#cut to end of the game where we lost in OT and i very nearly lost all of the rr i won from the first match

[soft-pwincess]

hello!!! id like to take back the last half hour of my life!!! it was a mistake and i regret it!!

[popculturebuffet]

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers (DT17 Season 2 Retrospective): The Most Dangerous Game Night! (Paid for by WeirdKev27)

Welcome all you happy people! As some of you will recall I do a lot of duck based retrospectives on this blog: Ride of the Three Cablleros! which took a look at all the Cabs major American adventures, Shadow Into Light, my Weblena colored look at Lena Sabrewing’s journey from abused teenager to magical protector, and the Della arc which I dind’t give a cool name but covered since Shadow Into Light read right into it’s final chapter and ended up perfectly synching up with the final month of the series. And of course i’m still working my way through the life and times of Scrooge McDuck with a plan to finish the main story in September barring any delays, sickness that sorta thing.

So it shouldn’t be at all a shock that having covered all of season 3 when it came out and covered the two season 1 arcs i’d be taking a look at Season 2′s three story arcs. So I probably would’ve covered them anyway.. but Kev, one of my patreons and the guy who commissioned Shadow Into Light AND Ride of the Three Cablleros, had expressed interest in doing the Glomgold arc from season 2 as it centers around his favorite character, Zan Owlson. He also wanted to do Della’s arc in time for mothers day, and was all too happy to combine both, and politely agreed to my request to do the Louie arc as well. To help soften the blow, I also suggested since he’s a patreon of mine on patreon.com/popculturebuffet he use his second review (You get one guaranteed review a month with 5 and he’s a 10 dollar backer so he gets two, and he’s earmarked marked one for House of Mouse through the end of the year)  to help soften the blow a bit, which means some weeks i’ll be doubling up on this one. He agreed and it’s thanks to him that all of this happened so thanks bud. It’s also thanks to him I have money in the first place and I wouldn’t be here without him.

As for why I insisted on the Louie arc it wasn’t out of greed but out of pragmatism. I covered the Della arc purely on my own time, and gladly did so. But back then I also kept making the mistake of shoving retrospectives back again and again and again and that’s why there’s a rather nasty gap in my New X-Men retrospective I think severely harmed it , and a similar one for life and times which wounded it. I don’t mind taking smaller gaps of say a month when needed, but I learned from the experience I can’t just delay things constantly out of convince and expect it to work.

Not only that but the Lena and Della arcs only interact in the very last part. With these arc? While they don’t really touch at first and run parallel much like season 1′s arcs did, they start intersecting heavily as soon as Della gets back. Raiders of the Doomsday Vault! touches on both Della’s recent return and Glomgold’s bet with Scrooge, Happy Birthday Doofus Drake! has the A-Plot centered around Louie’s plot and the B-Plot centered around Della bonding with Huey as part of hers. And the final four is one one long, sustained arc, finishing up all three in the process. So yeah it was a package deal and as such this will be my third largest retrospective at 17 parts including the prologue. (As i’ll also be covering Della’s four issues in the IDW Comic released back in season 1). For the record my largest will be my Tom Lucitor Retrospective as 24 (in part due to doing the eclipsa arc for the same reasons as Dellas), and ride of the three cablleros at 20 is in a close second. This is going to be a long ride that will take most of summer, so buckle up, get your Louie Inc signs, Glomgold’ posters to jump through and black licorice gum ready and join me won’t you under the cut as we start this fantastic adventure together.

We open season 2 with all but one of our heroes proudly posing as they enter a temple. Scrooge even has his treasure of the lost lamp outfit on. Louie.. just looks tired and bored. One of the things I love about these reviews is that I haven’t watched most of the episodes since they first aired. Sure i’ve revisited some of my favorites like Dangerous Chemistry and the 87 Cent Solution,  but I haven’t really DONE a full died in wool episode by episode rewatch of the series. I’ve got SO MUCH I haven’t watched, haven’t rewatched and haven’t even started, that I really DON’T have the time for it outside of my job. So it is VERY nice to get a chance to do so once in a while with it.

As such knowing Louie’s real motive this episode it makes this scene hit diffrently. On first airing Ducktales was back after a short hiatus, our heroes are operating at full speed and daringly charting through a temple: Dewey and Webby have become tighter than ever and easily stop a pit trap and Scrooge and Huey easily solve an arrow puzzle. But while at first glance Louie is just fed up because as he puts it later “I’m just loveably lazy”, knowing he’s really just burnt out, scared he’s going to die or worse like he likely thinks his Mom did because he’s not good enough.. it’s really tearjerking. Here’s an 11 year old who at his core feels he doesn’t belong in his family and just wants a friggin break from the dangerous shit they do. It hits even harder as a fan of the venture bros but i’ll save that for later. Point is he’s telling Scrooge he’s burnt out.

So then this happens...

It really is almost the exact same joke, but diffrent enough since for one, Family Guy’s is driven by the refrenece (And god how I miss how their refrence humor used to have an actual purpose), where as here it’s to set up something else and hints for later: Louie having parsed how most adventures to at this point. While Scrooge is right in pointing out how every adventure is unique.. Louie’s not wrong that there is a small pattern to it: The Whoah! , The “Wait, What?” and the Aggggh!. Scrooge scoffs.. but Louie is proven correct as Dewey Whoas, a mechanisim trggers (Wait what?”) And everyone screams as they run from a giant wheel.

Back at home though it’s even more apparent poor Louie is miserable while his family is just jazzed. I can’t BLAME THEM, but I can’t blame him either for being, tired, worn out and just wanting ONE minute where they aren’t adventuering. There are some nice touches though as Scrooge runs off and finds a map in the idol: We see Duckworth removing the Scrooge as a Prospector painting based on Carl Bark’s painting of him from the foyer and instead replacing it with the painting of Scrooge, Donald and Della. It’s a nice little acknowledgment of how things have changed.. from Scrooge being alone and running from a painful past to having accepted it and gone back to being a family man. We also get Beakley just casually picking up Louie to vacum.

In the Triplet’s room.. which by the way why do they all share one room? In universe I mean, I mean is it saving on the power bill or does scrooge have the other rooms filled. Only four bedrooms are occupied: the boys, webby’s , Beakly’s (Which we never see but implicitly exists), and Scrooge’s himself. While the mansion isn’t LIMITLESS, it has to have more rooms than that. Is the rest just storage?

Out of universe though I do get why and i’ts why I let this concept of sharing a room when you have enough for everyone in the first place slide: it allows the boys to interact more easily outside of adventures by having all three in the same location. This episode is a good example of that as it kicks off Louie’s plan admirably: Louie is burnt out while Huey is excited.. and in another hint of Louie’s true gift he casually notices part of Dewey’s woodchuck uniform he was looking after is undone, simply making a quip about a sewing patch. He gets the idea for a scheme from there: to finally get his break by convincing Huey he’s slipping and exploiting his brother’s tendency for manic episodes.. which as someone with those I highly don’t approve and is far and away one of the more questionable things Louie’s done. And this is in an arc that includes him nearly wiping out all of existence.

Still it gets Huey on board but Scrooge and the wonder twins are a harder sell. Dewey and Webby are so jazzed on frinedship their even speaking in unions “This Needs to stop!” “I’ve tried but they really do enjoy harmonizing”

Louie insists the adventuring is driving them apart and making them less close.. and while Scrooge insits it brings them closer together  he ends up proving his point when Louie fakes not knowing which triplet is which.. and Scrooge GENUINELY struggles with which one’s Huey and Which ones Dewey. Dewey’s face is at the top of the page.. and utterly and completely priceless.

And while I thought it was the same impressive face from night on Kilmotor hill turns out, nerp their uniquely hilaroius

Same mood though. But I do love this callback: almost a YEAR later, and Scrooge STILL is like...

But while movie night and make your own pizza night, which i’m pleased as punch to find isn’t just something my family does, don’t do anything one thing does... GAME NIGHT. Cue a glorious minute of David Tennant goofily shouting Game Night to everyone in the mansion. Seriously getting him was one of the series masterstrokes. The man has only done a few roles in voicework but damn is he a natural. Not eveyrone can adapt to it this fast. While I love Walton Goggins, it clearly took him a few episodes of invincible to get really comfortable with it. It’s why I have such respect for Voice Actors in general: I’ts not an easy job, it takes a lot of skill, and it can be often thankless. It’s also why i’ve made a concentrated effort ot more know of them by voice simply because they’ve earned that much.

Anyways Beakly pops Louie’s bubble that htis is not going to be relaxing for a very obvious reason: Scrooge is relentless against his enmies and game night makes YOU the enemy. He quickly has them pair off into teams, taking Donald right off the bat.

We also get one of the best jokes in the entire series “If you loose your out of the will” “(Genuinely suprised) I was in the will?”

It’s almost entriely in Tony’s delivery there. The surprise is just perfectly delivered. It’s also oddly touching as despite a decade’s estrangement and Donald understandably thinking he wasn’t in it in anymore, Scrooge NEVER removed Donald from it . Sure he’s thretaning it over game night but he clearly takes this ungodly seriously. Duckworth leaves to go do ghost stuff.. which is code for make up a flimsy excuse to run the fuck away. To make matters worse she’s stuck with Launchpad as a partner. Louie is left with Huey and immieditly regrets sending his brother into a panicy spiral as he’s already set up a creepy scheduling board.

So i’m going to go ahead and cover the Webby and Dewey Plot, and the acompanying Donald and Scrooge antics now to save us some time. I’ll come back to it at the climax of Louie’s plot obviously and to the episodes credit the pacing is exceptional, weaving in and out of both plots , Louie struggling to keep the whole shrinking plot a secret and the rest of the families game night, excelently, it’s just with my brain i’ts harder to do that in a recap so...

Game Night: Crush Your Enmies and See Them Driven Before You Scrooge goes to the Conan of Sumeria/Melissa School of Game Nighting. Or in short...

Why HASN’T there been a Conan musical? So he and Donald dominate the first round, Charades, with Scrooge easily guessing almost EVERYHTING Donald mimes. As Webby puts it “When you’ve been around donald for 30 years you get good at non-verbal commuincation”. Granted they have a commuincation breakdown that results in this magic.

So Webby understandably assumes that given their best friends and Scrooge and Donald, while reconciled, hate each other, that they have an advantage. She is wrong. Not the first time: she also assumed she and Lena were just friends. It happens. you get a few wrong everyone does. Instead we get a great bit of Dewey utterly failing to guess it’s Scrooge despite Webby being obvious because Dewey’s brain is a riddle for the ages. 

Jenga dosen’t really go great for either so they go solo for SCROOGEPOLY. Because of COURSE Scrooge created monopoly in this version. I simletaniously love and hate how eveyr piece is a top hat. I love it because it’s a hilarously quick gag.. but also hate it because one of Monopoly’s biggest draws is having so many diffrent peices. I mean some like the sports car make sense but then you have a dog for some reason and an ironing board. I mean I love that dog, he’s a good boy but I don’t understand why he’s in this. If anyone knows the weird old timey reasoning for either of these let me know in the replies or my asks. 

