#curse you disorganized websites

[imjustheretoseetheprivateblogs]

Welp, now I'm overthinking things again

[narianders-gt-hell]

Normalize Being Bad at Your Job (2/5)

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A/N: my googies. The. I like them. I likey them :) Ough. Not a thought between both of their heads. you might ask yourself. why if gt story does not have a gt in it? Fear Not. we will get there eventually. Also it has a woman moment in here which I do have brain problems about. ps i cannot BELIEVE i had to log in on my computer to embed that link. functional ahh website. mild cw for swearing again bc i enjoy bad words aha

Xenia awoke the next day to a crackling campfire near her feet. A tall, elegantly built man in a loose poet blouse hunched over it, using some of her supplies to fry up an egg. Dark eyes tracked her movements as she stirred and sat up, cracking her back a few times. “Who’re you…?” she asked groggily. She rubbed her bleary eyes and stood up, stretching the sleepiness from her body. “Why are you using my things, stranger?” she asked, unable to shake the feeling of forgetting something utterly groundbreaking from last night.

He gave her a non-response in the form of a question. “How do you like your eggs cooked, miss?”

“I…over easy?” She tilted her head at him, confusion clouding her mind for a moment until a flood of memories from last night came rushing back. “Th-The dragon.” she whispered.

The disorganized thoughts buzzing through her mind snapped into terrifying focus in an instant. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from the morning light bleeding in through the doorway. He looked to her death grip on his wrist with mild amusement, letting her lead him deeper into the hall. She stopped under a broad, faded tapestry of a hunting party fighting against a lesser wyrm. “There was a dragon. A great dragon. Possibly ancient. W-We need to get so safety—“

“Madam, if there was truly a great dragon out there, I’m sure I would not have missed it on my morning hike. Can I finish making breakfast now?” he asked, wrenching himself out of her grasp.

She looked outside, half expecting to see the beast gazing back at her through the broken window, but there was no beast. A few snapped trees indicated that it had been there, but beyond that there was nothing.

She sniffed and turned back to him. “With my camping supplies?” she asked, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. The sense of immediate danger dwindled the more they kept talking.

He looked ordinary, almost plain. Mousy, dark brown hair with a small tuft of white at the edge of his bangs covered a pair of dark eyes. When they caught the light she thought for a moment that she saw slitted pupils, but when she rubbed her eyes they were perfectly mundane. His clothing was unadorned and he wore no accessories save for a pewter ring on his left hand. He simply shrugged and stood up, dusting himself off, “My own camp is about a half-mile from the ruins. I came here to scavenge, but when I got here, well…” he trailed off, pointing to her and her gear, “So! I grabbed some eggs from a nest because I didn’t feel like hunting rabbit this early in the morning, and here we are.” he said, fishing another egg out of his pocket. He cracked it into the pan, mumbling a quiet curse when a piece of eggshell slipped in with it. He carefully reached into the hot skillet and pinched the piece, shaking his fingers off after he managed to pull it out.

“You could get burned doing that.”

“I was very careful.” he replied coyly, “Anyway, you shouldn’t be here for long, miss. Rumor has it that this place is haunted.”

“I…was planning on staying for a week or two. I’m here on a private study sponsored by my university. And I don’t believe in ghosts.” she answered honestly. No use in lying about that. She could save her lies for an exit plan if need be. Even though the man was on the slighter side, everything about him still screamed danger to her baser instincts. It was obviously nerves from the dragon last night, that’s all. And probably the fact that he was touching her stuff.

The man stood and took a few backwards steps towards the eggs, keeping up the conversation, “Of course, a learned woman like yourself would not yield to superstition.” he smirked, eyes glinting with something close to glee, “Praytell, what do you study?”

She wrapped her arms around her chest and looked away, a somewhat insecure gesture that she hadn’t been able to shake off even in adulthood. Whenever she discussed her focus of study she either received mockery from her peers, or blind superstition from everyone else. “My primary concentration is in the historical and biological study of dragons.” she sighed.

“Oh, do go on.” he said eagerly, skillfully flipping the eggs over on the skillet with a flick of the wrist.

She frowned. “I take my work seriously, you know.”

“Don’t mistake my excitement for judgement, ma’am, I’ve simply heard many tales of the great beasts as a boy.” he said reassuringly, “And I don’t doubt it. You’re all the way out here, after all. I don’t think any sane traveler would go this far off the beaten path without a damn good reason.”

“And you?” she asked, “What of your reason for being out here?”

“I like to travel,” he replied, “and I like the quiet. Is it true that a dragon destroyed this place?”

She shrugged, “It’s impossible to know without finding dragon residue.”

His breath hitched, and he covered his mouth to let out a series of hacking coughs that sounded suspiciously like laughter. “Dragon what?”

“Residue.” she repeated, launching into researcher mode, “It makes sense that you wouldn’t know this. I’ve only seen it mentioned in a few of the newer biology texts but it is now commonly accepted by the scientific council that larger wyrms leave behind a tacky residue they excrete through their scales as possible self-moisturizing lubricant. Apparently it sloughs off in chunks.”

He made a face. “That sounds…disgusting.”

“It’s the proof my academy wants for the fieldwork I’m doing.” she shrugged, “Shouldn’t be too hard to find around here. Dragonfire clearly did all of this.” she said, taking note of the cracked and splintered columns that held up what remained of a burnt out cieling, caked in a dampened mixture of ancient dust and soot from the trickle of some unseen water source, “They’re magnificent, but the destruction is so…” she trailed off, running her hand over the burnt edge of a table.

The stranger clicked his tongue, “I’m sure that a dragon wouldn’t torch an entire castle without good reason.” he murmured, sliding the eggs into a small wooden dish.

She gave him an incredulous look before wandering back to the campfire to eat. She grabbed her waterskin to douse the flame, barely acknowledging what he was doing as she cut into her egg with a pocketknife. She sighed and stared up at the blackened ceiling, littered with cracks that wove their way through the pitted plaster surface above the foyer. “Don’t tell me you believe the old stories, where dragons would actually parley with kings and queens. Sure, they’re smart, but they’re like crows.”

“Crows.” he repeated, keeping his eyes on the skillet.

“Yes, somewhat mindless beasts that enjoy bringing shiny things back to their nests. The huge one that was out earlier was probably engaging in some migratory pattern if it’s gone by now.” she sighed, gazing out the broken door at the open sky above the treeline. She finally took a bite of the egg dangling on the edge of her knife, eyes widening at the taste. “This is good. Did you season it with anything? It tastes oddly familiar.”

He shook his head, “No, no, nothing like that. I just found some eggs in a tree a few paces into the clearing.” he replied, pointing his own utensil behind him to indicate direction, “Why would a mindless beast do all of this, then?” he asked, circling back to the topic of dragons.

She straightened out her shirt and stood up, taking in their surroundings yet again, “This,” she said, gesturing to the castle around her, “could have a whole litany of reasons behind it. However it’s probably the result of direct provocation. Dragons are speculated to have phenomenal memories, you know, and when they feel threatened they will lay waste to the object of their animalistic ire. Not to mention their territoriality. It could be a combination of multiple factors, honestly.”

He nodded slowly, “And you’re sure there’s nothing more to it than that?”

She sighed and sat down. “Yes, obviously.” she sighed, “I’ve interacted with a number of lesser drakes before, and while the resemblance to great dragons is uncanny, there’s very little proof of intelligence beyond their ability to solve ‘complex’ puzzles to gain treats. It’s not really that much of a logic jump to assume the bigger brutes behave the same. Perhaps they just have a broader lifespan, hence the growth rate. Although, when I was younger, I did believe the old stories.” she chuckled.

He nodded, paying close attention to her words. “And what if your younger self was correct, hm?”

“There’s no proof of that.” she replied, taking a swig from the waterskin. She used the rest to snuff the remaining flames, then took a stick from the fire pit and stirred the embers until they were completely cold.

It was then that she noticed the eggshells. They were a powder blue color, with deep blue speckles near the tops and bottoms. Kasheina eggs, known for their distinct, earthy taste and their rarity. Kashenia were known to inhabit the glassy, blue cliff region of the valley they sat in, roughly 5 miles from here. Her mother had brought them back from one of her cartography expeditions, raving about the taste. The stranger was lying. It was an impossible lie, but a lie nonetheless. There was no way these eggs could’ve stayed as fresh as they were now if he had gone on that journey, and they did not appear to be water glassed.

“Is…everything alright?” he asked, fidgeting nervously when she turned her scrutiny upon him.

She blinked and shook her head, “Sorry, sir, I was lost in thought for a moment. I was thinking of old dishes my family used to make. My mother loved her eggs poached.” This was also not a lie. “Anyway, I…do not believe we have been properly introduced. My name is Xenia.”

“Cassius—just Cass is fine, though.” he replied, shaking her outstretched hand.

His own hands were smooth and unblemished where hers were scratched and scarred by the brutal underbrush she’d dealt with on the way to the castle. She tilted her head, “Do you wear…gloves, when you travel in the woods?” she asked.

“It’s a little…warm for gloves?” he replied unsurely, clearly trying to figure out if there was a deeper meaning to her words.

She nodded. “And your blouse, it looks very lightweight. Surely it would snag on brush in the time it took you to get here, yet…I do not see any holes. Nor do I see a frock coat anywhere on your person.”

She unclipped the sheath to her billhook as she kept talking. He scrambled back across the floor, eyeing her warily, “W-Would you believe that I just like to take good care of my things?” he asked nervously, “And what are you doing with th-that?”

He tried to stand but she pounced on top of him before he could get off the floor. She pinned him to the ground, her initial fears drowning within the thrill of figuring out this impossible mystery, “Why did you make no mention of the massive crater the dragon left in its wake? Surely you could see that on your morning hike.” she kept him pinned with one hand and used her billhook to point with the other, “Who are you? Why do you not make sense?” she asked, pressing the billhook to his throat.

He sighed, the fearful expression on his face slipping away to reveal a neutral one, tinged with mild curiosity. “Y’know, normally I’m supposed to scare away the people that journey to this place.” he said, completely unfazed by the gardening tool biting into his neck, “You got me though, I’m…” he paused, taking a moment to think of something, “a ghost.”

“A ghost that eats eggs?” she asked rhetorically, trying not to outwardly express how perturbed she was at his lack of concern over the knife pressed to his throat.

“Shit.”

[lavishedinjimin]

Room 109 -> jjk (m)

↳ Pairing: jungkook x reader ↳ genre: werewolf!au ↳ word count: 6.7k ↳ warnings: alpha!jungkook, omega!reader, omega is in heat, mating, knotting, dirty talk, female solo masturbation, unprotected sex (stay safe!), jk is proud of his size lol, multiple orgasms, pregnancy kink — synopsis: Having Jungkook as your apartment buddy was a lot to get used to. But with one early day, your heat comes up much stronger than usual, and you were desperate for an alpha’s touch. 

A/N: I hope this oneshot can heal all of your thirsty, sexually frustrated souls. Also, this is my first time writing about a/b/o fics so please go easy on me. Please enjoy! 

Let’s face it, your college entrance exams were hard enough but finding a decent apartment that was close to your university and wasn’t gender-neutral was harder.

Almost all of the closest residencies were full and booked of students that were about to experience a new chapter of their life. College. You get stressed very easily, and the fact that there are almost no more apartments that accepts only girls freaks you out. You are not going to share a goddamn room with a boy. Hell no.

“Mom…” you mewl as you cradled closer to your mother’s side with your laptop in front of you, “They’re all full.” You whimpered when the words ‘Sorry! We are fully booked right now! Try searching for other apartments that attain your satisfaction.’

“No baby,” she hushes you sweetly, wrapping an arm around your small body while caressing your arm. “Don’t give up just yet.”

Trust me, you were close to giving up.

It wasn’t about the point that you hate boys – you don’t. You just don’t trust them. It’s hard to earn your trust, and your parents raised you like that. Your pack had a history of betrayal and treachery from other wolves, and was once a powerful pack was now fragile and weak. Most of your friends were Omegas like you, but they have Alphas to look after them.

The only Alpha friend… well – he’s not necessarily a friend was a guy from your high school, Hyejun.  

He once was a part of the pack but with the influence of his father, they left, leaving everyone in a state of confusion. Packs were always there for each other, it was their sole promise. They were the first ones to leave the group. It was surprising that your father didn’t go to try and kill them instantly. Strangely enough, Hyejun never stopped looking after you. Whenever an Alpha tries to make a move on you, Hyejun would somehow pop in and protect you. That was in high school, though. And now you were in college and you had no idea where he is now.

Just the thought of sharing a whole residence with an Alpha creates creepy tingles down your spine.

It was now a week before school starts and you still have no place to live. Without further thinking, you huffed and opened your laptop.

‘Gender neutral apartments near me’

Your eyes widened when you opened a website that was full of apartments that were still available. “Mom,” you called out, and within no more than five seconds she was right behind you, bending down as she rests her hands on the couch.

“Oh, darling! You’ve finally found a – oh.”

“Mom, I know, it’s the only ones that aren’t fully booked.” You spoke desperately.

“Y/n, daughter,” she sighs and walks around to sit on the space beside you. “If there’s no more choice then I guess we have to take the chances.”

“T-Take the chances of what?”

You mother smiles at you, “You know what. It’s better than to live so far away from your school, yeah?”

You look down, “I guess so…”

“Hey, liven up, baby,” she giggles, “Let’s not worry too much. There’s still a chance that you’ll have a nice young lady as your roommate.”

You pursed your lips, nodding. There was no time to hold up a grudge, you need to do what you had to do.

~

“Y/l/n Y/n.” You told the clerk behind the glass countertop, gripping your backpack and your suitcase tightly. She nods and starts typing on her computer whilst readjusting the black-rimmed glasses on the bridge of her nose.

“Room 109. Shared with Mr. Jeon Jungkook, am I right?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, slumping your shoulders.

“Great! Here are your keys,” she hands you two keys, “and please let Mrs. Han over here take you to your room.” A middle-aged woman appears in your vision, wearing a clean blazer uniform. ‘A beta’, you spoke to yourself, smelling her scent.

“Follow me, miss Y/l/n.”

She leads you to an elevator and presses the fourth floor. It was a very awkward silence, and you didn’t know what to do but to just stay put in a corner. You know she can smell you. And you wished that she was just another human, just like the woman behind the counter.  

She suddenly grabs a hold of your suitcase before you could even touch it, and it made you surprised. She smiles politely, “Let me help you.”

Following right behind her, you both walk along clean white hallways. The floor was glossy black tiles, and the sounds of her heels clicking was the only noise that you could hear – except for the harsh beating of your heart. You were so nervous to meet this Jungkook man, and there were so many questions running through your mind.

‘Was he a normal human? Was he a werewolf too? Is he perhaps an Alpha? Beta? Oh, please, be an Omega. Is he nice? Or would he be loud? I wish he doesn’t smoke – I swear to God if he smokes I’m going to leave this place in a flash.’

“Excuse me miss, we’re here.”

Mrs. Han’s voice departed you from your thoughts and you immediately straightened yourself up. “Oh, s-sorry,” you smile pathetically, readjusting your straps.

The woman just grins and lends you your suitcase back. “Well, I’ll be leaving you here. Please, if you have any questions, you are free to go down the lobby. Other information is stated on the documents we gave you. Have a nice day –”

“Do you know who Jeon Jungkook is?”

Your eyes were wide as you spoke, frantically wanting an answer. Mrs. Han knows what you mean, and she sighs.

“Jeon Jungkook, sweetie, is an Alpha.”

Oh, of course he is.

You were about to throw another tantrum, hell – you wanted to throw up, but she quickly places her hands on your shoulders reassuringly. “Y/n, I just want you to keep safe. He can be a little too much sometimes, but try to make an alliance with him. Don’t get into his bad side, okay?”

You shake your head vigorously, “I won’t.”

“Good, now go in there. We don’t have all day.” She leaves you with a final smile and turns away, heels clicking.

You shut your eyes, throwing your head back. ‘This is my worst nightmare’.

With sweaty hands, you use the keys on the lock and turned the doorknob. You pushed the door slightly, peeking to see if anyone’s inside. You opened the door halfway, and you sigh in relief when you saw no one. “Thank God.”

You pulled your large pink suitcase in and shut the door behind you. Ahead of you were a kitchen and a living room – a decent size for two people. The walls were painted in beige with white trims. ‘I could get used to this’, you thought.

You take a look around, noticing that there were things already placed on some shelves. You cringed when you saw how disorganized the cupboards were. Empty jars of Nutella and peanut butter, expired milk, and many more. Great job, Jungkook.

Speaking of Jungkook – your eyes expand when you see a man who just walked out from a bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower body.

You shrieked as you covered your eyes, instantly turning around. You mentally cursed yourself that you know have the image of his half-naked body engraved in your mind. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t m-mean to!” You stumbled on your words, panting heavily from shame.  

Jungkook, on the other hand, clenches his jaw from your sweet and heavenly scent. ‘She’s an omega’, he thinks, and a smirk slowly crept up his lips. ‘Maybe having a roommate wouldn’t be bad after all’.

Jungkook releases a deep chuckle as he stares at your small figure. He doesn’t try to walk closer to you, knowing that it might scare you. He knows he can radiate a strong aura for new people.

“It’s alright, you can turn around.”

His statement shocks you and you shake your head side to side. Funny enough, you still kept your eyes closed with your hands, even though you were already facing away from him. “I-I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“But why?” Jungkook pushes, loving your cute reaction, “We’re roommates now, dear, you’ll have to get used to seeing me shirtless.”

You gulp at his words, suddenly feeling your blood rush into your cheeks. Jungkook smirks when he feels the air in the room change, he knows what he’s doing to you. The wolf in him smells your lovely scent, and he indulges himself in it. He slowly walks closer to your body until there’s a one-foot distance. Your breath hitches up, afraid to breathe. ‘I need to calm down…’

“I’m sorry if I react like this, sweetheart. It’s been a while since I’ve encountered a female omega. I forgot how addicting their scent can be…” he trails off, the last sentence spoke in a mutter as he leans his head down to the crook of your neck. You flinch when you felt his hot breath on your skin, goosebumps arising.

“You don’t have to be nervous. I don’t bite.” He says smugly and you can practically feel the smirk wearing on his face. You jump when he places both of his hands on your hips. “H-hey—”

He swiftly turns you around so you were now facing him. His hair was still damp, some of it covering his eyes. You couldn’t even dare to look down, yet you can see how muscular he was on the very bottom of your eyes. Your stare wavered when he made eye contact with you, his eyes holding so much authority and control.

“May I get your name, pretty girl?”

You chew on your bottom lip with the petname he gave for you, eyes blinking twice – three times.

“Y/n.”

“Y/n,” your name rolls out of his tongue so perfectly, his voice so pleasing. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jungkook.” He smiles, showing off his pearly whites. That smile that probably makes a lot of girls – and boys – heart to flutter. Every word you knew was stripped out of your head as you didn’t know what to reply.

Realizing that you were still on his grip, you held onto his wrists and pushed them away from your body.

“U-Umm, nice t-to meet you.” You force an awkward smile, gripping the handle of your suitcase tightly to ensure your balance.

Stepping back, you finally see a clearer vision of his appearance. He was tall – really tall, probably a head and a half taller than you. He was built really nicely, his figure strong to protect his pack as he was born to do.

Jungkook cocks his head to the side, smiling smugly when he notices you staring at him for far too long.

“Oh, I-I’m so sorry… I better get to my room now.” You mumble, proceeding to go…actually—you didn’t know where you were going.

“Here,” he chuckles as he moves your hand away from your suitcase and he grabs a hold of it instead, “I’ll show you your room.”

You follow Jungkook behind him and let me tell you, his back muscles were unbelievably impressive. ‘Why isn’t he ashamed by all this? He’s only wearing a towel, for god’s sake!’

“I’m sorry I didn’t clean the area, I wasn’t told that you were coming today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. But it’s okay though.” You replied, smiling politely even though he can’t see you.

He leads you to a white door and stops in front of it. “After you,” he smiles and you thank him quietly, the blush on your face still clear and evident. You open the door and you smile brightly when you see how spacious it was. You walk further inside and notice the neat, twin-sized bed.

“I promise you that this room was locked when I got here. The management only opened this when you booked it.”

You ran your hands on the soft mattress of the bed, “Did they clean it?”

“Of course they did, sweetheart.” He chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest.

Your eyes widened for a split second before you clench your jaw. “Stop calling me that,” you fight the urge of blushing once again, not making any eye contact with his own burning irises. You didn’t like what you were feeling – you didn’t like that you felt so frail under his overwhelming watch.

“You’re body’s telling me something else though, Y/n.” he walks around to face you with a sly smile plastered on his face. You didn’t look directly at his face, but you were faced right in front of his built arms. Some beads of water were still tripling down his skin and cause you to gulp. His biceps flex involuntarily, beautifully-toned abs right in front of your view. It was mouthwatering. You tried to fix your direction somewhere else, but his body was just begging to be seen.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You mumbled. Jungkook doesn’t say anything else – thankfully – and he smiles at you.

“Well, I guess I’ll be leaving you here. Please make yourself at home,” he steps back with a handsome grin, shaking his wet hair away from his eyes. “You’re free to do anything, just don’t eat my food, okay?”

You crease your brows together, wanting to chuckle at his statement, “I wasn’t planning to.”

“Good.” He proceeds to walk to the door, “See you around, Y/n.”

~

“Must you always stay quiet all the time?” Jungkook suddenly plops beside you on the couch, interrupting your daily reading session. You can see his face close to your left shoulder on the corner of your eyes, trying to analyze whatever you’re reading.

“Well, a person doesn’t blabber around when they’re reading, huh, Jungkook?” You snap, clearly annoyed at him. You were just about to enter the goddamned war scene of the story. “I’m sorry that I don’t give you the attention you always want.” You roll your eyes, fixing your gaze back on your book.

Jungkook looks taken aback from your words, causing him to raise a single brow up. “Hmm, someone’s got a sharp tongue.” He leans closer to you, making you feel timid. His mouth was so close to your ear, and his breathing sent shivers all over your system. “I never would’ve thought that you can be so bratty,” he growls the last few words in a deep voice.

Bratty? You shifted in your seat, feeling a little bit weird. You didn’t like to be called a brat, it makes you feel degraded.

“I’m sorry,” you ended up saying that in a whisper, cautiously lifting your head to look back up at him. Jungkook’s heart beats faster on his chest, seeing your big eyes staring at him so innocently and so cutely.

Oh, the things he wanted to do to you.

Jungkook chuckles, “It’s okay, sweetheart. How’s abooouuut…” he drags, scooting closer to you, “How’s about I treat you to lunch? You know, get to know each other a bit more. I’ll pay.”

You didn’t hesitate to nod your head, agreeing to his offer. You instantly placed your bookmark and closed the book as you sprinted back to your room to get ready. Anything for free food.

Jungkook laughs at your adorability, watching you shuffle excitedly. He brings his hand up to his lip, playing with it. He was just as eager as you are – but for different reasons.

~

It’s been approximately nine days since you’ve been living with Jungkook, and let me tell you, it was a tough nine days.

You would’ve thought that he would lose this sultry and sensual attitude of his around you after a few days but no. It stayed with him. Sometimes it would get very tiring with all of his teasing and suggestive comments but you held your guard up.

Unfortunately, Jungkook found your weak spots. Jungkook knows what words to say to get you all riled up. He just knows what to do just to make you weak in the knees, and knows what to say to have goosebumps raise on your skin.

Yet thankfully, he never touched you. It was because of the way he presents himself, the aura that he carries with him makes it feel like he owns every place he walks into. But then again, he’s an alpha, and they can take whatever they want in just a loud growl.

But there was no lie that he’s really handsome. He had a perfectly sculpted face, not a single flaw ever to be spotted. His long hair that would go past his ears always looked breathtaking on him, especially when wet.

You would be blind if you said that he wasn’t attractive and fine.

~

You woke up drastically with your chest heaving up and down, your breathing not normal than it should be. You can feel sweat trickling down your spine, all over your neck and your forehead. You felt hot.

Immediately springing into action, you throw the covers away from your body and you remove your pajamas, leaving you in your shirt and underwear. You nervously bite on your lip as you step your foot on the cold floor and made your way through the darkness of your room into the bathroom.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, eyes expanding in utter horror when you see that your pill bottle was empty. “No, no, no, no, no!” You immediately shuffled through every drawer and cupboards and prayed that you’ll find an extra bottle somewhere. “Did I not pack extra heat suppressants?!” you whisper-shouted to yourself, eyebrows joining together in frustration.

How stupid can you be?

“Okay, okay, calm down,” you paced back and forth, combing your hands through your sweaty hair. Your first instinct was to call your mom, but god it was 5 am in the morning and you didn’t want to wake her up, especially on a Monday where she goes to work. What the fuck were you going to do?

You definitely weren’t going to risk the chances of going outside of your room. You don’t want Jungkook to see you, not at this state. You mentally cursed yourself when you can feel your slick slowly dripping down your thighs, making you whimper involuntarily.

You closed your eyes tight, taking a deep breath. Walking out of the bathroom, you instantly made your way to the door of your bedroom and locked it. You just have to lock yourself inside your room until your heat is over.

Laying yourself back on the bed, you wondered if the pills you took yesterday didn’t work. You started your heat two days ago, and you even made sure that you’ve scheduled your pills.

But as time passes, the feeling never went away. You couldn’t sleep. You could feel yourself getting hotter and hotter as each second passes as hair was stuck on your neck and forehead. You tossed and turned all over your mattress, feeling frustrated and needy.

This scared you, not going to lie. It was your first time witnessing yourself in heat without the suppressants, and you didn’t know what to expect. You emitted loud whines and penurious whimpers, calling for some release. You wanted something, you wanted someone.

~

Jungkook groaned when he wakes up and hears the alarm from his phone. He reaches his arm out to grab the device and shuts off the annoying sound with his eyes half-open.

5:30 AM, it reads.

He gets up and switches on the light, blinding him for a couple of seconds before he rubs both of his eyes with a yawn. It was time for his Monday workout session. He prepares himself and changes his clothes to some black gym shorts and a black cut-off sleeve shirt, paired with his usual sneakers. He takes his phone and advances out to the kitchen.

Jungkook was humming softly to himself, filling his large bottle up with warm water from the dispenser.

“Oh, I forgot my headphones,” he said to himself and proceeded to turn around, but a strong scent hit his nose like a truck.

‘What?’

‘Umm…’

‘What the fuck?’

Jungkook’s eyes expanded ten times bigger when a sweet and savory scent filled up the air. He walks closer, sniffing the air until it leads him right in front of your door. Jungkook was now breathing heavily. It was his first time in a very long time to smell an omega in heat, and he doesn’t know if he can control himself any further.

“A-alpha…”

Jungkook’s irises turn red right after he hears your soft but desperate whimper. He growls when he felt his blood rush down to his cock. Jungkook wanted to burst right in, to help you through your heat. You were desiring for an alpha, and he was right there, but he didn’t know that your room was locked not before he tried to open your door.

This brought him back to his senses.

He immediately steps back before anything gets more carried away. He rushes to grab his water bottle – ditching the headphones and immediately runs out of the room with a heavy breath.

“Shit shit shit shit shit!” the half-wolf chants as he makes his way towards the elevator with heavy steps. His breathing was rapid, almost making it look like that he was about to faint. He was going mad; he has never smelled an omega that sweet and delicious. It was like a new smell for him. His hormones were going crazy, his mind in a state of lust and desire.

He sighs in relief when he sees no one inside the elevator. Once he pressed the correct floor and the door closed shut, he couldn’t help but grip his hand tightly to the metal rails, knuckles almost turning white. Jungkook usually knows how to keep his control, but something about you just makes him mad.

He growls deeply as the sound of your sweet whimper fills his mind, replaying over and over again. He imagines you, looking so needy and in need of a release below him. He wants to help you, help you release that sexual frustration out of you. He craves to dominate you; your cute, little body. Your voice sounded so cute, so delicate that turns Jungkook on to the max. The word ‘alpha’ rolled down your tongue so smoothly, and he wanted to hear it again and again.

Jungkook tries his absolute best to calm himself down, closing his eyes as he takes several breaths.

~

“A-alpha…” the word came out in an eager tone, desperate for something. Your body was drenched in sweat and you felt slick frantically dripping down your thighs.

Your body took over your mind. All you can ever do was to dread for a mate while your hands teased your hardened nipples through your shirt.

You wanted an alpha. You wanted Jungkook.

As messed up as it was, you were dreading for your roommate to touch you. You were dreading him to mate with you, feel his big member inside of you.

“A-aahh, puh-please,” you mewled into the darkness, bucking your hips into nothing. Your body shivered when you snuck your hands under your shirt and tweaked your hard buds. “I c-cant…” you threw your head agitatedly from side to side, your skin itching from the desperate need of contact.

“Oh, whatever,” you spoke in gritted teeth while sliding your right hand down, cupping your dripping wet core. You immediately shivered from the oh-so-delicate touch, closing your eyes tight. You carefully rubbed your clothed cunt, your fingers immediately dampening as your slick transferred to your fingers.

With your other hand massaging your boob, you hesitantly slipped your hand inside your underwear, biting your lip.

“Mmnggf, my god,” you gasped when your fingers touched your sensitive clit. Without waiting any further, you rubbed the bud hastily as waves and waves of pleasure shoots through your system. You ran your digits down your folds, teasing your pulsing hole by poking the tip of your finger in. “I… a-aaah,” multiples mewls escaped your swollen lips when you rubbed your clit even faster, applying more pressure to escort you to a release.

“I wanna cum…” you begged to no one, “I wanna cum so badly.” You almost wanted to cry with the hopelessness in your body. You arch your back in an uncomfortable way when you pinched your rock-hard nipples once again.

“Please… make me cum, Jungkook.” You whispered.

You imagine that it’s him. You imagine that it’s him doing all of the work for you. His long, slender fingers that can unambiguously do more than your own can. You imagine his big, well-built body hovering over you, controlling your body and making it his.

“Alpha…” you can feel a heavy knot forming inside of your stomach, signaling that you were close. You didn’t hold back your cries of pleasure as your hips buck into the air, your fingers moving faster on your pussy. “Please please please…”

A loud moan escaped your lips when you felt hot cum running down from your drenched cunt, and you didn’t stop to make sure everything didn’t go to waste. Your thoughts were clouded with immense pleasure, your body going into a series of quick trembles and shudders.

‘One more time.’

~

Jungkook kept clenching his jaw, his grip on the exercise bike tight. He should be focusing on his workout routine, yet all he could ever think about was you.

‘Were you going through your heat?’

He’d praise you for actually being considerate and locking the door; because if you didn’t, all hell would break loose.

But if he did walk in, would you accept him? Would you let him touch you, let him take over you?

He couldn’t help but ponder that maybe it was all just the pleasure that was speaking for you, and not Y/n herself. He wouldn’t like it if you’ll regret everything when you get back to your normal state.

These thoughts were circulating Jungkook’s head, not until an hour later when he’s officially calmed down. He hesitates to go back inside the room, but he has no other choice.

~

Jungkook.

You can smell him.

Without thinking any further, you jumped out of your bed and ran outside to the living room where your eyes set on a messy-haired Jungkook, shirt stained with sweat while he was downing his water bottle.

“Y-Y/n?” he asks carefully, eyeing you with caution.

You abruptly forgot that you weren’t wearing any underwear, and he can easily smell your arousal from a distance. He notices how your face was so flushed, hair in tangles and you breathing was uneven.

“Jungkook—” you whimpered quietly, pleading him as you walked closer to his frame. Jungkook shakes his head as he steps away from you, noticing his adam’s apple bob as he goes to the very corner of the room.

“Distance, Y/n. I-I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want.” Jungkook rasps, trying his fucking hardest not to pounce on you.

The shirt that you wore only covered a little bit of your wet pussy and your sweet scent filled the entire room in a flash. Jungkook was losing his mind, eyes threatening to roll back from your smell.

