#cuz I get hand pain and sometimes have to take weeks-long writing breaks

[artemistorm]

Through what medium do you primarily write? (Pencil, computer, voice to type, old timer typewriter, what?)

I type on my laptop in microsoft word. I used to write with pens and notebooks or booklets of printer paper folded in half and stapled when I was a kid (I wasn't allowed to have my own phone or laptop until I turned 18). I do occasionally write on paper if I have an idea when I'm traveling or if I'm doing a description study.

A description study is when you sit quiet and alone in a place and descriptively write down on the paper everything that you can see, hear, smell, feel, and notice about the place you are at. It's very handy if you travel to a different biome than where you normally live, like a desert or the prairie. You can save the description and use it later in a story when the characters are in a desert. (and then people ooh and ahh over your on-point setting descriptions as secretly cackle with glee)

[59writes]

SEVENTEEN- REACTION: THEIR S/O GETS INJURED (PART 2)

(PART ONE)

part two of @honeyylin ‘s request!!! sorry it took so long honey ㅠㅠ

also check out honey’s acc!!! they’ve recently started writing fic so give em a visit!! <3

today’s photo theme is green green green green green green green green green green

(I didn’t proofread this I will when it’s not 5 am lol)

tw: food, injury

SEOKMIN

• *insert terrified screaming*

• yikes. this man. this poor fellow.

• he’s so worried about you!!!

• like. you’re fine. it’s not a big deal you just won’t be able to walk without crutches for a while

• but this man PHYSICALLY refuses to go to work

• Jihoon even comes to your apartment to beat Seokmin’s ass gently request he come to work cuz they kind of need him

• but no, because “y/n needs me more!!”

• please you’re fine. you can walk and you work from home already. you’ll live. You’ve been injured before.

• this goes in one ear and out the other!

• he will stay home and baby you and peek in your room every ten minutes like “hey are you ok???? do you need anything???”

• it’s kind of endearing

• the calls you keep getting from Seungcheol and Jihoon are not though because SOMEONE keeps forgetting to “call in sick” to work!!

• it’s just part of the whole shebang. he calms down eventually and gets over the anxiety of you getting even more hurt or struggling and goes back to the others

• but you bet your ass when he comes home at night you’re not going anywhere and he’s gonna baby you until he deems you all better

• also he definitely just likes babying you because he doesn’t declare you better until a week after the doctor does, “just to be safe!!!”

• he loves you very much and if anything we’re to happen to the love of his life he’d like. Evaporate on the spot

• 10/10 man right here

MINGYU

• ok so we know how clumsy this man is

• he technically knows how to take care of injuries

• also the injury was sort of maybe his fault ):

• he tripped over a damn rock and made you stumble too, falling and scraping up your leg

• and this poor man is apologizing faster than he raps

• you’re not badly hurt, and when the pain wears off you’re laughing

• and Mingyu’s all pouty lol

• and though you assure him that you’re ok and everyone trips up sometimes, he just wants to make it up to you

• he is also one of the other mfs who would make soup. him and Josh r gonna open a soup kitchen s2g

• but he’s also super cheesy and you wake up from a nap and see that Mingyu’s gone out and gotten flowers and made some nice food and made a little mini date in ur apartment

• and he just feels so bad !!!! please help this man

• once you joke that maybe you should get injured more often so you guys have more dates like this he finally really calms down

• but like I said, he’d know how to treat any injury

• maybe not well, and I’m sure this man’s instinctive response is “I will put a bandaid on it and move on with my life” but how focused he is when he is just wiping off dirt from your arm or leg or whatever and making you sit still while he gauzes it up is just really sweet he cares so much

MINGHAO

• this man does not know anything.

• I mean don’t get me wrong he’s incredibly smart and emotionally intelligent but also. there’s nothing in this man’s brain except for dastardly ideas

• and you nearly breaking your arm is not exactly a dastardly idea

• so he kinda just shuts down

• he wants to help !!! So bad !!!! but he can’t do anything !!!

• like he’s genuinely such a kind dude and always willing to help even if he teases about it and just always there

• and this is the one thing he can’t help with!!!

• so frustrated ):

• so he spends his time with you by lurking with a pout, ready for any request you had

• he definitely looks like a lost puppy ㅠㅠ

• maybe you act a little more helpless than usual so he can feel better about himself. just maybe

• seeing him brighten when you ask him to get the pasta from the top shelf or help with the laundry is completely worth getting hurt for!!

• eventually he cheers up and goes back to his normal and teasing ways

• and once you heal up he’s so glad he can hug you super tight again (:<

SEUNGKWAN

• Ah, Seungkwan.

• be prepared for lots of passive-aggressive scolding

• I mean when it first happens you can see the panic in this poor man’s eyes

• ok well technically you texted him about it but his reply was violently misspelled and he showed up at your house within 15 minutes

• tbh you should be scolding him because he definitely was speeding to get home that fast

• but he was scolding you!!!

• like wtf you’re already feeling shitty and then Seungkwan comes over and is acting like your mom

• but this man is emotionally mature!!!

• he notices how frustrated and snippy your replies get and calms down, hugging you tightly where you sit on the bathroom counter as he cleans you up

• complains about getting blood on his shirt tho the bastard

• but he definitely hangs out with you for the rest of the day and you catch up and eat ice cream while you lie around on the floor and it’s just. aju nice. (lol)

• he does his best to keep your mind off of any pain or struggling, and we all know this man is a master of distraction so it goes very well

• he’s a very home-y person and you always feel safe with him (:

VERNON

• his literal response is “well that’s not good”

• you fuckin call him like “hey sol I’m in urgent care kinda like. broke my arm” and he’s just like “Yeah that’s a problem”

• thank you Hansol “Sherlock” Chwe

• he is just. out of his element please this man will just stare at your cast or whatever with wide eyes like “yo you broke your arm” yes Vernon

• he’s kinda just fascinated ngl

• he lets you tell your story with wide eyes, beaming proudly when you said you didn’t cry

• he’s like “yeah that’s my partner (:< so cool and badass”

• he’s just very silly about it and doesn’t treat you any differently

• which is nice because you kinda hate people bringing attention to it cuz it’s annoying as shit already ):<

• and he’s already so helpful and willing to do chores or whatever so you don’t have to worry about carrying things or washing dishes or whatever cuz Vernon’s got it!!!

• plus it’s adorable how literally every night he’s just like “it’s so cool how you have a cast” like it’s the dumbest thing ever but he finds it so entertaining. like not even the fact you got hurt just like “holy shit like. it’s cement they basically cement your arm in place you have cement on your arm y/n you could knock someone out with that”

• he’s a cutie lol

CHAN

• ok contrary to popular belief I think he would handle it very well!!

• don’t get me wrong this man is PANICKING under the surface but like. he’s so calm about it on the outside??? hello????

• you call him during practice like “hey so I kinda got hurt I’m ok tho, at the doctor rn” and he’s just like “yes ok are you ok?!”

• little dude lol

• and even though you are, in fact, completely fine, he’s gotta worry smh it’s his job!!

• he comes home and listens to the story as he helps you change the bandages with the most gentle hands ))))):

• and being near you definitely helps calm him down

• he’s back to teasing and being goofy in no time

• this man also definitely knows some medical shit idk what makes me think that but he knows how to like. deal with an injury.

• he definitely is very medically aware idk man I feel like he listens to doctor speak cuz it’s cool and is like “oh yeah go ice that you don’t want it cramping up” whenever one of the other guys complains about something minor lol

• he’s very caring ): I love he sm (:

• he can be a little rat but he knows when to stop and be an ally and what an excellent ally he is!!!!!!!!!

I’m so sorry I’ve never done an after note like this before but seeing all the green and plants makes me think of this damn tweet and I can’t stop laughinh

“he has pollen allergy” I’m sobbing please

[imbeccable-writes]

3 4 and 5 for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow because I TOTALLY don't know everything about it because we talked about it for like a week straight ;D but also seriously because I wanna hear about it :D

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

3. What's your favorite line of narration?

Okay, listen, Wukong really tried to tell MK, okay? He really, really did.

After Mei left, he said to himself, next time I see him. I’ll tell him then. 

And MK was scheduled to come over for training just the next day! So it wasn’t like it was that far off or anything. It was great!

And then MK came over, his face shining with his smile as he came running into Wukong’s clearing and Wukong thought, he looks so happy.

And it would be super uncool if Wukong completely ruined his mood right before training, right? His head wouldn’t be in it anymore! So he swallowed the words back and greeted his successor, resolving to tell him right after training.

Then right-after-training rolled around and MK was still happy; tired and panting, but shining somehow even brighter than before. And really, who was Wukong to ruin his good mood? Was he really going to tell him hey, you’re gonna watch all your friends die and then just make him go home to those very friends? No!

So Wukong wished him a good night and watched MK rush off and get smaller and smaller until he was completely gone, and Wukong muttered, “Fuck,” under his breath.

Next time, he thought, strong in his resolve, next time I’ll tell him.

This… went on for a while.

MK kept staying happy and Wukong kept choosing to put off telling him because he simply couldn’t take breaking his successor’s heart. He would rather waste away under another mountain for 500 years, would rather burn away in that Heaven-forsaken furnace than look MK in the eye, take his heart in his hand, and crush it.

Wukong is just so much fun to write for. He's such a flawed character who has a lot of care and love in his heart for a select few people, and he just doesn't know how to communicate with them. And at this point, Wukong has had just about enough of hurting MK, his beloved successor, thank you very much.

(Never mind that by doing this, he already has. It's a lose-lose situation to be sure.)

4. What's your favorite line of dialogue?

It's a tie between

“I think,” said Tang quietly, “that there are worse ways to be hurt than by being loved so completely. In fact, I believe it to be the only pain worth having.”

“I don’t want him loving me to hurt,” she said...

and

“You listen to me, Sun Wukong, ‘cuz I’m only gonna say this once,” she interrupted, lifting a finger and pointing at him so close his eyes went cross-eyed. “You better stay with him until the end of time, because if you let him get hurt when I’m not there to either beat your ass or protect him myself, I’ll break through the gates of Hell themselves and drag you down with me, quadruple immortality or not.”

Mei and MK are so important to me also??? like. sometimes i see people describing them as siblings, and that's valid, but their bond feels so much more deep than that to me. I genuinely view them as something along the lines of platonic soulmates, and I just adore writing them interacting or talking about the other.

5. What part was hardest to write?

The hardest part to write is definitely the wrap-up of chapter 2 (which is why it's taken so long lmao). I don't know what it is about it- it's like, I want each character to have their own closure with MK in one way or another, but because there's so MANY characters, it feels bogged down with more or less the same narrative of "i'm sorry i hid this from you for this reason" "i understand that and i'm still mad but i forgive you". It doesn't help that this fic has evolved past what it initially was going to be, so some of the things I had written prior to the change don't fit anymore, which is always a tragic cut to make. So far it's basically the moment MK starts to reconcile with his family onward that's been a real pain in my ass this whole time, lmao.

Thanks rex!!! I really need to get on this fic dude. School's been killing meeeee

[kono-rohan-da]

Captain and Coach

Some time ago, @blueboltkatana requested this to be written: Hey uh, I'm embarrassed to be writing this cuz I feel like I'm telling you what to write, but I've had this prompt in my mind for so long. I was thinking how Daichi wasn't just captain for the crows he had to act like a coach as well for quite a while and so he is used to giving advice and helping his teammates but didn't have someone to do that for him and Ukai of course notices and tells him he can leave the team to him now it's ok, and Daichi breaks down because he didn't even realize how much that responsibility weighed on him all this time. I mean Dadchi deserves a dad sometimes too! If u don't like if u don't have to write it it's ok I don't want to seem like I'm telling u what to do!!

Now it's written 😉 On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32628205Or, read below ----

When Ukai Keishin became Karasuno high school’s coach, he thought he would be expecting a chaotic team that doesn’t know how to behave with a coach in the room. Turns out, he was wrong.

Sure, the kids could be rowdy as hell and would screw around but they had drive. They put in the effort. They expected a result and in order to get that result they put in as much work they could as possible.

One thing Ukai regrets, though, is the amount of time it took him to realize why the kids are always so much of a team without his interference.

The realization comes after his first Interhigh with the team. The clue came when he was watching his team return to the sidelines after losing, getting ready to line up and thank Aoba Johsai for the game. In his head, Ukai was planning to say words of comfort and a good job. Calm them down a bet, maybe offer a few hugs.

He had to do exactly none of that.

Sawamura already had an arm around Nishinoya, his free arm raised so he could rub Tanaka’s head. He moved around so quickly from one player to the other, patting the heads of the first-years, hugging the second and third years, pulling Yachi and Shimizu into a small group hug. It’d be only a week later when Ukai would realize that even though Sawamura had dealt out comfort and kind words he hadn’t gotten any in return.

It’s not long until exam day comes. Practice continues but only every other day in the afternoon. Ukai decided to test a little theory out.

During practice after his little revelation, he gave a few commands for drills but left the rest to Sawamura. By some stroke of luck, Takeda wasn’t here to ask Ukai what he’s doing and why he’s staring at Sawamura so intently. Just like Ukai expected Sawamura easily steps into a position of command and support, telling his teammates what to do, suggestions of improvements, and words of motivation that make even Tsukishima move a bit faster.

Sawamura is always moving around. Most people don’t notice this with Hinata and Nishinoya constantly running around but even they stop. Not Sawamura. Always looking around to see if his teammates are good, briefly checking if shoelaces are tied, tracking movement, provided perfectly timed words. At times Ukai wonders if there’s something otherworldly inside of Sawamura. No, he’s just a kid who cares a lot more than most.

“Sawamura-kun!” Ukai calls at the end of practice. “Can you stay behind for a few minutes? I want to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Sawamura replies, a smile of agreement on his face with no hint of the annoyance or slight fear of having done something wrong that would have been on Ukai’s own face if his grandpa had asked the same of him back when he was still in school. Maybe there was once a time Ukai would have thought of Sawamura as too trusting of a kid with his response but now he knows better. In his own way that doesn’t have to do with education Sawamura is the smartest kid he knows.

Twenty minutes later the volleyballs are back in their cart and hidden in the storage room. The net has been taken down and it’s too quiet. Ukai and Sawamura are the only two left now, the boy’s jacket zipped all the way out with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“You wanted to talk to me, coach?”

This already feels weird. He’s used to having to pull Tsukishima or Tanaka aside, sometimes Asahi to remind him to be confident, and all three of them have Ukai tilting his head up just a bit. He has to move his gaze below eye level to make eye contact with Sawamura.

“Don’t think you’re in trouble, kid.” He knows that Sawamura doesn’t think that. “I just wanted to give you a tip like you give your friends.” Sawamura’s eyes widen with interest. Ukai clears his throat. He hopes this doesn’t come out awkward. “You’re an amazing captain, the best I’ve ever seen. And even though you’re captain it doesn’t mean you have to pick up everyone’s slack and carry all the responsibility.” That sounds too much like an attack, gods help him.

“What I mean,” he tries again, running a hand through his hair while closing his eyes “is that I’m here to help, kid. I’m not going to steal your spot or anything. Just...you work so hard and I don’t want you stressing too much. So it’s fine if you want to take a step back every once in a while, sit on the side and just take a few sips of water or something. And if-” his rambling is cut off by a wet sniffle and a shaky breath.

Oh hell no.

Suddenly he’s panicking. He never expected this, never in a million years.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sawamura’s head is bowed, a steady hand out of his pocket which struggles to stay steady as it wipes at tears. Ukai quickly moves closer, placing his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Hey hey, shh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything bad by that.”

“N-no, I’m fine.” The kid contradicts himself by sniffling again. His voice is wet and forced, too small. Ukai already knows that after this he’s going to open a new pack of sigs with how bad he feels. He made Sawamura cry. “It’s just that, just...thank you.”

Ukai freezes.

“I...no one’s ever tried to take some of the responsible,” Sawamura explains. His voice sounds so small, shoulders hunched forward and arms wrapped around himself like a hug. “I don’t want to complain. I don’t want to sound too lazy.”

“Kid, have you ever cried before now?” Ukai can’t help but say. Sawamura’s laugh is humorless and cuts into Ukai. The sniffles are louder and little sobs can’t be muffled anymore. Sawamura shakes his head. A burden, by definition, is something heavy. Generally too heavy to carry on one’s own. And here’s Sawamura not just carrying his own but those of others, making sure that the rest of his team doesn’t feel the pain and hurt and disappointment that can come at any moment.

Gently, Ukai unfolds Sawamura’s arms so that he can properly hug the kid, bringing him close with a hand wrapped around his back and the other on the back of his head, lightly rubbing circles along his spine. Sawamura’s hands, so small, grip the front of Ukai’s shirt, tears quickly soaking into his shoulder.

“You’re a wonderful captain,” Keishin says, choosing to do for Daichi what he does for his team. He’s going to make sure the kid hears these words, understands, and accepts that they’re facts. “You are an amazing defensive and offensive player. You’re willing to dive for the ball at any moment, to try new plays without the fear of failure. Or even if you do have that fear you don’t let it control you. From what I’ve heard from sensei you’re also a really good student.”

He doesn’t know how much time has passed. His throat is starting to feel a bit sore and his eyes had prickled with heat at some time but the words of positivity and support never stopped flowing.

“Thank you,” Daichi mutters at long last sounding utterly exhausted. Keishin ruffles his hair and pulls him back in for a tighter hug.

The next day, Daichi is one of the last people to arrive at practice, his walk leisurely. The hoops are still down from the basketball team’s morning practice. The gym isn’t chaotic at the moment, with most of the players talking to each other or bumping a ball to each other.

Keishin watches as Daichi ignores Sugawara’s greeting. This pikes his interest. He leans forward on the bench and watches as Daichi heads to the ball cart, grabs a volleyball, and walks to where the basketball court’s half-court line is. The boy draws his arm back and launches the ball at the hoop on the other side of the gym. By some miracle, it falls through the hoop.

The gym is silent.

Hinata, Kageyama, and Nishinoya openly gape.

Tsukishima and Ennoshita look like they’re about to go into shock.

Without looking away from the hoop, Daichi points at Tanaka, who is standing by the cart.

“Give me another,” he says, finally looking over his shoulder with an expression of childish glee on his face. Nishinoya beats Daichi to getting a ball and completely fails at getting the ball even close to the hoop. The rest of the team may be confused but Keishin is happy.

This is one of Daichi’s visibly happiest moments. How can he not be happy about that?

[kitkatd7]

Broken Hearts and Whiskey

Summary: Bucky’s not the same anymore. He doesn’t spend time with you at all, or keep his promises. And your done with it.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, lots of angst, drinking, my grammar errors because I didn’t fully edit

Dialogue Prompt #19. “Please! You have to let me make this right.” 

Dialogue Prompt #7: "I can't keep being your second choice, not when you're my first." 

(Prompts will be in bold)

Word Count: 1,654

A/N: This is for @imma-new-soul‘s 550 Follower Writing Challenge and @buckys-other-punk 500 Writing Challenge!! I hope y’all like it! Sorry it’s pretty sad and the ending isn’t as good as it could be :( Also this was inspired by the songs ‘Die From a Broken Heart by Maddie & Tae and Different For Girls by Dierks Bentley' Also there are a few Criminal Minds references in here😂

Masterlinst of Masterlists || Marvel Masterist || Series Masterist || part 2 

------------------

“See you later!” You call over your shoulder at Natasha and Wanda as you unlock the door to your apartment, coming home from a very successful shopping spree. Walking into your home you toe-off your shoes at the door, setting down your keys and purse. “Babe, I’m home!” You sing, excited to finally get some time with Bucky after him being gone on a mission for three weeks. “Babe?” You ask, walking into the kitchen, setting down your multiple shopping bags and taking in the empty space. Where the hell is he? After searching the bedroom, living room, even the bathroom and still coming up empty, you look to see if you missed any calls. Nope. He was supposed to be here you fume inwardly as you press the speed dial photo; both of you together at a carnival, you smiling brightly as he places a kiss on your cheek sweetly.

It goes straight to voicemail. 5 times. Now you're not even mad… just disappointed in him. He promised. On try number 6 you’re just done. “Hey, it’s me. Listen, so I don’t know where you are but- just don’t bother coming home tonight, okay? I had plans but- never mind, it doesn’t matter that much. I’ll see you later.”  Pressing the red button you throw your phone on the couch before changing into something more comfortable. It wouldn’t be so frustrating that he wasn’t here if it was a one time thing- But this is the fifth time he hasn’t come home to spend time with you after a mission.

Plopping on the couch, you press start on something mindless that you aren’t going to watch anyway before checking your phone for- well. really anything.

1 new message

Unlocking your phone quickly, you open it in high hopes, only to see Sam’s name appear and your face falls. 