This isn’t bad stuff mind, it’s just not really deep in stuff for me to make fun of. Apart from Donald ending up in jail... again. At least it’s not as bad as say goblin jail or that time he had to carve pinocchio’s nose into a shiv to surivive whale jail.

Louie: “How Long Before That’s Not Enough?”

Okay I kid, the subplot is good.. but that’s th epotatoes.. this is the potatoes iwth cheese.. look I love meat but potatoes don’t get enough love. They just don’t and you can do all kinds of delicious things to them. It’s why a good third of side dishes at most restaurants are potato based. 

But yeah rolling it back a bit Louie is confident that even with the  this will be mildly relaxing.. then Gyro bursts in thorugh the double doors proudly announcing his invention and pries himself in, ignoring Louie’s desperate attempts to shut him out.

 Gyro is.. different in this episode. He’s peppy and while he’s mildly condescnding to the Gyropludians, more no that in a second, he’s far more enthuastic and freindly to everyone else and less of the awkward ballbag he’d been last season and would be again this season.

This feels like an ATTEMPTED course correct. See a lot of people, if understandably didn’t like how Gyro was in season 1. Fan of the original him from the comics and show iddn’t like the nice, friendly weirdo suddenly being a sour, condesencindg weirdo. Me I was FINE with the change from unintentional mad scientist to intentional one... I just feel they overdid it on the asshole as season 1 went on. In The Great Dime Chase he’s fine, he’s egosticial, angry and kind of a pill.. but he also clearly cares for his creations, rightfully hates the board for constantly doubting him, and is frustrated his creations keep going rouge. It was a nice balance. 

The balance got thrown off entirely however once Fenton entered the scene. The crew just leaned WAY to hard into hwo much of a shitweasel he was to fenton: giving him an office in the bathroom with a cool quip, trying to beat him up (even if his rage over Fenton’s dumbassery was warranted that was not), and finally trying to take the gizmoduck armor back not out of any real concerns but because he’s worried he’ll loose his job... his job iwth the man who freely tolerates his creations going insane and really dosen’t care about his own colateral let alone Gyro’s. It came off as disngenous and that he simply didn’t trust FENTON with it and wanted and excuse to take the armor Fenton had clearly earned. He also pit manny and bulb against each other for a job which just felt out of character even for him to possibly fire one of his children which felt horribly out of character. Toniing this down was a good thing.. I just feel they overcorrected. They tried making him the 80′s version with a slight ego here, and when that didn’t work they just downplayed him for the rest of the season. He’s still around, in fact we’ll be seeing him again soon enough, and he still gets some great jokes... he’s just not really focused on at all. But they managed to fix their fix in season 3: they did have Gyro be a dick to Fenton again but gave proper context, had him apologize and framed it less as a funny joke and more as him being abusive because he was abused himself and breaking the cycle. He also kept the supporting role but kept the shadiness in it, with the earpiece bit from “Louie’s Eleven” being a highlight. 

Gyro has a new device that can pick up tiny sounds and has found a tiny civilization in the ducks house, dubbing them Gyropudlians because he apparnetly likes Gullivers Travels. I do not really know what that’s about, nor have I seen any of the movies. Not even the jack black one made on a dare to see if they could actually sell a movie on the concept “This old story but as a jack black comedy”. And it went horribly wrong because they actually did get it greenlit and someone out there actually watched it. Not me... and I watched the Wrong MIssy entirely of my own volition. I’m not immune from making eye staining mistakes. This just wasn’t one of them. 

Gyro ends up getting shrunk down because he naturally attached a shrink ray to it because...

So Louie shrugs it off correctly figuring out the arc of that sort of story: Gyro becomes a god, he learns a life lesson that sort of thing. Also I do applaud them for making the lost tribe not horribly racist.. that is a hard line to walk. They just make them generic instead which.. still better than racist. “Not Racist” isn’t a very high bar to clear but given this version went out of it’s way to be inclusive while the original show.. what’s a good metaphor for this.. hrmmm... these rakes are all the racism in the original show i’ve encoungered so far and probably will in the future, and i’m sideshow bob. 

Eventually though the Gyropudlians decide to decalre war on the giants because unknowingly the Ducks have been destroying their civilizations time and time again.. mostly louie but donald clearly peed a civiliztion to death..and i’m not grasping at straws there he left the bathroom and the other two possiblities for the floating city are too horrible to comprehend. Or it was just the sink and i’m a bastard... i’m probably a bastard.

So they blast the shrink ray around the kitchen and get Launchpad, so now he’s a part of this cliche. Beakly finds them.. is highly supscious, and Huey’s lie is.. not convincing... but this gets her out of game night with her overcompeitive boss so she takes the out and gets the fuck out and is not seen for the rest of the episode.. probably for several days. Look she does a lot around the house no one’s going to question if she comes back after a mysteirous absence with someone elses blood on her apron and several thousnd ddollars in brazilian cocaine. The sweetest cocaine of all. Scrooge is just used to it by now. 

Anyways things continue to escalate as The Gyropuldians, Launchpad and Gyro launch an assault on the tower of infinity, aka the jenga tower and knock it over. The Good news is launchpad surivives and we get a great bit of the brothers hugging then awkarly and half assedly explaning it to cover. the bad news is the Gyropudlians considered it an act of war and have trained some flies to man the microphone shrink ray dealie. 

It’s here we get the best scene of the episode: Huey is naturally worried.. even more so after he sees Louie’s response to the unfolding chaos: Curling up in a fetal position and rocking back in forth muttering to himself this was supposed to be a fun night in. Huey finally has had enough of this and wants to knwo wha tthe hell this is all about, shooting down Louie attempting to deflect it with his usual lazy schtick. Even at his laziest he’d pride self preservation over doing nothing. This is something worse. And while Huey is furious his rage is coming out of concern. While Huey prides himself on his brain... he has the biggest heart of the three. He’s the most empathetic and the one most willing to reach out to the others when they need him. Not that hte others lack it, Dewey was the one to welcome Webby into the group the most after all, it’s just Huey displays it the most. So his anger comes off entirely as genuine worry at Louie acting out of character and trying to avoid doing what eveyrone else does. And his response.. is heartbreaking...

“BECAUSE I’MMom was great at adventuring, and she still got hurt. I'm only good at talking my way out of it. How long before that's not enough? NOT GOOD AT IT OKAY?!” 

Bobby Monihan.. really dosen’t get enough credit for this show. When he gets to really do something big with Louie he goes for it and he uttelry dominates the scnee here. Danny Pudi is no slouch mind.. but Monihan REALLy gets to show what he can do. His reasoning for his worries is also just as well delivered and heartbreaking. 

“Mom was great at adventuring, and she still got hurt. I'm only good at talking my way out of it. How long before that's not enough?“

It just.. stings a lot. To find that Louie’s exaustion wasn’t out of self intrest.. but just out of fear. That he won’t be good enough at best and that he’ll end up like his mom: lost or dead never to be seen again as far as he figures. As a third of this arc will bear out, tha’ts not even remotely true, but out of the three Louie is the most pragmatic so while he says hurt.. he thinks she’s dead. And if she, someone as capable as scrooge or as close as someone whose not him can be, could end up dead... he’s living on borrowed time. 

This is where the Venture bros comparison really comes out to me... because they had a similar if more spread out storyline in season 5, with bookish brother Dean, Huey if he lacked autisim but gained 80 dozen more issues, found out he and his brother Hank, aka Dewey in his teens, were clones because his dad is really bad at keeping his sons alive because he’s also bad at everything else including science, parenting, being emotinally open, making a cocktail that isn’t a crime against nature, sex, and not treating hank like garbage, which should fall under shitty parenting but I love my empty headed boy.

So why bring this up? Well besides self indulgance because I love both shows iwth a signifgant portion of my heart and frank flat out admitted to being a venture bros fan, and having Beakly take some cues from Brock, I love the accidental parallels here: both are arcs about a boy adventuer coming to grips with their mortality. Both withdraw, both are heavily depressed and both feel there’s no real light at the end of the tunnel for htem anymore. 

And both.. are drawn out of it the same way.. by a concerned brother pulling them out of their misery and self doubt:

It’s the same here... Huey helps Louie through it, understanding how he feels.. and like Hank did for Dean, proving to Louie he’s not alone. He points out that yes Della did get hurt.. but it’s because she went in alone. He’s got his family.. they won’t let him get lost or die.. because their not alone. The reason they can do all this stuff is because their together. Their all amazing alone.. but together their unstoppable. And i’ts fine Louie’s afraid.. but he can’t let that fear kill everyone he cares about.

So our boys run upstairs, but are a second too late as the gyro pudlians shrink the other four down, and the duo’s attempt to grow them just makes one of the gyropudlians giant instead. With things at their grimmist.. Louie finds his TRUE talent, looks at the situation. and takes charge. In the span of two minutes he completely turns the tide: he has launchpad crash his way out, which he does by pure accident because of course he does he’s nature’s perfect Himbo. He next has Donald and scrooge take on some guards to give Dewey and Webby some room and has Huey take out the giant with his sewing. His final part is to have Dewey and Webby work their way up to the ray gun.. which is a probelma s both have lost all confidence due to realizing they have nothing in common and can’t fathom how their friends. Scrooge’s reply? Of course their not.. THEIR FAMILY. It was then that a thousand debbigail shippers cried out and were silenced... I know I was one of them. I couldn’t speak for about a minute. It was awful. 

And yeah.. I had been shipping Dewey and Webby up to this point, but it was becoming increasingly obvious they were being treated like brother and sister and then this happened. And in hindsight i’m glad I jumepd the hell off as they turne dout ot be blood related so I dodged a bullet there an found better ships for both. So no harm no F.O.W.L. clone accidental incest. 

Realizing this the two find their second wind and save the day. OUr heroes are restored and things are good.

The next day, Louie faces the music with Scrooge and is terrified, not helped by Scrooge being dead serious... but his worries are for naught. Scrooge instead only has one thing to say

“You saw all the angles”

Something the crew conciously did was have each of the kids mimic one of Scrooge’s tennants, something that was heavily implied before but made fully explicit here: Dewey is toughter than the toughies, Huey is Smarter than the smarties... and Louie is the oft forgotten Sharper than the sharpies. Scrooge even lampshades how that part of his motto is often left out. And of course as frank made clear post series, Webby made her way into the family Square. 

But back to the sharpie thing, I like this because it defines what that truly means, as it often comes off as similar to the smartie bit hence i’ts exclusion: It’s the ablitliyt to think quickly, strategize, a strategic, critical mind that can come up with a gambit in an instant and use everyone to the best of their abillity. It’s why for an example, Scott Summers is one of my faviorite x-men. Because while his eye laser things are impressive it’s this kind of cleverness and tactical insight, seeing all the pieces on the board and easily manuvering them, friend and foe, that makes him so awesome. And as scrooge muses it could make Louie even richer than he is. And in a truly touching gesture, Scrooge gives Louie the idol, confident in his Nephew’s potetial. His mother reached hers... he only needs time. So with that Louie’s arc truly begins and he hangs a shingle on the triplets door. Louie inc is born. 

