun was bright again. I mean, look ‘atcha. You’re a goddess. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. And you actually wanna spend the rest of your life with me. Doll, you chased away the demons that had me bound; took this broken man and put me back together again. I’ll love you till the day I die ‘cuz there’s no one else I’d rather have in my life than you.

TAGS: @bionic-buckyb @omalleysgirl22 @amrita31199 @theimpossibleg1rl @sgtjamesbuchananbarnes107th @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @commvnderdamerons @erisjade @goody2shoessmut @goodnightwife @papi-chulo-bucky @deals-with-demons @cant-stop-the-fandoms @dretjie12 @nenyakj @just-another-fanfiction-writer @captainbuckybarnes @supersoldierslover @gaybybirth @redgillan @gingerbatchwife @irene-rogue-adler @flirtswithdanger @rhyjr2

[derangedroyalfae]

January 31, 2019 10:35PM

Royal (1:25 PM) I got some personal lyrics written today...

I suppose when it’s very genuine and personal, they are so easy and fast to write

I got the full song written, 2 verses, chorus, bridge, and even an outro

I’m usually not very good with bridges, but I like this one

Jewel (8:52 PM): Lyrics are good though

Royal (8:52 PM): Thanks...

On the bright side, even if it feels like I’m having a hard time getting along with him, at least he’s having fun with his metamours and whatnot

Jewel (8:55 PM): Oh, I actually hadn't guessed who it was about but now I got it

Cuz I assumed it was a character and not a real life person

Royal (8:55 PM): You’re literally the only one I’ve shared this with who I personally know, by the way

I haven’t shown/told Hummingbird or Kitty yet

To be fair, the lyrics did just come in today on my bus ride home and then everything else just kinda been floating on by

Jewel (8:57 PM): Oh, wow

Do you plan to show it to them?

Royal (8:58 PM): Maybe. Just cuz as special others, you should want to know what’s going on, what’s troubling you, etc

To be honest, you remember that night I was really struggling?

I was telling you how I wasn’t sure I should tell them about how I was feeling toward him

Well, on the ride home, I opened up and confessed to Kitty. I just couldn’t hold it in

But I’m glad I did

I really need to talk to at least one of them about what’s going on else it just seems like it’s out of nowhere when it resurfaces and like it’s not a reoccurring thing

It was unbiased toward him and not about her own personal feelings, just focusing on how I was and wanting to comfort me

So I know that it’s not a problem of bias when it comes to opening up to them, I know that they are good metamours

They’re very good listeners, it’s much easier talking to them than it is Nurd half the time

He tries to help too much, but sometimes I’m not looking for a solution...he’s also a debater, and that doesn’t help either

And by help too much, I mean in every way possible, everywhere or anyone

It’s concerning, cuz I don’t want him to get hurt or swindled. But it’s also rude to a certain extent and invasive, not everyone wants some stranger eavesdropping. And employees can NOT let customers help (which he seems to forget so he’ll just keep insisting).

Jewel (9:06 PM): Wait, as in, he tries to help out even at work and when you're having a conversation that doesn't involve him?

Royal (9:07 PM): Random strangers, he’ll offer help/advice if he overheard or witnessed problems

Employees at stores moving certain things, he’ll offer to lend a hand (they legally can’t accept his help)

I suppose, it could partly be a cis male thing, being unafraid of the consequences and putting yourself out there

Assigned females are raised to keep your head down and to yourself, drawing attention is your fault and could get you raped or hurt

Jewel (9:09 PM): I guess at least in the employees case, worst outcome is he'll get turned down

And it might even make them feel glad someone even wants to help

Royal (9:09 PM): Yeah, be he insists and so it gets annoying to them

Jewel (9:09 PM): Oh

Royal (9:11 PM): Most topics I like (yandere, lgbt, feminist, etc) are things he seems to hate and is annoyed by, or at least it feels like it half the time

I know it’s probably not most, but it feels like he’s so annoyed with what I have to say

What I want to talk about...

And it’s almost mutual

Like, I don’t really wanna hear about half the crap he talks about either

Jewel (9:12 PM): But what did you used to talk about?