“No, please,” your eyes drooped, tugging at the hem of your shirt frustratingly, “I want it, I really, really do.” You sigh. When Jungkook didn’t respond, you took the chance to continue. “I-I ran out of heat suppressants. My heat is too strong today a-and I can’t take it any further.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw. He notices the glistening slick that was slowly creeping down your thighs, and he wanted to punch a wall. He growls lowly to himself, feeling his dick harden again.

“I’ve already cummed t-three times today, but I need more.”

The alpha raises his eyebrows from your statement, “Three?” he chuckles, crossing his muscular arms together in front of his chest, “That’s quite a lot, isn’t it, sweetheart?”

There he goes. There he decides to tease you. You’ve learned that you quite love his teasing, and it makes you even hornier.

“I know, but all this time I was thinking about you, Jungkook.” You spoke quietly as you walked closer to him.

“Y-Y/n, are you – oh fuck, are you sure about this?” he tries to say, but your smell was overflowing his mind and it was difficult for him to formulate words. “Do you know what you’re about to do? Hmm?”

“Yes, I’ve never been surer. Please,” you were now right in front of him, and you heard him growl dominantly as he towers over your height. “Please mate with me.”

Without wasting any more time, he suddenly lifts your little body and carries you to his room, shutting the door behind him. He drops you onto the soft bed and you crawl up to rest your head on his pillows. Jungkook smirks down at you while he removes his shirt, revealing his beautifully-toned abs that had just the workout earlier.

“My little, desperate omega,” he scoffs, “begging for another release, aren’t you?” he hovers over you and leans down to lick a bold stripe on your neck. You croon your head to the side, allowing him more access. You let out a moan when he starts to suck on your delicate skin.

“You just want an alpha’s cock to satisfy you, huh?”

You nod briefly, followed by a quiet mewl when he removes your shirt, revealing your breasts to him. “Hmm? Is that what you want? Want this little pussy to be filled up with some big cock?”

“Hnngf, yes, yes, please,” he starts to suck on your hard nipples, biting on it playfully which makes you arch your back. He removes his mouth with a loud pop, “Filthy little girl.”

Your nerves were firing, feeling blazing hot and excited. You were fantasizing about this for so many hours now, after all of the unsatisfying releases – you have finally got what you truly wanted. Your hands were clammy and your mind was in a blissful mess, but you didn’t care. All you wanted was him; right now, at this moment.

“Let me have a taste of you, baby girl,” he growls as he hovers down to your core. He inhales your savory scent and his dick twitches. Your pussy was so wet, dripping in juices and stained with cum from your previous orgasms. Jungkook’s arms sling around and under your thighs, parting them together to give him a better view.

“Fucking hell, you’re drenched, sweetheart. Is this all for me, hmm?” he doesn’t even give you the time to respond when he abruptly licks a heavy stripe from your clenching hole to your clit. The sudden feeling sent electrifying currents all throughout your body, “Oohhh, yes. I-It’s all for you, Jungkook.”

“You don’t know how much I’ve been thinking about this sweet little cunt, baby. I’ve been wanting to have a taste of you since you’ve first stepped inside this apartment.”

He drives his tongue back, this time alternating between licking numbers on your folds and sucking on your swollen clit. His tongue worked wonders on you, causing your hands to fly down to tug on his long and wavy hair. You try to shove his bangs away to have a better view of his mouth on your pussy.

“Ohh my god! Like that, keep doing that, please,” you breathlessly moaned, shutting your eyes from the pleasure. You felt him smirk between your pussy which made you clench onto nothing.

You whimper from the loss of contact when he leans back, wiping his lips with the back of his hands. “I’m going fucking mad on you, baby. You drive me wild.”

Your eyes fly to where his right hand is as he cups his hard length beneath his shorts. He proceeds to rub it firmly, teasing you as he makes direct eye contact. “You want this, huh?”

You nod desperately, bringing your fingers up to your lips to give them a suck.

Jungkook chuckles sinisterly and finally pulls the clothing down, and your mouth immediately waters from the sight.

He was nice and long, his girth impressive as precum dripped down the tip of his dick. He strokes his length a couple of times as he carefully examined your expression. “You like it?” he smirks, “You want it inside you, huh?”

He chucks the clothing to the floor and hovers above you, his dick now right in front of your entrance. “Are you sure you want this, Y/n?” his eyes suddenly turn soft after being invaded with lust, “Are you sure you want me to be your mate?”

You try to smile at his question, “Yes, yes I do, Jungkook. I want it to be you.” His heart swells up, but he feels like melting into a puddle after you’ve continued: “Do you?”

Jungkook laughs quietly as he strokes your hair with his hands reassuringly, his gaze looking so caring and loving. “Of course I do, Y/n. I’ve always thought that you were the most beautiful girl that ever existed, even if we only met a couple of days ago,” he chuckles. “The most precious, kind, sweet, and delicate girl I’ve ever seen. I wanted to be yours so bad. I want to protect you, wanna take care of you forever.”

He nuzzles his nose close to the crook of your neck, shaking his head which causes his hair to tickle you. You giggle and Jungkook smiles, pressing a delicate kiss on your lips. “You don’t know how much I need you.”

“You can have me, Jungkook. Claim me as yours.”

And with that statement, he was quick to growl as his cock twitches in desperate need. He tugs on in a couple of times before aligning it on your entrance. “I’ll go slow, okay little one?”

You obey his words as you nod. You felt the tip of his dick pushing inside your hole, slowly and carefully filling you with his thick cock. He was even bigger than you were expecting, filling you up in all the right places. “O-ohh my god!” you moaned out, lips open in pleasure as you felt your thighs quiver.

“Mhmm, your pussy’s squeezing my cock so good, baby.” He places his big hands on your hips as he pushes further, his eyes rolling back from how tight you are. “You feel so fucking good.”

He wasn’t even halfway in before you felt yourself close to an orgasm. You wrap your legs around his hips, pushing him deeper inside of you. “I-I…a-aaaahhh!”

Your fourth orgasm of the day hit you like a huge train, covering Jungkook’s cock with your cum. You were clenching uncontrollably around him and he couldn’t help but shove the rest of his length in without any warning. “Fuck! B-baby, you’re gonna make me lose my shit.”

He stays still inside of you, letting you calm down from your previous high. But you can’t help but notice his heavy and ragged breath, growling every now and then. “J-Jungkook, you can move now.”

“Y/n,” his voice suddenly becomes deeper and raspier, “I-I might not be able to hold myself ba—oh s-shit—back.” He closes his eyes tight, moving his hips very slightly. “Please tell me that you’re a hundred percent okay with this. I don’t want you to r-regret anything.” He said in a heavy pant, pleasure for sure taking the best of him. Jungkook was overwhelmed with all of the waves of senses being thrown at him all at once. Fuck, just the thought of your cute little tummy carrying all of his pups makes him want to fuck your brains out.

“Please, Kook,” the alpha smiles at the nickname, “I really, really want this. I don’t regret any of this. I want you too as much as you do, so please, just fuck me already. Be my mate, please.”

Jungkook chuckles, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip, “If you say so, baby.”

Immediately, he starts fucking you with a deep and hard pace. Your eyes instantly roll back to your head as you start seeing stars. He was literally trying to fuck your brains out.

Your fingers claw on his back, scratching his skin which made him hiss, probably from the pain plus pleasure it brought. This only encouraged him to go even faster and even harder than before.

“Such a slut for this big cock, aren’t you? You wanna be filled with my cum, huh? Wanna carry my pups?”

You moan delightfully from his words, clenching around him from the thought of having his puppies. “Yes, yes. Give me your pups, Jungkook,” you whimpered.

“You want it, huh?” He snarls, smirking down at you. Suddenly, his right hand flies to your neck and he wraps his whole palm around it, choking you. You whimper, not expecting to be so turned on from this action. He presses firmly on your neck, his dominant and assertive side coming out.

You feel so nice and full around him, his cock hitting so deep inside of you. His balls were fervently slapping on your pussy, making wet lewd noises that resonated throughout the room. He was growling on top of you, bruising your thighs as he continues to pound on your sore, little cunt.

He finally releases your neck but only to grab your hips with both of his hands, flipping you around so that you were on fours. “Face down, ass up, baby girl.”

You mewled as you did as you were told, burying your face on his pillows. His hand spanks your ass cheek once, twice, three times, making you whimper loudly. His smacks were hard and sharp, and you were sure that your skin will turn red in no time.

Jungkook continues thrusting in and out of your sopping cunt, pulling all the way until just the tip for him to slam his whole length in you. Your body jolts forward, as he does this action again and again. “Hmm, such a nice, tight pussy you’ve got.” He teases your cunt by gliding the tip of his dick up and down your soaked folds, collecting more of your wetness. “This is all mine, right sweetheart?”

He firmly slaps his dick on your clit a couple of times to get an answer from you. “Answer me, Y/n,” he groans.

“Y-Yes, yes, it’s all yours, Kook.”

“That’s my good girl.”

Jungkook only had one goal, and that was to fuck you into another mind-blowing orgasm. His hips move faster and his cock was deeper with the new position, allowing him to hit your sweet spot. “O-oh! Right there! R-right there,” you moaned, tears brimming in your eyes from how good it all feels. Your hard nipples were rubbing on the sheets, helping you and providing more pleasure.

“Right here?” He gives one particular hard thrust on that same spot, making you moan out his name.

“Are you gonna come for me, baby? Make your body tremble, your pussy clenching on my big dick, hmm?” He keeps pounding on your g-spot, bringing you closer to the edge yet again. “That’s it, baby. C’mon, come for me.” With his last words, you instantly release around his length, squeezing him up as you shake. It was all so much for you to handle, yet Jungkook still holds your body so tenderly as you cummed.

“Y-Yeah, fuck,” Jungkook pants, “so good, m’gonna cum inside you, sweetheart. Gonna fill those walls with my cum and you’re gonna keep it there baby.”

Jungkook chases his high and before you knew it, his cum was spurting inside of you, hot and long strokes of his seed shooting on your walls. He gasps and leans down, your back pressed firmly against his chest as he holds you close.

“Take it, baby, take it.” He grunts, and he doesn’t hold back the loud moan that escapes his lips when he feels his knot getting bigger and bigger. Your eyes suddenly go wide from the feeling. It felt like someone was blowing a balloon inside of you.

“Jungkook… wh-what’s happening?” You asked quietly, trying to push yourself away but he just groans and pulls you back firmly.

“J-Just stay here, baby. You’re safe, you’re okay.” He reassures you as he tries to calm his breathing down.

“How long will this last?”

“A couple of minutes,” he laughs quietly, “can last about an hour or two. We don’t know.”

You giggled, “Now we’re closer than ever, huh?”

“Yes, baby,” he leans down to kiss your lips tenderly, full of love and affection. “Quite literally.”

[mythiccheroacademia]

Baking! Headcanons

Characters: Kirishima, Tamaki, and Taishiro (Fat Gum)

Warnings: fluffiness overload?? ok there’s like a tiny mention of suggestive activities but nothing compared to what y’all see every day on this sin hole of a website

most if not all SWF

A/N: In honor of these three’s heroism in the last few episodes. Let them have a normal day you cowards! Also, I felt kind of seasonal and wanted to see my boos bake some cookies with their S/O 

Kirishima Eijrou:

this is my baby fr fr

such a beautiful and good boi it makes my heart hurt

like, how does he???

okay, focus!

baking would be a manly sport filled with smiles, laughter, and a bit of disorganized mixing

both of you aren’t amazing cooks, but you can follow directions well!

i see him being into chocolate 

he doesn’t have it much because of hero training™ so he’s super excited to bake some sweets

especially with you

bc you’re just a treat to be around

see what i did there?

spends half the time “accidentally” bumping into you to get the ingredients together

“oh, let me get the vanilla extract for you”

*hip bumps you*

“you need the whisk? i got it”

*places a lingering hand on your lowerback*

damn it kirishima you’re supposed to be  b a k i n g ! !

will “show you the proper way to mix” by getting behind you and holding your hands

you just quirk a brow, but let it happen

he ain't slick tho

when the mix is in the oven, you both lick the spoon clean

when you take some batter off his face with your finger and lick it, he’ll literally implode 

all that devilish handsome machoness disappears in .2 secs

you tease him and he’ll whine about it before tickling you to get you back

idk why or how but y’all break out in song and dance 

I’ll Make a Man Out of You is the song ofc

the timer goes off and you both enjoy your sweets with bright smiles and a kiss here n there

Tamaki Amajki:

another pure and beautiful boi who deserves nothing but the best

but i digress

y’all would have some nice holiday music in the background

it would be something soothing like acapella, jazz (KennyG), or slow songs from the queen of Christmas Mariah Carey

it’s a relaxing environment and he doesn’t feel nervous 

although you always make him nervous bc you’re just so pretty but anyway

you’ve decided to bake some sugar cookies with homemade icing!

you work on getting the icing together and he’s preparing the batter

at first, it’s kind of silent besides the little “can you pass the butter” or “can you set the oven to 350 pls”

but then, you two start making conversation and talk about everything and nothing at all

“did you see the trailer for that new horror movie?”

“Mirio was telling me something about a crying blonde lady and a cat? do you know about it?”

“did you know that some turtles can breathe through their butt”

“you have very pretty eyes”

reader-error.exe

the batter is put in the oven and whiles you two wait, you’re leaning against one another, enjoying the other’s company

it’s just such a soft atmosphere it’s something out of a storybook

like, you both just compliment the other and it’s soothing

tamaki is so happy he’s found someone he can just be silent and happy with

once they’re done, you shape them into cute characters like gingerbread men, doves, bells, etc. then they’re decorated with icing and sprinkles

the cookies look like something out of a show

you shared it with the other students and they asked you two to forget about being heroes and open up a bakery

it’s bakugo approved!

Taishiro Toyomitsu (Fat Gum):

\two gifs for the duality of man!

you’re 20+ in this btw bc minors + adults + dating = illegal/wrong/unacceptable

when he’s with his s/o, he’s such a big teddy bear

he’s usually upbeat and easy-going, but he’s just a lot softer and cheery in your presence

you just remind him of the easier things in life

ofc, baking is no foreign custom in the Taishiro household! your mans eats enough for an entire city!

but the gag is, as much as he likes to eat, he’s a horrible cook

even when he tries to follow a cookbook, it just never goes right

you shoo him from the kitchen bc you ain’t getting food poisoning

no sirrr, not in Beyoncé’s economy 

but he doesn’t listen to you

the most playful when it comes to baking

you try to ignore him as you make the cupcakes (save for a few snickers here n there)

will use his freakishly abnormal height (in hero form he’s like 8ft, but deflated i hc him to be like 6′5) to hold the spoon above your head

you cuss him out

��little boy if you don’t give me back my damn spoon--”

“little? is that what you think now?”

“I--”

“that’s not what you were saying two days ago”

“Toyomitsu!”

he’s a disrespectful lil shit but it makes you smile, curse him

once he realizes that the baking isnt going anywhere and he’s highkey starving, he’ll chill out

actually wants to help so you allow him to set the oven, set the timer, and put the tray in

“why don’t we crank it up by 200 degrees and shave off ten minutes”

“no”

he’ll cuddle you and talk to pass the time

once they’re done, you barely manage to take them out before he dives in

literally sings, “oh i’m about to diiiiivvveee in...splash~”

y’know, that song by Trey Songz

you two eat them and he swears he’s going to propose in the next week

[tuiyla]

10,000

So this is my 10,000th post and I’ve been wondering if I should do anything special for it. I stumbled across a cringy “what parents should know: Tumblr is bad for your teen” article earlier today so I thought, oh, perfect, that gives me something to talk about.

Not that I want to get on a high horse here and preach about how amazing this website is. It’s pretty terrible most of the time. The only reason it somehow still exists is that every other social media platform is getting progressively worse while tumblr is sort of just... here. Always has been. So rest assured, this is not meant to praise this hellsite, but I have been on here for eight and a half years, with bigger and smaller breaks, and I am grateful for it.

For all the shit it gets, tumblr has always been the site where I feel the least amount of pressure. Very, very few people I know in real life know about this blog and I like it that way. Not that I have anything to hide, I’m long past being embarrassed about my hyperfixations. There are a few personal posts scattered throughout my archive but I don’t regret those either, because whenever I felt like writing something down and releasing it into the world, I knew tumblr was my best bet.

I owe a lot to this site in terms of how I’ve grown in expressing myself. It was the first real platform where I started sharing my thoughts. I went from disorganized ramblings to reviews to proper essays. I still write all types on occasion, and I know I can always just share them on here if I feel like it. Maybe no one will read it, maybe loads of people will. That’s not really the point on here, is it? At the same time, there is room for interaction, for people to communicate through tags, for real discourse to start. I love that aspect as well, but I also love that this has been a place for me to share my writing, to put my thoughts out there and develop as time went on. I still have a lot to learn but it’s nice to look back on the firsts of my original posts and go “huh, I guess I am getting better”.

Say what you will about tumblr’s fandom culture, I owe a lot in that aspect as well. I first came on here just after Book 1 of The Legend of Korra finished airing and just reblogged Avatar and Harry Potter stuff for a long time. Then, such is the nature of this platform that I saw posts about Adventure Time. And then Doctor Who. Carmilla. So many of the thing I found so much joy in, I discovered through tumblr. And even when I would have found about a given thing eventually, it wouldn’t have been the same without the experience of being here and discussing it. My archive is basically a log of all my obsessions over the years, how my views have evolved, how I’ve used them for creative outputs. Because that’s another aspect, how tumblr has provided me with a creative output. I’ve already talked about writing, but there’s also giffing and just in general being able to do some textual poaching and put it out into the world. It’s neat, even when thing get like, 2 notes.

And another thing? Tumblr is good for critical thinking, actually. I said what I said. Sure, it’s easy to fall into a certain bubble and never be exposed to anything else, to hear constant echos of one’s own opinion and to grow in the conviction that you are unarguably right. That can happen, with how much you can curate your own experience and all. But overall, I think this is a place where you can learn a lot from others if you’re willing to listen. 15 year old me heard so many ideas for the first time on here. That probably says a lot about how public education failed me but here we are anyway. And it’s crazy to think that 10 year olds today probably know more about social injustices and have a better ability to think critically about the status quo than I did at 15, but I’m happy for them. We can throw words like SJWs around and be critical of tumblr’s brand of wokeness, and we should be, but if nothing else it was a great starting off point for me.

I don’t know how much my life has truly been impacted by this one hellsite that everyone hates but still uses. Honestly, I think it has had a bigger impact than I’ll ever know. Would I have gone to uni and studied what I did? Would I have learned to love hearing others’ perspectives and learn about their cultures so much? Would I have had all these opportunities to explore my own feelings about certain things? I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not trying to be dramatic and say this cursed platform changed my life. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t. All I know, it’s something I keep coming back to. So, I don’t know if there will be 10,000 more but I’m glad to have an archive to look back on and feel mildly proud of.

Long story short, Tumblr wasn’t bad for me as a teen; it helped me grow.

[ss-neokagashi-ss-blog]

Revolutionaries

https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=18326&sid=4a454958546bf75dc0031d7d8e3dc053

A few people constantly complain or attack not what makes them go full retard, but rather, what prevents them from going full retard. This is very common nowadays. Instead of us opposing the corruption, and what eventually destroys us, we only hate on what is preventing this. Mentality such as this is instilled in victims, slaves, and all sorts of people whose only program in the brain is a program of self-destruction, and satisfaction while said destruction takes place. For example, one that wants to jump from a cliff, hates on the sign that says "Danger DEATH", and one that wants to do drugs, only sees their "mother and father" as their enemy, who tell them to not become a drug user and eventually die. Somehow, if one does this, they act like a 'bad parent', but if they allow people off the cliffs, jews to patrol and pull people down, or even better, in the opinion of these infantile people, KICK their own children down from the cliffs, that is "Good parenthood", deserving of jewish rewards. Good Parenting consists of teaching your "Goy" children, and "Followers", as these fools who point the finger on 'me' and 'us' frequently, to only espouse and accept what is bad for them, and never teach them the art of rejection for decay like some "madmen" like the one writing this post does. "Madmen" like that want to generate free warriors and people who know to say "NO", in a world where all "NO's" are pointless, and all "YES's" are only affirmations of further destruction. Little these people can see, that you guys that complain, are free to jump from cliffs. The only thing that "I" refuse to do is give you ENDORSEMENT for it. Nobody here, nor me, or anyone else, can endorse of what one loves and cares about, to see it going down a cliff, or self destroy, or follow a route of self destruction. One can however, liberally and individually, take this route, no questions asked. Unlike you, who answer to nobody, and sadly, not even yourselves when you self-question stupidity, I have beings to whom I have to answer, and who demand well-being and protection. In my mind and in the mind of many others, where there are innocents, there should also be guards, medics, teachers, and a community. In the mind of few others and some jews who are thinking alike, where there are innocents, there should be no borders and no fence: this way the jew can feast freely. To these people, "You" people are only a good dinner, and a good meal. These revolutionaries for nothing, of which we also have some few here, are always of the same foolery. The revolutionary tendency is not taken on head to head with all the enemies of this world who plan to put people in gulags, but thrown aggressively on people who put some signs in place for others to not fall of cliffs. This is because these people are frail and weak. They do not have the power to change the 'greater evils', so they are busy trying to 'change' and drag down the few people who step in the front to change these evils. This is because, when these proud people fight against these evils, and they stand like proud lions, these cheap souls shrink and feel worthless, for they are good for nothing and communists. One would rather not raise a website to criticize christianity, islam, or what is eventually KILLING US for CENTURIES, but they are too fond to attack on superficial matters: others who are truly dangerous are coming to clean them in one full sweep from the hills, and what they concern themselves with, if in a small bastion that defends a great war, their dumb 'criticisms' have no place. This reminds me of Jouranlists who go in the Middle East. Pissrael is taking Palestinian kids down by the droves, but what is of immaculate interest here, is if some Anti-semite threw a banana down, upon which a holy jew did slip and hurt his ass. That is indeed their 'greatest problem'. As for real problems, if they pointed out to this, these 'self righteous' criticizers, would find themselves in an Israeli camp, so they turn to the people who threw the banana peel, to play the righteous against these people, whom they know will not react to them. The above is because our side simply does not pointlessly retaliate, like of course the enemy would do in said example. But these fools know, if they take their so called "REVOLUTIONARY" tendencies to the enemy, which they are cowardly to do so, they will have issues. Therefore, they limit themselves to matters such as their "OPINION" on X non existent problem of the forum or of this community, which for example, they never even existed in. Oh boy these little ones are also aggressive, and they have really bad manners on top of everything, too, like buzzfeed reporters. As much as buzzfeed cares about 'human rights', so as to breach and attack the rights of humans with opposing opinions mercilessly, so do these 'criticizers' care to improve anything, with rants, below the belt attacks, and acting like Rabbis on a heated synagogue argument. As the jew who never existed in Rome and went in Rome to dictate how Rome should be run, and because the Romans had freedom of assembly and did not slaughter them on the spot, so do these "REVOLUTIONARIES FOR NOTHING" do not spend their time wisely, but to attack the order that they claim to 'represent' (self appointed or with their 3-4 friends most of the time), as the jews who were speaking in the "INTEREST OF ROME", and speaking of how holy it would be if it collapsed. "The interest of Rome, me and my 3-4 friends say, is for Rome to finally collapse! Marcus Aurelius is foolish, for me and my 3-4 talmud reading alien friends have to be free to uhm, do absolutely nothing for any of you guys reading this, hehe. Now do as we say goy!". These good for nothing are totally unfit to sit on a table to develop something that they claim they 'love', but they are too fit to cause communist style uprisings and of course, can't look past their own nose. It is possibly too big after all, it constrains their vision. This is because what is important to them is to be the parasitic 'front-men' that when the guns sound, hide behind others to make excuses, use them as meat shields, or desert them. Any skill of actual leadership, comradeship, and sense of purpose and caring for others completely lacks. What is more important is to be pointless rebels. All one imagines is to be like a retard on the spotlight not to GIVE light, but to STEAL light. The above mindset where an army or a great purpose is concerned, only can get you as far as being self righteous bandits. One never gets nowhere without organization. As every chakra has to be on it's point for a functional whole, so do societies and communities have to be likewise in order to shine. To move alone, or to move like a bandit, will only make you a very good bandit. One only grows as good as to throw a dumb molotov like a leftist on a trash can. The greatest achievement of these people is that. Our people, meaning, the people of our side, and those who are at heart decided to fight the enemy, should have greater aims, greater achievements. You are not destined to be bandits, you are destined to be a powerful armada that the enemy will fear, and shriek in terror from. You are not supposed to carry slingshot, but powerful spiritual weaponry. You are not to be cowards that complain about something, but builders who will learn to correct it. Our enemy is ordered, decided, attacks for hours on end daily, for thousands of years, unceasingly, at all front. Is it therefore by any question why our enemy has been dominating people and having them under, and kicking them while they are down? And what do "WE", thankfully, infrequently have to encounter? Infiltrators, weakness, lack of caring, and certain dumb rebels, who instead of attacking what will actually put them in a gulag, are busy being self-righteous ticks on literally the ONLY forces that are not only open to communicate, take them in, teach them, and uplift them, but also seek the bettering of mankind. Satan, the Greatest God, who has had the greatest souls, always had to deal with disrespect, weakness, and seeing his children gas-lighted and moving in circles. We are here to change this permanently. Satanist will no longer mean what the enemy has made it mean, it will mean what we develop out of ourselves. The Lions of Sumeria will stand restored. Rebellion, just for the sake of record, if is disorganized and purposeless, is of no consequence, no essence. It is cowardly. You are not a good person because you are simply a rebel. You are not strong if you rebel ineffectively, or because you attack your guides. A good cause is needed, a formation, a loyalty between what is revolutionaries and rebels. If you do not know the values of brotherhood, standing with your brothers sword to sword, and taking a stand, you are nothing but just another dumbass with a hoodie burning trashcans. And so long you are the above, nobody will be of any concern. You are just another fool, another mockery, a mockery imagined by Satan's enemies of what should be his followers. A lot of these fools remind me of an example from Hitler's time. A few 'Pagan' witches in Britain, I bet, white and all, were so UHM feeling oppressed by Muh Evil Hitler (What Rothschild told them Hitler was by his Juden Presse) and they were really alarmed. Being reactionary and 'revolutionary' as these dumbasses were, they decided to curse Hitler. Little did these 'witches' see that Germany, was the HOTBED of all spiritual knowledge, uprising understanding, and newfound Paganism. As for JEWS who have been running Britain for literally CENTURIES, these very clever witches had the idea to attack Hitler instead. They burned witches like them for centuries in droves, but that is OK. AT least, they can fight "Evil Hitler". The Vatican, Muslims, Jews, and all others who literally BURNED witches to the ground for 20 plus centuries, were not really "THE" danger. The people who put forth the most spiritual information of the century, who were the only people to give rise to a non jewish spiritual order, and who were the only one's interested about out origins and setting people free financially, culturally, and in their sovereignty, leading by example the most compassionate and strong land of the time, THESE were the problem. Hitler was the danger. The Rockafellers and Rothschilds and jews who spent all their lives in enslaving them, misinforming them, enslaving them, burning all Pagan sites prior to recent wrongdoings for centuries, and brainwashing our European continent to kill our own selves and Pagan past - these are all fine. "We have to defend them, to defend Britain". 30% of people shouted for Britain to ally with Hitler, to save the White people. But to the witches above, and many others, this was 'too far'. It was too much of a 'bigotry' for a common people to be brothers and to be allied. To be egotistic when it is for defending jews, and selfless when it comes to their rape, was more important, than saving the race. So these dumb witches decided to do a cone of power ritual against Hitler. Like foolish animals, they started dancing around the cone of power, to attack their only actual liberation, because they were dumb, useless revolutionaries, disinformed, and spiritually dross. They wanted to play hero but be the parasite. So they in their 'revolutionary' feats, cursed Hitler. What happened eventually is that half of these witches died, like dumb animals. Used as cannon fodder from the jews and the enemy to add useless force into the general works against Hitler. Probably, they were White. Their spells failed, same as those of hundreds of thousands others, and all the jews. They battered this man like battering rams and he took them all down. This should be a lesson for dumbasses to not attack the sun. Eventually, the so called "DICTATOR", that mighty SUN, did set from from this world, and he left. The people of "FREEDOM" are now "RULING" these so called "Freedom lovers". Now these witches, if they still exist, they can enjoy a reincarnation in Eurabia, being stoned by blacks, and also, their lovely 'Britain' to become brown in the span of a few decades. Maybe, if the evil "Hitlers" of our time give up, they will experience the glories of living in an Islamic country within the span of some decades. Ah, the pleasure of attacking Hilter and these evil Nazis, and being ((("Truly British"))). Britain is now one of the leading nations in Europe in the browning and kalergi planning, one of the first Orwellian superstates where police will show up on your door for twitter posts or 'awkward beliefs', the first nation in rising of a faith aka Islam where when it becomes a majority, women will be castrated and become akin to swine, a people whose Sovereignty is of the least importance and cannot manifest it's own political decisions, and who live in one of the world's strongest countries but it's being wrestled from their own hands in front of their very eyes. Even the will of the populace is now totally forsaken. These Pagan witches were busy not attacking their enemies, but their friends, liberators, and allies. In this paradigm, many fools have followed. They don't have the insight to see who benefits from these actions, but they know how to do cones of power to attack what would eventually save their whole existence. These witches also like to call themselves "Witches", a word which is related to the WISE. As for the wisdom, it's nowhere to be found. Like slaves in a village enslaved for too long, they lift their stupid sickle to defend their feudalism slaver. To gain only a life of eternal slaving. They were busy being self righteous and not cursing where they should. Many other so called "Satanists", despite of decades of failures, against "US", the JoS, and individuals, have been constantly failing. Satan is with us, and you have to understand this. Stop wasting your energies, or rather, join us and fight the enemy, and make some worth of them. Can't you see that you are plucking your own eyes when you do these things? For one, curses against "Us" will not work. People who serve the Gods and attacking others who also serve in that regard are simply abominations. We have endless battalions of enemies for you to do your modern 'cones of power' against. As far as we are concerned, this is the reason we never have, and do not want to waste time or anyone or anything else besides the actual enemy, who is the TRUE danger to everyone. Attack us with your stones and toothpicks, but expect napalm if we are to turn to you, 'wise witches'- our enemies are coming in with the latest armada, and you are sleeping on your own little bed, at least certain in your moral choice to serve jews yet another day. The ones who corrupted our spirituality, tenets, past and future, to the point most of you have nothing but their jewish mentions, their jewish terminology, their jewish occultic "lore", and their jewish hubris. That leads you nowhere. When our enemies will put these 'witches' in the gulag, they will try to do little candle spells, but none will work. Us, we would rather turn our spiritual weaponry where it matters, and defend what matters, at the most crucial time ever, which is NOW. We have endless xianity, endless muslims, endless political or otherwise oppressors, and other DEADLY enemies, with whom differences do not extend as far as something that conversation or negotiation can solve, but who only want to see you, and everything you love, DEAD. If you still think the wise thing to do is to mobilize against the only spiritual people of this earth who take a stance on this oppression, join the club of the losers and dumb reactionaries, and destroy yourself in quick efficiency by opposing us. Warnings have been issued, and there is nothing that can be done further. The "Tribal" interest of the jews is for many superior to their own living, existential, and well-being interest. They are busy slaving like serfs for the enemy who only will eternally abuse them. Like these dumb witches, some choose to fight against Freedom, based on perceived disinformation. Frail and lacking knowledge, they insisted, not raising their heads to see that their so called 'spiritual masters' and 'authorities' handle them as dogs, who knew nothing, but to do infantile rituals against people who would in the end save them too. Any "True Pagan" or "True Witch", should raise their heads and themselves out of this slavery, understand in "WISDOM" their own interest, and align themselves with LIFE rather than their own personal DEATH, which is the enemy, their jewish 'moralist' agenda, and people who say that you must "Not suffer a witch to live" as their national literature. It's time spiritual people do something MEANINGFUL, other than kissing the ass of whose who will eventually destroy them, and who have been killing all witches for centuries as if they were flies en masse. Criticism, and any dislike aside, Pagans of sound denominations, "Satanists" with a core of actual beliefs who are not entirely just acting out, and many others - I tell you verily, and honestly: We also fight for your rights in the future, which will come as byproduct of our efforts, even if you stupidly decide to fight against us. One is merely wasting time by not aligning themselves on the proper side for our continuation, which is ours. Those who have maturity and understanding, and care for "Our" future as Heathens, Pagans, or people of ancient faith, ancestry, and honor the blood of our ancestors, they will not take these words in vain. To these people of wisdom of spirit, salutations. To the rest, only "FAREWELL". Those who respect truth, will value it wherever it is said. Those who value the blood of their ancestors, will value it wherever it is shed. Those who have wisdom, let them join us in our spiritual warfare, or even if they want, enter our ranks and fight for a JUST cause for once: http://www.satanslibrary.org/Rtrs/Final_RTR.htm -High Priest Hooded Cobra 666

[xtremedespair3d]

New Year 2021: The Virus That Ruined Everything

WARNING: THIS POST IS EXTREMELY LONG, YOU CAN EITHER SKIM TO SOME IMPORTANT PARTS IF YOU'D LIKE.

