#cus I don't WANT to go down the same path he did | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yuu--dachi · 2 years ago

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a joy to be hidden, a disaster to not be found

hewwo! it's my first fic in a while and also the first fic on this blog. wahoo!! and it's.... an x reader fic which i've also never done before!! and also for genshin!! wahoo!!

ships: alhaitham x reader / you (gender neutral)

content: hurt/comfort, fluff, lowkey pining from alhaitham, reader experiences a panic attack, written in reader's pov but switches to alhaitham for a bit at the end, alhaitham says Sorry cus i like to make him do that 😎

words: 4k (help girl how did i let it get this long...)

synopsis: in which a haravatat scholar realises that everything is not as simple as it is, our body betrays us at every second of every hour, and the three times alhaitham finds you, no matter what.

this reader is for all the babygirls (gender neutral) out there who feel things so deeply and we are all crybabies. i see you, i hear you, and i love you!! we're all bad bitches who are easily moved and touched by the world around us and that's lovely!! keep shining your light on this world, friends!

i'm taking requests for drabbles and quick fics or poetry! whatever inspo strikes me 😴

---

the first time he finds you, alhaitham says:

“the solution is quite simple.”

and you find your fist in wanting of purchase in his face.

“this wouldn't be a problem had you realised your limits before your entire body broke down. surely, i don't have to cite research papers for you to understand that it is important to take note of one's mental health accordingly, as an adult with agency in your own life? then you don't have to find comfort in the mouth of a beer mug.”

he was surprisingly chatty today, and at any other time you would have loved to relish in making him speak for so much for so long. getting him to talk so much was like trying to scrape the bottom of the jar for the last smidgens of berry jam, and you savoured it just as well.

but not today.

“alhaitham, you're not in my shoes, so stop trying to make me walk down the same path you do.”

he tipped his head, confused. “what's wrong with my path? i have no relationship problems—”

“because you don't maintain any.”

“—no financial burdens—”

“because you don't spend it on anything.”

“—and no personal problems.”

“because you don't bother with anything you don't care for,” you sighed out.

“if i didn't maintain any relationships, then why am i here? and if i didn't spend any money, then why is the bill under my name? and if i didn't bother with anything i don't care for, then why am i with you, right now, instead of reading at home?”

he flicks your nose; you sniffle in response and bury your face into the hard table, slightly damp from your tears.

“i don't know,” you whispered, the words leaving you without a thought. “why are you here, alhaitham?”

“if i follow your reasoning, it's because i'm bored, have money, and don't care to be anywhere else. does that answer satisfy you?”

a silence between both of you, even though the tavern was filled with the sound of chatter and the tinkling of dishes and cutlery. “...no.”

“then why upset yourself?”

you remove your face from the table and look at him, despite your eyes red and puffy from crying, nosy runny, and a wood grain pattern imprinted on your cheek and forehead. “i just wanted to hear you say it.”

he hums, thoughtful.

(despite his demeanour, he was rarely thoughtless about anything. even if he didn't make decisions you would've done.)

“because i care about you,” he let the words out slowly, like testing how they roll off the tongue. like learning a new language. “is that alright?”

you plant your face back into the table, all too-aware of your red eyes that must've sparkled, your lips that wanted to become a songbird in return for such simple words. “mm-hmm. thank you.”

“you're very welcome.”

***

the second time alhaitham finds you, you are under a table.

“go away for a bit,” the words come out of your mouth clumsily, like tripping over your own feet in haste. “this one's t-taken.”

your humour probably didn't land as well as you hoped. the stuttering of the heart in your chest beating like a butterfly's wings in flight, like it had ambitions of flying out of your chest instead of remaining behind your ribcage where it belonged. to your credit, it was hard to think of a joke in the middle of everything that was happening in your body. you would've rated yourself fairly well, all things considered.

alhaitham didn't seem to agree, although he didn't frown at you. he tends to voice out his disagreements vocally rather than through things like body language—you know, like a machine would when you press the wrong button?

if he knew what i'm thinking right now, he would probably say that it's one of the virtues of studying under haravatat—classic alhaitham!

instead of saying anything immediately though, he sat cross-legged in front of you, his eyes wandering, seemingly…. observing? what was he looking at? you're sure you could've tell if your mind was clearer, but you couldn't at the moment.

“does it not hurt?” he asked, then, from your face dipped over your hunched knees, you heard two raps of a knock on the desk. “this is the desk made with athel wood, isn't it? it's very durable, but it's difficult for the city craftsmen to make full use of them right now because of how hard it is. the edges don't look sanded enough.”

“i-it's fine,” you choke out, and then breathed in and out for a proper response. “i don't mind it so much.”

he raised a brow in return. oh, you think, so now he's going to use body language, is he?

too bad you couldn't savour it this time too.

“as long as it's pressing against me, i'm… okay.”

you hear him hum in understanding, like he does when he reads a well written proposal.

“is that why you chose this desk in particular? the others were too high and wide and you couldn't make contact with the wood?”

before you realised it, it was easier for you to speak now, even though your heart was still pounding, and your skin felt raw. you didn't usually try to talk when you were experiencing… whatever this is.

“yeah. i just need… to feel safe.”

before you realised it, your face was no longer tucked between your knees, but instead resting on them as you avoided looking him in the eyes.

“i see,” he said, and he paused before saying: “would you mind if i tried something?”

you hesitated, and your eyes finally meet. “i don't know, what are you going to do?”

“i'm going to hold you in my arms,” he said, and switched from sitting cross legged to having his knees tucked under him, arms open and his hands stretching for yours. “if you don't mind.”

in any other situation, you wouldn't have minded. you'd say: maybe it'll start snowing in the desert today! should we start preparing for the oncoming winter?

but now….

you were a mess—just like you were in the tavern that night, too. red ringed on your puffed-up eyes, sweat drenching your clothes and making your back feel as humid as the rainforests at night, and you could barely eke out a word before seemingly using up every bit of air in your lungs, like a newborn babe that only knew how to cry.

you didn't know how to tell all of this to alhaitham. sorry, can i go change into better clothes first? can i save this hug for another time when i'm completely sane and sober to take full advantage of it? can you wait till i ice my eyes so i can look at you properly?

instead, what came out of your mouth was: “i'm disgusting right now.”

he hummed, and you weren't sure if it was his i'm-considering-how-to-reply-to-this-idiotic-situation hum or i-see-where-you're-coming-from hum.

“i can see why you'd think that, but that's irrelevant.”

ah. so it was both.

“why do you want to hold me?”

“i want to see if i can do a better job than a desk,” he says, and you feel a smile ghost your face, only because you see him wearing one too. a small smile, simple like him.

“i probably smell really bad. i'm sweating so much right now.”

“that's fine. i'll stop breathing through my nose.”

“my eyes are really red too. it's not that i don't want to look at you, it's that i'm too embarrassed to.”

“i can just close my eyes.”

“my heart is pounding really painfully right now, and it's hard to talk.”

“i'll ask questions that are easy to answer then.”

finally, you relented. “...is it really okay?”

“yes.”

after you confirmed that he couldn't smell you and couldn't see you, you slowly inch from under the desk and into his lap, where he then wrapped his arms around you. not tightly or passionately, but a sort of reassuring grip—like he wouldn't let you fall.

“how does it feel?”

“you're probably better than my desk,” you laughed out, and the sound felt strange to your ears, just moments after you were alone and crying and hyperventilating under a desk in a room by yourself.

“glad to be of service.”

you laughed again. “i don't think even the other sages from the akademiya can ever get you to say those words.”

“because they can't. if any of them leapt into my arms asking for a hug, i'd redirect them to doctor zakariya.”

you laughed again, and you were glad you made him promise to close his eyes. the sight of alhaitham smiling slightly at you, and the sight of your smile looking at him would've convinced anyone that you were starstruck by him. you didn't feel up to being publicly humiliated at the moment.

the two of you spent the next few minutes—which felt like hours—in each other's embrace (well, yours in his, mostly), and soon your breathing steadied. from the high tides and low crests of your chest rising and falling asynchronously, it returned to the rhythm of the afternoon tides of port ormos.

although it was a difficult question to ask, you asked anyways. “are you not going to ask me what happened?”

“one of the six sins of any scholar under the akademiya is to interfere in human evolution,” he began, and you felt a smile coming before he even finished. “i assume it was your body's way of protecting you against a threat. although—”

he opened his eyes, and you would've tried to stop your smiling by any means before he could see you, but he was wearing a smile of his own, and you couldn't help but dig your fingers deeper into his arms.

“—the nature of the threat and it's scale remains unknown to me still. you have a way with handling problems, after all.”

you gave him a big smack on his chest, fists closed for maximum impact. “ouch!”

how did that hurt you instead of him?

“a good rule of self defense is hard parts against soft targets, and soft parts on hard targets. you shouldn't have closed your hand. a slap would work better.”

“how was i going to know your chest was literally rock hard?!”

“i thought you might have some inkling. i've noticed your stare a few times before.”

you wanted to throw yourself into the abyss.

you couldn't, so instead, you took his hand and bit his fingers as the next best thing.

a small ouch sounded from him, though you couldn't tell if it was genuine or for the sake of making you feel better. you laid your head back against his chest, arms now wrapped around him in return.

“thanks, alhaitham.”

“you're very welcome,” he muttered in response, and you almost didn’t hear him.

“you’re not going to tell me that the solution is simple, or that i was the one that caused this thing in myself?”

he hummed.

“no,” he started, and you wanted to collapse in relief. “i am a scholar of haravatat, not amurta. i don’t understand the subject matter enough to say in any confidence or plausibility that the way your—or anyone’s—body works is simple. if it was that simple, then we wouldn’t have an entire field dedicated to it. and i do wish it were that simple, sometimes. then perhaps so many scholars wouldn’t have written audacious sounding proposals that i’d have to read thoroughly just to reject.”

you snickered. “what does haravatat’s wisdom has to say about me?”

for a moment, you see his eyes soften, straying away from yours.

“that your body failing you is not a moral or intellectual inadequacy on your part. that we do not have full control of ourselves, even if we would like to. that, perhaps…”

“perhaps?”

his gaze returns to you. “...perhaps, we are all more fallible than we see ourselves.”

“only you see yourself as infallible. i know very well how my body betrays me every second of every day. it’s one of the things that comes with being in touch with my own emotions, don’t you know?”

the teasing was meant to be lighthearted, as you knew he didn’t mean anything he said before in a dogged way. his words was not thorny on purpose like a bramble bush, just rough to the touch like a tongue’s cat. there were days where his words striked too much like an arrow through you, and days where the coarseness only brushed your ankles like standing in sand. you loved and cared for him despite that.

suddenly, he pulled you tighter against him, and you squeaked. “alhaitham? Is everything okay?”

no answer. you shifted in your position to make yourself more comfortable, and with whatever left strength you could muster, you rub your hands over his back in calm, soothing circles. “there, there.”

your voice reverberated through your body, and you continued to hold him reassuringly, hoping that enough exposure to having him be so close to you would cure your racing heart and your voice, almost crumbling at his touch.

it was good how self conscious of yourself you were. then, you wouldn’t be able to tell that his heart was racing, too.

***

the third time he finds you, it was not so much being found as it was being chased.

it was just one of those days that went wrong in every way it could’ve gone wrong. you stubbed your toe after getting out of the shower, your research project was going nowhere despite your multiple reminders to your groupmates, and even the way the sticky-sweet baklava clung to your teeth annoyed you.

worst of all, you had a fight with alhaitham.

now that you think of it, it could hardly be called a fight. you’ve seen full-grown adults in akademiya gowns act pettier in a structured debate, and you were sure that if you had asked alhaitham—truly asked, with no contempt or malice—he would’ve presented to you a perfectly reasonable explanation why he didn’t act like an asshole and moreso sounded like one.

right. the only person that was taking things too seriously was you. it had always been you.

it wasn’t that you wanted to be less emotional. you had spent too much time in your formative younger years denying the fact that you simply felt things more deeply, more quickly, than others. it was difficult to accept that you simply had thinner skin than most people—that, on a bad day, the veil of privacy that stood between your emotions and the outside world was nothing but sheer silk that fluttered all too easily with an evening breeze.

the ‘fight’ was nothing spectacular, either. It wasn’t as if you two were having an intellectual discussion as two scholars, rigorously going through peer review on a research paper. it wasn’t as if neither of you would come out of it having respected each other a little less.

but, like the person that you are, so tethered to the heart that it kept your feet frozen sometimes, it had hurt you deeply.

it truly was nothing spectacular. you simply wanted to vent about your terrible groupmates, and you thought that it would be nothing more than a venting session over drinks, getting sober, and then buckling down to do the job once you were ready again in the morning.

but it escalated. he, also seemingly irritable that night, kept bringing up questions, solutions, to your dismay. at any other time, you would’ve let it slide and shelved it as simply alhaitham being alhaitham—a man who wanted life to be simple and easy, fixing problems before they sprung. however, what you needed that night was not a fixer or a tinkerer with all his haravatat wisdom. you needed alhaitham the drinking buddy, the one that would foot the bill, the one that held you in his arms and wanted to be of more comfort than the desk you hid under.

