#cuz its really starting to feel like the latter and i cannot stress enough how much i do not care

[calypsolemon]

You know what kind of annoying about su crits? They make claims saying the crew did some tracing and stuff like that fight scene between pearl and holo pearl from that one anime even though I think other shows have done something like this before.

you know what is beginning to annoy me is getting asks about random shit SU crits have said, tbqh

[crowtongued]

3 and 56

{--I hope I’m answering this right because I didn’t reblog any memes that had a #56, I apologize if I got this wrong Nonnie!--}

#3 - As a mun, what are three of your biggest flaws when it comes to being someone’s RP partner?

Hm... for two of them, I’d have to say that its simultaneously trying to be too nice/passive about respecting boundaries because I don’t want to even accidentally make people feel bad or pressured that a lot of the time I fail to reach out unless its someone I know really well, but also being low-key but where’s my interaction too? when it feels like I’ve kinda fallen onto the back burner and been forgotten. The latter of which you can thank my NegPD for, the former being from hard work keeping myself in check, but there can come a point where the two things come to an impasse and the NegPD boils over.

Not gonna pretend otherwise, there was a point I got pretty bad about vagueing and I ended up quitting tumblr RP altogether for a while to work on myself cuz I wasn’t liking what tumblr was making me, but to be fair, the fandom circle I was in was also pretty bad about it, they just pretended to be against it. Lot of “its bad except when I do it” attitudes, especially the popular people, and you got rewarded for it as long as you were popular enough. There’s a lot to unpack there. Its still a struggle since personality disorders don’t just go away but I’ve gotten a lot better.

Even when I get to that point though, I hold back a ton, - whatever symptoms you see outwardly are like the teeny tiny tip of the iceberg for how it actually feels - and its overall just... not a comfortable place to be. Its torture and unfortunately its one of those things that’s hard to communicate to people without turning them off, because it requires work on both sides to fix and most peoples’ reaction is that’s “too high maintenance”, especially when the other person isn’t particularly honest and you know they’re not honest. I know I’m shooting myself in the foot in some peoples’ eyes admitting that openly, but it is what it is.

The silver lining is I’ve had some friendships for years with 0 problems or hurt feelings because fair and honest communication has always been the cornerstone of those friendships, so its not like every relationship is doomed to be stress and disaster, as long as the mutual respect is there on both sides. Its just when people pull the lying, avoidance, ghosting, etc that it starts to get not-so-pretty, since NegPD is formed by being stuck in “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t” abuse where you’re screwed no matter what you try to do, which is the exact situation those behaviors create, which already sucks for most people but NegPD just cannot deal and is dysfunctionally obsessed with fairness.

A third flaw... I guess its hard for me to switch gears when it comes to swapping between different versions of canon muses. I don’t like switching partners around when I find one I really click with OOC and IC, and then maybe they stop RPing or switch muses/blogs or whatever that that interaction of characters stops, I get invested and there is no replacement even between similar/”same” muses from canon sources. They’re all unique, so even if you try to get back what you had with that “other” partner, its not the same. Which isn’t a problem per se, its just a little bit disappointing when you had an awesome interaction and now its just gone and you’re kinda left to sit with all the ideas and inspirations and interactions that were unique between you and that particular mun’s muse. I still have some interactions I really miss but the muns aren’t even on tumblr anymore that I just occasionally poke at, but there’s nothing I can do about. I don’t care for having a lot of interactions, I just want a few good meaningful ones that last a long time, and when those fall through its hard for me to want to seek out an alternate interaction for the same muse with a different mun. It also feels kinda disloyal to me I guess, even if that person just no longer has any of that muse left.

#5 - Have you ever RP’d with someone simply because of their character’s faceclaim, even if you did not like their character’s personality?

Not that I can think of, no. Personality is a huge motivating factor in whether or not I’ll interact with someone. I might originally follow someone just to kinda see what they’re about and watch their other interactions and get a feel for them, but if I hate their personality or have a hard time connecting with them as a character, its not gonna last. I think writing with characters you hate just because they look a certain way is silly and vain honestly. Why do that to yourself?

I think its important to note though that you can have a character with a nasty personality and you still like them, so I’m not talking about “mean” / “bad” characters either. But if there’s no enjoyment in the actual behavior/engagement areas, what’s the point of interacting at all?

#6 - Is there a character that the rest of your fandom adores that you just don’t like/are indifferent to? Who is the character and why?