Final Thoughts: This episode caught me by suprise: I remember it being decent.. but damn if it wasn’t amazing on the rewatch, with the knowledge of Louie’s weakness helping but really it’s just a funny, tightly paced half hour of television. It has great jokes, a great emtoinal arc and in general is jsut well.. great. I didn’t see this poteitial the first time because I was more hung up on fethry finally appearing, the cabs finally appearing.. all the things in the distance after this ep. But this ep is just damn good and I wish i’d put it on my best of list. Top shelf stuff.

Next time on Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers: The second arc starts up as FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD returns as an amensiac south african fisherman and it’s up to Webby and Louie to unravel his past to figure out why he’s acting like this and if this is another one of his insane schemes. We also meet Zan Owlson buisnesswoman of the year and person about to go through some undeserved shit at the hands of a stupid man.  Later Today: We return to Amity Park for more Danny Phantom and meet his second most intresting enemy as an innocent fuckup turns a spoiled brat into one of most dangerous enemies. Also PUPPIES and Tucker being the worst. 

Wednsday: We grab onto some more ducktales as Donald returns to Ducktales 87. And judging by the content warning so does racisim. 

If you liked this review stop my patreon RIGHT HERE. Seriously please do: you’ll find exclusive reviews, and if you join you’ll get acess to my discord, get to pick a short for my shortstravganzas, and help me reach my strech goals. And at my next one at 20, just 5 dollars away, ALL READERS will get a darkwing duck review a month and reivews of the two ducktales movie as well as the Danny Phantom TV Movie the ultimate enemy! 

See you at the next rainbow!

[lohst-in-time]

exit82 be more chill - a written bootleg

ACT ONE

first of all i’d like to say that the cheering was not nearly as excessive as tumblr led me to believe it wasn’t that bad and i could hear all the lines so!!! comfort to y’all

*spooky theramin hell dream commence*

JERE HAD THE VOICE OF A GOD, A VERY NERDY SMALL GINGER GOD

okay but the dad though we have to admire his skill to put on his pants so quickly to go and be a bus driver

the whole time brooke chloe and jenna are having their conversation jere is just awkwardly trying to discreetly slide his hand to his locker and honestly me

also brooke just like skips everywhere it’s adorable

everyone was just glancing around at each other while rich wrote boyf on the backpack like 👀👀👀👀👀

this jake definitely did a totally different thing for his jake than jake boyd but i LOVED it and he was really great!!!

the set for this was so versatile and stuff like they turned around the lockers and BAM there’s the play signup sheet it was cool as hell

jeremy does this cute cut-off gesture on “end scene” and it’s A+

C H R I S T I N E

oh my god where do i start with christine her overalls were great, her cat stockings were great, her voice was AMAZING like honestly y’all she was a blessing

SO LIKE i was sitting right by this exit door and turns out it’s where a L O T of people enter from so michael walked in all casually with his slushy right in front of me and i was n o t p r e p a r e d

michael was acting so high during his part it was great

MICHAEL MAKES KISSY FACES AT JERE FOR THE BOYF RIENDS PART AND I MEAN IT WAS PLAYED FOR LAUGHS BUT STILL

also when jere says his whole “i hate this school” thing michael just kinda smiles and shrugs so that was NICE

i can confirm that christine signing up for the play in this production is just as extra as it was in the original production

chloe’s “i like gay people” was like really loud it was great

can yall believe im still only in the first song

also the ensemble peeps were A++ i loved them

for the scene before play rehearsal there’s a whiteboard with drama club written on it in cute lettering and it’s great

CHRISTINE IS GOD

the whole song jeremy is just watching christine with a goofy grin like heck yeah i love this human and it’s adorable i loved it so much!!

christine’s NOISES!!!!!! A++++++

at the end with the “we’re starting” christine just kept pausing at staring at the whiteboard expectantly until she turns to jere and is like “soooooon” and it was both pure and hilarious

MR REYES HAD LIKE A MULLET/PONYTAIL COMBINATION WIG THING AND IT WAS AMAZING

when mr reyes says the thing about frisbee golf this ensemble guy just goes like “yeah!!” it was great

christine looked so genuinely distraught over midsummer nightmare with zombies

also when mr reyes announces it he flips the whiteboard to reveal midsummer nightmare with zombies written in like this beautiful calligraphy it was blessed

he’s so aggressive with “THE MAN IS DEAD LET IT GO” oh my god

so in this version jake is way more just obviously hitting on christine rather than genuinely saying all the stuff about romeo and juliet and i don’t know how i feel about it but he delivered it really well so !!!!!!

the audience audibly sadly awwed when christine didn’t notice jeremy speaking

RICHARD FUCKIN GORANSKI OH MY GODNESS

the lisp is alive and well by the way

fRESHMAN YEEAR

basically the squip song was very extra i loved it

everyone was so excited at the “its from japan”

RICH JUST WIPES HIS PISS HANDS ON JEREMYS FACE AND SHIRT WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD

DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO

michael just deadass lights a blunt during two player game it’s hilarious

the pacman tattoo is confirmed to be on michael’s right arm i took note

MICHAEL DABBED TWICE

on the line “i wanna move on” jeremy just sorta whinily shakes michael’s arm it’s great

during the favorite person part michael just lowkey rests his head on jere’s shoulder and is promptly playfully shoved so that he falls facefirst into the two bean bags and he just sorta lays there for a bit it’s amazing

for the final chorus part thing they both just do these ridiculous karate moves and shit in the front while video game characters take off the set it’s so extra and blessed i loved it

tHERES TWO SALESPEOPLE

instead of the sideburns comment jeremy just awkwardly says “so, my chemical romance right” it was the best

when jeremy opens the shoebox michael in the background just lowkey moves his phone up in the air and takes a picture then looks really satisfied and pleased with it

press f to pay respects to jeremy’s bar mitzvah money

the squip looks just like this cool villainy dude at first but over the course of the show he slowly gets more and more squippy and villainy looking it’s so FUCKIN COOL

also when the squip first shows up little drop down things on the ceiling of the squip wire shit shows up and there’s also more big ones that show up in upgrade it’s just a cool lil thing that i liked

the squip squat-sits a lot. just a psa

AT THE “SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME” PART JEREMY STRAIGHT UP FLIPS THESE CLOTHES IN THE AIR AND FLAILS AROUND ON THE GROUND WHAT THE FUCK JEREMIAH

do you wanna ride was both uncomfortable and hilarious at the same time it was p amazing

there were these short pauses in between each “in” in pinkberry at the end it was super funny

at the end of be more chill part two when everyone sets jeremy down on the bed the squip says like “be careful with him he’s delicate”

jere: *aggressively tapping his head* hellooo are you on? mr heere: son are you talking to yourself again jere: i...guess i am mr heere: okay

from now on jeremy wears his eminem shirt AND this black coat vest thing it actually looks pretty good

at play rehearsal everyone does southern accents during their lines it’s amazing

“cough.”

JEREMY AND CHRISTINE SLOW DANCE DURING GUY I’D KINDA BE INTO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

“im sorry i don’t know why im crying” BIG MOOD JEREMIAH

“noooooooo....ot exactly”

jere is forced to make out with brooke and he clearly looks very uncomfortable and i felt so bad jvnghfkd

“that...that’s illegal” “yeah, it’s totally illegal!” SHFGJSCKISFTDYIDV

everyone highkey gasped/sadly awwed when jere said optic nerve blocking on

ACT TWO

brooke’s sexy dog costume jvndhdksj

RICH DEADASS HAS A FUCKIN BAGUETTE MACHETE I DIED

I AM IM READY FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN PARTY

“i do not understand the request” YES YOU FUCKIN DO SHUT UP TIC TAC MAN

*bathtub prop is brought onstage* FUCK IM NOT EMOTIONALLY READY-

NOT ONLY DOES JEREMY CALL HIM A LOSER BUT HE SHOVES HIM INTO THE BATHTUB TOO OH MY GOD NO

the audience reaction was INSANE people were ooing and awwing and gasping all around me and it was surreal as fuck

THIS BOY MIKEY WAS L I T E R A L L Y CHOKING BACK THE TEARS HE SOUNDED SO UPSET I CANT DESCRIBE IT ACCURATELY BUT HE SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS ACTUALLY SOBBING IT HURT ME

by the way this dude has the voice of an angel. of a god. a god angel. an angel god.

christine and jeremy’s weird noise exchange was the cutest damn thing ever

everyone in the audience sounded so sad when christine said no to going out with jeremy but i mean WE WERE SAD EVEN THOUGH MOST OF US KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN

SMARTPHONE HOUR WAS HYPE AS SHIT OKAY ALSO THE DRAG REPRESENTATION WAS LIVING

they all start out in bathrobes and stuff (LIKE I ALWAYS PICTURED IT TOO I WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING!!!) then they take them off to reveal these like shiny elastic outfits like in a zumba class or something it was amazing

BROOKE DROPPING HER PHONE THEN SCREECHING AND DIVING AFTER IT IS M Y NEW AESTHETIC

okay but when the squip walks out for the scene before pitiful children he looks like a straight up evil electronic BADASS he got Cloaks For Days (also his makeup was On Point the whole show so just sayin)

everyone in the audience made sad noises when jenna said her line about knowing everyone’s business but honestly i felt a Sad at that part

JENNA NAILED THOSE HIGH NOTES also she just deadass pulled the Mountain Dew out of her coat jvnghfk

LIGHT UP SHOES DURING PITIFUL CHILDREN THIS IS NOT A DRILL EVERYONE

THE PANTS SONG WAS AMAZING also michael was super defensive when mr heere asked if he loved jeremy like he super quickly was like “NO” i just thought it was intriguing

JERES COSTUME ON MR REYES WAS SO SMALL HIS SHIRT WAS LITERALLY A CROP TOP

during the rich flashback the play background curtain thing comes down a bit to show the flashback and then comes back up it was cool

“MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE” “AAAAAAAAAAAAA”

THE KUNG FU FIGHT THING also michael still keeps jeremy in this body hug thing to keep him restrained long after he needs to be just something i noticed

during the “confession” part christine and jeremy slow dance again BUT i paid attention to michael in the background and he looked DISTRAUGHT i deadass actually saw him wipe a tear and start walking away (before coming back when jere gives her the mountain dew red) and HOLY SHIT YALL I WAS HURT

michael is just left in this pile of bodies and he literally just shouts “OH FUCK” and honestly SAME

R I C H A R D oh my god first of all this whole scene he is like just smiling his ass off in this full body cast and the lisp was super alive and everyone lost their SHIT at the totally bi part it was so great and when michael comes in he’s like so excitedly ranting about what happened that he fuckin shakes jere’s hospital bed it was great ALSO IM ALMOST POSITIVE THAT RICH WAS WEARING AN LGBT SHIRT FOR VOICES IN MY HEAD CAN SOMEONE HELP CONFIRM THIS

i have never heard so many people gasp because of a man walking onstage wearing pants

BROOKE AND CHLOE SWITCHED SHIRTS THIS IS NOT A DRILL

i was really glad that everyone including michael were so happy for jeremy and christine it was pure

im emotionally worn out that was a ride thanks for listening hope yall will be able to visually see this beauty someday

[1inawesomewonder]

The 2010 Manchester Flames entered the GSL State Tournament as the #1 seed. They traveled to Rochester, NH on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to play in the tournament. The 2010 Flames would end up in the final on Sunday night and battle for the title.