“i just wish you would just—listen!”

“i am listening. it’s just that it’s difficult to keep my words to myself, seeing as this problem can be easily fixed, if you weren’t so fixated on unnecessary things.”

“unnecessary? i don’t like them, but it doesn’t mean that i want to snitch on them!”

“what’s stopping you? they clearly don’t respect you. who else can they blame but themselves as the logical consequence of their actions if you do tell on them? they are adults in their own capacity, and the akademiya is not a place for people to loiter around, seeking for forgiveness for one’s own incompetence. their lesson is theirs to learn.”

“i have my own way of fixing things, alhaitham. you may not care about other people’s feelings, but i do! and i’d rather work it out clearly with them rather than resort to underhanded tactics just to have my life go a little smoother.”

“then tell me, why hasn’t your way of fixing problems worked? only an idiot would employ the same methods over and over again, hoping it’ll work the next time.”

he didn’t call you an idiot directly, but he didn’t have to. the insult found its way to you just the same.

even if you did, you couldn’t fully deny it either. in the perspective of alhaitham, perhaps everyone else other than him was a dimwit full of hot air. the thought that the same applied to you, who you thought had a pretty close relationship with him, stung the most.

he had tried to talk to you and reach out multiple times (although, by your estimates, his attempts were somewhat weak and clumsy), and you kept him out of your house with a badly made sign that said ‘TRESPASSERS BEWARE’ above an aranara carving that looked—in your opinion—pretty scary.

on these days, it was difficult. you couldn’t touch yourself, feeling so raw that you feared that wherever your hand brushed, you would come away bleeding.

there were at least some good news though: your groupmates finally decided to cooperate with you for the project, and you were extremely thankful for it. it turns out that they all had personal issues that made it difficult to speak out on, and now that they realised that you wouldn’t judge them for whatever excuse they may have, they confided in you, and everything went as smoothly as you could hope for.

the four of you celebrated at the tavern, drinks in hand at 3 p.m. in the afternoon. the boss, seeing this particular group of inebriated students, simply shook his head and smiled defeatedly. by the time the sky changed colours, only you were left sitting alone at your table after having escorted the other three to their homes to get some well-earned rest. you would have left soon after, if not only for the fact that you had ‘bumped’ into alhaitham and he ordered a drink to have at your table.

“i was right,” was the first thing you said to him, and you enjoyed the look on his face when the words left your mouth. “i was right. everything turned out like i hoped it would.”

he tilted his head. “surely you can’t expect for luck and fortunate circumstances to befall you every time?”

“i don’t. i don’t, but… i’ll keep doing what i’m doing. i like it when everyone is happy. things won’t always go the way i want them to, but i’ll keep doing it, because it’s important to me that i try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, that i don’t walk the easy road if it means i’ve passed by something meaningful just to suffer a little less in my own life.”

“you sound like kaveh.”

you chuckled. “that sounds like a compliment to me. thank you.”

when his drink arrived, alhaitham nudged it your way across the table. you raised a brow. “what’s this for?”

“to say i’m sorry.”

“words aren’t enough for you?”

“words are only enough for people who trust others to tell the truth,” he paused, then added: “and i don’t.”

you hummed, then leaned back in your chair. “pretend, then, that we are two people who trust each other to tell the truth, and that we would believe in each other no matter what. what would you say?”

his green-red eyes flickered, and you didn’t know from what. if it was with other people, you could hazard a guess, sure—but alhaitham was different from the people you’ve met, and you did not want to presume what his heart feels.

(even if he claims that it’s only there to keep him alive.)

“when i couldn’t see you, i still thought of you, and i didn’t know what to do. i want to apologise for insulting you with my words, even if i didn’t mean to. i failed to calculate the exact way they had sounded until it reached my own ears and i saw how hurt you were.”

you said nothing, but nodded slightly as a go-on.

“i like it when things are simple, but that didn’t mean i wanted you to be simple. i just wanted things to be simple for you, and i unreasonably tried to force my perspective onto yours and ended up hurting you in the process. and for that…” he seemed to have trouble wrangling the words out of his throat, and you would’ve laughed if he didn’t look so pained. you reached out for his hand on the table, resting yours atop his. “...and for that, i am deeply sorry.”

you hummed. another moment to savour.

there was still one more thing you needed to clear up, though.

“...do you think i’m an idiot?”

unlike mere moments ago, the words shot out of his mouth before he even tried to rein them in. “no. not at all. i’ve never once thought you were.”

you smiled at him, somewhat self-deprecatingly. “but you don’t like how emotional i am.”

“it’s not a matter of liking or disliking. your emotions serve a purpose in your decision-making. it’s simply that… i do not like the experience of having to see you go through things that hurt you, even if you’re willing to do so.”

ah, so that’s what it is.

“alhaitham, do you care about me?”

his eyes, previously unfocused, darted back to meet your unflinching gaze. “have my actions indicated otherwise?”

you couldn’t help it. you snorted. “alhaitham, the line between caring for a person’s wellbeing out of courtesy rather than concern is a very thin line. at least, for the rest of us who you might call ‘drama queens’ and ‘fake socialites’.”

maybe he didn’t realise it, but his brows scrunched under your scrutiny, and you couldn’t help but feel joy at the fact that you made alhaitham, someone so aloof and disenchanted, truly perplexed.

“do you not know the answer already?”

“i do,” you say, and you were sure that your smile was infuriating him now. “i just wanted to hear you say it.”

a silence between both of you, even though the tavern was filled with the sound of chatter and the tinkling of dishes and cutlery.

“i do care for you. deeply. does this answer satisfy you?”

“yep!” you smiled, and alhaitham wasn’t one to offer prayers of gratitude to the sevens above, but he was glad that you were so self-conscious of yourself to be blind to the way he leaned forward in his seat, his one hand tightly clutched under the table, and the way he wished he could bottle your smile and indulge in it on a rainy day, if he could.

ah well, alhaitham thought, tomorrow is another day without them realising.

#alhaitham x reader #genshin x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin x you #genshin fics: mine #alhaitham #alhaitham fanfic #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader hurt comfort

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bitchkay · 3 days ago

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Yall I did some ✨math✨

And I think Aquias consort path will be released in english this summer around mid/late July, latest mid/late September.

The English app is around 2 and a half years behind the Japanese app and even though the path releases were not in the same exact order this is kind of a base

It's looking like Aquia will be in the second event of feburary and this can be taken as his debut as a consort but I don't really consider it his debut as a consort cus he kinda already had his little debut as a love intrest with his appearances in the story packs and short story content and I'd even consider the times when he's in event/consort routes as a secondary character cus there's actually quite a few where hes made his feelings for you known. Aquia as a love intrest isn't like a new thing to me. Guys path was one of the very first consort paths released on this app and Aquia actively and explicitly has a crush on you. I think an Aquia route has been teased for a long long time. It is however his first story event as an independent consort (probably) so a win is a win.

But nothing is certain.

How would they even announce Aquias book 1?

The last consort to receive a book 1 (Lou) was released back in late 2022 so its been quite a minute since we've been introduced to a "new consort" so to speak.

The way consort paths were released in the past (consider that I've only been playing this app since around when Lance's path was released and my only frame of reference is from his path and the ones that followed and patterns of how the books are released, book 2s dont count cus the characters have already been introduced) was they do that thing where they want you to guess who the next consort to receive a book 1 by showing parts of their body and their silhouette then pop out like surprises shawty this is your new boyfriend, probably tell you about them, and (depending on the character) they're scheduled to debut in an event (or two!) and then their path drops, new consort added to the roster🥳

The thing with Aquia is hes not a new character at all, hes very well known whether you like him or not, and him as a love intrest isnt a new concept either. The anonymity granted of the first 13 consorts cant really be done with Aquia and from the last two Saligia cups it's clear yall want him bad. The moment they say a new character is getting a book 1 we'll all know its Aquia, no guesswork involved. Aquias route has been anticipated for how long now? Not to mention hes one of THE most popular undateable characters, well undateable until his route comes out.

Anyway I went off track a bit I was going to explain how I calculated it

The Japanese app was released (depending on the time zone) on Feburary 28th, 2018. The English app was released (depending on the time zone) on October 28th, 2020(my birthday btw if you care🙄🤚🏽)

These dates are exactly 973 days or 2 years and 8 months apart.

I cut it down a bit taking into consideration the path could come out early without being too early. Nothing less than 912 days or 2 years and 6 months

Aquias book 1 was released in jp (depending on the time zone) January 25th, 2023.

2 years and 6 months from that date is, July 25th, 2025. (912 days comes up to the same date.)

2 years and 8 months from that date is September 25th, 2025. (973 days comes up to September 24th, 2025 but consider that both dates can be off by a day due to timezones.)

Nothing is confirmed so my word is not gospel but I think it would be safe to hope for an Aquia path between july and september

Honestly if I'm right I expect Aquias route to be announced by the end of winter cus regardless its been 2 years now, like just a couple days a go makes 2 years since Aquia release in jp so I dont think it's far fetched to expect Aquias consort path to make it to the english game by the second half of this year

Also I don't think July-September is unreasonable either considering his birthday is in August too

Again my word isnt law, I just thought I'd look into to see when its possible to expect an Aquia route and I think too hard about things, if I'm right that would be nice but if I'm wrong then I'm wrong so what it's not like I said it was going to come out tomorrow Aquias route is going to come out anyways like, it's going to come either way, I can be patient, even if it ends up being delayed I wont crash out-- well I might crash out like still like if theirs issues with the schedule theres nothing we can do about that, let the developers do their job and hope Aquia comes to the en server soon☆

#court of darkness #aquia avari #voltage inc #i havd to re write this post cus tumblr decided to tell me to fuck myself and threw it into the void #my brain was sparking trying to remember what i wrote #i had the details down pack the number and shit but the wording evaded me

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miabbh · 17 days ago

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hi mia! do you think baekhyun is really a manipulator? i read somebody writing an “essay” abt his real personality, and idk whether i should agree or not >.< i mean ,have you ever felt manipulated by him? (im asking you bc you’re closer to him in some ways)

anonie, hello!!!

i don't know exactly what you're talking about, nor even found that "essey" and maybe you're asking as a joke and i'm overthinking cus my sense of irony is broken and i wanna cry

that manipulator part—is it towards everyone as part of his personality; or is it towards his audience (us); or is it... i don't know... how's his real personality? very different from what we see, from the idea we have of him from all the content and replies and all?

this way, it's quite hard for me to give you a good opinion as i can't quite comment on what you read and made you this undecided.

although, imma make my own "essay"!!!!

first thing first: no, i do not think he is a manipulator. and honestly, i can't quite see from what from part of his real personality it is possible to get that conclusion.

i was in the kpop world for soooooo long before actually start enjoying EXO and baekhyun. i don't quite remember the time, really, nor the circumstances around it, but i do remember thinking for the first time i saw him "i wish i get to my twenties so confident of myself as him".

baekhyun knows what he wants—he's successful because he has goals and works hard to achive them and because he believes he can achive them. and also, he always said—out loud, all the words, very slowly for everyone to understand—what he wants.

being a manipulator understands that the person, through the weaknesses of the one being manipulated, uses those same weaknesses to harm in any way in order to achive what that person wants. this goes for all the manipulation types—somehow mess with empathy.