The 2020 decade is finally here and... Quite a lot of stuff has happened for the absoltue worse, and I didn’t ask any of this.

Life continuously gets worse every time with bad stuff happening, mainly online drama and problems with my personal life, other things like celebrity deaths and among other things, but this year, no thanks to a certain virus and worse, my personal problems, this has definitely become the worst worst year yet!

(As for the thumbnail, I was gonna look for generic images of “2021″ but I realized I had saved this image since 2020 began, but looking at it now, I don’t think it has hold up because 2020 has become a far worse year of its own. Hopefully for a 2020 2 picture for 2021 in case if life continues to get worse and worse)

This is definitely the longest Tumblr post I’ve ever written, so be prepared!

First off, let me apologize for last year’s New Year post where I said it would be my last post and I would be retire from Tumblr, but after a few months, I got bored and I decided to come back because I can’t live without blogging, so I’ll continue doing what I like doing, even if nobody reads or cares about my posts most of the time.

I should also tell you in advance that I’m dropping the scoring system in my top best of the year lists, not only they were usually rigged, biased* and repetitive, it was pretty confusing too. What I was basically trying to do with these scores is just matching different systems, like for example:

10/10 Rank: S++ 100%

The first one is a standard one, the second is common in some games but it’s more loosely based on Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain where the top rank is S++, and the third part is of course based on Rotten Tomatoes, which thank god I’m not even checking that site anymore and I have the word muted on Twitter so I won’t be disappointed with how terrible the movies I want to see the most perform (And why should I really care about that to begin with?). In the end, numbers don’t matter, it’s all about how much I enjoy this media and how much do I love it or hate it to be top or bottom, that’s all what matters.

*Although my lists will always be biased regardless. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, let’s kick off this post with some of the cursed shit that happened throughout this year, there were Australia wildfires, we almost had World War 3, police brutality, and now the worst thing of all, COVID-19. I’m not even gonna bother going into details on these other events other than COVID because it’s a very important issue that happened throughout life, even for my standards which I wouldn’t give an absolute shit about everything else that happens. A lot of major events got delayed, movies and games that I was looking forward the most got delayed, etc. Everything about COVID was a mess, but as usual, everything that happens in my life is far worse than every event. There’s a plethora of issues that happened throughout this year with plenty of things that really affected me, so I really hope you’ll understand (If not, it’s fine, nobody cares about these posts anyway).

When I was writing this draft, I put some titles to better indicate myself and to not forget about the important topics I want to talk about, and at some point I was debating myself whether or not I should leave these titles, but as I was writing without the titles when I got to certain topics, I realized how disorganized this post was looking, so I’m definitely putting these titles back as part of the actual post. I’ll probably do this in every New Year post too. Anyway, let’s start!

Quarantine and mental health: Let’s talk about the current situation we live in, quarantine. A lot of people miss being outside and being social, although to be honest, I’m not really missing out on anything, my family and I rarely go outside and we love staying indoors all the time anyways, except for going to the cinema, and the lockdown wasn’t really that strict in my town.

The best part of the quarantine was at one point my mom decided that I wouldn’t do online classes for my fine arts school since it’s not very convenient to learn stuff at home, and while I partially agree, the main reason why I didn’t want to continue studying is probably because I lost care about it, I’m always so distracted on my phone, I’m always so slow with sculpture and painting, not being able to go to school is the best thing the quarantine could happen... Except... There’s still some priority with my older sister, and when September came, it was time for the homeworks once again, my worst nightmare...

Doing my older sister’s homeworks really bring the worst of me, every time my mom always tells me there’s homework to do, I always say “ugh...” in varying tones and sometimes I get in trouble for it where my mom constantly gets triggered and tells me we must do it for my older sister’s sake, blah blah blah, and always, I shit you not, I ALWAYS fight with my mom when we do homeworks. I try to tell her the do’s and don’ts of how to use the internet and stuff, she sometimes takes too long researching for stuff, she constantly talks while figuring out and changes words when I’m supposed to be writing the things she’s supposed to tell me, I hate doing maps, etc. Just working with her is the absolute worst. I wish I could calm down in every situation, but I just can’t, I always get triggered and I insult my mom in said things.

Sometimes my mom tells me that my angry behavior comes from my lack of sleep, I always insist her that my bad sleep has nothing to do with my angry behavior, it’s the way I am. (Lately my sleep schedule is a bit messy but, like I said, I’m always angry because that’s how I am)

If you’ve been following me for a while and looked at how I tweet and interact with other Discord servers, you probably would have guessed that my behavior hasn’t gotten any better, and indeed it hasn’t. Of course I did promise I would change this year by trying to not attack people’s opinions and not being so mad at my mom, but being me as usual, I’m never going to change at all.

I don’t know what’s worse, attacking people’s opinions, or always figting with my mom in what to do with doing my older sister’s homeworks.

Before you tell me stuff like “Why can’t you tell your older sister to do her homeworks herself?” Because she doesn’t care and there’s one particular reason which I’m probably not gonna discuss in detail publicly (Unless you ask me to).

I've recently been hearing stuff about the COVID vaccine coming to Mexico, while that sounds great news, but at the same time, I can't help but have a feeling that I don't have the highest hopes for this and I don't think things would be fine, like, what if someone might be allergic to whatever the vaccine is made of? Not to mention that the vaccine is delivered in syringes, instead of going like the ending of Spider-Man PS4, I have a better idea: Why not try to make planes and spray out the vaccine everywhere so everyone outside can breath it, like it was some sort of pesticide but it has the opposite effect? It's kind of a messed up idea when I brought the pesticide thing, but that's the best thing I could think of.

Novel progress: This is something I was desperately trying to achieve, but the road has become a complete let down. I don’t want to disclose anything about my project, but I actually succeeded in publishing at least the first two chapters of my novel, the prologue and chapter 1, but I’ve been getting some rather harsh criticism in my website that I’m not really fond of, some of them are suggestions I’m not really sure I want to do, and even some that are just destructive, not only on my chapters but even on my blog posts when I’m trying to talk about some changes and other things, even my older sister’s harsh criticism doesn’t help me at all. All the negative comments combined with my eternal procrastination and having NO IDEA what the story even is and trying to figure that out and the monthly gap, I couldn’t help but give up on the project, I haven’t flat out cancelled the project out of my mind, but in terms of making it exist, I put it on hold. Yeah, I was really hurt and I have no idea what to do.

I don’t know about you but I’m just very sensitive about the kind of feedback I got with my project, it’s just something I never asked for and it really hurts me so much, it completely discourages me to keep going

I’ll talk about the future of my project in my resolutions, but the one last thing to say about this is that once my project exists and if I’m become successful, I really hope for once in my life my projects or I won’t get the same treatment as the next topic below.

The Last of Us 2 and YandereDev: This is seriously the most trigger inducing topic I’ve ever had to witness in my life, it’s beyond disgusting.

Literally every time over the last 3 years, everything that I’m interested in always ends up getting some form of backlash for no absolute reason. Fate/Apocrypha in 2017, Venom, Ready Player One and FLCL2&3 in 2018, Captain Marvel in 2019, now it’s TLOU2 in 2020.

First of all, I’m not a huge TLOU person, although I would have watched Let’s Play videos of people playing the first game, and from what I’ve seen, it was beloved by many, and then there’s the iconic “That’s the cutest fucking thing I have seen in my entire life” meme which I didn’t even know it was originated from TLOU to begin with.

The first game is a favorite, so the sequel should be an instant hype, but early this year, I started to see some hate around TLOU2, and it has been going for months, even some of my friends and artists I care about are joining the hate bandwagon for no reason...

LIKE, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???!!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!!!!! EVERYONE, LITERALLY EVERYONE ARE ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING MONSTERS!!!!!!

Literally, some of my friends and even some artists I care about talk shit about TLOU2 and they continue to do so! And then there’s other people I do care about like YouTubers who do care about TLOU2 and that’s enough to make me happy and I would LOVE to watch their videos but I’m too spoiled and self-conscious about watching TLOU2 videos and like it, so I have no idea whose should should I be on!

And then there’s The Game Awards which a lot of the nominees and even the winners were saturated with TLOU2, I can’t even bother getting into details for this but I definitely expected people to be so mad at TLOU2 winning almost every single award.

Now with how much shit TLOU2 has gotten, the future of the TLOU series which can even affect the upcoming HBO series is not gonna be so bright and everyone have turned against Naughty Dog completely.

You know what the saddest part is? Looking at the hate for TLOU2 makes me think on how will my project can get treated with whatever bullshit I may put with certain characters and other stuff, and that shit is beyond depressing, I absolutely WISH my beloved project I may or may never bring to life can get the same treatment as TLOU2, EVER! NOT EVEN FROM THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT! JUST DON’T!

Please let this shitty year end so no one can ever talk about TLOU2 EVER AGAIN!

Lastly I have to talk about YandereDev, although I wouldn’t like to get into details because I’m probably gonna get crucified that I’m still supporting them. I also don’t have much to comment on them but it really sucks seeing people I have highly regarded going down in infamy. Especially with YandereDev, I still watch KubzScout’s videos about Yandere Simulator and I like seeing how the game is progressing, and sure, YandereDev can be a shitty person but I can’t help but feel for him and his something is something I wish I wouldn’t be when defending my project, like I don’t want to be the next TLOU2 and the next YandereDev. And then I’ve seen some of the most unfunniest memes I’ve seen in my entire life.

Hololive disasters: This isn’t something that necessarily affected me pretty badly, but it’s worth pointing out, kinda like “I’ve seen some shit” situation.

As of late, Virtual YouTubers have become finally become a norm into our modern pop culture and global society as a whole, we’ve all become VTuber simps. Whether it’s Hololive, Nijisanji, Pikamee, Projekt Melody, Artemis of the Blue, everyone’s simping VTubers now.

Out of all the aforementioned groups and independent VTubers, the most popular group is of course Hololive. Hololive as of late has gained a huge following thanks to fan subtitled clips and even the Azur Lane collaboration early this year. Then Hololive English has launched and it became a success, and the biggest Japanese milestone is the 5th generation! But as soon as the 5th gen debuted, things don’t get any sweet with Mano Aloe where she leaked her Live2D before her debut stream and forgot to delete her leak and other things. For something like this seems too outrageous, but with that she completely decided to retire even after she debuted, which was really sad, but what makes it especially furious for me is that Guchico, Aloe’s designer, got his art completely wasted and I doubt he would make another VTuber design for Hololive after this.

Then there’s the infamous Kiryu Coco and Akai Haato Taiwan thing, which I don’t really understand what the hell happened with that, and I don’t want to be too offensive, but that’s kind of retarded on the Chinese part.

There were a plethora of other disasterous events with Hololive but I think those two of Mano Aloe and Coco/Haato Taiwan are the most important worth talking about, this wasn’t quite a good year for Hololive to say the least.

Artists: Another thing I didn’t like throughout this year was the artists, and this isn’t so much about dramas like last year, but I’ve started to hate a number of artists for various reasons, even Custom Maid people.

I’m not gonna call out people’s names, so I’m simply going to tell the actions which really turns me off. On the illustrators side, I got really tired of seeing artists complain about shit that I like and other things, and my absolute least favorite, artists completely being hard on themselves and being hardcore perfectionists. That is one of the worst things I hate seeing to artists, there’s just something about their ranting about their perfectionism and everything else that really turn me off so badly, as for the times they do their “I can’t draw, I hate my drawings” and whatever, it really pisses me off so much, why artists aren’t just happy with what they’re doing?! And to top it all off, they completely neglect their fans’ encouragement and they continue with the same shit over and over! Like, I don’t understand! I just want to see them happy and deliver the best works they can, but if that’s what they really feel all the time, why are they even drawing in the first place? Might as well they should retire for good and then I’m immediately gonna regret saying this afterwards!

Then there's also some of the artists I follow (At least the ones who speak English) who talk shit about some anime, games or movies that I like, and some what I've seen even join in the TLOU2 hate train for no reason like I previously mentioned, which gives me a huge sour taste in my mouth. Sometimes I even went so far arguing with at least two from what I recently remember when one tweeted where he sounded like he was talking ill of Rui Komatsuzaki's art with the Danganronpa x Akudama Drive crossover art, and another one who for some reason doesn't even care about the Azur Lane game, and the biggest irony is that this is an artist that drew Taihou quite a lot, and that thought process is downright stupid! Like, what's even the point of drawing fan arts of the characters from a game which made you successful but made you start to lose care for it to begin with?! You're so stupid!

In short: I hate perfectionists and I hate when artists talk shit on the things I like. Even if I hate the way they are, I just can't let go of them because I still support them for their art, I wish I would simply care for artists for their art and not so much for them (Except for their health and stuff, although I still feel selfish about it), but I've grown too caring for some of them (At least the ones who speak English) that I would occasionally read their tweets about certain things like games, anime, movies, etc, and some of them leave me a sour taste in my mouth.

Then there’s the Custom Maid people, although there’s not much to say but what pisses me off the most in some cases is that they abruptly started to retire and disappear without a trace and there’s not much I can do about that.

Throwing some Koikatsu artists in there as well, I don’t really follow many Koikatsu artists but the one I truly believe was the absolute worst is “renka.” (For some reason he deleted his Twitter, he might have ranted about something about his struggles but glad I didn’t even witness that to even care about him at this point, although his Pixiv is still open) From the very beginning early this year, the dude did some rants about his struggles and other things I can’t even bother to remember, but over the next few months I’ve grown to like the guy, we even followed each other and communicated for a while (That is until for some reason he decided to unfollow me so we’re no longer mutuals), but as of late, his content and his mental state have completely deteriorated, he stopped doing these “Good morning” posts I always interacted with, he abandoned his one OC, and the worst part of renka is that he’s become so hungry for attention and numbers, I mean, his posts always get over 1 thousand likes and he thinks it’s not enough. And the one thing that broke my heart the most about talking to this guy, I made these collab screenshots (Or just some よその子 (Yosonoko, someone else's OC) screenshots I did for fun) and renka never even bothered interacting with them. No likes, no retweets, no replies, NOTHING! The dude for no reason completely neglects my screenshots I did for fun, these screenshots I made are probably the screenshots I'm the least proud of ever making, the dude was so ungrateful, fuck the guy. Then there's also the time where renka out of the blue blocked a Custom Maid person I interacted with, which gives me more reason to not care about the guy.

I seriously wish I can at least counter some artists' opinions very often and to not get discouraged, basically virtually slapping in their faces like I always want, but I really wish people wouldn't take me as if I'm threatening them with a strong tone (Though sometimes I do it on purpose) to the point I would get instantly blocked, even when I try to make a rather innocent disagreement. This is all for directly interacting with these artists, in my private server, I ALWAYS talk shit to them behind their backs, their art and the artists themselves.

And yeah, even if I were to start drawing regularly and I face the same struggles the artists have which makes me an absolute hipocrite, but the thing is I’m still so inexperienced with digital art and the artists I care about are hella experienced, it’s completely ironic and it’s just frustrating to watch!

Private Discord server and downfall: Probably the most heartbreaking thing that happened to me and I have ever done this year. In 2018, for a while I’ve constantly been making test servers just to copy and paste some things and I always ended up deleting them afterwards, but one day I somehow have finally decided to make a server that’ll stay forever, and indeed has been which has become my personal journal where I can freely and privately talk about some things where I wouldn’t publicly do so in Twitter mainly for my controversial tone and opinions.

In 2020, a few months ago, I started bringing some people into my server, although one time I did bring someone to take a quick look at it and got out afterwards, but this time the people I brought were friends I recently made and the ones I care about now, which they happen to be Custom Maid creators and an artist (The following links contain NSFW content, click at your own risk), such as Ten Speed (Who was the only person active mainly because he’s the only second English speaking person, he’s a Filipino), hinosuna (Main account, he’s been using this more nowadays since June 30th, he seemingly retired from doing Custom Maid content), ryuuunnji, Shimotsuki Nagomi and Maidin (Who at the time he was about to delete his Twitter account for some drama, I asked him to make a Discord to better communicate rather than using Pixiv, then the Twitter account was remade into what you see in the link, no communication, screenshot posting only).

On December 4th, however, things started to take a dive. ryuuunnji had left the server, I asked him on the Twitter DM about it and he has indeed left the server because he wasn’t very active on it, which makes me sad. With that being said, it came into my mind that I would start trying to kick out the other inactive members of my server, so I tagged Nagomi and Hinosuna about it but to no response, but then I DM’d Maidin on his personal and communicational account, I was asleep for a few hours, I woke up and I found out he has cut ties with me. He softblocked me on Twitter, he blocked me on Discord, he deleted the MEGA link that contained all his screenshots (which I didn’t get a chance to download some of them, and I really hope he didn’t delete the collab screenshots he made with my characters), all of that without prior warning... Notihng. This put me in a really awful position.

Maidin and I had a pretty good history, I always liked, retweeted and interacted to his tweets, I brought him into my server because of some struggle he was having and we did interact a little bit in the server for a while,

This happened similarly to another Custom Maid creator known as gg_colombia, I made a TierMaker of ranking Custom Maid creators I follow and some I don’t but still know, even throwing a bit of Koikatsu people, where I put a friend of Colombia in the “Die” tier because that person I put in that tier blocked me a day after my birthday after telling them that my birthday happened the day after in Mexico and I got blocked for no reason, and apparently Colombia got really angry and blocked me, I communicated with other creators who followed me to vent my problem, and somehow Colombia and I eventually settled. But with Maidin... It seems like he really doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, I’m pretty sure I broke his heart. To this day I’m still trying really hard to contact him in different ways but he completely neglects me, and that really sucks how much I think about how I have instantly turned him against me, it’s just sad.

And then I got blocked by Maidin for good on the 28th after tweeting him begging to follow me again which makes things even worse now, at least I’m still not blocked on Pixiv, but I’m not having any high hopes for that, I’ve had enough.

I should never take Japanese people for granted, and I should never invite anyone into my private server ever again.

This one action that completely messed me up so bad, one of the moments that truly make me question my sanity, my being and my overall existence. I was pretty depressed for that entire weekend, it got me thinking for a while I really want to leave behind my current social media accounts and start from scratch with a new identity and stuff, but I got tired of doing that and when I got blocked some people, I didn’t care anymore, but now it’s coming back.

In late November, I made a Twitter thread ranting about my history of deleting accounts and even wanting to do the same thing over and over again as well as the cons for doing so. Now that I think about it, I don’t think it should even matter about the names I will use, it depends on the kind of person I actually am, and even though I try to change and try to be different, someone’s gotta be bound to recognize me for some things I might post or something. I’m also paranoid that people won’t support me at all, not as Hajime Komaeda, not as my pen name, but me in real life as a whole, no matter the names I go by.

I always think about doing aggressive call-outs to some people like it’s no big deal, but then when it comes to the execution, I get in very big trouble for it and I always feel bad, but now, I got what I deserved. 3 long years having the same problem with people’s opinions combined with telling a friend they were being kicked to my Discord server which left him heartbroken, not to mention always ALWAYS being aggressive towards my mom every time we do my older sister’s homeworks, I’m a really messed up person who doesn’t deserve to exist in this world. I don’t want to be a burden nor lose friends any longer.

Even if I've grown really close to Ten, there were times that we did argue and dear god, I really hope I won't get too salty about what we talk about, I don't want to break friendships any longer, especially towards someone who's now my #1 friend, fuck everyone else I talked with before.

Now, let’s move on to the more somewhat positive side of things throughout this year.

The positives

Pixelbuster and Phan-Site: Probably the best thing to come out of this year is Pixelbuster getting cancelled. Although I haven’t gotten a chance to witness this mess live as it was happening, I was asleep for a couple of hours, I woke up and started checking Twitter on my phone and I saw a tweet from MysticDistance talking about Pixelbuster and a couple of retweets and I was like “Holy shit, Pixelbuster is getting owned!” and his Discord server was gone, and with that said, I blocked Pixelbuster in Discord as well.

If you don’t remember, Pixelbuster was under controversy from some people at gaming news site Final Weapon where Pixel took advantage of their name to get free games with codes from developers. So yeah, that was quite a shitty move, but in all honesty, to this day I still feel like I don’t give a shit about that, when the controversy happened, I just capitalized in ranting about why Pixelbuster was so unlikeable, I made a post about it as well for more details as to why I hated him.

I was asleep for a few hours and I didn’t get a chance to see his downfall happen at the very moment, when I woke up, his Discord server was already gone and I wanted to see the shitstorm that happened in there, but it’s all gone.

PIxel even tried going back into social media to apologize to some people I assume he got blocked by under the name SpookyLava/Sp00kyLava with a picture of Sucy from Little Witch Academia as his profile picture. Of course this did not go well as people immediately started calling him out, and just like that, he completely disappeared without a trace for good. I don’t think I’ve seen any activity or a word from Pixel as far as I know, so he’s completely gone and I really hope I wouldn’t see him ever again.

A little while ago I came across his Nitomatta Twitter account being open for some reason, I can’t verify for sure this is Pixel himself since there’s only this one tweet that simply says some laughter and then Soul Kiwami’s tweet of the TwitLonger about Final Weapon’s experience working with Pixel that for some reason is actually pinned (Wait, how is it possible to pin someone else’s tweets? Don’t you simply pin your own tweets? How the hell does this work?), it’s even stranger when this account has been open and the one tweet where posted around the time the controversy happened.

As much as I hated Pixelbuster so much and I hated reading his tweets constantly complaining about the current media and franchises that I had muted Pixel for a while before the controversy happened, sometimes I can’t help but wonder what is actually Pixelbuster up to now, like for example, does he play Genshin Impact? There were other things that came into my mind, but the Genshin Impact thing is the one thing I have in mind the most.

The only thing I ever liked about Pixel were his shitposts, sometimes he was funny and I retweeted his memes. He also even got retweeted by some Japanese artists, including the creator of Pop Team Epic, bkub Okawa, where he retweeted a clip posted by Pixelbuster, I can’t remember what video was it exactly, maybe it might have been a Resident Evil 3 mod video or something.

To Pixelbuster, if you’re still here and you’re possibly reading this: GET FUCKED!

Next is Phan-Site and this one was quite a surprise. For a while I grew uninterested with Phan-Site’s Twitter, so I muted him. His Discord server also didn’t do any favors for me, so sometimes I did my usual complaining about people’s opinions and just being angry, after some time being inactive and just for my feeling of uninterest, I left the server.

Although not everything about Phan-Site’s Discord was necessarily bad, as I met Emanuel Gracia, a Persona fanfiction writer who I actually looked up to the guy for his writing skills and motivation, I never necessarily read his fanfictions (Sometimes I did take a peak at his Persona Next Gen fanfic, or as it’s now called Persona Grand Legacy, for reference in how to write novels), but sometimes I did give him some info about my top secret project as a symbol of trust as writers and I’m even in his Discord server as a mod.

(Gracia, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry)

Although our friendship is not going to last long after two years and by the time this post is published, it’s most likely going to happen because I grew completely dissatisfied with the guy and his Twitter for my same problem of hating to see his opinions and talks shit about other things I like so I muted him as well, and probably the worst of him is his fixation with One Piece, he’s so fixated to it that he treats it like god and he uses it to shit on My Hero Academia and possibly other modern Shounen (Though he utterly criticizes MHA the most) which really pisses me off. Not to mention I’m pretty toxic in his server with the same stuff I vent over and over and some other problems, so it really doesn’t help.

Anyways, back to Phan-Site, the controversy happened when MysticDistance posted a tweet of a screen video capture of his voice message from Phan-Site which I’m probably not gonna link the tweet because it’s quite scary to listen to, but what I can say is that Phan-Site definitely wasn’t in a good mood, as he was threatening Mystic to answer his phone in a very angry voice.

After that tweet was posted, Phan-Site disappeared just like that. The last thing I remember is someone taking up the mantle of the Phan-Site Facebook page, but some people were telling this person to better delete the account so the brand wouldn’t continue any longer because of what happened, and that’s it, haven’t heard anything about Phan-Site or the person behind him ever since.

After Pixelbuster and Phan-Site disappeared, it made me realize that I wouldn’t like to ever follow or even associate with these kinds of bigshots ever again, neither RedMakuzawa nor UltimaShadowX, or any other of these accounts in general, not even Karoshi of all people who I’m still somewhat attached for some reason, because they’re often very bland, they often tweet opinions in a very harsh and gatekeeping tone, etc. I just really hate these kinds of people, I don’t wanna see them nor I wanna be friends with them if they’re gonna talk shit about the stuff I love.

The Boys: This is something I never expected to do, but it was something I wanted to do for a long time when season 1 came out. One day, I heard my mom and my older sister having a conversation where instead of watching shitty YouTube videos, she should at least watch some series, and that got me thinking about it and somehow I randomly went to Amazon, subscribe for Prime, check Amazon Prime Video and I immediately saw The Boys on the homepage and I started watching it, and boy, I’m so hooked on it and I seriously wish I could have seen the series sooner!

And the most unexpected part is that this is my first time watching an exclusive series in a streaming platform, completely legally! I would normally go to some random pirated websites like swatchseries or whatever where I would pretty much watch everything, but not with The Boys, I actually paid for Amazon Prime Video, well, it was my first time being subscribed to Prime so my first subscription was for free. The best part of watching The Boys using Amazon Prime Video is that I can actually turn on the subtitles and even change the language dubs, so sometimes I watched a little bit of the series with Japanese dub, though I prefer watching the series in the original English language with English subtitles on, but it’s fun watching the series in Japanese dub. (Unrelated but at some point I rewatched Venom in Amazon Prime Video and I was sad that it doesn’t have Japanese dub in there)

I actually started watching The Boys a few days before season 2 even began, so I managed to watch the first season just in time and then I definitely watched season 2 weekly (Except for the finale, I did have to go to swatchseries for the finale because I wouldn’t use Amazon Prime for the rest of October).

Things get more hype when the news of No More Heroes 3 being delayed were being released, Suda51 also stated that he happened to hire the comic artist of The Boys, and I went all-out fanboying my ass off, it’s the best thing that has ever happened to my life by a mere coincidence of watching The Boys!

To end things off, I’ve been very frustrated with Agents of SHIELD and The Blacklist. The final season of Agents of SHIELD started off interestingly, but then until the second half of the final season was an absoltue let down, it was meh, I’m so glad Agents of SHIELD is over, the era of Marvel TV shows that made references to the MCU but weren’t even allowed to have crossovers anymore is over, and now with the Disney+ shows, we’re finally getting the TRUE MCU connected and crossover shows we deserve!

Then there’s The Blacklist, and oh boy, don’t even get me started on that series because lately it has gone consistently shit, and things get worse when in November, they literally premiered the first two episodes and then the series will continue in January 22nd which is too far and too long of a break for a season that came out this November! Not to mention that they literally recast Dom after the original actor passed away a few months ago, but only to kill him off in the second episode of the premiere, this was an absolute waste of a recast! After the original actor passed away, I always thought they would leave Dom in a coma and write him off of the show, but no, they decided to recast a new actor to continue the character and his story one last time, and then they did this shit, write the character again only for two episodes and the rest is history!

Elizabeth couldn’t have put a better way to describe my feelings on the show lately with this scene!

I don’t really know for sure what’s my future of watching The Blacklist is going to be, this episode was so bad that I ranted how bad it is to the point where I said “I’m done watching this show,” I mean, I really want to stop watching this show, I want to drop it, I want to stop caring about it, but once the season returns, I’m gonna feel so bad about missing out what’s going on in the story when I may come across tweets from the official Twitter account of the show. And then there’s this Japanese article where Nijisanji Vtuber, Shizuka Rin or ShizuRin, actually appeared and she watches The Blacklist! But even that doesn’t do me any favors to continue watching this shit any longer!

So yeah, fuck Agents of SHIELD! Fuck The Blacklist! The Boys is my new favorite TV show and I will never get tired of it! I love The Boys, I love these kinds of adult rated superhero stuff with gore, strong language, sex scenes and such, it makes me think of Kick-Ass!

Other major events: There are also some major events I forgot to address in last year’s New Year post, like the US Elections, the death of Adobe Flash and even the next gen consoles.

Then there’s the US Elections, although I don’t have much to say and I normally don’t care about politics in general, let alone foreign politics, but I’m glad we won’t have Trump again, although I’m not sure if I might have heard great things about John Biden but at least I wanted someone other than Trump. Now for Mexico, I’ll have to wait 4 more years to get a new president and remove AMLO, although Mexican presidents are always useless.

Next is the death of Adobe Flash Player, today is finally the day for to say our prayers to Flash, let’s press F to pay respects. There were also some news that Flash playback will stop being supported on January 12th 2021, which makes it even sadder because there’s still some things that still use Flash, like some really ancient Newgrounds stuff and even Chaturbate (Yeah, this is a little weird, I normally don’t use the site often but I had once for Projekt Melody), I even recently watched an old Madness fan cartoon that is now deleted on Newgrounds onto the Wayback Machine and Firefox asked me to use Flash, so I did that. And this current version of Firefox, version 84, is the last one to support the Adobe Flash Player.

Hopefully there will be some good alternatives to play some old SWF Flash content, like Ruffle which is an open source Flash emulator that is actually sponsored by Newgrounds of all people, and I recently found a tweet from Tom Fulp that Newgrounds will soon be using Ruffle. The demo page of the website even allows you to play the original Alien Hominid game before the remaster comes out, it’s not perfect but at least it’s something. As of the writing of this post on December 23rd, I didn’t know I can actually download the Ruffle extension, I always thought it was something that’ll take a long time to perfect and only has a demo page to test it out, but they actually have some download links for the standalone program and even browser extentions, although it’s probably still not the first major release or anything, it might be something (I tried but for some reason Firefox wouldn’t let me download the extension).

Oh, and speaking of deaths, let’s press F to pay respects to Chadwick Boseman, Keiji Fujiwara and HorribleSubs. To Chadwick Boseman, especially, this was quite a shock he’s had colon cancer for the last 4 years, he fought quite a long battle like a true warrior, Wakanda Forever! And Keiji Fujiwara amd Kobe too, god damn, we lost a lot of great ones this year!

As for the console next gen, the Playstation 5 and the Xbox Series X/S, although we’ll stick to PS5 because I’ve always been a Playstation person, don’t judge me. This is something I’m not quite fond of it happening now because my biggest problem is that my family bought the PS4 last year and it felt like it was way too late. Sometimes I do feel tempted on wanting to get a PS5 so bad now, but there’s still gonna be some games coming to the PS4 (inb4 people are gonna be playing those PS4 games into the PS5) and there’s still like a shitton of games that I haven’t played in years and who knows if my older sister and I are gonna have time to play them all. it’s still gonna have some time left because there will be games coming to the PS5 entirely for good in like 3 or 4 years. Looks like I’ll have to wait for another 6 years to own the PS5, and then the next year, the PS6 would be released.