The Flames ended up winning their first game against #6 Rochester, 6-2. Then they lost on Saturday to #3 Upper Valley, 1-0 in a game where they were completely smothered and barely even had any shots on goal. Sunday afternoon they beat #2 Lakes Region, 3-0 to advance to the Championship Game. In the Final, they played Upper Valley again. It was probably the best game of the tournament with two teams playing their hearts out. With a game of such magnitude on the line, regulation time would not suffice, so they played overtime. With 1:06 left in the OT, Upper Valley scored on a bouncing, rolling puck that found its way into the net, earning a 4-3 victory. The 2010 Flames had given their all and fell just short of their goal.

For a team that rostered several kids that had never played team hockey before this season, it’s been a tremendous season of development for this group. I look forward to seeing these kids continue to love the game and to see where they go from here. We are very fortunate to be a part of the group we have. I can tell you from many years of coaching kids and watching kids play team sports that this entire hockey family is special, this is not the norm. We are grateful.

To the coaches I thank you for your collective approach with these youngsters over the last 6 months. I fully believe that great players first just need to be allowed and encouraged to be fun loving kids. There should be no rush to push these young players to become hardened, jaded young adults trying to actualize someone else’s goals or vanished dreams. I feel that they’ve been able to fall in love with the game while working tirelessly for love of the game and maybe more so for one another. All of this, within an environment that you coaches have fostered. A safe place where young, impressionable kids can thrive without fear of an almighty agenda and dare to dream their own dreams. Thank you all for that.

Please take a moment or two to enjoy some pictures from the GSL Tournament games. Click on the gallery and then specific pictures to enlarge if you wish.

Game One: Flames 6 – Rochester 2

#gallery-0-13 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-13 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 25%; } #gallery-0-13 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-13 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Opening face-off for the Flames in their first ever GSL Tournament.

James scores from the crease after a rush by Austin.

Throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care.

Luke comes pretty close to a goal on this play.

Austin plays lead goose in the famous ‘V formation’.

Colby fires a shot in front of the Flames faithful out in Rochester.

Two on none. The Flames did not score on this play.

Here the Flames hit the post with a shot that got past the goaltender.

Austin feeds James with a pass that led directly to the Flames second goal of the game.

Travis makes a right pad save on this shot. Meanwhile the referee skids to a stop on his snowboard.

Travis gets a piece of this shot with his glove and keeps it out of the net.

Austin and the Flames score on this play with just about everyone in on the rush.

Shot on goal for the Flames.

Somehow this shot from Beal did not get into the net, but the Flames kept on firing.

Rochester had the numbers in their favor but the Flames kept the puck out of the net.

Drew and Austin out for a beautiful pairs skate in the middle of the game.

I had heard the legends but didn’t believe them. Then I had this opportunity to spot the rarely, if ever seen, ‘2-sticked player of the Lilac City’.

Finley leads a rush up ice and gets a shot on goal for the Flames.

Travis makes an interesting save while a Rochester player stands wide open.

This puck slips past the goalie for a Flames goal.

Let the celebration begin!

The Flames salute Travis and themselves for their opening game win at the GSL Tourney.

Game Two: Flames 0 – Upper Valley 1

#gallery-0-14 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-14 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-14 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-14 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Ian gets one of the few shots on goal that the Flames were allowed in this game.

This was the only goal of the game and you can see there weren’t many Flames defending on this play.

The Flames came close on this chance with Drew and Gavin.

So Drew grabbed the puck and tried a different approach.

Travis and the Flames just barely survived this scoring chance from Upper Valley.

The Flames are bunched up as Austin prepares to shoot through layers. Can you spot the French flag?

Travis makes a great save on Gillies, who, as you may have noticed, was a threat to score throughout the game.

Logan takes a shot through Upper Valley traffic. They always had someone back on D.

Travis makes another save to keep the Flames within one goal of tying the game.

The puck is in the air and Drew tries to get a handle on it for an offensive chance.

Last line of defense and Travis kept this scoring chance out of the net.

Dube was wide open but the puck got through him.

Semi-Finals: Flames 3 – Lakes Region 0

#gallery-0-15 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-15 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-15 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-15 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

This Flames scoring chance looked good from where I stood.

Colby cuts through center ice for the Flames.

The Flames get on the board first and they were pretty happy about it.

James shows off his strength with this one handed wrap around clearing attempt.

The Mighty Fin and Garrett work on their cheerleading routine. One leans left while the other leans right, and so on.

Teddy and Garrett got pretty close but could not get the puck over the goal line.

And then, all of the sudden, everyone started skating full speed right at me.

Here comes the Flames and the coach has got their back.

The Flames out in Rochester at the old barn, and their both looking pretty good.

The Flames look to create some offense but the spacing isn’t quite there yet.

Four defenders go to one side and two open Flames go to the net but they couldn’t connect on this play.

Jordan came over and asked me what I thought of his centering pass, and I said, “Nice pass 9.”

Luke hustles back to the defensive end.

Teddy has a step on the defense but he couldn’t get around the corner with the puck.

Here I took a turn playing net while Travis made a quick run to the concession stand for me. I mean, I was buying.

This is the cover photo for upcoming album from Travis, ‘Goalie Moves’. He was inspired by Bob Seger’s ‘Night Moves’ album.

Old Glory, new LED lights, and a netminder with a view.

James takes a shot but the Flames really could use some traffic in front of the net.

Colby steps up to play some defense and yells, “Donde estás hermano?” Looking for Jax.

Travis stands in and takes this shot head on. There was no rebound.

Teddy was at the net mouth when the puck went in, and he got the celebration started pronto.

Austin scored the Flames goal and there was some high-steppin hand shakin goin on.

Logan turns the corner but Travis had everything under control.

Colby makes a nice stick check on the puck and the whole team looks quite attentive.

Flames win! Travis celebrates.

Flames celebrate as a team and I love the look on Colby’s face.

Drew and Kayden get in on the action as the Flames get ready to shake hands.

Finals: Flames 3 – Upper Valley 4 (OT)

#gallery-0-16 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-16 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-16 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-16 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

With the lineups announced it was time for our Anthem and the beautiful Old Glory.

Flames gather around to make sure that Travis is well taken care of.

Austin and the Flames get on the board out in Rochester

Travis holds onto the puck just above his glove and immediately nods off.

Symmetry, reflections, the puck and a forward cutting to the net.

Finley keeps the puck in the zone, right in front of the ‘Beard Section’ at Rochester Arena.

Austin gets the puck past the goaltender and the Flames go up 2-0.

Celebrating the Flames second goal of the game.

Travis makes an acrobatic save. I tried this move once and ended up in traction for nearly a decade.

Because the name on the front should carry more weight than the name on the back. All for one.

Drew went into stealth mode and tried to sneak past the enemy lines with the puck.

This is your everyday Championship Game action shot. I don’t know why, it just is.

The Flames get after the puck while Jordan flashes a glance at his mom and channels “I love you Mom” to her.

Colby takes a shot and when he learns to get his hips rotated his shot will be a rocket.

Teddy comes over to grab the puck along the boards.

The Flames get some defense back and in front of Travis on this play.

Jordan carries the puck up ice and looks for opportunity.

Colby definitely stole the show in the Mr. Congeniality Contest.

James steps up to break up a play on defense.

Finley and Travis take away angles as the puck is centered.

Teddy jammin the crease and the puck pops into the air.

Then Austin and the Flames netted another one.

Travis had the puck cupped with his stick but it was loose and eventually got pushed into the net to tie the game.

Travis gets some help from his defense in the Overtime.

Manchester Flames 2nd Place.

Manchester Flames 2bd Place.

2010 Flames Win Silver at GSL Tourney The 2010 Manchester Flames entered the GSL State Tournament as the #1 seed. They traveled to Rochester, NH on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to play in the tournament.

[mitchbeck]