i personally never noticed a time when baekhyun tried to mess with our empathy in a serious way, besides those jokes in which he exaggerates some pain just to "see us worried about him because it's cute". all i've seen until now is a man that owns his words and actions, if he makes mistakes he takes responsability and apologizes without excuses to make him look nice for the picture.

i don't know how long ago that essay you talk about, anonie, was written, but if it also mentions anything from last year situation in macau or something similar that happened before, i kinda get the point. and why? lemme explain:

baekhyun is (almost) everyone's sweetheart cus he's funny and silly and has that chaotic and lively energy that just melts everyone's hearts. he's like a puppy, for real (and i'm a cat person 101%). besides that, he's such a great professional! he owns the stage, he owns the screen, the own the audience everytime he needs too. that gives him a kind of a...... too naive image, at first. like he doesn't know what he's doing but it works so he keeps going cus people like him that way (?)

that's why i think he can >be seen< as persuasive (manipulator is actually too strong a term to apply to someone like him) "oh no, he made a mistake😱😱!!! oh and now he's silent and quiet, there is no rain of messages on Bubble like before 🥹🥹 oh man come back we miss you! we still love you come back!!" as if it was a way of making people forget about the situation and move on out of affection.

spare me of that.

i do trust his silence as much as his words.

no one can see in a sandstorm. we need to wait for it to calm down to see—or to hear, in this case. it doesn't mean that the storm was forgotten—surely there's sand everywhere—but now everyone can see clearly and you can choose what path to go on your own.

last year, during all the vaping situation, baekhyun only showed up after weeks!! away for the fansigns. what he did: he apologized, publicly and in front of all eris in the room, for his actions—never defending himself, but apolagizing!

he's a manly man—honest, serious when he has to be, responsible, mature, confident, hardworking, kind, sensible.

sad and the real thing here is that nowadays it's not seem as the bare minimum. and then, when people do the right thing, it looks like they're being just so honest and vulnerable and !!!!!!it messes up with empathy!!!!!!! making people possibly see it as a manipulation.

i don't even see baekhyun as persuasive, really. it is only natural for human beings to follow someone we admire, and it is not necessary for that person to even say it, or try to buy us through emotions and acts to follow their lead. you just do because that same person makes you feel safe and confident and you just do—some more aware than others (reads: more in ✨delulu✨ than others, but it's everyone's own business).

from the beginning, baekhyun wins over everyone with his charisma, talent, hard work and strong mindset. nothing changed.

and i really really really really don't see him as a manipulator

now that part of "have you ever felt manipulated by him?(i'm asking because you're closer to him in some ways)" really got me anonie cus how much do you know 🧐🧐??? or was it all a joke and i really still wrote this all anyway cus i just love speaking my opinion on things??? what do you mean??????? pls come back to my inbox and explain to meeeeeeeeeeee

anyway

anonie, i never did. my admiration for baekhyun is for all the person he is—and still i point his faults, i don't try all the ways to consider him innocent for his mistakes, and honestly i even get kinda mad at him from long time to looooong time cus i need to process things too

something silly but that i've been thinking quite a lot, but never found a good moment to say it

⚠️cw: religion | you can skip to final notes in blue

i attend to a roman catholic christian mass every week. it's not my faith anymore, i don't pray nor participate actively on it; i just watch, listen, disassociate and take some notes to take to life. given the time in the religious calendar, lately there is a lot of talk about jesus christ and how everyone that followed him was just... happy. this is the speech "christians are happy because they welcome the son of god, because they welcomed jesus into their heart"

at first it didn't make any sense to me—with all due respect, i admire jesus as a great person who walked this earth, but i couldn't understand how it was possible for him to be a source of such joy. as a good overthinker, i looked for a metaphorical meaning and almost cried cus i really wanted to understand how people could say that so frankly and so deep in emotion

and then, it clicked. i feel something like what they're all talking about—that happiness and love without even ever see each other, touch, hear, smeel, feel, sense at all meanings. for baekhyun.

talking of him sometimes makes me want to cry. i mean, how the shi am i, a 20yo girl that had a miserable grade on an exam that defined her life for a year, gave up on college and is still trying to not freak out in this mad world, cry over a man that is on the other side of the world?? like- hello?!!

and still i cry everytime without any shame cus the way bbh made me feel loved and appreciated and made me act up for my dreams is so revolutionary in my life that i am so grateful to that friday january 19th 2024 for bringing him back into my life through the random and stupid tiktok video of "YA! BAEKHYUN!"

it was gradual, thought. to the point only one year after i realized this. i lost the vision i had of him when i was 13~14 years old, to see that same him with more mature gaze, realizing that it's okay not to agree with everything, that i can leave the live if i feel like it and that's okay because we still love each other.

growing up also helped me realize his honesty that he's not afraid to show, especially now. and guys, we even know the silly shit the says when he needs to excuse to use the toilet!

final notes

please anonie send me the post if you can, i want to read it too!! sorry for the long post 😅 got a bit to excited....

so, from my side the answer is no. though, i really think this is a personal thing you could think about and try to understand why you're so in doubt, like what's making you itch. feel free the talk to me too, i love discussing things!

he knows when to be silly, and he knows when to be serious; when to be on the spot light and when to step back; he takes responsability for his mistakes and makes of us almost personally be a part of his life. i never met someone like him, let alone an idol.

#anonie #sorry for such a long post and if it was a joke sorry for not getting it 😭#mia's purrs

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isabellafoster13 · 3 years ago

Text

This was requested on AO3 by Kurasame.

I tried to make this fluffy instead of angsty. I also decided to make it from Sting's POV just like the first part.

I hope you enjoy!

Remember Me? Part 2 (Sting x Lucy)

Sting looked over his guildmates. All were talking, joking, and being kind to each other. It was an amazing sight. A sigh that he never thought he would ever see. The Grand Magic Games hadn't gone the way that he thought it would. A lot of shit happened. However, he was glad that it went in the direction that it did.

Sabertooth was free from Jiemma and Minerva, he was Guild Master, the guild that he loved was strong and happy, and they were friends with Fairy Tail. The mages of Sabertooth were free from the roles they were forced into. To top it all off, he was going on a date with the woman he had loved since he was a child: Lucy Heartfilia. Sure, he had to endure punishment from Jiemma and Minerva for his "crime" of saving Lucy before he confessed his feelings for her, but it was worth getting to where they were now. He and Lucy had agreed to go on their date in the town Sabertooth was in because there was a park that they could go for a walk through. A nice, peaceful date.

Sting sat at a table, staring at the guildhall doors anxiously. He was waiting for Lucy to arrive for their date and he was just so excited. The dragon slayer bounced his leg repeatedly and drummed his fingers on the table. It wasn't late in the day, only the afternoon, but he was eager to spend as much time as he could with the blonde woman.

Some would say that he was acting like a lovesick puppy, but so what if he was? Could you blame him? This was the same woman that had saved him when he was a child and showed him more kindness than any other human had. He had been in love with her ever since and had dreamed of seeing her again. She was the reason he wanted Sabertooth to become what it was becoming now and to become as strong as he was now. He had waited years for this day. Like hell he was going to waste it!

Sting heard the humorous whispers and muffled laughs of Rogue, Rufus, Orga, Yukino, Lector, and Frosch as they observed him, finding his obvious excitement and smittenness funny and worthy of teasing. He internally sighed. He wasn't looking forward to being teased after his date.

His attention was quickly drawn back to Sabertooth's doors when he heard them get pushed open. His dark blue eyes lit up at the sight of the beautiful blonde mage he had been waiting all day for. With a wide smile, he jump up and rushed to her, sweeping her into a hug before the guildhall doors even fully shut.

Lucy's melodic laughter reached his ears and her intoxicating scent of strawberries and vanilla was all he could smell. The celestial wizard returned his embrace and the pair simply stood there, not caring about the fact that the entire guild of Sabertooth was staring and whispering to each other. Sting felt her pull away and reluctantly allowed her. He didn't want to let her go just yet, so he kept his arms wrapped around her, pulling away just enough to be able to see her pretty face.

Lucy smiled up at him and asked, "Ready to go?"

Sting smiled back down at her and nodded. With a wave to his guild, he offered his arm to the other blonde. Once she hooked her arm with his, the two walked through the guild's doors and into the warm outside for their date.

Sting couldn't stop staring at Lucy as she practically buried her nose in one of the roses that grew along the path they were walking down. In his eyes, she was more beautiful than any of the roses that lined the path. Lucy straightened and turned to her date with a bright smile that made him blush. The blonde woman walked back to him, exclaiming as she linked her arm back with his, "I've always loved roses! They are so pretty and smell great!"

Sting chuckled. "They're not as pretty as you, though. And they don't smell nearly as good as you do."

He watched as Lucy blushed and looked away. Just when he thought that she couldn't be cuter. They continued their walking. Sting asked, still staring at her as she gazed around them at the colorful blooms, "I heard that different colored roses have different meanings. Do you know anything about that?"

Lucy smiled up at him before dragging him over to a bush of red roses. She gently touches one as she explains, "red roses mean romantic love. They also signify beauty, passion, and desire. It's because of this that they are the perfect gift for a romantic partner." She then dragged him to a nearby bush of soft green roses. "these symbolize peace, fertility, and spiritual rejuvenation. They are a good funeral decoration because of their meaning of peace." She proceeded to drag Sting to a rose bush that had a different color of roses from the previous bush, telling Sting the meaning of each color as he nodded and listened.

"Blue roses aren't found in nature. Because of this, they symbolize mystery and unattainable or unrequited love."

"Yellow roses mean friendship, joy, and cheer. They are a great gift for a friend or family member as a way to say 'congratulations.'"

"Pink roses have a wide range of meanings. They symbolize dignity, elegance, admiration, innocence, happiness, gentleness, grace, sweetness, and gratitude. They are a great 'thank you' gift too."

"White roses symbolize innocence, purity, chastity, spirituality, and new beginnings."

"Purple roses mean enchantment, love at first sight, royalty, majesty, fascination, and adoration."

“Orange roses symbolize fascination, passion, enthusiasm, attraction, and desire. Passionate and fiery emotions."

"Black roses symbolize death and saying goodbye. They have a dark meaning, but they are also a very pretty color."

The two mages continued their walking. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Lucy said, "I didn't expect to ever see you again, honestly."

Sting glanced down at her. He responded, "before the whole thing with Tenrou, I was determined to see you again. I wanted to become a strong mage and impress you because you impressed me with your strength."

Lucy laughed lightly. "I wasn't a very strong mage at that time. I was exhausted after summoning three spirits at the same time."

Sting stopped walking and turned to Lucy, gently gripping her shoulders to make her face him before he moved his hands to take up hers and say, "still, you were very strong to me. I wanted to impress you with my own strength in magic. I also hoped that when I got older, you would go out with me. When you and your guildmates disappeared, I was devastated. I thought that I would never see you again. I hadn't loved anyone else the way I have loved you. In my eyes, you were, and still are, a great mage. I love you, Lucy. I really do. I can't imagine being with any other woman. When you returned from Tenrou and agreed to go on a date with me, I admit, I had entertained the thought that maybe it was the universe's way of telling me that we were meant to be together. I won't make you love me too. I know that you can't control who you love. I'm sure that you have plenty of other options. But, I'm selfish. I always have been selfish. And so, I hope that you will say that you love me too."

He stared down at Lucy softly. She had a deep blush on her cheeks and she was staring at him in amazement at his confession. She looked as though nobody had said anything so sweet and loving to her. If that was true, then Sting would be sure to say more words of love to her. He wanted her to always know that he loved and treasured her. If he had to give a new love confession every day in order to ensure that, then so be it. He would happily do so. All he wanted was to wake up every morning with her in his arms, go on jobs and dates with her as often as possible, and make her his mate. He wanted to be with her for as long as he lived.

Lucy's voice brought him out of his thoughts when she softly responded, "I can't say that I love you. Not yet. I'm not sure what exactly my feelings toward you are. However, I do know that I want to be your girlfriend."

Sting smiled. It wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but he was perfectly happy and satisfied with it. He knew that he would be the best boyfriend he could be. He would love and protect her.

