#cus i need sleep
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me have another 2am thought
Anyways, Rin is training to be a medic-nin right? I just thought this was the best way for Rin to get closer to Kakashi because of his trauma.
my thought process:
Rin is a child shinobi that grew up in war, moreover, she is training to be a medic-nin in wartime. Now, when you are learning something that is very sensitive and possibly life-altering like medical knowledge in wartime you have to be very knowledgeable so that 1) you can heal your soldiers faster and efficiently, 2) not have to replace your soldiers from multiple deaths, 3) would be considered more advances in military efficiency compared to other hidden villages. Especially when the hidden leaf grew up with the living legend of Tsunade, meaning most medical knowledge is very highly known and advancing more quickly with the wartime crunch.
What I'm getting at is that medical knowledge should be highly advance when Rin starts her training. However, as said before, she has to understand medical knowledge to start the practical medical process.
Let me propose this: Rin has seen many mentally unstable shinobi because of the tragedy of war.
Maybe this might seem extreme but so is using children to go on a mission that is to be the turning point of the war and not a shinobi that is more highly advanced and fully capable of in acting it, not preteens who barely advance into another rank.
So Rin has seen many horrors of the human mind from those that they lost, physical injuries, and to the deaths they committed by their hands. Wartime is not stable for the fragile minds of children who grew up in war. Hence, I think Rin has seen and mostly helped and shadowed many nurses and doctors to help their patients as much as possible before they are forced to enter the battlefield once more.
I think Rin might feel like a failure in some sense, to see these people she could help but also can not. She has to send them off to a place that was the reason for causing their minds to slowly break, not knowing if they would come back or if she sent them to their death.
If obito can have inseacureties about his clan, and Kakashi with his father, then I would make it so rin's struggle is trying to save those she was trained to save but can't.
This would honestly make more sense if it were applied to how Rin tried to save Obito and her sacrifice for the village. Maybe she thought she could finally save people even though no one would know her name, even if she hurt her last friend, even if she would never open her eyes.
(and now i have 2am tears, god damn )
So this is how I connect this thought process:
Rin doesn't see the effect of Sakumo on Kakashi. Well... yes she has since she did know him when he was younger but let me rephrase that. Rin sees Kakashi as a cool and amazing person, even when she enters the academy and is placed into a team with him, he is still 'cool' and 'amazing' and 'skilled'. She, like Obito, might have never heard of Sakumo's death and thought that this was how Kakashi had grown up to be. Or she just thought this is how Kakashi has grown up to be through the natural change of growing up like any other kid and might not have questioned it.
But what after she started to learn medical information? People don't usually know what is wrong with the people closest to us, we excuse their behaviors as "Oh, that's just like them" or "Oh they've always been like that". Rin could have thought of this or she was just blind to Kakashi's struggles because she herself is still a child, a child who thought very highly of Kakashi and might have seen him in some sort of hero-worship. We are often blind to those we hold close to because we always see them in one type of light that we don't see other 'discoveries' about them.
But anyway, I think Kakashi acting all jumpy and weary and even scared at Obito would make Rin see Kakashi in another light. One that matches her patients. Of course, it's going to take a while because, after all, she has been holding Kakashi on this pedestal majority of her life, but she will see the signs.
She will feel shocked, and maybe a bit of denial because how can Kakashi, genius and perfect Kakashi Hatake, have ptsd/trauma. Much less with Obito of all people!
But she will look, she will watch, and see that he acts like this when Obito is most angry when he yells or shouts when he blames him or calls him out. She will see Kakashi become tense and still, how he always keeps an eye on Obito and is tip-toeing around him instead of aggravating him.
She will see how fucken terrified Kakashi is of Obito and think.
Why is Kakashi scared when Obito yells? Why is he so quiet all of a sudden? Why is he so twitchy as of late? Why does he have dark eye bags under his eyes? Why does he look like he is losing weight?
Why does Kakashi look like a dead man walking?
It scares her, it scares her a lot.
Kakashi is starting to look like the shinobi she treated but can't truly heal or save. He looks like he is consistently being hunted by a nightmare like he doesn't want to live, like he is the last man alive.
Rin is scared, scared that someone she grew up with, seen, and became friends with (at least she hopes they are friends) is now looking like the people she has failed.
Then she started to think, is this the last time I see him? Will he be back? Is this the last time I ever see him again?
Those thoughts haunt her.
And her mind steeled itself to one though.
I won't fail him, I won't.
a question but also an idea dump
has there been a Kakashi time travel fic to his time in Team Minato and he's scared or overly cautious of Obito? Like I'v seen a couple where he is just either very nice to his team mates or he's going through trauma hell to be very jumpy over everything. But like, is there one where he is just kind of fresh out of the war or during the fourth war and the first thing he wakes up to is his old team?