Sam: Bucky said you tried to call. Is it important?

You: No… just we had plans.

You confide, knowing Sam will understand.

Sam: Oh shit. Okay, want me to tell him to come home?

You: No. It’s fine.

Sighing, you toss your phone on the other end of the couch, throwing your head back in newfound anger. Asshole. He saw your calls and didn’t even pick up the damn phone. After a year of dating, you at least deserved that. 

------------

“Hey this is y/n, I can’t come to the phone right now cuz I’m out livin’ my life! Leave it at the beep.” He hears your all too familiar voicemail through the speaker. He had helped you come up with it, you hadn’t known what to put on it. He kicks himself, knowing you weren’t actually out living your life, just dodging his calls. Not that he blamed you- He deserved it and he knew it. Calling again, he’s not surprised when he hears your voicemail again.

“Hey… Um, listen, I know I was supposed to be at your place after the mission… I just wanted to unwind with the guys and- Shit. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think you would mind that much, I’ll be over in a bit to make it up to you, okay?” He leaves the message and ends the call before starting his car and driving towards your apartment, guilt heavy in his stomach.

You listen to his voicemail over and over, a strange mix of rage and sorrow weighing on your heart.

Tears roll slowly down your cheeks silently as you lay curled up in a defensive ball on your bed, trying to block out the unmistakable sound of Bucky begging you to open the front door; “Babe, please open the door,” He says, fist resting gently against the frame. “I’m sorry- really, really sorry. Please let me in and we can talk about it,” He sighs, resting his head against the door in defeat. He could break the lock and go in. You both know that. But he wouldn’t do that to you- All that would do is make you fear him and that’s the last thing he wants. He slides his back down the wall til he’s sitting on the floor next to your door, his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair; Tears gathering in his lashes. He really messed up this time.

----------

The next day you drag yourself out of bed, trying to forget last night and all the tears you shed. After a shower and breakfast, you head out the door for a coffee run before work. You stop in your tracks when you see Bucky still sitting there, eyes red from lack of sleep and regret written all over his face. He jumps up when you walk out, keys in hand, the door closing behind you. “What are you doing here?” 

“I- I came to apologize,” he murmurs, looking in your eyes.

“I don’t want to hear it,” you bite, moving to step around him but stopping when he steps to block your path.

“Bucky, I’m going to be late for work,” you say coldly, glaring at him. “Move out of the way.”

“Please doll, just let me expla-”

Huffing, you roll your eyes. “I understand perfectly, James.” You watch as he flinches a little at the use of his first name. You only use it when your really mad or really happy, and it isn’t the latter right now. “You were too busy with your beer buddies to come see your girlfriend after being gone for three weeks, but what’s new? It’s been like this for months. I guess it was naive of me to expect something else this time.” You shoulder past him as he stares at you; dumbfounded. Tears gather in your eyes as you make your way to your car in the rain. Your almost there when you feel a large hand on your arm and hear your name being whispered. You turn around and look up into his stormy eyes. You always loved his eyes- They’re always so bright and big and- Now is not the time to be thinking about his stupidly gorgeous eyes.

“Please! You have to let me make this right,” he whispers, tears forming in his eyes as well, mixing with the raindrops rolling down his face and dampening is hair. 

“Bucky…” You sigh, pulling your arm out of his grasp gently. “I don’t think you can fix this. I can't keep being your second choice, not when you're my first." You climb into your car as he stares at you as you pull out of the parking lot. He sinks to the ground on his knees, not caring that his clothes are practically soaked, or that someone might think he looks crazy. None of that matters- because your gone. His girl. Gone. He can’t breathe. The pressure weighs heavy in lungs as all the air is pushed from them and his heart shatters. It’s all he can do to draw a ragged breathe between sobs.

---------------------

You manage to hold yourself together until you pull into the starbucks parking lot. And then you totally loose it; Tears and mascara mix together and run down your cheeks as you sob into your steering wheel. It feels like your heart is being torn out of your chest. Bucky was the best thing that ever happened to you… and deep down you had feared something like this would happen, but you didn’t think it actually would. You loved him- And now he was gone. 

You trek into Walmart, heading straight for the junk food isle, not caring that you look like an absolute mess. Grabbing some much needed chocolate, chips, cookies and other coping foods, you check out, starting to cry again when the cashier gives you a pitiful look on your way out. 

Stumbling into your apartment, you throw your bags on the kitchen counter before grabbing your desired snacks and tossing them on your bed. You pull on sweatpants and one of Bucky’s hoodies, sending an ache of longing through your chest. Even changing clothes feels like more effort than you could possibly muster but you somehow manage before crawling into bed and turning on reruns of Friends before you start crying again. After 2 bags of chocolate, a bag of Doritos, a burger and french fries you grabbed on the way home, you still feel like absolute shit. Maybe this is just how it will be- Unable to get over him, unable to move on. Eventually you fall asleep from exhaustion, tear stains and left-over makeup on your face and Bucky’s pillow clutched against your chest. 

------------

Bucky ambles into the bar, sliding onto a stool with sullen eyes, ordering a shot of vodka before mumbling “Keep em coming.” 

Throwing his head back, he grimaces as the bitter liquid burns its way down his throat. He knows he can’t get drunk but he’s willing to try. Anything to stop feeling like this.

The old barkeep leans on the bar behind him, looking at Bucky with an evaluating stare. 

“What was her name?” He questions gently after a moment of silence.

“Wha- How did you know?” Bucky looks up in surprise and pain, his forearms resting on the bar, holding another shot.

“Son, you can’t hide the look of love gone wrong.”

Tossing back another, Bucky looks in the shot glass like it holds all the answers before whispering your name, his voice breaking. “Did you ever love someone?” He asks brokenly.

The older man chuckles lightly at this. “I did, still do.” He holds up his left hand as proof.  “Do you wanna know the secret to love?” He asks, stepping closer.

“Why not, it’s not like I could lose anything else,” Bucky says dryly, taking yet another shot.

“Sometimes love doesn’t last and you have to let it go… but sometimes you have to fight for it. And it’s up to you to decide which you’re gonna do. So which is it?”

-----------------------

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[illfoandillfie]

Hi!! Could you write something for Benny? Like, he's possessive (but not in a violent way), maybe overprotective cuz the reader is 5 years younger than him, so he feels the need to take care of her, etc. If you feel like writing it, ofc. Thx!!

Ooo this is something a bit different from what I normally do so I hope it’s okay! Might have leaned a bit more into jelaous!ben but i tried to get the possessive thing wrapped up in it too lmao

warnings: no smut, just a jealous bf, mention of hickeys, mention of drink spiking

Blurb Advent: Day 20 (we’re in the home stretch!)

“You ready to go Ben?” you asked, sticking your head round the bedroom door.

“Yeah I am, but are you sure you want me there? It’s your high school reunion,”

“Of course I want you there. And everyone else is bringing partners.”

“But won’t you wanna go off and catch up with people?”

“Jules is bringing Mike, you like him. Besides, if you’re with me we might be able to make an excuse and leave a bit early. We can say the babysitters at home and we can’t keep her waiting,”

“We don’t have kids,”

“Most people there won’t know that.”

“Alright, alright, you’ve won me over. Let me just grab my shoes,”

 Once you arrived and it became obvious that most people had brought partners with them, Ben stopped worrying so much. A hall had been booked with caterers and an open bar so Ben headed off to get you drinks as you checked your coat. The first half hour or so was spent in brief conversations with people you’d lost contact with, introducing them to Ben and going over the same small talk about work and families and weddings. You were just bracing yourself for more of the same when you were tapped on the shoulder.

“Y/N?”

You turned around to find a man towering over you, his skin tanned, and his hair sun bleached blonde, “Oh my god, Dave! How have you been?” you asked, automatically going in for a hug. It was clear Dave had been working out, his biceps bulging as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’ve been great, how about you?”

“So good, um, this is my boyfriend Ben, Ben this is Dave. We obviously went to school together,” you laughed.

“Nice to meet you, man,” Dave said, shaking Ben’s hand before focusing back on you, “I haven’t seen you since…well the pizza place I guess. What have you been doing with yourself,”

You blushed a little at the reminder, conscious of Ben’s eyes flitting between you and Dave as you caught up.

“I saw the best exhibit at the art gallery last week. It was all art about space and the stars, absolutely gorgeous, you should go check it out. There was this one paining and I wish I could remember the artist but it was a big landscape thing with a night sky. Reminded me of our that weekend we went camping.” Dave smiled fondly at the memory.

“So I take it you guys were pretty good friends then?” Ben asked.

“Yeah for most of high school. We actually dated for a few months too,” Dave said with a chuckle.

Ben’s hand tightened on yours.

“Are you seeing anyone now Dave?”

“No, unfortunately not. I’ve been travelling for work a lot so I haven’t really had a chance to meet anyone for the last six months.”

“Well the travel must be fun,”

The more Dave and you talked the more tense Ben became, squeezing your hand, his jaw stiff and his smile a little forced. Dave didn’t notice, just kept the conversation going though you wondered how long that would last. You were still talking when you finished your drink.

“Oh, hey, why don’t I get us a couple more of these?” Dave asked, taking your empty glass, “white wine was it?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you smiled as Dave turned but as soon as he was out of ear shot you turned to Ben, “What is your problem?”

“I don’t like him,”

“You need to chill out,”

“Why didn’t you tell me your ex was going to be here?”

“I didn’t know. We haven’t spoken since I broke up with him about two months after we started going out.”

“I knew it, I knew he was trying to get you back. I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

“You sound insane. Dave is a nice guy who is not interested in me. Just relax okay?”

“Okay, I’ll try. Itching for a smoke though.”

“So just duck outside and have one then,”

“And leave you alone with him? What if he spikes your drink or something?”

“What are you guys talking about?” Dave reappeared and handed you each a new drink.

Ben took his with a polite thank you though he made no move to drink it.

“Oh, Ben was just saying he might pop out for a smoke in a minute,”

“I’d say we should just move things out there and join him but I’m trying to quit,” Dave raised the sleeve of his shirt to show you the nicotine patch he was wearing.

“How’s that going?” you took a sip of your drink, able to feel Ben staring at you.

“Not easy but worth it.”

Ben’s arm wrapped slid over your lower back, his hand coming to rest on your waist.

You persevered with the conversation for a little while longer, but Ben’s fingers were digging into your skin and you could almost hear his teeth grinding. Finally you made an excuse and lead Ben outside.

“What is the matter with you?” you hissed, not wanting anyone to overhear.

“I don’t like him,”

“Why? You met him like 20 minutes ago, what is you don’t like?”

Ben was silent for a moment, staring out at the traffic, “He’s taller than me. And completely ripped. And he’s quitting smoking. And he’s got this fancy job and a privet jet or whatever he was talking about.”

“Are you jealous? Of Dave?”

“No. Maybe. Shut up, you are.”

You let out a huff of laughter.

“I just… you must have realised there’s a resemblance between us,”

“I have a type,”

“Yeah well, it was like meeting a better version of me and I didn’t want him to steal you from me,”

“Steal me? Really?”

“Fuck, no that came out wrong,” Ben sighed, “Sorry. It’s just when you said you broke up with him I thought that if it was me, I wouldn’t be able to get over you so easy,”

“Maybe I didn’t exactly break up with him.”

“What?”

“I mean, I was the first one to say it but it was pretty mutual. We didn’t work as a couple and it completely destroyed our friendship and if I hadn’t of said it he would have. He absolutely doesn’t want me back. Besides this all happened so long ago, he’s moved on and obviously so have I.”

Ben nodded, “Yeah, bit silly of me to get so worked up about it. Should we go back in?”

You could tell Ben wasn’t completely reassured though he had relaxed a bit.

“Alright, you can give me a hickey.”

“What?”

“I know you want to do it to mark your territory or whatever. And frankly I’d rather this than you getting into some sort of pissing match with Dave or anyone else in there. So go ahead, give me a hickey that no one could deny seeing so that everyone knows I’m taken and you can stop being so weird about my highschool boyfriend.

Ben tilted his head, his eyes on your neck as he considered the offer, “I shouldn’t. Feels wrong to do it at your reunion.”

“I’m not going to see like 95 percent of these people until the next reunion so I literally don’t care what they think.”

He shook his head and then leaned in to kiss you, “It’s alright, you don’t have to. You know I trust you, I just get a little crazy sometimes. Especially when you’re exes are so much better than me.”

You cupped Ben’s face with one hand and gave him a small slap on the cheek with the other, “Stop talking shit about my boyfriend or else. He’s ten times anyone else I’ve been with, no matter how many private jets they own.”

Ben gave you a shy smile, “Thanks. And sorry.”

“It’s alright. And that offer is still on the table if you want. The hickey doesn’t have to be on my neck either. It could always be somewhere a little more…hidden.”

[euphoria-vmin7]

tiger flower 02 | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre/warnings: angst, hanahaki! au, non-idol! au, heartbreak, unrequited love, swearing, drinking, sad ending, implied/mentions of death

word count: 4,805

summary: the petals were supposed to be your secret.

rating: pg-15 (swearing and drinking)

– a/n: tiger flower was actually just supposed to be one part. i had no plans of writing a part two BUT since quite a few of you asked for it, I got inspired and wrote this. it turned out longer than i expected tbh. there’s a lot of angst and crying in this but honestly, that was expected with this au lol. i hope you guys like this :)

reposting this cuz i had some technical difficulties oops-

read part 1 here

Jungkook felt an odd mixture of confusion and worry. Normally, he’d be used to you acting crazy and all, but this was different. He watched with concern as you took another lazy swig from the bottle of beer in front of you. Though, the fact that you were drinking wasn’t what was concerning him. It was the way you were acting.

Jungkook had known you for years now. He had been with you on the first night the two of you had ever gotten drunk. And to this day you had always been the same while tipsy: loud, energetic, and giggly. There wasn’t a single time he could name where you had been any different. He couldn’t even count on his fingers how many times he’d have to shush you in between giggles as you shouted random words that seemed to make sense in the middle of the bar. Crazy, loud drunk had defined you for as long as he could remember.

And though sometimes it frustrated him to no end, he found it endearing all the same. In fact, tonight he had been counting on it. He had called you to come out for a drink with him in hopes of feeling a bit more cheerful after watching you get drunk. He needed to get cheered up.

Though, instead, tonight you were different.

You were hunched over and quiet and zoning out too easily. The happy, cheerful, boisterous drunk in you had disappeared and instead been replaced by this. Whatever this was.

He briefly worried that his frown lines would permanently etch themselves to his young face.

Jungkook had been having relationship problems. That had been the sole reason why he had invited you out tonight. Though he and Jieun had only been dating for roughly three and half months, they had fought one too many times already. He loved her, he really did. But the two of them were so different in personality, that when they clashed, it didn’t end up pretty.

Another more selfish reason had drawn him to pulling out his phone and dialing your number that night. He hadn’t seen you in weeks. He had been texting you, calling you, and trying to catch up with you around campus, but every time he was brushed off in a hurried manner. He wondered whether he had done something to piss you off. But then he pushed the thought away because no, you always talked out your disagreements.

Maybe something was bothering you that you couldn’t tell him about. What it was made him frustratingly curious, especially considering that most of the times, you could always tell him about it. He’d understand. He knew you better than anyone, after all.

Or maybe it was just exactly as you said: “Sorry Kook, I’ve been trying to study for finals,”

Even though for the last few years you had always studied with him.

Maybe it was Jungkook himself. He knew that getting into a relationship had significantly reduced the time he had for you. Was he himself being distant? Perhaps you had grown so detached because he hadn’t even put in the effort to keep you close to him.

Whatever the reason was, Jungkook wished it was fixed soon. It was bad enough fighting with the girl he was dating. He didn’t want to feel your absence so deeply, either.

He thought that maybe your behavior in the past few weeks was being reflected in your drinking habits, too. Because now as he watched you gloomily take another chug of beer, he felt as though he was drinking with a different person.

He was tipsy himself, but felt as though he was seeing things much more clearly than usual. There were dark circles under your eyes that were not there before and he realized that you hadn’t once smiled fully since you arrived. You were different.

“(Name),” he nudged your shoulder, a bit surprised at how clear his own voice sounded. Your eyes lethargically moved to settle on him and he felt a bit hurt at the way you moved your body away, as though he had tainted you by the one touch.

“Yes Jungkook?” you drawled.

“What’s wrong with you?”

You snorted and chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

“Well for one you’re not standing on the table trying to imitate Jimin hyung’s dancing like usual, so what the fuck is wrong?”

“Maybe I’m just tired, Jungkook. You ever think of that?” you laughed quietly as you tipped your drink past your lips. Once again, he frowned.

“I guess…” he muttered, deciding not to push you too actively. He hoped the drinks he was paying for would help loosen your tongue. Help you spill your worries to him just as he had done to you a million times before.

“So…” you spoke up after another long gulp. “What’s with the sudden call?”

“We haven’t talked in weeks, Peanut,”

He didn’t notice how the nickname made you cringe.

“So I wanted to see you. Check in, you know?” he asked, looking down at his glass and traced the rim, feeling uncharacteristically shy. “If you were…doing okay,”

You smiled at him ruefully. He was so blissfully unaware of how everything he did made your heart swell and break at the same time.

“Kook,” you muttered, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m seriously fine. I swear, I really had to study for finals and that’s why I haven’t been hanging with you as much. I’m sorry if I worried you,”

Jungkook released a breath, an unknown weight lifting from his chest. “Ah okay. Gotcha,”

You analyzed him for a solid second before leaning back a bit. “But that’s not the only reason you called me out tonight, is it Kook?”

He winced at your uncanny ability to pick his facade apart. “No…” he responded, a miserable tone overtaking his voice. “I just…Jieun and I have been fighting,”

He missed the way your shoulders sagged with utter disappointment. Though you knew deep down that his worry for you was genuine, the fact that he wanted to meet you for help with her stung in more ways than you cared to admit. You would never say that to him though.

Instead you raise your brows in surprise and show interest. “Oh? About what?”

“I’m…not really sure,” he replies, shrugging in defeat. “We just have petty fights. I don’t know where they come from but…they don’t end well at all,”

You hummed thoughtfully, finishing your drink and motioning to the bartender for another. “Did you two, have a conversation recently that ended…badly?”

Jungkook thought back to the previous week when she had casually brought up marriage and winced to himself. He hadn’t thought about the outcome of the conversation since it had happened, but with the way you were looking at him, worry swirling in your hazy eyes, he had the urge to spill.

“She was talking about the future,” he mumbled. “And I guess I couldn’t handle it,”

Your lips made an ‘O’ shape as you took in this piece of information. “What do you mean by ‘couldn’t handle it’?”

“I…” it seemed that despite you being much more drunk than he was, he was the one who was struggling to form words. “I just…couldn’t listen to it. And when I asked her to drop it…”

You hummed once again. “Well, I guess I understand why. You aren’t ready for that yet. But she’s started thinking about it, right?”

“Yeah exactly,” Jungkook nodded. “And like we’ve only been dating for a few months now. I didn’t even consider marriage when I started dating her,”

A stagnant pause took over the conversation and Jungkook quickly wondered whether he had said something unreasonable.

“Jungkook…” you asked quietly. “Do you…see yourself getting married to her in the future?”

He balked at the question, opening his mouth to respond but finding no answer. He stopped to think about it. Did he see a future with Jieun? Sure, he was crazy about her. Heck, he was pretty sure he was in love with her. But a future?

Could he see himself, years down the line, slipping a wedding ring onto her finger? Could he see himself, years down the line, holding their children by the arms and tossing them up to the sky, tiny giggles echoing in his ears?

He hadn’t even realized that he had shut his eyes, but when he had opened them, he saw you staring at him. God, why did you look so drained?

What happened to you?

Instead of posing these questions, Jungkook tried to give you an answer. “I…don’t know. I want to see a future with her. But right now…”

You nodded. You understood. Jungkook was younger than Jieun was. She had already lived through these few years that Jungkook still hadn’t reached. So perhaps he wanted to, just not yet.

“Tell her that then,” you replied with a soft smile.

“Tell her what?” he asked, confusion lacing his tone as he looked at you. You gave him a knowing look.

“Exactly what you feel. That you want to, but not yet,”

Your voice was tired, but not because of the drinks. Something was horribly wrong and Jungkook hated not knowing what it was. More than tired you sounded…broken.

“I…” he trailed off, looking at you with shiny doe eyes. You chuckled, patting him on the shoulder before placing cash on the table.

“Trust me. You guys will get over this. You need to tell her what you’re feeling though. Don’t just drop the conversation, you know?” you grinned. “Good luck, Kookie. I’m rooting for you two,”

You pulled your jacket off the barstool and slipped your arms through the sleeves. There was a pink flush in your cheeks and Jungkook watched the way your dim eyes sparkled with something new.