Lucy leaned upward, slowly closing her eyes as she went in for a kiss. Sting wasn't going to deny her a kiss, so he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was quick and soft, but it was just as good as any other to Sting. The pair then pulled away and resumed their walk, moving on to the topic of their individual guilds.

#fairy tail #lucy heartfilia #sting eucliffe #sting x lucy #stinglu #stilu #sticy #roses #first date #part 2 #sequel #fluff

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akampana · 4 years ago

Text

Continuation of this ask

Bedivere x Arturia - Ship it

What made you ship it?

TBH I was one of those few people who shipped it based on that like 2 second scene at the end of FSN. The Camelot Singularity just reinforced it. A lot came from the original Arthurian legend as well. Bedivere is similarly insanely loyal as he is in the game, and like in Fate lore, he’s been with Arthur longer than most.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

He journeyed so far for so long just to see her smile OH MY GOD BRB IM SOBBING HOLY CRAP CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE—

I’m a sucker for intensely loyal knights and I will always be. ALWAYS.

THE ANGST POTENTIALLLLLL but also THE FLUFF POTENTIALLLL

This man loved his king so bloody intensely. So strongly that his desire to see her survived the test of time. To be loved so much, so unconditionally for a thousand and a half years? Gods, that’s just too much, man. ;-;

And I absolutely adore how much it means to him to remain her knight, even if he tends to be insecure about the limb that he lacks, and how he believes he is nothing special in comparison with everyone else. I love that Arturia recognizes his strength and his worth, even if he himself can’t see it.

THE ENTIRE CONFRONTATION IN THE THRONE ROOM LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CRYING SOOOOO HARD THROUGHOUT THAT IK NIT EVEN KIDDING

THIS, the MINDBREAK Arturia goes through when she tries to remember

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think that THIS SHIP NEEDS MORE LOVE AND I REALLY OUGHT TO CONTRIBUTE

All the other answers below cut!

Irisviel x Arturia - Ship It

What made you ship it?

I think I was bound to the moment I watched Fate Zero. When I was younger it was overshadowed by the feels Diarturia brought and not to mention Kiritsugu and Iri but this ship is damn good on its own.

What sold it though, is the argument she and Kiritsugu have in Episode 16, right after the last Saber and Lancer fight. Irisviel, who we all know loves her husband so much, forced Kiritsugu to answer Saber. That’s just how important Arturia was to her.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I think they both found in each other something they themselves lack. It’s actually kind of funny. Arturia is human, and yet she’s so heavily consumed by her ideals that she doesn’t act like one. Irisviel, on the other hand, is not human, and yet everything that she does and wants to do is exactly that.

Throughout the anime, Being with Iri puts Saber into such mundane, ordinary situations that it teaches her to live. The suits, the escorting, being a passenger instead of a driver, appreciating the water by the seashore, etc. It's like the woman wants to leave her with some appreciation for the world, especially when she herself doesn’t have all that much time left.

On Irisviel’s part, I think she found in Saber the companionship she would have wanted from Kiritsugu during the last few days she remained on the Earth. Arturia had been the perfect knight in shining armor, taking Irisviel around to see the world as much as they could amidst a war. If they’d just had more time, I have no doubt Arturia would have taken Irisviel even more places, you know?

It makes me sad :( but in a good way.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I’m pretty sure Irisviel would wear the pants in this relationship ya know what I mean? Hahaha

Much as I love this ship, I think that it becomes all the more valuable because of how it ended. To each other, they were this brief, fleeting feeling of happiness. A love that was so short and yet so strong.

Shirou x Arturia - Don't Ship it

Hooooooo boi. Hear me out, mkay ? But this is just my personal opinion so pls no hate

Why don't you ship it?

I’m gonna start out by saying I don’t think I need to, tbh. Hahaha there’s enough content for this ship being fed to us, so my liking it or not is immaterial. But the reason is well...I watched FSN and Shirou x Saber was...not the best thing about it (the best thing about it was the soundtrack omg iconic) Shirou comes off as a bit of a misogynist, and kind of immature, and the whole time it’s like he doesn’t really listen to Arturia at all. Plus, it’s kind of like he just likes her looks at times. The final deciding factor was the date scene. That was just unbearable.

But then I go online and I see all this good stuff about them. And my friend ships them cause they’re canon, right? So, I’m like okay, what if I judged too quickly, let’s play the VN...and I did. And I still didn’t like him with Saber at all. So, I played the next route, watched the next anime, trying to redeem 1st route Shirou as much as I could but it just....didn’t happen. I think I can safely say I tried to like them. I really did. But no.

What would have made you like it?

Removing the misogyny and the immaturity and letting him listen to her. Like he should have.

At no point in their interactions did it feel like they were standing on equal ground, ever. Either he was speaking over her or the opposite. So less of that and a lot more respect.

And when you compare this relationship to what he has with like with his other two love interests, it makes this ship fall completely flat. It’s pretty...bland and honestly kind of shallow. It’s like the story just tells you they’re in love but there’s no answer to why they’re in love. Make him fall in love with her for her without necessarily forcing his need to save everyone on her.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I may not like how they got there, but in the end Arturia was able to pass peacefully.

I acknowledge that Shirou was important and made a change in her life.

That ending scene where they meet after so long, NGL is pretty sweet.

A lot of my headcanons happen post-Shirou, so there’s also that.

Archer x Rin -Ship it

What made you ship it?

Tsundere x Cynic has gotta be one of the best dynamics out there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

His true identity. The fact that she dragged him all the way across space and time to return as her Servant, that’s just bloody fate at work.

The fact that he keeps acknowledging she’s a strong Master despite his later conduct in UBW.

Archer is ridiculously crass and Rin is easily riled up. In the Fifth Holy Grail War, they had the best Master-Servant relationship period. They have this explosive chemistry that just works so well.

When he smiles at her at the end of the route, and you just know that Tohsaka’s gonna be stubborn enough to make sure Shirou doesn’t end up going down the exact same path.

I think it’s sweet that he ends up going along with her whims because he secretly likes housework.

THE PRINCESS CARRY/ CATCH. MAN OH MAN.

Unlike the previous ship mentioned here, these two actually stand on equal ground with each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think it's exactly an unpopular opinion, but I think they really ought to have more official content y'know? Rin is important in every route, and Archer's the actual climax of UBW and also entirely significant across three routes.

Medusa x Sakura - Don't ship it

Why don't you ship it?

Because while journeying through the routes, I always saw Rider as more of a best friend/sort of motherly figure to Sakura.

Or that Rider fulfilled the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with Rin, while Sakura unknowingly filled the void Medusa's sisters left in her life. I thought she was more of a guardian angel really, not a romantic interest. Kind of like how Heracles was to Illya.

What would have made you like it?

If I could maybe forget about the threesome with Shirou and the implied romantic feelings Rider has for him in Ataraxia that would be great.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Sakura deserves all the happiness in the world and I really do believe that Rider could fulfill that.

This ship DEFINITELY DEFINITELYYYYYY NEEDS MORE CONTENT

Diarmuid x Cú - Ship it

What made you ship it?

oooh this probably sounds surprising since based on my content you'd think, no i dont ship this BUT I DOOOOOOO (i just happen to hc them as bros more often)

Honestly what did make me ship it is the parallels.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

IMO They have the biggest potential for hurt/comfort amongst all the ships mentioned here.

They can help each other get through their trauma. Their whole relationship would be extremely healing and supportive.

I love that Diarmuid seems to have idolized Cú Chulainn at some point and honestly who wouldn't be honored to stand beside him, no?

They could be up to the funniest shenanigans because Cú is chaos and Diarmuid would absolutely be an enabler because when he isn't angst-ing he's super damn chill.

Bros being bros hahahah...unless?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really. Maybe that I think Lancer Diar and Cascu would get along better and Saber Diar and Lancer Cu would also get along better but honestly any form is good this ship is good

#akampana asks #bedivere #arturia pendragon #artoria pendragon #irisviel von einzbern #emiya Shirou #archer #rin #tohsaka rin #Medusa #sakura #sakura matou #diarmuid ua duibhne #cu chulainn #long post

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jensungf · 5 years ago

Text

𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 ∞ 𝐩.𝐣𝐬

summary: park jisung was supposed to be more than a passing cloud, than a fleeting moment.

pairing: reader + park jisung ft. childhood friend!mark genre: high school!au, angst, fluff, some comedy too cus dreamies are funny af word count: 7.7k warnings: language, mentions of nausea

author’s note: i’m super happy to announce that i hit my first follower milestone!! thank you to the 100+ precious people who decided to follow my horrid blog, i really appreciate each and everyone one of you and i hope you enjoy this story to celebrate!

this is a sequel to my story passing clouds so please check that out first before you read this.

Jisung felt sick to his stomach. Like the time Donghyuck had somehow managed to convince him, or more so, drag him against his will onto that horrid Viking ride that day they went to the theme park together. Jisung had clutched onto the bars for dear life, and he could’ve sworn that his stomach flipped-flopped inside out and back again, with his life flashing before his eyes, all while his friends laughed at his misery. But now, along with the deja vu in the form of nausea churning in his stomach; he felt as if his chest was being constricted from the unbearable weight of guilt that was consuming his body. The gloomy skies thundered outside, as if the heavens above were laughing at his misery. As if they were chanting a mantra, reminding him that he fucked up as his head replayed the words you had sobbed just mere moments ago. He should’ve known it was a bad idea then — yet only after facing the pit in his stomach and the echoes of your cries did he know how ditching you was in fact, an irreversible mistake that might’ve cost him more than just his friendship with you.

He clenched his fists, knuckles turning white from the iron-grip on his phone as his arms fell limply to his side. What had he done?

Jaemin spoke first, as the boys all quieted down from their gaming soon after witnessing the conversation. “What the hell did you do, Jisung?”

Jisung winced. Jaemin rarely swore around him, much less directly at him. He knew he fucked up, and his friends could see the defeat in his eyes. The tension in the air thickened as Jisung’s mouth parched, unable to find the right words that could give a single reasonable explanation as to why he chose to do what he did.

“I fucked up,” he croaked plainly, running his hand hurriedly through his hair. “I hurt (Y/N).”

Jaemin’s hand balled up as he narrowed his eyes. He cared for you a lot — all the boys did. They loved you like their own sister. Jaemin’s expression softened at the sight of the youngest’s agony but he remained stern. “What did you do, Jisung?”

“(Y/N) and I.. we were supposed to go to the movies together today. But I never showed up.” Jisung’s knees felt like giving out. “I didn’t think she would actually be that upset that I didn’t show up! I-I thought she would just call someone else to watch it with her, or something. I didn’t she would blow up at me...”

“How could you not expect her to blow up at you when you literally stood her up?” Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows in disbelief. Jisung bit his lip in reluctance and the other boys frowned. Jisung was usually rational, and thought about his actions before he did anything. They didn’t understand what had led him to do this.

“Why did you flake on her?” Renjun asked quietly. Jisung averted his eyes, looking down at the floor. “I don’t know. I just felt like it.”

Donghyuck scoffed, “That’s such bullshit and you know it.”

Chenle’s frown deepened. Seeing his closest friend trying to deflect the truth was so unusual. He tried to piece it together, hitting the nail on the head with a simple question.

“Don’t you like her?”

Jisung’s heart twisted into knots. “What? O-Of course I do, she’s my friend.”

“No, of course you like her Jisung, we all do. I’m asking if you like her.”

A pause hung in the air as they all patiently waited for his answer (despite the obvious.)

“Y-Yeah. I do. I like her so much, guys. And I freaking messed up.” He confessed, choking up as tears prickled his eyes. “I was scared. We planned this last week while we were studying, and I thought she was joking about it being a movie date but she was actually serious and kept bringing it up.”

“That’s a good thing though, isn’t it? You could’ve made a move on her.” Donghyuck pointed out in slight disbelief.

“I know, but I got scared! I thought.. what if she didn’t like me back, and I was taking this the wrong way? I didn’t want to make the next step and embarrass myself when— if she rejected me. I knew it was childish of me to try and be cool and play it off, but… I don't know. I-I really just thought she could do better...” Jisung buried his head into his hands, his shame and insecurities washing over him. “Mark just came back into town too, and I always thought he was a better match for her than me.”