Really the only thing that could have sold me on the PS5 is if it was colored black and most importantly, if it was actually fully backwards compatible with every Playstation game, that could have been an absolute win so I could have replayed some PS2 games I still own, but sadly it’s not.

Home improvements: We’ve also had some home improvements, like adding a gate around my bedroom’s hallway where the staircase goes so my dogs won’t annoy me at my door, but the biggest improvement we’ve made is finally upgrading our internet modem and we finally got proper home Wi-Fi... For better and for worse.

I didn’t know I wanted this to happen but it was about time to upgrade our internet, but the results have been mixed. On one hand, I guess the internet is mostly the same, it’s not faster or anything but at least we finally got proper Wi-Fi on our house, but at the same time, the Wi-Fi can be absolute garbage especially when it barely reaches my bedroom which I’m in the second floor and that doesn’t make sense considering we live in a small house and even if I’m on top, the router should be closer to me! When I’m really frustrated with the Wi-Fi’s poor signal, I continue to use the Windows 10 mobile hotspot thing which I’ve been using for years. Not to mention that my internet on my laptop goes on and off randomly and that really annoys me, I swear when we had our old router, this didn’t happen before.

Despite these problems, at least it’s better than having no internet in FOREVER when the lights go out like it happened with our old router. Sometimes the Wi-Fi signal works, but sometimes it doesn’t, it drives me insane. That is until I finally decided I would start using the Wi-Fi for my laptop since as of the writing of this post in the 29th, the Wi-Fi has been working rather nicely, the speed of my Wi-Fi on my laptop so far is kinda the same as my ethernet, so hopefully it’ll be fine. Until the Wi-Fi goes slow, I’m switching back to the ethernet.

As of the publishing of this post, I haven’t gotten any problem with using the Wi-Fi and that makes me jump into the conclusion that my issue with having my internet randomly turn on and off really comes from my ethernet cable. Sometimes I did run into some slow uploading problems but most of the Wi-Fi is fine.

That’s all I have to discuss about my life this year, it was an absolute disaster and even I do think I wish I was dead, I didn’t want to exist in this planet any longer yet I continue to fight and suffer through a lot of things. What do I even want to accomplish by arguing people by forcing my opinions against theirs and stuff? Power and attention, but it never turns out like I want. People tell me over and over not to care about what people say, but I continue ignoring and doing the same fight with no success over and over, my problem is indeed that I’m too caring. Yes, I’m too caring about everything, and ignorance is almost never my solution. There’s seriously nothing I can do about it.

Anyway, here’s a silly meme about my 2020 to enlighten this up.

Best and worst of the year and anticipated releases

Let’s finally move on to my favorite part of making these New Year posts, the good old top best lists and most anticipated releases of whatever media I love! This year is going to be a little different, as I’m making these top best lists of each category, I’ll be talking about the most anticipated releases of the same categories I talk about simultaneously! And looking at the upcoming releases, 2021 is looking to be the most lit year ever!

Better keep in mind that not all releases could be for 2021, they may be bound to be delayed to 2022 or beyond.

Top 15 best anime of the year

I already have my top 4 contenders figured out for quite a while (Which you’ll find out), but as usual, figuring out the rest is quite difficult. At first I thought I had this list to top 10 maximum but now I got some perfect candidates to make this a top 15 list instead, a little shorter than last year’s with 20, but it’s worth it.

15.- Watanuki-san Chi To: It’s probably gonna be a permanent pattern where the Watanuki-san Chi series (if it’ll get more seasons, that is) will always be the first, or the bottom depending on how you read these top lists, since it’s a dorama and not an “anime,” but it’s still a good series regardless. And no it’s not honorable mention worthy because I really like the Watanuki-san Chi series.

Also, there are many people who make subtitled highlight clips of various VTubers, why aren’t they making fansubs of Watanuki-san Chi To or no streaming platform has picked up the series yet? smh.

14.- Eizouken

13.- Hentatsu (TV): I’m usually biased to Tatsuki’s works now that should have been amongst the top 3, and not to say this series is rather disappointing (I would never call any of Tatsuki’s works disappointing, bad or worst), but given that this is a short series, let alone EXTREMELY short with 1 minute and 30 seconds long (The size of openings and endings), I feel like it wasn’t enough.

There’s also this one episode in the TV series that is kind of the same as the one from the web series with some changes, like Tatsuki kinda threw this episode in there to fill the gap anyways.

(Web series - TV series comparison)

I kinda wish this was instead a full fledged TV series for Keifuku-san since Tatsuki tweeted this and even Crunchyroll thought it would be a Keifuku-san series, but he jebaited us all, but I do admit that I admire the troll marketing, that was quite an unexpected move.

Now it seems like we’re gonna have to wait until 2022 so we see a new Tatsuki release, I hope it is the Keifuku-san series that was supposedly teased, but if it’s gonna be another remake of Tatsuki’s old works like Kemurikusa or a brand new series, I’m down for whatever it may be.

(Also, let me painfully remind you that Tatsuki will never make Kemurikusa 12.2, so whatever happened at 12.1 will remain as a cliffhanger)

12.- Uzaki-chan wa Asobitai

11.- Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter season 2

10.- Osomatsu-san season 3

8.- Magia Record: I don’t know about Magia Record as a game with its story, and in my opinion this one is probably not as messed up or even “revolutionary” as the main series back in the day, but it’s still an interesting series. regardless. I also reward Magia Record for having the Best Anime Soundtrack of the Year! Just listen to this masterpiece!

8.- Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni Gou

7.- Kaguya-sama season 2

6.- D4DJ First Mix: Sanzigen absolutely dominated this year with a ton of releases I never knew I needed, but with all these releases, we’ll have to pick TWO of the very best for this list BanG Dream season 3 and D4DJ, but first, we’ll start off with D4DJ First Mix!

I have made pretty much all the Sanzigen shows of the year but Bandori season 3 as A-tier anime (While the aforementioned Bandori S3 is S-tier), this was going to be another A-tier anime for the sake of being a new franchise, but after watching 5 episodes of the series, it already changed my mind that this is S-tier, I’m liking the concept and the characters very much!

5.- BanG Dream! season 3: Bandori season 3 is in my opinion is the series’ best season, mainly because I’ve been waiting for the plotline of Rokka being a member of RAS since I researched in the Wiki and stuff and saw these images of RAS that has Rokka in it, and this season overall made me like RAS a lot more, I would go so far to say that their chemistry and development are more interesting than their songs, not that I don’t like them or anything but I haven’t gotten the time to listen to them in Spotify.

But with my new-found love for RAS came at a cost and it was not very good: Their wasted potential in Garupa Pico Ohmori, you’ll find out why in my list of Worst Anime of the Year above.

4.- Fruits Basket season 2

3.- Ishuzoku Reviewers

I had trouble deciding on whether or not Ishuzoku Reviewers or Fruits Basket season 2 would be third place.

On one hand, Ishuzoku Reviewers is the most risk-taking and controversial ecchi series I’ve seen with very good hentai-worthy sex scenes and the series really speaks out to me the most since I’ve grown to have a very NSFW image, particularly with my few Custom Order Maid 3D2 content as well as my daily retweet spam of everything NSFW. With Fruits Basket, the story and character development continues to fascinate me and I can’t wait to see the final season next year.

But on the other hand, and mainly with Ishuzoku Reviewers, there are the cons like the show being biased with disgusting fetishes and even elfcist (That’s kind of a weird word I came up with. To put it better: elf discrimination), with Fruits Basket, I really don’t have much problems with the series overall except for the Student Council characters, they’re the absolute worst (Except Machi, she’s a good girl), and then there’s episode 9 of the season with Kyo talking to Akito and that was absolutely painful to watch (The main reason why is because the episode was too dark for me idk).

2.- ID:INVADED:To this day I still can’t get over how amazing the series is, from its animation from a struggling studio, to its story which actually got me a bit into theory crafting, my theories didn’t get paid off nor they were answered in the series which leads to plot holes, but I was very fascinated for the series.

1.- Akudama Drive: This is my grand savior of 2020, this is the one Tookyo Games project I was excited the most since the studio was founded and announced three other projects! Yes, call me biased due to my old love for Danganronpa, but I love this show! So much so that I would occasionally tell an old friend of mine to watch the series, I haven’t asked him too much about it nowadays, but I doubt he would still watch the series because he’s quite busy.

Honorable mentions

Sakura Wars: The Animation and Argonavis from BanG Dream: Counting double because they’re both Sanzigen shows. And they probably would have been in my main list, probably make one entry focused on all Sanzigen shows, but I had to pick Bandori season 3 and D4DJ separately if only Sanzigen didn’t abuse the hand drawn background characters way too much in Sakura Wars: The Animation, and the atrocious episode 13 of Argonavis.

Heya Camp

Nekopara

Brand New Animal

Attack on Titan The Final Season: I’m not convinced this has got to be Best Anime of 2020 material based on 4 episodes alone, I’m still going to wait until the series ends so I can officially declare this as Best Anime of 2021.

Aggretsuko season 3

Munou na Nana

Arknights Holy Knight Light: This came out in the 1st anniversary livestreams for global Arknights, which was around Christmas Eve. But despite the timing of the release, this is actually more like a New Year mini anime special, so it’s definitely worth rewatching a billion times every New Year!

Fate Grand Carnival: LAST MINUTE POST-PUBLISH EDITING BUT YOOOOOOOOOOOO, A BRAND NEW CARNIVAL PHANTASM WITH FGO SKIN?! SIGN ME UP!

OH WAIT, THERE WILL BE A SERIES TOO IN SUMMER?! LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(Source)

AFTER A YEAR WITH A DISAPPOINTING FATE SPECIAL IN 2019 WITH NOTHING BUT PURE FGO BABYLONIA, NOT ONLY THEY DELIVERED A TOTALLY NEW FATE SPECIAL ANIMATION, BUT ALSO A BRAND NEW CARNIVAL PHANTASM SERIES!!! BEST OF ALL, IT’S LERCHE THAT’S DOING THIS SERIES AGAIN! THE KING RETURNS!!!

OF COURSE THIS OVA ITSELF IS S TIER AND I’LL INCLUDE IT IN THE WINTER 2021 TIER!

Dishonorable mentions

Donkyuu Hentai HxEROS - Worst: This is my #1 dishonorable mention because, first of all, I should point out that pretty much the entire series is rather okay, in fact, it’s got some pretty good fanservice scenes (despite the jarring censors), I did like the series a bit and shouldn’t be considered the “worst” of the year, but there’s one character in particular who pretty much kills my interest in the series:

I stressed enough how much I hate Kirara to death! I’m not even gonna go bother going into details as to why do I hate Kirara, you can either read my previous anime review posts to see why do I absolutely hate her. She was truly painful to watch.

I have quite a list of waifus but I never necessarily hated a waifu ever, sure, there are those I don’t like or care but they’re not hate or worst worthy, but Kirara has become the first waifu I would officially call her as the worst waifu EVER. End of story.

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Danmachi season 3 and Castlevania season 3: Both have delivered some storylines I wasn’t particularly fond with (In the case of Castlevania S3, this is my unpopular opinion given that it was otherwise well-received), but that doesn’t mean they’re flat out disappointing like the following list.

Top 6 disappointing and worst anime of the year

6.- Welcome to the Japari Park season 2 - Disappointing: For a while I was kinda sad and wondering when will there be new episodes so the series can continue where episode 24 left off with Ceval being launched into Riukiu region, that is until on April 26th, I randomly found out the series was continuing, I was really excited to see the series continue! I was quite happy with the series returning and all, but what’s the catch with this second season (?) being so disappointing? Well, for the sole reason that this season is one cour shorter than the first season, lots of plot holes and rushed pacing that makes this final season unsatisfying (Given that this is a short series after all),

The problem is I didn’t know this was going to be the final season of the series, although I should have seen it coming from the very beginning but halfway through, it was time for the endgame.

So, after Welcome to the Japari Park ended, what about the future of Kemono Friends in the anime side of things? Should we expect a third Kemono Friends season this 2021? Although there hasn’t been signs of a third Kemono Friends season coming and it’s still debatable whether or not it should be a continuation of the first two seasons or make it an adaptation of the game with the same name, which it’s extremely baffling that the game called “Kemono Friends 3″ exists in the first place (Maybe it is the third Kemono Friends game in the series? I don’t know).

5.- BanG Dream! Garupa Pico Ohmori - Disappointing: I never watched the Garupa Pico series, so when Ohmori was announced, or rather, announced that RAISE A SUILEN and Morfonica were announced to appear in the series, I had to binge through the first season, and it was... Okay? I mean, it seems like a good series but I wasn’t really impressed.

I never knew there was a second season happening, that is until I randomly checked AIR’s Twitter and they posted a tweet of Garupa Pico Ohmori having a new visual that features RAS and Morfonica, which that means RAS and Morfonica are confirmed to appear in the series. I was of course excited to see RAS in this comedy spin-off, along with a band I haven’t seen in the main anime series yet, but one of the upcoming movies is going to feature Morfonica. Now, after seeing that AIR tweet, I don’t want to get into detail, but I saw a reply of some rando saying “The good Bandori series is here!” and I went into an argument with the guy, and the dude annoyingly repeats the word “Forced drama” to the main Bandori series. I was quite pissed throughout all that morning, but thankfully I didn’t become spoiled and my opinion on the main Bandori anime series hasn’t changed.

Anyways, moving on to actually talk about the series, it started quite strangely with an alien artifact of a guitar and all of a sudden the town where the girls usually go to CiRCLE has turned into a city with CiRCLE being nowhere to be found, the next few episodes were nothing really special, but then we finally got into episode 7 where it finally introduces RAS and Morfonica, I was so excited seeing my girls RAS appearing in the chibi spin-off series, episode 10 came out and it had Rei, which was nice and all, but then as more episodes went on and on, there was another episode that featured CHU2 and Pareo which is episode 22, the finale came which the RAS girls showed up again, and... I just realized... THEY ABSOLUTELY WASTED RAS AND THEY NEVER GOT A DEDICATED EPISODE! Even Morfonica of all bands actually got a dedicated episode for fuck’s sake! (Episode 19)

This is an absolute embarrassment, I grew to love RAS so much since Bandori season 3, I didn’t know the second season of Garupa Pico was coming which was announced for some time and they happened to reveal RAS and Morfonica, which leads me to believe they were never meant to have as much screentime like I hoped they would be, but they absolutely did RAS so dirty, I hate this!

I may be fixated the new characters, so what about the rest of the series with the original characters? Well, there’s not much to say other than for this season, I couldn’t care less for the OG cast as much as the new bands like I wanted to, and sometimes I did laugh into some episodes, but I wasn’t really impressed with the series AT ALL, like about 80% I didn’t find the humor at all.

So yeah, this was quite a disappointing season with not only being not very funny and interesting, but also wasting new characters, especially the one band I grew to love in Bandori S3. And to the guy I argued about the main Bandori anime series where he constantly said “forced drama” and he called the Garupa Pico series as “the good Bandori series,” I’m sorry but this ain’t it, chief.

One thing I do gotta compliment the series for is how nice the animation is, but also introducing Morfonica into the anime media before the main series did and after the Second Live film, I really hope Sanzigen could make a fourth season so it’ll properly introduce Morfonica into the series and that’s where I would start caring about them.

Speaking of Sanzigen, for some reason I always neglected this series in particular when talking about how many other shows Sanzigen released this year, at least the CG ones. And yes, believe it or not, the Garupa Pico series is actually made by Sanzigen, or at least co-produced by Sanzigen since there’s other studios attached, so this is more of a miscellaneous release compared to the rest of Sanzigen’s library that came out this year, the CG shows.

4.- Toji no Miko Tomoshibi - Worst: The Toji no Miko franchise continues to fail to impress me, and this OVA doesn’t really do any favors, the second part of the OVA completely bleed out my interest for its horrible writing and animation.

3.- Guraburu - Worst: Throughout the year, Cygames has released a couple of trash adaptations this year, but first let’s talk about Guraburu.

At first I thought this is the most offensively bad Cygames anime I watched, but it’s a little extreme, the better word I would describe this series is “bland” because everything about it is bland. The tone and direction seems awkward but the animation is almost Queen Bee-tier bad.

This is one media I truly think it should have stayed as it is and didn’t need to be brought to life in anime.

2.- Princess Connect Re:Dive - Worst: At first I thought Guraburu is the more offensively bad Cygames anime I watched this year but bland is kind of a different level of bad, but this one gave me a sour taste in my mouth. The series is pretty much a Konosuba wannabe, from the tone and goofy minor character designs, it just really turns me off, it just feels like this is not for me.

To make matters worse, it’s getting a second season this 2021, well, let’s see if this will make me feel better or worse with this adaptation.

One person who randomly found me on Twitter told me that this anime is more of a prologue for the non-Priconne players and doesn’t spoil some of the major arcs, I’m not sure if I can verify that since I haven’t really played Priconne but I’ll take it as a solid opinion to attack me for talking shit about the Priconne anime.

I’ve kind of come to realize that Cygames and their IPs don’t really resonate well with me at all, I’m probably not the biggest Cygames person or maybe I’ve grown to have a very complicated relationship with Cygames as a whole which makes me think I don’t even like how they’ve grown into. Probably the anime I’m okay with is Manaria Friends, in retrospect before I rewatch it, I think it was an alright series, but what I will never forget about the anime is how the series was originally gonna come out in 2016 but was delayed for 3 long years and I think that fact alone is more interesting than the series itself.

And for one last time, don’t even get me started on the Shadowverse anime, the way it is, is automatically trash because it’s not like the Shadowverse game I’ve seen my older sister play occasionally, and they even made a game based on this and I’m even shocked the series lasted this long. Glad I didn’t even watch it and thank god it’s about to end soon.

Interestingly, the English version of Priconne is coming out in 2021, with Crunchyroll Games handling the localization. While it’s interesting the game is finally getting localized after 3 years the game came out in Japan, but Crunchyroll Games doesn’t have quite a good history with their games, especially since the whole Danmachi game censorship false advertising controversy from 2018, so I don’t think I might have high hopes of playing the game if they might have any potential features removed, not to mention having THREE years of content behind from the JP version, this is worse than waiting 2 years for FGO content from JP to EN. Besides, I don’t even have space to play the game on my phone because it’s saturated with FGO, Azur Lane, Arknights and 5 thousand screenshots (Which I stored in my laptop because I didn’t have enough space. Though the only way to fixed the low space was just uninstalling and reinstalling Azur Lane which I did but I wish I didn’t drag all my 5k screenshots and I was trying so hard to put them back but it would take forever, so might as well save my 5k screenshots in my laptop and start from scratch).

1.- Isekai Quartet 2 - Disappointing: If Bandori Garupa Pico Ohmori’s waste of new characters wasn’t bad enough, Isekai Quartet season 2 does it a lot worse and this one in particular completely broke my heart the most, this is indeed the most disappointing anime of the year.

Just the #1 thing to explain why Isekai Quartet 2 let me down: WASTING THE SHIELD HERO CHARACTERS HARD!

Both Garupa Pico Ohmori and Isekai Quartet 2 just wasted the new characters so bad I have trouble on deciding which one’s worse, or if I would make a tie, but I had to go with Isekai Quartet 2 because the more I think about it, the more painful it gets, even more so than Garupa Pico Ohmori.

Garupa Pico Ohmori broke my heart the most because I’ve grown to really like RAS with Bandori season 3 the season prior to Garupa Pico Ohmori, Isekai Quartet 2 broke my heart the most because I binged Shield Hero In December of last year and I really liked it months prior to Isekai Quartet 2, BUT THE WORST PART IS that they COMPLETELY overhyped the Shield Hero characters and they turned out to be minor characters! I can’t believe I’ve grown to really like characters only for their potential in sequel appearances to be absolutely wasted in just a span of months! Not to mention both of the shows are absolutely unfunny and couldn’t care less for the OG cast more than the new characters which I wanted to like so bad if only they didn’t fuck up with their poor screentime.

With Isekai Quartet 3 coming this 2021, even though I will continue watching the series regardless, I don’t have high hopes for the series anymore, if they’ll continue adding new characters from properties I don’t know of or care to even bother binging their anime of origin, they’ll always end up overhyping them only for them to become minor character status.

Most anticipated anime of 2021

There’s like a lot of anime coming out next year and I kind of lost track of what’s coming out so I had to research and refresh my memory, there’s also other announced anime that are yet to resurface into the light of day (And no, don’t expect Girls’ Work, we all know that’s never gonna happen 100%).

In my previous HajiKo Anime Fall 2020 post, I mentioned my anticipated Winter 2021 releases, you can check that out as well, but what I’m going to talk about here is a general most anticipated anime of the year coming out.

Azur Lane Bisoku Zenshin: I talked about this in my previous post which I suggest you to check it out for more in-depth details as to why is this my most anticipated show of the season, but in this case, let me simply put because I love Azur Lane and I want more Azur Lane anime in my life, even if people would hate them or not (Preferably don’t hate on them).

Dr. Stone: Stone Wars: I was seriously amazed by the series and I wish I had watched it sooner or even completely binged the series when I did the first time with the first 3 episodes at some point, although having binged the first season early this month was a pretty good time to do so as the perfect prep for season 2.

Shield Hero season 2: Isekai Quartet 2 may have disappointed me with how hard it wasted the Shield Hero characters by overhyping and making them minor characters, but by surprise, we’re getting the second season which really deserves it!

Evangelion 3.0+1.0: Hopefully no last minute delays this time, and it’s actually about to be screened in Japanese theaters soon, but what matters to me the most is whether we’ll see it just in time for the Mexican release of the film. I’m pretty sure every Mexican is gonna be thriving so hard seeing this film given my some of my previous anime film experiences in the cinema.

There’s no way Mexico wouldn’t have Evangelion 4.0, it’s one of the most celebrated franchises in the world, probably not in the same vein as Dragon Ball which is overly popular in Mexico, and Evangelion 4.0 probably won’t have that high of a marketing or having a lot of cinemas available to my theaters, even with just one or two cinemas available, they’ll end up being filled to completely and a lot of people will scream their asses of in what’s going to happen.

Fate/Grand Carnival (Series): The best and most insane Type-Moon comedy series returns! But this time it’s all FGO-centered now!

Given that the old Carnival Phantasm was all Fate with Melty-Blood, not everyone may like the direction of this series given that FGO is a huge success. BUT WHO CARES?! I LOVE FGO AND I LOVE CARNIVAL PHANTASM, THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!!!

And why is the second season coming out in my older sister’s birthday, August 25th, of all things?!

Kimetsu no Yaiba Infinity Train film: Just hoping for the film being released in Mexico. And I really hope ufotable can continue making seasons or films of the series given that the manga has now ended this year.

I just really hope they don’t make the Kimetsu no Yaiba franchise as another vaporware like Girls’ Work and the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie, although it’s unlikely they’ll do so given that Kimetsu no Yaiba has become a huge blockbuster series as of late, from topping One Piece’s manga sales to the Infinity Train film being the #1 highest grossing film in Japan OF ALL TIME, it’s crazy a Shonen series got to this scale! Fate (specifically the Stay Night series) and Kimetsu no Yaiba are ufotable’s cash cows, so it’s unlikely they would drop them and make them vaporware like their other projects.

Tokyo Babylon: This and Winter 2021′s Project Scard are actually two of GoHands’ TV series I’m excited, although I’m more hyped for Tokyo Bablyon than Project Scard because I would occasionally forget Project Scard’s name, at least the full name, that is until now which I haven’t been forgetting about it.

There’s something I have to address first because this was supposed to come out on April but it got delayed because of costume designs being referenced without permission for some reason, I find this reason incredibly weird and I don’t really understand what the hell is that supposed to mean.

As far as the trailers go, the animation is looking akin to the K series, not exactly the same but somewhere...? Which I think that’s what people are gonna like unlike Project Scard which is in the vein of Hand Shakers and W’z, but I don’t really mind, though.

The fact that this is an adaptation, an anime adaptation of a manga by CLAMP to top it all off, is quite surprising. I haven’t really watched any of GoHands’ adaptations and I’m not sure if I would have the time to do so, but I’m more biased towards the original stuff, and come to think of it, this is actually going to be the first adaptation by GoHands I’m ever going to watch.

B: The Beginning Succession: It’s been 2 long years (at least at the time of writing and publishing of this post) since I watched the first season and I really liked it, back when it was released in 2018, they even announced season 2 was happening and I completely forgot about it for so long!

World’s End Harem: I may or may not have heard good things about the series, probably the tone of the negative reception of the series is more like people are meme-ing this series in a terrified way for its concept or something, all of it in a very funny way, so I’m definitely checking this out. What could go wrong? And I really hope it has better waifus than HxEROS.

Fruits Basket The Final: Now we’ve finally come to the point where this anime is definitely going to adapt the manga finale for good where the original 2001 series couldn’t because the manga hadn’t ended at the time.

As I was researching in the Fruits Basket Wiki, there’s a three chapter arc focused on Shigure, Ayame and Hatori which takes place around the same time as the manga’s finale. This was actually published around the same time the first season of the remake had started airing, I don’t know anything about this and I haven’t read it yet, so I can’t assume if this is worth reading and even worth adapting, although I do wish this is actually adapted in the final season.

Uzaki-chan season 2

Zombieland Saga Revenge: I may have a complicated relationship with Cygames nowadays with their premiere IPs, but the most decent IP they made is this one, and as a birthday present in 2018, I was impressed. Not actually quite what I was expected from looking at the first promo poster, but it was quite an entertaining idol series.

I’m of course excited for the second season and what I’d really love to see the most is paying off the teaser from the final episode, that teaser is too good to be wasted in this season.

SSSS.DYNAZENON: I’d still watch this because it’s a follow-up of sorts to GRIDMAN, but my main gripe would be the character designs, some of them look cool but I’m not very impressed, none of them scream absolute material like Rikka and Akane because boy, there’s really a shitton of fan art and cosplays of them.

The Way of the Househusband/Gokushufudou: I’ve seen a lot of people talking about the manga, they get hyped about it a lot, it’s got a live-action series and now it’s finally getting an anime, so might as well check it out.

Godzilla Singular Point: About time a Godzilla anime that’s not made by Polygon Pictures, and to make things better, this is actually made by Bones AND Orange, talk about a dream team!

Speaking of Polygon Pictures...

Pacific Rim: The Black: This is what Polygon Pictures are currently making, which is coming to 2021 and I might check it out as well, even though I’m pretty lukewarm with Polygon as a studio and the Godzilla films were an absolute mess, what the hell were those? After the widely hated sequel of the original film (Though I actually liked it) and with this upcoming anime, I hope the future of the Pacific Rim franchise can be in good hands, even if it’s from a studio I may have a mixed relationship with.

There’s just something about Polygon that doesn’t sit well with me. Sure, the CG animation can be absolutely gorgeous and even I can admit that they’re way better than Sanzigen and Orange where they don’t even do hand drawn background characters, but something still feels off with me, like the tone or whatever. I’m probably just blindly hating on Polygon years after watching the Godzilla films and I should at least check out HUMAN LOST to get a better impression on Polygon overall.

Kaguya-sama season 3 and OVA: I was very impressed with the second season, so might as well follow the Kaguya-sama series now.

Dragon Maid S: Hopefully what I’m about to say isn’t of bad taste. The Kyoto Animation arson was one of the worst events of 2019, while the majority of the staff members are safe, there are those who did not, including the director of the first season of Dragon Maid.

One year later after millions of dollars in donations, KyoAni seems to be doing fine as of late, with their latest release being Violet Evergarden The Movie which was released this September.

Although I haven’t seen any footage of Violet Evergarden The Movie for me to judge how KyoAni’s animation style after the arson would still hold up. And that’s where the second season of Dragon Maid comes in.

Even though KyoAni isn’t my most favorite anime studio, I do hope they have recovered well and got a handful of new and good staff members so they’ll keep their magic going.

Okay, I’d better stop right there before it can get any worse. NEXT!

Shenmue anime: Shenmue 3 finally came out a few years ago but literally nobody, at least from what I know, have even talked about it, whether it was worth the wait or not, just nothing.

Given that people hate video game adaptations, this in no way shape or form could regain interest in Shenmue, or maybe it will by making people play the games in order to forget about the anime, however it may end up being.

Speaking of video game anime adaptations...

The World Ends With You anime: I never played TWEWY in my life and a lot of people really love the game, and 2021 is looking to be the best year for TWEWY fans with not only this new anime, but also a long-awaited brand new game! (Not sure if I would call it a “sequel” of sorts but it’s 100% a brand new game).

Since this is a game adaptation and usually people hate video game adaptations, I never played TWEWY before and this is my one way to experience the story, and the animation is looking nice too. So here’s hoping for me as a non-TWEWY player that I wouldn’t be gatekept by hardcore TWEWY fans with how terrible the anime is and whatever, I don’t care!

Now, like I mentioned earlier, there should be anime that have been relatively recently announced or has been announced for over a year, and they should resurface into the light of day this time. Starting with...

New Touken Ranbu Hanamaru anime: For a while I always thought the Touken Ranbu franchise is dormant at this point, mainly with no new anime, especially the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie being another one of ufotable’s vaporware works or they probably ditched it for good in favor of Kimetsu no Yaiba and who knows if we’ll ever see anything from it.

Not that I think the Touken Ranbu series is dead, there’s still figures and other merchandise and most importantly, the game is still alive, although I don’t hear much about it but it’s definitely still alive thanks to fujo power, but I think the anime is probably what keeps me intact about the franchise’s relevancy. (And this is coming from a guy who’s hardcore into stuff for male demographic with lots of female characters and has a strong thirst for them. Hey, I gotta change teh pace every once in a while, okay? I do care about male characters sometimes, even my own)

One day, in January 2020, I randomly came across a post from Crunchyroll that a new Touken Ranbu Hanamaru project is coming! Finally, about time for some more Hanamaru! Now I should point out that YES the post explicitly says “project” which it could be an anime, a game or whatever, and I said that this could possibly be an anime, but I still want to hope it is a new anime because that’s the #1 thing I want the most.

Now that I think about it, since this was vaguely said as a project which means it can be a different media... Is there by any chance like some sort of manga or whatever media has actually been released throughout this entire 2020 and I may have never heard of it? I really hope there isn’t any other media that I might have overlooked, and if I do find out it exists, I’m going to be utterly disappointed.

Magia Record second cour: Given that this is a Madoka Magica series, I expected Magia Record to be an all two-cour series... But unfortunately it’s not, and to make it worse, the second cour wasn’t even made until the first cour finale aired and they announced it’s in production. Like... Really? Even some ufotable shows and even the second cour of Re:Zero season 2 wouldn’t announce something like that!

Inferno Cop season 2: I honestly kinda wish this shouldn’t made because it’s been so long since they announced it and no new information has come out of it so far, but my main reason why I don’t want this to be made is because the seiyuu of Inferno Cop himself passed away, and hearing Inferno Cop with a different seiyuu may not feel the same.

Megalobox season 2: I’m still wondering if this is even needed given how the first season ended and how much TMS has been working on Fruits Basket and even Dr. Stone.

Made in Abyss season 2: With the film recently being released, it is now confirmed that season 2 (?) is a go. I can see this being potentially released in 2022, but I’m still going to mention it anyways.

Anenarumono OVA: It’s been forever since this was announced, like very early into 2020 in fact and when we get to 2021, it’s going to be a full year since this was announced and so far nothing has come of it.

This is most likely going to be an adaptation of the SFW manga series since there is an R-18 doujin series as well, if this would be a hentai OVA from the R-18 doujin series, I probably wouldn’t have seen big anime news sites like Natalie Comics, AIR or even Anime News Network reporting on it and Pochi herself would have tweeted or retweeted the trailers of the hentai OVA or something.

