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samwisethewitch · 4 years ago

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Curses and Hexes

Cursing is one of the most ancient forms of magic — and one of the most controversial. Whereas most magic is constructive (used to manifest or attract things), cursing is destructive (used to cause misfortune or harm).

Technically speaking, curses and hexes are similar but different types of spells. A curse consists of written or spoken words, sometimes combined with gestures. A hex is a ritual involving material items. However, most modern witches use the terms interchangeably, as I do in this post.

The fastest way to start a debate in any witchy community is to bring up the topic of cursing. It seems like everyone has strong opinions on the subject, either for or against. For your practice, all that matters is what you believe.

So, When Is It Okay to Curse Someone?

This is a tricky question, and the answer depends on the witch.

There are some witches who believe that intentionally causing harm or misfortune to another person is always wrong, and will never cast curses for this reason. This is an entirely valid position! If you fall into this camp, know that you’re in good company.

Other witches believe that cursing is acceptable when it’s truly warranted by the situation, such as when your life or livelihood is in danger. Others believe that cursing is simply a means to an end, and can be done with good intention (cursing your friend’s unfaithful partner to get them to stop cheating, for example).

The one thing that most witches seem to agree on is that curses are serious stuff, and should not be taken lightly. Unlike other types of magic, curses are fueled by negative emotions like hate, anger, and heartbreak. This makes them very powerful, but also very draining for the witch casting them. Cursing someone means reliving any trauma you suffered at their hands in order to use those memories as fuel for the fire. Some people aren’t willing to put themselves through such an ordeal, which again, is entirely fair.

Because curses are fueled by such strong emotions, they’re powerful and volatile. They’re like the nitro fuel of witchcraft — if you don’t know what you’re doing and aren’t careful, someone could get seriously hurt. That someone could be you.

My personal view on cursing is essentially the same as my view on physical violence. It’s not the answer to all, or even most, problems, and it sometimes makes the situation worse instead of better. It should never be your first option, but it might very well be your last resort. If someone is holding you at gunpoint, you’re entitled to use violence to protect yourself. Likewise, if someone is putting you or a loved-one in life-threatening danger, you’re entitled to use whatever magical means necessary for protection.

Before You Curse

If you think there’s someone in your life who deserves to be cursed, go through the following criteria to decide if cursing is really the most appropriate action.

Sleep on it. When we’re in the heat of the moment, we sometimes say or do things we don’t mean. If you think you’re angry enough with someone to curse them, give it a couple of days before you reach for the vinegar and chili peppers. Give yourself time to cool off and clear your head. If, after a week, you still feel like a curse is warranted, move on to the next step.

Think about your own motives. Why do you want to curse this person? What did they do to make you angry enough that you’re willing to use magic to harm them in some way? If it’s a minor annoyance, like cutting you off in traffic, a curse probably isn’t appropriate. Likewise, if your motivations are petty or catty in nature — like cursing someone because they beat you out for a promotion — I highly encourage you to stop and do some self-reflection. For one thing, you may not be able to conjure enough genuine hatred and anger for an effective curse. For another, in these situations you may find it more helpful to do some work on yourself (working on anger issues, learning to gracefully accept failure, etc.) rather than lashing out at someone else.

Ask yourself if this situation matters in the long run. It may feel incredibly important now, but try to take a step back and look at the big picture. Will this person matter in a year? Five years? Ten? Are they important enough to warrant allowing yourself to channel enough negative energy for a curse? (If this person is putting your life, livelihood, or safety at risk, the answer to all of these questions is YES!)

Make sure your anger is directed at the right person. Who is really responsible for the pain you’re feeling? For example, if your significant other cheats on you, your first reaction may be to curse the person who “stole” them from you. But you aren’t really upset with this person — you’re hurt because your partner betrayed your trust. I’m not convinced that a cheating partner is a serious enough reason to cast a curse (again, will it really matter in ten years?) but if you decide to do so, at least make sure it’s directed at the person who is truly responsible for your pain.

Consider doing a banishing instead. In situations where a person is a danger to you or your loved ones, sometimes the best option is to give them a magical push out of your life. A banishing does what the name implies — it banishes a person or thing from your life. Unlike a curse, a banishing does not cause harm or misfortune to the person being targeted. It simply removes them from your life.

You can perform a simple yet effective banishing with a piece of paper, a pen, cayenne pepper, and dried lavender. Write the name of the person or thing you want to banish on the paper. Look down at the name and say, out loud, “[Name], you are no longer welcome in my life.” Sprinkle a bit of cayenne on the paper and instruct it to burn this person out of your life. Sprinkle a bit of lavender on the paper and instruct it to bring you peace and healing. Fold the paper up to create a little packet around the herbs, then take it outside and burn it to ash. (Be careful — cayenne smoke burns!) As the paper burns say, “I banish [name] from my life, never to return.” Scatter the leftover ashes on a busy road.

Consider doing a binding instead. Maybe you don’t necessarily need someone out of your life, but you do need to take away their power to cause harm. In this case, a binding is your best bet. A binding is a spell that “binds up” someone’s power, preventing them from taking certain actions. This can be useful for dealing with people who are toxic or abusive. Like a banishing, binding does not cause harm or misfortune to the target.

You can perform a simple binding charm with a photograph of your target, a pen, and red or black thread. Write your target’s full name (or as much of it as you know) across the bottom of the photo. Look down at the photo. Say, out loud, “[Name], I bind you. I bind up your power, so that you can no longer ______.” Fold the paper up as small as possible. Then, begin to wrap the thread around the folded paper. As you do, say, “[Name], I bind you.” Continue wrapping until the thread completely covers the paper — there should be no paper visible.

For whatever reason, some people seem to have a natural resistance to banishing and binding. You may find that your spell works for a while, but the person you tried to banish/bind eventually returns to their old ways. There’s some debate about why this happens — some say it’s because these people are narcissists or energy vampires, while others think it has something to do with their force of will. Personally, I think it’s because some people are so nasty and hateful that it takes nasty, hateful magic to get rid of them for good. If you find yourself dealing with one of these people, and your banishings and bindings aren’t sticking, you may want to move on to a full-fledged curse.

Creating an Effective Curse

Okay, you’ve done your self-reflection, you’ve considered or attempted a banishing and/or binding, and you still feel like cursing is your best/only option. In that case, here are some general guidelines for making sure that your curse is appropriate, effective, and ethical.

Be VERY specific. Don’t just lob a ball of negative energy at someone and expect it to do what you want. Be very, very clear about your intent for this curse. Use precise and specific language. Make it painfully obvious what you want to happen and how you want it to unfold.

For example, when writing a petition or incantation, don’t just say, “[Name] is cursed.” Instead use something like, “Should [Name] ever contact or harass me again, he/she/they is cursed. Let him/her/them feel what I have felt and suffer as I have suffered.” You could get even more specific and detailed if you wanted to, but the important thing is to establish some basic parameters for the powerful dark energy you’re unleashing.

Make sure the punishment fits the crime. A curse to cause sexual impotence probably isn’t appropriate for an abusive boss… unless that boss is sexually harassing their employees. In that case, sticking a few pins in a rotting cucumber may be just what the situation calls for. (Yes, that’s a real curse. Yes, the cucumber represents what you think it represents.)

Making sure the punishment fits the crime also means being honest about how serious of a curse is deserved. Do you really need to ruin this person’s life to get them out of your hair, or will a mild inconvenience do? As strange as the idea of a curse being fair sounds, avoiding overkill will not only maintain balance but will keep you from expending more energy than you have to.

Make sure your curse is only affecting your target and not anyone around them. When it comes to curses, family, friends, and coworkers can sometimes get caught in the crossfire. To avoid this, make sure your spell is targeted to a specific person by personalizing it as much as possible. Include photos of your target, their full legal name (or as much of their full name as you know), and a taglock if you can get it. You may even want to include a line in your petition or incantation specifying that this curse will only affect the desired target and not their friends and associates.

Set clear conditions/parameters. The most effective curses are situational. Think of it as laying an energetic trap in or around a certain situation — this is more efficient and uses up less of your energy than if you were to just cast a blanket curse that affects every area of the target’s life. Curse parameters take the form of, “If [name] does x, they will be met with y.”

Setting parameters also makes sure your curse is truly deserved. For example, maybe your friend has an abusive ex-spouse, and you want to use a curse to keep your friend safe. If the ex-spouse is already leaving your friend alone, there’s no reason for a curse. But if they aren’t leaving your friend alone, they deserve to be met with vicious, magical resistance. For this situation, you may want to use an incantation like, “Should [ex-spouse] ever approach or contact [your friend], they are cursed with discomfort, unrest, and legal trouble. Let them be hunted and put down like a rabid dog.” This ensures that if, at any point in the future, the ex-spouse starts harassing your friend again, the curse will immediately go into action.

Don’t attach yourself to the curse. Perhaps the most important part of cursing is making sure you keep the energy of the curse separate from your own energy. Revenge is a double-edged sword, so you need to take precautions to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.

Any time you cast a curse, you want to limit its connection to you as much as possible. Don’t include any of your own personal effects in the spell. You may also want to avoid using tools that hold a special place in your practice. For example, you may not want to use your altar as a place to craft curses. You may want to use materials that can be disposed of easily. Make sure to dispose of curse remains somewhere outside your home, such as at a busy road.

After casting a curse, it’s important to set aside some time for self-care. Start with a thorough cleansing. This can be as simple as taking a bath in salt water (or dumping a bucket of salt water over your head in the shower, if you don’t have a tub), but if you would rather do a full-fledged cleansing ritual, even better! It’s important to do something to remove any lingering negativity from your energy field, and to make sure the curse doesn’t attach to you in any way.

Cursing is intense, emotional, draining work. After casting a curse, take at least a few hours to rest and be kind to yourself. Eat your favorite foods. Take a nap. Read a book or watch a movie. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel good.

You may want to do some inner work after cursing to help process the intense emotions involved in this kind of magic. This can be journaling, meditation, energy work, or some other healing modality. If you’ve experienced serious trauma, you may want to consider speaking to a therapist or counselor in addition to doing work on your own.

Resources:

Utterly Wicked by Dorothy Morrison

Of Blood and Bones by Kate Freuler

New World Witchery podcast, “Episode 102 — Evil”

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animatedarchives · 4 years ago

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LIFELINE

— 𝐊𝐎𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐄 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀

author’s note: so i had this dream a few days ago and i wrote this self-indulgent comfort fic. if you’ve experienced this before, i’m so sorry for the hurt you’ve been through and i’m here if you need to talk :) i hope you like it <3

genre: BiG aNgsT, comfort fluff wew

warnings: toxic relationship (mental abuse, manipulation, guilt tripping etc.), slightly coarse language

word count: 2.1k words

“Argh, I missed again!” you whined, the water gun gently hitting your thigh as you swung your arms down in defeat. You only had one last chance to knock all 5 metal cans over, and you knew you’d never make it. You sighed as you glanced at the life-sized teddy bear you’d been playing for, reluctantly giving up the idea of ever being able to hug its plushy form. Kenma watched you silently, gazing at you the same way you were looking at the bear: with intense longing.

“Here, let me,” he said gently, reaching for the water gun in your hand. His fingers briefly brushed yours and your breath hitched, turning away slightly so he couldn’t see the blush creeping onto your face. You had both been friends for the longest time, but you knew it was more than that. Although neither of you had explicitly confessed, there was a silent understanding that you both harboured feelings for one another, but were too shy to do anything about it.

You watched sheepishly as he brought the gun up against his shoulder, looking into the crosshairs. His eyes fixed themselves on his target, pupils narrowing into cat-like slits. You loved seeing the competitive side of Kenma. The resolve in his eyes, the fierce air of determination and the silent power he held was so different from his usual nonchalant self, you couldn’t help but be allured.

Finally, he pulled the trigger, releasing five precise spurts of water. You barely had time to process what happened as you heard the metal cans clattering to the ground. His muscles relaxed and he smiled with satisfaction, his usual laid-back self returning while you stood there in utter disbelief.

“Kenma, that was amazing!” you exclaimed, turning to face him. He watched as your eyes sparkled, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. It was a sight that warmed his heart, and something he missed so dearly. Reluctantly tearing his eyes from yours, he turned back to the stall owner to claim his prize.

“I’ll take the bear, please. The big one in the back,” he said, pointing to the one you wanted. You squealed in delight as Kenma retrieved the toy and handed it to you. Bursting with child-like joy, you pressed your face into its large squishy head as you hugged it, your body swinging from side to side. Kenma watched you amusedly, unable to wipe the smile off his face. He loved seeing you like this, the brightness you emanated rivaling that of the sun. Your genuine joy was one of the little things that truly made him happy, and it was blissful moments like this that he wished you could live in forever.

Beaming, you bowed at the stall owner to thank him, eager to explore the rest of the carnival. However, as you turned around, your eyes landed on someone in the distance and your heart seemed to stop. Gone was the excitement bouncing within you, now replaced with an unsettling heaviness. The light in your eyes was being sucked away, dissipating into nothingness. Sensing the air around you shift, Kenma looked at you concernedly, then followed your line of sight. And there stood the person he hated the most, the one who had caused you so much hurt and emotional turmoil for two years: your ex-boyfriend.

“Well well well, look who it is,” he smiled smugly as he sauntered towards you. His eyes flickered to Kenma, who stood behind you, and he laughed bitterly. “Moved on to another boy already? You always were such a slut,” he spat. Kenma tensed up behind you, clenching his jaw and balling his fists. He was never the type to be violent, but your ex’s disgusting remarks made him want to punch that sick smirk right off his face.

“P-please go away,” you whimpered. Your voice was strangled and your chest tightened as the overwhelming scent of your ex’s cursed cologne invaded your nose.

“Awww, but why? You wouldn’t want to break my heart again now, would you?” he pouted in mock sadness.

This was what you dealt with for two years: him taking advantage of your kind heart and twisting it for his own entertainment. He criticised every little thing that you did, from what you wore to who you hung out with. He convinced you that it was your fault you upset him, that it was you who failed to please. You began to question every decision you made, doubting your ability to make the “right ones” and eventually resorting to asking for his permission instead. He had you choking on a leash, but you were too nice, too forgiving, to acknowledge his manipulative ways. You were losing yourself and eventually became an empty shell of the cheerful girl you once were, no longer taking pleasure in the things you loved. It had been six full months since you came to your senses and broke up with him, trying so hard to regain the light you had lost, with Kenma encouraging you every step of the way. It had taken so much time and effort to recover from the toxic relationship. Yet at the mere sight of him returning into your life, everything came undone in an instant.

“What’s the matter, darling? Cat got your tongue?” he hummed. You opened your mouth to protest, but no words came out. You desperately tried to move, to do something to show he no longer held that power over you. But your mind was plagued, and your body remained frozen in the presence of your abuser.

“Oh darling, there’s no need to be scared,” he said, cocking his head to the side. He took a step forward and you couldn’t help but tremble in fear. Dark memories from the past you tried to bury resurfaced as his menacing gaze bore into you. You shrank back in terror and your back hit Kenma’s chest, causing your hold on the huge teddy bear to loosen. The impact pulled Kenma out of his heated thoughts, his eyes clearing to reveal the pointed daggers within them. He gently wrapped an arm around your waist and twisted your bodies so that he was between you and your attacker.

“That’s enough,” Kenma’s words cut through the toxic atmosphere. The change in his demeanour was subtle but terrifying. His voice remained quiet, but now held an edge that was sharper than a sword. His gaze pierced through your attacker, cutting him down to the bone.

Your ex scoffed, unintimidated by Kenma’s physical build. “No, she knows exactly what she did,” he hissed, looking straight into your eyes. “You love to toy with people don’t you darling? Go on, say it. Admit it, you bitch!”

You don’t recall the mistake you made; you only knew that you’d made one. A baseless sense of guilt consumed your mind, and all you could think of was how horrible of a person you were as you looked down at the ground in shame. The lack of words leaving your mouth angered him further. He took a step towards you, but stopped short as Kenma suddenly grabbed his forearm.

“I said,” his grip tightened as anger boiled inside of him.

“That’s enough.”

Kenma looked at him through the strands of hair that fell across his face. He was like a feline crouching behind the tall, dry grass, eyes fierce and unblinking as he stared down his prey. His unrelenting gaze made even your ex shudder, his mind going blank as Kenma seethed silently.

“Leave.”

Kenma’s voice was practically a growl at this point, the finality in his voice apparent. His golden orbs glowed like a predator’s, daring your ex to challenge him. Although no one said it, it was obvious Kenma owned the court and held the game in the palm of his hands.

Knowing he was beat, your ex yanked his arm out of Kenma’s iron grip and scoffed. “Whatever. You’re worthless, anyway,” he sneered at you before walking away. You didn’t know what you did, but you felt like you deserved it. That’s all you ever were anyway: just another piece of garbage.

With the threat no longer present, Kenma eased up and turned to you, significantly concerned for your mental and emotional wellbeing. “Are you alright?” he asked, unable to hide the urgency in his voice.

“I- I think so,” you stuttered. But you weren’t. You knew you weren’t. You were slipping again, back into your old submissive mindset as your head spun with your ex’s lies. And Kenma could see it, the thought of your incited self-hatred causing his knuckles to turn white.

“You deserve so much more than him, Y/N,” he said. You smiled weakly at his words but couldn’t bring yourself to agree.

“I don’t know… Maybe he’s right,” trying to keep your smile, only to fail miserably. “Maybe I really am worthless… Maybe I’m just an awful human being… Maybe…” you thought aloud, voice breaking as you started to believe his words. This experience took you back, remembering how your ex would constantly poison your conscience, leaving you to cry into your pillow every night as your thoughts consumed you alive.

“Y/N, stop,” he said, reaching for your arm. You flinched involuntarily, the action causing Kenma’s heart to break. “Y/N, look at me. Please,” he begged. You slowly lifted your head to meet his gaze, a thin film of moisture forming over your eyes as you slipped further into darkness.

“You are the kindest, sweetest soul I have ever met. You are beautiful and gorgeous, made perfectly as you are. You are the furthest thing from a bad person. He’s a liar, a manipulator and a toxic person overall. He’s the bad one. He’s the one that doesn’t deserve you,” he said, desperate for you to see reason.

You looked into his eyes sadly, searching for something to hold on to, to stop you from spiraling down deeper into your thoughts. And then you found it. Something that was different between him and your ex. Something that was always there but Kenma tried to hide. It was his unwavering love for you.

Something finally clicked and a spark was ignited between you two, causing your heart to beat faster. You could barely understand what was happening, too many things going on in your head at once. But one thing was certain. You knew the person in front of you was genuine.

Trustworthy.

Safe.

“Kenma… I…” your words lost their sound as your faces inched closer. Your eyes drifted down to his soft, thin lips. Your mind was screaming at you, saying that you didn’t deserve his affection and that you were completely unlovable. But your heart argued back, eager to prove them wrong as it reached out for the one it knew it could call home.

You watched earnestly, breath caught in your throat as his lips got closer and closer to your own. Finally, your eyes fluttered shut, your sight unneeded as you savoured the flavour of his sweet lips against yours. The bear you were holding was long forgotten as your fingers unfurled and dropped it to the floor. Your heart was now set on a new prize, your hands moving up his arms and clenching the fabric of his jacket underneath them.

Your reciprocation to his actions made him brave; he kissed you harder, more intensely, as he rested his palms firmly on the curve of your waist. It was an area tainted by the hands of your previous boyfriend, but Kenma’s touch was so pure, so gentle, and so loving, that all you could do was melt into his hold.

Your lips parted all too soon and he rested his forehead against yours, quietly gasping for air. The jarring voices in your head quietened and eventually disappeared as Kenma’s delicate fingers intertwined themselves with yours.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he chuckled, his warm breath adding to the heat on your cheeks. “I love you, Y/N. Every single piece of you. You are absolutely perfect in every way imaginable and I don’t ever want you to believe otherwise.”

You gave a genuine smile as you grasped onto the lifeline of hope Kenma was throwing out to you in the sea of darkness. You wrapped your arms around his torso and buried your face into his shoulder.

“Thank you. I love you too, Kenma.”

Your muffled whispers against his clothes put a gentle smile on his face, his heart soaring as you returned his affection. Kissing the side of your head, he embraced you tighter, wanting to show you how deeply you could be loved.

Breathing in his comforting scent, you came to a realisation.

It wasn’t the bear you longed to hug the most that day.

It was Kenma.

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ahgaseda · 5 years ago

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enough | six

even if everyone else leaves me, you’re enough for me, you’re my only one, stand by me forever, only you, just you...

summary : to survive as a single woman in the big city, you resort to letting rich men pay for your company, but never anticipated that your first client would be the boy you once loved, Jinyoung.

warnings : strong profanity, explicit dialogue, references to prostitution, mentions of gang activity, graphic sexual content, potentially triggering elements involving mental health, panic attacks, etc.

miniseries chapters : one / two / three / four / five / six / seven

It wasn’t until you stepped inside your condo that your heart began to calm. Arguing with Jinyoung still excited you like hell, made something reckless rush through your veins. The two of you were just as hot-headed and stubborn as ever.

Sometimes, you were desperate to get a reaction out of him. No matter how big or small. Especially when he was guarded, which was almost always. It was then you realized that regardless of how many years had passed, you and Jinyoung were still the same two kids wildly and hopelessly in love with each other.

It didn’t matter what was said and done, there would always be the push and pull. You would always find your way back to each other. Your fates were intertwined, destined to tangle despite the distance between you. In a way, you and Jinyoung were doomed to be stuck with each other forever.

With a shake of your head, you chuckled quietly to yourself. Less than an hour had passed and you already missed him. It was pathetic and deeply wounded your pride.

Striding toward the bedroom, you stopped in your tracks when Jackson proceeded to make himself comfortable on the living room sofa.

Brows stitching, you asked confusedly, “Um, what are you doing?”

Jackson glanced at you and flashed that grin of his, replying coolly, “Oh, Jinyoung asked me to spend the night.”

You rolled your eyes and retorted, “Why? To make sure I don’t fuck anyone?”

“Of course not,” Jackson scoffed. “Don’t be a brat.”

You snorted. Under the circumstances, only Jackson could get away with calling you that. Then, a dark thought crossed your mind and you asked, “Am I in some kind of danger?”

“Absolutely not,” Jackson said, like a seasoned politician. It technically wasn’t a lie, he reasoned. You were perfectly safe with him in the next room.