It wasn’t something good. It looked painful.

“I’m gonna go,” you sighed, pulling your hair out and over your shoulders. Jungkook was standing in a second, gripping your arm quickly, but gently. The touch made you stiffen.

“By yourself?” he frowned. “You’re drunk as hell, Peanut,”

“If you’re asking if I’m driving myself home, then no,” you snorted. “I’ll call a cab,”

“I’ll drive you,”

“Psh, if you think you’re in a place to drive, Kook, you’ve got another thing coming,” you giggled. “Just take a cab or call someone,”

“At least let me walk you there,” he said hurriedly. He slammed some cash down next to yours that roughly covered his expenses. Something was wrong. It was itching at his gut and bothering him to no end that you weren’t sharing your worries with him. You didn’t even remember that he had promised you he’d pay tonight. You opened your mouth to protest but he gave you a stern glare that had you sighing in defeat. You nodded mutely and turned to shakily walk out of the bar which had suddenly become far too loud for you. Your head was pounding as Jungkook’s heavy footsteps echoed in your ears when he hurried after you. He was at your side by the time you stepped out, taking a mouthful of the cold air to quell the familiar dizziness in your head.

You could faintly make out his sweet voice on the phone, calling you a nearby cab and giving the details of your location. You smiled weakly to yourself.  

You found it harder than you expected to take proper steps and kicked yourself for drinking so much. Jungkook chuckled at you and felt his heart lift when you turned to smack him. He had the conscience to hold his arm out for you and the two of you walked down the street in relative silence. You mentally thanked Jungkook for letting you walk a bit before getting into a car. The nighttime air was doing wonders for your headache.

Jungkook glanced down at you, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as he struggled to find a way to speak. How was he supposed to ask if you were okay yet again and expect a different answer?

“(Name)…” he asked.

“Hm?”

You weren’t looking at him. Lights shone in your eyes and for a second he believed that they were the ones he knew, but the bright buildings around him quickly diminished his hope.

“Are you okay?”

You grinned. “You’ve been asking me that, Jeon. And I keep telling you I’m fine,”

He watched your gaze travel around the city and he was hit with this unfounded feeling of longing.

I missed you.

“But you’re not fine,” he stressed, feeling frustrated in you and himself. “There’s something else bothering you and you’re not telling me,”

Your shoulders sagged and Jungkook mentally celebrated his victory. “I…” you started. “I promise, Kook. I’m really fine. I’ve just been studying so much and sleeping late…”

You sounded genuine. But he wasn’t sure. He used to be able to tell whether you were lying in a second. What happened?

“And…” you trailed off.

“And?” he urged, leaning closer to you.

“I’ve…been getting sick,”

He frowned at that. He never considered that it would be your health that was causing your avoidances.

“Sick?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I guess it has something to do with all the stress I’ve been putting on myself lately. But I’ve gotten sick a lot in the past few months so…”

He bit his bottom lip in concern. “Are you…feeling better now?”

You shut your eyes and took a deep breath in. “Now…I’m okay,”

“But…?” he asked.

“But it might come back. I don’t know, it’s all really random,”

He rubbed your shoulder softly. “I’m sorry Peanut,” he felt guilty. “I haven’t even been checking up on you,”

“No,” you chuckled. “Not your fault, Kook. I’ve been keeping to myself. I didn’t want you to see me like that,”

The words confused him. You both had stumbled into each other’s houses countless number of times, no matter how sick you both were. The other one had always made chicken soup. It was a norm.

He worried.

“(Name)…”

You turned to look at him. He felt so empty when he looked into your dull eyes.

“Please take care of yourself,”

You grinned a bit and nodded. “I will,”

He barely believed that. Something was wrong. There was something else you were hiding.

You staggered a bit and Jungkook’s grip on your arms tightened. He was about to start scolding you for drinking past your limit but stopped himself. You laughed. The real laugh. Your eyes shut, pink flushed cheeks, and windswept hair, and yet, you looked so unreal. How long had he been away from you? Did you really have such a strong hold on him that in just a few weeks of being away from you, he had forgotten the way you laughed? He felt a surge of disappointment in himself.

“You’re crazy,” he said, shaking his head as a chuckle escaped his lips. “So fucking crazy,”

“Yeah yeah,” you brushed off, slurring a bit. “Which makes me much more entertaining than you are,”

He had it in him to chuckle. He saw the cab pull up and held his hand up to catch the driver’s attention.

“The cab’s across the street. Think you can make it without kissing the road?” he teased and you laughed once again. His heart swelled with pride and relief.

“I’ve got it,”

That was a lie. You paused a bit and blinked quickly, as though trying to get your eyes to focus.

Then you stumbled forward and Jungkook scrambled to hold you against him. Though he wasn’t prepared for the harsh cough to tumble past your lips. You wheezed in pain, clutching at your chest and his heart thudded with worry. The worry disappeared completely when he saw the petals. You hacked into your hands, repetitive coughs that sounded so painful, he felt it in his own chest. They continued to fall, bright orange against your skin. Petals turned into whole flowers.

When the coughs ceased, Jungkook was looking to your palms in shock. His heart shattered when his eyes darted to your face. You refused to look at him, instead staring at your shaking hands with one expression.

Caught.

His breath hitched, and then an influx of emotions filled his chest. Shock, then pity, sadness, and finally anger.

“What the fuck, (Name),” he uttered in a low voice. “What the fuck is this?”

He knew what it was. He knew what it meant. And the only thought running through his mind was killing the person who was causing this.

“It’s…” you started and he missed the way your voice shook.

“Is this what you meant by getting sick?”

“Listen-”

“Just how long have you been hiding this from me?!” he couldn’t control the volume of his voice. “Who is it?”

“Jungkook-”

“Who is it?!”

“Fuck,” you swore, shutting your eyes and gripping your hair. “I can’t,”

He was livid. Red hot anger burned in his throat.

“You’re protecting him?! After you’ve been suffering through all of this?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”  

There was no way you actually believed you could keep this from him. You bit your lip to prevent a sob from escaping. You didn’t want it to happen this way.

“Get the surgery,” he ordered lowly and you remained quiet.

“Kook-”

“(NAME)!!” he yelled, holding your shoulders. “GET THE FUCKING SURGERY!!”

“I CAN’T!!” you shouted back, tears falling now. He stepped back a bit, though now he was even angrier.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU WOULD RATHER DIE FOR THIS BITCH THAN GET THE SURGERY-”

“IT’S YOU JUNGKOOK!!”

It took him a second to process what you said. He was so focused on his anger, on your tears, and on how stupid he had been for not seeing this earlier. When he repeated it once more in his head, fear swallowed him whole. His hands dropped as he looked down at you, lips parted, heart racing.

“What?”

“It’s you,” you sniffled noisily. “I’m in love with you. The petals came because you didn’t feel the same,”

What does one say to that? How does one respond to that?

I’m helpless.

For the first time in his life, Jungkook is speechless. He has no response to your words. No response that seems appropriate enough.

“I’m not getting the surgery for this, Jungkook. Anyone else, maybe. But you,” you cleared your throat and wiped your eyes. The dullness in them suddenly made sense, and Jungkook’s throat tightened. “I would never. Goodnight, Kook,”

You turn to cross the street and Jungkook is desperate to chase after you. But an unknown force keeps him rooted to the spot. His legs are heavier than any weights he has ever lifted before. And the image of your back getting further and further away from him paints itself into his mind. Petals fall from the sky and he cries.

Hundreds of texts and plenty of calls were ignored until he couldn’t take it anymore. He had always respected your privacy. He decided he was past that. His knuckles were stinging and he was sure they’d bruise with the force of his knocks. He knew you were in your apartment. There was no way you had left since the cab had dropped you off, as Jungkook arrived only minutes later.

Jungkook made a promise to wait there until you opened the door. And both of you knew exactly how stubborn he was. He was counting on it tonight.

“Open the door, (Name),” his voice was already shaking and he cursed himself. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to force you to think rationally.

His knocks were desperate. He wished you’d just give up and open the door, but he knew you were just as stubborn as he was. Memories of competitions and play fights flashed behind his eyes and his throat tightened. He swallowed thickly and knocked harder.

“What the fuck, Jungkook-”

He himself was surprised at the way you wrenched the door open but he got over it quickly and pushed his way inside. You were still dressed in the clothes you had worn to the bar, but you looked much more tired. He wondered how many more flowers you had coughed up since you left. The thought made him sick.

“Jungkook, please,” you sighed. “I’m tired I just want to-”

“How long?” he asked quietly and you sighed again.

“Kook-”

“How long?” he repeated. He already knew, but he needed to hear it from you.

“Too long,” you answered and he shut his eyes tightly. “Years, Kook,”

“Fuck,” he cursed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What good would it have done?” you turned away to walk to your couch. Memories of the two of you curled up on that couch made him wince.

“It…” he started but he had no answer. You smiled knowingly.

“Exactly. You would’ve just felt guilty for years and we probably wouldn’t have such a great friendship,”

“You should’ve told me,” he repeated, even though he knew you were right. You just shook your head to yourself as he took a seat next to you carefully, as though you’d break right then and there.

“It was my struggle. I have to deal with it,”

He took a shaky breath in, his hands clammy. “Have you told anyone else yet?”

“My parents know,” you sighed before chuckling at the pamphlets littering your center table. “As you can see they’ve been trying to persuade me to get the surgery-”

“And you should!” he shouted, though you barely flinched.

“Jungkook,” you said sternly, turning to face him. “You know what the side effects are, don’t you?”

He remained quiet, though yes, he did know.

“I’ll lose my memories. Of you. Of us. I can’t do that, Kookie,”

“Why not?” he asked, his eyes glazing over as tears pooled at his waterline. “Why can’t you?”

“Because,” you smiled ruefully. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you. I can’t lose that,”

He put his face in his hands and sniffled shakily. He could barely look at you. He hated that you’d given up.

“B-But I do love you,” he tried. His fingers were grasping thin air, but all they were catching were the petals of the tiger flower.

“No, Kookie,” you shook your head. “You know that’s not enough,”

Strong friendship was not enough. His friendship was not enough. He’d never be enough.

“I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way,” you smiled up at him and he felt his heart break. “It’s okay,”

How could you say that? How could you pretend like everything was okay? Nothing is okay about this. He felt so useless. So upset. So angry. So helpless.

I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way.

“No no,” he was crying. “No I do love you. I do,”

You shook your head sadly and he cursed you for being able to smile at him like that. Light he once knew, light that comforted him any time he needed, had completely disappeared from your eyes.

He’s helpless. He needed to do something. Anything, you persuade you. He had to show you.

I love you, I do. I’m enough, I swear. I love you, that’s enough.

When he kissed you, your heart shattered for the final time. You could taste the salt of tears but you weren’t sure whether they came from him or you. One kiss. One final kiss.

You had spent years of your life waiting for this one moment. But yet when it came, you wished it hadn’t. You wanted nothing more than for this moment to be yet another one of your wishful dreams.

Because you and he both knew that it meant nothing. It meant nothing that could save you. He was trying so hard to pull you back to him. To prove that he was being sincere. But whether he was convincing you or himself was lost in the sound of hearts breaking.

He pulled away, hands still holding your face, knowing that once he let go, he’d lose you forever. Your hair tickled his skin like the whispers of childish secrets once did, and he reveled in the feeling. He was sobbing. You had never seen him sob like this before.

“How could you do this to me?” you shut your eyes to avoid looking at him, his crumbling expression brewing yet more guilt inside of you. “How could you let me do this to you?”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kookie,” you chuckled weakly. “It was mine,”

“Stop it,” tears were dripping down his soft cheeks fast as he pushed his forehead against yours. “You’re hurting so much because of me. Stop it,”

What he was telling you to stop, even he didn’t know. A part of him wanted to shout and scream. To scold you for ever having feelings for an idiot like him. Just stop it. Stop loving me, please.

But even he knew it was easier said than done. It had happened. The damage had already been done.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered through cries. “I’m so sorry,”

“It’s not your fault,” you repeated, smiling. He loved that smile, but in that moment, he hated it more than anything. He prayed to the heavens that you would stop pretending like everything was okay. It was not okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.

“Get the surgery,” he pleaded. “Please (Name), get the surgery. I can’t…”

He choked on a sob but you knew what he wanted to say. I can’t lose you.

“Kook,” you mumbled, putting a hand on his cheek. “I never want to forget us,”

He broke then and there, legs going weak and he sobbed. He fell to his knees and cried into his hands. He knew that you had made up your mind. There was nothing he could do to change your mind.

He hated you. God, he hated you more than anything.

He hated the way you bent down to hug him the same way you had been hugging him for years. He hated the way you were the one comforting him when he should’ve been the one holding you. He hated how you were okay. You weren’t supposed to be okay. You were supposed to scream and cry and curse him for breaking your heart like this. You were supposed to hate him. Hate him so that he could feel the pain he had caused you all these years.

He quietly wished that he was the one coughing up petals instead.

Why were you so understanding?

How could you still love him after he had reduced you to this? How could you even bring yourself to hold him when every touch was killing you on the inside?

That’s when he realized that he would never be as good as you. All the playful competitions over the years that he had taken the prize for paled in comparison to this one moment. You won against him, but you lost everything, and his heart ached for you.

You were going. You were leaving him and there was nothing he could do to keep you with him. All his life, Jungkook had despised feeling helpless. But he had never known that it could feel like this. That helplessness could feel like utter destruction. He cursed fate. He cursed the universe. He cursed everything he knew because why? Why did fate have to do this to him, to you? Why did the universe create such a path for people? Why did the people who suffer meet such heartbreaking ends? Why you? Why did you fall for him? Why wouldn’t you let him go? Why you?

His arms felt like lead when they moved to wrap around you, but he held you tighter than he had ever done before. Your body was warm, and images of play fights, spontaneous knocks, and fortresses made of blankets and pillows filled his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from them. Childish laughter echoed in his ears, melding with sweet whispers, and heartfelt secrets. Somewhere in the distance, something shattered. He felt soft petals brush against his skin. They tickled his subconscious, and he choked on a sob. He opened his eyes and looked down at his arms, cursing the lies and false hope he had tried to give you earlier. He praised you for being able to see through him, just as you had always been able to. He felt bile rise up in his throat as his glossy eyes danced over his own tattoos.

He hated Tiger Flowers.

.

.

.

a/n: i wanted to leave the ending broad like this so you can imagine what happens afterwards!! though i think the options are pretty limited lol. i hope you enjoyed :)

[thebigqueer]

BILCO FANFIC - “The VSCO Demon”

Summary: Will is possessed with a VSCO demon that will turn him into the one and only Billiam Thabdrew Sksksolace, a VSCO girl.

Word Count: 3513

Note: This is my first writing on Tumblr so everyone sing happy birthday! also its terrible! also I GREATLY APPRECIATE FEEDBACK (but please give it to me gently cuz im a Sensitive Bitch TM) (if you even sound a little mean ill start crying)

ALSO: Credits to my online bff for Nico’s pet hyena, Bambi. (HI I LOVE YOU)

Nico knew something was wrong with Will.

He could tell that there was something always bothering him, hidden deep beneath that sunshiny facade he always seemed to use in front of other people. He was hiding something, and it seemed to be eating at him like a parasite. 

Nico’s suspicions began when he first noticed Will’s slight speech slipup. Will and Kayla were discussing the new demigods that were to move in soon, and Kayla let loose the fact that she was a little iffy about one of them. Will’s eyes had widened, showing off the blue of his eyes, and he said, “Anna oop-”

He clamped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late. He’d already said it. Nico didn’t know what it meant, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous. (Was it some kind of prophetic power? Did Will just spew some words from a prophecy in a totally different language? Maybe Nico would ask Rachel later.) When Nico confronted him afterwards, Will just turned his head away and said he was going to head to sleep.

It wasn’t only his foreign phrases - it was also the stuff he bought. On their dates to New York City, Will would slink him and Nico away to a store and buy something. Sometimes it would be an oversized T-shirt, other times it would be scrunchies, and one time he even bought a gigantic water bottle. (“It’s called a Hydroflask,” Will told him.)

Will was scary in those moments. His eyes would get big as he eyed all his new items, and his hands would tap furiously on the wooden counters while he waited. Nico wasn’t sure what this meant, but it seemed that Will was going through something. Something terrible. 

And the moment they got back, Will would start immediately sobbing. Nico would literally have to hold him from falling face down on the ground because of how hard he would be weeping. He’d cry, “It’s not happening, it’s not happening! I can’t become VSCO!” 

All Nico was able to do was watch his golden boyfriend sob in his arms, unable to help, unable to understand.

It wasn’t until a late day in November when Nico found out what his boyfriend was hiding from him. Will had been antsy all breakfast, avoiding Nico’s eyes like it was the coronavirus; Nico knew that he wasn’t the only one who noticed - Kayla and Austin had given him furtive, sympathetic glances. Nico’s heart pounded in his chest, anxiety spiking his pulse and chilling him down to the bone. 

Nico couldn’t help but to wonder, Is he going to break up with me? 

Safe to say, his breakfast was ruined, and he pulled just a little away from Will. He didn’t miss the awkward looks he got from Kayla and Austin, nor did he miss Will’s slight flinch at the loss of contact between the boys.

After a silent breakfast, when everyone had left to start their daily activities, Nico stood to go. If Will didn’t want to talk to him, then fine. He’d manage that. 

But a warm hand clamped on his wrist, begging him to stay. Nico turned his face to Will’s, absorbing his golden features and the heavy vulnerability in those blue eyes. It hit Nico that whatever Will wanted from him, it wasn’t going to be good.

Nico sat back down carefully. Will’s pink lips were turned at the corners and, having a closer look at his face, Nico realized his eyes were puffy and red like he’d been crying.

Upon seeing his boyfriend’s expression, Nico reached out and touched Will’s tan face gingerly, brushing his own pale fingers through his golden locks. “Will,” he whispered, “what’s wrong? You’ve been so… so closed off from me. Is everything okay? And don’t lie this time, please. I’m serious.” 

Will opened and closed his mouth, then unlatched his eyes from Nico’s and closed them. He took a deep, shaky breath, as if gearing up for a long and tiring mission. Nico squeezed Will’s right hand - His baby hands, Nico thought ridiculously, all small and cute - and laced them together, squeezing lightly. A “Hey, I’m here for you” squeeze. 

Will turned his focus back on Nico, a small smile lacing the corners of his mouth, but not quite eradicating his internalized pain.

“Nico,” he began, “I… I have an issue.” Will’s freckled cheeks bloomed with bright red blotches and he sheepishly looked away again. 

Anticipation and anxiety gripped Nico like a vice and his breath hitched. “What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to tamper down his growing unease. He didn’t want to make Will feel more nervous than he already did.

Will swallowed, as if he was trying to keep down the words from ever appearing. Nico brushed his pale thumb over Will’s, hoping it would calm him a bit. A beat passed, and Will said, “I have this… demon inside me. It’s a terrible demon. I was possessed as a kid.”

“What?” asked Nico. “A demon? What do you mean?”

Will sighed shakily, his eyes focused on the floor. “It’s called a VSCO demon.” 

“Will…” Nico started, but he wasn’t sure what he would say. I’m sorry? That didn’t seem right, not at this moment. It seemed like Will wasn’t quite looking for pity. Instead, Nico opted to inquire more about this demon: “What exactly does the demon do? How much is it going to impact your life?” 

“Well… actually, it’s going to impact my life a lot. Essentially, it’ sgoing to make me a VSCO girl. You know what that is, right? I explained it to you.”

Nico nodded.

Will continued. “First, it’ll start off with more subtle things, like specific hand spasms.” Will demonstrated what he meant by bringing his right hand to his face and then turning to the side, then frowned. “There’s also some expressions that I might repeat a lot. Like… ‘anna oop-’, or ‘oooh, tea, sis!’ or ‘sksksksk.’” 

Nico watched Will’s expression as he said each phrase and his heart felt like it was being squished. Will looked like he was trying very hard not to let it take over him, let those stupid terms make him into a new person, but he was so exhausted. Nico touched his boyfriend’s face again. “I’m… sorry, Will. That’s terrible.”

Will nodded, but he didn’t seem to hear Nico. “When it gets worse, you’ll start noticing. I’ll be wearing oversized T-shirts, I think… scrunchies on my wrist, maybe.” He sighed again, but this time a small sob escaped from his lips too. When he looked up, Nico saw he had fresh tears glassing over his eyes. “I’m going to be carrying that stupid Hydro Flask with me forever, Nico. Forever.” 

That seemed to do it. In a matter of seconds, the floodgates of Will’s emotions had opened up and he was spilling everywhere. Nico pulled him close, despite not being much of a hugger, and drew small circles on his back. He felt Will’s tears soak through his T-shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he felt so heartbroken by Will’s emotions, he wanted to start crying himself.

