#cuz this one guy found me in a comment section and was like what did i do :/

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

keep forgetting to post this but um shoutout to any real rhys’/rhysands out there, i promise my tiktok user isn’t about you😭🙏🏿

[k-white]

Thank yoi for tagging me🥰

I wanna do this cuz we are halfway done and this feels like a good place to make a character ranking

I don't remember if I did one before the show aired but weirdly enough it didn't change much from the old one(only exeption being Chuem and in her section I will explain why)

1. Ray

Does it come as a shoker from one with Ray as her pfp since ep1 until now? But really I ADORE HIM TO THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! He is an amazing character so nuanced and layered with such amazing acting(did we expect less from king Khaotung?) His struggles with addictions, his family tragedy that sparked the addiction, his feelings for both Mew and Sand, how he made mistakes from ep one and consistently realized them and apologised I just love him so much and I also wanna just kidnap him and take him(and Sand) away from his toxic friends and just hug him and tell him that he matters that he isn't a burden that he is loved constantly

Since the actual trailer I knew he would be my favourite and I was right

2. Sand

Shoker I have him as second wow act surprised, jokes aside I loved him from ep 1 but back then it was mostly cuz he is played by First but then little by little we saw more of our favourite broke musitian and what I saw was perfect he is such a strong character: headstrong, resilient, hard working, intelligent, he doesn't take shit from anybody and isn't scared to use people aginst who wronged him(I loved his stunt in ep6 even tho Ray ended up as collateral damage and Sand felt so guilty for that) but he is also vulnerable and he is just a scared little boy afraid of beeing left aside again(thanks a lot ex!) and as I said I just wanna take him and Ray away so that they can be happy I just love this 2 so much T_T

3. Mew

Ok so Mew... I for the longest time couldn't understand him at all regarding hos feelings for Top like whst does he see in him? and also his relationship with his friends is kinda shitty like yes he is the most sound of the 4 yes he is more caring but he doesn't seem close to any of them, even Ray yes he is the closest to Ray but I feel like Ray is the one putting all the effort into the friendship amd Mew just takes him for granted and even after he TW *saw him attempt to kill himself* he still doesn't treat him that different from the others and never discourages them to not call him a burden or beliettling him, and in ep6 e still allowed Ray to make a piraya out of himself even tho he already knew about the cheating and was concotting his little revenge plan AND STILL PUMCHED RAY(I get that Ray was in a rampage and nothing would stop him but still) he allowed Ray to do all that just cuz he wanted to keep the sharade to fool Top...

that beeing said I loved him at the end of the ep and I am so ready for his revenge(only reason he is this high)

4. Nick

Over all I do still like him more than Mew but I cannot put him above 4 cuz this boy is hopeless... this man fell for Boston onesaided, wiretrapped Bostons car and found him and Top hoking up and cheating, liatened to said recordning on a dayly base to torment himself(damn Nick) told Top to stay away from Boston, told Sand about it, witnessed Bosotn trash Ray and Sand down, was told multiple times Boston is trash by multiple people AND YET he still is in love with this ASSHOLE??? NICK WAKE UP AMD HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT PLEASE! I still feel pity for him but man this guy is hopeless

He even changed his style and started working out to pelase BOSTON! Yeah he is 4 cuz he does have a somewhat cute relationship with Sand and he isn't a bad person just pathetic and with selfesteem issues(can relate to that)

5. Chuem

Ok so first of all I wanna say that I thought I would like her a lot more at the start of the show but now? Eh not that much, first of all she has less screen time than all of them so that influences it but also what we see of her and her comments to her friends I don't like them so much: with Mew she seems to judge his worth based on his virginity and if he has a relationship or not, with Top she is way too obsessed pushing Mew to be with him keeping him on a selfcreated pedestal valuing him as an object more than a person a prize to win(I might not like Top but even then sheesh), she consantly slut shame Boston the other do it too even Ray tho the reason Ray did it was mostly cuz Boston hurt Mew in the process but she does it the most, and lastly Ray DAMNIT she completely disregards Ray! she might have said nice stuff to him 2 years prior but in the present she barely aknoledge him and when she does she beliettles him she even ignored him unconciouly in ep6 when she made the comment about them all beeing in a relationship and only AFTER April commented on Ray beeing the only one not in one did she aknoledge him so this are the reasons she is this low hoping she improuves (I think she actually could get better she is the only one I have hope for exept SandRay to get better) also her relarionship with April is cute and they are the only one able to comunicate

6. Boston

Here he is: the main Bitch, the drama stirrer, the manipulative gaslighting mansplainer of a man I hate him so much and the reason he isn't last place is cuz I LOVE HATING HIM and he would have been above all and be at 3rd place if he didn't mess with RaySand! if he kept targeting TopMew and used Nick I would have had no problem having him at number3 BUT he messed with Rays head he literally took his misery and anger on Ray and Sand in ep5 and he keeps treating Ray as shit and sorry but if you mess with MY RAY? You mess with me dog! So he is here not last place cuz still he is the drama and without him there would be no show(but also without him SandRay could actually be somewhere now and not in the mess they are in) so not last place and also he is fun to watch cuz Neo has been doing a FENOMENAL JOB!

7. Top

There he is the Top Tear at the bottom of the list!(pun intended) from the mock trailer I had a feeling he would be my least favourite character and sorry but he still is, I get why people would like him more after the last epiodes but sorry not me, he is an arrogant motherfucker too smug for his own good has no problem beeing nasty to others(mostly SamdRay and you know the drill) does NO selfreflection! like if Ray didn't spill the beans this man was more than ready to keep the cheating in the dark! keeping up a lie! and he still sees Mew as a conquest over Ray and Mew himself and also his face gives me the ick and I wanma punch him every second he os on screen, and please Mew rip him to shreds! he deserves it!

OF Favorites Rankings

I did this once before the series aired, but I thought it’d be fun to rank the core characters in OF in the middle of the series’ run and once more at the end.

I’m gonna tag some of my active OF moots here (and some new OF friends as well!) if any of you want to play too—no pressure at all! And of course, even if you aren’t tagged, please feel free to play along! I’m super curious to see how opinions have changed from the beginning to the middle to the end. :)

@abstractelysium @nihilisticcondensedmilk @just-gm @firstkanaphans @prapaiwife @dreamedofyou @sandrayy @fanfictionroxs @khaopybara @tiedankelstotheocean @thegalwhorants @autisticbokutoenthusiast @itsmelb @way-too-indecisive @k-white @waitmyturtles

1. Sand

Of course it was going to be Sand in first place (get it…First place?)

He might be morally dubious in Ep6, but if anything, that makes him more endearing to me (don't ask me how). If they all play dirty, he can play dirty too. Plus, he's just got the vibe. The t-shirts, the jackets, the boots, the independence. The superior music taste? Mans has it all except for money. Though tbh, the moment that solidified Sand as my favorite was when he ran after Ray at the end of Ep6--he was just dealt a personal attack by Ray in front of everyone, but he doesn't even hesitate to go after him. And that is the marker of a ✨ favorite character ✨

2. Ray

Naturally, both Sand and Ray have taken the top spots (pun intended), and it's because I have a special place in my heart for "woobified" characters (did I use that right @waitmyturtles? 😂)...and Khaotung executes his layers so beautifully. Ray did go in for a nonconsensual kiss (which he later apologized for, but I digress) and he did hash out some pretty brutal insults last episode. Irrespective of his feelings for Sand, it's indisputable that he has used him in some aspect to distract himself from Mew. So for all that, Ray is also morally dubious--but I'll use the term realistic instead.

I just want to give him a hug and tell him that he matters. Because clearly that is something he's heard only a few times in his life. And maybe if he heard it more often, we could avoid situations like the one at the end of Ep6.

3. Nick

I’m having a bit of an inner battle with myself over this one because Nick came out of the gate with some very immoral behavior, and yet I’m still putting him above Mew, because something about him is just so…pitiful. Admittedly, I've been growing more and more frustrated with him as the series goes on and he still fights for Boston's affection when Boston has proven time and time again that he just doesn't care. Boston keeps him on a rope, and in some ways I sympathize with Nick's struggles, because it isn't easy to turn the feelings off once they've already been cemented. But alas. He's digging himself further and further into this hole.

4. Mew

A lot of my gripes with Mew have been in respect to his treatment of Ray, but I go back and forth because I do understand the mental toll it must take on him. Regardless of whether or not he's responsible for helping Ray through his mental issues, as his closest friend, I think it should've been him running after Ray at the end of Ep6. Yeah, Ray said some shitty things about everybody, but Ray has only ever wanted what is best for Mew. And Mew was going to watch him run off and potentially get himself killed, even after Ray admitted what Top had done. Something about that just doesn't sit right with me.

Despite all of this, Mew does appear to be the most level-headed of the group (alongside Sand, though that was put to the test last ep). And the moment he played TopBoston’s sex audio right in Top’s ear? Phenomenal. He nailed that execution. I will laugh when he's on his revenge kick next week.

5. Cheum

Cheum is this low firstly because she doesn't get a lot of screen time, and secondly because she's made some comments that are a little questionable too. I can't remember who said it, but someone pointed out just how often she references how lucky Mew is to be with Top--which is a little strange, looking at him like he's some big prize. Also, not to bring everything back to Ray but...she contributes to the "burden" discussion quite a few times.

I do really enjoy the small snippets we've gotten of her with April. I like that they finally gave their relationship a little bit more context in Ep6. They do seem to have some pretty solid communication (at least compared to the others) so I'm pleased with that.

6. Top

I know a lot of people have felt sorry for Top. And I understand that completely. I struggle to given that he not only cheated but lied about the cheating--and likely would never have admitted to it. For Mew, someone who values communication and honesty so strongly, it's like a punch to the face. I hope Top gets what's coming to him. (Also, stealing Sand's boyfriend? Wtf dude.)

7. Boston

Not much to explain about this one--I can understand why he is some peoples' favorite for the sole reason that he is the one creating all the conflict in the first place. But he's so twisted, manipulative, and careless that I just want Mew to kick him into that pool a hundred times over. I don't expect him to rise from last place by the end, but if he does, it'll be a miracle.

[cleacc]

THE NEW STUDENT

*This is a different storyline from Stranger Things but I'm using the characters. Hope you'll like it! :))*

*This is my first time writing in Tumblr soooo im sorry if it's a mess :))*

Warnings: None. If there is, please write it in the comment section.

Y/N and Jonathan are in their last class which is science. Y/N's eyes are already closing when someone came rushing through the door.

"Oh! Here comes our new student! Kinda late isn't it? But let's hear what he's about to say." - Mr. Lupin said.

"I'm sorry uhm i don't have a car so I had to walk— or should I say run— to come here."

"Oh that's okay! But I'm hoping you could get a ride pretty soon Mr. Ballard you can't do this everyday."

"Yes sir."

"Oh class, this is Mr. Peter Ballard our new student. Please take a seat next to Y/N. Y/N please raise your hand."

Y/N Found herself staring into nothing, that's why when the teacher called her she got surprised.

"Oh! Ah, sorry? Yes?" Said Y/N.

"That's Ms. Y/N Mr. Ballard you can go seat next to her."

"Oh yes! Uh here..." Y/N said while pointing at the seat next to her.

Peter proceeds to sit next to her.

"Y/N right?" He asked

"Yes yes!" Y/N said still a little surprised.

"Y/N????" Asked peter waiting for her answer

"Y/L/N" (your last name)

"Ohhh... Peter Ballard" Peter said while pointing at himself.

"Yeah i know."

"Ms. Y/N you're the one assigned to Mr. Ballard okay? Show him the whole school."

"Alright."

*The bell rings*

Y/N and Peter are leaving the classroom when Jonathan approached them.

"Hey Y/N" Called jonathan

"Yes?" Y/N turned to look at him.

"Are we still going to go home together?"

"Well you can go ahead. I'm going to Tour Mr. Ballard here so that he knows where to go"

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm still going to get Will soooo yeah we're going to wait for you"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure! I'll see you later!"

"Yeah!"

"You and byers go home together?" Peter asked while they are walking to the gymnasium.

"Yes. Our house are close to each other."

"Can I come with you guys? I don't have a ride." Asked peter.

"Yeah sure, i have a bicycle and Jonathan and Will too." (Let's just pretend that they have a bicycle as their ride cuz that's cute)

"But i have to ask Jonathan first for y'know, respect."

"Oh okay."

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

"This is the gymnasium. We come here when there's an important event. Like Basketball and meetings or assembly. Just like last year."

"Last year?" Asked peter.

"Yes. When Will got missing, Jonathan's younger brother, the school held a meeting/assembly for him. Jonathan is not there tho because he's busy giving the flyers."

"Where did he got found?"

"We don't know actually. The only thing we knew was that he's missing and his mom and the chief found him. It's such a relief that he's okay."

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

"Here's the cafeteria. Y'know there's a rumor that lunch lady Phyllis is hoarding the chocolate puddings."

"Who?"

"Hey! Get out of here! The cafeteria is already close!" Said lunch lady Phyllis.

"Sorry Ms. Phyllis! I just have to tour the new student!"

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

"Jonathan! Peter wants to join us when we're going to school and going home from school. Is it okay with you guys?"

"Yes it's fine for me." Said Jonathan

"What about you will?"

"Will?"

"Will? Hey will!" Jonathan is shaking him.

"Sorry. Uh... yeah?" Said will with sweat in his forehead and hands.

"Are you okay?" Asked jonathan with concern in his voice.

"Ok." Said Will a bit pale.

"Sooo as we can see I'm the only one who has a back seat on my bike soooo peter you ride with me." Said Y/N tapping the back seat of her bicycle.

"Okay."

"Peter if you keep squeezing my shoulders we'll die." Said Y/N chuckling.

"My waist. Peter."

"What?" Peter asked a little flustered

"My waist. Hold on to my waist."

Peter put his hands on Y/N's waist shaking.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Jonathan and will is already home and Y/N and Peter is still on the road.

"Here." Said peter.

Y/N stopped the bicycle.

"Oh! This is your house? We're pretty close to each other!"

"Yeah." Peter said while getting off the bike.

"Soooo me and Jonathan usually get ready at 5:30-6:00 and i always come to his house at 6:15. Now that you're here, I'm going to you first before going to Jonathan's house."

"Okay."

*Awkward silence*

"Uhm... You should get your lights fixed. It's blinking" Said Y/N changing the topic.

"Oh yeah about that." Peter scratches the back of his neck.

"I haven't really unpack yet so I'm using the old lights the old owners left." Peter said.

"Oh okay! I hope your lights is fixed by tomorrow! See you!"

"See you! Thank you for the ride!"

"Be ready at 6:15!" Y/N said getting ready to leave.

"Yes!." Said peter.

Y/N drove off.

When peter got inside of his house the lights are now blinking rapidly.

[roscgcld]

I literally just can't stop thinking about daydreaming!reader??? She's too precious I love her!! I like to think she's like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde.

Like imagine her friends being stuck on some kind of math equation or smth and she just means over, looks at him and hums, grabs a pen and solves that shit in like a minute 💀💀💀 The guys looking at her like "👁👄👁 how did you do that?" and she just smiles at them confused and says "what? Like it's hard??" lmaoooooo

Also, her being into fashion!! She'd drag whoever's with her to as many clothing shops as possible and makes them sit through her trying on like 43 different items.

One time a salesperson tried to sell her a last season dress from the clearance section for the full price and she was like "!!! oh!!! Is this a low-viscosity rayon? With half-loop top-stitching on the hem?" and the salesperson is like "uhhh yea absolutely. We just got it in yesterday actually. It's one of a kind." and she just looked them dead in the eye with a smile and says smth like "lol no you didn't I remember seeing this dress in a Vogue issue like a year ago. If you're trying to sell it to me for full price, you picked the wrong girl :)" and whoever's with her at the time just stares at her shocked cuz they just learned their cute lil baby reader is actually not as dumb as she lets on lmaooo

Bonus: her and Nobara definitely bonded over fashion 👀

I am glad you love her - am glad i’ve help give birth to such a baby lol. and OH MY GOD!!! NOW THAT YOU MENTIONED IT, SHE IS!

A fellow smart but dumb bimbo loooool. 

I can see it:

Megumi and Yuji just looking down at the add math equation that Maki had found online, Megumi trying to solve it more than Yuji since Yuji is a whole ass himbo himself. Daydreaming!reader returned to the class they were chilling in with a tray of iced tea, tilting her head at how three of them were pretty much hunched over the desk with Megumi typing away on the calculator. “What are you guys doing?”

“Oh. Maki-senpai found a math equation online and we’ve been trying to solve it for a while now.” Yuji admitted as she placed the tray down, pouring everyone a glance of iced tea as she looked the question over from Megumi’s shoulder; the raven-haired boy just moving aside a little to give her a better look. Wordlessly she grabbed his pencil from his hand, writing down the rest of the equation with ease. She didn’t even need to use a calculator, just humming softly to herself as she writes the rest of it down; putting the right answer at the end. “There, should be right.”

She had not noticed the stares she was getting from Megumi and Maki as Yuji had handed her the cup, having not noticed what his senpai was doing when he was pouring the drinks. “H-How?!” Maki asked in shock as she slapped her hand against the table, causing both her and Yuji to jump as they looked over at her with wide eyes. Even poor Megumi had jumped a little at how loud she was. “How did you solve that so quickly?! Without a calculator at that?!” 

She just blinked at Maki in confusion, taking a sip from her cup. “Was it supposed to be hard?” Was the simple question tossed to both Maki and Megumi, who both blinked at the girl owlishly as Yuji asked if she wanted to see a cute dog video; the girl bounding over to her kouhai, both of them giggling and cooing at the video of the shiba puppy playing on the screen of his phone.

The other is probably Nobara and Yuji, since they are the only two are willing to go out shopping with her besides Yuta. But since Yuta is currently outstation, Yuji and Maki have become your go-to shopping buddies. Usually Yuji is just your bag carrier since mans is so damn strong lol; just feed him food and he’s all good. Nobara and reader were at some fashion boutique selling a few designer pieces by local artists. 

And if there one thing that daydreaming!reader is good in, is following trends and fashion.

So she might be holding up a dress, smiling down at how cute it looked as she asked Yuji if he liked it; to which he said it was cute, since it did. The employees in the boutique realised awhile ago that she wasn’t the brightest, and had smirked to one another as they spotted a dress on the sales rack that they’ve been struggling to sale for awhile now. So one of the saleswomen grabbed it and walked towards the girl with a perfected smile, asking if she wanted to try it on. 

Reader just looked over the dress before she tilted her head a little, picking it up before she turned it on the hanger; listening to the saleswoman as she tries to sell her the dress, saying how it was the newest and hottest design. She was cut off by reader as she hummed, giving the woman a raised eyebrow. “Last year, this came out last year.” She stated simply, to which the saleswoman zipped her mouth up as the reader started to give her the basic rundown of the designer who created this, and what the inspiration was for the design, and the different materials as well. 

She left the saleswoman blushing in embarrassment as she returned it to the wordless saleswoman with a smile, not registering that she had embarrassed the woman as she waved her off. “Thank you for bringing this to me, but I wouldn’t buy it at full price.” She admitted truthfully before Nobara called out for her, to which she just smiles before she walked towards the other girl wordlessly. 

Needless to say, whenever she returns to the store from time to time, no one dares to make another comment once more lol. 

[helliontherapscallion]

omg pls share the story abt the lecture from that girl’s dad (only if u feel like it) but seriously ppl it’s not that hard to put a mask on to help the spread of a virus. just wear it, it keeps u safe. and for the ppl who don’t care then just wait til it affects u, bcs covid isn’t a game. I just wish ppl were more serious abt it

Ok so sit down and buckle up kiddos and grab some snacks bc this is a helluva ride

Little background info: I have been a section leader for both my junior and senior years now. When the new freshmen came in my first year of being section leader I was hyped as hell. And then this new freshman whips out a lighter and lights it WHILE WE’RE INSIDE THE SCHOOL MIGHT I ADD with a straight face looking off into the distance before we ask her to put it away. She also always has a pocket knife on her that we found on the ground during band camp. I’ll call her POS. 