“Okay,” you sighed, knowing neither Jackson or Jinyoung would ever readily admit anything of that nature to you.

In the penthouse, Jinyoung sat pensively by the fireplace, a glass of hard liquor in his hand. He rattled the ice cubes before taking another swig.

Relentless and systematic, he had been undermining Jiwon. Turning his allies against him. Alerting his enemies to his moves. Jinyoung knew how to deal with potential threats, but that did nothing for the fact you were now in the line of fire.

Jiwon’s tactics had reminded Jinyoung why he stayed away for as long as he did, why he made sure to never link the two of you together. Until you forced his hand. It was a dangerous business, his line of work. And there was a reason why men in his position never kept lovers more than one night.

Jinyoung rubbed his forehead where a throb and ache were festering; a side-effect of thinking too damn long and hard.

He couldn’t protect you every minute of every day. You had a life to lead, a dream you had been working toward for as long as he had known and loved you. It wasn’t fair for him to control your every move, to make you live in a constant state of fear that at any moment someone could try to take you away just to punish him.

“I have to get out,” Jinyoung whispered to himself, running a hand down his face. For a long time, Jinyoung had been drunk on the power his status gave him. For once in his life, he had control in the hellfires that surrounded him.

But he wasn’t fireproof.

He could let it all go for you, couldn’t he? He wouldn’t think twice when it came to starting over for your sake. At this point, Jinyoung was ready to give up everything just for the chance to wake up next to you each and every morning.

The wheels were turning in his head. He mapped all the ties in his mind - the ones he would have to sever. Nothing could keep him tethered to this life. He would have to start from nothing.

When the phone rang and jolted him from his reverie, Jinyoung glared at the thing in annoyance, softening only when he saw your name and photo on the screen.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” he asked gruffly.

You frowned and wished you could stare daggers into his face. “Well, hello to you, too,” you smarted back.

Jinyoung felt his lip twitch with amusement at your tone and said, “I can’t talk long.”

You were agitated by his dismissal of you, which could only mean he was in deep thought and not to be disturbed, but you would be damned if you let Park Jinyoung tell you what to do.

Getting comfortable in bed, you pulled the blanket up to your chest and huffed, “Fine. I’ll keep this short. Do you think we will ever be able to move past any of this?”

Jinyoung chortled. “I’m an insufferable grudge holder.”

It went without saying you knew that better than anyone. ��And I run from my problems.”

Jinyoung’s wrath flickered and he snapped, “I was a problem?”

You flinched, playful smile vanishing from your face as emotion bubbled in your chest, and quickly stammered, “That’s not what I meant…”

“I know,” he interjected, heaving a sigh. Jinyong realized one of these days he would have to let that go, but for now, it continued to burn a massive, gaping hole inside of him.

You felt small, like a child begging for forgiveness after running away from home with her head hung low. “You weren’t what I was running from,” you countered softly.

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” said Jinyoung. But I wish you would.

“Jinyoung, you saw me,” you replied, as if reading his mind. “Everyday I had to look you in the eyes and see how fucking terrified you were when you looked at me.”

Jinyoung remembered that, though he tried desperately not to. There were countless nights he tried to drown the image of you out of his mind, withering away before his very eyes. “We were in it together,” he whispered, hurt.

He wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right either. Yes, Jinyoung was always by your side, but he didn’t know the battles raging inside of you. He would never know the agony you felt. “I was the only one in that car,” you spoke firmly.

Jinyoung moved the phone from his mouth, stifling his rage. He would never forget the day he almost lost you forever, but even though you were back safe in his arms, he saw the light had faded from your eyes. The girl he knew and loved had left him.

At his silence, you were finally given the chance to say your peace. “I became defined by my trauma. I was dying inside little by little every day. I was losing who I was. The girl you fell in love with was fading away until I was just this shell of a person I used to be.”

Jinyoung swallowed the lump in his throat. “You had to get out.”

You nodded, though he couldn’t see. “I did.”

“I respect you for saving yourself, but I resented you for not saving me, too,” Jinyoung confessed, his voice nearly breaking.

Tears welled in his eyes. The hurt was festering inside him again. He relived the day you left him over and over until it was branded permanently across his memory. He waited for the pain to dull, to fade, but time never healed that wound.

“I wanted to,” you murmured, a tear escaping down your cheek. “When I came here I had a plan. I would work my ass off by night and go to school by day. I wanted to make a life for us and I wanted to be the girl I always dreamed of being.”

Jinyoung straightened his shoulders and buried his emotions as he always did. He couldn’t dwell on them. The more he did, the more the hole in his chest deepened. It threatened to rip him at the seams. “So, we went different ways toward the same goal.”

Your first instinct was to argue, but you mulled. “I guess we did.”

“You weren’t the only one who changed,” Jinyoung spoke in a low tone, rising from his chair to top off his glass. “If you were defined by your trauma, then I was defined by my anger. I let it put me on paths I would have never gone otherwise.”

You often thought of Jinyoung after you left. Did he tear the house to pieces? Did he scream and cry until his lungs gave out? You imagined he burned every picture that ever existed of you and him together.

“Jinyoung, I wanted to take you with me,” you started, biting your lip.

He swallowed down the liquor, gritting his teeth at the familiar burn down his throat, and continued, “I know, but I joined the gangs. That’s not your fault.”

“You did it because of me,” you insisted. “Because of what happened to me.”

Jinyoung paused. The image of you in the hospital - bloodied and bruised - had broken the last of the goodness in him. Jinyoung had danced with the darkness, flirted with the danger, but you leaving him on that driveway was the breaking point; the moment the dance ended and he let the darkness consume him.

“I had always known I would die for you if I had to,” Jinyoung finally said. “When I realized I was willing to kill for you, it changed me.”

“I regret it,” you whispered, face tensing with more tears. “I regret leaving you.”

“Don’t,” Jinyoung replied levelly, though he wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms. “We are who we are because of the choices we made. Like it or not, we are all defined by the bad shit that happened in our lives.”

You sighed loudly, rubbing at your tears with a fist. “You’re right.”

He laughed in surprise and joked, “Someone get that on tape.”

You chuckled, relieved to feel the humor cutting through the tension. After a short pause, you told him, “Goodnight, Jinyoung. I love you.”

“Sleep well, baby,” he said, taking another gulp. “I love you, too.”

You hung up the phone and curled back into bed. The weight of his words kept you awake, haunted by the depths of their meaning and their consequences.

When I realized I was willing to kill for you, it changed me...

You swallowed, imagining Jinyoung’s hands dripping with blood as they came to settle around your throat. But you didn’t cry out in fear, you moaned in pleasure.

Shaking the imagery from your mind, you eventually drifted to restless sleep.

The next morning, you woke to your phone ringing. Heart thudding at the prospect of talking to Jinyoung again, all things considered, you roused yourself and grabbed your phone from the nightstand. Excitement quickly dissipated when you saw the caller.

“Hey, Hoseok,” you answered sleepily. “How are you?”

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he replied, apologetic. “I was calling to ask you that.”

You rose from the bed, stepping toward the window to see what weather to expect for the day ahead. “I’m okay. What can I do for you?”

Hoseok shuffled on the other line and he couldn’t find his voice for a moment, but finally said, “This is really inappropriate of me, but would you like to meet for lunch?”

“Sure,” you responded, brow furrowing. “Why would that be inappropriate?”

“Since we don’t work together anymore.”

You rolled your eyes at his concern and replied, “I still consider you a friend, Hoseok.”

Hoseok was relieved to hear that, but it only worsened his guilt. “I want to apologize and make things right with you. Is that okay?”

The awkwardness from the night before was still clearly present, but it did nothing to undermine the past four years of having Hoseok as a faithful friend and protector. You tried to put him at ease as best you could. “You don’t need to do either. We’re fine. But I’m not opposed to grabbing a bite to eat with you, for old times’ sake.”

“Alright,” Hoseok said, and you could practically hear his smile. “See you at the usual.”

“See you there.”

You hung up and looked at your phone for a moment. Jinyoung had accused Hoseok of having some kind of feelings toward you. Hoseok didn’t deny it, but he didn’t really say anything either. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hoseok had done nothing but be good to you since the day you met him.

Stepping out of the bedroom whilst fastening your earring, Jackson glanced up and asked, “Well, where are you going all dolled up?”

The pleated skirt stopped just above your knees and the sheer white blouse was loose-fitting over your black tank top. It was supposed to be a beautiful day and you dressed accordingly.

“I’m going to lunch with Hoseok,” you told him nonchalantly.

Jackson’s countenance changed on a dime. It was the first time he used a heavy tone with you. “Is that wise?”

Preempting an argument, you countered patiently, “Jacks, listen. He was there for me when I had nothing and no one. Besides, he’s a bodyguard. He won’t let anything happen to me.”

Jackson’s gaze was stern, you almost faltered, but with a sigh, he relented, “I will be right outside the entire time. Non-negotiable.”

“Fine,” you said with a short nod, thanking him for his understanding.

Meanwhile, Yugyeom was thrilled to have something to do. He opened the back door to the Range Rover for you, whistling at your dressed up self. You waved him away with a grin and hopped inside.

Given it was still quite early in the day, the small restaurant was almost empty. You stepped inside, spotting Hoseok at one of the tables. He stood and greeted you warmly, waiting for you to sit before he returned to his seat.

“I hope I didn’t get you into any trouble with the boss,” you spoke quietly.

“Not at all,” Hoseok replied, waving away your worry. “Business as usual today. Some of the girls have been asking about you.”

Your heart clenched a little at that. You were grateful for the friends you made at the agency, but by the nature of the business, no one bonded too closely. “I miss them already.”

Hoseok shifted in his seat and began, “I, uh, asked you here for a reason.”

You assumed to clear the air, but something about his visible discomfort put you on edge. “Let’s hear it,” you said as the waiter set a glass of water before you.

Hoseok paused until the server was out of earshot to say, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

His eyes were heavy as they bore into yours and he spoke under his breath, “For what I’m about to do.”

Your brows stitched.

Hoseok withdrew a folder from behind him and placed it on the table before you. “You know nothing about Jinyoung.”

Your heart sank, but a wave of rage surmounted your disappointment. After a pause, you murmured softly, “I’m the only one that knows him.”

“You know the old him,” Hoseok told you with a shake of his head and proceeded to pull a photo from the file.

At the tiniest glimpse of blood, you slammed your hands down over his, eyes fixated to his face. You didn’t know you were capable of the level of anger surging through your body and your voice came out a low growl, “Hoseok, I’m warning you.”

Hoseok hesitated. You were seething before him, gripping his hands and keeping them on the counter, blocking the image from view. Slipping from your grasp and placing a hand over yours tenderly, he warned, “I don’t want you to get into bed with a man like that.”

You bristled and snapped, “Hoseok, I’m not naive. I know everyone likes to think I’m the little girl that’s just a plaything for a powerful man. Every girl in the agency gets into bed with bad men, worse men. The only difference is your feelings for me.”

Hoseok blinked.

Fear crept up your spine. Emotion gripped your throat tight. Lips trembling, you thought, Please don’t show me the monster I created.

Hoseok lowered his head, sighing loudly. Without another word, he pulled the photo from beneath your hands and tucked it back inside the folder.

Seeing him back down, you asked, “You know who told Seokjin about me and Jinyoung?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“An interested party,” came a voice behind you.

As you turned, the man sitting blithely at the table behind yours had moved to your side. He spoke your name in greeting, a sinister smile plastered to his face, and said, “I’m Jiwon, a former employee of Jinyoung’s.”

“Disgruntled, it would seem,” you deadpanned.

“Why don’t you hand me that phone?” he sneered, glancing down at your lap and holding out his hand.

Your phone had been in your right hand, concealed beneath the table, and you were attempting to text without looking, hoping to get a message off to Yugyeom or Jackson or even Jinyoung, for all you cared.

Shifting your gaze to Hoseok, you noticed the shame on his face before he hung his head.

“No, I think I’ll hang onto it,” you replied, hiding your phone behind your back.

Jiwon exhaled loudly for dramatic effect as he sidled into the seat next to you, pulling a switchblade from his pocket. The bite of metal was suddenly cold against your waist, even through the fabric of your shirt.

You looked down at the blade and swallowed the lump in your throat. It all made sense now. Jackson staying over. Being hesitant to let you go to lunch. You were in danger. And now Jackson was right outside, but had no idea you were at a stranger’s mercy.

Bringing your gaze back to his face, you asked, “Are you going to stab me in the middle of a restaurant, Jiwon?”

Jiwon leaned in and whispered in your ear, “Believe me when I say I’ve done much, much worse.”

You believed him. Trapped between him and the wall, there was nowhere for you to run, no way to escape. With a frown, you handed him the phone without further resistance.

“What do you want?”

Jiwon slipped your phone into his back pocket and sang, “I want to open your pretty little eyes. Help you see the light where Jinyoung is concerned.”

You tried to stay calm, appearing unaffected. Instead, you feigned annoyance. “If you have a problem, take it up with him. I’m just his toy.”

“Nah, sweetheart,” he crooned, stroking a finger over your cheek. “You’re his baby.”

Everything about this man repulsed you and you tried to lean away, but the switchblade followed, staying pressed to your side. “Then, you know you should leave me alone,” you warned.

Jiwon took your threat in stride and said, “He started off small after you left him. Guns, drugs, women. Easy to imagine Jinyoung as a pimp, isn’t it?”

Your eyes burned.

“With patience and dedication, he ascended the ranks. Made a name for himself. He’s ruthless and rightly feared in the underground.”

You knew you were on the verge of tears, but above everything else, you couldn’t risk crying in front of this man. “Stop,” you choked out.

“Don’t you wanna know where all the money comes from? How he’s able to spoil his baby girl like he does,” Jiwon taunted, spinning a lock of your hair around his finger as he toyed with you. “Rich and powerful people have problems that can’t be seen or they will lose everything. Jinyoung is the one they call to fix those problems.”

“You’re lying.” You were adamant, but anyone could tell you believed him. You knew he was telling the truth.

“Am I?” Jiwon questioned, motioning to the table. “Look at the file. I got it for you. That’s a government official file. Everything they have on him.”

You looked at the manila folder before you and the next words out of your mouth surprised even you, “I don’t care. Whatever’s he done… I still love him.”

Jiwon cocked a brow. “Anything?”

“I can’t stop loving him,” you muttered in defeat. “I tried.”

Jiwon sighed yet again. “Oh, baby girl. If I can’t turn you against him, then I have no choice but to take you away from him.”

“Jiwon,” Hoseok warned. That clearly wasn’t part of the deal when he gave his cooperation.

“You’re done,” Jiwon shot back with a pointed finger.

Your eyes widened as Jiwon tugged harshly on your arm and you exclaimed, “Hoseok, you would rather I be dead than with Jinyoung?”

Jiwon pressed the blade to your side, glancing around. “Get up and walk. Don’t make a scene.”

A phone rang in the background. The owner of the restaurant answered and not a moment later, he began yelling to close down the shop.

“Shit, he’s on to me,” Jiwon cursed, leaping to his feet and hoisting you up violently. “Let’s go, baby bird.”

You struggled - it was your body’s natural instinct - and yelled, “If you’re just gonna kill me anyway, I won’t make it easier for you.”

Jiwon weighed his options. He needed you; you were the only card left to play, but you had no intention of going quietly. The situation was devolving. The restaurant cleared out. And Hoseok was starting to move toward you.

“Jiwon,” shouted a familiar voice.

You caught a glimpse of Jackson barreling inside before Jiwon released you, turning tail and running as his life depended on it. You staggered with adrenaline into Hoseok’s arms, pushing him away angrily.

“Hoseok, get out of here,” you snapped, trembling with nerves. “For the years you took care of me, I can give you this one chance. I may not be able to save you when he gets here.”

Hoseok gave you a parting glance filled with regret before reaching for the folder on the table.

“No, that’s mine. Remember?” you spoke under your breath.

Hoseok looked between you and the file, then he left without a goodbye or an apology.

Though you expected neither.

You grabbed the folder and hurriedly stuffed it into your purse, plopping down onto your seat and grabbing your untouched glass of water with a shaky hand.

The door opened and by the slow, drawn-out footsteps, you knew exactly who was coming.

Jinyoung slipped into the seat across from you, trying desperately to conceal the turmoil on his face.

“Are you…,” he began unsurely.

“Don’t,” you interrupted, refusing to look at him. Your blood was boiling.

Jinyoung exhaled loudly through his nose and respected your wishes. For a moment or two, you sat there in silence until you finished your glass of water.

“Are you happy?” you finally forced the words out. “Is this what you wanted?”

He frowned.

Gazing down at your trembling hands, you murmured, “You know, that day they kidnapped me, I swore I would never go through that again. If anyone ever tried to take me, I would fight like hell. I would rather die than be taken to whatever horror they had waiting for me.”

“Baby…,” Jinyoung started, wanting to silence you. This was dangerous territory for him. He couldn’t bear to hear anymore.

You set your jaw. “We both know what was gonna happen to me, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung rubbed his hands over his face. He couldn’t stomach it; he never could. Even at the hospital, he refused to listen when the police tried to tell him about the men who had taken you and what their intentions were. The town had been descending deeper and deeper into depravity.

And even though salvation had come, you still lost a part of yourself. Your peace. Your joy. From that moment on, you stopped seeing people. You only saw danger.

Jackson rounded the corner, approaching swiftly. “Jinyoung, we got him. What do you want to do?”

Jinyoung looked at you for a moment. You still refused to meet his eyes. In fact, your attention remained fixated on your shaking hands. And he was overcome with hatred.

“I’ll be right back.”

You stood sharply in dissension and called after him, “Jinyoung.”

Your lover rounded on you, speaking darkly and slowly, “Sit.”

Everything in you resisted for the sake of your stubbornness and pride, but your body obeyed him without a second thought. The Jinyoung standing before you was an entirely different animal.

Your eyes lingered on his back as he stepped out of your sight.

Jinyoung ambled into the alleyway, devoid of expression as he approached the dead end. Jiwon was there on his knees, Jaebeom standing over him with a fist in his hair.

“Jiwon, I knew you were crazy, but I never thought you to be stupid,” Jinyoung chastised, taking your phone from Jaebeom’s outstretched hand.

Jiwon spat blood from his mouth. Jackson had not hesitated to inflict punishment on him when caught, resulting in the busted lip and broken nose. “I’m flattered,” he grumbled, obstinate.

Jinyoung slipped his hands in his pockets and drifted closer, appearing almost indifferent. The bloodied sight was pleasing to his eyes, fanning the fires of his rage.

“I admit, you had me for a moment, but all you did was wake the bear.”

“I already screwed you, Jinyoung-ie,” Jiwon taunted, flashing a grin of crimson-stained teeth. “I gave them every shred of condemnable shit I have on you.”

Jaebeom clocked a glance at Jinyoung. He knew what that meant. Jackson clenched his jaw, enraged.

Jinyoung didn’t flinch, didn’t bat an eye. “Then, I’m doing you a favor. There is no life on these streets for a snitch.”

Jiwon laughed. “No point in killing me. You’re going to lose her. I won.”

“I win,” Jinyoung replied. “I’m the one keeping my life.”

The blood drained from Jiwon’s face. The rebellion left him and he exclaimed, “Really, Jinyoung? You’re gonna kill me in broad daylight over this shit?"

Jinyoung glared and retorted, “I would gladly kill you in the middle of Time fucking Square.”

Jiwon whimpered. It finally sank in what a mistake he had made.

Jinyoung crouched down, his eyes scalding. He never made decisions out of vengeance, only strategy, only necessity. Which was what Jiwon had been banking on. But there was a first for everything. Staring his enemy in the face, he whispered, “You put your hands on my girl.”

Jiwon swallowed.

Jinyoung lifted back to full height and gave a single nod to Jaebeom. “Do it.”

Jaebeom pulled the gun from his belt and cocked back the chamber.

“Yugyeom, I swear,” you said sharply, yanking your hand from his grasp. Poor Yugyeom had been trying to usher you into the waiting car and failing spectacularly.

Jinyoung emerged from the alleyway and onto the sidewalk. You overlapped your arms, ignoring Yugyeom’s pleas. Jinyoung took one look at you and knew that you had far surpassed furious.

“What the hell is going on?” you asked loudly. “Why haven’t you called the police?”

Jinyoung dragged his feet to you, outstretching his arm with your phone in hand.

You took your phone, staring down at the screen and seeing your own reflection. It hit you. Jiwon was dead. Threatening you had cost him his life.

“Baby…,” Jinyoung began, ready to face your wrath.

You took a step back at his approach and cried, “What did you get me into?”

Jinyoung lowered his head.

You hissed, gritting your teeth, “This is exactly the life I didn’t want for us!”

“I know.”

That infuriated you. He never sounded so indifferent, so unaffected by something that shredded the fabric of who you were, but you knew he was only hiding. Jinyoung devoted all of his energy to appearing strong on the surface.

“I can’t do this,” you whimpered. “I can’t live in that kind of fear every day. You of all people know that.”

“Come here,” Jinyoung crooned, sliding his hand to the nape of your neck and tucking you into his arms, your face buried against his chest where you belonged.

“No,” you snapped, pushing him back and storming away, wiping your tears roughly with the back of your hand. You had no idea where you were going, just that you needed to get away from him.

Jinyoung knew that, too, and he trudged behind you, always a few steps in your wake. “Where are you going?” he asked, annoyed.

You continued down the sidewalk, aimless and in denial, and shouted, “I’m not doing this. I’m not going through this again.”

“Through what?”

You said nothing.

Jinyoung felt his heart sink somewhere into his stomach. He quickened his pace, grabbing your arm and spinning you round to face him. “Stop and talk to me,” he yelled, afraid.

“You’re going to make me do this all over again,” you spat, shoving his hands away.

Jinyoung was at his breaking point and though he never dared raise his voice at you, this time he screamed, “What the hell am I making you do? Spit it out!”

“Leave you!”

Jinyoung paused, stunned into silence.

You staggered, covering your face with both hands as the tears began to flow. “It killed me last time. It really killed me. I won’t survive a second time.”

Jinyoung frowned and his voice was barely above a whisper when he said, “Then, don’t.”

You shrugged, running out of energy. “What choice do I have?”

“You have me,” Jinyoung snapped, clasping your arms like he was about to shake some sense into you. “We have each other. That’s enough!”

You lowered your gaze to the road beneath your shoes. “I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung refused to listen, refused to believe for a second you would do this. “No.”