CANTLON: PACK KNOCK OFF DEVILS IN FINAL HOME GAME OF THE SEASON

CANTLON: PACK KNOCK OFF DEVILS IN FINAL HOME GAME OF THE SEASON

      VERSUS      

BY: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT - Cole Schneider’s OT game-winner allowed the Hartford Wolf Pack to end their home schedule in winning fashion 2-1 over the Binghamton Devils in the first meeting of the season. The Wolf Pack close out the entire regular season in Binghamton. The Wolf Pack finished their home schedule with a record of 19-6-3-0. Their record sits at .500 at 33-33-6-3. With a win tomorrow, the team will finish above .500, a goal the team has worked toward for the end of this season. “We have had it on the board to get to .500. That’s what we're striving for,” said Schneider, the game’s hero. The game-winner came as Schneider took a lead pass from Chris Bigras at center ice as the Wolf Pack were going for a wholesale change during the three-on-three marched down the right wing was able to stuff in his fifteenth goal of the season off a rebound of his backhander on goaltender Cam Johnson at 1:53. 30 seconds earlier, Johnson stopped Bigras on a breakaway which looked like it could have been the game-winner. For Schneider, it capped a game perfectly where he was voted the Team's MVP by his teammates. “I was happy Biggie didn’t score on the breakaway so I could get out there and get the game winner,” Schneider said with a laugh. He was humbled hearing the announcement of his winning the MVP. “It’s very special to be respected by the guys like that. When your teammates do something like that, you really appreciate it. I look at it as so special. It will really hit me over the summer.” The Pack’s Adam Tambellini had the first solid chance to win the game at 26 seconds of OT with a burst down the left wing that came off a pass from Vinni Lettieri that Johnson stopped. “We had some good chances in the third and got a few early in overtime and Cole Schneider finished it off. I thought we did a solid job all night and were able to pull through for the win." Finishing with a winning home record was also uppermost important to the team. “We talked about it before the game about getting back to .500 (overall) and to finish up strong at home for the fans and we were able to do that,” Schneider stated. Lettieri had two chances in the final two minutes of regulation to win it but came up empty. As awards were announced, Lettieri was named as the Wolf Pack Fan Favorite as voted on by the Pack faithful. “We had some chances where I had more time than I thought. We had chances. Tambo had a good effort on the backhander too against them." Winning The Fan Favorite Award and the support from the faithful meant a lot to Lettieri. “I was very thankful for that. We really appreciate the fans. They helped us a lot this year, whether we were winning or losing, they were there for us. I can’t credit them enough how they were there for us, especially in the second half. We saw more fans coming in and that gave us momentum. On some (nights) they got us fired up and thanks to them for that. We're excited to give them something more to cheer about next year.” Playing a brand new opponent in game 75 was alright with Lettieri. “It was great. In fact, it was kind of refreshing actually to see somebody else. We play Springfield and Bridgeport, what, 50 times this year? So, it was nice to play a new team for a change.” Binghamton nearly won it in the waning seconds of regulation. Christian Bertschy came off the left wing wall and raced to the net. Pack goalie, Alex Georgiev, calmly poke-checked the puck off his stick. In the third period, the Devils tied the game at one late in the period. Nathan Bastian took a short drop pass from Mike MacLeod while Vince Pedrie and Schneider collided while trying to stop MacLeod. Bastian slipped away from Steven Fogarty and sped down the left wing untouched. He then cut across Georgiev and put his shot just under his right pad for his sixth of the season with 5:53 left in the regulation. In the second period, the Wolf Pack held the Devils to just five shots. Part of the reason for the low shot total was strong defensive play inside the Wolf Pack zone from Ryan Lindgren, who did some fine shot blocking on an attempt by Christian Bertschy. They were able to put eleven shots on Johnson including a right-wing drive by Fogarty that was redirected by Dawson Leedahl. Gabriel Fontaine, the winner of the team's Seventh Player Award, was on the third line. He too had a solid opportunity denied by Johnson. The Wolf Pack used their first power play to score the game’s first goal. Bigras got the shot off from the right point. The puck made it through to Fogarty. He won a one-on-one battle and out-positioned and got in-between and behind Devils defenseman Brian Strait, and Tariq Hammond who had lost his stick for a shot that was stopped. Ryan Gropp followed that up with being in a perfect support position behind Fogarty and chipped in his thirteenth of the season at 12:48. This came just after Dan DeSalvo’s shot from the right point was nearly put in by the stick of Devils defenseman, Jagger Dirk. WOLF PACK TEAM AWARD WINNERS: MVP: Cole Schneider 7the Player Award: Gabriel Fontaine Team Character Award: Steven Fogarty Man of the Year: Chris Nell Fan Favorite: Vinni Lettieri WOLF PACK LINES: Albert-Leedahl-Jaspar Schneider-Fogarty-DeSalvo Tambellini-Lettieri-Ronning Fontaine-Gropp-Salvaggio Bigras-Helgesen Lindgren-Labrie Pedrie-Crawley SCRATCHES: Scott Kosmachuk (foot injury) Brendan Smith (broken hand) Boo Nieves (healthy) Dan Catenacci (veteran) Drew Melanson (healthy) Rangers unofficially assigned forward Lias Andersson (Sweden) and Filip Chytil (Czech Republic) to their respective World Championship teams that begin play in Denmark in two weeks on May 4. The Wolf Pack announced the date of the home opener for 2018-19. The date will be October 5th. Dirk is the son of former NHL defenseman Robert Dirk. A whole host of scouts on hand for the home finale. Among them were Anaheim, Detroit, Ottawa, and Winnipeg. Earlier in the week, defenseman Alexei Bereglazov, who played 13 games at the start of the season before returning to Russia, was put on unconditional waivers and cleared. This ends his contract with the Rangers and he will not be returning to Hartford in the fall and will remain in Russia to play in the KHL. Wolf Pack Fan Jersey of the Night: Old school night for sure; #7 Joe Rullier (still remember the banner from the home crowd, "Rullier is French for Loser!" He's since retired), #14 Jack Combs (Iserlohn Germany-DEL), #15 Hugh Jessiman (retired), #18 (CT Whale) Jonathan Audy-Marchessault (Las Vegas-NHL), #20 P.J. Stock (assistant coach St. Lazare QJAAAHL), #23 Jayson Megna (Vancouver-NHL/Utica-AHL), #27 Martin Grenier (retired), #34 Dane Byers (Manchester England-EIHL), #46 Jordan Owens (Fischtown Germany-DEL) and #48 Peter Ferraro (retired). Bonus: A pair of Ronnings were in the house, a #7 Cliff Ronning (Arizona) and Ty Ronning #14 (from last year). Read the full article

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Help!

Having built his own nest, Lance was doped up on amazing Altean medicine. It hadn't removed the pain completely, but he no longer felt like he was constantly being stabbed in the stomach with a dozen blunt kitchen knives, instead, it was more like he could feel the cramps happening and the discomfort from them, but no real pain. Thanks to Allura telling everyone he was suffering from side effects due to Altean technology not being built with omega males, and having taken such a severe blow to his lower abdomen, everyone had come to visit him, including Shiro. At the moment he had Keith sitting near him, while Coran was acting out the greater moments of his youth. Honestly, Lance had long ago lost track of Coran was going on about, pretty much because he was too busy staring at Keith. Since they'd done... that... he'd thought the alpha wouldn't be able to keep his word about giving him space, but thankfully he had. Kind of. The first few days had been particularly rough, and he'd even ended up in the medical bay because of it, but when it came to leaving, Allura hadn't wanted him wandering the halls while doped up. So Keith had walked him back to his room, and made sure he had everything he needed before giving him space. That was 6 quintants ago, and since then, Keith would check in with him, but never stayed more than a vargas at a time. Each time he came, the alpha would sit beside him, like he was right now, without forcing him to talk or think. He was just there, and it felt nice.

 The honour of the worst visitor definitely went to Shiro. Shiro had come to see him twice. The first time the alpha had yelled at him for running off to save Keith on his own, and the second time he'd come to visit, he'd apologised for losing his temper. If Allura hadn't been the one to check on him after both visits, he probably would have been a sobbing mess curled up under his desk. He hated being scared of Shiro, but each time he raised his voice, he swore he saw infected Shiro in the man's eyes. Allura had assured him that couldn't possibly be the case, and Lance knew he was being stupid, but after that, the alpha hadn't come back, and Keith had started sitting a little bit closer to him than before.

 "Lance?"

Blinking sleepily, Lance rubbed his face, before jerking back 

"Coran?"

With the man's face inches from his own, Lance was completely confused as to why Coran was staring at him 

"Coran asked you how you're feeling?"

Grateful for Keith clueing him, Lance nodded quickly 

"Great! You Altean's have awesome painkillers!"

"Good. That's good. It shouldn't be much longer before you're up and moving again!"

"Good, because I honestly don't think I can take much more singing"

Laughing, Keith placed his hand on Lance's

"Lance, no ones been singing"

"Oh. In my head they have!"

"Yes, well. Side effects will vary. I need to get back up to the bridge!"

"Thanks, Coran. I appreciate the visit"

"Anytime Lance!"

Leaning forward, Lance tried to watch Coran walk from his quarters, but instead nearly ended up falling from the bed

"Lance!"

"Keith, have you ever noticed how orange Coran's moustache is!?"

Sighing at him, Keith pushed him back into his nest

"You ask me every time you see him?"

"I do?"

"You do"

"Did you agree?"

"I gave up agreeing. I thought you'd be less out of it today. Allura said she readjusted your medication"

"I didn't know that. But I do feel good. I can't think. I don't think I can think. Keith. Can I think"

"You didn't think before, so why start now?"

Pouting at the alpha, Lance pulled his pillow into his lap

"Why do you alpha's have to be so mean?"

"Us alpha's?"

"You... Shiro. Shiro hates me. He yelled at me"

"That's because you did something silly"

"How was saving you silly?"

"It wasn't that you saved me, but how. Now, I think it's time you got some more sleep"

"I don't want to sleep"

"Yes you do"

"Maybe I do. You're right. I do"

"You're so smart and pretty!"

Struggling up, Lance planted a very wet and sloppy kiss on Keith's cheek, before flopping back down on his bed. It was comical how fast the omega passed out once his head hit his pillow.

  *

Waking in the middle of the night, it took a moment for Keith to realise what had woken him. There was something in his bed... something big, and something right beside his left foot. Lashing out, his foot hit the solid mass, and pained yelp announced Lance's presence 

"What the hell man?!"

"'eith... ow..."

Quiznak. Climbing out of his bed, Keith flicked the light switch. Hunched over the end edge of Keith's bed, Lance was sporting an impressively bloody nose

"Quiznak Lance!"

"'orry"

"Here, let me take a look. What are you doing here? I thought you were sleeping in your quarters"

"'ot 'old"

"You got cold"

Nodding his head, Lance tensed as Keith pulled his hand away from his nose

"It's not broken. You should have just climbed into bed normally"

"'orry..."

Grabbing a spare shirt, Keith bundled it up and pressed it to Lance's nose. Smooth. Kicking an omega with clear PTS right in the face... even worse, kicking the omega that he wasn't completely sure if he was courting or not right the face... really quiznakking smooth. Not sure how to proceed without making things worse, Keith sank down into his desk chair and watched as Lance dealt with his bloody nose.

 It seemed to take forever before Lance pulled his shirt away from his nose 

"I think it's stopped..."

"I'm sorry I kicked you. Though I don't know why you were crawling around in my bed"

"I got cold..."

Lance sounded like there was something more to this than him just "getting cold", especially given that they hadn't really talked since that night. Not properly at any rate

"Lance, is there something you want to talk about?"

Biting his lip, Lance looked down at the shirt in his hand

"Allura told me to see Coran about getting scanned once the bleeding passed..."

Cutting himself short, Lance shook his head as he rose to his feet 

"Sorry. I'll go back to my quarters"

"Lance, I'm going to kick you again if you keep saying sorry. If you want me to come with you, that's all you have to say"

"I don't know what I want. I woke up feeling so lonely and cold that I was scared. I know I'm being stupid. I know"

Rising from his chair, Keith moved to tug his shirt from Lance's hold before dabbing at the small amount of blood dribbling from the omegas nose 

"You're not being stupid. The Blade of Marmora contacted me and invited me on one of their missions so I can take you in the morning before I leave"

"No. If you have a mission, that needs to come first"

Did Lance have any idea how cute and weak he looked right now? Throwing his shirt in the corner, Keith then wrapped his arms around Lance. Indulging himself, Keith closed his eyes and breathed in Lance's sweet scent

"What are you doing?"

"You said you were cold"

Lance snorted

"I thought you were sniffing me"

"Maybe. I have to be up early, but do you want to stay until I go?"

"If you don't mind"

"I wouldn't offer if I did"

 It was far too soon that Keith's alarm was going off. In his arms, Lance seemed to be attempting to nuzzle through his chest in an attempt to escape the incessant beeping 

"Lance, I have to get up"

"Noooo"

"Come on, I need to get up"

"I don't want you to go"

Letting out a sigh, Keith ran his fingers through Lance's soft hair while trying to detangle himself from the adorable teen

"It's only for a couple of quintants"

"I have a bad feeling..."

"If you're that worried, why don't you sleep here while I'm gone?"

"How's me sleeping here going to make you any safer?"

Damn. He couldn't fault Lance's logic on that

"Because it means I know you're safe and that I can concentrate fully on the mission"

Those seemed to be the magic words as Lance finally let him go. Pressing a kiss to the omegas temple, Keith carefully climbed over him

"Keith... when you come back, can we talk?"

"Yeah. I think we probably should"

 When Keith returned from showering Lance had already left. Kind of disappointed, he had to remind himself that the fact remained Lance had come to him and climbed into his bed. Even if he had kicked him in the face, the omega had then willingly climbed into his arms, and hopefully when he returned they'd make this thing of theirs official. 

  *

Having left Keith showering, Lance had gone to find Coran. He couldn't believe he'd actually crawled into bed with Keith... feeling his face redden, he slapped his cheeks in an attempt to clear his mind, but having slapped himself too hard, he let out a yelp. What the hell was wrong with him?!

 "Lance. Allura said you were up and about"

"Yeah. Is she around?"

"I think she was talking with the mice, shall I call her?"