But he had to keep it strong, for Will. Nico bit his lip to keep himself from letting out a few tears himself. 

After several moments, Will seemed to calm down enough to pull away from Nico, even though tears still ribboned down his cheeks like liquified crystals. He pulled a tissue from his sweatshirt pocket and blew his nose, honking like he was the goosiest of all geese.

“Anyway,” Will continued, sighing heavily. “I have to tell you something else.” He threw the snot-saturated tissue over his shoulder, where some poor sucker would have to pick it up themself and throw it out. Taking a deep breath (Nico swore he was just trying to steal all the oxygen out of the air now, probably trying to photosynthesize or something), Will pulled Nico’s hands to his chest. “When the demon takes over me, Nico, my alter ego will come out. I will not be able to control it. His name… is Billiam Thabdrew Sksksolace.”

Will paused dramatically, letting that name sink in.

“Oh, Will,” Nico said quietly, throwing his arms around his boyfriend. “Is there a cure to this? Can you fix it?”

Will rested his head in the space between Nico’s neck and shoulder. “No,” he answered, his voice muffled. “There isn’t. I just have to live with being a VSCO girl from now on.” Pulling away so that he was mere inches from Nico’s face, he asked: “Would you still love me, Nico? Even after I become… become Billiam?”

“Of course,” Nico exclaimed, not a moment of hesitation. “Of course! You are more than your stupid demon. You can be as much of a VSCO girl as you become, and I will always love you.”

Will’s face crumpled again and he pulled Nico tighter, so close Nico could almost swear his ribs were going to break. 