The animation in the Okaa-san Desu Ka (Isekai MILF) series was absolutely garbage, so I really hope the animation in this one is good.

And finally, I decided to put this one to last because it’s something that it recently just got announced, it may or may not come in 2021 but I’m very excited might as well be my #1 anticipated anime of 2021:

Chainsaw Man: A while ago, I read the first chapter of Chainsaw Man a while ago, and I thought it was cool and stuff but I wasn’t sure if I would read it for my entire life, as of late I’ve been seeing quite a lot of fan art

The announcement of the anime as well as the manga ending as Part 1 were actually all leaked a few days prior to the release of the final chapter of the manga, which was December 13th, later I started hearing stuff about how the editor is straight up telling people and news pages to not do any reports about it until the official formal announcement, which that definitely confirmed it was a thing, it was pretty much an open secret.

The funniest thing is, as I was reading the manga a while ago, I thought to myself “I kind of see Chainsaw Man getting adapted by MAPPA with the looks of Dorohedoro,” I never watched Dorohedoro but from what I’ve seen with how the series look with the CG and its aesthetic, it’s perfect for Chainsaw Man, and now... The dream of MAPPA adapting the Chainsaw Man anime became true, so it’s either a dumb fantasy that came true or I actually predicted MAPPA doing the Chainsaw Man anime, you can interpret however you’d like. But with that being said about MAPPA doing the Chainsaw Man anime, it may or may not look like Dorohedoro, I don’t think I would mind if the Chainsaw Man anime wouldn’t look like Dorohedoro.

Now my biggest concern with the series is that it might get heavily censored because it is a pretty grotesque series and sometimes sexual, but for the most part it’s absolutely gorey, and that’s the kind of series I like. In my Fall 2020 anime review post, in my review of Akudama Drive, I criticized how Japanese media can be inconsistent in how much can they get away with gore in some cases, and in others they’ll just paste black blurs. If the censorship can be extremely bad in the Chainsaw Man anime, it would probably be the one thing that would disappoint me so bad, and I don’t want them to tone down the gore either because it would be equally lame, if not, lamer. When I read the manga, every time I see the blood, I always think of the red blood given that it’s usually colored in black, but when I see colored promos and stuff, I see the blood in various different colors other than red, I’m not sure why it is, but if that’s what the series in full color is, especially for the anime, I think it would be perfect for the anime to be censorship-free but it’s still unlikely, who knows, we’ll see what happens.

Around the time of the announcement of the anime, I made a rant about how MAPPA can be a hit or miss for me in terms of their animation, and now that I think about it, their portofolio even, but the animation is a bigger issue for me. I also thought I would see MAPPA as a somewhat alternative to Madhouse, which is funny given that it was founded by a former Madhouse producer, but at the same time that’s not enough for me to care about MAPPA as I do with Madhouse, or old Madhouse, I’m probably not a fan of current Madhouse, and this goes back to their animation styles. Even if I’m lukewarm with MAPPA, their Chainsaw Man anime is something I’m genuinely excited for, it was something that randomly came into my mind and somehow it became true.

I might have a really high expectation that the Chainsaw Man anime should look like Dorohedoro, I really should try to lower my expectations and try to not care for how would the anime end up looking. Something with the likes of Kakegurui would be nice, maybe Jujuutsu Kaisen too (Even though I don’t really watch the series but it seems like it’s quite popular right now), I just really don’t want something like Granblue Fantasy season 2 because that show absolutely made me sick.

Anyway, I really love Chainsaw Man now, I wish I had read the manga sooner, especially when it came out, but now having read the manga now was a good time to do so given that the manga ended (at least in Part 1) and the anime being announced. (Although I probably forgot what the story is at this point (Except some “key moments”), so the anime can help me refresh my mind)

Top 4 best video games of the year

This is my least favorite list to make in these New Year posts because I never play a single new release because for years I never had a PS4 and even now I still don’t have money to buy games or to buy a Switch and games if I want to, so whenever I make these lists, I always tend to watch Let’s Plays from YouTubers I like the most (GTFO Jacksepticeye), I rarely watch all cutscenes only videos nowadays, and doing so makes me feel like this is cheating because doing these lists is more about experience by one self. Sure, some people would say you would still try to like a game just by watching, but in my honest opinion, it’s just not the same. But now this list is going to be different!

So for this list, I’m only gonna choose the games I actually happen to play for once, I usually make these lists by including a bunch of games I haven’t even played at all, so it’s finally time to make an unbiased list of video games of the year, not including ports and/or re-releases of old games or an obscure game suddenly getting attention, even if this list is awfully short but it’s the bare minimum I could make.

I’m not sure what to make of this list, I haven’t played some of the games in this list but I’m just gonna put them for how impressive they are even by just watching anyways:

4.- Helltaker: This game became quite a sleeper hit amongst the internet, spawning countless fanart and Helltaker dance parodies. The game might be very short, but the future of the characters doesn’t end there, as the creator would occasionally make comics and sometimes small art with the characters.

3.- The Henry Stickmin Collection: Believe it or not, I grew up with Newgrounds during my childhood, but I’ve never really played a Henry Stickmin game EVER in my entire life.

2.- Arknights: Over the last year, 2019, I’ve been seeing quite a lot of fan art of the game, there’s a lot of really good character designs, I really like them all. The game at the time was only released in China, however, at the end of 2019, I was hearing that Arknights was being localized into Japanese and English simultaneously, a “global” release, if you call it. It’s localized none other than Yostar of Azur Lane fame. Anyways, enough with that talk, let’s talk about the game.

I did get to start playing the game on day 1 launch, I was quite intrigued the story, the characters, etc. Although I was at a point where I wouldn’t play the game as much and only do logins, but after a few months, as I was progressing through the game and when the Grani event came out, I actually quit playing the game because... It was very hard! There’s a lot of strategies I have to do because there can be really hard enemies, not to mention I was quite underpowered with operators not well leveled enough.

I stopped playing Arknights for a while, that is until late April to early May where my older sister has started playing Arknights, that’s where I immediately decided to play Arknights again, and now it has become my third game I religiously play, the first being FGO and second being Azur Lane. Over the course of the entire year, I’ve been leveling up some operators and as of now I have 10 operators I have E2′d, so I made some significant progress, although I’m still rough in having fully built operators because grinding for the materials is a huge pain in the ass, but sometimes it can be rewarding.

My luck with the gacha is hit or miss, sometimes I get the characters I wanted, sometimes I don’t for the absolute worse. Now with the first anniversary coming, my most wanted operator is W, she and Ch’en are my most wanted operators, but after trying to get Ch’en so many times with definitely NO LUCK AT ALL, but my greatest disappointment was W yesterday, I never got W at all and only got a Phantom and TWO Weedys for six stars and I was so furious! I’ve been wanting her for so long, and the saddest part is that she’s limited and I won’t be able to get her ever again! After all my efforts in saving a lot of orundum, materials and even making this meme, everything has gone into an absolute waste and I really bummed out!

On a lighter note, W was originally going to be a Girls’ Frontline character but she was scrapped, which makes her a lot more interesting. (Someone even made this). I gotta say, releasing chapter 7 and W now instead of actually waiting until the day the game launched which is in January 16th, they certainly ended the year with a bang! (And with a bummer of not getting W, but still...)

UPDATE - JANUARY 2ND 2021: SHE’S FINALLY HOME!!!!!!! OFF TO A GREAT START INTO 2021!!!!

End of update.

In fact, Arknights was created by former Girls’ Frontline developers, quite surprising. I wouldn’t say Arknights is a competitor nor a spiritual successor to Girls’ Frontline, both have completely different concepts, also, I wouldn’t expect for them to ever make collab events for each other in either game. Then there’s the character W which I mentioned previously, she actually happens to be spawned from a scrapped Girls’ Frontline character for the AR Team, I like how people joke about W being the AR Team’s long lost sister. As of late I’m feeling really obsessed about W, and for a while, the fact that she was a scrapped T-Doll makes her a lot more interesting.

Given that Arknights was released last year in 2019 and we got the global versions early this year, having 1 year away from content isn’t necessarily bad and I’m better off playing the English version right now, but as of late, Yostar appears to be rushing some content released from CN into global, which that’s a plus for me, they’re slowly catching up to CN, just like how EN Azur Lane started with slow content but recently they’ve been releasing content ALMOST simultaneously (Not that I particularly care for EN since I’ve been playing JP a month after launch back in 2017 anyway), but the biggest problem is as I started following some Arknights dedicated accounts where they report stuff from CN and even took a bit of some livestreams, recently CN’s going crazy with amazing content that it may take a few months or a year for global to catch up, so I really hope Yostar does their best to try to release content for Arknights semi-simultaneously between CN and global a la Azur Lane.

I mainly play the EN version of the game and tend to follow the official EN channels (Though I follow JP’s too), but I found some problems with the PR behind EN. My biggest problem is that EN make some absolutely painful to watch livestreams with no seiyuu like JP does and having total nobodies as hosts (Except Intern-kun which he is kinda known and was a meme but I don’t think he’s quite a meme anymore), sometimes there were two other hosts with big animal heads, and some other plethora of issues addressed by Tectone in this video, in short, some of the exclusive YouTube content the EN Arknights channel comes up with like the livestreams can be absolutely garbage.

By the way, Arknights gave us a pretty good content creator who was quite a meme, he was actually sponsored and got his infamous ad which I didn’t even know this was a thing and still find it hard to believe since I use uBlock Origin to block ads. Even though he probably wasn’t the best go-to content creator for Arknights news and stuff, nobody agreed on what he says and he was occasionally criticized, he was especially fun to watch his suffering in every roll. At some point around the beginning of the second half of the year, he started to do livestreams and uploaded highlight clips of said streams of games like Fall Guys and Among Us, which I thought it was a nice change of pace considering there wasn’t much Arknights content at the time, but at that point, Genshin Impact was around the corner and he started making a lot of videos for it which now he’s pretty much become the Genshin Impact guy, and then he finally released that video completely declaring he absolutely retired from Arknights for good which I linked earlier in the PR issues, so after that, I stopped caring about Tectone completely. It’s a real shame because I actually wanted to see him pull for W this first anniversary, but there are some things that pissed me off about him, he never even cared about the story, or rather the game as a whole to begin with, talk about being ungrateful to the game that made you successful and get a cult following to begin with, but the dude was harassed, so I’d better cut him some slack.

Speaking of sponsors, I actually wished Yostar continued to sponsor Arknights but on better YouTubers like Whang, ThatGamerFromMars, the Vanoss crew, and all the other ones who get sponsored to death by Raid Shadow Legends (Raid Shitty Legends, am I right?), and the last channel they sponsored was fucking WatchMojo of all things. I mean, seriously?

Although not everything about the EN PR is bad, most of the Twitter and YouTube stuff is pretty much stuf about the game like upcoming new operators and events, and English subtitled trailers which for the most part is nothing really worth noting but this is pretty much my go-to for the news and trailers. They also have a Fankit website which I can download wallpapers and stickers, and yes, I do use the wallpapers, sometimes I do use some stickers but I like keeping them. They even team up with DJs and they actually release some pretty good music with cool CG animated music videos. Said artists happen to be from Steve Aoki’s record label Dim Mak, and even Steve Aoki himself did some music for the game and actually appeared in the Arknights 1st anniversary livestream from the EN channel to make comments about his latest track and saying he loves anime which I didn’t know Steve was a weeb. (Here’s the full livestream if you wanna watch it).

Anyways, enough PR talk, this is a pretty fun game! I probably never had prior experience in playing tower defense games, though the closest would be the PS3 demo of Plants vs Zombies, so I can say this is my #1 tower defense game and I’d absolutely recommend to everyone.

1.- Genshin Impact: My main contender for my #1 GOTY was No More Heroes 3, but since it got delayed to 2021, there was nothing else that’s #1 worthy for me, but enter Genshin Impact, a AAA gacha game at its finest, this became quite a big surprise of the year!

At first I wasn’t hugely interested in it, but then I was constantly seeing fan arts and people talking about the game in my timeline and I was feeling left out, so I tried playing the game a bit on my phone but I barely had any space left, so I had to uninstall Girls’ Frontline from my phone (sorry), so I had barely some space left, but the game ran extremely slow for my phone, as expected, it’s a very intensive game. Later I tried installing the game on my laptop, but because of my problem with my ethernet in my laptop constantly turning on and off, it took HOURS upon HOURS instalilng the game, that is until I got fatal errors at the last minute which completely made the installer download from 0%... TWICE! And I was done with it.

Then I was chatting with my older sister and she mentioned that the game is on Playstation, so she downloaded it, and upon seeing her play the game, it looks gorgeous, especially on her flat screen TV! It’s better having to play the game in better graphics and in a bigger screen, so I made a separate PSN account for myself and played it and I’m very hooked.

Probably the biggest things I’ve been seeing when the game came out were Paimon emergency food memes, I’ve been seeing a lot of memes and fan art related to these and they range from hilarious to downright disturbing (As people would meme Paimon as an “emergency onahole” as well). Nowadays I continue to see fan arts of Genshin Impact, particularly those of Mona, occasionally Barbara, Lisa, etc, but Mona is the most frequent.

But the problem is I'm so far behind of adventure rank and everything else from everyone else, even Ten and my older sister, I don't have a lot of characters and I don't have enough Primogens and the gacha system can really suck pretty bad with it being mostly saturated with weapons over characters. Not even FGO and Action Taimanin would they give me craft essences and weapons would be this bad, although in the case of FGO, I do get more CEs than Servants and stuff, but the way Genshin Impact presents me with low star weapons and literally no characters, it's just a hideous sight to look at.

The other problem is that since we only have one PS4 and our home consoles have always been shared, my older sister and I switch turns, but when it comes to single player games, we've always been using my older sister's PSN account, but with Genshin Impact, this is definitely our first time playing games on different accounts for the both of us for once. But the thing is, my older sister ALWAYS plays Genshin Impact, I admire her dedication but that barely gives me some time to play the game myself along with other factors why I don't do so, such as sleeping for hours, busy with other games and stuff, etc.

Playing Genshin Impact, given that it's an open world game, definitely reminds me of the good old days when I used to play Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, I destroyed that game with pretty much beating everything, but with Genshin Impact, I'm feeling like I'm out of practice with patience and playing games for hours due to my addiction of social media and other gacha games.

Then there’s also some performance issues specifically on the PS4, sometimes there can be quite the lag on location rendering (Like when I spawn in Mondstadt and textures take seconds to render sometimes), frame drops when I did co-op in the Unreconciled Stars event, etc. I don’t know about PC or PS5, but I’m pretty sure the game would run somewhat better on PC especially.

I rarely encounter bugs in a game, but Genshin Impact is the one game that I can definitely find more noticeable bugs and other flaws more than any other game I’ve ever played in my life.

Aside from performance issues and despite not playing the game as religiously like I want to, it’s still a very solid game. Gacha has been a genre that I’ve religiously been playing for 3 years and this really speaks to me, as I used to play a lot of video games for hours in the past and just a few months after playing DMC5 on our PS4, I’ve come back to the console and spend some hours playing on it again.

If I had a PS5 for myself but with a better TV in my bedroom right now, I would have absolutely made a lot of progress on my own and boy, my older sister must be way too far ahead with our adventure ranks, the campaign and even getting better characters than I do... ;-;

Honorable mentions

And here we are, the lamest part of doing these top game lists, whether main or honorable mentions, it’s always acknowledging games for their existence and sometimes simply from watching Let’s Plays which kind of defeat the purpose of making these lists based on actual experience, but who cares? Let’s talk about the games that I may not have played but peaked my interest in the least.

DOOM Eternal: Around the time of DOOM Eternal’s release, I somehow finally got into Doom by playing the classic games (Except Doom 3, I wouldn’t mind playing it, though), so I think I totally consider myself a big fan of Doom now (Even I played some WADs was breifly interested in wanting to make one), but what about Doom Eternal? Even if I had watched videos of Doom 2016, I of course liked the game for how it looks, but with Doom Eternal, it is absolutely better.

Based on what I remember seeing from Doom 2016 and with Doom Eternal, they’re like the modern equivalents of Doom 1 and 2, particularly with the final bosses being the Spider Mastermind in Doom 2016 and the Icon of Sin in Eternal.

When I first saw Doom Eternal being announced in Bethesda’s E3 2018 conference, as far as I can remember, I thought it would be like a random new game that has nothing to do with Doom 2016 or something, but as time went on and I kind of forgot about what I thought but now thinking back, looking at the trailers and even the actual game, my expectations have exceeded. Looking back at Doom 2016, it now pales in comparison towards Doom Eternal, from its UI to some of its more faithful monster designs from the classic Doom games!

Although even if Doom Eternal is great, there were some problems about Mick Gordon not being able to do the sound mixing for the soundtrack and all that drama, that could have ruined the game for being GOTY or something. (I’m exaggerating but it was quite a serious problem back then).

Speaking of Doom Eternal being GOTY, I’m seeing quite a lot of people saying that this is their GOTY, which is funny because I originally had Doom Eternal as my #1 GOTY in the main list which I later changed it to Genshin Impact in my TRUE best games of the year list with games I actually played, I still think this is GOTY, but without actual experience, it’s not worth counting it on the main list.

Resident Evil 3 Remake: Surprisingly RE3 Remake was rather divisive, probably the biggest reason I can think of as to why the game is divisive is because it’s rather short. Sure, the game is short but calling it a disappointment is an absolute understatement, as long as the game continues to have beautiful graphics from RE2 Remake, the gameplay is satisfying and has quite some spooks, it’s still good enough for me.

Call me crazy to judge the game this way considering I’ve only ever played the demo in my PS4.

Devil May Cry 5: Special Edition: I was quite surprised they actually went ahead in making a Special Edition of DMC5, I mean, I thought they wouldn’t based on what they said about “no more developments” for DMC5, but with the PS5, that all changed. And of course, it cannot be a Special Edition without playable Vergil who not only has a really awesome gameplay, but he has the absolute BEST theme that actually surpassed Devil Trigger. Man, Vergil always gets the best themes.

The only caviat with DMC5: Special Edition is that it’s only made for the next-gen consoles. or it has rather become the current-gen consoles as of now, that is all because Capcom wants to take advantage of the PS5 and Xbox Series’ technologies with the ray tracing and turbo mode, but not all hope is lost as they actually made Vergil available for previous gen consoles as DLC, so that’s an absolute win!

A few days after he was released as the DLC, I got a chance to play as Vergil and I pretty much speedran through the Devil Hunter difficulty in 6 and a half hours, and I think I’m almost not out of practice on playing Vergil since DMC3SE. By almost I mean that most of the time I was familiar with the controls and the movesets, but at the same time they tweaked a little bit of some of those familiar controls from what I remember and added some cool new combos. Oh, by all that I meant that he’s absolutely fun to play.

I kinda wish they did make Trish and Lady playable as well, just like in DMC4SE, but they kinda turned out to be useless throughout the story, so this could have been the only chance for Capcom to redeem themselves with the characters, but I guess not.

Among Us: The game came out in 2018, but out of the blue, it has now become a massively popular game. I had always thought Henry Stickmin was part of why Among Us is popular, but not really, it was a streamer with a lot of followers to make it happen.

To be honest, I kind of wish Henry Stickmin was as popular as Among Us, the only thing from Henry Stickmin that was apparently a big meme (Which I wasn’t even aware of and never seen such memes in my Twitter timeline) is the distraction dance.

Persona 4 Golden PC: For a while I’ve been seeing news about leaks and stuff like that, I was skeptical about it, but it has finally become real.

For a while I did want to buy the game, but I didn’t want to spend quite the amount of money and I was kind of skeptical of how demanding the game might be, but out of the blue, my good old Japanese friend gamer Hinosuna came to the rescue and gifted me the game (He also had gifted me Mortal Kombat 9 after it was removed from Steam a few months earlier, and with Persona 4 Golden, this is probably the last game he’ll ever gift me).

Upon opening the game, the first problem I immediately encountered is the cutscenes running extremely atrocious, they were running extremely stuttery, it was so bad I had to find an all cutscenes video with Japanese language (Since I had the game set in Japanese audio), but then when it was time for the gameplay, the game isn’t insanely demanding like I thought it would be for my laptop, it’s an absolute win! From what I heard about this problem with the cutscenes, it’s probably a problem that’s only affected on laptops, so I believe people must have the cutscenes running like normal in their insanely powerful desktop computers, lucky you.

A few months later, they eventually fixed the cutscenes... Supposedly. The cutscenes for me run a little better, but they still work just as badly. Instead of having the cutscenes extremely stuttery, like I previously had, instead I may have a bit of lag but the visuals can get very glitchy, like scratched DVDs.

By the way, this happens to be the most successful PC port on Steam, given how successful it is, I completely forgot that the Catherine PC port exists and looking back at it, I can’t help but laugh at how the PC port of Catherine wouldn’t get to this level of success P4G has, especially because it’s a fan favorite enhanced version of a Persona game and because you probably wouldn’t find a copy of the game for PS Vita if you still have a PS Vita lying around which makes this port ten times more accessible, this is how successful it turned out to be, in my opinion. I could be wrong and there can be other reasons why it’s successful, but this is my main theory.

Now, since I’m traumatized from my PS2 dying in 2014 when I was doing Shadow Yukiko or Kanji in New Game+ after doing the bad ending, this is my chance to redeem myself, I want to get the true ending this time, especially with a new port of the better version of Persona 4 Golden! ...Or so I thought I wanted to be.

When I was playing P4G, I was trying to get 100% on my first playthrough and it puts me quite a lot of compromise, there’s just something about playing the game windowed while looking through guides at the same time that not only makes it distracting, it completely slows me down, not to mention I’ve actually been burned out from playing the game overall...

As of now I’m on June 29th and already doing Shadow Rise’s world, I think it’s decent progress but that’s how far I am by early December this year after not playing the game for... MONTHS. At this point I also try not to care about following guides and just do whatever is best for me and I can try to do better when I do New Game+.

I want to go back and finish the game once and for all, but I’m very busy with other games and other things, I’ve been held back very much on them and even when I try to play the game, sometimes on midnight, I immediately lose my patience. I don’t know what to do...

Hopefully next year, I’ll try to go back and try to finish the game once and for all, I don’t want to make Hinosuna’s gift a waste, I’m really proud of him gifting me the game.

Final Fantasy VII Remake: I can’t remember when was the first trailer shown in E3, 2015? We’ve come a long way and FFVII remake is finally here. Apparently I heard this is a two-part game, so I hope we won’t wait for a really long time for the second time, probably not the same amount of time as we waited for the first part, but worse, perhaps even longer.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Action Taimanin (English and PC): I played Action Taimanin back when it was released on mobile in Japanese in 2019, but since I was done with the campaign and there was nothing else to do, I decided to stop playing it and uninstalled it from my phone to make space, but to my surprise, I randomly happened to find out that an English version AND PC port of the game was released on Steam in October 6th, I kinda wish it did came out on my birthday so it could have been more enjoyable, but whatever.

Having known that Action Taimanin was gonna be released on PC with English translation, that’s where I thought “It’s time to return to Action Taimanin!” unlike the one time I said I would because Rinko Akiyama was released as a playable character in the mobile game, but now I have her AND Mizuki Shiranui, which I got them both at their launch dates, I also got Emily Simmons as well but not right on time for her launch but it was still worth the wait.

Speaking of Asagi, one other surprising thing I found out about Asagi when I started playing the PC port is that they actually patched out Asagi’s voice by recasting her with a different actress, apparently it happened since late June for rather unknown reasons. For those who don’t know, Asagi was originally voiced by Ami Koshimizu and now she’s voiced by Sayumi Watabe (Who’s claim to fame is Els from Beastars and Manaka from Aggretsuko season 3).

Square Enix Avengers: I wanted to like this game because I always had thought this would be part of the Spider-Man PS4 universe, a Marvel Gaming Universe of sorts, even if it isn’t, I was still interested and I didn’t tolerate how people would trash the game. The game now came out, mixed reviews and a plethora of far worse problems, like how very little the game made and low playerbase on Steam and what not. None of that stuff is my problem, I would really love to play the game now.

Dishonorable mention (?):

This is hardly a dishonorable mention in an ill matter, but something that completely shocks me, so might as well be in a disappointing sense.

Cyberpunk 2077: I was never interested in The Witcher series, but I admire them as a video game adaptation of a novel which aspires me in wanting to write novels for them to get adapted primarily into games, however, Cyberpunk 2077 was the CD Projekt Red title I was genuinely interested.

The game came out and I saw a tweet from Nibel that it’s got quite some good reviews, but over the next few days... Things started to get very sour...

The game launched at a very buggy state, it even got removed on console digital stores, the game is unplayable on consoles and money loss... Everything just feels disheartening, and it’s not fair...

This is the one game from CD Projekt Red that I wanted to start caring about as well as the studio, but after the PR mess and constant delays leading up to a messy release (at least on consoles from what I mainly hear), and everything else that’s been happening, now it seems like people are turning against CD Projket Red which they were once highly regarded, I just hope Cyberpunk 2077 can recover so it’ll eventually turn into the next timeless masterpiece like it was supposed to be after The Witcher 3.

Although not all hope can be lost as I still see some people playing Cyberpunk 2077 fine, at least on PC maybe, and that’s enough to make me confident that not everything is all bad.

Most anticipated video games of 2021

Now we’re finally on my favorite category, and first and foremost, my most MOST anticipated game of the year is of course...

No More Heroes 3: With NMH3 finally being delayed to 2021, that was my last final nail in the coffin to care about 2020 as a whole, BUT, not ALL hope is lost! As on October 28th 2020, Suda51 actually released THE FIRST TWO GAMES into Nintendo Switch! This is an absolute win-win, I can finally play ALL No More Heroes games in the most recent console possible... Except I still don’t have a Switch and I seriously need it so bad now. 😭 (And now I’m hearing news that the first two games might actually come out on PC, which I don’t think I’ll need a Switch anymore, at least for this, I still need it so bad to play NMH3 on launch) I’m so glad Travis Strikes Again sold so well to make NMH3 happening, hell, it it didn’t, the post-credits scene could have been a total waste and I would have been forever heartbroken!

For a long time I was skeptical for the soundtrack, I always thought it wouldn’t sound anywhere near as good as the first two games without Masafumi Takada, but in reality, Takada never actually composed the soundtrack for NMH2 to begin with, in fact, he had already left Grasshopper around NMH2′s release. But regardless, I still thought the NMH3 soundtrack wouldn’t sound as good as the first two games (Sorry TSA, I haven’t paid attention to your OST), but then I listened to WILD TOKYO, the first album by RED ORCA, a band formed by composer Nobuaki Kaneko, and I was very impressed, so I guess it changed my mind. Actually, the album contains three tracks that have been heard on the trailers, like “ORCA FORCE,” “beast test,” and “Octopus.” That’s not to say that the album is the ENTIRE soundtrack for NMH3, only these three are what are currently known based on the trailers, so who knows if the rest of the album is actually the NMH3 OST or there’s gonna be entirely original tracks for different things.

However, there’s one thing that I’m scared the most is the probability of recasting Quinton Flynn from Henry (in case he might appear in NMH3 since Travis Strikes Again) due to some allegations towards him, I really hope everything that I’m hearing is just made up bullshit that people want to cancel others they hate for no absolute reason. Although I’m hearing all of this from word-of-mouth and nobody sources, if there’s something that’ll immediately convince these allegations are true, is by seeing legit sources like Anime News Network, OR EVEN other actors speaking about it (Though they would most likely easily jump into the conclusion and easily agree to the allegations without any solid solid proof (Yes, I’ve seen a screenshot but I don’t want to believe it)). If Henry does appear in NMH3 but he gets recast before launch or worse, AFTER launch, I’m going to be very sad and it’ll probably be one of the things that NMH3 may disappoint me.