I tried to like POS I really did, but then she turned out to be a bigoted racist asshole (she also drinks deer blood straight from the corpse and simps over jeffery dahmer so even more red flags). It was extremely hard for me to treat her like I did with the other people in my section, but I managed to treat her the same as the other people and avoided her for the most part (thank god she wasn’t in my subsection I would’ve actually gone insane)

Flash forward to this year. Covid was hitting full force and we had to quarantine for the first two months of our season setting us back by a lot. She was wishywashy about rejoining but as the most senior leader of my section my band director was on my ass about getting a straight answer from her and fast. So I kinda had to force her to give me an answer (which she told me she was doing it quickly which leads me to think she already knew she was doing it) so she already was going into the season hating my guts

When we finally had an in person rehearsal for the first time, she wasn’t wearing a mask so when I asked her where it was she looked at me like I was the dumbass and said in a matter-of-fact tone “it’s in my pocket” and pointed to the confederate flag bandana hanging out of her pocket. Those four words told me that this season was going to be a fuckin long one with her. I just deadpanned (she couldn’t see it tho bc mask, sunglasses, and floppy hat blocking my entire face) and said “I’d rather it be on your face. (band director and marching instructor’s names) will have my ass if they see you not wearing one.” She rolls her eyes and puts it on (at least it was over her nose)

A few months go by with me telling her constantly to put on a mask bc I am responsible for my section and I’d be damned if one of them got sick bc of one idiot being stupid that I could prevent. She is getting madder and madder with each passing rehearsal. 

Band camp rolls around and it changed from 5 13 hour days to 15 3 hour ones and I am already done with her bs. We get our dots and I mentally groan bc she’s next to me for the vast majority of the show. She is between me (an asthmatic) and my close friend (vvv immunocompromised and also hates her, I’ll call her S) so now I’m more worried about covid going around the section. It was in this time that I find out that at least 5 other people out of 20 also have pre existing conditions that make them susceptible. So now I make it even more my mission to make her wear a mask. 

It was in the middle of band camp when she is yet again not wearing a mask (we were just marching without instruments) and I turn to her and as kindly as possible (it was the second time that day) asked her to put on her mask. She once again rolls her eyes and says “ya know, (band director) walked past me 3 times and hasn’t said shit, so I think I’m gonna listen to him and not you.” S and another friend of mine looks over in shock cuz she just talked back to me. They were about to say something but I wove them off. POS wants to fuck with me? Fine. I’ll just go full force with this. She wants petty?? I’ll give her petty, I’ve been holding off all season. 

So I’m marching there for the next twenty minutes quietly seething and counting more aggressively. She’s getting annoyed, but I pull the section leader card and tell her that she needs to be counting as loud as I am bc her feet was lowkey off time. After we break off for a gush and go (very short water break), I go straight to my band director and use my limited water break to tell him what she told me. He apologizes and says that he thought she was just taking a breather. He tells her to put on a mask and she does so and glares at me the rest of the rehearsal. 

She blocks me on all social media and I obviously clown on her in private with the other section leader (he’s more of a pacifist and never really told her to wear a mask which kinda pissed me off but I understood) until she makes a passing comment to my other friend about using the knife she kept in her boot. Now he tells me cuz he’s a good friend and I’m shitting myself at that point bc holy shit I might get shanked. 

I think about telling the band director but I realize that there’s no proof of her saying this and she could easily get out of this so it’s kinda pointless to tell anyone. Plus if she did shank me, she’d get into so much trouble and I’d be laughing at her from my grave/hospital bed. 

Many rehearsals go by and she still refuses to wear a mask so after one rehearsal S and I went to the band director and reminded him about our conditions and told him about how we were worried for our safety (I also told him abotu the other vulunerable ppl in the section) and he says he’s gonna do something. Next rehearsal he gives POS a warning and she begrudgingly wears a mask for the rest of the rehearsal. The next rehearsal rolls by and she isn’t wearing a mask (again) and he sends her home. Major victory for S and I.

The next sectional tho was something I wasn’t expecting. I get there like 10 minutes before it starts like I usually do in a good mood. I get out of my car and go to grab my stuff when a massive white truck with a busted muffler pulls up into the parking space next to me with a cloud of black smoke. The window rolls down and reveals POS’s dad and POS herself in the passanger seat. 

Of course I’m thinking that this is the day I die and start mentally preparing to yell for help to my other section members 100 feet away on the field already.

Mans starts to lecture me saying things like “it’s unhealthy to wear a mask outside bc it’s like a pitri dish under there. 6th grade science!” (I am not joking or overexaggerating with this, he actually said that). I really wanted to say “well, 7th grade science says otherwise, but you wouldn’t know that bc I’m sure you didn’t pass 6th grade, but go off ig” but I didn’t bc I didn’t want to get shanked or disappear randomly. I just tell him that I am only doing what my band director told me to do and that there are tons of people (myself included) that can really get hurt from just being in contact with covid. He says that’s bullshit and tries to tell me that I’m an idiot before I cut him off by telling him once again that I am just trying to protect my section and that the sectional was going to start soon so I didn’t have the time for this. I walk away leaving him trying to keep talking to me and soon enough POS gets out of the car and follows me to the field giving me a smug smile on her unmasked face before she puts it on when she sees the other section leader stroll up. 

Lemme paint the picture for you: this guy (a 6′something burly guy in his 50′s that I know has like two felonies under his belt) pulls up next to me (a 5′2 17 year old ball of anxiety that drives a small yellow car) and starts to borderline yell at me. Traumatizing. I was shaking for the rest of the sectional and I spent the rest of the season looking over my shoulder looking for the glint of a knife swingin at me

Now I’m pretty sure she’s suspended bc she was caught with a knife on school property and she wore a confederate t-shirt to school, but I would be lying if I said I don’t still look over my shoulder or speed up when I drive past her house lmao

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, callofthemoon!

For @callofthemoon​. Have a very merry Christmas, with this themed fic!! <3 I hope this story is a good read for you (: I hope you like it!!

Read On AO3

*****

Suitcases and Snowglobes

Letting his eyes drift over the interior of the loft, Stiles felt his brow furrow. The walls were bare, the few pieces of furniture sparse and far between.

Derek sat on the threadbare couch, his back hunched as he faced away from the teen. The moment was short, but Stiles felt his mouth tug down at the corners as he saw, for a split second, how life for Derek was whenever the rest of the pack wasn't swarming the loft.  Alone .

Feeling his hand flex slightly around the plastic bag he was holding, Stiles cursed as Derek looked over to him and the noise of crinkling plastic, his face expressionless except for his mouth: downturned in a frown. Stumbling forward, Stiles offered him a crooked grin, choosing to bury his previous thoughts at the present, deciding he'd mull over it when he left.

"Merry Christmas, Sourwolf!" He said, his forcibly jovial voice echoing loudly off of the bare walls.

Derek glowered. "Don't call me that."

"Sourpup? Wolfenstein?" He ventured, backing away hastily when Derek made to stand up. "Never mind," He added, dumping the bag onto the counter behind him.

Letting out a drawn-out sigh, Derek gave him another withering glare.

Just as Stiles finished fishing through the contents of the bag, pulling out a bag of Cheetos triumphantly, Scott and Allison entered the loft, arms heaped with gaudy presents wrapped in crinkling paper.

"Hey guys ," Stiles said cheerfully, ignoring Dereks look of disdain as he opened the bag of Cheetos, spraying a cloud of fine, orange dust into the atmosphere.

"Merry Christmas!" Scott chirped, dumping a pile of wrapped gifts on the chipped counter with a thump, immediately turning to envelop Allison in a hug, no doubt the hundredth in the time they'd seen each other that evening.

Stiles watched, inwardly rolling his eyes before he remembered the melancholy thought he'd had about Derek earlier, his eyes flitting to the Alpha still sat on the couch. Derek's eyes were blank once more, also fixed on the couple, but Stiles had learnt to interpret the nuances of the different types of "blank" the alpha displayed. He was upset, seen in the slight grimace and how he was clenching his teeth- the downwards tilt of his eyebrows as he struggled to look ambivalent to the situation.

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Stiles turned away as Derek's eyes turned to him, catching him in the act of analysing his expression. "Right," Stiles said, clapping his hands on his knees and delving into his Cheetos once again. "-lets put on a movie, I'm thinking Home Alone, but suggestions are welcome," He rambled, going over to tug Scott to the couch, giving an amused Allison a cursory glance and a smile.

He grabbed the remote, raising his eyebrows as Derek sighed, indulgently moving to the far edge of the large sofa when Scott and Allison sat down, immediately entwining into a comforting hug at the opposite end. Stiles pressed the remote into Derek's hand, waggling his eyebrows. "I trust you to pick a suitably cheesy Christmas movie, are you up to the task, o' great Alpha?"

"No," Derek said flatly, his hand lax around the remote as he fixed Stiles with an unimpressed glare.

"Knew I could count on you!" Stiles said gleefully, his hand going to pat Derek on the shoulder, then thinking better of it as Derek fixed his hovering hand with an incredulous look.

Just as he headed to the small kitchenette, the loft door opened again, this time for Lydia, Jackson, Erica and Boyd. The previously subdued quiet of the loft rose in volume again when the pack began to interact, Jackson trying to persuade an indignant Scott to let him and Lydia have the spot on the couch as Erica put on a sweet voice as she tried to persuade Derek to let them erect a Christmas Tree in the loft, claiming "-it's not like you don't have space! Plus, you said we needed to bond as a pack- this could be bonding!"

The hubbub washed over Stiles' as he fished in one of the many bags the pack had dropped off containing enough food to feed a large army...or a small wolf-pack. He found the packets of microwaveable popcorn, rifling through them in search of the buttered popcorn, grinning in triumph when he found it. After slamming it into the ancient microwave that sputtered to a start with only a small sizzle, he jumped onto the counter, letting out a drawn-out sigh and closing his eyes as the noises of the pack washed over him once again.

"Stop sitting on my counter."

Stiles jumped, eyes flying open with a start as not even thirty seconds later, Derek stood before him with a suitably chagrined expression on his face. The popcorn let out its first pop, as Stiles turned from the sizzling microwave to Derek again, before reluctantly sliding off of the counter.

Derek stood there, fixing Stiles with an unreadable expression, as Stiles fiddled with the loose hem of his plaid shirt. "Did you...find a good movie?" He asked, for lack of a better comment. The alpha nodded towards the TV, where the silky tones of Hugh Grant filter through the noise of the settling pack.

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around...."

"Love Actually, really?" Stiles grimaced.

"Lydia's choice," Derek explained, Stiles nodding with understanding. The two stood in silent companionship in the kitchenette, whilst the pops of the popcorn began to peter off, the mouth-watering smell of buttered popcorn wafting towards them.

As they stood, Stiles thought about how Derek had gradually eased up as the loft became fuller, as the pack littered themselves and their belongings around the room and lounged across the furniture. Eyeing the bare walls, he found himself unsurprised that the dull interior wasn't a place of solace for Derek.

And then, in the way that inconvenient thoughts often do, one came to him, and wouldn't leave until he took the time to think about it. What if he made the place look a little more liveable? Just little by little, not anything  too  obnoxious or noticeable, he could just...make it a safe place for Derek. One that he could be  happy  in.

Absentmindedly, he got the popcorn out of the microwave, hissing as the bag burnt his hands, nearly dropping the inflated packet until Derek intervened with a sigh. Stiles grinned at him, observing the tiniest uptick of a smile on Derek's face.  Progress.

Letting one end of his headphones dangle down the front of his shirt, Stiles hummed tunelessly as he walked along the aisle, hunched over the shopping cart as he scanned the rows of produce. Slowing to a halt, he eyed a particularly beat-up looking eggplant, the skin dented and bruised, spying a label peaking from the side of the vegetable, he let out a triumphant " aha !" and grabbed the eggplant, nodding in satisfaction at the thirty cents off. Another win for his dad's cholesterol.

Rounding the aisle, he spotted a bedazzled stand, the gaudy letters spelling out " Christmas in Beacon Hills! ". Drawing closer, Stiles grinned as he spotted the snowglobes. He squinted at the little scene inside, an aerial shot of the small town and the surrounding forestry. Blocky letters proclaimed a Merry Christmas to all in Beacon Hills, making Stiles raise his eyebrows, as he stared at the mini figurines of the streets, houses and trees where so many supernatural disasters had occurred. Without a word, he picked a snowglobe up and tossed it into his cart, moving on to the tinned goods aisle.

"Where did this come from?" A confused voice came from behind the couch, making Stiles twist to see. Derek was holding the snowglobe, giving it a cautious shake as though it was going to explode any second.

"Found it whilst grocery shopping" Stiles replied nonchalantly, turning back to the weathered bestiary and flipping to the next page, sighing at yet another page of Archaic Latin. Time for Lydia to step in.

The others looked over inquisitively, Jackson rolling his eyes. "Why is it here?" Derek asked slowly, his tone unimpressed as if he was talking to a particularly slow toddler.

"Decoration?" Stiles shrugged. Derek paused, then slowly put the snowglobe back down, staring as the fake snow settled over the small, fake town. Maybe it could stay.

"Okay, so you fold the first section over the other half, then flatten that down-"

"Why are we doing this?" Jackson demanded, Lydia elbowing him in the ribs without taking her focus off of the origami tree taking shape on the table in front of her.

"Best one gets a prize" Stiles prompted, pushing his phone forwards, a cheerful woman explaining how to turn a piece of paper into a 3D Christmas tree.

"Is it food? 'Cuz we'd get the food anyway," Isaac interjected, making Stiles sigh and chuck a piece of paper at his head that he smoothly caught.

"It's the  principle  of the food, plus, if you win, you get the whole pan of brownies for yourself, you don't have to share," Stiles said smugly, watching as the pack looked up in succession, suddenly far more interested in winning than before.

"And you're baking them?" Jackson asked stiffly, Stiles nodding. "I guess I'll have to beat these untalented fuckers, not that there was any doubt anyway," He sniffed, making the others complain, their babbling rising over each other as they fought for their spot as victorious origami-creator.

With only a few mishaps, there was a group of 3D Christmas trees lined up on the counter in front of Stiles an hour later, a row of teens standing hopefully behind them.

Letting out a hum, Stiles turned to the figure behind him, Derek, stood watching the display with a disbelieving face. "As Alpha, I feel like it's your responsibility to judge which one's best," Stiles said lightly, beckoning him forwards. Derek sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I'd better hurry, then,"

Stiles set the two overflowing bags onto the counter with a grunt, Derek staring at them in confusion.

"What,"

"Decorations," Stiles said, flashing the 'Were a grin. "Be prepared, 'cuz Erica's arriving with a tree in five,"

"We didn't agree to this,"

"We didn't agree to me holding you up in a pool for eight hours but we both liked that outcome a lot, didn't we?" Stiles said cheerfully, rifling through the bags and unearthing a seemingly neverending string of tinsel, wrapping it around Derek, who snarled in response. Stiles only laughed as he fished out his speaker, humming along as the jovial tones of Mariah Carey filled the room.

As Stiles promised, Erica soon arrived with a tree, and half of the forest along with it, covered in dirt and a maniacal grin, the others sheepishly following after.

This place has some feeling to it.  Stiles thought with satisfaction.  He was getting somewhere.  

The evening was still, the afternoon heat diminishing for a fresh night. Stiles laid against the window of the loft, eyes closed as he tried to visualise the Archaic Latin in the book.

A luna sicut lupus in caritate-

A love like a wolf to the moon.

"There are some cardboard boxes, under my bed," A voice spoke,

Stiles jumped, eyes flying open as he banged his head against the window, glaring halfheartedly at Derek who stared on, unmoving. " Jeez, warn a guy! Next time I fall through this window, I'm blaming you " He grouched, rubbing his head before the 'Weres words caught up with him. " Wait, whats in the boxes ?"

Derek let out a slight sigh, capturing Stiles' full attention. He looked at the Alpha, whose shoulders were slumped, face tired and unguarded.

" Under my bed, " Derek repeated, before slumping onto a bar stool nearby, " -there are some decorations I salvaged from the fire, you should- " He let out another breath, the sound rattling in his throat. " You should see if any are worth putting up. "

Stiles stared, lost for a moment, shocked at the vulnerability Derek was showing. For a second they stood, staring at each other silently before Stiles spoke. " Yeah! God, yes! Derek, I'll definitely do that, thank you, for letting me ," He said, the words catching as he tried to mask his gratitude and shock. Watching the downward slope of Derek's shoulders, Stiles' mind reeled as he thought about the trust Derek was giving him, making a small part of him light up, the warmth settling behind his ribs.

Stiles eyes slowly tracked to Derek's bed, seeing a dusty cardboard corner peeking out under the handknitted woollen cover- a gift from the pack. Looking back to Derek, he realised the Were was staring at the box too as if the contents might leap out and kill him if he got too close. Maybe that was why he wanted Stiles to look through it. Because he couldn't.

As Stiles reached the box, he heard a sharp exhale from behind him and turned in concern as Derek stood up, the bar stool screeching against the concrete floor. " I'll be outside if you need me,"  His voice was stony, making Stiles nod. Derek walked out, the door closing heavily behind him. He wanted the decorations to be out, but he couldn't handle doing it himself. Stiles sympathised, gently opening the cardboard box as he thought back to how long it took him to be able to bite into a pierogi dumpling from his mom's cookbook without a feeling of nausea overwhelming him.

The box was a treasure trove. As Stiles sifted through the contents, they clinked softly and rustled, their fragility constantly at the forefront of his mind. Old fashioned glass ornaments, their surfaces painted dusty-pink or emerald green with intricate patterns on their frail surface. Creased Christmas cards from family friends, the edges singed and the words yellowed and faded. Clumsily made pottery, obviously shaped by children, in the abstract shapes of angels, stars and hearts. And under it all, wrapped in cloth, a crudely carved wooden ornament, the surface worn and smooth, the Hale Triskele.

Feeling himself let out a sigh, Stiles carefully rewrapped the triskele and gently laid it back in the box, it was beautiful. He ached for Derek, thinking of the memories he'd missed, the heirlooms and pictures, burnt now to a crisp. It was an easy decision, deciding to put the ornaments on the tree, and one Stiles was truly honoured to do. Derek  trusted  him.

Looking under the bed once more, Stiles squinted, seeing a large shape. Pulling the object out, he found it to be a clunky suitcase, leatherbound and cracked. The material was stained, and a small T.H was engraved on the corner. Talia Hale?

Looking over to the door Derek had exited from, Stiles spent a second debating his curiosity, but it outweighed his dubiousness as to whether he was allowed to look inside.

Cracking open the lid, he grunted as it swung open with a puff of dust. The suitcase was old, and the contents were covered by a soft, creased blanket. Tracing it slowly with his fingers, Stiles felt again the pang of sorrow he did whenever he remembered the monstrosities Derek had suffered. Pulling back the cloth, his breath caught in his throat as his hand brushed over a photo hidden just under the blanket.

It was a blurry photo, dated in the corner for well over a decade before the current date. There are eleven people in the photo, all hugging in front of a homey mansion, presumably the Hale Mansion. The light falls gently on the people, evidently taken at dusk as the people in the photo smile sunnily at the cameraman. Looking closer, Stiles stares in shock at a familiar figure sitting in the front of the picture. It's Derek, only younger and more carefree than Stiles had ever seen him. He's reclining lazily against another girl, who glares playfully at him, the signature Hale eyebrows a striking feature on her face.