“Thank you, Nico. Thank you.” 

~~~

It was only a few weeks until the real changes started showing up. 

When Nico went into the Apollo cabin in the mornings, sometimes he’d see Will in an oversized T-shirt, waving around a metal straw with his baby hands, exclaiming, “OOOH THAT’S TEA!” whenever one of his siblings said something, or referring to himself as Bill Sksksolace when someone called him Will. 

Those spells wouldn’t last long, but it was still discerning. 

As the days progressed, it got worse. The spells wouldn’t last in just the morning - they’d appear in the afternoon, in the night time, and at nine in the afternoon. Nico would walk in on a conversation Will was having with another camper, and just when things seemed like they were going smoothly, Will would mutter: “SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKS.” The camper would look at Will strangely, laugh a little, then leave. 

Nico would have to sit with Will and tell him that it was alright, that it’s just part of the course. He’ll be alright.

Despite the fact that things were getting worse, it didn’t bother Nico too much. He already knew it would happen sooner or later, so there was no point anticipating and being scared over it.

And yet, nothing would prepare him for the gut punch of when it really did happen. 

It was a morning like any other. The sun shone above the camp in brilliant golden rays, and the wind was windy (as wind is) and just perfect for a November day. Nico was hopeful today; maybe they’d go out to New York City, like old times. Try to get Will’s mind off his doomed fate.

Nico had an inkling something was wrong the moment he knocked on the cabin door. Maybe it was the shift in the wind, maybe it was anxiety, or maybe it was the fact that he heard people shouting, “PUT THAT METAL STRAW DOWN, WILL!” that made him nervous. Nevertheless, he waited outside. 

Kayla was the one to open the door. She looked exhausted, like she’d been running after someone all morning. When she realized it was Nico, her expression told Nico everything he needed to know. 

Nico stepped in tentatively, nervous about what he would find. 

And boy did he have every right to be nervous. Nothing could prepare him for what he was about to find.

Will had transformed. Like, completely transformed.

Gone were his golden curls. In place of them was a messy bun at the top of his head, wrapped with a purple scrunchie. If one scrunchie wasn’t enough, he had literal sleeves of them over his arms, all the way up to his elbow, of all kinds of nauseating and headache-inducing colors. On top of that, a knee-length T-shirt covered him from the shoulders to his thighs, and in his small baby hands was a Hydro Flask with a metal straw sticking out of it, which was currently sticking between his teeth.

Upon seeing Nico, his eyes widened and he offered him a bright smile. “Sksksksk!” Will exclaimed. “Oh my gods, it’s literally Nico!” He rushed towards his boyfriend with his arms wide, and just when Nico thought he was about to get a crushing bear hug, Will surprised him last minute by shoving twenty scrunchies into his hands as well as a metal straw. 

Nico looked at the treasure in his hands - Where the everloving fuck did he get so many? thought Nico - then back at Will, and again back at his treasure. Tears pricked at his eyes and his chest constricted, making it harder to breathe. “Will-” he began.

Will looked genuinely confused. “Who’s Will? I’m Billiam Sksksolace. And that’s the tea here today.”

“Right. Billiam.” Even saying the new name hurt him in ways Nico didn’t even think were imaginable. He placed a hand on Will’s - No, Bill’s, Nico reminded himself - cheek, tracing his lover’s freckles. “How are you feeling?”

“Anna oop-” Billiam said. “I feel fine, sksksk. Why?” He raised his eyebrows and leaned in, tilting his head for a second. “Is there tea?” 

Nico sobbed, his heart wrenching. Where was Will? “No, not at all.” He kissed Bill’s face. “Not at all.”

20 YEARS LATER…

Nico had successfully gone crazy.

He and Billiam had three kids. Each one blond. Each one young.

Each one just as VSCO as their dad. 

It was an endless cycle of “SKSKSKS” and “ANNA OOP-” and they had about fifty thousand metal straws strewn around their house. Their kids didn’t even wear pants anymore, just oversized T-shirts. They didn’t even have the demon - it was a Monkey See, Monkey Do situation. 

And Nico was done. He’d even developed a twitch in his eye. From the moment he got up in the morning to the moment he fell asleep at night, his mind swirled with unwanted expressions and metal straws in his eyes and Hydro Flasks on the table and oversized T-shirts strewn across the bed and he was positively done.

There was only one thing left to do. 

Nico grabbed the knife from the kitchen drawer. Then he turned to the onions on the cutting board and started chopping with rage. (It was his turn to make dinner tonight, and he hated every moment of it.)

But he had something to look forward to, and he had everything ready. 

Bill was home from work now, sitting in the living room and scrolling through Instagram. Nico watched him, thinking about that fatal day several years ago at Camp Half-Blood when everything had gone wrong for him. 

Well, Nico would fix that today.

“Bill,” Nico called, gritting his teeth. Calling his beloved William “Bill” still stung him, despite it having been years later. “It’s time for dinner. Call the kids.”

Bill stood from the couch and fixed his messy bun, then called, “Billiam, Jr.! Litpollo! Percy, Jr.! Time for dinner! Sksksk.” 

Nico made his way down the hall and opened the garage door, crying out to his pet hyena: “BAMBI! Come on, boy. Time for your yummy chinken dinner.”

Bambi growled and bounded into the building, turning towards the kids that had now come into the dining room. Bill eyed the oversized cat with scrutiny. “Bae, I think we need to tame that thing.”

Nico turned his head to look at his hyena. He shrugged. “Seems fine to me.”

“He’s gnawing on our child’s head.”

Nico eyed his kitty, who had its jaws around their child Litpollo’s head. “No he isn't,” Nico decided. “It’s just licking Litpollo's head. Litpollo just has a really tiny head.” 

Bill opened his mouth to protest, but Nico clapped his hands and exclaimed: “Time for dinner!” He offered Bill a dazzling smile. “And I have a surprise for you.”

Bill’s eyes widened and a smile of his own flashed across his face. “Sksksk. I’m excited. Yass queen.”

Nico’s eye twitched. “Yes, time for dinner.”

The family of five (including Bambi the Hyena, it was six) sat at the dinner table. (Yes, Bambi sat at a dinner table. Nico considered that quite domestic of Bambi). 

“Now, before we start, I have a little something for Bill.” Nico stood again and pulled out something from his pocket. Bill leaned in to look at it, and realization dawned on him. He hissed and jumped up from his chair. 

“Skskskskskkssksksksk!” he exclaimed. “That’s a cross. Why do you have that?” Just being in the presence of it seemed to make him antsy.

Nico offered him a dangerous smile. “Well, you see, Billiam, I became a priest online. I have a certificate and everything.” He tilted his head innocently and, with that smile still plastered onto his face, said, “I am here to eradicate the Demon of VSCO.” 

“No,” Bill said shakily, but his voice had changed. It was rougher, scratchier, a voice he wouldn’t have on any other normal day. “No, you can’t. You’ve been going behind my back this entire time? How dare you.” 

“I’m here to save you, Bill. Or should I say… William.”

“NO!” Bill screeched, picking up Litpollo and shielding his face with the child. “I REFUSE! SKSKSK!”

Nico only smiled wider, his dark eyes shining with fearsome mirth. Suddenly, the lights flickered on and off and a harsh wind blew across the room. Outside, clouds started gathering like they were ready for a shitshow to happen. Nico rose from the floor, the wind carrying his weight like he was lighter than paper. He held out the cross in front of him, showing it to Bill’s VSCO demon. Bill hissed, and his eyes starting glowing bright yellow, clearly aggravated by the cross. He dropped the child, who squeaked and ran off to eat his dry chinken dinner.

Nico’s own eyes had started glowing, but his were a bright red flash like he was about to shoot lasers. “BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME,” Nico exclaimed, his voice projecting outward and all around the house, “I PRONOUNCE THEE, VSCO DEMON, GONE.”

Nico slammed the cross against Bill’s chest, making steam circle and sizzle around Bill’s chest. The blond cried out in pain, but Nico ignored him. 

“BEGONE, THOT!” Nico thundered.

A big bang resonated between them, and Nico and Bill were both thrown across the room. Their children screamed, but all Nico could think about was Bill and whether or not he was back. Despite being disoriented, he sat upright and looked across the room. Billiam was thrown to the kitchen, and his messy bun had come undone. The scrunchies on his wrists were hissing and smoking, but otherwise he looked fine. 

Nico stood up slowly, keeping his hand on the wall for balance. “Will?” he said quietly. It was strange using that name after so many years, but it felt good. It felt comfortable.

Bill didn’t answer. Nico’s heart started racing.

He rushed to Bill’s side, checking his pulse and touching his face, making sure was alive. When he decided that he was alright, Nico let out a breath of relief. He shook Bill gently. “Will? Will, please, wake up. Tell me you’re okay.”

For a moment, all was silent. Nico’s children had even stopped screaming, but Nico wasn’t sure where they were or what they were doing. Right now, it was only about Billiam. 

Suddenly, Bill started coughing. He sat up a little straighter and coughed into his arm, and Nico patted is back in means of helping his partner. Bill stopped after a few moments, but his focus was only on the kitchen tiles.

Nico’s heart pounded in anticipation. Was Billiam gone? Was Will back? Goosebumps prickled his skin. 

“Will?” Nico asked. “Are you okay?”

Bill started laughing. Nico wanted to take this as a good sign, but the laughter seemed eerie. He took Bill’s baby hand in his.

Bill turned to face him, a wide grin on his face. “YOU FOOL!” he exclaimed. “YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID?”

Nico gasped and threw himself away from Bill, shaking his head. “No,” he whispered. “No. It should have worked! I went onto Wikipedia for the instructions!”

Bill only laughed harder. “YOU DIPSHIT! YOU MULTIPLIED ME!” His eyes danced with his laughter.

“Multiplied?” Nico exclaimed. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” He frowned. “Also, no swearing in front of the kids. Watch your fucking language, asshole.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Bill exclaimed. “MY CHILDREN,” he called, turning his face away from Nico’s. “COME!”

From the dining room, the children’s small feet pitter-pattered across the floor. Rage filled Nico’s chest, and he tackled Bill to the ground. “VSCO DEMON!” he cried. “What did you do to them? If you hurt them-”

“I did no such thing,” Bill said. “I would never hurt them.”

“Then what did you do?”

In creepy unison, all his kids exclaimed: “SKSKSK! I’VE GIVEN THEM ALL A PIECE OF ME! NOW I EXIST IN ALL OF YOUR FAMILY AND LOVED ONES!”

“NOOOOO!” Nico cried. “WHY?”

“Children,” Bill said, “what do we say to Nico?”

“SAVE THE TURTLES!” And they all took off their oversized T-shirts and threw them in his face.

The end. Nico sobbed forever.

[trashcanwrites]

Captains! Break Up Headcanons

► Sawamura Daichi, Bokuto Koutaro, Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsuroo with Gn!Reader

▸ 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀!: Angst✨

♚ This took me ages to write lmao but I’m planning on making more of these with the other captains and vball members! I got too carried away with the Bokuto one •́ ‿ ,•̀ Hope you guys like it!! 💖

“We need to talk”

“Meet me at the park at 3”

“Sure”

Over the past few weeks you and Daichi’s relationship has been in a tight spot. Daichi barely having time for you because of volleyball and him going to cram school and such.

You, not having time for him either because of you preparing to move soon for college at the end of the school year.

You see Daichi, at the park sitting by the benches, waiting for you, looking a little worried, making you feel guilty for what you came there to tell him.

You walked up to him and took a seat next to him, exchanging pleasantries as an air of awkwardness surrounds the both of you.

“So, I’ve been thinking…”

“I think we should break up.”

Daichi flinched, he expected this to happen but even so, he still couldn’t prepare himself enough to hear it.

It pained him to let go of this relationship both of you built together.

But he eventually had to let go of it someday… Relationships don’t last forever after all.

He took a deep breath to compose himself and gave a nod in understanding

“Okay, if that’s what you want…”

You didn’t expect him to accept it so easily, then again you wouldn’t expect him to beg to stay together either.

“You know I still love you right?”

You told him, your voice quivering, as your eyes became glossy.

“I know…” Daichi reassured you his voice low, as his had reached out to grab yours.

His hand much bigger than yours, his were also littered with familar calluses and yours is softer in comparison.

You both stayed silent as the two of you basked in each other’s presence, knowing this was the last moment you would share together as a couple.

After the break up Daichi seemed fine.

He’s acting like his usual self, like the ordeal didn’t affect him at all

And that exactly what worried the team, especially the third years. They would always approach him and ask if he was okay and to that he would answer “I’m okay, really”

When in reality Daichi has been felling heartbroken ever since the recent event, thoughts of what he could have done better to save your relationship flood his mind, internally beating himself up for letting you go so easily.

But what more can he do than to just accept your decision and move on?

He had to be strong for the team, he had to show them that their captain can handle all this agony.

At home he would distract himself from the thought of you by studying but… flashbacks of the study dates you both used to have in his room would surface in his mind.

The laughs and the playful fights you two had, once good memories, would now cause his heart to twinge. 

In the end he gave up trying and he just thought that he’ll get over you eventually.

You both have part ways already, he can’t do anything but just accept it and move on.

You’ve lost interest in Bokuto.

It’s been a couple of weeks since you’ve realized.

You had been in this relationship for about a year or so, the cuddles, the kisses and the moments you two would have hasn’t felt the same as before.

It felt like empty actions to you. It’s not that Bokuto hasn’t given enough in the relationship ‘cuz believe me he has.

Once he even went out of his way to throw a gigantic party for your birthday, he would apologise to you when he’s done something to upset you and he would always, I mean always make time for you.

You’ve just simply lost all interest.

You hadn’t told Bokuto yet because you were afraid of how he’d react, knowing him he probably wouldn’t take it well.

But telling him how you feel is better than dragging the situation out and being dishonest.

You wouldn’t want to make it a big issue and hurt him a whole lot more than it was supposed to.

So you call him. Told him that after practice you’d like to see him.

“Hey, Kou? Can we meet after school tommorow? I mean if you don’t have practice, if you do though I can wait.”

“Anything for you, babe! I don’t have practice today so I’ll be early!” His voice through the other side of the phone was as cheerful as ever. Not knowing what was to come next…

“Great. Meet me at the school gates.”

The wait was long, as dusk came. Practice was about to be over and you prepared yourself what’s to come.

“HEY HEY HEY!”

Bokuto’s loud voiced disturbing the peace and making you jolt.

His was walking towards you, as the closer he got to you the more on edge your nerves were.

He was infront of you now, gazing at you with a big bright smile on his face.

God did that innocent smile of his made you feel bad

You grabbed his arm and pulled him to a more secluded place, away from crowd of students swarming the gates of the school.

“Kou, I’m sorry for doing this now but, I have to I don’t wanna lie to you anymore”

“Wha? What are you lying to me about?”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

With those words, you could hear Bokuto’s heart shatter into pieces as the phrase repeated over and over in his head.

“I’m sorry” You whisper to him, as he stood there, stiff as a statue.

“I’m so sorry, Kou” you gave him a hug, thinking it would make everything better.

Sniffles could be heard leaving his mouth as he hugged you back, savoring this moment because it’d become the last thing you experience together.

“I’m breaking up with you”

“Why?” He asked, wanting an explanation as to what he did wrong.

“It’s just that you seem like you don’t gave enough time for a relationship… I’d rather you focus on your passion right now. ”

In other words ‘Your too obsessed with volleyball, you don’t have enough time for us’

Oikawa Tooru is familiar with these words, it was always the excuse to break up with after all, the effect that it had on him dulled out with every partner he’s had. He’d rather focus on volleyball instead.

But this time it was different. The moment he heard those words come out of your mouth, he couldn’t help but feel his heart break.

Why is that the same old excuse had a different effect when it came to you??

It’s probably because Oikawa has loved you more than he’s loved any of his other partners, and he still does.

“Y/n please, don’t leave me. I’ll do better I promise” he begged, he was desperate not to lose you. You were way too important for him to let go.

“No, Tooru,” You put your hands on his shoulders for reassurance “I want you to focus more on volleyball. We can still be friends though.”

Those were the last words you uttered to him after you left him.

After the break up Oikawa was often seen spacing out or would sometimes become hostile towards others.

Whenever someone pointed it out to him he would just smile, scratch his nape and say “I had a bad day that’s all!”

The break up affected him to the point where Iwaizumi had to step in and show concern for Oikawa, giving him advice and listening to him ramble.

During breaks a school he would see you by the corridors talking to your friends, a bright smile on your face.

As if the break up never affected you at all.

And that fact hurt him, a lot

He would actively try to avoid you whenever he did see you though, both of you being in the same class didn’t help his situation.

The sight of you smiling and talking to everyone made his heart ache.

You look so happy, it’s a shame he wasn’t the reason why.

You would come up to him and try to talk to him from time to time but he would always give you short responses, not enough to make a conversation.

It made him feel bad that he would do that to you but, he just didn’t want you to be near him for the time being and see how much of a mess he is.

Even though he was in misery due to what happened, he still manages to put on his cheerful facade.

When he’s home however that facade breaks, he would often be seen cooped up in his room, his expression blank as he lay on his bed, as thoughts fill his head with regret and despair.

“You dumbass, how could you just let go of someone so important…?”

Were the words the came out of his lips, as a tear streamed down his face.

You and Kuroo had been fighting a lot recently…

It’s to the point where the arguments would get so overwhelming that one of you storms away in the heat of the moment, not wanting to deal with the situation in the state that the both of you were in.

Today was one of those days again, apparently…

You had ran out of Kuroo’s house wanting to cool down from the quarrel that the both of you were having. The reason for it this time was that Kuroo couldn’t make it to the date, again.

This was the fourth time he’s missed a date, his excuse this time was that practice had gone late today, so he couldn’t go…

You understood that he was busy but for his schedule to overlap with the date that you two had planned a week before and for it to happen for four consecutive times…

To make matters worse it was your one year anniversary date…

And he promised you that he would make it this time. Unfortunately, he didn’t.

You didn’t want to think of it but, you were considering breaking up with him. It was for the best though.

The constant fighting and emotional baggage that came with it was too much for you to handle, you weren’t prepared enough to deal with it…

You’re now currently at home bawling your eyes out on the sofa, as you were reminded of the dispute you and Kuroo had, causing new tears to brim in your eyes.

The thought of breaking up with Kuroo swarm your head, although hesitant you wanted to go through with it, you figured that the two of you aren’t ready for a relationship yet.

Even though the both of you have lasted for over a year…

The loud sound of a doorbell ring interrupted you thoughts, as you hurried to the door and composed yourself, your eyes still red but you tried to hide it the best you could.

You opened the door, only to be surprised by the person behind it, it was none other than your boyfriend, Kuroo.

“Hey…”

“Look, Tetsu, we need to talk.” I said my voice raspy from all the crying, yet stern enough for him to understand that this is serious.

He gave a nod to tell you he was listening, you guided him to the living room to sit, if you were gonna break up you wanted it to be a proper one.

The both of you sat across from each other, your face still a mess from all the sobbing you did.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Kuroo’s voice sounding worried.

“I… I want to break up”

He nodded “I understand, it’s fine…”

Even though it hurt Kuroo to do so, he just knew that staying in a relationship like this wasn’t good for either of your health.

Kuroo stood up from the chair he was sitting in to come and approach you, a hand reached behind his back, a rose hidden behind him now presented to you.

“I was supposed to give this to you on our anniversary, but now I guess there’s no use now,,, I’m sorry Y/n.”

Those were what he last said to you as he left your house, not knowing when you’ll see him again.

[charming-2d-boys]

I always seem to find myself coming and checking your blog everyday for any new posts, cuz your writing is so amazing sksjdj—💜💜💜 If it's not too much trouble, could I possibly request Hisoka with a fem werewolf s/o? Maybe she's been hiding the fact that she's a werewolf from him and he eventually found out?

Awwww, thank you so much! I'm glad you like what I write 😄

And now we have something supernatural too? 😶

And with Hisoka? 😮

Anon, thank you, truly! I can't wait to write this! 😍

Warning: pretty long

A/N: I’ve read about werewolves’ characteristics and ways of transforming, so if you see anything that doesn’t really fit with what you know, this is why

No secrets - Hisoka x Werewolf!Reader

   You really didn’t for things to go this far. You thought that this relationship would be something temporary, that Hisoka would eventually get bored of you or you’d get too tired of his games. But things didn’t really seem to go south, except for those pretty rare moments. Instead, you’d found yourself in a relationship that managed to last for more than a year. And Hisoka was actually okay with it and you were both happy.

   And somehow, you had managed to hide your true nature from your boyfriend. You always told him that your job required you to leave for somewhere around 3 days - before, during and after the full moon - and it was always a secret place. Yes, Hisoka was curious and asked you where you were working and what you were even doing that required this, but you told him that even this was classified. He wanted to find out and was very close to using all of his connections just to satisfy his curiosity, but that would’ve meant breaking your trust in him and he couldn’t risk that.

   You knew that if the relationship kept getting more serious, you'd have to tell Hisoka since you didn't want to lie to him, especially about something so important. But it was so hard to talk about something like this. Most people would think you were crazy, but you were even more terrified of how Hisoka would react to the news. His girlfriend, a werewolf. It sounded crazy even to you.

   But you had been dealing with this ever since you were a kid - family curse, from the little knowledge your parents knew - and all of it because of some stupid ancestor who thought it would fun to screw around with a witch and break her heart, only for her to retaliate by cursing him.

   You had tried pretty much everything out there that would supposedly cure your lycanthropy, but so far, nothing had seemed to work. You just wanted to be normal, continue living your life and have your quirky, but adventurous and passionate relationship with Hisoka. Was it too much to ask for?

   "Earth to (Y/N)~ ♦️ What’s keeping you so busy in your mind? ♠️" Your boyfriend poked your forehead playfully, a teasing smile gracing your eyes as soon as you looked up at him from where you were sitting down on the couch.

   "Oh, sorry. Just thinking about stuff. Did you need anything?"

   "Hmm, just wondering if you want to go somewhere this weekend? I don't have anything to do until the middle of next week. ♥️" Your boyfriend was hopeful that you'd say yes. You'd had to reschedule several dates because of your "job" and it was honestly making it harder and harder for Hisoka to keep his curiosity at bay.

   “Oh, umm, I don’t... think I can.” Your voice was sheepish and you actually felt bad. The full moon was going to happen on Saturday and you couldn’t risk it. You spotted Hisoka’s shoulders sagging slightly in disappointment, but his face kept its playful smile. God, you felt awful. If only it wasn’t so dangerous for him - despite knowing how strong he was - you would’ve caved in and stayed with him until he got sick of you.

   “Job again? ♠️” You could only nod, your eyes boring holes into the ground, before he smiled wider and left towards the bathroom, telling you he’d go and take a shower. You sighed in defeat and held your head in your hands, trying to think of ways to make it up to him. You knew that what you were doing was unfair to Hisoka and you felt so guilty from constantly having to lie to him that you were actually shocked that the relationship still seemed to be going so well. You could only wonder if it would last, though.

   On Friday morning, you were hauling your packed bag to your car, Hisoka trailing behind you as his hands were in his pockets, golden eyes watching you closely. You closed the car door before turning towards your boyfriend, smiling at his tousled hair and casual, comfy clothes that he wore at home. There was a little smile on his face at the sight of yours and he only smiled wider when you hugged him tight, kissing his cheek before pulling him into you so you could place a kiss on his lips as well. His arms were already around you, relaxed and content to have you so close to you. Hisoka only wanted to have you right there with him. But he’d already made up his mind: this was the last time something like this was happening.

   “I’ll miss you, but I’ll be back on Monday. I love you, Hisoka.” You hugged him tightly and felt him hug you back, with him swinging your body around from side to side slowly.

   “Me too~ ♥️” His lips pecked the side of your head before he let you go and watched as you pulled out of your parking spot and left, waving at him one last time.

   The usual road to the little cabin you’d been staying in during every full moon for, all those years, was clear of any traffic and only seemed to go deeper into the forest and away from civilization with every passing moment. It had been bought by your parents years before and given to you especially. By the time you got there, it was already night and you took your bag inside before unpacking everything.

   The place was clean, save for a very thin layer of dust on pretty much every surface of furniture. You’d imagined that since you’d have to come here so often, the place might as well be kept clean, nice and cosy. By now, it almost felt like a home away from home. If only you weren’t alone here, it would’ve been great. But you couldn’t risk Hisoka getting hurt because of you, or anyone else for that matter. Which is why you were so far away from anything and anyone.

   Despite keeping most of your sanity during those nights, you could become unpredictable sometimes, though you recovered quickly, and you were scared of what you could be capable of. And the thought of not remembering what had happened the night before because of this was one of your biggest fears. When morning came, you were always happy to have all of the memories about what you’d done and where you’d been. You had never lost control and had only heard stories about some of your ancestors and relatives, but it was sickening nevertheless.

   You made yourself comfortable and prepared dinner before sitting down and watching some TV. The fireplace kept everything warm and you actually felt yourself relax, trying to prolong the feeling for as long as you could before the full moon the next day would arrive. You actually spent some time reading and relaxing, fully taking advantage of your alone time before you’d have to leave again. Going to sleep without Hisoka to keep you warm and safe was a little hard to do, but you eventually managed to fall asleep.

   The next day was spent gathering more firewood and checking your supplies before restocking for the next month. You always brought just enough and a bit more, just in case. The rest of your remaining time was spent doing pretty much anything you could while the feeling of dread was slowly making itself more present in your body and mind. You were used to it, but at the same time, it still made you anxious and scared. The upcoming moon’s influence already made you fidgety and you constantly glanced at the clock, counting down the hours.

   You slowly felt it and before you knew it, you were already shedding your clothes, feeling your skin almost boiling with heat before you stepped outside. The transformation was always painful. The bones cracking and almost feeling like breaking as your body elongated; the feeling of fur breaking through the skin as it covered every bit of available skin; the ears growing atop your head and your face changing to look like that of a wolf. It was a quick, but almost unbearably painful process.

   By the time you opened your eyes, the moon was full and bright, not yet high in the sky but already prominent. Your senses heightened and you could feel and hear someone nearby, watching you attentively. Your eyes were sharp as they turned towards the source of your discomfort and you took a few steps closer, growling to show whoever was there that you were ready to pounce if they were a threat.

   “(Y/N), it’s me. ♣” You stopped dead in your tracks at the sound of Hisoka’s voice. You could only watch in something between shock and fear as he appeared from the treeline, slowly walking towards you. He didn’t look scared, not really, but he was still slightly shocked, you could clearly see it on his face. “Do you remember me, lovely? ♥️️” You only nodded, letting your arms drop to your sides, no longer feeling threatened.

   “Are you okay? You’re not going to eat me, will you? ♦️” He asked playfully and if you could, you would’ve laughed. Instead you shook your head, sitting down on the ground as Hisoka did the same and stood in front you. “Can you talk? ♠️” Another headshake. “I want to talk about this when you’re back to normal, okay, lovely? ♥️️” Again, you nodded.

   You stayed for a few minutes in silence before Hisoka got up, making you look at him questioningly.

   “Now then...” If he asked you to fight him, you swore you were going to rip him a new one. And you were sure Machi wouldn’t be able to help him. “How about we go for a walk? Maybe show me how this whole process changes you~ ♠️” You guessed you could do that. Your sharp claws and fangs could certainly do some damage and the fact that your speed had increased, as well as your senses heightening definitely made Hisoka curious about those new changes. And that’s how you spent the entire night, going through the vast forest with Hisoka in tow: showing him what you could do, “answering” to his yes or no questions and howling when your jerk of a boyfriend did it, triggering you to do the same. You could only growl at him, but it was all bark and no bite.

   When the moon was waning and the sun’s light was slowly starting to light up the sky, you both started walking back towards the cabin, Hisoka going inside to bring you a blanket. Going back to being a human was, weirdly, a lot less painful, but it left you exhausted, hence why Hisoka quickly wrapped you up and carried you inside where the fire had made everything toasty. You quickly pulled some clothes on before your boyfriend laid on the large couch with you, hugging you to his chest and with the blanket wrapped tightly around you to warm you up.

   “I’m sorry I lied to you. I was scared.” You said quietly, glancing at him. You meant it and you hoped he could sense it. Hisoka only looked at you, searching your face. He could understand, somewhat, but you still needed to have a lengthy talk, something you were both aware of.

   “We’ll talk later about this. Now we should sleep. Okay, lovely? ♥️️” Hisoka’s voice was quiet as his knuckles ran over your cheek. “I’m not leaving that easily, just so you know~ ♦️” His lips touched your forehead briefly before he pulled you into his body and warmth, finally feeling safe as you both fell asleep. You were sure that things would turn out well in the end.

[agoracactus]

Pt4.5 - the village of Blatta

this is a short (hopefully) story happened before you met Jaskier.

cuz i forgot to write this segment. and cuz im too busy to finish my long chapters in a week, and didnt wanna keep ppl waiting, if theres ppl waiting (hopefully lmao)

Pt.1  Pt.2  Pt.3  Pt.4

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x reader

Word Count: 1931

Warnings: lack of proofread, language, blood, death

Summary: im giving up on this part completely, names and summary, my two nemesis

§

You sat at the edge of the bed, staring at your feet, having a silent debation inside your head.

“You’re up?” Geralt pushed open the door, saw you sitting at the bed, “Good, it’s getting late, we should keep moving.” “Oh, ok.” you nodded, stood up to grab your bag.

You came across this nice little village last night, and everyone was surprisingly friendly and welcoming. People invited you to their house and share food with you. Some even offered you their beds so you can have a good rest. To be honest the hospitality scared you a little, you were used to people being mean for you’re traveling with a witcher.

Walking out of this shabby wooden house, the sun was warm and bright. Couple of folks greeted you with a smile. The village looked busy, people were walking around preparing for something looked like an event, excitement floating in the air. You returned the greetings, feeling flattered.

“Oh! You are leaving?” a woman was holding a basket full of dead chicken under her arm, blood seeped through the woven basket and dripped to the ground. “What a pity! The festival is around the corner, you should stay! We love having guests! There’s going to be a feast!” You sneaked a glance towards Geralt, he seemed to have no interest at all in this feast, “Thank you for the kind offer, but we need to go now.” you tried to be as polite as you can. Not every day you get to meet someone who’s nice to you.

“Hey, um, maybe we should consider staying for a few more days?” you suggested, watching Geralt handed out an apple to Roach. “No, we need to head south, that’s what the contract said.” “Yeahhh but, it’s a feast! Feast means food!” you tried to persuade him, “We could use some free food! People here are nice- How many times did you actually receive a warm welcoming from others?” “You can stay all you want, I have a job to do.” he gave you a stern look.

You bit your lower lip, looked back over your shoulder at the small village.

“You know what, maybe I should.” you finally made your decision, “I’m staying.” Geralt stopped to look at you, didn’t understand what you were up to this time. “I’ve been thinking about this for, quite a while now... Now that we came across a lovely place, people here are friendly and welcoming... Maybe it’s time that we part ways.”

He didn’t reply.

You couldn’t tell how he felt about this.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like traveling with you... It was fun, the adventures... And you were nice to me... But I feel like you’d rather travel alone- I mean, I get it, I’m just a weak-ass human girl, who is better stay behind when you hunt instead of getting in your way... And sometimes I get you- us- into trouble-” you realized you started babbling, so you stopped to take a breath in. “What I’m trying to say is, you are such a nice person that you probably don’t even notice that I’m just taking advantage of you... And I don’t want that. So I’m breaking this little group up. For our best interests.”

“Very well.” he untied Roach’s rein. “...That’s it?” you frowned, “You’re not gonna say something?” “I said ‘very well’.” “...” you rolled your eyes behind his back, “...Well, I guess that’s it then?” “Mmm.” Geralt hopped onto Roach. “It was nice meeting you, witcher.” “You too.” he nodded his head. “Take care, ok?” “Farewell, y/n.”

§

“Have some soup sir, it shall warm you up.” the merchant handed the witcher a wooden bowl. The witcher thanked him. Everything was quiet except for the slight crackling from the fire.

“Where are you from?” “Sodden, sir.” “You’re going north?” “Kovir, got some business to do there.” “Still got a long way then? There’s a small village on the way to replenish if you follow along this way.” “Small village? The village of Blatta? No sir! No one should ever go anywhere near that place, especially during this time of the year.” “Why?” “Those who travel frequently on this path all know the village of Blatta. It’s the village of worshipers of the Dark Lord. They hold a grand festival in name of their vicious god every year around this season, using the blood of their livestock to attract monsters, making sacrifices of children and young women and any outsiders who happened to come across their way and call that a ‘cleanse’- Where are you going sir? It’s not safe to travel in these woods at night- Sir!”

§

He was late when he arrived at the village.

There was no light in any of the houses, all the doors and shutters were closed. The pungent smell of blood was drowning him. Several dark shadows were squatting around, he could hear the sound of munching, slurping and the nasty noise coming from their throat. He took out a small tube, uncork it with his teeth, drank it all up and jumped off of Roach. He took a few steps forward with the momentum, took out his sword and carefully approached.

The faint light from the moon was not a problem to his witcher eyes, he slowly walked closer to the necrophages, formed a sign with his fingers. Flame bursted out from his hand. The monsters screamed and ran away into the woods.

The witcher looked down. All the bodies had their wrists and ankles tied up, dried animal blood mixed with their own congealed in their hair. It seemed like the villagers poured the blood of their livestock onto these poor lives and left them here to be devoured by the necrophages.

To his relief, he didn’t see anyone resembling your feature.

He heard something inside the house. He turned and saw pairs of eyes peeking through the crack of the shutters. The witcher felt anger quietly rising within him. He held tight to his sword, picked up his pace to follow the trace of the monsters into the forest.

§

You were hurt, you couldn't tell where exactly you were hurt due to the burning sensation spreading across your torso. But you didn’t dare to slow down.

You tripped against a rock and fell hard to the ground. The pistol in your hand almost misfired with your finger held tight against it. You tried to get up, but your limbs were weak from the pain.

All you could hear was your heartbeat and heavy panting.

You thought you lost them. The monsters. But you couldn’t lose the sight of the screaming children. You shook your head to get rid of the image before it brought up more traumatizing memory, and struggled to get up.

You knew you were lost in this forest, every direction looked the same, and the dim light of the crescent moon was not helping. You wiped your forehead with the back of your hand, felt the moisture there which you couldn’t tell if its sweat or blood. You took a few deep breaths to steady your heart and picked a random direction, quietly walked towards that way, praying to whoever’s out there this is not the way back to that horrific village.

§

The witcher was panting heavily. Standing in the middle of a pit which was full of the bodies of the creatures he just slew, on a bed of human bones and pieces of cloths. The stench of rotten flesh and the necrophage was piercing through his nose to his brain, but he didn’t move. He just stood there, eyes glancing around frantically around the once-monster-nest.

There was a snap of the twig behind him, sounded like thunder in this deadly silent woods. He turned around sharply, wielding his sword, ready to strike out.

You were at the edge of the pit, eyes wide, face pale as a sheet. He saw cuts above your eyebrow and on your arms and legs, and smelled dirt mixed with blood and sweat.

“Oh my god...” you said under your breath, staring at him. He realized what he looked like now, under the influence of his potion. He instinctively turned his face away.

“Geralt...” you jumped down the pit, ran to him with effort, and threw your arms around him. Geralt stiffened. “Are you hurt?” you quickly released him, pulled back to look at his face, then gave a quick scan down his body--- but you couldn’t tell with the limited moonlight, so your eyes shot right back at his face, “Geralt?” “...No.” he stared right back at you, and didn’t see what he was expecting in your eyes.

“...I’m so glad I found you...” you hugged him again. He now realized you were trembling. He put his hand on your back, “You’re safe now.” You nodded against his leather armor, didn’t care it smelled like shit.

You released him once more, “Let’s get out of this hell hole shall we?” trying to make a joke, but failed with your now shaking, choked voice. He nodded, sheathing his sword, “Maybe next time find a better village?” You let out a nervous laugh, took his forearm to climbed out of the pit.

[chelsfic]

Accident Forgiveness - Part 2 - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part One | Masterlist

A/N: Part two!! This is so very fun to write. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to @sabinemorans​ for listening to me talk about it! Reader gets a nickname in this one, because I can’t deal with Y/N.

Summary: Your wrist is finally healed after your run-in with a certain brooding freight train. You score a great deal on an adorable little motorbike and fix it up with your dad. All you want is a nice Sunday ride...what could go wrong?

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, automobile accidents...

---

The bike calls to you. It’s leaning up against a garage with a hand-written “For Sale” sign on it. It looks old, rusted, and well-used. Considering the low price scrawled on the sign you’re betting it needs some work.

You need it.

You pull out your phone and open your frequent contacts.

“Hey dad? How would you feel about coming down to the city with your pick-up this weekend?”

Your dad’s gruff voice rumbles over the line, “Sounds awful. When and where?”

---

You spend the weekend at your dad’s place in White Plains, fixing up the bike in the garage. Under the layers of rust and grime, it turns out to be a 2001 Honda Super Cub. Beyond a tune up and an oil change, the only thing really wrong with it is the body. Nothing a fresh coat of paint can’t fix. 

“This is a nice little bike, kiddo,” your dad congratulates you, wiping grease and sweat from his brow with an old rag. “You gonna keep it here or ride it around the city?”

You’re perched on a tall stool at your dad’s workbench, your short legs dangling as you consider, “It’d be fun to have it with me in the city on the weekends. I just gotta convince my landlord to let me keep it in his storage shed...I don’t want to leave it on the street…”

You hop off the stool to run your hand over the motorcycle’s refinished body. You’ve painted it in a sleek two-tone pattern: red and cream. Hawkguy is going to be so jealous.

“I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

---

“Nah,” Clint waves you off as he unlocks the door to his apartment. You’ve been lurking out in the hallway waiting for him to get home. 

“What do you mean, ‘nah’?” you whine, following him inside without asking. Pizza Dog jumps up to greet you, nearly knocking you down in his enthusiasm. You smile and give him a quick hug before starting again. “You still owe me, Barton!”

Clint’s head has disappeared into the refrigerator and he emerges with a Chinese food box and his mouth already stuffed with lo mein.

“Wahhh doo eein?!” he chews his food, swallowing and trying again, “Whadya mean? I threw you an apology party, didn’t I? You know how long it’ll take me to clean out that shed to fit a motorcycle inside?”

“C’mon, Clint! If I leave it on the street it’ll get stolen. Or it’ll end up collateral damage in one of your little superhero battles,” you wheedle. You walk into the kitchenette and grab his arm, looking up at him with your biggest puppy dog eyes, “C’monnnn!”

Clint sighs dramatically and finally gives in.

“On one condition...”

---

The bike struggles to reach 30 miles per hour under your combined weight and Clint’s massive form looks ridiculous clinging to you on the back of the little motor bike. But you have to admit--this is pretty damn fun. 

“Weee!” Clint yells from behind you as you putter through the streets of Brooklyn with a giant smile on your face.

---

People are passing you and giving you dirty looks as you make your way over the Brooklyn Bridge. Well, futz them. You’re enjoying your Sunday afternoon ride. You feel like a real rebel without a cause in your worn leather jacket and the bulbous, cherry red helmet you bought to match your bike. Nobody needs to know the saddle bag strapped to the back is full of library books and a take-out container from your favorite bakery.

The sun is just getting low and it’s orange-red glow reflects on the surface of the East River as you chug along. The sounds of car engines and the occasional curse from an annoyed motorist are suddenly interrupted by a long, deafening screech. You glance over your shoulder and your eyes widen in alarm as a black SUV barrels through traffic, heedlessly colliding with other vehicles as it clears a path over the bridge. 

“HOLY SH--”

The SUV screams past and you barely have time to process what you’re seeing before you’re suddenly, brutally thrown from your bike. You tuck your limbs into your body and slam into the cement with enough force to knock the wind out of you. You roll several feet before skidding to a stop. The leather jacket mostly saves you from road rash but your hands are a bloody mess and it feels like your whole middle is one big bruise. What the fuck was that? It felt almost like someone pushed you off but that’s--

You look up just in time to see your bike zooming--well, doing it’s best to zoom--away with a dark figure riding it.

Oh, hell no!

---

The red-wigged impostor is in handcuffs and leaning against the side of the SUV with a surly expression. Bucky glares at the woman, clearly connected with the Red Room and attempting to frame Natasha for the string of murders she committed over the last week.

“Don’t feel like talking, huh?” he shrugs, removing a knife from his belt and flipping it expertly in his hand. “Don’t worry, mladshaya sestra...I’ll help you find the words.”

The woman refuses to meet his eyes, fixing her gaze in the middle distance instead. Only the faintest sneer curling her lips indicates that she’s heard him at all.

Sam lands gracefully a few feet away and is already talking into his ear piece to call in backup. 

“Lotta damage, here,” he states, glancing around at the crashed cars and the wrecked motorcycle. “You’re almost as bad as Banner, Buck. Think you can manage one mission without smashing something?”

“Hey, I captured the target, didn’t I?” Bucky rolls his eyes and slips the knife back into his belt holster. 

Clint finally arrives, huffing and puffing after trying to keep up with the super soldier. He’s bent almost double, catching his breath, when his eyes light on the familiar red and cream motor bike lying mangled on the ground. 

“Hey...isn’t that--?”

All three superhero’s heads snap up as you come limping up to the scene. You’re carrying your helmet at your side and your hair is an impressive tangle whipping around your head in the breeze. When you lay eyes on the wrecked Super Cub you let out a shriek.

“MY BIKE!!”

Bucky freezes in place, his eyes wide and every muscle tensed in anxiety.

“You gotta be shittin’ me,” he mumbles under his breath. 

Clint eyes him accusingly. He is never going to hear the end of this…

You stand there looking down at your ruined bike and thinking about all the adventures you’d planned to have with her. You were going to take her to Coney Island...Rockaway beach...maybe even take a road trip to the Berkshires… Your poor sweet Cubby didn’t ask for this!

“You!” you snarl, marching up to Bucky with your hands on your hips. “Why is it always you!? Do you have it out for me or something?”

Clint snorts and mutters, “He’s got somethin’ for you…”

“SHUT UP!” you and Bucky both yell simultaneously.

You turn back to Bucky and arch your brow in expectation, “Well?”

The super-spy ex-assassin Avenger stumbles over his words, “I--uh, well...I didn’t mean...I didn’t know it was--”

“Didn’t know it was ME?” you finish for him with renewed fury. “Bucky! You can’t just go around shoving people off their motorcycles!”

“‘S hardly a motorcycle…,” he mumbles angrily. “More of a scooter if anything.”

“You! You...ugh!” you fall on him in a flurry of practically useless punches aimed at his chest. Bucky stands there looking bemused as you rain down fury with your tiny fists on his solid, immovable muscles.

“Hey!” Clint shouts in an excellent approximation of a frustrated dad voice. “Enough! Don’t do a hit on Bucky! That’s not nice.”

He puts his arms around you from behind and drags you away from the super soldier who looks--infuriatingly--unscathed. 

“But he stole my bike and wrecked it!” you whine, finally going limp and dropping from Clint’s hold.

Clint rolls his eyes to the sky like a martyr. 

“And do two wrongs make a right, young lady?”

“Pshh,” you scoff, shaking your head and leaning over your bike to check the saddle bag. You flip it open to find that the box containing your cherry pie has been pulverized and…

“MY LIBRARY BOOKS!!!”

---

The next morning you’re awoken by the cacophony of sounds coming from the alleyway behind the building. It sounds like Monty Python building the frickin’ Trojan Rabbit. You growl and roll out of bed, falling to the floor and catching yourself on your bandaged hands, cursing at the stinging pain.

“Stupid…’vengers...think they can do whatever they want...just cuz they save the world sometimes…” you’re muttering under your breath as you stagger to your feet and pull the cord on your blinds to look out your bedroom window. 

The door to the supply shed is open and two guys are bent over your wrecked bike. You throw the window open in an instant and climb out onto the fire escape.

“Hey!” you bellow. “Uh--stop! That’s my bike! I know the Avengers, buds! And I can have them down here so fast--”

The two men crane their necks to look up at you. One of them is wearing a welding mask but the other one is definitely--

“Bucky?”

He looks up at you with a sheepish smile and gives a little wave with his metal hand.

“Hey, Kit Kat…” he greets and you frown in confusion until you look down and realize you’re wearing a baggy nightshirt you’d got at Hershey Park. It’s emblazoned with the Kit Kat logo. Even from two stories up you can see the gleam of humor in his eyes. You can also see...a lot more. He’s wearing a black tank top that shows off his impossibly toned shoulders and back. Your brain short circuits momentarily as you rake your eyes down his form. 

The man beside him flips up the mask and you see he’s an older guy with a sharp goatee. 

“Are we taking a social break or are we getting to work, Barnes? You know I gave up brunch to do this for you. Brunch,” the man voice drips with sarcasm.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, Tony,” Bucky shakes his head and turns back to the bike. 

Wait, Tony as in--?

“Hey!” you call down and Bucky lifts his head up to lock eyes with you. How can those blue eyes still have so much power from so far away?? “You still owe me for the library books!”

Bucky laughs and turns back to the bike.

“I mean it! I have a clean library record, Bucky! I’m gonna have fines!”

“Don’t push it, doll!” he calls as Tony ignites the blow torch.

---

A week later you scoot up to the curb on a side street near the Bedford Branch of the Brooklyn Public Library. Cubby has been restored to her former glory thanks to Bucky and Tony’s loving care and you give her an affectionate pat as you dismount and walk down the street toward the squat, brick library building. There may be grander libraries in New York but this is your neighborhood branch and it feels like home. You mutter and shake your head at the prospect of having to pay replacement fines for the books that Bucky ruined.

The librarian behind the desk is about your age with dyed bright red hair and a sleeve of tattoos that look like children’s book illustrations. Cool. 

“Hey--um,” you roll your eyes in irritation at yourself. “I have to pay some replacement fees? I kind of...got cherry pie all over some books.”

The librarian laughs good-naturedly and pulls up your account on her computer. She asks you for the titles and frowns at her screen. 

“Looks like...yeah--they’ve already been paid for,” she tells you with a shrug. “Guess you have a mysterious benefactor.”

You smile faintly and shake your head. Mysterious, my ass. You thank her and you’re about to leave when she stops you. 

“Do you want to pick up your hold?”

You don’t remember putting anything on hold...but you’ve had occasional bouts of late-night enthusiasm that resulted in excessive library catalog searches, maybe you forgot...

“Uh...sure,” you say and watch as she disappears into an office behind the circulation desk.

She returns a few minutes later with a slim paperback volume in her hands. She scans the barcode and slips the receipt into the book.

“Enjoy!” she says with a smile and you thank her once again. 

You glance down at the cover as you’re walking out and you let out a bark of laughter even as irritation spikes behind your eyes. 

“Motorcycle Safety: Basics for Beginners”

Bucky Frickin’ Barnes...

Tags: @watsonwise​ 

A/N: “Don’t do a hit on Bucky”-- yes that was a McElroy reference. 

[dear-felony]

i’m gonna put my notes for you here, just in case i’m not here when you are. i’m so sorry i only was able to do them for the first three weeks. ilysm, i’m gonna miss you with everything. @lovely-demon-loved-by-knight​