And lastly, I̵ ̵S̵W̵E̴A̸R̴ ̶T̵O̸ ̸G̶O̸D̵ ̷I̷ ̴R̴E̷A̷L̷L̶Y̶ ̴H̵O̷P̷E̴ ̴T̴H̴I̵S̸ ̵W̴O̷N̶’̶T̴ ̶B̸E̶ ̴T̶R̴E̷A̵T̵E̸D̷ ̴I̸N̷ ̷T̴H̶E̵ ̶S̴A̶M̷E̶ ̷W̵A̸Y̵ ̷A̷S̸ ̵T̷L̷O̴U̴2̸ ̸O̸R̵ ̴T̷H̴E̸ ̷O̶T̷H̴E̸R̷ ̴T̵H̸I̵N̶G̸S̴ ̴F̸R̵O̸M̸ ̷T̶H̵E̸ ̵L̸A̵S̵T̴ ̴3̶ ̸Y̴E̵A̷R̸S̶ ̷W̴H̷I̸C̵H̶ ̴I̷ ̸M̴E̴N̵T̸I̵O̷N̷E̴D̴ ̴A̴G̷E̴S̶ ̸A̷G̶O̵!̷!̶!̶!̷!̴!̶

I̷̩̗̒͑ ̷̡̩̆̓Ã̴͉L̷̠̭̎S̷͚̊O̵̲̍̀ ̵͙̍͒͜D̸̰̈́͘O̷̻͌̽Ņ̸̎’̷̦̋̅T̶͉͐ ̶̪̼́́W̶̲͍̐̔A̶͕̠̓̊N̴͙̆̈́T̵̨̪̾ ̵̻̈̌N̷͚͛͐M̵̻̕H̸̘͋3̶̛̤͔̇ ̴̦̭̍̆T̸̠͒̉ͅÒ̷͚̬͠ ̴̲̥͗̍B̶͙̀E̵̛̘̋ ̷̰̗̽T̷̳̜̏Ŕ̸͙E̶͓̓A̷̻̽͘T̴̲̫̿̋È̵̯͝Ď̸̅ͅ ̷̺̽T̶̢͆H̴̰̕Ě̴̩̈́ ̸͎̇S̴̗̮̏͆A̶̫͌̏M̷̙̈E̷̟̍̓ ̵͈́̔Ẅ̶̢͔A̴̹̤͆̑Y̸͇̺͘ ̸̭̃̄A̷̜͝Ṡ̷̯̬̓ ̷͚͕̒͝T̸̗͋̕R̶̝̾A̶͓̚Ṽ̸̤͊Ǐ̷̗̟S̸͎̠̈́͛ ̴͈̅S̴̘͕̾T̷͘͜͠R̴̬̍̄Ị̸̳̍K̵͕̘̀͂È̸̼̱S̷̤͂͝ ̸̳̃̇Ä̸̞G̷̨͓̏͝Ȃ̴̰͘Ị̷͐N̴̚ͅ ̸̙̒W̷̻̼͐͑Ḩ̶̲̂̎E̶̼͆͂N̸̤̟͗͠ ̵̜̇T̵͂ͅH̶̘̉͒E̵̲̺̔͠ ̸̖͋̄G̷̲̑͊A̵̡̾͊Ṁ̵̡͋E̶͈̽ ̸̰͈̎̀Ḫ̷̤̈́Ā̷̼D̵̺̼͗ ̷̞̽Ḿ̸͎͇I̷͖̽͜͠X̷̤̘̒̚E̷͖͉͋D̴͎͒ ̴̹̳́̑R̵̛̘Ẽ̴͎̽V̶̙̎̈́I̵̧̤̔E̶̞̤͗͠Ẃ̷̨͊ͅS̷̫̕ ̷͚͆A̵̦̙̔̍N̷̡̦̂D̵̥͍̉ ̵̳̩̈́S̶͖̏̚T̴̬̠̒Ǘ̴͔̩̏F̴̡̣́F̴̰̝͒͝ ̸̹̫͂̕Ạ̷̧̈͂N̸̥̐D̸̡̤̃̃ ̴̦̘̇P̴̗̅͒E̶̛̥̠͗Ò̸̩̜P̴͕̋L̸̮̘͠E̸̺̣͝ ̴̫́̂S̴̨̰̊̓E̴͎̖̎͑Ê̶̠͚M̸͔̒È̷̺Ḍ̸͠ ̸̯̬͂̀Ț̷̮́̂Ó̵̱̽ ̶͙̃̄N̴͔̉̌Ǫ̴͂̑T̴̡́ ̷̻́͝Ç̵̙̾̋A̷̙͋͝R̷̟̥͌E̷͖̣̋ ̶̻̌͠A̷̝̞̽B̵͙̒͊Ō̵̭̗Ṷ̶̤͝T̷̥̓ ̵̩̤̐̎I̵̹͎̅Ṭ̸͍̈́,̵̺̳̽̉ ̷̪̄̔É̵̼̜V̶̭̆E̸̫̦̚N̵̜̰̅͠ ̵̼̪͝C̴̼̈́Ȧ̶̧̡̔L̸̟̼̿̄Ḷ̷̫͘I̶͉̟̋Ń̵͈͝G̷̦̦̎͝ ̷͔͗Ì̸̺̀T̷͉͓͂̒ ̷̤͘C̷͔͉̈́Â̶̗͓̂S̴̲͂H̶͛͜G̴͈͕̉R̶͈̕͝A̶͎͂B̸͇́ ̶̹͈͒Í̵͕Ň̴̖̊ ̸̻̪̎O̴̜̾͜R̷͔͌͘Ḓ̸͉̋͛E̶̬̒͘R̷͈͔̽ ̷̠̖̃̽Ț̶̓O̷̭͐ ̸̡̘̍M̸̛͙͐ͅA̶̳͐̓K̴̲̈́͐Ë̸̬̇ ̴̻̔N̷̢̰̄͑M̶͕̳͐H̸̳̎3̶̬̄͜ ̷̢̑͆É̷̬̩̕X̸̙́̓Ï̶̖S̵̘̙̉T̶̗̲̒,̷̹̻̋͝ ̷̧͎́͘I̸͔͂̓ ̴͕̚ͅD̴͍̟͆͝Ŏ̴̞͕N̷̞̫̓̊’̵͓̂T̴̡̰͛ ̶̧͕̐Ẁ̵̢̹͂A̶͕͐ͅN̶̪͆T̷̫̆ ̵̗̣̃T̵̤͈͋̎Ǒ̴̮̆ ̵͓̽S̵̝͓̊E̵͕̒E̴͇͂͒ ̸̟̫̄̚A̶̱̥̕͝Ņ̸̥͑Y̶̧͋́ ̷̠̑̒S̸̯͑I̶̩͇͑Ņ̵̯͑̂G̴̝͖̽̏Ļ̵̓́͜Ë̴̫̗́̕ ̶͔̅P̴̬͊E̴͍̐͛R̶͙͇̓̅Ș̷͝O̸͙̠̽̋N̸͍͒͛ ̷͔̥̀I̶̯̓ ̶̨̺͊C̷̡͛̕A̴̧̰̿R̴͙̍E̷͓͚͋ ̷̲̜̔̉A̵͈͜͝B̵͔͓̾Ǫ̴̟̿̓U̵̗̔Ṱ̵̀,̶̖̖̑̄ ̷̗̤͂̍W̵̭͝H̵͕̬̅̈́Ḛ̷̫̐Ṱ̸̛͇H̴̟̩͂Ḙ̶̒̈R̷̢͛ ̷̤̌͑Ỉ̵̆͜T̴͉͖͂’̴̠͒̈́S̵͚̾ ̸͎͈̿̿Å̶̪̈ ̶̧̦̏̇F̶̦́R̴̟̍I̸̢̻͛È̶͍Ṉ̵̋͠D̷̜̜̍ ̶̫͍̅O̸̰͌̓R̶̛̥͕͛ ̷̮̊̚A̵̰̹̓̏N̵͎͛ ̵̥̐͘Ȁ̴͈̪͝R̸̡̦̓̑T̶͚̕Ȉ̶̤̘S̴͉̣͆̽T̸̩́ ̷̊͑ͅI̶̝̿͘ ̷͚̓L̶̤͇̉I̴̙̋Ḱ̶̟͈̑E̴̱͊͠,̵͔̝͑ ̶̥̦͌͠T̵͔̙̉̽Ǫ̷̟̌ ̸͚̪̓T̶͍̒̈A̷̦̚͝L̵̨̡̃K̴̪̋̂ ̵̳̊S̸̗͔̆͘H̵͙̮̒I̴̫̎T̸̢̤̓̂ ̵̩̠̌À̴̪͕̑B̵̫͌̄O̸͇͆͂͜Ǘ̸̺̙T̸̛̲̅ ̵̳̂M̸̘̻̒́Y̷̿̈́ͅ ̶̪̌̿ͅM̷̦͗͑O̷̦̭̓S̴͙̞͋̂T̷̺̓ ̴̺̞͠P̴̗͋R̷̪͖̍͌E̷̫͝Ç̴̨̚Į̴͈̽O̷̡̒͆U̵̟̅S̵̟͋̾ ̸̞͊G̷͚͗A̶͊͜M̷̘̚E̵͕͚͑ ̵̼͇̋S̶͕͖̒É̷͎Ŗ̶̱̀̕I̷͇͚̎E̷̼͛̑S̶̳̠͗̈́ ̶̳̑À̸ͅN̸̦̟͝D̴͕̠̈ ̴̡͐T̷̛̩̯̃H̶̼̿̄Ė̴̕ͅ ̷̜̍M̸͍̓Ȍ̸͚̊S̵̳̈Ţ̴͝ ̵̘̼͌͝P̷̲̝̐̅R̵̪͓͛E̵͕̓Ç̴̳̌̚I̴̭̕Ö̷͔̀U̶͉͛S̷̙̘͑̕ ̶͕̺̊S̷͈͛Ě̴̖͒Q̴͎̇͝U̵̟̚E̷͔͓͌́L̷̟̀ ̷̡̫̀͋I̸̟͛̈́’̷̢̓͜V̵̧̪̆̅E̴̢͙̍͝ ̵̣̕Ḅ̸̰̋͐Ẽ̴̪̰̚Ē̶̯̺̃N̴̜̎ ̷̤̻̂W̷̡͕̐A̵͖̓̇I̴̥͋̍T̶͓͊Ị̷̛̿N̴̞̫̚G̴̡͕̒̓ ̷̦͘̕F̸̖̓̃O̶̠͆̚R̶̭̅̿ ̴͎͐͆A̵̻̽ ̸̥͓́̄L̷͎̰̚͠O̸̺̗͌Ñ̴͖̖̏G̴̳̍͐ ̸͇̻̽À̶ͅS̴̝̄S̷̛̙ ̸̨̩̇͊T̶̟̉̕I̷̯̞̒M̸̠̃̌E̷̫̚ ̴͖̅͂͜I̸̧͚̍N̶͕͍̂͐ ̶͔̒M̷͌͜Y̵̾ͅ ̵̛̬̻́L̸͓̫͒I̸͎̓̿F̸̨̳̍E̵̝̣̋!̴̹̼̿͌!̵̖̝͆̚!̶̦̏!̵͚̏́!̵̞̟̔͊!̷̱͌!̷̞̖̐̌!̴̻͐

¡̶̗͎̭̲̯̑̀̑̋̃͂̆̕͝¡̶͇̹̗̙̖̀̇͂̈́̚̚͝¡̶̜̀́̐͆̉͂̊͜͠͝M̵̢̰̭̪͎̥̩̂͗͋ͅĂ̶̻͗̕ͅĻ̴͉̗̼̤̈́͑D̶͓͎̋Į̶̨̛͔̝̫̳̝̭̮̈̈́̈́͊͑̂Ṱ̵͗͑̋̒͑Ȏ̷̲͌̄S̸͚͙̲̀͋͘͠ͅ!̸̨̖̠̮̩͍͒͝ͅ!̴̧̼̬̩̖͎̉̾̓!̵̨̛̝͓͎̙̺͉̃̔̒̏̑͒͒͜ ̷̛̘͙͈̰̦͎̪̖̍͊͋̈̾Į̸̠̝͙͖̙̗̏̓̓̏̋̂̚'̶̹̩̆M̴̭̠͈͈̐́̌ ̸̺̰̮̔͛́̂̊̂̄̑͘Ģ̵̘͈̳͎͇̰̮͇͗̑͂̉͘̚͠Ở̴̝͖̟͖̾͌͌̐̒̏͘N̶͙̽̇̾͐̐̆̐͗͘͜N̸̙͊͌̀̇͜͜A̶̢̜͉̣̘͖̹̎̃̈́̀́̂͆ͅ ̶̭͖̹̰͔͓̅C̶̛̹̜̉̂͒̀͋͑̔͠Ȕ̴͕̟͇̯̭̭̓͜T̷̡͖̱͇̳̗̺̓͂ ̶̗͕̩̘̀̈̍̆͋́̒̒Y̸̹̣̬̿ͅO̶̢̢͈̣͗̀̽͜͠͝Ų̷̗̺̩̤̹̙̤͎̍͐̚͠R̵̝̱̘̥͙̠͈͐̀͆̄͌̉̐͜ ̷̙̹͆̓̓̑D̵̟̺͇͕͌Į̶̨̡̬̫̞͍͋͑Ć̶̢͕͖̮͘͜͝K̵̰͍͑͑͗͆͑̂̏̚̕S̶̭̭̼̤͔̳͊̀̈́͋ͅ ̷̝͖͇̹̪̲̜͕̀͆̔͑͜Ơ̵̧͔̖̣͌̓͛̃̊̆̕͜F̷̛̫̙̣͖͊͛̾͗͌̈́̃̎F̶̡̤̭̟͔̬͖̼̙̎̈́̿͗̌͋!̵̢̛̪͇̣̦̥̿̌̊͆̔̒!̷̡̤̪͓̒̋̽̿!̸͓̻̱́̽̋̓̌̕ ̵̡̼͓̪̟̓͊́̚͝Ḯ̵̬̫̪̰̯͍̂̉͝ ̶̨̺̟̘̱̤͙̻̆̋͆͒̀̀S̶̪̪͖̩̮̗̬̰̉͒̓͗̚W̸̢̭͔̪̱̺̅̌E̴̯̥̿͛̅̔̋̎̿̕A̸̖̠̝̙͖͗̋̔R̷̼̔̌̀̿̈́̍̽͠ ̸̤̾̄̀̒̀̍̃͝T̴̫͙̦̗̦̤͌̔̈̈́͜ͅƠ̶̗̜̝̽̂̑̑̓͆ ̷͔͉̗̞̭̣̣̔̎̒̌͠͝G̸̢͙̅͐͆̐O̷̹̭̼͙̔̏̈́̔͜͝D̷̤͍̦͝ ̴̨̦͈̟͙̱̘͎̅̿̉̅̂̋̈́̄I̷̬͖̐̒͌̾F̴̜͉̻͈̟͍̈́͑̃ ̷̹͈̦͇͈͗̎Ÿ̶̛̬͇̫̼̝̤̑̎̂̐̕͘͠Ơ̸̢̙̹͉͉͉͙̠̦̂̍͂̄U̷̠̬̥̪̥̞͆̍̒̿̆̾̕͝ͅ ̵̤̀̄̆̍̐͂D̷͕̞̎́̍͘O̶̧̢̨̗̠͓̓̍͌̓͘͜ͅ ̴̢͖̟̗̭̦̱̦͊̏̉͆̊̓̐͜͝T̸̙̳̙̟̪̟̪̈́̽̌͒̅̅͂͘̚ͅH̵̘̤͎͎͊̅I̶̡̧͎̗͓͔͖͐̓̀̑́Ş̶͓̻͓̼͙̘̜̱̾͒̿̊̕ ̸̡͍͔̤̹͒̽̈̽͑̈́T̷̨̢̨͓͈̝͚͇̘̔̑̊̐̂O̴̖̎͆̏̇̐͐̄͘͠ ̶͔̗͉̩͕̒͗̄̒͛̈̎̚M̴͉̠̾̔Ę̵̤̼̲̘̤̜̈́̃͂,̴̬̦̳̲͖̖̲͒̾̏̔̌̉̽͐̚ ̵̡̨̜̤̯̬̌̾͆̿̓̉͝͠͝I̴̺̝̐̽̃̒̀͝'̴͎̂͐̿M̷̡̳̜͚͍̼̬͋ ̴̢̢̫͇̈́̐̓̀̅͝G̷͍̞̔͗͗͑̀́̏͐̾ͅO̶̠̐́́̓̂̊̈́N̶͓͓͔̗̪͍̈̂͑͝N̵̢̛̛̳͎̞̒̔͑Ą̵̒̆ ̴̛̳̝̍̌̈́̌B̴͎̖̤͎̜̟̳͇͋Ḻ̷̒̅̔́́O̷̖͑͆͑̈̈́̆Ĉ̴̨͖̪̪͇̣͎͚̘̀Ķ̷̼̺̝̠̮̥͓̈͐̅͆̎̀̚̕̚ ̸̡̘͇̣̹͇͌͊͛͠Ý̶͕̥̦̜̗͉̉̐̿̆̄̃ͅÖ̸̧̳͈̞̳̤̤̌͐͒̍͘ͅU̴̜̔͛͂͗͐͜R̸̨̫͈̥͍̰̀ ̷̨̩̘͓̇̽͘À̴͙̈̀̈̃ͅS̴̠͈̙̎̽̒̓͂̐͛S̶̡̼͉̟̝͚͖̔́̍̀̄̓̕E̷̳͍̞̊͂͝S̸̛̥̠̻̤͆̐̌̋̉̿͘͝ ̶̣̩̖̘̦̂̆̇̔̀̅̕O̴̦̬̦̟͆̂͂͋̈͂́F̷̡̛̠̝̹͖͉̱̗͌̿̀̎͆͘F̸̹̖͓̖̎̉ ̴̤̹̗̯̊̔̏̀͆͒́̅͝Ǒ̷͖͙̻̭͎͕̌͗͒́̍̚F̶̜̳̭̺̱̖͔̒͋ ̷̢̹̩̝̗̙̎͂̽̐͝M̵̫͓̮̪͕̹̳͗̽̔̈͊̓̎͘͝Y̵̡͙̟̝̓̊ ̴̻̪̗̙̭̊̓͌̈́̀̒͠L̷̢̠̩̳̦̺͚̦̚Ȉ̸̝̲͗͊̃F̴̺̘͂͑͂E̴͓̓͋̑̔̏̎̌̏ ̶̫͚͎̜͔͂͂́Ą̴̨̦͈͌̆͒ͅN̷̺͕̻͙̄̽̋̄D̸̳͎͖̰̎̑́̔́ ̶̦͉̘̖͍̹̏̆͛̍̑̎N̷̞̟͋͂̓̈͊͘͝Ę̶̤̟̠͉͇̓́́̄͝͠V̸̤͋͑͠͝Ě̵̛̬͕͒͆̒̽͑Ŕ̸͕̼͈̠̰̦̼͚̍̐͜ ̵̢̰͙̯͇̝͖̑̆͑̇͘͘͝ͅS̷̡̲̣̖͚͊̌͐̇̚E̵̟̒̇̈͂͂Ĕ̴͓̬̪͖̙͚͚̓̇͒͋̅͋̿ ̷̢̳͚̼͂̆͠Y̵͇͔̎̊͌̀Ơ̵̢̫̟̠͖̣͒̇͋͛ͅǕ̶̡̧͈͚̜̻͍̝ ̵̼̬̤̥͚̟̎͌͜A̷̧̪̰̻͓̗̿́G̸̜̠͓̙̜̬͇̭̒̐͠A̸̹̩̾͗͆̆̒I̷̹̬̗͖̐̽̈́̓̎̓͐͗͘ͅͅŅ̸̧͈̹̭̝͇̝͕͗̏̓͐̽͛͊͐̕,̴̡͓̼̜̖̮̮́͗͒̍̀̇̚ ̷̳̰́̉Ỳ̵̦͓̞̻̩̐͜ͅỚ̷̺̰̻̝̰̤̣͓̾̂͗̽̍Ů̸̢̡͈̟̪̬̜̝̼̈́̃̂̓̄́̚͝'̷̟̳̓͂́̅͐R̷̹͖̆͊̕É̶̛̯͈͆̓͒̄̂̈́͌ ̸̠͍͍͙̪̀̏̅ͅG̶͝��̝̯̦͕͙̈́͛͛ͅÖ̷͉̗͎́̔̏̓̒ͅṊ̸̡̝̾̂̅̆Ǹ̸̢̗͖̲̋̂̿̽͝A̴̖̮̰͎̪͂̂̈ ̷̨͖̖̹̦̈́̉P̵̞̩͔̱͔̲̦̟̤͂̄̈́́̓À̷̺̽̄͌͋̃͝Y̵̳͓͐́͐͆͘ ̴̼͈̻̲̟͎̩̿̍͗͌́̃̄̇͛Y̵̱̲͐̒̌̕Ơ̶͎̫̦̠̈́̄̒Ử̷̜̙̪͉̪̖̓̒̚ ̵͙̗̫̉̒̓̐͒̂̓̕F̴̱̠͎͝U̷̦̬̘̓̽͐ͅC̵͍̿̈́̂͌͐̅́͋̚Ķ̵̨͂̈͐̔̆̒̔̅́Ǐ̸̧̱̻̪̪͖̈́̾̃̀͘N̴̟̭͉̲̰͉̍̽̊͒̕Ğ̸͓̰̖̎̂ ̴̧͎̥̜̹͒̃̑̌̈́̒̅̊C̷̨͈̪̫̥̲̜̱̿̐͋U̶̲̮͈̪͆͋͐̊́̍͌͐͘N̴̬͈̝͓̆̄̔̍͝T̸̙̖̼͎̻̬̀̌̃͐̔̅͋͗ͅS̴̨̰̋̆͒̆͝,̵̞̭̜̭̹͕̱̃̚͝ ̵̗̬̆̚͠ͅY̵̗͕͌̾͂̂͂̒Ò̶̥̙́̄͝U̸̗͗̂̐̀͐͜͠ͅ'̴̹̱̤̇̃̓̀̏̽̀̽R̵̡̫̙̙̯̗̒̉̾̔̎͗͋̈̇ͅE̷̖̒̒̒͑̔̇ ̴̯͑͜Ǵ̵̨̝̟̙̰͓́̓ͅO̸̡̘̤̗̭͔̬͖͒̎̓͗̊̇͐͘͘Ṉ̸̱̆̔͑̈́͘Ǹ̴̡̩̼̃̀̍̕ͅÄ̴͕̠̂ ̸̧͓̭̟͔̹̖̥̔̂͐̃͆P̶̮͎̫̳͚̃Ą̷̨̪̖̟͋ͅY̵̧̘̟͇̮̥̏͛̓͜ ̴̢̨̜̞̹̭̼́͑̽̀͜͝F̵̛̞̤̺̈́̆̇̋̋̔O̴̜̜͇̽́Ŗ̴̯̟͈̱̳̲͆͑̂͐̈̍͂͝ ̵̞̻̇̌̋͑T̷̝̯̭̖͖̼̏͐̄͆͗̀͠H̶̨̧̛̗̤̮͕͕̙̉́̊̾́̚͜͠E̸̗̪͉̩̤͖͆̅̐̄̎̂̃̾̚͜ ̵̧̪̱̦̪̞̫͔͕̀̋R̸̗̭͓̖͔̻̟̮̈́̀̅̋̀̇̒͜͝Ȩ̸̟͇̮͇͂̿S̵͕̯͕͌̓͂̀͊͒̀̊̍Ţ̶͇̭̖̰̊͛̓̅͒̈́͝ ̷̟̜͍̦͇͍͒͑O̶͎͋̊́̈͌̚͝F̵̨̧̖̯̗̞̯͎̭̌͊̅̾̂̂͌̕̕ ̶̤̹̖̱̦̐̆̓́̉̐̑̕ͅỶ̵̨̮̠̬͚̤̱͎̄̒̚Ơ̶̢̬̦͙͚̝̒̏̈́̚Ŭ̶͕̗̣̎͘͝Ŗ̴̨̱̪̹͉̰͆ ̸̪͓̱̒̀̊͑͑Ļ̵͖͖̉I̵̡̨̭̺̼̺̟͌̏̾̽͌V̴̢̢̛͚̫͌͗͑͜͜ͅẺ̸̮͖̹͇̰̀̐̊S̸̨̲̜̖͍͚̙͉̥͊̀!̶̮̱̻͑!̶̩̦̫̓͑̇̿͛ͅ!̵̹̲̯̦̗̹̗̹̃̈́͛̐͝!̵̼̿͑̃̉̕͜!̷͍̮̝͖̙̫̫̺́̅̐̔!̶̭̻̫̭̗̗̼̏̈̆͒͝!̷̗͚̣͇̑̓̒̂͑̔́̈̄

Ä̶͇̪̘̹̦̰̥̪̞̺́͆̉͂̀̆̈̈̈́̌̽͊̏͠Ą̶̨̧̪̻̗̯̘̭̺́̅͒͊͌̈́̑̈́̓̑̿͆̕͝ͅÄ̵̢͇͍̉́̿̔͋͌͛̾̿̂̚͝͝Ą̸̢̯̬̹͖͉̻͇̘̱̙̖́̓ͅĄ̶̛̯̝̰̜͍̬͇̹̈̀̋͑̅̉̚͝Â̷̢̡͈͍̞̮͖̥͌̊̈́͐͝Ã̶̛̦̠͕A̶̖͎̗̜̳̘̪͈͙̍̍̒̀̑͜ͅA̷͚̰͕̻̯̪̔͆͆͗A̶̘̝̞͖̹̙͖͚̥͎̫͈̓͗͐̒́̈́͌̊̓̇̽̒͌͋͝A̸̭͕͋͋̎̀͂͛̈́̕͠À̵̼̓̑͋̅̍̿̀͗͗͊̂̓̚͝Ạ̶̧̨̧̤͖̠͍̜̱͐̆̽̿̆̇́͗͝͝͠Ä̷̱̼̝͇̱͐̈̐̈́̏͆̽͌͂̏̈́̀̐̅A̵̛̛̱̥͐̂̈́̃̐̀́̏͝Ä̷̼͕͉̭͖̣̼̺̺̩͍̯̭́̽̒̎̑̓͘ͅͅA̵̳̰͋̌̀̍́̈͑̿̋̃ͅĄ̷͈͎̮̬̠̻̀͐Ạ̵̢̢̣̻̻̯̰̦͉̮͓̯̔̏́̍͒̋̀͆̓͒̆͝͝͝A̶̝̝̻͉̼̫̹̱͇̓̑́̌̌̐̍̄͝A̴̛͕̫̰̹͈͙͖̪͒͂͆̈́͋̚Ą̸̖̻̹̹̣̹͓̩̩̲̓͆́͋̇͋̃̽͝͝A̸̻͔̲̥̠͐̏̈̅͆̀̍̒̀͌̕Ä̸̮͖̱͐̅̀Ǡ̶̧̡̛͍͉̠͇̗̉̇̔̽̇͛̔̂̉̌̚A̷̛͈͈̫̲͙̾̈́͂ͅA̸̢̢̝͉̼̫̔̆̑͑̔̊̓̎̚͝͝ͅA̵̢̧̛̗̮̮̭̫̹͔̹̮̫͌͂͌̔̔̄͒̌͑̌͘͜͝͝A̷̠̋A̸̡̜̭̫̤̝̩͎̦͑̃͋̏͠ͅA̸̡̨̯̮͕̭̠̺͈̜͖̗͂͒̐̈͆Â̵̟͔̘͂̃̏͌̓͒͋͊̀̇͐̚̕̚A̶̡̲͉̗̲̬̜͈̻̟͚͈̠͉̩̋̌̈́̐͂̍̓͐̉̆̇̃̕͝͝Â̴̳̻͍̯̗͉̣̞̥̙͋͌͂͊͗̏̃̈́͘Á̶̢̧̧̠̞͕̞͎̼̪̻̠̩̫̄́̋̅͆̀̊̇͘͘Ä̸̢̡̬̬̜̻́͊̈́̇̌̂́̋́̅̍͜Ã̴͍̫̲̤͈̐̄͒͋͗̋͑̓̾̓͒̃͘A̴̢̛̗͕͔̝͖͛̅̀̍̔̑Ā̷̧̛̩̘̘̹̭͈͇̣̗͉͙̣̈A̵̮̣͙͊̑͐̈́͠Ą̵̛̠̖͍̥̜̟͇͎͎̅͆͐̄͋̊̌̔̋̾̒̚͝ͅA̶̦̖̗̫̜̼̦̯͎̲̔̀̎̂̅̔̍͑͑̂͗̈́̕͘͝ͅA̴̢̢̧̞͕̺͍̣̳̹̮̜̥̅̑̈͠Ḁ̶̛̟̘̉̈́͑̐̔̂̑͝Ḁ̶̥͕͓̩̩͈̘͒͛͑͝͠Ả̸̧̞͉͈̊̀̈́͐͊̐̉̀͒Å̵̳͕͕̼̦̜̱A̵̧͉̖̦̼̺͉̙̗͈͓̹̠̦̅͜A̴̩̓̂̌ͅǍ̶̛̗̬͕̼̩͙͎͐̓́̔̊̾̓̽̾́̚Ǻ̴͖̤̯̈̈́̉͗̊̾̍͘̕͝͠͝Ą̷̩̬͇̹̮̺̇Ȃ̴̳͙͋̓͌̌̆͐̂̄̚͠͝Ǟ̸̻̹̲̜͎́͐̃̓̕͠͝͝Ą̸̬͚̪̳͕͙͓͖͚̹̘͑̀̈̅͛̿͋̃́̋͘͠A̵̹̮͖̣̻̘̗̟̋̐̋̓̉̇̍̈̓́̔̅̉̊͜Ȃ̵̧͙̽͊̌̔̂͝A̶̮̒̔̂A̷̧̛͎̞̗̽̏̀̔͌̎̂̀A̶̤̻͎͌̊̍̒̀̓̅͛̿͂̊̀͘̚͠A̷̳̝̝̓̿͘Ǎ̶̛̖̜͕̖̤̲̣̠̥͚̆͑̏̓͂̌̈́͋̑͗̚͠͠À̶̢̢̙̩̟̖͔̳̎̈́̈̒ͅẠ̶̘̹̦͉̬̰̝̘̫̈̋̽͌͒̑͊̌̍̾͑͝A̷̡̢̧̙̰̮̠̠̫͈̯͗͊̀͗͒͋̄̑́̍͆͒͠Ä̷̧͕̖͖͕̗̲̲͓̞̟̣̲̙̐̽̊͝͠ͅA̶̛̰̝̙̣̤̙̝̗͋̆̓͊̀͘͠͝ͅA̶̢̢̯̰̜͈̭̯̰̯̫̎̔̋̀̌̇̓̽̽Ȁ̶̧̨̨̺̜̤̈̉̎̒̀͠A̵̪̩̼̮̻̜͕͍̓͒̓̉̈́̍̈̂͘͜Ą̴͖͙̜̦̄̏͗ͅA̵̡̙̱̳̭̪̙̰̐̄͋̈́̄̉̋͆̐̽̋̿͜A̷͉͋͑͋̂́̋̆̈́̿͛̂̚Ḁ̴̛̃̏ (Headphone warning)

Ahem, my apologies. :3c

Also, I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO SEE SPOILERS, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE GAME FOR A LONG TIME AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANYTHING UNTIL I ACTUALLY PLAY THE GAME MYSELF IF WE EVER END UP BUYING A SWITCH AND THE GAME! I’m definitely gonna try boycotting the internet, boycott Twitter, boycott YouTube, mute every news site and journalist, etc.

By the way, on the morning of the 29th, when I made myself breakfast, I happened to talk to my mom that I want to buy NMH3 so bad and we agreed that starting on January, we’re gonna start saving for a Switch and the game, didn’t expect to tell her about it sooner but I actually did it! We seriously need to buy a Switch ASAP, and I cannot afford to wait for a long time to buy a Switch AND the game even if it’ll come out in other consoles, I want to play the game right on launch, I’ve been waiting for this game for a seriously long time!

I had considered making this list with NMH3 as my only most anticipated game, but there are some other releases I should look out for (Which of course I’ll probably never play because of money):

Resident Evil Village: The remake period is over (Though it ended in a conflicted way with RE3) and we’re finally back on track with completely new games, especially the sequel to RE7.

Not only there’s a new Resident Evil game but there’s going to be a new CGI series following Leon and Claire on Netflix as well. So we’re getting new game that continues Ethan’s story and whatever the hell is happening to Chris, while we’re also getting a new series that continues Leon and Claire’s story.

Shin Megami Tensei V: It’s been years since we haven’t heard anything about SMTV until this July where we finally got a brand new trailer and teased to be coming this year. My older sister would seriously love to play this, but we don’t have a Switch yet...

MADNESS: Project Nexus (Madness Project Nexus 2): I really hope for sure they’ll release Project Nexus 2 this 2021, the game’s been in development for a very long time and it’s constantly getting delayed, so I don’t think I might have high hopes to see the game being released at this point, but even so, I’m still going to count it as my anticipated release of 2021 (Hopefully).

I played the demo of the game, however, and I had a blast, although it’s certainly a little confusing, but my bigger problem was the framerate I’ve been getting, which the game is a little intensive and I expected the game would perform well on low end computers, but at least I manged to play it.

I’m not very happy with how they changed the title, it went from “Madness Project Nexus 2″ to “MADNESS: Project Nexus,” the new name is absolutely confusing and someone might get mixed up with the original Flash game, or so I thought it would be as the original Flash game was eventually renamed to “Madness: Project Nexus (Classic),” which part of it makes me think it’s a remake of its own but at the same time there’s still new additions, like new enemies and new story campaign that kinda justifies that the new Project Nexus game is still a sequel.

On the topic of Newgrounds games...

Alien Hominid Invasion: With the Castle Crashers remaster, the next Behemoth remaster is the classic Alien Hominid. Depending on how much the game will cost on Steam, I will for sure buy and play it immediately. I think Newgrounds games are best played on PC.

Before you experience the Alien Hominid remaster, you should check out the original version available in Ruffle’s demo page, which Ruffle is a new open source replacement for Adobe Flash. (Be warned that the game’s one-hit death might frustrate you, it sure does to me and I really hope that’s not a thing in the remaster, if not, then I guess that’s Alien Hominid’s intended nature, although it’s probably what every side-scrolling shooter is)

Reverse Collapse: Code Name Bakery: Girls’ Frontline may not be my top gacha games I religiously play like I wanted, and then there’s a plethora of Girls’ Frontline games coming out sooner, some of them are spin-offs and then there’s Girls’ Frontline 2: Exilium, which I’m not interested in the least, to be honest, but there is one game that is now being re-released and localized for global audiences, and even getting retconned to be more connected towards Girls’ Frontline, this is a game that came out years before Girls’ Frontline and for a long time it was widely believed this game was a sequel to Girls’ Frontline, taking place over 30 YEARS after GFL and now it is indeed confirmed! I’m talking about Code Name Bakery, or originally called as Codename: Bakery Girl.

Even if I’m not a huge avid player of Girls’ Frontline like I wanted to since I’ve always been a gun aficionado and I almost don’t know much about what’s going on in the story (But there’s my Philipino friend, Ten, to tell me), I certainly wouldn’t mind to play Code Name Bakery.

Back 4 Blood: Everyone’s pretty much referring this game as Left 4 Dead 3 because it was created by the creators of the first L4D (While L4D2 was all developed and published by Valve in-house). I kid you not, when I saw the reveal trailer in this The Game Awards, I was definitely like “I’m getting some Left 4 Dead vibes” maybe because of the characters and the special zombies, and then the title “Back 4 Blood” was shown and I was like “Is this like a spiritual successor or something?” but now everyone’s calling it Left 4 Dead 3, so I’ll have to stick with it.