“Let go of me,” you whimpered, trying to pry yourself from his grasp.

Jinyoung was too strong and he held you with every fiber of his being. “I’m not letting you leave again,” he hissed bitterly. “I was young and stupid last time, but not anymore.”

What a fool you must have looked; standing on the sidewalk yelling at your lover like something out of a second rate drama. “Jinyoung…”

Jinyoung’s voice was filled with conviction, it seeped into the air around you to the point you could feel his fire inside yourself. “You said it killed you before. Well, it killed me, too! When are you going to realize we can’t live without each other?”

It was a poignant question. You knew the answer the moment you left him four years ago. Without Jinyoung, a piece of you was missing.

Jinyoung softened, only a little. His hands slipped from your arms, moving to cradle your face as he stared into your eyes with longing and devotion. “I don’t care if this way of life gets us killed in the end. At least, we will have been together. You would rather be away from me and safe than with me and in danger? That doesn’t make any sense. Your place in this life is with me!”

“I know,” you sighed.

“Then, stop all this bullshit about running away,” he growled. “I know you’re scared. I’m scared shitless, too. But I know what I’m doing now. I take care of you and you take care of me. That’s it. That’s the bottom line. Nothing else matters.”

You had no argument and even if you did, you wouldn’t use it. All you knew was that you wanted to be with him. You never wanted to be parted from him again for an instant. He was where you belonged and you finally came to accept it.

But you couldn’t justify his way of life and you snarled under your breath, “You know why I hate the gangs. Why I hate everything about what you do.”

Jinyoung nodded and spoke diplomatically, “I know every reason why. I hate them for all the same reasons. But I learned a long time ago, if you can’t beat them, own them.”

You sighed and peered up at him with bloodshot eyes. The file in your purse felt suddenly heavier. “How many people have you killed?”

Jinyoung blinked, surprised by your question. But he answered without hesitation, “None.”

You tilted your head. “You have other people do it for you, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lied, and not very well. In fact, Jinyoung didn’t even try to change his tone. He knew you would see right through him this time.

“Don’t lie to me,” you pressed; unsure what answer you wanted out of him and knowing damn well nothing he gave you would suffice.

Jinyoung leaned in, slipping his fingers into your hair, and whispered, “I have never taken someone’s life with my own hands.”

That was enough for now. You just wanted to be in his arms. “Take me back to your place,” you ordered stubbornly. “I’m not sleeping alone tonight.”

Jinyoung studied your face and ultimately nodded. His heart was racing. He recognized your fight or flight response - you were ready to bolt. The memory of him chasing that truck down the drive flooded into his mind. You never looked back as he screamed your name, begging you not to leave him.

The car was eerily quiet as Yugyeom drove. You and Jinyoung sat together in the backseat, but there may as well have been a wall erected between your bodies. Jinyoung turned to you only once, seeing your eyes fixated on the window as buildings blurred by.

Jinyoung knew in that moment he had lost. He would wake in the morning and find you gone.

You felt a storm raging inside you; a constant conflict and collision of emotions. The hardest thing you had ever done in your life was leave Jinyoung and for what? He still became what you feared, if not worse. You looked back in regret, wishing you had stayed with him.

Jinyoung called your name.

You turned reluctantly toward him, but he was looking pensively at his hands.

“It was never your job to save me,” Jinyoung said gently.

“Of course it was,” you replied, a little too sharp.

Jinyoung shook his head. “You made the right choice, baby. Now it’s my turn.”

You rolled your eyes and angled back to the window before tears could stream down your face.

If the car was quiet and tense, the penthouse was much worse. Jinyoung had your study materials brought from your house and then ordered food, not that you had much appetite. Then, he locked himself in his bedroom and didn’t come out again.

You studied as best you could, occasionally stealing glances of his door. Yugyeom did his best to alleviate some of the stress, but his humor could only go so far. You spent the afternoon on the verge of tears as you poured over textbooks. In the evening, you indulged yourself with reruns on the television.

By the time night fell, the bedroom door opened and Jinyoung stepped out, looking quite disheveled. He had clearly slept most of the day away.

“Go home,” he told Yugyeom.

Yugyeom leapt from your side without argument. He had a penchant for rebellion and teasing, but even he knew neither of you were in a lighthearted mood at the moment.

You said your goodbyes and watched Jinyoung for an explanation.

Jinyoung cocked his head toward the bedroom and said, “Let’s go to bed.”

You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at him. You wanted to be angry, perpetually reminded of the day’s events and the folder in your purse that could very well hold the fate of your relationship inside. Standing up sharply, you stomped into his bedroom and Jinyoung closed the door behind you.

Jinyoung rifled for a white tee while you unbuttoned your blouse. Your eyes were on his back as you tossed the shirt away, tugging your tank over your head and unclasping your bra impatiently. Jinyoung faced you, failing to hide the way his attention fell to your naked breasts.

You pulled your skirt down until it dropped in a pile around your feet and there you stood in only your panties. Jinyoung bit his lip, pupils widening at the sight before him. You grumbled under your breath and held out your hand.

Jinyoung tossed the tee to you, which you pulled on quickly, and watched you clamber into his bed. You settled on the mattress and made yourself comfortable beneath his messy array of blankets. On your side, you closed your eyes and buried your face against the pillow.

It smelled deeply of him.

“Should I crash on the couch?” Jinyoung asked bluntly a moment later. He was trying to gauge just how angry you were at him.

Your fuse was short and you barked, “Get in here, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung didn’t hesitate to crawl into bed behind you, tucking to your back and curling an arm around your waist. It didn’t matter how furious you felt, being in his arms provided a feeling of safety and security you could never find anywhere else. When you were with Jinyoung, you were untouchable, invulnerable.

“I will never love anyone but you,” Jinyoung whispered into your skin, his breath hot on your neck. “I need you to know that.”

“I know,” you sighed, eyes fluttering closed.

Jinyoung flexed his grip, holding you tightly. He wanted to lose himself inside you, until only the good parts of him remained. If there were any left. Jinyoung knew he was far beyond redemption.

Not long after midnight, the emptiness of the bed woke you. Adrenaline snapped you to attention, threatening to keep you awake for as long as it took to find Jinyoung and bring him back to bed.

“Jinyoung?” you called out, striding to the bedroom door and expecting to see him sulking on the couch.

But then you heard a noise in the bathroom and stopped, approaching the ensuite and opening the door.

There, you found Jinyoung on the tiled floor, sitting across from the toilet as he proceeded to cry his eyes out. You took one look at him and collapsed, falling to your knees and reaching for him.

“What happened?” you exclaimed, flinching when he batted your hands away.

“Nothing,” Jinyoung snapped, covering his red face as the tears streamed down his cheeks.

He looked on the outside the way you felt on the inside - like a total, hopeless wreck.

“What is it, Jinyoung?” you asked frantically, attempting to take his cheeks between your palms. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“Yeah, I did,” Jinyoung shouted, his voice reverberating off the tiled walls. “I dreamt the love of my life threatened to leave me again and I had no one to blame but myself!”

You fell back as if you had been slapped across the face. Blinking through your own tears, you studied Jinyoung and how devastated he looked. The facade he paraded himself behind had shattered into pieces and you were determined to sift through the ruins.

“I won’t leave you, Jinyoung,” you whispered tenderly, cradling his face though he looked away. “You were right earlier. We can’t survive without each other. We never could.”

Jinyoung tilted his head back, resting against the wall, and merely shook from side to side as if his entire body was saying no. He blinked slowly, finally meeting your eyes, and hissed, “I don’t believe you.”

Bristling, you snapped, “Well, kiss my ass then.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened momentarily in surprise before the slightest smile took over his lips.

Rising to your feet, you stepped over him and into the shower, turning on the water before returning to him. “Get up.”

He peered up at you and said nothing.

“I said get up,” you huffed, reaching down and grabbing him by the shirt with both hands.

Jinyoung allowed you to pull him up and drag him into the shower, but he growled your name in surprise when the cold water hit his skin. You held him tightly to you beneath the running water, both of you quickly drenched while clothed, and assumed he would try to escape.

You had no idea what you were doing. Naturally you had assumed the water would be hot, given how damned expensive his penthouse was. Perhaps you just wanted a diversion, something to alleviate the heavy emotions threatening to suffocate you both.

Jinyoung fixed his gaze to your face, looking positively annoyed, and both of you fell into laughter at the same time at how ridiculous this was. You were relieved to see him smiling, heart fluttering when he leaned his forehead against yours and let his hands rest on your waist.

Overcome with your feelings for him, you fell forward, colliding into his chest and smashing your lips on his.

Time came to a screeching halt. Jinyoung cupped your face and smiled against your mouth, pleased by the urgency of your kisses.

He indulged your tongue slipping past his teeth for a moment and then he was on you, tangling his fingers in your hair while capturing you in a kiss full of hunger. His body pushed against yours, backing you into the wall roughly. You cried out at the contact, but he silenced you with his tongue.

“Fuck, why am I still so in love with you?” Jinyoung groaned.

“I love you,” was all you could say, tears stinging your eyes.

Jinyoung leveraged you against the tiled wall, slipping his hips between your legs. His next kiss was gentle, his eyes open to see the heat on your face.

Water mingled from the shower into your mouths, but all you could taste was him. Every slow, calculated tease of his tongue had you reeling. Your heart was beating at a steady but accelerated thrum, anticipating what would follow these passionate kisses.

“Jinyoung,” you finally whimpered, running out of patience.

“Shh,” he quieted you softly, kissing the corner of your mouth. “Just you and me, baby. Always.”

You hummed when his lips drifted to your neck, sucking at the base of your shoulder. You gasped in a breath, slipping your arms beneath his to sink your fingers into his shoulders. He was going to unravel you, you could feel it.

“Don’t stop,” you told him breathlessly, letting your head fall back against the tile and hooking a leg over his hip.

Jinyoung marred your beautiful neck, sucking and biting. Without a word, he slipped his hands beneath your thighs and hoisted you up, carrying you into the bedroom. You panted softly against his ear, heart racing with desire and expectation. You thought at any moment your chest would explode.

Jinyoung set you down on the bed beneath him, hovering over you and returning his kisses to your neck. Every smack of his lips was wet on your damp skin, droplets of water still streaming down your bodies from the impromptu shower. Jinyoung pried your hands from around him and stood upright, dragging your hips forward to the edge of the bed.

You exhaled nervously, slipping a hand into your hair. Your face was hot. Your pulse raced. With his simplest touches you were ready to shatter into a million pieces in his hands.

Jinyoung grasped the hem of your shirt and pushed it upward until you sat up and made it easier for the garment to slip over your head. He pressed another kiss to your lips, trying to calm your racing heart.

You watched with bated breath as he slipped his fingers in the band of your panties and brought them slowly down your legs. You couldn’t help but squirm beneath his heated gaze.

Jinyoung roamed his palms down your soft thighs, kissing and tonguing his way down the inside of your thigh before giving a swift bite. You squeaked slightly at the sharp pinch of his teeth, but your core clenched with delight, betraying you entirely.

He traveled up your body again, cupping your face and kissing you hard. You held him desperately and moaned into his mouth, grabbing his shirt and yanking it off of him. Jinyoung parted from your lips with a chuckle and stood again, gazing down at you naked and bare for him.

You watched him begin pushing down his pants, meeting your eyes and whispering, “I’ll go slow, baby.”

All you could do was nod and swallow the lump in your throat. You dared not say anything. Part of you was convinced that at any moment he would leave you wanting as he had done so many times before. Your mouth watered when he discarded his pants and his hard cock came into view.

Jinyoung finally kneeled on the bed, grasping the insides of your knees and lifting your legs how he saw fit, spreading you apart. You lay there like you forgot how to function. You were entirely at the mercy of the overwhelming need for him inside you.

You gripped handfuls of the sheets in your fists, losing your mind with restraint. Jinyoung guided himself to your entrance, pushing the head inside and watching you tense beneath him.

Jinyoung smirked at your sensitivity and grasped his cock, slipping his shaft between your folds and coating himself with your wetness. He watched your reaction as he teased your bundle of nerves with the tip of his length.

“Jinyoung, inside,” you keened, your body taut with desire. If he only knew how badly you throbbed and ached for him.

Jinyoung propped over you, chest-to-chest, and kissed your nerves - and impatience - away. He teased his tongue in your mouth and palmed over your breast, rubbing his cock between your slit.

Then, you felt his hips shift and he penetrated you slowly, filling you at an agonizing pace. You had no choice but to feel every inch of him bottoming out. You pressed your eyes closed and moaned for all to hear, legs bending beside his hips.

Jinyoung let out a groan, sheathing himself inside your warm cunt. His lips parted with a shaky breath.

He was so big. You couldn’t fathom how he fit so perfectly, so tight without ripping you open. That first thrust was always the best, making your body shudder with pleasure as you stretched to accept him.

Jinyoung was not faring any better than you. His lips were back on yours, but he breathed heavily. You were a vice on his cock, kneading and pulsing around him with need.

You gave him a nod that you were ready and Jinyoung lifted, propping himself on his fists and drawing back his pelvis to thrust into you. You bit your lip and let your hands lay at opposite sides of your head. You stared up at him in reverence, whimpering after another hard smack of his hips.

Jinyoung glanced down, growling at the sight of your pussy stuffed full of his thick cock. He fucked you at a steady pace, pushing himself in and dragging back out.

It felt so good, even better than you knew it would. Your soft whimpers and moans filled the room, music to Jinyoung’s ears.

He only touched where your bodies connected and the sight was erotic. You bent your knees and angled your hips to accept him deeper, sighing loudly in ecstasy. Jinyoung watched your breasts bounce each time his cock drove inside your tight pussy.

You wanted to smile. Jinyoung was making love to you.

He had a penchant for being rough, dominant, but there were times he could be gentle. Jinyoung loved taking pleasure from your body and fucking you to orgasm, but for now he took his time, wanting to savor the feeling of finally being one with you again.

“Deeper,” you coaxed, voice raspy. “Harder.”

Jinyoung finally tore his gaze away from his cock disappearing inside your cunt to look at the hooded lust on your face. He brought a hand to your throat and gripped snugly, not enough to put pressure, but certainly enough to snare your attention.

“Take what I give you,” he growled, stealing a kiss none too gently.

You held his wrist, walls tightening at his total dominance over your body, and nodded your obedience.

Jinyoung was about to lose his mind. He could hear the wet suck of your pussy each time he pushed his cock inside. He knew he couldn’t last much longer. The harder he went, the faster he would finish.

The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin. Given the weeks of tension and the years of distance, you knew this would be fast. You knew he would make short work of you.

Tears slipped from your eyes. From pleasure. From emotion. You cried for the years wasted without him and for how complete you finally felt now that he was buried inside you.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Jinyoung crooned, reaching up to wipe a tear with his thumb.

You clenched your fists in the sheets beside your head. “I missed you,” was all you could choke out.

“I know, baby,” he said, running his fingers over your nipple before giving your bouncing breast a hard squeeze. “You feel so good. So warm and so tight.”

You moaned. He never slowed his pace, never fell out of rhythm for even a moment. Every inch of his thick cock kept pumping deeper and deeper inside you. You didn’t want it to end. He truly owned you mind, body and soul.

Jinyoung lilted his head. “You gonna be a good girl and come for me?”

“Mm,” you hummed. By his tone, it was not a request.

Jinyoung braced a hand on your hip, pinning you to endure his quickening pace. You shuddered beneath him, throwing your head back as the mattress began to creak from his roughness. He pounded into you, hitting that sweet spot and driving you insane.

“Jinyou…,” was all you could manage.

Jinyoung leveraged both hands on your thighs, throttling into you harder and harder, fucking you good until stars burst behind your eyes. He glanced down to see where your bodies met, where his cock disappeared inside your swollen pussy.

“Come for me,” he said darkly.

You cried out for mercy, body jolting from the intensity of his thrusts. Another hard smack of his hips and you were over the edge, back arching on the bed as your mouth opened in a silent scream.

Jinyoung pinned your arms, wary of your fingernails, and watched your satisfaction with a smirk. Your cunt clamped down on him with a vengeance, making his movements stutter.

The moment you regained some of your senses, you pushed his chest, wrestling him off of you and shoving him to his back. Jinyoung watched you in confusion before grinning with pride, grunting when you straddled him and took his painfully hard cock back inside you.

You watched his mouth gape open, the smallest of moans lingering in his throat. You anchored your hands on his firm chest and bounced your hips up and down.

“F-fuck,” Jinyoung stammered, surprised at how eagerly you rode him, how tightly your innermost walls gripped every inch of his length.

You flipped your hair behind your shoulders and ground yourself down on his cock, wanting him to climax harder than he ever had before. The lines of Jinyoung’s face were tense and furrowed. He was holding back with every shred of strength he had. His chest heaved for breath and his body bobbed on the mattress with how rough you fucked him.

Suddenly, Jinyoung sat up with you in his lap, grasping your waist. “Stay still,” Jinyoung choked against your neck.

“But…,” you started confusedly.

“I don’t want to come yet.”

You giggled and sighed, “I won’t hold it against you.”

Jinyoung released a nervous chuckle and the sound made you shiver. By the weakness in his voice, you knew he really was on the brink of blowing his load.

Grinning, you kept riding him, grappling with his hands as he tried to get ahold of you. You arched your hips, pumping your velvet walls on his cock.

“Say you love it,” you whispered darkly, yanking at his hair until his attention was on your face.

He didn’t hesitate to pant against your lips, “I fucking love it.”

“Come deep, baby,” you spoke even softer.

The familiar swell and throb of him almost made you climax again. With a twitch of his cock, Jinyoung lost himself to pleasure and began to fill you.

“Fuck,” Jinyoung cried out, moaning with every burst of cum that painted your insides.

You held him tighter, shivering at the rapid hot and cold of his breaths on your neck. He overlapped his arms around you, squeezing with all of his might while gritting his teeth.

Jinyoung gave a final groan, utterly spent, laying you on your back and pressing you into the mattress with the weight of his body.

You roamed your hands across his sweaty skin; anywhere and everywhere you could touch. He was scalding against the pads of your fingers, like a raging fire burned inside of him.

Jinyoung stayed sheathed inside and pinned you between his muscly arms, gracing tired, wet kisses to your lips. “Are you okay?” he asked tenderly.

You offered him a nod, staring into the glistening black of his eyes. He looked so fucked out, you wanted to grin with a mix of arrogance and satisfaction.

“Say something,” he rasped, searching your face for an answer.

You raked your nails down his back, stopping only when your hands landed on his ass. “Catch your breath,” you warned playfully.

Jinyoung’s eyes flickered with surprise and arousal. Then, he smirked.

You took his lip between your teeth and tugged, and your voice was husky when you purred, “The night’s just getting started...”

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a/n : this story was previously Lacuna on my old blog, minheoney. I’m really excited to finally finish it! This fic was my baby for so long and I’m ridiculously happy to give it a new home :)

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

#got7 fanfiction #got7 #park jinyoung #got7 smut #jinyoung smut #park jinyoung smut #got7 fanfic #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung fanfiction #got7 scenario #got7 imagine #got7 reaction #got7 au

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the-daily-multi-fandom-post · 4 years ago

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Hii ! Can you please write an imagine where Elijah Mikaelson's girlfriend turn off her humanity after her twin brother died, he found her in a bar where she's dancing and killing people she compels to stay etc, and he try to help her get her back, even if she's mean to him?

I love Elijah mikaelson. I feel like he needs a bit more love! So I’m here to give it. Lmao. Here it is I hope you like it. Ps. I kinda changed it a bit. Reader is going to be his wife not Girlfriend. Just saying. Enjoy! 😘

This is the song I use. In this. It’s one of my favorites that I can relate to. Tbh. Listen to it if you’d like. ✌️

Y/n was lost without her twin brother. Her heart was shattered as she watched Mikel rip his heart out. She sobbed, her heart felt like it too had been ripped out. Everyone could hear the heart shattering in her cries. She bared her teeth as she vamp sped to Mikel. Grabbing his heart and ripping it from his chest. “I’ll see you in hell you fucking bastard.” As she watch ed his face and the rest of his body turn gray.

She pushed him backwards, taking his heart and dropping it down onto the grass. Looking back to her dead twin lying on the ground. Motionless and still be laid there. His body gray from his death. Y/n slowly walked up to her brother. Tears running down her Y/e/c eyes. Her hands were bloody as she kneeled down. Pulling her brothers body into her arms. Holding him one last time.

Elijah walked up to the clear spot in the woods just off the bayou. His heart broke at the arriving scene. His wife sitting on the ground tears going down her face as she held a limp body in her arms.

“He’s dead.” Her voice broken, Sore from all the crying and of the begging. Begging her brother just to come back to her. Just as he was about to say who he seen his fathers dead body on the ground. A hole where mikels heart once was, his cold dead heart beside him.

“I killed him.” She starred straight ahead. Just looking out to the bayou. “Darling, are you okay?” Slowly walking up to her he seen the body in her arms. Recognizing the body as his brother-in-law.

“Mikel, killed him. He killed him to make me angry or upset.” Y/n started. “I’m can’t do this.” She whispered to herself. Elijah just barely hearing her. “No, Y/n.” He told her kneeling down pulling her face to look at him. “It’s going to be okay. I know it’s hard, but I’m here for you. I will never let this ever happen again. I should’ve been here.” He vowed looking deeply in his wife’s eyes. Pushing her Y/h/c hair out of her y/t/c blood splattered face.

“I’ve been alive for hundreds of years, Elijah. Just as long as you have. You and I, we were friends when we were children. We’ve been through so much together. I’ve seen as much death as you have. But to lose my brother. My twin brother, I-I can’t bare it.” She cried. Tears streaming down her face. “Y/n, look at me.” He pulled chin up to look at him. Searching deeply in her eyes. “I’m here, just let me help you.” He whispered against her forehead lying a soft kiss against it.

They stay like that for a little while. His arms wrapped around her as she held onto her brother. She kissed her brothers head as she stood up. Elijah standing with her, pulling her straight into a hug. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he cooed. Trying to get her to calm down. Her body shaking as she sobbed. “I’m here, just let it out.” She choked out on a sob. Coughing as she struggled to breath.

“I can’t. I can’t.” She sobbed pulling, no pushing away from him. “Let me help you.” He spoke, trying to comfort his wife of like a thousand or so years. He pulled her back into his arms. He heard her slowly nod as she kissed his shoulder. He felt as tears left her eyes. Pulling away she looked into his brown eyes. “I’m sorry.” He looked at Y/n confused. “What are you taking about?” He asked, just as she snapped his neck.