~~~

I realized that you wouldn’t have hugs from me while you’re gone. So I’m gonna leave some hugs right here and whenever you need one, you just use it then, okay?

>> *wraps u in a soft blanket and sits down next to you. puts both my arms around you and holds you close for as long as you need*

>> *holds u very tight to me n rubs your back*

>> *soft, long and safe hug*

5/25

Dear Felony,

I know today is probably so hard for you. I don’t want to add to your anxiety or your pain about leaving, so I’m just gonna make you a little calm place instead. Imagine we’re sitting together on a picnic blanket in the grass under a big tree. The picnic blanket is light blue and soft, and we’re both cross legged and leaning against each other. I’m laying out lemonade and cucumber cream cheese sandwiches I made before you woke up. (You slept in today, because there was no need to get up, and the sounds of me in the kitchen and the birds in the trees kept you so calm.) You’re telling me a story and I’m giggling. A squirrel runs past us. Everything is calm and safe. You’ve got this, Covi. I love you so much.

5/26

Dear Covi,

Since this is a road trip, I’m guessing you’ll be in a car at some point today. If you are, would you do me a favour and look out at the trees as they pass? Looking out of car windows is so universal. You’re looking at the trees and ground rushing past there, and however many miles away, I will too. We’re together in that moment. And since I’m with you, know that I’m squeezing your hand and telling you I’m proud of you.

5/27

Dear Covi, 

Today I’m gonna tell you some of my favourite colours. Maybe when you get back, you can tell me yours. Or you can write them down somewhere now and send them when you get wifi. I’d like to hear them. My collection of colours: passion tea, the sunset, sunlight shining through leaves, the farthest water away from the shore, wet moss, male mallard ducks’ feathers, theatre popcorn, fox fur, honey, brick, and rose quartz. I hope you’re doing okay my Felony, and I hope you find a new colour for your own collection today.

5/28

Dear Felony,

Today I’m gonna tell you about a stuffed animal. I have a buffalo named Bull-Bull from when I was very little. (I couldn’t figure out if he was a buffalo or a bull so I called him a buffalo and named him Bull-Bull.) I remember the first time I went to the orthodontist I had him with me, and I was crying cuz I had to get an appliance and tonsil surgery and I was scared, and my orthodontist told me I could get a special case for my appliance with a buffalo on it. I never did get it, but at the time it helped calm me down. I like telling you stories. I wanna tell you all the stories of me. The little memories that maybe don’t matter but maybe do, you know? And I want to hear all of yours.

5/29

Dear Covi,

I think I will draw you lots of pictures while you are gone. Then when you get back you will have them all. Or maybe I’ll make another sideblog and post them on there each day, so I can feel closer to you. Maybe you can draw a picture for me if you want to, just to remind you that you’ll get back to me, and everything’s okay. I’m very very proud of you, Covi. I love you so much. You’ve got this.

5/30

Dear Felony,

At the dollar store near my house you can get a big bag of theatre popcorn. I really want to get that and maybe apple slices and cheese and just have a movie night with you. Or maybe you could show me Julie and the Phantoms. I would love to watch it with you. Not only am I sure I’ll love it, I’d adore just seeing you happy and being able to lean into when I want. It just sounds very soft. When you get back, if you’re still into JATP, I am definitely going to watch it. It’ll be summer, so I’ll be able to. I love you.

5/31

Dear Felony,

I hope you see a dandelion today. I don’t know if it’ll be the season for them yet, but if it’s one of the fluffy ones that’s even better. I used to hate dandelions, but it’s tiring hating things. They’re bright and pretty and I like them. I hope you see one. It will be my little forehead kiss for you.

6/1

Dear Felony, 

You’ve made it through the first week!! I’m so proud of you. You can make it through the rest. I’ll give you some things to help you keep going: my soft blue blanket you can wrap around your shoulders, an aero chocolate bar (my favourite), a woven bracelet that I made you with the help of a ton of youtube tutorials, and a few of my favourite gel pens to colour with. I’m sorry they can only be imaginary, but I hope they help a little anyway.

6/2

Dear Covi,

Today I am going to give you some song lyrics. I am pretty sure I have sent you this song before, but it’s important to me you hear them now.

/ Sweetheart, you look a little tired

When did you last eat?

Come in and make yourself right at home

Stay as long as you need

Tell me, is something wrong?

If something's wrong, you can count on me

You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat \

6/3

Dear Covi, 

I’m going to be honest, I’m really sad as I’m writing this. I’m thinking of how hard it’s going to be without you. I’ve tried to make these positive as much as I can, because I know you don’t deserve more worry. But it’s hard. Just know that if you miss me, I am over here missing you too. But as long as you get through, so will I. I love you so much.

6/4

Dear Felony,

It’s really late here. I wonder what time it is where you are, whether you’re cuddled in a hotel bed or in the back of your car or sneaking peeks at your phone during a long walk. I hope wherever you are I can bring you some comfort. Just imagine me under a blanket in the middle of the night, blinking away sleepiness so I can write to you. The light is on outside my door and it’s shining through the pride flag, which is pretty cool. I bet it’d make you happy. I hope you’ve seen lots of things that made you happy this trip. I want to hear all of them when you get back.

6/5

Dear Covi,

I’m proud of you, you know that? I hope you know that. I’m so, so proud of you. You have dealt with a lot, you are dealing with a lot, and you somehow still light up the world. You really do. And you don’t have to always be in touch, or always be ready to help people, to light up the world. Your existence is enough, your perseverance is enough. You deserve to take care of yourself, and to be taken care of. I’m so proud of you.

6/6

Dear Covi,

I have this really big amethyst and sometimes tiny pieces of it will break off on the edges. I save the pieces in this small box I have and they mean a lot to me. I wish I could put them in a locket and give them to you. So whenever I was holding my amethyst I knew wherever you are you’d have part of it right there too. 

6/7

Dear Felony,

I wanna walk in the rain with you. I wanna run through it shielding each other with our hoodies and laughing, or walk slowly under an umbrella together watching the little streams that gather on the sides of the road. I wanna twirl you around in the soaking wet grass and then make hot chocolate with you to warm up when we get inside. I just think that’d be nice.

6/8

Dear Felony,

Two weeks!! I don’t know how you’re doing right now. I really really hope it’s alright. I’m proud of you for this, I know it’s hard. You’ve got this, I love you so much, and you know I’m thinking of you.

6/9

Dear Felony,

I wanna build a little cottage in minecraft with you and have a bunch of dogs and sheep and cats and parrots and a lil cute farm and a windmill because it’d be adorable. And I would go collect a bunch of flowers for you because I can. Ily :>

6/10

Dear Covi,

I have a little rainbow pin and it is very very cute. This is important for you to know. I wish I could get you a little one to match it.

6/11

Dear Covi,

Your daily I love you, m’person *tips hat* you are wonderful and perfect and amazing and I love you. Thank you for lighting up my world every day, even when you’re not here.

6/12

Dear Felony,

I wish you could play with my hair. That’d be… so soft. I would even let you braid it if you wanted to, even though I don’t usually let anyone braid my hair. But I just trust you. So much. And I know I’d feel so safe.

6/13

Dear Felony,

I want to memorize your handwriting. I want to read enough little notes from you that I could recognize each letter anywhere. And I want you to be able to know mine. If I could write you little notes in paper airplanes and send them to fly to your lap I’d run out of origami paper in a week.

6/14

Dear Covi,

I want to bring you little gifts every day. Like a little rock I found or a flower for you to tuck behind your ear or a little origami animal or your favourite candy that I walked to get from the store. I just love you so much and I want to show it.

6/15

Dear Felony,

You’ve made it through three weeks! I’m so frikin proud of you. You can make it through the rest, okay? And soon you’ll be back, and I will require many many long cuddles after your absence.

I’m so sorry that I didn’t have time to write a note for every day you’re gone. I hope these at least help a little, and that you can reread them if you need me. I’ll miss you so, so much. I love you with all of my heart, my knight, always.

[t-lostinworlds]

Words Cut Like Knives (Shawn Mendes)

A/N: So this is another entry for @fourtristattoos spring festival since it angst week (I hope I’m not late), and yes, this is an angst one asdfghjkl I’m soorryy in advance. It’s cuz when I’m in that head space, I write to get it out so here we are. Hope you guys like it! x

P.S. I’ll be posting the next part of Duplicate next, hopefully in the next few days. I’m sorry for taking so long, I hope you guys understand <3

Summary: Shawn slips out the words you were never meant to hear, but you think it's for the best that you did, even if it hurts.

Warnings: A bit of Fluff then Angst and Typos.

Word Count: 6.7k

Masterlist in Bio

Prompts will be in Bold.

-:-:-:-:-

"Shawn? You here?" You frowned as you opened his door, the place oddly quiet and dark as if no one was inside, but it was unlocked and he had texted you three simple words, please come over. And being the person who cares about him so much, of course you were there in a heartbeat, mostly a blessing in his part, but a curse in yours.

There was no denying you were in love with him, you've come to accept that within yourself, but no one knows, and you'd like to keep it that way. It's been your own little secret that you're in love with Shawn Mendes, world renowned pop superstar, but to you, a dork of a best friend.

You hate yourself for pining after him, chasing a man who you know would never look at you the way you look at him, his girlfriend is living proof of that. But what can you do? If you were able to control your feelings, you would have, save yourself the heartbreak in the process.

He does care about you by a lot and he shows that in so many ways, but just not in a way that you'd want. His love and care for you has a limit, that of being just his best friend and nothing more.

You went further inside his condo, stopping for a quick second in the kitchen to place the ice cream you bought in the fridge. You don't know why you bought it but you just have a feeling it's much needed later on. You tried your best to not knock anything over sue to the dim lighting, the only source of light was coming from the busy city outside, making its way through the windows and creating different shaped shadows in his dark living room.

After placing your bag at the plush white couch, still confused at the weird and quiet atmosphere, you turned the corner to face the hallway, sock cladded feet walking slowly towards his bedroom, an uneasy feeling in your stomach as there was no sign of life in the house yet. "Shawn?" You called out again, stopping just in front of the wooden door, a low light escaping the crack as you slowly pushed it open.

Your heart dropped as his sobs flooded your ears, eyes landing on the man who was sat on the floor, back pressed against the edge of his bed as he buried his face between his knees, hugging it close to chest as his whole body shook.

"Oh Shawn." You frowned, your feet taking you closer to him until you knelt in front of his shaking form, soft hand coming to rest on his arm making his head shot up at the contact, bloodshot eyes meeting your own, the pain in his eyes enough to break your own heart.

You didn't have time to say anything as Shawn lurched himself forward, strong arms wrapping around your waist, burying his face on your chest as he cried, full on loud sobs as he held onto you for dear life as if you're the only one that's making him feel grounded, enabling him to stay breathing.

The fabric of you shirt was getting soaked by the minute but you didn't care, you just held him, hand rubbing soothing patterns on his back while the other took home, tangled in his hair on the back of his head while your chin rests atop, cradling him in your arms without a word knowing that it's all he needs right now.

You don't know how long you two have been kneeling on the floor for, but soon enough Shawn's sobs slowly turned into sniffles, his breathing still shaky but calmer than earlier. You loosened your grip around him as he slowly pulled away, heaving in a deep sigh before looking up at you with a small yet broken smile. "I'm sorry, now your shirts ruined." He spoke, voice hoarse due to the crying he's been doing, his cheeks all red and flushed to match with his eyes.

"Well I've soaked your shirts before too, snot and all, so I guess we're even." You joked, pushing his hair back and away from his forehead absentmindedly as you both stayed knelt on the ground, height almost the same since he was hunched over, his arms still wrapped around your waist loosely. A small chuckle left Shawn's lips, the corners of his mouth curving up but was soon replaced by a frown just as fast as it appeared.

"Want to talk about it?" Shawn shook his head no, eyes casting down as he swallowed the lump in his throat. You nodded even though his eyes weren't on you, knowing that he'll tell you when he's ready, so with a deep breath, you stood up, Shawn's gaze snapping back to you at the sudden movement and you only shot him a smile, both hands extended for him to take.

"Come on, I bought ice cream." You proposed enthusiastically, earning a sigh from Shawn before he finally took your hand, getting back on his own two feet and now towering over you, he is a tall boy after all. "Of course you did." He mumbled softly, large hands closing around yours as he gave it as soft squeeze, eyes glimmering with so much gratitude, and it made your heart melt.

"What would I do without you?" Shawn whispered softly, looking at you adoringly with a smile, and you wanted him to stop, to slap him across the cheek because that look always makes you weak, makes you fall even deeper. "You'd be a mess without me." You let out a shy laugh, looking down at your intertwined hands before going back to his eyes, hoping that the dim lighting of the room was enough to hide the blush of your cheeks.

Shawn chuckled, his thumb softly caressing the back of your hands as a habit of his, completely oblivious to the fact at how your heart beat quickened at the simple gesture. Your brain was yelling at you, telling you to pull away, that the this was too close, but your heart wanted to stay there, maybe even be closer, and you hated that you felt that way, because you know Shawn was nowhere near feeling the same.