Okay so preface, I’m talking about CANON here and not necessarily how people RP this character. But I’ve been on this rant train a little bit lately since I got into BSD and got into later episodes/season 3, so I’m just gonna have to say, Osamu Dazai. Again, Canon only, no shade for the RPers who like to write him or their interpretations. I’m always interested in RP renditions and what other writers (who aren’t Kafka Asagiri) have to bring to the scene.

I did like him at first, don’t get me wrong, but the more the series goes on, the more obnoxious he feels as a character. He doesn’t really have any true flaws in the series. Sure he has the whole “suicide” obsession thing, but its played off as a silly quirk (which is sort of yikes), but that I could live with if not for the fact that he’s made to be all-knowing, all the time. He has plot omniscience, to a point that’s purely annoying. In RP terms, he’d be the metagame character that makes other RPers not want to interact (and oh boy, are there strong opinions about metagaming). Dazai always has the answers. He always has the master plan. He always knows how everything will end up.

Even when he ends up fucked up, he just pulls an “Aha! I knew all along this exact thing would happen! And I prepared for it and had everyone dancing on my puppet strings the whole time! Get shot by a sniper? No problem, I knew it would happen! Stabbed with poison? Chuuya will punch me and wake me up! Trying to catch that one bad guy? I know the exact cafe he’ll be sitting at while everyone else is scrambling around the dark looking for him cluelessly!” etc etc.

Its obnoxious after a while. Even if you have a “chessmaster” type character, they need meaningful flaws and times they don’t know everything (Code Geass does a great job with this and Lelouch - even when his plans are brilliant, there are blind spots and unpredictabilities that catch him off-guard), Dazai basically has none.

The only time we really see otherwise is in his backstory stuff with Sakunosuke Oda, and that doesn’t exactly count since that’s just an “origin story” plot, which has to break the rules the OG writer set up a bit to get Dazai from Point A (Port Mafia) to Point B (Armed Detective Agency), and Sakunosuke was introduced as a redshirt to the series from the start (which seems to be the only time the series actually kills anyone lol see why: I’m very doubtful Chuuya isn’t still alive in the  manga).

Honestly, if all they did was drop the whole “Dazai always knows how everything will go and how every person will behave” trope, he would be a much better character, because that’s a huge flaw of the writing itself, not just his character. He’s a shameless power fantasy character, but not in a good way. Even geniuses have weak spots and blindspots, refusing to give those to a character just makes them entirely unrelateable (yes I know his ability is called “No Longer Human” but he’s not a god) and less interesting.

He just breaks suspension of disbelief, and the deeper into the series you get, the more obvious it becomes.

Its what makes Chuuya far more interesting in contrast. Chuuya is undeniably a force to be reckoned with, but he has flaws. Lots of them! And he’s a better character for it.

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 8: “jay, I don't know who to trust anymore“ - Zest

Brianna

Okay Marie got voted out cuz Felix idoled Joey and that shit and I’m really upset about it. I think I just. Need to remain calm tho. I don’t need to freak out just cuz something didn’t go my way. I believe I’m still in a relatively good spot in the game and can still do some damage if I play my cards right. The only question is to who. The big targets now are Felix and Apollo in my opinion. How to get them out and remain safe is the question. Guess I have some thinking to do. Cya : ) 

Felix

I played an idol correctly for once in my life. This is actually the biggest gag of the century because it saved my ally and now I have at least some numbers left. Flint, Joey, and Lysandre are all numbers for me. I also think Boris is one too, but all Sumi people just rub me the wrong way. Next round will be interesting because we need to get rid of someone from Sumi because they are gaining traction quickly. Though, I doubt that people will remain loyal to that tribe alliance. I mainly want to target either Zest/Brianna/Apollo. They have got to go. This is an independent game, but I'm stuck in a position where I have to work with my old tribe. Yet, I can still gain the trust of Boris and Lysandre. I don't think I can EVER work with Apollo/Brianna/Zest. The latter two because I just don't talk to them enough. The former because I literally cannot trust his word. These three are the biggest threats to my game and they need to go. My order would now be Zest > Brianna > Apollo. My FTC could be with either Lys/Joey or Flint/Joey. All I know is that Joey is coming with me to FTC because he is the goat to end all goats.