Minato which, while dead, he still saw and had some sort of closure with him
Rin, depending on when he traveled back, is a girl he spent years regretting her death but understood through years of friends helping him that she made that choice, or saw her ghost, and is stable now of his feelings about her
Obito on the other hand? Obito who he despaired for years, who he based his personality and character on, who turned out to be the killer of his second family, who hurt his village and friends, who started a world with the world, who wanted him to essentially kill him (the same way he did with Rin), and if we go further, who died after he saved his students when Kakashi was willing to be that sacrifices instead.
Honestly, I think he would have fresher newer trauma from Obito all over again. I think Kakashi would have spiraled if Obito lived after the war, yes maybe he will forgive him or whatnot but you can't tell me he wouldn't have some sort of complicated resentment for all that he did and the impact it had in some sort of twisted way in his life. Kakashi is a shinobi, he is an adult, he has trauma. He will not just feel one type of emotion for other people because he himself knows to see the world in a shades of gray. But emotions are a funny think and they take time to react and mask them.
So imagine Kakashi back to his younger days and the first thing he sees is Obito yelling at him, getting angry at him, blaming him
You know what most people talk about when it comes to trauma? Flashbacks. But for Kakashi, he's flashback was real and staring right back at him.
He will attack Obito, maybe run, maybe keep fighting him, to kill or defend himself? I don't know, you usually don't know when you are faced with the face of your trauma yelling right in your face when you are at your most vulnerable.
Needless to say, Team Minato is very concerned for their youngest.
#yup#bestie Rin!#or girl friend#whatever you perfer#im a obkk myself#so this is just the start of rin getting into the mind set of saving kk#cus i have many thoughts on medic nin#and rin is perfect for this#obito is going to be jelly omg#this is bad#very bad#i will write about obito after sleep#cus i need sleep#but yeah!#rin time!#i love rin in this idea#gonna write more about her here to#but anyways#tags#team minato#team 7#obito uchiha#hatake kakashi#rin nohara#minato namikaze#shinobi war#naruto au idea#naruto au#naruto shippuuden#naruto shippuden
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The Group Photo feat. Sam and Adam 🥹💙
All of my fav boys in one place 🥹
#plane just landed and this was the last video i had to share 🥹#guys. i was SO DAMN enthralled by Adam but didn't take a single picture because i didn't want to seem weird 🥺 be proud of me pls 🥺#i didn't really payed him much attention during the st set. But OH BOY. i really was so focused on bilmuri#but everytime he came to our side i just couldn't look away. they could've been setting a car on fire om stage and i wouldn't know#he was literally within an arm's reach. and at one point he took off his hat completely AND the hoodie#so my guy was walking around with loose hair and visible tattoos (with a t-shirt). pussy fresh serving millions#and sam 🥹 well. he a cutie pie#you can't see me in the group photo cus i'm LITERALLY behind the banner#but i made it in the back-to-back photo of iii and ivy on iv's post 🥹#i was there and my friends were there and it was amazing and beautiful and aaaaaaaaa#i need to do a recap once i'm actually home but. wow. what a show and what a way to *basically* end the year#sleep token#adamrossi#sam hallett#sleep token vessel#sleep token ii#sleep token iii#sleep token iv#sleep token tog tour#london ritual
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sometimes i hang out with a herding breed dog and it really makes me go damn girl you live like this?? ://
#dogblr#do you know you could have a sporting dog?#do you know you can have a dog that doesnt stare at you 24/7?#do you know you can have a dog that sleeps through the night instead of pacing for eight hours?#anyway yet again i am made aware that herding breeds are not for me#in general i feel like people really overuse the place cue#but then i spend time with a herding dog and im like oh.... you do actually need to be on a cued place....#so so so not for me sorry#(this is me just being a hater i love and respect all of your dog breed choices)
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shuffles in… hiiii klance!!!