And to be honest, I’m not really sure if I’m really interested on this one. Even if this is a new Left 4 Dead game from the creators of the original game, now known as Turtle Rock Studios, there’s just something about the game’s identity that doesn’t sit right with me. And then looking at the pre-alpha gameplay, it just looks like any other generic first person zombie survival game with the modern graphics and stuff, the characters and the zombies don’t look anything brightful and special like the first two L4D games, I wouldn’t call the aesthetic bland, but everything about it just doesn’t do anything to me, at least it’s not a brand new L4D by name or even by Valve, which this is published by Warner Bros Games instead and I’m not really sure about them as publishers or their products.

As much as I’d like to get interested in this game from the creators of the first game and people call it Left 4 Dead 3, I’m better off with the first two games. Oh, even Left 4 Dead 2 even got updated a few months ago. Despite my skepticism, I will continue watching Let’s Players’ videos and see if it’ll change my mind.

Fate/Extra Record: This is probably gonna be a 2022 release, but I’ll be damned if it would actually come out later this 2021, so I’m still gonna mention it here anyways.

Tookyo Games releases: This one’s a little tricky because we all know Tookyo Games has a plethora of projects coming out, but what we don’t know for sure is when some of these will come out, maybe the closest one could be Tribe Nine, but I’m more curious about the other projects and hopefully they’ll come out this year.

And finally...

Tsukihime remake: HOLY SHIT! I can’t believe it’s finally happening after all these years!

Um... I always thought that whenever we see stuff about the Tsukihime remake, I would immediately play the original game. BUT I NEVER EXPECTED THEY WOULD ACTUALLY ANNOUNCE IT FOR THIS SUMMER!

Once I'm done with some things, I'm definitely gonna go play the original!

Top 6 best movies of the Year

At first I listed all the following films in a nearly chronological order from what I remember when have seen these films throughout the entire year, but I decided that maybe I should make this list as a ranked list, even if some of the films don’t necessarily impressed me so much in the least, if it weren’t for COVID-19, Venom: Let There Be Carnage would have been my #1, and Morbius would have been my #2. Anyways, let’s go:

6.- The New Mutants: I wasn’t able to watch New Mutants in the cinema the day it was released like I wanted, but some time later I was able to watch the film and it was pretty interesting, I liked it.

5.- Birds of Prey: Never knew I needed a full R rated DCEU movie (Though it’s not the first one. The first one is the R rated cut of Batman v Superman but I don’t know how it’s different from the theatrical cut), there’s still some ties but I feel like this kinda feels more like a standalone film, but it was quite fun. This kind of serves as a good road to The Suicide Squad.

4.- My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising: I mentioned this a couple of times because this is probably the only thing I can say about the film, but this is actually the last film I saw before the pandemic broke out.

Though one thing I have to say about the My Hero Academia movies is that I wish the manga can actually make references to the films so it would acknowledge they exist because sometimes I can’t thoroughly figure out the timeline or flat out call them non-canon (Which they aren’t), and the villains are immediately forgettable. Although given what’s currently happening in the manga (and it’s completely nuts), I doubt the manga would ever reference the films.

3.- Parasite: This was a 2019 release (I think), but after the Oscars this year, it was ran in my theaters so I had to watch it before I watched Sonic the Hedgehog next. After seeing the film, I find it pretty interesting, not to mention the ending shocked me, but in all honesty, I wasn’t like completely amazed as I was with Joker, even my family thinks that they prefer Joker over Parasite, that’s not to say it didn’t deserve to win Best Picture in the Oscars, but Parasite as a film doesn’t mean anything special to me.

2.- Wonder Woman 1984: I wasn’t looking forward to see the film in my birthday because I didn’t want anything other than Venom 2 since it got delayed because of COVID, but later it got delayed to Christmas and I was glad.

December came, the film comes out a week earlier in Mexico than in US and HBO Max, I saw the film and it was actually better than I expected, I think I like it better than the first film. Now that I think about it, maybe I wished Wonder Woman 1984 wasn’t delayed because my birthday was so disappointing and boring without anything special to see. Although even if I liked WW1984 so much, I don’t think it probably would have been the best birthday film I would have seen if it didn’t get delayed, but it was still worth it.

There’s one particular thing about the film I liked very much, but since the film recently came out, it’s too soon for me to put spoilers, but I’ll redact them in ROT13, you may or may not want to decode this, it’s your choice:

[V ybir jung gurl qvq gb gur Jbaqre Jbzna punenpgre, gurl jrag shyy pynffvp Jbaqre Jbzna jvgu gur vaivfvoyr wrg naq sylvat, juvpu vf fbzrguvat V unira'g frra irel bsgra va ure zbqrea vapneangvbaf nf bs yngr.]

But then there’s the moment when I start getting the feeling of wanting to pee so bad, and the worst part is it started around halfway or the quarter of the film. Then in the film’s climax, my bladder was dying so bad that... Believe it or not, I had to empty my soda cup and actually pee on it! I DIDN’T HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE, OKAY?! Geez, I really should limit myself how much soda should I drink, but I even took a pee in my home before leaving! What an awful way to end my older sister and I’s cinema experience of the year, having our bladders nearly exploding.

When the credits started rolling, I was slowly standing up, I was putting my belt on and somehow I happened to see a mid-credits scene I never knew it would have, although it’s nothing hugely worldbuilding significant, but [Vg'f whfg n fznyy sha fprar jvgu Ylaqn Pnegre nf Nfgrevn.]

At this point the DCEU is definitely going to have post-credits scenes, maybe I should check the news beforehand whether the upcoming movies have post-credits scenes or not, I always thought the DCEU wouldn’t have post-credits scenes, but since Suicide Squad, Justice League and even recently Aquaman, it should be time that I should sit all the way to the credits, maybe just any other movie in general too.

1.- Sonic the Hedgehog: I had some fun watching this film and I think I actually liked it better than Detective Pikachu in terms of pacing. Can you imagine watching this film with the awful old Sonic design from the very first trailer? I don’t think I would have liked this film with the old Sonic design the same way as I do now. I’m glad that a sequel is even happening now.

Honorable mention

Promare: This was a 2019 release and I’ve been waiting for so long for it to come out in my theaters, Konnichiwa Festival disappointed me with the 2020 line-up and all of it was history for early in the year before the pandemic.

When the pandemic has broke out, I randomly happened to watch Promare in my house, torrented from the Blu-Ray rip, and BOY, I WAS SO AMAZED WITH THE FILM, SERIOUSLY! I think it was for the best seeing Promare at home in case the cinema might have had full of Mexican weebs screaming their asses off.

Around September, my dream of Promare coming out to my cinema has finally come true! The day my family and I went to see The New Mutants, we have planned to see Promare right after we finished watching The New Mutants, although we didn’t get to see TNM because there were some technical issues with the screenings in the cinema for some reason.

So we waited over 3 hours to see Promare, my older sister and I got into the cinema to see the film, and the experience... Was rather lukewarm.

In one hand, my older sister and I were the ONLY ones seeing Promare late that night, but on the other hand, the way the film was screened was an absolute mess. I don’t know what to blame, the aspect ratio or the subtitles because the subtitles were almost non-existent, it was as if we were seeing a raw anime film in Japan. It was so bad that my older sister did NOT understand what even happened in the story. Given that I had seen the film, I tried my best to try to explain her what was Gray planning with the Burnish but my brain pooped out and couldn’t continue. Later I told her to look for spoilery summaries or something and she says she may have somewhat gotten the context of the film, but it doesn’t feel right to me. I’m not sure if she has looked up on spoiler summaries now.

Things get worse when I realized seeing The New Mutants and Promare in the same day could have been the second time I could have seen two films in the cinema in the same day since February with Parasite and Sonic The Hedgehog.

Another weird thing I haven’t thought a lot is that this wasn’t actually distributed by Konnichiwa Festival like most other films, this was actually distributed by none other than Cinépolis themselves with the +QUE CINE thing, and that makes me lead to believe that either the screenings from the cinema or Cinepolis themselves butchered really badly the subtitles.

The cinema experience may have been an absolute disappointment, but it was no doubt a very good experience seeing the film upclose in the cinema with the gorgeous animations and visuals, and my older sister and I being literally the only ones who have seen the film, it makes a new record of seeing a film with my family all alone since 2017 with Kong: Skull Island with me, my mom and a random dude.

Most anticipated movies of 2021

This next list is going to be different, as I’m going to count a couple of movies per entry, more like categories for different kinds of franchises that I’m most excited to see, so here goes.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Spider-Man 3 and Morbius: Since 2018, this is the second best time to be a Spider-Man fan! (However, we won’t see Spider-Verse 2 until 2022) My #1 most anticipated film of 2020 was of course Venom: Let There be Carnage, I seriously wanted to see it so bad but because of COVID, the film got delayed until like June or July. I was seriously pissed as the film was gonna be released on October 2nd which that could have been my one chance to see a Venom film IN MY BIRTHDAY, ONE FUCKING CHANCE, and Sony wasted it! Given that it was October, it could have been a good time to have the film released but seems like the COVID situation wasn't getting any better.

There's also Morbius which I'm genuinely curious as to how they're actually building up the Sony Venomverse with the MCU since the end of the trailer features Michael Keaton's Adriam Toomes from Spider-Man: Homecoming. Yeah, so far this sounds really complicated, but I'm sure it'll all be clear once we see the film.

And lastly there's Spider-Man 3 (Working title) which is probably the hypest out of the three films on this list. For a while, the news I've seen were about the posiblity of Kraven the Hunter being the film's villain, and there wasn't anything else after that, there wasn't much special things for the film and I always saw it as a follow up to Far From Home which I would still see. Then there were news of Doctor Strange being the next MCU hero to be featured in a Spider-Man film since Iron Man in Homecoming and Nick Fury in Far From Home (who turned out to be Talos the Skrull from Captain Marvel throughout most of the movie), this was certainly interesting, but as time went on... Things started to get wild. There were reports of Jamie Foxx returning to Spider-Man 3 as Electro, possibly the very same version from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 or just an MCU version of Electro, who knows but the fact that they're casting Jamie Foxx since TASM2 was quite interesting, but wait, that's not the craziest part, later I started to see news of Alfred Molina cast as the Doctor Octopus AGAIN, and for the final blow... Rumors of Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield possibly returning into Spider-Man 3 and a leaked video from an official Latin American Sony channel that said "Who's your favorite Spider-Man? You might see all Spider-Men at once, anything is possible" or something like that...

OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! THEY'RE DOING LIVE-ACTION SPIDER-VERSE?! HOLY SHIT, DON'T DO ME LIKE THIS! I'M NOT PREPARED!

The rumors about Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield returning for Spider-Man 3 as their Spider-Men might be a hoax and it's all rumors, sure, but it might not even be a hoax at all! For more solid proof that this could potentially be a live-action Spider-Verse film, in the Disney investors meeting, they confirmed that Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (Which happens to be directed by Sam Raimi of all people, and it's coming in 2022) CONFIRMED that actually ties to Wandavision and... "THE NEXT SPIDER-MAN FILM." So there you go! That pretty much confirms it now that they might actually be doing live-action Spider-Verse now! This is actually going to be the BEST live-action Spider-Man film ever!

With all these Spider-Man 3 live-action Spider-Verse news, I completely forgot about the news that Kraven was gonna be in the film, I really hope they might still include him in some way in the film as Tom Holland Spider-Man's villain, and it isn't explicitly confirmed that Jamie Foxx's Electro and Alfred Molina's Doc Ock are either the same versions as their original versions or completely new MCU versions of the characters, who knows.

This is lowkey confirmed with the Disney investors meeting that the Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness ties to the next Spider-Man film, but what if all the live-action Spider-Verse stuff may not end up being true? In case if it's not true and it'll be just like Far From Home where it can continue Spider-Man's story from where the post-credits left off, I would still see Spider-Man 3 anyway, I'm always down for whatever MCU or Spider-Man film may end up be.

I know I wanted to see Venom: Let There be Carnage so bad, especially for my 21st birthday which I didn't get anything to watch and my birthday end up being a disappointment, but the problem is, we still haven't seen a proper trailer or anything, even for a film that was supposed to come out in October before it was delayed because of COVID! So far they only released a teaser trailer of the title and the new release window, and I really hope early this year, we can expect some trailers anytime soon, although the first Spider-Man film coming out this 2021 is Morbius.

So yeah, since 2018, 2021 is going to be the second best year to be a Spider-Man fan!

Black Widow, Eternals and Shang-Chi: First let’s talk about Black Widow because I’m the most scared of how the film is gonna be received given that when the concept art was shown at Comic Con and then the first trailer was released, people absolutely hate Taskmaster’s design, I mean, sure, he may not look comic accurate but aspects of it still kinda look like the comics and HE LOOKS BADASS! WHAT’S WRONG WITH EVERYONE?! THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH TASKMASTER’S DESIGN! Another thing is that I’m feeling that Black Widow may become Captain Marvel 2.0 where people hate the film for no reason, for a while there was some hate around the film because of some shit with Brie Larson and whatever, but most of the hate I’ve seen all goes towards the film quality, I don’t really see anything wrong with the film when I saw it, it’s rather decent, but with that said, I couldn’t stop thinking for the entire movie that there’s nothing wrong with this, etc.

I don't think even my older sister would wanna see Black Widow either as she never even cared about the character in Avengers: Endgame and she liked a tweet where someone said "Marvel making everything military sucks so much" which NO, IT FUCKING DOESN'T! I LOVE MILITARY AESTHETICS AND SHIT, YOU JUST HAVE SHIT TASTE, MY GUY!

The next films coming out are The Eternals and Shiang-Chi, although there's not much to talk about them since we haven't seen any trailers or anything so far, but I'm definitely gonna watch them.

I'm of course gonna be watching every single MCU-related thing, whether it's the movies or the Disney+ shows, I will follow everything! And no, I don't do this out of obligation (Someone in the RPG Site Discord server told me that and I'm forever pissed about it), it's called doing things religiously!

And speaking of the Disney+ shows...

BONUS: Wandavision, The Falcon & Winter Soldier, Loki, What If?: This is kind of a miscellaneous list as these are actually series in a movies list, that’s weird but deal with it. Say what you want about Disney+, and there’s quite a lot of MCU Disney+ shows coming I’m losing track which ones are coming out in 2021, but I think these four are what are coming this year.

Probably the series I’m most excited to see is Falcon & Winter Soldier, I have no idea what is even going on with Wandavision and Loki, as for Wandavision, since that one’s coming out in two weeks, I have to watch it as a lead up to Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness in 2022, as for Loki, I don’t realy understand it in the least so far. What If, there’s not much to talk about, it’s literally just “What If” with alternate versions of the films’ events, although I do admire the animation, it’s not Spider-Verse tier but it looks very nice.

I got a mail from PayPal offering me 250 pesos to subscribe to Disney+, I don’t think there may be an expiration date somewhere in the mail so I really hope the offer would still last, but until Wandavision comes out, I’m definitely willing to pay for Disney+.

Several Warner Bros. releases: Around early December, it was announced that all of the upcoming Warner Bros films of 2021 will be released on theaters AND HBO Max at the same time! That’s insane! It sounds really interesting, although I’m not sure if I would watch all the films in HBO Max, I would still love to go to the movie theater, depending on how much HBO Max costs and when is it coming out in Mexico. Also, that’s not to say that I would like to see them ALL, no no, I will only see the films that I’m interested the most:

Mortal Kombat: I actually loved the original Mortal Kombat films when I was a kid, although I’ve actually seen the second one and I still have the DVD which I bought when MK9 was released, although even that scene with CGI dragon Liu Kang cringed the shit out of me when I was a kid. For a while I heard this would be coming out in January 15th 2021 but it’s now coming to April, which is for the best because I haven’t seen any trailers or anything from it so far.

Tom & Jerry: I’m not sure if i would like to watch this, I’m feeling that maybe I would like to do so, so far this is kind of a bizarre concept but what I greatly admire is how Tom and Jerry are animated, it makes me think of Space Jam.

Godzilla vs. Kong: I started following the Monsterverse since Kong: Skull Island and before I’ve seen Godzilla: King of the Monsters in the cinema, I saw the first film, I like this series so far, and I can’t wait to see this one.

Space Jam: A New Legacy: I’m surprised how secretive the news and the marketing has been, every time I’ve seen this trending on Twitter, I never see these big movie news sites like The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline, not even IGN were reporting about a legit Space Jam 2 teaser trailer at some point, or the film in general as of late, for that matter.

The Suicide Squad: Just my usual tradition of watching whatever DC films, whether they’re DCEU or not, and this appears to be DCEU, or at least having the same actors playing certain characters. If there’s one thing I would complain about this, is the title, just “The Suicide Squad” when the first Suicide Squad film which is titled “Suicide Squad” is really stupid.

Dune: I just need something to watch on cinemas in my birthday, this year was a disappointment since Venom: Let There Be Carnage was delayed, if it weren’t for COVID-19, I would have gotten a great birthday film that might have even surpassed Joker.

The Matrix 4: This one I’m genuinely curious to see and know what the hell is even going to happen in the film considering how the original trilogy ended. And for a while before COVID broke out, it was originally gonna be released with John Wick Chapter 4 at the same time, it would have been insane to have double Keanu Reeves films being released simultaneously and I have to choose one over the other, but I’m glad both films got delayed and they’re not being released simultaneously anymore.

Justice League Snyder Cut: This one’s kinda miscellaneous since this entire list is basically the recently announced films that are coming to the cinema and HBO Max at the same time, and I actually kept forgetting about this one and this one’s treated more as a series. We’ve come a long way since the Release the Snyder Cut campaign happened for years, and by a miracle, it’s finally happening. This film, or rather series, feels more like a remake of the Justice League film with some of the archived footage from the Snyder Cut before Zack Snyder left the project from his daughter’s passing, but apparently new scenes are being filmed. I really hope this saves the DCEU because as of late I can’t tell if the films are actually connected anymore (With the exceptions of Joker, The Batman, etc).

Mission Impossible 7: Since Fallout, I think I’m going to start following the Mission Impossible series from now on. Note that there’s Mission Impossible 8 coming out in 2022 as well.

That's all I have to discuss about my best and worst of 2020 and my most anticipated 2021 releases, boy, I seriously wrote a lot for everything and that's probably what took the most of my time to write this post (Aside from my laziness), but I really hope you liked my best and worst of 2020 and my most anticipated releases of 2021. And moving on...

Now it’s time for the one category that it’s always all talk and never deliver, I may contradict what the following headline will be, but it's pretty much what's going to be true...

No more resolutions

Yeah, I can't even bother writing these same tiring resolutions I'm not gonna even fulfill over and over. It's an endless cycle.

Drawing every day.

Behaving better.

Working out.

Writing my novel.

Give me a break. Is there seriously a point in telling you all these resolutions that I supposedly want to do but I never end up doing anything anyways? And if I were to actually do these resolutions, I wouldn’t tell you about it. (I read a study with a headline “If you want to be successful, don’t tell others about it” or something like that, which I’m still telling you about these resolutions I want to do and end up failing anyways)

Let me break things down in parts about my expected future:

Behavior:

In terms of doing homeworks with my mom: Yesterday on the 30th, she just told me there's already homework but it's for January 11th and we'll do it on the 4th, it's not even 2021 and we're already off to a great start, although it's something that my mom has to read from, so I hope it'll be fine for now, but for future homeworks, I don't have the highest hopes for it because I'm easily trigger happy in these homeworks, there's seriously a lot wrong between all of us in how we do these homeworks, we make our lives miserable if it weren't for my older sister's stupid forced pension that she has to study no matter what, and then like my mom's pension, my pension or whatever there is that we get money, either they don't give us enough money or my mom always end up spending most of the money in groceries that would last for a week and other things, this is bullshit!

In terms of people's opinions: I seriously wish I could not give a shit about what literally everyone says about certain things, not even my family, but that shit is just everywhere and I really can't help but make at least one comment that something's not bad or whatever, I said this countless times but I'm very trigger happy.

In terms of artists: I'm going to continue be a douchebag and criticize their art and themselves behind their backs in my private Discord server, whether in public channels or privately if shit gets insanely serious.

Working out:

I'd seriously love to start working out immediately right now, but given how extremely cold as shit my country is, it just motivates me a lot less to start working out! Besides, my mom hasn't even bought the mat like we talked about for ages, she always forgets about it and I'm always waiting for her to deliver, but even if I would like to start working out, I would still have to eat fats instead of actually going in a diet, can't go back to the gym because of COVID, and most of all, I'm so fucking lazy. I always tend to do one workout for one day and that's it, I never do it daily. This and what I'm going to talk about above are something I can't develop a daily routine of!

My drawing skills and my future of my project:

I now have a Wacom Intuos that is bundled with 3 programs, but I only installed Clip Studio Paint because that's what I care the most, the other programs are trials and they're worthless as shit, I did make at least two pictures to mess around but as of late I've barely been touching it because I'm still having a hard time figuring out what to do with the brushes and stuff and I'm so obsessed in having the brushes default, default brushes with default settings, etc. I'm just not too comfortable tweaking the brushes to my preference and changing the sizes is gonna be extremely hard depending on what canvas size for my pictures would be and having to tweak the brush sizes for the canvas is so inconsistent!

As for the future of my project, I really want to continue bringing my project to life, and now that I have a Wacom Intuos, if I really put myself to try to sketch every day and everything in order to improve my art style, hopefully drastically, I can actually try to make my project in a much better format, especially comics, I would love to return to draw comics because, I said this numerous times, I used to draw comics mindlessly when I was a kid, but two years later, I somehow got a slump and just like that, I stopped drawing comics for good, but now if I try to figure out my story right, I may actually bring my project as comics, literature can suck my dick! And because I'm an artist, it's best to make art for my project all by myself since literally nobody I asked wants to work with me!

I seriously had no idea how to write, never even bothered to read books and everything else to even care about the basics and essential of writing, I always thought it would have been an easier way to bring my story to life and make adaptations of them as soon as possible. I seriously had no idea what kind of story should my project be, I was extremely unconfident about it and... I don't want to say this but I seriously hated what I was doing with my novel, my writing was obviously shit and it gave me nothing but headaches, I gave up. Although it's not like I completely cancelled the project and lost interest in it, it will always live on... inside my head with constant brainstorming and headcanons.

I had a plan to deliver my project and make it successful immediately overnight and try to make the series go big ASAP in 10 YEARS, but now after giving up writing the novel, I completely wasted 1 year, so now I have 9 years to do this shit. The reason why I want to rush now is because I want my franchise to exist, I want to work with my favorite actors and other creators before some of them retire or pass away, and I SERIOUSLY cannot let this opportunity and dream go to waste!

Even though I have Clip Studio Paint now and I would love to make comics, my copy of Clip Studio Paint that was bundled in my Wacom Intuos is Pro, the features are very limited, so there's not much I can do about that. My other options in trying to bring my story to life are either making visual novels or RPG Maker games, those sound like very valid choices, but there are still some limits. If I were to make VNs, I would have to learn how to use Renpy, my art has to be good and I have to hire some people to do some extra things like I don't know, backgrounds and even the background music and sound effects which I can't even afford to do all that. Then there's RPG Maker, I bought RPG Maker MV when it was at a crazy good discount in the Steam Summer Sale but I opened it for a few minutes and I have no idea what to do, I try to watch numerous tutorials on how to use it but I still don't understand, another thing that I don't like about RPG Maker is that some programming is still needed somewhere, I have no fucking clue about programming, and RPG Maker always advertises itself as a somewhat easy engine, talk about false advertising. Besides, RPG Maker games aren’t as relevant where they become overnight hits and turn into franchises as they used to be anymore, so it really doesn’t do me any favors. So I guess my only choice is try to continue creative writing in some form, I have a better way in how to do things without the old fashion boring ass way, I would have to indicate what character says what and everything has to be in present tense, kinda like the visual novel elements in some games, and I won't give a shit about what anyone says about my writing format, there's no other way.

Even though I haven't really abandoned the project out of my life and will always continue brainstorming headcanons and different stuff, I hate to say this, but I think my project has grown to have an identity crisis. Everything I brainstorm are pretty much copying from literally everything I see, like movie scenes or even the entire movies, especially the MCU movies with wanting to make my own version of Avengers: Endgame mixed with Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Another weird thing about my brain is that, for years, I've always had a mood on wanting to make a Kingdom Hearts-like series with my project and some other franchises, and believe it or not, my crossover candidates were Persona and Danganronpa. No, this wasn't intended to be for fanfiction purposes, I wanted to legitimately make them into a reality! One day I eventually dropped the Persona and Danganronpa crossover idea with my project and opted towards literally making Americanized discount rip-off characters to be copyright-free and to fit in my story (Although eventually they have evolved into their own characters). Everything seemed well enough but my brain is coming back to this fantasy of making a Kingdom Hearts series but with Arknights. There's a lot to discuss about that but I don't want to get into further details.

So yeah, pretty much my originality only resides within the characters and their designs, everything else like the stories and some elements, rather of calling them "inspiration," it's more like heavily borrowing or straight-up copying, so I have no idea what to do with my series at this point. Not to mention that I constantly brainstorm all these things which they're all for stuff that comes LONG after the first installment of my project which I'll never release, and it makes me not wanting to go back into that. Another criticism my older sister gave me about my project is that I tend to create a lot of characters only to show off their designs and never give them any purpose, and I guess it shows.

I said this before but I’ll say it again:

What I love about my project is that I always use my imagination, everything just feels satisfying when I can think of every scenario possible and even make drawings because pictures are worth a thousand words. Whate I hate about my project is the act of doing it, showing it off, explain to some people if you're prepared, something like that.

Maybe my project shouldn't exist. In fact, it already exists, how I want the video game and other adaptations, everything exists, inside my head. They have and will always be in my head, and there's a lot more stories and characters to come. I have seen everything and they're exactly like I always wanted, I'm completely satisfied. There's no need for my project to really exist, only for me to become poor, a total nobody, and even if it were a best seller, it might get adapted in the wrong hands, but in the end, it doesn't matter because I always know I won't even succeed, it won't be an instant crazy hit and it will never be as time passes.

(That two paragraphs above is pretty much my copypasta to talk about my project)

Another thing I'm questioning in my life right now is...

My future as a Custom Maid Twitter account:

Lately I don't really make a lot of Custom Maid screenshots on my own, sometimes I do but they're mostly collabs, and I would occasionally tell people to make collab pictures with our OCs together, sometimes it does happen but the frequency of these collab screenshots happening have decreased drastically, not to mention that there are some that weren't interested, which kinda sucks

To be honest, I really haven't been motivated on making Custom Maid screenshots at all. The game runs so slow given that I have a lot of the game's content and mods which most of them I barely use, and I have no idea what screenshots to make, even if I were to look at prompts, not to mention I created some characters which I barely ever used and I almost never get immediate attention when I post my screenshots. I seriously want to retire from doing Custom Maid because of what I just said with my motivation and stuff, and then there's the whole drama with maidin which I mentioned a long scroll up ago which really affected me so much. I even had prepared some legacy files compiling my presets and my screenshots.

Even if I say numerous times that I want to retire or I'm done, I'm still considering that maybe I shouldn't quit, but even if I'm not retired, I still have no plans or even interest to make screenshots again, so I'll have to talk to some of my JP mutuals and Ten about it. After what I did to maidin, I feel like I'm no longer want to be part of the Custom Maid community and I don't want to be a burden on it. Hinosuna who was the one person I followed the most hasn't made screenshots at all as of late for 6 months and I doubt he will ever return, let alone talking to the guy ever again, and there's another person who blocked me for no reason after telling him about my birthday a day later which I did tell him I was from Mexico, talk about being xenophobic.

So there you go, my not-so category talking about my resolutions, I seriously didn't want to talk about this since I'm not even gonna do shit about the things that I want anyway, but I did it. Still, keep in mind that I'm probably not gonna be able to do any of these because of my sheer laziness and gaming addiction. Please let me know what to do with all this and hopefully it can change my mind.

Conclusion

Phew! This was an insanely long ride! I never expected I would write so much shit, and if you managed to read literally everything, congratulations, you're a madman. This is definitely the longest post I've ever written in my life!

Pretty much everything I've written here have been made with a lot of thought and effort, most of the stuff I wrote on this post for a while was my Best and Worst of the Year and Anticipated Releases category, although most of the time I was kinda lazy and only wrote little by little with everything else, and hours prior to the publishing of this post, I kinda rushed on the very end of the post, but I think I did a pretty good job into everything I made. And no, I won't even bother making a TL;DR about it.

Although to make things short, everything was an absolute mess, but my personal problems are always the worst of my life which makes every year automatically bad for my health, but on the bright side, 2021 is looking to be the very best year with the best releases ever, so I'm really looking forward to all of that!

I did mention my private server, I wouldn't like to disclose anything about it, but as of late, it has become more like a home to me, I don't check Twitter as much like I used to and this server is why I rarely go to any other Discord servers ever. Always being on my Discord server and keeping an eye on it be like:

(I know I said I wouldn't like to invite anyone into my private server ever again, and I also choose to not make my server public, but if there's a mutual that I REMOTELY like, I can DM you the invite link, if you're someone I find meh or I don't like, you can fuck off)

As for my resolutions, and most importantly on what to do with my drawing skills and project, I guess we'll have to see if I can deliver or not.

Anyways, this was a really tough year but thanks for continuing to support me throughout this entire year, for better and for worse. Hopefully things will get better this 2021 and we can be free again.

Happy New Year!

My Carrd - I did some improvements as well!

Every image featured in this post in high resolution - Because if you’re reading this post from the link I send instead of the Tumblr homepage (which I don’t think anyone even uses Tumblr anymore), my theme makes the images look incredibly small and as much as I like this theme, this is something I definitely hate. (I’ve been redoing this album numerous times by fixing something and adding at least one new image)

[psychotherapyconsultants]

The Health Benefits of Staying Organized: An Interview With John Linden

Ever since I moved into my very own office — away from the dirty laundry and magazine piles of my home office in the bedroom — I’ve been studying the relationship between space and productivity/mood. As I organize my files, hang paintings, and eliminate the first threats of clutter, I am paying special attention to what promotes health and creativity and what destroys it.

Interior designer John Linden knows this subject well. He is a nationally recognized designer of mirrors and other wall décor and is the editor of TheMostChic, where he shares some excellent advice and knowledge he has gained over the years as a designer. I enjoyed his piece The Science Of Staying Organized – 5 Ways I Learned To Keep A Tidy Home so much that I  wanted to learn more.

Therese Borchard: Did you really test over 50 strategies to come up with your five best practices to get organized? I’m curious, what were some of the strategies that didn’t work?

John Linden: I did. My wife and I just moved into a new house about 16 months ago, so with that move, we wanted to break with some of our old habits. Once we made this decision, I found there was tons of advice out there about how to stay organized at home (and in general). I’m a tinkerer at heart, so we decided to give each idea a fair shake.

Many of the “best practices” I encountered were simply tactics, like “how to clean the microwave better” or “how to sort through your mail.” In general, the ideas that were too complicated or too time-consuming worked poorly. This leads to the next question, but this experience taught me that the most powerful ways to stay organized are also the simplest.

I work as an interior designer — and my wife works full time too — so the idea of working another few hours on home organization after a long day of my own work just was impractical.

Early on, some ideas I stumbled on were very focused on scheduling and preparation, especially with laundry and meal planning. Even when I was really trying, I just couldn’t keep up. Ultimately what stuck were bite-sized ideas that didn’t require a ton of thought or motion.

Therese: Your five steps differ a little with the KonMari method, in that you encourage people to begin where they are, not with a certain category. How would you tweak Kondo’s method with your own wisdom? 


John: Just to start, I understand KonMari’s popularity and think it’s a good system. Fundamentally, Marie’s point is about simplifying, which is exactly what I found to be the trend among all the things that actually worked.

For differences, I think Marie’s “does it spark joy” idea has the right intention, but it’s a little too serious for me. Just speaking from experience here, whenever an idea — like lifting weights, keeping a healthy diet, or cleaning house — becomes too much of a personal statement, it can be really hard to pick it back up once you’ve dropped the ball.