"Thank you (Y/N), for everything." Shawn tugged at your hands, pulling you closer to him as he pressed his lips softly against your forehead, arms slowly wrapping around your small form as he engulfed you in a warm, tight embrace. You stood there with your eyes shut tight, wrapping your arms around his waist as you hugged him back with a sigh, heart breaking at the same time as you wished there was more to this moment than just best friends holding each other.

He's always been like this around you, always so affectionate and sweet, and it's not helping you from getting over your feelings at all. You keep telling yourself that, that's just how Shawn is, and that there's no other meaning behind all his sweet gestures, keeping in mind that he just sees you as his friend and nothing more.

"Hey, that's what best friends are for." You shrugged as you slowly pulled away, a fake smile plastered on your face as you ignored the heart wrenching feeling that spread across your chest when you said the words. Best friends.

"I – yeah, anyway, I'll meet you in the kitchen, need to get myself together." You ignored the slight change in his voice, your brain registering it as a hint of disappointment but you quickly erased the thought away, knowing that when you're in love with someone, you tend to grasp at any sort of sign for them to feel the same, and you just can't take any false hope, not right now.

"Okay." You quickly turned on your heel before you could do something against your better judgment, hurrying towards the door to get some space between you two, because Shawn was starting to get suffocating.

"(Y/N) wait!"

"Hmm?" You turned back around to see him hunched over his luggage that was left open on the floor, and before you could even ask him what he was doing, he was already walking back towards you, clutching his blue Tommy Hilfiger hoodie in one hand, your eyebrows rising in both surprise and confusion. "Go change. Your shirt is a mess." Shawn titled his head to the side with a small smile, handing the hoodie to you in the process.

You looked down at your shirt, only now noticing the wet patches on your chest and how it started to feel sticky on your skin. You muttered a quick thanks as you flashed him a grateful smile, him returning the gesture, but when he leaned down to give your cheek a soft kiss, his soft lips lingering on your skin for a few moments, you swore you felt your heart stop. "You're welcome."

There's nothing to it. Just a friendly kiss, that's it. You thought to yourself as you gave him a shy smile, the fabric of his hoodie feeling so soft against your fingers as you abruptly turned around and made your way out, eyebrows creased with your heart thumping fast and loud as the confusion in your mind grew more and more.

Of course you get to steal his clothes sometimes, being his best friend comes with that perk, but also, it has a limit. You see, Shawn has his "favorite" pieces of clothing, and all those are always off limits for you to touch. You can still remember it vividly how he snapped at you for touching this particular hoodie. Shawn was so annoyed with you at the time that he didn't speak to you for a whole week, a bit dramatic in your opinion but you didn't bother and question him about it since it'll probably make him even angrier. After that, you always asked him which clothes were okay for you to borrow.

So seeing that he handed you the same hoodie, the very hoodie he flipped so much about when you stole it the first time, it makes your heart and mind jump into a conclusion that you know would hurt you in the long run.

You entered the bathroom with heavy breaths, the flush in your cheeks clear as day once you stared at your reflection, making you groan out in complete annoyance at how much you get so affected by him so easily that it's becoming unhealthy at this point.

"Get your shit together (Y/N). Stop acting like a lovesick teenager for fuck sake." You grumbled, slipping out of your shirt and slowly putting his hoodie on, the material almost swallowing you whole due to its size, the hem just stopping mid-thigh with the sleeves covering your arms completely, sweater paws and all, but you didn't mind, how could you when his scent was all you could smell? How can you complain when it feels so soft and warm just like him?

One last look in the mirror, and a defeated sigh later, you made your way out and into the kitchen, rummaging through the dark stained cabinets to prepare two bowls of ice cream for you and your best friend.

***

Shawn joined you a few minutes later, wearing new sets of clothes, his body covered in gray sweatpants and a black shirt that hugged his body perfectly that it messed with you head a little bit, hair slightly damped indicating that he must've took a quick shower, a tired look still in his eyes but a small smile made its way to his lips once his eyes landed on you. "You look cute."

"I'm always cute." You pointed out jokingly, trying your best to play it cool despite the fact that your heart was practically going to jump out of your chest, and of course, he had to make things worse, or better, whichever comes first.

"Well, a whole lot cuter, with that hoodie on. So adorable." Shawn gushed, that charming smile still plastered on that goddamn beautiful face.

Well fuck you Shawn.

You didn't bother to answer him as you slid his bowl of ice cream towards him across the marble counter, the kitchen island giving you the distance that you needed for you to stay sane in midst of the current situation.

Sure Shawn compliments a lot of people frequently, but the two of you are different in that area. Backhanded compliments was always the way to go in your friendship, a running joke that's been going on between the two of you for years, Shawn always saying that you keep him grounded that way and that it deflates his ego when needed.

So hearing him sound so endearing and say those words with a tone you can't muster, it makes the gears in your brain turn, even if you so badly don't want them to.

The two of you ate ice cream in pure silence, the only noise filling the area was the sound of the spoon and bowl clanking together, you not bothering to start a conversation since you're too occupied with your own argument inside your head, that until Shawn spoke the words that completely caught you by surprise.

"Freya broke up with me."

To say that you choked on your ice cream would've been an exaggeration, but that's exactly what happened as you struggled to regain your breathing, Shawn quick to get a bottle of water and rush to your side as he rubbed his palms soothingly against your back.

"What?" You softly managed to get out after a drink, looking up at Shawn to see a deep frown on his face, going back to his place across you as he leaned on the countertop, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he spoke again.

"Yeah, she said she needed a break from me or something. I don't really know why because it was on the phone. She just ended it." Shawn ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and you can just see how much this is affecting him.

"Shawn I'm sorry." You frowned at him, not sorry because she's gone but sorry because now he has to deal with this unnecessary heartbreak, one that he absolutely doesn't deserve.

"Yeah."

"And maybe it's a good thing. You can do better than her anyway." Shawn scoffed at your words, his demeanor changing from upset to annoyed real quick since you didn't bother to hide the underlying meaning behind your words, because from the very start, Shawn knows you never like his girlfriend–well now ex–in the first place.

"It's true." You know shouldn't have added anymore remarks, but you just can't help but be fed up with him stuck on this girl when she clearly has done nothing good to him.

You we're opening up an old wound, this not being the first time you've argued about her, but honestly? You don't care. You just want to open his goddamn eyes and make him see that she wasn't as amazing as his heart eyes let on. And no, this isn't the 'jealous best friend' talking, this is plainly you caring about a friend who has been blinded by "love" and can't seem to grasp the fact that what they had was toxic.

"Why do you have so much against her?" You can just hear the pure displeasure in his voice, him now standing fully as he crossed his arms over his chest, one brow raised at you to prove his annoyance.

You stared right back at him with a straight face, voice low yet firm, "You know exactly why Shawn."

"No I don't. I don't get why you don't like her at all, she makes me happy and I love her. You're my best friend, you should support what makes me happy (Y/N)." You couldn't help but roll your eyes, not even trying to hide it to Shawn as you let out a sarcastic laugh, and this made his jaw clenched.

"Yeah right, happy." You turned your back on him as you carried your bowl of ice cream to the sink, and even though you can't see him, you just know that he was running a palm over his face frustratingly.

"What on earth is your fucking problem?" Shawn said through gritted teeth, voice a deep growl but you didn't bother to face him. This was familiar territory, you already know how frustrated he gets when you speak about his ex in a not so friendly way so him being mad right now, it doesn't faze you in the slightest.

"I don't have a problem Shawn. I just don't think she's good for you. She triggers your anxiety, she makes you doubt yourself, she guilt trips you whenever you don't do exactly as she pleases, and so on, simple as that." You answered casually back still facing him as you continued to clean the dishes, your calmness agitating him even more, but inside, you were slowly losing your cool, especially when he much as well doubts your judgment just because of this girl.

"You know that's not true." Shawn answered though you didn't miss the way his voice wavered slightly, and you know you just hit a nerve. "Now you're just fucking lying to yourself." You shook you head in pure disbelief, turning around to face him, now just seeing how mad he actually was, face all flush with his nostrils flaring, the anger in his eyes very visible as his fist were balled on his sides.

"And what makes it so sure that you aren't doing this for selfish reasons? Because you're jealous that I don't get to spend time with you because I'm with her?"

That was it. Yes, you're in love with him, and yes you're a little bit jealous but you swore in your life that you will not interfere to anyone or anything that will make him happy, as long as it's good and healthy. But what he had with that girl was nowhere near good or healthy.

"So you think that me not liking this brat is just me being selfish? You think I don't want the best for you Shawn? If you think that she makes you the happiest then why do I have dozens of calls from you in the middle of the night when you're either crying or having an anxiety attack because of her? Who listens to you pour your heart out about thinking you're not enough because of something she said? Me Shawn." He looked away, his jaw visibly tightening but you didn't back down as you walk closer to him.

"I can see right through her and I know some of our friends don't like her too, I just happened to have the guts to tell you straight in the fucking face. I care about you a lot, if someone makes you happy then I will support you through and through, but that's just it. She doesn't make you fucking happy. She is not good for you and your mental health. I don't like her because of my own personal reason, I don't fucking like her because she's a goddamn bitch who hurts you and uses you and you're just so fucking bling to see it." Your voice bounced off the white walls, the frustration that's been building up through the months finally exploding as you just can't take it anymore.

"How do you know what's good for me (Y/N)?" Shawn countered, but you can see his anger leaving him, knowing that you were right, you always were, but his pride just wouldn't let up, at least, not yet.

"Because I fucking care about you, you fucking idiot! I want to see you happy because you fucking deserve that, to be content with who you are because you are goddamn enough. It's plain and simple Mendes, there are so many girls out there who can be the best for you, you just tend to be so fucking dumb and choose the ones who clearly don't have the best intentions." You flailed your arms in the air to justify your emotions. While his frustration was slowly leaving his system, yours was just starting to build up, and you knew, if this were to continue, you might slip something you will regret entirely.

"Oh so you think you can choose someone for me then? Who do you think is best for me (Y/N)? If I'm so dumb to choose the right girl, then where do I fucking look to finally get the right one?"

"I don't fucking know Shawn. Maybe you're just too blind to see who actually has your back. To see who has been there for you through everything, to see who has been giving you all they've got just to see you smile. You're just too fucking blind to see what's in front of you Shawn." Red flares started to go up inside your head, telling you to stop, to take what you said back, but it was too late when Shawn looked at you with furrowed brows, his brain starting to slowly catch up to what you're trying to say.

"What do you mean?" He asked softly, feet slowly walking closer to you but your alarms started to go completely off, that this was the worse idea if you continue, so the first action your brain registered was flight. "Forget it. I'm tired, I'm going home." You brushed past him and hurried towards the couch to gather your things, Shawn's voice booming throughout the space as he called after you.

"Hey! We're not done here, don't you dare walk away from me." Shawn followed you, but you were quick to avoid him as you bolted towards the door. "Watch me." You scoffed, but before you could even reach the exit, Shawn's tall figure was already blocking your way. Damn him and his long legs.

"(Y/N) please tell me what's inside of your head." Shawn pleaded, eyes searching for answers as he looked at you with nothing but utter confusion. You don't know what it was, or maybe you do, but with him looking at you with that certain glimmer in his eyes, you blurted out the words that never in a million years did you ever plan on saying it in front of his face.

"I'm fucking in love with you god dammit! And not just in a friendship type of way, it's more than that. I am so fucking in love with you Shawn but I just know you don't feel the same way. There, I said it, and I probably just ruined what we have and you'll probably never speak to me again so I'm fucking leaving." You walk past him, tears brimming in your eyes as you felt your chest slowly tighten up at the fact that you probably just threw your friendship away, that you probably lost him for good.

"(Y/N) wait." You felt Shawn grabbed at your wrist, tugging at it in a quick motion to make you spin around, and your eyes widened when the first thing you felt was his lips pressed up against yours.

You were frozen on your spot for a couple of seconds before your eyes started to flutter close as the feeling of his soft lips started to register inside your brain.

Shawn's arms wrapped itself around your waist as he pulled you even closer to him, yours taking home around his neck, fingers getting lost at the mess of his curls in the back of his head as your lips moved in sync, the kiss soft, gentle yet careful as if both of you were scared to take it up a notch.

You were almost having an outer body experience as you were unable to think straight, mind a fuzzy mess as you keep saying yourself that it's actually happening. Months of thinking about what his lips would feel like, it was finally happening, right in his living space as you kissed, both wrapped around each other like you just can't get enough.

Heavy breaths wear heard as the two of you pulled away. Shawn's forehead pressed against yours as his eyes stared right through you, showing you a mix of emotions that you couldn't pin point which one is which.

A smile started to graze Shawn's pink lips, the tip of his nose nudging yours sweetly before giving you a peck on the lips, and then another and then another until you were giggling in his arms.

"You were so right. You're always right. I have been so blind all this time." Shawn sighed, voice barely above a whisper. You didn’t bother to answer him with words as you captured his lips once again, both of you smiling through the kiss as the night starts what would blossom into a beautiful thing, or burn into ashes as you hadn’t expected it to.

***

It's been two months since your confession, and it was smooth sailing from there, Shawn just being as he is, the sweetest most caring person ever, the only difference is that now, you call him boyfriend instead of best friend.

Never had you ever expected for things to be this way, your wildest dreams coming through as you sat snuggled by his side on the couch in a mutual friend's house, the small get together party kicking off around you while the two of you talked to your friends in the living room, casually catching up about things here and there.

You emptied out your cup as you let out a soft giggle to something Brian had said, Shawn casting his eyes down at you with a proud grin, his soft lips pressing on your forehead as he took your empty come from you. "Want another one angel?" You gave him a grateful nod, his head dipping down to give you a chaste kiss, whispering a soft "I'll be right back," before standing up and making his way towards the kitchen.

You continued to talk with everyone, keeping your end of the conversation whenever someone asks you a thing or two, laughing at random jokes thrown here and there, until you finally realize that the empty space beside you has been like that for quite some time than expected.

"Brian have you seen Shawn?" The ginger boy shook his head no, concern covering his face as he looked around the room, the curly boy nowhere to be seen. "I'm going to look for him." You muttered but didn't wait for any response, standing up from your place and heading towards the kitchen as Shawn did earlier, but when you reached the space, he was not there either, leaving you even more confused than you already were.

Instinctively, you walked towards the back door that headed to the empty backyard since everyone was mostly inside, and when you pushed the door slowly, you felt your body go completely numb as your eyes landed on him, arms wrapped around someone as he presses her against the wall, lips connected in a hungry kiss and you wanted so bad to die right then and there, because it wasn’t just some girl, it was her. Freya, his supposed to be ex.

You wanted to run, to go as far away as possible, or much so as just look away because it fucking hurts, but you can’t. You whole brain just shuts down as you watched the man who you thought loved you back, kiss the girl who left him, making you wonder if any of the things he's done the past months was anywhere near the truth. The tears started running down your face but you stayed still and silent, the pain consuming you whole and dragging you deep into the darkest parts of your head. And as if what was happening in front of you wasn't enough, Shawn spoke,

"Come home with me." The need in his voice was so evident that you almost lost your balance, but he wasn't even done yet, what he said next was the twist of the knife that was already buried in your heart.

"Oh really now? What about your little girlfriend?"

"She means nothing to me. She's just a rebound."

You're whole world came to a gruesome stop at those simple words, the air getting knocked out of your lungs as you a tear escaped your eyes, not being able to believe that out of all people, him, Shawn, the boy who you know like the back of your hand, the one who you handed all of your heart to, would say those words with no hesitation, like it was just a casual lyric to his song.

"Wow. Should've told me that few months ago don't you think Shawn?" Your voice broke, Shawn pulling away from her like she's a disease as he looked at you with horror in his eyes the moment he heard you speak. "(Y/N) I–"

You held up your palms, shaking your head at him as you laugh at the both of them sarcastically, probably looking like a lunatic with your tears running endlessly down your cheeks but you didn't care. "Somehow I'm not surprised." Your voice was dripping in disappointment, the pain already clear in your eyes as you felt nothing but complete betrayal.

You knew it was a bit suspicious that he moved on all of the sudden, but you got blindsided by your love for him, only seeing nothing but good in him, expecting him not to hurt you and he used that against you. He fucking used you.

"Honey please–"

You flinched at his words, and this broke Shawn's heart, and you saw that, but how dare he? He knows what he was doing, why was he acting all hurt now? Because he got caught? You scoffed, legs finally working again as you slowly back away.

"Let her leave Shawn. She's nothing to you right? She looks like nothing anyway." Freya spoke, raising an annoyed brow at you, eyes scanning you from pure disgust, arms crossed over her chest to seem intimidating and you wanted to spat back, but her words hit you like a truck.

"Shut up will you?" Shawn snarled at her, but him defending you now will not work, nothing he will do will ever work as you're to consumed by your own emotions to let anything reason even slip pass. You were closing yourself off now, and it was for the best.

"You know what? You two are meant to be together. You both use people for your own gain." And with that you turned around grabbing the door frame for support but before you could completely disappear, you stopped mid-way as you shot Shawn a sad smile over your shoulder. "You should’ve given me the heads up that I'm just a rebound Shawn. Lessen the blow you know."

You ran back inside the house in full on sobs, grabbing your purse and ignoring the confused looks you earned from the people and the call of your name from the man you were running away from. You bolted towards the door and into the streets before he could reach you, thankful to see a taxi just passing by as you called out for it, Shawn's voice growing nearer and nearer as you slammed the door shut, giving the taxi the address as you drove off, Shawn's figure getting smaller in the rearview mirror as he stood in the middle of the street.

And what make things even more ironic was that your destination was back to his apartment, since you had your things there being that he convince you to move in just a few days prior. You just wish you can pack up and leave just before he gets back.

You were quick on your heels as you pushed the door open, the space no longer feeling welcoming in any sort of way as it was tainted by nothing but memories full of lies. It hurt to think that he had it in him to use you, had the nerve to say that you meant nothing to him. It hurts because he means everything to you. You put him above everyone else, and you hate yourself for being so naïve to think that he actually felt the same way.

You rushed towards your shared bedroom, pulling your luggage out of the closet and shoving your clothes in them, the tears clouding your vision as your body raked with sobs, the pain in your chest burning you slowly but surely, as you cried your heart out. You were too consumed in your own heartache that you didn’t hear the front door open and then close, not until you heard his voice echo through the bedroom walls as he called your name.

"Leave me the fuck alone Shawn. I'm leaving." You said through broken sobs, shoving the few last articles of clothing in the luggage and zipping it up, but before you could even do so, Shawn was quick to rush to your side, hand going to grab yours, "(Y/N) no, please, stop."

"Don't fucking touch me!" You yelled as you stood in your full height hands balled into fist at your sides as the anger radiated off of you, Shawn completely taken aback by your outburst but he backed away, arms up in surrender as tears started to brim in his eyes. "(Y/N) please, I didn't mean what I said back there. Please hear me out angel."

"Stop calling me that." You hissed, eyes shutting close to avoid giving in to him, looking away from him to zip your luggage up completely, hauling it up and rushing towards the door to get away from him, because you know if he starts crying, that'll be it for you. After all, he's your strength but also your weakness in so many levels.

"Baby please, hear me out." Shawn pleaded as he stood in front of you in a few strides, halting your movements and rendering you no other choice but to face him. After everything that you've been through together, you thought Shawn had decency to tell you the truth. He owes that to you, not only as his girlfriend, but first and foremost, his longtime best friend. You'd think he'd be straight up honest with you, tell you what he truly feels right of the bat, but right now, you just don't know anymore.

You gave your all to him, he knew that you were so wrapped around him that he jumped on the opportunity to use that to his gain, to maybe help him move on, or just fill the void that she left, and you felt sick to your stomach because you felt completely and utterly used, and what hurts even more was you were used by your best friend, the person who you trust with your life.

"I never had a chance, did I?" Your voice was small as you looked at him with pain in your eyes, the frown on his face deepening as he tried again to reach for you, but you took a step back. You just can't handle any contact from him right now, because you know that when his skin touches yours, your walls are going to crack and you're going to be forgiving him like it was nothing, and that's what's scaring you the most.

"You did, fuck, you do (Y/N), It's just–"

"She has a bigger chance than me, am I right?" The guilt that flashed across his face was like the truth coming down at you like a ton of bricks. Of course he's going to choose her over you, no matter how much you ease your way into his heart, if he doesn't let you in, if there's still someone there occupying it, then there's no use.

"Did it hurt when you said that? Did you even feel a thing?" You asked, bottom lip trembling as you searched his eyes, watching as his mouth opened and closed with no words coming out of it as he struggled to think of a response, and that in itself was already an answer to you. "Yeah, I thought so. They say actions speak louder than words, but why is it that in this case, your words hurt more than your actions?" The distress in Shawn's face was so clear, as if he just now realize the actual weight of what he's actually done to you, and now he so badly wished he could take the words that left his mouth right back.