Just as Stiles goes to flip the photo over, Stiles jumps as the door to the loft opens again, Derek entering the room. His head was bowed, until he shot up, staring at Stiles, his eyes slowly tracking down to the trunk lay open beside him, and the photo in his hands.

Stiles sprang back, letting go of the photo and apologising profusely as Derek rapidly approached, no words coming from him. His face, though, was murderous. Stiles went still, as Derek grabbed his shoulder, his grip tight enough to leave bruises. Derek rapidly strode back across the loft with Stiles in tow, stumbling across the floor.

"Get. Out." Derek growled, his features turning feral and his eyes beginning to glow as Stiles felt pinpricks of claws in his shoulders.

"Derek! I'm so sorry, I know it was an invasion of privacy, I just wanted to help-!" His words died as the door was slammed in his face, leaving only a distraught feeling of  wrong  and the throbbing of his soon-to-bruise shoulder.

Fuck.

"I've tried calling him over a hundred times now, Scotty, he hates me," Stiles said mournfully, as Scott huffed, cradling a meowing kitten in his hands as he brought it over to the examination table at Deaton's.

"Why are you so bothered about this, Stiles?" Scott asked, putting the small kitten down and gingerly unwrapping its bandaged leg. "Not to be a dick, but Derek's  always  pissed at you,"

Stiles scoffed but didn't say a word, because...yeah, he kinda was, and he had a point. It was a tale as old as time. Stiles had been pissing Derek off since the dawn of time. "But it's different this time," He wheedled, banging his head against the wall in defeat and then wincing at the dull pain it caused.

"Why, because you've realised you actually like him?"

"No, I just don't want things to be awkward-"

"Or you realised you have a huge crush on him," Scott countered.

"I do  not -"

Oh. Shit.

Scott stared smugly as Stiles gaped, starting to freak out a little. When did this happen? When did he start to see Derek as someone he wanted to get to know more, to get to know the  best ? Fuck.

"Look, dude, pack meeting's tonight, talk to him, apologise, tell him how you feel!" Scott deftly fastened a new bandage to the kitten's leg, who mewled in protest.

"Easy for  you  to say, Allison practically fell into your lap!"

Scott fixed him a stare, making Stiles shift guiltily, because...no, she didn't.

Fuck.

Stiles approaches the loft door, the others looking suspiciously at him as he heard his heartbeat drum through his ears. Jackson pushed it open, sauntering through and the others following suit.

"Remember, apologise," Scott said sternly, making Stile nod, secretly pleased at the sudden positive turn Scott had had towards Derek's wellbeing.

Walking into the loft, he shuffles to one of the couches and perches on the end, fiddling with his sleeve as the meeting progressed. As the others spoke on the current matters, he stayed silent, tensing slightly whenever he heard Derek speak. As the formalities drew to a close and the others turned the TV to a Christmas movie and brought out snacks, Stiles sighed, and finally got up to get a drink, the uncomfortable-ness prickling at the back of his throat.

Filling a glass, he let out another sigh, letting his eyes wander. They came to rest on a photo frame, holding a familiar photo. The family picture. Squinting at it, he felt a shock course through him. Why had Derek decided to put it up?

Feeling a throat clear behind him, he tensed again, turning to see Derek staring at him, impassive.

"I-" Stiles started, ready to begin his apology speech.

"Don't," Derek said, shaking his head. "I know you're sorry, and I'm," He struggled, seemingly not able to find the words. "I'm glad you found it. O hadn't seen it in years, and now, I want to see it," He admitted, making a small smile curl at Stiles' lips.

"I'm glad," Stiles returned, smiling at the Alpha, who reluctantly smiled back. A silence lapsed between them as the noises of the jovial pack filtered through to the kitchen.

Staring into his glass, Stiles shrugged, turning to go, but before he could leave, Derek enveloped him in a tight hug, making Stiles freeze.

"Thank you," He mumbled into Stiles' chest, clinging onto him. Feeling his mouth open in shock, Stiles clung on just as tightly.

"Anytime, big guy" He smiled.

The two stood like that for a few minutes, breathing each other in and feeling everything they couldn't say.

Finally, Derek stepped back, his cheeks flushed. "Would you want to go out sometime?" He asked bluntly, Stiles blinking in shock.

"Like...on a date?" Stiles asked hesitantly, wondering if he should celebrate just yet.

"No, on a murder mission," Derek replied flatly, Stiles taking a second to recognise the sarcasm before huffing a laugh.

"Fuck, Derek, I'd love to," He answered honestly, watching as Dereks face broke out into an honest-to-god  grin .

And that is how Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski embarked on one of the best adventures of their lives, and one they'd find to be very enjoyable. One they would never ever regret.

[darnellbebop]

Decided I’d write up the story of my experience with that catfish. Don’t know if anyone cares but it’s under the cut if you do:

So back in November a friend mentioned meeting someone on Facebook Dating. My first thought was “That’s kind of dumb” but then I figured since your profile for that is linked directly to your Facebook, I wouldn’t see as many spam profiles and I may have also took the possibility of catfish into mind. Not sure. But if I did, talk about ironic. Within the first couple days I matched a pretty girl and messaged her about Hogwarts houses since Harry Potter was on her profile.We hit it off pretty well and exchanged numbers and things seemed to be going well. She worked two jobs (Lush and PF Chang’s at a couple different malls in the area). She even mentioned that she’d seen me before at my job a couple months prior. A lot of very realistic shit. Nothing to be suspicious of.

Since she worked two jobs, she worked pretty much 7 days a week. We planned dates a couple times and she always ended up backing out for one reason or another. There were also a couple times we got into disagreements where she would refuse to talk to me for a day and basically have me beg for forgiveness when she decided to “give me another chance”. (That’s a toxic trait even in a real relationship; especially since she expected me to always talk to her even though she could decide “I’m not talking to you because I’m mad”). 

Anyway, about a month or so in, we still hadn’t met up and she asked about sexting so we gave that a go around Thanksgiving. This is when I first got suspicious. We had sexted one night and then the following morning and in the morning I was alarmed to notice that the video taken in the morning was in a different room than the stuff she had sent the previous night. They were both bedrooms. And they both neck down only so I immediately thought “These are not the same person” and said I wasn’t comfortable sexting anymore. This got her mad and she wouldn’t talk to me. During this time I tried digging up proof that the girl was real. Googled her name, her phone number, checked her Facebook and IG. Honestly I came across so much proof that I should have cut her out at this point but I didn’t:

All of her Instagram pics only have comments from guys. No comments from other girls. Kind of weird that none of her friends ever decided to go “Yes girl!!!” on any of her selfies. And on the couple where she was with a friend, she didn’t have them tagged. Additionally, the only photos she was tagged in were from an account belonging to her “brother”. Her Facebook was similar. I forget what brought this up, but I came across a guy’s name who lived in the same town she gave me at some point during all my research and thought “Maybe he’s the catfish” (He definitely is). 

Now there were things that felt like “Well why is this a thing if she’s not real?” too. The biggest one was that on Facebook I came across a guy, a real person (he actually interacts with numerous people in his posts and seemed as real as possible) who claimed he had been dating her at one point. An ex boyfriend felt like proof to me. And then the amount of effort that went into this fake girl also felt insane (Facebook and Instagram accounts that were a few years old and a PSN account). 

When she answered me again she chewed me out for not trusting her. Completely flipped the script on the fact that I found her out and instead made me out to be the bad guy and had me thinking I was just being paranoid for nothing. This is what really makes me mad about the whole situation. Instead of ghosting or apologizing and letting me move on with my life, this dude doubled down on his lie and sunk his claws in deeper.

Since the holidays were coming up, both of our jobs were getting busier so it was understandable that we weren’t able to meet up. I think part of me was still suspicious at this point. When I got her Christmas presents, I got her things that I would still enjoy for myself that I didn’t own just in case she wasn’t real (thank you subconscious me). I get suspicious occasionally when I notice something not quite right but don’t want to be accused of “not trusting her” if I bring it up and do question if I’m maybe being paranoid. Maybe there’s a reasonable explanation.

Fastforward a bit to late February and she sends me a video compilation of some plays she made in Overwatch. After I watch it, I decide to check out the rest of her channel because that’s just something I naturally do after I watch a friend’s video. In the “About” section, a guy’s Instagram is linked. What guy? The one I came across months ago. That was the smoking gun so to be speak. Now maybe it’s possible she’s friends with this guy and just has him upload them to her channel or they share a channel. No reason to jump to conclusions like a paranoid crazy person (See how manipulative this asshole was?). 

By this point, the combination of us having never met up or even FaceTimed had me thinking even if she is real, this is taking forever to get started and I decided I would pursue other girls in the mean time and if nothing happened by the end of the month with her, I’d cut her loose. Then COVID happened and quarantine bought her time since there was an actual excuse for her to not meet up. Thankfully though, she also slowly drifted away from me during quarantine. She texted less and less. One day she finally addressed it and was like “Sorry, for being distant” and I said it was okay and that the boring quarantine routine was probably to blame. Though at the same time I was a bit relieved cuz her disappearing would be fine since I know she’s not real. 

One thing that also stood out to me that I feel like I should have caught on to as a sign was that a lot of her reaction images and pics she’d send me were Black Twitter memes. This was a white girl with an uncomfortable level of Black reaction images. The guy however, is Black. So it makes sense. Then a bit into me watching her play Overwatch one day, she asks me to add her “brother’s account” cuz she’s gonna play on that one instead of her own. Interesting, right? Looking back at it, the “brother” profile on PSN looks very similar to the guy’s IG profile.

I haven’t attempted to talk to her in over a week. Sent a meme. Didn’t get a reply. Didn’t try again. I’m fine with that. Plus when I checked the dude’s Twitter, I found one of his Youtube video links and watched it and the person playing is whoever’s on the PSN account belonging to “her brother”. AKA it’s his and he was just some manipulative asshole piece of shit who can go fuck himself. He’s probably moved on to someone else. Or multiple someone elses. Who knows. I did notice that both profiles have been using “Share Play” for Overwatch without me so I take it, those are sessions with my replacement. 

So yeah. That sucked. I wasted way too long on a piece of shit catfish. I know I did but I also sort of felt like I didn’t have other options at the time. It wasn’t until I actively started looking that I realized, I have other options and don’t need to put up with a catfish or a girl that plays so many games. Also gonna trust my gut unless I’m given solid proof that it’s wrong cuz my gut was right.

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 4 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 4

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings: Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction!

Nikki got back to the apartment. Mick was the only one there, since Vince and Tommy were still out late. He looked up at Nikki from the TV show he was watching.

“Thought you’d be crawling in at the sunrise.” Mick commented.

“She has class in the morning,” Nikki sighed. “I… I really like her and I don't want to screw this up.” Nikki ran a hand across his face. “This girl isn't like the groupies at the shows… she different… I don’t feel the need to party when I’m with her. I just want to be with her.”

“That’s deep Nikki.” Mick said. “Don’t let Tommy and Vince hear you saying that though. They’ll start planning the wedding.”

“Shut up,” Nikki grumbled and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “What is wrong with me man?”

“Infatuation. That’s what’s wrong with you.” Mick said. “You give it some time. If the feeling sticks, you’re in love. If it goes away when a new flavor of girl walks by, you were just smitten.” He glanced over at Nikki. “I actually just had to have this same exact talk with Tommy.”

“He has a girl he’s interested in?” Nikki raised his eyebrow at Mick.

“Well, his was about Pop Tarts. So same thing right. Something you both want to eat?” He winked at Nikki.

“I mean… It would be nice but… I don't think she’s that type of girl for now… besides Vince cock blocked me tonight.” Nikki grabbed a chair flipped it so that the back of it was in front of him and sat down.  

“How did he do that?” Mick asked.

“Brought over some girl name Tiffany or Tracy or some shit like that and just started running his mouth,” he took a big chug of his beer. “(Y/n) wanted to leave after that to go home.”    

“Maybe she’s just a homebody? Not every girl likes to go out all the time you know.” Mick pointed out. “You said she was in school right? How old is she?”

“I’m not sure…” NIkki felt himself panic. “Shit what if she’s underage!”

“Well, what I saw of her, she looks like she’s probably eighteen or nineteen. And it sounds like she has a plan with her life. Maybe she doesn’t want to fuck it up and have to rely on a rockstar to support her through life?” Mick suggested.

Nikki let Micks words sink in, “meaning she is completely out of my league.” Nikki chugged the rest of his beer and grabbed the bottle of Jack taking a large gulp from it. “She should be with someone normal.”

“She comes to Motley Crue concerts. She’s not normal Nik.” Mick laughed. “Just be easy with her. If she’s young and never experienced life, those are the ones that have a tendency to go hard when they get a taste of it. I’d hate to see her be one of the girls that comes through the window.”

“Yeah, yeah I guess.” Nikki said. “I asked about having a normal date… what’s a day we don’t have a gig?”

“Do I look like a calendar?” Mick asked. He went to the fridge where Tommy had handwritten a schedule in crayon. “Looks like Thursday we’re good.”

“Sweet, I’ll call her tomorrow and see if that’s good for what I want to have planned… should get the phone book and look up a decent place to eat… maybe a movie or some shit like that.” Nikki rushed to his room and closed the door giving himself some privacy. He looked down at his hands he could almost still feel the softness of her skin on his fingertips. He wanted nothing more than to touch her again. Not even in a sexual way, like every other girl he had been with.

He knew in the morning, Vince would apologize and Tommy would tease him. But for the night, in his mind, it was just him and her.

****

“Here comes the king!” Vince said as Tommy made his way into the rehearsal space. They were working on some new music for their album that they needed to record. Tommy had a pair of sunglasses on that he had stolen from one of the girls, and a pair of Athena’s pants he had taken the last time he had stayed at her place.

“Relax dudes, I put my pants on like everyone else.” Tommy laughed.

“Yeah, but we aren’t wearing our little sister’s clothes.” Mick pointed out, making Nikki and Vince laugh.

“Hey,” he shrugged, “At least I look better in them than she does.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Nikki said, shaking his head. “So, do you guys know what movies are out right now that a girl would like to go see?”

“Trying to tell us something Nik?” Tommy teased, making Nikki flip him off.

“Huh,” Vince titled his head in thought. “Could check the news paper for listings in the entertainment section… I mean are you planning on doing something with that chick you were with last night?”

“Well, yeah.” Nikki said. “Gotta make sure she doesn’t have anything going on Thursday, but I thought I’d take her out. But I’m not telling you fuckheads which theater, because you’ll show up and embarrass me!”

“Awwwww, come on!” Tommy got on his knees and crawled to Nikki to grab at his legs. “Tell us please I haven’t met this chick yet! That’s not fair!”

“Not my fault you left with half the Laker Girls last night.” Nikki told him, pulling his legs away. “I’m almost scared to introduce her to you.”

“Why? Cuz she’ll take one look at me and realize she’s been with a zero when she could’ve been with a hero?” Tommy laughed. Nikki smacked his arm.

“Are we going to do music or talk about you idiots some more?” Mick grumbled, messing around on his guitar.

“Come on, I got a new song I want to try out.” Nikki grabbed his notebook and showed the guys the lyrics.

“That sounds pretty good.” Vince said. “Let me look over the lyrics.”

“Got any directions for music?” Mick asked as Vince took the paper to work on finding the right way to sing it. Tommy messed around on his drums while Mick and Nikki worked on the music.

Nikki began playing a beat thinking of (Y/n) and the lyrics. Vince seemed to respond to the beat Nikki was laying down, Tommy adding in his drums and Mick finding a good riff. The song was coming together nicely.

“So, do we have a set track list yet?” Mick asked a while later while they lounged around.

"Don't know yet. Elektra doesn’t seem to want to approve anything," Nikki shrugged. "We can play around with the flow." Nikki looked at the guys and at the list. "Any ideas for anything?"

“I think we’re just missing one song. They recommend a cover.” Vince said. “But I dunno man.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Tommy said, hitting his drums. “Got a bit before our next gig and I think I’m gonna go get a new tattoo or something.” Tommy laughed. “Who wants to join me?”

"I'll go with you man," Nikki said. "I could use one."

“Gonna get your girlfriend’s name tattooed on you?” Tommy teased. Nikki smacked him upside the head.

“What? NO!” NIkki smacked him upside the head. “Not sure what I’ll get yet but something awesome. If I even decide to go with you, you asshole.”

“It’s amazing we’ve made it this far with you two at the helm.” Mick grumbled.

After rehearsal, NIkki closed the door to his room and dialed (Y/n)’s number. “Please be home and pick up please.” he said to himself as it rang.

“Hello?” (Y/n) finally answered.

“(Y/n)? It’s NIkki… NIkki Sixx?” he smacked his head and groaned.

“Well, hi there Nikki Sixx.” (Y/n) giggled. “You just caught me getting home from class.”

“Hi, yeah, hey… I already said that,” NIkki laughed nervously. “I’m glad I caught you… what are you doing Thursday?”

“I’ve got two classes in the morning and then I work until 4. Why?” (Y/n) asked. “Another gig?” She laid on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. She twirled the cord in her finger. It was times like this she was glad her siblings had moved out already. She knew they’d be listening in.

“Actually… a date,” Nikki jumped on his bed and looked up at the ceiling, his head resting on his arm.

“You want to go out on a date with me? I mean, we’ve been on two but...are you sure?” (Y/n) asked. Nikki could tell she was nervous and it was a little cute. “I mean, I haven’t been on many dates and…”

“Neither have I, but I am pretty sure I want to actually do something with just you,” he chuckled. “I mean we can go to a movie and then dinner or dinner movie and then a fun night out?”

“I love going to the movies,” (Y/n) said. “That sounds great. Your friends aren’t going to show up, are they?” She didn’t mind the band showing up, she just didn’t want to see Tommy’s face yet when he realized her and Nikki were going out.

“I am keeping the theater we are going to under lock and key,” Nikki felt himself smiling. “Besides, I won’t even tell them what restaurant we’re going to.”  

“Well, I’d love to go out with you Nikki Sixx.” She giggled. “Just tell me a time and I’ll meet you, or whatever. I’ll eventually get a car.” She cringed a little. She was making herself sound so uncool.

“I can pick you up at your dorm,” Nikki smiled. “What do you say to 6 O’clock?”

“Oh, yeah! That’ll give me time to get in order.” She said, closing her eyes. She was eventually going to have to actually move to the dorm or tell him the truth.

“Good,” Nikki sat up and pumped his fist in the air. “Sweet girl, I’m going to show you a real good time.” Nikki found himself smiling brighter, “I’ll call you tomorrow. What time are you usually home by?”

“Tomorrow I work until the library closes. I think tomorrow is like eight.” She told him. “But summer is coming up soon and I won’t have to work as much.” She was all smiles. That’s when she heard a voice in the background.

“Hey Nikki! I gotta stop by my parents house first before I go to the parlor. Mom asked me to do something for her since I’m so tall.” Tommy said. (Y/n) gulped. She hoped that Tommy would come alone and not bring Nikki. She didn’t want him to see her here.

“I told you I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go with you or not. Why are you telling me this?” Nikki asked.

“Wasn’t sure if you wanted to tag along. You know mom loves you.” Tommy said. “Maybe I could introduce you to my sister.”

“Nikki’s too busy with his hot little number!” Vince yelled to Tommy.

NIkki grabbed some empty cans to throw at them, “Shut up asshole.” Nikki turned back to the phone. “We have a gig tomorrow so I’ll be in late. Maybe I can catch you the next day?”

“Maybe I could try to come by tonight. I don’t have class until ten tomorrow.” She shrugged a little. “If not though, have a good night Nikki.” She smiled every time she said his name. He made her heart flutter.

“If you come by that would be nice, but I know you’ll be tired from work and you should rest,” Nikki smiled. “I’ll catch you tomorrow… just listen for my message if I can’t reach you. Night (Y/n).” Just saying her name made his pulse race.