Y/n ran. She had to leave. She didn’t want to turn it off, but that was the only way she knew to get the pain to go away. There was no amount of time or booze to keep the pain of lost away. Cutting off her humanity made her feel free. She didn’t have the heavy burden of emotions on her shoulder. She felt like she could do anything. And she could do anything.

She smirked as she got in her black 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS. Speeding away with a couple bottles of whiskey in the front seat. Driving she let the roads lead her to wherever. And wherever was a bar outside of New Orleans.

“Alright, I need everyone’s attention. She spoke into the microphone taking it from the DJ booth. “You guys are to act normal. No matter what you see you will continue as if nothing is happening. And nobody leaves. Do you understand?” She compaled everyone in the bar. Everyone nodded or said yes then went back to dancing and drinking having a good time. Y/n smiled, walking behind the bar and grabbing a bottle of bourbon. Drinking some of it she smiled.

Dancing in the crowd she smiled. Dancing and grinding against a Green eyed man. He looked like he was around 20. She smiled making eye contact with him. “Your hot.” She said over the music. He smirked as he pulled her in from her hips. She smirked. Leaning in and kissing his neck then biting into his neck. Not even flinching or hissing from the bite. Her worked Compulsion working.

She drained the green eyed man in the matter of minutes. Leaving his dead body in the floor then continued to party as if nothing had happened. Y/n made her way through the dance floor killing people, dancing, and drinking her whiskey.

“Yasss, this is a good song!” She said as one of her favorite songs came on.

“Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort!” She sang! Head banging as she weaver through the crowd back to the bar. Climbing onto the bar top, dancing and drinking. Having a real good emotionless time.

“Cut my life into pieces! I've reached my last resort! Suffocation, no breathing! Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding!” She screamed/sang out the lyrics.

Her bottle of bourbon was empty. She huffed throwing the bottle across the room listening to its thick glass shatter. Grabbing another bottle of booze she continued dancing and singing on top of the bar top.

“Cause I'm losing my sight, Losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine. Losing my sight, Losing my mind, Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine, nothing's alright, Nothing is fine. I’m running and I'm crying, I'm crying I'm crying, I’m crying. I'm crying.” She dance the men at the bar watching as she dance and sang.

Some smiling and smirking. Some others reaching out to touch her. Those who go to touch her she allows a little bit. She would sit in their laps. Giving them a little fun and then would bite down onto their necks. Feeding on them until they bleed out. Leaving a large amount of bodies on the floor or hanging off chairs.

Y/n nodded and smiled dancing around having a grand ol time as she heard the music stop.

“Why the hell did the music stop?!” She called out looking towards the do booth. Looking at the DJ who had just stopped the music she seen her husband and her brother-in-law Klaus.

“Hello boys.” She smirked before throwing the bottle of booze at the two original brothers. “Come to party?” She smirked. Watching as the two just barely missed the flying bottle.

“Or are you hear as the party police?” Grabbing another bottle as she moved over to a ginger haired man. She smirked as the man wrapped an arm around her waist. Her smirk deepened when she heard Elijah growl.

“We are here to help you.” Elijah spoke. Klaus smirked seeing his older brother getting upset over the mans arm wrapped around Y/ns waist.

“Oh really? I don’t seem like I need help. Jack, do you think I need help?” Y/n asked the young man. He seemed like he was barely 21. He shook his head as y/n looked into his brown eyes. “Words baby boy.” She spoke seductively. “No, you don’t need help.” His voice monotone because of the compulsion.

“See I’m all fine and dandy. Now if you’ll go I have things to do.” She smiled. Biting into the mans neck. She sighed feeding on the man happily. “Y/n, love you need to stop.” Klaus said as he started walking up to Y/n. “Make one more move and I slaughter the rest of the people here then continues through the states. Maybe even leave and go somewhere else. Have a world wide murder spree.” Y/n demanded looking as the two brothers stop mid-step.

“Good, now let me enjoy my snack.” She continued feeding on the man. Loving the way the blood quickly flowed into her mouth. “Man you taste so good.” She moaned against the mans neck. “I might just save you for later. Maybe even give you a good time before I kill you.” She flirted. The man smirked as he pulled her onto his lap. She could feel him under her making her smirk. “Enough of this!” Elijah demanded. Catching Y/ns band before she could move it to the back of “Jacks” neck.

“Klaus get the rest of them to leave. I’ll deal with Y/n.” Klaus nodded, not arguing with his big brother.

“Oh, Klausy. Listening to your older brother know, eh? See I liked reckless Klaus. It was hot and Sexy.” Y/n spoke looking at Klaus then looking at Elijah out of the corner of her eye. Smirking when she seen his jaw clench in anger. “There was so many times I wanted to sleep with you. Man, I’d sleep with you right now if Elijah here wasn’t holding onto me like I’m gonna disappear. “Well love. I love the offer, but I don’t think my brother would appreciate that.” Klaus smiled. His hands behind his back walking up to them.

“Well, I guess I have to do this by myself.” Jerking out of Elijahs hold she vamp sped to Klaus. Breaking his neck and looking at Elijah. “Let’s talk.” She spat. Going around the bar and fixing her a drink.

Grabbing a margarita glass she started fixing her drink. Putting some ice in it as Elijah started talking.

“I’m giving you five minutes to talk then you’ll either be dead or outta this bar.” Elijah huffed as he watched her fix the drink.

“I love you. I hope you know that. I’m fighting for you for us. Baby, just listen to me.” He grabbed Y/ns soft hand as she was pouring the tequila in the glass.

“I love you. I never wanted any of this to happen. If I knew Mikel was going to go after Jason I never would’ve went with Klaus and Hayley. I would’ve been there with you and him.”

Y/n started daggers into his brown orbs. She looked at her wrist that was still in the hands of Elijah. “Let. Go.” He nodded letting go of Y/n. “You know what.” She started. Taking the bottle of tequila and just pouring it in the glass adding a little bit of mix. Stirring it then she took a sip. Testing it out. Then drinking it, no chugging it. She wanted to be drunk, but being a vampire it was hard for her to get drunk.

“I’m done. You know after flipping the switch I feel great. I’m not stuck with you. I’m not missurable. I don’t feel like I have to do anything, but what I wanna fucking do. If I wanna drink everyone in a bar dry of blood then that’s what I wanna fucking do. If I wanna off and leave then that’s what I wanna do!” She exclaimed slamming her now empty glass (besides the ice) down on the bar top. Shattering the cup because of how hard she put the cup down. “And.. I just want to be able to do whatever the hell I want without worrying about it. Hell, worry ain’t even in my mind when I don’t have the switch on. Right now I feel nothing! And you ain’t gonna do anything about it.” She spat at him.

Elijah stayed quiet. He knew this wasn’t his Y/n. This wasn’t the woman he loved. Y/n has her humanity off, this is her. He told himself. Elijah wished she would just fall into his arms flipping the switch back on, but he knew she wasn’t.

“I don’t wanna be with you Elijah. I never loved you. Hell the only reason I was with you was because I felt like I had to. I mean, did you really think I would be with you for eternity? Hell, I can barely deal with you this long. We’ve had so many fights. I should’ve just left you before it came to this. Before it came to Jason dying.”

Elijah had tears in his eyes as he looked at Y/n. He shook his head as he stood up. “You don’t mean that.” He whispered shaking his head. Y/n scoffed as she looked at him. “We love each other. We’ve loved each other since we were children.” His voice was a bit shaky but he cleared his throat trying to get the nerves out of his voice.

“Well, if I cared so much for you. If I loved you so much why would I do this?” Elijah watched Y/n a little confused. Y/n walked around the bar grabbing the wooden bar chair and slamming it against the bar. The chair shattered and she grabbed the leg of the broken chair. Before she could stop him she shoved the makeshift stake into his heart. “Goodbye, Elijah.” Vamp speeding out of the bar. Elijah fell lifeless onto the floor. His tan skin now gray and cold.

“I always knew she was a fiesty one, but did she have to stake you?” Elijah stared down at the stake he had quite literally pulled out of his heart. “I’ve seen vampires without their humanity before. But Y/n something’s.. different.” Elijah told his brother as he wiped the his blood of his hands onto a napkin. “I’ll call Marcel. Get him to clean all this up then we’ll get your wife. We’ll get her back to normal.” Klaus planned as he started dialing Marcels number. Elijah nodded as he looked around.

The bar was full of dead bodies. At least twenty people were drained. Half of the liquor bottles were empty. Elijah didn’t know how, but he knew he was going to get her back somehow.

Y/n walked down a empty street. She was too sure where she was, but that didn’t really matter to her. She had one or two cars pass her but none stopped. She didn’t care if they stopped or not she was just walking. But when a black SUV pulled up to her she made a plan.

“Hey, are you okay?” The dark skinned man asked her. His brown eyes looking her up and down for any injuries. “No, I need some help. My car broke down and I’m trying to get to a friends house just down the road here.” She spoke, making fake tears run down her face sniffing every few seconds.

“Come on, I’ll give you a ride.” Y/n smiled gratefully and followed the man to the other side of the car. Y/n was right behind him as he opened the passenger seat door. Turning around quickly he injected her with a clear liquid. Her skin was burning as he injected her with what she could guess as vervain. “I-I’m go-gonna kill you.” She threaten as she fell down. He smirked as he pulled out another needle injecting her with more vervain. Him knowing she was an older vampire a little bit of vervain wasn’t keeping her down.

“Ahhhh!” She woke up screaming. Her back burning, feeling like she had took her daylight ring off her hand and decided to go on a walk.

The burning stopped and she felt her skin healing itself. Looking around as her eyes adjusted to the darkness she seen her husband and her family.

“What the hell are you guys doing to me?” Y/n spat at the mikaelson siblings. Staring dead into their eyes. It scared Rebekah seeing no emotions beind your once beautiful, but now cold dead Y/e/c eyes.

“We’re helping you, sister.” Rebekah spoke, her voice wavering just a bit. “Help me? Ha, you can’t barely help yourselves. How the fucking hell are you going to help me?” Elijah shook his head. His heart shattering at the sight of this. Klaus pulled on a rope making the sunlight come in burning Y/ns body. “Bloody hell!” Kol shouted. Walking over to Kaus and stopping him from burning Y/n too much.

“What? This is the plan.” Klaus mumbled to lowly. “Leave, I want to talk to Y/n alone.” Elijah spoke looking at Y/n not looking at anyone else. His siblings nodded silently leaving the room.

“Is this your plan? Torturing your poor wife?” Y/n asked her husband. Elijah shook his head as he leaned down to her. Looking into her eyes and sighed deeply.

“This, whoever this is. Is not my wife. My wife, is lovely and caring. She cares for the people around her. She loves her family and friends. She would give the shirt off her back for anyone. No matter who it was. You, you are not her. Your nothing. And I’m going to bring back my Y/n. The love of my life! My love! The woman who made plans, when we were just small children, to get married and to have children together. Who made the decision to turn to live eternally with me knowing she could never have children being a vampire.“ he rambled trying to bring back some emotions back to her.

He stood up and pasted. Thinking, until he knew what he had to do. Walking behind her he brought his hands up to her temples. “I’m going to show you how are lives would be if we hadn’t turned.” “No.” She whispered as he climbed up into her brain digging through memories until he reached the one when they were children. Talking about what their future together would be.

Y/n was playing in the woods with her two children, her three year old girl, Luna and her four year old son Henrik, named after his late uncle. Y/n playfully ran through the wood holding up her long vilot dress so she would trip over it.

“Ready or not, here I come, my loves.” She called, hearing small giggles she quietly walks over. “I’ve got you!” Her children squealed, trying to run away from her. Y/n smiled widely as she grabbed them and started to tickle them.

“Mama, stooop!” Henrik giggles. Luna smiled as she tried to tickle her mother. “Never!” Y/n laughed. Tickling her son then turning to her daughter tickling her. “I got you!!” Y/n tickled them playfully.

“I love you, mama.” The children said in union. Y/n smiled softly and kissed her children’s temples. “I love you more, my loves, always and forever.” The two children stood up hugging their mother. Y/n smiled as tears went down her face.

“It’s not real!” She cried. Opening her eyes, trying to get her husbands hands off her head. “Please.” She cried. “It can be real.” Elijah said. “No,” y/n cut him off. “It can’t be. We aren’t human and we never will be!” She screamed, tears falling down her face, humanity slowly but surely coming back to her. “There’s a spell, Freya came up with a spell. It’ll work. We can have a family together. You and I, we can have children together. Just like we had planned when we were human.”

Y/n looked into her husbands brown eyes, he could see all her emotions were back. She sobbed as she began remembering everything she had done. All the horrible things she had done and the things she had said to Elijah.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” She sobbed, Elijah sighed, his wife was finally back. She was back to her normal self. Elijah untied her pulling her shaking body into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him as he kissed her forehead. “It’s okay, it wasn’t you.”

Y/n cried for hours. Everything she had done she regretted. She kept apologizing for all the things she had said and done. Elijah carried her out of the cell and up the stairs to their shared bedroom. Lying her down on the bed he lied down next to her. “Is it true?” Y/n whispered playing with his fingers in her hand. “Is what true?” Y/n took a shaky breath in. “The spell, can we really have children?” She asked. He smiled, looking at the hope in bright in her eyes. He nodded. “Freya has been working on an elixir to make us able to have children. It works we had it tested. We can have children.” Y/n smiled as she leaned forwards kissing her husband. “I love you.” She whispered against his lips. “I love you more, my love.”

The end! ❤️🖤❤️🖤

Reblog- you love it

Comment- you really loved it and you wanted me to know or you didn’t like it and your letting me know

Note/like- you just like it.

#the vampire diaries #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #the originals #jeremy gilbert #supernatural #tvd #tyler lockwood #x reader #elena gilbert #elijah mikaelson x reader

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trikxx · 4 years ago

Text

Song for this chapter

•just might - summer walker

• rehab winter in paris - brent faiyaz

"𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 shows canceled in a row what am I supposed to do Ceaira?!" Y/n said through the phone.

"Idk bubs i'd help you if I could but I can't this time we made a promise." "I just need ideas on another way of income Cee thats it." Y/n responded

"What about OnlyFans."

"What."

"OnlyFans. You can use your old skills and do only fans."

"Bitch the only old skill I have is stripping-" y/n stopped to think. "Boom. There you have it. And you have everything you need already so whats the issue?" Cearia said.

"What if my manager finds out?" Y/n asked. "Well lets ask him." Cearia says.

My manager. Carlos Cre. Cearia's boyfriend. Im mean yea he probably wouldn't give two fucks about me having a OnlyFans. Its mostly my rep thats on the line.

"Yoo!" Carlos said. "So Y/n wants to know if she can have a OnlyFans since ya know the income is getting low." Cearia says. " i mean yea its her life."

"Really?" "Yea, do you just don't ya know get hurt."

____

"Ok, wait thats it? That was quick." I say to my self. I walk to my room I used to practice in but now use to relieve stress. "What should I put on for my first post?" I ended up putting on a bunny outfit.

And some clear heels. I set my camera up, started recording and started my music.

____

Y/n slow walked to the pole grabbing it and walking around it. Then she jumped a little putting one leg the pole and leaning back while turning one leg and one arm holding onto the pole.

_____

Y/n ended in a split at the bottom of the pole. She the paused the music and stopped the recording.

*Incoming call from Taleé*

Heyyy Y/n!

Hey Tal

Im good what about you?

Good just a little stressed about work.

We all are right now. With no shows there's not really a lot of income for us.

Yea. Cee told me about that one site called OnlyFans.

Are you gonna do it?

I might im still debating tho and Carlos said it was ok.

DING

Hey Tal im gonna call you back.

Ok talk to you later babe.

*call ended*

I threw on some sweats and a white tee and walked to my door slightly opening it to a red haired male standing outside heavily breath. "Dud- oh shit im sorry i think have the wrong apartment." He said. I noticed that he was bleeding from his side. "Its o- hey are you ok?" I yelled as the male fell to the ground.

Not having enough time to pull him into the apartment. I quickly knelt down next to him and hovered my hands over his wound.

White speckles formed around us forming a shield. Making us invisible to the human eye.

___

The male's eye fluttered open realizing he was in a unknown room. He was laying in a soft bed under a weighted cover. "Wait my clothes." He whispered.

The boy got from under the cover noticing he had on some black sweat pants that fit perfectly. He walked out the dark room with his guard up not knowing where he was. He heard music coming from a room which had colorful lights beaming out of it.

As he got closer to the door he could clearly hear what the song was saying "yea, I just might be a hoe." He heard a voice sing along with the music.

"Oh Hey, your woke." The girl said before he could get close to the door. "I know that your a hero red riot but can I get your actual name since ya know...I saved your life."

"You did? And is this your house?" He said. "Yes now name?" "Ok it's Ejirou Kirishima. Just call me Kirishima though." Kirishima says. Y/n nodded her head "My name is y/n." She continued and walked past him to the kitchen. "Hungry?"

"Uh yes kinda." Kirishima continued to look around the apartment. "Want a tour?" "Huh?" "I said do you want a tour of the apartment." Y/n repeated.

"Uh sure but did you happen to see my phone in my hero suit?" Kirishima asked "Yes its in the room you were in."

"Thanks." Kirishima said walking to go get his phone.

*10 missed calls*

5 unread messages

Bakubro💪: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU SHITTY HAIR!

Bakubro💪: DAMMIT KIRI YOU BETTER NOT HAVE GOTTEN CAPTURED.

Bakubro💪: ANSWER MY DAMN TEXT.

Kirishima: Sorry Bakubro I went to the wrong place and passed out from blood loss but when I woke up I was healed and in someone's house.

Bakubro: Its about time you answered. Send me your location im coming to you.

Kirishima: ok *location*

*Two unread messages*

Karma.: Kiri are you ok. Bakugo told me you weren't answering.

Karma.: Kirishima. This is serious just answer me this one time. for bakugo.

Kirishima❤️: im ok and i already texted Bakugo

Karma.: ok thank you babe💗.

*read*

___

Kirishima scoffs. "was she really his last resort or did she just know because of her quirk." He said to himself before coming out of the room. "Ok you can start." " ok this is the kitchen..obviously."

"This is nice." Kirishima said. "Thank you. Now heres the living room."

"Mmm." "Ok, so of course the room you were in."

"Mhm." "Guest bathroom."

"When we are done you can shower and have not there is clothes the will probably fit you in the closet in the room. Follow me up the stairs."

Kirishima makes a "o" with his mouth as we go up the stairs to my room and bathroom. "My room."

"And you live by yourself?" Kirishima asked. "Kinda. My friend stays over a lot so the guest room is kind of her room." "Mhm." "My bathroom."

"You must really love marble walls." Kirishima said with a small chuckle. "Yea."

"What about the room you were in earlier?" He asked. "Oh that, its nothing just chill room." "Can i see it?" "He Uhh.."

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"OPEN UP RIGHT NOW UNKNOWN BASTARD!"

Y/n looked a Kirishima with an irritated look. "Do you know who that is?" Y/n said walking down the stairs. "Uh yea thats my best friend he's also a hero."

"He seems like a fucking hothead. He got issues?" Y/n said. Kirishima nodded "ok" y/n says swinging the front door open. "Would you keep it the fuck down other people live in this fucking building." Y/n said. The man looked in amusement. "W-WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU TALKING TO!" He yelled again. Y/n look him in his eyes and shut the door.

She turn to a surprised Kirishima. "I'll show the room if you tell your guard dog to back down." Y/n said. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY EXTRA!" The male yelled through the door.

"Ok."

Kirishima opens the door. "Bakugo calm down. She saved my life." Bakugo rolled his eyes and walked in taking his shoes off. "Need some water or tea after all that yelling?" The girl said. "I'll take some water." Bakugo said. "There's some room temp waters in the counter and cold ones in the fridge. I recommend the warm ones to ease the pain."

Y/n motioned for Kirishima to follow her. "Ok. I don't really care if you judge me it's just a at home hobbie.

(I depth about the room. Its like this but smaller and it has more lights and a pole i front of a mirror. There are silks and the hoops but its only one of each. Also theres a curtain in between that side and a side with a small couch and a desk with a computer and etc.)

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU." Y/n yelled. Bakugo looked scared. "YOU CANT JUST GO OPENING SHIT YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS OPENING STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!" "I-I'm sorry."

"don't apologize. just leave. Kirishima you hero outfit is in the closet in the guest room." Y/n said in a calm voice.

____

"Hey y/n can i get you number before I-" Kirishima was cut off by a piece of paper being shoved at his chest. "Here."

"Thank you." Kirishima said walking to the door. "Thank you for saving me."

1437 words

Yooo. Next chapter date is TBD.

•Y/n doesn't want many people to know her past. Only Cearia, Carlos, and Santana know.

•When Bakugo saw y/n his heart kinda fluttered but he didn't know what to do so he kept yelling.

•y/n has a second quirk that almost lost control after what Bakugo did.

Fav emoji? Heres mine 😗.

✰L O V E Y A B E B E S✰

#mha kirishima #mha x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x you #kirishima x y/n #bnha kirishima #bnha eijiro kirishima

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haikyall · 4 years ago

Text

A Splash Wouldn’t Hurt

Synopsis: A luxurious vacation, a vacation you know too well mainly cause it was only in your dreams. But Inarizaki Men's VBC decides to change that.

WC: 4078

Trigger Warning: none

Genre: Fluff

Parining: Inarizaki x Manager!Reader

It was homeroom period when you received a tap on your left shoulder as you were writing notes on what your team members— the Inarizaki Men’s Volleyball Club— should improve on. You look at the direction it came from, you realize there was a figure beside you that was eyeing your work. It was Osamu “Wow, you’re making notes on us? How cute of you,” Osamu says, peering over your notes.

“Yeah, I mean it’s the least I can do as your manager,” You sigh, looking at your notes which included a whole list of what certain members were good and what they should do to improve things they weren’t good at.

“You know, the semestral break is like a week away right?” The wing spiker starts as he sits at the table in front of you. He settles down his bag down and brings out a notebook related to the first period. You were well aware that the semestral break was a week from now. You have been planning to…… well, sleep the break away. You never had any plans to enjoy it, even if you were not part of the middle-class economy, you just felt lazy.