Flint

WOW that tribal was wild. I did not expect Felix to have that many advantages. And that transparency one?! That really exposed me for flipping on our Tuai alliance. Just when I thought I couldn’t be any lower, here I am sitting in the grave I dug myself. Hope Marie keeps a slice of pizza warm for me cuz I’ll be joining her soon. 

Apollo

Ya bitch just found a motha fucking idol!!!! I’m fucking screaming!!!

zest

jay, I don't know who to trust anymore. I am a ball of stress. I want to stay in this competition. I need to figure something out. 

Felix

It is interesting to me that Lysandre chose Boris over me in the last round for immunity. To me that means he did not want me to ever win immunity in the first place. Thus, I must be a target for this tribal council which does not surprise me at all. I did, after all, just make a huge move and shook up the game so it comes as no surprise that people would begin targeting me. I do not believe that I can convince Zest or Brianna to vote my way, so there's no point in talking to them about the vote. I want to go for Apollo in this vote, but I do not know if I would have the numbers to do so. Honestly Flint can go now if he is so inclined, but we need to do something about this Brianna/Zest/Apollo alliance that I know is around. Apollo probably wants to take them to the end rather than Boris since they are major goats in this game. Maybe we should strip him of his numbers first before actually striking at him. Plus, Zest or Brianna would be a stronger pill to swallow for people to vote out. All in all, my plan remains the same though I doubt that without this immunity that I will make it much farther in this game. 

Lysandre

So the challenge is a chain reaction and I'm trying to set my list up to who I want to win vs who I Dont want to win. I mixed the Boris in at the top with the Taui folk.

Lysandre

My target for this round is Briana or Zest! And honestly even Apollo but idk about him yet. Lets see how the list challenge goes first. LysandreSo I put Felix as number two on tbe list so I cab show my trust to him and I think it worked out. ONG I FREAKING WON THIS CHALLENGE. AT final 8!!! I did that ugh my social game I love that whore. And the JURY voted for me to win it since there was a tie!! I am beyond ecstatic 

Lysandre

So winning immunity is both a blessing and a curse. It shows that I'm a little bit of a social threat as well as challenge threat and they see that now in how I was positioned on the lists (by thinking really hard about it lol). I also got the Jury's vote which says that between me and Boris they support me more which gives me more fuel to take Boris to the end of the game with me along with say Joey. I also came to the conclusion that it was Apollo and Zest who put me somewhere in the middle of their list or presumably under eachother and Boris which leads me to believe they are Sumi strong. I believe this is enough for me to try and target Zest this round. She's not playing the game for herself and she's in no way loyal to me. Apollo, however, seems to want to take me further than a few people so he can stay for now. All I have to do is cut out his ride or die Zest and I possibly take that spot. My eyes are still on Apollo since he has some sort of advantage and my eyes are on Flint who has this alliance with Brianna.. 

Lysandre

On second thought I may have to get Apollo out this round. He still has an advantage and is more of a threat than Zest. However, if he goes then Zest has to be next. My only concern is Boris and where his head is at the moment. I think it would be easier to get him to do Zest versus Apollo but if we DO vote out Zest Apollo is gonna be pissed and may turn on me. 

Flint

Well I botched another immunity challenge. That’s 3 for 3 now. No one has talked with me, and after my failed flip I’m getting paranoid I’m being voted out tonight. 

Apollo

Is Lysandre a politician? Do they think they’re Yul Kwon? Hell no! Because you’re about to get clockt in two rounds sweaty! I want them out so bad, I want them out now but I can’t.

Apollo

Idk if I’ve confessed since Marie Went  home but omg I can’t really complain about it, I’m not that mad! Lol. It’s upsetting the three amigos are still in but Marie was a bigger detriment to have in the game than Joey could ever be. I’m starting to consider working with Felix over Lysandre since I found out lysandre is in 5 alliances. And that’s more than I’m even in. BorisLysandre is amazing and i would die for them

Boris

So much is going ON. Marie was idoled out but i don't care bc I kinda wanted her gone anyway. Ive been at pride all weekend so I havent been able to be around much. Apollo is controlling as always. Lysandre and I are still a power couple. Felix is an icon. I forget flint and Joey exist sometimes. Brianna is ok. Zest is ok Jay had to threaten me to get me to confess so sorry this sucks lmao. Ill do better confessionals once pride weekend is over! LysandreSo it looks like the votes for Zest are coming in quite nicely and its going to be her. Apparently Apollo is sketched out by me and thinks I'm in the best position in the game... Ok??? You're right and all but ok??? You're too loud lmao

