#cursedwip
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inspired by kitkat @crimeronan's codependency poll, here's a codependency poll of my own, featuring dynamics from my ocs <3
#got too high and too anxious to go to bed. tried to self-soothe with ocs. Thought About Them.#remembered the exact phrase 'you're my painkiller. you're killing me slowly' from kitkat's original post.#decided to categorize my ocs by codependency flavor. decided to share it.#reposted it because it had a typo.#That's My Story. everyone pls reblog and tell me about Your Blorbos. <3#cursedwip#izzy.txt
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You've been tricked you're my test reader for a novel so bad it takes a seminary drop out with brainrot to know how bad it is. I'm not sorry for this prank and I will do it again.
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two shitty vampire girls with unusual powers destabilize the entire political structure of their city in an attempt to secure their autonomy and freedom, where vampirism is an allegory for disability & chronic illness <3
it’s that time again! writers, what are you working on this month? pitch your WIP here 👀
include any links to intros/applicable posts in your reblog & i’ll boost as much as i can!
#there’s medical trauma! there’s mommy issues! there’s gay trans polyamory! there’s violence blood biting killing maiming murder!!#and also LOVE!#my blog is a mess rn but you can find out more about it in this tag:#cursedwip#writing is hard rn and i’ve been working on this one for forever#but they are always in my heart. even when they are not in my word doc.
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cursed iteration one hehe
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i have 3 mutuals named izzy so in my head theyre all roughly sorted into like
ronan izzy
cursed izzy
eidolon izzy
#mcr izzy isnt a useful term bc that catches the first two izzys at least#cursed bc of cursedwip not bc that izzy is especially cursed
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Behold...yasmina 2.0 ✨
Completed
#cursedwips#skdjjd imagine#just imagine if this is what her lips looked like#Sarah said it was literally like 🥴
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having fun on pinterest again 🌹🖤
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no one asked but i'm expanding on the dog years dee post.
dee grew up in an extremely strict environment. her family were public figures and she couldn't leave the house if a single hair on her head was out of place. she had a brother, but they were in constant competition, never close. she had no real friends, because she went to a very small private school and everyone was scared of her and her family.
and also she was dying. when she wasn't at home or at school, she was at the hospital, getting tests run, having new treatments tried on her. she didn't know at the time that she was terminal, but she almost died a lot of times and she knew there was a very good chance she would die very young.
so being kept like a pet, groomed and preened and taken out in limited capacities to trot in front of cameras and then put back in her gilded cage -- it made her furious. she resented every second of it. she knew her life was going to be short, and to spend it like that was intolerable.
and she was unbearably lonely.
her best friend was her family's dog. a chipper yellow lab named 'daisy.' when she was feeling strong, they'd play in the yard together, tumble in the grass and bask in the sun and play catch, where the walls were high enough to not worry about paparazzi. and when dee was too weak to leave her room, daisy would come lay with her. and when dee would lay in the dark, having panic attacks for hours, she'd call for daisy and hide her face in her fur and pet her and hold her until she could breathe again.
in the privacy of her room, or when her family couldn't hear, she'd rename daisy 'fang.' she thought it was funny. she wondered what it would take for a docile, domesticated creature like daisy to bite someone. she dreamed, lots of times, of opening the back gate and letting daisy run away, but she never had the heart to do it.
and then dee was put away. taken to the hospital and never brought home. and she never saw her dog again. she never got to say goodbye. in the years that passed, she knew daisy was too old to still be alive.
and dee kept dying, slowly. all alone. forgotten but to all of two people. and she couldn't lay down in the grass, in the sun. or breathe fresh air. and she became even more horrible. and she knew, even if anyone saw her again someday, she'd look like a monster.
dee doesn't really believe in heaven, or at least, she doesn't believe she's welcome there. but early on, when the loneliness still stung, and she thought she might still have the privilege of actually fully dying, being dead, being done with this purgatory -- she imagined meeting daisy again. seeing her sniffing some grass in a meadow and calling her 'fang' and daisy picking up her head and running toward her, even though dee looked so different now, recognizing her and tackling her over and licking her face and loving her anyway.
#MADE MYSELF CRY WITH THIS ONE. well. okay.#now go reread the lyrics to dog years. and think about her with me.#i've had this in my head for half a decade but there's very little mention of daisy in the book. i gotta fix that.#in my defense i think by the time the story takes place dee has killed off the part of her that thinks about things like this.#but. i think there's a place for these memories. i gotta find the right spots.#izzy.txt#cursedwip
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Adrianna grabbed him by the wrist. His skin wrinkled under her fingers like tissue paper. With just as much integrity, he crumpled to the ground, mouth slivered in the beginnings of a scream.
inspired by @redwing's post
#😈😈😈#i have a computer that works now so that means i can make edits again <3333#adriannnnaaaa i miss youuuuuu#cursedwip#izzy.txt
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hey fellas is it gay to walk in on your girl best friend shaving and oops you startled her so she nicked her chin and so of course you've got to blot the dot of blood off her face but she literally watches your pupils dilate while you do it so she tells you to go ahead and lick it off your finger and you do. is that gay or is that normal.