“Night Nikki.” She hung up then, laying back on her bed with a smile.

Nikki sighed and closed his eyes. He could picture her in his mind and he could feel a song coming on. Grabbing his notebook he began writing. He placed the title at the top: Use it or Lose it.

(Y/n) turned on her radio as Nikki was in his room writing. “Crazy on You” by Heart came on and (Y/n) felt like she could relate to the song. She laid back on her bed, thinking about him. She was starting to think about moving into the dorm with Vanessa, or even getting their own apartment near the campus. Athena had offered her a room once, and Tommy had said she could live with him if she would stop being such a nerd. But she really wanted to get through school. She was ahead of everyone and she was so close to graduating. She could taste it. If she took all the classes over the summer, she only had a semester.Tommy would call her a nerd, she would call herself an opportunist.

That’s when she realized she had no idea what to wear on a date.

“Oh come on.” She groaned. She was sure he wouldn’t mind the rock t-shirts that Tommy had gotten for her over the years, but she wasn’t to be a little classy or something. She knew Vanessa would help her in a heartbeat, and of course she would be there to help her pick out an outfit, but it was also time she called in the big guns. She picked up her phone then and dialed a number that she had recently memorized.

“Athena? It’s (Y/n). Can you come over tomorrow night or Wednesday? I need your help with something.”

“Why? Are you doing something for your class?” Athena asked as she sat on her couch and began flipping through the tv channels.

“I, uh...I have a date.” (Y/n) told her, making Athena sit up straight.

“You have a date?” Athena sat straighter. “Anyone I know?”

“I met him at the concert you ditched me at.” (Y/n) told her. “And no, I’m not telling you his name.”

“It’s not fucking Vince, is it?” Athena asked.

“No, no. It’s not Vince. Are you going to help me or not?” (Y/n) asked.

“Yes, I’ll help you,” Athena smiled. “But you know you can’t hide him forever.”

“Does Wednesday night sound good? Mom and dad are leaving for their cruise.” (Y/n) told her. “They’ll be in Greece for like a month or something.”

“Oh well, that sounds like you can have a house party if you wanted to,” Athena teased.

“No parties and no...anything else.” (Y/n) blushed. “Thanks Athena. I’ll get us dinner. There’s booze. We’re set.”

“Ok, I’ll help you out and bring over what I have that can fit you or we can go shopping!” Athena squealed slightly. “Night baby sis and maybe this guy can help de-flower you.”  

(Y/n) hung up and sighed. She had jumped that obstacle but now she had to deal with Athena wanting to know who she was dating. And she’d have to figure out what to do if Nikki wanted to come back to her place. She closed her eyes. She had gotten herself in a deep hole.

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316

Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:  @kingbouji3 @leximus98

[invaderzia1]

Summertime Sadness (Reiner Braun x Female!Reader) (Modern Au)

Not associated with that one song :) yo this was supposed to come out beginning of summer but look where we are now huh

Everything hurt. There was a distinct pain in the back of your throat and your nose was very clogged. As you began to awaken more, it became ever clear that this was your allergies again. The past couple days have been quite painful for you, but something about today felt different. Sitting up in bed, rubbing away the sleep from your eyes, you saw your boyfriend laying next to you, quietly scrolling through his phone. The burly male turned towards you, smiling up at you.

“Morning, sunshine.” He said.

You opened your mouth to speak, but only a faint croak of words came out. Your eyes widened as the truth of what was wrong set in. Reiner stared back at you, a dorky grin forming on his face. There was still a dull pain in your throat and a noticeable scratchieness.

“Babe, can you get me some water?” You croaked out, cringing at how your voice sounded.

Reiner held in his laugh, not wanting to land on your bad side, and simply nodded, quickly makin his way out of the room. From your bedroom you could still hear Reiner laughing as he made his way to the kitchen. A pout proudly made its way onto your lips, crossing your arms as you waited for him to return.

Reiner reentered the room after a few minutes, finding his girlfriend pouting at him. While he didn’t like to see her upset, she sure looked cute with that pout. He handed her the water she wanted and returned to his place in bed.

“Come on, babe. You’ve gotta admit you sound pretty funny right now.”

“Doesn’t mean you can be mean about it.” She mumbled, Reiner barely catching what she said.

Reiner roller his eyes and wrapped an arm around you. “How about I make you the best chicken soup you’ll ever eat and you turn on a movie and relax? Would that make you feel better?”

Not wanting to strain your voice, you nodded and made yourself comfortable in the bed. Reiner just sent a soft smile towards you as he got back up and left the room. You immediately missed the warmth of his body, but knew soup would be better than just cuddling today.

The pain in your throat was still ever present and making everything ten tones worse for you. The water was helping but not as much as you wanted. Hopefully Reiner would be able to find some for you when he came back. Reaching for you phone, you noticed several messages from one of your close friends.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: yo you still wanna get lunch later???

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: wake up I need an answer soon

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: I stg I will burst into your house and get the answer myself if you don’t respond soon

Rolling your eyes at his brash nature, you began to type your response, hoping he wouldn’t be rushing into the apartment any time soon.

(Y/n): sorry, don’t think I can make it. Super sick rn :(

(Y/n): we can reschedule for later this week, hopefully I don’t die by then

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: boo hoo

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: what’s wrong? Fuckface give you the flu or something?

(Y/n): haha v funny

(Y/n): but no, my allergies are trying to close my throat currently. Can barely breath rn

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: sucks to be you

You sighed at his comment, used to the rough attitude.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: do you need me to come over or something? Rather you don’t die tbh

(Y/n): nah, reiners here and making me some soup

There wasn’t a response immediately, probably due to Porco gagging at your boyfriends name. The two really didn’t get along, though it was more like Porco had some sort of vendetta against him. He was the one to introduce you and Reiner, but it wasn’t like he was trying to get you together, that was on both of you. The thought was quite amusing, remembering how much Porco scolded you when you first told him you were interested in the blonde male.

The phone buzzed in your hand, bringing you out of your thoughts.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: ew

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: you’ll need to decontaminate your apartment after he leaves 😷😷

(Y/n): don’t be rude just cuz your jealous

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: Not jealous, just warning you . Tho you should clean it to get the pollen out I guess.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: well, I’ll let you be. Stay well and sleep a lot.

(Y/n): peace, see you later

Closing out of your messages, you began to pull up the YouTube app and catch up on some of your videos. Half way through the video, you heard the unmistakable foot steps of your boyfriend approaching. As he entered the room you noticed him looking as adorable as ever. His hair was slightly messy and he was in a bright pink apron your grandmother had given you a few years ago. He smiled softly at you before spreading, leaning against the door frame.

“You okay back here? Want me to get you anything?” Reiner asked.

“Actually,” you started, the scratchy feeling making it harder to speak as your voice continued to disappear, “if you could grab some throat lozenges that’d be great.”

Reiner just nodded and ducked out of the room, leaving you back to your videos. You could hear him down the hall, tearing up your bathroom trying to find those lozenges. After a few minutes of Reiner tearing everything apart, he returned. He had a sheepish look on his face as he walked towards you.

“Soooo, I could only find one lozenge.” He said, drawing out the first part of the sentence. “But, I’ll go out and grab you a full pack of them!! And some candy!” God, he was like a cute puppy, just trying to make you happy.

“That’s fine, I just need some lozenges, I don’t need you blowing your entire paycheck on me.” You held out your hand for the lozenge as Reiner handed it to you. Quickly popping it into your mouth, you felt the relief almost instantly.

“I just want you to feel better, so if you need anything, and I mean anything, I will go get it for you, babe-“ Reiner was cut off by the sound an alarm going off, somewhere further into the apartment. “Shit, one minute!!” He yelled out, running out of the room and down the hall.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics, it was quite the sight as not too long ago he was teasing you and now here he was acting all cute and shit for you. You truly felt lucky to have him. You wanted to yell out to him and ask if everything was okay, but current circumstances stopped that from happening. Instead, you just stayed in bed and hoped everything was okay. Hopefully if the apartment caught fire Reiner would come in and save you, cuz there was no way you would be able to run far like this.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity, which was more like 10 minutes, Reiner returned with a bowl in one hand and a mug in another. As he placed it down onto the side table next to you, the smell of the soup he made wafted towards you. Dear god, it smelt heavenly!! You nearly melted right there, but Reiner quickly dipped the spoon in and brought it towards your lips. It tasted better than it smelt, taking you to a higher plane of existence.

“Mmmm, who knew you were such a good cook.” You mumbled in a state of bliss.

“Not many people, I try to keep it a secret.” He replied, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

“What for? Such a talent shouldn’t be hidden.”

Reiner chuckled to himself, wrapping an arm around you. “I don’t need the guys to make fun of me for this, if Porco found out I don’t think I’d live it down.”

“Oh hush, it’s not that bad.” You jokingly scolded him, lightly nudging him with your elbow. Taking another spoonful of soup, you leaned into Reiner’s broad chest.

“So you feeling any better?”

“I can kind of get a sentence out now, so that’s something, but other than that still feeling pretty shitty.”

You grabbed the remote from the bed side table and turned on your television, switching to Netflix and scrolling down to the movie section. There were a few movies which caught your eye, but after a bit more searching a small squeal came from you as you stumbled on your favorite movie. Reiner rolled his eyes, yet kept his mouth closed.

“Babe, oh my god, we have to!!” You gushed, your voice cutting out here and there from the high pitch glee.

“It’s your choice, babe. Though, you have seen it like twenty times already.”

Ignoring his comment, you pressed play on the movie and snuggled against Reiner in a more comfortable position, continuing to sip on your soup as Reiner did the same.

Half way through the movie, Reiner began kissing down your neck, slightly pulling your attention away from the screen. His little kisses were sweet at first, but slowly you could feel his teeth scrape against the skin. It wasn’t long before he started biting down and sucking on the skin.

Letting a shaky moan escape your lips, you lightly pushed him off, wanting to focus on the movie. However, Reiner tightened his grip around you waist and left another mark on your neck.

“Reiner, stop!” You whined out.

Reiner just hummed out his response, not stopping his actions. His nose rubbed against the soft skin of your neck, placing a soft kiss on the dark mark he left.

Your breathing started to become heavy, due in part mostly to how swollen your throat was feeling, but your boyfriends nips weren’t helping either. Obviously, you weren’t in the mood for this, but you weren’t gonna just let him stop either.

Reiner wasn’t dumb either, he wasn’t going in for the kill, he just wanted to distract you from how shit you felt. But, he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to mark you as his either. Turning to look at you, Reiner chuckled at your flushed face, finding it adorable at how embarrassed you seemed to get at his actions.

“Aw, babe, you look so cute,” Reiner cooed, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Not funny, ya big bear.” You squeaked out, crossing your arms. A cute pout made its way to your face, turning away from his face.

Reiner rubbed his face against the side of your neck, his eyes closed as he did. The scruffiness of his beard made you cringe, but the softness of the rest of his face was nice. He hummed out a response, enjoying how close you are.

“Stop,” You stuttered out, “It tickles!”

You tried to squirm from his grasp, but his grip was strong around your waist, effectively holding you in place. A few more failed attempts at escaping and pleading with him only made him rub his beard against you more, an evil smirk on his lips.

“If you want it to stop, then you’ll have to kiss me!” Reiner proclaimed, as if he was a Disney villain.

“Fine, I’ll do it. Just stop with the beard, you monster!”

Reiner loosened his grip and, as promised, removed his beard from your neck. He readied his lips for the kiss, as if he was a lovesick school girl waiting for her crush to man up and kiss her. Instead, he felt her lips press against his cheek, before pulling away. Reiner opened his eyes, pouting as he saw her nervously scratch her neck.

“Baaaaaabe.”

“Yeah?”

“You can do better than that, give me a real kiss this time.”

You purses your lips together, using your secret weapon on him. Puppy eyes. You knew that Reiner wouldn’t be able to handle the cuteness when you unleashed them.

“But.... babe, you said only one kiss.”

Reiner’s cheeks dusted with pink, already falling victim to your trick. Just looking at you, he felt his heart beat faster, finding you cuter than ever. He stared down at you, causing you both go engage in a silent battle to see who would win. Thought, Reiner didn’t stand a chance against you. He threw his hands up in defeat, covering his face as you cheered in victory.

Over exciting yourself, it felt harder than before to breath, causing you to let out several choked coughs. Reiner chuckled at your struggle, moving a hand away from his face as he did, making sure you were okay.

After that, you both returned to the movie. You cuddled into Reiners broad chest as you began to feel yourself grow tired, clearly your shitty allergies we’re making you feel weaker than usual. It wasn’t long until you feel asleep, cuddled up ti your loving boyfriend, who played with your hair until you passed out.

While your summer allergies may get you down, there’s always someone near to cheer you back up.

[nowlemmehearyourguns]

Did someone ask for... Murder-fluff?!

I’m finally done, y’all!  I hope you like it!!

i do apologize for how ridiculously i type out his lisp in advance.

((oh hey, this is the internet’s first introduction to my OC, Venus.  She’s a rascal and i hope you like her too. lol))

. . .

‘Party pass cash in!!! <3’ The text came through on the five musicians phones.  Why she always alerted them all, no one knew.  William heaved a dramatic sigh tossing his dethphone back onto the couch.

“Not like sche’sch gonna hang out with anybody but Picklesch anyway…” He mumbled to himself.  He couldn’t rightfully be upset.  One could only assume someone preferred to spend time with their significant other, hence the significance.  But man were they annoying, flaunting their couple-hood all the time.  And knowing his pouting would be seen as invalid only made him angrier.  By the time the whoosh of the dethjet neared Mordhaus, he was nothing short of thrilled to tell Venus the rest of the band was out for the day.  That’d show her and her stupid good mood!

“DK!  Where we goin’ tonight?!”  The booming command for attention echoed in the empty front room.  Venus stood; arms stretched above her, her head thrown back to properly shout her excitement to the skies.  After a moment of realized silence, she lowered her gaze to observe her surroundings.  “Fellas?” She questioned.

Her klokateer escort attempted to scoot his way out of the awkward scene.  “3713.”  The number froze him in place.  “So, like… when you say ‘my masters await your arrival’ is that just a spiel?  Did Mr. O tell you thatcha have to say that?” Venus inquired.

The chill that went down his spine was nigh visible.  “Ma’am?” He managed to utter the word cautiously.

“No, but really.  You don’t lie to house guests and fly them out from New York knowing they’ll be left bored and they’ll absolutely have to pester you and several coworkers into entertaining them and then you find yourself in trouble because you aren’t supposed to be drinking on duty ‘but mean old V made you and it wasn’t your fault,’ right?”  She quizzed mockingly.

“I do apologize.  It was my understanding that-”

“Where do you get off ordering around OUR schervantsch?”  Murderface butted in.  The klokateer himself never expected the bassist to be his savior.  

“Oh there you are sire! Miss Remeldtindrinc has arrived. The uh- less scary one.”  The near-groveling gear was quickly dismissed with a shove and a trademark ‘fuck off’ as his far-from-benevolent master stood staring the small woman down.  Venus thought to call the worker out on his comment, but recalling the last time she’d upset Abigail, she concluded he was well within his rights to title them as such.  

“In all fairness, he was assigned to me.  But enough about that.” Venus eased off her cutting tone, directing a genuine smile and greeting at the man.  

“What’re you schmilin’ at?”

Venus, consistently unfazed by textbook Murderface behavior, sauntered over to the couch, her backpack thrown over one shoulder.  “Can’t be happy to see a familiar face?  It feels like it’s been ages!”  

“You schtayed for a month and went home for a week.”  He pointed out, following her.

She ignored the factual assertion. “Where’re the rest of your heathen friends?”  

He crossed his arms. Right, he was supposed to be laughing at her misfortune.  “They’re not here.  Looksch like you flew all this way for nothing.  But hey champ, better luck nexsht time!  I’ll be scheein’ ya!”  He began to motion her back to the door.  

Venus stood her ground, causing William’s force to become apparent.  She turned to face him.  “You… don’t wanna hang out with me?”  The less chipper tone caught him off guard.

“Well ahhh-  What?”  He backpedaled, unsure of what upsetting his band mate’s girlfriend would beget.  Not to mention, the hurt looked pretty genuine. “I’m not- I juscht figured…” Now he was the one sounding pouty, much to the young woman’s amusement.  

“Figured I wouldn’t want to hang with the legend: William Murderface just cuz the rest of the guys aren’t here? Get the fuck outta here, goofy!”  She nudged him in the ribs.  “You wanna party?  Let’s go party!”  

Before he could respond she was dragging him back to the drummer’s room.  ���Just lemme change and we can be on our way.  What’re ya thinkin?  Dive bar?  Upscale joint?  Karaoke?” He was overwhelmed already, internally questioning how Pickles could tolerate this ball of enthusiasm on a regular basis.

She dumped the contents of the backpack on the drummer’s bed observing the pile as if even she wasn’t sure what all she’d stuffed inside.  “We could go hang with some bikers.  I brought my leather pants!”  Venus exclaimed, clutching the pair to her chest, expressing aloud how ecstatic she was to be able to fit them again.

William propped himself against the wall with his shoulder, defeated in his quest to disappoint the woman. He supposed this was fine.  It was a rare occurrence for him to feel welcome.  Why not make the best of it? “Well there’sch thisch bar in Shcotla… what are you doin’ there?”  He asked as Venus spritzed her curls.

“Hm?  Oh, ya see with hair like mine or Abigail’s, it gets dry faster than say, Skwisgaar’s.  So I have this handy little mixture of conditioner and water to keep the ‘fro in check.”  She’d gotten accustomed to explaining these things due to her favorite stoner’s curious nature and lack of self-maintenance on what hair he had left.  

“Condishioner?”  

She rolled her eyes. “Willy, come on.  Even good ol’ boys have conditioner.”  He raised an eyebrow.  “You’re joking!”  She turned to him, her mouth agape.  A slight headshake led her to begin plotting.  “Come here.” She waved him over.

“Why?”  William grew defensive again.  Venus tapped on the trigger of the spray bottle and imitated the spritzing sound effect.  “What? Why would I wanna do that?” He inquired.

She shrugged, going back to her own routine.  “You get a lot of shit for your hair, don’tcha?”  He couldn’t disagree.  “But hey, you won’t catch me upset about being able to save on product, so to each their own.”  She chuckled, scrunching the spirals to her liking and going back to mumbling to herself. “Kind of a ponytail night…”  

He spoke up, his interest piqued by the open options.  “What’sch the big deal?  Doesch it feel that different?”

Venus grabbed his wrist and patted his hand against her mane, having him compare the sections she’d worked on against the rest.  “I’d say so, wouldn’t you?”  

The bassist found himself relaxing again.  “Alright. I’ll try it.”  He agreed, with less hesitation in his voice.  “But this doeschn’t mean I’m schome nancshy boy, ok?  You get that thought outta your head, if that’sch what your angle isch!”  He reminded her with a threatening index finger.

Venus snickered, motioning for him to have a seat on the bed.  “Lemme ask you somethin’, Murderface.  What exactly constitutes homosexuality?  To you?  How can you‘tell’ someone’s gay?”  She humored his admittedly irritating notions as she begun attempting to part his hair.

“Well that’sch obviousch!” William rolled his eyes; confident he had the world figured out.  “You alwaysch see those dudesch with their fancshy clothesch and their two-hundred dollar haircutsch.  Never wanna get their nailsch dirty.”  He listed off.

“So Offdensen?”  She teased.

“No!  Not Offedenschen!  I mean- I don’t think scho.  No, like thosche pretty boy asscholesch with tight pantsch!”  He attempted to specify.

“Skwisgaar and Toki then?”

“Nooo!  Or maybe!  I don’t fucking know what those Schcandinavian baschtardsch do when no one’sch lookin’!”  He shuddered at the thought.