Felix

Alright so I hope the vote is Zest. Everyone is telling me that it is Zest or Flint. Apollo wants Flint gone. Everyone else wants Zest gone. It's a wild time. I'm just happy that neither my name nor Joey's name is being said during this round. It must mean we did something right this round to not be targeted as hard as we should be. Either way, I'll be here for another round unless I get idoled out, but that is unlikely to happen. Lys told me some interesting things today. Flint is heavily working with Brianna as a sort of duo that wants to make it to the end. This is interesting considering that Flint told me that he is the most distant with Brianna. I think Flint was lying to me, and he was just testing me with who I want out. If I had said the wrong name, then he would have begun targeting me this round. Luckily I already knew his relations with Brianna so I didn't say the wrong name. Though, that duo should be something to watch out for, though they are no present threat to me. This means that allegiances, the real ones, exist like this: Lys and I Joey and I Apollo and Zest Flint and Brianna Boris is the only one who I feel is an actual free agent in this game which puts him in a dangerous position for me. If he does decide to betray me, he can easily rally the votes against me. Though I need him at the present moment, so I cannot start targeting him. It is interesting to note however, I'm not going to stalk the idol hunt. It's too many outcomes for no rewards. Plus, I've already used three of them so I shouldn't have more. Good luck to me I guess.

Felix

Apollo is trying to vote out Flint which is still weird. He really seems to want to split the vote though which is super strange. I don't like how he is playing and I am just going to vote out Zest to keep myself safe this tribal council. Plus, she was totally @'ing me in the chat with her tribal answer which is fair enough, but that means the sooner she leaves the sooner I'll be safe.

Boris

Apollo thinks I'm still loyal to the f3 alliance of us and Zest but I personally like Felix and Lysandre more so uh oops. Felix and Lys want Zest out because shes simply just a loyal number to Apollo without any other game influence. And HONESTLY I agree so im voting Zest, but this is kinda cementing it to Apollo that im more loyal to others than him, so uh yeah Im scared !!

Flint

Tonight’s vote is a gesture to gain favor and trust back from Felix and Joey. I hate to vote for Zest but I need to prove my loyalty. But I think Felix has this game in the bag if he makes it to the end, which a lot of people are starting to realize. So it’s tough to balance a big move and lose Felix’s trust again or be considered a player that only rides Felix’s coattails and doesn’t play strategically. 

Felix

Apollo is going on and on about how Lys is secretly working the middle and that he's manipulating everyone. Let me be clear. It's obvious to me that this is what Lys is doing. I mean what else is he supposed to do? He has no Mea tribe members so he has to go and appease everyone on this tribe for a right to be in the game. Then there's Joey who believes Lys and Apollo are working together to take us both down which I don't believe. What I do believe is that Lys is putting his trust into me and is loyal to me. He's playing a fantastic game as of the moment, but I cannot get him out because he's a number for me. I need those numbers to take down Apollo. And then Boris. I just hope Lys does end up keeping me around because I'm placing a lot of trust in him.

Lysandre

So apparently there is a last minute scramble to trash my name on Apollos behalf. He revealed that I was in 5 alliances and is saying I'm a big ole threat since I was at the top of almost everyone's lists. I mean he's right but guess what baby boy I'm immune and your partner Zest soap is not. Lets see if you keep this same energy next round.

Brianna

Um so. I wake up from my 2 hour nap at 8:50 and now there’s a voting extension. Apollo told me he doesn’t know if people are voting Felix or flint. Flint tells me everyone’s name except Apollo’s was thrown out. And lysandre tells me they’re voting zest....I kind of...don’t know what’s going on....I wish Marie was here. She could’ve told me. So guess I’m voting? I don’t know. Felix? Might change in the next fifteen minutes 

joey g

So this round has been bonkers. I reached out to Lys and Felix because I needed to secure a trust going forward, but I’ve also reached out more to the Sumis as well. I really didnt want to vote zest, but felix is sorta running the show and I think that’s what Lyse wanted. Apparently its between Flint and Zest, but I cant say I feel comfortable at all

Brianna

Lysandre just told me apollo is targeting me...oop...

Brianna

Guess I’m trying to get zest out now! Lol 

Flint

I’ve heard that Tuai is using my name as a decoy which makes me really paranoid for tonight’s vote. I wish I had some security but that idol is so hard to find