"(Y/N) it's not like that." You shook your head at him, having enough of his reasons as your mind closes in itself, looking down as you tried to slowly regain your breathing before meeting his gaze once more.

"I thought I couldn't feel more pain than that moment, but I was wrong, not only about that, but about you." Shawn swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing fully well that he fucked up, so bad. And he wanted to beat himself up for putting you through so much when you had done nothing but be the best person to be there for him, to care for him, to love him unconditionally.

"When you said I meant nothing to you, I really wished you would’ve thought of me as two separate people, one as your girlfriend and one as your best friend, because I hope I mean something to you if not as a girlfriend, then as a best friend Shawn. But when you come and think about it, you can't really separate the two and it's just me as a whole, I just mean nothing to you and that's that." Your tears were an unending stream down your face, and the pain and betrayal in your voice was enough to break Shawn's heart into pieces.

"(Y/N) no, you mean everything to me. You mean the world to me." He croaked out, wanting so badly to hold you, to just have you in his arms even if it's for the last time, but he doesn't want to push his luck, because the fear that covered your eyes when he tried the first time was enough for him to know that you don't want him near, and he will respect that, even if it hurts.

"I really want to believe you, I really do. But you've hurt me Shawn, so much, and I don't think I would be able to trust you again."

Shawn knew that he became the man he wanted so badly not to be. He swore to himself that he wouldn't become the monster that would break a young girl's heart, but he just became exactly that. He hurt the girl who would've given him the world without a second thought, a girl who has been there for him through everything, a girl who has the kindest, heart in all of humanity.

"I'm so sorry. I am so sorry (Y/N), I'm sorry. Please, I don't want to lose you." Shawn's knees buckled as he fell on the floor, looking up at you with pleading, desperate eyes as he cried, and it took every ounce of your strength to keep yourself standing, to not sink into your knees and wrap your arms around him, to tell him it's okay, because in reality, it's just not. So with every will power that you could, you spoke the words that made Shawn realizes what you meant by words hurting more than actions.

"I'm sorry too Shawn, but you already did."

And with that you left, leaving the man you love and will always love crying on the floor, your own tears dropping at the carpet as you rushed towards the elevator.

Two hearts breaking with just simple words. Two people now understanding that words should be used with caution, because no matter what your intent is, if it isn't used correctly, then it well hurt more than an open wound, because words, they cut just like knives. 

-:-:-:-:-

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[returnn-of-the-mac]

The companions reacting to sole not taking care of themselves not eating sleeping or drinking just doing mission after mission nonstop (and maybe the faction leaders and Haylen?)? Thanks if you do!

Thank you for the request! I loved writing up this one! Please enjoy! 😊

Fo4 Companions React: Sole Neglecting Their Health

Sole had gone weeks without properly eating, drinking, or sleeping. [He/She] had completely dedicated their time to serving the people of the Commonwealth. Despite their fragile state, Sole continued accepting quest after quest in an attempt to make the people happy. After accepting yet another hostage quest, Sole’s companion— who had been silently worrying about their friend’s condition— finally cracked:

Piper: “No more missions for now, Blue. We’re taking a break.” Sole shot an angry look at Piper, who glared back in response. “Open your eyes! take a look at yourself! You aren’t the friendly, witty, hopeful [name] I met in Diamond City anymore. You’re a hollow shell; a mindless zombie who just does mission after mission. I don’t even think you have that genuine passion to help others like you used to.” Sole looked hurt and the reporter sighed. “I’m not trying to be mean, Blue. But trust me when I say you’re falling apart. I can see it. Please, start taking better care of yourself.”

Cait: “Are ye tryin to run yerself into the ground, darlin?” Cait asked. Sole turned around to face their companion, and quickly noticed how concerned the redhead looked. “Day after day ye do this task, and ye do that task, and ye do this favor and that favor and tons of favors,” Cait took a breath, “Seems like all ye do is give, give, give. But you never take for yerself. And ye need that sometimes. Look at ye,” Cait said, scanning Sole from head to toe, “Yer pale as a ghost and bony as a skeleton! Ye look like a corpse. Eat some potato crisps. Eat somethin...anythin! Ye better not die on me, dammit.”

Codsworth: “[Sir/Mum]? Please take a break. You look unwell,” Codsworth stated, floating over to his companion, “I don’t think I’ve seen you look this drained since the first month Shaun was born. The little bugger kept you up all night!” The robot dryly chucked. “In all seriousness, you need to take care of yourself. I’m very concerned about your health...”

Longfellow: “Ever hear that folktale about the sea captain who worked himself to death among his own crew?” Sole shook their head and Longfellow chucked, “Good. Cuz I just made that up and if you’d said ‘yes’ I would’ve caught you in a lie.” He quickly composed himself, “But there is some truth to that, you know. The captain is you and the crew are the people of the Commonwealth. These people are more than capable of taking care of themselves once in a while. They were fine on their own before you came out of the Vault. But from my decades of living, I’ve come to realize that the more you give, the more people are going to take. You can never please everyone, and that’s exactly what’s happening here, lad. It’s time to help yourself now.”

Nick: “You can’t go on like this.” Sole stopped and looked at the obviously concerned detective, “You’re going to work yourself to the grave. You need to have a bite, have a drink, take a darn nap every so often.” Sole blinked and Nick’s tone softened, “I know you’re making tremendous sacrifices for the people— and that’s wonderful— but you can’t be of much assistance if you’re dead.” Nick put a supportive hand on Sole’s shoulder, “Take it from a guy who was on the same boat decades ago. I’ve burnt myself out with cases, and I’ve damn well learned my lesson. Now I’m passing this information onto you so you don’t make the same mistakes I did. You deserve happiness too, you know.”

Hancock: “When are you gonna stop, my friend?” Hancock asked, concerned. Sole looked at him. “Look, I don’t judge and I don’t like tellin people what to do. People deserve the freedom to make their own decisions. I will, however, step in when I see that things start going to shit. And I think you’re in that boat right now with your health.” Sole‘s eyes widened and Hancock gave them a stern look. “I don’t wantcha thinking that I’m some sorta bad guy, because I’m not. I’m just telling you this because it’s damn heart wrenching to watch you destroy yourself like this.” Hancock sighed, “I care about you, [name], and that’s why I’m being such a pain in the ass. Just chill out for a bit, get some food, sleep. You need it.”

Gage: “Er...boss? I think we need to talk.” Gage awkwardly looked around trying to figure out the best way to discuss the topic of his partner’s health. “I think ya need ta stop. Ya...ya look like shit.” Sole glared at their companion and he scratched his head. “What? I’m bein blunt. I ain’t gonna lie. You look like ya haven’t eaten or slept in weeks. Ya need ta start thinkin about yourself more. Your own well-bein is just as important as all those other people’s.”

Preston: “General...I think...I think this settlement can wait. You look exhausted.” Sole looked shocked as their partner looked at the ground. “I hope I’m not working you too hard and I’m so sorry if I am. I can see that you need a break, so please...just take all the time you need to recover. You deserve it.”

Strong: “Strong notice human look weaker than normal,” the supermutant commented, “Why human make self weaker? Supposed to make self stronger!” Sole stared at Strong, genuinely surprised that he’d noticed. “Human need meat. Meat make human strong. Human need sleep too. And milk. Milk make human strong like Strong!”

Curie: “Please!” Curie snapped, on the verge of tears, “Please just stop for a moment and recover! You’re dying, [Monsieur/Madame]! You’re withering away before my eyes!” The synth sniffled and wiped several tears that had begun to stream down her face. “I care very much about you, and it pains me to see you like this. You look so sickly and weak,” Curie continued, “I sincerely apologize if I am being rude, but I just want you to be healthy and happy.”

MacCready: “Uh...hey...” Macready was at a loss for words. Sole looked at him just as he finally gathered his thoughts, “We need to talk.” Sole waited and MacCready sighed. “Look. I get that you’re busy and you want to help people and all that. But when are you going to start taking care you yourself again? You look terrible.” Sole frowned and MacCready frantically tried to recover. “Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. That’s not...exactly...what I meant. What I meant was that you look really...unhealthy. You look like you haven’t had a bite of food or a millisecond of sleep in weeks. I’m really worried.” Sole remained silent and MacCready continued. “I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but you should really just relax for a little bit. It could do you some good. It’s hard to watch you do this to yourself, [name].”

Ada: “[Sir/Ma’am]? Maybe you should rest,” The robot stated, “You look jaded, pale, fatigued, malnourished...all symptoms of overexertion. This state can lead up to something more dangerous.” Sole stared at their companion. “Lethal conditions that can manifest as a result of these preexisting symptoms include but are not limited to: hypoglycemia, heart arrhythmia, seizure, stroke, and cardiac arrest.”

X6-88: “[Sir/Ma’am]? There’a something serious I’d like to discuss with you. Is now a good time?” Sole nodded and X6 reciprocated the gesture. “I’d like to talk to you about your health. Or rather, lack thereof,” the Courser began, “You’re deteriorating rapidly. I think it’s because you’re not allowing yourself adequate time to recuperate after an assignment.” Sole looked at the ground and X6 continued, “You are a valuable asset to the future of the Institute. We can’t afford to lose you. Come back with me and take a week off. Eat, drink, sleep, recover. You deserve it.”

Father: “Some things never change,” Father stated, catching Sole’s attention. “Just like in the old days, you’re still a workaholic and a people-pleaser. Working long hours, neglecting your own needs. When will you learn? The more you give, the more these people will take,” Father explained, “They’re never going to be completely happy. So put yourself first. Come back to the Institute and rest up. It saddens me to see you in this state.”

Deacon: “Hey pal. We need to talk. Seriously,” Deacon stated, sternly. Sole faced him, shocked by his unusually serious demeanor. “I know your busy and stressed and stuff but...for once I can’t lie. You look terrible.” Sole was taken aback, and he continued, “Look, I’m not saying this stuff to be mean. I’m just worried about you. I know you haven’t eaten, drunk, or slept in days. Starvation, dehydration, and exhaustion aren’t exactly easy on the looks. You’ve gotta take better care of yourself.”

Desdemona: “Hey. You need to take a break,” Desdemona stated flatly, “You’re going to burn yourself out at this rate.“ Sole faced the redhead, who promptly lit a cigarette. “I know I’m not one to be preaching about self-care, but I’ve seen countless people work themselves to death.You need to take care of yourself, and you need to do it now.”

Danse: Danse hesitated for a moment before finally speaking. “When you have a moment soldier, I...uh...I’d like to discuss something with you.” Sole stopped in their tracks and looked at their partner. The Paladin shifted uncomfortably. “It’s not my place to talk to you about this but...I’ve been concerned about your health lately, solider,” he continued, “I admire your dedication to helping others. Your allegiance to the people of the Commonwealth is truly commendable. But at some point, you have to put yourself first.” Sole frowned in shame, and Danse furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t want you beating yourself up over this, alright? In the future, just be more mindful of your physical and mental health, soldier.”

Haylen: “Uh...hey. I think it’s about time you take a rest,” Haylen stated, her voice laced with concern, “You’ve been running on empty for the past, what, like three weeks now? Don’t you think it’s time for a break?” Sole shrugged and Haylen rolled her eyes. “Between you, Danse, and Rhys...you’re all so stubborn. Why don’t you take care of yourselves for a change?” She focused her attention back on Sole. “It might be better in the long run for you to...eat and sleep every so often. It’s not healthy to run yourself down like this. You’re going to seriously hurt yourself.”

Maxson: “Hm. I understand you want to help the people of the Commonwealth, but your health seems to be at stake right now,” Maxson commented, “Maybe you should consider food? Or sleep? Maybe water?” Sole stared at Maxson, and the Elder continued, “As valuable of an asset as you are to our team, I am going to have no choice but to put you on temporary leave until you are healthy enough to serve for us. Consider this a warning. Either start taking care of yourself, or you will be barred until you are considered fit for duty again.”

[shewolfofficial]

Hi, Can you write about levi wanting his s/o to quit the SC 'cuz he is worried about her dying there but she refuses, so he will end up impregnating her on purpose so she would quit by herself to take care of the baby. After she knows the truth she won't take it well . Sorry it was a long ask

Warning: Cursing, Angst

S/N - Son Name

D/N - Daughter Name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

// Flashback \

“Levi?” I asked wearily, standing in front of his desk as he flicked his orbs up to me questioningly “yes F/N?” he asked with the same blank expression.

“I-I’m pregnant..”

Silence.

“Come here F/N” Levi said standing up sauntering around his desk taking me into a hug. “How far are you?” he mumbled quietly as I leaned into his chest listening to his heartbeat “two months.. I was scared.. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier..” I respond as he places a gentle kiss to my cheek. “It’s fine.. Hopefully in nine months if everything goes well we’ll have either a mini me or a mini you running around” he says as I nod.

“Heh surprised you didn’t call them a brat”

// Time Skip \

“F/N please! It’s not what it sounds like!” Levi tried to reach for me but I only pulled back, Hanji had blurted out that Levi had gotten me pregnant on purpose just so I had to leave the Military. She said if I didn’t want it I could just have an abortion, yet, why would I kill such an innocent child? It had done nothing wrong to deserve to be killed, it’s not its fault.

“Levi don’t you dare touch me” I snap at him backing away, we were in his office and every step he tried to take towards me I only backed up more towards the door. I felt used. Betrayed and god-knows so many other feelings. “F/N you know I want this child with you, please can we just sit down and talk?” Levi tried as I angrily shook my head. “No Rivialle! We will not talk! In a matter of fact, I hope we never fucking speak or see each other ever again you fucking prick!” I growl at the male who kept attempting to ease his way towards me like a zookeeper at a rogue lion.

Spinning around I grip the door handle “all you ever think of is yourself Levi, you didn’t give a shit if I were to find out…” I grumble glaring over my shoulder to him, he stands there like his boots were glued to the wooden floorboards looking like he was thinking of what to say. “All you fucking wanted was for me to leave the Military because if something happened to me oh no! You’ll be so sad and upset!” I seeth, voice dripping with sarcasm as I shot him a deadly look. “I’m making sure you don’t see me or my child ever again you monster.”

And with that..

I left..

// Flashback End - 1 Year Later \

There was word going around that the Scouts were going through Trost to head to Stohess in Wall Sina for some meeting. Ever since I left the Scouts I’ve been living alone with my son, S/N, our house was a medium two storey house near the market so life was going pretty good.

Standing in the front of the crowd I balanced S/N on my hip, he had soft raven hair with pale skin and my E/C eyes. Definitely looking like his father. The citizens of Trost gathered around as the familiar clip-clop of hooves against the stone path arrived from around the corner.

Eyes landing on familiar faces and some new ones as the Scouts rounded the corner and began to walk up the streets holding their horses by the reigns. S/N lay in against me resting his head over my heart as his little hands held onto my blouse, his other hand toying with some loose strands of my hair that fell cupping my face.

Curious big E/C wandered over the soldiers that walked by quietly chatting to themselves, some of my friends seemed happy to see me as they stopped for a quick chat but were hurried off by other soldiers. Spotting Erwin and Hanji quietly talk with one another at the end Hanji grinned widely seeing me and my son but was scurried off by Erwin who told her to go on.

Stopping in front of me the taller male gave me a gentle smile as I returned it, S/N eyed him in slight confusion. “How have you been F/N?” Erwin spoke softly as I sighed smile refusing to falter. “I’ve been fine, it’s been a while Erwin.. I’m glad to see you’re safe” I replied as he chuckled, baby blue eyes flicking around like they were looking for someone. “Thank you F/N, who’s this little fellow?” Erwin quizzed sending S/N a smile watching him toy with my hair. “Oh this is S/N, I guess you already know who the father is..” I mumble as Erwin nods.

“Yes, Levi if I’m correct, I’m sorry about what happened between you two” He continued as I shook my head slightly “no need to apologise for anything Erwin, it’s in the past and we’re happy now.. You might want to get going I see Hanji desperately trying to get your attention” I stifle a giggle as Erwin looks over to the distance where Hanji stood waving her hands enthusiastically. Stood next to Hanji was a familiar figure..

Levi.

His gaze met mine and I could feel the guilt practically dripping from his expression, shifting his orbs he examined the small human I held on my hip that played with my H/C locks with not a care in the world.

Bidding Erwin good luck and a farewell I walked off as S/N whined and stretched out to behind me, looking at him in confusion I shift my vision to behind us seeing Levi at the end of the street avert his gunmetal orbs off us quickly, tugging the reigns of his horse he disappeared to go catch up with the Scouts as we both went our separate ways.

I wanted to hate Levi.

I really wanted to.

But I couldn’t.

You can’t hate the person you love..

// A Few Hours Later \

Quietly humming to myself I sauntered through Trost from pure boredom. I didn’t really know what to do since my mother offered to take care of S/N for a few hours and give me a break, I refused not wanting to cause her any hassle of handling S/N since he could be a very lively child when he wants to be. So that resulted in me pointlessly walking around carrying a small bag of shopping and S/N.

“F/NNN!!!”

Twirling around I feel Hanji engulf me in a tight hug as I yelp slightly. “Oh it’s been so long! your little muffins! he’s so cute!” she said gently pinching S/N’s cheeks as he scowled at her. “His glare is even like Levi’s!” the mad woman exclaimed as I couldn’t help but chuckle. “We should really catch up sometime! Go out for a drink hm? How does that sound? I bet you deserve one after all” Hanji smiled as I effortlessly shrugged. “Sure what harm can it do?” I say as she agrees cooing at S/N.

“Ah well.. I better get going! Erwin said he wanted to talk with me so I have to go~ Toodaloo you two!” The scientist called out walking away.

“Tch, toodaloo? That woman seems to be losing it more every day”

Oh god please no..

Looking to the side I see Levi approaching with his usual stoic expression, quickly averting my nervous gaze from him I bite the inside of my cheek as S/N notices my uneasiness. “F/N come on, you can’t ignore me forever... See, even the little man acknowledged me” Levi says crossing his arms from next to me, sending him a dirty look I use every ounce of energy to keep myself from probably telling Levi to piss off.

“Fine. What do you want?” I say rolling my E/C orbs back to the man next to me. Sighing Levi uncrosses his arms “I want you to stop pretend like I don’t fucking exist F/N” Levi says as I click my tongue. “Too late for that one, now can you leave me and my son alone? It would be much appreciated” I say as Levi’s face turns to a pained look for a few seconds before he covered it back up with the plain bored look.

“F/N please, why don’t you ever listen to me? I’ve been looking all over these shitty walls for you” Levi says as S/N nuzzles into the crook of my neck. “I don’t want to listen because I’m not going to fall for your lies again Levi, you told me you wanted S/N yet a few weeks later I find out you only got me pregnant to get me out of the Scouts… You really think I’d listen to you after that?” I growl as he places a hand on my shoulder. “Please… Give me one last chance, I swear n my fucking life I’ll never do any shit like that again” he practically begs as I go silent, looking down to S/N you peered up to me with innocent E/C eyes.

“Fine.. One chance, if you fuck it up don’t expect another one”

// Time Skip - 6 Years Later \

The fluffy feeling of the clean and soft blankets rested on my figure, arms wrapped around my waist protectively as Levi shifted slightly to get comfortable underneath the covers. Feeling one of his legs drape over both my own under the covers Levi lay on his side spooning me like a big teddy bear. Sun peeped through little slits in the curtains down onto the large king-size bed we had. Feeling Levi dig his face into the crook of my neck I leant in towards his touch, brushing his nose over my skin it was like he was some sort of baby trying to cuddle as much its mother as possible.

Soft pitter patter echoed through the small hallway of the second floor of the house, slowly making their way towards Levi’s and my bedroom. Door creaking open ever so slightly silence filled the room again before the light footsteps continued on the soft carpet towards the bed, feeling the bed dip from where I was facing I creaked open my eyes and came face to face with S/N who smiled sheepishly at me.

“Good morning mom! Psst! Is dad awake?”

“Yes I am, what is it?”

Hearing Levi grumble tiredly I suppressed a giggle feeling him cuddle into me more. “Today you said you’re going to bring me and D/N to HQ with you” S/N states in a matter-of-fact tone as Levi sighs. “What time is it?” his voice croaky and muffled from hiding his face in my neck as I lay there slowly trying to fall asleep again.

“Well father it is currently 8:46 in the morning” S/N perks checking the small watch he had on. Hearing Levi grumble incoherently I felt him sit up as the cold air instantly greeted my back. “For once I slept more than usual..” Levi continued as I turn over and loosely wrap my arms around his waist. “Noooo… Don’t goo..” I whimper as Levi chuckles petting my head “too bad F/N, you stay and sleep you lazy yoke while I do the hard work like always since I’m such a great husband” Levi says sarcastically as I roll my eyes.

“Whatever you say great husband”