“Yeah, what about it?” You say paying attention to your teammate that was looking at you with an expectant gaze.

“Well, Atsumu and I are having a little yacht party.” Osamu starts. Wait a damn minute… a yACHT PARTY? A Y A C H T? Your eyes widen at what you were hearing, Osamu just smiles at your reaction, knowing well enough that even if you’ve known the twins your whole high school life, you still get overwhelmed at just how wealthy they were as star athletes.

“And the only ones invited are the whole team, without the coaches of course, and by the whole team, we included you on the list.” The second-year continues, okay, I mentioned your eyes widened, this time your eyes went out of your eye sockets. Osamu laughs, loving the reaction he’s getting. You couldn’t believe him. They don’t possibly want you to come, maybe they asked you out of pity and hoped to say no.

“But, I’m just your manager…?” You say, still confused at the offer. Osamu just smiles.

“We appreciate you more than you think.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, the boys looked at you not as a club mate or as a manager, they looked at you like you were their little sister. They genuinely want you to go. But you didn’t know what to bring or do on a yacht, mainly because you’ve never been to one or even seen one. Last time you “saw” a yacht was at your d r e a m s.

“We want you to come, it’s fine if you don't bring anything aside from things you’d bring to a beach like towels or sunscreen.” He trails off. He then looks at you dead straight at the eyes with a pleading look.

“Even I would be sad if you didn’t go.” You felt a little amount of heat creep up on your cheeks.

“…You guys… want me to go?” You hesitantly ask to which Osamu nods eagerly.

“Outings as a family won’t be the same without you,” The second-year says with a small smile on his face, still waiting for you to take the offer. You were still hesitant, how are you going to tell your parents about this? Fortunately, Osamu read exactly what’s on your mind and smirks.

“Kita-kun took care of your parents and they agreed” By this time your jaw fell to the floor and Osamu laughs again, thinking your reaction is cute. You fell silent, what else was stopping you from bonding with them?

“… You want me to bring some marinated lamb? Or steak?” You start, flipping through another page, making a list of what to bring, keeping in mind the favorite foods of each member. The wing spiker is shocked.

“Waaa, you know us that well huh?” You only smile as a reply. The school bell rings, signifying the start of class.

“Start with preparing your luggage for a 5-day trip. Kita-kun will send you the other details.” Was the last thing Osamu says before he turned in front, ready to greet the teacher, leaving you in bewilderment.

‘A little fun with water balloons won’t hurt as well right?’ You thought to yourself, not interested in the class. To others, it looked like you were taking down notes for the class. You scribble away more ideas to make the event more fun.

________ First Day 5:00 am

Your parents dropped you off the dock that you were supposed to meet the boys. You were immediately greeted with Kita, Oomimi, and Akiga. All three hugs you and says their greetings to your parents. Oomimi and Akiga took your belongings and took them to the yacht while Kita thanked your parents for letting you go and bringing you to the dock safe and promises that you will return in alive and in one piece.

“Ahh, our sister is here!” Atsumu greets you with a hug. Osamu takes some of the luggage that Akiga is carrying, seeing that he is struggling.

“You can receive serves and all but you can’t carry a bag?” Osamu disses the libero to which Akiga bites back with

“You’re lucky the volleyball is already inside the damn yacht”

Ojiro just smiles at you saying, “Would you like a roommate or you wanna have a room to yourself?”

“I’ll have a room to myself if that’s fine?” You ask shyly.

“Of course it’s fine you precious little thing!” Atsumu exclaims, ruffling your hair in the process.

“Just beware, we might knock on your door to annoy living hell out of you” The setter teases.

“Today we plan to be a chill day so after the twins do their tour, you do whatever you want and all that,” Kita says.

“Oh, and if you feel the boat speed up or slow down that’s mainly cause Suna-chan is manning the wheel” He continues. Wait a holy minute-

“Yes, Suna has a license and is trained by his father so we should be fine and yes, he knows how to stir the boat, darling” Osamu —who came back together with Akiga and Oomimi after putting your luggage on the boat— completes your thought.

“You’re so cute when you’re shocked like that” Ginjima gushes while the other boys just chuckle.

“Let’s board the boat, shall we?” Atsumu leads the group into the twins’ luxurious and— I kid you not— enormous yacht. You kinda ended up gawking at the boat since it is pretty huge and it’s your first time. Your gawking only ends because Akagi lends you a hand to get on the boat.

“You can stare when you get on it” Akiga teases you, making you turn to a little cherry as you say your apologies and step foot into the yacht, you just end up marveling it at its glory.

“Just like the ones in the movie right?” Atsumu teases. As the group fanboys on how cute you looked when you were processing that you were, in fact, in an actual yacht, you eye the outside portion of the yacht, a bar with stools where the boys were hanging out, some white sofas and grey bean bags with a center table, a grill and the main attraction, jet skis that were parked on the yacht.

“Are these actual…�� You trail off, Osamu smiles at your speechless.

“Jet Skis? Why, yes they are. They are like my babies” Osamu answers.

“Hey ya trap, they’re my babies too!” Atsumu shouts from the bar.

“The twins have a rule that the room picking will happen a little later after the tour so that you can see which room you want.” Kosaku trails off. You nod as you understand the meaning of the rule.

“And it’s a fun game honestly. We also leave our bags at the dock until the tour is over, we won't be making any stops on the islands you will see, it kinda just sight-seeing” He continues and walks over to the twins to which you follow.

“Ya ready? Cause there’s a lot more to take in besides the jet skis” Atsumu teases and you just get a bit more flustered. Cue Kita hitting Atsumu on the nape and the team laughing at them.

“Cut the manager some slack, ‘Tsumu, not everyone’s as fortunate as the two of you” Kosaku states.

“Can we start the tour already? I’m dying to take a nap” Suna yawns and the twins start the tour ________ Time Skip: to 6:00 am

There were essentially 12 rooms all of which have a queen-sized bed and a washroom that has a bathtub and a separate shower hall. There was also another bar with a karaoke and billiard room with some game consoles like Xbox 360, PS4, etc. A gym, a kitchen and dining room, a sauna and jacuzzi a changing room, a viewing deck, and an inflatable slide at the roof of the yacht. The only staff there was were maids, 4 bartenders, a few bodyguards, and another guy that is licensed to stir the boat when Suna is busy.

You and the boys were hanging out at the lower deck which was where you were gawking the jet skis. They made you decide on the room you want. You chose the room nearest to the viewing deck since you like to take the view in from the night.

“Well, now our dear sibling over here has a room its a matter of competition for us” Atsumu states, and Osamu just sighs and looks at you with a tired expression.

“We’re gonna race two to see who gets the room they want, we let you get your room so that you can take down who gets which room.” Osamu gently explains. You nod and reach for the notebook inside your bag, it became a mannerism for you to bring your club notebook wherever you went with the boys… including this one.

The first pair were the twins, then Kita & Oomimi, Ojiro & Ginjima, Suna & Kosaku, and finally, Akiga & Riseki. Was it chaos? Of course, it was. The twins ended up getting the same room so you had to negotiate a war of rock, paper, and scissors and Atsumu being a baby per usual because his older twin got the room. Kita and Oomimi were by far the calmest since they chose different rooms. Ojiro and Ginjima took some time because they kept on going into the rooms that were taken by the other members and Ginjima getting disappointed the longer the search goes. Suna and Kosaku were kinda calm until they chose the same room as well but didn’t resort to the bickering the twins do. Akiga and Riseka also took some time since they were the last pair to choose a room.

After that, the twins acquainted the team with some rules to follow which were just 6:30 pm was the time of dinner and 12:30 was the time of lunch, and breakfast was optional. Because they are athletes it is a must that they attend the dinner and lunch. They also have to tell the group chat if they were unable to eat and it needs to be a legitimate reason. And there is a schedule for every room so that the maids don’t die of exhaustion. They also had a debate on having a bedtime and if midnight snacks were allowed. They ended up resorting to not having one and midnight snacks are available.

________ 8:00 am

After all, that chaos was settled with you decided to go to your room where you get to explore it in even more detail. But then the exhaustion of taming the boys took over you as your body uncontrollably falls to the white circular bed and you soon drift off to Dream Land.

_________ 10:00 am

Your eyes finally flutter open as you check to see what time it was with the watch on your arm. You quickly fix your hair, face, and the bed as you take in your new surroundings. You take notice of the wooden floor. The table had essential oils and a diffuser right next to it and bright lights around the mirror for makeup. The television was actually inside the wall and the washroom had a little window which can be covered with curtains and more bright lights for the mirrors, there were wall hooks for hangers or things needed to be hanged. One of which was a hanger for the bathrobe the yacht provided. It was a rather spacious room, so spacious that you’d think that you were in a hotel rather than a yacht.

“It’s big mainly because it’s considered the master’s bedroom” You look back to the door, which was where the voice came from. The voice came from Osamu who was leaning at the door frame. Behind him was the rest of the team with a small smile on their faces.

“We’re going to hang out by the lower deck, cause Idio- I mean, ‘Tsumu-kun challenged me to a Jet Ski race, wanna watch? Kita is gonna start grilling the steak you brought” Osamu continues. You nod and say you’ll just change clothes. You change into a white tube bikini which is covered by a white see-through tassel and head to the lower deck which is already starting to smell like grilled steak.

You see the boys quietly yet not so discreetly check you out which makes you bring a little bit of heat on your face. You take a seat at the white couch you take notice of their outfits. The twins, Ginjima, Riseki, and Oomimi were shirtless with some swim trunks. Kita was also shirtless but is wearing an apron cause he’s grilling some meat. Kosaku, Ojiro, Akagi, and Suna were wearing white tank tops with some swimming trunks.

You also observed that there was something similar to what the boys were wearing, sunglasses. Suna has his sunglasses tucked on the collar of his shirt, Ojiro has his tucked on the right pocket of his shorts. Kosaku’s and Osamu’s were resting on their head Akiga and Oomimi were wearing a chain where the glasses were hanging on. Ginjima, Riseki, and Atsumu were wearing their glasses. Kita’s were hanging at the loop of his apron at the back.

“Rules: No flipping of Jet Skis. Don’t hit each other or the yacht. No insane tricks that will get you injured and have fun. If one of the drivers falls off the Jet Ski, instant game over” Ojiro states and the twins listen to what he has to say.

“Five rounds around the yacht. First to park their Jet Ski and get off from it wins” Ojiro smiles with his eyes closed as the twins shake hands as a sign of camaraderie.

Ojiro opens his eyes with a serious face as he says the catch, “Winner gets to throw water balloons at the loser.” The boys show a look of shock and confusion cause as far as they know, they don’t have water balloons.

“What are ye talking about? We don’t have—” Atsumu starts but is caught off by Ginjima

“Y/N-chan brought some water balloons, would be a shame if we don’t use it… Right?” The wing spiker taunts the boys. They turn to you and all you can do is smile while having a chat with Oomimi and a sleepy Suna. All of a sudden the twins’ expressions turned from shocked to competitive, the face you’d see when they have an official match at volleyball.

“Oh you’re on,” Atsumu says to which his twin just shrugs

“Scared you’ll get wet?” Osamu says while arching his right eyebrow.

The startling roar of the Jet Skis causes you to jump a bit while the other boys remain unfazed, Ojiro, standing at the edge of the yacht, raises his arm “Ready,” The twins look at each other and turn back to the sea.

“Set,” By this time, the siblings are playing with the controls to make the Jet Skis roar louder but they’re still in the same displacement on the water.

“Go” Ojiro puts down his arm and the two twins are on their way. Suna— whose is essentially lying down on the bean bag beside you— pokes your left arm resting on the sofa’s armrest.

“10 water balloons, Osamu-chan wins” You smirk at the bid, why not eh? Nothing wrong with a little splash.

“Fine, 10 water balloons, Atsumu-chan wins” Suna smirks at your statement and looks at the sea.

“Stuff like this makes me sleepy” Suna yawns and it causes you to giggle.

“You’re always sleepy, Suna-chan”

“It makes me sleepy and at ease” Suna smiles, happy he’s made you laugh every once in a while.

Kosaku though it would be nice if the lower deck had some music so he played “Party Poison” by My Chemical Romance as he and Riseki start filling up the water balloons

________ 10:30 am

The twins are back but Atsumu won by a millisecond. You laugh out in rejoice as you saw your next victim of the water balloons. You were so overjoyed that the attention was on you. “Suna-chan and Y/N-chan over here decided to make a bet on who wins. Our sibling won cause they placed their bet on Atsumu-chan” Riseki explains to the twins.

“Don’t place such a huge bet on me Suna-chan” Osamu sighs in defeat while Atsumu was busy making fun of his older twin that lost.

The two stand on the metal part of the lower deck and were the jet skis were parked. Riseki starts to throw one water balloons and others follow pursuit. Well, let’s just say you may or may not didn’t count how many water balloons you guys were throwing at the pair. And Ginjima may or may not have filmed the whole event happening including the start of the race.

_________ 11:00 am

After assisting the two boys on what they need to change clothes. You hang out in the entertainment room where everyone was playing a match of Mario Kart while waiting for Kita finish making lunch. You wasted no time into putting this on camera since this was pure gold.

“No! That’s cheating you- AAAAAAAAA”

“SHUT UP YOU SQUEALING PIG”

“YES! I GOT I- OJIRO-KUN”

“AHAHAHHAHAHAH DIE YOU SORRY EXCUSES OF LOSERS”

_________ 12:30 pm

Lunch was served, it was steak with mashed potatoes and mango panna cotta for dessert. Although we ate in peace, there was still tension as to playing that last Mario Kart match. Kita, oblivious to the chaos a while ago, has zero idea to what even happened but feels a strong tension.

“Alright, what’s bothering you kids?”

“I swore you cheated on that last match” Riseki looks dead straight at Akagi who was happily enjoying his medium-rare steak. Cue Kita rubbing his forehead and being the epitome of ‘Ah shit, here we go again’

“I will not deny or accept that” You were informed by their coach about the rowdiness and loudness this group has but these boys always seem to have something to bicker about.

“I DONATED YOU A DAMN LIFE PACK IN LEFT FOR DEAD 2 AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?”

“We live in a capitalist world, my dear child,” Akagi smirks, knowing it’s gonna fume his kohai to the roof. ________ 1:30 pm

Yes, it took you an hour to calm down the two well, mostly Riseki who felt offended by the actions of his senpai. After so, you decided to have time for yourself at the sauna. You grab your wardrobe and your new clothes which were plain red sweatshirt and some cycling shorts and walk towards the said room. You go to the changing rooms which had a little locker aisle so that you can put your things in.

You take off the tassel that you were wearing and toss on the bathrobe. It was a little big for you but it will do. You head to the sauna in which you spent your time enjoying. It was a place that showed the scenery outside and therefore you get to marvel at the beauty of the islands at the same time it was playing calm piano music.

You took this time to look at the videos Ginjima sent you and your compilation of videos and photos to decide what to post exactly.

You ended up posting that stolen solo picks of the boys while they were busy doing things. Yes, you have a stolen photo of Suna that is a w a k e. You also post a picture of yourself with your back facing the camera and your arms spread out. The last photo you posted was a group photo with you and the boys taken in the dining room before the incident happened.

The boys, on the other hand, were putting the appreciation gifts they had brought for you to your room. Arranging it in the most aesthetic way they could on your bed. They tried not to make any noise as you can hear their footsteps due to the wooden floor. They quickly made their way to the viewing deck to inflate the slide to make an alibi to be there.

________ 4:30 pm

You head to the viewing deck wearing you a sweatshirt and cycling shorts only to know that the boys were sliding down the inflatable slide. Oomimi sees you and carries you bridal style to be next in line. You panic as to knowing your outfit.

“You guys, I’m not really—,” you start as Oomimi sets you down on the slide. Atsumu laughs at your response.

“Well, sorry, love~” was all the setter said till his members pushed you off the slide. It felt like going down from the highest point of the ride of the rollercoaster. You screamed your whole lungs out and you swore you died till you felt nothing beneath you. You were flying in the air for what seemed like a century till you were engulfed with water. Its comfort in surrounding you made you feel safe but you had to go to the surface. When you did you were smiling but then at the same time you felt as if you were betrayed by your siblings over there on the yacht as they were laughing their asses off. Suna who was stirring at that time, was also chuckling to himself after hearing your screams of death seconds ago.

The ones in the water, Kita and Ginjima helped you go to the yacht as they knew you were gonna murder the boys. The moment you climbed back on the boat. The maids handed you a towel to which you used to whip at the boys for revenge making them die of even more laughter from you.

________ 6:30 pm

You were still damp and a towel was hanging on both of your shoulders when your dinner is served and it was grilled lamb with some fried rice and crème brûlée as dessert. This was the time the boys noticed that you posted something on social media and gave out their comments of appreciation especially to your photo. They took into detail their photos and realized that they were stolen. This was the perfect opportunity for you to post the uhhh… not so good looking photos of them. But you were worried about the number of unpleasing photos they had of you so you decided to go against the idea. And luckily there was no world war happening since you already forgave them for their little stunt a while ago and they did have fun.

_________ 7:45 pm

You head back to your room to wash and get changed for the karaoke night the boys proposed. You open the door to see the wide arrange of gifts the boys had prepared just for you. You start to tear up from the effort the boys pulled just to show you their gratitude towards you. You took a picture and sent it to both the group chat and social media as a thank you post. A mess of a team they were, they were your mess and you loved every moment you had with them.

#inarizaki #inarizaki x reader #beach #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #osamu #atsumu #osamu miya #miya twins #kita shinsuke #aran ojiro #suna rintarou #suna rintaro #oomimi ren

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ill-skillsgard · 4 years ago

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Bred For Blood - Part 16 - Eye in the Sky

Title: Bred For Blood

Warning: 18+ - sex/mature language & themes/gun violence/substance abuse etc. *this part contains death, blood/injuries, drug use, mentions of sexual manipulation*

Characters: AU Axel Cluney, AU Ivar Lothbrok, AU Valter x OC

Description: A bright, young survivor meets an acid-gun slinging headhunter with a knack for melting faces and connections to a prodigal Utopia embedded in the heart of a deadly forest. Violence and passion incite a battle of fealty while betrayal nips at Zed’s heels.

Note: Over the months and months I’ve developed this story, a lot of it has changed. I’ve adhered to the same general storyline I originally came up with, but it’s taken on a different life. I’m realizing I fall under the “discovery writer” category more than ever. So, thank you for taking this fun journey with me as it unfolds! I appreciate all the comments and kind words <3 Let me know your thoughts as we travel toward the end of this funky little series I started forever ago.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

Axel gaped at his wounded palm. An uneven split forced his middle and ring finger apart at a nauseating angle. The longer he stared, the more his arms trembled from the sight of his bisected tendons. Blood cascaded down his arm in swaths, more blood than he had ever spilled, collecting in sandy globs. In his horror, he almost forgot about the man bemoaning his death several feet away. Axel tried clenching a fist, but blistering agony shot through his wrist and forearm, crackling along severed nerves and stiffening his stained fingers. Disotto had been right; he’d never use his trigger-finger again.

Acid boiled in Axel’s stomach, a mixture of anger and dread. He turned to Rex writhing on the ground, assessing his wound crusted with sand and coagulating plasma. The hunter keened over Rex’s worse condition. Again, the Zeronauts failed to kill him, though his vision grew cloudy. Axel found his knife and shifted his weight off the side of the Rover, toward the man whispering prayers through bubbles of blood. When Rex caught wind of Axel’s approach, the man cowered, shielding his face with his tarry hands.

“I’m only following orders,” the slashed man shouted. “Please! If you’re gonna kill me, just do it.”

“No, I won’t put you out of your misery. I want your death to be slow and painful. Like how you left Glott back there,” said Axel.

The hunter shimmied closer, flipping his knife in his right hand to carve off an unstained strip of Rex’s cotton jersey shirt. Rex quivered as Axel wrapped the cloth around his left hand tightly. The blue material blossomed with blood, turning a deathly shade of indigo in seconds. He went for another swath of the man’s clothing, ripping the sleeve off to fold over the hole in his hand. Axel glimpsed the open wound in Rex’s side, then looked up at his wild eyes, shifting around in their sockets like a dying animal searching for an escape.

“Tell me about this Dal guy you and your buddies were talking about. Is he your leader or something? He calls the shots?” Axel asked.

Rex spat a gob of blood, laughing as it rolled down his whiskered chin. “What do you think?”

Axel held the knife under Rex’s nose. “I think you’ll die with a few more nasty cuts on your body if you don’t tell me where I can find your leader. I’ll carve you like a turkey, my man.”

“That’s the thing about us... We don’t have leaders, just as the Unity intended. There are Brights, and there’s Uns, and it’s us against them. You kill one of us, and there’s a hundred more to take our place,” Rex claimed.

“No. It’s not you against them; It’s you against the planet. The Brights are the ones saving your sorry asses. You anarchists can’t seem to understand that we need them.”

Rex’s stone-grey eyes fluttered as he took in a trembling breath. “Why do you fucking care? The Unity wanted you dead, too.”

Axel looked down at his fake teardrop. If he hadn’t been fighting in the war, would they have considered him for immunization? It was a question Axel asked himself a thousand times, and the answer was always negative. He should have died in the storms, but he hadn’t. The spores didn’t reach the ocean, and therefore, never had the chance to infect him or the small crew of abandoned soldiers sailing home.

Axel grimaced at his stained forearm. “That doesn’t mean I want to kill every brightblood I find.”

“No. But you’ll use them to protect yourself. Just like we do,” Rex said with a sticky smile.

“Fuck you. Your little band of outlaws is exactly the people they tried to eradicate. People who only see others as slaves.”

“The Brightlings you care so much about are bred for blood. Blood that we need to survive—that you need to survive. The Unity branded them like cattle for easy picking.”

Axel rose to his knees, wincing from the slash above his ankle. “That’s the thinking that’s getting you and all your merry men killed. Rapists, slave-drivers, murderers... There's no room for you on this planet.”

“What does that make you, Mister Zee?”

“Yeah, I’m a killer. And I’ll die a killer if it means getting rid of scum like you,” Axel said, spitting on Rex’s dirtied face.

A low chuckle rumbled in Rex’s esophagus, tapering off as he shut his eyes, limbs turning limp where he lay sprawled over the sand.