He sucked in his breath, lips quivering. “I.. I told myself that if I just chickened out then she would replace me with him or something. So it didn’t matter if I went or not.”

“(Y/N) would never do that and you know that! It’s so obvious she likes you back,” Chenle couldn’t help but grow frustrated at how unreasonable Jisung was being with the whole situation. How could he possibly even think like that?

Jaemin inhales deeply, shaking his head in disapproval. “If you really liked her back, then you would’ve thought about how your actions would have affected her and how she would’ve reacted.”

Jisung lifts his head up, eyes bloodshot as tears drip down his face. “Guys, I fucked up. I hurt her feelings and—” His breath hitched, “S-she told me that I could go play whatever games I wanted as long as they weren’t with her! I didn’t mean to make her feel like she was just someone I used to pass time or she was a game!”

“Jisung, of course she would think that way! You can’t just mess around with her feelings like that. You ditched her without even giving her a plausible reason or heads up, and you argued with her and said that we mattered more than she did, even though we’re all friends!” Jaemin huffed exasperatedly.

He pauses to catch his breath, almost sobbing at this point. “I don’t know how to fix this. What if she never forgives me?”

“I’m so disappointed in you, Jisung. How do you expect her to forgive you?” Jaemin suddenly stands up, throwing his hands up in frustration.

Everyone’s eyes widened at Jaemin’s irritated tone. He rarely ever scolded Jisung, always showering the younger boy in love and affection. He even treated him like his little brother. Jisung's mouth hung agape at Jaemin’s harsh words. He knew he deserved it, but it stung even more coming from Jaemin.

Jaemin scowled before turning his back and storming out of the room. Everyone froze, stunned.

Jeno was the first to react. “I’ll go talk to him,” he said before stepping outside of the room.

The rest of the boys turned to Jisung who was flopped on the floor, his usually tall stature curling into a tiny ball like a small child. Chenle sighed before getting up to rub Jisung’s back comfortingly.

“You made a big mistake,” Renjun says bluntly from his spot.

“But so does everyone. Everyone has their insecurities, Jisung. You’re still growing so you still have an opportunity to learn from them so you don’t make the same ones again. But it’s a fleeting opportunity so don’t take it for other’s kindness for granted. You owe her an apology, and if you’re sincere enough, she’ll at least hear you out. You know how (Y/N) is — she’s a very understanding person.”

Chenle and Donghyuck nod their head in agreement. “We’ve all made mistakes before. It’s a part of life.” Chenle adds.

Jisung weakly mumbles a thank you, wiping the tears from his swollen face. The boys all give him a pat on the back and a tight-lipped smile. As much as they agreed that what he did was wrong, he was still their brother. It was their job to be there for him, to support him and guide him along the path even if he made mistakes.

Jeno popped in from the doorway. “We’re going to go clean up for dinner. We’ll call you down when the food is ready.” The boys all begin to shuffle out, leaving Jisung alone with his thoughts.

He feels such agonizing frustration, but he knows that he has no one else to blame but himself. He was the sole reason you had been hurt. It was his fault, his actions, that caused you pain. At the sound of your sobs replaying through his head, he squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his hands so hard that his dull fingernails pierce the skin of his palms, leaving painful indents.

However, Jisung’s head snapped up as the door creaked open again. Jaemin's eyes softened as he took a seat next to Jisung.

“I’m sorry,“ Jisung mumbles, “I really hurt her even though I swear, I never meant to. You can be mad at me. I deserve it.”

Jaemin sighs before ruffling the younger’s head. “No, Jisung. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“I really care about both of you and I know you understand what you did was wrong. It really did hurt her, but she really likes you, you know. A lot more than you think.” Jaemin murmurs.

Jisung didn’t have the heart to tell Jaemin he didn’t actually know.

Although Jisung would always jokingly fight back against the older’s hugs when he would be the one initiating hugs and coddling him, this time, Jisung’s body relaxes as he lets the older boy wrap his arms around him.

“Thanks, Jaemin.” He sniffles. The older boy can only pull him in closer.

∞

He had a lot of work to do. Jisung sighs, leaning back in his chair before scribbling “Mission: Make it up to (Y/N)” on a piece of scratch paper. He scrutinized the blank page before groaning and crumpling it up in frustration.

Jisung facepalms the table with an astounding thud, earning a yelp from across him. “What the heck, Park Jisung! Are you trying to get a concussion?” Donghyuck screeched. The chocolate milk from his bowl of Fruity Pebbles cereal sloshes onto the surface of the table and into his lap.

“Sorry!” Jisung mutters. His older brother glares at him while furiously wiping his lap with napkins. “I just can’t think of how to get (Y/N) to forgive me. I suck at all this romantic gesture crap.”

Donghyuck wails, “Doesn’t mean you can just freaking slam your head into the table! What did the table ever do to you? Also now my favorite sweat-shorts are stained.”

Renjun walks by the kitchen and rolls his eyes in disgust. “First of all, who the hell eats fruity cereal with chocolate milk— you heathen. You deserved it.”

Donghyuck flicks his middle finger at Renjun’s back as Chenle bursts out in his iconic dolphin laughter.

“Jisung, if you get a concussion in this kitchen or break the table with that empty skull of yours, Jaemin is going to break your skull. And you know (Y/N) the best, don’t you? Use your remaining brain cells,” Renjun tutted with a pointed look.

Jisung nods but whispers something about there being only one brain cell in this whole damn house under his breath.

“Yeah, I know— ‘cause it belongs to me.”

Everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes at Renjun.

Jeno sits in front of the TV, fervently smashing buttons. His eyes never break away from the screen yet he manages to pipe up. “Why don’t you start by figuring out a list of what she likes?”

Jisung’s ears perk up at the suggestion. “That’s a great idea Jeno!” However, his excitement quickly turns into a huff of exasperation. “But (Y/N) likes so many things… Anime, ice cream, watching me dance, fangirling over —”

“Me, of course!” Hyuck singsongs with a cocky smirk.

The crumpled ball of paper smacks him dead in the nose. “Ow!”

“Wait, I know!” Jisung shouts enthusiastically as an idea pops into his head. The boys all turn to look at him. “She loves the cake from the bakery down the street!”

“Ah, Neo Bakery? The one with cherry bombs and puzzle piece cookies?” Jaemin asks.

Jisung nods, flashing his smile for the first time in days. “Yeah! Can we go right now? Please?”

“I don’t see why not,” Jaemin grins. All the boys shrug in agreement, and begin grabbing their jackets and shoes. Even Jeno leaves his game to join. But before they knew it, Jisung had dashed out the door, his sneakers barely on. “Meet you there!” He called out.

They all share a look and collectively sigh.

“He’s so whipped.”

“Yep.”

∞

By the time they had caught up to Jisung, they had found him standing in front of the quaint shoppe pacing back and forth like a lost child. Chenle shoulder-bumps him, causing him to stop in his tracks. “What the heck are you doing?”

“I didn’t want to go inside alone… It looks kind of empty,” He says sheepishly.

“Oh my god, you big baby, just go in and—” Donghyuck froze as the door he had pulled causes him to lurch forward. He tries to open the door again, but to no avail. It hadn’t budged.

Jisung runs up to the window, squishing his face against the cold glass to peer intently inside. It was empty.

“Guys,” Jeno whistled. They whirl their head in his direction. Renjun holds up a paper with the words “CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE” emblazoned in bold letters across the page. “You have got to be kidding me,” Jisung bemoans, accidentally hitting his head against the glass window in the process. He winces and rubs his reddening forehead.

“Keep that up and you’re going to lose all your brain cells before you even get a chance to speak to (Y/N),” Chenle snorts. Jisung’s nose scrunches up at his best friends and he turns to face everyone else. “Now what am I going to do?” He whines.

“I mean, are there any other places that she’d like?” asked Renjun.

Jisung shakes his head. “No, just that place. She really likes their strawberry cream cake.”

Jaemin wrinkles his nose at the mention of strawberry before he exclaims, “Ah! I got it!” A mischievous glint appears in his eyes. “Jeno, don’t you have Doyoung’s number?” Jeno stares at him quizzically before letting out a sound of realization and nodding. He quickly gets out his phone and scrolls until he finds the right contact while everyone else’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “We’re going to go to the supermarket now, let’s go Jisungie.” Jaemin beams proudly.

“What are you talking about? The supermarket? For what?”

“I got it!” Jeno announces, grinning before shoving his phone into Jisung’s ginormous hands. Jisung fumbles with it for a bit, earning a glare from Jeno. He gives an apologetic grin before looking down to read the screen.

“Woah, what? How’d you get the recipe!?” He exclaimed. Jeno shrugs yet doesn’t bother to hide his eye-smile. “I’m friends with Doyoung. He works there part-time as one of the bakers and he owes me a favor.”

“Wait, are we going to the supermarket to buy all the ingredients?” Jisung parrots bewilderedly. Chenle rolls his eyes and smacks his best friend upside the head, “Yes, you idiot. Now can we go? I’m starving too.”

Jisung’s smile ear to ear as they all make their way down the street. He was so lucky to have them.

∞

After a chaotic trip to the supermarket which had resulted in Renjun chasing down Hyuck in attempt to murder the cheeky boy for yet again trying to steal his order of pork cutlet “by accident,” and Chenle trying to find his favorite Chinese ramen in the wrong aisle for a good 20 minutes, they had managed to get back home in one piece without getting kicked out by the manager again. (Everyone had blamed it on Jisung for accidentally knocking over the entire tower of cans on one of the tables, but he thought it was a stupid idea to even display cans in such a fashion. It wasn’t like it was one of Renjun’s weird art competitions or whatever.)

With the help of Jaemin and Jeno who both surprisingly had not fallen into the chaos, they had successfully checked off their shopping list.

“Now, we should measure out the ingredients first and then add it in so it makes it a lot quicker and easier,” Jaemin chastises as he puts on his apron. He turned around only to be met with the sight of Jisung coughing in the midst of a cloud of dust, desperately trying to wipe the cake flour that he had accidentally spilled everywhere off his black shirt.

“Park Jisung, I banned you from the goddamn kitchen for a reason but please, for the sake of (Y/N), get it together!”

Jaemin facepalmed. This was going to be a long ass ride afternoon.

∞

Cake was probably the most difficult thing Jisung has ever attempted to make in his life.“Why is this so hard? It’s just cake!” He stares at the gloppy mixture in front of him, lifting up the whisk only to be met with the sight of chunks of things he wasn’t even sure belonged in a cake.

First, it was the struggle with just simply washing strawberries. Jaemin had looked away for a single second and nearly went haywire when he saw what the younger boy was about to do.

Jisung had moved the strawberries into a bowl in the sink, running water and had just grabbed the container of green liquid when—

“Nooooooo! No!” screeched Jaemin. He smacked Jisung on the leg and scolded him with an incredulous look. “You don’t wash strawberries with dish soap, you idiot! Are you crazy!?”

Jisung shot him a puzzled look. “Wait, you don’t?”

With the self-restraint of every fiber in his body, Jaemin forced himself to not strangle the other boy.

Then it was this. Jaemin should’ve known it was a horrible idea to try and even think about letting Jisung do this alone, but the boy had begged about about how he needed to prove himself to you and he needed all the credit. He pinched the bridge of his nose and left to go drag someone else in to help.

Jisung was perpetually frozen in his spot, his jaw still hung open. His brain was short-circuiting at this point. If he had followed all the instructions, how did it end up like this?

“You both are idiots,” Renjun shook his head, glaring at Jaemin who had dragged him away in the middle of a Moomin marathon and Jisung who was still blinking confusedly at the whisk in his hand.

“Please, Injunnie,” Jaemin pleaded, pouting with his lips puckered out and puppy-dog eyes. “Do it for (Y/N) and Jisung! We’re all counting on you!“

“Agh, fine.” Renjun rolled his eyes before going through the recipe once again.

“Oi, Park Jisung! Snap out of it!”

“Huh, wha—?”

Renjun grabbed the whisk from him. He stares at the horrific mixture of what was definitely not cake batter and wrinkles his nose in disgust. “What the hell did you do?” He demands.

Jisung gives him a blank stare. Renjun examines the ingredients on the table and nearly faints.

“Jisung, this recipe says baking powder, not baking soda. And it says cake flour, you blockhead, not bread flour! Why do we even have bread flour!?”