Shaking his head, Lance cast a glance at Pidge and Shiro. He'd thought the bridge would be empty given how early in the morning it was, but now he was trapped with no way of asking Coran about the scan without seeming weird. Wandering over to the pair, he peered down at the display Pidge was tapping away on 

"Hey Lance, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good Pidge. What's that you're working on?"

"We've picked up a bug, so I'm just running a diagnostic on the castle system. Shiro said his room was super cold last night"

"Hey, my room was pretty cold last night too!"

"Are you sure it wasn't because you're missing a certain alpha"

Grinning at him, he knew exactly what Pidge was getting at

"Noooo"

"Really? Then why weren't you in your own room last night?"

"Whaaaat! How'd you know about that?!"

"I didn't, not until just now! Why don't you two get together already?"

"Pidge!"

"I'm joking. I'm joking. Where is Keith? I wanted to ask him if his air conditioning was on the fritz too"

"It was fine when I left"

Pidge lost at her own game, the female alpha blushing as her own imagination got the best of her. Waving his hands, Lance tried to cut her line of thought off before this conversation got any worse

"It wasn't like that. I just had something to talk to him about before he left the castle"

"I wish he wouldn't just blindly rush off each time the Blade of Marmora wanted him. We already have enough trouble without adding more"

Lance got the feeling Shiro was taking another dig at him, and he wasn't impressed

"Excuse me for being sick! I'm going to find Allura"

Walking away from the pair, Pidge called out his name, she obviously knew he'd just had his feelings hurt.

 Wandering around the castle, Lance found Allura in the lounge. The mice squeaking away happily as they acted out something 

"Lance! We're just playing a game of charades! Care to join?"

"No thanks, Allura. But I'll watch if you don't mind"

Patting the space next to her, Lance moved to drop down with a weary sigh

"Everything alright?"

"No. Shiro is being all... Shiro. He's worse than Keith!"

Allura laughed 

"I think I know what you mean. He's been all dark and moody"

"Exactly! That's Keith's role!"

"I'm sure now you're up and around, things will find a way to settle down. Have you seen Coran yet?"

"Yes, but Pidge and Shiro were there. Keith said he'd come with me, but he has his mission..."

"Have you too?"

"Allura!"

"No! Not that... I was just wondering if you'd had some time to talk things through?"

"No... we're going to talk when he comes back"

Allura's eyes sparkled as she let out a small squeal

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy for you both"

"I wish I could feel the same"

Allura's face fell, the princess taking his hands into her own. With everything that had happened, his moods and hormones were still way out of whack. Sitting here with Allura, he'd been so relieved to find a few moments of peace, but now he was tearing up like a fool

"Lance, you are allowed to be happy"

"I just don't want to make Keith unhappy. I still have nightmares, and I... I let my own pups die..."

A small sob escaped his lips, followed by another as he couldn't stop himself 

"Oh Lance"

"I'm sorry Allura. I wanted them gone... I thought once they were... I could be with Keith... but Shiro keeps bullying me over what's being gone one and every time I see him I have to remember! I don't want to remember. I don't want him to know what I did. I want to be with Keith, but Keith deserves better than me"

"Keith knows what you're going through. He's chosen you, Lance. He wants to be with you. I don't think there's any greater force than love"

"But this is affecting everyone! Keith and Shiro were so tight, now Keith gets all alpha-ry when Shiro's in the same room as me. Pidge and Hunk both know I've been hiding something. You're already under so much stress, but you're still looking after me! I can't tell them though because I don't want to see the looks of pity they'll give me! It's bad enough everyone knows I'm an omega"

"No one thinks any less of you for being an omega. Maybe we should tell them. We don't have to tell them everything, but something"

"Like what? Shiro got me pregnant, and he has no idea, but it's ok. I through myself in front of Keith to save him and killed the pups! Oh! Oh, let's not forget the part where I tried to give myself an abortion but failed that miserably!"

[jamiekturner]

Face Cards: The Intricate Playing Card Designs

Face cards are something that we take for granted. The playing card design is something that we never look too much at. However, when we see one that is well designed, we are pleasantly surprised.

We can find design inspiration everywhere we turn, readily available to transform into a master piece.

The commercials we see, the cars we drive, the cinema posters of long awaited movies – they all have a design lesson to teach, and if we give them a second look, we may come up with our own ideas.

In this occasion, we will discuss playing cards.

A standard deck of cards is to be found in nearly any American household, which takes us to the subject of playing card designs being taken for granted.

Yet, the fact we don’t appreciate the ubiquitous playing card design doesn’t make it any less perfect, and doesn’t justify the fact we know nothing about it.

Playing cards of today have inherited their looks from the French Renaissance cards. Their appeal was first interpreted in 1800, by a not so popular artist called John Cazenave.

Cazenave was also the first playing card artist who inspired Charles Bartlett to improve his work and spread it among wider audiences around 1830. Two decades later, Philadelphian artist Samuel Hart took over the idea, and began printing playing cards in larger amounts.

A historical overview

Playing cards in many different shapes have been around ever since the 9th century, and can be traced to several regions in China. Their first appearance in Europe is usually connected to the 14th century.

At this time, Europeans were designing two popular patterns: The French Parisian and the English Rouennais, the later being far more impactful on how playing cards look nowadays.

It was also the French to have created the four standard card suits (spades, clubs, hearts, and diamonds). Originally, this concept belongs to the Italo-Spanish deck, where the suits were clubs, swords, coins, and cups. With time, the much simpler French design prevailed, as it was cheaper and easier to manufacture.

It was no longer necessary to use the standard woodcut method, and numbers could be inserted with stamps, similarly to cards of today. Yet, the French deck court cards still needed woodcut illustrations.

This already shows us the value of playing cards design – we see amazing graphics created specifically to be replicated in an affordable way.

Playing cards observed from a different perspective

While playing, did you ever appreciate the design of playing cards? Most of us didn’t, and yet – we should have.

Playing card designs are the role models of aesthetics balanced with usability, and that makes them almost perfect.

In order to draw inspiration from playing cards, leave all knowledge aside, and look at them as if it was your first encounter.

The symmetry

When it comes to symmetry in design, there is no better example than playing cards. The basic principle has been wielded in a magnificent way, and there are two reasons for that.

To start with, symmetry helps make cards more attractive, as the viewer’s brain finds symmetry very appealing, and relate it to both nature and art.

More importantly, cards’ symmetry is functional, and prevents us from holding cards upside down. This may sound less important than it is, but think how it would be to play cards or pick them up without such functionality.

Numbered cards make this much simpler, but symmetry is still present (a reversed one, however). These cards are called court cards, or as modern users like to call them, face cards.

In their original shape, court cards contained character illustrations in their first length. In order to improve them, mid-19th century designers thought of reversed symmetry.

Face cards usability

Symmetry, nonetheless, is not the only design hack artists came across while thinking how to improve cards. There are also other design characteristics that make cards functional, including the suit display with repeated icons that inform us on the card’s value. Such bonus indicators are even more valuable nowadays, when there is no typography to indicate the cards’ meaning.

The playing cards with corner indices (numbers or letters) arrived in America around 1875. Thanks to the moderated design, players were able to hold the cards with a single hand, and were impressed by such usability.

Prior to this advancement, Jack cards were usually called ‘Knaves’ or ‘Knights’, which prevented the letter ‘K’ from appearing to both cards. This is why they were renamed to Jack, and the players’ best interested was taken into account.

The face cards’ Royal family

How many face cards are in deck of cards? Playing cards continued to evolve, and eventually caused the generic royal figures to take on particular personalities. Designers chose and ascribed a well-known royal figure to each face card – kings Charles, David, Julius Caesar, and Alexander the Great.

As for the other face cards in a deck, there was the queen, namely Pallas, Rachel, Judith, and Argine; the Knaves/Jacks, respectively, La Hire, Ogier the Dane, Judas Maccabeus (Lanselot), and Hector.

You may still come across an old deck with these names printed on the cards. However, the characters are not standardized in new decks.

Interesting and intriguing facts

Not everything about face cards is known to the public. Taking a better look, you would notice that the King of Hearts doesn’t have a moustache, and he’s illustrated as if he was trying to kill himself!

For some experts, this detail was used to illustrate the blurry and unresolved death of Charlemagne. Looking at the King of Diamonds, on the other hand, we’d see he holds an axe unlike other kings that hold a sword.

All mysteries, however, can be explained with a very simple story. With playing cards being reprinted over and over again, the original artworks slowly lost its integrity. The King of Hearts no longer had a moustache.

Also, the King of Diamonds is not the only one carrying an axe – now, this weapon is held by both red kings, while the sword is assigned to their black counterparts.

Single-eye Royals

Another fact that attracts attention is that the King of Diamonds, Jack of Hearts, and Jack of Spades are all depicted as profiles, namely you can only see a single side of their faces. This is why they’re often called one-eyed royals or one-eyed Jacks.

The remaining face cards royals are more front-facing, and you can see both of their eyes regardless of the direction where they’re looking. In certain games, these attributes have a special meaning.

Last, but not least, there are only 4 face cards (all black) where the character is looking to the right. The remaining eight all look at the opposite direction.

The Ace of Spades

In many card games, the Ace of Spades has a special meaning. This rule was first introduced in the 15th century, while Kings were still considered to be the most valuable cards in a deck. The Ace, on the opposite, had the lowest value.

Under the ruling of King James I of England, it was decided to give Ace of Spades insignia with a special law, to confirm the payment of taxes. As a result, many companies embraced Aces of Spades on their official logos, and many are still doing the same.

At the beginning of 1860, the Ace of Spades lost its leadership thanks to games such as Joker. Joker was named after the German game ‘Jucker’.

English face card designs

The English face card pattern is internationally accepted, and believed to originate from Rouen (France). We can trace it back to 1516, when cards showcased well-executed and highly credible images of elegant personas, whose heads are turned back over their shoulders, and we can only see their profiles. The same principle was used for the Jack of Hearts.

Unfortunately, these designs didn’t make it through in their original form – the images were soon disfigured due to poorly informed and unskilled copiers, foremost English artisans to whom we own modern card designs.

The bad copying distortions

Here are some interesting facts:

The King of Clubs’ right hand with an imperial orb was removed (the orb’s decoration covered the fingers). Another notable change is the transformation of the crowning Lorraine cross into a wilted-lettuce-like object.

On some of the pioneer Rouen cards, we can see the Jack of Clubs with a large and fine feather in the cap, which soon started resembling a leaf. The arrow he held was slowly deformed, and eventually started looking like a strange object.

The Jack of Hearts was given a leaf instead of the long and obscured sword. The hilt was slightly deformed, and ten completely transformed into a natural stick with the leaf on top.

The King of Hearts’ axe was replaced by a sword, and his moustache was removed.

With time, the King of Spades lost his right hand, but the weapon remained as it was always held in the left one.

The only queen to hold a sceptre was the Queen of Spades, and the sceptre changed once it was cut in 2 parts by the frame.

The Jack of Spades received a moustache, and had his spear transformed into an undecipherable and unclear object.

The 1800s updates

The English playing cards design underwent many transformations during the 19th century, in particular the second and the third quarter.

The most notable the design is the double-ended one, thanks to which face cards no longer had to be turned to see them clearly. However, this change imposed the need ot represent personas with no arms or legs, as a result of which the King of Clubs’ orb is no longer supported but suspended in mid air.