Axel sat for a moment to catch his breath, then crawled from body to body, checking their pockets and patting down stiff torsos for anything useful. He found a few rounds of ammunition, a half-full pack of cigarettes, a glass pipe with a burnt and bulbous end, another butane lighter, a folded piece of paper bearing his likeness and several uncut rubies. He tossed the crack pipe and kept the rest, stuffing it all into his pockets with his left arm pressed to his side.

A dry wind swept in from the South, the direction he needed to go if he could only haul himself to a stand. He sat slumped over, unlacing his boot to get a better look at his wounded ankle. The cut was deep and gushing still. He bandaged his ankle in the same way he had his hand—with the jersey cotton stripped from Rex’s shirt. After winding the dressing around his foot, it was too bulky to stuff back into his boot, so he left it behind as he crawled toward the duffle bag of papers from Glott’s lab. He emptied his pockets into the bag, then grabbed his rifle. A grisly piece of meat from the other Zeronaut’s face still clung to the butt where Axel had cracked his mouth apart. Though he couldn’t shoot acid, the weapon doubled as a club if he encountered more bounty hunters.

Stretching his right arm behind his back, he found the mushrooms he’d tucked in his pocket. In the bright afternoon light, the brown fibres glistened, white spots speckling the meaty caps atop long, feathery stems. Axel licked his lips but refrained from ingesting the mysterious fungus he found growing inside Glott’s supply closet. The last thing he needed was to poison himself. He was already sure he would die in the desert, if not from blood-loss, then from dehydration. The mushrooms were a last resort. He pocketed them again.

Axel assessed his itinerary. Although he’d sustained severe mutilation and a punctured ankle, he came away with another gun, more cigarettes and a few hundred thousand dollars' worth of stones. Axel saw no use for the rubies, but some people still valued objects more than human blood, so he kept them. It seemed unlikely he’d cross anyone who only wanted to trade, but the stones gave him a sense of comfort in case he happened upon a post.

If he was to consider what Rex said about a hundred more Zeronauts taking his place, Axel had to assume everyone was now an enemy. How many Zeronauts were there? Had they recruited more survivors, swelling their ranks while he pissed away his time in Kinderfeld? He shook his head and wobbled from dizziness. There was no more time for contemplation. Axel had to remain present.

On foot, getting back to the domes would take days, but with two of his limbs decommissioned, it would take much longer. He took all he could carry from the Rover and packed it into the duffle bag, including his last inches of water and two mystery packs of army rations. Axel scanned the horizon, took a step and cried out from the bolt of pain in his leg. Limping without a crutch was impossible, so he lowered to his knees and crawled in the direction from which his three assailants had come. They must have had a camp or a vehicle he could raid somewhere.

In the desert heat, with the duffle bag more cumbersome than ever, Axel’s lag proved difficult. Pain blazed through his leg with every bend of his knee, and his elbows supported his entire weight plus the full bag pressing on his back. He army-crawled through the sand, stopping every few shuffles to rest.

Axel made it over a steep dune before the dryness entered his lungs and sucked the moisture from his mouth. He paused for a gulp of water and grieved over how little he had left.

When he found no traces of Zeronaut vehicles, he looked back and considered returning to the Rover. Even on deflated wheels, he might get farther than what his aching body could manage.

Turning back was suicidal. Axel couldn’t waste another hour retracing the trail he left behind. It was onward or nothing.

Exhaustion tugged at his eyelids after long. The agony of using his arms to pull himself along depleted what little energy he had. Axel retired his injured appendage and used his right arm and leg to shift himself over hills and rough patches of stone.

His muscles stretched and burned as the sun beat down on his skin. The strain on his body caught up with him quickly, and he had to rest before he passed out from weariness. Axel shifted the duffle bag over his head to shield from the sun, took another sip of water and laid in the dust with his eyes closed. Every few minutes, he snapped awake, unable to doze for more than a few minutes before panic shook him.

As the sun set, Axel ripped open a foil bag and devoured the tomatoes, slimy noodles, and bits of chewy sausage swimming inside. Any other day, Axel might complain about the meal, but in his weakened haze, it tasted better than anything he’d ever eaten. Washing down the food with his last bit of water, he tossed the package and crawled several yards before a dull pain in the back of his head dizzied him again.

Frequent breaks frustrated Axel, and the emerging fog disoriented his sense of direction. Soon the night took over, and Axel shivered from the icy touch on his inflamed skin. He was burnt and filthy, head pounding while his ankle and hand throbbed without end. Though he’d eaten and drank the last remnant of water he had, a persistent thirst scratched in his throat.

“Fuck, I’m gonna die,” Axel croaked. “This will be your fucking grave, Cluney. You’re done.”

When he imagined dying with the duffle bag full of invaluable information, Axel’s heart clattered in his chest. That discovery in the hands of those who wished slavery upon the brightbloods would be disastrous. If he couldn’t make it back to Kinderfeld, he had to make sure the secret died with him. Nobody would get their hands on Zed because of his negligence, he vowed.

He scaled the sands until his body gave out. Muscles screaming in pain, Axel rolled onto his back and looked up at the night sky through a thin veil of fog.

“I’m sorry, Lea. I’m a fucking failure. Valter... Fuck. I should have been there for you. I’m such a fuck-up. Such a selfish, stupid fuck-up.”

Axel closed his eyes and let the darkness take him under.

When the sun peeked over the hills, Axel awoke, spitting dirt from his mouth as he coughed and winced from the agony living in every atom of his body. He couldn’t believe he was still alive to see another powder blue sky. However, his shoulders had seized from over-exertion, and the only movement he made was the desperate intake of air. Anguish pinned him to the ground until he summoned the strength to unzip the duffle bag and rummage around, one-armed, for a cigarette and lighter.

Axel smoked while sprawled in the sand, watching puffy clouds sail overhead. There was only an hour of mild temperature before the sun climbed higher and burned away the moisture left from the misty night.

“Why am I not dead?” Axel asked himself.

A strong wind swept sheets of dust over his latent form, blinding him until his eyes watered. If he stayed where he was, by noon, he’d be half-buried. But he could barely move to stop this from happening. He saved his energy for rolling onto his stomach to fish the mushrooms from his pocket. It took half an hour to accomplish this, and by the time he had hold of the speckled caps, he did not argue against consuming them.

He gnashed the sponge and grainy strands to a pulp, swallowed, and hoped for the best. The woody flavour reminded him of old times taking dried psilocybin mushrooms as a teenager. What effects Glott’s fungi produced remained a mystery.

Axel sighed and tried not to think about Lea and Vee. He closed his eyes, picturing simpler times and places that brought him joy until he realized there were few scraps of memory that provided him with any relief. He had left home at a young age as his parents acknowledged his brother’s accelerated development and put their focus into nurturing his intelligence instead of disciplining a boy who laughed in the face of authority. While Axel set off to take drugs and contract sexually transmitted infections that required horse pills and multiple shots in the ass to cure, his family grew tighter without him. Vee grew into a man. Then came the army and quest for structure. But there was no structure in the military either. There were routines and discipline, but no sense of permanence. It only threw him into further chaos, showing him real horrors that made his small-time forays in local crime seem like a joke.

He remembered the boat ride home, the piercing silence of a desolate group of men who’d been long abandoned, forgotten by their superiors and the world. They were throwaways, disregarded by the country who first outfitted and weaponized them. Ivar was his only anchor to life without torment, and even he had changed from the war.

The only memory that didn’t haunt him was the recent times he’d spent with Azalea. She didn’t judge him harshly—only when he deserved it—for she didn’t understand the gravity of his past transgressions. Axel would give anything to be back in their conjoined apartment, drinking acidic wine with Vee, playing board games like they were kids again.

Behind his heavy lids, Axel saw the sun break without opening his eyes. A sliver of white light grew into a crescent, a half-moon, an eyeball with no iris. It blinked, staring at his feeble body with judgment.

What are you doing lying in the sand?

“I’m dying,” Axel answered the ominous voice overhead.

So soon?

“Maybe not soon enough,” said Axel.

How boring. Zeitgeist, the famous headhunter, reduced to dirt.

“It’s been a long time coming.”

The glowing orb sighed, giving off radiation Axel could feel. A red aura, wriggling like a crown of worms, throwing off golden hailstones that burst into a fine mist.

“When I was in the Middle East, I got the feeling I’d die like this. Maybe I’m some kind of low-level prophet.”

Predicting one’s own death is hardly a show of prophecy. You’ve spent your life doing things no regular person should survive. This death... This is a lifetime of poor decisions catching up with you.

“Am I talking to myself, or am I tripping?”

Perhaps a little of both.

“Hm... At least I’ll die high out of my mind. These scientists sure make great psychedelics.”

Axel opened his eyes and gasped at the sprawling panorama of white dollops convulsing over a roiling screen of blue. The clouds came closer, and he drew a breath in through his nose, tasting the thick air as he rose his good hand to the amoebic spectacle before him. The wind curled through, skewing the shapes into fresh forms, erasing and reforming them with every gust: flowers, sailboats, insects and gaping faces.

“Wow. That’s crazy,” Axel whispered, smirking.

The sand softened and welcomed his battered limbs into a cradle of warmth. A blissful smile unfurled on his face as the clouds continued their spastic dance across the never-ending sky, showing him dreamy visions of abstract figures.

“I wish I was home. I never took Lea out to ride dirt bikes.”

Then go home, Axel. Go back to your family. Tell them what you know. Be the hero, not just the man with the best gun and biggest balls.

“But I can’t move!” Axel whined.

The ground buzzed underneath him as though each grain sprouted legs to carry him through the desolation. Millions of tiny ants worked together to haul his body across the desert as if they understood the importance of his return to Kinderfeld. He longed to scratch the itch at his back, but his arms were leaden.

“What happens if I die and they never find out about Lea?”

Then you die, and they die not long after.

“No. Don’t say that.”

You’re the one saying it.

A sinking sensation opened in Axel’s chest as his nerves responded to the numbing effect of the mushrooms. Soon, Axel was floating on a cloud, the ants falling away as his pupils expanded, and his brain’s chemistry changed.

Take her to the Maw. That’s what Glott said. Get up and go home.

“She hates me.”

She trusts you.

“I’ll die before I get there. It’s pointless.”

If there’s no point, you might as well keep crawling.

“But I’m so comfortable. Is this what dying really feels like?”

I guess you’ll find out soon enough.

Axel sighed. “Maybe it’s not so bad... Dying.”

Sure, you can die on a cloud, smiling like an idiot, while your enemies are out there looking for a way into your home to kill your brother and rape the woman you promised to protect. Or you can keep crawling.

“Y’know, for the sun, you have a dark sense of humour.”

Better get going before someone else finds you and gets their hands on those papers.

Muddled and rash from the whiplash of the mind, Axel reached back into the duffle bag, feeling around for the hand-written documents. When his fingers skated over a smooth sheet, he crumpled it and brought the loose wad to his mouth. Axel stuffed the paper between his teeth and chewed.

Through a mouthful of paper and ink, Axel giggled and reached for another sheet but found his lighter instead.

He burned the rest, chuckling as tears poured down the sides of his head.

~*~

Zed watched Ivar’s chest expand and retract while they laid together in a nest of damp sheets. Silent, she bit down on her lip as the king turned to her, an elated smile revealing all of his teeth.

“Wow,” he whispered. “That was... Wow.”

Zed flushed from the silly look he gave her. “Stop it.”

“Lea...”

“Ivar?”

The King turned on his side and pulled her close, tucking his face under her jaw. She embraced him while staring up at the billowing ceiling. She wondered what the Chrysalis looked like stripped of all its livery. Was it still as beautiful without the ornate clothing? She shook her head and fluttered her eyes, pushing away irrelevant thoughts.

“Can I be honest with you?” Ivar asked.

“I hope so,” Zed whispered, shuffling her nose into his rose-scented hair.

“I’ve had a lot of—I mean, I’m no prude, but that was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Oh, be quiet,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Ivar drew back to peer into her in the eyes, his playful smile replaced with palpable seriousness. “I’m telling you the truth. Your body... It’s like you were made for me. You're so beautiful, I want to drape you over me forever and wear you like ear-muffs.”

“What would you know about ear-muffs, oh king of the desert?”

“Plenty.” Ivar’s smile returned. “I hale from the North. They don’t call me Viking for nothing.”

“Right,” she said.

Ivar put a little more distance between them, sensing her discomfort.

“What’s the matter? You’re okay with what happened, right?”

Zed snapped a smile over her lips. “Yes! I don’t know how many times you asked for my permission. It was only a matter of time before we...”

“Made love?”

The thermal rush of nerves returned to her cheeks. “Yes. Made love.”

“I don’t want you to regret it because I don’t. The moment you walked into this place, I swore off all other women. I only wanted you in my life. And I’m glad you pulled off whatever mischievous thing you had to get in here. Waking up to your face was heavenly.”

Zed welcomed him back into her arms. He laid his head on her chest. "I’m glad you’re not mad at me," she said. "I worried you’d send me away. But it was worth the risk."

Ivar stroked her bare skin, sighing. “It’s only for our protection.”

“But they can’t get in here. Not unless we allow them.”

Ivar stared across the room at the curtained entrance. “I don’t know anymore, Lea.”

“What do you mean?” She whispered.

“There are many hostiles out there now. More than I ever predicted.”

“How do you know this?”

“I've seen them.”

Zed’s heart plummeted, skipping a beat as a wave of dread squeezed her throat. Ivar rolled onto his back, ready to admit things to her he had told no one. Not even Axel.

“Do you remember that night I cancelled on you?”

“Yes, we were supposed to have dinner.”

I had dinner with Axel instead.

“It wasn’t because dwellers were looking for trade and shelter. It was a group of scavs looking for Zee.”

“The Zeronauts?” Zed gasped.

Ivar nodded grimly. “There’s a bounty on him—a big one. They came looking for Zee, threatening to blow up the compound if I didn’t turn him over. I said he wasn’t inside, that he’d left a while ago. At first, they didn’t believe me, but I guess I must have convinced them.”

Zed sat up in bed, clutching the sheet to her bare chest. “What did you do?”

“I suppose my acting skills paid off. They wanted to take me up on my word, search around the village, but I refused. By then, they realized the firepower we had and backed off. I didn’t expect them to return so soon.”

“But... Axel went out there. What if they found him? What if he’s dead?”

Ivar closed his eyes before tears emerged. “I know. But what can I do? He made his own choice. He didn’t want to stay, and to be honest, Lea, I didn’t want him here either. Not after what that filthy scav said.”

Zed’s nerves flared. “Now you listen to me. What Monk said was not true! I did not have sex with Axel in that camp. And if you refuse to believe me, then... Maybe I will end up regretting what we did.”

“It’s so hard to buy that, Lea,” Ivar said.

“Why? You don’t trust me?”

He gave a discourteous snicker and rolled his eyes. “Because I know Zee. A lot better than you do.”

“You’d take the word of a total stranger over mine?”

“I wanted to reject what the scav said. But he said something that struck me. Something I couldn’t discount.”

Zed glared at him. “And what’s that?”

He scoffed, unable to produce the words until he weighed the insult on Zed’s face.

“Wanna go boing-boing on Daddy’s dick?” Ivar mocked.

The heat fizzled from her face like a hot iron in cold water. Ivar shot her a knowing glance and nodded. “See? That look tells me everything. I’ve known Zee for years. We’ve shared enough that I know all his cheeky little lines.”

“We didn’t have sex! Yes, he pretended I was his slave to protect me. We didn’t know what we were walking into. He said it was a commune, but when we arrived, the Zeronauts had already taken over. They had a dozen guns pointed at us. It scared us, Ivar. You need to trust me. If you have feelings for me, you should believe when I say I never touched Axel like that.”

“What about the night you bugged out and leapt into his arms?”

Zed lowered her voice as her heart shuddered. “He was my only friend. You and I had just met, and the stories about you... I wasn’t ready. I spent a year in the desert by myself. I’d never done drugs, never met anyone like you guys. He helped me.”

“I want to believe you, Lea.”

“Then believe me!” Her voice rang through the room. “No one ever believes me! Not you, not them, not my friends when I was taken advantage of.”

Ivar cocked his head. “What are you talking about?”

Tears flowed over Zed’s cheeks as ghosts of her past breathed vexing reminders in her ear. What she read in Axel’s journal unearthed the memory she hated most and forced her to relive it in tainted colour. Now Ivar’s incredulity brought back the sting of betrayal she wished to forget.

“The first person I ever had sex with used me as a joke! He pretended to love me, and after I gave myself to him, he told everyone disgusting lies. He conned me out of my virginity. Someone who vowed I could trust him; that would protect me and make sure I was happy. I was nothing but a conquest. Bragging rights. And the worst part is... While I was being lied to, while he took my innocence, you and Axel were overseas fucking strippers! You behaved the same way that pig did! Then I finally trusted again—after you and Axel promised to keep me safe—and both of you fucked me over! Why do men only believe each other? Does what I say hold such little meaning to you?”

Ivar’s face froze.

“You are the only other person I have ever let inside me, and you’re making me regret it just like he did,” Zed cried.

“Lea—”

“Why would I lie to you? Why would Axel lie to you? He loves you like a brother, and I’ve seen how much he values his family.”

The king took her in his arms, and she rested her damp forehead on his shoulder.

“How do you know about that stuff?”

“I read Axel’s journals from the army. Vee gave them to me. He thought they might help me stop missing him.”

“Listen, I don’t know what you read in those journals, but I promise you, I’m not that man anymore, Lea. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you to him. Everyone loves Zee. Any girl I liked always wanted him because he’s famous. Handsome. Funny. My jealousy got in the way.”

“You’re all those things too, Ivar. Everyone here loves you. They made you a king, for Christ’s sake!”

“Only because Zee didn’t want to lead. But I get it, and I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I should have trusted you. Both of you.”

Lea sniffled, blinking against the remnants of tears, and hugged Ivar close. “We wouldn’t lie to you, Ivar.”

He smoothed his fingers down her spine, nuzzling into her braided hair and the closeness he’d almost chased away.

A quiet moment passed before Zed spoke up. “We have to search for him.”

Ivar shook his head. “No. We’re not leaving. Nobody is. Not while those scavengers are prowling. It’s too dangerous.”

“Ivar—”

“I’m serious, Lea. Nobody leaves. Zee can take care of himself.”

“It’s more than finding Axel. Everyone is scared, Ivar. We need medical equipment, doctors, something. People are dying here, too. Not just out there.”

A stubborn line appeared between Ivar’s brows. “We can hold out for a while. Supplies will come to us. There will be more dwellers at our door. We can start a trade with people who already know the outside. It’s too dangerous to send anyone, and we need all the men we can get to protect the village.”

Zed wanted to grab Ivar by the shoulders and shake and scream in his face, but they were both still too raw from the revelations they’d shared. She had to make calculated moves, one of them recognizing when to hold back. Ivar was bullheaded, but she had chipped away a layer of his mistrust. If she could convince Ivar to value her word as much as Axel’s, there was a chance of progress. Zed knew sleeping with him wouldn’t throw open the gates, but she made a bit of headway, and that was enough to settle her stomach for now.

"Fine. You're right. We should stay here and wait," Zed conceded.

The couple spent the rest of the morning tangled in the sheets. Zed did not suggest an excursion beyond the walls again, but maintained her resolve when Ivar let his feelings gush forth. He claimed to love her, but Zed suspected the king viewed his world through a romantic veil. Ivar couldn’t be in love. He didn’t know her well enough. But she let him revel in his fantasy.

She wondered if she was capable of love. With her trust in others injured and the state of the world in ruins, love seemed a burdensome child, hanging onto the ankles of a society struggling to recover. Fine to dabble in, like drink and drugs, but not a motto for advancement.

News of Axel’s bounty shocked her to the core. While Ivar pulsated between her legs, whispering words of praise and adoration against her neck, Zed stared at a distant spot on the wall, numb, hoping beyond hope her friend was still alive.

After breakfast, Ivar relinquished his grip on her, and she made her way to the lab to find Vee.

Zed entered the facility and found the gurneys empty. Confused, she searched the rest of the lab, turning up nothing, then made her way to Vee’s apartment. She rapped on the door, but nobody answered. She knocked harder, waited, then sighed and turned down the hall. The locked door to the incubation room opened, and Vee stepped out, looking surprised and relieved to see her.

“Lea! Finally. I was worrying.”

Zed noticed the whites of his eyes veined with red, the ditches beneath them dark and heavy. Light blond stubble lined his jaw and upper lip. It looked like he hadn’t slept since their last conversation.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

He shook his head, unsure of where to begin listing off the things that had gone wrong through the night.

“It’s a long, long story. And I’m starving. Do you have time to sit down?” He asked.

“Yes, of course,” Zed replied, worry rushing her tone.

Vee led the way to his apartment and held the door open for her. She took a seat on the sofa and waited for the scientist to return with a plate of dry-fried zucchini cakes. The scent wafted toward her, making her stomach growl.

“So, our patient died of his kidney failure last night. He never woke up,” Vee said before taking a bite of a cake. “I wish we had hot sauce in this place. Or salt.”

“What? Are you serious?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “We expected it. He knew it; we saw it coming. There was nothing we could do.”

Zed stared at Vee, awe-struck by his nonchalance. “What about Serena?”

“That I’m not sure. I think Sheraya took her back to the Hives to be alone.”

“What did you do with the body?” Zed asked.

“I didn’t do a thing. I was too busy dealing with the incubators we lost,” Vee supplied. “Lora had the guards remove him. She spent all night sterilizing the lab while I cleaned up after the lost specimens.”

She gasped. "What does this mean?"

"The experiments are gone—failed."

The sleep-deprived man finished a portion of his meal and offered the rest to Zed, who held her hand up in refusal.

“My work is truly lost, and the guards had to bury six children and one adult last night.”

“I don’t understand,” Zed shook her head. “How did the incubators fail?”

“Well, it’s not that they failed per se, rather we failed them. We don’t have the emulsions left to simulate amniotic fluid. Like I’ve been saying for weeks: our supplies are bone-dry. The people who built this place did not supply it with enough to bring a fetus to term, or they banked on traditional implantation, and I, for one, have no idea how to accomplish that. I studied advanced chemistry, not how to create humans from scratch. As much as I’d like to play God, I’m just a fucking scientist making do with what I have—which is nothing.”

Tragedy after tragedy, woe after woe, Zed buckled and fell against Vee, shaking and scrabbling for comfort. He set his half-empty plate aside to hold her close. The misfortune already had its chance to wrack his body, hence the dark blue crescents masking his eyes. By then, Vee was almost catatonic. The dread of telling Zed the news was part of the reason he hadn’t slept.