“Nate’s pants are pretty tight.  You think he’s gay?”  Venus giggled, working the leave-in spray through the dehydrated mass atop his head.

“Ok, no, Nathan’sch not gay.”

“Why isn’t Nathan gay?”

“Cuz he likesch pusschy!”

“Skwisgaar likes pussy more than anyone I’ve ever met.”  Venus countered.  

“He’ll fuck anything that movesch.”  William noted.

“You are dangerously close to understanding my point, bud.”  Venus giggled.

“What are you talking about?!”  He sighed in exasperation.

Venus attempted again to run the comb through his hair with only the slightest avail.  “Alright, hear me out. You know who else likes pussy and women in general?”  He gave her a questioning gesture.  “Yours truly.”

“Ok grossch, too much informatschion.”  He noted. “But you’re dating Picklesch which obviouschly meansch-”

“I get more now than ever in my life because the boy’s a master of the ménage.  You are correct, sir!”  She said cheekily.  “But I also love my little Irishman.”

Murderface raised an auburn brow, grunting slightly as she struggled with her task.  “Scho you don’t do threeschomesch just becausche he wantsch you to?”  

“No, dude.  I wanna bang who I wanna bang and I don’t worry about what’s in their pants until I get there. And then, I’ll happily make use of whatever awaits me.”  Venus smirked.  “Hell Nona’s mostly a lesbian.  So’s Abigail. Nathan is an outlier for a lot of girls I know...” She trailed off, distracted by pondering why that may be.

“So what’sch your point?” He huffed.

“I’m saying your sexual identity is based on who you wanna have sex with.  It’s that easy.  For some of us it can be anyone.  For some of us it’s none.  And you can’t be 100 percent sure who likes what unless an individual tells you.  So knock off that stereotyping shit.”  She threatened with a tug at his hair.  

He shrugged.  “I just have a sixschth schensche about thesche thingsch.”

“We call that gay-dar. It tends to be a lot more effective when used by our kind.”  She snorted, spraying his locks again.  

“Agh, don’t schay ‘our’ kind!  Feelsch like you’re lumping me in with ‘em.”

“I wasn’t. But if the shoe fits.”

“I don’t think I appreschiate the inschinuation.”

“Again, I’m not doing anything.  Maybe you’re projecting?”  He cast a furious gaze her way.  “And whether that is or is not the case, who. the hell. cares?  Honestly, what business is it of mine or yours what anyone does with another consenting adult?”

William sat in silence for a bit as she worked away at his unruly mane.  He pondered many deep-seeded thoughts he had never confronted before.  “Scho if I thought a man was…”

No sooner than he parted his lips, a nasal voice called into the room.  “Oh look at that, I didn’t know anybody else was here. Venus, babe, how the hell are ya?  Murderface, what are we doin?  Getting a makeover?”  Dick enthusiastically approached; shutting down any revelations the bassist may have been coming to.

“Knubbler!  Hi, doll!  Long time no see!”  Venus turned giving him a peck on each cheek once he reached her.  

Murderface returned to his defensive posture, annoyed with the new presence.  “What are you even doing here?  We don’t have any schesschions today.”  He pointed out in a grumble.

“Well ya see, I woke up on the recording room floor, figured it was a good night and thought you guys might wanna hang again!  Maybe get some sushi, hit the bar. What do you say?”  The engineer suggested.

Venus gasped, finally finagling the wide-tooth comb through a portion of William’s knots.  “Great minds think alike!  That’s why I’m here too.  But everyone bailed on us.”  

Knubbler gave her a set of finger guns.  “Well it’s your lucky day.  I can take you to one of my favorite places since nobody is here to object.  Bright lights, beautiful people, the whole nine yards, babe!”   He trusted she’d be in full agreement.  They had similar tastes based on some of their previous chats.  

“Excusche me, I might fuckin’ object!”  Murderface turned; offended by the assumption he shared their affinity for the club scene.

“Aw come on, Dick’s cool! He’ll show us a good time.  Old timers always know the best spots!” Venus goaded the brunet.

The man’s robotic eyes flashed red.  “Hey who are you callin’ old?  I’ll have you know, I can run circles around you and everybody else!  I’m a fifth of vodka in right now and you wouldn’t even know it!”

Venus giggled at the notion. “Sounds like something old man Pickles would say too.”  

After a heated battle with William’s coif and a few skincare pointers, the three of them found themselves in the deth limo, a bottle of champagne passing between them.  

“So what’s the scoop, Knubbles?  The suspense is killing me.”  Venus questioned, hoovering a line off the mirrored tray to her left.  

“This place is fucking amazing.  Drinks are a little pricier these days than I’d like, but what are you gonna do, right?” He chuckled.  

Murderface shook his head. “You’d better hope scho.  If it’sch lame, you two can say goodbye to your inschtant accessch passch.”  

“Grumpy, grumpy. Here, put some more liquor in you and get chipper, motherfucker!”  Venus slurred lightly.  

“Hot girls are instant access either way, Willy.  Don’t worry about us.”  Dick added on.  “And if you need a pick-me-up, I know a guy.”

“Awwww, Dick, you sweetheart.”  She waved a hand at him coyly as the vehicle came to a stop.  

They stood outside the disco, gazing up at the neon sign.  William fiddled with his wavier ‘do, suddenly worried about his appearance.  He wasn’t one to dress for this environment, after all. “Just relax.  You look great, man.”  Venus put a reassuring hand on his shoulder before they journeyed inside.  

Dick teleported to the bar, making a shady transaction beneath a napkin as he ordered a round for the three of them. He waved William and Venus over for extra hands.  

Climbing into an empty booth, Dick displayed the napkin in his half-closed hand.  “This shit will make you have a good time whether you want to or not.”  He grinned.

A weary Venus motioned for him to slide her the thin paper.  The small pouch wrapped inside contained 10 blue pills with tiny dolphins stamped on the sides.  “Ohh. Good.  This I can work with.”  She nodded in approval.

“What?  What isch it?”  William leaned over to get a better view.  

Venus removed a pill from the bag and gave him a closer view.  In a loud whisper she informed him.  “It’s ecstasy.  You should take it.”   She handed him the drug with a big grin.  “Thanks, by the way, Dick.  You didn’t have to do all this.”  

Knubbler shrugged. “What can I say?  I’m a nice guy.”  He boasted, tossing three of the pills into his mouth.  The younger pair stared in awe.  “Hey I don’t keep up, I do laps.”

Thirty minutes later and William felt himself loosening up.  Of course he’d experimented with many things over the years, but X wasn’t really his forte.  Call him old school, but booze and coke was a failsafe combo.  No need to complicate things, to hear him tell it.  

He panicked as he slipped the cocktail waitress a five and felt the fibers slide from between his fingers. Venus and Dick stifled laughter. “Hey you two schut the fuck up. Thisch is your fault!”  He whined.

“No, no, Willy, babe. We’re not laughing atcha.  It’s just a happy high.  Come on, let’s go dance!”  Knubbler bounced in his seat as the electronic bass bumped.  

“I don’t dansche.” Murderface insisted.

Venus slid him her cup of water.  “Come on! You pretty much gotta on this stuff. Look.”  She pointed to a woman lurking near the dance floor.  “She’s not having the time of her life.  Let’s go change that.”  She insisted, grabbing a hold of William’s hand and tugging lightly. “My friends pull ass when we go out. You’re not exempt.”

Murderface sighed, downing the remainder of the water and succumbing to the excess energy and peer pressure.  What was new?  He wondered to himself as they approached the colorfully lit tiles.

Dick immediately went into disco king mode, doing the hustle into the bustling crowd and leaving the metalhead and his tormentor to fend for themselves.  Venus shrugged, offering a hand to Murderface.  “If ya can’t beat ‘em, join em!”  She cheered, urging the bassist to twirl her.  

The lonesome looking woman flashed Venus a smile, seemingly amused with her dramatics.  She was a bit older, dressed in business casual wear.  Venus motioned for her to join them in their awkward boogying.  She initially declined, but Murderface, now fully immersed in his high, trapped her in an air lasso.  The woman hid a shy grin behind her hand as she hopped toward them, allowing herself to be pulled by the imaginary rope.

Venus took the opportunity to spin both of them, taking her cues from the confident blonde across the room. “Ok!  I see y’all” She cheered them on as the woman showed William her adorably dorky robot.  He countered with the sprinkler earning hoots and hollers from fellow patrons nearby.  The crowd loved the silly display, starting a wave of all the best throwback moves.  And all hell broke loose as the DJ caught wind of the group activities and slowed it down for the electric slide.

A few younger adults stood in confusion.  “What’s wrong?  Never been to a wedding before, kiddos?”  Knubbler attempted to spur them into action.  Venus ran to the front of the group of 20-somethings and helped them get the hang of things.  It was quite the show to behold.  

By the end of the line dance, the bar was in a happy uproar, requesting more oldies and running on nostalgia fuel.  Knubbler downed a water and got back to work, while Venus stopped by the shy pair to announce she was going for a smoke break.  “Oh wait, me too.”  The woman chuckled.

“Me three!” Murderface, followed, needing the fresh air more than anything.

“So what brings the infamous William Murderface to a place like this?”  The gruff-voiced woman queried in the quieter smoking area.

William repeatedly failed to work his zippo as he tried to formulate a response.  

Venus stepped in, lighting everyone’s cigarettes for them.  “Everyone likes a night on the town.  And nobody likes the same old, same old all the time.”  

“Yeah, what sche schaid.” William pointed a thumb at his slightly more social comrade.

The woman brushed choppy blonde bangs out of her face, enjoying the cooler night air on her forehead. “You’re right.  I’m getting too old for this myself.  But it had been a while since I made a public appearance so here we are.”  She motioned to her surroundings.  “The two of you don’t strike me as 808 fanatics though.”

Murderface leaned against the railed enclosure.  “Fuck no we’re not.  Thisch was all Knubbler’sch idea.  Just makin’ the bescht of a bad schituatschion.”  He rolled his eyes.

“Oh shush, Murderface. We’re having fun!  You can’t pretend you’re not.  Was that the lawnmower I saw back there?”  Venus teased.

“Ok, ok, schut it.” He chuckled lightly, releasing a small smoke cloud.

“And you’re the drummer’s girl, right?  Sorry, I’ve just seen you in the tabloids.”  The woman clenched her teeth, worried she was saying too much.

Venus chuckled, squatting down to the woman’s eyeline.  “They still don’t know who I am?  What a drag. I was hoping to be a household name by now.”  She giggled. “Yes I am the not-so-mysterious ‘Yorko Ono’ here to ruin the band or whatever tripe they’re sellin’.  My government is Venus.”  She offered the woman her hand.

“Marta.”  The woman shook Venus’s hand.  Murderface leaned over the table and received a shake as well. Boy, was her grip strong.  Murderface waved his hand, silently cursing at his now sore fingers.  

“Nice to meet you, Marta.” Venus smiled, forcing herself not to laugh at poor William’s crushed bass-playing hand.  “And if ya don’t mind me pointing it out, you don’t look much like one for the disco yourself.”  

“Oh, I’m definitely not.” She chuckled, taking another hit. “It’s my little sister’s birthday and she lives for this shit.  I’m more for the beer drinkin’ than the booty shakin’.”  She said with a matter-of-fact tone.  

“What do you normally lischten to then?”  William chimed in.  

“Hmm...  Thrash.  Though I guess I don’t look the type for that these days either.”  She raised devil horns with a sinister grin.  

Venus squealed in excitement, internally of course.  She was determined to hook them up now.  “A thrash gal, huh?  Who’s your favorite?”

“Fucking Exodus.  Holy crap man, I saw them in ’89 and I’ve been in love since.”  

“The Fabulousch Dischastour?!”  William chimed in excitedly.  “Fuck, man, that schit was fucking aewschome!”  He sat next to her and proceeded to gush about the bands he saved up for or snuck in to see in high school.  Venus flicked her cigarette into the ashtray and quietly departed, convinced her work there was done.

A few hours passed and the younger squadron of dancing machines tracked down team mom Marta, who’d been chatting up Murderface all night.  Venus sloppily knocked back a jack and coke as she approached the table to check on her match-making project.

“We’re ready to hit the next spot.  Are you coming?”  A long-haired woman questioned Marta.  

Venus watched Marta’s eyes dart between the girl she assumed was the aforementioned little sister and her new friend.  “Actually I was thinking I might head out.  But I’m glad you invited me!”  

The birthday girl cheerfully waved her off, giving her friends a suggestive smirk about the whole scenario once she was out of her sister’s sight.  

Knubbler approached, sweaty and still raring to go.  “Where to next, VR?”

She looked at the incoming call on her phone.  “Ahh, I’m being summoned!”  Venus flailed about, excited to see her beau but also in desperate need of updates on the William and Marta situation.  She answered Pickles’ call.  “Babe ohmygod, this is too cute, you need ta see it!  I’m not drunk, you’re drunk!  I mean yeah I am but thass irrelevant!”

She fluxuated between swears and giggles as one of the klokateer’s threw her over his shoulder, holding the phone to her chest as she screamed back to her small posse.  “Go on without me!  Remember me, brothersss!”  

Marta chuckled waving to the excitable woman.  “It was nice meeting you, Venus!”

“Nice meetin’ you, you won’erful badass of a lady! Be safe ok, I love you guys dearly!!”  Her words faded out as she was carried away. “Dick, you’re my hero!  Murderface, be good! Marta!  I know we jus’ met but be my first child’s godmother!”  Venus shouted holding onto the doorframe.  “Alas, I must go!”  She shouted in defeat as she was pried away for the night.

A month later, Venus was en route to Mordhaus giddy over a text from her bassist pal.  He seemed to be much more cheerful than usual.  

“Yeah he hasn’t been around much dese past few weeks, but dat can’t be why!”  Pickles asserted.  

“You’re just awful!” Venus snorted, attempting not to laugh aloud and encourage the drummer’s shit talking.  “Be nice to your band mate.  Also, I have no reason to lie. Look!” She shoved her phone toward his face.

“Yeah I really feel like Marta gets me.  Hell, I think I get myself more now. Thanks for the assist, bro.” And so it read.

He lowered the phone. “You tryin’ ta tell me dis chick was haht, single, inta metal, AND interested?  In fuckin’ Murderface?  Yer fuckin’ with me.  Or you must’ve passed out and dreamt dat shit up!”  Pickles shook his head in disbelief, pulling her into his lap.

“You’ll see when we get there! I didn’t even black out!  I remember everything.”  She settled into her place atop the cozy redhead’s thighs, examining the small image on her finger.  A devil emoji.  “Except the part where you convinced me to do this, you ass.”  Pickles snickered at the thought, recalling the actual events of her threatening to personally torture a series of klokateers if one of them didn’t come forth and admit to any tattooing experience.

“Yep.  Dat’s my bad.  You betcha.”  He rolled his eyes.

Once inside, Marta excitedly ran to hug Venus at the door.  “Long time no see!”  

Venus returned the excited embrace.  “So what’s the scoop, girl?  Will I be seeing you around these parts more often?”  

“Oh, about that.  I mean yeah, but not for… ah what was it you call it?  Murderface-sitting?”  Marta chuckled.  Before Venus could ask any more, she summoned over a blonde man.  He sported a septum ring and a series of lovely art pieces on his arms.  “Venus, this is my brother, Max.”  Venus stared at the man, mildly perplexed as she shook his hand.  “We’re twins, biologically and in spirit.”  

Murderface approached the huddle.  “’Schept he can do tattoos and piercingsch, so technically he’sch the cooler twin.” He joked.

“You dick!”  Marta laughed, punching the bassist in the arm.

Venus finally managed to read the room.  “Oh… OH! Well I am psyched to meet you Max!” She retried her handshake.  “And welcome to the gang!”  She winked.

“Nice to meetcha.  And thanks.”  Max said, happily accepting the pleasantries.

Marta clasped her hands together.  “Well! Now that intros are out of the way, I actually have a few errands to run, so I have to get goin’.”  She apologized for not being able to hang for longer.  

“Oh next time for sure!” Venus smiled waving her off.

“Well, an ass beatin’ on wheelchair bound is callin’ your name, motherfucker!”  Max bragged, turning to the bassist.

“Oh you’re fuckin on, dude!” William shouted, flashing the pair a genuine smile as Max pulled him away.

Venus swooned as she and Pickles made their way down the castle’s corridor.  “Must be spring.  Love’s in the air.”  

Pickles blinked at her in confusion.  “Arite maybe I’m missin’ sumthin.  Dat chick just bailed.  Whut’s so lovey-dovey about dat?”  

She turned to him with a sigh.  “I… am not at liberty to say.  Not our business what two consenting adults do.”  The short girl smirked, placing a light tap at the tip of his nose.

“No, wait, wut da fuck am I not getting’ here?”  Pickles whined.

“He’s my boyfriend, you fuckin’ dumbassch!”  Murderface shouted down the hall.

“Yeah, ya fuckin’ dumbass.” Venus snickered throwing her beanie in the speechless Pickles’ face.  

“Ohhhh!”  Pickles had a laugh at his own expense.  “Well good fer him!”

[chokefriends]

Hall Pass

ZoSan modern AU fragment with cute boyfriend banter and light bondage. It's just 3+ kinds of trash, porny, giddy and fluffy, I cant stand myself 

Explicit, no warnings.

Read below or on AO3, I’m Ossicle!

Sanji blew through Zoro's front door swinging his keys on one finger, wearing a bloody oxford and a slightly frantic look.

“Mossman, I need a lemon zester and one hell of a hall pass.”

Zoro paused mid-crunch, hanging by the knees in the kitchen doorway, and took out one blaring ear bud. “...Whose ass??”

“Idiot. Move.”

Zoro crunched up so Sanji could get by underneath him. He checked his watch. Weird… the workaholic never left his shop before eight if he could help it. Sanji ran this artisanal butcher shop / charcuterie / whatever, the hipster kind with twelve different ground meat mixtures on ‘tap’ and all these tatted-up, lumberjack-looking shop boys manfully wrangling sausage links in the shopfront. Hence the blood-spattered shirt—chronic nosebleeds.

Zoro twisted around to watch the blond ransack his kitchen drawers, apparently for some ass-related thing.

“Turkey baster somewhere in there, if that's—”

Sanji stopped and shot him a look. “What? No. I'm looking for a lemon zester. And a hall pass… which, let me just say, I VERY fucking deserve after this hell week…”

Zoro plugged the earbud back in and resumed his upside down workout routine. Sanji was just getting himself into one of his rambling Sanji States. Probably just work-related; probably not requiring Zoro's input… He crunched and counted until, a few reps later, a blue eye was suddenly glaring in front of his face.

Sanji tugged an ear bud out of Zoro’s head.

“Lemon zester.”

Zoro dangled, and thought carefully. “The vibrating thing?”

“NO, you houseplant. The thing that's like a cheese grater but with little bitty teeth.”

“...and whose ass is this for?”

Sanji threw the earbud down and went back to tearing apart the kitchen.

Zoro swung down from the door-mounted bar and left him to it. He took a quick shower, and settled in the sectional couch with his sweatpants on and a pile of physio grading next to him. This class he was TAing for was fuckin brutal, tests every week and three exams, all graded by a small team of grad students who were rumored to be robots but were actually masochists. Just constant work; Zoro loved it.

Sanji finally found what he was after and slid over the top of the couch to join the stoic gradbot. He held his prize and looked at Zoro, eyebrows raised expectantly. This usually meant that he thought Zoro was being too stoic and should say something.

“...Bitty cheese grater,” Zoro commented.

“It’s a lemon zester.”

“For what.”

“Getting laid,” Sanji stated matter-of-factly.

Well. It wasn't the weirdest come-on the erratic gourmand had ever tried.