Royal (9:12 PM): He needs friends

Before dating?

Or when we started dating

Or both

Jewel (9:13 PM): Before, after, any time you remember having a conversation you found engaging or spending time with him you enjoyed

Royal (9:14 PM): I used to mainly talk about my stories, he was a lore hound and ate it up (well, he never said he enjoyed it, just likes listening to or feels inclined to listen to stories whether or not he likes the story)

We were also a friend group, so we’d be in group conversations

Especially over nerdy stuff

They’d usually play video games together on their computers and I’d be doing my thing on my computer

But for the time spent together as a couple: we’d watch a lot of movies together, be sexual, or nap...not that much talking persay

I feel weird thinking about this

I also started meds right after we started dating

I think the worse thing is, though, Jewel, is that I’m transitioning

I’m blossoming, I’m being me, but I can’t do that in front of him

I’m invalidating myself by being with him

Invalidating doesn’t even scratch the surface

Jewel (9:19 PM): I understand. Relate to that too, very much.

Royal (9:19 PM): I don’t even like saying that I’m wearing a packer or talk about them around him cuz I feel him cringe from it

He literally flinched when I jokingly told Cat I was trying to grow a penis

And then talked to me about it later, starting with, “how far are you trying to go?” I can’t remember if he meant it in general or with just HRT. I think it was with HRT

To which I reminded him that he’s known from the beginning

Jewel (9:21 PM): It seems to me rather that he's been in denial and can't be anymore

Royal (9:21 PM): But he brought up my joke of growing a dick when asking

And when I reminded him, he is just like “I know”

It’s almost unpleasant to be around him anymore (not just because of the transition thing, this relates back to everything else)

And when I’m at Hummingbird and Kitty’s it almost feels like I can’t be with them if he’s there, like, I have to prioritize him cuz he’s to homophobic/transphobic to be in a cuddle pile with them

But he’d never see it that way

He’d never see himself as transphobic

I’m wouldn’t even ask him to touch them in anyway, I’d be between him and them, but it feels like that’d be something that’d make him ungodly uncomfortable

Not because they’re my lovers, but because they were born with a Y chromosome

Jewel (9:26 PM): Like if they were cis he'd be totally fine with it?

Royal (9:27 PM): Cis women? Yes

Not even post-op trans

Doesn’t matter if the dick isn’t there anymore

He said it himself - “socially I see them as women, sexually I see them as men”

Because of facial features, arm muscles, fat distribution

Jewel (9:29 PM): Oh gawd

I couldn't help but cringe at that

Royal (9:29 PM): Bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit

Do you realize how much more worse it makes me feel to hear people say that?

Do you realize that it’s nothing I haven’t thought already

Because it just makes me wanna vomit or cry repeating it

I feel like screaming

Jewel (9:30 PM): Wait that "you" is him, right, just clarifying

I got confused for a moment thinking you meant me

Royal (9:31 PM): No, you, Kitty, Hummingbird

“That’s cringe”

Jewel (9:31 PM): Ohhh

Royal (9:31 PM): “That’s insulting”

“That’s wrong”

I’ve felt that way, if not worse

I usually respond with “how do you think I feel?”

Jewel (9:32 PM): No, I understand, and I'm not implying otherwise

Royal (9:32 PM): “I’m in love with him, and I almost find myself hating me for that”

No, I know

But it reminds me that I’m sickened

It makes me feel like there’s something wrong that I’m with him

But then it does feel that’s the case when I look at the fact that I’m transitioning

But it makes me angry that he’d give me a chance but not someone else

Because he’s always just seen me as a girl, hasn’t he?

Jewel (9:34 PM): Did you ever ask him what he intends to do or why he's been with you? I can understand if it's hard and you haven't.

Royal (9:34 PM): Of course

He just plans on masturbating

I’m not losing anything when it comes to not having sex with him, I can live with that, but bullshit that he’d be content with that

And he doesn’t want to go find himself another partner

He only wants me, he’s said

I want someone to love him for the things I can’t

For someone to care about him and be there for him when I can’t or won’t

Jewel (9:37 PM): What does he do when he's not around you?