#voltron#vld#klance#lance mcclain#keith kogane#muscle memory when drawing them I swear i picked my pen and it all came flooding back to me#i’ll always love these two so much#i keep drawing keith cute I think the lance goggles are gettin to me… my next time drawin them should be like#pidge: what do u see in him. lance: *imagines keith shoujo sparkles* and pidge: *imagines keith sleep deprived and messy* i dont get it..#truthfully i drew this cus i rlly wanna join a klance zine and needed to dust off my boys!#think i havent posted them properly since 2021 oh this is so saddd#eggsdrawings
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sketchbook bits
#remember the last time i got a new sketchbook and i was like no way am i gonna ditch this one#well#actually gonna try and keep this one cus somebody needs a portfolio for art college#my art#sketchbook#i took a nap and got sleep paralysis life is so relentless#artists on tumblr#couldnt get rid of the pencil smudges in the first one smh
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Oct. 3rd
[Image ID in alt text]
Sometimes it’s better to think of what you’ve gained instead of what you’ve lost
[Image ID in alt text]
Never forget
#hope y’all like this lol#I was trying to think of what to draw for a while#idk. found family#my art#art#fanart#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#full metal alchemist#fmab#fma#fma fmab#fma fanart#roy mustang#edward elric#alphonse elric#winry rockbell#riza hawkeye#oct 3rd#never forget!!#described#digital art#digital paintings#this was originally inspired by me sleeping on Effie’s shoulder during a car ride btw :]#and I was thinking in terms of Roy & Alphonse cus they need more stuff abt them#and then I was like… what it edward#and thennnn I was like#ALL OF THEM!!!#anyway
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Day 20: aaauughfgsgxgvnnfgjnd
#rambled in these tags sorry its been a long day#toontown corporate clash#pacesetter#graham ness payser#ok i said in my last post that todays was gonna be another prompt but i do not have the mental energy for that rn#like i stayed up all night even though i knew i had somewhere to be (i tried to sleep it didnt work my sleep cycle was fucked)#then i took a two or something hour nap cus i knew i would be out all day and then i was out and social for EIGHT HOURS#so yeah my brain is pretty fried from that#my shoes were really uncomfortable too and i was standing for most of it so uh oww#im doing alright btw this drawing is more of an exaggerated projection but i think i needed it right now#also fun fact most of the drawings on this account do have sketches made for them. this isn't one of them i wanted it to be a bit more jank#i need to sleep now bye jgsdkajgjk
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i always imagine the ninja to use very different stances regarding their elemental powers... kais is very much more hands on, "get out there" big motions, martial arts to aid with his fire, and jays has a lot of minimal movement, but very precise and sharp hand motions (kind of like lightning bending in atla) like using only two fingers just bc he has to be more in control than everyone else (which i recently found out is a canon thing!!!)
yes yes yes all of them have specific fighting styles with little quirks.
like jays little fighting quirk is throwing people over his shoulder for no reason lmao
but yes i agree!!! kais big fast movements, his focus in the fight relies in how well he can feel the air around him so he can burn it (since yknow fires burning air), cole is more hard specific strong moves, nyas very fluid very wave like in her motions, zane is a mix between cole and nya, and lloyds moves are mostly inspired from kai and jay!!
and jay is a mixed fucking bag. he unconsciously takes so much inspiration from others fighting styles that he can execute practically every signature move of the others. but yeah hes extremely precise, especially with his powers due to anxiety that hell hurt innocent bystanders or his teammates.
thats before skybound though. after he fights like a completely different person. what to others might look like his powers get out of control more often, what actually happens is that jays survival instincts take over the fear of hurting others. he has a much more of a kill or be killed attitude running in his veins. his moves are sharper, faster and you dont wanna get kicked by him. (he forgets he doesnt need to use as much force when moving his legs now that theres no vengestone ball attached to him). its angrier.
and it takes a few years until he gets his calm back.
also oh?? jay needing to be more in control than everyone else is canon?? do tell?? (i might be aware of this but it mightve slipped my mind so pls share with the class!!!)
#aaaaaaa i need to go to sleep soon but gods i need to do more research on fighting styles cus thats such an interesting characterisation#opportunity#*ask#anon#jay walker#kai jiang
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Gale said he was tired and old and I like to think when he gets cranky, he throws little fits and Astarion just kinda squints at him before grumbling and getting Gale to bed.
#bat rambles#i hc that vampires don't need to sleep#which works really well with astarion being the only non-magic user on the team#cus everyone else is out of spell slots and he's like LET'S GO HURT SOMEONE#meanwhile gale is doubled over with his hands on his knees dry heaving#basically if ever wrote a modern au astarion would be doing coke religiously#bloodweave
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i hope tumblr doesnt butcher the quality
do yall fw father figure col. dax and MI naib with the younger vers of spring hand as the chiddler
its like two homies (platonic, trust) tryna raise a child tgt. its pretty funny imo
also the reason why the chibis in the bottom left have antennae is simply because i js like to turn this war torn merc into a bugger
original early 2023 vers utc
also sorry if i sound hella dry, posting this right after an all nighter
it looks so ass tbh. best part abt this is the detail of the very hungry caterpillar book
#identity v#idv mercenary#identityv fanart#identity v naib#the very hungry caterpillar#ugh i love that little caterpillar so much#and this guy so like#why not combine them??#and patch up a couple of daddy issues while youre at it too#whoohoo!!!#holy shit i need to sleep#tbh i doubt thisll get many notes at all cus my meme/joke drawings get more traction anyways#its aight tho
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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Australian Rituals / Teeth of God Tour Bingo
Alroighte gwois, let's hear your predictions for the upcoming rituals. I *might* make another bingo (like on Wembley) - even if I don't, let's get them all in one place cus I think it's funny.