“Actually, it’s because of Hyuck’s carb obsession,” Jaemin answers.

He immediately holds Renjun back from running off to fight the mentioned boy.

Jisung chortled, “Renjun, you’re the best!“

Renjun cuts him off by locking the taller boy in a loving chokehold and laughs. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Now help me would ya?”

∞

After about five hours of continuous screaming and threats of burning down the kitchen or someone’s hair (which may or may not be all by the hands of Renjun), they managed to successfully bake the cake. Jisung collapses on the couch besides his friends, finally giving his strained muscles a break from the hardcore struggle of baking. “Who knew baking was this hard?” Donghyuck teases the tired trio on the couch. Chenle laughs in delight at their suffering, and they all shoot him a dirty look. While they rest, Jeno begins cleaning the mess in the kitchen. “It looks like a goddamn tornado flew in here,” He mutters.

“My poor kitchen,” Jaemin weeps. He turns his head to pinch Jisung’s cheeks, “Ahhhh, the things I do for you and true love, my precious Jisungie.”

Jisung groans and slaps his hand away. Donghyuck and Chenle begin helping Jeno clean the mess as well. Just as they finish, the timer for the oven goes off.

Jisung sighs before getting up. “I’ll get it.” In his exhausted daze, he opens the oven and reaches out for the hot pan before —

“Ow, fuck!” He swears, retracting his now throbbing hand. “Language!” Jaemin scolds from his seat. Chenle rushes over, inspecting his hand. “Dude, are you okay?”

Jisung winces at the pain and mumbles, “I forgot the mitt.”

Jeno walks over and chides, “Go run it under cool water.” Jaemin and Renjun turned their heads from the couch. “Are you okay, ‘Sung?” Jaemin asks worriedly. Jisung nods weakly in response.

“We have burn salve, and I’ll help you bandage it afterwards,” Jeno grabs the burn salve from the cabinet and gently applies the salve to Jisung’s hand, who flinches even with the light pressure. “Chenle, can you get the cake?“ Jeno asks.

“I got it,” he reassures, skillfully taking the cake out with a mitt and closing the oven.

“Thanks,” Jisung then frowns at the white bandage wrapped around his palm. Y/N is probably going to freak if she sees this, he thinks to himself.

Despite the pain from his throbbing hand, the boys worked together to finish decorating the cake and celebrated by enjoying some of it as well. Surprisingly despite their clumsiness, it had turned out almost identical to the one from the bakery and didn’t taste bad at all. Now all Jisung had to do was just wait until he saw you tomorrow.

As he laid there in bed that night, he felt the gaping hole in his chest that had been masked by his chaotic day. He was missing something in his life the past couple of days. A hole in the shape of you. He felt like kicking something suddenly. Like himself. How could be so foolish as to push you away because of his own insecurities? You didn’t deserve a fool like him. The lump in his throat grew.

He closed his eyes tightly that night and sent a silent prayer up into the sky before he slept. Please give me another chance to love her. To make her happy.

∞

To say that Jisung was nervous, would be a great understatement. His entire livelihood depended on this. Well, maybe not livelihood but still. He didn’t know what he would do if you didn’t at least hear him out. He had trouble sleeping last night, his doubts and worries consuming him. The boys hadn’t questioned him this morning when they saw the bags under his eyes, yet still voiced their concerns only to be brushed off with a weak smile. This was what he deserved. And now he had to do what he must in order to earn your forgiveness. He had carefully wrapped the slice of strawberry cream cake in a box, with a red bow on top. He was never really one who was good at expressing his emotions through words, much less cheesy romantic gestures like this but he had practiced his apology at least a hundred times in front of his mirror the past few days. All he had to do now was just simply tell you it. Face to face.

His stomach churned as the memory of your cries and bitter words surfaced again. He shook his head in order to try and rid himself of those thoughts, which Chenle had noticed. He gave an encouraging pat to his friend’s back and murmured a soft “Hey, it’ll be okay.”

Jisung’s face twisted in slight anguish. “I don’t know, Lele…” He sighed. “I’m really scared. I really don’t know what I’d do if she doesn’t forgive me. I don’t even know if I really deserve another chance after what I did and said.”

“Jisung, she loves you a lot and you love her too. It would be foolish to say that you’d never hurt her but you need to prove that you won’t ever try and do it again. Just try your best and know that if she hears how sincere you are and see that you’re trying to learn from your mistakes, then you shouldn’t take that for granted ever again.” Chenle reassures.

Jisung smiles sadly before a look of determination replaces it. “Thanks, Chenle. It means a lot.”

Chenle smiles. “Any time, bro.”

∞

By the time lunch rolled around, Jisung felt like a shit ton of bricks had hit him. Usually, he would’ve seen you in the morning but you were nowhere to be found. He hadn't seen you in the halls or anywhere else at all, and worry was eating him up. Where in the world were you?

He took a seat besides his friends who all shot him a look of concern. “What’s wrong now?” Donghyuck questions gently. He hated seeing his youngest brother down in the dumps and although it was supposed to be resolved today, Jisung only looked more worn out.

“I haven't seen her at all today. Do you think she’s purposefully avoiding me?” Jisung feels his heart breaking even more at the possibility that you hated him to the point where you wouldn’t even want to see his face. His head drops in remorse.

“I don’t know,” Hyuck begrudgingly admits, “But don’t you have class with her?”

“Just some. But she was absent today. Usually I see her between classes as well and I haven’t seen her at all. What if she’s sick or she’s skipping class just to avoid me?”

“I doubt (Y/N) would ever skip class just for that reason… but you should just wait until class,” Renjun suggests. Jisung nods in disappointment, his expression resembling one of a kicked puppy. The boys exchange a look of pity and they eat their lunch quietly.

They could only hope for the best.

∞

Jisung mopes for the remainder of the day, feeling nothing but pure despair for his current situation. By the time the last class rolled around, he had basically given up on even seeing you today or even ever again for that matter. He stares at the dainty bag he prepared for you in deep regret before a familiar figure passes by him. (Y/N)?

His head snaps up so quickly he’s sure he almost gave himself whiplash.

It was you. You were here. You were here!

Relief washes throughout his body. His eyes followed you as you walked to your seat, yet he feels his body tense when you don’t even bother to glance back. You hadn’t spared him a single look since you had gotten to your desk but you could feel his stare burn holes into the back of your head. You didn’t actually know since you hadn’t looked at him since before this weekend but you had a gut feeling.

Still, you were stubborn and refused to turn around and give that jerk the satisfaction of attaining your precious attention.

It wasn’t fair of him to do that when he was the one who had hurt you. He was the one who had promised you his time, yet ended up treating you as if you were disposable — something he’d throw away once he had something better to do. You weren’t his priority.

You had basically spent all weekend curled up in your room sobbing into Mark’s arms. He had picked you up from the movie theater that fateful day and consoled you until the wee hours of night, patiently listening to you rant and bawl your heart out over a stupid, stupid boy. You felt so guilty since he had just come back into town and instead of spending time catching up, he had kept you company as you binge-watched sad movies to wallow in your heartbreak over a certain idiot by the name of Park Jisung.

(“I’m sorry Mark,” you blubbered as you cling onto his figure. He sighed as he rubbed your back soothingly, hoping to calm down your tears. You mumbled into his tear-stained shirt, “I didn’t expect you to come back and for this to happen. I ruined your weekend, didn’t I?”

“Well.. you might’ve,” He said, causing you to immediately sit and look at him with watery eyes and quivering lips. You opened your mouth to cry out even more but he stopped you. “Wait—I was kidding. Sort of but not really.. but it’s okay (Y/N)! I just don’t want you to see you cry anymore.” Through your watery eyes and sniffles, you managed to smack him weakly against his chest. He gave you a tight-lipped smile before softly pulling you into his embrace, tracing circles into your back as you melted into his arms and lulled yourself into a deep, painless slumber.

Mark slowly moved his head to look down at your forlorn figure, a peaceful expression upon your features despite the fresh tears still dripping down your face. He gently wiped the tears from your face with the pad of his thumb, his heartbeat thumping so loudly that he worried it would wake you. He felt like his heart was tearing in half — from how painfully heartbroken you were, and how ironically sad this situation was. “I’ll always be here by your side,” Mark whispers to the air, knowing you had already drifted into dreamland. His heart ached. After all, he knew you would never see him the same way you saw Jisung. And he had to live with that.)

You had spent the next few nights with Mark, ugly crying yourself to sleep in his arms until the tears ran out. Asking the skies how could he could just cut you out of his life just like that? Drop you with the lame excuse that his friends were first. Did he not feel any remorse for what he did?

Stupid jerk. He didn’t deserve any more of my goddamn time or attention. No more shedding any tears. No more self-pity, you thought to yourself. You didn’t need Park Jisung in your life. You didn’t need to waste your breath holding onto what your friendship once was, what your feelings once were. You were sure of it. You had tried to convince yourself so, anyways.

You wanted to burn every trace of Park Jisung from your life, yet Mark had persuaded you not to, quietly murmuring about how you would regret it more than Jisung would soon regret his actions. You found that hard to believe but after all he had done to stay by your side, you relented to his wishes.

The time had dragged on by agonizingly slowly. It felt like Jisung was stuck in time for what felt like a million damn years. His anxiousness increased as the class went on. You were actually here! He wondered why you hadn’t showed up for your earlier classes but he thanked the heavens that at least you were here now. Yet he couldn’t help but feel more on edge.

He swallowed thickly, tapping his pencil annoyingly and fidgeting in his seat. His eyes paid more attention to the ticking of the hands of the clock than the boring teacher droning on and on about today’s lesson.

Finally, the bell rings signaling the end of class. Jisung jumps out of his desk and grabs his backpack in one hand and the bag in another, dashing outside like his life depended on it. You catch a glimpse of his escaping figure, and scowl. Did he really not want to be in the same space as you? Was it that painful for him to have you to be in his life? You felt a lump grow in your throat. A part of you had naively hoped that maybe, just maybe he would confront you and apologize. Not that you’d forgive him, or anything but… You bite your lip. He really dashed out the door just like that. You swallow the tears threatening to spill and trudge out of the room with a grim shadow cast upon your face.

You walk outside and begrudgingly scan the groups of students dispersing, searching for his face despite your internal protests. You couldn’t help it. However, by the time you reach the steps of the school, he’s nowhere to be found.

“You look like your cat just died.” You turn around to see Na Jaemin leaning against the brick wall with his signature sweet smile painted on his face. You pout and remember that he’s still Jisung’s friend. Your pout quickly turns into a scowl, and as if reading your mind — he kindly says, “I’m still your friend (Y/N). Nothing will ever change that.”

Your walls drop and he gently nudged your shoulder, cocking his head towards the doors so you both head out. “I hope Bongshik didn’t actually die, or else Jeno would be devastated,” Jaemin remarks. Your shoulders droop and you shake your head. As you walk with him, he takes a turn into the courtyard and you follow him despite the unfamiliar path.

“I know what happened between both of you,” he breathes airily. You wince at the mention of the fall-out. You hadn’t really wanted other people to know yet you guessed it was inevitable. “I know you probably hate him, but I know it’ll be okay. “

You remain quiet, unable to form a coherent sentence when your mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts of Jisung, bringing back the pain clawing inside your chest. You bite your lip. “How can you be so sure about that?” You mutter bitterly.

As you stare at the fallen cherry blossoms littered all across the pavement, you don’t realize that Jaemin had stopped. You freeze, and look up only to lock your gaze with the deep chocolate orbs of the one person you had been avoiding all day.

His eyes darted around your face searching for any telltale signs of how you felt — yet your face was only void of any emotions besides shock. Your jaw drops as you immediately turn to leave. “Wait, (Y/N), please! I’m sorry, please don’t leave— please! Just hear me out.”

You halt in your footsteps, cursing yourself for being foolish enough to even listen to him. Your heart betrayed your mind. You turned around and glared at Jaemin for even getting you in this situation — yet his eyes simply gazed with intent, almost lulling you towards Jisung again. He raises his eyebrows in anticipation and tilts his head towards the other boy. You sigh in resignation at his silent command and then turn around to fully face Jisung.

“What could you possibly say that would make me want to stay?”