“Okay.” Zoro pulled the pert ass into his lap and went for it.

“Heyhey, hold it, hooold it, that’s not what I came here to… or actually… yeah, hm…” Sanji trailed off as strong hands grabbed at him greedily. His belt buckle clunked to the floor.

“Heh. Lemon zester…” Zoro shook his head. “You don’t have to stash all your weird kitchen stuff here just for an excuse to come over anymore. You know that right, Cook?”

“I know! Just… habit…”

“Mhm.” Zoro focused on the deepening arch of the back in front of him. He pulled the shirttails free and let his hands wander up underneath.

Sanji cleared his throat and tried to focus. “I was tryna ask for a thing, though. Uh…”

“Yeah? Something in particular?”

“Oh yeah, hall pass.”

Zoro paused for a second in case Sanji felt like making this easy and just saying what the hell that was. But the guy was either being coy or was getting distracted by the hand in his pants.

“That a position?” Zoro prompted.

“Hm? No, it's… do you seriously not know what a hall pass is?” Sanji looked over his shoulder.

“Well, sorry if I don't know all the gay lingo like some scene queens—”

He could just feel the force of Sanji's eyeroll. “It's not even! It's such a straight boy thing, you've definitely heard it, bro-y scene like yours. Like ‘bruuuh, Vegas bruh, got a hall pass from the ol ball and chain,’ ugh.”

Zoro frowned. “Great. So am I the bro or the ball and chain.”

Sanji clambered around to face him instead. “Oh my god don't be ugh about it. I'm just observing how your muscle nerd crowd is a whole thing. Don't get off-topic.”

“Well you're the one calling people bros, so—”

“Well you're the one going to grad school for gym, so.”

Sanji crossed his arms. He was doing his pout thing, as though Zoro was the one being difficult. And he was still all disheveled and covered in blood… A familiar tic went through Zoro's eye at the exact same time as that other tic went through his dick.

“Other way. Face the other fuckin way.” Zoro turned the blond away from him and got back to work on his pants.

“Nope, you're dealing with this FACE.” Sanji stubbornly resisted.

They ended up on the floor really quickly, as usual, Sanji trying to mush his face against Zoro’s, and the latter trying to pin him facedown. It did kinda seriously irritate Zoro that his superior crunch power didn’t seem to count for anything against the noodle-boned butcher. The guy knew it, too, and liked to aggravate his sparring partner with non-standard moves.

“If I give you a forehead-hickey, I win,” the clinging blond declared.

“NO.”

“C’mere, sexy forehead.”

“NO.”

It fuckin paid off once Zoro did get him under control, though. The satisfaction was nigh euphoric. This time Zoro got the butcher’s hands behind his back and a knee in his spine, and Sanji gave up his squirming with a laugh. He hmmed against the rug and allowed his hands to be secured with the ever-ready bandana. He was hard and eager when Zoro turned him back over and settled heavily overtop of him, smothering him with a deep kiss.

“It’s been a second,” Sanji breathed when Zoro let up.

“Yeah. I’ll go slow.”

“Mm. Kay but how about not slow.”

“Heh…”

Zoro went ahead and ignored that request. He liked to draw out the lead-in once he’d gotten to this point, to get back at the guy for all his ridiculous shit, but also because Sanji just got more and more fuckable the more desperate and disheveled he got.

Sanji blew his long curtain of blond hair out of his eyes and glared down at the too-slow proceedings between his knees. “Put the fucking dick in your mouth, fucking put. The fucking dick. In your fucking… ah!… fuck, ah…”

That was the third finger, and Zoro let himself grin a little. He watched the long limbs tense and un-tense as he eased his hand in and out. He gave the needy dick another swift, brief massage with his tongue, and stifled a laugh when Sanji kicked him.

“You want me to fucking beg??”

“Yeah, I’m a fan of that,” Zoro nodded his encouragement.

“DICK IN YOUR MOUTH.”

“That’s not begging…”

“DICK,” Sanji insisted.

Zoro laughed and came up to kiss the irate butcher. “...Dick??”

“Dick.”

With his slight smile widening into a full-on grin, Zoro got up so he was straddling Sanji’s shoulders. The blue eye widened, “Not THAT di—hhhhnnnck”

“Hm what?”

Sanji gave a deeply sarcastic roll of his eyes. He couldn’t say much else, though.

Zoro eased in deeper, feeling himself gradually hardening in the wet mouth with its quick tongue.

“C’mon, get me hard.” He pulled back a little so Sanji could swallow and adjust his head, then pushed in deep enough to nudge the back of his throat. “C’mon. You want me to fuck your throat? Suck.”

A cocky eyebrow challenged him to do just that, and Zoro obliged. He watched the smooth lips strain around his cock and the blue eyes start to water. Zoro fit a hand around the back of his neck and angled it way up, so he could hold him still and fuck down into his face. Sanji started making those urgent sounds he was after, and he felt himself edging already… fuck.

“Mm! Mmmm!!… ah!” Sanji’s eyes were screwed shut and his mouth wide open, gasping air, as Zoro pulled out of his mouth and hurried to get a condom on and lube himself up.

“Face or floor?”

“Face, cuz deal with it,” Sanji determined, stubborn streak still fully intact despite his flustered flush.

“Fair.” Zoro left him on his back.

He parted the well-toned thighs and braced a hand on each one, pressing Sanji's legs so wide apart they were touching the floor. God, this body was just made to be fucked, it was so smooth and yielding. Zoro’s dick found the tight hole, and it opened up around him just as smoothly.

“Fuck,” he groaned, steadying himself, “I can’t believe how flexible you are. I could do anything to you…”

Sanji made a little scoffing noise between heavy breaths. “Think you could you shut up and fuck me, though?”

Zoro leaned into him suddenly and heavily, without answering. That got a harsh intake of breath, but it wasn’t yet the desperate gasping he was going for. He canted his hips and dragged out frustratingly slow. He really wanted to let go and just… fucking pound the hell out of the trim, pliable body. Just as much as Sanji wanted him to do it. But he was the disciplined one, here, and also, holding out on the other was a pleasure in itself.

He slid into that perfect heat over and over, deliberate and deep, until the blond’s voice got that wild edge to it. He was as vocal when he was being fucked as the rest of the time, and it got to Zoro just as much. In a good way—Zoro usually prided himself on being all quietly composed during sex, but Sanji had this way of completely letting himself go, and taking the other with him.

“Zoro, Z-zoro ah! Ahh!”

“Shit… ah, fuck, Cook…” Zoro gathered up both legs and hooked them over his shoulder, so he could fold Sanji almost in half and sink straight down into him. Their faces were close together, they were breathing each other’s air, hardly even hearing what was being gasped out between breaths. Sanji was saying something like “Want you, want you, want you,” and Zoro was probably just saying “Cook” and “fuck,” but even he wasn’t sure.

“I’m gonna come,” Zoro gasped out finally.

“Fuckin cmon then, ah…”

It felt like he could just come and come like this. Everything was so tight and hot, Sanji was kissing him and he was getting lightheaded. Zoro waited until his ears stopped ringing and his blood pressure went down a little. He opened his eyes to Sanji’s flushed face, still glassy-eyed with need. He loosened the bandana and shuffled down to put that dick in his mouth, as requested.

“Yes… fuck…” Sanji twisted out of the ties and crossed his arms under his head, shuffling until he was comfortable.

They’d been fucking for a few months now, more and more regularly, and Zoro pretty much knew how to get him off any time. It was better to make him wait a little, though. Winding the guy up so tight like this, he'd go over the edge like a ton of bricks. Zoro swallowed him down smoothly and then pulled back off until he was massaging the head with his tongue, sucking hard. He jammed two fingers into his ass at the same time, hard and even, like Sanji wanted when he was close. And he was so, so close right now… He’d hooked both legs over Zoro’s shoulders and was hanging on, tensed and swearing.

He came and was wordless for a full minute while Zoro worked every last drop out of him with the same steady insistence.

“...Unnh… hh…”

Zoro grinned to himself a little as he caught it all in his mouth. Catching Sanji’s eye, he licked stray drops from his fingers and swallowed it all with deliberate relish.

“Fuck… that’s hot,” Sanji commented, letting out a spent laugh and flexing the feeling back into his toes.

“Mm…” Zoro sighed and sat up to consider his own state. His dick was half-hard again, come leaking down inside the condom. He watched Sanji lying back and trying to recover his head, still all hazy and addled with pleasure. So fucking fuckable.

He pulled the blond over by the arm and nipped his ear.

“Ah!”

“Can I do it hard?”

“I dunno. Can you?” Sanji needled him. “Ow.”

Zoro gave a soothing suck at the chomped ear. “I dunno, can I?”

“Haha… mmm. Floor?”

“Yeah…” Zoro moved on to sucking at his neck urgently, massaging what was now a fully hard erection.

Sanji laughed at him. He turned over facing the floor and braced on his forearms while Zoro fit a new condom on. “I should make you beg instead. Shitty dog, practically humping my leg.”

He quieted for a moment as Zoro pushed him flat and ground into him in one insistent push.

Sanji steadied himself and chuckled, “Ahh… haha. Here, boy. Now sit—mff!”

Lying atop of him like this, Zoro had his hands free, so he clamped one over Sanji’s mouth.

“Shhh… stay. Good boy.”

Sanji huffed an outraged sigh through his nose at the order. But by the way he moaned into Zoro's hand and arched his back into Zoro's driving thrusts, he was probably gonna come again soon.

“Why do you always wanna cuddle on the floor?” Sanji teased him, afterward. “There’s pillows right up there. I got them for a reason.”

“Just stay still a second,” Zoro mumbled from somewhere between Sanji's shoulder blades, thick arms wrapped around the narrow waist.

“I wanna smoke.” Sanji was already fidgeting and trying to get up.

Zoro tightened his arms so he was stuck.

“Why the floor, is all I'm saying,” Sanji objected.

“Well you're the one who likes to fuck on the floor, so.”

“Well you're the one who flips furniture when they get too into it, so.”

Zoro grinned to himself. “Yeah… You make yourself hell to wrangle, to be fair.” He shifted up a little so he could hook his chin over Sanji's shoulder.

Sanji laughed. “You like it.”

“Mm. I like fucking you into the ground, yeah.”

“Ah...” Sanji shifted and exhaled sharply at the lips on his neck. “You angling for another round? That why we're still down here in the fuck zone?”

“Nah, just comfortable.” Zoro let up his hold a little, so Sanji could turn in his arms and settle in facing him. “Hey, so what's this ass thing you want?”

“Hall. Pass.” Sanji sighed, and then swallowed. He was suddenly tense in Zoro's arms. “Uh. So first of all, the lemon zester. I need it to lend to this… individual? So I have an excuse to go over and say heyy? Cuz earlier he was kinda like, heyyyy, lookin for a lemon zester. And this is NOT how I normally do things, okay. I'm pretty much the king of cling. But this guy is Christian Slater-level exceptional, and it'll be just once because honestly I'm getting a Christian-Slater-in-Heathers vibe more than anything and that is a sometimes-food…”

Zoro listened for a while, then counted to ten once he'd gotten lost, and tried to get back into the conversation. “...what?”

Sanji frowned. “What part is unclear.”

“The… hall pass.”

“Jesus Christ,” Sanji muttered to the ceiling.

“No, literally just use words that go together.”

“I have been! I've been so patient and thorough!”

Zoro reached for his sweatpants, lying on Sanji's other side. “I'll just fucking Google it. Gimme my phone.”

“N-no wait. Uh!” Sanji extended a long leg and kicked the pants across the room.

“...This is getting weird,” Zoro growled, getting up. “Did you not eat all day again? You know it's real ironic how often you forget to feed yourself.”

“I did forget but that's not the issue here!”

“Let go of my leg.”

“No!”

Zoro sighed at the weirdo hugging his ankle. “Okay. What's a hall pass.”

“It's when you ask your otherwise committed, exclusive partner for a one-time go-ahead to bang someone else because Christian Slater wants to get in your pants and it's a fucking sin to pass that up!”

Zoro sat down heavily on the couch. Sanji slowly came to sit next to him, legs folded and hands in lap.

“One-time,” Sanji insisted. “Christian Slater.”

“...actual Christian Slater?”

“Oh, uh, no, I just mean he's really hot and kinda weird.”

Zoro rubbed his head, his mind grappling with several, very urgent aspects of this matter. There was one part that really stuck out, though.

“So you'd say we're… exclusive? And stuff?” Zoro wondered, a little wild-eyed.

Sanji frowned. “Aren't we? Wait, are you—”

“Nono, I'm not seeing anyone else. I just mean like, we're… in a committed thing? You'd say?”

“Oh. Yeah,” Sanji confirmed, just realizing that he'd maybe skipped several steps in this whole talk. “Yeah, like, dating.”

“Oh, okay.”

Sanji was getting flustered again. “I mean, I guess I don't know if you wanna be… that way. We don't have to. It's so status quo, right? Ugh, haha, very not radical haha…”

“Nono, it's good. That's good.”

Zoro wasn't sure what else to say, and Sanji was looking at him expectantly, so he gave him a little peck.

Sanji seemed to accept this. “Okay good. Good talk. Um. So… all of it is good?”

“All of what.”

“Can I… the hall pass?”

Zoro frowned and thought. “Oh that. I don't know. I need to think some more.”

Sanji shuffled a little and Zoro realized he was stealing a look at the clock. “How much more.”

“Well more than a few fucking minutes!”

“Hour?”

“You're planning to go right now??”

“I was… Um.” Blue eyes wandered around the room. “Or not. If that's weird.”

“You’re weird. You're always so weird.” Zoro grumbled, trapping him in another bear hug and toppling them both to the couch. Sanji huffed but Zoro held on, an unfamiliar feeling making him stubborn.

Sanji waited til the count of ten, then went about disentangling himself from the other, anxious for a smoke.

“Let go of my leg,” Sanji complained.

“No.”

“Are you getting clingy?”

“No…”

He laughed. “Monosyllabic Marimo.”

Zoro wasn't budging on the time-to-think issue, so Sanji had to message whoever it was to postpone the lemon zester handoff. He'd already delegated things at the shop, so he actually had a rare evening free. He made snacks, and Zoro dragged the duvet over to the couch.

“So Christian Slater is a psychopath,” Zoro offered his thoughts on the nonsense movie they were watching, “But also, the Heathers seem like a high school Resident Evil situation. I'd purge with fire too.”

“Um, Christian Slater is a misunderstood super sweetheart with a minor murder problem,” Sanji objected. “And the Heathers are fabulous beyond reproach.”

“Her scrunchie matches her lipstick,” Zoro complained.

“That’s how you know she's a powerbitch.”

“I could tell from the shoulder pads.”

They watched Christian Slater shoot some more frat boys.

“Okay, not terrible,” Zoro approved by the end. “But I'm not convinced that Christian Slater should be allowed to fuck anyone, let alone MY otherwise exclusive, committed… thing.”

“You can say boyfriend,” Sanji offered.

“... 'Boyfriend,’” Zoro tried the word out, and immediately felt that stubbornness spike again. “Hmph.”

“Well this actual guy’s not a psycho killer, okay? He just… likes to give the impression that he is?”

“You're not selling this super well,” Zoro informed him.

Sanji considered the matter. “Well, what if you met the guy and saw that he was okay? You might already know him, actually, we have friends in common.”

“I doubt that,” Zoro grouched. “Who is it then.”

“Okay so you know your stupid orc-looking friend with the hair?”

Zoro spat out his cucumber water. “KIDD is Christian Slater??”

“Oh my god NO. It's his boy-thing, not him. As if I'd let that get its dick in me, plllease. He literally clanks when he walks.”

“He’d just be getting his dick in you by proxy,” Zoro put on his own pout face. “And I didn't know he had a boy-thing.”

“Yeah, apparently Christian Slater is into orc ass…”

Something occurred to Zoro. “This guy's a top?”

Sanji thought. “I guess…? He made it pretty clear how he'd like to do me in particular, so I assume—”

“Whoooaa, what if Kidd's a bottom,” Zoro interrupted.

“Hah. I doubt it. He’s always talking like he's the one getting his dick in everyone and everything… Christian Slater’s probably vers.”

“Nope, Kidd's a pillow-biter, it's settled,” Zoro settled back smugly. “And I can leg-press more than him.”

He got a pillow thrown at his smug green head by an exasperated boyfriend. “Yeah, yeah, you're supreme dick, dumbass. Biggest, sweatiest package around. Fucking typical top...”

“Damn right,” Zoro caught the next pillow. “Well I'm feeling rosier about this whole hall pass thing.”

Sanji paused with a cushion in hand and raised a flawless eyebrow. “Really? I literally just had to talk up your little guy?”

“Yeah, heh. Just make sure Christian Slater knows how monster this meat be.” Zoro patted his junk.

“I’ll bring it to his attention,” Sanji shook his head. But then he laughed and put his head on Zoro's lap. “Boyfriend,” he murmured.

“Boyfriend,” Zoro affirmed.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Estonia to Eurovision with a lowkey tribute to Avicii soundwise I guess

I’m not one of those people to go all their way out to overdefend Eesti Laul as “THE most diverse NF to ever exist songwise”, but even I was disappointed in this sudden rush of radiofriendly pop music that I would rather refuse to describe if I had to endure any of them ever again all at once this year. Remember - Netta won with being CRAZY! Why can’t Estonia be CRAZY even more! Was this secretly a bigger demand from the new producers or so that Estonia would need to out-radiofriendly the Latvians whose goal actually was to find a good radiofriendly song that’s enough for qualification????

Also, I kind of wanted to watch Eesti Laul, but I haven’t really settled with it, as I didn’t have enough patience to watch it one time it wasn’t on Saturday (!!). Even with Eesti Laul usually taking the live tweets from foreign fans into account and displaying some of them on the national Estonian television for good measure. And often showcasing their weirdness through crude animations every so often. But I already saw my Twitter timeline being full of that stuff, and for that I’m happy.

I did have some favourites despite being tired of all this pop stuff, and one of them was the ever-so-gender-ambiguous INGER (I say so cuz I thought it was a guy, turns out it’s a she, yeah), and I kind of wanted to see her win after the lowkey last minute interest towards her? But the televote didn’t seem to want any of it during the final public say, and didn’t even want Kerli (not the Spirit Animal Kerli) through despite of her being “hot” (are we now choosing ESC NF winners based on their looks??? tighten up ffs). Instead the final’s televote thought it’d be a good idea to fuck up the international jury’s expectations by putting through an act that got 2(!!!!!) finalised points from them jurors overall and making it win the superfinal. That televote 12 the act got beforehand was just enough for the guy to last-minute qualify over another act of 14 overall points, and who knows, maybe if it wasn’t for that 12, the winner would’ve been someone else. But it didn’t and we have a last minute qualifier victory because televote superfinal is a thing.

And in the literal sense of the way Estonian minds thought their victor that was unfairly treated by the juries was a Swedish singer Victor Crone and his song “Storm”, which was written by the one and only Stig Rastafarian~ err I mean Rästa. Stig is one mythical human creature that never rests a minute without really wanting to appear in the Estonian delegation somewhere every year - whether as all by himself, with someone else, as a songwriter for someone else, or even as part of a band (remember Traffic, anyone? Now that I think of it, the whole band looks like a puppet-act just for Stig to get to Eurovision and the other band members didn’t even want any of it in the first place). Just exactly what is Stig’s aim here? To "take it back to Tallinn”? To meet new people in Europe because he’s too lazy to travel otherwise? To boast about the many Estonian entries he contributed to? Beats me.

That and Victor Crone being Swedish, therefore a man more suited to Melodifestivalen (where he actually once participated in) and only on Eesti Laul because Stig really wanted to save his voice for this one and tag some randomer along with him just for the sake of yearly input to Eesti Laul. Well, at least Victor is historically joining Sahlene and Sandra Oxenryd as “a Swede represending Estonia for a year because what do we know for the Estonians that weren’t chosen instead”. Let’s check his song out.