“I tested them though... The specimens. The mutation carries.”

Zed rolled her face on his shoulder, sopping the tears from her eyes as she pulled back with a sniffle.

“Really?”

“Yes. So, that’s some good news, right?” Vee said, lightening his expression for her comfort.

She nodded weakly. “What about the mixed-bloods?”

“One carried and one did not. Mine carried too,” he said with a lopsided smile.

Despite a positive report, Zed still couldn’t find it in herself to smile back.

“Vee, I’m so sorry about all of this. I wish there were something I could do, but I’m afraid my efforts last night yielded no results. Ivar is dead set on keeping the gates closed. And... He told me something else. Something terrible,” Zed said, picking at a cuticle as she avoided her friend’s stare.

“What now?”

“He said there’s a huge bounty out on Axel. He knew about it this whole time, and he just let him walk right into a trap.”

Vee leaned back, a flat expression on his face. He swallowed and closed his eyes, tilting his head back to rest on the sofa.

“Of course there’s a bounty on him,” he sighed.

Zed continued picking at a hangnail. There was nothing of comfort she could offer, so she shifted closer to Vee and laid her head against his shoulder. Vee brought his arm around her and rested his head on hers. They stayed that way for a while, unsure of how to progress. In all the bleakness of recent times, Zed was thankful to have someone who understood the gravity of their worsening situation. Vee was the only person buoying her above the most profound depression she’d felt since losing herself in the desert.

Despite the barbed strikes against them, Zed couldn’t hold back another sombre dirge. Every shred of hope slipped from her grasp. She wanted her mother and father—someone to hear and share her sorrows and offer her guidance.

“He’s going to die out there, isn’t he?” Zed asked.

Vee squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t know, Lea. That might not be comforting, but it’s the truth. Who knows what will happen now?”

“And sleeping with Ivar got me nowhere. I feel so foolish,” she whispered, voice cracking. “I was stupid to think I could change anything.”

Though she couldn’t see it, Vee frowned. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have allowed that to happen. You shouldn’t have had to resort to doing something you were uncomfortable with.”

“It was fine... Ivar was more than courteous. But I don’t think I love him. Maybe before all this, I could have, but now... He won’t open his eyes. He sees what he wants to see,” she said.

“Power can do that to men. They're blind to their surroundings. But I don’t want you thinking for that any of this is your fault or that you should have done more. You’ve done what you can. We all have. There’s nothing left to do but wait. Wait for life... Or death. It’s all the same.

“Please, I need you to at least pretend to be hopeful. I’m on the verge of a breakdown. You can’t go down with me.”

As the pair sat propped against each other, sighing and fretting in silence, the door swung open quietly, and a pair of bespectacled eyes peered into the apartment.

The thrum of Vee’s heartbeat lulled Zed’s weariness, and she placed her hand on the scientist’s chest. Locked in their embrace, Vee kissed the top of her head and rubbed her shoulder.

“If there’s one thing that’s brightened my horizons these last couple of months, it’s you, Lea. I’m glad Axel brought you here. It might have been the one moral decision he’s ever made,” Vee told her.

She lifted her head and nuzzled into his shoulder, smelling the remnants of cleaning solution clinging to the fabric of his shirt. “You’re so sweet, Valter. Even though I feel positively useless—”

“You are positively useless!” A voice cried out.

They snapped glances at the door, startled, and saw Lora standing there with her fists tight at her sides, shoulders hunched to her ears.

“Are you cheating on me with this brainless twit?” Lora continued.

Vee unhanded Zed and stood up, a stony expression wiping the calmness from his face. “What the hell are you doing in here, Lora?”

“I came to tell you I finished organizing all your files, but it looks like you’re too busy with the village bicycle to care!”

“First thing’s first, Lora, you and I are not together. And even if we were, Zed’s my friend, and I don’t appreciate you insulting her! This is my goddamn apartment. You can’t walk in here whenever you please!”

“Why? Because I’ll catch you sleeping with her?”

A fiery ball burst in Zed’s gut, igniting the anger that had been accumulating little by little until it shot up her throat. “What the hell is your problem, Lora? Ever since I got here, you’ve done nothing but spurn me! What did I ever do to you?”

“Are you stupid? Everyone here knows you’ve been sleeping with any man you can get your hands on. You’ve earned nothing, yet everyone treats you like you’re some kind of deity. You promised to help in the lab, but all you did was cause a rift and chase away the only person bringing in supplies. Now we’re screwed, and it’s all your fault!”

“Lora, stop!” Vee demanded.

“No! Someone has to say it! I’m tired of everyone giving her credit when I’ve done the grunt work and get zero thanks. You’re probably not even a real scientist!”

“Enough!”

Lora turned to Vee, malice puckering her lips. “I knew it’d only be a matter of time before she infected you, too. All you men are the same. An easy lay comes by, and you forget everything.”

“You’ve got a lot of shit to say for a lab assistant,” Zed hit back.

The ball of heat in her stomach threw off flares, awakening a fit of familiar anger that stiffened her muscles and set her jaw. When she stepped forward, Lora took a step back, and a heady rush of adrenaline caused her heart to pound and lips to curl into a sly smile. It was the same aggression she’d felt when the poachers attacked her in the desert, and while killing off Zeronauts after they’d forced her to strip at gunpoint. The sensation lent her fervency. She didn’t understand why the hostility fuelled her, but she embraced the burn, let it guide her actions.

“I’ve killed men three times your size. I suggest—if you like your bones intact—you shut your mouth and go back to doing what you do best: staying quiet and minding your own fucking business.”

Both Vee and Lora drew back from the heat of Zed’s threat. Scowling, Lora backed into the hallway, then turned and started away. When her footsteps faded down the hall, Vee went to Zed and placed his hand on her shoulder. She jumped from the sudden contact, then relaxed.

“Jesus, Zed,” he scoffed. “I know she deserved it but that was harsh.”

She stared up at him, eyes wide with remorse. “I’m not sure where that came from. I’m so tired of the accusations. Everyone thinks they know me, but they don’t!”

“It’s okay,” Vee said. “I know you. And you know you. Who cares what anyone else says? Lora’s been jealous of you since the second you walked through the lab doors. She sees every other female as a threat. Her ego is fragile.”

“Seems everyone's ego is paper-thin,” Zed muttered.

“Don’t worry about her, Zed. It’s done.”

Zed looked out into the empty hallway. Something told her the tension was only just taking form. There was a change in the air, a bitterness that permeated the domes, and she shivered, wondering what new troubles might fashion themselves in the coming days.

~*~

“Son... You alive, sonny?”

A man looked down at four sunburnt limbs—two of which crudely bandaged—jutting out from beneath a half-open duffle bag. Expecting to find a corpse under the heavy canvas, he kicked it aside and found the person alive, although for how long that life had left was a cause for concern. Though the person remained unresponsive, his blacked-out eyes roamed the sky, wide as sand dollars.

His camel sputtered as if to debate their investigative stop. He turned toward the animal, shrugged, then looked back at the gangly form upon which they stumbled.

The man aired out the flaps of his stained coat, making himself presentable as best he could.

“Can you hear me, son?”

Green-rimmed pupils dithered as a faint noise squeaked from his throat. The man in the long, thin coat retrieved a skin of water from the pack on his camel, then squatted next to the barely conscious person and poured a small measure of water between his dry, cracked lips. He swallowed, and the man in the coat smiled.

“Atta boy.”

He spied the teardrop scar on the man’s forearm, squinting at the mark to analyze its edges. It was a fake. Not unusual in these parts, but interesting to come across.

“Up for some more water?”

Another small sound drew his ear closer—something between a whimper and a syllable.

“Ma... Ma.”

“Ma? Speak up, son.”

“Muh.”

The man in the sand-stained coat tapped his chin. “Not to worry, sonny. The good doctor is in! Say, how about we take a look at that hand there? See what we’re working with?”

“M-ma.”

“Plenty of time to look for your mama after we patch you up.”

The camel snorted and received a mildly threatening look from its owner.

“Enough out of you, Rudie. I’m the one with the oats, and I say we give this fellow a hand. You have nowhere to be anyhow, so cool it, you oversized donkey. Now, let’s get you up. Ol’ Rudie here will be your chariot, good sir. Assuming you don’t intend to use that rather vicious-looking gun on us when you come-to. But, judging by your state, I don’t think you’ll be doing much of anything for a while. You’re lucky we found you, son. Mighty lucky.”

@dreamtherapy @reinamysterio @skarswhat @mightbelindsey @sexual-rendezvous-blog @billskarsgardx @michaeliskindahot @tigers-pat @rainbowmoosie @tinygayfungi @pancake-blonde @bskarsgardlove92 @sarah2057 @ohcaptains @loveforbillskasgard @vikingsmania @billdreamy69 @lordeofther1ngs @theredheadsbookcorner @1-800-imagines @readsalot73 @nicolehoran-maybe @weirdlilwitch @enchantedreadersworld @allkundsofwrong @loey-bae @bill-istvan @army-crawl-andersen @sunshineandskarsgards @beyond-the-ashes @whoplansthese @evaolii @frappylou @alylanaeblack @billullabies @bohemianfortunes @moondustmemories @terry2227 @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @alltimesamantha @amelia-in-w0nderland @thestonerosas @skrsgvrd @sorryimviolet @tweakersqueaker @inforapound @eff1ngqueen @skrsgrd-my-boi @rekdreams-fandom @b-afterhours @anastasiaskarsgard @ainatirb-j @voodoo-queen @quiche-pocket @awkward-haux @thorins-queen-of-erebor @originalclodmakergarden @skrsgardspam @tumblingdwntherabbithole @xbuckxnastyx @skadithegoddess @whiskeyxinxaxteacup @calumculia0 @bethskarsgard @ohhoneyaaaaaaa @ziamhathrisen @tgrrose @didiintheblog @bitchwelcometoparadise @maggiescarborough @anacerta @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol @spitch0 @grandpa-sweaters @mamaloser1 @mycrimsonsparrow

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#axel cluney fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgard imagine #AU fanfiction #bill skarsgard

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sarunohadaki · 3 years ago

Text

DQXI/The Last of Us Part II Crossover

Crossover week: Home | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Enter a fic idea that started because I was thinking of luminerik in a zombie apocalypse when I realized there was already a game I could plop them into! I really enjoyed The Last of Us and, to a greater extent, TLOU Part II, although to be fair I only watched playthroughs of them.

They’re action-packed and emotionally driven, especially the sequel.

More under the cut for another longer post. Content warnings for depictions of violence, death, zombies, that sort of thing. Spoilers for The Last of Us 1 and 2, some DQXI canon parallels, and a potential future Saru fic (though doubtful).

Rating: M. For sure M.

Pairings: luminerik. Some friendships I haven’t figured out yet. Is it possible to throw in a slowburn and have this be an action/adventure fic? Who knows.

Premise: Eleven is Ellie in this, nice and simple. He’s the child who is immune to the Cordyceps virus that rapidly infects a shit ton of the human population and leads him to go on a whole adventure at the tender age of 13 or so.

However, this fic would take a lot from the events of TLOU II, when El is older. I have no idea what the main theme of this fic would be. In TLOU II, it was revenge.

About revenge…

Ellie’s father figure is murdered in front of her, the same man who took away her chance to help the world by him saving her from her self-sacrifice at the end of TLOU. Ellie felt like her life didn’t matter anymore because Joel took her life’s purpose away from her, but she was going to try to forgive him. Before Ellie could do that, Joel was murdered. Held down and beaten to death with a golf club while Ellie was forced to watch.

Ellie must have felt guilty about that— for holding her grudge over an aging man’s head for so long, a man who wanted her to live and be happy. And that just makes her angrier after witnessing his death.

The Eleven I know would never resort to murder, and he doesn’t have the same harshness to his character as Ellie did in TLOU. However, given the right circumstances, anyone can probably break. I just don’t know that I can replicate the same emotions and motives Ellie had behind her actions, or the relationship she held for Joel. There’s nobody like Joel in DQXI as far as I can throw it.

So, yeah! I’ve seen mention before of AUs where Jasper or Hendrik are Eleven’s father figures, and I could see that as more likely than Chalky or Rab slotting in for Joel in this. But also, Jasper, Hendrik, etc., would slot in very well as replacing Abby.

A bit of plot

The fic begins with Erik and Mia foraging for firewood in a snowy forest. They’ve been traveling for years with a posse of older men who keep them around as lackeys and possible zombie bait. You know, because people are horrible. The posse had picked up Erik and Mia when they were barely teens; that’s when the infection had started and the siblings hadn’t had much choice in whether they were going to go with the men or not, considering the alternative was likely death.

Anyway, when Erik and Mia return to camp, they find they have a new visitor! It’s a boy, gagged up to a chair in the center of the room. He has a bruise across his forehead and doesn’t look too happy about the arrangement.

Erik’s shocked at this new development, but it’s not his place to ask questions. Good thing he doesn’t have to, because soon enough there’s another stranger knocking at their door. And they want Eleven back.

Which. You can imagine how that exchange goes. The stranger gets what they want, although not without shedding some blood in the process. It’s not like Erik is one to complain so long as he and his sister are safe, and they do survive the ensuing shootout, despite almost being used as a meat shield at some point.

Eleven urges his savior — a family friend — to take Erik and Mia in, and they relent. I don’t know who saves Eleven. I know Eleven probably lives in Jackson with others who all treat each other like family.

And that’s all I’ve got. The plot unravels from there. The only other thing I have in my notes is obligatory sexual tension, gore, some close calls with the infected, and Eleven’s big reveal that he is immune to zombie chomps. (Full disclosure, I don’t think Erik would feel betrayed by the news.)

More overarching plot

I don’t know if Eleven sets off on a revenge plot like Ellie did in the games but hey, I’m here for that. He has a dark side he doesn’t show the others (Darkspawn, anyone?). That, or he wants to search for another doctor (one Joel didn’t murder thankyouverymuch) to help him save the world by developing a vaccine.

As I mentioned before, Jasper, Hendrik, etc. could be Group B in this fic, replacing Abby. I am so sorry to them if this fic closely followed TLOU II’s plot because that means pretty much none of that team is going to come out of this fic alive.

I DO like the idea of Erik agreeing to go on an adventure with Eleven in exchange for letting Mia stay in Jackson. So, Eleven obvs agrees and lets Erik join him. Imagine Erik unknowingly joining a revenge/murder plot and seeing his new friend slowly losing his sanity as he gets lost in the sauce of killing people. That would be terrible! Particularly if Erik said, “Sure, I’ll follow you while you do whatever” and only later discovers El’s darker motives.

The Obligatory Luminerik

No one ever needs a reason for romance in a fic but by god it was in TLOU II canonically anyway so that’s all the reason I need. Give me two boys gently mending each other’s injuries after fights. Meaningful glances over campfires and tag-teaming to overcome obstacles while traveling together. Give me that sad as all Hell guitar solo with Ellie singing to Dina only make it Eleven singing softly while Erik’s heart shatters into a billion pieces and— agh. If you don’t know how that love story ends, I don’t have the heart to tell you.

(P.s. oh I forgot to mention that El's parents were probably tragically murdered in front of him by a clicker that had heard their noise, and therefore El has residual trauma from it. Might be selectively mute or just afraid to speak around anybody really, to the point that others think he's "slow" whereas he doesn't give a shit what other people think about it and probably hasn't told anyone about the parent-murdered thing.)

#violence #death #Crossover Week #my fic ideas #my writing #the last of us #dqxi

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loopy777 · 4 years ago

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What’s your favorite composition by John Williams? And if you can’t choose just one, list your top 10.

My personal favorite is “Welcome to Jurassic Park,” the finale and credits music for the original Jurassic Park. I love the Jurassic Park theme, and this is a great suite of it combined with the ‘island theme.’ I like it even better than the concert versions of the same combination, as I think those are performed too quickly, even when Williams conducts.

And since I love talking about this, I’m also going to keep going for a top 10! Yay!

“Adventures on Earth” (from ‘E.T. the Extra Terrestrial’): Again, this is the finale and credits, which touches on all the great themes from the movie and includes the big, rousing, emotional climax. It’s funny- just two days ago I was talking about how everyone was comparing the end of Mandalorian Season 2 to the ending of E.T., and I speculated that the reason it didn’t work as well for me as everyone else is because Ludwig Göransson, while a great composer, just doesn’t do that Spielberg-sentimentality as well as Williams. But then, no one does.

“A New Hope and End Credits” (from ‘Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith’): I’m cheating with this one. I love the Star Wars music. It’s what made me aware of John Williams in the first place, and it got me to realize that the reason I wasn’t excited by all the pop music that my peers were into wasn’t because I disliked music- I just didn’t like that music. Star Wars taught me that I like the full, complicated performance of an orchestra, that the different sounds of the various instruments intrigue me more than lyrics (which I have to concentrate to understand), and that I like storytelling in music. Star Wars is probably the ultimate expression of that in the career of John Williams, not just because of how thematic it is, but also the breadth afforded by his doing nine movies spread across over 40 years. So how do I pick something to represent that? The main theme? The recurring Force theme? A suite? Yes, I have to go with a suite. But which one? I went with the one from the finale of ‘Revenge of the Sith’ for several reasons. It includes nice expressions of the themes of Leia and Luke, referencing the classic trilogy. It has “Battle of the Heroes,” which I consider one of the standouts of the prequel trilogy. And, for the soundtrack release, this suite includes pretty much all of the expanded version of “The Throne Room” from the very first Star Wars movie, which I feel was a great way for John Williams to take a bow at the end of a trilogy that can be criticized for many things but absolutely not the soundtrack. (By comparison, the soundtrack release for ‘Rise of Skywalker’ was a bit of an anti-climax, as Williams’ last Star Wars movie. That should have included a whole second CD that’s just an hour-long suite of music from the entire 9-film saga! Disney could have afford to take a loss on it! If they’re not going to release properly restored versions of the full series’ soundtracks, they owe to the John Williams fans!) And, of course, there are multiple expression of the Force theme in this piece, from the ‘binary sunset’ final scene of the movie itself to the B-segment of “Battle of the Heroes” to various parts of “The Throne Room,” and that theme might very well be the signature of the series at this point, since it has meaningful recurrence throughout the saga. The main Star Wars theme is Luke’s theme, and is reused throughout the saga as callbacks and call-forwards to that same kind of heroism, but George Lucas kind of messed up the focus there when he expanded things with the prequels. So the Force them is really the dominant theme in the saga, and that’s appropriate. I probably could have selected just the Force theme for this, but by cheating and picking a suite, I get other stuff, too, and get to acknowledge the prequel-era music (which is arguably superior to Williams’ work on the classic trilogy), so it’s a win all around.

“Out to Sea / The Shark Cage Fugue” (from ‘Jaws’): I think we have to recognize that John Williams has made an indelible mark on all of human culture- it is impossible for us include a shark in our media without a pulsating musical motif. He has literally defined the sound of sharks in our imagination. Even so, I think the soundtrack to Jaws is under-valued; sure, everyone knows the shark theme, and there’s no big thematic stuff like in Star Wars or super-emotional stuff like in most of the Spielberg scores, but it’s still a great soundtrack with really solid adventuring music that’s so wonderfully lively and fun to listen to. This suite is a great example of that, mixing samples from the second half of the movie with lighthearted moments, some of the more action-y chase music, and some darker stuff like when the ship is destroyed by the shark. I’ll often just whistle parts of this for fun even if I haven’t listened to the soundtrack or watched Jaws in over a year.

“The Visitors / Bye / End Titles” (from ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’): People are sleeping on this soundtrack, let me tell you. It starts out with weird alien sounds and standard action music, but the ending -- where mankind makes peaceful contact with aliens via the medium of music -- is one of the standouts of Williams’ entire career, one of the greatest examples of that Spielberg sentimentality. I find this music to be absolutely glorious, majestic and full and transcendent. The little joke of having an instrumental recurrence of “When You Wish Upon A Star” along with the ‘five tones’ motif is something I find actively amusing- wish upon a star, and alien life with reach out in response! XD I wish I could have linked to some of the alternate arrangements from the restored 40th Anniversary release from La La Land Records, because they’re absolutely fabulous and I love blaring them on my car’s speakers, but it seems that no one has pirated and posted them on Youtube. WHAT ARE PEOPLE DOING WITH THEIR TIME?!

“Remembering Childhood” (from ‘Hook’): Look, I don’t care what people think of the movie. I haven’t even watched it all the way through in over a decade, probably. But this is one of Williams’ best scores, no fooling. I want a 5-CD expanded soundtrack of this thing with every second of music from the film, the stuff that was recorded that didn’t make the final cut, alternate versions of the stuff that was used, etc. I love this music. Every moment is great. And Remembering Childhood is one of the standouts; it uses the main flying theme at the end, and the beginning is a big triumphant instrumental rendition of the “When You’re Alone” song that sounds great. But the showcase is the stuff that accompanies Peter Banning getting his memories back and becoming Peter Pan once again. It’s emotional and reflective and nostalgic and heartwarming. It’s a perfect musical sandwich.

“Prelude and Main Title March” (from ‘Superman’): Just like John Williams invented the sound of sharks, he invented the sound of cinematic superheroes with his score for Superman. It’s the perfect embodiment of the first and ultimate superhero, and everything that’s been written for the character since has either been a pale imitation or a deliberate attempt to do something different (to lesser effect). And I love the exuberant sound it has, like it’s shouting, “It’s Superman!”

“Love Theme” (from ‘Superman’): Two from Superman?! I didn’t even mange to fit two from Star Wars and had to resort to a suite! (Not that Superman isn’t one of Williams’ best. It’s great.) However, I feel like I had to include this one. Lots of movies have love themes, and Williams himself has written a bunch. But IMO the Love Theme From Superman is the best of them. I’ve never been in love and I don’t ever expect to be, but I have to imagine that this is what love sounds like.

“Theme from Schindler’s List”: There’s a lot of music on this list that’s warm and positive and exciting, but John Williams is also great at quieter stuff, without losing any of emotion. I think the theme from ‘Schindler’s List’ is probably the preeminent example of that, perfectly mournful and full of the proper sound, a unique sound that’s completely unmistakable. Of course, Itzhak Perlman‘s performance is a huge part of that. The theme is still good when played by others, but there’s something special about Perlman’s rendition.