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Jaemin says quietly before walking away. Your eyes widen as you realize that you would have to deal with this alone. You open your mouth to protest.

“Wait, (Y/N), please — I just need to tell you something and then you can decide whether or not I’m worth any more of your time,” Jisung interrupts, pleading with his entire soul.

Your eyes flicker to him.

He had never looked so broken.

“I thought I wasn’t worth any of your time,” You say quietly, remembering his harsh words from the other day.

Jisung’s expression drops yet he knows he can’t stay quiet anymore. “No, that’s not true,” He says firmly. “You’re worth all the time in the world.”

You can feel your heart beating out of your chest now, and wonder if he can hear it despite the mere steps that distance you away from one another.

Jisung’s nose scrunches up, and you want to laugh at his cute habit of wrinkling his nose in distaste whenever he’s disappointed that something doesn’t go his way, even despite the grave situation. He inhaled sharply before continuing. “I’m so so sorry for what I said the other day. It was the most hurtful thing I’ve ever said to anyone and I’m so disappointed in myself for hurting you. I never meant to.” He bites his lip and you stare at him. His hands fidget but remain behind his back.

“I-I like you, (Y/N). A lot. M-Maybe even love you but either way! It doesn’t excuse what I did. I shouldn’t have stood you up, but I was stupid, and foolish and the biggest idiot in the world because I was scared. When you first brought up going to the movies together, I was so happy. This is going to sound so damn cheesy and I hate cheesy, but my heart literally soared. I’m still surprised you didn’t notice how red I was,” He admitted.

You stared at him in shock. Park Jisung liked you. Even loved you. He loved you back.

“I didn’t shut up about it to the boys. But then I kept thinking. What if you didn’t mean it like an actual date and I was taking it the wrong way? I was honestly terrified. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by making the next move even though everyone told me you felt the same way. I over thought it and then decided that I didn’t want to look like an idiot, so I had to be really chill about it in front of you, so I wouldn’t embarrass myself if you didn’t feel the same way. I didn’t want you to know how excited I was because I thought I would look desperate, or something.”

“I let my insecurities get the best of me and god, when I heard that Mark Lee was coming back, I literally felt like I had no chance. I mean, you’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever known and I mean it (Y/N). Y-You…,” He pauses and takes a breath, forcing himself to make eye contact with you. “You deserve the world and I really want to be the one to make you happy because it makes me so happy every time you laugh because of me tripping over air or you wake me up when I fall asleep during our study dates — I mean hangouts. And when I get to hold your hand and doodle all over your arms—” He rambles on. “I was dumb enough to take your time for granted and not consider your feelings. But I want to do better for you. I regret what I did and I want to turn back time to fix it, but I know I can’t so… I promise I won’t make this same mistake again.” His ears turn red and your heart can’t help but swell at his words, despite your mind’s screaming.

“But I didn’t think I was good enough or anything like Mark, who’s a lot funnier and older and smarter. I thought he would be better for you.” You want to open your mouth to protest but he continues.

“But I don’t want to be scared anymore! I don’t want to live life regretting what I did. You’re the most important person in my life (Y/N), and I know I hurt you a lot because I was scared to let you see all of me and tell you how I really felt, but I want to be better and learn from my mistakes. I don’t ever want to hurt you again and I can’t promise you I won’t, because I’m a big idiot who’s still growing, and I know I make a lot of mistakes... but I want to be your big idiot who will apologize and grow from them. I would do whatever it takes to make you happy as long as we’re happy together.”

You found yourself on a rollercoaster of emotions. You bite your lip, trying to hold back the growing smile and tears threatening to burst.

Taking your hesitation as a rejection, Jisung looks down dejectedly before revealing the bag in his hand. “H-Here,” he struggles to keep his voice from breaking, just like his heart, “I… wanted to buy you your favorite cake from Neo Bakery but it was closed so I tried to bake it myself… I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore but please just take it. It’s for you.”

Your eyes widen as you also notice his bandaged hand and the way he winces when he grips the straps of the bag tighter. You put two and two together and take the bag. You set it delicately down on the ground before rushing to embrace him.

Jisung stumbles back a little but manages to catch his balance as you wrap your arms around him. “You stupid idiot,” you mumble into his shirt, tears welling up. “Look at how cliche this is. You know how much I hate cheesy cliches.”

Jisung stiffens before he relaxes his body to hug you back even tighter. “I can’t believe you burned yourself baking a cake for me. How dumb are you? And I can’t believe Jaemin let you in the kitchen in the first place.” You say incredulously.

He lets out a laugh at your response and strokes your hair gently. “I know,” he says softly as he closes his eyes and relishes in your warmth. You loosen your grip around his torso and step back to gaze up at him. “I can’t believe you at all. What you did really hurt me and I almost burned all your hoodies” Jisung’s eyes widened in horror at your statement. You snigger slightly. “But I didn’t. Thanks to Mark, by the way.”

“It’s okay to be insecure and have your doubts and I know we all make mistakes but please, don’t shut me out and leave me hanging like that next time. We’re friends and friends don’t do that to each other. I accept your apology — only because I know how hard you must’ve worked to bake the cake with your stupid noodle limbs and incompetent cooking skills.”

“Hey!” Jisung pouts at your words and you reach up to pinch his cheeks as you laugh. He melts at your touch and a gummy smile emerges. “But if you couldn’t tell, I really like you too. Maybe even love you,” You inhale at your own words and avert your eyes. “But if you want to make the next move then we have to work on conquering our fears… Together.” You admit earnestly, a look of determination in your eyes.

Jisung can’t help but grin even harder as his heartbeat skyrockets. Happiness overflows through every part of his body. “Thank God,” He says, pulling you in for another tight embrace. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

You both revel in each other’s arms for a while longer as the breeze gently blows against your figure. You look up at him, with the sunset shining upon his skin. His sparkling eyes gaze intently into yours before he leans down a little and your breath hitches. He pauses for a moment before his lips brush hesitantly against yours, and although you don’t feel fireworks erupt or an intense rush of euphoria, you know that this felt just right. Your noses barely brush against each other’s and your eyes flutter shut, feeling his lashes tickle lightly against your skin. He’s so glad your eyes are closed so you don’t see his cheeks dusted with a rosy pink. You slot your lips against his more, the awkwardness fading away, and tip toe to wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls you in deeper.

He lets go first but smoothly slips his large hand into yours, fitting almost perfectly. His ears burn with embarrassment and you can feel yourself turn hot and blush fervently. Jisung scratches his neck trying to hide the fact that wow, for a kid who was considered shy — that really just happened.

“You’re not off the hook yet, Park Jisung! You still have a lot of groveling to do. Just because I love you doesn’t mean you’re forgiven, you big baby!” You announce to diffuse the awkwardness.

He smiles bashfully, “It’s okay. As long as I’m your big baby.” He leans down to grab the bag with his other hand and you blush even harder at the confidence brimming from his words. “Shall we go taste test my amazing cake?” He jokes.

You smack him and scoff, “There’s no damn way you were able to make this by yourself! Who helped you?”

He sticks his tongue out. “You’ll never figure it out.” You roll your eyes and laugh as you walk together, fingers still intertwined.

Maybe it was foolish of you to want to believe that Park Jisung wasn’t just simply a passing cloud or fleeting moment in your life. But you had hope. Hope that instead, he was the gentle breeze that tickled your nose and the warm sunshine that kissed your face on the warm summer days where you both had spent chasing each other until your lungs hurt. Or perhaps, his existence was embodied in the petals of the cherry blossom tree in the courtyard that bloomed every spring, carved with initials of young love that you had just ironically and cheesily enough, just experienced your first love underneath. You weren’t sure if Park Jisung’s existence was fleeting in itself or that the idea of forever actually existed, but you knew he himself was just there throughout every step of the way, and as much as the moments passed by and the memories faded, you could feel his love with the passing of every second.

And most importantly, you knew that Park Jisung still had your heart at the end of the day, and even if he dropped it, he would do everything in his power to put together the pieces even if it meant opening up a part of his heart that he had kept hidden away for so long and giving it to you. And at that moment, that was the only forever you needed.

author’s note: i sincerely hope you enjoyed this sequel hehe i worked really hard on this and it’s the longest story i’ve ever written! spoiler alert: there will be an epilogue/spin-off with mark in the making <33 please keep an eye out for that in the future hehe. special thanks to @neocitybynight @j-woosderland @gohyuck and @neostains for reading this beforehand!

taglist: @bumblebeenct @mjlkau @yongiefilms @neo-cultures @sugarsicheng @thenctaddict @soleilhyuck @ainabaina @heyy-sicheng @sunflowerhae

#neowritingsnet #kwritersworldnet #nct-writers #jisung scenarios #jisung x reader #park jisung scenarios #park jisung angst #park jisung #nct jisung #nct dream scenarios #nct dream angst #jisung angst #nct scenarios #nct angst #leyna writes #nct dream imagines #park jisung imagines

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itad · 6 years ago

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Tonight’s The Night! (part9) TheDirt! TommyXReader

Summary: You have been on tour for almost a year, event after event, mile after mile. Your uncle was Doc the manager of Mötley Crüe, one of your favorite bands. He pulled a few strings and got you on this tour for a late birthday present and for making up the lost time from when you didn’t see him much as a child. As he was one of the only ‘father’ figures you had. Recently found yourself thinking more and more of Tommy. Could you possibly be falling in love with the hopeless romantic? If you were could he possibly feel the same?

tag list: @lauravic @bandzrus @abbysdogcollar

~Hard.~

words: 1590

A/N: Thank you so much for liking the last part

You ended up at dry cleaners picking up Nikki's beloved leather pants that you dropped off when you guys arrived. Then found yourself getting ‘lost’ in Los Angles. It was around 11 you were done with the bar hopping and now we’re back in his car apparently making our way to the last destination. At this point, you were pissed that Nikki or anyone hadn’t said happy birthday. You’ve left hints to Nikki, but you were also tipsy enough to not really care and you giggled so much.

You ended up at an unknown location to find yourself confused as to why Nikki took you here.

“Last place I promised the boys we’d meet up here.”

“Oh okay.” You put in a fake smile.

Nikki opened the door to the ran down shack and everyone yelled ‘Happy Birthday’. Your smile reached up to your ears, or as you were told later. Your eyes wandered around the group of people, stopping at in the horrific face. You’re a mom. Just like Nikki’s family issues, you constantly had new ‘dads’ in and out of your life, she also thought alcoholism and drugs were a good parenting strategy. In fact, it influenced your drug usage and how you drink. She chooses a path of destruction, and you were bound to follow the same path. You did almost every drug the boys got their hands on. Your smile immediately dropped, you now were completely sober and you needed to drink.

Nikki's arm wrapped around your face and his head in your hair, you managed to look in the direction of the circus, not seeing Tommy. But Mick and Vince walked over to you and told you their private ‘Happy Birthdays’ the made their way over to the bar. Another guest also said their private ‘Happy Birthdays’.

Stumbling over to you, your mother ran her hands down from the top of your head to your cheeks. “My sweet, sweet birthday girl.” Her eyes were bloodshot and the bags under eyes told me she was on Heroin. Great. Leave it to her to ruin a day like this.

Your grip on Nikki's ass pocket tightened, as the ‘mom of the year’ intention turned towards the bassist. Her finger traced down from his shoulder didn't even make it down and inches before you grabbed it and pulled it away.

“Don't even think about it mother,”

“Oh Y/N, I'm just playing, and it's not like you would do anything either, your too much of a cu-” and that's all it took to punch her. Oh how it felt good, you've wanted to do it for so fucking long. Now you didn't want to stop, but after a few punches and Nikki getting hit in the balls, he finally grabbed you pulling you to him, as your mother slowly got onto her feet and wiped her nose “That all you got you little bitch. This is why your father left, you.”

“Bitch I was 1 and a half, it was all you and you're a crazy drugged-out ass, get the fuck out of here.” That’s when you felt a stinging sensation on your cheek and Nikki just let go. Now you and the bitch you called a mom was throwing a fist, until she was done and on the floor.

“Get the fuck outta here.”

“Alright alright, I’m leaving.” She picked her self up, she gave you one last look before leaving and hopefully never seeing you again.