First and foremost, as the title obviously states, the song reminds me of the late Avicii’s music style, especially around 2012-2013, when he was just starting to get bigger post-”Levels”-release. Just with a bit more singing surrounding the song because... well, maybe to fill up the song some more in order to not look awkward on stage during an instrumental part of the drop being as long as would be one you hear on the radio.

Then he has this easy-listening generic male radio voice that the audiences can not necessarily reasonate with, but it’s memorable, together with the chorus, whose purpose is to be memorable - you don’t need no message that’s special, you just need a melody to hum in your head for the next few weeks, and that’s basically what Stig was able to achieve with this little ditty. Then there’s the amazingly easy song structure: verse - chorus - verse - (extended) chorus - bridge - chorus (+ song ending). That’s a structure that works on basic songs to make them more user-consumption-friendly and not too overbearingly dragged out. And I enjoy it, just like I did “Light Me Up” last year, which was also sung by a mediocre-live-vocalist-Swede that could have easily ended up 6th in Melodifestivalen edition with such song, sadly. I do acknowledge that it’s basic, but I enjoy it.

The problem the Eurofandom finds with this song is that it’s too basic of a song from Eesti, Victor’s proven himself to be a dull live singer, and the chorus rhymes “like this” with “like this”, and all the self-rhymes are automatically shite. And it’s fine if a song I like has its flaws, but it automatically worries me that its live potential is automatically down the drain because of the singer’s lack of vocal compassion or strenght. That begs the question, why choosing THAT kind of song if it’s totally going to underperform live in Eurovision if the singer wasn’t sick in the NF at the time???

...oh I get it now, you Estonians must have thought Stig deserves another year in the Estonian greenroom. Or you found Victor hot. Or you find it great that a song about a storm actually was originally staged to look like Victor’s in a storm. At least for the televiewers’ eye. Because all that they see in the real arenas is the singers’ backs if they don’t turn around in time.

With visuals like these, why even need a music video! (except that there already is one, look at the beginning of the review)

All in all, all condiments are there: just the sugar, spice and everything nice there’s needed for a song like this to break a fandom like this. You can practically smell the Hesburger grease from this song. I don’t care if that’s a bad thing - if you like the song, that’s fine, just shut up and enjoy... but if you dislike it, welp, there’s no way I can change your mind then.

And a random backing singer. Not that she’s helpful as the one for Ott Lepland or anything, she just strikes like thunder and leaves no lasting impact whatsoever.

Greta Salóme’s imaginary cousin, is that you????

Now excuse me while I contradict and repeat myself some more in the next few paragraphs:

Approval factor: As you might have seen me shading Elina a lot last year, I can safely say that at last I’m spared from her vocal practice entrapped in a porcelain-and-silk dressing!!! I like “Storm” myself so I’ll sheepishly approve the hell out of it, lolol. :-)

Follow-up factor: I would be lying if I didn’t say that after a risky-ish way to get all out opera and then coming back to a safe song after doing well with that opera number weren’t a complete nosedive into an empty pool. Subjectively it flows way better for me, but objectively, and the same could be, once again, said for Eesti Lawl [sic] 2019, it is rather interesting of a letdown? But hey, maybe it was finally time for the Estonians to chillax a bit and cave in to send an Estonian-Swedish pop number after the opera stuff, after the 80s synthpop stuff, after the smooth and slightly orchestrated and a little bluesy number, and heart-grabbing ballads... just so they could keep up their ‘variety’ in case Hungary runs out of ideas and starts sending cop-outs of themselves. They already did it with rehashing one artist and one lyrical idea already this year (the catch is that the father’s alive!), honestly. And oddly enough, they have yet to send something a little more modern/electro-influenced that appeals to the common crowd... (”Running” may not count because not everyone can relate, whereas there are more cases of broken-off love (as if in the other half being a heartbreaker or the first half missing the other half so much that they feel “incomplete” than abusive fathers. Just what I think there is? If I’m wrong I obviously expect to be @’ed in the replies section lol) For this conclusion though I’ll say that my opinion says it’s a ‘’’decent’’’ follow up, but for Eurofans, it’s not very much so of such, idk.

Qualification factor: you may think it’s dead while going to perform in between the more badass entries AND mediocre live vocals, but it won’t at least be the worst Stig entry to ever place - around 14th in the semi at the very worst and maybe in the lower half of top 10 at very best imo. Nothing more, nothing less.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

I actually barely even bother with Eesti Laul since they don’t accept my Twitter comments live on their television anyways. Say, were there any Twitter comments live on their television this year? No one on Twitter boasted about it if they saw theirs from what I’ve seen, but what I’ve definitely found from the eager Eesti Laul watchers were some casual and usual Estonian oddities thrown on the broadcast, such as:

• The soft and warm but also random and deranged yearly transitional postcard animations (that were refered to as “crude” earlier in this review), which I commonly know now as “my last two braincells”. Even if the graphical theme itself of this year’s Ee-Lawl were oddly-shaped birds coming out in forms of letters, they didn’t really show up much in the broadcast I suppose, and the best fuckery with my mind this year definitely happened when I saw some of THOSE pop up on my Twitter timeline:

We now return to your regularly scheduled news programm~ wait why are you saying that the scheduled programme should be Eesti Laul

• Even if the most acts themselves weren’t that kooky musically, they were obviously interesting performance-wise. We were greeted with an impulsively quirky crazy cat lady Kaia Tamm who bemoaned the absence of the fluffy creatures in German somehow (you know Germany’s a terrible track-record keeper when the only song in German this year featured on Estonia and the only German in Eurovision this year was gonna be sung by an Ukrainian entrant if she was alowed to), as if a song in full Italian from last year wasn’t enough. Not only did she dress up as Alice in Wonderland with kitty ears, but her costumed dancers were entertaining, the violinist was FIRE and a cute large teddy bear looked cute on stage. Not to mention, someone have rightfully noticed that some costumed felines in the audience looked like as if they were to kill someone:

• Lumevärv too is an interesting thing. Never forgetting Lumevärv. This Inga woman, the fiery orangehead she was, used her 3 minutes on stage the best possible way with dancing with her back turned on at the audience and only looking at the camera, while millions of lights (which is sadly not what the songtitle "Milline päev" means) shone in the audience, creating an amazing mood.

• Hey everyone, the 10 years challenge is back! This time it’s with the violin virtuousess(???) Sandra Nurmsalu, the lead of Urban Symphony, who deserved much more than a 3rd place. Unfortunately the Estonians did not bring her back to get her desired revenge, which meant that they thought that they woodn’t need no magic tale fairy that’d grant them tree wishes and let her magic wand our out the wondrous [sic] sawdust. I’m already seeing myself out for how terrible this sounded. And it’s a bit saddening about this not doing as well as some hoped, considering she would have brough out the new and the better Jacques Houdek teas:

• Other favourite act of mine from this year, besides the aforementioned “ever-so-gender-ambiguous-looking INGER” with her indie-folk jingle “Coming Home”, was the charming disco-haired Sissi Nylia Benita with a wholesomely radio bop “Strong”, and they both actually looked like they stood a chance in the superfinal vote-up now that the actual Eesti Laul fan favourites, pretty cute pop boys like piano-indie-pop-driven Stefan and electro-pop-and-Kirkorov-driven Uku Suviste, were not receiving enough support by the juries I guess??? I’ll show a video to INGER if anything and link you all to the rest so you could judge these young and beautiful souls to yourselves in a way!

• Other note-worthy acts include another song about the notorious instrument horsefly in Ee-Lawl’s history that stood even less chance than “Parmupillihullus” but is still fun regardless, and the united forces of Tanja (EE 2014) and Birgit (EE 2013) trying to compose a bigband talk show anthem and dedicating the lyrics for them being ladies with their high heels out on. And honestly, that’s all I’m gonna talk of acts-wise because most other songs were THAT of a radiofriendly-radio-filler that they don’t warrant anything else exciting for me to say.

• No but for real, the voting to the superfinal was completely off-rails. Instead of Victor, juries were there to support that Kerli woman that wasn’t from 2017 (and her soft acoustic song too), as well as Sissi and INGER (but you already know that because I barely read my write-ups before I finish them, hence lots of redundancy). At least that’s all to my knowledge. But everything definitely changed when the televote attacked! And turned the top 3 all male, lol. This voting was rather random simply because the juries didn’t really love Victor, but it definitely took the televote to convince them that “lol Victor is definitely worth of Eurovision!!! screw that he’s non-Estonian!!!” (the difference is that Victor doesn’t have a big social media following unlike Bilal and didn’t win an obnoxiously people-powered talent show unlike USNK from A Dal 2018 - it’s just that he’s more backed by Stig Rästa, and Stig is love, Stig is life.) Honestly, I am all up for unpredictable voting, but if it looks unpleasant to me, then I feel like tuning out.

We’re over with this write-up, thank-fuck-fully, so that you won’t need to hear me lamenting how supposedly cheap “Storm” is ever again. But before that I will have to leave you with some Eurovision 2019 facts coming on: Estonian delegation can be lucky for once - instead of having had to panic for spending an egregious amount of money for a staging detail, this year they don’t have to worry, as the organizers were so shook by Victor’s stormy sky effect, they offered to pay for it themselves!!! Crazy, huh??? (reported for favouritism)

And now I’m done. And we’re moving on to another review and I end up wishing Victor Crone the every best of luck out there. Storm out with a good time well spent! (Whatever that might mean.)

[taetortotss]

pizza boi → lin yanjun

pizza boi → lin yanjun in which lin yanjun is the really cute pizza delivery boy that has successfully clouded your mind and heart

my previous work: boo → zhu zhengting for my other works: masterlist

be my friend!! i promise i don’t bite HAHA (i need more friends lmao)

(i used cpdb cuz i got lazy of writing the whole thing out oops)

you were craving pizza

because when and why would you not be craving pizza

you love pizza

so, with a really loud grunt, you stretched your arms and reached for your phone which was on the coffee table

you opted to order using the pizza store online website because you were too awkward to call the delivery hotline (true story :’))

ordering one large cheese pizza and an order of fries and chicken, fingers, your stomach grumbled at how hungry you were 

“YOUR ORDER HAS BEEN SENT” in bold words

“ESTIMATED WAITING TIME: 20 MINUTES”

this made you sigh and you decided to take a short nap while waiting for your food to arrive

you were jolted awake by the doorbell ringing and you were so ready to attack whomstever disturbed your slumber

then you remembered the pizza 

the doorbell rang again, causing you to go “oh shit” and scrambled to the door, completely unaware of your appearance

you were basically in your pjs and your hair was all over the place (you did just wake up)

“hi, your pizza is here, miss y/n,” the pizza delivery guy said.

and oh. my. god.

he was so NDBHBFJKDKNFJKD

ethereal? unreal? beautiful? handsome? cute? visuals on point?

“h..hi,” you managed out.

he was so good-looking, what the fuck?

you didn’t realise you were staring and that you were daydreaming (cancel) about pizza delivery boi

“miss, it’s 16 dollars,” his voice snapped you back into reality

and oh my god, even his voice seeps honey and all things sweet and nice-sounding

is he even human?

“right, um, let me get my wallet, wait a moment,” you stuttered before walking back to get your wallet

and of course, you had to trip on nothing and nearly fall

how. embarrassing.

pulling a face (half in embarrassment and pain), you took 20 dollars from your wallet, rushed back to the door

“here, keep the change,” you handed the cute delivery boy money and he handed you a bag full of food

“thank you!” you awkwardly thanked him for the food, and flashed him a smile and you closed the door before you could see his reaction or before he could say anything back

you didn’t know or see this, but cute pizza delivery boi left with a smile plastered on his face

you enjoyed your food a lot,  but you enjoyed the sight of cute pizza delivery boi a lot more

it’s been a few days, and the one thing that has been occupying your mind was cute!pizza!delivery!boy!

so you ordered a pepperoni pizza

primary reason: you were hungry

secondary reason: you wanted to see him again

(or is it the other way around? ;) )

now, you knew you were playing a gamble because you wouldn’t know if it was cpdb or not

you were on the edge of your sofa seat, fidgeting as you waited for the door to ring

this time, you were dressed up nicer than the other day

y’know to maybe impress cpdb HDSBJDHS

ding dong! ding dong!

“fuck he’s here already,” you thought

you opened the door, almost expecting a different delivery guy

BUT NO

IT WAS CUTE PIZZA DELIVERY GUY

you nearly died - somehow he was cuter as well

“one pepperoni pizza for ms y/n?”

ahh, you could drown in his voice uwu

“yeah, that’s me,” you smiled

and you really couldn’t stop smiling even after he left

neither could he, but you wouldn’t know that

you officially had it.

cpdb has been the main subject in your thoughts for days and he has successfully found his way in your heart

AND YOU BARELY KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM

jesus, you didn’t even know his name

you were basically in love (no, not really)

so this was you acting on your heart and not your brain

you pulled up the pizza store website, ordered a sausage pizza and garlic bread

and because your mind was so clouded and you weren’t thinking straight,

on the ‘add comments’ section,

you added:

hey, send me that really cute delivery boy with the dark hair and cute dimples and really nice voice xoxo

it was like you were drunk when you were typing that

you were about to erase it when.

your dumbass clicked “enter”

it took you at least five seconds to process what you just did

and you started screaming, horrified

the weight of your decisions are piling on your shoulders and you felt like cancelling the order

but you were also hungry and you love pizza and you wanted to see him again uwu

for twenty minutes, you were a fidgeting, nervous mess. you didn’t know why or what you were doing.

and when your doorbell went off, you decided that death has finally come for you!!1!

oh shit, you were dreading this moment so much

rip y/l/n y/n, you will be missed

you opened the door, really slowly

and there he was, in his true form and beauty,

cute pizza delivery guy

and he was,,, smirking?? at you??

you didn’t even want to look him in the eye - you were that embarrassed

“hey,” his tone was mischievous, a little flirty, if you will

“hi,” you squeaked, still not looking him in the eye

actually, looking at his body figure/physique wasn’t a very good idea either

you were bright red

like a tomato

“sausage pizza for miss y/n?”

oh god, you loved how your name rolled out his tongue, it was almost sinful

“yep, that’s me!”

god, the entire situation was so awkward and cpdb seemed to be enjoying it

“for the record, i find you extremely cute too.”

wait, what???

error 404, file y/l/n y/n not working!!!

“what,” you were taken aback, completely.

“you’re adorable. I like you,” he said, nonchalantly, liKE IT WAS NOTHING

“what?” you repeated, not getting his words in your head, but you had this big smile on your face (a quarter due to embarrassment and three quarters on how life isn’t fucking you over!!)

it really seems like cpdb was enjoying this, seen in how he was nearly doubling over in a laughing/giggling fit

“you’re so cute, yknow what, this pizza and your bread is on me, as long as you let me take you out on a date.”

“okay, but at least let me know your name. you know mine and ‘cute pizza delivery guy’s too long.”

might as well right?

“it’s lin yanjun.”

what a perfect name for a perfect boy

how did you get so lucky?

and that, ladies and gents, was the start of something new

uwu

[kit-kat-1221]

So like what is the point?

(see above) Like for this the entire sections after the beginning section ended and where the ending started, like was there any point? O_o Because it didn’t seem like it to me. Could have easily just said. “No why should it? You have your own ideas and thoughts. Just have fun with the things you like. No one had any right to tell you that you liking fan ideas is wrong. A lot of people like seeing what their creations inspire others to do. So just have fun, find people who like the same things and try not to worry too much about it. Sound good?”

Umm Lily who cares if someone finds Josh more attractive than you? Why should you care? You have a girlfriend right? Why not respond. “Eh whatever. I already got someone so I’m not in the market anyhow. Also everyone has their own things they are attractive to. I don’t expect people to all find me attractive. *shrug*. He’s not my taste anyhow.” Like you know a civilize person..... -.-

All I can say is, Lily only you would suggest this -.- Like seriously? Next thing you’ll suggest is a massive comment deletion just being like “clearing out weeds” .... 

For the Anon saying to leave Ink Rose alone.... Lily how paranoid are you!? O_O You realize there are more people in the world that dislike you than InkRose, SegaSister, Eliora (?), ThoughtBubblePony (Brittany), Josh (?), and other people from the mlp fandom right? I mean I can name quite a few people who REALLY dislike you. How are you so sure it was Ink Rose? O_O Like what bubble do you live in?

For the politics one.... Lily please tell me you are joking -.- Totalitarian =  a system of government that is centralized and dictatorial and requires complete subservience to the state

Socialism: depends the country if it can work honestly. It’s really hard to implement in larger countries....

Umm no Lily you are the one providing all of this salt...

Seriously what proof of homophobia? I don’t want people shipping me with a girl but that doesn’t make me homophobic! Hell any of my female OCs with girls. I honestly am not all that into girl x girl. Some of it is really cute Sailor Uranus x Sailor Neptune, Kureha x Ginko, Chiho x Uzume (it’s very pure even with age difference), not official but heavily implied Mimori Togo x Yuna Yuuki. 

Honestly he doesn’t necessarily have to fly out there. Also Lily wouldn’t he need your address for him to mail it to you? Or a business email? Oh wait you don’t have those -.-

Why do you guys post these comments on Lily’s tumblr instead of Josh’s you know so he can see them? Lily blocked him so he can’t go on her tumblr unless he makes another account....

One.... seriously like you have any room to talk with “Reals over Feels” you’re acting like a child Lily....

Really? Because from what I understood Lizzy found out about you because you put her on your “Good Stuff” thing and they you two eventually hooked up. Since when did Josh enter the equation -.-

Ummm anon seriously? And Lily WTF is wrong with you! He is NOT endorsing a freaking pedophile you asshat!

Hideki-Nishi seriously? I seriously can’t tell if you are a fan of both Lily and Josh or what. Also what was the point of your comment? No seriously what was it? Cuz it seems like something you should say to JOSH not LILY. Alaso Lily could we get screenshots? Because you know you have your subscriber count unlisted for crying out loud. You say you lost 2,000 subscribers, how would that be Josh’s fault? Wouldn’t that be your fault for not engaging your viewers or explaining your side of the story appropriately? You can’t blame Josh for you loosing subscribers unless you have proof that he like deleted subs from you o_O

Why should he be embarrassed for finally standing up to the woman who bullied and harassed him and possibly emotionally abused him? 

Also backfiring? Explain....

.... Okay yes he should have gotten someone who knows law to help him. But seriously Lily. We can find archives and archives of your harassment from over the years.  Also what do you have better to do? I know Josh has school but don’t you have a full time job? Oh wait YouTube is your full time job.... if it’s not then what IS your job exactly? -___-

Umm are you saying watching a brain dead puppy pee itself is funny? or sad? because honestly it’s hard to tell with you. Also if you felt any pity for Josh why not just leave him alone instead of continuing this stupid crusade at mudslinging Josh?

Anon did you ever think he just doesn’t know a lawyer? Or rather one that is good enough to help him with cyberstalking/bulllying/harassment who would be willing to do this as a international affair because it is USA vs Canada? Laws differ between countries you know. -.- 

Of recent videos... honestly who would look there? -.- No seriously who would look there if you never use to do it Miss Lily Orchard. I sure as heck wouldn’t think about looking there...

Found it after she wrote:

Wanna send me fanart, undying pledges of worship or ransom notes? Send it here - lilypeetsubmissions@gmail.com

Really I would like to give Lizzy the benefit of the doubt anyhow because she’s obviously being manipulated into believing her darling is innocent. (Wow it’s almost like how Toon manipulated his friends into thinking he was innocent. But Lily is obviously too kind and nice to do that *there is some sarcasm here somewhere*) But seriously Lizzy doesn’t sound kind. She is coming off as condescending . This is what an overly religious person does to make themselves seem faultless. No joke. 