Royal (9:37 PM): In terms of sex?

Jewel (9:37 PM): You said he needs friends

So it seems like he doesn't socialize much?

Royal (9:38 PM): He sits in his room either playing video games or watching Netflix

I don’t think he really messages his Bay Area friends on a normal basis, and his Discord DnD group sounds to be falling apart

But I think he needs physical people in his life too

People he can chill with

So I’m glad he’s been joining game night and whatnot, I feel like telling the guys that if they really get along with him, invite him out for other things etc

I think going back to school would help too

I know I felt lost in the cosmos without school

Cuz then he can make friends and a community there too

He does work right now, but working isn’t a social life. He’s not hanging out with his coworkers outside of work, so I don’t think it counts

Jewel (9:45 PM): Yeah, school does help

Is he not planning to go back to school?

Royal (9:47 PM): He is and was

But we got his stuff in too late this semester

It’s better to start in fall anyway

But I was so annoyed with the process and how he practically needed me to hold his hand for almost all of it and screwed up and got himself incredibly confused and was working on it for like over a year when it took me like a week or two

I was racking my brain over how he was struggling so much

Like, he seems to be so much smarter and whatnot than me

Jewel (9:51 PM): What was he struggling with exactly?

Royal (9:52 PM): Tbh, I was confused and he seemed misinformed

Like, he believed he couldn’t give his transcript until such-and-such was done, and the he could make this-and-that appointment or whatever until whatnot

Etc

It was just ??????????

He also mailed his transcript to himself instead of directly to the school, so I made him do it again but to the school since you get 3 free transcripts

So use up 2/3 but he won’t need the third hopefully, and even then, it’s like $5-$15 for one anyway

Jewel (9:55 PM): Wow, seems to me he has a tendency to think things are more complicated than they are?

Royal (9:55 PM): He over thinks things

And he’s super paranoid

You know about him and online shopping, right?

(And most things that involve him using his card)

Royal (10:05 PM): It’s interesting how part of the convo (before getting into the money thing) was some references to the song I wrote

Like, the whole thing with me beginning to feel like we both don’t care about the other’s interests atm “You looked so annoyed again today

I messed up once more

I guess it mutual, by the way

It all feels like such a bore”

“And now it’s like whatever it is I say

I say it wrong”

Me and transitioning and how I keep that suppressed around him “I’ve limited who I am

When it’s next to you that I stand

It starts to feel so fake

When it’s truly me that you can’t take”

Him not wanting to be sexual with a trans person but wanting me to be his only partner ”You love me, maybe still want me, never want to leave me”

It’s almost like we’re going through the song and analyzing it, maybe just not in order

Jewel (10:13 PM): Yeah

Also, I know this is all really hard on you and you of course still love and care for him, but it's good you're thinking about it and not avoiding it. And I'm glad I can be there for you about it in whatever small way I can.

Royal (10:14 PM): By “thinking about it,” you mean the transition thing?

Or do you just mean me struggling to connect with him at all nowadays

Like I’m not just throwing it in a closet and forgetting about it until it festers and boils

Jewel (10:26 PM): I mean about him

Yeah, that second thing, basically

Royal (10:29 PM): thanks, by the way

[valeriemperez]

Yeah, at first I was worried that maybe they would introduce the idea of Iris having moved on next season but then I thought about it and whether they ever draw a direct parallel or not, I still think we got that story about Barry's great-grandparents for a reason. I think the start of S4 we'll see an Iris West(-Allen) who has been waiting for her Barry and wracking her brain trying to find ways to get him back. This is a temporary detour. I still expect a wedding in S4.

Yes, precisely. Ever since we got that proposal speech in 3.14, we felt it was going to become a prophecy. Obviously Iris still has the ring in this case, but when Barry gets back he will find Iris has been waiting for him.

Not that she won’t be living her life in other respects!

Imagine this: While Barry is in the speedforce, Iris gets asked to write an article on his disappearance (or something related to it). Later on, after Barry’s out, that’s the article Iris wins a Pulitzer for.