Right after that, the party got crazy. I mean cocaine, weed, any type of drug was being passed around. Alcohol was endless. Finally, around 1 o’clock a ‘cake’ rolled around to you, it was more like 21 shots and a candle in the middle. You looked at Nikki who was smirking at you, then to Vince and Mick that also was smirking back at you while everyone sang ‘Happy Birthday’ after the last chorus finished you grabbed your first shot, spilling the liquid down your throat, then on to the next 20. Setting the last cup on the tray they once we're on, the crowd of friends screamed and hoorayed Nikki laughing in your ear as his arms once again wrapped around your waist. Now it was time for the real cake, once again everyone started singing happy birthday, Nikki was singing it into your ear. After all, was done you blew out the candles and everyone finally got a piece of cake if they wanted. You and Nikki shared a piece, now the music was booming and everyone was drinking, partying, dancing (more like grinding and possibly fucking).

You partied hard.

You pulled Nikki into one of the stalls and attacked his mouth, tugging on hair, ripping clothes.

He really made your birthday wonderful.

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luvd0nghyuck · 6 years ago

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an awaited love♡

it was unlikely to vision the school's bad boy and good girl to date but hey, anything's possible.

it was a daily routine since they were both stressed. y/n, head of the cheer team and library aide before and after school while haechan was the leader of the dreamies and captain of the football team.

you may be curious as to how complete opposites ever crossed paths romantically and it was all from a detention in the library. haechan stole a go cart to drive his friend, chenle to the nearest bathroom during football practice so he can take a shit. which landed haechan right in between the aisles of the book shelves and a game of 21 questions between the both of you since he was bored.

"is it true that you smoke weed and drink alocohol?" i ask.

"yeah... people who has never tried it before always looks down upon it but its not that bad once you try... you want me to burn you out?

"WHAT?" i blurted out accidentally but i realized that this is a library so i slapped my hand over my mouth.

"you do know that it's just the two of us right? the librarian isn't even here." he said as he decides to sit on the floor and place the book on the lowest shelf and absentmindedly i just sit down along with him.

"what do you mean burn me out? what does that even mean?" i ask as curiosity kills the cat but instead of answer back, he smiled like he had a devious plan.

i had the joint my mouth as he was lighting up the other end with his red lighter. as it caught on fire, he blew it out and told me to suck and i did as hard as i could and then he took the joint of my mouth as he saw that i took a hard hit. my eyes were watering and my throat was getting scratchy, itching to cough but he told me before we started that i have to hold in the smoke as long as i can.

"hold it in y/n, don't cough it out yet." he attempted to courage me but for 10 more seconds i had to cough the foreign smoke out of my lungs. as he watched me cough it out, he patted my back and told me to spit it out if i had to since we were hiding on top of the library's roof. as i was collecting the clean air throughout my lungs, he patiently waited for me to calm down and when i did, he asked: "wanna hit it again?"

...

and that was the funny yet confidential start as to how we began to affiliate with each other. before i always admired him from afar but i knew to stay away since he was bad news. but whatever happens, happens and i don't regret meeting haechan at all. that night of his detention, we were stoned to the bone and we discussed everything we could to get to know each other and it was all in one night. we talked about our favorite genre of music to our biggest fears and dreams, our hobbies to our pet peeves, or our future plans and our past.

the more we talked, the more i felt myself getting comfortable with him, and the more i started to admire how his tanned skin looked so beautiful in the sky's sunset. the way his orange dyed hair suited him and brought out his brown eyes. the way his voice was soothing to listen to and made me feel drowsy (or maybe that was just the weed) .

there was a moment where we both stopped talking and let the silence talk for us and let our thoughts roam. i thought about how life and school wasn't as eventful as i thought it was, it was just a routine. wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, go to the library, go to class, go to cheer practice or go to the library then go home to do homework. i realized nobody ever asked me to hang out or invited me to parties or asked me out on dates because i was stuck in a routine. nothing new and no changes. but hanging out with haechan made me see a whole new world.

"hey y/n"

"hmm?"

"i'm glad that i got detention." he said and i just quietly laughed to myself because i knew what he meant.

"and i'm glad you stole that go-cart." he said and his red eyes turned to me and smiled at me.

"you know i like you like this." he stated as he slowly tucked my hair behind my ear and i blushed.

"oh yeah? why?"

"your hair is down. i never see your hair down. your eyes, they're red but i can see that you're genuinely content like you found a peace within yourself." he said truthfully and in all honesty, what he said was accurate. my whole life has always been lived in safety. i never did do anything exciting, most likely because my parents control my life and i'm already given the nickname 'the school's good ice princess'. "i've never really told anyone this but i always admired you from afar." he said as he took another hit from the joint and passed it to me as shock slowly registers within me.

"n-no way." i said while taking the joint from his fingers and taking a hit as he exhaled the smoke.

"oh yes way, i always thought to myself that you were too good for me to ever confess to you. your pretty little self intimated the schools bad boy." he confessed. and that just made me take a second hit as i couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. i kept in the weed induced smoke in my lungs until i felt the need to breathe which was awhile and enough time to think of what to say back.

"i had no idea but i'm kinda mad now cus it's senior year now and i wished you would've confessed to me early because i would've accepted your confession." i truthfully said and i passed the joint back to him but he just began to shake his head.

"naaah you wouldn't date someone like me." he said and i felt a little sad as to why he would say something like that.

"why would you say that? you didn't even know me before." i say, fully facing him only to see he was always sitting towards me.

"no but i knew of you and before i knew you were a straight A student, you always smelled like green apples and shea butter, you didn't like the school's cheeseburgers since it the cheese just looks like cum on top of the burger, and you never used pencils and how you-" i cut him off by softly placing my lips on his because i was starting to get tired of him ramble about me. i tasted weed and the flavor gum we're both chewing awhile ago. but what really snatched my soul was how he reacted back, he kissed me with in undeniable passion as if he waited years for this exact moment and he's trying to tell me that he's in love with me. it was slow but the burning within ourselves was empowering. as we parted, it was like static electricity.

"wow" i said. "that was my first." i said quietly.

"same" he said and i looked at him slowly in disbelief. "what? have you ever heard one rumor of me sleeping around? that's all jaemin, not me." he said seriously and i just chuckled and i couldn't help but kiss him on the cheek. he was overwhelmingly cute.

"what was that for?" he asked.

"for all the years you waited to confess to me." i said and i kissed him on the other cheek once more. "for all the years you admired me from afar." i kissed once more on his forehead. "for all the years you studied me and my natural self." i kissed him chin. "for all the years you thought i was too good for you." i kissed his nose. "for all the years you probably wished for this moment." i kissed his lips. "for all the years we missed out together."

as i pulled back to study his face, his eyes were barely open, hash and undeniably happy from all the love and affection i'm giving him, i just had to laugh until my stomach growled then my mouth watered and tacos came into my mind. then it was his turn to laugh.

"let's get out of here" he said as he slowly got up and brought me up along with him too. i stumbled a little and he caught me in a tight embrace. and cringy me i just had to laugh.

"sorry this is so cliché" while he rolled his eyes and let go of his hold on me and my legs went jelly. only for him to catch me once more. "jerk" i muttered as he laughed and helped me slowly walked out of the library building and into his car. he paid for our tacos and i swear it tasted like heaven.

"damn so you got the munchies huh?" he asked, eyes still red with a smug laugh. i just slowly nodded my head while i slowly enjoyed my taco. he just shaked his head and ate more of his taco but continuing to stare at me. although i was as high as a kite in the sky, i can feel his eyes on my face until i stopped eating to ask him what.

"oh nothing, you're just so beautiful and i'm just glad you decided to be mines." he said as his clean hand rubbed my thigh underneath the table. darn these booth tables, i'm trying to eat, not be sexually aroused. i almost choked on my food and it made him stop.

"oh, are you okay?" he asked and began to pass me the coke. i drank until i stopped choking and nodded my head to show that my gag reflex was fine now.

we finished our tacos and in the car, he asked if i wanted anything else. although i was still hungry, i didn't want to be a burden.

"im fine" i said only for my stomach to growl again.

"okay yeah no, we're going to 7-eleven." he said before putting his keys into the ignition.

as we arrived to the nearest store he told me the exact words "get whatever you want." and five minutes later, i had armful of a big bag of doritos, a pickle, oreos, a coke, kit-kat, and a pint of cookies and cream ice cream. he laughed as i dropped all of the snacks onto the counter and gave the cashier a $20 bill, as he got gum, a slushee, and eye drops. as the lady bagged our items, he told her to keep the change. we walked out with him holding the bags and me opening the door and unlocking the doors as we both got into his lexus.

"i don't know why i'm so hungry. i usually don't eat this much." i said ashamed while opening my bag of chips. he just laughed as he began to exit out of 7-eleven's parking lot.

"when you get high, you can get the munchies. munchies is when you get really hungry and crave for food mostly snacks but you can eat meals too." he said and the information slowly processed into my brain as i munched loudly on my snacks. he gave me a quick glance and laughed again.

"why are you laughing at me?" i ask completely clueless.

"because you're exactly everything i ever wanted and you've never changed over these past years i have admired you." he said and all i can think of was 'oh... so he in love love.' i turned on his radio and my favorite song better by khalid played. and it was like i can hear every beat and instrument and backup vocals playing in the song.

it was only 9 pm and he asked if i needed to go home and i said no since my parents know i usually get home late by bus which angered him a little.

"you're no longer allowed to catch the bus anymore. i will pick you up and drop you off. okay?" he asked as he gripped my thigh and i shakily replied.

"o-okay"

"okay good." and he drove towards the lookout of the entire city.

"why are we here?" i asked.

"you're still high and i just wanna take you home when you're able to walk properly." and i just nodded deciding he was right since my parents would be pissed if they knew i did marijuana.

i munched on my snacks as haechan posted a quick pic of the view from his car and his caption was "nothing feels better than this" since it was the song that was playing and then he posted it on his ig story.

when i finished all of my snacks, i faced the other way to let out a long and loud burp. instead of him being disgusted all he said was "okay first of all, wow that was impressive and second of all i don't know why you're facing the other way, i need some of that talented burp." and began to fan the air towards his face and i laughed out loud as i stopped him from smelling my dinner.

"oh here" he said as he passed me eye drops. i accepted them and began to drop them into my eyes. "do you have perfume by any chance?" he asked me and i nodded my head. "good, spray yourself with that." and i did as told as we began to take our leave from the lookout and back to my neighborhood which is the same neighborhood that he lives in.

we drove into my driveway and i didnt want to leave his car. "as much as i want you to stay with me y/n, you have to go home to your parents or else they will call 911 on your ass." and i nodded my head since he's always right.

"you're right" i said with a sad sigh yet i couldn't help the growing smile on my face as i thought about what i did today with him. "thank you for today. i'm very grateful and i hope we can do this again."

"sure we can do this tomorrow." he said calmly.

"omg are you serious?" i said and he nodded for me to smother him in kisses all over his face.

"thank you! thank you! thank you!" i said and gave him one last kiss on his soft lips, it was similar to the one on the roof except this one was given in a relief type of way. as we pulled away, we were bith breathless.

"i am so whipped for you." and i just giggled before grabbing my things and exiting the car.

"thank you again and get home safely!" i said.

"my house is down the street, i think the worst thing that can happen to me is a speed bump." he said cockily and i just rolled my eyes.

"i don't care just be safe." and he just nodded and smiled.

"okay, okay, go wash up and shower. dont forget to dm me your number before you sleep. okay?"

"okay" i say and smile before biting my bottom lip.

"oh don't do that before i'm about to leave. leaving you is hard enough already." i laugh once again before sending him off for real this time.

"bye haechan"

"okay bye." he said before putting the car into drive and i began to walk up my steps until he honked. "see you tomorrow babes!"

and just like that my heart was stolen.

my parents were in their rooms so i quietly showered and laid in my bed as i texted haechan my number.

he sent me a good night text since it was 11 pm and we both had a busy schedule and i couldn't wait to have our weed date again.

and that's the funny yet fluffy story of how y/n and haechan became the good couple/bad couple.

#haechan #badboy #highschool #au #nctdream #nct #fluff #nct127 #donghyuck #leedonghyuck #goodgirl #weed

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