#i promised yall i would write cursedwip today#and this was not what i meant at the time#but i used up a lot of my mental spoons on irl personal emotional processing today#so. we have a brief contextless scene of adrianna & dee being fuckin deranged.#izzy.txt#cursedwip
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thinking about how adrianna is starving.
she has been living on watered-down black-market blood for years, sometimes going weeks without even that. she can’t acquire better blood without hurting someone.
she hasn’t been touched skin-to-skin in years, often shying away from any touch or closeness at all. she only ever touches someone in the context of hurting them.
she is Desperate to feel fed, to feel connected, to be content or satisfied, to be Not Starving, to feel like a person instead of a hollowed out Thing.
but she is also completely Disgusted by those desires, because fulfilling them comes at the cost of pain and damage and scar tissue.
And Then.
she meets dee.
someone who can touch her. who can feed her. who is also, in many ways, a hungry black hole that can never be satiated. and, maybe most importantly, who does not care at all that adrianna is a thing to be feared. who encourages and empowers her to be everything that she is, even the ugliest parts.
and then every second becomes a struggle for adrianna to keep her mouth off of dee.
#deedrianna forever and ever. amen.#i have no frame of reference for how good cursedwip truly is#like i have no idea how well i have executed on my ideas#but in my head. it is just. so fucking delicious.#izzy.txt#cursedwip
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since i can't properly write for them right now. allow me to talk about them for a moment.
adrianna is a guard dog. before she was a vampire, she was a little kid who was terrified to become a vampire but knew it was inevitable. she didn't know how her power would manifest, how brutal it would be, but she always knew she was destined to become a monster. so when she realized, early on, that being scary could protect the people she loved, she leaned into it. if she was going to become a monster no matter what, she might as well use it to keep her loved ones safe.
and stevie was in such desperate need of protection. he had no one, and he was such an easy target -- he wore his heart and his pain on his sleeve for anyone to see and take advantage of. but maybe most importantly, he wasn't afraid of adrianna, even though she made herself scary, even though she'd become a vampire. he'd grown up in the care of humans who didn't give a shit about him, who had been cruel to him in a hundred ways -- he knew you didn't need fangs or bloodthirst to be a monster, saw no reason those things would make you crueler than anyone else.
and they became such fast friends. he never felt as loved as the first time adrianna punched someone in the nose for him. never felt as safe as when he held her hand in the hallways, daring anyone to step up or say anything.
at least, until they started dating, and then love became having a key to the front door of her house and letting himself in, being called his new name by her whole family; safety became hiding under blankets with her and seeing just how gentle she could be for him underneath all that bark and bite.
and adrianna needed that. she needed someone who wasn't scared of her, who trusted her implicitly; someone to be gentle for.
and then she became a monster, worse than she could've ever imagined. and then her family disappeared out from under her in a matter of weeks. and then all she had left was stevie and her little sister, and the ONLY way left she had to show them she cared for them was to become that guard dog again.
but now it wasn't fighting high school bullies to save stevie from getting shoved in lockers. it was real violence, blood and scars and criminal violations, to save them from separation and starvation.
and stevie still does what he can, to remind her that she's more than the monster. but he can't touch her anymore, can't kiss her, can't hold her. and it's a reminder she's less and less willing to hear every day.
#and that's where the story STARTS. that's the scene we walk INTO.#if anyone actually reads all this i'm kissing you on the face or mouth. or a hug or a handshake. whatever you prefer. ily.#cursedwip#izzy.txt
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when i say i want you all to get weird about cursedwip someday, it is scenes like this that i have in mind:
#a little bit redacted for spoilers. but.#realized upon reread how insane this dialogue is.#can’t wait to make them make out. <3#izzy.txt#cursedwip
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too many flesh suppers / los campesinos!
#i want these lyrics in my tag.#yonks just sent me this song and said ‘cursedwip’ and now i’m obsessed.#cursedwip
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“imply” for the cursedwip game!! and/or “trace”
ooo here's a tiny one that you will be able to appreciate after the dee & adrianna meetcute i sent you the other day <333
Adrianna traced the bruises of the stranger’s fingerprints on her windpipe until she suffocated herself to sleep.
play cursedwip games with me!
#the only use of imply was very spoilery so <3 have this one instead!#thank you liss!!!! i will message u back soon. hugs.#asks#cursedwip
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dee + dog years
#i was showing this song to yonks for a diff OC#but they were like. this is pretty dee. and i'm like. actually you're extremely right.#anyway i woke up with this song in my head and it was making me really sad.#but putting it in dee context is soothing that a little.#once again. iykyk. and nobody here does so just. nod and agree. see my visions.#dee + dog metaphors is always a good time.#izzy.txt#cursedwip
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