Lily did you ever go to college -.- ? No? Then you’d know it’s a C- and also in order to practice law here in the states you have to pass a state certification exam. Oh wait you’re from Canada! I don’t know how law school works there please tell me the certification standards? -.-

*slow clap* Wow Lily look at you talking about yourself and trying to make it seem like Josh is the one who lives in an Echo Chamber. Where are your criticisms then hmm? You delete them that’s right! So you can never be wrong! Wow it’s almost like you’re the one runinng a smear campaign with the endless amounts of Community posts that are essentially telling your loyal cult followers to “Go spam his comments sections with dislikes and slander” 

Umm anon how is he dragging the victims in? This is his personal statement saying “Lily I’ve have enough of this. I’ve ignored this for too long. YOU NEED TO STOP!” It has nothing to do with the victims. =__=

Okay last one. Seriously Lily? A non-profit organization where people can learn about sexual predators that works with the Centers for Missing and Exploited Children is sketchy.... WTF Well do you know of a better one? No? Umm then can you talk? Also a quick google search like that’s legitimate! That wouldn’t even hold up in class in a college/university as sufficient evidence. Seriously girl who put bleach in your brain

And to this Anon... what message of them still needing Toon? Prerecorded videos, that would be very difficult to either voice over, text to chat, or cut out? Having him out of all their newer projects? having older videos still up because of story and possibly to review his behavior so they can spot manipulative people like Toon? Also besides pedophilia he had a lot of other issues which none of you guys and girls seem to remember right away: sexual harassment, black mailing, emotional manipulation, harassment, etc. don’t forget about all of these too!  

@lily-peet you think Josh’s fans are crazy? Look at your own. They say more bull than anyone I have ever seen. I question their moral intelligence, and I question your emotional intelligence too. 

[teacoffeeandwhatnot]

The Gay Agenda - Chapter 5

 Look at me, actually uploading when I said I would oml! Chapter 5 is here, and its Jren. 

Please keep in mind, sentences written in Italic is what is being said by the panel, or people in the studio. Normal text is what is happening otherwise.

As always, also available on my Ao3!

(if you want me to tag you every time i update, please dont hesitate to message me and I’ll add it in the next chapter)

“Our next contestant is Choi M-“

“Holy shit, is that Minki?!” Jeonghan interrupts Holland, jumping out of his seat to get a better look at the screen in front of them.

“Uhh, yes, do you know him?” Holland questions.

“Yeah, shit, he’s my cousin. I don’t know why I didn’t think of him for this show, he’s like a lover of all things gay. Also, he already works here so it’s perfect.”

“Well then, I guess I can save myself the introduction,” Holland laughs. “Do you happen to know what his type is?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. He’s into like super nerdy guys which is kind of ironic because, even though he works in the freaking comic book store, he could not be less interested in them.”

“Ah, well then it should be easy to find someone that’s his type then, I guess. Let’s see how he gets on.”

He knows he should really be spending his money on better things as a 23-year-old, but Jonghyun can’t help himself, so he finds himself on the bus for his weekly visit to the comic book store. It also has nothing to do with the pretty shop clerk whom he has successfully avoided talking to for weeks now, nope. Nothing at all. He totally doesn’t spend half his time there staring at him, and not the comic books. Definitely not.

Ever since the new guy has started working there, his visits to the store have become significantly more nerve wracking and he finds his hands sweating a worrying amount every time he pushes the door open. He really needs to get his shit together.

He walks straight to the Haikyu section, deliberately not looking towards the counter, where he knows the beautiful boy is. He knows his name is Minki, having glanced at his name tag out of the corner of his eye last time, when he had been busy ringing up another costumer.

Even though he only glanced in his direction for about half a second through the glass door before entering, he is still hyperaware of Minki, slouching over the counter, looking bored out his mind, sucking on a goddamn lollipop. He also belatedly realizes that Minki seems to be the only employee here, which means that, if he wants to buy something, he will inevitably have to talk to him. Which is generally a good thing, forcing him to finally have a conversation, but he’s also scared shitless. He knows he gets all stuttery and awkward when faced with pretty people he may or may not have a small (massive) crush on, so there is probably a high chance he’s going to embarrass himself. For a second he considers just not buying anything and high tailing it out of the store, before he realizes how stupid that is. He gives himself a short mental pep-talk before finally deciding to get his shit together, picks up the book he wants and makes his way towards the counter. Previously he had always waited, sometimes agonisingly long, until Minki was busy or went on break and his co-worker took over, before he went to the counter, as to avoid the situation he was in now.

He placed his book on the counter, finally managed to look up and made direct eye contact with Minki for the first time. He was frozen for a minute, lost in the man’s eyes before he was shaken out of his stupor.

“Only this then?” Minki asked.

“Uh, y-yeah.” Jonghyun mentally cursed at himself for the little stutter and cleared his throat. “Just this one today,” he managed, trying to sound a little more confident and not like his legs were about to give in any second.

“So have you finally decided to stop avoiding me then?” Jonghyun’s head snapped up from where he lowered it again, staring at Minki with a panicked expression, who was smirking at him with a knowing smile.

“What? I was not- I’m not- I didn’t…,” he stuttered, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation.

“Dude, literally every time you’re here you stare holes into the side of my head but you never come up to the counter when I’m here and always wait till Minhyun is at the counter or I’m busy. I feel a little bit offended to be honest, what do you have against me? I don’t bite.”

Minki says all of this with a smirk on his face, so Jonghyun knows he isn’t mad, (and mortifyingly probably knows why Jonghyun was staring) but he can’t help but feel faint.

“I wasn’t staring at you.” Minki cocks his head, giving him a ‘you’ve got to be shitting me’ expression. “I just admire those posters behind the counter.”

“Sure you do, my dude, sure you do.” Jonghyun doesn’t think his face will ever return to its natural colour, destined to stay permanently crimson at this point. He realizes that Minki is almost done ringing up his book and with that his time actually talking to him will be over soon. Scrambling to keep the conversation going, he asks, “Uh, so I’ve been looking for a new series, preferably something similar to Haikyu, so like sports and rivalries, etc. do you have any recommendations?”

Minki shrugs, “No idea, dude, I’ve never read a manga in my life. I can ask my colleague though and let you know?”

Jonghyun belatedly realizes his mouth is hanging open in shock and quickly closes it.

“What do you mean you’ve never read one, you work in a comic book store?”

“Yeah, because my cousin, whether he admits it or not, is a sucker who would do anything for me, and he knows the owner so he got me the job. I’m a broke college student, I take what I can get. ”

“Fucking brat,” Jeonghan mumbles under his breath.

Up until this point, Jonghyun had been convinced that Minki was perfect and most definitely the love of his life, but this could not be overlooked. This was a major character flaw that needed to be corrected immediately.

“Ok, but like that’s unacceptable. I’m sorry, but you have no choice, you have to be educated. I will sacrifice my precious time and be your teacher, out of the goodness of my heart.”

(Minki honestly couldn’t believe that it could’ve gone any better. Whether he knew it or not, the cute customer had done his whole job for him, and he didn’t even need to come up with some bullshit excuse to spend more time with him. He was going to win, for sure.)

“I’ll let you educate me under two conditions.”

“Ok? And those would be?”

“One, we go find a café and have a drink while you tell me all about your little… books.”

Jonghyun made a face. For one at the comment about his ‘little books’ and secondly out of confusion. Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to educate Minki in the comic book store, so he could provide examples?

“Uh sure I guess, I mean here would be better, but if you want. And the second one?”

“You have to tell me your name,” Minki grinned. “So far I’ve only been calling you Onibugi in my head.”

Once again, Jonghyun felt his face heat up. Minki had been calling him a nickname in his head? For how long? Did this mean that he would also think about him? This was lowkey too much information for him to handle all at once.

“O-onibugi? Why?”

“Cuz you kinda look like one, don’t you think?” Minki squished his cheek and Jonghyun was ready to die then and there.

They decided to go to a little ice cream parlour on the second floor of the mall, since Minki said he was craving a milkshake, and who was Jonghyun to deny him. The entire 3 minute walk there, Jonghyun could help but sneak glances at Minki’s side profile. His long hair swished gracefully back and forth as he was walking and Jonghyun really had to fight every nerve in his body to not give into his urge to run his fingers through it and see how soft it really was. The first time Jonghyun had seen Minki, he had thought that he was a girl, quickly proven wrong when Minki had called out to his co-worker in a voice too deep for a girl and called him hyung. Now, Jonghyun had never really thought about his sexuality in depth, so he probably would’ve fallen in love with Minki no matter if he was a girl or a boy, but he was kind of relieved that Minki had been a boy, since in his opinion, girls are even more terrifying to talk to than guys. Or so he had thought. Minki seemed intimidating no matter what, hence the long time it took him to start talking to him.

Arriving at the café, they quickly found a small table for two in the corner and scanned the menu.

“You want to share a milkshake?” Minki asked.

Considering Jonghyun could barely get through a conversation with him, he doubted he would survive sharing a drink with the other.

“Uh, no, I’m good, you get your own drink. I’ll pay.”

“Aww Jonghyunnie, that’s not what I meant, but thanks! So generous.”

The obvious flirting that Minki sends his way completely flying over his head, Jonghyun launches into a speech about Haikyu as soon as they get their drinks.

“Ok so, I don’t know where to begin. Let me just tell you the plot first, I think that’ll help you understand how awesome it is. So basically it’s about this guy who joins the volleyball team of this formerly prestigious high school and he’s like obsessed with this other player who is like the star player of this team and was basically like a jump god for them, so he trains all the time to try and become like him. He ends up…” Jonghyun trails off when he looks up and realizes that Minki doesn’t seem to be listening to him at all, but is rather just staring at his mouth. Self-consciously he rubs over his lips, thinking he might’ve gotten some of his milkshake somewhere on his face.

“Minki, are you even listening to me?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, sure I am.”

Jonghyun isn’t completely convinced, but continues trying to convince Minki that comics are the best thing in this world and that he is missing out.

“Ok well he ends up clashing really hard with this setter – how much do you know about volleyball by the way? Actually it doesn’t really matter – so anyways he clashes with this setter is also like a really good player so everyone calls him king, but he’s more like a tyrant, I guess? And yeah –“ Suddenly, there are lips on his. He was so engrossed in his speech he hadn’t realized that Minki had gotten closer, lifted his chin up and just planted one on him.

It was over way too quickly, Jonghyun hadn’t even closed his eyes and he just ended up stupidly blinking at Minki when he pulled back, with his mouth slightly open.

All of a sudden, all the pieces in his head seem to align. Holy shit, Minki had been flirting with him this entire time.

“Holy shit, you were flirting with me this entire time.”

Minki let out a loud laugh. “I’m glad you finally caught on, I thought I couldn’t make it more obvious. I mean I flat out told you I have zero interest in comics and yet I still listened to you ramble for like an hour. I felt like I had to help you along a little bit.”

Jonghyun scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah sorry, I get really into it when I talk about comics… also like… you’re beautiful? I thought you’d never go for someone like me. I mean, you could have anyone.”

“Not go for someone like you? What, you mean a cute, nerdy, hot guy with a deep voice? How the fuck could I not go for you?”

Before he could blush and stutter some more, Minki leaned in again and this time Jonghyun was prepared. He managed to close his eyes, kiss back and even cup the side of Minki’s face. He couldn’t believe that this was happened and inwardly cursed at himself for not talking to the cute clerk earlier.

Later, when they’re walking back to the comic book store hand in hand, Minki’s phone goes off.

“Oh hey Jeonghan, how are you?” “My cousin,” he mouths in Jonghyun’s direction.

“Sooooooooooooooo?”

“So, what, Jeonghan?”

“Soooo does it live up to all your day dreams and on a scale of 1-10, how good of a kisser is Jonghyun?”

“WAIT, WHAT? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?”

Pt. 4

[goodnightkisseu-main]

Wanna One In San Jose Fan Account~

So, now that it's after the concert, and I'm feeling all sorts of things, here's my highlights/what I remember from the concert! I’ll split this itno parts. So I put the stuff about the boys and the concert first (since that’s probably what ppl are interested in, lol), and then things from the rest of my day like lining up, meeting mutuals, getting freebies, giving out freebies, etc. ^^

Also note: I’m leaving this concert even more confused as to the order of Ong, Daniel, and Jisung in my biases, like it’s all a mess now OTL

Read more under the cut cuz this is long!

Concert Highlights

So security was kind of strict about video. Like I know a lot are floating around, but they stopped ppl from taking pics and filming a lot. I was unlucky because I was maybe like one row from the front, but the security guard stood right in front of me and always looking in my direction so I couldn’t pull out my phone... or I was too chicken, so I wasn’t able to take any video or pics. ;; Sorry ;;

I’m also... short, so it was hard to see at times unfortunately ;;

I was situated near the bridge tothe extended stage on the left side. I had started off with maybe 4 rows of ppl in front of me, but eventually found myself only one row from the bridge to the extended stage section o.o I got to see the boys walking by a lot. 

Speaking of, the boys spent more time on the extended stage than I thought. Jihoon, Daehwi, Jinyoung, and sometimes Woojin, Jaehwan and Guanlin spent a lot of time on the left side. I believe Minhyun was too but on the actual extended stage (?)

Additionally, Jisung usually walked by, but never stood on the left side. However, he would always wave and look at those as he waved and ah... Jisung in person is just... I can’t... he just... he’s got this really kind aura and I’m a mess >< He looked in my direction a couple times, maybe we made eye contact, I’m not sure, but his visuals in person are no joke. All of them are like this, in my opinion though ><

On the topic of Jisung... you guys... DJ Jisung... it was not something I knew I needed, and after this concert, I can’t let it go ;; Jisung looked like he was having soooo much fun DJing and not only that, he looked good doing it. I have lots to say about DJ Jisung, but I’ll keep it brief here. 

I guess since I started with Jisung, I’ll just do fan accounts for each of the boys from here. 

Sungwoon I didn’t get to see often, but my goodness, they were doing aegyo and they had him do puppy aegyo and it was so cute! ;A; 

Also Sungwoon’s vocals are no joke. For  영원+1, his voice was oh so good live >< 

I didn’t get to see Minhyun a lot ;; Most of what I heard from him was from Kim (thank goodness he saw her!) But from what I did see when I was looking around during ments and during ‘갖고 싶’ was that he was looking around at everyone, like looking at all of the fans. He really scanned the audience, it was kind of amazing ><

Also, unsurprising of Minhyun, those visuals in real life are stunning o.o Oh and dat dance solo.... my goodness x.x

Ong ;; So I didn’t get to see Ong often because he spent most of his time on the right side of the stage or, for ments, in the front and to the left, which I was not near. So I don’t have much to say unfortunately. ;; 

But what I can say, is that he really was interacting with all of the fans ;; if they made a heart towards him, he would make it back. If he saw a sign, he would wave. He’s really the sweetest.

Also Ong is super handsome. Like super, super handsome. Idk how he’s expecting me to function from now on, cuz I won’t be able to OTL 

He’s also a bit of a mess in all the right ways though. Like when he forgot to run back to the extended stage for the rest of ‘ 나야나’. He’s adorable, a man after my heart ><

Jaehwannnnnn! Those vocals are AMAZING! They had him singing the beginning of ‘너의 이름을’ without a backtrack and wow, just wow. I can still hear it, it’s so good ><

He was on the left side briefly and was super adorable ;;

So. Daniel. Idk if I can write this without sounding like a mess >< Unfortunately for me, he was also on the right side a lot. So I didn’t get to see him much until the end.

The white confetti at end was INTENSE! I legit thought I almost swallowed some x.x But that was when Daniel walked by and my heart probably stopped momentarily. He was making hearts and what not in my area and it was all so much that I don’t even remember if I made a heart back (I think I did) He just... he’s just...wow o///o

Also somehow, during most of the concert, Daniel’s position was in such a way where, from my vantage point, everyone’s heads framed him so that I could see him clearly ;A; He was probably the one I saw performing the most cuz he was the only one I could see. Daniel’s stage presence is no joke.

I could talk about Daniel’s visuals but I would be a puddle by the end so I won’t ><” I will say that he has a very cool and chill presence to himself. I was a little surprised, but in a good way ^^

Jihoon is a soft child, can I adopt him?! He’s trying so hard to be manlier but it’s making him cuter and it’s so adorable. You know what else is adorable? The bullet below.

I believe that it was during "Always" Jihoon was right in front of me, and I decided to do "내 마음 속에 저장". He was looking directly at me, saw it, and stopped for a second. Maybe he was thinking if he should do it back after promising he wouldn't anymore? Whatever it was his expression was cute xD After a second he finally waved at me >< It was adorable af, like my heart couldn't handle >///< (I AM BOLDING THIS BECAUSE IT WAS SO FREAKING CUTE)

Woojin was also super sweet ;A; He was waving to a lot of fans on the left side and he really looked like he was having fun ;;

Oh and the 2Park dance solo was sooooo good. All of the dance solos were good tbh >< I just can’t comment much cuz it was hard to see ;;

Baejinnnnn ;A; omg... I call him my son a lot, and tbh, after seeing him in person, I feel even prouder of him ;; he spent a lot of time on my side of the stage and was in front of me a couple of times. He was waving to everyone and I think we made eye contact a couple of times. Jinyoung... he really has a very gentle look in his eyes and a gentle aura overall ;; the sweestest boy. ;;

This being said, he was also smack dab right in front of me during the ‘보여’ and... okay Jinyoung, okay O.O He did really well >< Idk what else to say. He’s like my kid ><

Daehwi was so sweet ;A; he spoke in English I believe for the entirety of the concert. >< he also would crouch down and interact with fans ;; Such a sweet boy ;;

Guanlin!!! you guys... that blond hair actually looks really good. I’m always concerned with blond hair, but he looked great! And his dance solo was also nice! ;; He also spoke in english a lot ^^

Equally Important Highlights 

I arrived at about 11am and it wasn't too bad for most lines. The longest line by that time was VIP. I then proceeded to hand out my freebie chibis (thank you everyone that picked one up!) which ended up drawing a larger crowd than expected (sorry staff of the event center! ;;) It was a lot of fun meeting everyone! ya'll were so adorable and hearing ppl call my art cute is... idk how to handle it. I wasn't used to those types of compliments ;;

Also I was so excited to hear people asking for all of the members equally. Like oftentimes it feels like certain members have more fans, but hearing ppl ask for all of them, I... I feel so happy ;;

Thanks to Kim for taking a pic of these for me, cuz your girl goofed and didn’t do it before the concert and they were gone in like 30 mins ><”

Speaking of... I met Kim @nothingwithoutwannaone​, and she is the sweetest. We headed out for some lunch the following day cuz why not XD I had so much fun chilling with you ;; Let me know if you’re ever in the LA area!

I also got to meet @hopesdreamsandalatte and @maybe-spring and they were sooooo cute ;A; I felt like a big sister (which, most probably don’t know, but I’m the baby of my family) so I really wanted to take care of them. They were so full of energy tho, and by that time I was kind of running low on it from being outside for almost 8 hours at that point. So thank you, the both of you for giving me energy again. ^^

I ended up getting a handful of freebies, some of which I ended up in line for accidentally. Like  was standing there and all of a sudden a line would form. My freebie luck was strangely good.. mostly for Ong freebies XD I also got to meet the site masters for WeddingDate and PickOngUp. They were so nice ;;  I also bought a banner from HereToday ;; I unfortunately did not get anything for Daniel because they all went pretty fast ><

Everything on the left was freebies. The items on the right are the slogan pack I bought ^^

So in the end, I had a ton of fun and met a ton of cool people. Wanna One is the group that’s gotten me back into KPop, so thank you to everyone for making the concert a lot of fun! ^^