#cuz I married a catholic but they’re more lenient than my old church

[aurlworthfightingfor]

So, I want to talk about my weird experience with Harry Potter. Why it’s specifically weird for me to think about the franchise these days.

I’ll start out with JK Rowling is transphobic trash. Get that out of the way.

Ever since these damn books came out, I’ve never been allowed to really experience these books in my own way. Not entirely. Yes, they shaped my teens, but not in the way I think a lot of people see it.

My grandma got me the books against my will for Christmas. I had zero interest in them. My other grandparents were visiting that summer (the summer between 8th and 9th grade) and my stepmom, who wanted to read the books herself? Got mad that I still hadn’t read them. She said she couldn’t read them until I did because they were mine. So I was grounded until I read them.

Again. My other grandparents were visiting from out of state. I was grounded until I read these books. There were 3 of them at the time. I read them as fast as I could. I think it took me like 3 days. I concentrated so hard despite my ADHD that I made myself sick from lack of eating. Cuz I wanted to see my grandparents. Thankfully the books held my interest or it would have been pure torture.

That’s one direction I was pulled into.

That fall, I, who had no friends, was invited to go to a school mate’s church. I had been going for a month or so when they told me Harry Potter is evil. I had to get rid of the books.

I asked my stepmom if I could get rid of the books church didn’t like. When she asked what books, I said “Harry Potter.” She flipped the fuck out. Said if I got rid of them I wouldn’t be allowed to go to church ever again. I had to compromise and put my books in a box under my bed and just not touch them if I really didn’t want to read them.

That’s another direction I was pulled in regards to Harry Potter.

So I have these books in my room making me feel guilty at church. The movie comes out. I have to go see it with the family. The entire time, I’m praying god won’t send me to hell cuz I still got the church in my ear telling me how bad Harry Potter is. My parents get the movie when it’s on idk if it was dvd yet or still vhs honestly by that time, but I remember sitting in the living room to “rewatch” it and just staring out the window bc I can’t enjoy it. Thanks god.

I spent years with her vs the church in my head. Both were wrong. But ultimately the church kicked me out when I turned 18, and I lived with her so it was easy to enjoy it. Besides; i was a huge alan rickman fan so, hell yeah Snape.

So this franchise was shoved down my throat and simultaneously vilified during some of my most life altering years of my life.

I don’t remember what my favorite color was BEFORE Harry Potter. But I can tell you now, it’s green. But if you look at everything I do, i instinctively gravitate towards blues. Blue car. Blue bike. Blue hair (ok that changes often), blue WEDDING DRESS, but if you ask me I always say green. For slytherin. But is green my favorite color? I don’t know. Most people around me assumes it’s blue.

If I had never been forced to read Harry Potter, would I have cared about it? Turned it into part of my personality? Honestly I doubt it. I mean I might have watched the movies eventually, but I wouldn’t have gotten so attached. Cuz it wouldn’t have mattered.

If I hadn’t I’d the church trying to pry it away from me would i feel the way do now? Probably not. It’d just be another book series. I might not have had my stepmom freak out and force it harder down my throat. Idk.

Both these scenarios were WRONG and extreme. And frustrating to think about now. And because JK is trash, with harmful world views, I’m being told once again how to feel about the books and world this garbage queen wrote.

And it wouldn’t be so hard to let go a book series if it wasn’t put on such weird pedestals in my life to begin with. It’s just a book series. It’s not a fucking life style. The story itself not a moral right or wrong. (The author is, don’t give her money fuck her) but at the end of the day the books themselves are dime a dozen at thrift shops and shit.

Also if you have kids and they don’t want to read a book, don’t force it. Holy hell.