If you have something specifically for the Teeth of God Tour (because they are headliners and can do Cooler™ Fancier™ stuff) do specify. Same for strictly Australian Rituals. Some stuff may happen earlier (like when they debuted TMBTE and the new Espera masks), others may only happen on the Tour, so let's just put them all here and see what happens 😗✌️
Please reblog/put on the replies your predictions!! Whether serious or silly, please share!
Mine are:
One of the Vessels (Vessel or ivy OR Espera!!!!) singing onstage with Oli
Kangaroo/koala headbands / Aussie Explorer hat
EUCLID (more for Teeth of God but wouldn't be surprised if earlier)
The Apparition (PLEASE)
The Summoning pushups will return
Older song throwback (please please Sugar or Jaws. TNDNBTG for ToG)
Outfit change for the Vessels (only cus i think Australia is quite hot now innit? poor iv will MELT in that jacket)
NEW VESSEL JEWELLERY
This one I'm not super confident/keen on BUT new Vessel mask with Antlers (more likely on ToG but who knows)
#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE RITUALS AAAAAAA IT'S RIDICULOUS#i kinda hate that because of timezones they will be playing during the day (for me) rather than later at night but!!#it means we can at least gather round in the evening and react together#cus lord knows how many full nights of sleep i sacrificed during the US rituals#actually yeah now that i think about it it *IS* better this way#ignore my earlier tag then i am thinking out loud#i need at least one picture of the crew with koalas. Just one#i know the girlies are there already so i'm assuming they are ALL there#(one of the Esperas posted on her stories. calm down guys i am not doxing anyone)#do you think they are doing fun Aussie stuff 🥺 trying vegemite and milo and petting koalas and fighting roos 🥺🥺#wait but Adam is not there yet. maybe her photo is from last year. or maybe they're all arriving at different times idk#i just hope they are not stressing too much and are having fun and healthy 👍#i will get SO emotional hearing Vessel fully recovered on stage again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#ANYWAYS I RAMBLED TOO MUCH OMG SORREH#if you reached this have a little snack for your troubles 🤲 🍊🧃🍬#sleep token#sleep token teeth of god tour
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it doesnt look like much but im proud of dis coloring
#im trying to learn how to make subtle but effective adjustments#like instead of trying to completely change the lighting i just tried to make it look more... natural idk#this is 10 adjustment layers instead of my usual 5 + grain#coloring#ok i really need to sleep now i spent all day studying but i feel like i didnt retain any of it cus i had jhope on the brain
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HELP i just learned Mormon temple rituals are based on masonic rituals????? oh my god like........i might need to take a day off of work about this......
#also learning about the full depth of the LeBarons and blood atonement like I'm going to need a second!#this youtube channel has taught me so much in 2 hours in going to have to literally drug myself to sleep to stop watching cus y'all know ho#i am about the damn mormons#I'm also texting my husband furiously about fundie mormon sects and blood atonement when his complete understanding of Mormonism comes from#my sister wives rants and Under the Banner of Heaven which he loved but i basically had to annotate for him#the AUB is connected though so i think i can tie it all in in the morning#the lebaron family#church of the firstborn#the kingston group#the order#fundamentalist mormonism#mormons#mormonism#AUB
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there’s just something so endearing about a man that can’t sleep without you, or always ends up falling asleep around you because he feels safe <3
#‧₊🌷˚⊹ ashi rambles#especially if you argue and opt to sleep on the couch and they come sleep on the floor next to the couch#cus they need you close :(((#even if they’re cross with you#ignore me i am sleep deprived and mushy
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before lesson 11 has come out
Solomon: You really just gave him the grimoire....
MC: I invested it in trust that will reforge my pacts.
Solomon: Well... I think you can call it the way, yes. Though you could have done more.
MC: You know, I don't even need it to control them.
MC: ...And if the grimoire was your version of a knife under the pillow I recommend you to remember who you sleep with. :)
Solomon:
Solomon: I—
Thirteen: You two, get out of here!
#free to read as you wish but also#i have a little headcanon that my MC couldn't sleep well after what happened in lesson 16#after season 2 everyone had something to do so they just swept the Night Dagger thing under the rug#the dagger remained with MC and ends up under their pillow since then#even if they was going to stab themself with it it still can kill demons#right?#one day Solomon accidentally came across it and it was a pretty awkward moment#(Solomon obviously drew some conclusions from it)#(mostly very anxious)#since they started dating and sleeping together my MC took out the dagger#they definitely crack jokes about it#like#at least it wasn't a sword#or#i don't need to sleep with a knife anymore 'cus i sleep with you#but in fact they just started to feel generally better#so there is also a little reference and a payback in this dialogue#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me solomon#✧ headcanon
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