During this period, the suit sign was permanently placed on the bottom right and the top left corners of the cards. This change was applied to the Queen and Jack of Diamonds, and the Queen and Jack of Diamonds, as players thought it was challenging to have 6 courts with right-positioned suit signs while holding all cards in a fan. Nevertheless, certain card makers continued producing unturned cards.

Cards also received indices on the bottom right and top left corners. Thanks to them, the suit became visible even when holding cards in a fan, an innovation that was very useful for the games typical for this period (Whist, for instance, when payers have to hand 13 cards all the time).

The 19th century was also the time when cards received indexes, added by putting miniature cards in the left-hand corners. The change was refused due to its negative, obscuring effect on the left-corner, and the indexes were thus replaced with letters, while the miniature cards were left out.

The redrawn version of the design is neater, but its style is still the same. The realism attempts were all completely abandoned.

The standard 52-cards deck of today is reminiscent of the four French suits from the 15th century. We have the (♣), diamonds (♦), hearts (♥), and spades (♠), all resembling the items they stand for, but are nonetheless deprived of the lavish motifs of their predecessors, and thus easier to reproduce. The pips were even back then significantly different from each other, standing for symbols associated with the country’s culture and tradition. We can find all types of icons – sorcerers, gobblers, birds, stars, and more, all with a symbolic meaning that reminds instantly of tarot decks. Yet, the pips stand for diversion and not divination as tarot cards, but still feature some of the best 16th century iconography related to mysticism, alchemy, history, and astronomy.

According to historians, the 4 suits in playing card decks were introduced to showcase the 4 different classes in the medieval society. The chalices and cups (today’s hearts) symbolized the clergy; the swords (today’s spades) stood for the military and the nobility; the coins (modern diamonds) were the symbols of merchants; while batons (our clubs) represented the peasants. Yet, not all decks were categorized in the same way. Early German hunting cards, for instance, also had bells, as bells represented jesses of hawks, and symbolized falconry which was at the time a sport reserved for the wealthiest. This is why bells were more suitable for Rhineland’s nobility (and German nobility altogether). In France, on the other hand, the upper class was represented with diamonds, having in min that this was the shape of churches’ chancels, and a common mark on aristocratic graves and monuments.

Ending thoughts on face cards

This article aims to help uninspired designers to give everyday objects a second look, and to think of them more creatively.

Face cards are great examples, as there is plenty of logic and history behind each and every one of them.

If you liked this article about face cards, you should check out these as well:

Book Cover Design: Ideas, Layout, Fonts, And How to Create One

Graphic Designer Salary: Junior, Senior and the Average Annual One

Japanese Graphic Design: Beautiful Artwork and Typography

The post Face Cards: The Intricate Playing Card Designs appeared first on Design your way.

from Web Development & Designing http://www.designyourway.net/blog/graphic-design/face-cards/

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

What We Learned: Erik Karlsson and blowing up the Senators

It’s a matter of when, not if, Erik Karlsson moves on from the Senators. (Juan Ocampo/NHLI via Getty Images)

Wouldn’t you know it, but that team everyone said probably wasn’t any good last year despite going to the Eastern Conference Final, is now decidedly not very good.

The Ottawa Senators finished Saturday night seven points back of the Bruins, and three other teams are between them in a division where it certainly seems like there won’t be a wild card team come April. They’ve also won just four points in nearly a month, with a win and two OT losses in their past 12 games.

So seven points might as well be a million, and the Senators are now wisely starting to look like they could go through a minor blow-up of the roster, which is something that has been badly needed for some time.

The front office asked all of the players on the roster with some sort of no-trade protection — and there are 10 of them! — to turn in their lists of teams to which they would not approve a trade. As was pointed out on Hockey Night in Canada, the team made a similar move in 2011, then dealt Mike Fisher, Chris Kelly and Alex Kovalev.

Matt Duchene, by the way, has no such protection.

Despite all the talk about the Senators being a bad team (they are), there are also some very talented players on the roster. Erik Karlsson is obviously one of a handful of the best players alive, but guys like Mark Stone and Mike Hoffman are high-end talents as well. They’re not stars but they’re guys you can build around. The rest of the team, well, the less said about it the better, especially because of how money is appropriated throughout that roster.

What’s interesting is that we talk about the Senators being a budget team, which they are by all accounts, but they’re not that far from the cap ceiling ($1.725 million) and have six contracts worth at least $5 million AAV.

Any time any sort of discussion about the Senators cutting salary comes up, the attention obviously turns to Karlsson, whose prime was effectively wasted through organizational ineptitude, mismanagement and penny-pinching. Karlsson is the star here and makes a good chunk of change, and is already making noise about (rightly) demanding a fat contract in summer 2019, when he’ll be 29.

While the Senators didn’t trade Karlsson in that 2011 talent purge, such as it was, they would have had no reason to do so. At the time, he was still in just the second year of his ELC and therefore under team control for nearly a decade to come. Now, nearly seven years later, the idea that he’d price himself out of Ottawa anyway come free agency time, and that Pierre Dorion can probably get some fairly valuable stuff for him (especially given his bargain contract), they necessarily must consider trading him. Get the no-trade list, start working the phones. Someone is going to want him. Hopefully someone good with a haul of picks and prospects to give.

It’s an unenviable spot for Dorion, because if you trade Karlsson (and you basically have to, either now or in the summer) you might as well rip the whole thing down and sell it for scrap. A Senators team without Karlsson is a squirrel on the highway, and it’ll only be a matter of time before it’s crushed again and again by oncoming traffic.

I know we’re supposed to think, “Oh he’s in such a bad slump right now, how can he make these demands,” but let’s be realistic. Ottawa has a 53.9 CF% when he’s on the ice this season, and when he’s off? It’s just 46.9. Karlsson has been on the ice for 27 goals in 23 games. Ottawa as a team has just 49 more in 28. And this despite the fact that Karlsson has an on-ice shooting percentage right now of only 7.9 in all situations (the league average is 8.9).

Karlsson in another uniform might be unimaginable — and a hateful sight — to Senators fans, but they might want to start getting used to the idea. The problems with this roster aren’t all Dorion’s fault, but they’re certainly his mess to clean up, and given that you can’t afford to lose Karlsson for nothing in two summers (with what is probably going to be another lost season and a half) then the long-term health of the franchise must be the only consideration. Obviously GMs who trade superstars don’t end up keeping their jobs, and any rebuild Dorion initiates would likely last longer than he would, but the idea that you should try to trade, say, Bobby Ryan or Zack Smith but keep Karlsson only to (probably) lose him in 2019 is odious and irresponsible.

Of course, we also don’t know what a Karlsson trade ends up looking like. Given what GMs have recently had to give up to get okay-ish, cheap-ish middle-pairing guys who have a little bit more room to grow, there’s no calculable package a GM could give up, especially in-season, to acquire a player of Karlsson’s talent level. No such trade has ever been carried out in the cap era, and would therefore rewrite the book. If you can’t even get full value on a Hall-for-Larsson swap, the raft of picks, prospects and young skilled NHL players you’d have to concede would be incredible.

I know we talked a lot about sticking to your guns with Joe Sakic throughout the Duchene saga, but in the end, Colorado didn’t get anything much that’s going to help the team be competitive in the near-term. He got the best haul he could, which was a young, good NHL defenseman (Samuel Girard), a pretty good forward prospect (Vlad Kamenev), an okay-but-by-no-means-great first-year college player (Shane Bowers), a salary dump (Andrew Hammond), and four draft picks (including two first-rounders).

Could Ottawa reasonably expect more of a haul than that? Especially if there’s only one other team involved? It’s tough to imagine they would, simply because few would have the ability to give up more than that. Can you really ask a team for its entire draft for a year or two? You’re not getting Karlsson, or even a semi-reasonable facsimile, back, so you have to accept that any Karlsson trade is one you probably end up losing, and losing badly.

Nonetheless, you have to make it, because the other option is making him go through the motions for another 140 games or so as your club craters, then lose him for nothing in free agency when Eugene Melnyk can’t find the money between his couch cushions to pay Karlsson $12 million. Which, by the way, is what Karlsson is probably worth despite his age.

Maybe you feel like it was always going to come to this. It’s tough to say Karlsson should do anything but walk given the state of the team, the fact that he’s probably never going to win a Stanley Cup there, and that they might not be able to pay him anyway.

That gives you no choice but to blow it all up, because if the team stinks with Karlsson off the ice, think about what happens when he’s off the roster completely and nothing was done to replace even a portion of his value.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: It’s too late.

Arizona Coyotes: Nice to get 35 shots but also sometimes you run into probably the best goalie in the world at that moment.

Boston Bruins: Do you think it’s possible the Bruins defense looks good because Tuukka Rask is playing out of his mind right now? Nah, that can’t be it.

Buffalo Sabres: The Sabres did a poor job drafting and developing talent but you knew that already, didn’t you?

Calgary Flames: Speaking of guys that haven’t developed, wouldn’t the Flames like the current version of Sam Bennett to be their friend for a while more?

Carolina Hurricanes: Carolina put a scare into Vegas but every bounce is going right for Vegas all season so, take the point and feel good about it.

Chicago Blackhawks: Vince Hinostroza was too good to keep in Rockford. Probably too good to have been sent there in the first place.

Colorado Avalanche: Lots of goals, sure, but also: It was Florida.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Doubtful that Columbus is the actual best team in the division again this year, but their case is so much more compelling now.

Dallas Stars: Sorry, but you need your best players to be better.

Detroit Red Wings: It’s getting to the point where the Detroit media is looking at 6-1 losses and being like, “Coulda been worse!” And they’re not wrong. Unreal.

Edmonton Oilers: Ah, the Oilers are good again. Just in time for them to lose four of five or something and have everyone turn on them.

Florida Panthers: A little surprised you’d retire No. 37 for Tanner Glass, but congrats to the guy. He earned it.

Los Angeles Kings: I love the trade for the third-best Subban.

Minnesota Wild: To be fair: It’s the Ducks.

Montreal Canadiens: Hmm, seems to me that “time” was two years ago, but hey.

Nashville Predators: The “original golden team” was California. It’s right there in the name, dawg. C’mon!

New Jersey Devils: Well, this headline reads like a Pepto ad.

New York Islanders: I don’t know how you blame goaltending in a game where your goalie stops 30 of 32 and the offense only scores one goal, but hey, it’s not like I’m a hockey genius or anything. (Just kidding, I am.)

New York Rangers: These are not the kind of headlines that end well.

Ottawa Senators: Haha, “becoming.”

Philadelphia Flyers: Can’t say for sure which Gudas comes back from suspension, but if I were a betting man, I’d put all my money on, “The one who tries to hurt people a lot.”

Pittsburgh Penguins: Oh yeah baby, here we go!

San Jose Sharks: Man, I dunno. Paul Martin is old as hell now.

St. Louis Blues: I don’t like to see that!

Tampa Bay Lightning: B-b-b-b-best team in the league.

Toronto Maple Leafs: I love when Tyler Bozak is occasionally good. That’s always funny to me.

Vancouver Canucks: My theory is that this Vancouver team was never that good. Just a theory!