To put it another way, whenever you raise the stakes on something, if you drop off, it can be really easy to put up psychological barriers to re-starting, as facing that failure can be tough. In my experience, a lighter touch and less pressure makes the normal rhythm of stops and starts more psychologically manageable.

Another thing to consider is that you really only see how people have completely changed their lives with KonMari. You never know how much is just for Instagram and how much is the truth. In any case, seeing tidy, perfect homes can be both a blessing and a curse. If you are just trying to do a little better, it can feel like a burden when every house you see is Architectural Digest-ready.

Therese: Let’s talk about health. What have you found in your research about clutter contributing to disease? 


John: There’s the obvious stuff. I mention air purifiers in my article because they work really well, are cheap, and help with dust in the house. As we all know, a dusty environment can lead to problems breathing, especially if you have asthma, etc.

Air quality is the lowest hanging fruit for sure. I did read a bit about how cleaning can reduce the likelihood of common colds, flu, etc. but much of this was promoted by the cleaning industry, so there’s some bias there.

Some other things to consider are just the visibility problems associated with too much stuff. Mold, mildew, water damage (the list goes on) can be more expensive to repair and can cause more damage when you have more stuff. It can also be harder to spot.

Same goes for insects. I read an article about a brown recluse spider colony hiding out in a clutter-filled attic. Definitely not something you want in your house.

Therese: How does staying organized promote health and emotional resilience?


John: There is an old adage that your space reflects your mind. I’ve found this to be true. Very rarely does an organized mind tend toward a disorganized space and vice versa. To take that a step further, keeping a clean house, car, desk — whatever — has one huge benefit. Mundane organization tasks will drain your energy through the day.

There is this great book called “The Willpower Instinct” by a Stanford prof that talks all about how simple tasks, like deciding what to eat for breakfast, cleaning off your desk, etc all drain our energy and lead to poorer choices. The author’s theory is bigger, but that’s the idea. Here’s a summary.

The constant hum of tasks — think reshuffling paper on your desk, searching your fridge for food — will drain your energy, making your decision-making worse and your mental fatigue greater.

Therese: Explain how multitasking interferes with the organization.


John: I’m actually working on a multitasking article right now so I’ve been reading about it a lot. The basic principle is that you shouldn’t multitask. Forever researchers have been explaining how the brain can’t actually multitask — it can just switch from one thing to another thing quickly. This concept arrived way before the iPhone did. When smartphones started taking over, however, it became way more relevant.

To answer your question, most people multitask with their phones. The problem with this is that you actually never get anything done, so you feel like organizing your space is impossible — because it takes so long. Have you ever reflected on your day and wondered how it took 8 hours to make lunch and drop off a package at FedEx? Much of this “time warp” has to do with how multitasking affects our perception, making us feel like we’re getting things done while we are actually just on Instagram.

Since our minds are engaged, if halfheartedly, in organizing, we perceive it to be a much more laborious task than it really is. In other words, what five minutes of focused effort takes ends up being three hours of distracted time wasted. To your brain, however, you feel like getting anything done will take three hours, making the prospect of organizing less and less attractive.

Therese: I love what you say about looking at pictures. Can you expound on the power of images to inspire?


John: As an interior design, I know firsthand the power of images. I use inspiration boards for every project and learn about my clients’ needs through imagery more than anything else. People are drawn to beautiful images in general. Think about the biggest websites on the planet — Instagram, Pinterest, and so on. These are basically just collections of images.

Harnessing this power to encourage yourself can be very beneficial. People use this trick all the time with weight loss and other personal goals. Think about all the advice focused on “visualizing” success.

The other side of that coin should be considered. Remember that all that glitters isn’t gold, especially online. If you have a personality that is very alpha and competitive, you can work yourself up over not having the tidiest, most organized, best color coordinated and so on.

Like I mentioned in my article, know thy self. If you can take the good ideas others put online and integrate them into your own effort, then do it. If you can’t handle seeing the master organizers of the internet without turning green with envy, then stick to goals where you can feel like you’ve achieved something. This will help keep that motivational flame burning.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-health-benefits-of-staying-organized-an-interview-with-john-linden/

[michelleinaba-english-blog]

Struggling with Tourette Syndrome

My final project for my Master of Science degree in Journalism at the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. Produced in video and print, between December 2014 and March 2015. Unpublished. 

This story is about the struggles of a 12-year-old student in Queens, New York City. Joseph suffered from Tourette Syndrome and was struggling in school. At the time of the reporting, he used to go to a public school in Queens. According to his mother, the school wasn’t prepared to handle kids with TS and that resulted in the difficulties Joseph was experiencing with his teachers and administrators. By the time I finished the project, it wasn’t sure whether Joseph would fail that semester or not due to the difficulties caused by his condition. 

For the video part of this reporting, please see: https://vimeo.com/122950602

Struggling with Tourette syndrome   By MICHELLE INABA

With stiff fingers, Joseph Pizarro sat at the kitchen table typing on his computer when his mother, Lisa Torres, entered the room. It was a late Saturday afternoon, and the light coming through the windows covered the wooden furniture, making the kitchen cozy and warm. On the wall, there was a rectangular wooden board with the saying “Love Lives Here.” As he was typing, Joseph’s mom asked him if he was hungry, and what he wanted to eat. “Mac and cheese,” he said. Although Joseph appears to be a typical twelve-year-old, there is something that makes him feel quite different than his peers.

Joseph suffers from Tourette syndrome (TS), a neurological disorder in which a person makes uncontrollable movements and sounds known as tics, such as grunting, yelling, cursing, head jerking, and eye blinking. The national Tourette Syndrome Association estimates that approximately 300,000 children suffer from TS in the United States. “Tourette’s is a tic disorder, it’s just specific, defined as a combination of motor and vocal tics for at least a year in the absence of other neurological symptoms,” Dr. Michael Pourfar, neurologist at the New York University Langone Medical Center, said. “A tic is like an itch; if you don’t itch it, it bothers you more and more; if you don’t tic, it bothers you more and more,” Joseph explained.

Joseph was diagnosed at age 7, after presenting vocal and motor tics for one year. The diagnosis came as a shock to his family, who did not know much about Tourette syndrome. “I felt I was cheated,” Torres recalled. “I felt that Joseph was gonna have this very difficult life, and we were all going to be challenged with Joseph’s condition. It was heartbreaking.” According to Torres, doctors consider Joseph’s tics mild. But when he was younger, tics would bother him even at bedtime. “It was very hard, as a mother, to see him not being able to go sleep because he would tic and tic, and he would shake the whole bed,” Torres said. “It was so bad at times, and I felt guilty going to sleep before him. I had to make sure that he was sleeping first, before I can go to sleep because I felt guilty that he’s having this difficulty and I don’t.” What Joseph’s mom did not grasp at the time was how much his condition would affect him not just at home but also at school.

Joseph’s tics consist of movements with his wrists, feet, and neck. “I have a wrist tic that actually makes my wrist really tired after a while, after writing,” Joseph said. “I can write for a very short period of time.” Torres said he has been diagnosed with Carpal tunnel syndrome in his right wrist, a condition that causes pain or numbness in the hand, wrist, and arm, and the reason he has difficulty writing. Torres said it is possible that he developed Carpal tunnel by rotating his wrist too much because of his tic.

Struggling with writing assignments because of his tics is not the only challenge Joseph faces in school. He also suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, psychiatric disorders often associated with Tourette syndrome. “Tourette syndrome often has other things that travel along with it: OCD, attention deficit disorder; sometimes it’s a constellation,” Dr. Pourfar said. “A lot of times the tics are not the biggest problem. In a lot of patients, it’s actually the obsessive-compulsive behaviors, or the attention deficit behaviors, that are much more disruptive to, let’s say, their school performance.”

Torres said that Joseph’s teachers do not understand the disorder and the underlying conditions, and tend to think that he has behavioral problems. “The more difficult challenge for Joseph is his internal challenges, things you cannot see,” she said. “His focusing…his OCD.” Those are more of his challenges than the actual tics alone.” In describing his condition at school Joseph said, “The teacher’s reaction, most of the time, is not a good reaction. They think that I’m just lazy.”

Several education specialists who work with kids with Tourette syndrome said that organization is a common problem among students with the disorder, and that ADHD often affects a person’s ability to organize. “Kids who have processing disorders tend to be very disorganized,” Sue Conners, education specialist and president of the Tourette Syndrome Association of Greater New York State, said. Joseph is no exception. He has a difficult time organizing his schedule and does not always hand his homework assignments on time.

In an effort to help Joseph’s teachers understand his neurological disorder and the psychiatric disorders from which he suffers, Joseph’s mom meets with them at the beginning of every school year. In September 2014, Torres met with school administrators and teachers from I.S. 93, the public middle school in Queens where Joseph attends seventh grade. She said it took about two months until Joseph’s new teachers grasped his condition. In December 2014 he appeared to be doing very well in school, according to his mom.

Torres said it came as a shock when she received, in mid-February, emails from the school that said that her son was failing four out of his seven classes. One Tuesday afternoon in February, Torres received an email from Joseph’s science teacher, alerting her that Joseph had not handed in homework assignments. The teacher was sending Joseph home with some work that needed to be turned in at the end of the week in order for it to be counted for that marking period. But Joseph did not complete his assignments on time. On that following Friday, Grace Sears, the assistant principal, emailed Torres to let her know that Joseph would not pass science that quarter because of “missing homework, assessment scores and now no scores for three projects.” She added that she hoped Torres would review her son’s data on Pupil Path the following quarter “to ensure his success.” Pupil Path is a website for the New York City public schools where parents can see the date and the name of their children’s homework assignments, as well as their grades. Torres described Pupil Path as a confusing system that does not describe what the assignments are. Handouts are not seen or available to download on the website, so she does not know what her son has to do.

The bad news did not end with the science class. Soon after receiving the science teacher’s email, Torres emailed the physical education teacher to discuss Joseph’s failing grades in his class, according to information she found on Pupil Path. She asked for an extension for his missing work or an extra credit assignment so he could get a passing grade. In an email exchange, the teacher denied both requests, saying that he had already given Joseph extensions for his assignments. He also wrote that, “Joseph has difficulty following directions during physical education. To be specific, Joseph lays on the floor of the gym during instruction, refuses to complete written work in class and [interrupts] instruction by talking to others in class.” Torres replied by suggesting that Joseph might have problems sitting on the floor because of his tics, and questioned whether he was allowed to use his Neo, a word processor he uses to do his written assignments, in class. The teacher answered that Joseph never mentioned an issue with his back, and that he did not know what tics were or what the Neo was. In a phone interview, Torres said she is frustrated with the lack of communication on the part of the school, and that the assistant principal should have reached out to her earlier. “I’m not saying that my son is a victim here,” Torres said. “Communication is what I’m really upset about.”

According to education experts, Joseph’s problems with his homework and behavior in physical education might have a more complex explanation than simply being lazy. Based on information described in the emails between Torres and I.S.93, Kathy Giordano, an education specialist for the national Tourette Syndrome Association, suggested that Joseph’s behavior is likely related to his Tourette’s and his OCD and ADHD. She described a possible challenge Joseph might have in processing directions, something that is not unusual for children with Tourette’s. In addition, he might lack sensory input, which could cause him to want to lie on the floor of the gym. “I know some kids come home from school and they lay on the living room floor, and the parents will take the cushions off the couch, and lay it on top of the kid, and then lay on top of the cushions,” Giordano said. “The mother lays on top of the cushions because the kid needs more sensory input.” Giordano’s explanation seems to fit Joseph’s case, based on Torres’s description of Joseph’s need for sensory input, caused by his OCD. “Sometimes when we are walking, he has to touch something,” she said. “If he doesn’t touch it, it’s like he can’t move on. He needs to go back and touch it.”

Difficulties between Torres and I.S. 93 have increased. Torres said that two weeks after she transferred Joseph to I.S. 93, in sixth grade, the school wanted to move him into a special education class because he had Tourette’s. Torres refused and insisted that Joseph remain in mainstream “because he doesn’t have a learning disability,” she said. “He just needs accommodations. He can learn, he understands all of the stuff. I don’t want him to fall behind.” I.S. 93 allowed Joseph to remain in mainstream classes, which are classes that follow the standard curriculum.

Despite the bumps on the road, I.S. 93 provided all the accommodations required in Joseph’s Individual Education Program (IEP). An IEP is a binding document, which contains all the accommodations and services that the school needs to provide to the student. Once the IEP is finalized, the school is obliged to comply. When a child is diagnosed with Tourette syndrome, the initial step is a request for an IEP evaluation, which can be requested by the parent, teachers, or another educator, if they feel the child needs special services.

Joseph is allowed to have an IEP because of his diagnosis of Tourette syndrome and its impact on his ability to function in school. Currently, his accommodations include: occupational therapy sessions, which he gets twice a week; testing accommodations where he gets a separate classroom with less distraction and extra time; somebody to read the tests for him; and a Neo, or some other type of word processor, for his writing difficulties. The federal law Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (I.D.E.A.) guarantees the rights of special needs students to receive these accommodations and demands compliance from the schools. According to the National Tourette Syndrome Association, the I.D.E.A. law classifies children with Tourette syndrome under “other health impairment” in order to “help correct the misperception of Tourette syndrome as a behavioral or conduct disorder and prevent the misdiagnosis of their needs.”

Torres said that I.S. 93 was complying with Joseph’s IEP, but that they still did not understand his condition. “They were doing it because the IEP said to do it, but they are not understanding the need for him to do it,” she said. “I really do not think at all that my teachers understand, cuz I guess it’s just confusing for them,” Joseph said. Teachers said that the greatest difficulty with kids who have mild or moderate cases of TS is to know when it is a tic, when it is the underlying conditions, and when the child is manipulating the situation. “You always have to go to the default setting of  ‘this is a tic and they can’t control it,’ until you really get to know that student,” Stefanie Piraino, a second grade teacher at Livonia Elementary School, in Livonia, N.Y., said. “You’re [going to] know when they are trying to manipulate or avoid the situation.” She stressed the necessity of cooperation and communication between the parents, the teachers, and the school administration. “When the teachers don’t believe me, it makes me really mad,” Joseph said. “It also increases my tics. When they don’t believe me, how is that helping me?”

I.S. 93 refused to comment on any issues associated with Joseph. Harry Hartfield, deputy press secretary for the DOE Office of Media Relations, was contacted several times by phone and email, and refused to answer any questions or requests for comments. But an official at the Special Education Office from the New York City DOE, who talked on the condition of anonymity because he was not allowed to give information to the press, said that when schools do not have the necessary supports or skill sets to work with a student with TS, the general procedure is that they reach out to a network within the DOE that can provide what the school needs. “There is a support network that every school is affiliated with,” the official said. The administrator from the network would then help the school to set up the necessary supports for the child’s academic success, such as training for the teachers who work with that student, for example. The networks provide education and administrative support to the schools. They are, in turn, supported by education clusters, which respond to the central DOE.

The official said that there is no cookie-cutter approach when working with students who have Tourette’s, and that the department looks at each case individually. “Not every student who has Tourette syndrome is going to need the same type of supports, or the same level of supports,” he said. “It depends on the severity of the disability and how it impacts on his functioning in school.”  The IEP, for instance, is not the only support in place for kids with special needs. They might use other types of accommodations, such as a 504, which provides, among other things, a structured learning environment, different testing accommodations, and medical and transportation services for kids who did not qualify for an IEP. Since I.S. 93 has refused to comment, it is unclear whether they requested support or training for their teachers.

Tourette syndrome is a complex disorder and, according to doctors, there is still much that medical science does not know about it yet. It is difficult to find an accepted, definitive number of children who are affected by the disorder in the United States. For instance, a Center for Disease Control (CDC) study estimates that Tourette’s affects 138,000 children, but it also acknowledges that this number could be higher depending on the study. Dr. Pourfar said that a lot of TS patients do not follow up with their treatments when their condition improves, and disappear from the system, which makes getting longitudinal data in the United States very hard. Another difficulty is the large spectrum of tics associated with to Tourette syndrome, and their different degrees of severity. “A lot of people live relatively normal lives with Tourette syndrome, and a percentage of them is just devastated,” Dr. Pourfar said. “We only capture the people that come to us. Some of them never come to us because they have tics and they live with it, and they don’t seek help.”

Today it is estimated that 86 percent of the children diagnosed with Tourette’s have also been diagnosed with at least one additional mental condition, according to data on the CDC website. OCD and ADHD are the most common underlying conditions associated with Tourette syndrome. “Forty to seventy percent of patients have one or both,” Dr. Pourfar said. And studies suggest that Tourette syndrome might be a hereditary disorder, according to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), affecting boys three to four times more than girls. “We believe there is a genetic component to Tourette syndrome, and you can see it in multiple family members, but the majority of people with Tourette’s actually don’t have any family history of it,” Dr. Alon Mogilner, a neurosurgeon who performs brain surgery for Tourette’s patients at the New York University Langone Medical Center, said. New clinical and genetic research is being conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) on Tourette syndrome to find information that would help understand TS genetic risk factors, as well as new findings regarding TS and the co-existing conditions, such as OCD and ADHD.

Joseph’s disorder is complex and his IEP might not be enough to help him achieve academic success. Education specialists stress the need for understanding, acceptance, and patience by the teachers and the school. That translates into trying to find alternative methods to solve Joseph’s behaviors. For instance, both Conners and Giordano suggested that the school performs a functional behavior assessment (FBA) to understand when and how Joseph’s behaviors tend to appear, which is also recommended on the NYC DOE website. Depending on the results of the FBA, the school might develop a behavior intervention plan (BIP), which would include intervention strategies to curb the behaviors. Conners pointed out that the student’s parents can request this from the school and can ask for an assessment appropriate for someone with Tourette’s. “The schools often have their own assessments, but they don’t take into consideration neurological difficulties,” she said.

Additionally, the education specialists recommended training teachers when there is a student with TS in their classroom, and assigning a separate teacher to work with the student on a daily basis to help him with his organization issues and to assist him with keeping with his homework. Conners also suggested an assistant technology evaluation, in which the school would see what are the available technologies that could help Joseph with his writing and organization issues. She is a strong proponent of using an iPad instead of a Neo because the iPad is better for organization and allows for students to immediately email assignments to teachers. It also offers apps that can help with reading, writing, and note taking. “Many schools need more education,” Brad Cohen, an assistant principal at an elementary school in Atlanta, G.A., said. “They need to learn not only what is Tourette syndrome, but about the accommodations to help these kids find success.”

Some public schools are setting an example of what can be done to help students with Tourette’s. In the small town of Livonia, N.Y., Livonia Elementary School seems very supportive of students with special needs, according to one of its teachers, Piraino. The school also tends to maintain students with mild or moderate cases of TS within the regular mainstream classes. “We truly, truly, try to keep the kids within the mainstream, and put the support services in the classroom, within the regular classroom, rather than pulling them out, and I’d mean providing them an one-on-one aid, who could see when things are escalating,” Piraino said. Livonia Central School District has a full time occupational therapist, a full time physical therapist, a school psychologist, a psychologist intern, teacher assistants - for when students need one-on-one assistance, and a school home coordinator, who functions as a liaison between the families and the school. “Essentially, our administration was fabulous,” Piraino said, in regards to the school’s handling of her students with Tourette syndrome.

It is unclear whether Joseph will have tics for the rest of his life, or whether they are going to disappear once he becomes an adult. Studies show that in about half of the cases the kids became tic-free after age 18. “Know that there is hope,” Dr. Mogilner said. “This is a disease that can get better… people can get cured from Tourette’s spontaneously.”

[chitarra10]

I was tagged by @penaltywaltz... well, sort of... I just stole it from her. X-)

Rules: tag 20 people

The Last:

1. Drink: Milk

2. Phone Call: My mom called me to tell me that my grandpa was coming home from the hospital today.

3. Text message: My friend in TX... I wanted to make sure he was gonna be OK since he’s in the path of Hurricane Harvey... he says he’s OK right now, thank God.

4. Song you listened to: “All the Wrong Things” by Branan Murphy ft. Koryn Hawthorne... it’s a beautiful song about admitting your faults and the sincere desire to change... give it a listen, I think you’ll love it. :-)

5. Time you cried: Yesterday... my boss ripped into me for telling him I was too sick to come into work, and he demanded I come in anyway, so I sucked it up and went to work, and it was a living hell of pain and nausea, then I stopped at my mother’s house because she picked up my prescription refills from the pharmacy for me, and I was greeted by my sister ripping into me because for some God-forsaken reason, she decided that my mother should come home from work and clean the house instead of visiting her own father in the hospital, and she decided that I’m selfish and narcissistic and that I don’t care about anyone else but myself for not stopping my mother from going.  I just took the prescriptions, left the house, and broke down when I got back into my car.  And I ended up missing work today because I’m still sick AND depressed out of my mind today.  Way to lead up to my next mission trip in 3 weeks, eh?

Have You:

6. Dated someone twice: No

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes

8. Been cheated on: Yes

9. Lost someone special: Yes

10. Been depressed: In the long list of diagnoses I have going on right now, depression and anxiety are among them.

11: Gotten drunk and thrown up: No... I don’t drink.

List 3 Favorite Colors:

12. Sapphire Blue

13. That teal color that you can’t quite tell if it’s blue or green

14: That indigo color that you can’t quite tell if it’s blue or purple

In the last year, have you…

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Was never in love

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes... one of my co-workers has been reporting every single thing I say to my boss behind my back, including the fact that I’m currently in the process of getting a concealed carry permit, which lead to a loud shouting match between me and the boss.

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes

20. Found out who your friends are: Yes

21. Kissed someone on your FB list: Sort of... Rocco isn’t technically on my FB list, but I have an entire album dedicated to pictures of him because he’s my little “fur-nephew” and I love him so much, and I kissed him on his little Beagle head when I saw him yesterday. :-)

GENERAL:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Probably about 85%.

23. Do you have any pets: I have a “fur-nephew,” Rocco, does he count? :-)

24. Do you want to change your name: Sometimes I’d like to... I’m not exactly keen on being named after my abusive father.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I had to work, and then I went to a local coffee house afterwards with my friend from church, and she gave me a Sherlock Holmes book for a birthday present. :-)

26. What time did you wake up: I got up at 11 because I was supposed to be at work at 12:30, but I was way too sick to do it, and I ended up spending the next 5 hours sitting on the floor in the bathroom with my phone and tablet in case anyone tried to contact me.  No one did, of course.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: The same thing I’m doing right now... Tumblring with the TV live streaming in the background.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: My next mission is happening in 3 weeks, and I can hardly believe it’s that close already!! :-D

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: Actually saw her?  Two days ago.  But I’ve talked to her on the phone multiple times since.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My health first and foremost, and a close second is my financial situation.

31. What are you listening to right now: “Salvation” by Skillet... it’s the Eurus and Sherlock song, seriously, check it out, it’s the perfect theme song for The Final Problem.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My grandpa goes by Tom because his middle name is Thomas, I work with a sales guy named Tom, and I know two Tom’s from church.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My current situation in general.  The stress is just piling on again when I’m trying to get packed and ready for my mission, and I need it to stop so I can concentrate on this.

34. Most visited website: Probably a tie between Tumblr and Facebook.

35. Mole/s: I have freckles of various shades of brown all over my paper-white skin, but only one on my left forearm is slightly raised like a mole.

36. Mark/s: My entire body is full of scars from the acne I had when I was a teenager, multiple cysts I had removed, and a significant amount of self harm in the form of stabbing my arms with sharp objects when I was in my late teens and early 20′s.

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a professional ballet dancer and an actress.

38. Hair color: The same as Benedict Cumberbatch’s natural hair color.

39. Long or short hair: A pixie cut that was supposed to look like Jennifer Lawerence’s, but because my hair turned curly once it got cut short, it actually looks like a cross between Daniel Jackson and Sherlock having a bad hair day. X-)

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: A fictional someone... X-)

41. What do you like about yourself: I dunno... the older I get, the more I feel like my greatest talent is the ability to take levels of abuse that other people could never handle.

42. Piercings: 3 in each earlobe and one 90′s cartilage pierce in my right ear.

43. Blood type: O+... as most people of Western European heritage are. X-)

44: Nicknames: Up until I was 30, everyone used to call me this particular word that used to make me blazingly, furiously angry, and I never understood why it did, but the angrier I got, the more people would say it because they thought it was funny to make me cry.  Then when I was 30, my sister started questioning me as to why I got so infuriated at the sound of that word, so I started researching a few linguistic things online, trying to see if this word was truly made up as they claimed or if there was actually something to it.  I managed to find the linguistic roots of the word, and it turns out it was actually an Albanian-influenced Italian curse meaning, “The Devil’s Ass,” with “ass” being in the context of a slave or a work donkey.  Basically, they were cursing me to be a slave to the devil every time they called me that.  Needless to say, I proceeded to angrily confront my family with the evidence I found, and told them that if any of them ever uttered that word to me, about me, or in any way, shape, or form of connection to me, that it would be the last time they ever see me for the rest of their lives.  No one’s ever used a nickname for me ever again.  And after that, they dang well better not.

45. Relationship status: Single... have been for 13 years, and honestly, I stopped looking for a relationship a looooong time ago.

46. Zodiac: Ophiuchus

47. Pronouns: She/Her

48. Favorite TV show(s): Stargate SG-1, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Star Trek in all it’s incarnations, Psych, and Saving Hope.  I might be forgetting a couple, but those are the top of the list.

49. Tattoos: None yet, but I think I’m gonna get one for my 40th birthday in 2019... I wanna get an American eagle with it’s wing around a Central American quetzal to represent how much I love Central America and doing missions work there, and underneath them, “Mark 16:15-16,” which is what’s known as “The Great Commission” from the Bible.

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: I had all the baby teeth and 4 permanent teeth removed from my mouth when I was 11, and I had 2 pilar cysts (so far) removed from my head... but there are 3 more cysts forming on my head, and they’re gonna get removed if/when they get big enough.  Dermatologist said I’m gonna have to deal with the cyst problem for the rest of my life.

52. Hair dyed a different color: Never permanently, but I have done temporary dark brown and eggplant purple a few times.

53. Sports: Never was a sports fan... the only sports I actually like to watch is the Olympics and American Ninja Warrior, if that counts. X-)

54. Vacation: The last thing that could actually be described as a vacation was when my friend took me with her to NYC for 5 days because she was eager to cross it off her bucket list.  Before that, it was in 2001, my mother, my sister, and I took a road trip to 2 states that were an 18-21 hour drive away just for two particular food festivals, and before that, my grandmother took my sister and me to Italy after I graduated high school in the summer of 1998.  Every other place I’ve been to has been for mission work... missions are no vacation, they’re hard work, but they’re the most worth-it thing you’ll ever do in your life. :-)

55. Shoes: I have Sketchers work-shoes, a few pairs of canvas shoes, a few pairs of ballet flats, and 2 pairs of heels that I haven’t worn in over 5 years.  But all the shoes that lace up, I laced them with either black or white elastic, so now all my shoes are slip-ons. :-)

56. Eating: I ate a bowl of vanilla yogurt with some chocolate BelVita biscuits about an hour ago.

57. Drinking: Nothing... I had a glass of milk earlier.

58. I’m about to: Back to Panama for my 9th mission in about 3 weeks... this has been the most disorganized and closely cut mission I’ve ever done, but the money came in, so now it’s actually happening!!

59. Waiting for: September 16th because that’s when we’re leaving for Panama... :-)

60. Want: My health back, and my finances in order.

61. Get married: If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, that’s fine, too.  Either way, I’ll be perfectly OK.

62. Career: I’d love to be able to do this missions thing for a living, but the financial support isn’t there right now.  I hope someday (soon!!) that it will be.

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

64. Lips or eyes: They’re both pretty essential for a functioning face, but I’d say eyes serve a more necessary function.

65. Shorter or taller: I’d like to be a couple of inches taller, maybe I might be if the scoliosis in my spine can ever be straightened out.

66. Older or younger: Physically I’d like to be younger, but intellectually, I’d like to be older and wiser.

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: My stomach has never been nice, even when I was at my skinniest, and I’ve always been OK with my arms, so I’d say I’d rather have my stomach be nicer looking.

68. Sensitive or loud: These aren’t mutually exclusive, so I think each has their place in the appropriate situations.

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.  I don’t go for that momentary fun and then dump them off bull crap.

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: Actually... once again, not mutually exclusive, but... neither of these are characteristics I’m OK with.

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: Not by choice.

72. Drank hard liquor: No

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: An unfortunate number of times in my life.

74. Turned someone down: Yes

75. Sex on first date: Never

76. Broken someone’s heart: Once... but if he truly did love me and want to marry me, then he should’ve learned sooner that I wouldn’t stand for taking a backseat to his BFF for the rest of my life.

77. Had your heart broken: Yes

78. Been arrested: No

79. Cried when someone died: Yes

80. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: There is, in fact, empirical evidence that I exist, despite so many people’s opinions to the contrary.

82. Miracles: Yes

83. Love at first sight: No... you can’t possibly learn what you need to know about a person in order to make the choice to love them from just one look.

84. Santa Claus: Every parental figure is a Santa Claus. :-)

85. Kiss on the first date: Not anymore.  He’s gonna have to earn that.

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: I’m actually not sure.  I hate to call someone a best friend who doesn’t think of me the same way, and I don’t believe that anyone thinks of me that way at the current moment.

87. Eye color: The same as Benedict Cumberbatch

88. Favorite movie: Probably a 3-way tie between Star Trek Into Darkness, Star Trek Beyond, and The Force Awakens.

I’m tagging everyone who sees this. Everyone, please copy, paste, fill it in, and tag me!! :-)

[lissaremade]

can i get some oc asks to help distract me? idk what to reblog but....if you’re curious about anything that has to do with my ocs you can ask

you can send me an oc’s name that you’re curious about and i can talk about them for a bit, or you can ask about some of the stories i have for some of my ocs!

here’s my oc website: http://asschan.weebly.com/

i’ll make a post with some newer ocs that aren’t on the website after this one!

here are some of the different stories i have and the characters involved in them under the cut.....you can ask about them if you want! a lot are still really under development but any and all questions helps me develop them more

this is super disorganized and i’m reALLY SORRY

dnd

the dnd campaign i’m a part of with my friends.......alek is the dnd character i play as, milo is his (dead) childhood best friend. if you want to know more spoilery details about their backstories you’ll have to ask off-anon because my friends follow my blog and i don’t wanna spoil them, otherwise feel free to ask about what’s going on in the campaign!

food chain world

im calling it that because i have nothing else to refer to it as, but it’s the general world where all my demon, spirit, witch and some human ocs reside in where demons consume the souls of humans and witches consume the life force of demons as well as create spirits out of the dead souls of humans.....that was a terrible description but you can ask about it if you want to

basically, demons, witches and spirits are magic. demons hunt humans. because of this, humans fear and reject magic, for the most part.

i have tentative webcomic ideas revolving around jun and cat respectively that take place in this universe

main ocs

i basically just re-purpose all my main ocs for a lot of various aus based on different series i like so they don’t really exist in One universe. 

for the sake of brevity, on my oc website the universe they’re in is the food chain one (which is why mira is a spirit)

god/goddess world

seren and niko are in this world......it’s not very developed yet but basically in this world there are gods and goddesses who play an active role in the lives of the people who live in it.

i don’t have too much figured out yet but i think that the gods can pick children they see fit to be their champion, which inflicts them with a curse-type affliction, testing to see if the child has what it takes to overcome and represent the god. (which leaves the child marked with scar-like markings....the more scarring is present, the more respected the person because it means that they overcame something Major)

seer world???

IDK what to call this one i just came up with it like a month ago and haven’t really developed it that much at all.....this is the universe ari and (mysterious character i haven’t named yet, see the next post i’m about to make for pictures) live in.........ari is a seer and the adoptive child of a royal family. 

i have an idea for a vague plot but like. nothing really besides that.