I would love that! I also expect we’ll get another episode of the brother-sister crime-fighting unit in the premiere.

Do you think that they will do a time jump and have Barry in the speedforce for like two years or it will be less than 6 mos when Iris pulls him out? Do you believe that something bad has to happen in CC that the SFis like okay Barry you learned your lesson and now we need you to be a hero and they’ll be more willing to let him go. ITA that they will not give IW a new BF bc they have shown us WA strong bond.TBH, I don’t even want her to consider dating bc she mourned ET for a yr and Barry is (1)(2) and Barry is her soul mate and I just don’t want to see a third party play any role in their lives. I don’t even want us even putting the idea out there in the universe. I think once Barry returns, we will get a much happier Barry and more lovely scenes between Westallen. Plus, they have a wedding to plan.

I don’t expect a huge time jump, if only because they have seemed to keep to the hiatus lengths so far whether or not it makes sense. But it’ll be enough time to something to be different, probably a different status quo for Iris and Joe at work.

I don’t know if the speedforce will let him out to stop whatever new bad thing emerges, or if the team (read: Iris) will have to convince it to. Either way, his ass will be out by the end of 4.01.

So do you think there’s a possibility of no Barry for a few episodes or no Barry at all ( given gg might be otherwise occupied for filming). If he does come back ( which I hope he does) will Iris have had the twins or still preggers or just focused on her career and became #1 tv reporter ?

I honestly do not think so. Grant/Barry will be in every episode. I don’t think Iris will be pregnant, that’s too soon for the show to make her a mom. But I do think she’ll be chasing stories and hopefully one of them leads us to Devoe.

I’m worried they’ll give iris a love interest.Iris didn’t mourn E for a almost a year, that scene was an after thought in 2b cuz they were just busy with B&P romance to think about Iris’ love life and moving on.I think we should tweet them to not ruin WA like that

Even if she wasn’t actively mourning Eddie for a year, she didn’t think about romance until 2B. And it can’t hurt to tweet the writers so they know we love Iris for her loyalty, haha. I don’t think they’ll have her move on, though.

I love that you watch jtv and you’re a JanexRaf shipper and Westallen! I’m always validated when my ships have crossovers, especially since JanexRaf shippers are going through the wringer every other moment. Shipping Westallen is so easy compared to them lol

Oh, man. It’s been rough watching JTV and shipping Jane/Rafael. But they’ll pull through!

Fam, we all know Barry is going to bring his @$$ out of the speedforce when he pulls out his phone (which he didn’t have time to leave) and sees that video of Iris saying her wedding vows to him. He’s already delivered the invitations. The good thing about this ending is when he comes out of the SF, they’re engaged and not starting all over. 401 KF will still be at large, Joe will get his promotion. Julian will reveal the last husk to be Clifford DeVoe 🙄

Oooh, interesting predictions. I do think the speedforce will be like, “Ok, go on home to your lightning rod.” 

So why BA had to go into the SF again? Like why there had to be a speedster there at all times? Say Jesse visits from E3 & volunteers to step in, would SF refuse bc it had 2 be Barry, paying price for FP? Taking how SF pushed BA to save Iris in 316, it’s strange it separated them in the end after she was saved.

To be fair, Barry didn’t save Iris. HR did, then Cisco and Iris respectively saved Barry. Maybe if Barry had actually saved Iris, the speedforce would leave him alone. But I think they really wanted him to take a nap.

Loved the finale BUT I think the very end was a bit rushed ina way. I mean usually ppl don’t have a lot of time to make those sacrifice decisions but the “I have to do this & leave you here but at least you’re alive to live you life and move on and accept your new path without me” was a bit pretentious. Then again it’s Barry, he would rather suffer himself so other people didn’t. I think the SF will recognize his free will to go in & pay this price & will let him go rather quick.

I loved the final scene, but I agree that it felt a little rushed. There was a lot of ground to cover in the finale. The speedforce loves Barry, so they’ll let him go when he’s served his time.

[thelifetimechannel]