Vegas Golden Knights: The Stars are the first non-Arizona team Vegas beat in regulation in like three weeks. Hooray for this definitely good team.

Washington Capitals: This was always a good team with Matt Niskanen in the lineup, but this run has been unbelievable.

Winnipeg Jets: Maybe they didn’t play that great, but to get a point out of Tampa ain’t bad either.

Play of the weekend

A bit of a comedy of errors in the neutral zone, but this was a nice one from Nathan MacKinnon.

Gold Star Award

Mitch Marner had three assists on Saturday night against the Penguins, and man, those were his first points in seven games. Must be nice!

Minus of the Weekend

Jimmy Howard gave up four goals on 10 shots and now has an .846 save percentage in his last nine games, after starting at .931 in his first 15.

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Year

User “Baksfamous112” is got my attention with just this subject line:

Weber for Karlsson

Signoff

But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?

—

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)

More NHL coverage on Yahoo Sports

[junker-town]

2007: The inside story of the greatest season in college football history

Les Miles and 2007 were made for each other all along

Hello. This is a project all about the 2007 college football season, the wildest season ever. We've included dozens of interviews, stories, and other fun stuff in this package (take a look around!), but first, let's talk about Les Miles.

Maybe the problem with every other team in 2007 was this: they insisted that things make sense, while Les Miles and LSU never did. In a season of gambles and black swans, Miles was wearing a ghillie suit at the roulette table. It’s not that he had planned it that way, mind you. It’s just what he always wore, and one day, the perfect moment would come along for the outfit.

Consider that LSU might have had another unfair advantage from the start: being three teams at once.

One was the LSU that destroyed Mississippi State and Virginia Tech to start the season, a physically superior crew of crowbar-wielding sprinters and trench monsters so frightening, they scared poor Michael Henig of Mississippi State into throwing six interceptions in a single game.*

*Full disclosure: by the time he threw his fifth, everyone watching wanted him to throw six, because ... well, his public failure had come full circle to a kind of valiant achievement, hadn’t it?

Another LSU was a defense-averse scoring machine bent on playing deep into triple overtime. That team lost twice — twice! in a national title year! — to Arkansas and Kentucky and roared to victory in a shootout with Alabama.

The final LSU was the one everyone remembers best, the LSU that passed with one second left against Auburn or pulled off fourth down conversion after fourth down conversion against Florida in a comeback win or called a bizarre fake field goal for a TD against South Carolina or needed a pick six to win the SEC Championship Game.

It’s hard to beat three teams, but it’s also hard to be three teams. Fortunately, Miles mostly won with all three, though it was clear which one he preferred, even if that version was the one that forced LSU fans to drink even more after victories, simply to take the edge off what they’d just seen.

***

Take a chunk out of the cult of coach by pointing out how many of LSU’s biggest plays of 2007 happened because of perfectly timed individual contributions, usually in well-portioned turns. Craig Steltz popped up with pass breakups and interceptions exactly when required. Trindon Holliday, all five-foot-nothing of him, would snap a game open with a kick return. Cornerback Jonathan Zenon turned into Erik Ainge’s best receiver at the worst possible time for Tennessee, returning an INT for a conference-winning score.

LSU was a team of five-star talent and two-star heart, and the peak example was running back Jacob Hester. With a corps of fearsome locals, LSU’s leading rusher would be a fullback with male pattern baldness at the age of 22. Hester wasn’t supposed to end up where he did, but when you keep ending up across the first down line, it’s hard to take you out of the lineup.

It was hard to say exactly who would fall from the rafters at exactly the right moment and save LSU’s ass.

It was easy to say who was fine with that and would openly dare probability not to cough up a positive return on a gamble, even when the gamble was mathematically insane. Whether it was because he was a bullshit artist too scared to ever admit it or so ebulliently confident he infected his whole team, he thrived in it.

And for one year, Miles turned up exactly where he was supposed to, every time, with exactly the right answer.

He was perfectly on time when he called the fake field goal.

He did not just call a fake field goal. He called a flip toss by the starting QB over his shoulder to LSU’s kicker. The burn on trick play enthusiast Steve Spurrier, standing on the opposite sideline, was so precise, Miles made the noise "heheheheh" when watching a replay at Tiger Stadium.

heh

He could have made the same noise all five times he decided LSU was going for it on fourth down against Florida, a backbreaking series of gambles that completed LSU’s 28-24 comeback at home. Miles might have chuckled his way through that whole second half, for all we know. It was very loud in there, and I couldn’t hear my own heartbeat, much less a coach laughing several hundred yards away.

He was on time when LSU was tied with Auburn, with the clock burning down and everyone in the stadium assuming LSU would try to win 26-24 with a Colt David field goal.

When Demetrius Byrd brings down the TD, listen to the crowd’s screams and hear everything all at once: that LSU passed up the obvious answer, nearly blew the last second it could’ve used to kick if the pass had fallen incomplete, and scored despite risking an interception.

You can read some inspired defenses of this play, if you want to go deep enough into the archives. Don’t. It makes no sense, never will, was late, and ... was right. This is a horseshit play, and it worked. Later in his career, Miles and LSU would get in serious trouble with clock management, and this would all seem less than cute, but in 2007, LSU was unstoppably lucky.

They pressed that luck, even when they became phenomenally unlucky. The Tigers spit the bit at Kentucky and at home to Arkansas. The Kentucky game seemed like enough of an anomaly, the kind voters could forgive. True to bizarro form, LSU outgained Kentucky in yardage, had fewer turnovers, and still lost in triple OT.

Arkansas was worse. A sleepy, 7-6 game at halftime caught fire in the second half, and the three-headed backfield with three future NFL starters — Peyton Hillis, Felix Jones, and Heisman finalist Darren McFadden — ate up yardage until another triple OT loss* surely destroyed LSU’s hopes for a title run.

* There is another achievement LSU can claim, in addition to being the first two-loss AP champ since 1960: the only title team to ever lose two games in overtime, let alone triple overtime. Not that anyone would ever want to claim that, knowing what it’s like to chug rubbing alcohol at 11:45 p.m. while watching your team do this again.

***

Miles showed up when he was supposed to show up, even when he wasn’t supposed to.

2007 was my first year covering college football for money, and the 2007 SEC Championship was just my second game as credentialed media. I still did not know how anything worked, so during pregame, when LSU informed the collected media that "Coach Miles wishes to make a statement," I assumed this was normal.

The SEC

Have a great day

I was informed it was not.

Set this all in context. LSU had just lost a shot at the BCS Championship and would be starting its backup QB in a conference title game against a dangerous, 9-3 Tennessee. The SEC title seemed like a consolation prize, and reports of Miles, a Michigan alum who played and coached under Bo Schembechler, talking to the Wolverines about their coaching vacancy were everywhere.

Whether it was ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit reporting on TV that morning that Miles was as good as gone, or whether a fourth cup of coffee hit Miles sideways in the Georgia Dome locker rooms, or whether years of the accumulated WCW in the air possessed him, Miles felt the need to cut a wrestling promo live on the carpet in Atlanta.

When Miles was done with his speech to a room of baffled and bemused reporters, he appeared again exactly where and when he was supposed to appear. He had told ESPN to kiss his ass and made ESPN show it live on ESPN. He proclaimed in what was suddenly the thickest of Ohio accents that he had a "damn strong football team." He did it for himself, he said, and I believe it; his team, sequestered in the locker room, didn’t see the speech live and couldn’t have used it as some kind of motivational tool.

Miles punctuated his speech with the most truculent "have a great day" ever. Later, after the national championship and grown men from the Bayou running naked down Bourbon Street, the Tigers would put the phrase on the back of their equipment truck, so the whole world could kiss their gear’s ass as it rolled down the highway.

Starting the backup QB in a mop-up game, LSU let Ainge throw the winning TD to LSU’s Zenon. Everyone kept showing up in the right place at the right time, even people who were on other teams.

So when West Virginia lost to "the shittiest fucking team in the fucking world," Oklahoma couldn’t muster the votes to overcome losses to Texas Tech and Colorado, Georgia couldn’t make the case because it didn’t even get to the SEC Championship, an undefeated Kansas lost to rival Mizzou at the worst imaginable time, and Mizzou lost again to Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship, it only made sense that LSU would suddenly face its third chance at a national title.

Getting to do it in New Orleans might have been a little heavy-handed, but the script was the script.

***

There are people who cannot thrive in normal circumstances, who struggle to make basic schedules work and whose only optimal working environment would madden a normal person to the point of tears.

Those people, 90 percent of the time, barely manage to fit into a lane. The really gifted and adaptive ones might become functional, with enough coaching. Others find themselves in much worse situations, often flagrantly so.

Miles is one of those people. After 2007, it became clear that quiet order would do Miles no favors. He’d recruit brilliantly but squander talent, particularly on offense. His carefree approach to clock management would become a running gag, his fake field goals would eventually only work on Florida, and LSU would wane as Nick Saban categorized, analyzed, and systematized the SEC into little more than Bama’s strip mine.

2007 was Miles at his best, but the flip side was 2011, when a phenomenally talented LSU showed up to the BCS Championship without anything resembling an offensive game plan. What Miles could profit from in chaos, he could waste in order. The decline began in earnest; by the time Miles was fired in 2016, quirks that were endearing had become intractable frustrations, even when his teams were still competitive.

If chaos-compatible people are lucky, sometimes they fall into exactly the right, irregularly shaped spot at exactly the right time and work where few others would. Miles fell into the right spot not once, but twice.

Getty

In 2005, after beating Auburn in OT

The first came after Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005, his first season as LSU’s head coach, when the chaos-compatible new guy helped steer an entire school through a natural disaster. Fats Domino was sleeping on QB JaMarcus Russell’s couch, Baton Rouge turned into a refugee camp overnight, and helicopters were flying over Tiger Stadium at all hours, but LSU managed not only to play a full season, but to thrive. In the year of Katrina, the Tigers somehow won 11 games. Almost everyone involved with that season agrees Miles was the person the program needed, when everything else fell apart.

There is a tendency to lionize coaches, overstate their importance, and diminish players in the name of using a single authority figure as a catch-all for a group of ever-changing faces.

That said, there was no one more suited to step into college football’s slipperiest, least predictable season. And once he and LSU stepped into it, they took everything, even well after reason said they were finished. In 2007, when throwing deep into the end zone with no time left made more sense than a field goal, Miles was the safest bet.

***

And at no point did that Ohio State team, or any Ohio State team coached by Jim Tressel, stand a chance in any universe’s 2007 title game, against any team.

2007 had already bit the Buckeyes once — losing to a Ron Zook-coached Illinois counts — but in a year of festive arson and freewheeling nonsense, Ohio State was doomed from the start. The Buckeyes didn’t understand the language on a spiritual level (and on a physical level, could not compete with LSU’s defense). Ohio State ran on a clock, and 2007 was too surreal for anything but melting pocket watches.

LSU won, but all I really remember was the aftermath, a French Quarter bursting at the seams with astronomically intoxicated LSU fans. Almost all of them were clothed.

Miles showed up at one point, too. I don’t remember exactly what time he appeared, but whatever time it was, I have to assume it was the right one.