“A New Beginning” (from ‘Minority Report’): Another finale, but this one isn’t a summary of the rest of the movie’s music like the others. It’s a fairly stand-alone piece, but I just love the sound of it. I’m never getting married and I don’t dance, but this is totally going to be the music for the first dance at my wedding reception.

If anyone else has favorites from John Williams’ oeuvre, feel to reply or reblog with additions. I’d love an excuse to re-listen to those.

#Anonymous #you have no idea how agonizing i found making this list #it feels like a crime that raider's march isn't here #but this was a cutthroat competition

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fullrangeofemotions · 4 years ago

Text

Hunger Games Au: Drabble

Look, I had this Hunger Games idea running through my head, of Donna and Hal being siblings from District 6, and Hal joining rebellion, Laira the leader of the rebellion cause fuck her dad the president, and Dany being the Breaker of Chains aka the face of the rebellion and just....I wrote snippets of this hence why this is so long...

Hunger games au so warning for hints of prostitution, kids dying, etc.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

They were all corralled into the center of their district, peacekeepers protecting the perimeter, as if anyone of them would dare to think to run. Donna winced at the thought of the repercussions of such a thing, but she would be lying if she did not admit to thinking about her and her family escaping. She glanced to her side, her brother standing tall, eyes focused upon the platform and their garish escort with that horrendous smile on her face. Donna tightened her hold on her brother’s hand. This would be his last year, after this, he would be free to grow old. Donna did not know if there was any higher being, but in that moment she prayed to whoever was listening.

Donna knew that her brother was likely doing the same thing, willing for Donna’s name to remain uncalled. She still had three more years to go, three more chances to be called into the games. She took a deep shuddering breath, knowing better than to look around for she would be unable to handle the terrified look on the newly turned twelve-year-olds. None of them listened, all of them held their breaths until the first name was called.

From the boys….Harold Jordan.

Donna tensed immediately, eyes turning to stare at the two of them. Her hand clamped down on Hal’s hand…she must have heard wrong, she had to. This was his last year. It could not be.

“No,” she whispered, feeling him tug at her hand but she kept her gaze forward. Perhaps, if she ignored it, if they ignored it, it would pass.

“Donna,” came the soft sigh and finally Donna turned to look at him, angry at his lack of response, but the moment their eyes locked all her anger evaporated into nothing. She let go of his hand and threw her arms around him into a tight hug, stray tears making their way down her cheeks, but she made no sound. “You’ll be okay,” he whispered back to her, pushing her back and squeezing her shoulders. Donna watched as he squared his shoulders, standing tall as he strode forward. She did not pay attention to what was said, who the girl’s name was, all she could do was look at her brother, silent tears running down her cheek. Not once, did she make a sound though, she would not give the Capitol the satisfaction.

The goodbyes were always short, hardly any privacy, the peacekeepers always wary that someone would try to escape. Helen, sweet Helen clung to Hal’s neck, crying and wailing for him not to go, not to leave them and Donna could see the way this hurt him, how this was breaking her brother to pieces. Their mother, cold, detached, the way she had been since their lost their father and oldest brother. She only took the struggling Helen into her arms, gaze soft as she looked at Hal but she said nothing. Slowly, their mom just shook her head and began to retreat, something she was very good at, Donna thought bitterly.

Donna turned her gaze to her brother, stepping up to him to push strands of his hair back and smoothing down the lapels of the jacket that used to belong to their father. “You take care, you win, and you come back to us,” she firmly told him, leaving no room for argument. His hands came up to cover hers, giving them a slight squeeze.

“Promise me, you will not ask for tessera.”

Donna looked at him for a long moment, unwilling to make such a promise. If they lost him…if they ran out of food….she would risk herself to bring food to her family…

“I promise to use it as a last resort,” she finally whispered, any protest was cut short by the Peacekeeper coming in to tell them their time was up.

“I love you,” she told him, wanting to make sure he knew. She reached up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before dropping into his pocket one of Helen’s friendship bracelets Donna had been teaching her how to make. A little piece of home, something to give him comfort….

“Be good,” he muttered, brushing a stray hair away from her face, both looking at each other for as long as they could. This could be the last time they saw each other. He did not have to tell her to take care of their mom and Helen, because he knew she would. Donna’s bottom lip tremble, vision blurring as tears welled up. Unable to bare it any longer, she turned on her heels and made her way home. She could not think about how everything they did, all the engineering and plans were the creations that were taking her brother from her.

If she thought that was the hardest day of her life, it was nothing to watching him enter the stadium.

Helen was forbidden to watch the games and her mother slept he days away. So she sits in front of their tiny television, wringing her hands, picking at her skin and making large red welts but she can’t stop. When the large explosion hit where Hal had last been hidden, Donna held her breath….until the cannon went off and his face appeared on her screen….

He was never coming back….

----

Perhaps she should had paid more attention to the events that occurred right after the end of the games. She should have listened to how the President’s daughter had been executed, caught planning a rebellion. Although, no body had ever been showed….

But she did not, instead she spent her days working and nights mourning in silence.

---

When her name was called out three years later, the first thing Donna thought was who was going to take care of Helen? There were four years before her name would be placed into the lottery……she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before making her way up to the platform. She passed by Arisia who gave her a weak smile, which Donna returned. Arisia would look after Helen and her mother, she trusted her.

Donna wondered if this was how Hal felt when he had been called. Not worry for himself, but for them, for their family. Who would make sure they were fed? They had money for their needs? Who would protect Helen? She hugged Helen tightly, almost painfully as her niece cried, begging her to stay in the same way she had Hal and Donna wished she could.

“Hey, go to Arisia, okay? She will take care of you, okay? You are a brave little girl, remember what I’ve taught you, and do not watch the games, promise me,” she could not bare the thought of Helen going through what Donna went through when she watched Hal die.

“I promise,” Helen whispered, screaming when the peacekeepers came in to take Donna away.

“Don’t hurt her! Don’t hurt her!” Donna cried out as the Peacekeepers began pulling Helen away at the same time as they dragged Donna out to the train. She would not realize that Helen left a bracelet, one that matched the one she had made for Hal. It was a beautiful shade of green. It made Donna smile.

She had to survive. They needed her.

---

There had been no victor from District 6 before, which left Donna with no victor to advise her and only an escort, to teach her to smile and wave. Donna was going to die, would it hurt? She wondered. She looked at Stephen, but he ignored her. It did not surprise her, when the time came, he would kill her without a second thought. Donna wasn’t like that.

When each knife she threw at the target during practice landed in the center, she began to think that maybe…she could do this. Still, the idea of taking someone’s life…..but her family needed her. She would return to them, even if it caused her to lose her soul.

---

She took deep calming breaths as she waited on the platform, minutes away from being released into the arena. Donna was too focus in calming herself that she startled when the door opened, but instead of a peacekeeper like she had expected it was a woman. She could not quite make out her features under all the Capitol makeup, but Donna could tell she was beautiful, would be more if she removed all the garish paint.

“You forgot this.”

There was that Capitol accent that made Donna flinch but, on the woman’s outstretched hand sat Donna’s bracelet.

---

Her first kill happened fast, the knife she risked her life for during the cornucopia run embedded itself deep into the boy’s skull. There was no time for Donna to throw up, all she was able to do was pick her knife up and run to find high ground. She was only good at long range.

As she let her knives fly, she made sure to not think about Hal, or Helen, all she focused on was surviving. She had to make it home. Still, every scream, cry, the sound of her knives hitting was ingrained into her memory. The bracelet around Donna’s wrist was the only thing that kept her sane.

---

Would her brother be proud of her?

---

The first victory party that she attended almost made her wish she was back in the arena. There were eyes on her, leering and hungry, but it was also the first time she met the victor from District 7, all smirks and winks, “Red” rolling from his tongue, soothing her nerves.

However, it was clear that being a victor only meant a different kind of suffering. Bruises and bite marks littered her body, her mind compartmentalizing all those painful memories, and it made sense now, why so many victors fell to alcohol and drugs.

And the fear….the fear of something happening to her family.

---

Donna was watching the TV, glass of wine in hand as she watched the reaping from District 12. Guy sat across from her, the closest they dared to be, afraid of the ever-watchful eyes of the Capitol. The only touches they allowed each other, where the passing of plates and glasses. Sometimes, when they felt daring, they danced during the parties.

“I volunteer!”

Donna did not know why, but in that moment as she watched the platinum haired girl speak out, loud and clear, Donna was sure change was coming.

Daenerys.

The girl’s name was Daenerys.

No one knew it then, but she would become the Breaker of Chains, the One Who Walked Through Fire, and the face of the rebellion.

---

In the moment before her escort, Hea, read out the name, she glanced at Donna, but it was such a quick glance that Donna could not read the message….and then…

Helen…

Her niece’s name ran out through District 6.

---

Donna was trying to talk to sponsors when Guy finds her, and she knows just by looking at his face. Helen…not Helen….

Donna’s knees buckled under her and she would have hit the floor if Guy hadn’t rushed to catch her, holding her in a tight hug. He said nothing as she sobbed into his chest. There was nothing left for her, nothing, she thought as she choked on her tears, her heart shattering into a million pieces. She swore she would get her out of the arena, that she would save her, protect her, but she had failed.

She had failed her family.

Did they hate her? As much as she hated herself? Why had she survived?

---

The sound of her fist breaking Hal’s nose seemed to echo through the room.

She turned her back on him and walked out of the room, her whole body shaking from her fury. All this time, they had been alive. All the years she mourned, that she talked to his spirit hoping he was out there listening….

A hand wrapped around her wrist, trying to stop her but she only wretched her hand away.

“Don’t fucking touch me. You knew, all this time, you fucking knew,” she hissed, unwilling to turn to look at Guy, who had known that her brother and Helen had been alive the whole time. He let her think, let her hurt, let her break….she thought he had loved her, but he was just keeping an eye on her for her brother.

She had her family back and yet she never felt more alone.

#;drabble #;;fic #//look idk this world never read books been so long since i seen movies//#//i may have spent way too long thinking about what districts people would be in ngl//

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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years ago

Text

Life’s pause button // Joker x Reader // fluff, soft.

It was pointed out to me a few days ago by someone very special to me that I haven’t written anything for me in a long time. I went through my masterlist and found the last time - about a month ago. I adore writing for others, but I stopped writing pieces for me because I thought I was being annoying, selfish etc. so I focused on requests instead and I’ve fallen a bit out of the loop with writing for me. I want to get back into touch with that part of me; I sorely miss it.

It used to be my favourite time of day, indulging myself in my craft for me. I always did it when I was tired and sleepy so everything was softer and more real than it already is skskskk. And I miss Joker, too. He’s my everything and I don’t even want to consider who I’d be without him at this stage of my life. I hope he isn’t upset or angry or disappointed in me because I let this one thing go for a short time. I feel like all I do is let him down, and I hate it. I wish I could let myself give in. To lose control, just once.

Summary: It’s 15:49 and you’re sleepy. You’ve barely done anything all day other than read a little and stare at the wall, but you’re tired and craving sleep. What better way to spend time with Joker than to invite him to nap with you?

Warnings: Self-indulgent, fully self-insert. Some swearing bc I have no self-control xp reader is a student of an unspecified level but it’s irrelevant to the piece so it can be discarded x reader + Joker also married, and there’s some venting in here too bc I really don’t feel mentally good rn skskskk. It’s becoming my new normal. Also talks of skipping meals (briefly, only two sentences).

The paragraphs between the two ‘----’ marks are in Joker’s perspective; the rest are all in the reader’s perspective. I hope this isn’t too confusing sksksk.

Word count: 2, 693.

Sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard as you were did your hands cradle a copy of Pride and Prejudice, one of the books which you were currently studying. It had been a favourite in your teenage years, a book which you had read times over, but even so had some of that innate joy been taken from you with the knowledge that this time was it for a grade. You preferred to learn for the sake of it. Only when letters and numbers, percentiles and the like were attached did you find yourself wanting to resist learning, even if you enjoyed the topic at hand. A contrary creature were you.

You had barely slept last night, only six hours, so eager had you been to spend some real time with Joker that you had stayed up way past your bedtime, and woken up at your usual time, too. This would doubtless be to blame for your perceived lack of productivity today, as it was every day, but you were allowed to be kind to yourself from time to time, especially with the world being the way that it was. In any case, Joker had been quietly concerned at your obvious lack of a routine bedtime. You had certainly slipped off the rails these last few weeks in all walks of life, and though he longed to help you, in the end was there little he could do for you. You were your own person and you were self-aware to a fault; if you wanted his help, you would ask. Until then, well... He’d just have to be patient.

You yawned for the seventh time in almost an hour. Coffee, though you drank it at the same rate Joker smoked, wasn’t touching you this day and you knew that there was only one option for you if you wanted to spend the latter half of this day in a lighter state, your mind no longer fogged by the tangible sense of sleepiness:

You had to take a nap.

You had only read through and taken notes on forty seven pages in the last two hours, but the ink stains were beginning to blur, the outer edges of your vision cloudy, and you were yawning far too frequently; your eyes watering with each one. You wondered if you were yawning because you were just that sleepy, or if you were yawning because you were yawning.

In the end, it mattered not, for your body won out, as always it must, and you used your pen as a bookmark, placing your university approved copy of the book on top of the newspaper which rested on the nightstand, the words Eat the rich blazoned across the front page.

As you got ready to take a nap, your body almost vibrating in the face of the physical relief which would be coming to it very soon, it was your act of shutting the bedroom door with a firm click which alerted your Joker to your intentions. You always left the bedroom door open when you were studying. Joker was your reason, your purpose, your muse, and it wasn’t unusual for there to be a head poking around the living room door for a few seconds, just so that you could take him all in and be reminded of why you did what you did, and who you did it for. It definitely wasn’t for you.

You also left the room open as a sign of trust; you trusted that Joker would know that you were there for him at any time for anything even if you were busy, that he would know that you were okay and that he didn’t need to check on you often, though of course you appreciated it every time he did, that he would know that even though the door was open, you still needed to work and an open door wasn’t necessarily an invitation.

-----

At this time of the day and knowing about you what he did after all the years you had been together and all the things you had overcome, there was only one reason you would shut the bedroom door, and from his position on the sofa did Joker strain his ears, listening for -

There it is.

The curtains in the bedroom were quickly pulled across the pole, and Joker continued listening with a growing smirk on his painted visage as he heard the bed springs creak and groan in protest. There was no point in going to join you now. You may have laid down but there would at least thirty more position changes before you got comfortable enough to nap. The amount of caffeine you drank coupled with the worn springs of the old mattress which dug into your back at very specific angles made it hard for you to get comfortable.

-----

You lay on your back in the double bed, your eyes stinging now that the presence of sleep was strong. Your hands were resting across your abdomen, your fingers playing with your wedding ring. You would have to take it off to sleep soon, and you always felt irrationally guilty for having to do so. The ring had sharp edges so it could cut your face in your sleep, but it also had the unfortunate and uncomfortable tendency of getting caught in your hair.

The duvet was pulled right up to just beneath your eyes, self-conscious were you of the double chin which you thought was there. Often did you put the back of your hand underneath your chin to feel for it, but rarely was it there. Since you had started only eating two meals a day had it slowly disappeared, and you were happy with the lack of your double chin now. Joker hadn’t said anything about you skipping a meal a day - it was usually lunch which you skipped, so entangled were you with your daily hobbies and hours of study. Or, that was what you told yourself. You knew the reality of it: you were lazy. Joker knew about it, of this you were sure, but he knew not to push you until you were ready to talk about it, if you wanted to talk about it. Pushing you before you were ready would only make you clam up further, and that would only exacerbate the issue at hand.

You rolled over, your back to the door. You were lying on the side furthest from the door, which was your side, but you had switched pillows with Joker. The scent of his hair dye, of your shampoo, for smelling like you did he like, the scent of greasepaint and of the cigarettes he wasn’t supposed to smoke in bed but you couldn’t say no to him for anything and you both knew it, and of something distinctly Joker filled your nostrils, and the way that the pillow seemed to perfectly cradle your weary head, the way the worn mattress was suddenly comfortable... You were definitely tired. You closed your eyes with a relieved sigh, moving so that one of your legs was outstretched fully and the other was bent at the knee.

You were so tired.

As such, it didn’t take long for you to fall right to the edge of sleep. Your body positively melted into the warm mattress beneath you, the duvet perfectly sheltered you from the natural chill of the apartment, and you shifted your body, wanting to feel that familiar, heartbreakingly comforting presence in the bed beside you.

You thought about going to get Joker, you really did, but your mind was blissfully quiet; your own racing and raging thoughts too far away from you. They were there but so distant were they that it barely mattered. At this moment was Joker also far away from you. You wanted him desperately, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to even open your eyes...

“Awh,” A soft, hushed coo from the doorway, which you hadn’t heard creak open in your mostly sleepy state, alerted you to Joker’s presence, and you grinned into the duvet, truly burrowing down. Unsure were you if Joker was there or if you were imagining it, but your brief, hazy thoughts were dashed away by the gentle padding footsteps, the rustling and subsequent shedding of clothes and the weight of the mattress behind you as Joker slid easily into bed. “Are you sleeping, darling?”

“No,” You mumbled, slowly turning over to face Joker, “Just...I feel so drained. Needed a nap or somethin’. Don’t know.” Your voice was quiet, your tone soft, and you couldn’t have hidden the emotions within your voice if you had tried.

Joker hummed contemplatively. Even half asleep as you were did you know that he was extracting what you hadn’t said from the words you had spoken. From there would he compare it to what he already knew about you, after all these years, and what had worked last time in the same situation; for often did you resort to naps when you were physically tired, but also when you just didn’t know what else to do. You often called napping “the pause button” on life, and sometimes was it simply the “reset button”. When you were in an especially morbid mood, however, you called naps and sleep in general “death with benefits”. It never failed to make Joker chuckle, and it was one which he had studiously recorded in his battered old brown journal, marked with the date and time you had first said it, and surrounded with blotted ink asymmetrical love hearts and crooked smiley faces.

“Do you want your clown blanket?” Even with the question was Joker already sitting up, a growing smirk on his face as he got to watch your face light up like a christmas tree. You loved your clown blanket, and Joker knew it.

You squeaked and shifted your body so that you were lying flat on your back. “Please! I love my clown blanket!” You brought your arms up, too, raising them above your head, so that you could be tucked in by Joker.

Joker hummed appreciatively as he lowered himself down onto you, touching his forehead to yours as his arms encircled your back. He shifted his entire body onto you, your legs entangled and bodies perfectly aligned, and then you brought your arms around Joker. “I know you do.” Joker’s voice with thick with pride and with love. “Your clown blanket loves you, too.”

You squeezed your eyes shut tight as you hugged him to you, Joker grunting and then huffing in amusement. At first he had been confused when you had asked him for a clown blanket, but then when you had asked him to lay atop you and make himself everything that you knew, he had burst into a series of giggles which were punctuated by the cutest hiccups you had ever heard in your life as understanding had dawned upon his angelic features.

You already felt a million times better as you burrowed your face in Joker’s neck, taking the time to just breathe him in. You pursed your lips to feather sleepy kisses to his neck, your mouth clumsy as you loved on Joker as best as you could. “I love you, Joker. I love you, I love you, I - “

A soft coo of understanding, of love, rumbled through Joker’s chest as he dipped his head to kiss you, his painted lips soft and gentle against your own. He pressed his lips to yours once, twice, thrice, before he pressed his lips to yours a fourth time and moved his mouth against yours, his hot pink tongue darting out of the warm cavern of his mouth to coax your own out to play; you allowed Joker to ravish your mouth with his, your arms sliding down, down, to rest upon his hips. “I love you too, Y/N. So much. You’re my everything. Like music.”

Your heart stopped in your chest and then picked right up as tears sprung to your eyes. “Joker, I - “

Another hum. So emotionally intertwined were you that any emotion you felt as an individual echoed in the heart of the other; you shared your pain, your love, and any of your emotions. It was like there was a string tied between your ribs; any twinge from one heart was felt as clearly in the other as if it was your own. You spoke to each other most succinctly and most often without any words at all, so well did you know each other. Communication and trust was the core of your relationship, as in any good and healthy relationship, and you and Joker had reached such a point that clear communication came as easily to the two of you as breathing.

In Joker’s hum did you hear acceptance and an abundance of love. “I know, Y/N. I know.” His soft whisper, those tender sea green eyes, the way Joker pressed his painted forehead to yours as he nuzzled into you, his arms so solidly around you, his legs between yours, his chest rising and falling with your own and the familiar weight of him atop your body... you felt your eyes sliding closed of their own accord. Your eyelids were so heavy and you were falling, falling...

The time for words was over. You needed to sleep, and Joker needed you in your rawest, most vulnerable state, desperate was he to know that you trusted and loved him. Even now, even after all that he had said and done.

There was movement as Joker moved down the bed so that he could rest his head on your chest, your heartbeat, strong and steady in his ear. Your entire body was surrounded by Joker and all that he was, all that he is and all that he would ever be, and he pressed kisses to your clothed chest, nuzzling your body.

You pulled the duvet over you more securely, Joker’s head completely hidden from you. This was his favourite sleeping position. He adored it as much as you did. You shifted your hips, spread your legs, so that Joker could fit more comfortably in his current position, and slowly, slowly, your arms feeling like lead, did your hands find his romantic green curls. Your fingernails scrapped against his scalp and Joker shivered. If he were a cat would he be purring, so content and so relaxed was he.

This.

This was what you had been needing, what you had been missing. A serene, sleepy smile was on both of your faces as you gave and took comfort in equal measures, so highly attuned to one another and to the core needs of your relationship were you.

There was no Joker without you, and there was no you without Joker. You kept each other safe from harms which existed in people and in the outside world, but most importantly did you keep each other safe from yourselves.

Before you could fully succumb to your sleep, though, did you have to speak your deepest, most special truth:

“I love you, Joker.” You were barely coherent, clinging were you to the precipice of consciousness in your mind by your fingertips.

You felt Joker turn his head so that he could kiss your clothed chest and a muffled, “I love you too.” filtered through the gaps in the duvet, caressing your ears like the gentlest, most natural of winds.

All you had was each other, all you had was love, but that was all you needed. Just you and Joker, just like this. There was nothing like the two of you, and there never would be again. It was a once in a lifetime bond, a connection of two of the rarest souls to grace the earth at the same time, but if it was done right, and it was, then it only had to be done once. For in any universe, in any timeline and in any alternative or parallel universe would you find each other, again and again and again; your souls merely being re-introduced each time.

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